The Basement Yard - #432 - Proper Restaurant Etiquette
Episode Date: January 8, 2024Who has better restaurant etiquette, Joe or Frank? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome back to the base.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Welcome back to the base.
Many are frank.
How's it going?
I'm a chief.
I'm a chief.
I'm a chief today.
I don't want to.
It seems inappropriate.
I can't quite put my finger on it.
But I love how we just took the term from like, you know, Native American tribes.
And we're just like, we just call white men with like, you know, mustaches like, oh, chief.
We call like Starbucks baristas, like, thanks, chief.
Yeah.
We don't have to start there.
Completely took it for ourselves.
We can save that for like November,
once the season of talking about America.
Native Americans?
Is that the month that's only month we could talk about?
Well, that's when we talk about it about being like,
the whites are like, you know,
we've kind of like pushed people out of their land.
Now, kinda, at least you're well aware
that it has happened.
Hey guys, welcome, welcome back.
Welcome back, it's the new year.
Hope everyone's doing extremely well,
but, 20.
First thing I want to say off the bat,
if you're coming to the live shows January 19th,
we are going to be in Makla, New Jersey, January 26th,
and New Haven February 1st in Medford, Massachusetts.
If you're coming to those shows,
we sold them out, which is fucking awesome.
But go to thebasementyard.com right now,
and there will be an audience form, okay?
Or you can go to thebasementyard.com slash submit,
there will be an audience form there.
We want you to feel it out.
If you're coming to the fucking shows, okay?
Tell us what shows you're gonna be at,
and then fill out the form.
There's gonna have some fun questions on there.
Like what's your biggest confession?
What's the worst date you've ever been on?
It's shit like that.
And we want the show to be interactive.
So we're gonna pick out some of these things at random
and kind of like read them off.
And if we wanna bring you on stage
or we just wanna talk about it,
you can remain anonymous if you want.
But we wanna like kind of drive the show
with that type of thing.
So go to thebasementyard.com, fill out the audience form and we're gonna have lots of drive the show with that type of thing. So go to the basementyard.com
Fill out the audience form and we're gonna have a lots of fun when we see you guys. Maybe maybe just maybe we can fill one out
And like I like put it in there. It was like a dummy one. I'm just gonna put it in something so wild about you
So like I'm filling to hi. It's me Joe Sanogado. I want to talk about some The worst date ever, well, it's because of my massively small penis. Yeah, you know, massively small.
Insanely small. No, that's like a biggie smalls. What's that called? And I
I'm not I know what it is. I'm not going to say anything like jumbo shrimp. Yeah. What is that?
Not a figure it out. Come on. Give me a letter. Oh Mon- nope, not a mon-
No, not a mon-
Mon- it be a opposite on
Come on. Wait is it oh you're fucking with me. Oh, it's an oxy moron. Fuck you. I said it
I said it because you're physically too stupid to be able to fucking come up with it
It's called I forgot no bastard. You didn't forget. All right. Don't call me a black. Don't call me a bastard ever again
Dude by the way this morning when I was walking out of my building I
I'm walking towards the front door and there's a guy in a lobby. He's wearing a hoodie on the back of it. It says I
Am not who I am
Okay, very Brooklyn thing to wear I literally want to walk out to this guy and be like you are who you am though
He is though. You are exactly who you am.
I love those people that just wear, just like,
what does that mean?
Like the hacks that are like,
the ones that drive me nuts or the hacks or sweaters,
you just say birds aren't real.
Just like, it's a joke.
But is it though?
It is.
Are you sure?
It's 100% a joke.
I don't think so, because I need the people
that wear that if you ask them.
They're just like, no, actually,
I do the kind of thing that they're not. How many people you ask? One. And guess what? because any of the people that wear that if you ask them they're just like no actually I do To kind of think that they're not how many people you ask one
Yeah, and guess what 100% of the time it has been the case. Okay, um was it
You saw it's in the front it was it like light out?
Could you was in the morning? Oh, so it was like the sun had already come up. Yeah, so what the fuck are you asking?
So you were able to see that you walked out with those pants that you're wearing
Just want to be clear guys
I
Don't I didn't think it was possible to get here. Joey's wearing camo pants and not like not like cool army camo
He's wearing like woodlands camo. Yeah, like what's good? What big game are you hunting? Huh?
I'm not hunting big game
Why are you wearing camo pants? They're comfortable
You couldn't have bought any other pattern. I did what other ones please tell me there are other camos
Like you got like one for like you know like snow camo
Urban environment camo that's dude come on no
I I just got like you you know, gray sweatpants
and like black sweatpants and then these.
Gray sweatpants, who you fool and dog?
What does that mean?
You don't remember the thing about gray sweatpants?
Oh, it's like you can see the outline of cocks
or something, and it's like,
Don't know where that came from.
Yeah, what are you talking about here?
It's just, from someone that has owned
multiple pairs of gray sweatpants.
And a cock.
I have, correct, I have owned my own cock.
Yes. You own your own cock. Yes.
You own your own cock?
Or is it just like lent to you?
No, by whom?
God.
Maybe.
But I am the owner.
It's like, it's you.
Yeah, because I can give it away.
Can you?
Yeah.
No, you can.
You can, you can loan it.
You can be like, you can.
Loan, this is yours for the next like two and a half minutes
Do what you want with it?
Everyone you said you thought you
When you thought sex lasted like 15 pumps
You know, no, you asked you said that. No, no, you said it
I don't think I said that you said like what do you think is the average amount of pumps at sex last and I said like
15 I said like 30 or something like what do you think is the average amount of pumps at sex last and I said like 15
I said like 30 or something like no way you said 30 did I say 15?
Bro, you you may have said less. I might know I didn't and I was like what are you talking?
Well, you got to remember not everyone's a fucking jackhammer like you built Goldberg of Cox. This is what
Fucking Jesus Christ. This is a this is what it is out there. That's exactly what you said at the last time.
Yeah, that's what you're saying.
I would say I've never counted my pumps.
I would say I'm in the like low 100, like 80 to 100 pumps.
That might be a lot.
All right, so maybe on a good day I'm in the hundreds.
But like low eight, all right, maybe 80s, 85.
Kind of fired by a football number.
We don't know that it's 85 though.
You're like, oh, damn, that's kind of dope.
It lines up, you're guessing.
I know.
But like, you know, we've never tested this.
Yeah.
Because I think I gave you homework to go and do it.
And you never came back and told me what your average pumps were.
Yeah, I mean, I always forget. You're not thinking about me when you're in the middle of
no, I'm not. I've ever popped into your head when you're having sex.
You? Yeah.
Literally never.
Not a single fucking time.
Am I pumped into yours?
No, not unless you were like texting me and I was like, what the fuck?
Oh, you...
What, what, you're grabbing it?
Like an old woman. What, you're grabbing it? You're like an old woman.
Oh!
What, I grabbed my titties.
I've texted you...
No, I don't know that.
I don't know that that's happening.
Oh, okay.
If someone texts or calls me to text me, though.
My mom will text me, though.
That's bad.
I've been having sex.
Why do you see your...
Just throw your phone away.
Put it face down.
Well, if it's dark, your phone lights up.
So, you're like, moths, bro, we're gonna look.
Fuck it.
Yeah, I'm like, what is that?
I was like, it's mom.
Damn.
Did you instantly like get soft?
I literally just went like, did I, no.
I literally just turned my phone over.
Really?
Oh, I would, if I saw anything or thought
of my family and any capacity, I would go soft.
That's really?
Yeah, that's weird.
I'm not thinking about my mom being there.
I remember when I was in high school.
Oh god, this is a...
That's so pretty.
Yeah, it's new year.
I remember.
New year?
New me!
Yeah, I could be more honest, right?
Right.
Yeah, I remember when I was in high school, I would like try to think of like awful things
to like last longer during sex
Uh-huh, so I'd be like fucking my family's all dying, you know dead dead cats, you know just stuff like that
Okay, I feel like
That's not normal
Because dead family is such a like, to the moon thing.
But like if anything's gonna kill the urge to fucking...
stuff.
What is that? Come.
Come, that's a shot.
Okay.
Um, I've never really done any of that.
Like thought about, oh my god, oh my god.
So what do you think about...
I think about what I'm doing.
That's exactly what I, Becca once at,
she was like, have you ever thought about someone else
during sex and I'm just like,
no, I'm just thinking about what's going on right here right now. I mean clearly right here right now right here right now
When you just said you don't I thought about my family goes up
You just told me that you know when I was in high school
I she was like with me if you ever thought about like no
I think of fucking what's going on in the mold. Yeah, what are we doing here?
You know, we're gonna fucking bush
I'm thinking of most watch and Joe fucking Jackhammer bill Goldberg over here
No one who's who's saying you Joey you are because I was like dude 15 pumps is not a lot
And you're like all right you Jackhammer it over there. You are fucking mr. Jackhammer McGee. Okay
I'm a love maker
Dude, you're probably the worst
Yeah, right I
Fuck it
You don't have the fucking ability to blow these doors. Yeah, but to
Discollision
Dude, you don't you don't have the. Dude, you don't have the fucking, you don't have the inertia.
I'd send you to the hospital.
This is a, I'm built like a fucking nuclear silo.
Big tree fall hard, Frank.
Never forget that.
What the hell?
The bigger the tree, the harder they fall.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
All right.
We'll never test this because we're not gay.
Yeah.
We're never gonna fuck each other. we're never gonna fuck each other.
We're never gonna fuck each other.
Isn't that wild?
Nope.
Seems very normal part for the course for me when you ask me that.
Isn't that wild?
Absolutely not.
No, but like, you're not gonna fuck most people.
No, I know.
That's how you didn't let me finish.
You didn't let me finish before you had your fucking smart answer.
Your smart, alcoholic answer, Bill.
Listen, hold on, I have a question.
Okay, I hope this is a clip and Joey's faces on Goldberg's body.
No, listen, I just thought about this, but you know how like, well, I have two questions.
One, are animals monogamous?
Some of them are, they say like, isn't it like,
lobsters and lobsters?
Penguins mate for life or some shit like that?
Okay, I didn't even, like,
there's fucking like chimps out there
that are just got like a hotation going on.
Oh, they got a whole thing.
So my question was gonna be like,
for the animals that aren't monogamous,
how many of you think they're banging in their lifetime?
One a day.
Really?
Gotta be, right?
I don't know.
Bro, if I'm a lion, I'm gonna go get, you gotta imagine if you're a lion and you're walking
through the pride lands.
Anytime you see a female lion, they're going after them, right?
They're just like, oh, I need to plant my seed around here and be the biggest lion. That's what they do. That's what lions do. What does it say? What did it, first
of all, let me, let me, let me ask this, what did you type into Google? And what were
the re fucking, it says, I wrote, how many monkeys do monkeys have sex with in their life?
And there's a, this is the scientific American,
whatever that is, website.
Male monkeys have more sex with other males
than females in this well study group.
So monkeys,
gay shit, gay as hell gay is
Huh 1993 reports of research is found a gay gene generated a jaw-dropping headline
I saw a jaw. I was like, I don't know what the fuck with that a jaw gaping. Yeah, jaw gaping monkey
Gay, but yeah apparently they're just like having meds gay sex damn so
like so they're switching though it sounds like listen who said this wasn't a
part of life nature you know people are sitting there and it's like oh they
choose to be gay yeah don't sound like it sounds like these chimps are out
there choosing to fucking suck the suck the life out of each other.
How many sexual partners do animals have?
That makes sense.
In the animal kingdom when it comes to mating,
promiscuity, promiscuity.
Primiscuity can't do it.
Promiscuity.
Is it?
Yes.
On the whole.
I thought it's promiscuous though.
Right.
Yeah.
I was, yeah, so I was promiscuity.
Promiscuity.
Promiscuity. Yeah. Promiscuity is the rule rather than exception. Yeah, I was yeah, so I was from from a skewity prom a skewity prom a skew
Yeah, prom prom a skewity is the rule rather than exception about 90% of mammals have multiple mates and
Cheating on social mates is observed at almost all species in fact only 3 to 10% of mammals are even socially monogamous
So you know, bro, you know that there are some like hardcore fucking frat star watching this
That is gonna cheat on their girlfriend and just be like, listen, in the animal kingdom,
like men have to fucking cheat, dude.
Like yeah, of course, of course fucking orcas cheat on each other, man.
Oh, hold on, we have a website here, Top 10 Swingers of the Animal Kingdom.
God damn, here we go.
The first one, Bonobos.
Just thought that was a website that had cool shirts.
Lenovo?
Is that the computer?
They're highly promiscuous.
What is it?
It's a primate.
A bonobo?
Bonobos.
Okay.
Then we have a bronze winged jack canna.
It's a bird.
Jack canna?
J-A-C-A-N-A.
Jack canna.
Yeah, that is.
Bronze winged sounds horny as shit.
No wonder why you do that.
Yeah, that is crazy.
They have gender-bending qualities.
Damn, so they can be boys one minute, girls the next,
they just get fucking, they can bend their dicks
into some posts, apparently.
Wow.
Spotted hyenas, that makes sense,
because they're like laughing, they're like,
they're like having the time of their lives
and everything they do, it's like, you know,
I'm not gonna do the laugh.
A bunch of drunk, uh-oh.
No, I was just reading females dominating large
groups of both male and females like the the females are like they fuck yeah
in the kaini king 40 ass ladies red jungle foul to bird it's a hand-looking thing
fuck that bird walruses there it is big walrus banger dude Barry white it what like
Because I have to do like a big just like fucking sexy ass walrus coming through just like yo first
My everything and these got those fucking big ass tusks kind of about it dude
dude To keep to keep up with these
With so much water romping the bulky bulls are equipped with a penis bone called a baculum, which extends up to 30 inches.
What a dick. That's insane. The longest of any living mammal.
Longest dick of any living mammal on a walrus? I guess I thought it was the whale Yeah, that's just the biggest that's crazy
That's crazy lions also they're fucking like crazy a line prank is this a three to three
Veerstein lines have sex though. It's kind of not sick looking. They like shake. They're like
Really? Yeah, it's like cat like felines having sex is not like it doesn't look fun
Like I would hate to be a fucking cat
Yeah, just because of the sex right is that it is that all of them?
I mean there's more but I'm not gonna what's the number one? Oh, they weren't in order
It was just like oh there was like lions and there was like I think a mouse was in there
My that's interesting to think about like how many how many like monkeys do you think monkeys are fucking in their life
You know, no, there's you, what we need is social media content
where monkeys are going up to other monkeys
but a handheld microphone like,
what's your body count?
Ha ha!
They're just like putting in another monkey's face
and they're like,
And then a fucking silverback gorilla
rips their arms out of their sockets.
Jesus, dude.
I'm kind of about that.
Yeah.
Don't you wanna see a monkey rip arms off someone?
No kind of kind of do I want to see people's limbs ill
You know what's disgusting like people when they have like
People when they get seriously injured and you could see like the meat ill
Like when people like people are like yeah who likes grotesque viscera. Yeah, like I don't like
What a weird stance like when people's like legs get covered up
Barrier whole leg off cover up this fucking disgusting injury you just
It's funny because I'm like being serious like I know you are media. It's meaty. I know don't like it. One time, this kid's Zan that I knew.
This isn't real.
So where did he got his name of Zan?
You knew someone named Zan?
Yeah.
I didn't tell you about the kids.
They were from India.
They lived in the houses behind me.
And we had like a West Side story style brawl in the alleyway.
But at least I kind of vaguely remember this.
We lined up and fought each other.
Anyway, kid's Zan.
We were playing manhunt.
And he was trying to grab home base,
which was like the pole to someone's like stoop or something.
Grabbed it, someone's hand went on top of his,
and he thought he was gonna like keep running,
but he couldn't, because someone was holding his hand down,
and he slipped and fell on his chin and the meat.
Oh, it was so meaty, and I was like,
ill put it back.
Yeah.
I was like, put that in there. You touched it? I didn't touch the shit. Well, that's what you just did and I was like, ill put it back. Yeah. Like I was like put that in there.
You touched it?
I didn't touch the shit.
Well, that's what you just did.
I was just saying.
You did the touching.
I didn't do it.
I was like saying, I'm like push it up.
Like you told that to Zan.
I'm sure he was in the fucking state of mind
to be like, you know what, you're right here.
Let me hold my chin the tango.
Okay, this right now, Zan was not happy to do his pissed off.
What happened to him?
That's a great question.
I don't know, they kind of moved away.
Zan, Omar, I forgot the other one's name.
I think it was like David or something.
What?
That one's like Zan Omar David?
One of these things is not like the other.
It's bullshit.
Yeah, that sounds like a big hit.
Yeah, the good kids.
Get them in their house, a bunch of times.
I think they're on the block from me.
I guess, but.
Yeah, well, you hear it first.
Joey wants to go and hunt the animals that have the most sex
because he's now a hunter.
I guess. I don't want to hunt any welcome to hunting Joe
This is the new this is the new thing. Would you shoot a deer? I
Feel sad
Yeah, but I'm saying would you if it was like threatening my family
And how would a deer do that? It's like they're like good like they do that like you know
You know what I'm talking about that like they lift their foot and they're like,
I'm gonna start running.
They're like, they charge up where they like hit the ground.
They're like, I'm fucking taking off.
Yeah, but what can a deer do to you?
I mean, I could kill a deer, most deer,
with my bare hands.
Not if I had a pantilers, you could hurt.
I mean, if I get out of the way
and then I grab hold of those antlers,
this thing, that's a steering wheel for a head.
This thing is dead by dawn.
Let me tell you.
I'm not even gonna like dignify a response.
Seriously, dear, dear.
I'm not talking bucks.
Things that are like fucking like six feet tall.
I'm talking like a deer runs across.
Like a doe.
Yes.
I could kill one of those with my bare hands.
I don't know that you can get a hold of it.
They're very jumpy. I
Have such good strength
If I were to get that thing in in leg scissors if I wrap my legs around this dose. What the hell are you talking about?
If I can get this thing in leg scissors. Oh, who do you think you are if I can lap? Listen if I can wrap my legs
If I can lap, listen, if I can wrap my legs around a doe's neck, it stands 0% chance. Frank, that's the hard part getting in that position.
Put a deer in my legs and I guarantee you I can kill it.
I can't do that.
I can't.
I'm saying it's hard to get a get hold of a deer, dude.
Why? They're just big dogs.
Dude, they jump over a highway.
Okay, yes.
If they're trying to run away
I'm gonna let it run away
But if it's like we're stuck in this room with a deer. It's Dunzo, dude
You know, it might kick your fucking head off now my head staying clean on my fucking about what about kangaroos?
Kangaroos might fuck me up. Yeah, dude. They might fuck me up. You got to keep a distance though
I would slap the fuck I don't think there's really you I would say the opposite
I say you need to get in close to a kangaroo
No, bro. They sit back in there too. I was't think there's really, I would say opposite. I say you need to get in close to a kangaroo.
Ah bro, they sit back in their tails,
they'll kick the fucking shit out of you.
And if they have distance, it's gonna hurt way more.
If you get in close, close game,
you know, if you're right here with them,
they can't extend their legs.
Kangaroos will fuck me up.
I don't know bro.
Especially, but like, if I-
I'll probably keep some distance.
If I just grab that tail,
I'm in a pretty good situation.
That shoulda's a spine. What'm gonna I'm gonna pretty good situation. That should
Is a spine what you didn't know that no their tails like they're spine. That's why they sit back on their tails
That's why they're able to kick
Stop I thought it was just a tail dude. What do you think they were jumping up in the air and kicking and then landing?
I thought they just had really powerful legs and and hips but Frank
How do you think that they can kick with both feet?
Magic?
I thought they could go quick back on it.
But like, no, no, they could look, it's like,
like I can jump in the air and kick both of my legs.
I'm sure that's true.
I can jump in the air and kick both my legs
and land back on my feet.
No, you can't.
Joey, yes, I can.
You can jump up, kick forward,
and then land with both feet.
Yes, I would ask you to do it,
but I don't want to run to the hospital right now.
I'm doing this.
He's gonna attempt.
I don't wanna hit this.
They're not gonna be able to see this,
if you know that, right?
I know, but I'm gonna just prove to you
that I can do it.
Okay.
Ah!
He's laughing because I proved him wrong.
I did it, folks.
I fucking did it.
You literally look like a four-year-old.
Just now, I'm not gonna lie.
My left leg hurts bad.
What?
Sorry I'm saying.
But it was saying, did I not?
Tell me I did it.
Did not like that.
Tell me I didn't just do it.
No.
He's a serious guy. Kangaroo spineine yeah, yeah, it's their tails tails spines
He's upset. He's Joey's upset because I just proved him wrong and I jumped up and kicked both my legs and then landed on my feet again
Cool kangaroos can do it so can humans
But yeah, how did this even start we started talking about the guy the stupid sweater of my lobby and like
I
Am not who I am like by definition. Yes, you are. How could you not be who you are?
You I don't know you know there's like weird like you know all you Brooklyn hipsters have like those weird brands
Like they'll wear a shirt that says hat and they're wear a hat
They'll wear a hat that says hat and they're wear a hat. They'll wear a hat that's just pants.
You're like they just they just love to do that shit. It just doesn't make sense.
Honestly, you could definitely sell that to some people in Brooklyn. I can almost
guarantee that it's a real thing already. I'm sure that's just pants. That's
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All right, Frank.
Yeah, before you say whatever the hell you're going to say, and it'll probably be stupid, I'm going to say something way smarter than he's about to say.
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Someone recently in like a cameo asked me,
they were like, hey, why don't you do the ad reads and I'm I tried and I'm not good
You could if you want I know but I can't and I don't want there you go
You know, but you're just like your business Joe like you're good at this so like why why if it ain't broke don't fix it
You know what I mean and you ain't broke
You know what I mean and you ain't broke. Oh man.
Um, anyway, I just wanted to talk about this.
I got my shoes off too. Look at me.
I know. Why do I take my shoes off every time I do this?
I just did it today because I saw you do it and I gotta say,
this is a stellar carpet.
That's what I'm saying.
Very good carpet.
I haven't heard that adjective in years. I don't mind it.
Stellar? Stellar.
Stellar.
Superb.
Don't love that one.
Supreme. Getting further from that one. Supreme.
Getting further from the point.
I think it's a really good treatment.
Yeah, I don't know, I like being barefoot.
I don't.
You ever hear the thing, it's like if you walk outside,
barefoot, you're like getting charged up.
Oh no, ground it, what's that?
You're grounding.
Like your like electricity-wise?
Yeah, like it's like grounding you.
Like you're getting electricity.
Well, if you go, yeah, if you go out barefoot because the electricity is running through your body because there's like a natural current that like runs
Yeah, but it's like yeah, and like you're getting it. Yeah, that's why you go out with sneakers
It you you're like okay because of the rubber souls
Yeah, but I like if I walk outside and I'm barefoot. I'm charging up like I can like I guess technically you can just like you're like ready to go
What if you go outside barefoot you drink a paneroleminade and you do a smelling salt
You might just fucking explode you might take off and fly. Yeah, you know
That'd be great. You ever heard the thing where it's like if if you like get
Your hands dirty and like dirt it like releases like
What is the one the good one in your like the neurotoxin in your body, like serotonin,
something like that, it releases it into you,
it makes you happy.
If I take dirt and I go like this,
if you get a box of dirt, or if you go into a front yard
and you just start digging and you get dirt in your hands,
it's like your body is like so happy.
I do soil in my hands.
I like the white parts of soil.
You know, in potting mix? It's racism. Feels like so happy. I do like soil in my hands. I like the white parts of soil. You know, and like potting mix.
It's racism.
Feels like it is.
I guess it is.
I guess.
Yeah, because the other parts are good too.
Just as good as the white parts.
Yeah, I said that.
But no, I like having, like when you, like my mom would,
what's that called when you switch a plant?
You put it in a pot it,
when she was repotting a plant,
but you have that fresh soil that's kind of like,
it's like light, and airy, and fluffy.
It's like a browning, almost.
It's like a cake, dude.
And I just love going like that.
I do too.
I also like kind of feeling roots.
Like when you put, like when they pull the plant out
and like the dirt like falls off the bottom
and then it's just like a dang little root.
And it's like chunks, it's chunks. All about it. Like the chunks that fall and hit the the bottom and then it's just like the dangles and the ruse.
And it's like chunks, it's chunks.
All about it.
Like the chunks that fall and hit the ground and you're like, I like the chunk.
I'm a dirt for some reason.
That makes a lot of sense.
I used to dig a lot in my front yard when I was young.
I do.
I actually oddly enough really remember that.
That we used to dig in my front yard.
Not me, you.
Like you were a big, like you dug.
I like to dig.
And I remember you always had like dirty hands.
No, this is not a bad thing.
This is not a bad thing, but like,
it's like such a like a kid thing for their to be like dirty.
It could be like dirty.
And like you would always have dirty hands
whether it be from playing basketball
or just digging in your front yard like a fucking mere cat.
I did dig a lot for some reason.
I like to look at worms.
I don't like to touch them, but I like to see them.
And I like to see them like make their way through the dirt.
When they do that weird worm thing,
where they squish their body,
and then they make it longer,
and they go into something.
It's like a penis, dude.
Like how does it do that?
You ever seen a blood worm?
What's that?
Google that bitch.
Does it like red?
It spits up red vomit on you,
and it has copper teeth.
Yeah!
Bro!
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah dude.
Ew dude.
And it has like real?
It has like copper teeth and it's like,
this looks like you're done.
This literally looks like a cock.
Let me see it.
Why do I, why, what?
This looks like a cock but the,
but the tip of the cock has teeth.
That's not the tip of a cock.
Joy, what is your dick?
I mean, it doesn't look like that.
What is your dick?
That's made way more red.
That is way not my dick.
But like a, yeah, because you're brown.
But this is like pink, dude.
I can have a bit of a pink dick.
You don't know my dick.
I do know you're dick.
Yes.
Yeah, these are disgusting, dude.
Can they kill?
Dude, they have those teeth.
Look at those teeth.
Yeah, but they do.
You have to see a video of them spitting out.
What do they do?
They like spit up and they like get them,
they like extend their mouths to like show their teeth
and they suck them in.
It is, I guess it's like a dick, a worm.
Yeah, dude, why don't we eradicate this?
I think it's like, it's like a big part
of like swamplans and stuff like that.
Give a fuck, fuck this thing.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, you ever seen the people that go to beaches
and like pour sand on like the shoreline
and then they get this worm that's like this big, dude?
No.
I used to, oh, speaking of digging,
I used to do that a lot too.
I would go to the beach and I would look for sand crabs.
Oh, the little sand, what do they call sand dollars?
The little, the little sand crabs.
Just said it, sand crabs.
Just said it, sand crabs.
Sand fleas.
Nope.
What's a sand crab?
It's a thing.
It's at the beach.
It's got little feet.
It's like a crab.
It's like, it doesn't look like a
crab though but they call them sand crabs I think they're called sand fleas ill but I
would dig and I would find them and they're like afraid of the light they're like
vampires so they're like no no no and they try to go back in they did quick
they did quick those things go really fast They do and how do they like live down there like there's nothing down there
What do they eat exactly the fuck sand? I don't know dude if there was an animal that ate sand I'd go to the beach be a fat cat
What if I if there if I was an animal and like my whole diet was sand. Oh, I'd be I'd be the happiest fucking person in the world
Let's go to the beach live your whole life free food
What a weird thought that that is honestly we say a lot of weird stuff on the show, but that is strange
It's weird that I like to I like to hold those I haven't held one in a while
But I do like to hold those no little legs are like kicking a little yeah, and like usually that would gross me out
For some reason when I was younger like sand crabs. I was just cool. How do you feel like if if there were a
coffin full of worms now I don't know oh worms
I'm more inclined to do it with worms because they don't have feet shit What feet is what I'm grossed out cockroaches? Fuck no god god? I can't know aunt aunt
No, Greg and Ann yo you could do that if you want to but I'm serious
They were like I would be very mad.
I would be very mad if you guys were like,
we're gonna prank him with a cockroach.
Like I would be furious.
What if we just like taped off this,
like all of the orfuses in this room
and put you in this room and just threw
boxes of cockroaches in here.
I'm kicking the window.
I'm like I'm kicking the window and it's not happening bro.
Ah, you'd be alright. No. Yeah, you'd be
I don't I don't like that shit you would you would do that though like let's say it was like fear factor
Right and we were on it you put me in a box and you just fill it with cockroaches. No problem really not a single
What about if it was like your head in a glass case and they just like poured them on your head? Yeah, whatever dude. What about spiders?
What kind of spiders?
Who cares? Yeah, definitely kid. What about spiders? What kind of spiders? Who cares?
Yeah, definitely care.
Daddy long legs, don't give a shit.
Now if you're telling me you're putting me in,
it's like all tarantulas, then we got a problem.
Yeah, those are rancies.
Because those got teeth, big teeth.
Well, they're not gonna bite you.
They're just gonna touch you.
Oh, they're not okay.
Oh my God, I can't think about it.
I can't even think about it.
I wouldn't even be able to be in the room.
My punishment on fear factor would be to watch someone do it. Like, I'd be like, I can't even about it. I can't even think about it. I wouldn't even be able to be in the room. My punishment on FearFactor would be to watch someone do it.
Like, I'd be like, I can't even watch this.
That would be all right.
Listen, we're getting off topic here.
I don't know if you saw this, but the New York mayor.
What's his name?
Eric Adams.
Eric Adams did say Ed.
I did say Ed.
This is all mayor, Ed.
Gomez Adams.
What? The Adams family. May of Ed. Gomez Adams. What?
The Adams family?
I said Ed.
I know.
Who are you talking about?
I'm just making a joke like Gomez Adams.
Really nailed, Joe.
Well, nailed.
We're gonna do it.
It's in the air.
I'm shaking the cops.
New York Mayor Eric Adams did an interview with Pixel 11,
which is like a news outlet here in New York City, and gave the most insane answer. Someone asked him like,
what would you, if you could use one word to define New York?
What would you use?
He also used a paragraph.
He said, well, no, he said, New York.
That was his death, what is that?
His short answer was New York.
And he said, New York. New York said, And he said, And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said, And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said, And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said, And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said,
And he said, And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said,
And he said, And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said,
And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, And he said, and he said, And he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and heo you and he.
Thank you. He's good. Thank you. He goes. New York.
It's the place where one day.
I'm going to. I know you want to get the exact quote, but I'm going to I'm going to frame it in the way that makes it sound like crazy as he goes. One day you could
be celebrating someone opening a new business the next day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no He's like, you know why New York's cool? You know why it's awesome? Could be a terrorist attack. Could be either 9-11 or a great day.
You could be walking down and then, I don't know,
1,500 people just perish.
Could be like that.
It could be cool.
What a colossally, now listen.
I guess we are being a little hypocritical.
We have openly talked about 9-11.
We're not the mayor of New York, we're doing idiots.
We're talking about podcasts, Frank.
It's so different.
Do you understand? I'm not. 9-11. We're not the mayor of New York
with Duiddy, it's we're talking about podcasts Frank. It's so different. Do you
understand how it like you are not selling it the way you think you're selling it.
It's be like it could either be something wholesome and community driven.
Like someone celebrating the opening of a new family run business, or an insane terrorist attack.
The biggest American tragedy.
In recent years,
it's like, what is going on here?
Where are you saying?
And then he went on to say,
the next sentence is like,
this is the ending of his answer.
This is a very, very complicated city,
and that's why it's the greatest city on the globe.
Well, absolutely wild.
Isn't a complicated city, yes.
Did you have to drive home the biggest terrorist attack
on human soil?
If you're not counting, it's so funny.
You could, on US soil, I should say.
He's, you could experience everything.
You could experience everything.
Look at that hot dog, bro.
Walking the park.
A hot dog on the corner.
See in the ball drop in Times Square.
Oh, Samo bin Laden getting men to drive planes
into the trade center and ate in the mall.
Two iron eagles hitting the fucking.
Come on, dude.
What impossible conspiracy that George Bush,
the own government sabotaging New York City could be.
It is such a, like, he he's also let's let's also
Call it how we see it. He he is also undergoing a federal investigation. So yeah, the guy's under investigation by the FBI
No one's correct like you know like dude. Oh my god. What like this was new York
It's such a great city. You can get a hot dog
You could experience it you first New York City hot dog.
Or it could be a guy driving through the gate parade and kill on a couple of people.
You never know you're gonna get.
That's like legitimately.
And I hate to make like, I'm not making light of this, but like, that's like someone
advertising Las Vegas is like, anything can happen in Las Vegas.
Even in insane shooting, like, what are you doing?
You can see the jab walkies,
or you can get shot at a concert.
It's like, what?
This is not happening to me.
This is not happening to me.
This is not happening to me.
This is not happening to me.
This is not happening to me.
It's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like,
dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude, it's like, dude,? What is, like, it is just like,
oh my god.
People don't like Eric Adams.
I don't know enough about him,
but not a good, you know,
can ride the subway or car bomb.
Ah!
Well, like what's going on?
You know, like people should start
realistically like advertising their travel destinations
based off of the
way that he's trying to sell New York. It's an incredibly complicated place.
That's a very strange way to put it.
That's that's so weird. Talk about the-
So many things you could say. Talk about the absolute just fucking culture pot.
Oh, it's a melting pot. There's so many restaurants and places you can go and-
And there's part-
Yeah, exactly. Yes, yeah. That's like he's saying on that
Somebody's like again, it also smells like P.P. When they're homeless people. It's like you don't need to be experienced a homeless man
Jerk and he's cocking funny on the st. Incredibly complicated. It's complicated. You could might
Complicated after just
Oh, stop, do it, complicate it after just... I'm just embarrassed.
Listen, he's not wrong.
This is a complicated city.
It absolutely is a complicated city for multiple reasons.
I don't think you should lead with 9-11.
Just don't.
Don't.
That should be number 809 on your list.
Listen, for any people watching this that might run for office one day,
whatever, however you are going to be politically involved,
let me give you the smallest, the smallest,
pinch of advice, pinch, baby, dick, piece of advice.
Don't open up with whatever the worst tragedy is by your play. Don't be like, ah!
You know, fucking New York, home of the son of Sam, baby.
Like, don't do that. Home of the son of Sam.
You know, like, come on.
Man, shout out to Eric Adams, man.
East Palestine, Ohio. Come here for the train to railman's. Leave immediately after.
The fuck is that? Maybe you should watch some fucking news
Every now and then I prefer not to watch the news
Yeah, it being kidnapped people being set on fire. Well either you're gonna watch it and learn about it there or fucking Eric Adams
I'll tell you about
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Here we go. Back to it. Back to the work. Back to the work. Back to work.
Kind of wanted to end this thing. Maybe not end, but like this thing, this thing that we're doing. This thing right here. This thing right
here. There was an article that came out that apparently Gen Z, a lot of you guys, that's
you guys, suffer from menu anxiety. What? I've heard about this.
Menu anxiety when it comes to dining out
with many too scared to order their own meals.
I've heard of this and this is a thing
that like I remember from when I was younger
that like my brothers had.
They were afraid to order?
They would be like that order for us.
Great, a lot of the places we would go to
were like Spanish restaurants.
Obviously, I didn't know what the fuck I'm doing.
So yeah, but like I've heard of, I've fucking seen people that have this where like they Spanish restaurants. I was here like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. So yeah, but like, I've heard of,
I've fucking seen people that have this,
where like they go out and they're just like,
I think I'm gonna take, just order for me.
Really?
I know people that are like, like, I'll order,
I know like, I'll just do that.
Cause I guess-
But that's different.
I think that's just, that's just like,
you hear something good and it's like,
oh yeah, all right, yeah, just that.
But like every time they do it.
But I think it's like, like an anxiety like they don't want to be spoken to
really what like
Guys
Or your fucking food one of the one of the foundation like
Parts of going to a restaurant is having to talk to at least one person. Yeah
The person in your food order
Menu anxiety. I just don't understand. I can understand if the person is like,
you know, like, what's that restaurant? It's like a chain. Oh, Dicks last resort.
Remember that place? They had them in like Vegas. Hey, man, I've never been to a
Dicks last resort. Listen, I've never been to, but I've never been to. That's,
that's a weird way of putting you were to. You were to many years ago. I've never been to that's that's a weird way of put you were to you were to many years ago
I've never been either but it's like the restaurant where like the gimmick is like the waiters and waitresses are all just like complete assholes
Oh, yeah, they call you a bitch or something don't put like a hat on you that's like you know comes too fast or something like that
Uh-huh, which is a wild concept. I do like that idea for restaurants. I would be
The owner of that company in a week.
Yeah, you would probably have some people walking out.
But it's like, if it's like a restaurant like that
where they have a gimmick and it's just like
uncomfortable for you, which one don't go there.
But two also, just go, just talk, just say what you want.
All you have to do is just say, this is what I want.
There might be a follow up question, how you want to cook, but it's not that complicated.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
The fact that Gen Z is having menu anxiety
is kind of crazy to me, like just order your fucking food,
where I do understand that there's some menu anxiety
as like ordering wines or something like that,
because I don't know how to pronounce any of these.
So I have to be like, you just go this.
That one. That one.
I love that one. Like I literally, like, have to be like, you just go this. That one. That one.
I love that one.
Like, I literally, like, and you're like a kid.
It's like, I love that it's become like a thing now.
Like, we've gone out to, it's more offensive
to try and pronounce it, right?
I would say so, whereas like, let me get
the shuffle goal photo.
Yeah, and they're like, and they'll say it back to you
completely different.
Like, so that one, you're like, yes, has to be, I guess.
Yes, it is.
I don't know, I trust you. But it's just funny because like it's also now like it was probably a very real thing
Like the wine tasting thing at the beginning of a meal
We're like they give it to you and you do the you know and the taste it like yes, okay
Yes, I'm very good. Okay. I'll take the bottle
But like now I feel like places do it and most people that do that just aren't gonna take it anyways
Like even if it tastes like dog shit.
But you're fucking, you're annoying with that shit.
Because when we went to dinner not too long ago,
he was like, oh, he's really gonna try
and you were making it a whole spectacle.
Like let's just go through the motions.
I was making it a spectacle.
Not the person that was like, mm, okay.
A little, little, little, little, little.
No, I could say, drink it and you went,
check the legs, that's what you said. In an Italian restaurant, I said, check I drank it and you went check the legs. That's what you said in a rush and an Italian restaurant
I'm like check the legs. You didn't check the legs. I'm like shut the fuck off. Oh forget me for making jokes and having fun
Joey this is what all right, you know what now the fucking gates are open here comes the flood you're ready
Hope you got your arc. They're floodgates. Well, whatever
Joey when we go out, he becomes so like,
I am dad, you're embarrassing me in front of everyone.
You're embarrassed.
We went to a studio's dinner not long ago, okay?
Joey very kindly, graciously did a studio's dinner.
Thank you for that, by the way.
Just, I wanna make sure I say that before
I absolutely eviscerate you here. That was very kind. Good time. I have a comeback.
Go ahead. Joey does the whole like you're embarrassing me. Oh, Frankie, they can hear you.
Oh, like we're having a good time, dude. We're standing out of studios. We put the fun
in fun. You know what I'm saying? Like we know exactly how to party
because we're good fun fucking people.
Joey becomes, when he's out with us,
it's all like, mm, you're embarrassing me.
Blu-bblu-bblu.
No, so at any point, did I say you're embarrassing me?
No.
But you act like it, you act like this.
Shhh.
Oh, mm.
That's what you do.
I'll tell you why.
Okay. I'll tell you why he's saying that. We were there, mind you, Shh! Oh, mm! That's what you do. Okay!
I'll tell you why he's saying that.
We were there, mind you, this place is not a very big play.
It wasn't big.
And also wasn't very loud.
Oh, there was a lot of loud music playing.
A lot of loud music.
There was a lot of loud music.
There was loud music.
There was loud Christmas music.
We're a group of seven, or what a seven or eight,
or whatever the fuck it is and
There's like talking and shit. So we're louder than most people are on the date. It's one two minutes
Like I like like they're like you know doing that. I don't think so we're loud already
Frankie is now yelling from corner to corner of the table is going something about clapping cheeks
Sun about yeah, what's it clapping cheeks and like oh no talking about sex most of the other people at the tables are probably doing the same thing just
Lowly sorry you Brooklyn the thing are you Brooklyn weird? I was on fucking openly joke about stuff
Clap and she's screaming clapping cheeks in a restaurant so we get so he gets so embarrassed like and it wasn't just me that you did this
You did other people to fucking oh, okay
Because they're doing the same thing. They're sure we're having a good time. We're having a good time Joey
You know and Joey gets a wine bottle. He's like
Let me get the art you ordered a glass of orange wine
I wanted to put my head through the window. It was good. It was it looked pretty good
I'm not gonna lie like like you do you do, you got, you got like,
you get it in bearish.
Because I don't,
because, and I will admit that I do,
I don't get like that,
but like, I don't like being the loudest people
in a restaurant.
I agree.
And we're not always allowed to be the same.
So when you're screaming about clapping,
and like, that's another thing.
I don't mind being loud at a restaurant
as long as it's not like,
what's the word I'm looking for like Ron she I guess
Obscene because like there's like a little old lady next to us and you're talking about clapping cheeks
You know who's probably the happiest person that night the little old woman that was reminiscing about fucking, you know
Gerald Ford clapping her cheeks back in the first model 3, okay?
Everything was a good time. She was probably so excited
Everything was a good time. She was probably so excited
Whoever Gerald Ford Henry Ford my Gerald Ford was like a president Yeah, whoever it on metal
Doesn't matter. That's funny. Um, it was a good time. It was a great good time
I had a good time, but we didn't have many anxiety. We all ordered. Yeah, we are. Oh, yeah
I just I I also like ordering.
I do too.
Like I like doing, like, that's why I said,
I was like, you know, can I just do apps?
Cause like everyone will just eat whatever.
Yeah, I just, I don't, I don't feel that order anxiety.
And I guess I would have to speak with someone
that does to see why.
But then listen, I am fully sympathetic to people
that suffer from anxiety disorders and any capacity.
But like, if you have that type of anxiety,
what are the half-chicken and shut up though, come on.
But like why put yourself in that situation?
Like, it's not like it's like an absolutely ridiculous thing
that us boomers are holding onto,
like, you in interaction, you must order.
But like, that's a pretty fundamental part
of any dining experience is having to at least say hey, I want this yeah
What's the well? I don't even know what the alternative is but the alternative is putting it on like have you been to like a chilees or something?
No, I guess not I don't see if I've ever been to chilees I've been, Chile's they put like a tablet at your table
and you just order on the tablet.
I don't hate that.
I don't hate it either,
but like, I don't want that to be the norm.
Not.
They're taking our jars.
Targarder!
But I also like,
you know, you strike me as I like,
what's good, I do.
Frankie takes the menu,
he's probably,
I could just picture you like, the menu's just what about you and you're like what do you like what's
good I I will say this also if you're between items here we better be between
two items yeah if you're there like I'm between these three what are you saying
and also also either commit to the specials or don't yeah like don't do this whole like
Mmm, but that like either you hear a special. You're just like yes or
Don't also you got questions about the specials you better be ordering a special
Yeah, don't ask if you hear a special and you have a soon
Question about it. It's yours. It's getting you're getting you have to
and one question about it, it's yours. You're getting it.
You're back to y'all.
I'm with you at that.
You're asking questions about the specials.
You're a bad-ig at it.
Yeah, because if you go, no, you're not
going to get any new information about the special
that you didn't get in its original description
that is going to deter you from getting it.
There's nothing.
I hate it, dude.
I hate that so much.
I fucking hate that.
I am the type, though, I'll say like,
I'm stuck between the stake and the salmon. What do you think is better?
I'm definitely, but I think that's okay.
That's fine, but if there's three items
that you're stuck between, and if you do that,
if you do what I just said, and they say,
the stake is probably a little better, more people like it,
and then you go with the opposite choice.
You just, I will get up and leave.
You want to hear yourself.
I legitimately, you wanted to hear yourself talk,
murder yourself in the sleep.
I will literally get up and leave.
I can't, I can't.
Like, especially when it comes to like,
at restaurants with like, waiters and stuff,
it's like you have all these questions
and you just, once you say,
I'm stuck between these two things,
you've relinquished the power of all time.
You're locked in.
They are choosing what you have for dinner
Yes, and you fucking are gonna 100,000 percent. That's it. We're not arguing here. We agree I know I'm just fired up
I'm fired up to between the steak and the chicken. They're like chicken. They're like I'll have to steak
I would have been like yeah, I would have lost it too. I really can't pick these rib sound delicious
But also the Talapia and it's like well, you know the ribs are our favorite here
You know it's like you know what give me the burger. Oh my god. You're done dude. You're so don't listen not even a joke
You're so done
Also when people are like how's that cooked?
I got Bobby fly over here on a kitchen all you spend
$20,000 a year on Uber Eats and now you're asking how it's cooked. We interested eat the fucking thing
It's shut up. It doesn't rest around etiquette is so weird because your friend that will literally eat a carrot off the floor
Goes into a building and then wants to know exactly what kind of oil is used to fry their burger
My god just go in or the people
Listen, I'm understandable about like substitutions with certain things but I recently went to do I went to a
birthday dinner a couple months ago and it was a prefix menu and someone was
just like all right I'm gonna do the rib-eye steak and they're like oh that's
not on the prefix menu it was like I really want the rib-eye steak and they're
like I would have lost and it gets worse it gets so much worse it was like, I really want the rib-by-stake. And they were like, I would have lost. And they were like, listen, it gets worse.
It gets so much worse.
It was like, oh, but that's not, like, sorry.
Like, the chef created the prefix menu,
and they were just like, but I want, I'm dining here.
Oh, no.
I want the, and they were like, they were like, no, sorry.
And they're like, all right, you know what, whatever.
I won't get anything.
Or they were like, so that's what they did.
And then the waiter came back, boycott. Listen, the waiter came back 20 minutes later. It was like, you know what, whatever, give me, I won't get anything. Or they were like, so that's what they did. And then the waiter came back, boycott, listen,
the waiter came back 20 minutes later, it was like,
you know what, I spoke to the chef for a bit of a surcharge.
You know, we are gonna give you the, the, the, the,
the rib-eye steak, you know, and they were like, oh my God,
thank you so much, I really appreciate it.
The rib-eye steak came, they didn't take a single bite.
A, Joey, I wish this was a joke. You took it. No, no, they took it home, but they didn't take a single bite Joey I wish this was a joke you took it. No, they took it home
But they didn't eat a single bite of this rib-eye steak
Would have lost my mind I would aided at the fucking table. I would aided like
You better fucking eat that now, dude. I couldn't believe it and it's funny because I was talking to my buddy
Atthward I was like that was a bitch my bitch much right like that was a bitch much
That was a bit over the top and they were just like no, I thought that was okay
And I was like that's a wild dude
Also, this is kind of like what I was saying before but when people ask questions about an item and they're like how many
You know of the ribs to do that what it's like. Oh, it's like this and whatever. It's like cool
I'll have something completely different. I'm like
Doesn't make sense
Serious serious. Oh guys. I'm gonna give you another piece of advice those politicians
I'm giving you another piece of advice. Oh my god if you ask about a menu item
The eight you have an 80% chance likelihood of getting it and if you go with the 20%
It better be something insane you better like it. And if you go with the 20%, it better be something insane.
You better explain yourself to it if you're gonna change.
If you're like, oh, what's it, can I have this in this?
And then it's like, they're like, oh, it's cooked like this or whatever.
You better have an explanation if you're gonna switch.
You better be like, oh, I don't really, you know, you can't just be like, well, I'll
have that.
And listen to fuck up, Ratatouille.
If you're gonna order something
and then ask questions about where the cheese is from
or something like that, just don't get it.
Bro.
Just don't get it.
You know what's even worse?
Trust the restaurant, dude.
What's wrong with you people?
I'm afraid you're afraid of order
that when you do order, it's not the...
I can't, I really can't.
I've been at restaurants with Aspo before and we get our food
And then he finishes it and then he holds up the plate and he goes
Where do you guys get these? I'm like when do you open up your restaurant?
What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you gonna do realistically with that information go home and order a white plate because it's not but it's not white plates
It comes on these like very irregular shaped things that are like it looks like rock or whatever the fuck and I'm like
Even if they are gonna tell you what are you gonna even start eating dinner up on that?
Yeah, what are you gonna do? What are your plates on Amazon like a normal person? Yeah, no
I love I love when people are like so enamored by like the silverware and they're just like where did you get
Restaurant Depot I love when people are so enamored by the silverware and they're just like, where did you get restaurant depot? That's the answer.
Do whatever you think you're gonna do with that information.
I hate that so much, dude.
I mean, listen, you had a drink out of a fucking bird's ass
the other day.
That was crazy.
That's a cool drink, but you're never gonna get that glass.
No question. You're never never gonna get that glass.
No questions.
You're never ever gonna get that glass in your whole life.
I won't ask.
Shit.
Well, I may ask like, or honestly, if I look at the menu and I don't know something, I will
take on my phone and cool.
Like, I'll be like, I don't even know what the fuck that is and I'll Google it to make sure I don't know.
Oh, like, instead of being like, what do you shut those e-gong fault phones?
Yeah, there's no way I'm doing that.
Oh, no, I won't Google want one.
No, I know.
It was an example. it was an example.
It was an example.
It's like, oh, it's made with a certain type of cheese.
But like, though, it doesn't say cheese.
It just says the word.
I don't know if you're like this, but like, let's say, you know,
there's like a lamb dish on a menu.
And it says, okay, there's lamb, potatoes,
and then there's like some stuff
that you don't really know what it is.
People who like lamb, some people who like lamb
will look at that and be like,
I wanna order that, but I don't know what these are.
And I'm like, you already, like the main thing is there.
The other things are probably sticks and stones.
Yeah, yeah, you just get it.
It's a seasoning, like it's not safe.
It's really not gonna make too much of a difference.
People, I have to say, as a human race,
we have failed restaurants.
We have failed because we have just gone in
and just absolutely butchered them to all hell.
I hate it, I absolutely hate it.
I don't, I just realized how much like,
there's so many ways that I could be completely uncomfortable
by the people I'm with at a restaurant.
And also, the people that are just like,
how's the fish?
It's fish, It's fish.
It's good.
It's gonna be exactly like fish.
You can't really do too much to make it not fish.
Yeah.
Just, yeah.
There's only been one time.
The only question that I will ask is,
is that enough for the table?
Yes, yes, exactly.
Because like, should we get two of these things
or like, you know, there's a bunch of us,
like should we get two of these things or like you know, there's a bunch of us like should we get two of these or whatever.
Like that's fine, but don't,
what all these other fucking questions.
Also gotta say, sending food back.
No, don't even bring that phone over me enough.
Don't even bring that phone over me enough.
I rather get Sal Manella and kill over
and die in the bathroom of the restaurant.
I'm not sending it back.
To a super, super, super specific degree.
But like, for instance, I get my steaks cook medium rare if it comes a little undercooked or a little overcooked
I'm eating it right it's okay
But if it comes and it has a used condom on top then I'll send it back. Yeah, that's understandable
But if there's a human finger
I may just move it out of the way. I may just move it out of the way I need it
Because I just I just I'm not gonna I'm not sending it back be careful, dude
There's fingers. Yeah, you never know. There's some places recently
That have been in the final like weird like McDonald's is under like someone filed a lawsuit against McDonald's for finding a crack pipe in their food
Fire someone in like New York and that like you know the salad place chopped
Uh-huh, they found a finger in theirs. Well, I mean they're chopping all day. I'm telling you right now That's why I heard someone in like New York and that like you know the salad place chopped.
They found a finger in theirs.
Well, I mean they're chopping all day.
I'm telling you right now,
if I find a finger in my food, I'm rich.
I'm the, I'm not scared.
I am so happy, dude.
I'm eating it, I'm biting the finger
and I'm suing hard.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, a thousand percent.
I'm taking a bite out of a finger.
I'll go to the hospital,
get whatever pill cocktail I need to make sure I'm okay.
But your boy, if I go to a chain restaurant
and there's fingers in my food,
I'm praying for a finger these days.
Come on over, I'm throwing a party.
Yeah, I'm praying for a finger these days.
Finger in the popcorn chicken.
Anyway, we're gonna find you Frank.
F-alvers 88-5 on Twitter, X, whatever the hell hell it's called the Frank Galvers and all other forms of social media and then go check out the base
Vinyard on all forms of social media
Yeah, that's all I got you guys can go follow me at Joe Sanigato go follow the show at the base mirror on a
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patreon.com slash the base me art and go to the base mirror dot com and
If you're coming to those first three shows, fill out that audience form.
And yeah, just like let us know what shows you're gonna be.
That's gonna be a lot of fucking fun.
Can't wait to see you guys out there.
And we'll see you guys next time.
you