The Basement Yard - #434 - Partying With The Miami Aliens

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. How's it going? I'm a chief today. No, no, no. Come on. You can't culturally appropriate at the start of the episode. I know. This is when people are actually watching. Stop, stop, stop. I got a burp. Not burp. I got a what's it called? I hope not die. No, no, no. Gas? What the hell? Hiccup. Hiccup. Oh, I thought I was a little worried there for a second We're both black right now. Well, no, we are never we are wearing black. We're not black. I'm not black I'm actually white. Well, that's not what you told me what like you said like what I say
Starting point is 00:00:37 What is color and stuff like that? Those are words that you can that they came out of your mouth at one point is color Yeah, you said you don't see color. Let me ask you a question. If I ask you to, I ask you that question, what would you say? I say, what is color? What do you say? Like in what sense though?
Starting point is 00:00:52 Like in a skin tone sense? No, just color. What is color? Yeah, what is it? It is shades of different pigmentation. I don't know. Pigmentation? Yeah, cause that's what colors are they're
Starting point is 00:01:05 just a collection of pigments pigs pigs little pigs big big fat pigs just a fat pig I don't know I don't know if we could say that after you just refer to us as black boys no I didn't say that didn't you I said we're both black oh yeah that definitely not okay we're wearing black is what I that is correct yes I told you to take that off too when you walked in I was wearing this first And I said I was like take that off and you just refused I didn't refuse. I forgot is what happened Classic realize Joey very forgetful. Yeah. Oh very very forgetful. Yeah, but in the same breath Bread bread breath breath breath. Why do you say breath? Isn't that a thing bread one same breath? Breath? Breath? Breath?
Starting point is 00:01:45 Breath. Why'd you say breath? Isn't that a thing? Bread? One last breath? One last breath. Spell breath. B-R-E-A-T-H.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Spell breathe. With an E at the end. Okay, alright, I was gonna try to catch you there. And what with, how would I? In the same breath. Yeah, very organized. Am I? To a degree.
Starting point is 00:02:07 But like you're also clean and like you're like not clean. You're kind of a dirty bitch. No, no, no. I'm a dirty bitch. Yeah, like you've gotten more organized in terms of like you're like living quarters. Like you used to be a dirty little bitch. What, when?
Starting point is 00:02:23 Bro, I always use this example. When you lived in Long Island City, you had like a knee-high, like- Knee-high. Can you let me- Ha ha ha ha. Your bedroom had like low ceilings and there was like a knee-high like storage closet
Starting point is 00:02:38 that you could crawl in that was filled with clothes. But not folded, they were just in there. And nice stuff too. Yeah. I remember being like, I remember I was like hiding in there for some reason. And I remember. What?
Starting point is 00:02:51 You were hiding in my closet? Yeah. When? Why? Better question. Forget about when. Why? You knew I was there.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Let's be very clear. So that's not hiding. You wanted me to record you. Ha ha ha. Why were you hiding in my closet? So that's not hiding. You wanted me to record you No, so there was a remember the wrestling podcast that I used to do yeah, we recorded downstairs Yeah, and there was an episode where like I was it was after I got let go at Target And I was trying to make fun of the fact so I was like saying like oh, I was coming back and it was full-time coming back Oh, yeah, and I surprised them like as we were recording, I was recording on the phone and I went downstairs
Starting point is 00:03:28 and I was like surprised I'm back. Oh, yeah. That's why you were hiding in my closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there was a lot of stuff in there. There was a lot of weird stuff too. I donated so many clothes when I moved out of that apartment. I basically restarted my wardrobe.
Starting point is 00:03:42 I like threw everything out. Are you like, what, because I am not like that. I throw on to wish I have zero jokes here. I have shirts from high school What why because they're they mean something to me. What do they mean? What are the shirts? I want to hold on a certain shirt so I can give them to my children when they become of age They're not gonna wear them. What whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa think about if your Colombian dad try to hand you down of some fucking multi-colored polo you're gonna wear that I Might honestly I might I might have at a certain point in time You think my dad was handing that down to me. No he was handing down stubbornness and being a fucking smelly bastard. Oh Yeah, he handed those down to you. That's for sure. sure come on take your stubborn and you smell like a piece of shit
Starting point is 00:04:27 Jesus Christ! How's everyone doing today? No! You can't do that! What did you get? You bastard! Do you think you're more like your mom more like your dad or more like a common effusion of both? From what, I'll start first. From what I know of your parents, I think you're more like your mom. You definitely have some things of your dad. I think like music tastes, like your dad was pretty eclectic musically.
Starting point is 00:04:56 No, he wasn't. But he liked like a lot of different types of music. He liked classic rock and that's it. Really? Yes. You sure about that? I don't think he's ever listened to another genre ever. You sure? Yeah. I don't know. I vaguely remember him like in other stuff. Like classical, like I remember him like in piano stuff. Yeah. What do you think? I'm coming home and he's got the radio on listening in a box. I don't know. No, it's not happening.
Starting point is 00:05:20 He's like, oh, Beethoven's fifth. Speaking of my dad. Oh, Jesus. He texted me the other day Good old good old text from Joe. Dude. I love when my dad texts me because he he has a flip phone So he texting he's texting me like I still texting like the three one two three one two three Yeah, so it probably took him a half an hour to conjure this up But he said hey, what do you know about mr. Beast? And I was like, oh god, and I said he's the biggest youtuber in the world Then he says Not for long keep it up dude with your face and my sense of humor and guidance
Starting point is 00:05:52 It's only a matter of time before mr. Beast becomes miss pussycat, and we will be the Lion Kings Wait first of all, how do you just randomly discover mr. Beast at the age of 60? My tears! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What does it mean? First of all, how do you just randomly discover Mr. Beast at the age of 60? Up up 60 something. 60 something, I don't know. 60 something. I could only imagine your dad's face watching Mr. Beast's just stoic like, we're putting a thousand Orbeez in my ass.
Starting point is 00:06:21 I can only imagine. And then, he not only referred to Mr. Beast where he called a miss pussy cat he's getting not only a transgender surgery of some form right also then becoming a cat not only that but he also said keep it up with your face and my sense of humor so him and his guidance is doing this who's. Your dad's guidance. He's pulling the strings now. Hold on. Now he's the CEO of the company. So now your face, all we need is your dad's sense of humor.
Starting point is 00:06:52 And his guidance. Which is what? I don't know. I remember your dad telling. Inappropriate race. Yeah, I remember your dad telling jokes years ago that I can't repeat on here. But I don't think those are going to get us very far. And then your dad's business acumen, I don't think those are gonna get us very far.
Starting point is 00:07:05 And then your dad's like business acumen? I guess, I don't know. But I love that it's only a matter of time before Mr. Beast becomes Miss Pussycat and we will be the Lion Kings. Who named him the Lion King? Who's the Lion King now? Why is, first of all,
Starting point is 00:07:22 if we're gonna be Lion King characters, I am scar a thousand percent. Yeah, right What do you mean? You're not scar. Who are you? I'm I'm fucking Simba. You're more like fucking Timon. You're zazu You're a little twink. No, you're zazu that little ass you stupid bird British bird British bird. I'm fucking he's a toucan. He's a toucan. That's a bird Joey. I know that that's a bird I don't think they have toucans in like the African plain I think they're in the jungle which wasn't that that was a toucan right I think so is Froot Loops toucan toucan Sam is his name literally in the name got it got it yeah yeah so okay you don't think I would be scar? I think realistically you're Timon I'm Pumba. Let's be honest. Let's call it how it is. Oh, that's actually I think that's a good one I mean hey Athena
Starting point is 00:08:11 shirts make a top on a boomer, you know and then it should be like mr. Bees is like he's the Mufasa in the sky What are you doing? I'm trying to think of the line. Yeah, like, what are you, are you building a poster right now? I guess I am, a shirt maybe. Or you're casting the movie. I'm trying to, you know, me, the person who has zero fucking, zero artistic ability to my name is trying to suggest to Athena, our very talented artist, what to do?
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah, probably not gonna go well. Yeah, don't talk to her, okay? Okay. Just let her do her thing, Frank. It thing so funny. I had an idea for a shirt I texted Greg he shot it down in the nicest most great way possible. He was just like Hey, dude, that's pretty niche. I like I don't think it's gonna sell pretty nice She's a good way of being like that sucks. Yeah, he was like, I don't think it's gonna set also Halloween was a couple weeks Go outside. I mean, she's
Starting point is 00:09:02 I don't think it's gonna say also Halloween was a couple weeks ago. So I don't mean cheese I don't really I don't really do it makes me Yeah, it was like a couple weeks after Halloween. I wanted you and I to do a Mortal Kombat themed shirt. Oh Yeah, it was more come at it just come out. Also. I don't eat cheese Yeah, he doesn't apparently you see the picture. I posted him with his fucking legs dude That is the fucking you put this and I couldn't stop laughing Keith texts me he goes he looks like Woody from Toy Story he's so shy he is like oh my computer I think I guess such a goodie um wait I'm sorry I just want to make sure yeah outside of Outside of Timon and Pumba. Yeah, who am I?
Starting point is 00:09:53 You maybe Rafiki fuck you fuck who the fuck wants to be Rafiki Well, he's a he's a he's an intricate character. He like is he in the mind a squash by not That was kind of a banger. I loved when he painted on the He's like laughing and yeah puts the thumb over bro That was highest fuck iconic thumb too by the way when he cracks that fruit. Oh, and then that yo first of all Yeah, yeah, yo, there's something about like some of the best cracks that's really just like yeah But he cracks it over his head like yeah, it looks pretty sick juices get all over. Yeah, it's dirty little monkey Yeah, you know Dirty little baby boy monkey. I love that shit not dude also in that movie in the Lion King when Tomo and Puma are eating the
Starting point is 00:10:39 Bugs those bugs look good Delicious when they open up the fucking have you ever seen one of those hollowed out? And he sucks a worm? That was very, very questionable. But he sucked the fuck out of a worm. And he's like, and it like, yeah. Oh, God. And then he eats the beetle.
Starting point is 00:10:55 I don't even like beetles like that. I fucking hate beetles. But I eat a beetle. You eat a beetle if it looked like that, dude. If it looked like that. If it looked like that, 100%. And he's like crunchy, but satisfying. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Kind of sad though too that they're fucking eating these animals that are dying but insects aren't they won't know souls No count those souls. They don't count. No count. No count I'm just a little I would think Of all the characters I would be I Would be scar he's got like a sex appeal to him He's got the the hot like shoulder thing. He's got the hot like shoulder thing when he's singing Be Prepared. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:27 You know how bad I wanna sing Be Prepared right now. I know that. And I'm trying not to. But you don't have any scars. Or your legs are mostly scarred. Am I legs? Am I legs? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah. My legs are mostly scarred. I have some scars. Yeah. I got a scar on my balls now because of the vasectomy. Is it a scar? Yeah, it's really fake. Where is it?
Starting point is 00:11:49 What was that? Why are you underneath them? Is it underneath? No, it's on the top. Top of your cock? No. What am I talking about? Balls.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah, balls, balls, balls. Like if you're looking at cock, so like, and you lift the cock. If you're looking at my cock and you, you know, nope. No one's using it like like that dude. It's not a lever. You're literally gonna be like this. Okay. No No, if you're looking at my if you're like looking at my dick, why did you look to the right? Well, I'm just going just because you need you can't like you need to look at it like that. Oh And then you grab one side of it Frankie and you pick it up right and then you grab the balls of it. Frankie. And you pick it up. Right. And then you grab the balls. No, no, no. And you pull it up. It's right on top. So it's it's in the space between your dig and BIM. So look be dim. Be dim. This is a dig. Yeah. And these are balls. Not drawn
Starting point is 00:12:39 to scale. Obviously. Yeah. And if you lift your penis, it's right here. A little lower. A little lower a little lower Where are the balls again? What are you trying to make me do with my I'm not trying to make you do it. I swear to God where are the balls? Also turn your hand that way then This is supposed to be easier dude if this is dim and this is balls balls What? Are you an idiot? Are you a fucking idiot?
Starting point is 00:13:09 Have you seen dick and balls before I've seen dick and ball I've seen a couple it's alright Well, I just say ball you've seen a one bald have I I don't think so It's like on the face of the balls You know what I mean So if I'm just staring at it You I mean you'd have to look pretty hard cuz I can say it's faded and you got hair and I yeah But it's it's there, you know, okay Forever and ever in amen. I think so unless I use some like vitamin E oil or something
Starting point is 00:13:40 I don't know does that helps carring cocoa butter. I think also helps does it think so you gonna butter up your balls Probably don't want to that probably that sounds fantastic. Oh, it does it. I'm not a big ball guy No, no, they're there But like if if someone to say like you can get rid of them and they would have zero effect on your life I'd do it. What yeah, they're just balls dude. Yeah, the coolest They're the worst part of the diggin bit, but. But you don't like it like a little? No. No? Definitely don't.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Not like this. A batting around? Absolutely not. Batting around? That's what this is! I know, but I'm saying like, you know, it's more like a... No, I don't...
Starting point is 00:14:15 Like someone's like dancing around gay with your balls, you know what I'm saying? I don't think anyone has ever engaged in any dance with my balls. Like a... Like that. That doesn't look fun at all. Not squishing, not squishing.
Starting point is 00:14:26 You know, just kind of like, you ever hold two like marbles in your hand and you kind of go like that? Yeah, I have it, I like it, but it doesn't mean that I want it done to me. Why not? I like marbles. You like marbles.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, marbles are cool. We're on balls though, we're not talking about. Who's going like this, like they're fucking, like an evil like fucking James Bond villain with my balls? Nobody people have done it. No people have done it There I'm fine with my balls just being completely neglected and cut off So you're just penis. That's crazy cuz you're not but you definitely not but you're not nipples Don't leave my and you're not balls. You're just penis. I'm just penis.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Penis guy. You're a penis guy. I'm a penis guy. Peepy boy baby, what's up? He's peepy boy. That's a peepy boy, you know? I'd let someone pinch my nipples or something. Let me pinch your nipples right now.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Like sexually. Yeah, when you said like you just said that right? Yeah. Yeah. But like what does it mean when you say that? Like, like come over there. Do you think are you worried at any capacity that if I start playing with your nipples you'll get horny? No. Okay. I mean I'm a pretty good nipple dialer. Yeah, but you are you though. That is correct. So I'm not I am me. Yeah, I'm just saying I Wild wild during any sexual encounter that you're gonna have someone play with your nipples. That's not wild There's wilder things tomorrow. Yeah, if you're in the middle of sexual sounds yeah, and they
Starting point is 00:16:00 She goes or he whatever Let me or he I don't know You do know I'm a straight man! I know, I do! But you never know, tomorrow you might- You're one day nipple play, the next day you're getting fucked in the butt! Maybe, I don't know- Yeah, that's crazy. Maybe. Not maybe, relax, I'm joking!
Starting point is 00:16:15 As you drink your sparkling- Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh!
Starting point is 00:16:21 Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! Nngh! No, no, maybe relax.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Yeah, no. Oh man, but so Joey, I don't know if you've seen a lot has been going on in the news lately. The segue you're choosing. Yeah. Lots of it going on in the news lately. The segue you're choosing? Yeah. Lots of it going on in the news lately. Yeah. The aliens have touched down. They are here.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yeah. They are queer. Get used to it, dogs. And they're not going anywhere. They're not going anywhere. Do you believe? So what we're referencing is, and I don't know if you guys saw a couple days ago at this point,
Starting point is 00:17:02 the mall in Miami was shut down yeah there's like a like a hundred and fifty police cars yeah a ton of police cars the whole there was like a the whole like surrounding grid was without power that day for some reason they shut down airports and wait hold on I didn't hear any of that yeah yeah yeah they shut down airports all right let's let the record show that this may be a rumor but go ahead no no, I'm pretty sure there are a lot now He's pretty sure so he was all right. Whatever whatever. This is how things happen. Oh, you think people are coming here for the news? You think people are coming to be like what are the big kind of here with the basement yard?
Starting point is 00:17:37 What do they have to report on today? You'd probably be surprised but Reportedly the airport was shut down the power grid was like without power for like most of the day and there were 15 foot gray aliens walking around. What really happened was there was a bunch of kids playing with fireworks and like rioting and fighting so they like here's the thing I am right in the middle on this because I I hope it's aliens. I do you dude Let me explain something bro 15 foot gray alien 15 foot. I don't need fucking. I don't need gray That's that's gotta hurt you let these aliens be my height your height 5 5 whatever no one's high five
Starting point is 00:18:19 I'm not okay with them just being like their short ones are 15 feet tall No, you know, that's the short ones. Maybe those are the other how do I know that? But that's feet tall. How do you know that's the short ones? Maybe those are the short ones. How do I know that, but that's what I'm saying. Like what if that's the average height for them? That's terrifying. But listen, there wasn't fucking aliens in Miami, but I will say this. If there are aliens and they touch down in the United States and the first place they
Starting point is 00:18:39 went to is Miami, I'd be like, what kind of fuck would they have? They had a good place to go. They're over there. The aliens are like, yo, we heard this shit is jumping shit is jump throwing like Klingon dollars at fucking 11 and shit like that yeah dude can be nice they did they did if give the aliens a nice table at cardboard you know what I mean give them a nice table at cardboard let them throw some money around at 11 yeah I just I will say that I'm not a big conspiracy theorist because I tend to be a little more
Starting point is 00:19:08 Like if it's something really scary, I don't want to think about it because now I'm in a place Where like I gotta think about like kids and shit like that and it freaks me out. I will say a lot of cop cars for a Riot of teenagers I will say that as well Bro, we've been in the middle of a teenage riot What you know remember that the big fight at PS2 that day? Oh yeah. Where you kicked someone in the chest like fucking Leonidas? Whoa, no one kicked anybody.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Allegedly. I never kicked a child. You were a child too. You were 17. It's alright. Was I 17? Child on child crime no one cares about. Alright fine, I kicked someone in the chest.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Kaved his chest in. He didn't know you didn't. He's alive and I don't know if he's well, but he's definitely alive. He's alive but That's a lot of fucking that's a lot of cars for a couple teenagers Yeah, I mean It's a little sus not gonna lie, right? But 15 foot aliens. I mean, I think we need to relax here
Starting point is 00:20:02 And then I saw a video on t where a guy was a woman or something I don't know but it was like The if you take the coordinates of that mall and you reverse them It's Antarctica it's in the middle of Antarctica and that's say where we get and then someone else made a video was like no It's not bro Like a portal opened up. I saw people like they were like yo listen we were running from stuff There were teenagers lighting stuff up, but I saw something that was not human I'm not saying it was an alien
Starting point is 00:20:31 But what I saw was not human and it's just like I don't I don't need to hear this shit It's Miami dude. I've seen tons of things that aren't human down there. Really? Yeah Shaking butts. Yeah, like fucking bouncing it dude. do you remember, were you with us the last time? No, you weren't there, but we were on someone's bachelor party and we were there and we were walking out of a restaurant and a fucking van pulled up and the door swung open and there was a dude who was maybe four foot 10
Starting point is 00:20:59 and he was rapping some song and there was two girls hanging out of the van shaking their asses. Could be an alien. Stepped out in the street, dapped him up. I will say you aren't wrong. If this was an alien, good place to go. Go to Miami, get some sun. Go get some sun on the South Beach. They probably get enough sun though. They could fly out of the sun. Oh, they can't fly into it. They could fly by it. Yeah, you know, you don't want to get too close to that bastard. Yeah, you know Not the worst place to go if you were an alien touching down
Starting point is 00:21:29 Go to my top three places in the US you going in the US. Yeah Definitely Miami is one of them. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah Hawaii Just you're not you're not, so you could just say it normally. You are not of any Polynesian descent as far as I know or any, you know, Pacific Island or, so just Hawaii. I used to think that people, Hawaiian people were the coolest people ever. Not that I, not that I don't think that would happen.
Starting point is 00:22:00 But I'm saying like- Now they suck! No, no, no, that's not what I mean. But I just thought that first of all I thought everyone who was Hawaiian was like now they suck. No, no, no, that's not what I mean. But I just thought that first of all, I thought everyone who was Hawaiian was like a Smolan. No, different. Because like, yeah, I was a children. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:11 So like, but you know the tattoos or the travel to like the Smolan tattoos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought like just that was Hawaiian. Like I thought I categorized that. Yeah, yeah, you thought they were all Johnny Tsunami from Disney Channel. That's what you thought.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Just say it. Yeah. But I was like, these are the coolest people ever. Yeah, I've never been, I think Davino's there right now. Yeah. He looks to be enjoying the fuck out of it. Yeah. What I hear, beautiful place,
Starting point is 00:22:35 also riddled with a lot of poverty, drug abuse, gang violence, because as a result of, you know, big white going in and just being like, oh, this is ours now. Oh, yeah, I've seen videos of, of, uh, like, Native Hawaiians being like, we don't fuck with the tourism. Yeah. It's- I've never been, so- The land has been, like, ravaged and, like-
Starting point is 00:22:56 What does that mean to ravage land? I don't really know. It's pretty s- like, you're y- you're fucking- Yeah. What are you doing, though? Like, you're taking- and you're- Ravaging? Yeah, like are you doing though? Like you're tearing and you're, ah. Ravaging? Yeah, like you're a ravager. Like you're taking-
Starting point is 00:23:09 Which is close to ravishing, which is good. Ravishing is good. I think ravaging could be good with like food. Like you do something, it's like you're taking something and you're engaging with it with a sense of like a little bit of like violence- Like greed and gluttony. I wouldn't say greed and gluttony.
Starting point is 00:23:23 I would say like violence and passion and just like emphasis, you know? Oh, like, that sounds like sex. Kinda, like you could ravage someone. Oh, vagina, you could ravage your fucking pussy in half. What you just crying show? Oh, I bring up nipples and now you're horny all of a sudden? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Yeah, but, okay, so Hawaii, Miami, I assume is on that list. What else, give me one more? It needs to be something like naturally beautiful outside of like like like you know Zion, I know you went there Mountain Zion. What's it called? I would say Colorado Colorado Colorado my top three states. Okay. Well, what if an alien went there? Would you be like don't go there, dude? That's not what we are. New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Fuck you. New Jersey's kind of crazy though, bro. I get out of the tunnel and I start driving. It's the worst place in the world. And you get, you know that, I think it's the garden state. When you get, like there's like a, it's like a 10 fucking lane highway. Yeah, and you get to the top of the hill.
Starting point is 00:24:23 And then you go over. And you can see all of New, and it's like a top of the hill and then you go over and you can see all of New Jersey And it's just industrial. Well, no, so North Northeast Jersey right next to the city is basically just all industrial But the moment you go anywhere like more inland or south it becomes like I mean you see where I live It's pretty nice. Yeah, like there's there's nice stuff I was like you though like I hated Jersey because we were getting to Jersey getting Jersey is bad It's horrible the tunnels. I will say they've gotten a little bit better, but I
Starting point is 00:24:53 Would not you're right. I would not getting to Manhattan. I would not want to show them parts of Newark, New Jersey Correct. Yeah, I also wouldn't want to show them like the fucking Staten Island either You know like them like the fucking Staten Island either You know like an alien lands on Staten Island. They're like this place sucks They probably go anywhere besides the United States. I'm gonna be probably nicer. So yeah, well, I Would I wouldn't Vegas Washington? That's nice. Oh, yeah, that's right You went out there and because it's basically Canada and like Vancouver very nice a lot of bears What if they like touch down and there's a bear and they're like, these are the people of this planet.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Go to war with the bears. We would lose that. Would we? No, bro. A gun. Bang, bang, bang. Bro, go shoot a bear the size of this room with a gun. Find me a bear the size of this room, you dumbass.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Joey, there are bears that are 12 feet tall when they stand on their hind legs why don't they stand on the hind legs in the circus when they're attacking Joey when they're fucking going at ya they're fucking galloping you dumbass when they're just like galloping bears don't gallop yes they do they run like dogs they run like dogs dogs don't gallop either they run
Starting point is 00:26:02 gallop is a it has like a style to have you seen an animal of a gals horses gallop you just said he's gallop you just said was incorrect no it was not galloping like horses gallop yes but how does that different than how a dog runs I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you right now oh yeah go to Siri go to lovely Siri right now ask her. Gallup definition. Because you can't fucking have an educated argument without the internet. You piece of shit. Yes the fastest pace of a horse or other quadruped with all the feet off the ground together in each stride. Quadruped? There were Joey you could
Starting point is 00:26:41 figure it out. I know what it means. So like Like this is what dogs are doing they're doing this This is what horses are doing that's galloping It's not at the same time boy our visual like people on YouTube watching this are getting dumber by the minute Dude, it's not it's not at the same time. You think that horses are right? That's what the definition just said you're gonna tell Mer Merriam and Webster they're wrong here? Yes. Okay. Because I've seen a horse. Horses gallop when they get, Joey,
Starting point is 00:27:10 horse gallop all four feet are off the ground at the same time. Dogs too. No. They push with their back leg, land with their front, push again with their back. I'm a running expert Oh my god ridiculous that worked There's no one here. Yeah, there isn't we do have sponsors for today
Starting point is 00:27:40 The first one being hello better help better help is this podcast is sponsored by better help Better help is online therapy if you want to sign up for online therapy you could do so with better help Okay, I have been in therapy for years. I think that everyone should be in it. It's very important and it's very useful and it's gonna just make your life better, the way that it did for me. So if you are not in therapy, I suggest you do so. And if you've been thinking about getting into it,
Starting point is 00:27:58 better help is a great way to do it because it's affordable, way more affordable than in-person therapy, which can be very expensive. I'm talking about a couple hundred dollars a session If you don't have the right insurance so with better help It's more affordable and you can go at your own pace so you can do it bi-weekly or weekly or you know, whatever you want And they make it very easy to start talking to therapists And you can transfer from therapist to therapist to make sure you find the right fit for you
Starting point is 00:28:24 But yeah, and on top of that you can transfer from therapist to therapist to make sure you find the right fit for you. But yeah, and on top of that, you can save some money. Your first month, you can save 10% by going to betterhelp.com slash basement yard today. You will get 10% off of your first month, all right? So go to betterhelpbethelp.com slash basement yard to save 10% off of your first month folks. All right, so go out there get some therapy and you know get better, okay?
Starting point is 00:28:53 And we also have hello fresh. Hello fresh. You get farm fresh pre-portion ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your front door. Like I said, they're pre-portioned, so you use everything that shows up. It just shows up in a nice box on your doorstep, and the things that need to be refrigerated are on these little ice packs and whatnot, so everything is fresh and great. You put it in your fridge, you make it whenever you want.
Starting point is 00:29:16 They send you a little recipe, and you're a little chef in your kitchen, and you're making things, okay? You go on their website, you pick out the seasonal recipes, and it's great. And I think it's a great way to get into cooking if you don't really cook too often. Or if you don't know what to cook, which is kind of my biggest thing. I don't really know what the hell to cook.
Starting point is 00:29:34 So I usually cook the same three things. But with Hello Fresh, you go on their website, they have all these great recipes, they send you the things you need for them, and the recipe, you feel like a chef, all right? So you can go get some HelloFresh. Also, it is way more affordable than going out to eat or to like order, because now there's like delivery fees, this and that, like all these things add up,
Starting point is 00:29:58 very expensive to order in, I should say. But you can go to Hellofresh.com slash basement free and use the code basement free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life as long as your subscription is active, okay? That is hellofresh.com slash basement free with the code basement free.
Starting point is 00:30:21 We're talking about a free meal. Come on, folks. Hellofresh.com slash basement free. Get that free breakfast a free meal. Come on folks. Hellofresh.com slash basement free. Get that free breakfast item for life. All right Frank? Yeah, it's my turn now, isn't it? Just say yes. Team me up. Yes. Thank you. Throw me the alley-oop right behind me. Come on. Huh? Never mind. Hey guys, it's Frank. It's Frank, your sweet little baby boy boy aka scar from the Lion King Although Joey swears that I am not I wanted to come by and remind you guys about um, I don't know if I brought this up before
Starting point is 00:30:51 Patreon patreon.com slice the basement yard folks. We are so appreciative so happy so thankful As of recording we're really close to our I think we actually have the highest amount of paid patrons We've ever had we're really close closing our, I think we actually have the highest amount of patrons we've ever had. We're really close to closing in on 28,000. That's because of people like you and you and you and you and you. So thank you so much. You can go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. When you sign up for that first year, you get these weekly episodes, seven days. Seven days before anybody else.
Starting point is 00:31:20 It's like a little hangout, a little party that you've been invited to before everyone else gets to come in. It's pre-admission. That's what you would like. And then that second tier, not only do you get those episodes one week in advance, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday, Friday morning, 7 a.m. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. You get those episodes delivered to you like a hot croissant with a nice buttery, crunchy finish to it.
Starting point is 00:31:43 All right? And listen, if you're having trouble finding patreon.com slash the basement yard, which you shouldn't because I tell you all the time, you can go to thebasementyard.com which is our new revamp website. Yes, it's fresh, it's hot, it's really cute. And if you go there, you can not only get information
Starting point is 00:31:59 on upcoming shows, you can get information, or you can get links to our Patreon, you can get links to our merch, you can get links to our merch, you can get all that stuff right in the comfort of your hand. You see that hand of yours? That little smartphone in your hand? That's where you got it. And also, this is for our patrons, for our patrons.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Remember I told you one week in advance? This is the last episode going out before the very first, well, last weekly episode going out before the very first Bas well, last weekly episode going out before the very first Basement Yard Experience Show in Montclair, New Jersey. And if you're going to that show, or if you're going to the show the next week in New Haven, or the week after that in Medford, Massachusetts,
Starting point is 00:32:37 you go to thebasementyard.com.submit and submit answers to the stuff that we wanna to know. We want to hear from you. These shows are interactive. We want to interact with you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you, pee our pants with you. Joey said he'd do that last one. So go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. Submit it before the shows and if we're coming to the show, if you're coming to the shows, we'll see you there. If not, die a fiery death and then yeah, we'll see you maybe at the next ones. All right, Joe, back to you. Jesus Christmas, die a to you. Jesus Christmas
Starting point is 00:33:05 Di-firey don't die a fiery death die a Honestly, I'd rather die a fiery death than like a regular death You're telling me you wouldn't If you're walking down the street and you just like Drop dead not as cool. You're walking down the street, you drop dead and burst into flames, awesome. I'm alone here, I guess. Frank, what the hell are you talking about? You don't wanna be set on fire.
Starting point is 00:33:36 I don't, did you hear what I said? You said bursting into flames, that would be setting on fire. I said you drop dead and then burst into flames. How would that happen? I don't know. Also, a fiery death, that's not what that is. A fiery death is like dying in a fire.
Starting point is 00:33:50 Yeah, that would not be cool. Thank you. But. No but. But listen to my but. Listen to my but. What's cooler, drowning or fire? Cooler?
Starting point is 00:34:03 What do you mean by cooler? Because no one's gonna go, damn, that's they will not fire like yo he died like he got headbutt by a giraffe is cool that that no that would not be a cool way to die die by punch in the mouth by a bear and like his head popped off that's cool that's not oh if you die from a giraffe bro giraffe is not a cool animal like giraffes are mad cool Mm-hmm. You don't think a giraffe is cool not on the scale of which animals that are going to kill you That's like saying like what does that mean he died from a koala bear? No, you know you can't die from a Baby couldn't die. Yes, you can they carry a bunch of fucking like venereal diseases and shit
Starting point is 00:34:44 Then you die from the disease you don't die from the koala mom who gave it to you the koala exactly that doesn't count bro animals that there's a there's a like absolutely Absolutely like objective list of animals that are cool to kill you Rhino's cool. Give me like give me hippos cool very cool, dude Yeah, but like giraffes are a cool animal, but like if they're gonna kill you. Rhino's cool. Give me like hippos cool. Very cool dude. Yeah. But like giraffes are a cool animal but like if they're gonna kill you not cool. Bobcat very cool. I can kill a bobcat. Any of the cats is cool. I would say yeah
Starting point is 00:35:17 except for like cats. House cats. Yeah like that's stupid. He died from a house cat immediately sad. Yeah yeah that sucks. Give me like another cool animal. What about like an eagle? An eagle is very cool. But not cool to die by an eagle. No. No bird of prey can destroy me. There's a bird.
Starting point is 00:35:37 I forget the name right now, but it's a falcon. And it could fly like 200 miles an hour or something. No, Joey. No, no, no. Fastest bird in the world, Frankie. I'm going to blow your fucking mind. If there is a bird that can go 200 miles per hour, all that thing needs to do is just fucking pointed beak
Starting point is 00:35:54 and just go straight through someone's chest. Literally, they would just turn your fucking head into dust. 200 miles per hour, I could be off. You probably are. I mean, if they ride the wind, Google fucking I mean if they ride the wind. Oh my god, doggal fucking work. If they ride the wind I can see. The parrot bro. It's a parrot? No, no, no. It's called the Peregrine, peregrine falcon. The fast is the fastest bird and in
Starting point is 00:36:18 fact the fastest animal on earth. When in a dive as it executes this dive the falcon soars to a great height and then dives steeply at speeds up to 240 miles an hour. I don't believe that. What would that eat? What would a bird hitting you at 240 miles an hour even do? Explode on impact. It would be dead. And we would just go through everyone yeah everyone would be put down my cock you would be well didn't know why it needed to go there you everyone in that situation would be dead dude 240 miles an hour how I mean they just fall with grace but dude how can it but I don't understand story falling with style that's all that Bert is doing.
Starting point is 00:37:05 That's not that cool. That was like cartoon toys, you dumbass. If you were putting me in a free dive, I could probably reach 240 miles per hour too. And just like, I'll like go like this and put knives in front of me. I'm just as cool as you. Knives.
Starting point is 00:37:19 And they're beak. Their beak is like sharp, I assume, right? Dumbass. No, you're not uh aerodynamic as a fucking falcon okay well yeah because they can like move their bones and shit like that I don't think it has anything to do with the bones I think it definitely their head is also more aerodynamic that's crazy put me in like a like I dude there's a lot of there's a lot of birds I can there's three birds I could do 200 miles an hour a golden eagle didn't even know that was a bird
Starting point is 00:37:45 You didn't know what a golden eagle looks like no Honestly kind of a little bit cooler than a bald eagle golden eagle You know what I saw when I was oh right now. That's what I'm talking about. That's a sexy bird That's like the Beyonce of birds. That's what I'm saying. I think he's got sex appeal Say a bird. This is a cool bird cooler cooler the only reason we took the ball is his nails Yeah, you see those talons dude. Yeah, that's what it is Dude those are fucking holy shit. They're big. Yeah, let me see which one which one you got It's two dudes hold them one up. Yeah, dude. Those those are bad boys. Holy fuck dude cooler than a bald eagle if you ask me
Starting point is 00:38:25 I saw a um What are those things called? Vulture no no no when I was in when I was in uh when I was in Utah Falcon Eagle this is not a guessing portion of a show spray What the fuck is that? It's a bird of prey Joey. I don't remember what it was but it was a big bird it was like some guys like oh that's a California something. Bro you know how sick I would be if I you're like how sick it would be if I saw something and someone was like oh that's a fucking
Starting point is 00:39:00 rare like silver-tongued eagle. Yeah. yeah. I saw a bald eagle a couple years ago. What? They have like multiple nests at the lake. And when I was living in Jersey, there was one that was like flying around and like. Bald eagles are like the size of children. Yeah, they're very big. It's like a 10 year old.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Like very, very big, yeah. Fuck, it's kind of cool. I will say we did pick a pretty sick animal to be like our national animal Like if we were something like stupid like a lemur, bro Guess the national animal you're gonna think I'm making this up guess the national animal of Scotland a Worm That's pretty fucking stupid a unicorn. Are you guys in Scotland? All right? That's like A unicorn. Are you guys in Scotland are right?
Starting point is 00:39:43 That's like... That's like the people in Philadelphia that have a statue of Rocky in front of them. Not real folks. That's like putting a statue of Spider-Man. Although you know what are... I swear to God I just found this out like two months ago or like recently. You know what are real animals? Nar-Walls.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Did you not know that? I thought they were like unicorns dude. Recently you know what are real animals narwhals? Did you not know that I thought they were like like unicorns dude Why because they do they're the exact same thing, but just one's land one's water What narwhals? Oh, our walls. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah, it's got like a horn. Yeah, didn't know that was a real thing Yeah Why are you so casual about I don't know, I just knew that. Can we look at pictures of that? Narwhal. Spell Narwhal.
Starting point is 00:40:31 N-A-R-W-H-A-L. Correct. Yeah, yeah dude. They just look like seals, but they got horns, right? Horns, they have unhorn and it's long as fucking shit. Let me see it. I wanna see like a real life one. It's like a spear dude. if I saw you're dead dude
Starting point is 00:40:48 100% you know what I'm terrified of weird weird thing that I'm very scared of swordfish Yes Like the videos of people like fishing and then one just hops in the boat bro I'd be like, bro, it's a sword on here. And they're just like going, you know? Fucking unguard. Yeah. I'd be like, I'm sort of fencing this thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Dude, I'd be so scared of fucking swordfish. Bro, you know, that's why I don't want to swim in the ocean, because one day you're swimming because of swordfish. People go out to like the ocean like fucking like three miles and they'll go swimming and fishing and shit like that. Those people deserve whatever's happening to you. You don't go swimming three miles out into the ocean, you dumb ass.
Starting point is 00:41:26 All I'm saying is if swordfish decided they wanted to get rid of us as a human race, they can't. They can't, dude. They're in the water. Yeah, but they can keep us out of the water. There's a lot of animals that could. The last time I was in, where was I? In Miami, there was a shark.
Starting point is 00:41:43 I saw it. I was very close to it. Absolutely it. I was very close to it I was very close to it. Absolutely not absolutely. I saw a barracuda. I'll be honest with you I'm not that afraid of sharks if I could stand you're the biggest fucking idiot. I've ever met I am I am How I don't know cuz I could stand that's way worse. Why because then they get your ankles dude. Oh, he'll pull me Yeah, that that't be cool. Bro, I would fucking... No, so like, you ever see the video of the guy
Starting point is 00:42:09 and like, I'm not really afraid of my legs being hurt. Is that weird? Yes. Because like, if I'm standing there, right, and then a shark grabs my leg. You're gone. I'm not gone. You're gone.
Starting point is 00:42:22 If the shark is in water. I'll tell you what, his eyes are gone. Cause I'm taking them with me. I'm taking them fucking on. They say that you can hypnotize sharks by touching their nose. Hypnotize. That's what I've been told. I'm just-
Starting point is 00:42:32 I'm just- I'm not fucking hypnotizing a shark! I'm letting you know there are videos of people that grab a shark by the nose and they literally go like this and turn them upside down. Well I know that. I know you could like, you're supposed to like move them. But like, I'm not doing that. This is crazy. But like standing. I'm standing
Starting point is 00:42:46 I'm up to my knees in water and a shark comes up and bites my leg. I'm like not happy But I think I could get away Depending on how big did you ever see the video of the it was a tiger shark or a bull shark? I'm not talking about fucking tiger sharks here. They're not that big dude. Oh, they're like as big as this table Oh, yeah, no, that's not happening that I'm not gonna eat by something that big Did you see that listen to dragon though just for one second just shut your goddamn piehole There was a video if it was like all over Shark Week of like a guy standing in like ankle high or it was like shin knee high water
Starting point is 00:43:24 Okay, and it grabs his calf and takes off with him But both a whoosh and it ripped his calf clean off of his body Oh, and you see they show you the video of them picking him up and bringing him and his skin is hanging down like a fucking tethered flag But he's alright tattered flag is what I meant to say. Yeah. Yeah, he's okay But he'll never walk the same because he doesn't have a calf muscle Yeah, that's not cool. I like my calves Take it easy. I Don't know why you're not afraid of sharks. I'm afraid of sharks. I'm just saying like when I can stand
Starting point is 00:43:58 I'm way less afraid of them. I remember it was the first time I ever went to Miami. I was with my family I think I've told this story a couple of times. And my brother and I were walking the beach and we were like, yo, let's go in the water on South Beach. And we went out like maybe like honestly, I would say like a hundred yards. And we were standing with water. Like our feet were out of the water. Like a sandbar.
Starting point is 00:44:25 It was a sandbar. And we were standing and we look over and we see my dad and my dad's going like this. And we're thinking he's waving to us. We're like, hi, you know, and then we go back in and we're like, you know, that was so cool. My dad was like, are you fucking stupid? Apparently my dad is only afraid of aquatic life. He's like, are you still, that's where the sharks hang out, the sandbots. Do they?
Starting point is 00:44:48 Yes. Because that's where dumb fucking birds and shit will go there. Like, oh, I can walk, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and then this thing just fucking bang. Yeah. And then takes it and it's gone. I get into moods when I'm at the beach sometimes, and I'm like, I'm going to go out far. I want to be the furthest person out on the beach.
Starting point is 00:45:05 I do that sometimes. Yeah, no, it's very stupid. If I get pulled out into sea, dude, by an animal, I'm gonna be so pissed off. Just don't do it. Yeah. Don't put yourself in the situation when the- I'm not gonna not go in the water.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Guess how many times? All right, I'm gonna give you a serious eight. Let's put it in terms of sports, because that's the only thing that your fucking baby brain can think. If the ocean played a full NFL season, what do you think its record would be? Did you think that meant anything?
Starting point is 00:45:43 Like what you just said, you thought, like you think that means something? Yeah. Give me, seriously. How can I answer that question? Just hypothetically. I don't even know what you're saying! The answer is undefeated. The ocean is undefeated.
Starting point is 00:45:58 It is never lost. And if you put yourself in a situation like that, we talk about we beat the ocean all the time. I've eaten swordfish. You lost. We lost that, we talk about we beat the ocean all the time. I've eaten swordfish. You lost. We lost that. Yeah, but we lost that one dumb lonely swordfish. I've never been eaten by a swordfish.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Yes, because you've never, because you've- I'm undefeated. All right, you know what? And I've eaten shark. Undefeated. I've eaten shark too, and swordfish. Both, quite delicious. I will say.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Swordfish is all right. I like swordfish a lot. Really? Yeah, a lot. Is all right. Really? Yeah, a lot. Is that right? Really? Yeah, that's all right. Interesting, interesting, interesting.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Where do you have it? I should cook it for you. I actually had a really, I had it at a nice restaurant. So I could do it better. Grammarcy Tavour. Here goes, Name Dropper, Restaurant Boy, Clank Clank Clung. Do that dance again. Go ahead.
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Starting point is 00:48:12 Babbel, great way to learn a language. You bored? You got a lot of time? Or do you play a lot of games on your phone or something? How about putting the temple rundown and let's pick up the Babbel and learn something, all right? Temple run, what year is it? That just pops into my head.
Starting point is 00:48:27 But babble, it is proven to be better. Let me find what it says. There were actual studies that were done in certain colleges, Yale, Michigan State University. They found that babble for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. So this is a great way to be learning another language, whether it be, you know, Spanish, you know, Chinese, Russian, whatever it is, they have every language on there that gamify
Starting point is 00:48:53 it. And it's great. I mean, I use Babel for a very long time during the pandemic. I was trying a bunch of different things. I was reading books. I was doing Babel. It was craziness. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:04 So, but Babel is awesome. It's a lot of fun also, great way to learn a language. For a special deal for our listeners, right now you get 55% off your Babbel subscription but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash basement. That is 55% off at babbel.com slash basement, B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash basement. Okay, rules and restrictions may apply, but go try it out, Babble. Ton of fun, learn a new language, be cultured. All right. And lastly here, we have Dr.
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Starting point is 00:50:02 And it has no harmful ingredients, which is great. That's kind of what I, you know, for whatever reason, I like to do that with my shampoos and, you know, face washes or whatever and my soaps. I like it when it doesn't have any harmful ingredients. So when companies advertise that, I'm all over it. So buy three soaps, get three for free with free shipping and the offer is only valid for new customers by the way.
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Starting point is 00:50:57 I play no, I don't but I don't even think they still like it still works with our current phone like hundred percent It does Hey folks put the tap-apRevenge3 down. What's that? You don't remember that one? It was like, bro, people still play Candy Crush like crazy. Cause it has like 8,000 levels. I know.
Starting point is 00:51:13 I remember my old roommate was like, oh, he's like, oh, I'm on level 2,040. I was like, what is, what, what? Yeah, you gotta be a sick person. It's still fun. Also not a fun game, dude. Don't care much about Candy Crush. I feel like the middle the middle-aged mothers of
Starting point is 00:51:28 America that was that they bonded over that and then they put that down and got horny to 50 shades and then bro Do you know what those middle-aged women? Do you know what they love? They love it the sexual cooking videos. What are those you've never seen a guy like he's making steak where he's like, oh, and he fucking fingers in. He's like, oh. And then he's like squeezing it. Oh, shit. It's like squirting.
Starting point is 00:51:52 No, you've never seen that? You've never seen that? Where, what, no. Dude, there's one where. I just, for, where would you find this? Yeah, Instagram, dude. Okay, alright. But like-
Starting point is 00:52:01 What exactly? I'll send you, I'll send you. I don't know by heart, but I'll send you it. I have it right now, I have it written down. But like, there's a guy send y'all. I don't know by heart, but I'll send you it. I have it right now I have written down but like there was there's a guy I wish I remembered his name, but he I'm pretty sure it's a bit But like no, it's gotta be a bit It's like it yeah, because it's like yo He's finger fucking this thing and then he's like he has a mixer and he's like oh
Starting point is 00:52:20 Slaps it in like fuck it and like it's crazy the fuck out of here. This is where it got a shirt off This isn't real what he makes a great me in middle-aged women that they're so sexually oppressed Oh my god, whether husbands are at work and they're at home watching the kids and fucking doing whatever They just want to look at the fucking laptop and be like shut the fuck up. I want to feel something I want to feel something. I want to feel something. I get it. Yeah, all right stupid my stupid fat husband is at work being an asshole He comes home. He doesn't even look at me doesn't even notice all I've done for him That's what I'm gonna do when he's not home is I'm gonna watch someone make a nice meal take their shirt off and fuck a steak Because that's what happens
Starting point is 00:52:58 You have a lot of like insider knowledge on this stuff. It's just an assumption. Yeah, oh yeah, that really sounded like a real assumption. It's porn. It's porn. I love how like anything could be porn. Apparently there's this Jeremy Allen White, Calvin Klein photo that. Apparently I didn't see it, but everyone is just like going nuts on line for it.
Starting point is 00:53:20 The guy is basically just walking around, ham hogging it out. Yeah, he's yeah He's like on a roof and in like in New York just fucking just wasn't New York I don't know beef out. It wasn't beef out Calvin cons basically your beef is out. There's a fucking this 800 thread count of cotton separating your cock from the air. Yeah, I mean, it's a it's a bold show for sure Really? Yeah, and he's he's ripped up He got and guy did get ripped up for the iron claw. I want to see it Was that for the iron claw? I mean, maybe he was ripped up always but like no he wasn't all right the iron claw
Starting point is 00:53:54 Probably because it's a movie about wrestlers. So I feel about Jeremy Allen white I Didn't I tried watching the bear and I couldn't really I couldn't do it like the bear I couldn't do it. It was too much like I was like my brain is like I can't it was like There's like slow slow the fuck down. Oh wow you're so sensitive no, but just for that I just couldn't do it Oh, the bear I was by look. I don't I've never seen him in anything. I think you could kill an actual bear But he can't watch the TV show you fuck up give him a fuck up dirty dumpster That's what you came up with. I'm sorry dirty dumpster. You don't win them all you don't win them all
Starting point is 00:54:32 That's what's great about our show is that you're gonna see live how we crash and burn sometimes yet, so It's at the end we're not like the end of the episode here So I'm gonna sneak this in and not say anything, but we are recording for the new episode of, I mean, for the new season of OPL. We just talked to a guest, and you reminded me when you said Dumpster, we just talked to a guest and it was a gay man, and he- A lot of gay men on this show.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Yeah. But I'm not gonna say what it was, or go into too much detail, but just know that multiple times on This episode which it was one of crazier episodes. We've had He refers to himself as cock sucker. Okay. Well, hey the Efsler. Oh Yikes, so many dude, maybe 50 of them by the way. It's his word. He could say it and Come dumpster bro that is one of the wildest things to call someone or be called a
Starting point is 00:55:29 cum dumpster yeah because the amount of cum you need to fill a dumpster is just and then just like you don't put anything like that you want or like in a dumpster like you're not like yeah a dumpster is like a like a dumpster fire I definitely have been in a dumpster before have you been in a dump dumpster? Yeah, we've been in the same dumpster. The ones in the same Francis. Oh yeah, we were in that dumpster. We would go to those dumpsters. We had those dumpsters all the time.
Starting point is 00:55:51 We got yelled at. Why are we hiding in dumpsters though? They were there and we would always play manhunt in that area. We were warned because the guy was like, listen, the trucks come. And then they pick you up. And they'll pick you up and you get crushed in the dumpster. Right. Can you imagine truck dumpster the truck the truck dumpster? Yeah? Yeah, sir truck the truck literally what it's called
Starting point is 00:56:10 Did not the Trumpster? I'm here. Yeah, but uh Yeah, I guess we have been a dumpster. I did like dumpsters when I was younger for some reason I liked being in a dumpster. Yeah, I that that was weird That's weird that you say you like being in a dumpster the idea You're like in a dumpster was like someone's like spitting on you and like demeaning you and they're like don't come you fucking little Harry fat bastard. No, that's not what I mean. I don't ask what you like You want to be like in a dumpster to feel something no
Starting point is 00:56:36 I like the trash that I've been called my whole life No, I wanted to be in a dumpster because it was nice to hide Frank It wasn't because of what anything you could I mean we you could have and did hide in many other places I know but the being in the dumpster being in the dumpster I liked being in the dumpster because right no because you could just poke your head out you could poke I I can't tell you how bad in my life I've wanted to do like one of those like you know in like fucking like all the Disney Channel shows where they like peek their head around the doorway
Starting point is 00:57:05 and it's like a one head, one head, one head, one head. I wanted to do that so bad. So like you say like you poke your head out of it. Poke your head out of the dumpster and then like, and then you're like, definitely. You're just, but you're hanging out with garbage was as incredible. I mean, if it was empty, who gives a fuck?
Starting point is 00:57:18 We were kids, we didn't care. Like we weren't like wiping our balls and ass on the thing. I used to play with trash a lot now that I think about it because I was hanging out in Dubsters. Mean Keith used to play basketball in the alleyway, but we would play in a trash can. Threw up everywhere dude, got me so sick. Yeah, sounds about right. Yeah, so I mean there's a lot of trash in my childhood now that I think about it. Yeah, this all sounds very strange,
Starting point is 00:57:45 but hey man, that's New York. I used to think that landfills would be a cool place to go. Bro, do you remember when it would snow a lot and they would take all the snow and leave it down by the dumps and there was like, without exaggeration. So there was a part of Astoria called the dumps.
Starting point is 00:58:00 It was like the industrial section and they were just giant long blocks of nothing. Like nothing was there, but just like decrepit brick industrial buildings that you never saw anyone go in or out of. And anytime it would snow in a story of the snow plows, because it was at the bottom of a hill, they would bring all of the snow to the dumps
Starting point is 00:58:23 and they would make piles that were without exaggeration 20 15 to 20 feet tall. Yeah, and it was the greatest games of King of the hill that you've ever played in your entire life Yeah, a lot of people hurt their heads on the concrete. Yeah. Well, whatever things happen, you know, it's okay I'd rather play on that than fucking, you know with whatever I'm certain whatever dumpsters you were playing No, dude a dumpster is way more fun. You ever hook up put someone in a dumpster. No, what am I fucking Aladdin? You did we went with a brown person there, huh? You real racist asshole No, no, no, I I've never hooked up with anyone in a dumpster, but I haven't been in a dumpster in years
Starting point is 00:58:57 I would like to be in one. I'm not gonna lie. Oh, maybe just to feel like this all get a dumpster I can't just get a dumpster. Again? And I've seen dumpsters. I also like throwing things out in dumpsters. Something about a dumpster. Just like opening that side thing and just launching a bag into it. Love that. Yeah. Those like... Anytime I open something that slides like that I think I'm jigsaw from Saw. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Or he's just like, Game over! Yeah. You know what I would really like to do? Open a vault. With the big spinny thing? Oh, like a real big one. Yeah, you know, you know what I would really like to do open a vault With a big spinny thing. Oh like a real big one Yeah, my my following law has a big gun safe and it's pretty like you need to like to like open the door I like that pretty cool. Yeah, how does that work with the spinny thing? I mean, it's it's like a combination if you get a combination one. I want to put my ear to one and be like
Starting point is 00:59:45 Yeah, I mean, you don't know what you're looking for though. I don't I wouldn't not at all breaking into stuff is so fun It is not as fun as being in a dumpster though. Apparently Yeah, I don't know why I was so into that that's a very strange thing to be into I know it's like it's very strange. It's like happening in real time that'm realizing like oh, I was I liked being in a dumpster. I enjoyed that yeah Well, that was weird to enjoy like I understand doing it as a kid, but yeah, like yeah, I like it now still I don't I don't actively like being in a dumpster. I haven't been in it. You just said the opposite for several minutes I said I would get in one for nostalgia. I I said I would get in one for nostalgia.
Starting point is 01:00:24 I would- What is this show? What is this show? Guys, we had several things to talk about. Several! Several, several, several things to talk about. And now we're talking about hanging out- And now Joey is just professing his love for hanging out in dumpsters? I wish that- And you talk about me as if I was some fucking street rat,
Starting point is 01:00:44 you know, who was coming to your house all the time and it was like when you were fucking You know Yeah, but There's a lot of redeeming qualities about dumpster You ever throw something out on a dumpster and then you got to take the flap and close the flap Have you ever had an open flap on a dumpster and the bag hits it and it falls in and then it closes Nothing better than that Literally that must feel like hitting a game winning shot in the finals
Starting point is 01:01:14 That's the closest I've gotten to it so yeah absolutely Throwing a trash can and hitting the perfect spot so the trash goes in and it closes. Oh my god forget about that. It's like it's like those women that watch the cooking porn. There is something about garbage that's endearing though. Later folks. See you later. You're crazy though. Because you like, I know you like garbage trucks. I know you like garbage trucks. Who doesn't like garbage trucks? Like when that thing crushes the garbage and pulls it up. Dude, do you want to hear? And then the water comes down. You want to hear something? You want to hear something? We just got a new couch. So we got rid of the old ones. Do you want to water? Something you want to hear something we just got a new couch So we got rid of the old ones and you threw it in and one of those things that crushes it and we so I like anytime the garbage
Starting point is 01:01:52 Comes I like I don't want them to see me watching, but I like I like what your couch in the garbage truck Yes, do they crush it? Yes? Dude and like literally any time you watch a garbage truck you always like oh they can't they're not gonna have a space They're not they can't feel that dude this fucking thing came out and fucking chomped pulled it in like a Fucking alien. Yeah. Yeah, just oh my god. It was so satisfying That's nice. It was really really good. That's a good find. I also When I worked at Target,
Starting point is 01:02:25 they had a baler in the back. Oh? And a trash compactor. Oh. And I would, anytime we had like old expired food, you just throw it in, you have to like charge it out, throw it in the trash compactor, you fill that bad boy up, and then you turn that key
Starting point is 01:02:38 and you press that button, and I would watch like this. Wait, what does it look like? It was a giant, so it was a room in the back of the store. Yeah. And it was a door and you open the door and you dump everything in. And it's just like a hole in the floor. Oh.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Like you can jump into it if you want, but don't. Yeah. And you just watch and then you just like, and then in the back you see just like the compacted garbage and you press the button and you watch this thing just come. Oh, and it crushes it? Oh my God, dude. You ever see those videos of that thing. It just looks like a bunch of gears Yes, and then you think they throw like jelly into it and stuff a fucking what's that called? They'll throw like a fax machine and guess tank in it. Yeah, and it's just like it eventually
Starting point is 01:03:19 It's like it bounces around a little bit and it gets it gets it and it just fucking Crud is it on dude? I love it dude. I fucking love that shit. See garbage is good. Garbage is fun There's something about fucking garbage dude. We Continue to surprise. I love garbage, I mean Athena if you're still watching at this point in time Garbage man Joe that's that's it. That's an easy one for you. I'll take that I'll will be the garbage man. There is something about it. Awesome the back of a garbage. Do you know Dude, you know how bad I want to hang off the back of a garbage truck and before it comes to a full stop
Starting point is 01:03:58 Get down with a backwards hat and just like I should fucking with gloves on with cool gloves on yeah Dude the garbage by the garbage truck by me. They don't even get out It's just a fucking machine that goes out grabs it dumps it in oh that's bullshit. It's a little bit bullshit. I agree I hate that I don't I'm not hanging off the back like this like with a backwards with a backwards trucker hat And you're just like covered and just like just stains. Yeah, I trucker hat and you're just like covered in just like just stains yeah I want that life so bad I want it and just throwing the garbage in damn that might cancel the tour I'm gonna be going sanitation test sanitation test for a week I'm unbelievable well shout out to all the garbage man I love garbage bro they also
Starting point is 01:04:41 do very well for themselves hell Hell yeah. Also a lot of I knew someone that started as a sanitation worker and they like worked their way up And they had the rank of like Colonel They have like militia bro garbage men colonel garbage men have like military ranks, dude That's dope. And can you imagine being like a sergeant of garbage? And they carry around a gun Well, they do what yes, dude whom they have like a sanitation police And they carry guns I swear it's wild bro. I am sergeant fucking garbage man I wish I would be so cool. They're too cool as jobs love garbage ish
Starting point is 01:05:22 Get some stuff there who mm we talking about police force oh shout the garbage man love garbage but that's all for the frank rick they find you apparently on the back of a garbage truck with Joey at Falvors 885 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez and all the forms of social media and like I said earlier, patreon.com slash TheBaseBignard. If for some reason I said it too fast and you can't find it that way, go to thebasementyard.com,
Starting point is 01:05:51 our new revamp website. It's sleek, it's sexy, it's shiny, it's beautiful, you want it. Then check out TheBaseBignard on all social media platforms. We're there, we're live, we're a presence, we're tuned in. You guys can go follow me at Joe Sanagato and go follow the show at TheBaseBignard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys can go follow me at Joe Sanagato and go follow the show at the basement yard on tiktok and Instagram and that is all see you guys next time

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