The Basement Yard - #435 - Live From The Tunnels

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

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Welcome back to the bass... Music Welcome back to the bassman yard. I am Joe Sanagato and I am here with my Spanish co-host Mr. Frank Alvarez. How you doing? Oh, I thought I was fully prepared. You were gonna say something stupid, inappropriate, quite frankly, possibly even disrespectful. To you? Yeah. Why? Not today. You're wearing mauve. This is purple. Isn't that that mauve what is mauve? I don't I hate that dude mauve mauve your daughter's name It sounds like fucking mom. Yeah, Monica

Where's mom mom mom yeah, it's really purple is that yeah, oh shit Yeah, that's a little more purple leaf like this is a little more pinky Yeah, little pinkie little pinkie, you know, but what are you gonna do? Yeah Joey before asked me I got him food from downstairs and he goes give me two little pink That's I literally didn't say that pink hat sauce. I said you little pink one I was like, oh you said little I said give me two pink sauces these little fuck it flirtatious bitch No, I said give me two pink sauce. These little fucking flirtatious bitch. No, I said, give me two pink sauces.

And you're like, oh, two pinks. Pinky, pinky, pinkies. And I was like, that's not what I said at all. You two pinkies? No. What? Two pinkies. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I've never done that. You've never put your pinky in a person? You put your pinky in someone? Yeah, well, you know. Oh, why? This is weekly? Why did you do that? Well, the shocker like everyone tries.

You've wait, hold on. You pink in the stink. You pinked. I'm the way. No, wait. Oh, oh, oh, oh, back up, back up. You're coming at me a little hot right now. I needed to cool your come down.

But but I'm saying but you put two in the pink one in the stink, but the pink was in the stink. Right? Two. Well, yeah, pink to pink one in the stink, but the pink was in the stink right to Well, yeah pink to pink one stink one stink. So you got this in a stink you put it in a state I I you know, I maybe I just like dabble around I like I like you know ran the stick across the fence So to say maybe I didn't go all the way in I'm not quite sure It's news I didn't know you've never done done that? I've never pink stanked. You've never punk stunk.

No, what? I've never done that. I can't believe it. I did not punk stunk. Why not? Because I don't pink stank and I'll never punk stunk. I mean, if it's- Not never, not never.

I was gonna say, if the person's into it and you say like, you know, let's do a little, you know, and then there's like, you know, punk me, stunk me. Yeah, at that point you have to, I feel like. Well, yeah. Is there like, what's like, what's like, if you were to like say right now what can I can I can I just stop you for a second sure whatever you say I hate it right now because whenever you do this you start looking up in the air I'm like here we

fucking go but good what's like what do you think if like because you seem at least from what you've shared with me like you're not a big kink guy but like what do you think is the closest thing you got to a kink like do you like to be smacked um do you like to be like berated verbally like berated like what you're having sex is just like you fucking little little dick fucking asshole no Jesus Christ no I like that at all no I don't like I wish there was a hotline For there is dude if you call like 1 800 tiny tiny. I'm a tiny cock boy Then they'll call and they'll take up. I mean cock is too many this to me right so many letters 1 800 Lil cock LIL cock bitch boy now. We have to check if that's a real thing. Oh, yeah is Lil cock enough numbers

Yeah, it's 400 little 100 Lil cock enough numbers. Yeah, it's 400 little one 800 LIL Cock here we go here we go speak it My head's ringing Oh So close dude 1 800 so for all you guys out there 1 800 little cock sounds available dude Yeah, you just a fax number you could take it. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. You know, but

Welcome back. How you doing? I like that sweater. I got to say that's a really nice color. Thanks I actually got like a stain on it. Oh, don't you hate that? It's a perfect circular stain. What kind of what stain is it? I think it's oil. Oh, it't you hate that? It's a perfect circular stain. What kind of, what stain is it? I think it's oil. Oh, it's done. It doesn't come out. I remember when I was a kid, if I'd get like an oil stain or something on one of my shirts, I'd be like, why don't I just dip this whole shirt in oil

and then everything is oil stained? That's not a bad idea. Right? Wait, that might be brilliant. What I'm saying? That's a lot of oil. Where are you getting all that oil? This happened from like probably a slightly-

I mean, there are some oils that are not that expensive. Yes, you can get higher quality, you know, olive oils and stuff, but like if you get like a fucking- Crisco? Like, yeah, you gotta- Not Crisco. What's that called? Crisco is like shortening, but like, yeah, you can get like a vegetable oil or a canola oil. And you just dump it in and you soak your- Just dump it in a bowl, babe. Yeah, but how do you- how do you clean that? It's too much oil.

Well, I mean, it's gonna take a while to clean Yeah, absolutely, but you just like ring it like hang it up let it ring out You know kind of drip out drip out We think we kind of apartment do you think that I have that I'm letting oil drip all over somewhere you have a tub You think I'm gonna let vegetable oil just drain out of a sweater. Why why not dumb why oh? I'm so sorry. I apologize. This is the guy that used to openly let his dog take fucking dumps on his patio.

First of all. Forgive me. My bad for thinking you might do something that is creative and fun and a little different. Oh, yeah. It was real creative and fun. And by the way, don't, because I already had a thing yesterday. Two.

Charlie dumped in your place. He didn't dump in my place. And also also I wasn't letting them shit on the patio I only let him shit on the patio when it was snowing out So so I hold on and I was I didn't let him shit on the patio. I only let him Yeah, he should have the patio when it was snowing out so that I could ball it up Yeah, tell me about how did you clean up that poop that was on your patio? I picked up what a dog bag did you yeah, did you get did you yes? poop that was on your patio. I'm picking up a dog bag. Did you? Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Did you? Yes. You're sure? Yes. Because I very clearly remember it like just getting like beaten by the rain and

going down the drain. Well, you guys were I'm in over here. Next time I'll try to refrain. Sometimes it but these words they come into my brain. No, that's enough. No, no, no, no. Okay. No, but sometimes he would shit like in a hole or something. I wouldn't find it So I'd be like alright and then the snow would melt and then eventually Joey it was a patio not fucking no man's land like there wasn't bunkers on it I'm just but if you're a dog and you're walking around you're creating these little holes. I'm not a hole Oh in the snow snow. Oh, I was like what fucking yeah, I would assume you see the steam Rising from the fucking hole and you'd be able to find it it's not just be honest with yourself and the people that are watching anyway the reason why like

you know you actually like it's funny that you bring that up because last night I went out to dinner and when I got home I was gone two and a half hours. I get ready to go. Huh? Where'd you go to dinner? There's a place near me. What do you get? What did I get? I Got a braised short rib. Hey, let's go. I fuck on that way. Yeah, that's really good But I get home and then I walk and the dog is always right there. So he's like jumping over me I'm like, hi. Yeah. Yeah, I get it and then I walk into the kitchen and I like put my jacket down and I turn around He pissed all over the coffee table

It was just wait wait. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah as if he like was standing on top of the coffee table and As if he like was standing on top of the coffee table and urinated bro that this that's a fucking message message sent Received loud and clear this dog hates you now. Yeah, I mean I live on a high floor My windows don't open very you know far don't open that much, but if they did Fucking way to go. Yeah being a fucking big big. Oh, I just I live on a high floor I run five miles, you know in five minutes, you know, whatever. Doesn't happen. Yeah, well. But anyway, my dog, can you have some sympathy here?

My dog pissed all over my goddamn fucking- What was on the coffee table? Did you lose anything? There was two books that like, he missed one of them. It didn't really, so like in a- Wait, was he like spraying pee or was it a puddle? Oh, full puddle. This was like a fucking Godzilla piss. Did it stay on the, did it stay on the table or did it run it over a little bit did

Onto the carpet. Yeah, you toss the carpet right? No, I have a spraying wash So I sprayed the fuck out of it and then this morning roll out to do the same thing Those you guys I tell this right now if I come home and he pissed on it again dead dog new carpet Yeah, I was gonna say that's how you put a fucking fucking you know boom a slug the back of his head a slug what you an old timey guy with a fucking Tommy gun shut up I put a slug in ya so wait did you not bring him out before you left for dinner that's where I went wrong so I did so yeah so you're to blame for your PP cable. We have it What PP table we have a schedule?

We have like a thing that we do and would you you being at dinner for the two hours two and a half hours that you were out Did that interrupt his PP schedule? No because there's been times like recently also Where I take him out in the morning and whatever he goes to the bathroom And then that day it was like a wild storm like sideways hail fucking whatever that day it was horrible so I was like no shot and also he doesn't like going out and like when it's like raining or whatever he just like won't go so I was like we're not gonna go so he didn't piss until the next day so you let this poor dog so hold on first you let this poor dog, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no all the time. Sometimes, sometimes on this show it is. No, that happened like at some point like last week but yesterday I took him out in the morning regularly and then I usually take him out around like eight, nine. So I

was leaving around like six thirty so I was like I'm just gonna walk him when I get back because I'll be back soon. Big Godzilla piss all over the table and a little bit on the rug and I just bought a new rug. Oh is it a nice rug? Is it shaggy? It's not, no, but it's like white. Oh, so now it's not. Now it's not like white. It's more like crim. I always think of that SNL thing where Will Ferrell was like dissing your dog's home videos and he's like, hey Sparky, I really appreciate your help with the new off-white couch Literally, that's basically now here's the here's the real question ASPC a or pita turn this off

ASPC a did you like verbally abuse your dog? Yeah, no. Yeah, I go I go. What is this and he just sits? Yeah, he knew what I go. What is this? And he just sits. He just looks at me like this. He was, yeah, he knew what he did. I go, what is that? Like he's gonna talk to me. He's gonna, what if he goes, piss you motherfucker. Piss. Next time it's gonna be a shit, bitch. I, but I literally, I put a finger in the face and I go, what is that?

What is that? Bad. Rainless face. Bro, I would cry and I'm like, fuck. I've seen you do it, but it is the hardest thing in the world to remain serious when you're trying to be dog Dad Joe because you have and you just did it there too And I don't know if you hear it But like you have a bit of like a playful like playful voice would hit and you do like this thing like oh barley Charlie

Bop Bop and you have like a bit of that when you reprimand him you're like hey Sir, what is this? Yeah, it's like how do I take that serious? I don't know. What do you want me to do? You want me to fucking like you like yo? What the hell man? Just like be on it like that's something that I have had to do with like the kids What the mother fuck like I like when I talk with Ruby sometimes I like do like you know fun parenties dad talk with her You know what I mean? I'm just like a looby like you know like being cute cuz I'm a cute guy and But like there have been times where I've had to like reprimand her and I keep that voice

So like something happened to be like I'd be like who be yoga again trouble and Becca's like that's so confusing She's a clown dude Because like say it serious like if you're gonna do it commit to it will be yeah like like fuck you should have basically yeah bro the other day I was crying laughing I get home from from here from recording I'm gonna say work you get home from a long day I went home for a long day, you know at the office really hard work and Becca just like comes she I don't know if she's showered when I got home or if you showered right before I got home

and we're sitting on the couch and Ruby starts hysterically crying Just out of nowhere, bro. Maybe is asleep. I think Miles was just playing video games or something. Hysterically crying. And we're like, Ruby, what's wrong? And she's sitting, so we got a new couch. She's sitting on the other side of the couch. So like, at least eight or 10 feet away.

She starts hysterically crying. We're like, Ruby, what's wrong? And she points to Becca. She goes, mommy, bud stinks. Bro. She's in her ass too. Bro. Ha ha ha. Bro, we lost it. She's in her ass too.

Yeah, we lost it. And Becca's like, no, no, I know. I was like, I'm sitting right next to you. I know you don't stink. But like the fact that this fucking kid, and for those of you guys that don't have kids, they humble you in the fucking strangest way sometimes. She's cried.

Bro, like crying as if she just like fucking like fell and bumped her head Just like and she's going like this. She's like putting her like going like this like messing with her nose And we're like what's wrong? She was mommy mommy butts thing But it's sold her out brood come dude completely Where it's like all you bro, like you're fucking gangrel. Yeah, dude. Dude, just completely threw under the bus.

That's incredible. Mommy, butt stinks. It's like, what? You know what, it doesn't. Yeah, and now, smell it. Becca, you know, Becca's like, no one wants to be told their butt's, and especially kids like.

Did she just hop right back into the shower? No. No, she was like, my butt doesn't, I was like, I know your butt doesn't stink. I'm sitting right next to you, you know? did you sniff her butt? I didn't sniff her bow I would have had to know I mean I could smell I have a pretty good nose Look at this thing you think this thing can't smell from fucking eight kilometers away Yeah, yeah, so what was that about like what the no she stopped like two minutes later

I was like happy and like hanging out that was so strange so amazing It was so so so strange, but that's what happened is like Charlie wanted to like prove a point like oh, yeah, you're going to dinner watch this and he just fucking cock out and just peed all over stuff Yeah, it's takes always out though. He's a dog, so But yeah, I'm not it's like little like it's in its kennel. That's true. It's got a little sheath or whatever the hell It's exactly what it is. Yeah, he unsheaths his cock bro. you remember Chase's dick that shit was crazy wild that you asked that question but you know you know what I'm talking about it was red and I think it was purple though I think it was the reason it looked more red it was because he was white and gray

yeah so like when you saw contrast dude the contrasts of like dude I had a little 28 pound dog that we just put down on so long ago that should had a Big old dick on him. I would like like it looked like a like a person's dick I wouldn't say big old dick. I would say well for his size per capita. It's a fat cock I would say it was too big like what are you gonna do with all that? You don't need all that cock, you know, I don't know but he used to fold up his dog been railing That dogs do that bro my dog Charlie doesn't hump because he takes after you they say dogs take after the personalities of their

owners what does that mean you're not a good humper brother that's not about being a brother shut the fuck up that's not about that he sees you up that's how fucking shitty your cock game is bro this dog sees Joey fucking hump and he's like does't like you know what I'm gonna do that no fucking stroke game is like fucking Shaquille O'Neal on the

back nine it's awful the back nine yeah what is that even me I honestly don't know I've heard that that's a golf turn you moron well stroke stroke yeah he plays basketball I know that's that's my point is that he's probably not a great golf player who knows I would like to see golf swing hello sweetheart I would love to see Shaq swing a golf club you're seeing Charles Barkley he looks like a fucking moron like yeah he like goes through surprise he hits the ball hey man mean, what are you gonna do? Whatever it works? Listen a big story that

Came out a couple weeks ago, and we actually haven't spoken about yet Yeah was in our backyard in your backyard. It's literally in my backyard literally under the yeah under my house under your backyard right were the your backyard right were the discovery of like Jewish tunnels Jewish tunnels yeah across Brooklyn yeah now listen let's let's preface this conversation with this we don't know what's going on we don't know what's going on we are very aware that you know they respected Jewish faith we respect all fates yeah no we do we do why are you doing I was thinking like Christianity, but no I respect everybody oh

Yeah, yeah, you know you respect all face legends So we're not gonna sit here and allow that the the operations of some to dictate what happened You know change our view on the whole we also don't know what's going on. No, right? I don't know but but We don't know. We don't know. I don't know. But. But. Tunnels are shady. Tunnels are crazy. Tunnels are sus. And anyone going through a tunnel is hysterical.

Yeah. How do you not expect us to talk about this in some capacity? Yeah, of course. I mean, there's Jewish people in underground tunnels. Like, what are we talking about? Yeah. Also, can I just say something before we get into like what could have,

like we don't know what the hell was going on in those tunnels, but what I do want to talk about is the fact. We're not going to pontificate. Yeah, whatever that means. But I do want to say that I do like tunnels. Bro, you know how cool- Why are tunnels illegal though?

Well, because I think like, like they can like fuck with the infrastructure and like the security and the stability of buildings and shit if they're just a hollowed fucking tunnel underneath I guess that's true also you can't have access to the city pipes you know what I mean no what's going on in there bro I don't know I could turn them off like and then like you can't just go underground and turn off pipes Joey I don't fucking know that we're I haven't underground. I'm sure there are valves

Exactly valves, but like it's not gonna affect the whole city like you know turns up and often someone in like the upper Bronx is like What the fuck yeah, I do think that though, but you're wrong Okay, but yeah, I mean, but I do think tunnels are cool like I would like to be in a tunnels are pretty sick I haven't been in a tunnel and I don't even know how long to be honest Dude, why don't they make like adult playgrounds? Like I'm not talking about like kid playgrounds like you know like a good McDonald's the Donald used to have like play places and You know Burger King you have those are great sick play places slide into the ball pit. You leave with a fever It's amazing place in the world You know and someone just wrote like just like something wild about like Hispanics and the like top crazy, but make adult ones.

Right. So what is an adult like? Just bigger. Like I shouldn't have to get on my hands and knees to go through these cool tunnels and like make them like adult sized slides. Bro, if I go down like a spiral slide, I'm not even kidding. I get stuck. I'm too big Yeah, cuz it's too sharp of a turn

I'll tell you something about the fucking slides out there in the world when the Sun hits them Cooks them. He eats them up. I've slid down a slide In my 20s when the Sun was out and I was like my asshole is raw Yeah, they just beat red. I will say that they're a little bit better now. Like when we were kids, they were metal. Like a lot of the ones now are like a plastic polymer or some shit, you know, where like they don't heat up

nearly as bad as fucking a literal mirror. Yeah. You know. Those things are fucked up. But yeah, I don't know if you're gonna have, if you're gonna, you know, get people on board with the adult playground. Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. There's a playground at the end of your street,

you're telling me you would just go and just run through like little tunnels and. I'm saying if there was an indoor playground where you can like have a couple beers and then go down a fucking spiralized slide. You know? What is, with the spiral? Why do people love spiral staircases also? Like they're cool, I've had one there, all right, but they're not they're not it's just weird because you don't realize you're not moving at all

Like you're just walking like this. Yeah, I don't like like to me. That's like dumb I'll be honest my love for spiral staircases began with Casper Casper Casper you remember that movie I do remember the movie then like they have the thing where like the the stair like the Treads like drop and it becomes like a slide. Oh, yeah, but they're in like a little cart. Aren't they? Yeah, still cool. Oh, yeah, that's fire. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, if you're in a cart like in a little go-kart That's fire. Yeah, like a like a roller coaster or whatever. You know I'm saying Like a mining cart like like Harry Potter shit. Like Donkey Kong Country.

Okay, you don't know what I'm talking about. I do, I just don't need more examples. But spiral staircases though are just kind of like, I don't know, people like getting Matt Horney for them. And I'm just like, I mean, it's pretty cool. You don't realize how much space a staircase takes up. Yeah, because think about it, a staircase has to go like that.

So you lose the space here, the space here, the space underneath. Spiral staircase just goes up. I guess. I'm more into poles. Like poles as a way to transportate. Transportation? Did you just say transportation? What's wrong with you?

Come on. We got shows coming up. You can't be saying shit like that! Figure it out! What did I mean to say? Transport! You had it in the word! But if I'm like, if I'm doing the moving... You're transporting. Yeah, yeah.

Or you're being transported. Or as a mean of of a means of transportation I guess yes, yeah, that's why I like polls. I like that But like you can't get up a pole Magic coming home can't get up a pole That's magic coming home drunk one night, and you have to get up a fireman's pole Come on. Have you slid down a pole of fireman's pole not like a big old fat one I slid down an actual fireman's pole. Really? Why would they do that?

Why would I? Just put stairs in there, brothers. It's quicker. Shoo. I know. Just a wild thing to commit to. Yeah. You know, just like, we don't need there. You're already doing a cool job.

When my dad was a fireman, he said that your dad slid down, slid down the pole. Of course, he was a fireman for many years. Oh. So he did a lot of sliding. He'd be like a fucking wrecking ball going down that pole now but yeah I was able to slide down it was it was a lot of fun did they have a Dalmatian they did not bullshit well it's not a comic book it's real life Frank you know they have a dog no I don't know bullshit I don't know but what they did do is they played a prank on this guy and they were like,

I bet you this guy could pull you up the fireman pole like area with one arm. Like I bet you could do it with one arm. The guy's like no fucking way. So they tied a rope around his waist and they had the other guy, they had like five guys up there and they pulled them up halfway and they just tied him off and then just threw shit. They just like threw shit out of him. Love a good prank. Dude, the firemen, like those stories that my dad used to tell me, they used to prank each other all the time. You think there were any firemen in there that were like sucking and fucking each other?

Maybe not your dad. There was a... There was a story that came out that like a whole firehouse was like doing that or something. Dude, that's how you build camaraderie, you know? Like you go out there, you're not gonna let someone you know You're not gonna let someone die that's fucking giving you the best top of your life You know what I'm saying it's like no we can't let you die you suck a good dick Get back in there Jeremy's still in there

Your handjobs are too good The also he told me this story one time too that there was this guy, I guess he was like a fat guy or something like that. Commit, commit. Say he's fat. No, I think there was something about him being like, gross or like, sweaty or something like that. They like tied this one guy to a chair and put him like on the sidewalk and then had a his the other guys underwear Like that gross guys underwear on a fishing pole Oh, and they just would they were like on top of the building just slapping them in the I was like what the fuck goes on like when there's no fires I guess that fucking thing that people don't realize when there's nothing to go out for they're just sitting there

Just fucking being dudes and yeah, and ladies can do 48 hour shifts, that's it. That's wild. Can you imagine? Can you imagine working? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I can. Yeah, you can, can't you? You do have some sponsors for today.

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Sorry my voice almost came out on me because I'm talking too much. It's a sign from God. I don't believe in God Maybe I do I don't know I'm having an existential crisis the basement yard calm What the fuck is going on dude? Just like... It's a thing. Shut the fuck up dude. Just shut the fuck up. What the fuck is he saying? I don't believe a guy, what are you talking about dude? What the fuck? I don't know what I believe it

Do you think you're gonna get like religious on your deathbed? I hope not why not actually I don't know I probably because I'll be a little bitch and I'll just be like you know what after all those jokes I'm good now Come on. I love my way dude. Maybe yeah those jokes yeah I'm good now but yeah but go to the basement.com check out the new website sign up for email alerts and you get notifications on you know live show announcements and all that and listen by the time this is coming out if you're a patron you have access to this before anybody else and we're in the middle of our live shows so Montclair by the time you see this, Dunzo, gone. Who knows if it went well? But New Haven and Boston, go check out the basement yard.com, submit your conversation pieces that you want us to talk about. It's a fun interactive

show. Go check it out right now. All right, I'm done. I'm done. Yeah. How do we, we went from talking about the Jewish tunnels to talking about your dad dangling shitty diapers in like guys' faces and stuff. Yeah, I forget why we got on the floor. I think the funniest thing that came out of it was the guy who was like tweeting weeks in advance. Like there's Yiddish being spoken under my apartment. He's like, I'm hearing Yiddish under my floor.

On the ground floor, there is no basement. Underneath me is people are speaking Yiddish. That would freak me out. Bro, as people are speaking Yiddish. That would freak me out. Bro, any language, forget Yiddish, but the fact that Yiddish is tied to a pretty prominent religion would freak me out even more. Yeah, because I'd be like, am I being haunted by Hebrew ghosts? Yeah, exactly. What's going on here? Exactly.

That would be terrifying. It would. And then any sort of ghost would really do me in. Have you ever had any like supernatural experiences or? We've talked about this briefly not really you know. I not like there were times where I saw something I was like what the you know but not like every now and then on my TikTok for you page like it'll pop up like scary paranormal sites and it'll have that like scary sound effects where it's like

You know I like that it is a little freaky I don't like when people are walking in the woods with their flash on and shit bro Don't walk in the there's a tick tock account where a guy just like walks to like abandoned places and like the middle of like an open field And it's like an abandoned schoolhouse, and it's like don't dude. Yeah, don't do that There's there could be ghouls. What are your favorite like tiktok sounds? I really like the one where it's like It's always about like a scary underwater thing. It's like the ocean. It's like yeah The waves are just crashing onto this boat, which by the way fucking terrifying listen Thalysophobia, I believe it's what it's called. It's like fear of like the open water or something like that. Fuck that listen right now brothers Frank we're up to four brothers by the way in this episode, and I'm about sick of it

All right, what do I'm doing it? What do you mean? We're four brothers talking bro. Yeah four brothers That was a good movie. That was a pretty good movie. Yeah RIP yeah to who go watch a movie again. Oh, yeah I mean, I'm gonna give it away for the people here. Yeah, but you know sad scene sad. Yeah, it was a good movie good movie good movie good movie Yeah, dude where it's like are you scared of the ocean and it's like, oh, are you scared of the ocean? And it's like, someone go- I saw one. You ever see those videos where they're on big-ass fucking ships, and they have to like use like a sledgehammer to like, knock a fucking, uh, uh, an anchor?

Like a giant anchor into the water? That's cool, though. I saw one where they strapped a GoPro to the anchor. No. Let me tell you, the most know- Why Why was there a bunch of shocks? Just just just just like you don't know you know what I mean it gets down there and then it's just like you know what I'm saying like it's just looking around and there's just nothing but there's something I'd be I actually scared to like I think that would actually scare me to like

have a camera in the water and like see shit Yeah, I wouldn't go in because imagine you see like a mermaid Are we talking like scary looking yeah, yeah Like some fucking fire of herial rose by and she's like of age and then like Totally different but seeing one with like devil teeth and shit Yeah, bro like the ones in fucking yo. They'd be like, yo. That's totally different, but seeing one with like, devil teeth and shit. Yeah, but like the ones in fucking Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? They go, you know what I'm saying? Ew, yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, ew. Oh, don't like that. Yo, his hair in that movie? So fucking stupid. Yeah, it's very big. It looks like a bird's nest. Bro, I saw something. It was like, it was like everyone's celebrating that fucking they won and then Cedric Diggory's

dad's like Bye bye! My son! God, I want to watch those movies again so fucking bad. I just watched them recently I think. Don't care. You know what's TikTok sound I really really like? Where it'll be like only 90s kids will remember these snacks and it's like Wee woo woo woo woo woo

You've lost me, I don't know what you're doing. It sounds like an old like video game synthy sound. Okay. Wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee- Many of them. I don't I don't think I've ever had them like with them I think I've had them like one like you know the kid that got like bullied in elementary school put him in like the Goodie bag to give away The worst ones are you talking at what goodie bag you've like left out so much of context in that whole statement like for their birthday What do you mean? Oh, yeah for like their birthday to be like oh, it's fucking Timmy's birthday and everyone's just just like, okay, Timmy. And they give you a goodie bag and it's just the worst stuff in it. It's like a slinky that just breaks

as soon as you pull it apart. You know? Wow, slinkies. You know? But yeah, the worst ones are you ever see the wax soda bottles? I don't get it. Is it candy?

It's like a liquid in it. It's just sugar in it. And you like bite the top off and drink the sugar. I didn't even even know that I thought that you just ate it. I would eat it dude Circus peanuts wax anything for gummys yeah throw them out dude also The dots that come on the paper. They're not good. Oh I haven't had them in a long time, but I remember liking them quite a bit. But it's like dumb though. It's just weird because you put a fucking roll of paper to your face like this and you

pick off dots with your mouth. Yeah, I don't like them. I don't like it. I'm also drooling all over paper when I'm eating this fucking thing. Yeah, and then bro, I remember, we really were like we had an embarrassment of riches with like snacks and shit like that Well, I was robbing these stores for those too. So oh, I mean, I'm just saying like what was available not like oh We were paying for oh, yeah, not a lot. Yeah, no no no no I would pay for the slushy and I would take the rest of the candy

Yeah, I was like, oh, can you make me a slushy with every single flavor and then while he was back there it was just you know I'll take all this gum now Man the good old days. We should rob something soon. No, we shouldn't no we definitely shouldn't You go do it. I'm out here. It's such a rush. I'm out here fucking stealing my wife's heart every day robbing that bitch. Oh That's nice to cap that off with calling her a fucking bitch Robin that bitch. Oh, that's nice to cap that off with calling her a fucking bitch For you she wasn't who what like you're you not not my wife. Oh our fans are bitches

Okay, now you guys all right, okay, okay? Take it the fuck easy dumbass Okay, so also I want to talk about the fact that something happened This was a while ago at this point But like I still want to bring it up. But people were on like a flight to God, who cares? And the exit door just ripped off. I saw that. And then the thing that freaked me out more than anything is that there was footage of the door

just being off this plane. And the plane going. Well, that's the first thing is like, I thought if that happened, everyone's just getting sucked out of the hole, but that can't be true. It can't be, dude. Because like that wasn't happening, one.

And two, when people go skydiving, like the door's open and they're not gonna suck down. Well, the difference is because airplanes are pressurized. How do you think people skydive? In non pressurized planes Joey? They just go up they don't they're not going 30,000 feet like a normal plane. No, they're going like 15 maybe Yeah, yeah, I know they don't go that high. Yeah, and the airplanes are pressurized Yeah, people can like breathe and like there's like temperature control and stuff on there

So like when when they're in a fucking skydiving plane and they open that hatch Yeah, it's like win city in there. Yeah, it's fucking crazy brother. I've been into It's crazy brother. I've been indoor skydiving very difficult. I would love to go bro. Did you There's a woman who didn't have to solve her legs and she went indoor skydiving and her legs rolled over the place. But kudos to her for being like paralyzed and being like I'm going indoor skydiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey man, never let her hold you back. I'm all about that. Yeah, me too.

But funny video though. Yeah, maybe tie them together at least Maybe hog-tie your legs if you're gonna like They're all over the place Wild and she even said it like passing the issues. There's my legs. They're going crazy Bro, if I was on a flight like that, bro Well, first of all Do you like, you're not supposed to, do you, like anytime you get up and get down,

like the bathroom or something, do you always get buckled, or do you only buckle like when it tells you to buckle? Um, and also that buckle? Not saving me. That thing is here, I could slip out of that son of a bitch.

Yeah, I mean If it was a fucking like, you know They're not gonna strap you in like that Who are you? Then I got a strap you in like it's a roller coaster, dude Well, I mean if there's ever a time that would be the fucking time on a plane when you're flying 500 feet You know 500 miles per hour through the air. Well, you don't really need it to be like that secure I guess yeah, I think it's because it's pressurized

Bro, did I ever tell you by the time we were on our way the first time we went to Miami together on the wall? The only time we went to Miami together second first On the way back. I saw like the pressurized like they like missed And I was like, what are you talking about? So like I missed on the plane. Yes, but it was like it was like the air But because it was pressurized in there It looked like it was like fog like it's falling down. Okay, and I was like, oh my god. This is it Why they're poisoning you I was like, this is how we die. Yeah, really? I was like either they're poisoning us or like we're going down

You know like some like like because I think it was around the time that like that Malaysian flight just went missing. Oh. So I was like, this is terrifying. Yeah, dude. You know? I don't really like any of that shit. I forgot who it was, but someone told me once that they were on a flight where the masks dropped.

If that happens, I'm going to pass out in time. Yeah, those math. Even if we're safe. I love how they're just like, in the event of an emergency, calmly put this thing over your face, put a bag behind it, pull this thing. Also do yours before you do your child's. No, zero.

Kind of advice is that. Zero percent. What kind of advice? I understand the idea of like you won't be able to do your child's if you don't do yours first but like as my fucking poor kid is gasping for air. Yeah. I'm like, you know, no way. Also the interesting thing about that video when the door

ripped off no one everyone was just sitting there I would literally be like oh no dude just freaking out the first of all you better give me a free drink free drink dude I'm so I'm dramatically oh yeah yes oh yeah that that is a fact taking the whole airline down yeah it's gonna be called fucking Frank Delta that's what it's gonna be cold exactly from the I would be oh my god oh my god and then like then you need to start then it turns into like the Hunger Games

like hold on to yourself your loved ones But like if someone else is going you only got two hands. Yeah, I can I'm saying there was another that happened Like to another flight. I think it was in like Singapore or something like that I don't know but it was like someone was filming and the emergency door went out also when you think about this Well, I think on this flight. There was no one in the emergency row The other one there was people in the emergency row. So the wind is like, wind. It's obviously like crazy. And they're sitting, you're sitting in a chair

and the plane is open right there. No. It's not happening for me. I'm never getting on a plane ever again. No. Over land, I would not happening for me. I'm never getting on a plane ever again. No Overland I would be like Okay, like I'd be fucking upset don't get me wrong But like if this happened over the ocean. Oh, yeah, holy because like

Like then you look out and you see just nothing this, you know what I mean like that's way Start to freak ourselves out by the the way, getting on a plane. Oh, at night? At night? At night? Get on a plane? Two weeks. Just gotta put that out there.

Yeah, we're getting on a plane very soon. Well, I'm getting on. You're not getting on. That's true. You'll be safe. Yeah, I'll be fine. But yeah, I'll be fine too. Yeah, I know.

For you, we're with planes. You always think it's gonna blow up or something. Like I said, I need to bring myself mentally to a place of like understanding that I've agreed to be here what happens happens I will do my best to prevent it. You ever thought of like just like grab a big blanket and then just like kind of hold it and fall down and stuff like that? Yeah except this isn't Aladdin and this is real life and you'll just end up being dead. But like why? Realistically I would give it a shot. I'm right? Like a do you get to lose? Like a last ditch effort, maybe if I just,

just anyone got an umbrella? Like a really strong umbrella? Can you imagine? Why hasn't anyone invented that? Like Mary Poppins umbrella? I, you have to imagine it exists somewhere. By the way, Google has an umbrella that you could just jump from high things.

But like, I imagine it's not, like it needs to be incredibly strong because it's holding your weight. Yeah. But like, why not? Like thinking like a parachute? Like what if I just hold the strings? You know what I'm saying?

Gonna need some pretty strong grip there, fellow. What are you doing? No, what are you doing? No, what are you doing? It's just like this. Yeah unbreakable that this okay? I'm pretty sure it's breakable If I like really hold them and like hold them in my arms like this and I like do one of these I think I can hold a parachute No, I just know Frankie. No definitely no We're gonna get to the rest of these I think I can hold a parachute. No, I just know Frankie. No, definitely no We're gonna get to the rest of these ads here

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Enjoy. I have a hair that is right here. In your nose? It's like, no, it's like from my stash and like curl up. Oh, and it's poking up. It's poking me. Pull it out. I'm not pulling out my lip hair and like oh, and it's poking up. There's poking pull it out I'm not pulling out my lip hair. Why not cuz I'm scared. What are you scared of?

Pulling out here hurts. Well, come on. It's hair brother Dude I can feel it. How are you honestly give me an honest rating of brother. Do you like it? Oh my god, it's crawled right into my shit Just fucking I fixed it I don't know what the honest rating of brother you feeling it. Yes or no No, are you like trying it out? You're trying to see if like I don't know honestly I don't know. I'm trying a little a couple different things out, but I'm not sure yeah First of all, I just hiccup and you were hiccuping before yeah, Joey was making fun I hiccup then he goes you hiccup like Pinocchio. Yeah, because you're like, oh, I was like what the fuck is that you cartoon? Like what is that hiccup? Yeah, you you know what are you fucking what do you want

also don't hiccup like you also if Frankie has his weird ass way to try to not hiccup or he's like listen I'm gonna tell you right now I'm gonna give you Becca taught me this and it has worked every single time I have a theory as well okay well what's yours gonna be you fucking turn upside down you suck on a lemon nobody it does require turning upside down okay doesn't work it does though breathe in through your nose give it a sec breathe in again again again again okay exactly now hold for six seconds now slowly breathe it out of your mouth. Well you don't have hiccups right now.

That's true. What am I doing? Yes. It's not going to work out of you. No, mine is like this, right? Here comes Joey. He's like, you turn it upside down. You suck a fucking... No, you don't suck anything. You get a cup, you fill it with water, right? Like a normal amount. And then you bend over, right?

I'm listening, but I'm- You bend over, and then you drink out of the opposite end that you would, you know you drink out of this end? You drink out of this one. I can't be trying this some fucking Cirque du Soleil shit to drink water. You go like this, and then you drink the water, and it's like, I don't even know what it does.

It doesn't do anything, I guarantee you probably not what our hiccups It is a spasm of the diaphragm is that it's up. Yeah, hope so. Oh, I believe that's what it is I saw something one time that it was like it's like an it's like Evolutionarily like it is like stayed with us like when we were like part fucking fish or some shit like that Could be wrong. Ah, we were fish with hicc. Like how are we able to like breathe in the womb? They ain't no I don't understand no air in there They know where in there I don't understand that and we have like nose plugs right because they gotta put they gotta take The plugs out of their nose like the babies my thinking that what fucking plugs are in your baby's noses. No, that's not I think I don't remember

I don't think so pay attention. I guess but I mean I'm not inspecting my baby's nose when they came out what are you inspecting there's a fucking baby that just came out what else are you looking at they take a fucking TV yeah yeah you been in the room when there were fucking children being born no my thought exactly shut the fuck up and listen what I'm saying I'm saying the nurse takes the baby and they do some stuff to it Where on like in the room, but it's like on like a little like table thing You know they like weigh it officially they measure it officially they like to clean it up

They make sure there's no fucking meconium in their lungs and shit like this Macodium meconium is poop Is it yes But what's Macodium how's it different Maconium is like the first bowel movement of a baby's life. Oh my god, first poop to OG poop? Yeah, it's like black tar. That's what it looks like. Oh my god, disgusting. It comes out looking like black tar. And they shit in their own throat?

Well no, sometimes there are babies that they have their first mechodium in utero. Oh, they shit in the bag? And they shit in the bag and they're just like chilling with shit. Ew, that's bad, that's not good. I mean, but they just clean it out, it's okay. It's like, it happened for hundreds of thousands of years so like we have evolved to not die from it immediately. So you're telling me that the baby's in the wombs.

One, they can breathe underwater. Yeah, they're fucking. They can survive a shit in their fishbowl. Yeah, yeah're fucking they can survive a a they get survived living in their fishbowl Yeah, yeah, yeah, these things are incredible wild stuff, but then they're born and they're now they're easy to kill Well, I mean, I'm not I'm not thinking of them in terms of how difficult they are to kill I'm saying like there's more things that can like now you can drown because you're out here But in there you ain't drowning. Yeah, I mean there out here you eat your shit You dead there are people that believe in a more, you know holistic approach to childbirth where they're born in tubs, so they come from one

underwater Submarine vessel into the world already like underwater again, huh? And like they're just like oh, it's water still that's what you're supposed to do with fish when you like transfer tanks It's like you put like the bag in the water. Yeah, you like open it in the water So it's like oh, I'm in the same water. You're not you know, well fish are stupid Babies are I guess babies are kind of stupid, but yeah, meconium They like clean they have to like clean their lungs out and you know stuff like that. Oh, you know It's kind of crazy that like, isn't it,

like this is gonna sound like stupid. It is. This is true. I'm very ready. Yeah. Isn't it insane that a tiny baby has like a tiny heart and little lungs and like ribs. Yeah.

And it's like there's all little bones in there. So all their bones are not there yet. Well like they don't have like knees and shit, right? Some of them. Yeah, I don't think they got knees yet all their fingers their fingers and toes are all fucked up Yeah, like fat as their skull isn't closed. Oh my god. They're skulls disgusting Well slow down. They are though like yeah, they are they're pretty yeah, I remember with both soft girls with both girls I could see oh Yeah, I could see it was kind of cute I could see the pulse

through their soft spot I saw I think my nephew I saw his head move and I was like don't love that don't get it away from me I don't love the alien head moving they're all babies are just little aliens oh my god and then I love them people are just like oh my god they're beautiful they're an hour old they're not they're literally just aliens right now cycle wet rabbit They're little wet rats. That's what they are. That's what it is. Yeah, it's just like no And they're just like sticky Well, they get cleaned off so they're not like how do they clean up? They just like shoot them with water

Is that I don't I honestly don't remember if they like wipe them down. I think they give them like a little bath Okay, and they like just like fuck them up a little bit. You know, they're not good. Do they slap their ass? I don't remember honestly I can't really remember if they smacked either of the girls butts. Were you even there dude? I don't know anything dude. You'll understand this when you have children There's so much going on that it's like It's like a fucking roller coaster. I understand that, but if someone held my baby and slapped its ass, I'm gonna remember that.

I honestly, if they did, I don't remember. I remember- What's the point of slapping the ass? To get them to cry, open up their lungs. Oh, to make sure that- Yeah, they say that when like a baby is, like the first like two months of a baby's life, it's good that they like scream and cry

because it like they work they get it open guy like Yeah, so so you're slapping your baby's ass make it. Yeah, I'm just like, you know flicking around the ear Some like really just get it like you got to work those vocal cords out dog Maybe that's what maves doing in the middle of the night now. She's making sure that she I promise you bro yesterday She's walking around and she's happy, like walking around, living it up and she just looks at me and just goes, and then just went about her day at fucking like 6.30 in the morning.

Had no reason to scream, had nothing going on. I'm pretty sure she's teething right now, but like this kid is that she is, it's funny. Like we're gonna grow up and we're gonna be like, you know, Miles, when he was a little toddler, he was so active and playful and, you know, inquisitive. Ruby sits down and plays with dolls and like, you know, really loves, mate, legit.

We'll turn around for a split second. She'll be standing on that table and she'll just, she'll like try to like dive off head first and It's like Like what the fuck is going on? I love it these kids are psychopaths. I love when kids are just like fucking bro No, it's like oh, maybe I could kill myself with that over there. I'm gonna go do it. Yeah, love it Yeah, crazy, but my my niece and nephew like me now Good which is great. That's good. I mean, babies are weird.

One of the best feelings ever. I walk into my mom's house the other day. Uncle Joey, Uncle Joey, Uncle Joey. He ran at me, I got on a knee and I hugged him and I was like, oh. Yeah. This is good. I felt it for a second.

Now imagine when it's your kids doing it to you. I know. It's like, bro, it's like a legitimate drug. I don't think that you cry enough because I would be bursting into tears. You don't know how much I cry. You don't know, you don't know am I know. It's like, bro, it's like a legitimate drug. I don't think that you cry enough because I would be bursting into tears. You don't know how much I cry. You don't know, you don't know am I crying. You don't know where, when I wear I cry.

I would be bursting into tears, gosh. Bro, I read fucking The Giving Tree to Ruby one night. Ooh. It sawed like a baby. Did you? Like a fucking baby, dude. Like not like a cute sexy, like a, you know, like a, like not like a cute sexy like a you know like a

You know what I'm talking about those cries where you're like get like you're like praying you don't die in the middle of it Yeah, you know like for some reason your jaw just like yeah Yeah Why because it was just like a beautiful book you read the giving tree I haven't seen it haven't in a while If you're nice or nephew nieces or nephews don't have it someone chops down the tree if your nieces or nephews don't have the book Go go buy it. Okay, get it for them because it is like it's a beautiful book. Oh my god She'll Silverstein hits it at the was that him him yeah, I like shell Silverstein Nice is he a good guy? I don't you know is that one of you had some there's some stuff I think someone beat their wives one of those guys. I can't confirm nor deny if Mrs. Silverstein got beat

Hell book though. Yeah Guy was a poet great. Oh, it was a weird name though. We can say that I don't I'm sure it wasn't his real name Is there like a Jewish name? Well, he was a black man. What? You didn't know Shell, I'm pretty sure Shell Silverstein was black. Really?

Silverstein, I went immediately to Jewish. Oh, this is why I was confused because this is the picture that's in the book and like I can't tell. That is a very ambiguous looking person. Right, that's what I'm saying. It's hard to tell. That's Shel Silverstein?

He looks not black in some of these pictures. But he's not Jewish. But he does, no, Silverstein. Are you back on my team? I honestly, I don't know where I am right now Whatever he was he was very talented. He could definitely write a poem I'll say and whatever he was he is no longer because he is dead. Yeah, he's super dead. Yeah Shell Silverstein, are you not on Wikipedia right now? Oh my god. This is not what I thought this person looked like at all

I'm saying like born in Chicago Oh doesn't look like at all. That's what I'm saying, like born in Chicago. Oh shit, during his rise to prominence in the 1950s, his illustrations were published in various newspapers and magazines, including the adult-oriented Playboy. He was in Playboy? Damn, well his drawings were in Playboy. Dude, he's Jewish. Sheldon, we're idiots.

I am dumb. Sheldon. Sheldon Allen Silverstein, born to a Jewish family in Chicago in 1930 damn this motherfucker died in Key West Pretty good place to pass out 1999 hell of a year almost made it to 2000 must have been pissed about that or no Maybe he thought the world was ending you know now that was 2012, babe. 19 2000 people were y2k Joe. Oh, was oh he was 69 What was 68? 60 was 68 though didn't even make this six nights birthday is later in the year

All right, well listen we love shell Silverstein and that's the whole reason why we did this episode there's stuff about him. We're torn Can we separate the art from the artist we don't know because we don't know what it is separate the poems from the poet Yeah, exactly, you know the shell or Sheldon is really the real question. That's right But anyway, that is all for this week's episode Frank. Where can they find you about there's a little you probably don't There you go go check it out and the patreon patreon.com There you go. Go check it out. And the Patreon. Patreon.com.

Patreon.com. Guys, go follow the show at the Basem yard on TikTok and Instagram and go to the Basem yard.com to stay up to date on show dates in the future. And that is all. See you guys next time. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.