The Basement Yard - #456 - Hampton's Joe Is Back

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Let's go to the Hamptons! Sponsor The Basement Yard: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/the-basement-yard Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the base- BASS BASS BASS Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank, how's it going? Come on, come on What? Come on, this has gotta be a bit

What? This is a bit, right? Cause I'm wearing sunglasses? Hold on, guys, hold on This is the thing I'm coming off a rose bender You're coming off of, clearly, maybe even a fucking cocaine bender. Cause where's your head right now? No. Positioning yourself like this.

What are you wearing? Shorts. Cause that makes sense in fucking 85 degree weather. You're wearing shorts and a sweatshirt. Which, by the way, what the hell is that stain on there? I was hoping you couldn't see that. I couldn't see it, okay. Well, I-

You picking this up here? I spilled some ice coffee on it this morning, but I feel like it was going away. Can I- Yes. When- when did you spill it? On the way here? No, no, I was in the parking lot. Oh, so it wasn't like you could have changed- but you have a shirt under there that you- I do.

But you- so- you're doing the Keith! I'm sporting- That's what you're doing! Well- You're doing the Keith where you have a fucked up piece of clothing and you purposefully leave it to draw some conversation in. I mean I feel like I just like committed to the gray crew neck look. You've also clearly committed to- because I know you were in the Hamptons this weekend, you committed to full douchebaggery.

Well- Glasses- sunglasses inside. Well, that's not why. Sunglasses. Are those rape? What did you just say? Cheetah prints? I was going to say Ray-Bans.

Oh, I thought you, you, it sounded like you were driving an R right there. No, no, no, no. I was like, no, no, no. That's all. Once the cameras are off, I'll fire that off at you. Don't. I'm kidding. I wouldn't.

Oh, I think we're talking about different ours, by the way. I'm talking about the one that, you know, someone forcibly does something to someone. Oh! That's what I thought you said. No, no. Because you said Ray-Bans, but you stopped. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What are you asking me?

Are those Cheetah print? And are those Ray Bans? No. They're not Ray Bans, they're not cheetah print. They are stupid. They're a print, but I don't know. Yeah, whatever the print is. A little cheetah though. And the backwards hat, which I'm gonna take a wild guess

because you have three hats. Right. That's a raised hat. Correct. Yeah, okay. So, what happened to you this weekend? Did you get like forcibly touched by like the hand of someone named like Cheston or someone? Why would that have any...

You've come back full douchebag. First of all, let's fucking take it easy. I'm shocked I'm not seeing Sperry's. Sperry's are in his immediate future, folks. Let me tell you. No. They're in your closet They're not in mine. They are so you could stop Frankies now, but I've been wearing Sperry's you're yelling out to a mirror. I

Spilled some coffee on me. It was cold out this morning. I was up early It was a little windy So I threw on this and a pair of shorts and I plan on going on the gym when I get back and I spilled some Coffee because it got A little shaky on the road. I'm wearing sunglasses because the lights are bright and I was drinking rosé Exclusively for the last three days. That's the explanation. I will say at least you are committing to the bit I mean this it's not often that someone goes like full douche and You're you're just you're like lounged up in a fucking dirty bunch

the way that you're douche in it right now. So. And you think you're so cool because you're wearing a fucking Tony Gwynn Jersey. Yes I am, that's Mr. Baseball for you bitch. Oh. Mr. Padre actually. We get it, he doesn't strike out, it's sick.

Well, I'm pretty sure he's dead. So he did eventually strike out. Yeah. No one runs from that picture. That curveball could be in the dirt you're swinging at it. Let me tell you. Exactly. Speaking of curveballs, I don't know if this is a curveball, but listen, okay?

There is a documentary coming out that we created. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We filmed a documentary. I'm being, you know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Show those beautiful green eyes, somehow. My what? Your eyes are your strongest face part.

Face part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take it, I think I have nice eyes. You do have very nice eyes. Thank you, you have a great hairline. Thank you so much. I actually love your hair a lot. Imagine your eyes, my hairline. Thank you so much. I actually love your hair a lot Imagine your eyes my hair hair. It would be neither of our penises But we shot a documentary

This was weeks ago because it takes a while to edit one of those things not that we did it But we shot it. We watched it and went, oh, very critical. Yeah, we're gonna fucking destroy this. Yeah, no, I'm kidding. But we shot a documentary about our entire journey up until this point, and the reason behind that is at the end of it, we are announcing our biggest show in New York City, and I know we've been teasing that for the longest time.

And people are like, where the fuck are the dates for that? We're finally going to get them. June 26th. It's a Wednesday. We're going to drop it on the Basement Yard YouTube channel at 7 a.m. like we would a normal episode. But yeah, so Wednesday, June 26th is when the documentary is going to come out. I mean, there are people who are seeing this, I believe on the 17th, on Patreon, because

they get every episode a week in advance. So you guys have to wait a little longer. But once this goes out to the public, in two days, June 26th, 7am, we are dropping a documentary about our entire journey, you know, just talking about, you know, how we met and, you know, kind of behind the scenes types of things and then it all leads to the announcement of our New York show, which we're super excited for. And people have been very antsy to hear.

I think any post that we have put up about any show, new, past, whatever, it's always, New York, New York, New York, please. Where's the fucking New York show, you bitch. Usually is how I get it. We wanted to award you for your patience and kindness That's why Joey showed up looking just like he's straight out of the wolf of Wall Street's rejected sequel the sheep of New York, but That joke sucked and the glasses are going back on is that joke sucked Went on before the joke came out bitch. I was anticipating a bad joke

Yeah, no, but look seriously we we wanted to you know just kind of add a little more spice pizzazz because that joke sucked. Last one all before the joke came out, bitch. I was anticipating a bad joke. Yeah, no, but look, seriously, we wanted to, you know, just kind of add a little more spice pizzazz. This is a big moment for us. We wanted to make it feel like a big moment for you guys as well that have helped us get here. So that circle is coming all the way back around, that full circle moment,

and you'll see part of it when it comes out. Yeah, we're super excited. We think it looks really cool. We've been spending the last month sort of editing it, not physically. No, just with words. Pointing at somebody else. Yeah. Right.

Editing it with our brain and letting someone else do it with all their hard work. To be fair, in house. We keep it all in house. That's right, babe. We're really excited for you guys to see this. And like I said, the announcement for the New York City show will be in that. it will have at the end at very at the at the yeah but you

have to watch the whole time right I don't know yeah you do yeah but like all the information that you need so like when the tickets will go on sale you know the pre sale general sale all that type of shit, where it gets, everything will be in there. So yeah, June 26th, just look forward to that. We worked really hard on it. And yeah, we're just fucking excited for that New York show. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, so we'll see what happens

when it comes out, how it is received. Maybe we get Oscar nominations, you know, that has been, we have shopped this around to a couple of film festivals and we've already gotten a couple standing ovations. Yeah. Six, seven minutes standing ovations. We haven't done any of that. We got a call from Ron Howard, who he famously directed the one of the best Christmas movies. Take that fucking word out of there. One of the best movies of all No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Take that fucking word out of there. One of the best movies of all time. Oh, the...

How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Exactly, with Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey really crushed it. Jeffrey Tambor, there's some stuff there, but in that movie he's pretty good. Who's Jeffrey Tambor? He plays the mayor! Oh, okay. Yeah!

Not bad. Pretty good. Honestly, I'm pretty surprised at how good that was. Yeah. But go check out some of the other Ron Howard produced Stuff and then what else did he do? Also Ron Howard not involved. So I don't want to get it Well, he was he was in obviously he was in happy days, you know, we knew that he was the narrator on Arrested Development

He has me. I'm starting to get disinterested. What do we do? Do we move on? Yeah, we can move on. Okay, good, okay. But yeah, all this to say, you know, I thought the coffee... and I don't know if you guys can see the coffee stain. Cause it's kind of light! And if they can't, we're gonna have Josh do some of his like really good editing

trickery to just enhance... We'd prefer if we didn't we did and no do it though Josh I don't like color correct it do it Are you go you know now people are gonna know what you're covering up, and I'll remind them through this whole episode It's an iced coffee all right I'm shocked you had did you wait to drink it until you got here in case it made you do a little fucking you know? Hacking a loogie out your fucking butt. No. You're big on like, coffee makes you like crap almost immediately.

If I haven't. But like usually in the morning I am very regular. So I'm up and it's- You're up and crappin'? Up and crappin' first thing in the morning. So if that happens and then I drink coffee, nothing happens, I'm just good. Do you find that the crap is really dependent

on the day prior, like what you ate and what you drank or is It pretty consistently just you know a consistent crap What am I at the doctor I don't know welcome back crap I don't even know how to answer that question that you just asked that question You should probably pay more attention to your crap to make sure there's nothing in there You have you do have a history of undiagnosed IBS. No, you think you're a doctor. I'm not a doctor.

I'm someone that has tummy problems. So then you're projecting for some reason, as I've been telling you for the last 10 years of your life. I am worried about you. Because I regularly go. No, but you don't just- And you've made up this thing of like, you get diarrhea all the time.

Doesn't happen. I know I should be getting diarrhea all the time, but like you, when you have to go, it's like you're ready to crap right now No, Frank you're holding on to something. I told you when I was 16 years old and you think 16 You're a sucker. That's what you do to me all the time bitch. No, I don't I tell someone that I My legs are fully scars and like this is most Frankie thing ever I say someone that I like the dark and you're like, this is most Frankie thing ever I say someone that I like that dark And you're like this is most Frankie thing ever when it is 13 you dumb bitch You also consistently bring up when I brought up this fucking lyrics to Ocean Avenue

Because it's what I was given as information because that was a flat-out lie. It wasn't a lie It's information that I conveyed no way I had convinced you think I was making up the words to Ocean Avenue the incredible song by Yellow card Yes, and the glasses came off if I could fuck you now things would be better that's what you try to convince me I was like let's be honest let's be honest and but again I'm being honest let's be honest about try that out I fuck you let's be honest about something does that sound like a crazy lyric not for the radio I know but that's why I

was done on the radio like a, it's like a love song. You don't say, if I can fuck you now, things will be better. Why? All love songs sometimes talk with fuck. Yeah, but you don't say fuck. You say like, hold you and caress you. But it was like punk rock. What is caressing, by the way?

How do you caress a person? With, like, you lightly, with like, you stroke with the tips of your fingers. I know, but like, you know when people do this thing, like on a side? I hate that. If anyone seriously does that to me, they're like an 18th century, like- Like what is that? I don't like that. Like if you did that, the women like that?

That's what James Bond villains do when they're like gonna like murder. There's like, oh Bond, this laser's gonna chop your cock off. You know, like that's what that is. That's not real. Yeah, I don't know that this is like sex. Have you ever seriously caressed someone? No. Uh...

Maybe like a, like a, like an inner thigh or something? Oh, shit. Hey. How do you do that? Okay, his first two fingers are out like this. So what are you doing? Oh, where'd you go? He went up like this! Where'd you go? No, no, no, I just went up to show you, like...

Oh, so what are you touching right now? Just so I'm- Like, inner thigh. Inner thigh. Right, but who, but where are the legs? Down? Okay, those are legs. What's that?

Oh, vagina. Okay, got it. Or I guess that way. I'm not quite sure the hand motions for ginas anymore. I understand the vagina's facing you. So, legs. Right, yeah. It's not just down. Down is weird. You need to throw a little like a caress is in the it's all

in the wrist. It's windy. It's like a windy motion. It's yes yes yes it goes with the with the wind. Yeah. And you need to like, just barely touch, like just like a. Right, so it's like a tickle. Oh, something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you like being tickled sexually? No. What?

I don't know. What, like in the middle of sex, like someone's like. No, I meant like, it's sort of like a caressing. I don't know. I don't see, yeah, me neither, I don't know. I don't know, why did you ask that, as if that's something you. I don't know, I didn't know if that was.

Is that what you're looking up now big tickle porn now your no porn guy No, but I have seen a tickle porn documentary Have seen that I think I told you about that, right? Yo, I think it was like during kovat But I like found out about it and I was like I have to watch this and then it was only available I had to pay money for it paid it you You paid money like 20 bucks to watch a documentary about tickle porn It was not about porn. It was about this like tickle underworld

where like dudes like want to be tickled but you have to like tie them up so they can't like defend themselves. No! What happens to a person... When they get too tickled? Over tickled? Yeah, like could that be damaging somehow? I imagine it could like... Because when I get tickled I'm like, bro,

I'm gonna fucking lose it. This might honestly, this might be a part of the human experience we haven't figured out yet. Because think about it like this. When you get filled with pee, you piss. When you get filled with horny, you cum. What happens when you get filled with tickle? Does your heart explode?

That's a possibility, absolutely. I would just start crying. I would think it's like, it becomes painful, you know? Like it's, possibility, absolutely. I would just start crying. I would think it's like it becomes painful, you know? Yes. It's like... It is kind of painful when you think about it. Yeah, like I don't like it. I don't think... being tied up and tickled sounds... first of all, I'm not ticklish.

Brutal. Period. Second of all... Really? Yeah, I'm not ticklish. Lucky. You're a ticklish boy? Definitely. Where are you most ticklish? My sides.

Oh! Like right here. Really? Yeah. So like realistically, what if like me, Greg, and Ahmed were to hold you down and start tickling you? I'd be honest with you, right? Yeah. If you- first of all, gayest thing ever.

Okay. But second of all- This is a tickled time with the basement boys. I think that if I had governmental secrets, right? All the fucking Russians or Chinese would have to do. with the basement boys. I think that if I had governmental secrets, right, all the fucking Russians or Chinese would have to do. What you very specifically named those two countries. Aren't those like our biggest enemies? Sometimes. All they would have to do is tickle me and I'd probably give up everything. Really? Yeah

so don't give me, don't tell me anything. They put you in like the you know like the fucking T-pose and then they just fucking, are they tickling you with their hands? Are they going feathers? Are they going? Feathers, yeah. Feathers. Actually, feather, I don't know if I'm tickling,

but like a hand, a good hand. One of these? Or like a long nail. Or like, are you like a ticklish because it's like just the tips are getting you or like if like someone were to like grab you? Both, both, both. Really?

I used to have really ticklish knees but that kind of like faded away. Oh, yeah, okay I used to have like very ticklish knees like if you grab my knee I'd be it's like I was fucking getting ejected from really ship Yeah, I feel like I knew someone like that once but it was like a horny thing like they were just like yo someone touches my knees I'm fucking yoked. Isn't that weird? That is a weird thing to get horny But people get horny from different things Yeah, you would think the human experience should be like this is the horny parameters. It's not just genital touching It's like you could like break like get someone's elbow and they're like, oh fuck, you know what I'm saying? But like some people have that so you know some women don't fucking point at me

You know some women could get a orgasm just from nipple play. I've heard of that percent Can you imagine just this your way into a fucking fuck dude? There's one there's one button for my my gazes and that's the fucking penis. That's the penis. It's the penis But there's nothing else like and if there is, I don't want to figure it out. Like I'm really cool with what I got going for me right now. I would, if I had like cool nipples, I could see nipple play being a big thing. You're kind of a nipple guy. You are.

I don't know that I'm a nipple guy. I wouldn't say, I don't want to, you know, I think the community would be like, bro, you're not a nipple guy. You know what I don't know that I'm a nipple guy. I wouldn't say, I don't wanna, you know, I think the community would be like, bro, you're not a nipple guy. You know what I'm saying? I think compared to you, like, the nipples, the nipple people will come free. Yeah, they're like, bro, you're not one of us.

Like, you're relaxed. Stay in your lane, bitch. Yeah, yeah, you're not actually a nipple guy. Chill out. Is there like a whole fucking lane of nipple people? Bro, there's a lane for everything. Doing OPL has taught me that. Oh yes, that's right, go check it out. So, you know, I wish I had like a...

You had more. You wish you had more. I wish I had just like a cool... Maybe I was like really into like hands or something. You know what I mean? There are those people that are like super freak feet fetishes. Yeah, and like I don't like feet so I don't want it to be that one, but if it was like hands or like something. Hands. You know what I love? No.

This. Oh the top, over boob? Like a bub boob? No. I'm up here. Oh. I mean unless you have gigantic tits. Well some tits are big.

I know, but I'm set. That's great too. But like this part of a woman, it's something like French. It's not like just the collar bones, it's like the whole thing. What's it called? Like somewhere to D.

A darp. Not a guess game, not a guess game. But I like this part. I get that, like if a horny woman were to send you a picture, you'd want it to be like Like a towel and then like this No, no, I mean I'm not thinking in the terms of pictures I'm picturing like you know when women wear halter tops. I don't know what that I don't know either

I think that's wrong. I think that's the first word. I thought I don't know but like when women wear dresses that are like the Straps are here. Yeah, so they're down. Yeah, so their whole Shoulders your shoulder guy you said this before older Clavicle bones neck this and a little bit of like oh, yeah Love that for sleeves cleavage in there too, or you're not even at the cleavage yet. Uh, it doesn't have to be okay It's just this is a good part. Okay, you know know what I mean and like think about this right think about you're screaming by the way Think about this okay think about women wearing like a something with straps. Yeah The different when they do this and that is like when they oh my god when they do like the Kurt Angle take the straps

Down and shit like that tan or something. or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, whoa! Whoa! I hear what you're saying, yeah. Because even like for a second, like if you just watch. Even if, oh, here. Just this. When it falls off and they have to pick it back up.

See what I'm saying? You get it. Like see the shoulders. I'm not picking up what you're putting down there. Yeah, okay. For some reason. And also you can see 99% of the shoulder when it's just like a little spaghetti strap. But for some reason when they go like this, you're like, oh my God.

It's, yeah, I know what you're saying. The shoulder, spaghetti straps, yeah. You remember those were, well, you know, well, middle school, were they banned in your middle school? What? Spaghetti strap shirts. Absolutely not. I know they probably were,

but those fucking crazy Dominicans you went to school with were just like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, there was spaghetti about. I remember it was a big thing in my middle school and high school, high school, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, there was spaghetti about. I remember it was a big thing in my middle school and high school, I didn't bring up high school for you because you went to a school that had uniforms. But like it was just like the short skirts and the spaghetti straps, like no fucking way.

Dude, you would have thought spaghetti straps? Teachers spoke about spaghetti straps as if they were fucking signs that just said like, come on, come get some you know What I mean like the way it was so strange and now I mean I can't speak to now But like back in the day spaghetti straps were like the biggest no-no Yeah for fucking middle school and high school girls to wear I remember when I was in middle school also the like the jeans that had no pockets and was like

Oh my is it basically seen a butt jeans that had no pockets. I was like, oh my. It was basically seeing a butt. Jeans that had no pockets. No back pockets. Like no pockets on the butt. Just jean? It was just jean the whole way? Yeah. Oh, okay.

It was a lot of the Spanish girls wore them. I bet. Love that. Yeah, they got it from ABC Clothing. I know, I knew about those. Yeah, I knew exactly about those. I remember being like, and then also you see someone wear pockets on their jeans after you've seen jeans with no pockets,

and you're like, oh, I'm outta here. It's like, get the fuck outta here. You're basically wearing like three pairs of pants at that time. Pockets are a big thing in the lady community. Dress pockets. Bro. They got no pockets. Becca will like buy something,

and she'll be like, that's beautiful. You look great in it, and then she'll go, here's the kicker. Pock's the kicker pocket. It's a fucking game changer for ladies They came first of all ladies by the way have nature's pocket so now they want more pocket Yeah, without women just want all the pocket. Yeah, they want what do you want their room you want to be pocket equals here? Yeah, it's crazy But I will say mm-hmm I Don't even like I've heard I've heard women say like they complain like oh, I wish this thing had pockets whatever

Maybe it's just my experience, but I don't really think women use pockets like that. I think we're using pocket Well, here's the thing. I think women have been fucking trained to not use pockets They've got the guineas and then they've got fucking handbags. I can almost guarantee, I'm speaking on behalf of the women here, which is what we do here at the basement yard. Which is what we do as straight men, we speak on behalf of women. That's right, baby, the American way. Speak for the people that you are not, the community you're not a part of.

Yeah. I think women have been told their whole lives, you're not getting pockets, here's an entirely separate bag. Right. And you got tits, you got burguinas, you don't need any getting pockets. Here's an entirely separate bag, right? And you got tits you got burguiners You don't need any more pockets and then for men they were like You need something take all the pockets. Yeah cargo shorts 15 pockets surplus of pockets

Really too many pockets we can agree on that. Well, like that's what I'm saying I was a little confused when women are like, oh, I wish this had pockets But like I don't really see them using pockets like that Especially on like dresses because they got a bag to match the thing, which I like. It's a good look. I think it's a good look too. Like a clutch. I kind of like a clutch. I do like a clutch, but like imagine you have to carry something in your hand everywhere you go for all the ways. Maddening. I understand. Like for fashion, I get it. That sucks. And like handbags are also bad because it's basically just a lever for someone to like grab and take you know like put people Pockets dude if I have to carry around a clutch I'd be leaving clutches all over town. Oh

And we know Joe this is the guy that one one fucking dish in his dishwasher got moldy and he threw out everything He owned cutlery and dishwires. What does that have to do with anything? I'm saying like you would probably just be like I bought like an abundance of bags and clutches and you're just getting rid of them At every turn. Well, no, I'm not trying to get rid of them I would just forget them because I would be like I'm not carrying this around. I'm gonna put it down Big pocket. Where do you keep your wallet? By the way, which pocket? You know, what's crazy is I Used to when I had like a traditional foldable wallet, I used to keep it in my back right all the time. Okay.

But now I have like the one that like slides up, you know? Yeah. This one here. Yeah. I gotta be careful not to reveal any like, there's a credit card. You could have just told me I know exactly what it is. You showed me like four days ago.

Okay. Now I keep it in my front left. Same. Front left is wallet keep it in my front left. Same front left is wallet keys. Front right is phone. I was back but for a while, but then now I have like a newer wallet that's like harder. Like you don't get a wallet. It's got to like break in. Like I don't want to give a free plug, but the ridge wallets like that general like, well that is insane. I can't sit on a piece of steel forever. So if I have that, I need to put it in the front pocket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I have

a newer wallet. I just got it. Oh, it's the green one, right? Yeah. That one's really nice. So like that one, when I sit on it's like pressing against my bucket. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like bruising it. I might get one of those. Those are nice.

That's a good idea, honestly. But I feel like I need to know where everything is, because then when I do like my like, I got a check, phone, phone, wallet keys, I know, bing, bang, boom. I feel like I need to know where everything is because then when I do like my like I gotta check Phone phone wallet keys. I know Bing bang boom exactly, but like a purse, bro. No, I gotta dig bro I gotta dig bro. I gotta dig for something Becca Her purse is like the fucking Marianas trench. I go in there He's very deep dude, and I'm talking her like, not... I want you to guess also right now. Inside of your wife's purse. What percent of the things inside the purse aren't necessary?

Four. Max. Cause I'll tell you this. She has a purse. It's really a bag. In the bag, another bag. No. In that that her wallet why the fuck would you do that dude i love this woman but right now i'm honestly thinking about leaving her in the fucking

dust that's kind of crazy it's crazy right yeah like how to pay for anything she's got a fucking you know russian doll of the wall yeah she's like go in my purse in my in my wallet, then you'll find what you're looking for and I'm like, oh, this shouldn't, this shouldn't be a riddle. Also you have to have the memory of an elephant to remember, to like know that it's in there because I check all the time that I have my wallet on me. I'm going to back up and I will say, you know, it's different now because with the kids, we always need to carry, you know, in the bag, there's always like because with the kids, we always need to carry, you know, in the bag, there's always like snacks

for the kids, there's always a thing of wipes, there's always like diapers, you know what I mean? Like that makes sense. So like that is in that 4%. But the other 85%. There's a full bottle of SPF 50 in here. What the fuck do we need that for? There's a lot in there, there's a lot in there.

It's crazy. But you know, it's because... Creams? So many creams. Well, slow down, okay? I will say this. Big pocket targeted women and now the women's pocket revolution is coming. I think they think grass is greener on the other side.

They're like, I would like pockets because I would use the pockets, but once you get all those pockets, I don't know if you're going to use all of them. Then you get made fun of. How many times have I made fun of ants fucking cargo shorts? Bro, I'm not going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them.

I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them. I're like, I would like pockets because I would use the pockets. But once you get all those pockets, I don't know what you're gonna use all of them. Then you get made fun of.

How many times have I made fun of ants fucking cargo shorts? Bro, have you ever in your life seen a woman with full pockets? Never, ever. Never seen a woman with full pockets. That is true, but that is because Big Pocket has trained them. I know.

To have bags, Joey. I know. And what do they do. They make the bags very expensive Also, not only that but the bags are so filled that I don't know that you could go back to pocket after that No, yeah, I have to choose only three of the 400 items in your bag. Yeah. Yeah, and that's a big Boys, I want to help you guys learn what it's like to be a woman I'm gonna teach you When you go through and you clean out your backpack or when you go out and you clean out your wallet How many times you find something you're like, I don't need this but I don't want to get rid of it for years years

I carried around a stone-cold Steve Austin trading card Why because it set the tone that I love to party and it'll not to be fucked with okay But think about that on a scale of 10 in a woman's backpack. That's crazy, boys. Frankie. That is about the most ridiculous fucking comparison ever. I don't even know what's in my wallet right now. I'll be honest. I have like four things in it.

Oh, no. Now I've narrowed down. I would hope so. I've narrowed down, but I did for years. When did you get rid of this Stone Cold Trading card? When did you get rid of it? A couple years ago. A couple years ago. A couple years ago. Within my adulthood.

Post 25 I would say. It was a crazy, crazy time. You know, but that's what life is man. Where did you get it? Um, a WWE video game. It came with it. And you threw it in your wallet. Yeah.

I also had a- When did you get that game? 2013 so I kept it for years after I stopped playing the game. So hold on no no no no no No, cuz you're not running away from this go to the ad you're telling me quick 2013 how old were you? I Could be just guessing the year 2013. You're either 20 or 21 years old. Okay So you're 21 years old and you get a wrestling video game. It comes with a card. Yep

You've held on to that card had held on to it Well, you had held on to it for many years But it wasn't in your wallet yet and you waited until you were about 26 27. I'll be honest with you I'm pretty sure it immediately went into my wallet Oh, so it was it lasted a long time, because you said this was, oh, you got rid of it after that, got it. I thought you held onto it, and then one day you looked at it,

you're like, you know what? This is gonna go right into my adult wallet. No, no, no, it went into my wallet probably almost immediately after opening that game. We're 21. We did stupid, silly things. Also, I wanna go on record. You're a big stupid silly guy too. So fucking careful. Okay, be careful

Here's some carefulness Uh tool to do that No Yeah, no joey carrying around a stone cold trading card. Yeah in your wallet. Yeah, absolutely What what are you gonna do about it? Nothing you fucking loser. So shut up I don't have to do anything. There's nothing for me to do.

You've done it. You've done it already. You've done it for me. You've done it. I just wanted to make sure we were getting to that. Yeah, okay. As I say that with four-year-old stains on my shirt. Here we go.

Yeah, exactly. And a backwards baseball cap. A way to fucking go. Frank. What are you gonna do? Shake me for lunch money at the fucking arcade? Loser because I turn my hat around you won't wear anything except baseball jerseys. That's not true. I Have other clothes too. We don't know we don't not in this show. We don't know I guarantee if you take it Oh, yeah, he's got shirts from Express because he works for the company You take a oh, yeah, he's got shirts from Express because he works for the company apparently. Two people that have-

You know what's funny? Becca goes to me recently she goes Besides baseball jerseys and um Express shirts What do you wear? And I went My heart on my sleeve I was like oh shit I don't know I guess nothing Yeah

So what are you gonna do? Hey man If it ain't broke don't fix it And it ain't broke if anything. It's getting fixed More every day upgraded upgrade Fix more every day passion of the holes anyway We do have some sponsors for today the first one being rocket money rocket money is an all-in-one personal finance app that is going to Put money back in your pocket. How are they gonna do that? How could they possibly do that?

What they're going to do is they're gonna find and cancel unwanted subscriptions that you may have signed up for back in the day, or even just things that you've realized, you know what, I haven't used this in a very long time, there's no point in keeping it. So I'm gonna put that money back in my pocket. When I used RocketMining, I realized I was paying

for an online magazine, I don't even remember doing this, but it was like an online magazine and I was paying like $12 a month for that for the last two years. Great. But, yeah, so they'll find things like that and also free trials that eventually turn into like, oh, it's free for seven days. That eighth day, $400. Stuff like that help you cancel it. Also, they will help you lower your bills if they can.

They also have a budgeting tool that will help you with your spending. So, you know, if you feel like I need to start budgeting or I need to be a little more responsible or aware of how I'm spending my money, this is a good way to do it. Rocket Money's gonna help you do all of that, okay? But yeah, so stop wasting money on things you don't use.

Cancel your one-year subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash basement. Okay? That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. All right? And if you don't believe me, I mean, the proof is in the pudding. They have over 5 million users and have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps features. There you go folks. Okay, no one's above it. It all happens to us. Go to rockamoney.com slash basement right now to try it out. We also have SeatGeek, NBA season, you know, it's kind of over almost but MLB is still there this entire time. The entire summer will be there.

And before you know it'll be football season and also the NHL is kind of coming to a close, but if you want last minute tickets to that, or if you want to, you know, go to a nice MLB game or you want to go to a nice concert or some event, you can use Seakey to get your tickets. Okay. It is where I buy all my tickets. I've been using it for years. Um, and, uh, yeah, so it used to be that you can only get some money off if it's your first purchase, but now anybody can get some money off when you use our code.

If you want to buy tickets to anything, download that SeatGeek app, the number one rated ticketing app in the app store. And you can use the code BASEMENT10 for 10% off any ticket. Okay, so if you're going somewhere and you want to save some money, go on SeatGeek and use their little interface. Okay, like I've been saying it every single time, but you know, stay away from the red and the dark red tickets and go for the green and the dark green tickets. Those are the good ones that you're getting a good price for and you will save 10% on top of that when you use the code BASEMENT10. So go download that basement, the, go download the SeatGeek app and use the code

BASEMENT10 for 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. Guess what folks, the proof go download the SeatGeek app and use the code basement 10 for 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. Guess what folks? The proof is not only in the pudding, but there's also more pudding, Joe's pudding over on patreon.com slash the basement. Do you like the creamy, rich, beautiful, sweet, sultry taste of pudding? Well, maybe that will be in podcast form by us made by us for you on patreon.com slash or basement yard.

You sign up for that first tier. You get these weekly episodes, one whole week in advance, seven whole days right before anybody else. You see people like, where's this clip from on tick tock and guess what? It's from us bitch on Patreon. And then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. That's right. Every single Friday.

So that means Monday is the basement yard. Friday is the basement yard. So the emotional go without us baby is four days and during that four days we're going to miss you so much. So make sure you go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement. Thank you guys for getting us to really, really close to 31,000 patrons if we're not already there right now.

So we want to keep climbing, bopping, reaching for the top end and then, you know, see what the fucking goal that we can set next is. So thank you guys. We appreciate it. And if you want information on live shows, if you want information on anything about us, go to thebasementyard.com, check it out. I think as of recording, there are still some tickets available for the late night Atlantic city show, which is July 27th at the Tropicana. There's two shows that night, The late night show, still a couple of tickets. And from the way it has been described to me, Joey and Greg are pretty much trying to set me up for the craziest night of my life. So go check it out. And also,

if you are coming to any of the Basement Yard Experience shows, make sure you go to thebasementyard.com slash sub-mit. Okay. That's where you will find the questionnaire for anyone that comes to the shows. We like these shows to be interactive. We want you to talk to us, we want us to talk to you. We want to scream at you a little bit, maybe. Don't scream at us, because we'll scream even back harder at you because we have microphones, bitch. So go to thebasementyard.com slash submit,

put in what show you're coming to, and then fill out the questionnaire so it's fun. You never know, maybe we'll talk to you, with you, about you, you never know. All right, folks, go check it out. Joey, Joey Joey back at you oh you saw nothing so you like that right yeah well you see anything in your life huh do you sing anything in your life like music or what's your go-to

song in the shower right now what are you singing right now I don't listen to music in the shower you do I don't it's like rare I'm not saying listen I don't listen to music in the shower what I sing? I don't. It's like rare. I'm not saying listen. I don't listen to music in the shower. Oh. But I sing every shower. Oh, I don't do that. Recently it was Be Prepared from the Lion King.

Makes a lot of sense. What's Up by Fordenant Blondes. That's a great one too. Oh, we were in the, we were in an Uber and we were singing that and some Hamilton very loudly. I also think he was enjoying it. He was kind of doing this. Yeah.

I think he was kind of bopping to it a little bit. He had the bop going, not a long enough car ride for us to really sing as much as we wanted. It was after, by the time people are seeing this, after, by the way, the Brunch Boys are back. We did a big time episode where we had scorpion balls. It was a little crazy.

And then we got, you know, we were singing and hanging and having fun. So That's on patreon go check that out. But yeah, we got drunk on an episode. We did a surprise, you know surprise things happen But every so often we're like, you know, why we should we get a drunk on this episode? I'm like craving karaoke like hard hard craving karaoke. Are you I feel like I'm surprised you don't have like a karaoke machine You know, they made like Apple like your like Apple music could do karaoke now Yeah, I'll need a microphone bro, you don't need a microphone if it's just a party of your friends and fam You can just not your own microphone

What no best part is having a microphone and feeling like you're on stage, dude I'm not just gonna sing out loud. what the fuck? Yeah, who would do that? Yeah. Stupid. What? I'm gonna slow down, all right, bitch? All right. No, you're gonna tell me you're not craving

a good karaoke sesh, just like some, just like a pitcher of like stale light beer, you're spilling it all over the place, walking across couches and just like a small Korean. Definitely Korean. Definitely, even though the Japanese have coined karaoke as the art, the Koreans have just taken it for themselves. Right.

So I could be wrong. Maybe it is the Koreans that made it up. Don't start a war. They got enough going on in Korea. I've also been watching Tokyo Vice unbelievable show. Tokyo Vice. Yeah, it's on Max whatever the fuck the shit is called It's just like a it's like a who's the dude I?

Forget his name. Yeah, but he was like baby driver or some Ansel Elgort. Yeah, that's that's a that's not a real name by the way Yeah, that's like what it sounds's not a real name by the way yeah that's like what it sounds like when someone swallows something yeah like the rejected name for all of the fucking hobbits and the Lord of the Rings was it this is Frodo this is Ansel Elgort you know oh he's like fluent in Japanese I show I think he is he could could speak several languages. That's crazy. But apparently there's some stuff out there about him. No, that's not good. I don't know. Show's

phenomenal though. Yeah. But yeah, so that's good. But you know, so I'm like locked into the Japanese culture kind of not that that was what you were saying. I know. Have you watched karaoke? Have you watched Shogun? No, I watched her. So I haven't watched more. I want to watch more. Apparently it's really good. How do you watch one episode of a show and then you don't watch the show? It just got away from me, babe. I haven't been able-

You weren't captivated? I was, I was pretty, my, my Vedids were capped. Uh, I just haven't gotten the chance to like sit down. Becca and I right now are watching a lot of Top Chef. So we're being Top Chefs. You know, they're in Milwaukee this season. Okay. There's some cool stuff going on. You like Top Chef? I do. But know, they're in Milwaukee this season. Okay.

Some cool stuff going on. You like Top Chef? I do. But I don't like, I don't know, I'm going back and forth on you, but like. On me? Yeah. What did I do? I know that you like, you go to a lot of fine dining establishments.

But like, I want to go out to just a diner and just get like a stupid fucking dumbass burger You know what I'm saying? I do too. You know, I want to go carnivals. Oh And like it's stupid shit from carnivals because carnivals are there's no rules carnivals are crazy. It's like we'll get like top down They're just a disaster. Yeah. Yeah. I want to go to a carnival in like the 80s Like I wish we could time travel and go to a carnival back then what a request. I want to go to a carnival in like the 80s Like I wish we could time travel and go to a carnival back then what a request I want to go to a you can tell me no what just salty carnies that are just like the fucking just Seriously like possible murderers

That and they're just like handing you just a bro corn dog. Do you remember? I don't know if you were there, but we went to like the fair carnival whatever in Astoria and someone tried to stab one of the workers and they all beat the shit out of him in the street. There's such a level like a fraternal love of carn for carnies. They're like their own like fraternity. They work together. Also is that offensive? Fraternity? No. Carney? Yeah. Who's getting offended? I don't know. But anyway- They can't hear.

Apparently this guy was trying to stab somebody with a screwdriver and then they whooped his ass and then I was like, what's going on? And I get close and the guy's right there and he's like basically knocked out and he like sits up and some dude kicked him in the face and he was just out. I was like I'm going home. And then he handed you a plastic bag of goldfish and it was the best day of your life. Yeah I mean I earned the goldfish. You did earn the goldfish.

You earned that goldfish. Did you do the game where the fucking frog and you hit it with the hammer and it fucking flips over into a bucket? No no no. I did the one where it's like you throw ping pong balls and you have to land in like the thing. Oh, that's very tough. You know a game I- If you throw enough, you're gonna win. If you were to take, say like how much money have you spent at a carnival and like break it down by games?

There was one year where I legitimately, at the age of 12, must have convinced my parents to give me a hundred dollars over two days For what there was this game and I know you're gonna remember it and this guy was such a fucking con artist That's the other thing about current Carney does seem a little bit of a slur It should probably stop very hard does so but it was it was like a spiral piece of metal and you had this ring that was on a stick and you had to from the bottom as It spun go around ah without hitting the edges or it would like buzz Yeah, and I had convinced myself

I was gonna do it and win like an Xbox or something and you didn't didn't Damn, I saw so much money on this fucking thing. You know what I spent a lot of money on? You remember that game you put the quarters in? It's like a shelf that keeps pushing. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm going to win a thousand dollars right now. Dude, there's like a TikTok,

like series of TikToks that are just those. And it's just like live and you just watch that. And it's just like in the middle, stacks of like five thousand dollar chips. See, I'm glad that I, you know, I'm not, I haven't seen that because I would just sit there for an hour watching this. Dude, those things are such scams. And I was such like, I was so bought in and like one would fall and it would move it like that.

And he's like, Oh shit, he's going to fall. Because what happens is like, the thing is like, I don't even know if people know what we're talking about. They know, they know there's a lot of change and there's like a shelf that keeps pushing it. So the idea is to stack all the coins and then eventually it pushes it out and you win all that money. And it's like a lot of quarters.

So you're like, yo, I'm about to cash the fuck out right now. But the quarters get to like a full two inches past the edge and hasn't I get punched. I think it's cause they're magnetic. I think there's a magnet there. I think that's what it is. I think I figured it out bastards. I magnetic. I think there's a magnet there. I think that's what it is I think I figured it out bastards Yeah I've also hit that jump shot at carnivals before and I'm like I'm the best basketball player of all time because though

You know those are bent the last time I did like a serious Like carnival game it was the one where it's like cans and you need to throw a ball or a bean bag At the cans and knock them, not just knock them down, but knock them off of the thing. And I did it on my first try. I thought I was fucking Roger Clemens. I like wound up and threw it, hit it, and I was just like, of course.

They were like, you get a large prize. And I got a large prize. Nice. I remember, you know the one that you squirt water into a clown's mouth? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you- When you're fucking full squirt water into a clown's mouth? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're fucking full on pissing

in this clown's mouth. Yeah, I gotcha. And then it pops a balloon or whatever. Bro, I destroyed like four children at that. Oh, I love that, but I was like, what am I gonna do? I love the one where it's like the horsies are racing. Oh! And you have to like throw the ball in and like get it

and it'll be like one move, three moves, five moves. Also, I want to just back up for a second and just point out that you said horsies instead of horses Oh, I'm sorry. I like to be playful with the way I speak Horsies! My tummy is horsies! I speak to children all day long. Yeah, okay Forgive me. Yeah, what do you want me to say that fucking, oh, that mayor up there, oh yeah. Sorry I don't fucking drown my sorrows in rosé, you fucking useless pig. Okay, you drown your sorrows in cheddar biscuits

from Red Lobster. So it ain't that much better there, chief. Trust me, one of those are gonna kill you a lot quicker. I'm not gonna reveal which one will kill you quicker, the Rose or the Cheddar Bay biscuits. Honestly, the jury is out. I don't even know because I'm pretty, if I had to guess it would be the biscuits. You know, it's crazy talking, transitioning.

I saw a story today that there's a new TikTok trend amongst surprisingly women. Normally the people that are doing dumb things are us boys, but there is a new TikTok trend where they are doing enemas. Enemas? Enemas. Okay. Seems okay, right? Yeah. Clean out your hole. I know, I remember you did an enema for Patreon, which you guys can find it. I haven't done one since. Unless Joey took it down out of shame I did not it's still up there. I didn't show my Anus. Yes, you did. No, I did not you guys want to see Joey's full-on fucking sphincter Puckering at you go to patreon.com slash everybody's been here. I don't false advertising asterisk. Yeah, there's an asterisk on that. Yeah But they're doing enemas. I did one recently for the doctor,

sucks so bad, dude. The doctor sucked it? No. Stop. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha. Damn dude, that's a weird enema. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I had to do it for the doctor to like clean myself out. Lovely. Yeah. But they're doing enemas, reportedly for health benefits, but it is with coffee. Hmm, coffee. Wait, is that not dangerous? Of course it's dangerous, probably.

Why do it? Because we're all as a society getting dumber despite the fact that we have the world at our fingertips. Anything for a tinch. Yeah, and what they do is as they're doing the enemas, they use the my least favorite emoji on the planet, the three little like shimmer, light shimmers to make it look like it's like healthy. You know what I'm talking about? Okay. Like the sparkles. Yeah. It looks like sparkles and it'll be like, this is for good, like

liver detox and like, it like lowers your cortisol levels. Hey, you're just butt chugging coffee, dude. Yeah, that caffeine's got a fucking first class ticket to your spludge spray. And for where? For your bloodstream. Oh, I thought you were saying for your spludge spray. What is that? I thought that was a word for your asshole

that I hadn't heard of. Spludge spray? No. No. I can't imagine, someone that has medically had to take enemas, I can't ever imagine doing it for funsies. With coffee, no less. With coffee. Imagine the first time I have coffee is just fucking injected into my ass.

A caffeine would probably get your heart going. Well, it's not a thing like, cause remember when we were in college, people were warning us against like butt chugging. Yeah, I mean, I definitely didn't need a warning. I was like, I'm all set. I'm not sticking a funnel in my ass. There was no part of you that wondered what it was like to butt chug a beer.

Legitimately never. Did you ever do or know anyone that did eye shots? No, what? Oh, like put a shot in your eye? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like- Is that even possible? My eye would fall out. Kids that I knew in college would take shot glasses

of like vodka and they'd hold it and it would seep through their tear duct. And let me tell you, bad. Not good, dude. How not blind? Because I don't know. open yeah that's got to suck dude are you kidding me suck dude that's like fucking legitimately dangerous it sounds yeah yeah I'd like to see more than I'd like to be cool is

there any drink that you like enough that you would legitimately consider butt-chugging it I like tasting things with my mouth. I've never tasted anything with my hush-hug. Let alone my favorite drinks. What if you found out tomorrow you could taste things with your asshole? It wouldn't change a thing. There was like a thing back then where it was like if you dip your balls in something you could taste it. It was made up.

Not that I did it, but I did see people saying it. Did you do it? I swear to God I did it. But I was like, because I was like, bro that is completely made up. Not that I did it, but I did see people. Did you do it? I swear to God I did. But I was like, because I was like, bro, that is completely made up. This is a prank, obviously. This seems like, hey, we're not scientists. Despite speaking with confidence about many things. People think that we're scientists. Me. Look at me. Look at that scientist over there. People come in and they're like, give us the cold hard science and we go, you got it. You got it folks. Don't chug anything in your butt.

Yeah. I would say, unless. Get it out. Yeah, you want your butt to be exit only, you know what I mean? That no entrance for anything, unless you like gay sex, or just. A good't all anal in a good old pegging. Yeah, you don't need to be gay to enjoy pegging. No, Joey tells me so You don't need to be gay to enjoy a little anal in

We let people do what they want on the show This is a perfect segue This is the perfect segue. This is the part where we go to the ads. Yeah. Yeah. We should put a- We should say something. Something before.

I think something else. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's compromise that moves us along. Yeah. All right, now. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Uh. If you guys wanna get into therapy,

which I suggest that you do, I think therapy has done wonders for me over the years that I've been in it, so I think that everyone should be, and if you were kind of like on the fence about it, BetterHelp is a good place to kind of make the introductory, or that introduction, I should say. It is more affordable than in-person therapy that can be very expensive. So I understand how that's a deterrent But yeah, you can try BetterHelp and talk to some licensed therapists in just under 48 hours

they onboard you pretty quickly and You know start talking about things that may be bothering you or you know Maybe if you don't have any pressing matters in your mind that you think like, Oh, no, I'm good. Don't worry about it. Like I still think that it's very helpful because when I first started therapy, I also didn't really think that there was like these big, you know, character flaws or issues, but you get there. You figure it out.

Um, but yeah, you guys can go check out better help at better help.com slash base me are today and you'll get 10% off your first month. That is better help. B-E-T-T each, B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash base me or to get 10% off of your first month. So go enjoy that. And lastly here we have Squarespace. Squarespace is a platform that you're going to use

to build out a website. A lot of people have reached out to me saying they've been using our code for Squarespace and building their websites because if you have a, you know, e-commerce business or you make content or you need anything, you know, a website for anything, which these days it feels like you need a website for everything.

So if you're looking to build a website, you don't know where to start, Squarespace is a good place to get in there. They have really good templates where they can show you how to build out a website. Or they basically build out the website for you. You just change the text and the photos and you make it look really professional. And you know, your website could make or break your business or whatever the case is, it has to look really good.

And back in the day, you used to have to pay like coders. So like create and you had no idea what they were doing and it cost so much money. But now you can do it with Squarespace for a much more affordable price and make it look great and it only takes like a day or two. So it'll be very quick depending on how much time you want to dedicate to building it out and also they have a lot of tools to let you know where all the traffic is coming from, how to optimize that. So if you're going to be building a website I suggest using Squarespace.

It is the best one and you can go to squarespace.com slash basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the code basement okay so that is squarespace.com slash basement you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement so keep on making those websites and let me know. All right, there you go, enjoy. And before we get out of here, Frank, I would like to talk about the French.

Oh. What about the France? That's not how you say that. The French. Okay. What are you doing? French are all here. Yeah. Well, you just did French are all here. Yeah.

Well, you just did Rocky Balboa, I think. That's Sylvester Stallone. What's the difference between Sylvester Stallone and a Frenchman? Hey, hey, hey, hey. That's not, who, I'm not even going to say who that was. Who is that? You tell me. I guess.

But apparently, so we have the Summer Olympics in Paris this year. You Olympic guy. I fucking love, well the Summer Olympics I like. The winter is like all right. You don't like the winter? It's like oh cool ice. Well I just like, it's just not as cool as the summer.

I love watching track and field. And isn't flag football gonna be in this one or the next one? Is it? I think so. I don't know, but track and field, swimming, like. I love how the Olympic committee is just adding things that we're only good at so we can get more gold medals.

What are we, what? Fucking, they're trying to make baseball an Olympic sport. Actually, that might be tough. We would get our ass whooped. Not our ass whooped. Slow the hell down, all right, bitch? We got Aaron Judge. Okay, but the Dominican Republic.

I know, the world baseball. The Japanese team. The world baseball classic, yes, yes, bitch. We got Aaron judge. Okay, but the Dominican Republic the world baseball Japanese the world baseball classic Yes. Yes. Yes, the Japanese would fucking smoke us. They beat us in the last week I'm saying also dr come on dr, but you know, yeah I mean Jesus but like flag football. I remember they announced that that was gonna be an Olympic sport We spoke about it here on the show on the base. Who's good at flag football? Don't figure it out in other countries. They probably don't play flag football though in other countries.

I'm sure there is a small... I don't know how popular American football is in fucking... American football is a worldwide phenomenon, babe. That's why we're fucking going to Brazil. That's why we're going to London. I think that we're doing that to try and make it that, but... I can almost guarantee they're going to be sold out games in Brazil. The Packers are playing there,'t they well when a new sport

Comes it's exciting in that way. Yeah, they sell out the London games all the time. I think well, that's just Jacksonville It's the only way Jacksonville cuz they'll out. Hello I want to go to a London game. Oh, do it. I Want to I really you know what I want to go to I want to get invited to rec some FC game I want to be cool enough with Ryan and You know like Rob and Rob and be like we could sit with like in the owners box with them We can be like hanging out Guys, I love you. Like you know what I would like to do sit in the office, but yeah, of course

Why not? No, of course. That would be all right. Yeah, we can go we could do it Yeah, yeah, that would be fun as hell? Yeah. We can go, we can do it. Yeah. Yeah. That would be fun as hell. It would. I mean I would go to any football match. That's right, football. I would go to any of them.

I would be very careful though. I would make sure my allegiance is right down the middle for whatever I'm going to see. Oh, wherever I'm sitting is the color I would be wearing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna play that. Because you don't want to die, dude. I don't want to get, you know, I don't want anyone to throw a flare at me or whatever the fuck you know what I mean? That's mostly in like South American countries that that stuff happens

Well, whatever I can talk about them you can't so don't you dare say anything But sorry I cut you off so France Summer Olympics. Oh, yeah, so apparently the French some of the French people are protesting the Olympics by shitting in the river Is there a river in France? Yeah, like it flows all the way where Paris? Yeah, it flows like all the way to the Eiffel Tower or whatever. I don't know. It's like their main one I forget the name of it be like the Hudson for us basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they're just so they're just shit in it There's good do big craps. Yeah, and like that's the protest is like a shit flash mob. Dude, that's gonna,

how many people they got backing on this poop protest? You also gotta like, everyone at the same time has to go. You know what I mean? I'm sure they can make, they can all take like, at the same time they meet up in the park and they're like, take this laxative, oh, they gotta say it French. How do they say it?

Say what? Take this laxative. Oh, they gotta say it French. How would they say it? Say what? city Boop That last part I have no idea what you said I know we're going to do poop got it. Yeah Yeah, no shitting into a river is a little is that I mean I'm all for protesting That's just a interesting way to protest shittingitting. Well that's the whole idea of a protest, Joey, is that you can't pick how it is protested. Well yeah, well that's not the point of a protest. The point of a protest is that you shouldn't like the way that it's protesting.

I don't think that's true either. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's not a protest if it's something you are on board with. I think it's just raising awareness and making sure people are... I've never been passionate about anything that crap for it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. Like if someone was like, yo.

Where there would be no more wine in this world, you have to crap your pants right now. Don't do it. Do you think that's where my loyalty is, is like to wine above all the things? What? No more therapy in the world or else you better crack your pants.

It would be so un- No. No! I don't know that I could even sit on a riverbank and shit into the water. Like I don't think I have that in me. Could you- if I were to watch you crap, could you crap? I don't think so. Really?

To like watch me take a dump. Yeah. I don't think- I don't, I would have such stage fright. I don't know if my sphincter is like that. So let me get this straight, for the basement yard experience, you can go on stage and make a couple thousand people laugh, but the moment they ask you to take your fucking draws off

and just pop a squat, you won't be able to do it? That's where your stage fright comes in? Frank, how do you not understand the difference between those two things? I'll do you can make people laugh, but you can't pull your asshole out and shit crap in front of them crap with it No Exactly. No, I can't and Joey's a big crapper. Shout out to the French though, man I have a newfound respect for them and if you're really Paris is a fucking dump dude apparently like we have convinced ourselves it's like I was being nice and now Frankie said that it's a rough-looking city you're gonna

be if someone were to say apparently the Bronx is a dump you're gonna be offended you'd be like yeah it kind of is I mean I've been to the Bronx though you've never been to Paris yeah I've heard enough about it I mean I've seen some videos but also like I don't know how much I trust these like travel influencers. They're like, I went to the city and it's not anything. It's like, what the fuck do you know about this city? Well, Joey, all of our, France is beautiful.

All of our news. Let's get this out of the way. Even when I saw it from the air, I'm sure there's parts of Paris that are probably not great. It's a fucking tourist attraction. It's not France. It's like going to Times Square and being like,

it's actually, New York is actually dirty. That's a bad example, New York is dirty. New York is very dirty. But like, you know, it's like going to like the main hubs and being like, oh, this is not what I expected at all. I usually see videos of like the rolling hills of Tuscany. And you're like, bro, you're in fucking. That's Italy.

But so I would think that just like any city, you're in fucking that's Italy. But, um, so I would think that just like any city, it has good and bad parts. And like the people from there are probably like, they are more defensive of the good parts and be like, Oh, like 10 10 is a big shit hole. My French is getting better. You're not speaking French. My French is getting better. I just, I don't know if the right way to protest the Olympics is to- Take in dumps? Take dumps. Because let's not forget- River dumps.

The Olympics has been around for thousands of years. They've probably smelled quite a couple dumps in their time. Maybe. So what is that going to do? probably smelt quite a couple dumps in their time. Maybe. So what is that gonna do? Have you ever pooped in a body of water? Besides the toilet. Obviously. No, I don't think I have.

Not to my knowledge. Have you? To my knowledge, what do you think you forgot? Like when I was a baby, yeah. Like a lot of times, like when babies are first put in the bath, they get scared of it and they go, crap. Oh my God, did your children shit in the bathtub?

Trying to remember. I think one of them did. I can't remember. You ever get peed on? I've gotten pee on, not shot at me because the diapers I change for the girls. But apparently a lot of people with boys, they get fucking fat pissed on. That's crazy, dude. I've seen it with boys like this get fucking fat pissed on. Yeah, that's crazy

I've seen it happen. You've seen someone get pissed on. Yeah, my sister. Whoa. Yeah Kind of weird Didn't think I was gonna go my entire life without seeing my sister getting pissed on but here we are here We are and talking about it for a couple thousand people watching listen to but then it's like Your sister's gonna be like, hey, why are you talking about me on the podcast? What did you say? And you're like, I don't remember. I don't even remember, honestly, what I said.

No, but when she changes, when she used to change, Michael, she would like put a diaper over him. Well, they sell, there's like a product that's called like the, it's kind of cultural appropriation. You know how those Americans love, it's called like the PPP.

Oh, you gotta put like a little cone over it? And it's like, yeah, it's like a little cone that you put over the little baby stuff so they don't piss on you. It's a penis. Yeah, but, yeah. I don't know, I feel weird. Calling it a penis?

Speaking about a baby penis. Well, first of all, we're not talking about it like we're... I know, I'm just weird. In love with it. We're talking about what happened. Scientifically. Yeah.

Back to us being scientists. Yeah, we're back to being science. Hello, how are you? If you were to protest the... Because apparently, I actually, I think there's some... I'm not crapping in the... Ground for this protest to stand up.

I can give you a piss in the river. I can't crap in the river, I'm sorry. Oh, piss in the river. Bro, I've peed I've pre I've peed in bodies of water Probably more than I've peed in toilets. Are you a pool pisser? You piss in pools? Not pools. Not pools. No, thank you. Lakes? Forget about it I honestly think I could have been a pool pisser growing up if I didn't see that or like hear that one rumor that when you pee in pools, it turns blue if if I Didn't know that I probably would have done it more. I will say this, I'm lying a little bit.

I have been a pool pisser and I think you have too. Oh, Las Vegas doesn't count. You know what, you're right, because technically that's not a pool, it's just a big toilet. Yeah, people throw up in that. Yeah, dude. And I know, one of our friends threw up in a big toilet. Yeah. People throw up in that. Yeah, dude. And I know one of our friends threw up in a Vegas pool. He went underwater, threw up and came up. Which I did. That's one of the dumbest

like things I could think of. You know what's funny? Why go under? You know what's crazy is we found a camera in a Vegas pool. Yeah. And I still have it. You don't throw anything out. I don't. It's unbelievable. We took a couple of pictures before it stopped working. I wonder whose camera it is. I wonder what's on there.

Me too. Imagine you like go through and it's like at the end of the hangover movies. It's like, oh shit. They're like drunk with like a monkey or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe one day I'll be able to find like a proper USB cable to like Get the camera the pictures off it. Well, it's been over ten years

Probably I think you gave up on that dream a long time ago. You never know probably busy with other stuff Yeah, I am a little I am a little I am a little busy. So we'll never know folks. But yeah, anyway I think that we could end there Frank. What do you say? No, let's let's keep going. Okay So, how are you? Where can they find you? FAlvarez85 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez, all the forums, social medium. Guys, like I said, just to remind you June 26th 7 a.m. Dropping the documentary to talk about our entire journey excited for you guys to kind of see it And then also you will get the information of the New York City show in that so you have that to look forward to and

Yeah, appreciate you guys so much. Thanks for sticking around I'll shout out to all the patrons as well and that is all see you guys next time keep those eyes peeled Shout out to all the patrons as well and that is all see you guys next time keep those eyes peeled Keep them peeled peeled like an orange Right or an apple