The Basement Yard - #458 - I Peed My Pants Again

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going? Don't don't you fucking dare. What? Deny what I'm about to say. Deny? Yes. What? Don't you even try to fucking deny it? What? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:00:23 What? First of all, sunglasses indoors. All right. Don't try to fucking deny it. But you, what do you mean? What first of all, sunglasses indoors. All right. Don't try to deny this Joe Sanagato, Jeffrey Epstein. What are you doing? No kidding. Before we recorded literally mere seconds, Joey presses the record button and then he goes, oh wait. And he gets up and you run and you said, I wanted to wear my sunglasses. Joey presses the record button and then he goes, oh wait
Starting point is 00:00:49 Gets up and you run and you said I wanted to wear my sunglasses. I Don't understand I feel like we're doing a production and you don't break the third wall You know, I think it's the fourth wall that you break. Well, whatever wall it is. You've broken it down You've broken. I'd like to show people into our world They want to see the sausage and you show them your sausage. You know, like that's- Speaking of sausage, cool hamburger hat. Moving on. No, no, this is a very cool hat.
Starting point is 00:01:11 This is the pit beef hat from the Bowie, Bowie Bay Socks. Bowie. You know I love my hats. Yeah, you do. And I was very, very excited when I saw that there was a hat with a beef sandwich on it. Because you're a big fan of beef sandwiches. Be honest with me for a split second.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Who the fuck isn't? Vegetarians. I think vegetarians like meat. They just choose not to because it's like posh. It's like bad, bad. I think it's probably, it affects them too. Some people are vegetarians because it's like, whatever know, whatever, I'm trying to be healthier. Because their body can't eat meat? Figure it out.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Yeah, what the hell? When I was younger, no one had a peanut allergy. This country is soft! Oh, let me guess, you're allergic to what? Pizza? Loser. Figure it the fuck out. Bro, I love that. I love when people, like boomers get upset, that people
Starting point is 00:02:04 are definitely allergic to yeah It's like oh my god with the fucking peanuts, dude Yeah, it is funny because eat it This is also back in the day when like they would have a fucking a tummy ache and like it would be like in a hospital For a week and a half or like you couldn't breathe. So yeah, you know, you were called fucking the soft our word You know what I'm saying soft R I mean they were using that word too I'm sure they were yeah I don't know why they think it's so cool to be sick and die like it's like you
Starting point is 00:02:40 know man dude but also like also the mentality that your brain could just be stronger than your science, you know what I mean? Like, oh, you're gonna wear fucking sunscreen? You fucking pussy. And it's like, dude, this is just science that we're fighting here. I used to never wear sunscreen.
Starting point is 00:03:00 I didn't either. Now I always wear it. Yeah, now I do because I still get a nice gold on me. I always wear it. Yeah now I do because yeah, I have like, you know I still get a nice gold on me. I put I put Joey has sunscreen on his lips all the time sunscreen chapstick. He has it anywhere We went in DC, which we just got back from He would fucking sit there and you also put it on if I'm being honest No, no, no, you put it up
Starting point is 00:03:22 You put it on like you're going getting ready to fucking take down like three, six inches. Is it my fault that putting on chapstick is not manly? How do you want me to do it? Eeeh! Like how the fuck do you want me to do it? That's stupid. That's not stupid, that's smart. Toxic masculinity.
Starting point is 00:03:40 It is toxic, it is, absolutely, 100%. Where do you think I learned it? Fucking Sunglass and Doors over here. That's good. It is funny though, like, absolutely, 100%. Where do you think I learned it? Fucking sunglass indoors over here. That's good. It is funny though, like we'd be walking around in DC and I just look over to you and you're just like. First of all, no one's doing that. No one's doing that, okay?
Starting point is 00:03:57 I was protecting my lips from the rays, okay? The UV was 10 for Christ's sake. I imagine you doing it. I should have got a video of you and put it up with that, I've been a nasty girl. I've been a nasty girl. Yeah, I was lotioning up these lips. Partly because the, I forget what company makes those ones,
Starting point is 00:04:18 but they taste that good. It's the one with the monkey. There's a monkey on it? There's a monkey on it, isn't there? I don't know. Maybe the monkey. Don't talk like a baby But no, I like they taste really good that one was a you ever just want to just chomp down on a fucking chapstick
Starting point is 00:04:33 So most chapsticks Oh, bro You remember back in the day like in middle school like lip gloss was like fucking do crazy Well, if you were a guy with lip gloss on no, I didn't have you got called but I'm saying some other words Yeah, yeah for sure But no there were girls that would have like lip gloss and like as soon as they take it out these things stunk but good Oh, I love this lip gloss stink and I was like yo, give me let me just chug I also love the sound of like it like pulling out like just like a You know like oh like a party farty chapstick. Look we feed chapstick
Starting point is 00:05:09 But like the lip gloss I'm always just like damn, bro. I want to put and they would always Yeah, it's like whoa, dude, I know what's going on pause algebra and we're talking about like we're talking at the height of like the juicy couture like sweatsuits, too So that mixed with the lip stuff and I just wanted to put it on but I also didn't want to get called gay Which I would have if I got and you probably did. Yeah, I for many other Me too, baby, it's all right. Yeah, but yeah was that I don't know why I did that I don't want to unpack it. It was funny? I don't know why I did that. I don't wanna unpack it. It was funny because I went to middle school
Starting point is 00:05:47 with people that were of like, they came from more money. Like, it's funny, middle school and like the first two years of high school, I was with people that lived in like a very, I shouldn't say very, but like a more affluent part of Queens. And like, then I switched and went to like fucking like, you know, like Cholita Central, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:06:06 And so, but like, it was funny because that was like, the Juicy Gator, that was the iPods with the fucking knitted iPod sleeve. You remember that? And they would be like, my name's Pink and I'm listening to Maroon 5, you know, the whole album. I was like, chill out. And also those belts that would light up and stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Man, the combination of all that shit, I was just like really into. So of the time, you know what's gonna be weird? album chill out and also the belts that would light up and stuff man the combination of all that shit I was just like really so of the time you know what's gonna be weird I loved sweatpants I still love sweatpants I'm wearing sweats right now baby on women oh for some reason I was just like very into those sweatsuits I was like also anything written on a butt I'm like Joey's in Joey's in it was a little weird that they were like juicy It was a little weird that there were like fucking 15 year old girls walking around with on their butt It wrote juicy like the marketing there was not bro way younger than that. It was very weird
Starting point is 00:06:54 We're talking about 12 13 year olds with juicy across their butts. Yeah, like that's weird juicy It is mr. And mrs. Couture wasn't weird for me though. I am the time I were of the time I am 1112 we were put a teacher. I'd be like bro get this shit out of here Yeah, it is I mean listen we can put it into the fucking you know the vault of ways that big companies have sexualized I'll tell you I got your turn. Go ahead. I was Don't worry about my point I thought you were wrapping up a big Joey big Joey was ready to shut me up the moment I talked about big companies
Starting point is 00:07:25 starting to fucking sexualize children. But no, no, no, no, no, no. What? What fucking groundbreaking statement were you gonna fucking? First of all, it actually does, it is a good thing to say, but like, what were you saying?
Starting point is 00:07:36 Companies are doing that? I was saying just another, we'll put that in the fucking vault of like another company sexualizing children when they're fucking little, little kids running around with on their ass, it's as juicy. What is the deal their asses as juicy what is the deal why what is the deal it doesn't make sense spider-man and pony shit spider-man ponies yeah go ahead name all your toys but spider-man could be for
Starting point is 00:08:01 girls too bitch don't fucking do that ponies could be for girls too, bitch. I know. Don't fucking do that. And ponies could be for boys, bastard. Absolutely they are. I fucking loved playing with little horses when I was younger, dude. I'll be honest with you, there was- And Polly Pockets. I gotta be honest with you. I think there's a whole ground,
Starting point is 00:08:14 like there was a whole part of therapy we haven't touched on yet, where like we start to discuss like all the cool girl toys we couldn't play with. Oh, I was playing with them. I know, but I felt gay about it, you know what I mean? I felt like people were gonna make fun of me for it. That was mean.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I honestly didn't, I don't know. Like, you know what it was back then? You could have a tribal tattoo sleeve and shoot a basketball the wrong way and miss and everyone's like this kid's fucking gay yeah so like you're just used to gayness like being called gay to the point I know I thought I was his Polly pocket I'm gay either way I feel bad I didn't feel like I when I just said like I felt gay for it like it sounds like I'm contributing to the
Starting point is 00:09:01 standard at that point I do feel bad after saying that Get this motherfucker No, but like I feel like that was the thing it was just like you can't play with these toys Like you better know how to shoot a basketball cuz if not, yeah You're going in you're probably fucking jerking off boys. Yeah little Frankie That's why I was fucking hitting the three Joey was and then I was fucking playing with Polly pockets when I got home He was right. I was a miniature. I was in. I was I was like Oh a small toy. That's definitely a weird way to put that. Why? Why anything miniature I was in like toys like I get I know what you're saying But like that was like there's a level of like therapy
Starting point is 00:09:35 We haven't touched on yet where it's just like damn like I wish I wish I had cool like like what was that thing skip it I wish I knew how to play with the skip it dude. I used to play with a skip it. I am horrendous at it also cool, but if you're not good at it like I wasn't Really dangerous for your shins This thing would whip around and crush the bones Well, we had we had razor scooters and I remember I tried to do that trick with the razor scooter where you like skid And then like flick it around and it hit my shins. I told you my legs mostly scars. That was not an exaggeration Um Frank, it was definitely an exaggeration, but it's okay. You had a few scars on you
Starting point is 00:10:15 No, no if I were to shave my leg right now, you'd see the abundance of scars on there Also shout out to that girl in the DC show in the front row She had a shirt on that said Also shout out to that girl in the DC show in the front row. She had a shirt on that said My legs are mostly scars and I'm like more comfortable in the dark and then it was a drawn picture of Like Batman with like fucked up legs. Damn that's fire honestly. Yeah, I saw it when I was getting off stage. Trump recently Whoa That's what I was looking for. He recently had a line where he said something like Mostly battle wounds.
Starting point is 00:10:46 I take more wounds than anybody else. And people have been tagging me in it just saying like, his legs are mostly scars too. You know, so me and Donald Trump, apparently. I believe that though, because he's like, he's lily white. So like, he probably- Do you think scars are like, I feel like, who's, where do scars show more?
Starting point is 00:11:03 On whiter people? I would say on darker skin people because the scar tissue comes out and it looks whiter. Does it? But when it heals? Yeah, it looks, I don't know. We should actually probably transition into talking about- Let's talk about skin color in depth, Frank. Yeah, let's.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Oh. I don't think either of us know where that is coming from. I don't know, honestly. But- Anyway, I want to talk about something. I don't know, honestly, but. Anyway, I wanna talk about something. I had a really cool experience this morning. Pissed my pants. So, but didn't know I pissed my pants.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Technically, I didn't piss my pants. Tell me you peed the bed. What happened is. Tell me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me ask the questions before you give all of the correct answers. Okay, go. You peed the bed.
Starting point is 00:11:41 No. You forgot that you were sitting down and forgot that you had to pee and you pissed your pants. You're never gonna get there. You're on the bed. No. You forgot that you were sitting down and forgot that you had to pee and you pissed your pants. You're never gonna get there, you're on the wrong track here. All right, okay. What happened was I dribbled and I didn't know. A basketball?
Starting point is 00:11:53 My penis. Oh, your dick ball. Yeah, so I had went to excrete some urine, which is what I did. Can I say that? There's gotta be a better way to say it. Is excrete just for poop? Excretion? I think it's sucrete. That might be it. What is excreting? Excreting is like you shoot it out your butt. Excreting is like when you're in the band
Starting point is 00:12:18 creed and then you leave. That's excreed. Got it. Excrete is separate and expel is waste. So technically you're right. You were excruciatingly excreting pee. No one was in excruciating pain. Well, you tell me that every time you pee it burns. Don't put that out there. That does not happen. That only happened one time and it was in high school
Starting point is 00:12:39 and I thought I had gonorrhea and I could not sleep at night. It was a UTI because I didn't wash my football girdle. Okay. So yeah, my girdlele was his jockstrap yeah basically but I but yeah this morning I woke up and I peed and I was wearing shorts and I was just kind of free balling it big piss but I had to walk the dog so like I'm not gonna get fully dressed to walk the dog so So you went out full commando. Yeah. In shorts. In shorts and like a shirt.
Starting point is 00:13:07 The most dangerous time to be commando is shorts. We agree on that, right? I mean, I'm not gonna flip upside down like a bat. I'm just walking the dog. You never know. You never know what could happen. What if someone pantses you? Remember pantsing back in 2008?
Starting point is 00:13:20 Yeah, but I'm 32. If someone pants me, it's a crime. I'll tell you one better. It's been a crime the whole time, Joey. Yeah, exactly. But when you're younger, it's like you do it with your friends as a joke. If one of my friends did that, I'd be like, I'm getting arrested or you're getting arrested. Or both. Can't be doing this. Depends on where you are. You might both get in trouble.
Starting point is 00:13:39 That's true. That's a really good question. I don't care about your story as much. Clearly. If your friend pants you in front of a school or something, who gets in trouble there? Everybody loses, everybody. Has anyone ever gotten pantsed in front of you and then their ding dong is just like,
Starting point is 00:14:01 bing bing bing bing bing bing. Happen to me. Your ding dong was not bing is just like, bing-ba-ding-bing-bing-bing. Yeah, yeah. Happened to me. Your ding-dong was not bing-ba-ling-bing-bing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your ding-dong was, bing-biki-dong-bing-biki-dong-ka. Disrespectful. And that's not what I was saying.
Starting point is 00:14:14 I'm saying someone got pantsed in front of me. Oh, okay. And then I had a flopping penis. Of course, you gotta, there was a penis there. Yeah. Yeah, and we were at, I was at the park too, like that's crazy. That's crazy, crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Crazy place to be pantsing. Very illegal place to get pants. I think that the person who did the pantsing was just trying to get the first layer but accidentally grabbed both. They did both layers? Yeah. That's why you, I'm not gonna give
Starting point is 00:14:36 the weight of pants someone. Yeah, no. I've never pantsed anyone. I don't believe that for a second. I'm pretty sure I've pantsed you. Without a doubt. And you've pantsed me, bitch. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Yeah, there's been an exchanging of pants for sure. But I went to the bathroom, I peed. The brotherhood of the doubling pants. I'm waiting for the crowd to die down so that I could start speaking because it's really loud in here. The ovation is just unbelievable. I'm sorry. I was just, it was there. I had to.
Starting point is 00:15:16 I know. You don't want me to tell the story I could tell, but I was peeing. Shut up. Duh. And then I went, I was like walking the dog so I don't know I wasn't paying attention or something and usually when I get into my elevator there's a giant mirror but I took the service elevator because it was like I always hit both because like in the morning. God forbid. God forbid. Yeah I get it.
Starting point is 00:15:40 What does God forbid? God forbid one comes before the other. Oh yeah I mean I don't know if that's God forbid but whatever. So I get it. What does God forbid God forbid one comes before the other? Oh, yeah I mean, I don't know if that's God forbid but whatever so I get into the service over there No, version Noah mirrors in there. I get downstairs. I'm walking out. I say hi to the doorman guy I get outside big piss I see this there's a dog in the building that I love his name is Ted and I know his owner So I said hi to the wife She was walking the dog and then you know whatever and then when I got home You saw that you had a big fat cock pee stain. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 00:16:13 See this is the thing I'm gonna it was very clearly Pissed so here's the thing is I have been out and I've gotten dribble drabbles all over my you know I know and then you throw the water on that's the trick But I didn't know I know that's tough. You got I'm sitting there with a spot or the dot Yeah, you had a little bit. I often I wonder if I could still pee my pants and I try to like I Don't know. I guess you can call it edging but I edge my piss Right, you know, did I use that term? When you're outside? Anywhere I am. I could be outside. I've been on the show before.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Wait, wait, wait. You're home and you have to piss and you'll sit on your couch and be like, I'm just gonna hold this. I wonder how far I can get. I do that with poop though. Oh, that's danger, babe. Well, that's why I do it. That's crazy. I do it because it's like, oh my god, I'm so scared, but I'm good. I'm right here in my house. You just like to fucking control your crap. Don't you I? Like to just like I like to edge my piss a little bit So like I cuz like I saw something once and it was just like you don't realize that like your brain has been basically, you know
Starting point is 00:17:19 Conditioned to stop yourself from peeing So like it's not like you're like, you have to hold it. Your brain teaches you like you're taught growing up to hold it and then you let it go. So I was just like, I have to pee right now. What happens if I just don't, if I just let go? And I went and it was like, I stopped. I was like, damn. So I do like sometimes like little like piss experiments in my into my house. What the fuck are you saying? Are you saying that you sit on your couch when you have to piss? It's mostly when I'm standing.
Starting point is 00:17:58 What significance does that have? What the fuck? But like, you see if like, you're like testing your body, like let's see if you will piss on yourself. I'll call on your bluff. Because I haven't pissed myself, like fully pissed myself in a number of years. And I mean, that could be two.
Starting point is 00:18:17 It could be one, a number is a number. Yeah, it's true. No, the last time I remember pissing myself was in middle school. And- Oh, too old. I might actually been high school way too old. How'd you do that? I was, were you in school? I, I, I've told, I think I've told this story years and years and years ago, but for any of our new friends that are
Starting point is 00:18:35 here that are joining us for the first time or not back then, uh, I was in, I remember because I remember the school I was at and I think it was middle school So probably middle school and I remember the school I was at probably go ahead also, I would hope that you remember the fucking school you went to know because I went to I went to One school from 7 to 10th grade and then I changed so like I remembered I Remembered because I was talking on the details is this half in the story. This kid can't tell stories. I Remember the school. Oh, oh, hold on.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I remember the school. I am an incredible, Who cares? Impeccable storyteller. Get to the piss. I am an impeccable storyteller and don't piss me off. Piss. I was sleeping at my dad's
Starting point is 00:19:18 and it was the night before I was on my next tell with my, like the girl. Yeah, it was the girl that I was on my Nextel with my like girl. Yeah It was the girl that I was talking to and I had at night like a can or two of coca-cola And like we were talking on the phone and whatever and you know back then Three minutes after 6 p.m. Nights and weekends, baby. You remember that sprint I do that sprint and then they bought Nextel So sprint the next I had a next telephone at the time now We're gonna talk about phones Jesus Christ this kid and I woke up in the morning bed was wet I was wet
Starting point is 00:19:48 I remember and then the phone was fucking like boiling hot like like you know when you get in your car And you touch the fucking steering wheel and it's so hot Radioactive piss that's how hot my phone was I love and I couldn't my dad had bought me the phone And I couldn't tell him like, I pissed on, not only that I was a fucking young adult, a teenager, and pissed up my pants, but then that I had pissed on my phone and my phone was done, ruined, gone, like wasn't turning on.
Starting point is 00:20:22 And he's sitting there and he's like, what is this? And I don't know if my dad was doing like, you know, kind of like he was actually naive or he was just trying to save me. The thing is saturated and pissed. We can all smell piss. But I didn't want to admit that I peed. So I told him, I was like, it could be maybe this,
Starting point is 00:20:39 maybe that. I was like, maybe it was like, maybe it was a little sticky. Maybe it was a wet dream. You know, I. The first time Frankie told that story on the show, I lost my mind because the fact that he thought, telling your dad that you came all over your phone so much to the point where it's broken,
Starting point is 00:20:56 you thought that was better than just saying, like, I accidentally pissed the bed. Like, how is that less embarrassing? I'd rather. What did your dad say to that? I don't know if I followed up. He's like no He's like no he's like I've came before dude. It's not like that Your dad's came before he you are his come did everything about that. You're your dad's come you think about that I just said that to you. Yeah, but you're yours. How about that? That's what I said there you go do you think you've done something do you think that you said something to me my dad I think he thought that I had spilled coca-cola like left it next to the bed and it
Starting point is 00:21:37 spilled all over me in the bed you know I don't think I asked this question when the first time you told the story but like I don't think I asked this question when the first time you told the story, but like, I don't think that we even really addressed the fact that like, you're saying you drank Coca-Cola. Like, as if that's some explanation as to why you're in high school pissing all over yourself. Bro, if you drink a can of Coke, two cans of Coke before and then roll over and go to sleep. Bro, I've drank 30 ounces of water before going to sleep. You know what happens? I wake up and I pee in a toilet. I remember when I was a kid, I would have dreams. I've almost pissed the bed since, but I haven't.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Of course. But like in my dreams, I dream of like going to use the bathroom. So that's how I know that I need to use the bathroom because my brain knows like if you're peeing in your dream, you know they say like you die in your dream, you die in your life. If I'm peeing in my dream, I'm pissing in real life.
Starting point is 00:22:31 You know how many people have died in my dreams? Yeah, and they're saying if you die in your dreams. I think I have. I can't with confidence say I have or haven't. I think I was shot like in a school. Wow, well, way to maybe get to the ads or maybe uh... We do have some sponsors for today. I was fucked up but that is true. I'm not lying. I am telling the truth here. I don't know. Yeah, take it easy. Don't drink all that fucking tea. You'll piss yourself.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Moving on, we do have some ads for today. The first one being, hello Fitbot. You want to get in shape? Fitbot is going to help you do that, okay? It is the best way, I would say, or actually a really cool way to get in shape because it also is, it's not only like having a personal trainer for a fraction of the cost, but it also is very educational no matter what your experience is or how much equipment you have at your disposal. Some people, you know, don't have gym memberships or anything like that. You don't need any of that.
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Starting point is 00:24:46 Go get yourself healthy. I don't know. And we also have here, pair of thieves. This company sent boxes of socks and underwear to me and Frankie. He's got them on. He's got them on, baby. What are you doing? Oh, you scared the hell out of me. Are those pair of thieves as well? Oh What are you doing oh you scared the hell out of it are those pair of these as well There you go, and we didn't even plan that by the way, we didn't even plan that you know your leg going up It's impressing me. Um, that's fit bod right there. Uh
Starting point is 00:25:20 Right in the middle Yeah, so a pair of these you know with with listen I'm not wearing pair of these right now. I got a box full my love them Frank's wearing them So you know the difference between me and him right now when I sit down you hear oh And when he sits down you don't hear that because it's hot as hell in here, so there's a little sweat There's a little stuff going on a little swampy and like that's the difference okay you want something breathable you want something that's gonna keep everything cool I don't know how they do it there's science going into the underwear but this is what you want also cool name is
Starting point is 00:25:54 it not a cool name I love it honestly and it's got like a little like they got like a domino mask on there it's pretty cool quick dry underwear with action flex is engineered to keep you dry, fresh and comfortable all day long. Believe it. Okay? This is a sweaty man. Specifically in that corner of the earth over there. But he, I bet right now, is breathable.
Starting point is 00:26:14 It's like an AC is pumping right through. Why are you standing? Go to pairofthieves.com today to get 25% off your first order. That is 25% off your first order at pairofthieves.com today to get 25% off your first order. That is 25% off your first order at pairofthieves.com. Okay. Go over there and enjoy the underwear and socks. Frank? Oh my God. They're so good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hey me, my turn. There you go. Welcome. Sorry. I'm just too excited talking about all of our friends, our sponsors, and also talking about Sorry, I'm just too excited talking about all of our friends, our sponsors, and also talking about Patreon.com, Sys of a Basement Yard, baby, baby, baby.
Starting point is 00:26:49 What do you know about us? That we love you, that we love each other, and then do you like to love in on us too? Well, go to Patreon.com, Sys of a Basement Yard, and help us continue to break motherfucking records. Ladies and gentlemen, we, as of recording, are fucking millimeters, little beep beeps away from 32,000, 32,000 patrons. We cannot begin to express our gratitude and our love and our support. So thank you so much.
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Starting point is 00:27:59 Swing, swing to the cherry top. I know that you're going to be coming to some of these shows. So do me a favor. Were you singing the All American Rejects? Yes I was. Not the lyrics. Whatever, it's all right. Swing, swing from the cherry top?
Starting point is 00:28:12 That's not what it is? All right, well, if you're coming to any of the Basement Yard Experience shows, make sure you go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. You submit your questionnaires, you submit all the information that we're going to use to have a conversation with you guys. At the point of recording, we've done DC, we've done Denver, they've been fucking incredible.
Starting point is 00:28:32 We're getting better at it, we're having fun. We want you guys to have fun with us. So go check it out, thebasimirror.com. You'll find all the information. Thebasimirror.com slash submit is where you'll find the information on the questionnaire. And then we also, we dropped that documentary babe. Yeah, we did we dropped it Uh, it was a day of self-reflection, you know, it was crazy Oh, well, I mean, yeah, I just like had a normal day Frank and went and got a rum bucket and 400 lobsters
Starting point is 00:29:00 Which I'm very jealous of oh, I'll show you the picture of what I got, bitch. You wanna see what I fucking got? No, no, no, I'm hungry, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. I'm gonna show you because I enjoy, I honestly took it to send it to you, but I forgot to send it. Why is it green? It was blue. Same question.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Don't, why, does it matter? Was it like blue raspberry flavor? It was tropical vibes was the one I got. And it was like incredible. So that's fire. But came out, if you're seeing this on- You drink a bucket of rum. Yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:31 If you're seeing this on Patreon on July 1st, the tickets go on sale today at 10 a.m. Eastern pre-sale. Make sure you use the code basement. Yes, at thebasementyard.com. At thebasementyard.com. And then if you're seeing this on July 8th, we're not sure how these tickets have moved. They could have sold out.
Starting point is 00:29:46 We don't know, but definitely if you are interested in coming, go poke around, go fart around. They should be available for general sale at that point in time. So we are in awe consistently. We love you guys. Our lives are wild and we don't get it. So.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Not at all. Yeah, let me take the glasses off, but thebas me or comm Fuck I mean we're doing we're doing Radio City But yes show comes out today. I mean, I guess this episode is on patreon today Yeah, but also there's an episode that goes out live. There's a lot of episodes. Honestly, there's a cut There's a couple of like banks of map. Yeah We've got it
Starting point is 00:30:22 We've needed to switch up some recording stuff because we're going on the road and then all this shit. So, but you know, basemear.com use that presale code basement. Go get yourself some tickets. We want to see you guys there, man. We're really excited. On the road again. And I can't wait to get on the road again. The life I love is making music with my friends.
Starting point is 00:30:40 And I can't wait to get on the road again. I don't, I didn't know the second part. I just knew the on the road again part. I don't know why I know that. I don't know any other Willie Nelson song. Is that Willie Nelson? It is Willie Nelson. I don't know any other Willie Nelson song. That guy's still alive. Can you believe that? It's all that weed brother. Yeah, he just looks like a mummy. He's still performing too. Speaking of mummies, I don't know if you heard but Ariana Grande's in a little bit of trouble. She's in a little bit in trouble. For mummies? How do you, know what?
Starting point is 00:31:12 How are you making this somehow fit together? Well, the mummification process. Nope. If you're gonna let me, let me. I know the process. Okay. I don't actually know. Yeah, so then shut up.
Starting point is 00:31:24 What do they do? You don't know about can Yeah, so then shut up. What do they do? You know about canopic jars or anything bitch. What do you know about mummies? Nothing. What'd you say charzard? What'd you say over there? Canopic jars. Yeah, the jars that look cool that they put their organs in this guy doesn't know anything about mummies. Wait, they put them in jars Yeah, dude. Yeah mummies are fucking crazy, bro Like that was real shit. Remember when people were afraid of mummies? I kind guy guy. I gotta be honest. I'm a little afraid of mummy still hell Yeah, what would you do if I like a legit mummy just walked in here, bro? Well, anytime I've seen mummies they're like walking slowly and like this I'm like I could just punch the fuck out of this thing
Starting point is 00:31:59 Yeah, but what if it grabs you? Cuz I got all those old that's what all those old like monsters brittle like if you watch those like you know, like Fucking like early like the Basil Carlo or whatever his name. I think that's the name for I Don't know what that is. That's clay face the villain in Batman But like those old which actually he has ties to this because technically clay face. All right, we get it Peter Pan Jesus but like they were all these like crazy movie monsters like the the fucking the the what the fish one What was it called the fish one Aquaman the monster of the deep or something? No, then there's Frankenstein the mummy the werewolf the werewolf
Starting point is 00:32:38 He would just choke people Brother if I was a werewolf, they're getting the yeah eaten clawing clawing you know go like you're not hiding at the very not gonna watch the original movies from fucking you know the 20s but like that's what they do like the werewolf would just come and just be like it's like dude claw and bite man yeah but the reason I'm relating it to Ariana Grande is because she got she's a little bit of hot water People are a little upset with her area people are upset with Ariana Grande Ariana Grande. Yeah, okay because she said
Starting point is 00:33:13 People found it insensitive that she said that her dream dinner date would be Jeffrey Dahmer Yeah What would they eat at this dinner We know what he would eat. We don't know what she would eat. Yeah, probably gay black men. Yeah, so that's why I related it back to mummies. Speaking of mummies,
Starting point is 00:33:32 he was running an amateurish mummification. Got it, yeah. Well, he was running a restaurant, it seems, over there. I don't know if he was eating them. Wasn't he eating them? I think he was doing a lot more just like experiments. He was preserving them. He had heads in his fridge
Starting point is 00:33:45 Yeah, so but like people were just like I think like families of some of his of Domers victims We're just like what a stupid thing to say honestly Honestly, go ahead before the documentary Still dumb, but less whatever bro documentary what documentary not the show with a man Peter. Yeah Yeah, so after the Netflix show and there was all this like, this is so fucked, you're like glorifying what this guy did or whatever the fuck.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And after that, you're like, yeah, that guy. That's how I wanna go. The guy who eats people? But also, like, I guess look up the actual quote, because I wonder if she actually put in there what the reasoning was, because I am being honest. I Know that there are a group of people that try to be fucking, you know niche and try to be you know Like, you know the go against the grain and say like who do I think is the best leader of all time?
Starting point is 00:34:39 You know Hitler, you know, and it's like a really good speech. Yeah. Yeah, it's like okay, but like Legitimately, what would Ariana Grande pop music sensation slash actress? Talk to Jeffrey Dahmer about yeah, what the fuck are you guys gonna homosexual serial killer from Milwaukee? What are they talking about area on a grand? Yeah, like what do you what is he gonna? Ask her? What do you guys have a copy? You know what I mean? What kind of, like that's such, and someone said too like it's clear that she's just trying, I actually think it was KFC from Barcelona. From on a website, it says Grande said she had talked about Dahmer with a group of young
Starting point is 00:35:18 fans during a Q&A early in her career. What's going on? What the hell? Too much Dahmer lore. Hey, listen, we've, we've been lucky enough to meet a lot of people that say very kind things to us and our fans of our show, both, you know, in New York and as we're going and doing these shows, if at any point Dahmer comes up in those brief interactions, something has gone awry. Like something is
Starting point is 00:35:43 off. I think that she just said Jeffrey Dahmer is pretty fascinating. Yeah, but not fascinating that like, what are you going to do? Criminologist Ariana Grande? I don't know. Pick his brain and talk to him about like, what is she going to do? Like, tell me why you did it. I was infatuated with serial killers when I was younger. That's how it starts, man.
Starting point is 00:36:03 There is definitely. First of all, legitimately, that's how it starts man. There is definitely. That's how it starts. First of all, legitimately, that's how it starts. Ariana Grande is like, oh he's pretty fascinating, it's pretty cool. And like, I don't know, what do you think is gonna happen when this guy is sitting across from you at dinner and he's like, you ever squeeze a cat's head like really hard? And she's like, oh
Starting point is 00:36:20 this is fascinating. This is really interesting tell me more. You know? Well it's like. What does a guy taste like? This is fascinating. This is really interesting. Tell me more. You know, well, it's like. What does a guy taste like? This is, take it the hell easy. Yeah, that's not a little. Honestly. It's just, it's funny because like what is she gonna do with any of the information
Starting point is 00:36:37 she gets from that? And also being that into serial killers, I hope we are at a point in stage and realizing like that is a massive red flag Like there is something interesting about them the psychological aspect absolutely, but like that's probably what she's referring to Frank She wants to sit and hang with him brother. Yeah, I don't have dinner like like fucking What's his name the guy from Nickelodeon that was pen pals with John Wayne Gacy? Oh, yeah, that didn't set off any alarms to people. I was gonna say Josh Peck. That's not right
Starting point is 00:37:04 Well, his name is I'm not gonna say his name. I don't wanna fucking, Josh Peck was from Drake and Jive. No, I know. There's connections, but we're not gonna do that now. Just, just like, like that is strange. Like these people, like the Charles Manson got married. You know what I mean? I know he didn't physically kill anyone, but like, still.
Starting point is 00:37:24 I mean, I'll say that he killed people well you would be legally incorrect he was responsible for deaths that it is and that sounds like killing that is no did he pick up a knife no as far as we know well then you also believe that the saw saw puppet was responsible for all the deaths. Not a puppet. The dude who was doing the, bro by the way, the ending of the first saw. What a fucking twister.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Honestly, anytime I close a door, I try to like reenact that closing of the door. I do that constantly. Game over. Game over. I like shut my fridge and like yell at like an avocado in my fucking fridge like game over. I remember when I first watched that movie, my sister showed it to me and she's like,
Starting point is 00:38:11 you'll never guess who the killer is. So I literally like a piece of shit was just like, him, him, him, him, her, him, her, and still couldn't fucking get it. I, yeah, I don't like when people do that and they kind of ruin it. It's like, cause now I have to like, now I'm paying attention to the point where it's like, I'm real, I'm trying to ruin the movie. Like I just want to be right.
Starting point is 00:38:33 And I'm not enjoying it bro. I love her to death, but Becca is the worst person to watch like thrillers or horror movies with. Cause it's like, Oh, that's not. And then you're like, stop. She'll watch and she'll literally just be like foreshadowing foreshadowing for that's what that is and I'm just like yeah and she's or if it's one that I've seen that she hasn't she's like he's a killer right he's the killer I know like you're and I'm just like just watch the movie yeah I actually just saw this yesterday but it's an old clip but you remember at Matt Pavich of course so he
Starting point is 00:39:04 put up he put up this uh stand he he has a standup joke where he, I don't want to butcher it, but like, go check him out on Instagram, Matt Pavich. But he has a clip where he talks about like Netflix and chill. He's like, I don't know where Netflix and chill came from. Cause whenever I watch Netflix, it's usually Netflix and, then it's just him going like, can you shush? Can you shush? And then he like just him going like, can you shush?
Starting point is 00:39:25 Can you shush? And then he like stops and just goes, I don't know, I don't know. How could I know more than you know? You know, like all the questions. It's like, how to, wait, who's that? I'm like, I haven't seen this. Well, you know what it is with Becca,
Starting point is 00:39:38 and we've figured it out for her. It's a defense mechanism because she grew up in a- Oh yeah, you can talk about this. That she couldn't watch horror movies. out for her to defense mechanism because she grew up in a Christian household that she couldn't watch horror movies. So now she sees it and she just laughs at it because like it's like, is she scared? I don't think she's really scared. I think like her brain just has like fucking figured out a way to just kind of like take the piss out of it a little bit.
Starting point is 00:40:00 You know what I mean? Like we watched a little British there. Good for you. It's like the piss out of it. Taking a full cake piss. I also said posh earlier in a non ironic way slowly transitioning into Harry Styles, I Have been told I resemble him Negative people have said no more positive people. No positive people have said that but yeah
Starting point is 00:40:21 She liked to like feel better about the fact it's like to like not feel scared She's just like she sees like and fact that like to like not feel scared She's just like she sees like and she's like, oh, that's clearly CGI. So I'm not scared or like that's clearly fake blood So I'm not scared. Do you like scary movies? I don't love scary. Really? I love them But I'm not do you like being scared or when you can sense that like oh my god, this is gonna be a scary scene I what do you do? Because sometimes I'm like And I'm like look at my like like in a scary movie like you know like the music is like building up and I'm like Oh, no, I watch I fully watch I'll rewatch scary movies
Starting point is 00:40:55 I'm not the level of like horror fan that like has like the streaming service where it's like all the like schlocky You know be see hard. I Don't know what that word means. It's just like the horror movies that are just known for like their gratuity. They're like torture porn, basically. Like, like, I haven't seen gratuity. Gratuity. Yeah. Like I haven't seen it yet. I think that's the wrong word. Gratuity. It's gratuitous.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Isn't gratuity like what you tip at a restaurant? I think it can mean a couple things. Are you saying like gruesomeness? I think it can mean. Gratuity. It can mean different things. I hope it's wrong. Gratuity.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Something. Extra? Something give, wait a sec, hold on. Go ahead, go ahead, don't read it. Because it does fit, but also I'm not finding how it fits. Google 20% gratuity. No, but like it is normally it's like the fucking, what's his name here?
Starting point is 00:41:51 What's his name? Oxford said like it's a tip, but then there's another definition where it's like something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service. So like technically like- That's a tip, my god. But like gratuitous violence is the term in which I'm using it for is like, usually for some service so like technically like Like gratuitous violence is the term in which I'm using it for is like it's they're doing it just to do it like there's
Starting point is 00:42:11 No point to do it like okay So he's digging out. That's a good job. I'm not gonna lie you got dirt underneath your fingernails from crawling out of that hole but like You're like yeah I haven't seen it, but like the terrifier movies are like that disgusting. They're not there's no point to them I started watching it. I was ten minutes in I'm like this guy's already cut a girl in half and eaten her fucking like liver I'm good. That's like the the human centipede movies same thing okay I actually liked those though oh like this crazy like this crazy Ariana Grande wants to have dinner with you next yeah no but I love scary movies and I'll watch them over and over and over did you see a centipede too I saw all three of the centipedes I've never seen
Starting point is 00:43:02 centipede 3 I I'll tell you this centipedes. I've never seen centipede three. I I'll tell you this Centithreed said if the human centithreed. Yeah was the worst of them. I think I watched them with you Maybe two we've watched I think I know I think we definitely watched two so one like three times Yeah, one was like the tame one two was like this is wild. They got jerks off with sandpaper I'm like definitely something wrong with that guy Three Like there were two scenes and three I couldn't watch because they were just insane. Poop?
Starting point is 00:43:32 One of them involved poop. But like not how you would imagine poop. Like the guy, it was like, so unless I'm mistaken, it's like a prison warden and his thing is like to like torture the prisoners, he wants to make a human centipede. Okay. And one of the prisoners is like a real piece of shit
Starting point is 00:43:50 or something and he has a colostomy bag and he pulls the guy's colostomy bag out and like fingers it and then. The warden? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's another one where he has a Jar a real fucking sick twisted bastard I mean put that guy in jail if that guy was like I would love to have dinner or Jeffrey Dahmer you'd be like yeah
Starting point is 00:44:18 Like if I if I was getting married and they were both yes What about the same table a strange dinner date that would. Ariana Grande the director of Human Centipede and fucking Jeffrey Dahmer. And then the guy you know the Nickelodeon guy that was pen pals with John Wayne Gacy. Yeah and John Wayne Gacy in full clown makeup. Terrifying. Just a disgusting people out there in the world. Yeah fuck them all. definitely. They deserve every bit of pain and torture they're getting in hell, if there is one. Yeah, you know what? We're gonna get to that.
Starting point is 00:44:51 But, I, actually I don't know if I could say that, but we'll figure it out. But we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being Hello Stitch Fix. It's like having a personal stylist, okay? They're gonna send you new clothes. You go onto this website, you fill out a style quiz, you tell them what you like,
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Starting point is 00:46:17 That wasn't real, dude. Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo right there. And lastly here, we have kickoff, okay? When it comes time to buy a home, a car, or find a new apartment, bad credit can be a big roadblock. Okay, if you're not building credit, what are you doing? But kickoff is gonna help you, okay?
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Starting point is 00:47:47 premium customers with starting credit below 600 who made their first on time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside of kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Terms and conditions may apply, offer or subject to change change individual results may vary okay? And I guess to get out of here. I think that we should probably talk about the big elephant in the room Taylor Swift Her jet oh, I was gonna say Joey no careful those Swiftie. I'm not trying to fucking Will I am a we talking about you better be a Swifty bitch. I'm a Swifty too apparently. See, he just added that last one.
Starting point is 00:48:28 I don't know, I don't know, am I? I don't know, will they allow me in? Are they gatekeepers like Star Trek fans or will they be like welcoming? There is an outside chance that I'm at a Taylor Swift concert at some point this year. This year? When the hell are you gonna get the chance to do that, Joey?
Starting point is 00:48:40 We're fucking away from most of it. After the tour. A cold Swifty tour? It might be. Taylor, Miss Swift. Right, because she's watching. I think, at least, if not her, one of her buddies is. One of her buddies. Invite us.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Me? I would love to go. We would love to come, maybe some of our friends. You saw Travis Kelce was out there on stage? Yeah, good for him, I'll bring the family. I'll wear the suit. I'll wear the top hat. I'll give you this. You can fully raise my two girls,
Starting point is 00:49:10 my two daughters to be in your image. Like that is something that you will, if you want it, you know. Yeah. Dude, I'll put on the top hat and do whatever that was. It was like a silent movie out there that Travis Scott, Travis Scott, Travis Kelce was doing. Travis Scott wasn't up there.
Starting point is 00:49:23 That's for sure. It definitely was not him. but but yeah Taylor Swift apparently her her jet was like spray-painted and allies yeah I saw this that there are oil protesters that not only did they vandalize Taylor Swift's private jet they also vandalized Stonehenge the rocks the rocks do well what what did Stonehenge? The rocks? The rocks, dude. Oh, what did Stonehenge do to you? Those poor rocks? They're just they're just good big little rocks and they can't what are they gonna do, bro? They can't do anything. They can't defend themselves. And also of all the monuments and things like natural wonders of the world that we have Although that's not a natural wonder of the world. Henge. What does Stonehenge do to you?
Starting point is 00:50:04 They're just rocks standing there. Seems like a nice guy. Like I that we have, although that's not a natural wonder of the world. What does Stonehenge do to you? They're just rocks standing there, dude. Seems like a nice guy. Like, I can understand if you're upset at the Eiffel Tower because it's like the French, the bourgeoisie, you know what I'm saying? Or if you like- And it's so pointy. It is a little pointy.
Starting point is 00:50:18 It makes it feel evil. It looks, it does, honestly, it does. Also, things that are very tall feel evil. They do because they are literally just a Celebration especially in America of capitalism. So like go vandalize something else something tall I'm not saying to do this but like it would make sense if you were to vandalize like the Empire State Building Why?
Starting point is 00:50:40 You got to be careful with telling or suggesting people do anything to buildings in New York. You just did that. Don't do that. That's what I said. Don't. Right. Like I can see Stonehenge. It's just stones.
Starting point is 00:50:54 What did you do? How tall are they? They're probably not even that tall. They're not even that big. They're maybe like 25 feet because back then. 25 feet? Maybe smaller. How tall is rocks at Stone stone wall 16 feet 13 13 feet oh
Starting point is 00:51:14 little guys like 13 I like you know they're just cute rocks yeah why do you have to be mean where is it England It is like outside of England somewhere It's just a collection of rocks like having a meeting and like exactly Exactly, they they have done nothing to harm anyone if anything that is the least like symbol of like oil I Think that they chose it because like people love it and it's like a hey oil pro awareness Hey oil protesters feel bad for the wrong Yeah, why would you do that? I also feel bad for Taylor Swift's private chat, but something about her tells me that I'll tell you this right now
Starting point is 00:51:53 Be okay I and I wanted to say this on stage, but I completely forgot but when we went to DC we flew That flight is a minute that flight is a minute basically 35 max it's legit yeah it's I think legitimately it's like 39 minutes or something for us like in the air and we got there and immediately I was like oh I get why Taylor Swift doesn't give a shit about the environment like I totally understand because that's awesome like imagine having to throw up imagine having to fly three hours, drive three hours, but you could just fly
Starting point is 00:52:28 and it's like a half an hour. Oh my God. I actually saw a TikTok. I mean, there is something, flying coach doesn't make sense because you get there an hour before, then you wait and then you fucking, like it ends up taking about the same time
Starting point is 00:52:39 it would probably take to drive. Yeah. But like, you know, it was just cool to be like, boop, and you're there, I'm in DC, you know what I mean? And I actually saw a TikTok of her, like, she like broke the record for like Shortest Flight, and it was like two minutes, just to beat traffic. Which is like, bro.
Starting point is 00:53:02 That's a little crazy, but. Obviously, we're like this is ridiculous like maybe shouldn't do that the the goddamn environment what do you fucking think in T-Swiss absolutely I'll come to your concert but you know whatever but I will say even the people who are like bro this is horrible for the environment like we should not like you have to admit pretty cool though also you know who's saying that the people those incredible people out there that have never sat in five hours of traffic for no apparent Reason at all. I am a different thing in traffic Joey you you are one of the worst people I've ever seen in traffic
Starting point is 00:53:38 Like I hate it because you like I could sit in traffic and be like this sucks But like what am I gonna do can't Joey? Like I could sit in traffic and be like this sucks, but like what am I gonna do? Can't. Joey. Can't do it. It's not like that. So like fully believe and expect if and when
Starting point is 00:53:50 Joey buys another private jet, he will be taking private jet flights from his apartment to the studio. No. Yeah. It's obviously hyperbole for the sake of comedy. Yeah. I mean, I think of for the sake of comedy. Yeah. I mean, I think if something like, what's the cutoff?
Starting point is 00:54:08 What's like, what's the middle ground for the people who are like, bro, that's- I think honestly, I think anything under an hour shouldn't be a flight. Obviously. That's obviously. Like we legit for DC, it was like this. We got up, we went down.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Oh, you mean an hour in the air? Yeah. Oh no, I don't agree with that. No? I think if it's under an hour drive, obviously. Oh no, yeah, duh. But I'm saying- No, I think you should be able to fly to Boston.
Starting point is 00:54:33 There shouldn't be anything under an hour. Sorry, I think that's- Nah. Maybe I'm crazy, but like, if Boston is like the example you use, just do a circle Just do one circle make it an hour and then touchdown like you shouldn't be there shouldn't be any flights under an hour No, I don't believe that I don't I don't agree with that. But uh
Starting point is 00:54:57 Two minutes on a flight is great. It was two minutes. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if it's fucking real I mean, it just saw a tik-tok video. So I don't know what I would ride private But I'm afraid me too. I don't say I don't know that I want to fly private anyway. I think it's like $10,000 That's crazy a flight. Yeah, I Mean for you bro, you saw that I know you guys saw that really quick Frankie was just like and then pointed at me no, but you were gonna take a private $10,000 I was not going to take a private jet for $10,000. If it, honestly.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Would you get on one? If it was like a cross country, like a five hour flight, I would consider. Oh, that I would. If it was not $10,000. I would only take a private plane, like. 30 minutes. Under three hours.
Starting point is 00:55:41 But to go across the country, that's way too much panic for me. Really? Yeah, cause I just, it's small. Just keep, listen, Under three hours, but to go across the country that's way too much panic for me Yeah, cuz I just just keep it all just keep uh listen just give me a parachute as long as I know I have a parachute readily available. I feel okay. How do you Frank? What? Actually, how hard can parachuting be is that stupid to say? Oh, it seems and looks and this might be blind confidence and stupidity and ignorance all working at the same time It is by the way, but go ahead. I just imagine you jump out you got a backpack on and you just pull
Starting point is 00:56:11 I will say my legs would probably be everywhere like it's it's hard. I've done the indoor skydiving thing and It's like not easy. Come on. No, bro. You start spinning. You're fucked. You just stop spinning That's what I'm saying. It's been it's the it's been debunked just right there. You're spinning stop stop Also, if you're depressed, bro, it'd be happy just stop being depressed. Yeah, that's it. Just fucking smile We got a lot of you don't think about it, you know Yeah, what can the anxiety stop thinking about it? Your mom died get over it. Yeah, who cares? She's gone. Nothing you could do right being sad ain't gonna fix it What's it gonna do? You're gonna sulk meaningless But bro, no, I mean I
Starting point is 00:56:59 Think I could figure out a parachute. Yeah, I could figure out a parachute, bro I saw a video of two planes that like it was four people who were like jumping out and parachuting and shit. Skydiving, I don't know why I'm saying that. But the planes hit each other. And then they had to jump out and like, bro, imagine that.
Starting point is 00:57:19 I know that there's like some science behind like you need to be a certain height in order to like release, what is it to to deploy a power deploy your parachute but like what is that man you could what does that mean a parachute bro I'll just land like I'll just land on something soft I'll be alright what I'll find a hay bale or something land in that Assassin's Creed style will be good a hay bale or something land in that Assassin's Creed style will be good. A hay bale is definitely not soft. Like a big ass big ass like hump a hay? A big ass hump a hay. Yeah that'll
Starting point is 00:57:51 be alright. I think that would hurt you buddy. Nah that'll be alright. You ever see the video of the guy who jumps out of the plane with no parachute and then just lands in a big net? I'd love to net net. What you just said was nothing. I'd love to land in a net. Why? I'd love to land on like those big like you see like stuntmen jumping off buildings onto like big like, oh, like and like the air pops out the side. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Like Tom Cruise doing like a front flip off a four story building. Yes, I would love to do that. Bro. That guy's a
Starting point is 00:58:20 sicko. You ever see the video of him driving off of like a cliff? Yeah. On a motorcycle. motorcycle and he just like and then let's go with a motorcycle like Actually did that multiple times you see the one where he jumped the building and broke his ankle and like got up and kept running with a broken ankle I Did see that guy's crazy. He's like, yeah, I think I broke it back there. Let's tape it up and do it again I'm like, yo, dude, you broke your your ankle man yeah crazy like take a fucking break my G Tom Cruise man what a guy but yeah Taylor Swift man she got her shit vandalized I feel a little bad but it was orange paint which is dope yeah anything else makes it look cooler yeah
Starting point is 00:58:57 I just finish up the whole thing yeah oh no keep going you know yeah also they sprayed the side of it if you want to make some fucking I'm not you know and I'm not trying to you know Taylor if you're watching this some you know I still want to come to the show I want to say love story friends of the show but if you really wanted to do some damage, bro the windshield Don't do the side no one care. You can still fly with the side. Holy shit. I didn't even think of that I thought you were gonna say the bottom So like people can look up and say like that's Taylor Swift
Starting point is 00:59:21 I thought you were gonna say the bottom. So like people can look up and say like, that's Taylor Swift. Do you think you can see the bottom of airplanes when they're like up in the sky like that? Sometimes. No. Do you ever see airplanes? I don't know if I should say this.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Then don't. Sometimes when I'm like walking around and then I see an airplane. I just imagine it You know what I mean? Stop stop. Seriously stop. I don't stop. I'm dead serious. Don't fucking complete this thought now I feel like I'm getting I'm earning a seat at the table with Jeffrey Dahmer and everyone you're thinking about that and it's not that I'm like Fanticizing like I wanted to have it. It's just like I'm scared stop. I I'm like fantasizing like I wanted to have it. It's just like I'm scared stop I
Starting point is 01:00:08 Do that when I look at the moon though or like the Sun I'm just like you look at the moon and they picture it like what just getting bigger and crashing into us or something like that Bro, there's videos on tik tok or shit. I know that's why that's why I don't go down that Nightmare you ever see the video. It's like fucking not AI, but it's like a you know whatever CGI shit But it's like you're an astronaut. It's like POV you're an astronaut on the fucking moon, and then the earth just starts exploding And then you're stuck and then you're like my what am I where am I you know what you do in that situation? You take off your mask, and you just freeze. Yeah, you saw alright. See you later everyone, bro bro that's crazy how long do you think you can last in space zero zero no no a space station like you're in a space station I mean you need resources so like I don't know you had some rations some I need lots okay but if you had
Starting point is 01:00:57 enough to sustain the rest of your life you think you're making it I think at a certain point no yeah it's just me by myself and I got like nothing. Uh, you have one other person. Who? Someone who someone I don't know. That'll make me feel myself quicker. If I'm being honest. No, someone who like is like the 13th best person in your life. I'd have to sit here and draw numbers. See, I'm just saying, like it's a person that like you like, but it's not like, you know, I think because of like where I like now being a husband and dad, like it doesn't matter who's up there.
Starting point is 01:01:34 If it's not my kids or my wife, I don't it doesn't matter who it is. It'll just prolong the inevitable. So if we're stuck in a space station, you're going to just open the window, kill us both. Yeah, I probably I don't know. Open the window like you could fucking crank it down. Just like crack it open. I'm pretty sure they account for people not opening windows. I think my heart would explode.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Yeah, it'd be alright. Because my heart rate would just sit pretty at 190. Yeah, you'd be dead. And you know, probably three days of that and it's a wrap. What could be, it can't be that. I also saw a thing that Japan, did we talk about this?
Starting point is 01:02:12 No. That they were, they're like, creating. Oh, a building that goes into space? I don't know if it's a building. I think it's just like an elevator. Bro, I'm never going on that one. There's no way that works, dude. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:02:23 There's no way that works. Japan. But also it's Japan's Japan. It's Japan We'll give you we'll give you this we'll give you one of these But it ain't gonna work. I don't I don't know you've given us a lot of really cool stuff to be fair I didn't think that Saudi Arabia was gonna fucking build a line city, but they're doing that a line city You never heard about the line. They're doing like it's like a line city? You never heard about the line?
Starting point is 01:02:42 They're doing like, it's like three miles long or something and like a mile wide. And it's like, they're building a city in the middle of the fucking desert. And it's just like a line. So it's like, yeah. I mean, it's crazy that we're able to even do something like that.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Also they're just printing money. Money is not real. Money's not real. And none of the points, everything's made up. None of it matters. Literally, we're living. We're all on borrowed time. Too much?
Starting point is 01:03:10 Yeah, I mean, you don't have to, we're talking about the moon exploding. You don't have to say shit like that. Anyway, Taylor, please, we would love a, you know, we'd love to get on stage. We don't even wanna just go to your concert. We wanna be part of the concert. We do wanna be on stage and be a part of the show
Starting point is 01:03:22 in some capacity. Yeah, we would like some attention as well. We would like to make this night about us in some way. It has been about you for the concert. We do want to be on stage and be a part of the show in some capacity. We would like some attention as well. We would like to make this night about us in some way. It has been about you for a while. Time to switch it to us. I think it would be nice if you gave someone else a shot for just a hot sec. And if you need me to play the guitar as well, I can't. He'll fake it. He'll fake it very well. I can fake it very extremely well. And you will be shocked at how well I can sing music. Sing music? Yeah, you would be shocked by that well I can sing music.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Sing music? Yeah, you would be shocked by that as well. Or maybe we could open. I don't know. We'll figure it out. But let us know. Send me an email. Anyway, we'll see you at the show.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Yeah, we will see you there and we really appreciate you giving us time. Taylor Swift is coming to the rest of the shows at the Basement Yards. If you haven't gotten your tickets, she's going to come to all of them. If you haven't gotten, I don't even know what's available, but like expect Taylor to be there in some capacity. Obviously. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:04:10 She was at all the other ones too. She just asked not to be seen. Exactly, yeah. So, but yeah, that is all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? At Valvres885 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media. Then make sure you go check out the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Go to thebasementyard.com. Check out all the information about our upcoming basement yard experience shows. Patreon.com slash TheBasementAire. Go to TheBasementAire.com. Check out all the information about our upcoming Basement Yard Experience shows. Yep, and you can go follow me at JoeSantagato. Go follow the show at TheBasementYard. I take stock at Instagram.
Starting point is 01:04:33 And yeah, man, go to TheBasementAire.com right now. There's tickets for the Radio City show. Use the pre-sale code if you need one. Is basement. Let's sell this motherfucker out. See you guys there. See you guys next time.

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