The Basement Yard - #470 - Welcome To Hell's Kitchen

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

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Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the base. We're twins. Damn it. I was going to the twins mint yard, the twins. Because we're twinsies right now a little bit. Look, look at the shirt. I mean, you're in Kif because obviously you need to wear name brand stuff or else. How are you going to measure your own worth?

But we're kind of twinsy a little bit right now. What shirt is that? What are you wearing? Just a shirt. Words. It's just a t-shirt. Oh, I don't know. It's just a t-shirt.

What socks are you wearing? Do those have spooky skeletons on them? Spooky season. You're into it. Have you watched any of the, we watched. I'll tell you what I watched. I'll tell you Spooky season. You're into it. Have you watched any of the, we watched- I'll tell you what I watched. I'll tell you what I watched. You watched Casper?

Nope. Oh. We watched it. We watched it the other day. Did you? I should, I should. I will tell you right now, without hyperbole, Good experience.

In my personal top 50 of movies, period. Wow. Personal, personal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's going around and he's you know, it's so good, dude It is good, but I was gonna say I'll tell you what I did watch Becca posted something I think it was close friends, but it was like now I'm giving secrets away It was like the bed sheets and everything. Oh on the when she made the little bed for them Yeah, they're watching spooky Halloween. It was well, bro

We've we're all spooky Halloween season out like we're ready. We put up some decorations last night I saw the fucking thing that you talked about that you bought worse like Mickey Mouse, and he's got like he's like pumpkin Isn't it so sweet cute fun? Isn't it I'm so excited. I like it. I thought it was nice. You I saw it on Costco's It does well that one doesn't we have another one that's a boat It's a pirate ship and it rocks back and forth. I like that. I'm telling you right now if I see something like Christmas themed at a Costco website or something. It's coming home with daddy see yeah

Because any I wish I had a home if I had a home, bro, I would be putting stupid shit up in front of me. Hey, hey, home isn't a place. It's a feeling. Okay, yeah, I was like, say the thing. You know, you've got home. Home could be people, home could be. Home is where the heart is.

Home is where the heart is, babe. Have you seen that movie? What movie? Natalie Portman, having a baby in a Walmart, tornadoes, it's crazy. Don't care about any of that stuff Yeah, you know why do I want to watch that? I don't know it's very I want to I Walmart is a real place that bad things happen at I don't want to watch movies where stuff happens

She had a baby in one okay Say I can guarantee that's not the first time or last time a baby has been birthed in Walmart guess what she named it Wally America I'm gonna murder whoever made that movie. But Costco, Costco. We can agree, right? I haven't been inside of the premises in a while. In a while, but we-

Does Costco do the samples? Or is that BJ's? Oh yeah, oh yeah. You can get them at both, babe. Oh, BJ's does samples. Bro, we used to, yeah, hell yeah. We used to go, when it was just Becca Miles and I, we used to go at Costco at like noon

and that would be our lunch, is we would go and just fucking sample from the 90 different things that they would have. Hey man, you're not homeless. That is an insane act to be doing as a family. We would just go there and that's our life. No, but Miles loved them. Miles loved it.

He would walk around, he'd get so excited and he'd say, oh, can we go to Costco for the examples? That's what he would call them. The examples. And he's right, they are examples. It honestly is like a shitty Epcot. You know like you get a bunch of different Yeah, dude I'm gonna go to the meat department

I'm gonna try these fucking beer e of tacos that they're making and then I'm gonna go two aisles down and I'm gonna try This fucking stinky cheese that they got and then another three aisles over there's coconut water. Yeah Yeah, it's the greatest place on earth. That's heavy. It's Disney, but in brick New Jersey. Right. You know? It's Disney. Yeah, no. I'm gonna tell you something right now. I haven't had a sample in so long.

You're not in this stage of life yet. When you get into this stage of life of having children, you're gonna lose your mind for Bluey. Bluey is the greatest kids piece of media that has come out possibly ever. The dog? The dog's. It was family of dogs. Okay.

Alright. It is the cutest but greatest like it's not like a kids show where it's just like alright well it's a kids show. Bro that thing will take your heart and rip it to shreds.s I don't kid shows don't do that for some dude rip it. There is an episode Where bluey's mom talks about like the feeling of competition with other parents when bluey started walking? Goddamn dude mad real and it is that it is so Australia. You finally did something right it is this And it is so Australia, you finally did something right. It is this. What?

Crazy thing to say? I mean, they've done other stuff. Like what? Fucking... See? Shoeys. What the hell is that? That's when you drink a beer out of your shoe.

Great, Joey, great. Listen, if we ever do a show in Australia, they're not gonna let us leave without doing it, so wear your favorite pair of shoes. Okay, my cleanest pair. Yeah, I'll buy a new pair that day but if Costco Has like a bluey decoration Christmas theme

I'm gonna buy everything and Hord it yeah like an old white man right with dead cats under newspapers. You know what I'm saying now I'm a little confused but I do get the sentiment you're gonna get there So just wait till you have a house because then you're gonna grow and you're gonna get into the situation I'm in right now where I want to buy everything everything and my wife is like We don't have enough space to have all this. Yeah, I saw a tick-tock the other day It felt like it was 10 hours long, but I watched the entire thing and it was this woman setting

up Halloween decorations in her front yard. It looks like a giant skeleton is crawling out of the ground. I'm like, this is awesome. Yeah, those are cool. Those are cool. I saw one today that is a 30 foot tall Jack Skellington. That's tall. Not blow up. That's bigger than your house. Bro. Yes, dude. It's huge. Jesus. Kind of about it though.

You want a big Jack. I would. Crazy. Yeah. A little crazy. A little crazy. I'm, I don't know if I'm going to go that far, but like I'm getting like a lot like once the kids are older And it's a little easier to like set up and decorate and stuff like that. I'm going all out, baby Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, you got it. You're inside you do a lot of inside stuff do a lot of inside So the insides got you know, that's where you're living most of the time Are you a napkin family like do the napkins change? We don't have napkins We have them my mom's a napkin woman

We don't we had napkins, but we stopped using them because Maeve would throw them everywhere. Oh, that's annoying. And we had like the thing- Wait, you have no napkins in general? We have paper towels. We use paper towels. Oh, you have no napkins? We have them. We just don't use them. There's literally bags of napkins in our back pantry. Really?

Yeah, they just don't get touched. Oh, she just rips them and throws them around. She just- they go everywhere. There's no point Maeve is The most goblin child that you could ever imagine Yeah, so there's no point of having anything like that because it will be all over the place I was asking more of like the Holidays like my mom always switches out the napkins. That'd be cute. We'll get there. We have like hand towels Hand towels, of course. We got we got Casper hand towels

We got Casper hand towels. What do they look like? It's Casper with like a little like trick-or-treat jack-o-lantern Bucket. Are they white? No, they're black. Okay. Or gray Not white though. Yeah, it can't be white Casper's chillin. He's hanging out. He's like and Casper's chilling, he's hanging out. He's like... Do the kids like Halloween? Hell yeah. Nice.

Candy, bro. Ruby's been asking for, she calls it happy Halloween. She's been asking for it for months. Do you have costumes planned out? I know you do. It's all done already. Do the kids get a say or is it just one day? Oh no no not absolutely

Well, no, we have two costumes like we have so we're going to my nephew's birthday party, which I assume you'll be at too When is that? After the weekend after Radio City. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll be there which is is that a costume party. Yes, it is Oh, I have one in my closet. Yeah, you're fine We already figured it out and I I just wanna throw this out there. Go. I won. You won? And I didn't even say I won, Becca and I won.

You know what? When you have kids, Joey, you're gonna find this. You're gonna want to turn them into, in some ways, little versions of yourself. Your interests, your likes, for instance. You guys are a bunch of Pokemon. Well, no. That'd be a good one, but no. For instance. You guys are a bunch of Pokemon. Well, no. That'd be a good one, but no.

For instance. Batman. Yeah. Yep. Tell me that Maeve is like the penguin or something. No, so Ruby's Batman. Maeve. You're not Batman?

Listen to me, baby. Wow, you gave it a, that's a good dad. I relinquish Batman-ish. You're the fucking Riddler, aren't you? Yep, I am the Riddler. She's Poison Ivy. That's I relinquish wait who oh you're the fucking Riddler aren't you yep? I am the Riddler. She's poison ivy. She's Catwoman Okay, and then Ruby is Batman Maeve is Robin and then Miles is the Joker I won folks And I didn't even say I won because Becca is as big if not bigger of a Batman fan than I am something shady You might not even know we won won. Wow. We did it.

One day, because you know the kids like they want to watch the same things they've been watching all the time and one day I was like I threw on the Batman show from when we were kids the animated one from Fox 5. Yeah. Hook line sinker baby. Have you ever showed them something and they were like sucks. Power Rangers. Damn.

Yeah they don't care for Power Rangers. Damn. Yeah, they don't care for Power Rangers. Pokemon, honestly, they're not, like Ruby doesn't really, she knows Pokemon. Pikachu, oh, I'll put it on, get it to the fuck off my TV. Kind of racist against Japanese people when you think about it,

to hate Pokemon, when you really think about it. If you sit with it for a bit, it feels like it could be racially charged. Okay, I'll lose this one. Okay. All right But you'll see you're gonna make your kids want to be a little version to you like they're gonna like the same things you Like like they're gonna come out and they're gonna have like fucking like paddock pajamas and shit like that You know exactly your baby's pacifier is gonna be fucking Rolex. Yeah, you know The bottles are gonna be all kith. Yeah. Yeah, you know

Yeah, I know but that is exciting that is nice you guys usually do like a whole family thing every year, right? Yeah, I think this year though Ruby out of nowhere said she wants to be a pumpkin Which is the cutest fucking thing in the world? Uh-huh So I think for like that miles wants to be inspector gadget Ruby wants to be a pumpkin, which is the cutest fucking thing in the world. So I think for like that, Miles wants to be Inspector Gadget, Ruby wants to be a pumpkin. That's still a thing. He watches the show from when we were kids.

Is there any modern TV that is on in your house besides Bluey? Everything you go in our house is from the 90s. Bluey, Octonauts. Who's that? The Octonauts, you don't know the Octonauts? No, is that? I'm triggering, there's a...

Eight astronauts? There is a home of, there's someone that is watching this right now that I said that and they're just like, oh fuck. Because their kids are walking in like, what the hell? Octonauts? What the hell is that? Octonauts, they're like little, like,

deep sea diver, explorer characters. Fire. Yeah. My nephew's really into Paw Patrol. I don't care. Okay. Paw Patrol is in don't care. Okay. Paw Patrol is in our house too, you know. Rebel Chase, Rocky Zuma, Paw Patrol, we're on a roll, here we go, a Paw Patrol.

Oh, oh, oh, got it. But yeah, it's a lot of stuff, what's wrong with that? And then Beetle Borgs and. Well, we tried putting on Beetle Borgs, but it's not available anywhere to watch for free, and I'm not buying the whole season for 399 on Amazon Prime $4 That's where you draw the line

Yeah, no wonder bro this kid's going and having lunch with his family at Costco and eating the samples He's not paying $4 for something. Are you fucking kidding me? What bitch? Bitch that shit was probably $50 that you're holding right now. This is a gift. From who? A Costco sample. No. No, my sister-in-law. But, since we're on the topic,

I keep winning, baby. I keep winning. I'm on a roll. I'm fucking unbeaten right now. Yeah? Ask. Go ahead. How are you unbeaten? I did it. What'd you do? I saved Red Lobster.

Folks! And the crowd goes crazy. What happened? They have exited bankruptcy Other better back. They're back. Their banks are erupting wait How can they because they found someone to buy them and they're operating with they close a bunch of stores They got saved so they're getting lean now now. Yeah, they basically they went on the biggest loser They're like yo, maybe we could close some of these red lobster. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe every town doesn't need four. Yeah

Good thinking every ball doesn't need three of yeah, exactly so I Did it you brought it back? I single-handedly myself and flavor Flav so flavor Flav he bought it No, but I've seen he's been going to a bunch of Red Lobsters and buying the whole menu. Nice. So Red Lobster, just throwing this out there, Red Lobster, you sent me a really nice package and I really appreciate it. My self and Flavor Flav saved your company.

Just wanna put that out there. Where's the closest Red Lobster to you? Within a 10 minute drive. When was the last time you went? Yeah, exactly. Well, hold on. You little whore. You haven't even been there.

But I don't, you need to understand something, okay? You were doing it with energy? It was the vigor in which I was promoting Red Lobster. They got people out in droves to save an American staple of middle income families middle, middle income families. You know? Yeah.

Oh, I did it. What have you saved, bitch? What companies have you saved that have gone under? That have gone under none. I don't really know that I have done that. Well, one, zero. God. Just want to throw that out there.

Honestly, Red red lobster is an interesting name for that store when you think about it I don't know it's just lobster like you're naming your thing red lobster yeah like that's weird why like outback steakhouse is like okay it's a steakhouse in the outback and like red lobster is just a thing well it's a thing that's cooked lobsters are not red until they're cooked, then they become red. Is that true? Yeah, they're like brownie and spotty and stuff like that.

When you go into Red Lobster, is that the place where you're like, oh, I want that one? You can. They have like a tank? They have a tank, yeah. But you could do that at any like grocery store now. When's the last time you went to like-

Grocery store? Yeah, they have one of those- Not the grocery store near me. Then fuck your grocery store. But like there's shop rights and stopping shops by me that have lobster tanks Yeah, and you go anytime I went with the kids They love to watch it because they see the you know Enslaved lobsters that are in there fucking how fun a hospice basically like where you think these are going fucking hell in a little bit

Isn't there a thing that they can't feel pain or something? They have no pain receptors? Am I making that up? I don't know. I heard that there's like, the like myth is that like you can hear them scream when you put them in the water. I'll tell you this right now. I mean, lobster is like good, but I like I'm cool with not. I'm not cool with like, like murdering it myself. Yeah, like, yeah, I don't want to hear a thing scream. Definitely not. Imagine the scream is like, yo!

What the hell, dude? Chill! Like a lobster just bugging out like that? Yeah. Have you ever cooked- A crab, though. I don't care what it's saying to me. Because it tastes so good. Like like you've cooked live crab No, I've never cooked it. I've cooked live crab. You've cooked it. Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it?

Myles caught them and brought them home and you had it snappy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah We put it in a bucket with ice and that's kind of gnarly. Honestly, it is they're pretty cool They're blue. Wait, you put them in a bucket with ice. Yeah, does that like freeze them and neutralize? No, they just they like to hang out a little bit and then they chill until they're deaf Yeah, oh, so it's alive and going and you just throw it into boiling freeze them and neutralize them? No, they just like to hang out a little bit and then they chill until their death. Oh, so it's alive and going and you just throw it into boiling water. Yeah, like I can look at it in the eyes.

I always forget they have eyes. Yeah, of course they have eyes. I look at it, just like that. Yeah, right. You know, and then it's gone. And just like that, it's over. Well, not before the suffering that occurs do they suffer though

Yes, you are boiling them alive That's sad. It is sad, but not king crabs though king crabs. They kill them with a knife before I mean You got to kill that thing with a fucking silver spike What were you just talking about recently like a giant king? Oh Gordon Ramsay Gordon Ramsay? What were you just talking about recently? Like a giant King, Oh, Gordon Ramsey or something. Gordon Ramsey. There's this like, this guy on,

I think he owns a restaurant or something on TikTok who does like a really good Gordon Ramsey impression. I think it's called like the, you know what? I'm not even gonna say what his name might be, but. Okay. Something, Habibi's in there somewhere. So I don't wanna offend anyone by saying something incorrect. There is a famous clip of Gordon Ramsay

If you guys haven't seen it, you should definitely look it up But he goes to someone's restaurant and then he calls them a French pig and it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life because You pig you French peg It's like the most intense thing that show is so crazy Gordon Ramsey just walking into a restaurant be like dickhead like to the main chef that and bar rescue they have to be produced

that guy too because John Taffer will walk in and he'll be like two inches from people's faces too. He'll walk in and he'll go, You fucking asshole! Like two guys- You can't run a business, you are your fat wife! And you're like, yo John, Chill the fuck out.

Okay. There's no way that, they have to be like- They have to. Listen, the cameras are rolling, I'm gonna ham it up for the cameras, but behind the scenes I'll actually help you bro crazy of him. Just being like you take another drink while you're working you scumbag There's bro insane like I kitchen nightmares. I think the show that you're referencing

I went down like a rabbit hole one day and watched just like a ton of clips from that show and he goes in and he's Just like all right. He orders first. He's like alright I'm gonna take this and then it comes out and he's like oh Like he'd never been so like come oh Hey you my you know and he gets back there and he's like Let me see your fridge this guy's on he's gotta be on coke right? Yeah. He's gotta be on something. He's This guy's on he's got to be on coke right? Yeah. Yeah, he's got to be on something. He's good something. He's oh Good catch good catch good catch. He was knocked over his teeth

But he's all over the place, and he sees it, and he's just like oh This is what you're serving people you fucking piece of shit Yeah, like he goes crazy loads up bro one time I was watching that show is it kitchen nightmare where he has like a bunch of people like who are like competing also No, that's um Hell's kitchen. Yeah, Hell's kitchen. So I was watching that I saw a clip of it and he like Someone made some shit and he's just like bring it over to the chef and he's like look at this Dickhead and throws it out right and like throws the plate out and then a woman Who's just going to the restaurant?

Gets out of her chair and like comes up to the counter And I don't know whether she was complaining about the way he was like yelling or her food or whatever This dude starts on loading on the customer you fuck yourself You fuck yourself! Cunt! Get out! And it's like... Yeah, yeah. Everyone can get it from this guy.

I've seen it where it's like there'll be like a woman who like sends it because I think The Hell's Kitchen, it's a show but also a restaurant that like you can go and technically be a part of the show. And like someone will send the food back and they'll be like, oh it's overcooked. And he'll cut it open and be like, let's see Oh, it's not It's perfect and sends it back and he goes send it back and you let them know that they're fucking useless You know, and it's just like holy shit, dude

Say with John Taffer. I want I want I really really really in college tried to get John Taffer To go to a bar in my college town. It was the biggest. Why? Because it would have been perfect. It was busted all the time for underage drinking. The people that were working there were drinking all the time, it was a shit hole.

It was like the ultimate dive bar. And like just to see him walk in and just absolutely verbally- Tear it down. Eviscally these people. It would have been so fun, dude John Taffer those he's he get you can't see people's fit like an inch from their face with this finger out And he's got like a and you know you know he has like a like a whiny like Absolutely crazy. He's like I remember watching an episode of that one time

and it was like this it was at like a divey bar and everyone who was going there was like older. And it was like off a highway. But it was a tiki themed bar. And he hated that. Why do they love it? Because they think they're in Hawaii. And it's like, you're still in fucking Iowa. You're still in fucking Middletown, New Jersey. Where do you think you're going? Yeah, and like he just hated that it was tiki themed. He's like it makes no fucking sense

You're fucking incompetent and I'm like crazy bro yelling at people like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's uh, it's, and he watches from the van He's like oh my god. I love that. They do a stakeout. He does a stakeout like hmm Where could John Taffer be tonight the big white van big white man? You know is emitting thousands of fucking you know sun rays basically from it, and he's just like look at what they're doing here He does he loves doing that and it's like like, no, they can't have this. It's always like also the most, I legit saw an episode one time where they were making,

they were making burgers on a panini maker thing that wasn't even in the bar. You had to walk outside in the back and then it was plugged in and like on a table and they would make it like that. I will say, I saw one that like actually like made me like look at bars a little differently

and it was, he went to a bar and it was like an Irish pub theme or something like that and they had Guinness on tap, but it was a bad tap. So like the guy had a Guinness on tap but it was a bad tap so like the guy had a Guinness and ended up getting sick because of it so since then I've been very apprehensive anytime I've been to a bar to like have Guinness have a Guinness from a tap if they have bottled different but like tap Guinness I'm like because apparently it's like if it's bad it's like it'll make you fucking sick well they must have been great in Scotland

because they had about a thousand. I really wish someone could pull up the old clips of you talking about you hate Guinness and now just doing a complete 180. Well, I don't, I haven't had a Guinness in the United States other than when we had one that one time. We've had them every St. Patrick's Day. No, we were young and you were like, we have to fit in. And I was like, okay. Yes, we were 18 or 19 going every St. Patrick's Day. No, we were young and you were like we have to fit in and I was

like okay. Yes we were 18 or 19 going to St. Patrick's Day but like since then we've had it several times and you hated it then too. I don't know that I've had that. Oh you made me do a fucking whatever that shit is. Irish Car Bomb we've on this episode for St. Patrick's Day I've had Guinness and you're like

really? Yeah we did a bomb. Did we do a bomb? No we just had Guinness and you're like really? Yeah. Oh, we did a Bob. Did we do a Bob? No, we just had Guinness, Joey. I'm confused. I'm confusion. Anyway. Get to the ads, you fucking dweeb. We do have ads. Watch it.

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you and yeah. Thank you, we love you, and yeah. So I don't know if you've been seeing this, Joe, but Taylor Swift has been in the news. Not because she is big time megastar. She was at the Chiefs games. She was at the Chiefs games? Was she at both of them? I believe so. I only saw her at the one

Was she the one against? Is it's an ad I don't know I wasn't I wasn't there. Yeah, well but She has been getting In the news for a lot of strange reasons, I guess well one she kind of laid claim to supporting Kamala Harris for her presidential bid And then as a result, I think we can call off the election then if she's gonna do that Oh, you think it's it's like it's done I mean, she's like the most famous person in the room. She's like, here's what I'm doing

I have a feeling though to be fair. Most of her fan base cannot vote. That is fair You know, I don't think that they're currently of voting age. Right. But as a result, she like penned this letter, you know, showing support for Kamala Harris and VP, you know, nominee, Tim Walls. And she signed it like childless cat mom

or something like that. Did you see what Elon Musk responded to that? Why did she sign it like that? I think just being like funny, like. Oh, like, okay. Just like, you know me, no kids, but I'm a cat mom. Is she a cat mom? Apparently her cats are as famous as she is, dude.

Oh, that makes sense, but. She has like famous cats. She's got famous cats. Big old famous cats, look up her cats. Does she have, oh, she better not have famous cats. Be very' famous cats. Look up her cats. Does she have, oh she better not have famous cats. Be very careful with what you Google right now. Taylor Swift pussycat. Taylor Swift cats.

Taylor Swift cats. But like, I think in like Deadpool 2, Ryan Reynolds, or Deadpool wore a t-shirt with her cats on it. Ryan Reynolds, or Deadpool wore a t-shirt with her cats on it. Ryan Reynolds, or Deadpool wore a t-shirt with her cats on it. What the hell? He wore a t-shirt with her cats on it. Oh, Meredith, Olivia, and Benjamin.

Cats. Yeah, those are cats. You know how I feel though about pets with real human names though. Yeah, you don't like mine. Don't like them because- Meredith is a crazy name for a cat. Do something more fun, like scratchy.

Scratchy. Bojanglesles it's not 1998 whiskey whiskey that's actually not a bad name yeah you know a brown cat yeah that has whiskers this is a little whiskey yeah I like that you know but uh Elon Musk responded to her. Did you see this? No He quoted it and he goes fine Taylor I'll give you a child What? Elon Musk said that Yeah, dude, that's a wild thing to say

Yeah, yeah anyone that is just doing anything but like Yeah, yeah Anyone that is just doing anything but like Yeah, dude. Also, can we just say this and like I'm not trying to you know, whatever But Elon Musk looks like he's been inside of water for like a year You know what? He looks like you remember the first X-Men movie when they put This is gonna take a while the first X-Men movie where they put the, I think he's the governor or the mayor or the senator or whatever he is in like the machine that turns him into a mutant.

And then he turns into like a jellyfish blob water guy. I do not know what that is, but he reminds me of- No one's gonna get that. Obviously not, Frank. Thanks a lot. No one's gonna get that. You and I. I'll show ya. No, but I think he, when I see him sometimes,

remember when those photos came out of Elon Musk and he was like on the back of like- Of a yacht. Of a yacht or whatever, and I was like, that looks like my feet when I'm in water. Do you remember those toys that we got when we were kids and they were like, they came in like little pills and you put Them in water overnight and then you wake up the next morning and they turn into like a big foam

like action figure You're incapable No, not a's what he looks like. He looks like a Chia Pet. No, not a Chia Pet. He looks like if you were to watch a movie and you were to find a body floating in the water. You're getting better now. He looks like a John Doe is what you're saying. He looks like... Stop now. It looks like a John Doe is what you're saying. He looks like stop, okay now

By the way Chia pets. Yes doesn't have anything to do with chia seeds. Yeah, that's what you put on it chia seeds Oh, yeah, wait So the hair is chia sprouting really chia seed sprouting. Yeah, we had one at our house. We got what was it? I think it was Groot. Oh, that's cool Yeah, and it it's like a it's like a red clay Face or head or bus or whatever and then you mix chia seeds with water like overnight, you know How it like gelatinizes? Yeah. Yeah, and then you just spread it and then you spray it with water every day and it becomes Hair hair. I remember back in the day. Oh Where'd you go? I was gonna say I remember the one on TV. I remember back in the day, oh. Where'd you go?

I was going to say, I remember the one on TV, I think it was Bill Cosby. And I was just going to say it, I wasn't realizing what I was saying. Yeah, you probably shouldn't. But I wonder what he's up to. Um, I'll give you a couple guesses. It rhymes with schmrizen. Yeah, well no. Oh, he was let out? I think so. Well. Didn't he like get out of prison, it was like immediately like, I'm going you a couple guesses. It rhymes with schmrizen. Yeah, well no. Oh, he was let out?

I think so. Well, didn't he like get out of prison and was like immediately like, I'm going on a comedy tour, but I think that was fake. Um, I don't know, honestly. I've kind of kept my nose out of anything to do with him. You know?

Who, Bill? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but yes, Chia Seeds, Ch seeds chia pet remember those commercials when we were younger Chachachacha, yeah. Oh shut up. I don't want a fucking chia pet of Bill Clinton. I've never had I've never had a chia pet. Yeah, we had that but like it was just like a new fad Yeah, people had and stuff like that, but Elon Musk. Yeah, honestly saying like, yo, Taylor Swift, I'll rail you, brah.

That's kind of wild. What an insane thing to say to just be like, fine, I'll give you a kid. Like, any way you look at that. Yo, she has to clap back at that point. I mean, I would hope that her clap back is, you know, in a legal sense, you know, just being like. Or if I'm Travis Kelsey bro

oh bro Travis Kelsey I'm not gonna first of all new heights good show congratulations on the big deal you haven't had us on yet so I'm a little pissed off about same you got a fight Elon Musk now right that'd be cool he was gonna fight Mark Zuckerberg who oh yeah remember that Mark Zuckerberg beat the brakes off of Elon Musk. I don't know. I mean he has taken like Krav Maga and like BJJ, you know? Yeah. BJJ. Yeah, that's what it's called.

No one calls it that. It's Jiu Jitsu. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu though. BJJ. You said it like it's a bank. Okay, Well, uh You just gotta be like yo On some real shit like Travis Kelsey, we're not gonna tell you how to do things But we certainly are gonna tell you I mean he definitely got a call from someone being like, yo Cuz like Taylor Swift's probably like she got a whole fucking company. That's like, you know, no one say anything to this guy

Okay, it'd be hard for me to not be like bro. No one's fucking your ugly ass to this guy. Okay. It'd be hard for me to not be like, bro, no one's fucking your ugly ass. Not even just that, but like your fame and your notoriety is built off of your athletic prowess. Jason Kel- Travis Kelsey. Jason Kelsey, you get in there too. You know, the Kelseys versus Elon Musk and you, he could bring someone he wants. Who? I don't know. And Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, I'll take that. I'll take that tag team match any day. Yeah, dude, but Travis Kelsey Just be like yo Elon Musk I'm rich because I'm a good athlete fight me for talking about my lady that way right? Yeah, just fight him, dude

Yeah, what's gonna happen? He wanted to fight Mark Zuckerberg in the Coliseum You could fight him dude. Can you imagine if that happened? Mark Zuckerberg in the Coliseum? You could fight him? Dude, can you imagine if that happened? Elon Musk fought Mark Zuckerberg in the Coliseum? That would be like the end of times. Like as soon as the bell rang, the ground would open up and then fucking Satan

will come back and be like, you guys did this, not me. That's when the aliens like intervene. They're like, all right, we were like joking like you do Yeah, the simulation will literally pause and whoever is running the simulation be like, all right, we're for lacks Yeah, don't do this. It would be it would be the lizard overlords would come out and be like, all right We getting carried away here folks would be cool if we did have lizard overlords, wouldn't it? Can you imagine walking around? It's like like imagine you become president right and then people just let their hair down in the White House because you now you can

know the secrets and they transform into lizards I'd be like this is fire would it be no we put it like this Joey, yeah, you and I have openly discussed how we have had minor like minor existential crises and like bouts of like imposter syndrome because we're doing two shows of Radio City Imagine becoming president of the United States and then finding out that the people around you are in fact lizard people United States and then finding out that the people around you are in fact lizard people Also, there's no way I could keep that secret bro. I'm whistle-blowing the shit out of that I mean on my deathbed. I bet yo they are lizards Yeah, and then people would be like, oh he was old and senile you never win. It's true never win Joey Yeah, they they you wouldn't be able to get anything across

Nah, I'd put it in like a time capsule Also not gonna help Joey. What do you mean? What do you think those up? Yeah, and there's be like, oh, this is probably just nonsense No, I'd be like bro on this date. I just like I'm healthy and I they're all nuts. I don't know Yeah, people are really gonna think that that's true We saw the White House wasn't as big as I thought it was gonna be, but there's probably a lot of underground tunnels. That'd be cool. I'll be honest.

The streets that we were walking on felt like they were on a stage. Does that make any sense to you? What does that mean? Like it felt like we weren't walking on the ground. It felt like we were walking on a stage when we were walking around the White House. I felt like we were walking on the street.

No, I felt like I was like, I was like on a stage or something. Why? It just felt that way. Like physically? Physically, yeah. The floor felt like a stage. I cannot explain it other than how I'm explaining it. It felt like I was walking on an elevated surface, not the ground.

Weird. It was just straight. Oh, do you mean like, it feels like it's hollow underneath? Yeah. on an elevated surface, not the ground. Weird. It was just straight. Oh, do you mean like, see it feels like it's hollow underneath? Yeah, like there's stuff underneath it, which there definitely is. Yeah, there's gotta be like tunnels

and like a fucking, what's it called? Tunnels. What's it called? Bunkers. Bunkers. Bunkers. Bunkers. What makes a, what's the difference between a bunker and a tunnel? A tunnel leads to a bunker,

a bunker you can hang out in. Bunkers in the back of a tunnel. Do you ever hear about the Denver Airport conspiracy? Yes, I've heard about this that it's a basically just like a weirdo. We were at the airport in Denver Wait, did I ever tell you about the Philadelphia experiment? No, you're gonna freak me out with all this shit Joey. I don't want to fucking hear about this My dad, bro, my dad called me one day. I don't even know how we got here, but he started talking about this Uh the philadelphia experiment which is an alleged incident that took place in 1943 at the philadelphia naval shipyard The story claims that the u.s. Navy made the uss eldridge

destroyer Escort that's all one word. It's a ship. I was gonna say you're saying things that I don't understand So the claim is that the US Navy made this destroyer ship invisible and teleported it from Philadelphia to Virginia Okay, the reason why people have this like claim or whatever it is like apparently My this is my dad now

talking so it's completely baseless they made a movie out of it apparently which doesn't help but like my dad was showing me they also made a movie out of battleship Joey but you don't see any of that being fucking legitimate that my dad thinks it was like this ray you know when people start talking about rays and shit yeah, yeah. So he thinks it's this like ray that like, whatever. And the crew that was on board, he's like, when the ship came back, they were like stuck in the walls.

And he showed me a picture, and it was of like people's heads in a wall or something. Joey, what picture did your picture your dad show you I don't know he was sending me links and shit It was like conspiracy websites. It was fire. Don't start going down conspiracy fucking Website you know I just I think it's fun Yeah, I can't look at that stuff because I'll get too into it I'll tell you the honestly the only time I've ever really been like looked into a conspiracy See, this is what they're saying Invisible for a period of time

It was also reported that the ship was physically teleported to Virginia before it returned to Philadelphia Many members of the crew became ill and died shortly after the crew also reported strange happenings during the experiment itself Some became embedded in the ship itself and others were able to walk through walls. If the experiment had indeed happened as it claimed, then the US military had access to teleportation technology as early as the 1940s. Get the fuck out of here, dude. I'm sorry. I'm also, get the fuck out of here.

I can't, I can't, I can't give any belief to any of those conspiracies because then I'm fully in and I'll never see straight ever again. You've never like been like dive deep into a conspiracy and be like, yo, I'm nuts now. Bro, in like 2004, a kid in my class showed me loose change. About 9-11? Yeah, and I was like, wait a sec. And then I had to fucking pull myself back out to reality

because I couldn't, I couldn't fucking do it well that one I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not touching that buildings. Don't fall like that I saw I forgot who it was how fucked there was a comedian that I follow and he put up a video and he had A t-shirt that just says buildings don't fall like that He was talking about the other building not not the towers, the other one. Oh, like tower seven or something like that?

Bro, not gonna go down a whole thing. There is no reason that thing went down though. Like there's literally no reason. How could it possibly? Joey, I'm not doing this. Come on, bro. I'm not doing it. I'm just saying, take a peek.

I did, and that's why I had to pull myself fucking out of it. Do you remember the whole thing about the clouds? It's like, yo, there's face shapes in the clouds. Yeah, and it was like, there's the devil. It was like, the devil's in the cloud. My dad was showing me those photos back in the day too. He's like, oh, it looks like this.

I was like, it's clouds, my guy. I've seen dragons in the sky. What does that mean? The only other time, and it's not even conspiracy, but like the first time even conspiracy, but like The first time I remember, because like now you watch any of these Marvel movies It's like oh my god this hidden Easter egg behind, you know, and like people It's like a whole industry that people will stop movie trailers and like be like look on that There's a sign on the back. That's a sign for fucking this this comic book and blah blah blah the first time

I remember getting into that was for that movie Cloverfield. I remember that, there was a lot of clues and that was your life. Dude, I was following blogs and websites and you know, 1808.com and Cloverfield, hype blog spot and shit like that, where they did all that shit and they were just like, look, in the dust you could see the face of a devil

and then you could hear them saying like like it's a lion. It's huge So I had I had to because I was so fucking invested. I had to pull myself out on though you never watch like a like a Crime show or whatever and you're like it might be fun being a detective like figuring it out piecing it together Oh, yeah, well, yeah, of course that is cool. So like sick I I've stopped being able to watch true crime. Like doing like interviews and just like whatever and then like getting the information and like piecing it

together like what's better than that? I can name four things off the top of my head right now that's better than that. Name them. Sausage pepper sandwich. definitely holiday themed candy certain ones fruity pebbles yeah getting a giant fucking booger out of your nose and like being able to breathe again such a random for things that like happened to you recently? Yes. Nice. We do have our last sponsor for today. That was PrizePix, okay? PrizePix for you people out there that like fantasy sports. You can do so with PrizePix.

This is a lot of fun. It's very easy to understand, okay? You don't have to do a whole draft or anything like that. It's just you're picking against these projections more or less, okay? So so for instance Caleb Williams passing yards you know they'll say will he throw more or less than 180 okay and if history repeats itself it's gonna be less so that's probably where I would put my money but yeah so you pick a couple of those and yeah, it's just more or less

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of my friends play it. They love it. But you can download the prize picks app today and use the code basement and you will get $50 instantly when you play $5. That is code basement on prize picks to get $50 instantly when you play just $5, okay? You don't even have to win, you just play the $5 and you will get that 50 in your account, okay? So yeah, enjoy, prize picks, run your game, boom. And before we get out of here, obviously, I think that we have to talk just very briefly

about Shannon Sharp getting caught clapping cheeks on Instagram Live. For those of you guys that have not seen, Shannon Sharp, NFL Hall of Famer, former tight end for the- Denver Broncos and- Minnesota Vikings. Baltimore Ravens?

Yes. Yes. He was on the Vikings? I don't think so but Everyone knows him as unc. Yep, you know has a podcast. It does well, you know guys all over the place having a great post NFL career also hysterical, yeah Accidentally went live on Instagram the other day while he was while he was walking while he was just Dog in something you know someone I should say yeah someone named Michelle was that her name Well, he did say that's my Michelle. That's that's my Michelle. Yeah, he said oh like like she's like his Michelle. Oh I I didn't watch the full video. Did you I didn't but I that part like that

Because people were talking about it because I think Ocho Sinka was like who's Michelle? Yeah Yeah, I saw this is so random, but do you know the the wrestler are truth Yeah, he was on there. Just going off during the whole life like yo, what are you doing? But yuck, this is PG man. He also claims they did it accidentally bro How do you accidentally go on Instagram live while you're fucking uh? Yeah, that I mean so the big thing that's come out of it is people are just like was it accidental Yeah, come on because apparently there was a lot of rumors that he was gay. Oh, so you think that he's like Yeah, I don't think this other people are saying that like,

it could have been done as like a publicity stunt to be like, see, I'm not. All I'm gonna say is it looked, it sounded like they're having a good time, man. Yeah, I mean, he definitely was, he was, you know, Ocho's like growling and shit. Yeah, Ocho's single was just like, you need to work on your cardio.

You were huffing and puffing. Yeah. You said that's my Michelle. It's kind of crazy. I, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't like to think conspiracy wise. I think it was probably a mistake because wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait wait wait something to do you ever go live on Instagram couple times But not enough to be able to confirm the process okay, but but like you have to like press a couple buttons Like it's not one, but it's like a sequence of buttons. Oh look. I'll do it right now I'm not gonna go live, but like if first you have to get to the Instagram app Then you have to scroll over here, then you have to scroll over to live and then hit that button.

And then it just starts or do you have to then confirm it? Mmm, I don't know. Do it. No. Do it right now? I'm not gonna go live right now. But yeah, so. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt.

I mean like, it's like- Scary bro. Could you, I had- Oh my god, Can you imagine? I mean what are people gonna hear if you're having sex like oh That's a joke about you crying yeah, I guess I get it Frank I get it That would be how if you having sex they'd hear fucking Fucking swords and shit probably You pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew Shit that you're saying you're growling you're just like you're saying like he was growling you're you've growled

But I've never done that I've done a I've never I don't become a tiger I don't know what you're doing there, but like the things you say like it's just you know it's not actually It's not earth. You're right earth is happening land listen. I'm a different person everyone that has had sex could Attest to this you fucking virgin shut the fucking episode off virgins this ain't for you get out scrolling Dweeb Like there's like

Reality yeah, and then there's like wherever you go when you're in like Yeah, and then there's like wherever you go when you're in like Sexual land yeah, and that's where like you growl. Yeah, you ask questions that you normally wouldn't ask Yeah, like do you like big daddy's foot like? Like I wouldn't say I wouldn't say that that you came up with that very quickly I was trying to think of just like a strange thing. Be honest with me. I've never said do you like Big Daddy's foot. Okay, second question. Okay, go.

Have you ever referred to yourself as Big Daddy? I don't know. Moving forward. Hahaha! No, I don't think so. But, yeah. I mean like those types of things that happen there, like bro can you imagine the world like so- it's like, like so it's like that's insane. It is it is that you've seen parts of me I'll say this he handled it very well

I do wonder what the perk is like who the woman was I imagine if it's his Michelle You can narrow it down to figuring out a couple of Michelle Michelle's in his life only so many Michelle Oh, he's so many Michelle. Yeah, so like That's an invasion of privacy for her too. You know so like you got to feel bad for her, dude that reminds me of I Don't know if anyone's ever done this to you, but it was like a thing that went around It's like yo send this to your friends. Yeah But it's a DM right I forgot who sent it to me I Think it was like Julian or something and it was like yo, bro. I forgot who sent it to me.

I think it was like Julian or something. And it was like, yo bro, did you mean to post that in your story? Or it'll say something like, did you just post, you posted your dick on your, or something like that. And then it's like one of those messages that are like long. And then you scroll down, it's like,

ha ha, got you, send this to, and I was like, I don't like this. No, that never happened to me. I don't think anyone has done that to me. And now you're inviting it to be done to us. So, you're fucking, your messages are just gonna be inundated with people saying shit like that. I feel like that's a difficult thing to do anyway.

I mean, still terrifying. Like, you know, that would be very scary. Not that I just have pictures of my wiener on my phone. I don't have any yeah But that could be anxiety inducing. Yeah, you know, did you mean to post that or maybe it was a tik-tok video where I saw like People on there's this one girl who was like facetiming all of her friends and saying like oh my god Did you mean to post that and everyone to like what? That's a good one. Yeah, that's better than the DM I think I always think it's funny when people will like call someone and she'll be like, what? And they grab their phone. Oh shit, really? Really, yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, that's better than the DM. I always think it's funny when people will call someone

and they'll just be like, yo, yo, yo, I'm gonna call you right back. And they're like, what the fuck? I feel like my dad has done that to me for real. I do that to DeVino every time him and I talk. He'll call me and I'll pick up and I'll be like, what? Or I'll call him and he'll be like what I'll be like alright I can't talk right now, and he's like alright, and then we hang up, and we don't speak for three weeks

Becca any to like Becca whenever she'll know what I'm talking to DeVino on the phone because she's like you guys don't without Exaggeration we will just stare at each other for five minutes and not say a word and she's like just hang up What's the point of even talking to someone yeah Davino does stuff like that with me too or he'll like we both call each other Joe I think like he calls me Joe and I call him Joe and then he said something to me recently I think he did exactly that where he texted me Joe and I said Joe and then he's like I can't talk right now I'll text you back and then he didn't talk to me for like a month. I didn't talk to him for like a month I think recently he called me and I answered I was like yo you just woke up the baby and

He's like no stop, and I'm like yo seriously like she's crying like no now I have to like she was like I couldn't get her down for now and he feels so bad because the thing about Davino that you guys don't know is that like It's so easy to fuck with him because you could just be like yo like if you do something like that It'll bother him for a week and a half. Yes, even if you tell him you're joking He's just like no seriously though. Did I actually wake up the baby? It's like no you didn't he's like You'd tell me if I woke up the baby right? You know he's like are now. I'm overthinking this

I don't want to talk any I think maybe that's what he said to me he's like texted me he's like forget it I'm overthinking things and I was like it's so easy to get under his skin I've seen like on Xbox I've been on with Xbox and like Josh who's editing this will like we'll be in a group chat with or like a party talking and he'll be like Divina be like yeah you know like me and Andrea are going out to dinner and Divi and Josh was go you fucking deadbeat You want to be everywhere except home. Yeah, it's your baby and do you know just be like oh god It's a good time. It's a good time little jokes, and that's that's kind of like me and you

We had a thing where we would call each other on the phone And it would be like a pitch for like you know like something like flavored toilet paper or something and it would go on for like eight minutes and then we'd hang up or like the last like ten minutes would be like alright I'm gonna be at the park like ten minutes I'll see you there alright bye I've done that like a couple times we're like I know like if I remember being at home when I lived at home and you called me one time and my mom my sister and like were around. So I like picked up the phone, I immediately put on speakerphone and I was like, hello?

And then you said, oh no, I picked up and I said like, oh, Johnny and Billy's auto shop. And then you were obviously- I'm on it, it's a snowball down a hill. Like you can't stop it. Obviously Frank is in the market for a car. He had something fixed with his car. And then that goes on until someone laps.

And it's not even like there's something funny about it It's just an actual such an actual mundane Conversation that that's what makes it funny is like I'm actually like looking for like real advice on a car And you'll like have an answer. It's not like there's nothing funny or ha ha or witty. It's just like real I remember one time I called you and I was like You picked up you're like hello. I was like hi is this target and you're like, yep I was like trying to buy a tent from you or something Yeah

the bone that I used to do a lot and you used to call me out for it is I would call you and I'd be like waiting for the train or waiting for the bus and like middle school and high school and I'd be like you'd be like talking we'd be having a serious conversation I'd be like wait you fucking had sex with him and you'd be like there's a bunch of people around you is yeah I'd be like yes, and I'd be like how could you and people would be looking at me like what the fuck is going on? Frankie was the only person that would like create Like would be

Surrounded by people on a busy street and then like bring attention to themselves by screaming on the phone with me like not having an actual And he'd be like dude come on. I'm like Frank stop. Yeah, please stop, but I know you're fucking him aren't you you're fucking him I'm like Frank We were pranksters before YouTube and now after tube poop But yeah, I guess that's all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? You can find me on Twitter. FAlvarez8085

What's going on over there? Let's go find me. Whenever I say that to you, I always think of the Acon. Every time! You can find me on the block disobeying the law. Every single time I have to stop myself from saying that because it's like it's not yeah, we can't do it that many times Yeah, yeah, that's alvarez 8085 on twitter the frank alvarez and all the forms of social media Go check out patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard, uh sign up today do all that stuff. It's really cool

Thanks for helping us break records. We love you guys You know basement here everywhere You guys can follow me at joe santiagato go follow the show at the basement yard on tik-tok and Instagram Thank you for your continued support on patreon. We appreciate it I really do we do and yeah We have our last couple of shows coming up here And if you guys have are coming out to those or if you have come out to the ones previously, thank you so much It's already just been like a fucking crazy experience

Yeah, thank you, and we'll see you next time.