The Basement Yard - Should Children Have iPhones?

Episode Date: January 17, 2017

On this episode, I have my buddies @M.Gonzo28 & @Its_Delgado on to talk about if we think giving our future children technology is a good idea or not. We also talk about other stuff.. idk.. just listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It is Friday. You just burped already. Forget it. This is off to a hot start What's today Friday Saturday Saturday, I'm dumb. I'm no Saturday January 14th. I'm doing this early and with two of my friends one is a returning guest Do you know him as the kid with the second asshole? Mr. Marco? What's up fellas? and new guests my friend Eric is here also and And yeah, it's cool. Just stay silent. It's totally fine. Just no one will hear your voice though I was waiting for you to

Oh, sorry standing at six four six four six three six four He's up there all the girls just went oh my fucking god 220 of pure muscle Debatable I'm like five nine, you know on a good day on a good day on a bad day five eight five and a half Yeah, there you go But yeah, I had them on this podcast because we had a conversation once in a group chat about wow my voice is cracked We are off to a hot start here About kids and technology and stuff and it turned into this. I was actually when we had that conversation I love having conversations like that that are like somewhat intellectual and have meaning behind them because we usually just talk

About dicks and shit, but when I was when we were having that conversation. I was on the way Yeah, that sounds like completely weird, but I was on the way to target and when I got there I walked it. Yeah, shout out to Frankie I walked in and then the the conversation was so good that I walked in I was there for ten minutes I forgot what I needed and just left one home That was it. That's for target. I know I don't know why I did that. I just walked in and which target There's a target by a college point. Oh, okay That relevant

But yeah, basically, I feel like it's damaging To for children I would let's I mean I think in the group chat we were talking about age 10 I was using 10 as like a reference that I think it's bad for them to have like phones and computers What grade is 10 work? I don't know great Fourth Third you graduate. You're in eighth grade at 13. So like like fifth fourth. Okay. Yeah, okay like a fifth grader Yeah, I I don't like I just think it's bad for them to have

access to I Feel like it's too much power for a fifth grade you can literally like I said the example I gave like you can look Yeah, dude think about how much power you have if you have a Twitter account You could say whatever the one at any times at anyone in the world Yeah, but you're 10 years old who's gonna listen to you. It doesn't matter another 10 year old I think the point he's making is like bullying like you bully someone so easily you could do that You could look up porn you could like Right porn at fifth grade that's

That exists, but yeah, but You could stop you never stumble upon a rape porn Of course you have You click on it. You think it's a nice time. No, son. He pulls out rope. You're like, I did not sign up for this shit What is this like? Are you talking about just like computers or phones or I just think that there's no there's no real Technology no, no not all technology and I'm not saying put them in a box. Make a mom ish and churn butter I'm saying they shouldn't have their own personal

Phone or laptop that they could just access at any point that they want I mean, I just think that you're setting them behind like a learning curve like that Like people are gonna have phones people other people are gonna have phones other kids are gonna have like Technology that they have access to and just naturally they're gonna be better at technology like they're just gonna have Certain next I mean, but like what I mean, it's not it's not like a life It's just like the technology itself. Yeah, just like my like 10 year old cousin in like fifth grade they like do work on like iPads and schooling shit Like they figure like I don't know

Like it's just easier to learn and do things with technology because you haven't it like instead of a pen and paper All you have is a pen and paper like with a technology. You could do anything you could like like find out anything in the world You know, there was a little girl who used to come to Albus She was she was probably like three years old And she used to come with her parents all the time and they used to give her an iPad and she would fucking do math problems And like all this shit on her iPad and it was the most impressive shit I've ever seen I mean to me it's just like I Don't know it doesn't that like set

you up for Being the most entitled person in the world like everything is automatically you can get it no matter what when you're a child You don't know what you want or what you need. That's where like the future is trending though Like in like 30 a bunch of entitled assholes. No, no, like well, yeah, but like the technology too Like we're gonna have we're literally probably gonna have like Fucking phones built into our arms I Yeah, there's gonna be technology everywhere you need to know how to use it and you need to know how to use it

Well, like sure I have but in at 10 years old. I don't think that I mean, of course you have classes like I knew how to I didn't have a computer Growing up, but you know what I mean like we or if I had one like when I got to maybe Fifth or sixth grade we got a computer on a house But I never use it because I didn't want to because I mean at that point no one fucking You know if anyone spent more than an hour on their computer back then you're like So it's like, you know, there's none of that but then like when you get to eighth grade or Or a little before like seventh grade seventh eighth grade

That was when aim was popping and you want to always instant message people Right, but I also think that communicating through text all the time shitty is shitty because you miss out on a lot Of course it is all the time you want to communicate with people through tech Especially if you're a child you miss out on all those I don't like just basic human things like how to have a conversation Social skills like people don't know how to conversations like kids They just stare at their phones my little cousins at Christmas and shit. They have a Nintendo

Whatever the thing is called the DS. They have some other thing plugged into to I was like I don't even know what any of this stuff is they don't look up the entire time I know exactly what the top of their heads look like that's it. I don't know what their faces look like They're dope heads. Yeah, but you know, I mean, that's all I mattered right Yeah, I just think that like it's bad especially stuff like that because I remember seeing on the internet like a picture of a It was like a Child seat thing, you know when you put like babies in those things and there's just like toys in front of them But they can like smack like you know what I'm saying like they can really no clue

All right, so it's like you sit in this thing and it's kind of secure Those like they have the carriages the carriages and the cribs and then you yeah It's kind of like just whatever it's like nice to look at whatever But in this one it just had like this wire and then a fucking thing for an iPad that a child can sit in it Yeah, and just stare three inches from the screen but like When the child is playing with the iPad most times it's like helping them learn Yeah, cuz like they do even if it's like games and shit like those games are educational and like they help them like

Develop analytical skill. Yeah develop different skills that you can't get from smacking a stuffed animal like Like I would rather do that like your mind is stimulated at least you know Yeah, and I'm not like and at the same time. I don't want to like I said I don't want to make it seem like I want to turn my kids Amish. I'm still adamant about Not giving my kids their personal Technology items whatever you want to call them until they reach a certain age Which I don't know what that is that's still up in the air, but I don't think I don't know

That's something that has to be adjusted to Soon what is soon like I don't know like five years five six five five to seven years five seven years. Yeah, I Guess but then you have to wait. I'm just really excited for your wedding. I'm just like no my god It's set in stone like I'm getting married Mark was the first one to get married out of hundred three of us in here And me and Joe we've been in long-term relationship I think yeah, you mark and he's not gonna we're not gonna know she is just like by the way I'm getting married next month. You guys coming. We're like what it might be an impulse thing You're right. I could see that happening

Yeah, like when you go to a deli and like you want to buy something you get to the county like a fucking a piece of gum That's how you're getting married like I fucking let's do this Guys we're going to Vegas that impulsive imagine you never know Five years things could change. Yeah, what the fuck are we talking about? I don't know. I don't know where we were and then we just I've been really excited for like Weddings are mad now. They are wings. So like I just we can go back to the kids stuff. That's cool, right I will say we need something to help our eyes because my eyes are shit now since I work on a computer a lot and doing school Work and shit like that like my eyes have gone progressively work

Yeah, but you can't do the leasing surgery if your eyes just keep getting worse They have to be like a certain whatever it reminds like minus three point seven five right now They have to stay that way for a year before you can even consider the surgery really So my eyes get worse and worse every year mine actually just stopped getting worse Mine is at three and three twenty five. I think I haven't got my eyes checked in years But like my vision is fucking perfect like everything. It's so like weird to me Like I came and imagine like vision not having to I yeah, I wear contacts. Yeah, me too. Oh, you guys do Yeah, bro, I wouldn't be able to see you right now. Yeah, I know I mean, yeah, it would be blurry in here. I

Could like read the covers of all these magazines in here, man I don't think I could read all them even that's how bad my eyes have gotten even worse I have to go back a couple months to check them. Can't see get that surgery can't talk to people This is what we're doing our kids. No technology rose. See your vision You really think that like so what age would you get your kid a phone? Mmm, like eight to ten to twelve So I say eight. I mean eight like eight to ten

It depends. I don't know like a phone that he can like Carry around all the time or like a phone that he can use at home No, why what what does that mean like an iPad that he comes home from school and he can play with that's not a phone a Phone when he's like little okay. Okay. Yes Okay, let's just talk about a phone or like something like an iPad or a tablet or whatever The like an iPad or tablet like earlier like I would get them one like let them play around with it when they're young Like four or five. I think a phone early to the like doesn't that teach independence a little bit?

Like you're allowing your kid to go to school and come home from school They have contact with you feel safer with them having a phone like not at fucking five years old But like eight years old you feel a little bit more more Confident, right? Well, they have a phone to call 911 or call you or home gets robbed I mean, I don't know how far you're letting your kid travel at eight years old. I don't really know like I'm not a parent I don't really that's still like trying to think it's that's still pick up Age where you go pick them up, but like if something happens or like like they got I don't know

The school bus got into an accident. I I understand that that part of it and I I just think that I don't know I think It's a lot of freedom to give someone who doesn't understand the power of what they have in their hands Like when you're a child you don't understand and I don't think we even understand because it's still like I would say it's new To us because this is new technology Technically, you know, it's not like it's been around for a hundred years and whatever. It's still very new every year They come out with something like the fuck. I didn't even know it was possible. So and then I was also I also brought this up to one of my neighbors who has a kid who's I believe he's 12 years old

Yeah, and he just got a phone and he I asked him I before I even like whatever I said Let me ask you a question. I've been talking to my friends on my group chat about this I'm like does Kyle have a phone and He was like we just got him a phone. I was kind of holding out of whatever He's like just because of the stories that I've heard like a lot of kids in school with snapchat even right So we talked about snapchat. We joke around like oh titties all day That's what those kids use it for also. And then what happens people screenshot it and they send it around school and All right. All right. So now you feel like I feel like that doesn't really happen that much though. Yes, it does

Yeah, I think that probably does happen. So you like six graders are out there taking dick pics and titty pics and just sending them around the school Bro, if I had snapchat in seventh grade good night Marko you really like you know how bad that just sounded well like knowing you in sixth grade. I knew you in sixth grade Marko took a girl home to his home. His grandmother's house Nobody was home in sixth grade. There you go See, you don't even know what you're doing at that age You know what I mean? I think it's just a lot of power And you think and you see something like Instagram too like just to get on the whole like a different issue now

You have girls and they go on Instagram the girls who are always on the discover page or whatever look a certain way Yeah, yeah, but I'm gonna be like an amazing father and my girl is not gonna have any like issues with that She's gonna be cool, you know Yeah, we bet No, but even if you are the best parent in the world and they have that's not only what they see they think that Especially at a young age like that because they're not old enough to even Sort those out they're like, I don't need to be like that I don't need to look like that but whatever so they start to feel a certain way about themselves and I think they're

Preston less of course it's gonna happen But if you can maybe prevent it a little more like my whole thing was I would say I would give my kids technology and moderation like there Would be things in the house that you could use the spell if you need it for anything school related or Educational whenever you want it you have it, but as far as just free reign like here Like you can wake up at 1 a.m. And jerk off to whatever the hell you want and I was super excited when I got a computer in my room Oh my god, forget about much more. Oh my god, dude. I was jerking off in the living room The we had at one computer in our house. It was in the living room. Then stop me. I Was just wait till I was asleep everyone left. Yeah, I was like I'm doing homework. Yeah, I'm on aim. No, I'm not

I almost got caught a few times straight up downloading porn off a line wire Off a line wire, right? I didn't know sights back there. I was afraid of sights because okay Here's the deal right line wire. You remember that it was just like a service where you get download shit music And you just get viruses like every three times But I was afraid of porn sites because they that was back when the pop-ups were like the shit We just really not only many pop-ups nowadays. Yeah, like the ones you go to see these kids are so spoiled man They don't even know Yeah, but not like there was like you click on a porn site no matter what it was like randomly and at times

Can't have this because if I'm like pretend if I click away They can still get a pop-up of a girl getting nailed and my mom's gonna be like, okay, what the fuck is this? I've never got caught you ever got caught jerking off. I think my brother might have worked in on me once or twice But not by my parents. It's been close What about you not that I'm aware of I don't think so Yeah, I Haven't I feel like though you ever like jerk off and then like you walk out into the house or whatever afterwards and You feel like everyone knows I'm like

They're looking at me they know The porn volume is always too loud too. I never put on headphones dude. No, that's yeah, are you kidding me? That's why I've almost gotten caught. Yeah, that's why you gotta be able to hear footsteps and shit You don't put on headphones. No, I always use I always use headphones. No, I can't you can't hear then What do you mean you can't hear all I hear is a girl getting nailed if I if someone comes into my room I'm not gonna hear them close the door dude. Yeah, I know but you I used to share a room too Yeah, and then like you're like won't your room is right next. Yeah, you still use volume even when you didn't use headphones Yeah, but I would put it very low

I would never put it more than one bar risky because like what if there's like an intense thrust and the girl just yells You know what I'm saying? It's still low. Yeah, I mean, it's it's low right then. I would just start coughing Popcorn But that's what I used to do I Feel like porn is good for kids though like okay, hold on This is the dumbest thing you ever get ahead keep going not like not like young like 14 15 Like you're starting to learn and like you need to like I think I don't know I mean, I'm on this whole no-fap now as if you listen to the last podcast

You know my my thing right now. We're just talking before we started that my new thing now is addiction It's always addicted to addiction Yeah, I have two addiction. I don't have I don't have a porn addiction, but I I think I Don't know if it is an addiction of what I had or have But it's easy for me to shake it I haven't really had an urge to Jerk off since I was like really just say I'm gonna stop But it's because it's not hard for me to do that

It was just kind of like I needed a reason to be like, oh, I'm not gonna do it I was just it's most of the time I did it. I was just like I fucking don't like board Something but I was never like jerking off like a hat. Oh my god. I got a jerk off Yeah, pretty sure jerking off is healthy though. Like as long as you're not like every once in a while Yeah, like I went like a solid four or five years like without watching porn at all There you go because like when I had a girlfriend like I didn't really like I wasn't like I need to yeah I was like whatever like I just had sex like a couple days ago like I watch porn I would say you're in the minority here though. You think I think you're in it like a two percent honestly

Yeah, I think people even when they have and that's the thing that's why I stopped watching porn and jerking off because I don't want to become a person that Would rather jerk off than have sex and I and sometimes you do it so consciously where it's like I'm not in the mood right now, but you're not in the mood because you jerked off either yesterday or In the morning or something. I'd never want to like you know, I mean, I'm terrified of that I feel like that's never gonna be a problem for me Yeah, I mean we all know about Marco. I'm not gonna bring that up or can I bring that up?

That's a good conversation to have which one which 31 times. Oh my god Yo This kid so like we Marco went to Chicago recently Yeah, and he claims that he in a four-day span five Doesn't make it easier though. I had sex 31 times in five days in five days for 40 minutes each time Yeah, that was his claim so all was called bullshit immediately right you texted the girl How you I didn't say anything. She told you the she's a liar, too Then how how are we gonna say the same thing without communicating about it if I'm lying like listen?

I don't know how both your privates aren't stinging red That's a lot of sex like that. It sounds like a lot It is a lot Five six times a day Dude, that's like maybe like a whole Valentine's Day five times. You're doing that five days in a row I Like sex, I don't know can I ask about this past weekend because what were the numbers there? Yeah, we'll just got back from Chicago again. Yeah, um, I

Was only I was there like two days. I don't know maybe like nine to ten 40 minutes, that's yeah, like you don't have time to go out if you do that first of all I don't think I've ever had I mean nah, I have I'm joking around but for the most part sex doesn't last 40 minutes No That's a long time dude. It depends when you start the clock honestly. We're talking about pump time. Oh You know timeouts and shit like the whole the whole process When you telepathically realize like we're gonna fuck any second or like when yeah Like the first kiss

I'm talking about like I'm naked. I slid in start the timer 40 minutes, dude. Well, I don't know about that. No, yeah That's a lot of foreplay Like 10 15 minutes of foreplay like 10 minutes of foreplay look at that like maybe like 12 minutes I don't know like around there. All right, and then just some sex Geez all right, hold on before we move any further. I almost forgot to do this But we have two sponsors today the first one zip recruiter Okay, it's the new year which means a fresh start for your business

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Super digression right here. What? So I'm scrolling on Twitter So it's nothing bad. It's actually good. It's cool and the Falcons are about to play the Seahawks for a few minutes and One of our friends is a big Falcon fan Alan and he retweeted something a Vic Beasley who I used to shit on all the time Become a beast this year and he's wearing an Amber visor with an American flag mouthpiece automatically new favorite player in the NFL look look how hard that like Is dope like I'm scared of him right now

I would I'm scared of him anyway because he's fucking huge and fast and yeah He can beat the shit out of you in seconds, but you know That's heat that is pretty impressed. That's I feel like that's not that cool You always want to go against the grain. Yeah, I'm sorry You want to get your kids stuff at two years old for four years old? That's still young They can't like talk. They can't I mean they could talk be playing like like you ever play those games on the computer like You don't think though by the time we have kids that they'll all like as soon as they get that technology We'll want to download snapchat and Instagram and my when they're sending out their snapchat. Isn't gonna exist anymore when we have kids

There's gonna be something else. I don't know about that dude. It's a snapchat. It's pretty big I think it's the biggest millennial It's huge and now people barely It's the Facebook is still huge. Yeah for like divorce people and like 40 year old think about it. Why did Facebook? Oh, this is another thing. Why did Facebook? Take a tank as far as Millennials go because we have other avenues. That's just quicker. Yeah, it's like With Facebook, you're like, I don't want to look at all this shit. I don't care about all this Just I just want to see pictures. You have Instagram. I don't care about all this shit

I just want to see the statuses of Twitter. It's just like now. We have a bunch of different things We're getting everything that we want and I think at a young age is a bad thing Obviously, that's why you have boundaries with your kids. That's like just letting them do it Yeah, go to bed whenever you want. Yeah, whatever eat that. Have you guys seen the new snapchat? Goggles things there's a store in the city about those what so check goggles No, like you have so they're like bluetooth goggle glasses and you can like hook it up to your phone And like you can record what you see with your eyes and snapchat stop it But it's not it's not anything like you you know that someone's wearing snapchat. Yeah, it looks different

Yeah, like we had it in our company. They brought them in and like people could wear them around and use it Was it like the Google glass ones? Yeah, but those are more discreet Yeah, education guys Actual like they're big. So they're like ski goggles kind of not that big, but but that Like you know, yeah, you know, aren't they yellow and they have a Mac it's not like it's like you warm. Yeah That's still like a bunch of people like is there there's like filters and shit. I don't know. It was like really basic We just like filmed it. Yeah, look they have like Those things on the side of them, you know what I mean? You could wow

But no, oh shit, you know what those would be dope for Speaking of porn earlier, you know those like fucking glasses or whatever that was called those are called reality porn Was the fucking glasses, you know the do you want me to bring one up right now? No, but wait just explain the where they're wearing like glasses that are recording Like the sex that they're having. Oh like a POV sort of yeah Nice, and I remember VR is another thing. You don't think that's damaging I don't think anyone would have sex ever again. Do you know they have I was having this cup like, you know You guys know that show West Westworld. Yeah, right like the robots, right?

Like what if they had like robots like that in real life just like at some point in the future, right? Can be used for like sex like right like you could just Go go like anyone can go order like a really hot like man or woman like sex robot. Yeah, would you ever like have sex with a person again? Exactly. That's what I'm saying like that's crazy See this is where Technology could get damaged because like it's stuff like that right you just get accustomed to that over time and it's easy for us to be like Our generation especially we have a good grasp on this because we're kind of on both sides Where we didn't grow up with it, but we grew up. We I mean the earlier years like the whatever you I don't know what those years are called

But that you know Like when you're a young kid and you're like a sponge you just break you get all your whatever But uh, so we didn't have it until like seventh grade I would say and then it started to become popular And then we've been living with it ever since but You know these kids are growing up in a world that's like I need a phone now I want to text people. I don't even know why I want to text them. I have nothing to say to them But I just need to do it. I just want to they hear about anything. I need to do it now I need to like I need to get this. I need to download that. I need to have it all

I need to get likes and if I don't get likes I'm a loser That's a lot of a lot of things a lot of people are getting are more depressed more than ever and You know people have said there's a direct correlation between that because another thing is The bullying aspect of it right in school. I'm sure tons of kids hated me, but didn't say like You wouldn't necessarily say it to someone. It's harder to say it to their face much easier because then you have to deal with the

Reprecussions or just you have to deal with making someone upset which doesn't feel good to humans. You know what I mean? When you make someone upset, it's like it sucks. But when you say it online, you're just like fuck it I don't have to deal with it. Just say whatever that's dangerous. That's dangerous Yeah, dude, especially because like me right like I'm in a position where like a ton of people follow me and stuff So if I said all right, relax No, but like if I if if they decided to one day like a bunch of people are just like Or I would let's say I was getting fat Er, right?

And then a lot of people are just like wow you're fat Oh, whatever like or I was super insecure about something and people just pointing at it all day. It's like I mean It's me. I'm a fucking grown man now. But if I was yeah 10 or if I was 12 and people were doing that it's like Fuck dude. Yeah, people used to make fun of me all the time in like seventh grade, bro Fucking assholes. I don't I don't did you guys do that? So Marco had like long really long hair. Yeah, like hedgehog hair. Remember And uh

Those are the days I looked good. His name was cho Why I don't know. I don't know. Cho. Yeah, people are dumb. See see what see what seventh graders do Yeah, you created that name for yourself. Yes, you did 100% did that you could also have one class that we were with every single year of Yeah, school right damn y'all. I miss middle school middle school was great middle school was good Middle school was we used to go to starbucks all the time me and marco. Yeah Yeah, I used to love going to school in middle school. Yeah, I went to high school because it's not You know how you think like everywhere you are

It's like mad work and mad responsibility And then you go to the next phase like, you know, we're school to high school And then you're like fuck y'all middle school was so much better. Yeah, and then like college and you know what I'm saying Like if you look back like middle school is just Like no worries, you know, well, it's all because we were like 13 didn't have to worry about like money or like anything Really? But like I don't know why I was ever stressed in middle school if I could go back. I would be like so like De-stressed

And our middle school class was pretty like I remember like we have some crazy like crazy eighth grade stories. Like we were all Spinning the ball. Have you guys ever played spin the ball by the way? Yeah, I've never played seven minutes in heaven I've never played that either I got punched in the eye once That has nothing to do with these games while we were playing seven minutes in heaven A girl punched you in the eye. No, no, no another guy. Remember at uh, what's your face this house? Uh, marjorie's house that I don't remember that kid gave that wasn't even in our class

He like punched me in the eye. Why you weren't you were playing seven minutes on heaven with this kid gave No, no, he was like you were there too I don't remember this at all. Yeah, he like punched me in the eye. Why did he punch you in the eye? I have no idea. I think like I made fun of him because he like had to kiss like An ugly girl. Yeah But he did and my eye like puffed up and like we were trying to come up with a story to tell my mom Who's gonna pick me up in like half an hour? Like I don't remember this. I don't think I was there. You were definitely there. I don't remember boss was 100% there

Because he like helped me. He was like, he was like, yo, he'll tell your mom We were playing like softball and the ball hit you in the eye and I was like, all right Yo, there was one time we tried to play Truth or Dare at this girl's house Chelsea's house. It's her birthday and um The girl who I had a crush on was there This girl Jamie who I had a crush on for like five years, right? and

Frankie thought he was doing me a solid that be going like Joey. I dare you to kiss Jamie. She went ill. No, no No, I just we like we we liked each other the whole time, but never said anything. I mean we're fucking kids, you know Nowadays you get the kids technology. They learn they'll be fucking in the stairways in third grade. You watch it happens Eighth grade people used to fuck all the time in the bathrooms. Did they in my school? Did they 100% Really? Yeah in high school, dude. There was an eighth grade. No, it's an eighth grade seventh grade even dude I'm telling you my school. My school. I mean my school was a little fucking crazy in middle school But there was people having sex I remember in seventh grade a girl told me she was like you're a virgin

Loser I was like and I felt sad like I was like fuck you. I need to like Like damn. I'm a virgin. I was fucking 12. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I lose my virginity. I was like 15 or 16 15 I was 16 I was 16 there you go soft more soft. Yeah, soft. Yeah, I feel like that's a normal age like Soft more junior seventh grade. That's ridiculous. No, yeah, it's it's fucking crazy and she made it seem like it was a while ago So

She's like what I lost that she didn't say that but I just the way she was saying it made it sound like she's also in like fifth grade Like yeah, like at her birth. She was like, oh, yeah, I was fucking Ben fucking this bed like that's how she said it to me. I was kind of like damn. I'm a virgin Fucking loser. I just started getting boners a couple years before you know I don't even know how to that. When do you get boners? I don't even know. Yeah, I should probably look this up I have a really funny story about that that I'm not going to tell because I feel like it's really embarrassing No, you got to tell it. You can't just do something like that and not tell it. All right. We convinced him All right. Yeah

You got a random boner. It's like nine or 10 and it was like when I first started getting like erections like Yeah, I think I don't know like I didn't really know what to do with them though, you know, right I didn't know where to put them The door on it. So like the first couple of times that I like Myself, I don't know what that you did what to yourself. You jerked off. Yeah, I didn't jerk off though I like kindled it like wood. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you You rolled it like Play-Doh Oh my god, I was trying to start a fire

That's hard, yo I did that for like a solid like couple months and then I like One day I was just like, yo And I was like, yeah, that's there. I forgot how I learned how to jerk off probably It's just like a natural like Kind of reaction signs. Yeah, yeah, you know like monkeys in the zoo. You ever see those videos of them beating it It's like, how do they know to jerk off? It's crazy. It's like, yo

I can't believe it. Yo, that's that's That's amazing. You know, you know who told me he used to jerk off like weird boss used to Boss told me that I mean, I wish people could understand what I'm doing, but he would do this Like guys picture like Pulling on a rope, right? Keep pulling like like the rope passed you but reverse That's how he would jerk off like one hand at a time. Just pull at it. Like what the fuck are you doing, man? He used to beat it in the shower. I haven't done that in years though. I mean either I think the water is uh,

I don't like it What do you mean? I don't like I don't like water is as like a lubricant or whatever. It's not a lubricant You know if you like If you do it in the shower be careful because like right after you come your like hole is open So if you get soap in there that shit burns like a motherfucker You're talking for my experience aren't you? Yeah That's great. I only had shower sex once in my life. Hey, uh, that's a lie probably like three times But I hate I don't like it. I don't I'm like, come on man. We gotta shower. Let's get the fuck out of here. Let's go to the bed

I have the shit to do It's like dangerous. I almost killed someone doing it. Really? Yeah. It's slippery, man Oh, I was I thought soap dish is flying soaps all over the ground shampoo. That's why you gotta be careful with the soap Just be careful Oh my god, yeah, I mean I don't know kids are spoiled nowadays, man. Do you get to jerk off to cool porn? I used to have like good housekeeping back in the day Literally good housekeeping. I mean trying to be like I don't know those magazines when I was yeah

I would lock myself in the bathroom pretend I'm taking a dump Healthy living that might have been the one honestly and like anyone a woman in a turtleneck. Yeah Are you kidding me? Never jerked off to like a magazine. No, I've never jerked off to like a magazine with old ladies walking around Middle-aged they're like attractive middle-aged like if your wife looks like this when she's 40 you have a Yeah, like 35 to 40 year olds, but they're wearing like turtlenecks. All I need to see was like the curvature I was like there's sits behind that sweater and I just imagine the rest. Yeah, you know, what's crazy when I was younger There was a garage at the top of my block and it was like under construction and my neighbor

stole like a porn magazine from his parents and hit it in the crack of where the Like in the in the walls like on the side of the garage. So whenever we wanted we could just Go up the block Get a climb a little fence and in the crack of the concrete you take out there's a magazine

Wow extreme measures. Yeah, I've never jerked off outside Or anything like that outside. Yeah, like outside your home. No, just like yeah, or outside like a room. Yeah Well, like every Everywhere is a room. No, like a personal place like either a hotel room or My my room my home. I've never jerked off like outside or at work or anything like that. Yeah, I Maybe have you know what? At work, but like you jerked it at work. Yeah, but like in the past though like when I was in high school and like horn you Stuff, you know, how does that happen? It's a I don't like I don't know you're in high school

You're bored. You have nothing to do So you just go to the bathroom and you hit a stall You're beating it in the stall. What if people come in they can't hear you It's just be quiet dude. You don't know how to do it quietly. I mean, I yeah, I'm a master at what I do now Did anyone walk in like while you were in there? Yeah, like I would just like wait and then they'd leave and then I'd continue That's amazing. People just people think you're taking the poop. See this is where this is where the You're crossing the the thin line between addiction and healthy

It's like 14 like 15 Like, you know, like I don't know it happens. You know one of these days you're gonna talk into that mic Yeah, because you haven't been doing it for a while. Oh shit. So you're just like this. Oh, I'm sorry No, it's cool. But um Yeah, that's another thing too. So the porn addiction I think is super real I think that people are addicted when we realize that they are people can be addicted to porn It's it's it's kind of like a routine like a med when I had him on I was like, how many times do you think you jerk off? And he's like 10 to 15

Which is an absurd amount. No, what? He's not you having sex over there Uh, but he he said he jerks off anywhere from 10 to 15 times a week It's like twice a day basically basically. Yeah, I'm like, that's a shit ton, dude And I thought it was a shit ton until I asked people to send me How many times they jerk off in a week? They say like 50. No, no, Jesus Christ. No, but most people were I would say on average 7 to 10 A week a week. Yeah. Yeah, so everyone's beating it once a day. Right, but

Is that I don't know if that's bad or whatever clearly that's not in moderation. That's every day. It's like a routine now That's moderation. How many times though? I didn't ask them at this and I wish I did But how many times do you think out of those 10 to 15 times? He just like Did it because he just had nothing else to do. He was bored or you know, it was just like a routine and just like Whatever, I'm not really Because I've done that before I'm just laying in bed. I'm like, I won't mind as well. Just do this go to sleep. Fuck it Uh, I don't know. I feel like I'm too lazy to do that So what jerk off to like

Jerk off when like I have nothing else to do, you know, I mean when it takes 40 minutes of time All right, Jesus Sorry, I have stamina Sorry Easy there. Hugh Heff. Everyone thinks I'm like a huge douchebag now. Probably why because you jerk off all the time Oh, like you guys saying this like it sounds like I'm bragging about sex. I'm not. It's all you guys Saving themself right now Please in this case

Oh my god But that's but this is what I was gonna say is that now the younger kids once they get they're gonna get introduced to porn I mean, I regardless they're gonna get introduced to porn. I think in an earlier age when we have kids and The addiction can be real Have you guys ever used a flashlight? I wish I've seen one either I've never even like a couple of my friends own one and I'm like, I feel like that's a lot of weird It is weird because it's a lot of money. It's like a hundred bucks or something. It's over. It's like 120 150 One for

You bought one for you. I was gonna get you one for Secret Santa. I would have been hyped. That was way too expensive though That's something that I think that I could only use one time. Yeah, but like I have a question because I've never really like Gone and looked into a fucking flashlight, but like when you like Come into the flashlight. Do you like does it have like a filter where you just take it out and throw it out? No, that's the thing. So this is like the dishwasher, right? Right. So this is this is the thing That's why I said I would only use it one time because I don't have it in me to Clean it

Like I think that is even going like buying it Is and using it is like you're going the extra mile and then cleaning it Like it's a dish Is like even you're going even further with that Just sitting there cleaning this like dirty flashlight that you just yeah with the rest of your fucking dishes Let's throw it by itself. I don't know But it still leaves the fucking remnants of a lot of You have to get into the mind of like an attic here now, right? The things I know man

I mean this I mean this is where we're all headed it Unless we're unless we get enlightened I'm just doing this to prove to myself that I'm not addicted to it that I can go out 30 days without jerking off This is not going to like a lifestyle change for me at all I'm not going to like never do it again. I'm not going to say that obviously I'm just doing it so I could be like I'm not addicted, you know Like the sex different the sex that you have different from if you're not jerking off It's I mean it's too early to tell I think it's too early to tell. Yeah, I just mean it just happened

Okay, because I've I've gone, you know, I don't I don't think since I started my jerking off career that I've gone an entire week without doing it May maybe like If there was a crazy circumstance like I was away Like I'm not on vacation jerking off and shit, you know, I mean like that's Yo, that's kind of that's mad crazy to think about. Yeah, like everyone you interact with every day is just like They probably jerk off like in the yeah, they probably jerked off that day Or they will jerk off later that day. Oh man, like you shake hands with so many people Giz remnants all over you go on the subway. You're basically shaking hands with dicks

Yeah, all those poles on the subway Blood giz and piss. I'm gonna start giving people like elbow pounds. Yeah Yeah, I don't fuck with the subway at all. I wash my hands like four times a day Is that a lot? That's not a lot, right? Four. I feel like that's a little Yeah, dude, how many times do you piss a day? Yeah, I know. I I wanted to say 40 You just went to the bathroom before did you wash your hands? Absolutely not. Well, you don't oh, hold on You know, it's a great thing. Can I have that argument by the way? Why if if I shower

in the morning And then I take a piss in my home I have to wash my hands. My dick isn't dirty It's just a dick. Yeah, but we're here What does that mean? I don't know Like this is in your home Like to me your dick isn't gonna get dirtier than your thigh. No, no, it's like I feel like you wash them because you might get like some pee on them or something, you know

What are you holding the front of your dick like a little splash back you never get splash back Not really how much force are you? This is like I don't have a urinal in my house. Oh, we're talking about the home. We're just sitting showered and then went Yeah, I'm in my home. I don't I don't always wash my hands. No, I'll always wash my hands in a bar Or in a public place because I just I think everything's disgusting. This is what I was gonna say Yeah, you never have like done the like the fake wash hands when you're out like 100 Yeah, so when you're out in a bar and you go to pee and the only reason like you're gonna go up to the bathroom

Put your hands underneath the fucking sink only because there's someone else in the bathroom you want If they weren't there, I'm out. Yeah exactly But for the most part like now I've done that before but I'm just super I'm not like a germaphobe But I feel like I'm well on my way because I wash my hands before I wash my hands before every meal I wash my hands if I'm out All the time like randomly Like like in a bar if like if I'm if I don't even have to go to the bathroom

Sometimes I just go to the bathroom and wash my hands because I feel like I know I have germs all over my hands Like just being here Yeah, I'm kind of insane. I'm losing it. I should probably wash my hands more I had a co-worker that I used to I used to work with that makes sense It goes a little redundant there. I had a co-worker used to work with He used to not Eat like he won't eat french fries With his hands. He'll use a napkin. I'm like you're out of your mind, dude

I mean at least he was like a fork I don't dude. It was the weirdest thing napkin. That's even if he washed his hands He would still eat it with a napkin. He's like, I just don't I'm like you're psychotic. Yeah, this guy's living in a he's a bubble boy um Yeah, some of those germs To fight me. I always wash my hands when there's someone else there though Like you have to kind of you know, you wash your hands every time you go to the bathroom in your house in my house No, I would say I would say less than

5% of the time I do but like I'll like But I'm not like really germaphobe. Like I'll be ready. I'll be like preparing food and like I won't have washed my hands, you know, like I'm just like See like that. Yeah, I don't I wash my hands. You seasoned chicken without washing your hands Like I don't really think about it. Do you wash your hands after you season the chicken? Yeah, because then I touch the chicken. Yeah, it's making sure over here Because I feel like even though my hands are dirty as I'm seasoning the chicken Like I'm gonna cook it like it's gonna kill the bacteria. So like it doesn't really matter

But like if I'm feeding someone else, like I'll wash my hands Give it some flavor. People get like Right. Yeah. Skived out about shit like you like if I were like, you know, I'm saying you would probably yeah I'm never eating at your houses. Yeah I cook really good stuff, dude. Do you? Yeah, like a song like I cook myself now every day Yeah, leaves the steaks on the balcony. That's the Then we write your house and we just kept leaving your steaks on your balcony. Yeah, wait, why I think it was Halloween You were defrosting them

No, no Eric was like one time Eric came over I was like Gonna make steaks for dinner and I like put him because it was like the summer So like I put him out on my balcony to no no your roommate put them on the balcony. He was yeah To like the frost whatever so like on Halloween You don't remember this Eric kept going like into my freezer taking out my steaks and throwing them onto the balcony He's like, they have to defrost Every 10 minutes I was doing this. I'm like, yo, can you just leave my food in my freezer? There was one point where like I just left him there and Marco had no idea

Yeah, and then I go outside and there's fucking steaks on the floor a drunk Eric is just Yeah, it's unbelievable great time. We were out. We were just I was just with my brother and then I think you My brother works for Oppenheimer, which is like a bank or whatever and Marco I don't know. He like you're like a financial analyst or something and then Here I heard the word finance was like these guys must like know each other. He's like you guys should talk Thomas is like we don't and we have the complete opposite job No, but that's that's just what I do like I go places and I just like next people connect people. That's literally what I do And I did that's it. That's that's all I do for like my life. That's what I was made for

Eric yesterday. He was like, yo, Marco, hook Thomas up with your connection Morgan Stanley. I'm like, I don't know anyone So random he does that all the time or like he'll just make stuff up all the time. It's great It works out. I think I think I'm like Partially responsible for the advancement of Joey's career Someone's always pushing my name. You know, you were the reason why I got the first time I ever got Recognized on the street. We were at Rockefeller Center Years ago and then Eric like my friends all the time would just be like you're Uh, Joe from my space or Joe from facebook

And then they would always just be like, oh, you guys know Joe santa. I got a little blah blah blah whatever And then we were at Rockefeller Center and these girls walked by and they're like, you know, you know, Joe santa Goddow, you know, like what and then he's like, oh, shit That was the first time someone recognized me You're welcome. He does that. It's my pr guy over here. Even when you're not there. He does that, you know, I know that Okay, yeah, dude, like just like I ran them places, you know, you know, Joe santa. Goddow So my my new thing is since I'm I'm Planning on going to law school next year. I ask everyone that Joey brings because Joey has a lot of like

Friends that like do cool shit So I asked them if they need a lawyer and to wait three years Wait three years Yeah, he's got a clientele are all booked up already I do I have a little book Shout out to greg shout out to greg dieback. He was on the podcast. Oh, yeah. Well, he's uh, yeah He's my new client. He's uh, he's an author. He's gonna write a book. He should write a tale of old e There you go. Oh the if you the good old eric stories I went to dinner once. I know you two are here. I went to dinner with that kid greg

And john bellion's two managers And we were just like talking about our friends and stuff because they're from long island and whatever But I'll tell them stories about you and about him and they're like, yo, we gotta hang out with your friends I was like, I was like, yeah, man We were pretty rowdy bunch when everyone gets together and starts drinking nice eric starts making shit up Yeah, that's what I left and right Yeah, nothing. Oh my god. I was fell off this. It's a good strategy though Yeah, you're never gonna see like when we go out to the city, I'm never gonna see most of these people again

Yeah, I remember there was a streak that if we went out either eric tried to fight someone or anyone over the over six five Assum if he was security security guard Yo, joy, this is our security guard. I was like, what? Yo, we went to toronto right? Hold on. Hold on. Oh, yeah I'm so excited. Yeah, like, no, you could tell the story We went to toronto right we went to this place, uh cold cabana. It's like outdoors whatever we got there was very We it was very open whatever when we walk in there's not a lot of people there

There's these two huge jacked black dudes, right? And we're like, I forgot someone was like, oh, we gotta hang out with them Hours later, we end up talking to them and eric convinces them that they're like, they're actually really cool I follow them both on it. Hold on. The guy owen is this arm secured He has he put out a business card on instagram the other day arm security guard So like I think I started his career in that too. I know I should DM him y'all No, like that's what he that's my boy. I think him and vice both had kids. So congratulations to both of them. Oh, yeah Eric was like, oh, this is joe whatever you started talking about me and I hate hearing about myself

So it's like I get like and I hate when he does it because it's it's always eric. He's always like, oh my boy I was like, please stop But uh, those guys are really cool but it was so funny because we're sitting there and uh some drunk guy just like He stumbled into our like section It was like talking to these girls that we were with and the one of the guys kind of looks at me and he goes You know that guy and I was like, no, I don't know. So he just gets up. Dude. This guy's huge By the way, he's the scariest guy probably six seven and he was like, yo, buddy. You gotta get the fuck out of here

Like a security guard it was great These guys looked like NFL linebackers. Yeah, they're huge man. They're awesome. They were the coolest guys ever That was pretty cool. But yeah, that's they were from new york too or connecticut So yeah, I think one of them is from new york and one of them is from connecticut. But it's so fucking funny I was like, there goes eric again. It never fails. Literally every time you go out. Yeah, someone knew Chips are the best man. Yeah, like especially when you have a bunch of like morons like us. Yeah in one place I mean, you know, uh, anyway, let's let's wrap this up here. We've been here for 53 minutes Is that like the length of your things? I mean, they're kind of they they vary. They're like 40 to an hour, you know

Uh, anyway, marco, where can they contact you? Um, I think my instagram is m.gonzo 28 So if you can hit me up, especially if you're like famous and you just want to make me famous, that's cool Or if you'd like to have sex 31 times in five days, then you guys hit up marco on the sex I'm cool. I'm done. We know M.gonzo, uh, eric 28, where can they find you if they want to be part of your clientele? Um, My instagram is I it's dogato it's d l g a d o Um, yeah, but i'm private. I don't really like a lot of people follow me anymore Oldie doesn't

It's law school, you know what I mean? So you can't you can't have the craziness, you know Yeah, but all right. Anyway, that's all and thanks for listening you motherfuckers