The Basement Yard - Strip Club Confessions w/ Davino

Episode Date: May 24, 2016

@AntVino will not leave me alone so he's back to talk about strip clubs! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard. It is May 22nd Sunday Yeah, it's not Monday. I'm doing it early I'm with Anthony DeVino a returning guest a fan favorite and a piece of shit. Let me hear it Let me hear it. Let me hear it talk to me. Oh Shit, I mean man. I don't watch in Game of Thrones. Let's do it a lot of ice cream I feel like everyone in the supermarket was staring at us. Hell. Yeah, they thought we were weird because I first of all I want to tell everyone how I'm dressed by the time this goes up there. There'll be a video on
Starting point is 00:00:35 This Channel that I have it's my a separate YouTube channel. It's called extra Joe YouTube comm slash extra Joe videos. That's who you were doing out there with the okay good So and this outfit that I have on I show in the video and I'm still wearing it I need to show it really bad. I'm wearing long socks and they have ornaments on them and then I have Green lime green shorts with orange with orange trim. Yep I have baby blue compression shorts on underneath. They are and then a yellow tank top sleeveless, and I was wearing a hat
Starting point is 00:01:12 So I was a fucking disaster. Yeah, you became barge into the supermarket. It was like you lost the bet Yeah, I look like just I don't like I don't know. I just lost hope and I just was like fuck it Yeah, no, I literally look like I fell in like a basket of laundry. Mm-hmm, whatever stuck and you came out with whatever Yeah, that's like cool. That's life. I mean you're wearing gloves on your feet. Sometimes you wear gloves on your easy decisions easy decisions Right life is it dude. I don't nothing you have said Can't lose your phone you can't lose your phone then you lose your life That's true. Let me ask you a question do it. Would you rather? have
Starting point is 00:01:51 Low battery or your gas light on Which is worse? Your gas know your battery because that shows his die on you. At least you got the reserve tank in the car So you'd rather have Low gas then low battery. I think that's what I just said. I don't remember. It just happened. How the fuck do you not remember? What did I say? I are you where are you? What did I choose? Are you okay? Yeah, so much. I know it's a little late. What time is it?
Starting point is 00:02:19 It's 10 21 game of thrones just ended my bedtime, huh great episode. It was a great episode. Hold on I'm sorry. I'm just I'm sorry I know it's disgusting to a lot of people but that had to come out. It was building up It was you know what I mean? I felt pregnant for a second and it's like we're giving birth now There's so much ice cream in my stomach Do you think that's what giving birth is like but like more painful gotta push hard? I know it's like Like you know when you get really bloated and you're like if I could just fart for like eight When you get bloated when you're bloated and you can't breathe because that's happened to me before and I'm gonna die mom
Starting point is 00:02:53 Kill me like travels up. Yeah, dude. I don't like that at all. I hate it I've had like I don't drink soda, but if I drink soda now my body's like dude. What are you doing? You drink soda? That's bad. You know like if I have a jack and coke or something. That's terrible still you don't drink jack and coke straight shock Shock top what do you drink like for drinks like Jameson shout out to D. Lil D Jameson on the rocks with tonic orange slice crush it up You like that Jameson on the rocks. Yeah with tonic tonic. Oh low cow and Orange slice crush it up on the bottom
Starting point is 00:03:32 I just want to be it's my life. How do you mix Jameson with anything? You just it's tonic Leopard Do you drink gin tonic? Oh, remember your Super Bowl party. Oh, let me do this shot of gin. Yeah, here it comes Oh shit gin literally tastes like death what I imagine like The grossest come when I took a shot of gin all the saliva my mouth said let's get out here fellas Yeah, and disappeared dude. Gin's disgusting. Yeah, fuck that. It's like salty water With like I don't like I don't know like a fish has been living in there when people say let me have a gin and tonic I asked them I first asked myself why and then I say are you crazy? Yeah, are you okay?
Starting point is 00:04:14 Oh, what's wrong with you? What are you talking about the great drink? Oh my god? I know people just binge drink gin and tonics. They're like fuck it. I'm just gonna throw I'm like tonight Gin and tonic, you know, it's dude. You're fucking gross. You know, it's really good the whiskey sours. Oh my god They'll get you they sneak up on you. Oh, they say you'll have like for you like yo, man I don't feel shit and you walk outside. It's like, oh man. I was just introduced to somebody, you know It's really dangerous the one time. This is the strongest ever been in my life Pete from the neighborhood. He was going away to Greece. This is years ago He was having to go away poor going away party and that whole summer. I did not touch any liquor
Starting point is 00:04:47 I was just drinking beer, but like a lot at a time like at least 10 to 12 every time we drank not every day But you know, so I was just like throwing it back. So that night I was like, I just was in a habit of just throwing down drinks and he had some like cotton candy Pinnacle vodka shit. Oh, I know what you're talking about. That's good. Dude makes it All so I was like, oh dude cotton candy sick and I'm throwing him down dude. I was gone. Yeah, you gotta be careful I got home. I threw I was I was sitting on my toilet threw up in my tub and then when I went to bed and then I went to bed one night when I Woke up in the morning my mom barged into my room and me and Keith were sharing a room at the time
Starting point is 00:05:29 And my mom comes into my room and she goes, why is there a pair of boxers in the toilet? And I'm like and I look down and I'm like I have mine on and then I look over at Keith Then he just gives me look like he like shrugs your shoulders like Fucking just ditched your fucking box What the fuck happened that you had to ditch it Anyway, I don't think I've ever gotten that drunk like that. I've gotten drunk But not let me take off my shit and throw it in the bathroom. No, my mom won't have that She'll fuck me up while I'm sleeping. Yeah, we know you throw up on your floor
Starting point is 00:06:04 She'll punch me in the mouth while I'm sleeping and I'll be like, yo, what the fuck boom can there you go Then you go right back to sleep 100% So Davino's here for a reason Davino always comes because he's he comes bearing stories always so You know, please the floor is yours. I would love to know what we what you have for us Oh my god, the strippers brah the strippers. I already like where this is going and I'm sure a lot of people just went Oh, thank god the conversations they have with you like first of all, hold on. How many times have you been to a strip club? One time. Yeah, so I've been I've been once it's no twice. We went twice. No, I was a cabin. I didn't go
Starting point is 00:06:45 Yeah, you were with us. I swear on Kansas. I've never been to a strip club with you I only went to a strip club one time. I went into the city. This was random like these two models That I was like cool with they're not like that makes it sound way more cool Like I was taking these models like I'm not trying to be like that dickhead But they're models and that's all because I forgot their names, you know, I mean, so I This was years ago and I went and we're in the city and we're at a bar and like they're like just cool people like to hang out with Or whatever and we were with some other guy He ended up leaving and then they were like, you know, it's early. It was like 11 o'clock. They're like
Starting point is 00:07:18 Let's go to a strip club. So we walked around and found one and we walked in dude. It was the fucking most low budget strip club It was the independent film of strip clubs. Like it was just like I forgot the name of this one like a kickstarter strip club You know what I mean? Like The girls were just kind of like whatever like didn't even give a shit And it was just like a weird vibe. Like I don't know strip clubs for me. I like just a weird vibe I always think about like the dudes in there. I feel like they're all weird. Let me talk to you about that
Starting point is 00:07:50 Please. Okay. Yo, we walk into this strip club with my two boys, right? And right away. Yo, they're pumping oxygen in there. It's heavy. All right, heavy You're in there. You're awake. You're breathing. Yeah, we get a free comp drink from the cigar place that we were at and um We walk in You know, they took our ID our information. The only thing they didn't ask us for was our social security Wait, so you took your IDs, which is obvious. Yeah, so weird All right, not weird for the IDs, but yeah for everything else they were asking for too much info So, um, I walk in right we go get a beer and sit down
Starting point is 00:08:24 Don't sit on the dance floor. Do not sit because they come right up to you. They don't care and they jump on your lap It's like no, no, no, I don't like the dance floor. Don't like the stage No, like the area where you want to get a dance. Oh first of all, all right We sit down right where I would show my boys getting a dance. All of a sudden some girl runs up to me full speed head and She jumps on my lap like no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, all right fine And then she starts dancing on me. I can't understand a word She's like probably russian. She had an accent. Yeah, heavy accent. Oh man. What was her name? Oh, fuck. I forgot man. It was so
Starting point is 00:09:00 Was it like like a like it wasn't a real name like lollipop or something could have been like candy or candy or my name is Lola, right? Lola stupid. I like that name And um girl runs up to you. She just jumps on your lap full throttle And she just starts dancing on you like a bronco buster. Yo, and I'm sitting there right and I'm like, all right Like like this is the first time I've been to like an actual strip of sec The first time we went to a strip club was like lame. There were two chicks dancing on stage. They were huge Oh, I'm so beautiful. Like no, you're not. So why are they all foreign? I don't know man, but yo, I sat down, right? And I'm like, hey, hey, what's up? Oh, I'm good. I'm good
Starting point is 00:09:39 What's good? What's up with you? Like talking to me like that and I'm like, I'm all right. I'm all right Where you from daddy? Is this is while she's dancing? Yeah, where you from daddy? I'm like, oh Queens Oh good. Cool. Cool. So like I'm I'm not even I don't want to I don't want to dance from this girl She was not the one I would have picked All right All right, and she's going and I'm just putting dollars. I'm slipping like I'm like, I don't know what to do She goes, oh, it's your first time. I'm like, yeah, she goes. Oh, you're so cute. Oh, it's so pretty. I'm like, pretty
Starting point is 00:10:10 What she called you pretty? I'm like, yo, I'm like, where are you from? I'm from brooklyn bed style and right away I knew that was terrible. So I just go. Oh, that's good. Good for you. No, it's so bad. I want to get out That's why I work I'm like, why are you talking to me like this? Very Dangerous. I'm like, why are you I was like, where? Which strip club is this? I don't know. It was right off the 59th street bridge something with an s Oh scandals. No scandals is off the 59th street bridge. You just said that. All right, no
Starting point is 00:10:43 Like like go over the 59th street bridge going into the city Yeah, I think that's oh, no, no, no, you're right. You're right. I know what you're talking about I don't know something with an s. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, man. Yeah, I know what you're talking about I forgot the name but and we're just dancing, right? And I'm like, all right. I think I'm like 11 bucks in So I'm like, all right. I have 20 singles. I'm gonna find the next girl song and 20 dollars poppy I'm like, what the fuck on top of the money that you gave her. No, no the money. I was like, how much should I give you? I was like take it out. You know what I'm saying? Like get it off So she counts it and I was like, all right, just here's the rest take it
Starting point is 00:11:15 So um that happened and I was just like, yo, this this sucks. Like how do you fucking get it? Like I don't want you to dance on me. You know what I'm saying? You want another song? I'm like, definitely not Like no, you're crazy. I mean you walk into a strip club. You're fucking not from her Yo, there were some bad ass strippers. Yo, let me tell you if you're a girl and you walk into a strip club You get the full fucking show. Yeah, like she'll grab your yo, joey First of all to the girls the weirdos in there. All right, dude, I can only imagine Like if you go into a strip club at like 1 30 in the afternoon, I imagine there's like oldies in there just like Yeah, whatever. I hate my wife and my kids. I just want to see a tit
Starting point is 00:11:53 There was girls dancing on these rich dudes and the dudes were rubbing her their backs like massaging them while they were getting Dances scratching their backs and then there was another guy ready for this the girl that was dancing on his wife was Bad when I mean bad. I mean like yo good shit And I was like I want her but I wasn't fucking carrying fucking big spending money Like I needed like at least 300 for her And this guy was holding his wife's hand and he was petting her hand as she was getting basically Destroyed by this stripper when I mean destroyed. I mean like the girl was sitting there. She's grandma And she's grabbing her tits are at anything you could think of that a guy can't do to a stripper
Starting point is 00:12:34 That girl was getting the full game. I couldn't believe it. I was like, yo, I was like, fuck this. I don't want to dance I want to I just want to watch I was like, yo, you serious throw money over there But yeah, yo, I was like, damn, but there was some crazy the dude was petting his wife's hand as he was leaning over just Petting her hand. Wait, so so the see I don't I don't like that. I was so weird. I was like, yo, this is not good Wait, so so the the wife was getting uh, yeah, and the husband was holding her hand holding his wife's hand and just petting it Like she was going through labor like holding isn't her hand like leaning over with his legs crossed like a woman I'm like, yo, dude, you are weird
Starting point is 00:13:09 I was like, this is weird, man I was like, yo all for the dance good for you But dude, you're weird and then the other guy was still rubbing the girls back like who are you They just you know a lot of people do weird stuff like there's this thing in japan That you could pay To FaceTime with a girl And she'll eat food and you'll eat food like you're on a date. That's so weird. Yeah Conversations for money. It's so it's just like, you know, that's that. Let's see. It's a weird thing
Starting point is 00:13:42 I'll never waste my money on shit like that. I went to the strip club and I was like, damn. Yeah, it was fun But I was just I think it's cool to do once in a while. It's just like, you know an experience and stuff I personally didn't like really enjoy it. I felt like Uh Out of place, I don't know Yeah, me too because a lot of weirdos are there. We're not weird. Yeah, and it's not even about the strippers It's about the other people. Yeah, I was just like some of these people just creep me out like you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:14:09 It's they're you're normal. They they aren't it's bad Like I'm like, oh and they were just dudes just like yeah, man just throw singles everywhere. Yeah, bro Yeah, there's money all over the floor. God forbid. I bent down to pick up a dollar shot in the face bang Probably by a bouncer or a stripper how much money was on the ground? Yo, I want to say hi thousands And then they carry like clips like they know if they have a lot of money Like if they're getting like legit 20s or 50s or 100s They have a clip on their ankle and they money hangs off of it. So they keep clipping their money onto it
Starting point is 00:14:42 You know what I'm saying? Yo, they walk out with a g a way over a g a night They have to that's why strippers are so rich They pay for their own medical You can't afford health insurance. It's so I know you have health insurance now me psych. Oh, you don't I got screwed It was a discounted point. I got no health insurance. I need surgery on my shoulder You don't need surgery. Yeah shout out to you. Dude. Yeah, man. Your shoulder's good. All you do is hurt your muscles Dude gnarly. I don't know why you listen to first of all, who the fuck is that because I have never said the word gnarly in my life Dude, yo, totally man. Just get up dude surf. Yeah. Yeah, because that's what I fucking sound like a jerk
Starting point is 00:15:21 You know, it's funny though because when you got hurt, I was like you're fine. You're probably just like, you know I'll have a stinger or whatever And when Keith got hurt My brother broke his fucking neck and I was yelling at him to get back in the game. He just I was like you just have whip lash I was there. Yeah, he got I remember that I could still see it in my head His neck went from 12 o'clock to 3 30 But going around one time I was supposed to say 12 o'clock 3 30 is not like anything, but going around once, right? I was circular
Starting point is 00:15:52 Right the next day. I got you. I'm here. I got you. That was brutal. Um, dude. Yeah real quick before we move on I just have to do sponsorships to you know, okay do it Um, I want to ask you tell me. Do you know what blue apron is? No You shook your head. I don't know All right, so listen tell me because I'd like to hear it No, you might even do this because I even said this is one of the most useful things I've ever like so like advertised Let's do it. What they are is they're a company you sign up and they will send you periodically
Starting point is 00:16:24 Meals in a box, right? It comes in a fucking box. I just got I just got one today comes in a box There is a recipe and a step-by-step way and all the fucking ingredients that you need No way down to like the salt and pepper. Are you serious? Like literally everything. It's swear to god So it's like if if you're I don't know if you're like dating some girl and her birthday is Whenever the fuck it is, right? And then you say Okay, you sign up and you're like, I want a fucking Whatever the hell I want at this time It'll get there. You have all the ingredients. You know how to cook it. Hmm. Home cooked meal. Wow
Starting point is 00:17:00 What do you think that does for you? You get to sleep in the same bed as her Yeah You get to sleep in the same bed as her But yeah, it's like I like this. I want to check it out. They have legit food too like I was I was surprised like the first one that I opened up like I thought it was gonna be like launchables, you know Oh, what have been so long had that like toothpaste like tomato sauce. Oh, so gross No, they have legit food like they have fish and all this up like it all comes in a box with these freezers
Starting point is 00:17:35 Is it frozen or yeah, it's all like they have The food that's non perishable on top and on the bottom. There's these freezer packs And the stuff is in between that so it keeps it cold And um, I want to check this out. It's less than $10 a meal also. No way. Which are you serious? Yes, so like I'm I'm getting on that shit tomorrow. I gotta get the link because we we've worked in the city Yeah, you have to buy lunch fucking $20 a day. Yeah 20 yo sick. It's a ridiculous. I need to get on this Yeah, so if you guys want to sign up, uh, you check out this week's menu and get your first two meals free With free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash basement
Starting point is 00:18:13 Blueapron.com slash basement That sounds right. I like that dude crazy. So you get two meals free. Thank you. I'm about to do a week What is it a day every time you sign up? You can get them whenever the hell you want. That's great. I'm down I've gotten two two already and there's like multiple meals in them. Wow. Oh, I gotta check that out Is it a big box? Yeah, it's big. All right, I'll check that out. It's not like enormous, but you know It's uh, it's big enough big enough. You know it's big enough to feed By the way, so let's get back on track here since we're talking about strip clubs Uh
Starting point is 00:18:49 The night of the cozy cabin. Oh boy. I was hammered. We played ding dong ditch right at three in the morning I was drop kicking mailboxes. First of all ding dong ding dong ditch Fun game when you're young. Yeah Even more fun when you're old and you're it's when yo, oh my god Remember I was I was in a ghost buster suit Why and I ran to the door. Yeah, we ran to the door. I rang the bell ding ding ding I laughed really hard got back in the car drove off. We didn't know if they came out Dude, but we will come up is one of the funnest things
Starting point is 00:19:22 Oh, yeah, I was so hyped for that. It's so like dumb You didn't see the videos of me drop kicking mailboxes and signs. Yeah, the the signs. Yo, that was bad So like you know the signs that like are on the side of the road or in people's it says for sale or just sold Or it's like vote for governor where the fuck your name is or or some real estate agents pictures on it all those signs For whatever reason that night I forgot who was driving but you would hop out nick was driving You would hop out and steal all of them and throw them in the trunk
Starting point is 00:19:55 Yep, and then we put them all at the end of the night at the end of the night put them all in dominic's little yard It was this yo, I couldn't believe how funny it's not even like a yard. He has like a patch It's like a little garden in the front of his house And we put like everything 30 signs in that little garden The next day he put a picture in the group chat. He's like who the fuck Yo, I was dead. I was dead And I remember that night in the cozy cabin frankie went in there. I was with him Yeah, right and he started playing pool at a random right so fray. Yeah, frankie like is uh
Starting point is 00:20:31 He's hispanic, but he doesn't speak spanish like very well. He knows like the basics So he walks into this place and there's a guy playing pool And like this is the kind of place that you don't It smelled it smelled like std's right if std's had a smell I smelled it right. I was like, this isn't good. This isn't breathing in chlamydia right now And my lungs have chlamydia. Yep. I was very scared But frankie was playing uh pool against this guy for money apparently And the guy was speaking spanish to him and frankie just kept going see yes
Starting point is 00:21:07 Yeah, he was it was just like seeing him head to death. I don't even know if he gave him money or he No, frankie said that they ran out. He's like, yo, I didn't have any money. I ran We stole balloons and ran out. I remember there was balloons in the trip There were I remember someone's birthday one of the strippers were dancing and they were huge and and domic is just Rocking her with one dollar bills and she goes. I'm not the beautiful. I'm a fat soul And yeah, I swear to god and he goes you're fucking gorgeous I love you and he's throwing dollars at her. I remember two strippers. They were ugly and frankie said that one of them was like How you doing? I'm shying. Yeah, and he's like, oh, yeah, you're shying. No, don't worry about it. You'll do fine
Starting point is 00:21:49 She goes no, no, I'm shying and he goes oh your name's shying. Okay, great That's great. It was so fucking right. You'll do fine. No, don't worry about it I think nick asked one of them. I got the lady goes yo for 20 bucks. I'll do whatever you want He's like we need to get out here. This isn't good. This isn't good 20 bucks. That's it. He goes no shot He goes I'm out By the way, this place that we're talking about it's like a little hole in the wall It's closed now. They closed it down. They closed it down. Yeah, I think it was like a sex store or something It's a sex store. No, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:22:23 Yeah, you go Excuse me, you go upstairs and you're fucking you pipe for a dollar. Oh, it's like a brothel. Yeah, it was it was crazy I don't know. I said brothel. I was scared to buy it proper turn if I got a beer there It was definitely open used cleaned out and then beer put back in and sealed You know, it was like they put him in the dishwasher. It was so gross. I was like, yo, I'm not staying here. Let's get out of here Yeah, Christina's deli Christina's deli you guys drove out all the way there. Yeah What was all this driving this night? I don't know and nick was sober like thank god
Starting point is 00:22:58 Oh, I pissed on a house Oh, yeah, I pissed on a house Sometimes you got pee on a house. I did. I had no chill. I'm a badass mother I hear you pissed yourself Yeah, of course who doesn't I remember one time I would like old enough where it was like unacceptable No, not like that I've never done that. No, no I remember when I was younger
Starting point is 00:23:26 And I did yeah, I peed myself when I was like I was old I was like 12 now Due to the fact that only one bathroom in my house when someone's in the bathroom I'll usually run across the street to the park Whip it out. Are you kidding me? Yeah, why not in the dark? Are you shitting me? Why not? I gotta go Do I'm pissing the sink? No, you just hold it. No shot. Sometimes you drink a lot of water Like immediate are your pisses that you have to fucking run across the street to a park sometimes I drink it. I don't know like if you got a shit because there's nothing you could do
Starting point is 00:23:59 I wouldn't shit outside like holding in a shit is way harder than holding in a piss Yeah, I could hold in a piss for like, you know a month holding in a shit is like Help me. It's not happening. It's actually scary when I had I dude, you're telling me it's I've you know, there's been times where I'm on the train and I start to feel like oh, no I think I got a shit and that's the worst because you're on the train You it can't you can't move no and when you get out You have to navigate through the subway and get upstairs and then find somewhere to take a shit I've had to go to I've had to get off the train and go like Neptune diner. That's how bad it was
Starting point is 00:24:35 You want to know what was worse? Well as I'm sitting on the train and I'm like, yo, I'm sick. I'm gonna shit. I got a shit Somebody saw me and they knew me nice. They were having a whole conversation with me. Oh, and I was like, yeah, yeah Yeah, really? Oh my god. I gotta go. I gotta go someone's picking someone's picking me up here So you you got on the train to go one stop and you're getting picked up. Like I gotta go. We'll see you later Right into the diner. I got a shit. All right. You got a shit. Yeah Dude, I you know, it's the worst like when that happens to me. I run into it to some business And I'm like, where's your bathroom? And they're like No bathroom or like you have to buy something. I'm like, whatever. I'll fucking I'll buy a fur coat right now if I have to
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah, I don't give a fuck. There was actually one time it was hilarious I went and played basketball with my co-workers when I was working at elite daily And uh, this kid this guy was like, hey, can you drive me back? He fucking I don't know where that he lived somewhere like out of the way somewhere in Manhattan So I'm driving him and I'm like I got a shit like I got a shit bad and Then as soon as I set it out loud The universe was like, let's fuck with him
Starting point is 00:25:48 Because I hit every red light Literally, right? So I hit every red light and then there's certain blocks in Manhattan where the lights are lined up Yeah, so like once one turns green their next one will turn green and then like so like, you know It flows traffic and then your stomach starts to feel better as that's going on But when that happened, right? So we get to one of those blocks. They start all ticking to green So I'm driving and all of a sudden some fucking truck Comes out of nowhere backing out of a driveway
Starting point is 00:26:16 And has to make like eight different fucking Forward backward forward back to do it and I'm sitting there freaking out. It came to the point where I ran it. I I was out of light and there was three lanes. I was in the middle lane And I and uh, I was with these two guys who I kind of know right I work with them You know, I mean I hung out with them like twice maybe out of the office and I'm sitting there And uh, I start to realize well, this is happening because I can't I'm not gonna shit my car So I throw my car into park
Starting point is 00:26:50 I'm in the middle lane I throw my car into park put my hazards on and I turned to the my this his name was greg. I looked at him and I was like You got it. I got it. I just left my car Yeah, right and I and I was just I went to the to the sidewalk and I'm walking up and down the block And I see some fucking apartment building or something and I run in there and like no one's in there It's just like cleaning people whatever and went up to dude to the front desk And I was like, you know, you guys got a bathroom and the guy could see how fucking like
Starting point is 00:27:22 devastated I'm about to be and he goes Yeah, man, so right here and I went and when I opened the door there was a cleaning lady in the bathroom I would have like I said, I was like, you got to get the hell out And she was like, oh, oh, see poppy. There was an explosion In this bathroom Damn, it was an explosion. It felt good. All right. Oh my god. I felt like a million dollars when I it was funny because when I got out of the building
Starting point is 00:27:53 My car was still in the middle lane on the fucking with the hazards on and people are going around and should beep and like Who the fuck is his asshole? And I got in they're like, dude, what like I thought we were gonna get killed someone's getting out of the car and punch the window in I was like, dude, desperate. Why didn't they just drive all Where was he gonna go? Who's my car? They don't really know me that well You know what I mean? They were like, uh, they just fucking sat there to drive some random person's car around true Yeah, but dude, I have way too many stories where I almost shit myself or I actually do
Starting point is 00:28:25 You know, I mean and I've told that story You're a liar. That's the worst feeling in the world that and uh No, just that I couldn't think of another one. I was like, fuck it. Dude. I've been farting this entire time. I don't smell anything Yeah, well, I'm getting all of it. It's like traveling up my shirt right into my face. That's so gross. I don't like it It's not my favorite thing. That's terrible. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm imagining that this is what That strip club smells like no actually smelled good. It smelled good. It smelled good
Starting point is 00:28:58 It was just a lot of air being pumped into that room. Well, you said it smelled like std's Well, the cozy cabin did not the one that I was talking about the cozy cabin reeked of std's Right. Was it like musty in there? Like hell. Yeah, like I should probably throw a humidifier on or something Like they had canned beers. I think and I was like, I'm not drinking from this canned beers canned beers Like, you know, it wasn't in a bottle right then cans only it's just trash It's just garbage The beer tastes way better out of the bottle. Hell, yeah
Starting point is 00:29:28 off tap No I will choose bottle over anything We'll get you a yawning. You know what it is. It's that goddamn light, bro. It's it's just bringing off a scent What the hell does that mean? Look at it. It's like white. Yeah, it's like making me say, hey, anthony Let's go to sleep, baby. This light. I love this light dude. Best investment I've ever made This light is amazing. Awesome. I forgot how I found Oh that app that I keep fucking mentioning but
Starting point is 00:29:57 There's an app. Well, you don't even have to fuck the app Just go on amazon. There's I forgot what's called a smart bulb or something like that You put it in to your fucking whatever your lamp and there's an on your app. You can there's a color wheel You have that on your phone right now. Yeah, I could change it at any time It's like is there bluetooth in there or something? Yeah, that's so dope It's awesome. That's sarcasm in my face. Yeah, is it it's fucking great That all right. Well, if you customize that light, it's bothering me because when I look at it says, hey, anthony Let's go to sleep, man. Let's just go to a light is talking to you. Yo, dude. It's time
Starting point is 00:30:31 Time to sleep, dude. You need to go to bad. Look, I'll change it right now. What do you what color you want? Lime yellow. Wow, that's dope. Stop turning my eyes. Isn't it sick? Look at that. Yeah, it's no blue I like it pink The white let me see it. Wow, it's a color wheel. It's literally a color wheel. That's so cool I can't every time I mention a product. I feel like I'm doing an advertisement. I wish they would pay me I wish they would just give me free fucking light bulbs. I'll be changing shit in here all the time I do like the light bulb. No lie to you. You should buy one. I think they're like I'll put them in my fan. There you go
Starting point is 00:31:09 All right, I think we're gonna wrap this up. All right, so, you know Where can they find you if they want to contact you? um And me know the exactly how it sounds a and t v i and o at sign Before all that all that and me know for ear thing ear thing because I'm all the way up balls Everything you just said makes me sick
Starting point is 00:31:33 Dude, I don't care. All right Well, yeah, do you bro? I hope the second you step out of this room Both your ankles give out. Yeah. Well when you wake up tomorrow, this whole room will blow up. So I don't care I hope when you're driving your car It breaks down and then when you go to get out of a cyclist flies by And drives well bike into your eyes. I won't be driving anywhere tomorrow because I have work. I'm in right now It's not gonna happen. There's nobody riding their bike at this time. I hope you have to take a shit and your dad's in there taking two shits
Starting point is 00:32:07 Yeah Okay, let's go sharks Sharks. Oh now. Yeah. Now he's back to sharks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah um Anyway, that's all for this week's basement yard as always. It's been real Thanks for listening. I'm all the way up. Yeah, motherfuckers

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