The Basement Yard - The Extra Yard - Frankie Alvarez

Episode Date: March 5, 2020

The man, the myth, the legend himself, Frankie Alvarez has returned...and this time he has some questions of his own. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the extra yard. I'm Frank, and I'm here as always with my lovely guests Joe and Danny your show damn right I'm in here this got that Santa God Studios chain. I'll get damn right. I've never taken that's not sure I took it off once because I didn't want a four-year-old to snap it. That's a good reason reason That's a good reason because I would have snapped a four-year-old. I didn't know we were going chance out. Oh, here we go And a fucking I don't have a watch. I don't have anything. We'll get you some diamonds here Put this on and take that off, please. I'm not touching that because that is more than everything

I have on my body. So what? Listen to me everything on my body combined not as expensive. I'm not touching where that watch I'm not touching that watch put it on you. Oh, I'm not putting a watch on I would put a watch on if it was like a no like an MVMT which are great watches. Yeah, I would not sponsor The show great guys if I was really a loser I'd put on a g-shock Not sponsored not sponsored to the show. There you go. I'm not you remember g-shock. Hell. Yeah They were huge like they were like if you didn't have one you weren't cool. I never had one I've never had one. I knew someone that wore it though as an accessory didn't work

It just like they wore it like the time on it didn't work Looking watch I still love wearing watches that you would hit the button and then it would like light up the screen G-shocks did that. No. Yeah, they did they did that shit, but I never had one. Does that illuminate that one? No Luminating no, no you have diamonds in there. That's right. Do you really? Yeah, you have diamonds in your watch. Yeah, bro Yeah, bro, that watch is like I can't don't do it. What's that model again? You know, it's one. Yeah, don't say it. Don't fucking air around, you know, no you should have seen the morning Where's yours? Danny was asking me how much money I have or how much I've the most I've had in one time one time Dude, you're so rude. No, but what is the answer? Yeah, I

Need to be on a Monday morning meeting Frankie cares morning meeting. Yeah. Yeah, of course Say what you're gonna say cuz we're gonna fight about it. You care so much about money. I don't care about I Don't care about money. Oh You're all we're gonna get rich together. Look man. If that's what happens, I mean, you're gonna you're gonna get rich with me First of all, fuck you I'm not fucking airing this out because I know that's what you fucking saying you always say go. I'm fucking cutting your ass, dude It's the only thing I can do We're very close with other things at your ass and suck your ass

Either gonna let me cut your suck you yo, I cannot imagine someone sucking my ass. Yeah, well, yeah, not bad ass not this I think your ass is worse than mine Yo, Frank's got one of the pinkest buttholes I've ever seen in my day. What have you seen my butthole? I mean, I feel like I have I'm just like guessing. I don't know when this would I'll be honest I was really confident that I saw it and then you said that I'm like, wait, maybe is it Dude, I haven't seen my own butthole in a long time. We did it on episode of the basement You know, we went and looked at our assholes. Yeah, really in my mirror I like it's one of those things that I don't want to see I got a lot to see it

I don't want to see my own butthole, dude. I go look at it right now. No way Come on. We do it for the show. I'm having a great day Content if I go look in my butthole and come back here. You will see I will be a changed man Yeah, but maybe for the better doing this by the way, do you want me to look at it instead? No, I would never put anyone through you go into Joe's room and there's a big Big mirror and you look through your legs and pull your ass cheeks apart. We did it on the show. We did come on go It's crazy that your assholes gonna be in my bedroom air. Can if you really I don't want to do it. Don't do it I just know no no thing do

I'm having such a good day Yeah, yeah, I have to do it just take a stroll And you have to be honest about it too if there's poop in there you have to say yeah Or like pieces of toilet full-on contents very honest with you. There could be a lot of things there It comes out as like guys. There's a pair of scissors and a doctor's Like I can tell you a little tired into the medical stuff, but I can tell you I know there's something there that shouldn't be there. Oh We're talking a treasure a treasure man. No, I don't got no hammies. I don't treasure treasure trove It's a treasure trove of it's a cavalcade of secrets back. Wow. I don't even know what that means, but I'm very interested

I guess I gotta go look yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. All right No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you just go you just go and then we're gonna make predictions I'm gonna say How brown is all one to ten? Oh, we're going on color. Yeah. Yeah color. Well, just get as much information as you can Frankie just I think it's gonna be like a hint of like walnut brown definitely has a chestnut hole Yeah, his his butthole is gonna look like a chestnut. Yeah, it is like a perfectly cracked middle one It's gonna look like that end table. Yeah, like this table. Yeah

What's my agony? Is that reddish brown? I think I don't know what mahogany is. I'm not into woods So I don't know You know the only thing I know about wood is that oak burns the longest dude I'm gonna be honest with you and this is just me and you think that lamp drives me crazy Oh You saw it That's a that's a thing. Yeah, it's a is it is that what you do you just come in you do you just touch a bunch of stuff and you Bring it around and then you touch her asshole than handed to my own asshole. I figured that's an open invitation

Oh, wow touched your own you touch my ass. Okay, I would chestnut brown guess talk to us. What do we got? It's it's like how do I explain this? I would say like it's like a cherry wood red. Whoa, you might have some transitions for it like it's like a hologram ass. Yeah, like a different like angles There's little shimmers of different colors in there. It's always it's always staring at you like it's a bad place You have like a Swarovski diamond asshole. How do you say that Swarovski Swarovski? Yeah, I would how I would have said it Swarovski. I don't know. Swarovski. I think it's Swarov. That sounds like a great hockey player So you guys haven't seen each other's buttholes then no, I would never let you guys see my butt

So how long you guys know each other 24 years 24? No, probably longer. Wow 25 well that brings me to my I feel like I want to bring this out of my bosom What was that? What are you doing? I don't know. Oh There you go. Oh, so you got so I thought that was like a wet wipe. I'm like Swear to God. I thought it was like a deodorant. Have you ever put a paper towel on your gooch on a hot day? No, of course. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's awesome. I've never done that. Yeah, it's awesome. What does it do? It's a it's a man-pad. It's a man-pad. It's a man-pad. Yeah, which they need to make you guys don't bleed you just soak Yeah, so I never know what's going on with me. You never know what's going on. Do you ever take that out?

And it's just like a yellow I hope and you're like, I hope it's yellow sometimes. Yeah, there's there are other colors It could be you never know. I got you know, I got issues Yeah, you got some I got some I got some too. We're both ass brothers. Yeah, dog. Oh Okay, oh Like being ass bros. They kind of hurt bo ash bros. I'll tell you Once you go through something similar like we did that bond is never broken unbroken unbroken I would fucking die as close as we are you'll never understand what Danny and I've been through it's horrendous Yo, that was the last time I saw my butthole

When that whole ordeal how ready to die were you like like trying to I think Frankie texted me too. He's like, you know, I can't walk right now But if I could I'd go to the kitchen and end it. Yeah, you know, I I'm not gonna get into it I know I know I like there were like time. I'd like there was one night. I popped like four or five sleeping pills I was like, yeah, yeah See ya You know, my mom was like, what do you want to do? I was like, yeah, just honestly, I just wanted to I wanted it I didn't eat for a week. I didn't eat for a week either. I was hallucinating shit. I was all dehydrated. I lost

I went down like 170. Do you remember Frankie was a skinny whore a little fucking bitch? Look, I go. What is this come? Oh, these are don't read So so this is going into detail about a secret thing that no one can know it's about it's our butts I know so I was on the extra yard a couple weeks ago, which thank you guys for inviting me. Yeah You had a choice And I wanted to flip the tables. I wanted to ask you guys questions. Okay What do you mean?

If you flip a table, you're just being an asshole. Yeah, you're being a well There's it means a couple things and I wanted to ask you guys questions Okay, but I am under the assumption and we both came in with questions I don't have any questions and we didn't and we didn't do you want to alternate we could alter it But this is more than I know about you and Joey beam beam bow. Oh, so do you want to start with that? All right, here's the first one. I do want to say Joey didn't let me borrow a shirt Yeah, that did happen today. I will I didn't say no, I just asked why and you're like because I came from work What's wrong with that shirt? I just can't what is that? What's wrong with that shirt? It's just it's just a regular shirt

I don't have any spectacular shirts. Yeah, but you have nice shirt first. We're wearing a Metallica shirt I'd rather be wearing that it's black. It's slimming. It's got some okay now Now we're getting to the meat of this like yeah, look at my titties in this shirt You know what I mean like I've been working out a lot, but not enough to not have titties right right, so and and this is how I know Joey didn't say no, but he didn't say yes. He asked 40 questions. Why do you need to borrow a shirt? What's wrong with your yeah, there's nothing there's nothing worse than a Joe Santagato follow-up question Yeah, it is so emasculating Yeah, yeah, what's up? Do we do that thing? But why did I need to do it?

Trying to teach us In a roundabout way he wants us to be like to have like the realization like oh have a fucking epiphany No one has ever made me feel less intelligent than this person right now without being direct Yo, no, no, we had a talk this morning and he was very direct, but previous ones No, no, I'm not I'm not previous ones I've been like, you know this kid just gave me a life riddle that I'm gonna figure out when I'm 75 years old on a beach I'm not saying direct He's very good at being direct like yo, this is what I want

Yeah, yeah, but like in terms of like how he's making you feel he won't outright say you're a fucking idiot Yeah, he'll be like have you done what you should have done. Yeah, so like there more you could be doing so he gave me He gave me a response. You leave me leave the horse of the water. I'm drinking out of the Indian River. So he Literally this morning he gave me he gave me responsibilities When I tell you this kid looked at me like I was the dumbest person on earth. I was so emasculated. He just goes you do this This day now and I was just like Let's be honest. I was like, yes, sir. Sometimes we need that one. I need it more than anyone Sometimes we need that I need it more than anyone, but I'll tell you this there's times where I'm legitimately afraid of them

I will say this But not like I'm listening I'm not going back into the thing where it was like all like people's people's champion Danny Joe's is CEO Joe. They're sometimes where I can't decipher what he's saying Yeah, and it might be because I'm stupid. Yeah, I will I don't this is the thing with me is I've had many different jobs I've had situations where bosses have had to say like course correct me in terms of like my work that I'm yeah, of course I'll walk out of like fuck this if like if and when that time comes where Joey does that to me I'm like

Man like that hurts. Yeah, that's coming for my friend. You know, yeah, that's when it hurts the most really hurt Literally, he said he said something to me today and I just closed my eyes Because I was so he was he was right. He's getting very Let's go with these questions. Yeah, we'll talk later. We'll have an oh our own show just about Joe Joe fucking the snake. He was he was I mean he was very right, but it got it hit me so hard My heart balls were my favorite thing about this is that We can't even argue back. No, it's impossible Right. Yeah, that's the hardest part. I've never met somebody more right and then if he's wrong, he will make you right

What do you mean? I don't know maybe I am I tried really hard almost got a nosebleed don't understand that. All right, this is for both of you guys, okay? Frankie you can answer first and we'll flip flop if we not you know have to be that structure Is it like what like what like newlywed game type thing a little bit, but like there's a couple wrinkles in here, okay? This one Frankie start if you had one day left to live how much time do you think you guys would spend with each other? Like am I saying how much I would like to spend with him? No, what do you think would happen like realistically? What do you think would happen? Well, realistically, I wouldn't know it's the last day that I know you do doctors like hey, dude You're dying tomorrow. I was told I'm dying tomorrow

Your doctor's whole code You're dying brother I got holes there I would like to think that if a doctor told if dr. Hogan told me yeah that I was dying tomorrow He would like spend the whole day with me Regardless, and if I would like like more people would come and we do a bunch of things, but he would just be there I think okay, and then dr. Hogan gives you like hey Joe dude. You have one day to live brother Yeah, and then what would you do? I would I have the same answer that more people than Marrior

Yeah, so it would like everyone. I know whoever wants to like be there. Yeah, that'd be such a weird party I thought I also would just get Would you get blackout or you know what I do? You know what the Eskimos do you know what the Eskimos do? Oh, how do I don't know why I know this we might have learned this from a different like episode or some shit, but like they Just like when they get old and sick they just like walk away From the from the village like a cat and they go die dogs do yeah, and they just they just go die So it's like in a way that's honorable though in a way

It makes it a little easier in my mind because it's like if if this guy like leaves right like let's say I have no like He's gone. Yeah, but you don't know when and how and like whatever whatever the hard part is that you don't know like you didn't know They're gone, so you didn't say goodbye. Yeah, but no, no, no you you have a time you have you have a thing So picture this like the last day of your life You're like, you know alright alright cool like the party's over at three o'clock, and it's like alright guys I'll see you later, and then I just get on a boat, and I leave and you you don't know what happened So it's like we don't know what day he died or like whatever so it's like you just kind of left guessing But you just never see him again

No, but I yeah, but for if you knew though, would you want to die by yourself or like around no, I'd wanted I've already pictured how in a perfect world. I would be Idea and I promise you this is a real thought in my head that I had so I heard this mumford and song a mumford and song Great start. Yeah, good story start all good story I heard this mumford and son song, and it's called there will be time and they have this like Tribal African like thing in the background. That's like happening. So I'm like yo how fucking insane would it be to be like Surrounded by all your loved ones, and then just have this like African tribe like singing these like ritual

Things and like you're in a warm place, and then and then you're just like you just end up dying I'm pretty sure that's a serious finale to eastbound How do you expect me to respond to that you can't you can't respond to it's a ridiculous thing Would it be there or would it be in Queens? Yeah, and walk them out of the house Basically basically being passed around okay. All right. That was pretty cool I thought about like my funeral like I'd want at like my wake. I'd want to be like like I thought of three things I think I've told you guys this we're like one is like it's a closed casket, but it's on like a piston with like a timer

So every now and then the fucking door swings open in my body Just like swings up and scare someone like a Halloween like a Halloween thing or another. I'm stuffed Yeah, and I'm just like posted up like That'd be cool or I sold her clothes He's stuffed and he's praying at his own casket and another I'm stuffed Closed casket, but I'm in a jacket fucking glasses a top hat sitting in the back row They don't know I'm there and no one knows that's me and I just watch because there is always somebody out of wake That sits all the way back on those weird old colonial couches that every fucking funeral every single funeral home has yeah

Nobody talks to that guy. I want my people to sit and watch me as I'm dead in style. That's pretty cool You know, that's cool. That's cool. I don't want my funeral to be lu al-famed. Oh, you know, I roast a pig You know fire put me in a Hawaiian like a Tommy Bahama shirt and LA because I'm dying Where are these places where they like send them into the water and just like shoot a fire arrow at them with like Oh, that'd be like a Viking like a Viking thing. I want to fucking And just like game of thrones Gasoline around

Yeah, and slushie. I'd be pretty slush. Yeah, it's always that's how fire. That's how fire starts. That's harsh What on them on a pier are you coming up with never you've never seen that Frankie just wanted to use that Next one is Joe, where would you most likely want to go on vacation with Frankie? I don't care anywhere. Yeah, I would say anywhere, but if I were to know you gotta pick a place I'm gonna pick a place. I think I know where I'd like to go with you where not go London Boy, why not? You know, you go there have a have a you know spot. Have a spotted dick and drink a point The spotted dick is a food apparently is spotted dick spotted dick. Yeah, who's dick? It's like it's like food in a can That sounds like spam like spam they call it spotted dick spotted right now spotted dick

Crumpets. Yeah, spotted dick. Yeah, you are spoiling it. No, it looks like it's you wanker Spotted cunt you punker cheeky cheeky cunt. Yeah, it looks like red actually The bread isn't dick That has to be wrong. No, it looks like bread spotted. It's a it's like bread It looks like a corn muffin basically with like raisins. Oh, so it looks like I guess a spotted dick I'm very unhealthy one probably. Wow. But yeah, I'd like to go to like to like London London. What about London like? Oh, no, it's Nova City. We could go explore. I have a point, you know Fancy a fancy. I said was a wank

You can throw that fucking guy Um, I would go anywhere that you would enjoy like I think that there's like there's things that Like I think I enjoy Like I could go somewhere and be like oh we go to a club and do that whole thing, but you're not really into that That's what I'm saying. So like wherever you would be down and be excited to go like I'm down to go Yeah, I'm saying okay. Absolutely same except for like Like I don't have to go to Miami with you again. Yeah, we've got we've been Vegas to like yeah, first of all So the out out. I'm all Vegas super down. I'm out with Vegas. Joey hated Vegas last time we went

It's so bad I keep blacking out there. It's annoying. Okay. I felt so bad Would you have the flu for two weeks if it meant the other person wins $10,000? Two weeks two weeks. You have the flu and it's terrible Can we split? No, it's $10,000, but you have two weeks 14 days full on the flu. What am I sick is shit? Everything horrible the flu. What do you mean? What are your symptoms the flu like the peak flu throwing up shitting? You have that for two weeks straight, but Frankie gets 10 grand I Do it's tough. I I would I would do it for you the only reason I wouldn't though is because

No, I do it I have a very strong stomach. I don't throw up. I just know I don't typically throw up It's too long. It's too. I haven't thrown up since 2008 That's not true. Yes, it is. It's so not December 26 2008. Why would I lie about that? No, he hasn't he has it Okay, what do you like best about Joe? Definitely not his hair Fuck you I mean Don't look at me. What do I narrow it down to like a word?

One word one syllable one syllable Um Reliable he's always been reliable and consistent Couple syllables, but it's fine. It's fine reliable and same question for Frankie Frankie's a very very loyal person. I'm right. There you go. Yeah Bush Yeah I told I told him they what did I tell you about watching that damn show I told I told you need to be watching that fucking show

You gotta be what you need to see what our people went through. You need to watch the show. That's pretty good You watch Mike this show to mine you sound like no one in the show Ebony's a scrooge He's like you're pretty good Merry Christmas Yeah, come on Um, these are cute Thank you. These are really cute. If you had to change one thing about Frankie. What would it be?

bracelet damn really No, Frank that looks like you won that in like an actual Greek ward the weather somebody's fucking battle shield You made me do a wrist fuck you bracelet. This is from Columbia. It's real sterling silver Oh Yeah, what a fucking priceless mineral that is Thinking about Frankie it would be his location. Yeah, he's far. Oh, that's a pretty good Move him further away. Yeah If I can change one thing about Joey

Uh Pay me more right well, yeah And then I don't think this is a bad thing but the way that our The way that our relationship is we don't always talk about like our feelings with each other Okay, well, here we go sense though, right? Yeah, like we're not like a very like emotionally charged friendship It's not like I come to you crying like dude. I'm shit like We can we can I wish you

We can and we have but like It's not all like I wish it happened more because sometimes I want to know what you're feeling and thinking yeah, yeah But you know what it is The thing about Frankie is like he's my all He's my oldest friend So like we've gone like a very long time without talking and we're like conditioned to do that anyway Because yeah, when we were younger he'd go away for the entire summer right see him. So like we just before texting Yeah, I know internet up there. I wouldn't see him or talk to him for like four months out of the year or some shit

Yeah, you pick up where he left off though. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like one of those things So I mean just the fact that he's he doesn't like live in the neighborhood anymore like we just don't yeah Have that opportunity. Yeah, it sucks, but I'm you know, you can always come visit me Okay, this is Frankie who was the first person Joe ever kissed I mean, I'm not gonna drop names. Can I fuck? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Do you know I don't know Just give me a letter. I'll tell you if you're right. I think it's one of two people It's either the letter J No, or the letter a a yeah, all right. I knew a okay J. Jamie. No, Jackie

Jackie remember the one that grew up to be a smoke. I never kissed her Pre-k to grew up to be a smoke You're gonna keep an eye on her when we were like 16. She was the a You could say names cares. I don't remember your former neighbor. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the right answer Yeah, I don't remember her name. She was like, you know, like No, I was I don't know how old I was I was pretty young though, but I think yeah, you know my first kiss Was it someone in the Connecticut camp girlfriend, no Yeah, I did have ready what a dude's name. No, her name is Nicole. No, there was Randy

There was Randy there was Randy. I dated a fucking slipknot fan. Yeah Yeah, I'm coming over ran. She was real. She was real though. She was real. What was her name Randy? Wait, it wasn't sure for anything like random onia or some weird shit Random onia sounds like a fucking W. Yeah Random onia's gonna go run wild dude at the Civic Center this Sunday Yeah, her name is Randy with an eye Yeah, I mean If Frank grew up to become a good-looking woman, dude, you keep tabs on all these kids

First person that you Jay Jamie. Oh, so you rodeo. Yeah, dude. I mess you a better name. Yeah, there you go. Yeah I'll fix it. I'll fix it in post. I'll fix it. She knows where she is. The first girl he kissed I was in love with Yeah, and and I told him and and we we were hanging out that day and he went home and I left early and I stayed there and I like we played like spin the bottle or something like that Yeah, and it was I'm not gonna get into it, but yeah, he got upset with me Because of what had happened. Wow. She was one of those girls though that like everyone wanted no no No, that was just like in love with for some reason, but then I would never like the reason was because during like elementary school

You wouldn't pop off you guys like she was like the pinnacle athlete and she was very smart It was basically every student in the month was either him or her They were made for each other right fucking they were they were bred to love each other until until Jane came into school That's right. Yeah, so it make us look like idiots. Joey's Jane in every in every school So we only people we've known each other for 25 years. We've only been to school with each other for like six of those Yeah, why why did that happen you guys just where you live? Are we actually like forced or I feel like in every grade we've made sure that we're the same class like our parents like my mom Was the PTA like vice president or president and she like strong armed the abuse that power

So pre-k and then first through fifth grade is the only time we spent in school together formidable years Which thank God because yeah, I live in this bitch's shadow, dog Later on the question Random onia Random onia Like random onia Sunday at the Civic Center dude. All right. Um, I got so many fucking stupid stories How would you feel if tomorrow Frankie made more money than you? That'd be amazing. Ask me that question. How would you feel? I would ask me that question

All right, how would you feel if you made more money? I would say this at Frankie if Frankie tomorrow is making more money than me I'd like if you don't move back to his neighborhood. Yeah, you're dead. Yeah, I mean if I I mean I I I Try to think that I would always like it but I legit boss me when you like say like jokingly like that I only care about money because I don't but it's very clear that I like I have full-time. I have no money. You're also getting married. I'm getting married But like even outside of getting married like just none. Yeah, so like when I asked questions like oh like what's what's in this account and stuff Like that's not cuz I'm like I need to fucking money like, you know shower. We myth it. It's me with it Well, it's kind of what you said to me in the office. It's like I need it because I have nothing else

But I would like to think that I would stay humble and I like when I do have you have Scrooge moments for sure No, see, I don't I really don't think so come to me hungry and tired. No, I would just like throw my money around I would love to see I would love to see Frankie with a ton of money Oh, that's I would I would legit like I would be annoying like giving my money out to people I'd be like, yo, like you are right like you want like a thousand bucks like maybe Frankie shouldn't have a lot of money But like I also would not do that for everybody like I do like look I love love my dad But he's getting like in small increments because my dad cannot not he could not not spend money, right? I mean, like Joey, I if I had like 40 million dollars, you know, I take like two

Well, I'd give you like one one. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I would fucking bless you. We do show together. I need you around Here we go. Um, it's a lot. I Mean also that you're a good French and we do we actually talk about emotional things. I love it, right? Sometimes I worry that I'm coming off as like being like too like I'm here for you No, no, no, I never take it like that ever. I like I like being like an emotional support. Absolutely. You're very good at it Thank you so much He's very good, he's very good. I know he is. He's great All right, here we go

What is the craziest dream you've ever had about Joe? I Can't think about it. I can't think of any you guys. You guys can't know have any dreams that you remember it's childhood Dreams. No, not about each other. No, like you got have you ever fought Joe in a dream? No, okay. All right, let's get that one if you had to give a kidney to Joe But it meant that you had a 50% chance of living would you do it? Yes, and what's my what's the other one's percent? You live you you live. No, they take his kidney, but he has a 50% chance of living He's gonna die 50% 50% 50% 50 No, you you you're good forever. Wait, who's

You are Franky Franky Franky Franky Franky Franky have to give up one of my kidneys to give to you Right, you will live happily. Yes forever. I have a 50% 50% chance of right my question is How what's my chance if he doesn't give it to me am I gonna die? Oh you die? Yeah, and yeah, if Frankie was if his life was on the line, bro, it's 50-50 You also have to be a you know, you got to match up the blood No, you guys are perfect match all that shit checks out Dude a 50% chance of dying to save your friend that is the most noble thing anyone would do I would not let you do that for me. I would I would honestly I would oh no

You have to like sign off and be like, you know, like I know Franky has a shot of dying here Well, I honestly would exhaust every other option. I'd be like, let's find an old person on the way out Legitimately like for my family and friends without question. I have said like I want it like I want to die young What's the number we whoa? Yeah, I don't want to like go out like the idea of what's young though Yeah, what's you what are we talking about before all of my family and friends? All right, let's cut this Your mom your mom listen everyone chill out I just I don't do well with with death because of like permanence. It fucking freaks me out And like I like the heartbreak of having to lose someone real realistically like I want to live a long life and like have a

Family and like make it like a beautiful but like you want to be like 82, but everyone else is still alive and then go down Yeah No, well, I don't know but like the idea. I'm just saying that look I'm I'm I'm Joking 62. Okay. He's joking. I'm joking. Move forward. I don't think that was a joke For the court The heartbreak of losing my friends and family with course But you know, that's why people who live to be a hundred Ted and it's like oh man, you saw everyone die Yeah, every single person that they know die

sort of Whatever they could stay ago. It is whatever. I'm all of that point. Just leave me in the living in the woods The other question was why do I keep reopening this because you're a fidgety whore. I am a fidgety person I'm an anxious person. I get very fidgety read the fucking City of motion. Yeah, you would ask the follow-up. Hey, what can I do to make you feel more comfortable? This is over. Okay What's one thing you Frankie doesn't know about you Let it come to the light

It could be a general interest maybe something anything maybe something you did to hurt him Was something that Frankie doesn't know about you could be a characteristic something Maybe a new hobby you picked up or something. Maybe trust me. He lets everyone know what his new hobbies are Boxing running a marathon coffee. I Love how you kept throwing in this imagine There's anything. Yeah, I don't I legit don't think there's any either. Nothing. No, he doesn't know I don't know like I have stupid answers like my soul security. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, I don't think and vice versa I don't think there's anything that like I'm a pretty open book. Yeah, usually when something happens

That's like noteworthy of like remembering we talk about it Like there's probably a stuff that like I just don't that aren't like okay You have to answer this for Frankie would Frankie rather go for a ride in a hot air balloon or bungee jump? You got your answer. Yeah He probably want a bungee jump bingo. Wow. Oh say I would have said hot air balloon Cuz you would have been like whoa Frankie used to love going to this place late compounds and they would do like this bungee thing So I know that he'd like be into that same question

Joe's just getting fucking see you fucking text right now. I would say Joey would rather go in a hot air balloon. I Don't really want to do either. Yeah, he's not like I don't think you would really like flourish I flirt flirted with the idea of doing a hot air balloon, but then I learned that like can't steer him Okay. Yeah, you literally just go up and then figure out where you're going. Okay, freaky Yeah, yeah, what's the strangest thing you've ever seen Frankie eat? Um, I Don't know I know like back in the day like Frankie would probably be one of the people would be like all right We're gonna put ketchup salt pepper and a Gatorade in here mix it up and Frank. Yeah, I'll drink it. Yeah, I mean

I did do that not that specifically, but like no, yeah, I was the recipe I don't know, but I was like I was the kid that was like, you're freaky. I dare you I'd be like, all right Like I had to do it. I don't know a weird thing that he's eating though. I watched him Snort coca-cola through two straws into his nostrils a coke dog He went and they both went in there and then he was crying I also I do you remember when I used to pop the dentine ice things in my eye What oh, he also came over my house one time and did the salt and thing in his chest and he had a hole in his chest Yeah, that sucked bad that like it literally put a hole in my chest

What I was he put salt on your body and you put ice cube on top it burns it burns your skin and he did it to his stomach Right here. I mean his chest the middle of your parents must have went fucking crazy He probably just wore a big-ass Ocho Senko jersey over Remember having to hide shit from your parents like dumb shit like yeah, my brother one time little lighter for like three minutes and Put it on his arm because it leaves like a smiley face When I tell you That my father beat the ever-loving shit out of this boy

Yo He was like what is that he was like yes a burn myself. He's like how he's like oh like with a light Soon as light came out Mike's lights one. That's how that went. That was real bad. That was a rough day. That was a very stupid kid I was so dumb and then what was the question for him? Oh It was the strangest thing you ever eat him eat, but he's vanilla Joe Yeah, I mean vanilla ice cream so when he used to wipe duck sauce off of a plate with chicken Yes, this has to come to light here

Okay, tell the story. I remember as clear as day Joey always had a giant jar of duck sauce in his fridge so far over up to speed Okay, and there would be times where like you would have like leftover food the check out and you would you would Wipe you'd put duck sauce on a plate and you would take us a fork or your hand and You would wipe it through the duck sauce and eat it Is this true does that's wait was the chicken on the plate? I'm not saying your fingers and then suck the duck sauce you would wipe the chicken doesn't that isn't that how you did No, but like it was like a flat plate

And there was like a millimeter level coating of duck sauce You see how ridiculous this is now he was like you would dip Chicken into duck. He said swipe. I said I said wipe you would literally like you were wiping your asshole But your asshole was the duck sauce The paper was chicken No, that's not true It's not true. There's never been a time where dude think about this right? Yes an entire place He's not saying no, he's just saying like think about it in logical from a lot

Dude in a hundred percent happen a whole plate and I would just go out and coat the tire No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you wouldn't like apply an even layer to the whole you would put it on the plate Yeah, and it would slowly like fucking Ivan ooze its way across the okay Just like you would with any other condiment not necessarily true. What do you mean? If you put a lot of you put a lot of a condiment in one spot on a plate But you eventually you used it but also like if I give me the pen Yeah, you used to you used to be like and first of all all you Sanogados by all of them. I mean you and your brother Keith you hold the fork like this

I don't Keith does that Keith does alright. Maybe you don't anymore He's eats food like a mongolite. He eats it with a spoon with a fist. Yeah, you know this kid. He literally like this No, he does no not like that. He does this He does like a like medieval times like look at my hand the spoons out this way. He would just eat and go like that Yeah, that's so strange. But like you used to like chicken wipe across the whole plate All right, I don't know I guess I mean has has anyone told you

I mean that is a strange eating process. It's really not there a ways I like I eat it's really not though because like if you're at a steakhouse and you have that last piece of steak It's just funny because Oh, he has a fork. Yes. Oh, you said white. This is a white So that is Chicken nuggets you don't eat chicken nuggets like oh With it like there were times where he would have edible food Guys long story short, I used to dip food into sauce

Congratulations guys I'm saying Joey this is a comedy podcast But like I eat like rice with like mayonnaise and bananas to like I eat weird shit Excuse me. We'll go back to the question of the things. I don't know about Frankie Dude white rice put a layer of mayonnaise on top and slice bananas try it delicious, bro That's the most disgusting fucking thing again. I wouldn't eat that for money say that again It's a white rice mayo That is the most racially ambiguous meal. I've ever heard of it my life

Pat down the white rice already you've gone too far pat it down pat down the white Just put a thin layer of mayo on top. Yeah sliced Slice bananas. It's fucking Frankie delicious. You can explain it again. Oh, it sucks Delicious mayonnaise and rice you already lost me. No bananas and mayonnaise alone, right? What do we do listen? I'm telling you right now. I will we will try this and do a video of it It is you'll be surprised at how much better it is and you would have thought He won't eat it. I'll eat it. I'll eat it. I'll eat it. I'll eat it so that you know that I hate it That makes my stomach hurt. No, but Joey also sounds like a lot of mayonnaise. Excuse me, Joey

Dips pita bread into ketchup. Yeah, that drives me crazy. That's not absurd. It's bread with ketchup wildly absurd It's not it's pita bread with ketchup All right Okay, if you could ask Frankie anything and he has to be truthful about it, what would you ask him? Doesn't have to be serious Geez I mean I to be honest I don't think there's something that we're not like like we have no reason to lie to each other

What about like stuff from childhood that like yo, maybe you did this I did hear a dirty version of ocean card No, wait, this is a lie. I don't remember. This is I'm joking right now. No, but I brought that up He said he told me back in the day, you know the song like Yellow card ocean if I could find you now things will get better Yes, Frank. He convinced me. Well, he didn't convince me He tried to convince me that it was if I could fuck you now things will be better Who's now who's the real enemy here the person that told him or the dummy that believed it? He blinded the dummy didn't believe it. That's why we're talking about it now

So now you admit that it's fake. No, I if I'd said it If I had said it at the time, I don't remember my fucking thought process all the time when I was that old But if I had said it like there was a reason behind it. Maybe I Just like be like let's make this up. I think kids do that sometimes That this might be one of those but I don't I don't remember I can't be in court. Just take your fucking lie get out Yeah, I don't think there's anything that have you ever lied to Frankie when you guys were kids Anything that like shook the block no, okay, we've never really got have you guys ever fought each other physically? No, no Not even close. Have you ever know really?

Never like yelling at each other like that either, okay? All right, which one do you think has a better sleep schedule? I Would say me just because yeah, he gets up like I have to get up for work It's better like different times different times or the same time different times depending on the day What's the earliest you wake up for wow? Dude, I haven't been awake at four o'clock in the morning like from a good night's sleep Maybe since I don't know when we're eating fucking desert storm Maybe around then every every Wednesday, you know, I come in to work and then after we record so every Wednesday

I'm up at four and I don't get to sleep until 11 Are you streaming right? Yeah, what are you playing tonight? Nothing wait, how many hours of sleep do you usually get I would say between like five and six Do you feel like you operate better with five or six or seven or I'm better with five or six if I get eight I'm fucking exhausted. I'm done. I have the better same with like eating. I can go a whole day without eating and I'm good Yeah, yeah, I could do that too, but then like some days I come back up to these fucking titties You're pretty self-conscious about that shirt, dude, I would have gave you a shirt. I have shirts. I wish you would have Wish

Where's your body confidence? Just like these hips body well careful with that wasn't me that was Francisco. That's body confidence. That's true. It depends. I Don't think anyone's like super happy. Yeah, I could always be better. I'm like not like upset. I'm not like self-conscious In the last question is if you had to buy Frankie one gift Without asking him, what would you buy him? No, I'm saying for him to get me wait how much what kind of gift I'm saying like anything in the no No, like a thousand dollar limit. Let's do that if I could get Frankie a gift. That's really tough Because this is not like a knock on you

But like if you for the most part if Joey wants something he just gets it for himself and that's not like a bad thing But like am I wrong? No, you're not everyone has that problem Wait what like people have that problem with him like I don't know I don't I never know what to get my mom and my sister always like yo once November hits like stop Don't buy anything. Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, I but if I were to get you something like I Don't know. I think I would get yo all jokes aside. I'd get you like stock Because CEO Joe would be pumped about that. Yeah, I'm gonna eat it. Really? I would hate that. I

Would absolutely hate it. I would you have to get him a memorable gift that like didn't cost a lot of money But it just meant fucking all go to yes. Yes I'm a big fan of like things that especially because like the things that I can get are Like material things that I don't really care about anything like we did a question one time I was like if there was a fire in here, what's the one thing you would take and I was like I don't really have an attachment to anything you grab that you grab that watch brother Now I would only do that because it's like okay, I'll take the most expensive thing so that it doesn't like yeah, you know It's not heavy. It's not like you gotta lug shit around

You know plug it in but I think um yeah, so like gifts that are just like oh we got you this thing Like a like a I'd have to figure it out Like I'd get like a brick out of our elementary school or like preschool I'm like fucking make it into a powder and then get it tattooed on. Oh You know what I would do In I just thought of something huh, so is this something could get me? Yeah, so if you can get it don't say it Don't okay. Yeah, keep it a six. I don't know how to I

Don't actually even know if you would appreciate it as much as I would if I got it Speaking of I just got a reminder that a watched item on eBay is still on sale And that is a beetle Borg metallics deluxe how much is it? Transforming Robo Borg complete seven-inch figure from Bandai how much is it? I have no idea what you just said you know what it is if you saw it. It's 50 bucks. I'll buy I know what a beetle Borg is You want it? I mean Send me the link no all right now. I got some questions for you guys some of them serious Okay, some of them not so much. Okay, is this like me against Danny type of no

No, it's just I thought you guys asked me questions at last episode. All right I want to you know, you know give the reach around good. Yeah, good job So what's your most embarrassing? Aim memory from your aim days. Oh, I have to probably just my screen Here's we're not bad Joe mud Yeah, but uh mine was my full name Danny Danny low priority Danny David low priory was my name name Jesus 45 File yeah

XX soccer boy, and he's like Danny David low priory Okay, so straight face to yeah, so we're in khakis when you made that God this one's kind of bad. All right, so you don't have to say it. I don't care. It's it's old. All right, so So my buddy got really drunk one night and took a picture. Do you remember the year? Yeah, it was 2006 Okay, never forget it. Uh, it was a great year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was a junior in high school My buddy was a senior. He took a picture with our quarterbacks girlfriend, right? And in the picture, he's mad drunk, but he go he did the over-the-shoulder boulder holder So his arm was around and literally was like on her tit. Okay. Was he grabbing it? Yeah, he's grabbing it

He was grabbing it. He was grabbing. Okay. He was grabbing I get the right. I get the bright idea to print out 250 copies of this picture. Oh, no and post them all over the high school boy might not want to tell this story. Yeah, so Nobody knows that I did it they do now But so it waited like it waited a while like, you know, like I left them in like secret little areas and shit Like where people would just look at it like I left some on like the first row of the like the assembly hall That's what I don't know what the fuck that is. That's like where you go to like assemblies assemblies You go to Hogwarts the auditorium auditorium auditorium

Assembly assembly how assembly I left the pictures there. So I left them all over The next day at school. It's the talk of the school who naturally because I wrote over-the-shoulder boulder holder People are going to find out who got more points a hufflepuff or griffin. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody needs them so I was like, yo, and then like word trickled down and It came out that it was me So I left this huge aim away message being like you motherfuckers Don't know shit. I didn't do this fucking shit. I don't care that so-and-so grabbed her fucking tits I didn't print this fuck. I did I didn't print this fucking thing out. All of you could suck my dick

My mom found it. Oh boy and made me Call the girl and apologize On the phone good for your mom and made me put it on speakerphone and apologize to her mother Apologize to her damn and then and then your dad whooped the fucking piss and then my dad beat the shit out of me No, and then I had to call the quarterback who was my friend and I was like, you know You know, I was just kidding and he was cool about it But we actually ended up like kind of getting into a fight the next practice. So it wasn't really great And then another one I wrote everyone can suck my dick was another one

Just in case you're wondering who it is. Yeah, and I Wrote everybody could suck my dick and I thought I Went like, you know Yeah The word the one before that was D low Priori That's not as bad cuz I created it. I'm not not not creative. I was never lax boy 19 or some shit I never did any that that was Pete. That's literally It was Pete 27 lax

Yes, I wrote suck my dick and I was away for like four days It's a lot of dick suck. Yeah, and apparently a parent Someone's parents saw it and called my house And my mom was oh you embarrassed me slapped me and then I wasn't able to use computer for two weeks My aim one is like I Would just have mad Deep like it doesn't need to be on aim. Remember like aim associated aim adjacent. Okay. Well, there was a funny story

I'm embarrassed by and you were involved Skeet on my face xx. Oh my god We we like catfish one of our friends just was like in a thing and the screen name was skeet on my face xx. I Not gonna say who it was. I'm not gonna say who I know. I had no you don't know You know one of the people that was also associated. Oh, yeah I had not been in from the ground, but when I found out I was all in yeah I was fucking like pumped, but I think I used to have like, you know, what was that like in your profile on aim or whatever Yeah, your profile. So I saw this on some dude's like

Profile and I just completely copy and pasted it. Yeah, and it was so embarrassing because like my my brother Thomas and my sister Were like older than me. So when they would see me doing like Dumb kid shit. They'd be like the fuck are you doing right now? I'd be like I'm going to dust or like Thomas was like dude. Just fell down. Yeah, you know like it was like that kind of thing Yeah, so I put this big ass thing and you know who you could like make Pictures with symbols. Yes squiggly lines and shit. So It was just a big-ass crucifix in in my aim profile and then in the middle of it said you go miss me when I'm gone I mean, you're right

You go miss me when I'm down that was good. That's what it was There's another quick thing. I remember I had a teacher named mr. Becanon shout out mr. Becanon Very gay gentleman. We went I hope I hope he's open and now Super out of the closet. This is this is how I found out you just outed mr. B So we go to a an assembly and he comes with us and I was like, okay Right back in the auditorium right everything went down there. No, no, I'm sorry not an assembly. This was a school trip So we done intermediate or university is the university we go on a trip and we go to see this movie and And apparently his boyfriend at the time was like ran it like ran the whatever

Mm-hmm, and we come out and mr. Buchanan kisses him on the lips. Oh, I'm 13. I go mr. Buchanan I didn't know you were gay And he goes. Yeah, Danny. I'm gay Last time I ever spoke to him What does that have to do with a Just a weird conversation that I had with a grown adult gay man Alright, I feel like there's definitely weirder ones you've had No, because I didn't know I just looked at him like he was like a hey, man. I didn't know you were gay

Okay, I like that. That's good. Those are good ones. Those are really good What your screen name were Joe mud 22 lambs hot shot lambs hot shot I remember not I'm from Astoria I don't remember that was like a fucking three days that I had that and then there was another one I think I think I had something maybe at one point. Well, it was about being like a Italian Did you say your shit was like ryu? Yeah? Yeah, my first one ever was the AOL. It was a Akuma 914, okay, that's then Ryu 914. Yeah sure you can yeah sure you good All right, all right, all right next do do your best impression of the other people at this table So you do an impression of me and Danny you do an impression of Joey and me, okay, ah

And you got to be honest it who you well to tell Yo, yo, so No, this is Franky this is Franky this Franky. He's like yo, I uh, yo, so Yo, so yo, so yo, so um, yo, if you could let me know You know if we could talk to a so-and-so and figure out if I can get some money out of that I actually I don't know if I can do that, but I'll let you know and then I definitely will not let you know I'll be I'll be honest I'll be honest with you. I probably can't do it, but I'll try my best to do it Like my entire life and when I ask him about anything if I'm like, yo

Can you come like Wednesday to record this thing and he'll talk to me like I'm his fucking Co-worker like I'll see if I can attend that but I have to move some things I'm like, you know, you know, you know, listen there is something I do have a client But if I don't I'll definitely come by and then if I'm there on time then we'll then we'll film You ask the question now who do you want me to do you want to do Joe? Yeah, yo, it's just blows my mind Yo, yo, no for real like yo, it's just it's crazy to me. It's your wife nothing Yo, nothing. Oh, and I was like, yo, there's nothing you could say to me right now. That's gonna change my mind Yep, that's really good. That's really really good Joey do Danny

Just not be here Danny I'm not gonna do him because I'm not a part of this Oh, you know what Danny does he'll just sit back in his chair and he'll just be like mad shit to do by the way and he's like Yeah, you ever like Let's make you ever like see one of your friends dicks. I'm like I Would do the same thing but I'd be asleep. He would just be leaning back in his chair and he's like There's always a side zero zero urgency nothing the world could be burning. He's like, no, no problem. I got you doesn't got me

He's like, yeah, you ever see one of your friends dicks Yeah, yeah, we got shit to do Yeah, I'm just saying and then there's then there's Danny being like, yeah, absolutely. Oh, I got you like You know what it is like, you know what it is I need that I need that and like I like I appreciate you doing that and and that's the thing It's just like and then he comes out the room. He says to me. He's like He'll be like, yo, I completely And then ask me if I've ever seen like a

Person with an extra toe or something bro. We just talked about this. It's not asking weird questions. Do you have any impressions of Josh yet? Yeah, this is Josh just constantly fucking moving and just like yo, you know, it'd be dope if we like had people come in and We just paint the wallpink. Yeah Yo, you know would be hilarious if you guys went out and like sneezed So yo be crazy if we went to every supermarket around here and just bought all the cucumbers and then we filmed that to be sick Love Josh. Love Josh. Love Josh. No, not the best idea guy I love Josh man. I love how he tried to explain something today just by moving three feet thought that it would make sense He was in there. He's like

Hey, he's like, hey, yeah, no, but like it'd be cool if you filmed it like this and then this I was like Josh What are you talking about? Definitely good. Um, so please don't all right. I remember some of these are good. Some are funny. Some are serious question Legit if all right. Here's a serious one. Are you ready? Yeah, if right now if you can cry over one thing, what would it be? I could cry over one thing going on Understand the question like I got to choose something that I'm like something that would have make you cry right now What would it be? Okay? That's a different question If you could cry if there was one thing that would make me cry if you could cry over one thing right now

What would it be my taxes fair fair fair fair fair fair? I'm gonna go to jail They're coming for you Can't be late to jail. That's one thing. Yeah, what would I cry about? Please don't go to jail Where would I I don't know What would make me cry right now? Yo, honestly, what was the last time you cried? Never cries

I'll cry randomly like yeah, but you won't do it around people not purposefully. I won't do that though I just like sometimes see weak. No, that's not true at all Sometimes I just I have no issue with people seeing me cry, but I just still don't like it if that makes sense I don't mind. Yeah, I'll be holding tears back in this motherfucker sometimes. Really? Yeah, just be like, yeah, let him rip Let him rip like Joe look at me. It's like is it happening. I'm just like Like do you remember last time you cried or Specifically the last time that I cried No, but I would say it was in account within a calendar year. Oh, okay. Thanks fucking professor

All right, you'll listen like if I can do it, I'll definitely do it, but if I can't I can't you know Seriously like yo, yo, I'm sorry thought about it and they're in shape. Yeah, I'm just No, I don't know where this came from, but it's my favorite thing that does like I'm thinking and he gets Yo, I'm like like what he's like when you know when he's out here He's very upset, but the closer he gets in you're fucked. You're fucked Thanks for the answer Joe All right, would you rather live your life always feeling like you have to shit or feeling like you always have to piss Feeling like I always have to piss piss easily

Dude, I live the good amount of my life feeling I had to shit. I won't do club Dude, that's the worst I get I get like cold sweats. I start feeling like I'm gonna faint and shit I got shit like this is fun. I'd rather piss my pants. No, but if I wear black jeans, I will know I'm not saying no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not saying you have to piss you feel like it You always have to piss or piss piss because piss having the shit is more painful I can't even stand up. Yeah. Yeah, really? I have to like bend over sometimes really you ever get that cramp like pre-shit cramp No, if it's water it hurts which most of your fucking bowel movements are no, I'm good now. Oh, you're good Yeah, stop drinking milk and cheese and formed. I like that. Yeah. Yeah for a while now

Well, maybe that bang energy didn't help either Fucking kid was ripping bang energy I posted my story that I was drinking because I made a joke and I had like big into bank A um, I'm really not into bank But he gave me a case so I just had them yeah, but um, I Had a wine glass and I put bang in it and then someone sent me a message was like come on man The CEO of that company supports Trump and like I'm just drinking banged into the wine Hey, man

Trying to make a joke and you become a fucking yeah a fucking everything is political Republican All right, I got a couple more. I'll see there's any democratic energy drink creators out there Just putting out there. There is monster. It's called vodka Describe your favorite color using three adjectives Vibrant what color first of all see foam green That's so random, but okay. Well, it's a lot miss frizzy Geez frizzle frizzle. I thank you. I got I got let me and frizzle dude. I just looked at him Just like oh my god

Crazy old way to go miss frizzy. How do you not know that? He's he's got a solid 90 right now. My hands are always like this 90. I'm not scared together. Yeah I never do this. I get they go here. No, you Kind of do like a crunch like the centripetal force Are you crazy? Yeah Definitely like yo, are you serious right now? He's like yo, dude. Why why is there not a thumbnail and I'm like Fucking trouble. I'm like it's a problem. Yeah, then Danny's like, yeah, I got you. Yeah, I got you four days later

But it's a way see foam green see foam green vibrant Titillating okay, I don't even know what that means calming. Okay Uh Well, usually when people ask me this question, I say that my favorite color is black and then they go that's not a color So it's not even about I just such a CEO answer my favorite color is actually a shade of my fucking card I would love to interview Joe when he was five I'd be yeah, you know what I might add that question on the end of this keep going, okay? But I'm not gonna say that I'll say that my favorite color is probably just like

Red okay, okay, how would you describe it using three adjectives? What you said red red? I would describe it as Powerful knew that was coming this fucking free. It is powerful. Yeah, absolutely. It's the most powerful color in the color wheel powerful bright and And Come on, he just doesn't want to say verb by accident. No jump And dancing Powerful bright Jewish

No, I think red is a powerful bright and It's not that hard. Uh, just like Jubilant motivating. Okay, cool. I read something that's like the three adjectives that you used to describe your favorite color or what you really feel about yourself. Oh Powerful bright and motivating. Oh my god, you know, it's true, right? I'm titillating as fuck What is titillating? I can bring it like stimulates you. Yeah, I'm very stimulated I'm stimulating. Yeah, I like that. That's a good one. See I tricked you. Yeah Frank is so smart I don't feel powerful bright and I think I'm right. You're powerful. You're bright and you're motivating Don't give me the shit. I think I'm motivated. Don't definitely

Doesn't mean that you have like you Stalin. Yeah, you're not like When I see like in a room, it's kind of like You know, yeah, like it's not so much. Oh, it's more of a Oh If someone were we're just gonna keep going If someone were to kill your dog explain me how you would get away with killing them Oh, how or what I would do to them. I'd rip. I wouldn't get it. I pulled their tongue out through their asshole Then I rip. Yeah, I'd stick my whole arm up their asshole rip their tongue in their eyeball balls

About out food the asshole. I ripped them out through their asshole, and then I would make them eat them Well, they know they wouldn't be dead. Yeah, no, they would not be dead if you put your hand up someone's ass Let me dream. Okay. All right, then I would take all their fingernails out one at a time and shove them up their asshole Then I reached through their mouth and pull their fingernails out through their mouth, okay, and then I jerk them off I think I would just I don't think I would kill anyone, but I would beat them until I was exhausted How would you try to get away with murder, you know what I mean, but I guess You gotta kill someone with an with an icicle. Yeah, what do I kill? What do I kill them with? You tell me how you killing them. How you getting away with it? I'd kill somebody with my bare hands

I would hire someone to kill them. No, I would kill your hands. You know, I'm just trace DNA is fucking left No, it's not gonna be trace DNA. I would kill my bare hands. I'll figure it out I'd kill somebody with my bare hands in a neutral location Or in my or excellent or or in my own house because obviously my DNA is gonna be in my own house But they died in your house. No, but the biggest tail. No, they don't know that Out of the house put them in a car Driving up to west driving up to Westchester throwing them off a mountain leaving them in the Hudson fucking river So they were last time they were so with you

And you know, you're moving the goalpost here. What I'm saying is how would you get away with it? I'd fucking tie him up roll him up. Oh, it's a put him in a trunk. Okay. Yeah, I'm not killing women Sick freak I put him in a car and I would drive to Westchester late at night Go to a spot that I know of and I would throw his body off and let him stay there Okay, that's there's a million and one way you'd get caught doing that. No way. Yeah, there's no way I wouldn't I wouldn't you get them to your house. I wouldn't I wouldn't speed off I would burn a person you'd burn them. Okay. It takes a lot of heat to burn a body Dude, can we fucking just kill these people?

Right, I'll murder them in Hawaii and throw them into a volcano. How's that? Yeah? I'll drop them out of a fucking helicopters or I won't physically harm them But I'll make sure they slip and fall into a volcano. Can I have sex with them while they're alive at least first? Sure. All right. Thank you. That's all I care. Thank you now. I'll really get caught I didn't know we were interviewing with the cops. Yeah, Jesus. All right. How'd you kill someone genius? Yeah, what do you bones? What's that show? What do you house? All right, can either you guys put your own big toe in your mouth not even close

Try it you got to try it at least I'm not flexible. It's okay Both of you were kind of amazed by that. I'm I'm impressed Thank God you keep socks on it's an ugly foot so you can do it. There you go. Surprise myself. See you guys got it I'm proud of both of you. Thank you There's a billion dollars on the table and you have you have to recite 30 lines of dialogue from a movie which one are you picking for a scum a lot of movies like what? Home alone to you know 30 lines from home alone to 30 line. All right, go ahead

Anywhere Keep the change you filthy animal. That's one. That's not in home alone to it is is it in the hotel? Oh, no, but he watches the new version where he's like No, it's not it's not keep the change. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Yeah, what'd you say the pigeon lady? Which apparently he knows fucking that people talk to Columbus over here Calister yeah, Kevin at what point when he first meets her and he's like whoa He just yells in her face and then he comes over and he goes. I'm sorry He's like, you know

When I first looked at you I was kind of you were kind of scary that's three but when I've been up close you're not so bad That's five already. Okay. All right. Okay. Can you name give me five more? sideways rain upside down rain Sometimes I felt like rain was coming up from the ground I'm not a smart man, but I know He's got it all down should taste like cigarettes Good guys good good. I can do that with a lot more

But don't you call him stupid? Just filthy whore get out of here. See it's not as easy as you think no I think it is if the movie's on you could start it out of spot and then once I don't know no no no no no no no movie Okay, they just tell you do it right now forest. I'm sick I'll probably just pick like a monologue that I know I'm trying to think of the top of my head Which one I know I think you're way underestimating how to difficult this now I could probably do the one when he's like at the tree like talking to Jenna. We get it with forest gum No, I'm saying I could do it. Okay. You just said it's it's hard, but I could fucking do it. Okay. I could probably do

Some parts of sandlot also I would say it's a Joe's business So fucking busy Um, I would say I could do the mask or Aladdin That'd be easy multiple songs. Yeah, I could do Aladdin too. Actually. No, I can't yeah Frankie knows all the lyrics to those Um, but yeah, if there's a if there's a song in a movie I could do it Yeah, um, uh, that was the last question I had actually. Oh, great. Oh, wow. Those are good. You said you're gonna add something I did don't remember it. You said something if you could if you could

If you could um Like if you spoke to a version of yourself from the ages 5 10 15 what would be like a word of advice you would give them YouTube Do it sooner Instagram Yeah, right? No, if I can't give it like business advice. I'd just be like, yeah, probably like Just like a word of advice. Cool out with the beers. Cool out with the beers. Yeah Okay

Um at five I don't even know what the fuck I was doing at five to be honest. I don't know 1997 that was a good year, man Dude a future me came up to me and was like, hey, what's up? I'm you I'd be like, who the fuck is this crazy? Yo, I would love to sit down with like past and future versions of myself You know, awesome that would be you think they'll ever like I would never want to talk to my future self I would No, I would I would I'd be afraid to talk to my future. So I would definitely do it

Yo, if you could know how old you were when you died, would you want to know? No, I mean either. I don't because I used to be yes I used to be yes, but now I'm like a strong no. I'm such a hard no. Yeah I would want it like I don't know death is a weird thing with me No matter what number you get it's still not enough time in your eyes. Yeah. Yeah Unless it's like 125 Yeah, what am I a fucking old woman who smokes cigarettes and drinks wine every day in italy I can't wait till they send me to the fucking super bowl to hold up a sign of how old I am

This is the perk I get. Yeah, I get to meet joe biden I was thinking about this We won't live most likely to see the year 2100. Isn't that fucked up? No, it's not far away. I'm not a fucking turtle. Yeah, but like That's not gonna be world be 100 no around about you'll be you would be 111 and we'd be 108 108 That's not even close to being a possibility How do you know someone they're people that live to be like 115? Yeah, they're that's one per like less than a half of

And they all like living like the himalayas. Yeah, and they've been eating like fresh fucking pigs or whatever the fuck Yeah, not bang energy that's a goff. That's that might have taken off a couple months Yeah, and it's also so funny when they interview these old fucking people and they're like what's your secret? They're like, dude, I've been crushing red wine all day. Well, they're smoking cigarettes since the 20s Yeah, I think there was a woman that like lived to be like 104 and she was like, yeah I've had a doctor pepper a pepper every day for my life for the last like 70 years There's that guy that ate a big mac every day lived to be like 90 something years old But he didn't live it every day of his life but like no until that there's that one guy

I think he's still alive that he's eaten a big mac every single day Over the last like 35 years. I don't like anything that much I do I could eat the same thing every day. I can eat. I can eat pizza every day 100 100 fucking percent. Yeah What kind of pizza? No, dude, you couldn't straight up or pep. You guys can't yes, I could I could I 100 could yeah My body would hate me But I could like I would like an actual meal of pizza not just like one slice Yeah, well, what's a meal two pieces? Yeah

I could do that every day everyone have a one slice of pizza if you eat one slice of pizza First of all, you're fucking asshole. You better be 90 pounds. Yeah Yeah, no definitely, uh, two slices a day Without question easily. I think I'll get sick of anything I've ate it every day. No, not pizza, man No pizza There's one there's one crime. There's one piece of glitter in your left eye Come over here. I think that's a tear dog. No, there's glitter. Nice tear. No, you see it No, he has a he has a black spot in his eye. Where did I get the glitter from? It's not glitter

Oh, you got shot this guy you got to look the other way But then you won't be able to know the other way. I just have that way and it's in your left eye. You see that No We'll fix in post I have ugly eyes. No, you don't you're very kind welcoming eyes Do you think I have butthole eyes like Pete Davidson? No, you have like old person eyes Oh, you mean like dark hole. No, you're not really god. Some people have that though. Yeah. Yeah, he he He does have butthole eyes. How about mine? Let me see. You're No, you you're kind of butthole. You're a little butthole, but you look more tired. Yeah

Like you're not like you're you're not like yes of stuff. Am I butthole? No, no, no, I'm like a kind of dark. No, you're very clean. You're very clean. Yeah, you got white white white good eyes Yeah, you look like you look like a like a lynx cat. It was a spit all over me There was a kid in my uh middle school and he was super polish And uh, he was white as shit Man, that guy had dark eyes though. Really? Yeah, he looked like he got punched in both eyes by Mike Tyson I don't think I've ever met like real dark eyed Like white people dude dark. Really? Yeah, damn

Like the color of his eyes like no like, you know how people like eyes. They're just like darker. Yeah, yeah They were super dark and it was like obvious, yeah But that's really all I have for this episode here. What are you doing? He's staring off into His existential part of me looks at white vans. It always thinks something bad is happening in them Yeah, I get that. I never see a white van that I'm like, yeah, this is normal It's probably just a PVC pipe. Did you guys use to cyber back in the day? Yeah, so much cyber sex. Yeah, dude

You don't remember cyber sex. Was that like just texting on a a sexting on a computer like yeah Yeah, I cyber I cyber I cybered a lot Dude, I've gone into chat rooms and just like What's up cybered with like a random strange 100% that could have been a man I was like 13. Someone asked me to finger myself and I said What my p-hole like I didn't know oh my god. Did you finger your p-hole? No But they asked me to I saw a porno once where a girl stuck her finger in this guy's p-hole It wasn't that thing like kids in a sandbox or something like that. You're sticking a dildo in it. Oh

Oh, shit. We just got demonetized Yeah, well, yeah, I'm gonna cut that part. No, no, no keep it. No, I don't want people to know I don't want you guys to lose money because of me. We'll be all right. Yeah, it's all right. Please don't I don't want to get demonetized It's all right. Frankie needs every sign you can get. I'm not gonna send from this shit. No, you never know I know I know he goes. I know he goes. I know But uh Yeah

Well, thank you guys for coming on. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having us dude. Thanks for having us I really hope we can do this sometime again. Uh, joey, uh, danny Uh, let me know where lots of people know where you can find them You can find us uh Our show at the baseman yard on instagram and then you can find me at daniela priori on instagram and twitter And like if you try to find me Oh my god, yo, you guys think this is a joke. That is what he does. I do do this a lot Um, but yeah, thank you guys so much for coming on. I really appreciate it guys

Uh, every thursday We have episodes of the extra yard go check them out on youtube anywhere. You can find podcasts really And can you fucking let me do this, please? He's crushing this and honestly and honestly And then monday's baseman yard these two guys crushing it. Uh, they have a pretty cool thing going so check them out The hub that we have going on here. It's called santa gata studios check out santa gata studios for uh weekly content As well as other podcasts including other people's lives and uh And uh the stank with dan and frank movies television all that goodness. Yes, uh, I appreciate you guys

Where can they find you? Um, you feel the animal, you know At the frank alvarez guys Uh at alvarez a085 on twitter because they won't let me change it And twitch if you want to see me play video games the frank alvarez on instagram and cameo, please god almighty help me That is all we'll see you guys next time Oh You