The Basement Yard - The Extra Yard - The LoPriore Brothers

Episode Date: February 13, 2020

On this episode, we finally have Danny's brothers Jared and Mike on the show to tell insane stories and what being a LoPriore is really like...and it's insane. Pray for Joe.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the extra yard. I'm Jared. No priori and I'm Michael low priori Haha, I also feel like when I do this you guys should just have like me going like this And then it just freezes and pauses and says like my rap name and it's like a style of rapping freestyle aggressive I was like that is like every like thing Guess they have legitimized battle rap though. Yeah, they have it's like I've been watching so much of it lately I'll watch it all the time too. It's so good. I get every time it's And it just says like style and all that but it's crazy that they have like taglines that the whole crowd knows

Yeah, and it's also crazy that those guys can literally take the amount of spit from another man and each other's faces Yeah, dude, just like it's like yo you're spitting on me. It's like and I'm not even like the toughest dude It's just it's just something about like just how disrespectful they are I'd love that they dap each other up after yeah afterwards At least in a fight you're hitting each other. Fuck your mom's face off, and you're like You know, he's a little tight cuz he doesn't really make eye contact. It's more just like the quick They probably don't like to do too or it's just it's like a bad like Daniel saying it's just like they just tap It's like a battle. It's a battle to them. I want to see the green room interviews like afterwards. Yeah, you know

I Love how they'll bring up stuff like like the person didn't know about it be like let's talk about your autistic son Yeah, why dude they go So below the belt sometimes Yeah, just like dude like it's crazy cuz I mean I probably I get mad over the fact like if I someone's like Yo, your mom's walking a little bit slower than she used to like she's getting old. I probably what is Are these kids and these guys or I don't know some of them are oldish some of them are like in their 40s now because it's not like you need that much You know physical physical to battle right now. Yeah, but yes, some of them some of them will be like yo

your fucking dad fucking Ran out on you and the whole fucking family and shit. You're just gonna let that happen Fucking luck man, I'd be scrapping and I got the Battle rap is all about how big your gun is yeah. Yeah, I'll pull it out I was like, bro. If you pull out this big of a gun, you're gonna need another guy I need more that came back you got all that pulled out the max size of And then you have Don DeMarco and shit like that shit like that shit like that

Yeah, they should like that what they still do to us that they're so animated like with like their weaponry I would I would love to go to about let it poke out. Let a couple shots off. You don't even see the smoke out Don DeMarco Never seen some some lines are some lines are really fired But I've never seen people lose their shit over just words before so hard Well battling in far as hip-hop culture goes back to like I mean it was break dancing all of that like I mean I guess that's still around. I've lost that part of that culture for me where it's like you look at rap now Yeah, do you watch rap battles? I'm almost 40

So it's it's different like what I'm looking at now from when I was young I guess there's still part of that culture that's around but that shit used to be so much more fun Like what you're talking about just people spitting each other's faces It's like it's like two hours like it's like two hours though of just screaming and it's another man's face about guns about guns Terrorists like the FBI doesn't even The random blind kid that's really dope Me I put the G on Off away

Yo, you fuck is suck. Yeah. Yeah, I think about you socks You're rapping to your scene one of the funniest ones I ever one of the funniest ones I ever saw though One of the funniest ones I ever saw though Dude's dude's spitting and he's just like and he and he already knows and the other guy goes Don't fucking touch Yo, we're rapping dude And he already knows like they go back to it every time they rewind back and the and then the dude just like Flips out on him and gets in his face and I'm like and I'm just watching him

I'm like, I'm this other dude because just the aggression like seeing these guys touch each other and Say fuck it bothers me too. I'm not even there. That's how sensitive I am. I'm just like I can't watch I can't watch it like another person just touch another do the same thing I went to a fucking a rage against the machine concert. Oh, how was that? All right, it was insane. It was on Randall's Island. Yeah, so at first off. It was all hip-hop first It was like fouls P. We'll change it was site. How do you go from Cypress Hill to rage against the machine completely different? Yeah Smoking doing your thing and then like

Everybody Like just fucking like Don't ever do with the government says Whenever I shave everything just like a turtle dude look like a Puerto Rican turtle whenever I get whenever I get whenever I get rid of the Facial hair But I went to a rage against machine and I'll never fucking forget this in my life because I'd never been in a mosh pit before ever never been in a mosh pit before and We go we it goes from like Cypress Hill to whatever but we knew they were getting on they were doing like the stage adjustments

Because I mean it's a big adjustment to going stone at that point because Cypress Hill left just smoked. Oh, we smoked Yeah, a girl passed out a girl passed out in front of me and I'll never forget her just like going to the ambulance being held I'm like, yeah, this is for real. This is a concert. This is fire and it's outside I'm like damn she must have been really fucked up, but it was hot out so rage against machine machine comes on at night and And we're sitting there, bro, and I'm like, yeah, I got this I'm with and I don't think you went to it No, it was rocked the bells, right? Yeah, it was me. I got left back. What up to all my left backers And in high school and it was bunch of it was all Danny's friends

So we went to this fucking we went to this concert and it's nighttime it goes into them and they're playing the first song And I swear to God. I've never seen so many like Hispanic and black people shift with white people Dude and I remember seeing it and I'm like, oh rage whatever like white Not that they're and I'm not saying that there aren't because there are definitely there's a lot of Diverse people that like rage against machine, but I'm just telling you I saw the fucking wave of the diff the difference So I just get in there and I'll never forget everyone just mad ready to mock like they all had mosh faces on and I'm just sitting there I'm like, dude, I'm 150 and And also like I just don't want to be touched by anybody that I don't fucking know right

So we're sitting there and it's it's not even mashing. It's just gentle like gentle And I'm just sitting there I'll do this I'll do this because I Danny they know how I grew up like I'm like, you know, I'll get excited for I'll just do this. It's not something I'm used to whatever. I don't want to be touched I'll probably honestly will fight somebody and I'm not even a tough guy again I just I'm just trying to you know, enjoy it I get there and I just see this fucking like Like this no shirt on bare-chested fucking red-headed Viking dude

Dude exactly like him just just it is almost like everyone knew to just separate like you get away from him Yeah, but everyone was moving and while they were moving they were like still staring at me I feel while they're being mushed away and you just see this dude just emerge from like the darkness Final boss time I was like I'm going I literally I had to run through the crowd to get out of there And I'd still watch for age and it was amazing, but the mosh pits are just so you bailed on the mosh I bailed on the mosh dude I see mosh pits all the time and I like on you see like videos of them and you're like, yo These people are insane. It's like they line up on different sides. It's like yeah, like an old-school war when you were

Yeah, yeah, no strategy. Yeah, yeah, and I'd be the guy in the middle like trying to mediate like guys for the concert Yeah, yeah, I've worked tomorrow Yeah, and I don't know if any of them can but barely of them look like they can fight because they're throwing the funniest punches Yeah, I don't see the fight. Well, it's just like yeah, I think they it's like they're stop It's like a style or something. Yeah, there's nothing dumber. Yeah, then a mosh You want to know why it's so stupid and there are gonna be people in the comments Never really mosh, let me tell you something No, I haven't and no, I would never will guess what a bunch of white people running into each other at full speed scary not not not great

Like I'm not a good dancer. I'm just gonna headbutt and the reason it's dumb is because there's like rules to the mosh Yeah, there's like off like someone like there's no punching or like no elbows like this I'm like, dude, what is this? Oh, that's kind of white gang initiation. Oh, there's an anchor man It's like no He's like, of course imagining a dude bleeding from his nose. It's like bro. No elbows. Yeah Like in the background, it's like dude Mosh pit is probably one of the whitest things you could possibly do. Yeah, yeah, it's up. Oh, yeah easily and definitely I feel like I don't even know did it start here

I want to know like the indigenous background to like mosh I feel like it starts some in weird some weird place. I think it's just like it's got to be a metal kind of music They're like these these like kids who are like have this always pent up anger for no reason and they're just like Flail, I'd say you're gonna go in your room when your parents y'all you know, you're upstairs. Yeah That's much for that's best mosh pit. I've ever seen though and I'm gonna get Mimi here is the yo, what's up, Denny's? Do you guys see that oh my it's this video of this this rock group and they're out of Denny's legit and they're performing at a Denny's I guess Denny's gave them like a gig spot or some shit And the first thing the kid says is yo, what's up, Denny's

And everyone just starts losing their shit and like Man like a fight. They're like breaking fucking lights and shit in the grand slam And Have you ever been watching TV because we're all out in New York It's like you see like a sonic commercials like have you ever fucking seen a sign I've never seen a sign It's a joysy it's a joysy thing it's like six lanes to get into the fucking through it like a crispy cream Where the crispy cream no no no they used to have a factory that we used to rob all the time Yeah, so like there was a

So down yeah, so down the block from my mom's house It was like all these like because we like Rikers is over there and like right outside of Rikers There's a bunch of like factories for like these companies like Steinway Pianos down right because Rikers is on the water Right, it's like a mile long bridge, but like yeah, it better be yeah, it's called an island before that There's a bunch of factories and one of them was crispy cream So we oh really you so what like sneak into their gate I mean the gate was open but like we would sneak into the gate and like get onto the whatever Like there's like a platform where the trucks just drive up to and either we would run on to the trucks and take out full trays

Or I was gonna open the door and then grab a tray that was like right there How many times did you almost OD on crispy cream a lot dude? We've stolen from them bad times rehab they like move though They're not there anymore. We feel like you've been and now you've been from Queens forever, right? Yeah, I feel like that's the most queen shit to do like yeah kids stealing from fucking Trucks that are packed with foods You warm-ass crispy cream The newsies Another thing there was a bakery that was a couple blocks from my house

And one day we went up to them and we were just like harassing them through the window to give us free bread Yeah, and they did one time and it was mad warm and so good So we would show up like randomly all the time Like yo, what's good with the bread and they'd hand us bread like fucking Aladdin How many times did you hit crispy cream mad time like the fucking the thorns a heist? No, but you know like when you're a kid and like how do you think I paid for all this nice No, but I get a piano a fucking no you can't great You get a piano a nice fucking donut and you can go to jail within like a one mile

Exactly But I feel like like little riff-raffed-ass like Queens kids you guys are probably know all the back streets and shit So you know how to get out of there super quick and shit. Yeah, I mean you just How many how many people do you take on a heist? Oh my god? There was sometimes you know you're like 14 to 16 and it's like you don't really do anything You just pick a spot and you just stand around there. Yeah, you know, so at some points were like let's just like Go to crispy cream and like take donuts or whatever. So it would be like 20 Let me ask this. How would you guys communicate back then it was just like

What year is this like no, we all just mean at the park because no one had phones Yeah, we would just meet at the park and they're like are you we'll meet a portabello at like 6 30 And they're like a portabello is like this mini mall over here that portabello is the name of a pizzeria But we would just meet up there and just sit on the benches literally. I'm just thinking you guys So there's a bar dogs just like just like snapping and getting the plans down right cream Marco's gonna go in first Yeah Joe like three dudes just come out fucking box. It's like moving walking the gorillas. It's just crispy cream

Were you were you like rivaling with Brooklyn or Manhattan or anything? No, we didn't know anybody from those neighborhoods. I mean there were some kids that we like it's actually funny that you were doing this thing Because there was a time that me Keith my next-door neighbor and this other kid got into a fight with these four Indian kids that lived across the street like native American or like no like Hindu Yeah, so they lived across the street They live like so like my house the way it was it's like it's your house And there's an alleyway and then there's the other houses backyard so your backyards are like facing each other and we were in the alleyway that like no cars really drove down and we fought like

Four and four like in lines and like for each other. Yeah, I mean west side story. That's very like that's kind of firing That's how it should be like man-on-man. Yeah, cuz it was like I had the smallest kid because I was the youngest You're like yeah spots. You're like no move over. We're we were fighting in the suburbs. So it was very it was very Not like not really coordinated like that. They were dazed and confused It was just everyone just running into each other. Yeah, and just like there was that too, but but at that time Yeah, the reason I asked is because it's like growing up in Yonkers I guess Yonkers was always trying to find a place that like fit in with Brooklyn and like yeah And he grew up really different than we did

I'm really not it's it's I just I spent more time in that side of the office But it was like you would go to other places like Brooklyn or Manhattan to a party and everything And it's like, you know where I was hanging out was was a shitty neighborhood, you know people were getting killed and shit It was like the crime rate was pretty bad, but you always wanted to prove to like the burrows I was like yo come over to my house I came over one time to start I was just like yeah, I think I'm gonna go home. Yeah, I appreciate it You're like why is this building got so many holes in it. I'm like this fucking bullet hole dude. There was he was like We went I went to his apartment once and I heard

I was like, yo, he's like, oh, yeah, it's Wednesday. It's when they let the AK's off on the roof I remember we went somewhere for 4th of July too and you know 4th of July in the hood is crazy And they have people on the roofs like Well, they can't afford fireworks or like got like a ammunition they have left over for the year Like yeah from last quarter. Yeah, any ammo from last quarter. Where's our Q1 ammo one dude on one roof You see another guy in another roof and everyone's just like doing it in like I'll tell us Synchronization, yeah, I'll tell you a funny story. It's a good beautiful It's like the most beautiful thing I ever seen because I remember we went and everyone's and the cops would come through

You're like, oh, it's a wrap and then they'd be like you guys have like a few more hours because even around the neighborhood Yeah, I forgot where it was that you took me. I think it was like this He took me to somebody's house once and the guy was on crutches and I was like, oh man What happened? Did you break your ankle or something? He was like, and I was like, I was like, yeah He was like, yeah, yeah, I was like, oh what happened like you playing like basketball. He's like, no, I got shot Yo, but everybody loved every time we went there everybody Love Jeff loved him so much. I was really good at staying neutral. Yeah Yeah, you gotta be smart in any neighborhood. I could show it any crew

It was just like Jared. Oh, all he wants to do is chase tail It's like a do-it-know-I talk to me It's like I never had like a macho edge to me in the hood And that was the reason I survived because these dudes were at another level where if I had to like if you had to Try to blend in with the tougher part of it. You got to bring the I'm not built for that But I'll tell you a funny story so me and a friend of mine who I won't mention his name because he's probably still wanted for a bunch of Shit we most likely or already in prison

We were going to rooftops and we would shoot off the roof and stuff like that So he were the thing jams up on us, right? So he's like, yo, let's go back into like the vestibule of the roof to whatever to try to figure it out We're standing in a room. That's literally the size of a bathroom, right? And we're looking at each other and he's messing with this thing and bam The shit just goes off, right and in a small space like a gun. Oh, yeah, dude, literally I'm like, I'm like fucking. Yeah, I'm like Tom Hanks and Saber private Like the war doesn't matter anymore. I'm just kind of like days and walking around

And he's like and and he's going And I'm like what and finally the sound actually like here. I fucking shoot you and I'm like, I don't know Did you know he's like dude the gun literally went off between my legs? And almost fucking shot wasn't like a nine It was a 380 that he was putting nine bullets in that just didn't fit, right? It would get off a few and then it would jam up and the thing literally pulled back the carpet and there it was Between my legs stuck in the rug after that. I was just like I'm gonna shot that dick. Yo, I'm a shot that dick I'm a shot. You know, honestly like I need to think like you just shot the toilet and there was mad shit in it

Am I hit Like none of these motherfuckers are educated on how to use guns because they would go out shoot all the time and nobody would get shot I'm like I shot like 600 rounds. Yeah One dead person how I'm like you guys are fucking terrible Because they would just run around just why does this hand go up to when you start shooting? It's for balance Yeah, it's like you're on a fucking like also Also, I feel like also I feel like if you're in the hood and you hold the gun like this Someone's gonna you're either gonna get your ass kicked or someone's gonna be like, you know, this guy

Yeah, but you're gonna have yours. You're you're my hey, can you imagine these angels put it down? Somebody just like yo dog. I got this cuz This was all years years and years and years. What year was that like 93? I was 13 What you said about the When the gun went off and like a small space you can't hear there's actually one time It's really funny because I was like far away and my buddy We were like in Connecticut and he took like a can of like shaving cream or something and throw it into a fire

And then all of a sudden it's just like the first thing it just went on a can like it do not Exactly, and then just like And then you just were deaf Like that and then you can't hear anything and I see my two friends walk around they're like I bug out when it happens I bug out when that should happens during call of duty I can't imagine that happening to your brain and your Realized scary shit, man It's even scarier with that because at least with a flashbang you know what happened because like you're it also flashes in front of you

Right. This is just like you're walking around here and then all of a sudden you're deaf and you're like, yeah Yo, I think the only time I ever had anything like that remotely happened to me Not I don't know the gun situations But I think the only time I ever even shot gun was you remember when dad also used to take us to side tracking Yeah, he didn't believe me when I told him what my dad Like native American like well we're like you you can use this gun if you'd like or like, you know like they talk to you That's all the fucking come up My dad's place that we're like you shoot muzzle loaders. You don't shoot like actual guns

But you're like, bro. Yeah, as soon as you shoot it. You got to fucking give it some plumbing afterwards Yeah, fucking stick it in it and then put it back. It's like I'm sitting there dude I'm like six. I can barely even hold the thing this guy's like you got to clean it. You got to clean it Where was this in Jersey in Jersey? He brought us like this thing. It was a jamboree and it was like He's like, all right like come over here and like he was covering it and he was like shoot this musket So like I caught like an owl on my arm and shit, which is kind of cool. What? Yeah So the guy was like a guy outside shit Yeah, I walked out there and I was like catch it owl and I was like what the fuck right and I was like, okay

So yeah, so he put that big-ass glove on me. Yeah, and he just sent this owl He's like, all right. I'm gonna send her out. He's like It's sent the owl out and the owl was gone And he's like put your hand up and he put like a little piece of food on me And I was just like this and this hour just came down I was like and sat on me and I was like yo that's fire and then my and then he was like yo I got something even cooler. Yeah, the real deal to just like it's always just like he was like I got something even cooler. I just want to take it to the next level. Yeah, this dude

I got an eagle bitch. Yeah, this dude brings a fucking eagle out dude Eagles which a wingspan like Kevin Durant dude. Yeah, they're big. Yeah, huge So he was like you gotta be careful though. Yeah, well over you probably third grade Dude Didn't give a shit the dude's yelling at me like I'm a fucking civil warfighter. He's a cleaner cleaner barrel And I'm like dude, I'm not the fuck I'm supposed to do Soldier faster my dad's like laughing. He's laughing. Yeah, I'm not that's like just yeah My dad's like it's coming a man. He was like what like a monthly thing. Yeah. Yeah

Obviously it has to be like in like people would sell all into like spring People would sell guns and like hunting equipment, but they would have all these little expo's that you could do So when the fucking eagle flew on to my arm, it took my arm, right? Like your eggs like it's Sweeped down. I was like, whoa. Yeah, I was like, all right. Give her back. Give her back. I was just like, all right God damn your arm. Yeah. Yeah, you're hurting your arm. It's her Give us give him his arm back and that's when he was like you want to do something even cooler. Yep, and I was like Yeah I have a bow in 737 also you just

Come out of nowhere and you're like, that's not really Let's go shoot something. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be BB guns I was shooting BB guns before and it was a fucking musket. There's a cannon. We're like, yeah, dude That's the shit that they were they were letting kids. I mean cuz like maybe they would hold you It'd just be like, all right, I kick back a little crazy So I was just like, all right, that's fine And then I remember I shot it and the whole fucking weapon just went into the air. Yeah, yeah And it's only one load. So it's not gonna go off and hits the ground, but it was like

Yeah Did a backflip and everything I was like, this is fucking crazy I mean their old school, but they're yeah, it's one shot when I was in when I was in Vegas We went to a gun range like a few of us Yeah, and we're just like talking to the guy before and like he like tells you like, oh, you know You know, you go keep your headphones on like whatever the entire time when you're in the range. Yeah, and we're in there We have them on and like we're shooting our first gun. It's like, haha, right like a little pistol Whatever the people two rows over

To like next to us are shooting a 50 cal sniper, which I'm not even kidding like first of all the bullets are this big Yeah, they look like legs. It was like laser. It was the loudest sound ever like I felt my entire chest like it was like Yeah, and my friend was taking a picture. Yeah, and it scared him so much. They ended up taking a picture of the ceiling Yeah, yeah, because it was just that it's just like that and you're like our of a gun dude And you know, honestly, honestly, I get like we're at a gun range and like we're shooting guns having fun No one needs to shoot. I mean even now uh me and my uh me and my friend Jimmy We went up to uh, we went up to Fucking upstate somewhere like lake. I don't know where the fuck it was. It was a lake. It was there late George

It's like one of the one of those places And we just shot we shot literally on the side of the road, which you could just you can't do there But we did it anyway. It's like a Spanish problem. Yeah. Yeah. No, dude Jimmy stops the car. He goes, yo, we're just gonna shoot it right here on the side of the railroad I'm like, all right straight like let's do it So we get on the side of the road and we're doing it and I'll never forget this fucking guy comes up Uh, there's no one that really lives up in this part too where his lake house is and we get there He goes, yo, like you fellas are first off. Everyone upstate thinks that they're that they're from Texas. It's like the fun

But I love upstate New York because it's chill. It's quiet But we get up there and the dude's like Looking at us like we're sketchy because we're on the side of the road and I'm just like Well, you guys need help brown dude with a pump shotgun. Yeah Yeah, I've got sketchy. He's like you guys need help or whatever I swear to god The way that this guy was talking even though he definitely saw me like throw the first off I just like threw a shotgun back into the fucking back of a car like that's a great idea

And then I definitely saw it but this guy you could just tell He's the same guy who would have definitely got on and been like You want to try mine? You know It was that kind of situation and then like I got something you really like we got out No, he was like cool with it. He drove past and we just shot. I remember we just shot in the trees but even then like You can act like you're ready to shoot a shotgun and you're never you have to like it's gotta be like a perfect hold down It's physics. I shot my my uncle has like an insane amount of guns when we were leaving his house

He lives in Maine who's shooting a cannon into the woods because he has like all these acres or whatever It's kind of firing but my grandpa when my grandpa it was like that was we went to He's like, all right. See you guys later My grandpa though, he gets a gun and he shoots like this My grandpa fought like we're war two and shit. Yeah, he has definitely killed people. Oh, yeah So he's just absolutely fucked up war two. You killed someone. You killed someone. It was the first thing it's like Dude's down it like lit a cigarette off their head. We're all like we're like setting up like little targets And we're all like shooting or whatever just like normally my grandpa gets up there

Just from the side He's blowing people. Yo, he's hitting all the targets from like Yeah He's just like fucking Our Our grandfather was actually the first time I saw a gun My mother's father just passed away recently. Holy shade He uh, yeah, he used to keep guns in the house all the time

But he they lived in a shady area in the Bronx And he uh, and I guess he was known for having money because of the business that he was in and they had a couple break-ins But uh, you would go into his house and there'd be like a 38 just like there'd be like a bunch of like WrestleMania recorded like VHS's like perfectly just in order serial like whatever year was you just have to slide the 38 over A big like collection of like yellow chicklet gum remember the yellow Right, of course you did you'd eat like six pieces of it. How's that? How about that? I was a guy with a fucking piece and eating gum It has no flavor Yeah, he had like a third I remember one time like he had rifles he had he had everything you also had a dog named bullet

Yeah, he did who was crazy It was in a keto. Yeah. Oh those things are fucking me They're only loyal to one person and they only give a fuck about one person everybody else is just fucking Shredded me and I know I know his dad got arrested. So but uh, he would talk very funny Like his english was funny. He would call bullet bullet bullet He'd be like oh shit. It's bullet like bullet bullet bullet bullet bullet this dog was literally like the sandlot dog You know like we would look through a hole and you just like And like

But He loved my grandfather so much. He's just such a really really loyal dog. Yeah, but yeah, dog escaped From never saw it again. By the way, so he definitely got shot somewhere in the Bronx uncle. He chewed up, uh, Dude, yeah, island dog in the driveway attacked him Like dude got out. I told I remember I remember dude I remember being young I remember being younger and being like this dog Just ran out got out somehow attack like three people before it bounced. Yeah, because just why not and

I remember being young and being like that dog's dead somebody shot a cop or someone that dog must have just been going around Attack that or Organized crime. I don't know. I don't know what it is about me anytime somebody there's like a lost dog I'm always inclined to like take it home What do you mean like and not return it? No, no, no and like return it Yeah, like if I could get my hands on the dog like I'll bring it home and like return it But do you go out like looking for it? Yeah, and that's how I got this sweatshirt. What's good? Missing alpaca

Wait, so you like have you actually ever like I don't think I've ever saved like a slum village dog In a couple times there was a dog named timber that got out It was a big-ass husky and it was running around. Oh, shit, and it ran at me. So I was right You're gonna chop them down a little bit. Yeah Me I'm punching with the edge of my head. Yeah, so I was like, yo, I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna fuck. I had to kick this dog. All right So it ran up to me and then near the dog and it immediately stopped. Yeah, so I was like, okay So like now we're feeling each other out. Yeah, and in my head. I'm like don't let them see your fear

Right for some reason They're like dogs can sense it which I think is such bullshit, but sorry. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, you did he tell you that? Yeah, this dog I personally bite people that look like pussies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah only bite fucking soft bitches So I was like, okay, so like we're feeling each other out And I don't want to move and he doesn't want to move so we're not giving up any ground here Yeah, so in my head I'm saying don't show fear So I just started laughing right like smiling like hey like

Like what's up, man? tail starts wagging I bring them upstairs and uh For a split second. I was like, I'm gonna keep this dog. Yeah for a split second. Well, yeah I went from really scary to you inviting him into the house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so we're good. Yeah, I got like crispy creams It's just I got warm bread that I also got for free if you need it That's like a that's like a thing though, too

I feel like if you find like a fucking innocent ass creature There's something inside you that's just like, yo, this is a fucking like the most thing's gonna be rabid in like two weeks If I can save it or do and you realize you've saved the bundle by finding a dog Well, I mean has it shots already probably hasn't got a collar. You're like this dog's been fucking ready to go The way that people train their dogs the way that people train some of their dogs are just insane I remember one time I was like out on Long Island. I was driving around and I just see a black dog like walking by itself and I'm like Is this dog like Like it's like all the houses I get their doors doors closing shit

And I'm like I'm gonna pull up on this dog and like put it in the car because like it's fucking walking around It's gonna hit by a car just like a creep just lying around I like open my door. Yeah, basically and I open my door and then some guys simultaneously just opens this front door And he's like, okay The dog just ran right back. Yeah, I was gonna say I bet you that motherfucker knows the exact crack to stack Stop at in the street if he's if he's that train because some some owners are really good or they get him trained But I see dogs that will they'll stay by your leg Like I saw the celebrity dog trainer. It wasn't uh, it wasn't a celebrity dog train. It wasn't it wasn't uh, what's his name?

Which I dominated I heard he got some shit because he does like these quick like back kicks. You can't see Yeah, he goes Like my friends like no, he doesn't like he doesn't abuse them or whatever And I know some people say but he does like some crazy shit that you can't even see like in the middle of talking Like Walter the owner right and the dogs just like he just like knows like obedient pressure Yeah, and the dogs is like, oh, yo, chill. I'll have a conversation with you while he does it It's like the problem with your dog is you have to make sure He's listening to the dog

Yeah I didn't know until they showed like fucking to like not tutorial videos But they showed like slow-mo videos on youtube and it's like some guy who has a who has a shitty mic He's like, this is this is exactly why cesar moran is not fit to take care of pets And it just shows slow-mo and it's like a compilation of his He's like doing it and I just saw the video. I'm like, I don't see the harm in it. He's like All right, no, let's slow the video down and let you see what cesar's are actually doing while this is happening Dude he does it so fast

Whatever's like a magician dog beater David Blaine a beating dog but he gets it. I'm sorry. He gets it done and I'm that dog doesn't look too traumatized to me I'm gonna be honest. Maybe it is. I don't know what's going on in the dog's brain But I analyze it. I'm not if people know the difference. Maybe they know more than me But I have a fuck. Do you really know I know that there are some behavioral things that a dog can do But those dogs some of them look like they're just top tier class Taking care of fucking trained dogs

But like that's it's it's crazy though because I like how like he'll slap one And I'll cut immediately to the owner and the owner's face just looking down at the dog like Yeah, she's like I told you Yeah, I told you cesar. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you up But it's usually the ones that don't want you going for their food that I think are the scariest dogs The ones that are just like they do that. She would they look to the side like My dog isn't aggressive at all But like when it comes to Charlie so chill when it comes to like bones though

For whatever reason it's like innate in them that like bones and like if they have a bone in their mouth And you try to take it from them. They do that. Yeah, they do that And I'm like damn is this motherfucker gonna bite me and then I I get mad because I'm like now I want to kind of pull this but I don't want to get bit But I know I'm gonna punch the sky the thing. Yeah, exactly Tino just grabbed you and you ran through the backyard, right? Oh my god So I'm gonna get into that before I get into that

I just want to say how funny is it that we give dogs things And then we try to whatever move it away and they must be so confused They're trying to because we're trying to prove that we're like we still run the show, but we realize Yeah, yeah, like it's I mean if you give a dog a bone like Let it be what do you want it back for? Yeah, I mean, what do you need it for? Yeah, in most cases I think a dog that responds like that So you it's probably one you want to straighten out because it's probably not just gonna be the end. Yeah It's such a crazy crazy

You're gonna go to grab a beer one day. Let me give you a story about another dog that loved one person I think loved other people too, but was just very dominant over his territory This is a rottweiler that we got. I remember the day I my dad was like I'm coming home from school. My dad picks me up like third grade. I remember because this is our first dog Really for you. Yeah. Yeah for us. Yeah My dad's like happy valentine's day and I'm like, you know, I'm like, what the fuck Yeah, you say that to your son. He's like, you know dad Gross dude

No, so we're out we're in the car and my dad goes here you go He gives me a card and he shows the puppy. It's like a picture. They took of the dog Like really really like, you know, and I'm sitting there. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I was like, we got a dog and my dad's like, he's at home puppy, dude Yeah, adorable We grew up with this dog and then like and rottweilers I mean most like a lot of dogs are really cute when they're small, but this dog was adorable So we get the dog

No one in my whole life chillest dog ever as we got older We knew as he was getting older like he was an aggressive dog. He was a protective dog But we knew he wouldn't fuck with my dad or Jared Growing up and we moved to jersey at the time So we weren't really there all the fucking time like we just weren't and I and I don't know if he knew He definitely knew us or new sense, but I'll never forget one day So we had next door neighbors. They were little fucking assholes and they used to throw rocks One of their names was gizmo. Yeah

That'll give you that'll give you an idea who these pictures are 100 rocks at our fucking dog all time So there was this one kid named freddy who had more rows of teeth than a shark This kid's mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah crazy. Yeah, this kid had 738 teeth and I was like dude how many times were you abated? What is going on with your mouth food so much faster than anybody. Yeah whole sandwiches Yeah, and they always and they always just smelled like beans when they came out Smell everything outside when they did but we used to stay over there and like And it wasn't even because they just they smelled like we're Hispanic too

So he came down also freddy beat my ass one day, too I'll never forget that a lot of that uh, I don't know what they saw at home So he was a little bit more trained. Yeah, he got me on the ground like it was mna. I'll never forget When I was younger, I was like what the fuck this guy's got like full mount on me and shit And we had a full mouth too. I would have lost too. They were all anybody with 700 teeth is gonna beat me in a Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was definitely just like opening the top of cans with his fucking mouth and just drinking a ripped can This oh my god his teeth were crazy So this dog was already has pent up energy against humans. I think

Right, so I'm going in the back of the house not only humans, but just little just piss just yeah because they were all spanish You guys are spanish. Yeah, so he was like I get one of my I get my hands on one of these motherfuckers So I don't care who I'm not asking for I go in the back One of these spanish motherfuckers to fall into the yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and once I get But I got a fucking it's fucking it's like winter outside. It's so fucking cold I'll never forget because I thought I was gonna die. That's why I'm not forgetting it Uh, and I get there and I'm like, what's up, you know, like mad chill

Literally not even like a size me down. I'm like, yo He starts grabbing my arm Grabbing my arm, dude I've never felt the strength of a dog's fucking head like that in my life He was yanking my shit like out of my socket And I'll never forget like I just got to protect my face But this dog's ripping my arm and I'm just like I'm right. I'm right behind him, too You know when you add like, you know, like I remember growing up all the time. He was younger

I was like, I'm calling my dad dad. I'm not calling this man daddy like ever. Yeah, and like I'm growing I'm in the backyard. I'm just like daddy I tried to get yanking me dude And I just Bro right through my fucking Thick ass winter jacket because my mom used to get the I don't know. My mom used to get us a cheap ass big ass jacket that looked like they were official

But they were like it's like not doing shit for you. It took us took us nine months to get it too. Mom love layaway She's like, you know, I got her something like three years ago. Yeah, you just be in the store Yeah, you're like, mom this is fucking this is fucking fooboo I don't I should pick it up for you in the summer and you'd be so excited to get Because I tried I tried to get tino off of him, but I kicked him like it was like Dude my things whipping me even when my dad comes outside my dad goes stop it Stop it like clapping and then all of a sudden like the little we once my dad just said clapping I'm just letting you know like the path. I can't imagine seeing your son being shredded and the and the amount of like

Adrenaline it just was going through my dad Like I was telling you I before you know when little kids get so mad their head shakes. Yeah I was like my dad He was just like it like I saw the blood go to his face and then pushed down into his legs Went super saying dad right into the fucking dog and I'll never forget the dog Letting go of like my jacket and just hearing like And just like being like this like one kick from my dad and just walking away and they took off my jacket and he shredded My arms shredded my arm and I don't think jar was home at the time

So fucking this poor kid comes home and everyone's like What are you doing with this dog and shit and jar's like Frankenstein and jar's like tied up and like pitchforks and shit Yeah, probably so so high too And the worst thing with jar's probably seeing me just like Like with like with like tears that I saved up just for him to see like an hour later like still on my face and jar's just like How's this my fault? I didn't fucking know who's gonna be like it, but anyway Brown kids next door, but I still love dogs. Yeah, still love dogs till this fucking day

I got I got mulled by a dog once when I was like mad young I got big one big guy You did huge dog. He didn't he didn't bite me, but I I was walking into a deli with my mom and he was He was tied up He was tied up and he broke the chain that he was on and then jumped on me like knock me to the ground But he didn't bite me. Oh, but he didn't bite. Yeah, his owner like ripped him like right away But he knocked my ass down. Yeah, I was playing with his dog's ears that we had Oh my god, well, we used to like why do we always have so many? Were we fostering on mom mom mom We had so many weird ones. I thought he actually I really do but mom would get dogs for four months get bored of them

mom Like three months left before he's given in my house. Yeah Mom mom treated dogs the way like guys that don't want to commit to relationships treatment I really want this girl man. She's great and then like two months later. He's like we're having like a fucked up She like get us in a room. She goes we have to get rid of this one Keeps pissing all over the couch, man. I had to get rid of you like who the dog. I'm like, no, I'm in the chick She's paying on my shit. She's an impulsive dog buyer. Yeah, and it would also be like everyone's situation, especially our sister Kathy My mom

Has never walked a dog once in her life. Right. I've never seen my mother take a leash. She just started walking this dog Yeah, thank god, but she can't even walk but the thing's a powerhouse. No, no, no, no 90 pounds when we had like Frito, which was a doxon, right? York, you can walk a Yorkie. Yeah, you can get you don't even have to you could just let it Hold it in your hands. Yeah Just piss you wouldn't even you wouldn't even notice Walk it like this on your on the leash You're fucking pinky if you I don't remember just being like mom would be like you're like, oh, like go take bestie out

And I just be like no and this is my thinking as a 12 year old And she would go like why I go because it's gay. Yeah It's a york got a bow in its hair mom. Yeah, I was like, I'm not walking this dog. It's gay I'm not walking that was that and then for some reason I never had to walk the dog I always got she agreed with she always got small dogs until this day We still think that my sister accidentally slept on one and killed it by accident Because it woke up the next morning. We're dead from the Sopranos, but my sister swears that she woke up and it was dead, but Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Yeah. Backtrack. You guys killed the dog. I had no part in it. I'm no accomplice

I woke up to the dead dog. Hey, I believe I said one person killed this one. Yeah, yeah I'm not gonna be dragged into this a part of me from that moment on like Kathy will laugh too because we make a joke. I'm pretty sure the dog the dog was dead. Yeah Me and Kathy shared a glance And I felt like I was next right. So I was just like she was like, you know too much Yeah, yeah, so I was just like you son of a bitch. Did you say anything? Yeah, Kathy was just Kathy was just like, yeah, I'll sleep on you I'm a dog. Kathy was just like, I woke up. I found her like this. Yeah, dude. No, she was

I was like, yeah, me too. It's very sad, dude. I remember what she said, dude. Right. No, I remember, I remember we were all very sad, but I will never forget going in there. I'm like, yo I think she slept on this dog, you know, like I didn't say that at all out, but I'm like looking at everyone. I'm like I don't know why I think Kathy might accidentally get murdered this dog by accident. Fiercey theories were flying in a little pre-order house. Yeah, for sure. Dude, it was like JFK in there all the time. We're like, no, she's gonna be like the Irishman when she's in like the old age home. She's like, I know how the dog died. Fucking knew it. She's like, yeah, let's make a Netflix movie. She's gonna fade away before she says anything. Intervenous is rocking. She's gonna, she's gonna score Stacey. Okay, we're gonna make another one.

She's just gonna say I did it and then fade away and no one's actually gonna know what she meant by that. I'm sorry. It was a nightmare. It wasn't my fault. Kathy's the best cause we can always. Yeah, she's got a good sense of doing that best. You killed our dog. She's gonna love that. You killed our dog. How many of, like at its peak, how many were living in one house? All of us. At the peak, I would say when we were seven people with with parents. Oh with with the occasional random weirdo that my parents my parents were also like involved in the church a lot at one point and they were just so nice and they would have random people.

Right and and I eight or nine and I also started having kids when I was like in freshman and high school. Yeah, we would have nine people on there. It'd be baby mamas and yeah, and then you gotta remember like my fucking my fucking nine people. My cousins would come over and a lot. We lived in a family house. It was a beehive. But then like John and Daniel and Christian and all of our cousins would stay over too. So it was always like we were always just getting into like, I mean like most fucking kids do. We were just always getting into crazy fucking shit. Yeah, bro. We went in the backyard one time and my grandpa would buy everything in bulk. Like he would like he would buy bricks in bulk for no reason. Pile. Load of our grandparents. Yeah, just like just hardwares. I had 80 cans of beans that were on sale.

Like door hinges. He's like, yeah, I got a real good deal. Door hinges. But that's exactly what it was. That's exactly what it was. How many doors do we have? He came home. Just add hinges to everything. Just like cans of beer. This guy came home one day with watches that don't work. Yeah, never saw a watch battery in his life. Never. Came home one day. A shit you not 70 pairs of wrestling shoes. Rest A6. Fire shit. They could have been wrestling shoes. They could have been Daytona 500 shoes. Yeah, but they would go to like your kneecaps. And I was like, I'm going to become the welterweight champion of the world. Yeah. And Michael Jackson's uh, uh, Leathers.

What about what about you? How many how many in your house? Six of us and then that's a lot. It was and then a dog. But like it wasn't it was a one bathroom too. Oh, that's the yeah, we had one bathroom. Dude. Also me and sure of everyone's shit. Me and me and no 1145 had two bathrooms. No, no, no. After that, I'll talk about 58 main. But when we had both, not 58. Oh, yeah. The Anne Frank room, the little, the small room. I was just throwing out mattress. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, that was it. I don't live in any of these places anymore. 58 main was a fuckhouse dude.

Straight up and down, dude. I remember everyone was fucking dude. Fucking it was, it was like a parent's living next door, bro. This dude walked my grandma, this dude walked my grandma up just face fucking somebody. No, I was doing her backshots. Not my grandma. I was giving this other girl backshots. My fucking grandma. Let's just get that right. It's not a boiler room. Bro, she's a nice girl. I took this girl home. I took this girl home. I was hammered. I'll never forget the first thing she said to me when we got here. She goes, can you make me test? And I was just like, I was like, I was like,

we're gonna have sex after I make you toast. And she goes, I just want to do it. I was like dry with your mouth. First off, we didn't even have a toast, a toaster oven. I had to do it in a pan. Like it was fucking 1936. So I'm fucking like, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, great depression. And I did it with like my hands. I was like, pushing it down with my ass over here. So horny. So I go down, I go down and you know, when like, you know, when like girls are super happy when they go, they want, they're eating her toes are like going back and forth like she's on the phone and shit.

And she's eating toast and she's hammered and she's fucking hammered. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, are we, are we good? And she goes, let's do this. And she's got like fucking crows, like black crust in her mouth. And we're like sitting there. I'm fucking and I'm like, I'm there. I'm like, okay, well, can I, can we give me some head first? Cause it's a little gross. You got crust all over your fucking face. Let's suck the toast. So we're sitting there. So I'm sitting there. We're in the picture. We're in his room, by the way. I don't know if you knew that now you did.

Obviously. But we're in. Where else are you going to be? Well, this is the first time. So we're in your room. So she's like, whatever. She's giving me head and like, it's amazing. And yeah, I'm getting the old squaggla and like, I'm sitting, I'm laying down and she stops and she goes over near the window. Like a, like, like someone getting ready to like, you know, after they just got done writing a fucking poem or something. She's like sitting at the window. She's looking outside and I'm like, are you all right? Why are you so stoic and shit? And she's sitting right there and she goes,

yeah, I'm good. Like I'm good. Like this and our windows open at the time. Remember we had like the dumpster? Yeah. That was outside because we were they were redoing my uncle's apartment. So I'll bring that up to or you guys bring that up to that story. So so she's looking outside. I'm like, what the fuck is this girl doing? So I'm like, you want to keep giving me head? I'm like trying to stroke myself. I'm still good. And I'm like, yo, this is the thickest spit. I've ever felt all over my my gooch. So I'm fucking, so I'm fucking, I turn on the light

because I'm like, this is weird. And I just see fucking molded up toast all over my dongus in my pube hairs, everything. And the only thing I can think of saying to her is we're going upstairs. You're going to clean it and we're going to have sex. We're going to finish this in my shower. It doesn't, it gets better. We go upstairs. She cleans it. I start giving her the most aggressive. You just threw up on my Wang back shots in my life in the back of the shower. It's six and seven in the morning. And I'm like, I did my job. She's like, that was amazing. I'm sorry about the throw up. And I'm like, it's cool. We go back downstairs into Jared's room. I didn't get

thrown up on the bed, by the way. We go downstairs. We go downstairs. All I hear is and I'm like, who the fuck? I was like, oh my God, this has got to be this is a family member. She's laying in the bed like half almost gone. My mom opens the door. And the only thing she says is, are you with somebody? And I'm like, yes. And she goes, get rid of her and come upstairs. And my mom, not like my ex-girlfriend or anything. So I fucking, I'm like, okay. And I'm like, she literally had like money. She goes, give her money to go and get her out of here. I need to talk to you. So I'm like, fuck. So I look at the girl. I'm like, you got to go home. And she's like, just like, you know what I mean? Like, send her home. Can I have a toast with

her? Send her home, go upstairs. I will never forget the way that my mom turned around when I entered the apartment upstairs because we were in the apartment next door, which was Jarrett's. Not his anymore. It was ours, but we were staying there too because my parents own the building, so we own apartments. So I'll never come in and my mom just turns around, like in the dark and just looks at me like this with tears down her eyes. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm like, somebody dying stuff. She goes, Michael, we heard you having aggressive sex next door. She goes, not only that, your grandmother's here and she heard it too. My grandmother was visiting from Puerto Rico. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. The neighbor upstairs had to turn on her radio

because she heard me spanking. She goes, she goes, we heard you spanking her, Michael. We heard you spanking. Until this day, my dad never said anything. I'm just seeing my dad like talking to my mom, like to discuss and go talk to him. I flicked my dad and was just like, yes. We're going to go like, dad of boys. Your dad was like, you know, that's fucked up. We really got to talk to him. Spit on her. Spit on her. Anyway, that's the, that's that story. Sorry. I'm sorry. That was a long scene. I remember one time, uh, first of all, my mom was like, that's fucked up. My grandmother. Damn, that's, uh, you know what grandmother's doing? They just say, are you hungry? I gotta talk to you later. Yeah. You want some breakfast? Are you hungry? Just like cooking for

you. And I haven't had toast since. No, dude, that was every time I see toast. So even on my stream, everyone just calls me toast, like we'll call me toast dick. Like when I'm starting, oh, toasty dick. Now, one time, uh, it was mom came in there, um, and I was with somebody in the bed. Yeah. And I was, I was sleeping and she was like, Danny, she's like duty. So stealth duty. Get up. So I was like, yo, immediately I was like, yo, there's a family emergency or whatever. So I have a fucking boner. Right. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like just a natural. I always have a boner, but I have a boner at that time and I don't have burned. I don't have any, I don't have any clothes on. Yeah. And mom's like, get up. I need to talk to you. Tell your story. Tell your friend

you'll be right back. Yeah. And I was like, mom, I'm naked. And she was like, put some, I was like, and then I had to tell her, I was like, mom, yeah, I can't get out of bed right now. Can you give me a second? I'll come in there. Right. Yeah. And she was like, mom, get out. And then she gets out. I go in the other room. She goes, I just need you to know this is disrespectful to your father, to me. I don't like women in this house. Yeah. First of all, I'm 15. Right. There's no women here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Another 15 year old person. Yeah. Let's be clear. She just like, obviously at night and like, you know, whatever the hell, like, and I remember just being like, mom, like, I understand, like, that's cool. But like, you know, like, that's why we have that room.

You know, she was like, we're like, did you even think about what her parents would think if she was in bed with you? And I just looked at her and just went, nope. I did. And that's actually what got me whole fired up, to be honest, because I hate her mom. I said, yeah, remember your white Jewish daughter? Yeah, having a problem. I'll see. One Epstein's run. I'll see. I'll see. I put a condom and a yamacan. Did you ever call my mom and dad? I didn't call fucking by your parents. No, you know, you never did either. There was one time that like my mom like found something and she was like, what is this? And I was like, what? I don't know. And then she just kept pushing. And my parents never talked to me

about sex. The only time ever my dad said one comment to me, he goes, commenter. No, he just comes up to me and he goes, not in her face. He goes, he goes, Joe, this is all, this is, by the way, and the topic of sex is not even, it's whatever. Like picture, like watching football on Sunday, he comes up to me and he goes, you could be red, you could be blue, you could be yellow, you could be whatever you want. Okay. And then he walked away. Is he asking you if you're gay? No. What does that mean? What does that mean? You're talking about condoms. Oh, yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? So I felt like Nicholas Cage. And I was like, I have to like decipher. Go steal the constitution to figure this fucking puzzle. So I was like, dad, what are you talking

about? And then he's like, yeah, it's a fucking clue. But I had to ask him, I'll be like, yeah, what are you talking about? He's like, just use protection. I was like, okay. And by that time, I was like 20. I was like, dad, what are you doing? Oh, really? Is that like the first time your dad really was it like 20? I feel like my dad, my parents never talked to me about sex ever. And my dad waited until whatever to make that comment. And that was the only comment. It's gotta be a weird thing thinking about your kids just pounding. You know what I mean? Yeah. If I'm a boy, I'm like, I'm like, dude, good for you. I'm like, awesome. I think I had a different past though, because I had already like I went to the next step. Yeah, you were banging raw dog early in the game. I just had

a kid. Children. You had a child. I remember my dad being like, well, I can't tell this motherfucker what to do anymore. Yeah, because we were just two dads then. I mean, obviously, I was still a kid that came so hard. Dude, forget it. I thought I was so good at sex at 16, just fucking best 30 seconds of your day, bitch. It's about to go down. That's one of the craziest things. She's like, do you think I'm going to get pregnant? I'm like, no way. This is a weird question. She's like, where's the cum? And I'm like, I don't know. You told me. Maybe because I'm 15, it only comes out as air. It felt amazing. And she's like, wait, what's this? I'm like, that's a baby. You just do like the magician thing. You're like, it's gone. She's like, I saw it in your other hand. I'm like,

no, no, no, no, no, no. Look here. I can't imagine though, because how old are you when you found out? I was 16. I was playing ball. I was in Canada. How old are you? How old are you? You lost your virginity? 14. 14. Yeah. So two years into your career. I think you guys are both way earlier than I was 13. Yeah. And it was definitely one of those situations where I was just underneath. She's getting destroyed. Yeah, she's like, shut up. She's just choking me up. You're a bitch. I'm like, I'm killing you, shit, right? I'm killing you, shit. She's like, fucking virgin pussy. Yeah. I had my glasses on. I was just getting fucking destroyed by this, too. She's just weighing like 90 pounds. Dude, we were on a trampoline.

Yeah, we were on a trampoline. You lost your virginity on a trampoline? On a trampoline. What? We all lost it. Where'd you lose your virginity? You got a girl pregnant while defying gravity? That's crazy. I got a girl trying to run into her fucking house. You might have been weighed like 90 pounds at the time, but you definitely came at your 200 pounds. The craziest part about it is like when, you know, when my first daughter's mother, that's for some real spanish shit when you say baby mama number one. Dude, but on a trampoline, my first daughter's mom on a trampoline. I feel like that's how they teach you how to have sex in like a space station in like NASA. But you would think that it was good for that. I mean, you want something that's

got like some stability on it. I mean, that sounds fun. I'm like, well, I couldn't really feel it. I'm like, yeah, because every time you drive into me, I was like getting like pushed down. My ass is touching the grass. Like I was trying to catch it like on the upstroke. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking of both of you guys going in the air, humping while you're in the air, coming in the air. This is like a third person that's running and every so often doing like a cannonball try to send you guys higher. Yeah. I think we get up more. I never got caught. I had Michael come in one time while I was having sex and a girl was riding. By the way, not to interrupt you, but I was 16, I think. Not to interrupt you, but I'm going to interrupt you.

I was 16 and it was in the, where it all happened in the apartment. Oh, I was going to say maybe we all had sex at like recreational places. Mine was in a tube. No, I was, I was, it was just, it was in a normal bed. Like action park. It was very normal. Very none like. Did you say a tube? When a nun, when a nun throws down her, her garbs and says, I'm not a nun anymore. It was very much like that. Like in a weird old room with wood. Wait, you fucked a nun? No, that would be sick though. I would bust a nun. Load your story. It was with me. I came. Michael like came into the room, just shit-faced and I was in the middle. We were participating in a, in a growing folk business.

And a girl was riding me and comes in and he's just like, yo, bro, you got like a cigarette? Yeah. I'm just like laying there and she's just like on me and I'm just like, nah. And she's like, yeah, I do literally doesn't even like unplug like literally goes into her purse, grabs a cigarette, like gives it to Mike and Mike gives me a pound and I'm like, still in it. And she's you know what I'm gonna say? And he walks down and she's like, your brother's nice. You know what I'm gonna say? That girl's cool. Yeah, cool as shit. Just comes in like close up, like, you know, drunk people just get really close. Oh, yeah. He's like, bro, you got a cigarette? And she's just like, I do. Like that's like, no, you don't

have a cigarette. She's like, no, I do literally doesn't even dismount, just leans over to her purse. She's like rifling through it. I'm underneath there and just like looking like Mike's looking at me. It's like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I love you, dude. She's like, your brother's nice. You're always dating like, well, not always, but you were dating like fucking rugged bitches who were just like also just like cool as shit though, too. Yeah, most of the girls that I didn't get pregnant were really cool. The ones that I got pregnant. That's the cut off. That's the cut off. It's like, yeah, what happened to where I'm like, I had a kid with her and he wasn't a good boyfriend. She's like, oh, that explains a lot. The ones that I never got pregnant, the shit. The ones that I

got pregnant. I don't know if this is a little priority thing or just a dude thing in general. Prophylactics are terrible. I don't think I've ever had one before. He's like, safe sex and healthy diet. Like the same thing. It's like, they're good for you, but I rather not. It's healthier, but I rather not. Doodoo trash. I remember going shopping for condoms and being like thinking that you were cool. You know what I mean? And just being like, you know, but putting it out was not cool. I'm online getting fucking rubbers one time at Walgreens, which was like the 24 hour. This place was like, just didn't give a fuck about any holiday, any world fucking disasters, catastrophe war. Like it was just always open. Like you walk in

and like, Hey, what's up, man? Like, I'm like, dude, there's a tornado. There are children dying out there. They're like, Oh, we got a sale on fucking new ports. Like you want some? Do you have anything for? And you're like, Yes, but also, yeah, I go, yeah, I go into buy rubbers and I look up and and like my dad's sister is standing next to me on the line. And I'm just like, I remember being like the coolest dude up into that moment. And then just being like, what's up? Like just like stashing him. Because I guess I didn't want her to know that I was having sex, but my kid was like at three. So I figured smart enough, ladies, you probably figured it out. You know what I mean at this point? But that was like, that was it. Otherwise, every time you just buy rubbers, you

just go, you just go buy rubbers, you just throw it down on the counter. Like it's like it's a black guard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, yeah, she was like, price check, extra small, non lubricated condoms. I'm like, those aren't mine. Those aren't mine. That's a real thing. Everyone here is butch. Magnums, right? Just to try it on, just to see what your tongue is. Yeah. Until you realize there's an elephant trunk hanging off the end of your head. And then just use them as garbage bags. The thickness, I would always fit. It's like the length. It's like I was wearing like a stocking cap half off of my head. It'd be tight here, it'd be tight here, but I still had a little flap in the back. Yeah. It's like after a skydiver

gets a done skydiving, just dragging the parachute. Yeah. It's just dragging on your wiener. It just looks so dumb. It doesn't look good at all. Just rolling it up. And then I'm just doing this too like you're pulling it out and it's like stretching for the still inside her and on you. And it's just like, this thing doesn't fit at all. It looks like an accordion. It looks like a condom and then an accordion. But also I won't lie. I don't really know how big, I mean, that was probably young when I, because that's a young thing you do, but I don't know how big are those things? What are they meant for? Seven? Eight? Fat cocks. Don't ask me, fuck right. I don't even know. Like what are they? How many sizeable condoms? One? No,

because I feel like I've seen, I think you catch butterflies. Yeah, you do like bubbles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do the whole fucking thing. That's the most beautiful thing, the most beautiful thing ever. Trash bags, I was just picking up. Well, what do you guys go with? What does everyone here go? What do you go with? Just, I don't know. He has not been listening to the opposite. Wrong table. Bro, I got so much money to spend on all this shit. Like, since I stopped, you know how much money I saved on condoms by not buying? Well, a lot of you guys, a lot of you, like eight bucks.

No, no, but it's like you quit cigarettes. But how much money in child support? Yeah, but I've also, I've also been Tinder dating for like the past fucking, however, as soon as Tinder came out on beta, I was trying it out. You know what I mean? Like, I was fucking, I was, I haven't been, I don't think I've had like a legit steady girlfriend in such a long while ever since HPV came out. So I always have to be from obsolete. You could still get, you could still get an STD while wearing a rubber. Then what's the fucking point? Yeah, but someone's, what's the point? Yeah, let's get pregnant. That's, but I think yeah, but here's the thing is way cooler than HPV. Yeah. But here's the thing though to fuck you

when you have your kid. They're like, he must be a good person. He's a good dad. I'm like, hell yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. But here's it. But here's, here's the thing though. Are you gonna, are you gonna use, are you gonna, like if you're playing Russian roulette, you know what I mean? Are you, do you want less bullets or more bullets in the gun? You know what I mean? You want, you want your, do you want your chances decreased or do you just want to jump into a hot cauldron every time you fuck someone? But there is a point where in a seatbelt and you're still going to die. Yeah. I mean, fuck it. I'm right. Well, there's a sick, there's a sick. Yeah. Well then that just depends on how fast you're going. I guess where the fuck you're

meeting these fucking women that you're fucking because I'm trying to meet somebody that literally is like has some parents to still go to church and shit. Not me. I don't, I don't, as Danny said in his freestyle, he's like, oh, you kind of said, why don't you try dating a girl with a dad? That won't be bad. One of the best freestyle lines ever. Oh, that's kind of sad. Why don't you date a girl with a dad? That won't be bad. And it hurt me and made me laugh equally. Yeah, so true. It was so true and so accurate. Like to this day, hands down. Girls with dads way better. Going back to the battle rap shit. Like if he had said that to me in a battle rap, I would have like just took my shit off. This is like, yeah, I'm out. I lost. I lost. Thank you so much for the opportunity.

I remember I remember I remember I was dating a Jamaican girl at one time and me and Danny were mad young and Danny was rap battling me in this basement and Danny sunned her like while speaking like fake patois in a rap battle. And I remember being like, yeah, that she was fired up and Danny was like, yeah, thanks. Thanks. And they just kept coming. It was probably one of the most like it was like probably one of the best this is I've ever had like while we were rap. I'll never forget it was it was like, it was like Drake patois. Yeah. It's like so bad hysterical. I do. I do remember that now. I do. I haven't thought about that. Yeah, I was like, I was dating this Jamaican girl. I kind of was like, we were, we did in high school and it was in high school. So it was just like

the funniest like rap battle in the basement dungeon rapping. It was so funny. Do you know I'm like, yeah, that's he like, but yeah, yo, I want to go. I don't really want like a bad ass bitch. I want like a fucking, I don't mind having as long as you as long as you want a bad bitch, not all the time. No, not really, man. They scared the shit out of me. I'm not good looking chicks. No, not good looking chicks. Like like crazy insane. Like, yeah, it's fun. But also like, I don't want to worry for my life when I'm having sex. No, I like to like kind of be the one that's doing it a little bit. How many how many times have you been in a situation where it's just like you, you kind of felt like you were, you were outmatched. Like this girl had way more swag

in the bedroom. When I got punched in my face, you got punched in your face. Yes. Yes. I got absolutely punched in my fucking mouth. I had a swollen lip next to her. Right. Well, she just decked you. My mouth was more swollen than my cockless. Right. No, but like, has there ever been that moment? There have been a few moments for me where I was just like, yeah, I'm pursuing this chick and then finally it goes down. And it's like, it's like, you just realize your weight class as far as like sex experience. I'm like, this is a heavyweight and I'm a welterweight. This bitch is going to knock you fucking. I am, I am 100% fine. Your part is just being like, dude, you need to just move. I'm 100% fine with being a pussy and dead. I don't care if there's

rose petals. I don't give a shit. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a girl that's just her intensity is way higher than yours. And as you might not admit it out loud, but like in that moment, it's like, it's like the time you got into a fight with a dude that was just bigger and stronger than you. And you're like, damn, this guy's going to wash me. This dude's going to wash me, but I'm going out. Like, I'm, yeah, fuck that. They're going to carry me. Chad's like, yeah, you ever fucked anyone with ADHD and just doesn't shut up? Not paying attention. Just like, over here, over here. She's like, hold up, move your penis, put your penis up three times before you put it in.

Yeah, she's like giving head and just like, I'm just like putting her hand back on it. Realistically, I feel like I have something else to do right now. I'm like, yeah, finish me off. I do. Realistically, she's like, I got to go. She's like, can you turn the lights off 10 times Are you reading a book right now? Well, I don't know. Do you guys like the Ruffians? Yeah, I love that shit. I think that should be awesome. The Ruffians is what you call it. Yeah. Ruffians is like what my mom feels like a group of kids. You like a brawler in bed? Yeah, I like a brawler. Do you like spitting? I like it. I don't know. I don't mind spitting because that's really hot because in that moment,

when it happens, you're kind of just like, all right, this is another level. I'll say this. I like getting hit too. I don't like that. I like getting like prison shanked. In your butthole? No, well, stabbed in my kidneys. Have you ever got fingered in your BH? No, no. In your BH. No, but I've had a few go for it. I'm like, hey, hey, hey. What do you like? I got to hear this. No, I was just saying, pretty much anything that happens in the moment, like I'm not going to say anything, but then afterwards, I'll be like, don't punch me. I don't want to get hit. But you're about to text your boy and you're like, you know what, I'm not going to send that makes me fuck harder. But I'm getting slapped. I'm like,

I'm doing something wrong. Yeah, I'm better. I get better. I get better. I get better. I'm more dominant. So I'm not I'm not submissive. So if someone slapped me, I'd be tight. That's what I mean. Like I'm like, but what if it's agreed upon slapping? But I'm not I'm a dominant person. So I don't like that. But you could you could down that slapping, spitting. I don't know. I get I get very angry when someone contacts with me that hard. It clearly had anger problems. I need to work that out. But getting slapped. Dude, I dare you. I remember getting hit and it's stung. And I remember my face just being like, yeah, and like not know what to do. I'm like, I'm sitting there and I'm like confused. But I'm like, oh, that was new. But I'm like,

you know, whatever, choking, choking time. People can tell me all the time, you know, you fuck like a puss. I don't give a shit. I'm still nutting. And that's all I need. I don't give a fuck. What's that? No, Doug. What's that? No, I don't care. How was Miami? You guys were there for what? A week? No, we were there for a week, a Thursday to Sunday. Yeah, that's all right. Still working on the calendar thing. What? It's still working on the guy that was dancing in your Instagram is like a famous dude. Yeah. Who? What? Hose need to get drunk. The dude in that long limo SUV thing? Yeah, he has like 500,000. He has like a lot of followers on Instagram. He's pulled up in a Sprinter van. My friend is from Florida and he's like,

before that, we're sitting at dinner at this place. We're at Prime and Jason Pierre Paul's there and the guy from Giant. So he has a fucked up hand because he blew up a firework in his hand. So our waiter comes over and he goes, you guys see that? That's Juan Pierre Paul. So we're laughing. We're like, who? And he goes, Juan PP. And now we're dying, right? So he turned him into like a gondola fucking steer. But he wasn't even talking about him. He like moved Jason Pierre Paul and there's like a little Spanish guy sitting. He's like, that's Juan Pierre. And then my friend, when we're walking out, we see JPP and my friend goes like this. And then we get outside and my friend Danny goes, he goes, yo, you just try to get a thumbs up from a guy who has one finger.

JPP just responded with this. We get outside and we're waiting for our Uber and this fucking Sprinter van pulls up with this dude and the door just like flies open. He's blasting the song and it's just repeating. Hose, they need to get drunk. Get drunk and let me fuck. Yeah. Hose. Yeah. You guys are drunk. Was it a religious? You got the gift thought. You guys are killing it. I love that place. The post is hilarious. In my head, I'm like, there's two ways to go about this. Completely ignore this or get involved. Get involved. Yeah. And I got involved. And the driver of the van just gets out, leaves the car in the center of the street. There was 20 cars like back down. He just gets out and he starts taking pictures of us and he just starts killing it.

Yeah. My friend wrote on that post and was like, I know that dude because my friend lives in Florida and was just like, that's like, I forgot his name. So like Sprinter. It was yeah. But then I looked him up. Yeah. He's got like a shit ton of followers. I guess maybe that's his thing. I need to get this song. If I sent that song in the chat, I'll find the guy. But Miami was just like, it was all business. Like you guys were there to do a couple of shows and then come back or no, no, no, no. It was a bachelor party. Yeah. For who was it? Who was it? My friend. There's a tour that's coming soon too, right? Yeah. We want to at some point in 2020 do that. Okay. Yo, I just want to first off, I got to get sentimental here a little bit. I just want to

say to both of you guys. I'm super proud of both of you. You guys are fucking awesome. You guys are fantastic. You guys are fantastic together. And also I want to say that I went to go buy wine last week in the liquor shop in my town and I get it. I get the wine. I go up to the fucking counter and I just see this girl sitting there and she's got, and I just see Danny and you on the phone. She's watching basement. Yeah. And again, it's tasting. So I get it. But, but still, I was, I'm sitting there. I'm like, she goes, yeah, you're, it's going to cost you $10. I'm like, listen, I'm not trying to act like, you know, you should be doing this, but are you just going to have my brother's face on your fucking phone and not say a word to me? So she goes,

she rings it up. She goes, no, I love, I love you. I love him and Joe. She's like, I follow you too, but we're watching. I'm watching and I'm like, she didn't even say anything for the longest time. So shout out to Jen at the liquor store. She loves you guys. And I was sitting there and it was the coolest thing ever. So, but it also just made me think like, because you guys are, and obviously 2020 more things to come, right? Yes. Yes. Big thing for years. Well, I drag mine. Just pretend that your dick is coughing here. But anyway, yeah, sorry. But Miami was definitely cool. Everyone down there, piece of shit. Is that a fact? No, no, no, they're nice people. It's just like politically asked that question to be correct. I didn't know. Yeah,

but like, yeah, it was like, all right, I showered so much after leaving Miami. It was just like Bugatti's and like a lot of Ferraris and go from a lot of rented cars and like people that just, yeah, just starting hard. So like, you could definitely sense like the materialistic aspect, but it's like turned all the way up. Yeah. I met a tiger down there. I know the baby one, right? Or did you guys meet a big one? What kind of tiger was it? It was a white tiger. It was a white tiger. A white Bengal tiger. A white Bengal tiger. And you like, pet it? I got to pet it and everything. It was a baby though. And it roared and it was way louder than I thought. It sounded like a Honda Civic. It sounded like a hood ass Honda Civic.

It was a Dominican dude in a CRV. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Or a hatchback Honda Civic. That's what it sounded like. And then it's usually like, do it again, do it again. It's usually like, it's like you're really good at fake Spanish. You have fake Spanish. I have fake Japanese. Yeah. Well, in fake Jamaican apparently. Sonny in the basement. Yeah, I remember I took a trip. Me, me and a couple of friends went down to Miami. It was sometime after 9 11. And I remember being so fired up. Yeah, it was like literally, no, it was like the first time I had been on a plane since 9 11. So it was like everybody, we kind of set back the trip because it would have just

happened, whatever. I must have been 22 at the time. Right. And I remember getting to Miami after being so fired up and being so fucking grossed out by that whole scene of what you're talking about. Like when we got down there, that I was just like, I think it was two nights of it. And I was like, I don't want any parts of this anymore. I just, I felt like, dude, I felt like I was just in like a never ending, just like trick daddy video. Like that's all that was happening. Don't get me wrong. I fucking love trick daddy, but all my TV, like being there, it just wasn't my vibe at all. And everybody's like, yo, we're going to Miami again. And I'm just like, cool. They're like, you coming? I'm like, nope. You saw Whitney Houston down there.

First person, first two celebs I saw were Whitney and Bobby and Bobby Christina. Christina Bobby, Bobby Christina, the daughter, rest of the souls, rest of the souls. So we get to ocean drive. It's like the Freedlander, the Netherlander, the new, the Clevelander, right? We go up and down the strip. We're in my boy's car and I'm like, dude, you'll go back. That's definitely Bobby Whitney. He's like, no, no, I'm like, bro, that's Bobby winning. And I pulled up and just TMZ ish. Just like, Hey, Bobby winning. And they're like, Hey, I'm just like hanging out the window, like drive by like filming camcorder. And they're like, no, no, no, no, I'm like, sorry. But I put the camera down and I went over and said hello to him and they were fucking chill as

shit. Yeah, it was so nice. A little coke down a little. Yeah, Bob, Bob, what are you guys doing Miami? Oh, nothing. Bob was just chubby and Whitney was just super slim and their kid was like, she was a baby at the time, but they were really nice. They were just really sweet. You know what I mean? And I love Whitney Houston. I've been a bigger fan of Whitney Houston all my life way more than Bobby. Yeah, because Bobby was like, Yeah, which always made hits. But Whitney to me was just like all her hits were happening when I was a kid and one of the greatest voices ever. But to see them was pretty cool. But you knew a lot about them at that point that they were just like, just hood as fuck. You know what I mean? And just doing, you know, hood rat shit. So I was like, and it was just

us. It was just three hood motherfuckers talking to each other with their hood baby. I love Miami, man. I don't know why, but I just love going down there. But that's you know, or just Miami. No, everything. You know what it is. It's like, when you're in New York, like me and my friends, like we don't like, I don't really see my friends that much as like as much as we talk every day. We have a group chat with just like 15 of us. Yeah, yeah, we don't like hang out every day. Like we have little clicks or whatever. But when you get everyone in the same spot, Oh, it's go time. It's crazy. Yeah, no, that like Daniel's talking about is like, you know, I've never like the things that you guys did with alcohol I've never seen in my life.

It was crazy because I was like, all right, I know these. Oh, you're down there not drinking all that time. I'm not doing nothing. I don't know how you guys I don't like I could never go somewhere to get hammered every day and then single day take a plane back. My fucking Mike literally the last day, right? Because like we drank for how many days in a row. And then the last day I was they they were like, yo, we're gonna go to a bar. That's another thing my friends have like, they're just they go machines. Yeah. And they were like, we're gonna go to a bar just to watch like the football the first football game. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna stay back and just chill. So I just chilled. And then it was like 830 we have a flight at 7am. Yeah. And

then they're like, yo, 7am. Yeah. So they were like, yo, let's go to 11, which is a strip club down there. And I was like, oh, and I was waiting for someone to be like, I'm gonna stay back and I'm gonna stay with you. But everyone was down. I was like, well, I'm going I guess I was the last one home. I got home at like 430, slept for 20 minutes and then gotten an Uber to the airport. And I was like shaking the airport not trying to throw up. I woke up to a 5am FaceTime from Joe. Right. And I was like, I wish so badly that I wait, well, and it wasn't from your phone number. It said, San Agato225 at gmail.com. Oh, so you FaceTime like from your email. I don't know what I don't know how I did that nor do I

even remember. Were you hammered or just not even there really? Oh, dude, I smoke a cigar inside the strip club at 330. Yeah. Cigars when you're already boozed up and whatever it is you've been straight to the dome fucking ruin you. And it did. And it did. Like you'll get sick. Well, that much tobacco. Yeah. The nicotine that you get from a cigar like that. If you're not a smoker, if you don't commonly often smoke cigars or cigarettes, we'll fucking feel like a Florida strip club. They just like to spank it out their coaches and give it to you. They're like, here it is. It's like a Floridian fucking cigar. It tastes like stripper couch. But yo, I had Cuban coffee for the first time. Oh, when I tell you when I tell you that this shit made me feel as if

my heart was going to leap through my asshole. Over my head, back down my throat into my chest, is an understatement. I can't do coffee. I had to go get a shirt and target. I was so afraid of everything around me. I felt like Spider-Man. I was like, you know, I said, I could feel everyone's heartbeat in this. Yeah, because you know what it is. You feel like it's almost like when you're, when you, when that bad high, when you were younger, the paranoia one, you get anxiety when it's like everyone's fucking looking at me. And if I do one thing that's weird, everyone's going to make fun of me and they're going to laugh at me. Fucking loser. Yeah, like that kind of shit. So that's how I would feel like in a store too. And the same

thing happened to me because I had a fucking, this fucking bitch gave me double espresso at fucking Starbucks and I don't drink coffee at all ever. And I was sitting in my friend's seat just like, he's like, you good? I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Like with my teeth just grinding in the back. And I'm like, I can't, I can't do coffee. Coffee's not good for me. I love coffee. Yeah. I can do like, I actually do like a little bit. I can do like, I love coffee a lot, but I've, I've realized how bad it is for you to drink excessively. Like the way I see people drink coffee. I first of all, like when I go to a coffee shop, right? And I see people coffee that dedicated to coffee and how many different like styles of coffee. And all this other shit. I'm just also getting like unhealthy

coffee. It's like, let me get 10 squirts of caramel. I've been chugging bodega coffee for 25 years. Yeah, I had never had that. I think maybe three times in my life, I've paid more than a dollar. Yes, we're gonna hold it like 15 times. Yeah, today. I'm like, and I live right across the street from a cafe that is like a gold mine. Shout out to Antoinette's for sure, Coos and the whole crew. It's a pillar of the community. Everybody goes there. It's an awesome place to hang out. But it's just like, you go into a coffee shop and you get two coffees, you're coming out 13 bucks poorer. You know what I mean? Like coffee is not cheap anymore. I'm like, fuck this. I'm going to Arab deli. I'm getting a fucking chopped cheese and I'm getting a fucking

shit coffee for probably five bucks. It's a fucking monopoly though, isn't it? At this point or no, like, people freak out about coffee if they don't get it. I didn't get my coffee yet. I'm like, I didn't get my dick sucked today. You don't see me trying to fuck people. Like, there's no way that your coffee means as much as you. I didn't. I haven't had my dick sucked yet. Yeah, that's it. That's what my coffee says. I have coffee, but no one sucked my dick. I'm still in a bad mood. I'm just more energetic now. Everyone loves it. I feel so fucking out of place sometimes because like, I mean, I feel like when you get older also, obviously that's when you're younger, there's like, this shit sucks. And everyone that's my age, I feel like I've had so many house,

like I've had like a house party, I go to my friend's house, I stay over the night. Like, and there's like three people that stayed over, everyone's in their 30s or everyone wants to drive home. Everyone's fucking having coffee the next day. And I'm just like, I can't, I don't know, I like, I love the taste though. You know where I'm at now in my life? I just randomly sweep shit. Like now I'm the guy in front of the building, your old sweet man. Yeah. Yeah. And I got like an unlit cigarette in my mouth and I'm just like, Hey Lenny, and I'm just like, I'm like spraying shit. I'm like, because that's what I do. I said, Hey, I like, yeah, yeah. Like feeding ducks and shit. Like this is where I'm at. And it's funny because it's not like I pushed myself to do it.

I just woke up one day and was just annoyed with the way that the leaves looked in front of the house. And I got out there and started sweeping shit. I don't even know people who are just addicted to crack juice. They just almost sick. That's why I was afraid to have Cuban coffee when I went down there. Right. I was anxious about having coffee that was gonna make me anxious. And I had it again after that. And I was, I felt better. But the first one initially, yo, the piss that I took smelled like Cuban rocket fuel. Right. I was like, this is fucking crazy. Dude, I, my piss smells like coffee. I could drink this. It was crazy. I just recently started drinking coffee. Yeah. Cigarettes for me has always been that thing. Like even though I've had my times

where I quit and stuff and I get away from it, but like juuling and all that, I was like, oh, this is great. Like I could just do this. Yo, the jewels crush my like breathing when I went because yeah, because now like a cigarette, you have to go outside and smoke a cigarette. A jewel, you're just like, like a court. You know what I mean? Like you're in church. You're like, your kid's being born. You just fucking hit the first one. He says you're in court. Well, yeah, this is real shit. You're jueling in court. Dude, you know how many times I've been to court and just be like, damn, I want to smoke a cigarette so bad. If you have that now to juul and you're just like, and then you're like this guy like blown into your shirt and it judges

just like all jewels off and I'm just like cell phones too. He's like cell phones. Joe, you never smoked soaps earlier. I've smoked like hookas and like I'll have cigars and shit. But you'll suck this thing. I've smoked jewels before. I'll suck this thing. Yeah, even your lady, she doesn't smoke. No, good for you, man. Did you ever smoke cigarettes? Like buy packs? Yeah, when I was completely depressed. Dude, I started smoking cigarettes, which was like what, yesterday? Like yeah, we're always depressed. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12. Yeah, super young. Purchasing packs. You know what it is? I'm just an accelerated person. I fucking smoked cigarettes at 12. Yeah, you were 30 at 12. I get chicks at 16.

I ain't waiting for life to come to me. I'm going to get it, you know what I'm saying? That's a go-getter's attitude. That's it. So I have cancer in three kids, so that's pretty much what that comes in. And I say three. So I say three because I definitely got someone pregnant that doesn't know it's mine because she was probably cheating on a boyfriend with me. You definitely, you definitely, you gotta eat that one. You also definitely snore like you've been snoking cigarettes for a total of years. Love your son, daughter, come see me. I'm a celebrity now. That guy looks just like me. Yeah. I mean, all right, well, here's the thing. I don't know.

You guys live closer to dad, obviously. Yes. So I have this running joke on my Instagram that dad doesn't love me. Yes. I mean, that's true though. Yeah, it's true. I mean, it's true. But it's middle child syndrome. Now, do you think that he enjoys it or possibly doesn't like it? That you talk about it? Yeah, I just feel like my dad doesn't love me. I think he knows at this point you're kidding. So yeah, I think he knows at this point. I don't think he likes it though. I think he's 100% knows that he knows that you know, I feel like I can get down and I know that you know that I know that, you know, dad knows that you, that he knows that you know that he actually loves you. So I think, you know, we had that we had that whole thing where you ever said

you love me. I think any parent, I think any parent, here's their kids say like, Oh, I don't feel like my parent loves me. They're going to be like, Oh, that makes me feel awesome. Yeah. I want to catch dad once while I'm sitting behind him. Like, you know how we he'll sit in his couch and we all have that view the back of his fucking head. And like, I just want to see once like dad pulling that up and not hear anything just get past the point where like, and my dad doesn't love me and my dad's watching you just don't hear a fucking sound. I just love it now because now my dad, like when I'm leaving, I'm like, All right, pops. I love you, Jared. Good night, dad. I think maybe at first he was like, what the fuck's wrong with this?

Just pat some on his back. He's like, you don't love me too. He's like, no, no. My dad got so mad at me one time. I was like, yo, just once. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just once. I remember one time we were all sitting in a room and like me and my dad were arguing about something. It was about like getting like a case for my cell phone, like a clip for my next tell. I was like, it's never only about that. Yeah. But I was just like, yo, can I get a clip for this phone, man? And he was like, I'll have the money right now. I was like, you have enough money to buy Jared a car. Yeah. And he fucking went crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, he chased me or yeah. My dad was not accurate. He just co-signed for the car. I paid for the car. Yeah. Yeah.

Or I was like, I was like, that's probably what he's pissed. Yeah. Again, I remember he was like, Jared was like, yeah, I need like a couple grand or some or whatever, like another time. And I was just like, yeah, but I still can't get this thing. Right. Yeah. And then he looked at me and our dad would do something where he stood up and you know, like when you're like, you don't want to run out of the room, but you're like, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she was like, yo, I'm chill. Like I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. It was a joke. It was a joke, bro. Chill out. He's standing up real fast. Yeah. Because yeah, my dad would just stand up real fast. And then we also knew our dad was going to beat the shit out of us if his glasses were off. Yeah.

Oh God. Yeah. If that eye started getting lazy, you're getting fucked up. He's hitting one of those two guys. Dude, that was like me and my brother. We could tell when my dad was like coming because judging by like the sound of the footsteps, it was like, yeah. Oh, fuck. Those are dead. Yeah. Yeah. And then we get nervous. Pretend we're asleep. Every time he would come in. I was good at it, but Keith was always just like, yeah, he was pretending he was asleep once when I never been good at like, I prank called. I prank called me and my friend would call like Chinese restaurants and like a pizza place and do the two way thing. So they'd be like, it's like, you call me and then it's like, no, you called us like, what do you want? Like, no, you call me.

Cops came, got us. Long story short, I'm upstairs. My dad's like, you know, fucking like, I'm going to beat the shit out of you because you just had the cops come here at 12 in the morning rightfully. So yeah, don't hurt me, dad. I'll tell the real story. I promise. So we go. So I'm telling a story. Danny's sleeping and he just goes and another thing and just punches Danny in his chest while he's sleeping. And Danny just goes, oh, sleeping. My dad goes, no, you weren't. My dad knew. My dad would just like, got Danny while he was still just while he was sleeping still. I've never seen the most thugged out thing ever. My dad's got one. I do. I'm dreaming. Yeah. Dad has one ass kicking him left, I think. I don't know which one was good for sure. But it'd probably be me.

The other day, probably going to be for mom. I literally texted. I texted dad the other day and he wanted to do this 45 years woman. I texted him the other day and he just goes, hey, Danny, I just don't have time for this. I get it, bro. Man, it's so funny because if you think about like, I mean, I just don't have time. I'm the only dad in here. So it's like, you know, when I'm now at my age and I'm sitting across the table from dad, it's like, you always remember it's your father, but like, you're still thinking now you're like, damn, we're just two older dudes now, like in the game, right? This is what it is. Like, always be your son. You always look at me as someone you have to care for. I'm always look at

you as someone that I should respect. But now it's just like, you know, every now and then, like dad, just like whatever, like, like scripted, stereotypical answers he should give. Now it's just like, fucking bitches are crazy. Of course, like, no, man, you got to be patient. You know, it's just it's better to be the bigger man there. You should treat women nice. Now it's changing. Now he's just like, that's so funny that he texted you. He's like, don't ever get married. Don't ever do the shit that I did. You know what I mean? But it was always good advice. Like he always said it to me. I think my dad, you know, he was good at that. He would be very good at those things, but also the amount of scaring you to death and the equal amount of and even more

loving you. But like, imagine dealing with all of us. When our dad grabbed you, it was like, remember when I was talking about, yeah, like my dad and his prime, like, was a guy that could move around shit. You know what I mean? Like six, three, 200 pounds, athletic dude, and, you know, kind of hair trick or temper if you said the right thing. And I remember like, sometimes I would just be talking shit. I'm like, yeah, but I'm fucking, you know, I'm saying grown ass, man. I would be off of the floor. Yeah. I saw Jared get elevated like fucking Chris. Off of the floor. Off of the floor. And I remember immediately just being like, just let God take you. You didn't mean like it's over. You're done. You were going to go right through the roof. And I was like watching Power Rangers.

I was like, no, it's going to mess this episode up for me. And Jared's getting choked. I'm like, no, I'm like, I'm like Rangers here. I'm just saying next to Michael. Michael's just like, stop this episode. No, I'm in the corner. Can everyone quiet down there? I'm in the corner like doing moves. And then I'm like, my dad's doing to move to Jared. I'm like doing it also. It's like, I want to learn. I remember like, there would just be situations though, where it would be like, if Jared was getting like some heat, the party was like, damn, I want to help him. But if I do this, you're fucked. I'm in trumps. No, you know, so that's what it was like, just run. Honestly, very nice. Very nice, man. Just I feel like he would hold all that in. And

then it'd be certain moments that he was just like, all right. And then my mom, on the other hand, she was just like, say the right thing at the wrong time. I got something for you. Yeah. My parents off the boat Italian or like, they were born here. But like, they, I mean, they also grew up in the time where like, their teachers were beating the shit out of them in school and shit. But like, I was, I remember we had like, we had bunk beds and there was like a slot. There was like a two wooden planks that would go like this. There was a hole in the middle of it. And I was on the top bunk and I was like, you got to get for school. And I was like, yeah. And then I rolled over and fell asleep. And then she, for whatever reason, I guess it was having

a bad morning. She came through and she had, she was sticking a hockey stick through that slot. It was like, get the, oh my God. I was like, damn. Yeah, I was like, chill. I was also like, none of us play hockey. Where'd you get that? She's like, I've been fucking working out in a fucking basement. She's got like, just got different weapons every, like your fucking stuck pancake to the fucking pan. I was like, what the fuck? Because our dad would be like, super cool, but then like, threaten to throw you over out of the house, like over a fight about Beyonce. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad one time. This isn't about Beyonce. This is about us. This is about you and me, sir. Who was tougher on you though? Your mom or your dad?

It's probably tougher. It's probably my mom. My dad was the one who was like the executioner, because my mom would, my mom like raised us because my dad would work two jobs. My mom didn't have to work when we were like super young. Did you hear a lot of, wait till your dad gets home? Yeah. And then when he did get home, it wasn't great. Dude. And it would be like three hours later, but he still had the same energy. Yeah. But my mom also was just like, my mom was ruthless too though. My mom would like, you know, she would, she would fuck us up. They're smart about it. They knew she was like, if I call your dad at work and it's 2pm and he doesn't get home till six, anger is going to wear out. And go to sleep. I need to tell him just as he walks in. He's like,

oh, where's Dennis? She's like, Joe's still the car today. And he's just like, oh, did he now? You know what I mean? He's like, I'm going to eat. And I just want to say something for people who are like, don't hit your kids and shit. I have the, we have the best relationship with our fucking family. My family is tight and like, oh yeah, you punched me with a ring on once. I'll never forget it. But we're, we're, we're, we're, our family is, yeah, our family smuggled those cigarette butts. Our family is, our family is just, is just like tight. Like that's just how it is. Like, yeah, I can't imagine this. You live, you live in a time now where beating your kids is frowned upon and don't get me wrong. But yeah, don't get me wrong. There's, there's a limit. My dad hasn't

done it in so long. I almost wanted to do it for like, oh, I'm like, just so you know, just so you know, it is, it is still legal to spank your kids as long as it's not excessive. Yeah. No, but I know some people are like, I don't want to hit my kid and shit. And it's just like, I remember, I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. Yeah. Wait till it tells you to go suck your deck. Yeah. Let's see how much you want it. Exactly. Yes. Right. When you're out in the street and you see like some, you hear like some tantrum being thrown by some kid and you see mom or dad there and they're just sitting down just like Bradley Bradley and the kid is just like, nah, nah. And I'm like, bro, do you know how long that would have lasted with my mother? You know how long I wouldn't get a one.

I would have gotten maybe half of the letter N out. Dude, literally, literally, I would have been just like bone exposed. That's what would have happened. One time I was in, I was in BJ's with my mom and I was sitting in the, in the cart and my arm BJ surplus. Yeah. So my arm, I was like flailing my arms or something. And then it got caught in between this like pillar. So my, and my mom didn't see. So she kept going and it like almost snapped your arm. Basically almost snapped my arm and I keep all hands and feet in the ride at all times. Basically. And I screamed so loud. I was in so much pain. I thought my arm was going to come off. And my mom, instead of being like, are you okay? It was just like, shut the fuck up. She didn't say it like that. But she was like,

would you stop? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like, and I feel her in a way because it's like, oh my God, you're making it seem like I just like burned her. Yeah. I get for all these strangers. But she was like, shut the fuck up. There was, there was always, there was always, there was always, I'm not doing anything to you. Like from like my mom or something. I didn't hurt you. Yeah. My mom would be, because there's like five people staring. My mom would be on the phone. She'd be like, yes, no, you know, absolutely. And then she just, yeah, yeah, no, my mom is, I know everything's fine here. We're good. She's like, come back and let this clean up. Janice, how are you? I will never forget. I took a shit and it clogged up and there was a shit

fucking Nile river going through our bathroom. And my, and my mom, I've never, it was like, you know, in Christmas story, when the dad curses, but you don't fucking hear the cursing. I heard everything. And I'll never forget it. My mom was like, you get the fuck in here, you clean it with the bucket. I remember, I did. I was like, she's right. I remember being younger and being like, she's so right. I have to do this. I remember going in, that's, that's where I was like, like when my mom was like cursing and stuff, I was like, I'm doing whatever she says, even my dad too, because my dad never curses rarely ever case when we curse too. And fuck shit. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Dad's not good. Dad's not a curse. Dad fucking love you dad.

Love you dad. Dad's cursing game is like a rhythmless dancer. It's like, it's just like shit ass. What was that? But he doesn't, I think only during sports, only during sports was his big time when we were younger. And we used to be like, nice, man. I fucking let it out. Dude, the best, the best. And it's funny because like I said, I remember, I'm obviously, you know what, 10 years old, eight years older than you, 10 years older, 10 years older than you. So I remember like my parents like in a prime of their like, you know, of their, they were younger to me than I am now, as I remember them. You know what I mean? And now I just look at them and I'm just like, look at these old people now. It's weird. It's weird. It's crazy to look at them. Like, and I admire that they're up there

in age like too, but it's like you look at it and you're just like, dude, that's going to be me. I'm grateful for all the being annoyed because it just taught me not to just be a fucking loud man. It's awesome though. Cause there were kids that are huge than me in school too. And I'm like, oh yeah, I learned from my dad. I might get something thrown at me. How long your parents been married? Oh, they're not married anymore. They were married. Okay. So your parents split up when you were younger? I was like 15. Did you stay with mom? Or did you go and live with dad? He left. Like, he didn't like, no, he didn't like do that. But like, out of New York. Yeah, he'd lived in, he's, he still lives in North Carolina. Gotcha. So you were raised basically by your mom?

No, I wouldn't say that because I was 15. Do you go to Kackalax or no? Do you go to North Carolina's ever? No, I haven't been there. You've never been? I have a better relationship with him now than I did like, well, like recently, but like he, like him, my parents never got along. So for as long as I can like actually remember, like maybe when I was super young, they did, but I don't remember that. Yeah. But they never like really got along. And then like when I was 15, he like went to North Carolina, they like separated. So but your mom, so but your mom like basically raised you like it sounds like, yeah, because on her own. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't, but I wouldn't say that though, because like my dad like was there for us. Like when we were

super young, like he was working two jobs and he'd come home and it was like, everything was cool for a little bit. I just don't like, I can't remember. Yeah. How many siblings do you have? I have three other ones. You do. Yeah. You got Keith. Yeah, you've never met Keith. I don't think I've met any of your family. Did any? No, I've ever come to a restaurant? No, I met like other Keith looks like an old, like he has his face. Like he looks like an old French artist. Like you could have been like an old French artist or something. And you're the youngest? Where are you in the chain? Yeah, I'm the youngest. You're the baby. Got you. Got you. Got you. So how do you, how old, how old are your parents? Like my mom's like, they're in there like early 60s. Okay.

Yeah. So like similar to ours. Yeah. It's crazy because my dad met my mom who already had a kid at the time, right? So my dad only had boys. The men in my family, the low priorities only have one gender baby. My uncle Frank had all girls. My uncle Dominic, all boys. I've only had girls. My dad only had boys. So it's like, you know, that curse or gift or whatever the fuck it is is kind of there. But I remember thinking to myself, like, like I want sons, but watching us grow up, it was, there was a way less maintenance with girls. Yeah. But then you add my cousin, six boys, John, Daniel, Christian, we'd all get together and it would just be like, every guy without having a kid that's like having a daughter because he's like, Jesus Christ,

like now I got to fight the fucking wolves off of this poor kid. You didn't mean, but girls are between 14 and 17. My oldest daughter being my little girl's 10 now, should be 10 on the 26th. My oldest daughter between 14 and 17 is when I wanted to fucking drown her. Like I just, I literally, I literally wanted to just take her down to the river and just drown her. And like, I want, I wanted to like just lend your ass. Like that's what I wanted. I don't mean to hurt him. Yeah. I don't think I could do it. Like, dude, I'll see you in heaven. It's terrified of having children. I'm just going to say, but afterwards it's like, you know, as a guy who's always kind of loved the company of women that you still get that romance a bit,

like with daughters, where it's like your son is just like, every time you look at him, you just like, I just want to split this fucking skull open. Like he's a dude. It's a different relationship. Yeah. I would think it's a different relationship because all the shit you fucking smell like, what the fuck? You won't leave your room. You're constantly playing video games. I just want to fucking slap you. I'm definitely going to, I mean, there's going to be some, some pow-pows going on for sure. Like, I'm not so fun. There's no assholes having kids and just me being like, out of the dad game. I'm retired from the game. I was almost done. Dude, if you think about it, if I didn't have, if I didn't have my little girl, I would have been retired from the

parent game at like 25. Dude, so young. Dude, I couldn't play like Canadian parent league. Like, like China and play apparently. I remember he had his second kid. I remember he had his second kid and we're, and we're, he's sitting on the bed. He's laying on the bed. He just goes, yeah, I got to tell you something. And he just, and I just go, you had another fucking kid and he goes, yeah. And I'm like, you're a fucking idiot. Dude, I called my closest friend. It was such a bad move that I called my closest friend Ben and I was just like, yo, you know, will you be my daughter's godfather? He's like, yo, not dog. Like, y'all not eating Indian food right now? Like, son, quite frankly, I don't even want to fucking talk to you, to be honest. By the way though,

coolest fucking kid ever. Coolest kid ever. Fucking best. But the fact that it was, you know, it was just came from a, you know, the rose that grew from concrete as I like to call it. Nobody wanted to fuck with me. Everybody was just like, you raising this one on your own, motherfucker. Like this is, it's, well, we put our time in. Yeah, because everybody else is like, How old are you for the second one? I was normal person age. Yeah. Not a normal person, but just normal person age. Yeah. We were walking up the street and he was like, yo, I got to tell you something. I'm still a mess. I'm having another baby and I just go, I ain't watching that motherfucker. I was like, whoa. Danny moved out of Hastings like two months

later. There was, yo, there was one time Michael recently has become, he's become my audible for babysitting. I'm just like, I'm like, oh, mom was out here. Oh my God. Kill white 80. White 80. Yeah. I watched so many kids. So they get along pretty good. I watched so many kids growing up. I had to retire. Yeah. I had to, but if you think about it, so many children, it's the best birth control. Like being around other people's kids makes you realize like how bad you don't want to have kids. You know what I mean? Like my oldest daughter, I'm like, yeah, you out there having sex and all that. And like, yeah, babysit this. I just, I gotta be, I have to be mentally okay. And before I could ever actually, I don't know. Some people say they're having a kid fucking

say you never have kids. Basically, probably, probably not going to you're smarter. Not so dude. Go out and get a dog, man. They die after a while. Kids, they last forever. Yeah. Your daughter to see this episode so hard. No, man. But if you think about it, I had her know what to fuck me. She's like, you want to, you want to know kids, kids will, kids will outlive you. You get a dog, the dead after 10 years. It's done. Do you mean like that's it? You bury him in the yard? You bury him in the yard? Yeah. That's why if you really, if you really do think about it though, the idea of children is very scary. Dude, it's scary. Yeah. So I understand where you're going. And then you add a kid to that as the parent as well. All right. Like, so I

was 16. I was playing baseball and I was playing baseball in Canada. And we were traveling around a bit with the team and I'll never forget it. I was with my man Billy and my man Johnny. We were playing NBA Jams, right? Yeah. In the life changed in the hotel room. I'll never forget I had the chair from the hotel on the bed, like sitting on the bed in like take this chair on the bed. And he's on fire. You know what I mean? Like what's going down and the phone rings and it's just like, yeah, phone call from desk like low priority and it's like, we're in there just fucking acting like idiots. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, put it through. I put it through and it's just a sobbing woman. His girl's pregnant. Yeah. His girl. He didn't pull out.

Boom. Chaka. Chaka. Chaka. Children from downtown. He can't buy a bucket. But so, so she's sobbing like hysterically. You know what I mean? And I'm just like, and Billy and Johnny are in the back like, Yeah, motherfucker. I like going nuts. I'm like, Oh, I'm like, Oh, you're quiet. And she's and it finally comes to and she's like, I'm pregnant. And I went out the next day and played the best game of my career with that league. I went like fucking four for four, like hit the cycle. Like, I didn't hit one out, but I went for a cycle and went back and I remember finding out like just really like it was done. 16, bro. The day before you were, I was the happiest pig and shit. And I, and I'll never

forget it. It was just done. Like, and it's the first time I ever heard dad cry. And I felt so bad because I knew how he let out, he let out an audible one. No, yeah, no. So when he found out about it, I think, I think Jen's mother had called my mom and she flipped out like fine. You know, she was embarrassed that she had to find out from somebody else and she was just pissed. Anyhow, I come home and I'm talking to dad. I'm just like, I got to tell you something. You know what I mean? It's like, and you've had this conversation with dad or parent or whoever. Like, you know, I got to do, I got to admit something. I'm fucking idiot. And he goes, she's pregnant, right? Like, he just knew it. And I'm like,

yeah. And he goes, and he goes, come here. And I'm like, no, no, no. He's like, why not? I'm like, cause you're angry with me. He's like, I'm not angry with you. He's like, you know what, just go to bed. And we were staying in that basement apartment by the cemetery at the time. And I remember going into the room and coming back and he was watching TV at the time and the lights were off and the poor guy was just in there crying. And I felt so bad because I didn't understand. I did it. I did it. I did it. I didn't understand. It was just all done. He knew it. He was just like, your life's never going to be fun. Like you just threw it all away just now. And he's like, and you're going to be a dad. Like you're not just going to be some guy that gets

people pregnant. Like you're going to be a dad. You're going to be responsible about it. You know, I cried. Cause he loves you. No, yeah. And he cried because he's like, you know, I'm pregnant. I'm, you know, was that Willy Wonka? So I was like, yeah, I'm hyperventilating. I'm like, I gotta, I can't at 16. Tell your mom to send you a picture of you when you were 16 and look at it. And then, and then Photoshop a baby that looks like you into that. Dude, what year was that? I don't even know. Were you born? He was 96.

For me, I think that's 2008, 2005, I think. Oh, so when you're 16. Yeah. So I'm like, 2008, bro. So don't feel bad about not having a baby. I feel like I would have a baby without waiting. 2008, bro. I was getting turned on by watching Nelly's hot in here video. Like there's no way I'm trying to fucking have a child. I was waiting to jerk off the tip drill. Uncut BET was like my like most passionate, sexy, like adventurous thing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So if you ever don't, if you ever feel bad about not having kids. But being an uncle or one of mine, being an uncle at a young age was cool though.

Yeah, of course. It was very cool. It was very, yeah, absolutely. All right. So cool. Like before we wrap up the podcast, we do ask everyone these questions. Okay. So you guys can get both answer them. First one being what was the worst job you ever had? You can go first. Now you go first. All right. So the worst job I ever had must have been my maintenance job because I was like a fucking goddamn, like a fucking target on the wall for bees. And for, and I was just cleaning up the dirtiest shit like kid fucking throw up. I'll never forget picking up fucking tampons out of the girl's fucking bathroom because they didn't have a maintenance guy doing it. Worst thing ever.

I've worst job ever. I don't even want to talk about it. Doing maintenance at this place. I've never, first off, men, if you guys are trying to date women and you don't think they're like pooping and all that stuff, girl, shit hard. I'll never forget going in this bathroom and I, there was shit on the fucking wall. I'm not even fucking joking. It was explosive shit on the wall. And then I had to clean up tampons, but by far that was my worst job was doing maintenance. So fun. Yeah. I had fun there sometimes, but a hot lifeguard here, here, there's, I felt like I had to be like, oh, like cleaning up fucking popcorn dude that like, I'll never forget. I'll never forget going one, one year. I was working

maintenance. I was working maintenance and this little kid goes, I dropped my popcorn and stomps on it and pushes it into several thousand million pieces. And all I had, the only weapon I got is like a little baby broom that I needed to bend over for because it was too small to actually reach the ground. Anyway, terrible job. Man, it's a job. Worst job for me is produce. I worked at produce at the AMP across the street. And it was a shit fucking job. My boss was an absolute piece of shit. Produce was just like prepping produce sucked. It's not even cool. Terrible night for food. Dude, it's just not, yeah, it's just not even a cool job. And you're just like cleaning vegetables. And it's just like, dude, if we were doing like burgers or something, at least I could

crush a burger every now and then. And I ultimately lost my job for stealing rice pudding. So that's that. Yeah, there it is. Did you get fired from circuit city? I did. They said you stole batteries? They did. Did you? I took batteries from the trash can. Did you steal the batteries or trash? Here's what it came down to. In electronics, like in shit packages get broken and merchandise rolls around the store. So you'll find it, you'll throw it in trash, you'll put it in like a recycling bag. Sometimes it rolls right into your pocket. Right into your... Oh, the Star Trek Motorola. Someone dropped the TV. I got a smartphone. I will say this. I will say this. I did not steal the batteries. Did I steal a bunch of other shit? Absolutely. Yeah, when I left, I was like,

fuck yeah, you even kept me for the big shit I took. It wasn't grand larceny. It wasn't grand larceny. The shit that I took besides that, though, probably grand larceny. Yeah, I would have been in a lot of trouble. Good for you. Yeah, you know, fuck the system, man. The sheets that are currently on your beds, how long have they been there? Oh, fucking literally two weeks. I can't do dirty sheets. I feel like I'm sleeping like a fucking goddamn refugee. I can't sleep on dirty sheets, but two weeks for me. Two weeks for me. I feel like refugees always have collared shirts. Yeah, it's always like a polo. It's probably a hand-me-down from the fucking... Yeah, not even to be a dick, but I'm just saying, it's probably donation. Well, dude, they want to look good when

they get into the country. They're gonna hide it and he's like, hey, man, I'm not underdressed. You gotta be honest. Ed Hardy, Ed Hardy. You guys still wear the old fucking religion? That's so good, Ed Hardy. Affliction. Affliction, yeah. Oh, god. You can't read it anyway. Oh, god. That fucking company. Well, now that I have the dogs, I change them often because the dogs sleep in the bed with me, so I change them often. I'd say probably about four or five days now, but that could go on for another six months. You never know. It depends on when I do laundry. Only one other guest has been able to do this. Okay. Name five Kid Rock songs. Oh, dude, I can't even one. Oh, Jesus Christ. I can't even one. Okay.

That okay? Is that like another language? He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. I'm passing it. Fuck, this is hard. Yeah. Who the hell came up? What demon came up with this? It's Danny. Holy shit. Fuck. Is it even called Ba with the Ba? Yeah, yeah. There's one. All right, so Ba with the Ba. Dude, Kid Rock gets the biggest rub on this show now that I think about it. Yeah, he does. Yeah. Dude, every week, Kid Rock comes up. Kid Rock was Doe Bartis. Yeah, it's... I want to be a cowboy baby. Cowboy. Cowboy. That's true. Damn, dude. I want to be a cowboy baby. I'd almost rather get like a fucking calculus question than this. Which one you did? The... Can I contribute as well? Yeah. It's his combined effort.

Which ones did you have? You had cowboy. Cowboy and Ba with the Ba, which I think that's what it's called. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that was my contribution. Did he make five songs? Yes. Oh, dude, he made a... He actually... Doesn't he have a crazy selling like album too? Yeah, The Devil Without a Cause. Yeah. Went platinum. Is that a song? Yes. Devil Without a Cause. That's three. Oh, smart guy. Smart move. There's a big one. He remade a song that was a huge song. Like, was it his originally? No, no, it was a huge song. Also, great cameo in Joe Dirt. Oh, fantastic. There was nobody better than he was in there. Oh, but he's coming at me all wrong. Yeah, that's right. You better get out of here now.

Get on, Joe. Oh, he's coming at me all wrong. Oh, God, dude. He's doing it again. Best voice ever. I can't think of any more. Let me ask you a question. Nobody wants you ramped. Does your mother sew? Boom. That guy saved him. That guy saved him. He's like, no, he didn't. I love Joe Dirt's classic. I don't know if they're doing another thing. Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt. Amazing. He's just sitting there. He's like, are you just here? The sound when it's dick gets hard. The way he just goes into like Whiskering. You just saved us. No, no, I didn't. It was him. No, no, it was you. Dude, that fucking movie is so classic. Amazing. Nobody wants you ramped. Yeah, that's the guy. But I would say

that's our three. I mean, who else named it? It was actually a group. It was like this kid from Barstool. And then like these two kids from Barstool, they were able to get them. But it took them a while. Sounds about right. Over at Barstool. Sounds about right. Oh, what are two other songs that you guys can say now? No, you don't give them away. Damn, people are going to give you away. It's like, damn, you want to just go. The guests are the ones that are going to have to know it, but they don't like it. So you guys forgot Picture by Cheryl Crow. I put your picture away. He redid that. No, no, no, that's not the song. That was the one he redid. Okay, yeah, I do know that song. Now that we named five songs,

I realized I was black in year 2000. I'll never go to the widest fucks. No, I'll never. I like, I mean, voting Trump. They're in 2020. There are things about kid rock. I obviously love because I grew up with his music. But like, it's just so funny seeing that. And then he's like, Oh, by the way, I do hip hop. Yeah, I love how not in shape he was. That was my favorite thing. The alien guys, the cricket guys on MIB. No chest muscle whatsoever. And just kid rock. But pounded hotties and baggy wife beaters. And Pan Waierson. Everybody did. That's not really an accomplishment. And anybody hung out with what's his name, the little guy that passed the way. Yeah, only God knows why it was the other song he made for a little Stevie something.

No, it wasn't Stevie. I need a J. Josie. Josie. Is that what it was? Who do people tell you you look like? I'm like, fucking God, I get Ed Bassmaster and Dave Chappelle sometimes. I can see that. Yeah, I don't know why I get Dave Chappelle. And I get I get Ed Bassmaster. Oh, I get Nick Kroll, which is the fucking weird. Also, by the way, I had a dream before I came here last night. He couldn't make it. So we had Nick Kroll was my fucking stand in brother and he brought me here and had an interview. Weirdest fucking dream ever. That'd be a great show. I said, I was like, I'm pretty sure they'd be like, you know, could you get Nick and Jared to come through? Do you get Jonas Brothers ever? I get Nick Jonas sometimes. Yeah,

I get Nick Jonas Channing and Channing Tatum and some dude from the basement yard sometimes. Yeah, all the time. He said he gets Adam Sandler. Danny also gets random people, though, that no one it knows. Like there's like the like there will be people or even people from like my stream. Sometimes they'll send me a picture like my like my boy Rico looks almost like just like you. And then this other kid Aki, he sent a picture that we were putting up their pictures on this wall in this game and he had a fucking WWF belt or WWE belt and upside down, bro. I'm gonna send you Danny looks like a rock. They want me to turn the picture upside down. Like, no, I'm keeping it. It looks exactly like Danny, like in his new house with a fucking huge fireplace and just a WWE

belt going across the chest. People have said I've looked like The Rock. Really? Really? No, no, they have. It's like Frankie with with fucking Jason. I'm the bolder, the bigger version, the rounder version of The Rock. Who do you get? I get Swiss Beats. And I get what I have sunglasses on, especially. I actually had a guy woke up to me like, yo, Swiss. And I was like, no, basically anybody who could be bald and from like Iran or Iranian or like Iran or something like that. We get like, I get you like that. I get Juno Diaz, who's an author. I've never read anything. People think we're Middle Eastern too. Yeah. Oh, people always think I'm from Middle East. Yeah. Can we talk about like how I I think I'm a kind of fashion icon, I think. I think

there's things that I've started. Okay. Okay. And it was like dressing like shit. Like there would be like, I would wear like a sweatshirt and old shorts. No, you know, we started dressing with Timberland boots. Little John that used to hang out with Power Mike. Hey, coolie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the cool. Wait, whoa, we won that, John. Oh, shit. Power Mike was a guy that would probably take you behind the special case and fuck your ass. Yeah. Power Mike was a power Mike who tripped on too much acid in Vietnam and never stopped tripping. And then we had a kid that wore a pouch around his neck all the time. Yeah, who's that? So you were saying your fashion icon for like, like being like bohemian-esque and dressing like

shit. I'm going to tell you this right now. I'm going to tell you this. He stole it from me. Who did? Because I was poor. I have not seen that robe on more people in my life than recently. I saw you. I would say I saw it the first time I ever saw it was on you. What? That robe. I know it existed, but I've never seen it. I've never seen it as an outerwear piece. Nobody was doing that. But I'm also going to say this. I'm also going to say this though, and not hating on you. There have been several things that you've worn that I would never wear that in my life. You know what my favorite Danny attire is though? When you had the blonde. But I've never seen that robe anywhere. When Danny had the blonde and was wearing like skinny, like

you ever watched you ever watched the show Gamora? You ever see it was like the Italian like mob series that was on Netflix? No. Danny looked so genuine like Guido mobster from Italy. And I was like, this dude, like this is someone that you want to pick on. He's going through stuff. But if you knew it, this dude's killed easily 10 people and seven of them he was friends with. I'll get you clipped. I'll get you clipped. Yeah, I'll get you clipped. Just for looking at me the wrong way. That's so fucking. What's something you have to do every day? Oh, shit. Jerk it. Every day. Every God. I jerk off every day. Every day. Every day. I'll fucking come, bro. Every day. I got the I got the skin scabs to prove it to. I got scars on my dick to clean it. I love fucking

jerking off. Jerking it easily. Something I have to do every day. Have to do it. I got the skin scabs. You don't jerk off every day. I don't fucking. There may have been a time when I did, but it's so adventurous still to this day. Yeah, it's like, what else? Like, I can't wait for this new come. Yeah. I did it twice before I got here. I'll tell you that this morning. That's so cool. That's cool. Something I have to do every day. I don't know, probably, probably like take a little hit of butt. I think that's something I have to do every day, not like smoke heavy, but I just think like a little hit of butt is something that I need every day. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I smoke weed really good when you could talk while smoking weed. See, everyone has their ways of relaxing. You smoke

butt, I smoke my dick. You smoke turns into like a fucking, like a fire after. Yeah, I smoke my dick like a goddamn chimney. This is going to be your least, your least watch showed. No, it's going to be huge. People have been asking for you guys for a long time. Rate yourself from one to 10. Encompassing everything. Looks, you know, whatever, cock size. Fuck, bro. I would honestly say seven. I would say seven point five. Nice. I think I'm a decent looking dude. Yeah, for sure. I don't, I don't, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm bald because you look like me. I'm actually agreeing. I always said if you took Michael and Danny and they had a kid, like it would look like, yeah, yeah, I think so too. But I would say 7.5. I got a really good personality, I'd say. I agree. And

I might be older now, but when I'm in bed, I'm telling you, I'm a fucking jackrabbit. So that's a mom calls in. She's like, I tried to call in the show to confirm that your jackrabbit story is true. I'm just saying not every girl has came to put a good amount of them have came. Yes, or come to run the credits. Yeah. Yeah. You ever just be in there and just play. Yes, isn't that. Yeah. I don't know, man. I think I got some shit to offer. 7.5. Yeah, man. You got a lot of shit, bro. 7.5. Yeah. I'd say I'm bold. I'm probably 7.5. I'd give myself that now that I'm like, you know, I'm still, I'm still, you know, I got two kids with two different women, bro. That's, that's a big hit. That's a big hit. That's a Russian judge. We're gonna have to break

the Russian judge. Take that away. Take that away. I'm a 12. That's losing it. Yes. If it's credit, if it's credit score and the kids are involved, you're going down to at least a 500. Yeah. Yeah. That's a 500 or a 469 or something like that. Which in baseball is very good. Dude. Yeah. All-star. Dude. Still good. But both of your kids are awesome. So that's a plus though. Right. Right. But it's still good. Yeah. It's like, I took great ingredients for myself and mediocre ingredients from everyone else and made an amazing meal. There you go. Right. Right. You work or watch a half? I'm working. Yes. You work or watch a half. You asked me that question years ago. I would have been like a three and started crying. Yeah. What game show would you

guys have the best chance on? Oh, fuck. I would say I would have... I broke your mic. No, no, no. You didn't. I would say Family Feud. You'd be good at Family Feud. Family Feud. Yes. I know. What would you have on there? Are you saying solo or can it be something like that? No, I could be something like that. Family Feud? I mean, my family. I would want... There's 14 if you say. I can't have all. I know. I would say these two and like my cousin's John or Daniel or Christian. Whoever can fit in there, I'd get this. What show would I do the best on? Because it would be fucking hilarious. I'll tell you what show Danny has impressed me with multiple times. And I don't know if he remembers this. Danny would turn into like Rain Man

when he came to fucking Wheel of Fortune. It's the weirdest thing. Like one letter. He'd be like lemon meringue pie. Yeah. My sister just had two. An hour later, the thing would come up and I'd like, there's no way it's lemon meringue pie. And it would fucking be lemon meringue pie. That's how my dad is. All DVR'd episodes. The clue? Yeah. The clue is like thing and it'll be like B. And my sister's like, the fox jumped over the lazy. I'm like, how the hell would you... Every single word. It happens out of nowhere. But I remember Jar was just like one time. It was just like, yo. And I was just like, I don't know. Yeah. I just kept watching. I was like, I don't know. Dude. Yeah. My dad's like that. My dad knows like actor's heights from back in the day. I'm like, how the fuck are you

rich? You know what I found myself randomly being good at? Like I shocked myself. Who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah. So when you do that, would that be your show? I was going to go family feud first, but I don't want to dick ride. I was... My dad with our dad would answer questions on fucking Jeopardy from another room while like fixing a sink. Yeah. Yeah. Like what is Kosovo? Yeah. And he'd be like, no. He'd be like, sorry. He'd be like, yeah. He'd be like, what is Serbia? Like incorrect it. And I'm like, what the fuck? My dad would do that. He'd be sitting at the edge of the table in the dining room in the dining room in the kitchen and the living room were like connected. But he was on the opposite side. Just sitting there like reading the newspaper,

like having beer or whatever. And Jeopardy be on and I go to change the show. And he's like, what are you doing? I'm watching that. Yeah. You're not even looking at the fucking TV. And our sleeping. I don't have to look at it. There are people like that. I also felt like dads never wanted to like participate in games. Yeah. But then they would and then be really good at them. Yeah. My dad used to do a crossword every single night. He used to do a crossword every single night. Which makes you so much smarter than everybody else off rip. It's like if you take karate twice a week, you're already more skilled. But he would always ask my mom for the answers. Another fun fact. My dad, my dad calls my mom, John. Does he? Why? I say it's because he wishes

he was gay. But he would have a crossword problem. I was like thinking it. And I don't know. He'd just be like, John, what's a five letter word for air balloons? Right? Right. Or John. Of course. What's your name? Elizabeth. Dude, that's fucking hilarious. Guess what they call her? Guess what they call her? Biz. Oh, that's great. That's his daughter's name. That's hilarious. So your show would be who wants to be a millionaire. I've had some. I'm walking away at least 250. Who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah. Who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah, yeah. Coming up next. That's good. Read this. Coming up next. Is that it as far as questions? One last question. Yes. The last question is. Yes. Are you happy today? I'm incredibly happy. And the reason is is because

I never leave my fucking house. And these two guys here have been pushing for me to fucking get the fuck out and do stuff. So baby steps and to anybody out there who doesn't like leaving your fucking house, leave the fucking house tonight. You're not going to die. I promise. Go outside. Go outside. Go outside. Go outside. Go outside. The answer is I'm incredibly comfortable here. I'm having a great time. I'm super happy. And I want to fuck everybody. This is your wheelhouse. This is your. Am I happy today? Yes. I mean, I woke up happy. So and this is a plus, obviously. Nice. I've been looking forward to it. I was like, Joe was like, you know, he started the show. He's like, you know, one more brewery is probably enough. There's definitely got to be

like an FDA or some something. Yeah, we're going to violate some rules. Yeah, we're going to get demoted. I'm like, Joe, how's the show? He's like, I canceled after you fucking asked you guys a question on a scale from one to 10. What number of me not coming here being the highest, what did you think? Did you think I was going to come here today? Yes. Yeah. Once I knew he was involved, I bumped up to an eight before 3.6. No, even with Jared, I was like, no, I got to learn that subway. I guess 8.2. Yeah. Once I heard Jared was like, yo, I'm driving. So I was like, all right, still room margin for error here. But before that, I was like, I'll give him a 3.6. Yeah. I'm going to get a text in the morning, being like, you know, I drank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be like,

yo, man, see you grow out. Yeah. Just type out the call because I don't even want to get on the phone. So the world knows, like Michael skips all events. Yeah. Yeah. So you two guys have done something special. Dude, we've seen Mike, my little brother to come out of the house to come to party. Dude, he meant it. Like after this, this, this, no one ever, this is never going to happen again. This could end up being your least watch show, but it's going to be the most Joe and me were talking to each other at seven in the morning in order to come see Danny. I was, I was the only way it was going to work. I was hungover. I was hungover and I was talking to, I was talking to Mike and I'm like, yo, let's go surprise Danny his apartment because you've

never been there. Right. And I was so happy. And then he's like, it's like, yeah, we could go tomorrow, like whatever. And I was like, dude, it takes 20 minutes for me to get there. If you say yes, I'll be in my car. And he goes, okay. And then I just put my phone in my pocket and ran out the door and then picked him up. I'm pretty sure there's a text. I'm pretty sure there's a text after him asking us to go today where I'm like, I do it, bro. I was like, I'm outside. So yeah. So did you, I'll ask both of you. Did you think like this is what you were going to be doing at this age? What was the other plan? What were you going to school for? You were, you wanted to go into like physical therapy or phys ed, right? That was the thing,

right? And then realized that you had to be smart to do that. And I think I paved the way in 2013 show that it was possible. What were you doing? What were you planning? Because I mean, this fame obviously comes on from certain things. And then you're like, all right, this has legs. We're going to go somewhere with it. I'm going to, we're going to fuck you. Money. Money legs. Yeah. Money legs, right? You're looking at it. What were you going to do before this? Honestly, like before you were the broadcast guy, when I was young, when I was in high school, my senior year, I was like, I was just lying to my parents like crazy. So because I lied to them that I applied to a bunch of colleges and I like forwarded out this, I didn't apply anywhere. And then it

was like the last like week you can apply to whatever it was already too late. So I just applied to the community college and like they take anyone. So I got into there. Is your heart beating? Yeah. And then after I did a semester in my GPA was like, it was like a three, five, I was three, four, three, five or something. Fucking nerd. Yeah. So then, so then the next semester I signed up and then I just like couldn't go for whatever reason. I would like drive to school and then just sit in my car. Cause I was like, I really can't go. Yeah. It was weird. I was like, I can't go in there. But you, you were going to study. What though? I don't know. Anybody know in community college, my dad was a fireman and he retired in 98. So I was like,

great job. I, and I took that test. Nobody hates firemen. People hate cops. We all took that test. All my brothers took the test too. Yeah. Oh, you aced it? Yeah. Cause you're hot, all firemen, all hot fire guys. The only thing not worth. Yeah. If you were a fireman, you'd be so yoked, yoked, probably and have like a weird tribal tattoo and earrings. Yeah. And then like ladder 36 going down your fucking whatever. Yeah. Like a ladder all the way down your chest. You're fucking good. I took, I actually, you know, I took, I took the police, uh, examined and scored like a 90 on it. They never called me. And then they were like, I could have got 120 on that exam. They still wouldn't have called me back. I got a 99 and I was like 5000th in line. Right.

Yeah. So it's like, it's like crazy. Cause you could get bonus points when you get higher on the job. They couldn't, they would have, you would have fixed some. You do get some bonus points for that. But like, come on, come on. There's other people who get bonus points like other things. You woke up happy today? I did. I did. I did. I'm, I'm actually in a very good place right now. Yeah. I'm happy. I'm happy for you, man. Joe, you woke up happy. Haha. Haha. Yeah. I feel like Joe usually, I mean, there's obviously an anger there, but I feel like Joe's also, I feel like Joe's also, Joey can go back to Joe. Joe has, look, he gets happy. Joe. Oh no. You want to know what it is? I would say like, it's like manic. Like when Joe is like happy, it's like the happiest person.

He's the happy wanderer. Oh my God. He just wants to smash his skull. Like this guy. He's like, what's up? You want to go to the park? I'm like, Joe, if you don't get the fuck out of my room. This guy is just a bundle of joy. This is a bundle of joy. Yeah. But if it's like business, Joe. Yeah. CEO Joe. Yeah. CEO Joe, as we call him. CEO Joe. Get out of the way. Get off the tracks. I'll never, that motherfucker is going to run over. I'll never, I'll never forget our first, our first conversation when we were building your computer was absolutely hysterical because it was just you and me going, I don't know what the fuck this is. I'm like, Joe, shut up, Joe. I'm like, fucking listen. You're like, I don't know what the fuck this is. They were telling each other shut the like,

fuck up and like, first like, this kid is just perfect. Cause when Danny, when Danny did his first interview, I knew you guys cause he told me you guys were friends for a while, but then you guys started doing, I was like, it's gotta, you guys gotta be a fucking camera on these two when they're doing it. And I was like, yeah, this is like the brother Danny needs while he's in the city. Yeah. That's how I thought about it. It's true. It's true. You guys meshed. I never thought about it like that. That's very true. It's very true. Fuck. Yeah, man. That's, it's a beautiful. He also liked, you guys are fucking. Yeah. He teaches me like how to like be a normal person. You guys are killing. That's like what I'm trying to do too. It's very hard

for me. So many times, so many times I've met people recently that were just like, they're like, wait, your last name's low priori. And I'm like, yeah. And they're just like, you related to Danny and Michael. You know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, those are my brothers that are like, dude, we've been watching them like since Vine. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, we watch, you know, Basement Yard now, we watch Michael on Twitch and all this. And it's so funny because it's like, well, not so much funny, but it's like, it's awesome because all I cared about as an older brother is that they just didn't follow my lead too much. Yeah. I mean, and here they are. They're both just, you know, I didn't. Content, I didn't make it. Kidless,

Felon Lien, Felon Lien. Felon Lien. Felon Lien. Felon Lien. Felon Lien. Yeah. Gunmoon Lien. Yeah. Yeah. Gunmoon Lien. Gunmoon Lien. Gunmoon Lien. Definitely have more S.T.s. By the way, I didn't realize that the show was that big until we started going to other cities to hang out and we're getting love. Mad love. How dope is that? Yeah. I was when we were in Miami, I was walking out of a diner and a guy pulls up in his van, just goes, Danny, I love you. Yeah. That's it. That's it. And I was like, you know, this is so dope. You know, and you talk about it too. And like, and I'm sure you're famous the same way, where it's just like, you kind of look at it and you're just like, you think about it like, I would never be that asshole that just

doesn't say hello to somebody that's like a fan. I could never. You know what I mean? Like, it's a little weird. And I'm sure for most people, like when you're super duper famous, that's right. Different. It's tiring. It's exhausting. But it's just like, you don't grab a stellar mic on the way over here. It's like the impact you guys have on someone who's having a s**t day that could tune everything out and just listen in the basement yard or follow you on Twitch and laugh. Like, that's magic, bro. It really is a special thing. And even though you take it lightly in all of this and you're like, this is what we do. So is that and getting just weird ass pink penises being sent to me sometimes. Yeah. Well, that, which I've gotten on Snapchat.

That's also magic. I'm like this weird European dude once. Dude, yeah. And if that was your lifestyle, let me take a bow. I'll show you the rest. No, but it's yeah. But it is a special thing. And you guys get to go into the homes and f**king heads and ears of other people. Yeah. Make them laugh. It's a special thing. Yeah. I mean, that's the best part about it. Yeah. The money's good though. The money's good too though. Money's good too. That's it. Yeah. We're going to have to turn him upside down. Yeah. What kind of commercials do you guys, it's all advertising that pays the s**t? Like, is that how that works? Yeah. Yeah, it's all advertising. Well, that was a good show. Yeah. That was a good show.

Yo, we, Dave Chappelle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, wait, I'm like, wait, so are you guys selling like, oh, yeah, yeah. You selling blow to it? Who says something about, oh, but you cook it? I do love sponsor voices though, because it's always like, it's always like, all right, anyway, we got something from our sponsors here. Rubalow f**king gum. It lasts longer than your average. Like, your brother Danny has a job. I'm like, you know, they, you can tell no one ever likes doing the sponsors. He's like, gum to the sun. You get this, you get this, you get this.

And that's basically it. How about it? Yeah. How about it's friend Joe? Does he work? He doesn't really have a job. We love that. We love sponsors. Where's your office? We're on top of his coffee table right now. Continue success. You f**king losers. Thank you. I appreciate you guys coming on. Yeah, this was great. This was awesome. I hope we do. Do you shake or suck dicks? Do you want to plug your Twitch channel and s**t? Oh, Jesus Christ. Twitch.tv forward slash Michael underscore low priori. I feel like I just said, how do I remember that? Say that again? Yeah, well, say it again in English. Twitch.tv forward slash Michael underscore low priori. And you guys can find me. I'm always

interacting with people and it's a fun time. It's live streaming. It's like six hours, but it's fun. I don't have any social networks. Instagram is Michael underscore low priori. Because the truth is, I don't want to talk to anybody. Here you go. This is my limit. This is as much worldly as he's got to fix for the rest of his life. Yeah, that's it. Well, hundreds of thousands of people are going to see this. When you got 15 baby moms, you can't be on Instagram. There's a crowd of f**king women just standing outside of Joe's house right now. Yeah, Danny looked so desperately right now. He's like, it's true. It's just that one shake so desperately. He's like, I told you, he's the alpaca sweater. And just one more time,

if you guys do it, can you just edit me out? Michael, priori killing it. Do my thing. Bronx, New York, born out of the hospital. You