The Basement Yard - Throwing Up On The Living Room Floor

Episode Date: April 12, 2016

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Welcome back to the basement yard. It is Monday April 11th. I don't know. You know what month it is It kind of fucked up, uh, and I'm and I'm with I'm with DeVino. He's back He's back to in a row like the good old days like the good old days. Let me know fuck does that mean See let's find out days when your fucking mom wouldn't let you hang out with me because she thought I smoked crack You did smoke crack. I did not smoke crack. You had to believe her. I was 11 She wouldn't let me hang out with you. Yeah, she told me stop it. She goes don't hang out with Joey Santa got my dad was like your nuts Anthony go you can hang out with yeah, I'm a nice boy You know she'll exaggerate. She thought I was smoking crack at the fucking prime age. I saw him

I saw him pass it. I saw him pass the weed Yeah, it's nine o'clock right now someone asked me where the podcast was and you know, I would have done it But uh, I was waiting for this fucker. Oh shit, and you any uh, just got here like 10 minutes ago. I did anyway Let's just let's just get right into it. Do it. Well, I wanted to just I know you wanted to talk about some shit But I tweeted about this earlier, but it's so random these kids in LA right first of all If you're from LA and you're listening to this, I'm sorry but Fucking hate LA time out shout out to the California girls

As a phenomenal song but still hate it there I went there dude. Everyone was either dressed like Justin Bieber. Oh or Tyler the creator like Everyone either a kid had a skateboard or like a coffee and circular song They roll up there like their pants at the ankle too. Yeah, not with it. No, yeah Yeah, it's like a lot of it's like just a lot. You know what I mean and like a boat shoes But these kids is bad random like on Instagram. I always see like first of all these kids from LA who are like YouTubers are like vine people or whatever their Instagrams are like

flawless Like every picture has been edited perfectly They're all shot with amazing cameras and I'm like who the fuck is just following these kids Taking these fucking pictures. They go out of their way to make themselves look good. That's what you're saying Yeah, I'll use this camera. I'll make me look good. It's what like I I'm just confused because there's random pictures of like Them in a coffee shop Laughing and not looking like who the fuck like are they hiring and the lighting is perfect everything they added everything Oh, they must have they at least have like 37 pictures on their Instagram. That's it. They can't be what all that work

Shit, no dude. It's just so much. No, no, or they you know, I you know I fucking hate the picture of like when people do a an aerial shot of their like desk or some shit Oh, and it's are like their breakfast. Yeah, you know what I mean? I think I think the coffee and then the plate with the eggs in black and white. No, it's in like some fucking I don't even know and it's like a wood table. I hate it all. What's the caption the fuck no today's dreams Today's dreams I don't know. No, yeah, but it all comes back to people just needing to I don't know look cooler. I don't fuck it like probably

Some people's Instagram they take it so fucking seriously go with the likes. Oh man a hundred likes. Yeah, 10 minutes, dude I know some kids I've met some of these kids on YouTube and they just take everything so fucking seriously They'll post a picture and stare at the numbers to make sure they're like going up Accordingly, you know, I mean that's stupid all my followers. So I should get this amount of light. Yeah It's like it did I don't do I forgot who it was. Oh fuck. I wish I knew who it was because I don't give a shit

I'll say their name Damn it. I forgot who it was but someone I remember someone posting a picture and going oh, it's not Getting a lot of likes right now. I'm gonna take it down. They took it down They took it down and they posted it like later in the day. I was like Dude, why does that fucking matter? It's only 10 o'clock. No, no, this is terrible. It's so weird I don't understand that shit, man. Oh, no, I gotta post that 8 a.m.. When everyone's waking up Yeah, and I just fucking I just I was thinking about the other day with snapchat like in the snapchat stories like Jesus I'll randomly go on my snapchat and just watch people's stories and some people have like

Like they got rid of the seconds thing so you can't actually see how fucking shitty someone is wait. They didn't Oh, there's no more seconds wait you could put it to 10 seconds No, I'm saying like oh you can't see it You know when you used to be able to watch people's story and it's like 230 seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah now fuck There's none of that anymore. So now but people have like the entire night And I know I've seen an entire concert and I'm like you gotta be Bored like stop. That's that's another thing. I don't understand people go to concerts and take their phones out I'm like you're you're there. That's terrible. Why are you gonna watch that footage?

You're already there. It's it's all I gotta record this, but it's like you're not looking at the band You're looking at your phone. So the moment just mm-hmm. Yeah, like I said when I went to Disney this year Were you with us for the for the fireworks? No, I met up with you when we went there We saw yeah, we went to Animal Kingdom. We saw the fireworks and Sammy was recording the fireworks and I'm like Listen, I know you want to record it. Just do me a favor and don't look at the phone. Look at the exact look at the life Yeah, exactly happening in reality if you want to record it fine. Don't look at the screen. Look at life Yeah, because I don't know man. It's so dumb like when I go when you see like videos of concerts now

Everyone has their phones out. It's like yeah, I've seen I went to EDC and I've seen I've seen people pull out their iPads dude like You bring out your iPad It is mad big. I'm like, yo, you are a loser speaking of iPads. I just bought The iPad Pro I'm pointing in that direction. There's nothing over there. I'm sorry I'm like what it's here. No, I bought a iPad Pro dude. They're twelve point nine inches across It's fucking huge you better play some good games on there I don't know what I'm gonna do like clash of clans. I bought that and an Apple pencil Very fucking dumb. That's the pencil was a hundred dollars. I should buy the watch you're throwing money like like

You know I'm saying you got a laptop a computer. I should get it. I don't have a laptop That's why I bought it. I think that's true I gave my laptop to Keith because I don't use it I really want to watch an Apple watch the Apple watch is the dumbest fucking thing now cool I'd look like a fucking idiot. I'd wear as cool as fire. I'd go scuba diving with that shit. It's a water resistant. No Maybe I just I make it happen. I'm sure there are cases just wrap a Plastic bag over your fucking wrist dude seren wrap, but the Apple watch is so fucking dumb Why do you need to answer a text message on your wrist?

Yo, because sometimes, you know putting like when you're putting your phone in your jeans like your pocket and you're like The pocket comes out with the phone and you got to put it back You got to stand up. It's bad when you could just say hey when you could just do the with oh ring ring ring Oh what time is it? Oh my text message get it? No, that you're you can you can deal with your fucking pocket For how much is it? I think on Amazon 229. That's why I'm yeah, no, no, it's like definitely 321 Hmm. It's a very specific. I don't know so it's like 300 to 400 dollars I will regret it, but I'm because I'm an electrician so I gotta stick my hands into walls crack screen Why the fuck would you get it then?

For my blood pressure. I don't know man. I really don't know why don't you just get like a fit bit or some shit? Yeah, I want a Nike watt. What do you feel I had one garbage because like I said I stuck my hand into a wall to grab a wire and Split oh, and you think a little fragile screen on your wrist isn't gonna fucking break. Yo one day I'll be able to FaceTime on that screen and shoot a laser out of it James Bond Do you remember? I don't know if you saw us, but on I'm burping over here But on Facebook they always have those like fake videos of like iPhones Like new oh the new iPhone has this okay, and it was the one I was like a hologram on your fucking forearm

Like Tony Stark, I've seen that can you imagine that that's what that's what's gonna happen I'll be excited or the the hologram fucking keyboard that comes out and all of this I've seen that you type on the table Imagine oh boy all of this shit is completely Unnecessary I can't and just shitty We don't need anything else. I feel like we're good for like ten years. I told you I didn't buy the watch it boy It be tech phones. I bought them. Oh so Go to the gym with them

You're gonna go to gym with your beats headphones the wireless ones the ones that go Bluetooth and they like the cord Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, actually I don't mind those. I don't mind right You know, it's funny the kid who sat next to me at elite skits out He had an Apple I watch and those headphones So you're trying to fucking douchebag. I should buy a bowl. Huh? I should buy a bowl. No, no, no I think that's what you're telling me. That's a lot of how much were the headphones to 21. That's not bad No, it's not cuz Amazon's great. I Have Amazon Prime. So do I it's beautiful. I love it. What is it like $80 a year? Yeah

How much is it oh, yeah, we go clutch no, but it is dude I forgot what I bought I think it like a phone charger cuz like I the chargers just disappear in this fucking house Hey, so I bought a charger and like you get free two-day shipping with Perfect, but for some reason there was same-day shipping and I was like, thank you That's like six o'clock at night. I got a another charger. It was that's dope. I like that. This really does sound like a fucking I don't I don't put it. I wish I love it. Send me money. I'd be sick. Oh What oh

Shit fucking Amazon Prime I buy everything on Amazon. Have you I have the app Go on buy some things look at things. Whatever, you know, I typed in sex toys one day. I was on page like 45 I was just looking at shit sex toys time out. I remember one time in Connecticut, right? Yep, you're in Connecticut sitting in a post house, and I Don't know how Connecticut. I They must have seven channels and then one of them was this Infra it was a can it was like QVC where they just sell things all day. All right, but there was only I remember this it was only sex toys And they would have them like on a spinning plate like you know in the microwave go and it starts spinning slowly they they would have these

extravagant dildos on These plates and they would just spin and they would sell them People love that shit. You don't see them in the city now the stores with the dildos in the windows I can't believe it time out. There was one in Soho and one before you get on the 59th Street Bridge a Dildo shop swear on everything. What was it called? I don't know But damn they had some dildos with the feathers at the end. I'm like damn girls get create Tim, why do you need feathers? Well, you know, you know, I don't know don't go so hard tickle. I didn't understand this who why do you need balls on

a dildo the clap Is that it? Yeah, that's the pressure of the the ball. It's not the same. What do you just that think you get lost in there? Yeah, yeah, it's also like a stopper. Yeah Imagine oh, it's too fine now God forbid it slips out of your hands. Those things can get slick, you know rap those things could get slick when you're down there Yeah, so if you just throw your eyes or clothes probably. Yeah, I'm not a big fan. I've had you get stuck in there Oh my god, you know the dildos that look like I Don't know like you know like a would you put your toothbrush in when you travel? Yes, like one of us

They probably use those cheap. Yeah, but those are those are trash like I hate looking at those You know I mean like if I watch a porn the girl pulls out one of those I'm like this girl I shut it off. I'm like this sucks. Yeah, I know like if you're gonna use a dildo get a dildo It looks like a dick. It's been sculpted. You know, this is 2015. You get one of those. That's like lame It's like using a fucking I Don't even like one of those big-ass TVs that is in a flat screen. You know I mean come on Can't flip phone you got a flip phone. Why my mom you got a dildo that doesn't have a vein on it Come on

The fuck's going on. I'm still thinking about the fact of having a dildo without bowls like imagine like hello 911 yet as a dildo You really got to hold on to that thing. Yeah, they really should have come with like a grip. Yeah, like some gloves A glove that's permanently on Dude speaking of this time out and I'm So I've been watching the show billions on showtime. This is gonna sound like another fucking advertisement I was watching the show billions on on showtime and it's about like hedge fund owners and all this fucking shit but

That one of the guys in it is into like crazy Dominatrix Him and his wife him and his wife do it and he goes to like this secret club to do it Oh, they're swingers. No, no, no, they do it in the privacy of their home But there's also like a sex club. I'm assuming and dude if these places exist like he was in there Right, he's he's in this club and he's on the phone with his wife and she's like Tell me what you see and like she's like the dominant one so he like likes to give in to her fucking, you know, whatever and

He's like telling her and she goes and she's telling him to like get on his knees in the middle of some place I would lie big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on my knees. No Fuck so mad embarrassing. Anyway, but he I guess he likes that. He likes the you know, whatever There was a guy strapped to like this X like it was like a It wasn't a like a it looked like the guy was being crucified But not a cross it was an X and he has legs and arms on it and he had a fucking leather mask over his head a Mouth see a whole could so you could breathe those come standard and

See no could not see could not see a thing and This woman was just beating him with a whip the guy was loving it. Oh See, I can't do that. I wouldn't I'm not I'm not I'm not a fan of that That's a lot not the wild sex. Yeah, but don't strap me in tie me and hit me with the whip I mean, we we talked about hit me with your hands You want to be hit by a whip you wouldn't get hit by a stick. No, exactly Yeah, I don't know what that does like I think I guess I get it instant going from solid as a rock to up trim I don't I don't really think that

likes Like there has to be an issue somewhere. Yeah in the line for you to be like I just need to get Whipped I just needs it. I just need some people could enjoy. I know somebody who's a swinger and came up to me Yeah, man. Oh, I got this girl, right and she she has her period, bro So I can't even do anything, but I was gonna fuck my boy's girlfriend tonight. You know I'm saying and I'm like time out. Oh See she you're gonna fuck your boy's girlfriend and give him this chick. Yeah I'm like if my boy ever wanted to try to fuck my girlfriend. He'd get instantly fucked up You know say people do that. I can't ah yo, man. You want to fuck my girl tonight? Yeah, bro. Sure. No, that's kind of it's

Weird like I I mean Totally I'll watch bro. There are people who are polyamorous who they have multiple relationships You know what I mean? That's fine, but you're not gonna call me and tell me you want to fuck my girlfriend No, unless they knew that you'd be like, oh, yeah You're looking forward to the weekend. Yo, I'm gonna walk. Yeah, you're gonna fuck my boy tonight, and I'm gonna fuck some random I don't know. It's kind of wild so many when you think about it. No one's fucking my girlfriend You have a girlfriend. No I'm good. I'm chill

So like I think that the the the term for that is Cock-hold or something which just like Sounds dangerous. Damn cock-hold. I don't even know. I don't know. I've never heard of the word. It sounds like Like Someone's being suffocated or something Cock-hold cock-hold. Is that what you said? Yeah, I feel like your cocks being held too tight Like that's what I see right now. I mean too tight too tight. I don't know much I don't know man. I'm not I'm not a fan of that shit

I can't fuck with that and also like the dude on the show He had like this thick-ass leather belt or something see strapped across his face in his mouth Oh, which like kept his mouth open like I don't just like dude. Yeah, that's so weird I don't know. I just don't get it shout out to the people who are into that. Yeah, I mean how do you look forward to that? I don't know. I There's got to be something that happened It can't be like this is what I I want someone to call me a pussy and then step on my balls with high heels

I need to be able to move run Talk Everything you know, you know, you're gonna tie me up. I can't nope No, no, no, I'll let you tie like my left arm. Yeah, because I could throw a crazy right hook But like just in case like you can get like You can get uh my left arm. I can't get a like need my legs. If you tie my legs up. I think I'll go crazy I can't I can't do it Put me in a cage, right?

No, oh crazy ladies that show billions It makes me feel so fucking poor because I mean it's called billions or middle class and um The guy who's the main guy in it. He's a he owns a hedge fund and he just trades billions of dollars all fucking day And he just has whatever the fucking one he like bought Uh a mansion in the Hamptons for I don't know how much it costs, but damn Like upfront pay for the entire thing. There you go. You have that much money

You're like you do whatever you want with it. You're just gonna spend it on stupid shit You know what I'm saying like a house a car, but you have one and like you want another and drugs and acid Are you are you telling us what you would be spending your your house? I don't do drugs But I would probably invest my money if I had a million bucks. You know what you go first a million Oh, I'm talking about a billion dollars. All right. You go first. I mean, let me think about this one if I had I mean First of all, I want a private jet Like stat 100 I want one right now See I wanted one 10 minutes ago before we even thought about this shit. Yo

You know I mean you should do it. I don't know how much the jets cost I actually know a girl who has a jet. Well, she doesn't have a jet her parents have a jet And I think it's like It's I don't know man. You gotta pay for the gas and like the the fucking I don't know who cares man You have a billion dollars doesn't matter, but I'm just saying I want a jet if I had a jet. I'm going to school in my jet Landing it on the fucking lawn What else?

No, first of all, I don't I wouldn't want like a giant house like I don't understand like Like 10 bedrooms 16 bathrooms like why the fuck would you need that many bathrooms? Who's shitting? Why do you have more bathrooms than bedrooms is my question? Who's shitting in them people of bathroom? I don't understand this fixation like why do people bathrooms are beautiful looking if you do it Right, but it's a bathroom. Yeah, dude. Just go to the bed. I grew up in a house six people And a dog one fucking bathroom. That's a vicious so and I had mild

IBS which means I'm shitting You know At my at on a fucking bad day five times a day Four of which someone's in there So I gotta hold the fucking thing. That's right. And I made it, you know, I made it, you know, we made it. We made it out We made it out. I Never shit on the floor not one time. I did however Shit myself because of you

What? Yes, you didn't shit yourself. Yes, I did and I've told this story and I'm so glad that it just came up No, you Oh my god, you didn't shit yourself. I shit myself because of you time out. Nobody was home in my house. That's bullshit Nobody I told you nobody was home and my parents. Well, you could have went in bullshit. Oh, oh my god You're gonna lie. I know it was almost outside. There was nobody home. Oh first you're like, oh, no, you didn't shit now You have a whole thing. I can't take this. Okay. If you've heard this story before And you heard the story before your pants

If you heard the story before I just said my friend. I was like my friend. I can't put anonymous You know, I don't want to blow the guy up, but the motherfucker's sitting right here now So here's what happened. It's bullshit. There's a park across the street from devino's house And we were playing basketball and this usually happens literally I want to say 85 of the time we're playing basketball. I have to leave in the middle of the game to take a shit I don't know what it is But like I I don't know all the jumping or whatever bounces them out and I gotta go But I come back

But anyway, this is before I could drive so I didn't really you know, whatever so It's it's like 19 to 17 17 you heard me. It's like 19 to 17 and We're losing Right, so I'm like I have to play So we're we're playing whatever. I'm like, you know what, you know in the back of mind I'm like, I got a friend who lives across the street. I'm good because I already I felt your friend was playing ball with you. I know you were and my stomach was hurting

You know what I mean? You know, you start when you have to take a shit, but it starts like in your chest Yeah, and you're like, okay There's a feeling and then it starts moving and you're like, I don't like this I'm just saying there was a laundry man around the block could have shat there too Yo, you wanted me to shit in a laundry mat. Oh, it's a bathroom. I didn't even know it was a bathroom Nobody was home my house. My mom said nobody could go in I said fine I should have let you shit. I know. Yeah, you should have I'm sorry So I was like, you know, can I shit in your house and you told me no and I was like

And I didn't have time to argue So I left and I'm walking home lost the basketball game by the way I'm walking home. I live on uh Let's just lie right now I live on third street All right, and when I'm on sixth street Everything let's go. I made it first of all I I got like 10 blocks and nine of those blocks

Were hell. I didn't know if I was gonna make it or not. I was holding with every ounce of me Flexing my abs. I haven't had a workout like that in years And when I got like two blocks from my house My body was like, dude, this is all I got Dude what this is all I got that's all the strength I have and my ass was just like I'm done being an ass You know, they're like They opened the floodgates and I was and I was wearing sweatpants and it came out the side of my sweatpants And if something landed on my shoe and I kicked it a little bit

This is all I will swear up and down that this happened And I got into the and I know and someone I don't know if someone was in the living room or whatever Thankfully no one's in the bathroom because I don't know how to explain that smell Yeah, I swear to god did this happen and I got home. I got in the bathroom. Honestly I thought it was gonna be way worse It wasn't it was it was contained But I thought it was just an absolute disaster. It was a disaster. It was shit It was definitely shit

I can't remember when like I could think that I did I don't like I don't know. Have you pissed yourself? That's pretty impressive. I remember when I was younger. I was like It was yeah, I did piss myself when I was little Enough to remember. Yeah, I remember shitting myself in pre-k That's rough. I see I've shot. I've I've shit myself twice that I can recall I fell in someone's throw-up. You fell in someone's throw-up. Yeah, I'll shit on myself five times before I do I was in school and I was I was in school. Great Yeah, we were in like

They're fourth grade maybe. Oh, was it okay. It was a piece too And um, I was walking backwards talking to someone and the teacher was screaming. No, no, no, no, and I Walked into it and I just whoo slip bang right in the back and everyone the whole lunchroom saw me You felt it was it a lot. I was like, what is it that bad? It was pink That's all I remember my mom little kids always throw a pink. I don't think I live across street from the school Yeah, my mom came picked me up and said you're not going back to school go home and shower throughout these damn clothes Dude, okay, so she felt it was on your back all over my head Your head. Yeah, I fell. Oh my did you throw up? No, dude. I didn't know what I fell in

I took the floor to get up and I was like, oh, jeez. What is this? Is this pep-to-bismol? Oh When I mean pink, I mean pep-to-bismol pink. Yeah, so she like chugged a bottle. It looked like Strawberry milk right and chunks just like liquefied bubblegum. I hate it every second of it That's good. I saw a girl in high school wipe out and throw up once because like in my high school for whatever reason kids were like Like the day before a break like winter breaks like oh Joe, let's get hammered and go to school Let's fucking

Down some bruise dude, and then fucking hit the books Dude do it. So like I don't know kids would show up hammered uh on that day And I was in the hallway and I see this kid And he just looks fucked like he's all fucked and I could see him like Because it's a it's a high school hallway. There's people moving everywhere, but he stood out And I could just tell like everyone was moving at a decent pace and he was slow I was like this guy's not okay Sure enough this kid yaks it, right?

And it was pretty like clear for some reason he drank a lot of water or Bacardi or something. I don't know That's what everyone dragon high school. Let's get bacardi razz Dude schmiroff, dude. There's a fucking razz in here, dude. Yeah, man. Yeah, let's get some fucking bacardi big apple Yeah, man peach Let's get some peach. What's the what's get some bacardi fucking berry dragon. Oh, it was berry dragon fruit or something dragon fruit Yeah, I don't know. Oh dude, so So he's so cool. He throws that shit up all over the ground

And uh people are like, oh, what the fuck right, and we're just like, oh, whatever and uh Then this girl she's got too many books and she's strutting She's moving dude, and I'm like she doesn't see it. She doesn't She doesn't see it. She doesn't and I think people are like, oh Don't and she just wasn't paying attention hits the throw up And like like a like a banana in mario kart wipe out like that Fucking spun hit the ground landed in and throw up

and just I I was so snow angel. Maybe I didn't sit down there might as well Might as well clean it up the rest of it, you know, you know, dude, I would throw up I'm just saying him out if I ever Come in contact with her. Oh, it's terrible. I don't even like my own Speaking of that my dad, you know, I you see me Fuck hammered numerous times st. Patrick's day two years ago, I think

Julie just moved in with me I come in have remember that day we was pounding blue moons We were at McKinsey and then we went to Alvin pounding blue moons and then we went to that club remember we didn't go in Oh, yeah, dude, uh, six guys. Yeah, $800. What? Oh that day. I wasn't there 800. Yeah, you came with us and we ended up at sweet spot the place with Uh, what's his name was? Cabo Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's six dudes now. You guys gotta buy a bottle 800 bucks suck my dick I was with my yeah, I'm not doing it. So we get there, right? We go to sweet spot. We keep drinking after that

I go home Julie goes to bed I knock out on the couch sitting up clothe clothes on everything My dad wakes me up in the middle of the night fucking idiot Anthony go to sleep. I'm like, dude, you just made the worst decision of your life He goes go to sleep and I'm like I was sleeping. I was like, I'm fucking hammered So I wake up. I can't go back to sleep the room starts spinning when you know when you start to spin

You know, it's a bad night. Yeah, yo, I went to I went to vomit bro. It came out I tried to stop it with my hands. It's sprayed out like like how can I explain it like a fucking um sprinkler Sides of my nose everything all over the living room floor. No, all right. So I'm sitting there. Is there carpet? Yeah. Oh my god So I'm like, yo, my mom's gonna fuck me up. So I like I I'm hammered still Joe I go I go mom mom. She goes what like she wakes up. I'm like, yo, I threw up on the floor So she thought it wasn't that bad. She comes out. What the fuck

You're fucking idiot. I'm like, mom. I need your help. I can't do it. No, fuck you. You do it Like I'm like I'm hammered still like I'm throwing up as I'm picking up the throw up, right? So So I'm moving it away. I'm cleaning it away and she's fucking on the iPad on the other couch fucking playing bejeweled And I'm like mom. I can't fucking see I don't give a fuck clean it up So now my dad comes like, yo, what what's going on? Oh, fuck. Oh, shit Right and he goes to the bathroom and he just starts fucking vomiting I can't see the shit fucking clean it up. Oh, shit So you throw up on the living room floor your mom's on the couch playing bejeweled and now your dad's in the bathroom throwing up

It was terrible. If I can tell you how many you know, how many times my parents have seen me throw up Like they make front of me they take videos of me the conversations I have intoxicated are so bad I came home and told my parents I had herpes Why did you tell me I don't but like they my dad was laughing my dad's video Recording of me recently when we went to mckent for my birthday. Yeah, McFadden's I got home My dad had my dad woke me up at like five in the morning. Anthony. You gotta get up You're like, I'm like, yo, what time is it? He goes at five o'clock. I was like, oh good night. I gotta go to sleep Like no, good night. You idiot. Good morning. You fuck

You know, I was like, yo, I've had really bad nights I don't know. I'm pretty I'm pretty uh I'm responsible like the other day like two days ago. I was fucking hammered When we went to rockies It was an open bar So I was like hammered and I was like whatever dancing the whole time. I knocked Two beers down at the same time. It was my beer and someone else's I forgot who it was

And I knocked into them. We both dropped our beers So they broke all over the floor And I just kept dancing on the broken glass like I was fucking whatever And uh at like two o'clock in the morning I went to the bathroom And I was peeing and then I saw myself in the mirror and I was like, you got to go home So I that second I called an uber and then went outside call the fucking uber you live on deadmars. I know I know it's what I don't know. I just call I got I got in the uber went home

Uh And I actually forgot my card at the at the bar. Yeah, it's my dog. He's barking at the top of the stairs Uh, but um, I left my card at at the at the bar. So I had to have someone Fucking close it out for me But you know, I don't even like I had to take my dog and put him in the cage at that time I don't remember fucking anything, but I must have been saying wild shit to my dog I don't even remember dude I'm just glad that I actually put him in there because if I didn't I would have woke up with fucking

40 40 different piles of shit in every corner of this room in that cage No, he doesn't shit in the cage. They have a thing. They have like this innate Ability to not shit in where they sleep. I hope So do I because I've heard of dog shitting a lot of blankets. I'm looking at right now in there Yeah, dude, if he's shit in that forget about I would have lost all hope. Oh, yeah He doesn't go go go somewhere else I can't do is it

Sometimes he shits and it's like Like he was out drinking last night, you know, I mean sometimes it's he shits and it's just like an alcoholic step dad shit It's gross And I'm like, I can't I can't deal with this and I gotta pick it up and he can't go out for another two weeks He's gotta get his last shot next next Wednesday You haven't been walking him. I can't he can't go out you go outside He sniffs a pile of shit. He gets this thing and then he you know, do you walk chase? Yeah, I feel like he just runs around the front of the house

Well, we do let him out in the front yard and shit, but You know, yeah, he's fucking barking Uh, anyway, let's fucking wrap this up. Let's just let's just wrap it up do it Watch your mouth. Ah Where can they find you if they want to contact you? Mr. Anthony DeVino, you know what man? Everything is ant me, you know A. N. T. V. I. N. O. You know it. I do know it I did that for you

Oh, you silly ghost you silly bitch. You're a funny man. Are you gonna come back on another time? You know, I think I'm gonna take a four-year break a four-year You know, I'm saying I got a lot of traveling around the world. I want to do and I won't be here. Right, right, right I'm actually gonna go to Canada shout out when you're going there. Um 14 days. Yeah, I wish bro. Oh my god. You just make that up. Yeah, Vegas. Let's go Yeah, we are going to Vegas. Are you gonna go to ovio? Yeah 100% so that's Toronto. We will be in Canada. Do you have a passport?

Yeah, bro. I was going to the Bahamas. Remember No, I don't oh, yeah, I do remember that. Yeah, that was nice. Wait, you need a passport for the Bahamas That's a good question I don't fucking know either. No, I forgot where I was going. What am I gonna call this podcast? Oh Shit, I threw up on my living room floor. What I would do with a million bucks. What I would do with a million bucks Throwing up do it on a living room floor something. I love my mom. I love my mom All right, I'm getting the fuck out of here. Anthony. Thank you for coming by you're welcome And uh, thanks for not taking off your fucking Timberland boots. Oh, I just walking around in my fucking room

Yo, you piece of shit. I'm so country All right, that's all. Thanks for listening motherfuckers