The Bechdel Cast - Bedazzled with Laci Mosley
Episode Date: February 25, 2021Caitlin, Jamie and special guest Laci Mosley sell their souls to the devil in exchange for the opportunity to discuss the movie Bedazzled (2000)!(This episode contains spoilers)For Bechdel bonuses, si...gn up for our Patreon at patreon.com/bechdelcast.Follow @DivaLaci on Twitter. While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP Here's the article "4 Reasons Why Penis Shaming Is Anti-Feminist" by Robin Tran -- https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/03/penis-size-shaming-harmful/ Here's the piece "What Ever Happened to Brendan Fraser?" by Zach Baron -- https://www.gq.com/story/what-ever-happened-to-brendan-fraser Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated.
Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks.
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I'm Joe Gatto.
I'm Steve Byrne.
We are Two Cool Moms.
We certainly are.
And guess where we could find us now?
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On the Bechdelcast, the questions asked if movies have women in them are all their discussions just
boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism the patriarchy's effing vast
start changing it with the Bechdel cast most men think they're gold this one just happens to be
right which is a quote from the movie bedazzled and hi that's
today's movies and hi it's the pectocast she did it what's your name oh mommy
yeah no i'm sticking with it what's your name now it's aggressive what if i was like i'm the devil
i was hoping you would say that okay yes i'm the devil what does she say
like bl's above she says like 500 different names she's she's she's basically singing bohemian
rhapsody she oh it's so you're in for it today because i have no fucking clue what's going on
in this movie there is this is a movie that i feel like could have only come
out in 2000 and it i i'm like did it make sense then because i was really there's so much i'm not
sure wait wait wait what's your what's your name oh right well i'm beelzebub no i'm uh okay my name's
jamie my name's caitlin we're on a first name basis at this point and uh this is the bechdel cast this
is where we talk about uh movies from an intersectional feminist lens and we also
talk about bedazzled and that's what we're doing today bechdel cast more like
why is this movie called bedazzled we were talking about this before we got on mike
i think it's because the devil lucifer beelzebub satan has the ability to bedazzle you with all
you know riches and respect and love and all that a series of long sketches in the middle of a movie yeah yeah i guess so i got
that's as close as i got anyways this is our podcast we use the the bechdel test as a jumping
off point for discussion that is a media metric invented by queer cartoonist allison bechdel that
requires that for our purposes uh two characters of a marginalized gender with
names speak to each other about something other than Brendan Fraser.
And that's how the test is going to work today.
And we'll just see what happens.
We will indeed.
And I say without much further ado, we introduce our guest.
Yes.
A fan favorite, first of all.
She's also a comedian, actor.
You know her from ABC's The Con, and she's the host of Scam Goddess Podcast.
It's Lacey Mosley.
Hi.
Welcome back.
I would like to be addressed as Satan.
It's got an accent mark, so it's Satan.
Not Satan.
Okay, we're hitting the second syllable.
It's funny that y'all were talking about the title of this movie.
I personally, I guess because I was younger when it came out,
I remember talking to my friends about it, and I'd be like,
yeah, you know that movie, what did I call it?
Bebezeld. I was like, you know, Bebezeld. Maybe I was illiterate, but I'm like, yeah know that's that movie bet but there's a what did i call it beberzeld i was like you know beberzeld maybe i was illiterate but i'm like y'all know
that movie beberzeld with the british anthem that's honestly enough information to know what
the movie is perfect plot i'm so glad you brought us this movie because I had no idea this movie existed oh really wow
yeah I'd never heard of it and I thought that I like I'm not like I'm not a I'm not like a
Brendan Fraser fan but I find him interesting as like a person I don't think so and I hate
Brendan Fraser it's just like I don't know if people are like oh yeah give me that Brandon
like I don't does anyone have a poster of him in their wall i don't know he's like interesting because i just i don't know anytime
there's someone who's like i look like a movie star but i'm actually a character actor i'm like
that's kind of interesting to me but i had no idea this movie existed what is this thing they're
uh lazy how did what what is your history with bedazzled so my history with bevazelle is
i remember seeing it with my cousin as a kid and you know we were pretty religious but not like
it was like i went to church a lot but like as soon as my mom had full control over how much we
went to church then we like didn't go to church much uh nice you know we hit we hit the the bops you know
we were there for the high holidays we were there for you know sure the the cute moments the easters
the christmases you know yeah sure whenever jesus would come back we would come back as well
basically um but so i remember watching it kind of like we were like sneaking and watching it
um much as we did most of the television that we watched and i remember having fun watching it, much as we did most of the television that we watched. And I remember having fun watching it,
much like when I was here from What Women Want,
which was a dumpster fire, the one with Mel Gibson.
I was like, I remember being like,
mm-mm, bitch, this is good.
So I was ready to love it.
Wow.
The early 2000s, what a cursed time. it was really just a free-for-all you
could do all sorts of shit that was our 80s i mean like we were wearing skirts over leggings
and outfits and and for some reason a flower in your hair anywhere like i wore flower in my hair to my senior prom please and thank you i wore
one to the club there poor decision i remember like being i don't know i guess like yeah being
a kid around this time i i don't know why but i have like a really strong memory of being on the
school bus and having a t-shirt that had like a sassy little phrase on it that said like 90% angel, 10% devil.
And thinking like there is never going to be a shirt cooler than this shirt.
Like I was so thoroughly convinced that early 2000s child fashion was going to be as good as we ever got.
Limited too, girl.
Limited too.
It was great.
90% angel, 10% devil devil it fits perfectly with bedazzled
also feels like a little horny for kid apparel i mean like maybe the devil's like a little devil
but i don't know did either of you wear weirdly horny kid shirts because i definitely i had i my
fifth grade school picture i'm wearing a t-shirt that says too young for Ashton which is like fucked up but I snuck it to school my mom didn't want me to wear
it but my aunt got it for me my horny aunt was like this is funny and then I brought home the
school pictures and now it's in your life forever I love that your aunt is hilarious but that shirt
is who made that who was like, put that on the screen.
They were just selling that
at like, I don't even know where it would
have been, like the Macy's clearance
section. They just had that shirt for kids.
Right. Like the shirt basically is like,
I'm horny for Ashton, but he can't be
horny back.
What are we saying?
It's like, thanks for letting us know,
10-year-old. I hope Ashton made some coin what are we saying it's like thanks for letting us know 10 year old
i hope ashton made some coin off of that because they just said ashton they didn't say kutcher
so he probably out here getting smeared and he didn't even get a coin
oh my goodness caitlin what's your history of this movie my history is literally i didn't
know it existed before um before we started getting ready for this episode this came out when I was in high school or I was like just about to enter high school so I was
it was definitely on my radar and I I thought I had seen this movie but when I went to watch it
to prep for this episode I'm like none of this is familiar to me except for one scene where he first wakes up as a Colombian drug lord and he's figuring out that he
can speak Spanish because this clip is featured as a clip in the board game seen it if anyone
remembers seen it I do remember that so that whole scene plays out and then you're supposed to like
answer like trivia questions about that clip or whatever in the game anyway so that i was like okay i've
definitely seen that part of it i think it must have been on at a sleepover or something like
that because i've like bits and pieces of it were familiar to me but i didn't i don't think i had
seen the whole thing um you were too busy pillow fighting? I was too busy being 90% angel, 10% devil.
But yeah, so should we just get into the recap?
I'm so excited to hear you recap this movie.
Yes, please.
What is going to happen?
I was thinking about you while I was watching the movie.
I was like, I just can't wait for caitlin to do this thank you uh okay so we meet elliot that is brendan frazier
he works at a tech company and he's a loser he's a dork he's annoying and nobody likes him he's brendan fraziering out at the
beginning like such a simp yeah like he this is brendan frazier at the beginning of a lot of
movies right he's like really loudly not fitting in i just well i kept thinking back to so we
recorded an episode on the mummy 1999 a few years ago now um but our whole thing with that episode
that he is that he was like feral from a lot of the movie because he like surprise kisses
rachel weiss and he's just like being this horny feral like we love a surprise kiss and by that i
mean we don't in this movie he gets surprise kissed by the devil.
So I just kept thinking about like Brendan Fraser being feral and it kept making me laugh.
Anyway.
He's so confusing.
So one evening he sees some people that he knows from work hanging out without him at a bar.
And then the woman that he has a huge crush on, who he also works with or like she works in the same building or something.
Alison Gardner.
That's Francis O'Connor.
She comes in and his co-workers kind of like egg him on to go talk to her because he's all like, yeah, she and I are like good friends.
And he goes over to talk to her.
She does not remember Elliot at all because it turns out they've only
talked once briefly four years ago yeah and then she walks away but just then elliot comes upon a
sexy woman in red yeah it it does happen that quickly wait really quick on allison i just i was waiting the whole movie to
be like what is like one thing about allison what is one thing about her other than she is
she seems to reflexively like many people who are being aggressively hit on be nice to people
instead of telling them to fuck off like that's that's, I think, the one thing I know about her. Yeah.
They didn't give us no information about her.
She kind of looked like Mariah Carey,
which I was like, maybe that's, like, you know,
for the times.
Like, Mariah, you know, Mariah's always popping.
She owns Christmas.
Move over, Jesus.
But she's long booted Jesus off the manger.
It's just her and heels.
But I was like, oh, maybe that was for the times.
But also, I didn't like that, like, it gave such incel vibes of, like, this woman, we don't know nothing about her.
It's like if you just saw a girl on Instagram and was like, that's my wife.
And it's like, you've never seen, you've never talked to her.
We didn't even, Instagram would give more information.
At least she would have some captions we could look at, like, oh, this is like the sun.
Okay. She loves the beach. All right. beach all right like nothing yeah we know nothing about her
it's so weird yeah like slow-mo entrance shot and then we never learn to the point where like when
she would show up in all these like later like fantasy sequences i would kind of sometimes be
like wait who is that oh i guess it's that lady allison like i didn't recognize her because she
was in those wigs she yeah she was just in a bunch of wigs and i was like she's like she's fun but i'm like i
don't who is this woman what is different about her she's passionate about wigs that's what we
know she loves a good wig so right he knows the way she likes to eat her bagels and that's all
he knows about her and that's all we know about her yep but anyway so suddenly this very sexy woman in red is in the movie and she's played by elizabeth
hurley and there's something very peculiar about her because she's really good at pool and she
seems to be omniscient and then she's like by the way brennan fraser i have the power to give you everything you've
ever dreamed of and it's because i'm the devil teehee she's really fun as the devil
like even when it's fucked up she's still fun and she's like hot off of austin powers too it's like
peak elizabeth hurley because i'm like what if i can't i can't tell you what
elizabeth hurley did after this no she was very naughty i also think that like having the devil
be british was just like it just because i just can't imagine an american woman like yeah i'm
the devil so what's up you want some wishes or not just doesn't sound as sexy as her yeah also the fact that the devil is a genie oh like there's
so many leaps of logic where i'm like oh okay i guess the devil is a genie and she's obsessed
with brendan frazier because of a cd-rom computer program that she has don't know right well okay so this movie is based on a 1967 uh movie of the same name
that peter cook and dudley moore were in and that who also co-wrote that movie which was also an
adaptation from the faust legend which admittedly i don't know anything about faust it definitely feels
like something that's been adapted from other stuff because some things i'm like
huh right what where did that come from like what triggered the devil like i don't i didn't see him
go like oh devil i wish i could be with alice like it was nothing there's nothing that triggered the
devil he goes i he's like dear god i would i would do
anything to be so he basically prays to god saying like i would do anything to be with this woman and
rather than god responding so honestly maybe this movie is commentary on like where's god when you
need him uh because who shows up he's at the end of the movie. Right, right. Yes. God is in this movie. I can't wait to talk about him.
But so the devil is like, hi, I'm the devil.
And he's like, what?
So she has to prove it to him because, you know,
Brendan Fraser doesn't believe women or devils.
Well, she does like just kind of start accosting.
I don't know.
All their scenes together are like what is this
dynamic and then at the end where he says like you're the best friend i've ever had like that's
the saddest thing i've ever heard in my life not the devil your best friend and she hates you man
she hates you so much she's just using you to get your soul such a weird story so i needed I needed the help of Wikipedia to understand what was happening at the beginning.
Because the whole intro is like, we see people being, it's like a very early 2000s computer
program where it'll point at the person and then say five adjectives like it's the next
bus or something.
I'm like, what?
But apparently that's the devil's computer program, which I didn't understand.
Right? I didn't get that's the devil's computer program, which I didn't understand. What?
Right?
I didn't get that until the second viewing. I was like, so the devil has a CD-ROM that tells her that Brendan Fraser is lonely?
Like, it's just weird.
Yeah.
Yeah, because she's using it basically as like kind of like an online dating site.
But rather than to like find dates dates it's to like find candidates
for souls she can snatch up and some of that language was just so early 2000s i was like this
is like the shit you could get away with like they pointed at one woman and it was like tease and it's
like yeah i feel like that's not that's a word made up by men who wanted to have sex with somebody
who did not want to have sex with them that's not a thing so some of the points i was like hmm problematic yes definitely this is a
very 2000 software program like it's so not updated yeah it's running on fucking windows 98
like but then when it points at brandon frasier it's like doormat lonely desperate oblivious
eager to please and i was like wow feeling called out that's so brutal and then a million he holds
the door and a million people go inside yes i was like brandy you could have got in there you
could have stuck a toe in there seriously brandon have some self-esteem but then he does have
self-esteem but and it's really like aggressive at times it's he's a it's a weird character yeah like he's either i feel like he falls kind of into
that nerd stereotype of like i'm gonna force people to like me which is like no that's also
scary that's not a good approach right i felt bad for that in in his working group first of all
shout out orlando jones yes so funny he's great even though it's
like he should have had more to do but like there i was glad he was there and then there was also
like token guys gal that was with them who was like oh like did you oh god it was just like such
a stock character but i'm like oh i know who you are welcome you will never talk to another woman
in this film but you'll be there with the guys but not
everywhere because like was she ever in any of the cutaways no she was only in like the non-wish
like non-fantasy why could she come to the fantasy she was just as involved in his creepy ass life
right she was just as she was just as much of a bully to brendan fraser as anyone else
and she wasn't invited rude damn i didn't even that didn't even occur to me i was just as much of a bully to brendan fraser as anyone else and she wasn't invited rude damn i
didn't even that didn't even occur to me i was just like wow guys gal they gave her like the
guys gal daria jacket and everything but yeah but she's not allowed to participate in most of the
movie uh okay so anyway so um he's like i don't you you're not the devil So she proves it to him by granting his wish of a Big Mac and a Coke.
But it doesn't seem that impressive because she just takes him to McDonald's
and he has to pay for it.
But then she takes him to her nightclub where everyone seems to know him and
love him.
And then she presents him with this contract where she will grant him seven
wishes because she's also a genie, in exchange for his soul.
And because he really, really wants to be with this woman, Allison,
he signs the contract.
And then she's like, okay, I'm going to give you this pager.
If things aren't going the way you'd hope, just, you know,
dial 666 and then we'll sort it out.
Classic 2000s devil.
Right.
So what follows next is a bunch of sequences that I'm just going to kind of breeze through because I feel like we will break them down one by one in the discussion.
So I don't want to spend too much time on it.
But basically, there's all these
sequences where he makes a wish things seem great at first but then he discovers like a catch
and then he has to page the devil and go back to normal until he makes his next wish
so the first one is that he wishes to be very rich and powerful and married to allison cut to he is now colombian okay yeah um he lives in a
mansion with his wife allison and he's rich and everything but the catch is allison hates him
and is cheating on him and he got his wealth and power by running a drug cartel this is where i was like what the huh there is this movie
quickly becomes just a series of really long sketches yes where brendan fraser is doing the
absolute most a person can do like it's just like a pile of wigs and a bunch of things happening and
it's all 10 minutes long and at the end you're
like huh and then all of a sudden he's talking to the devil again right why did he have to have
a prosthetic nose to be a colombian drug lord well i mean that's not all they do they put him
in brown face yeah they did oh god and that wig we'll get into it but and that's like oh god they're all they're all like bad but
all in like very distinct way it's kind of like a weird sampler plate of like problematic right
2000s shit they find a new way to be extremely problematic with each new wish yeah uh so the
next one is after he finds out that allison wants sensitive man, he wishes to be the world's most sensitive man and for Allison to be in love with him.
So we cut to him being super sensitive.
But the catch is that he's too sensitive and overbearing and she's turned off by it and leaves him.
And it's disgusting.
Yes.
So his next wish is to be tall and strong and athletic.
So the devil turns him into a pro basketball player.
And Allison is now a sports reporter.
And she's really horny for him but the catch is he has a very small penis which she sees because he starts to undress in front of her in the locker room as she's like trying to interview
him as a sports reporter but also she's like yeah like it's oh god the the like gymnastics
the logic gymnastics the story goes to be like no she is actually telling him
that he has to strip in front
of her in the locker
room because that's what sports reporters
do and it's like
oh boy it's a mind fuck
but so she sees his small
penis and now she is not interested
in him so
then his next wish is
to be really smart and educated and witty and
sophisticated and for Allison to fall in love with him and that he has a big penis. So cut to him
being a renowned writer who's very charming and cool and everyone likes him. And then he meets
Allison at some event and they hit it off but the
catch here is that when they go back to his place it turns out that elliot is gay and has
like a male partner and is not actually interested in allison
more gymnastics later on that. So that's one. So the next wish is he wants to do something good for mankind and to create a better world and do something important.
So he wishes to be the president of the United States.
So the devil makes him President Lincoln right before he's about to be assassinated.
He comes out of that wish and now he only has one
wish left because the devil is counting the big mac and coke as one of his wishes and he's like
you know what devil the deal is off and he goes to a church to talk to god so weird yeah but there he gets arrested and in jail he meets god a black man
in jail
he's just like talking to brendan frazier about like his soul and his life and stuff like that.
What if God were one of us?
And you're just like, interesting tale.
I know.
The only thing more cliche could have been him on a bus.
Right.
Oh, gosh.
So then he gets out of jail and he goes to the devil's club and he's like, you know what?
I don't want my last wish.
But the devil freaks out and sends him to hell or something.
Oh, my God.
And then hell has terrible special effects.
Yep.
It's so brutal.
When Elizabeth Hurley gets gigantic, but she still has the Austin Powers powers hair and she's like i'm gonna send you to
hell forever you're like oh i need a drink anything yes so then she like basically forces
him to make a wish so he his last wish is he wishes that allison have a happy life. And then suddenly he and the devil are like in a courthouse.
And she explains that the contract that he signed states that if a person commits a selfless act of redemption, like wishing for someone else's happiness, it voids the contract, which means the deal is off and he gets to keep his soul
so elliot returns to his normal life he asks allison out which is just what he should have
done at the beginning of the movie right not sell your soul but oh no allison's seeing someone. But it's okay because he goes home and his new
neighbor is a lady
who looks exactly like Alison.
Oh, God. Except she's
so quirky
that it's a miracle she's
alive.
Like, oh,
my God. It's like if Zooey Deschanel in
2006 were at, like, a 40.
Like, she was just like, my name's Nicole, but you can call me Nikki.
And then he's like, wow, I'm in love as hell.
She trips and she drops all her papers.
Yeah.
It's like Hilary Dove.
Like all of that in one character that we meet for 45 seconds.
And we're supposed to be like, wow, I love this character.
I'm like, this men wrote this character i'm like this men
wrote this character and that's just a fact also it just suggests that like it doesn't matter what
a woman's personality is as long as she looks exactly like that woman brendan fraser will be
in love with her but there's a lot of men who are like that yeah that's true yikes i know it was like i it's really like i don't know i've
well that is like this movie really rewards brandon frazier's character for like not being
violently angry that he's rejected by allison and then they're like all right all right all
right he can be lonely for like 10 more minutes and then we have to give him a girlfriend because he's earned it
right it's just like that whole like nerd narrative that uh i don't know i feel i'm like
that's why jeff bezos exists probably it's like this whole narrative oh boy gosh anyway so he
falls in love with new Allison instead.
And then there's a shot of the devil playing chess in the park with God.
The movie ends.
So let's take a quick break and we'll come right back to discuss. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
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This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president
was the target of two assassination attempts
separated by two months.
These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago
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President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today.
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I always felt like Lynette was kind of his right-hand woman.
The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI
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Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore.
The story of one strange and violent summer.
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Available now with new episodes every Thursday.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
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OK, we're back.
Lacey, would you like to start anywhere in particular i mean okay so things i'm just these are gonna be some random things and then we can get into the things things
so the devil's club was called called DV8 and it was like DV
with an 8. With a numeral 8.
Yeah.
I was watching when they went in the
club, like the screens
because you know they had people in the pool, people dancing
and then they had these screens of like
you know like devil shit. And it was
all just brown or black or ethnic
people dancing. I was like
wait a minute.
They were like,
there's no reason these Negroes should have all this
rhythm. It must be the devil. I'm like,
why is this in the back?
It wasn't no white people doing
the cha-cha or the
goddamn fox
trot. None of that. Just black
people and brown people, indigenous
people dancing. i was like
curious uh yeah what are the random details oh him the whole like him aggressively trying to be
friends with all these people who hate him there was a fun moment where he walks up to a guy who's
like i don't know if offices have these anymore but he was at a coffee machine and when the guy
sees brendan fresher walking up he starts stabbing the coffee machine real hard trying to like get the coffee real fast he's like oh no he's coming and i was
like everyone hates this man this much at the office like god damn yeah i just like i want to
know why i not to be like his co-workers are probably right but like do they just hate him
for no reason like i i would like to know why
they dislike him so much because maybe they have an amazing reason of why they don't want to hang
out with him he did one thing i was gonna say he did one thing that i would be like bitch i hate
you um the girl came in and i think she was late and he was like oh girl you're late like he was
like yelling and i'm like bitch if you i'm
constantly seven minutes late everywhere i go i dare somebody to comment on it seven is the
perfect amount no one can get mad about seven minutes eight yes ten angry five seven sweet
spot i was reading that as he was imitating their boss because later on their boss says the same thing to him so i think he was like
trying to be like haha look how funny i am i'm like saying to you what our boss says to us
look at us relating and then she just flips him off something else he did that was also like fuck
you dude is he i don't know his colleagues names i did not bother to write them down I don't think the movie really tells you
we got the black guy
we got the skinny guy
we got the girl who only hangs out with guys
because girls are too much drama
but one of them
like he's the one who
Brandon Fraser's like let's go to the brewery
and check out the ladies
and the guy's like dude I'm married
and then Brandon Fraser's like dude i'm married and then brandon frazier
is like oh yeah i see you're like taking a train to whipville or whatever he says he's basically
like you're whipped and then he and the guy's like you're not funny please leave me alone
which is like fair enough there i don't it's so weird because it's like i don't know brandon
frazier plays everything so broadly that you're
kind of like yeah i get why people don't like him but also he's like not specific enough for you to
feel like oh i can relate to somebody being this annoying it's like i don't know it was hard to
root for him it was also like i guess i could root against you. I don't, I had no feel. I was like ambivalent the whole time about what he was doing.
Right.
It was like.
Yeah.
It really is a movie that you're kind of on no one's side and you're just kind of hanging out to see what, what the next sketch is.
I wasn't really rooting for anybody.
I don't know.
Right.
Yeah.
No one.
I was kind of rooting for the devil but that's just me also representation
like oh okay we're gonna have a woman be the devil but of course god is a man and it's like
god is definitely not a man like men have done so much horrible shit on this goddamn planet there's
no way in hell so that kind of gave me
that thing of like look at the devil being a temptress being a woman the reason that men fall
is because of hot women who are evil i was like yeah i agree i think that the so this is a uh
harold ramis movie it's written by three old white guys all at once.
Shocker.
I know.
Yeah, you would never guess
by how the characters are.
But it's like,
I think that they thought
they were doing something
by having the devil be a woman.
I think that they thought
they were doing something
subversive and interesting
when they were kind of just
not doing that like i and i
it's it's not even anything against elizabeth hurley i think for like the part that she's
given she does great yeah like she's fun to watch she plays parts like these parts really well i
also like kind of unrelated but i didn't realize how elizabeth hurley first became famous which is
also kind of like this weird kind of misogynist
story of she was she was Hugh Grant's girlfriend in the early 90s. And she wore a dress like I
guess a really like, I don't know, it was made out to be like a scandalous dress to the premiere of
four weddings and a funeral. And then all of a sudden she was like famous she like wore a dress one time
oh and they were like oh hugh grant's girlfriend let's see what's going on with this like this
woman and then all of a sudden she was kind of like skyrocketed to fame it was very weird like
maybe i need a date a celebrity i'm working too hard i'll get out there i'll put my i'll put my
titties out these days everybody's
so naked all the time i don't even i think i would have to wear like a full cocoon suit or
something to get myself seen because cardi b out here just putting tape on and was like
so that's not shocking anymore damn what i'm gonna do i don't know but this is this is it's weird
it's like she she had been like an actor before like she had been acting
and she like been on tv she'd been in movies but like hadn't nothing had really happened until
people started being like look at her body look at hugh grant's girlfriend's body and then all
of a sudden she was extremely famous which was like that doesn't she uh it's just i don't know
it's a little depressing that was back in the day when that worked. That doesn't work anymore.
Because I remember Eva Mendes got famous kind of like that.
She was in Will Smith's video.
And then they were like, who is that beautiful Latina woman?
And then, you know, Eva Mendes started getting her some jobs.
So, man, I miss those days.
Good old raw misogyny.
It really worked out for some people it did it's like no hate to elizabeth harley i think she plays the part like really funny and so good yeah like she's pert but
it's just like it is written to be like wow what if the what if the devil wanted to have sex with
you you regular guy and it's like is is that really? What was that about?
Why did she kiss him unsolicited like that?
Because she didn't want to fuck him.
So it was like, what is the point of,
why are you kissing on this man?
I guess it was, it comes back to the whole bedazzling thing.
That was her way of like, because she's like,
yeah, she's a temptress.
She's a succubus.
She's trying to lure him in.
I think, yeah, the succubus thing is like
really at play there too like i don't know you're just like uh i don't i i'm i like that it's
elizabeth hurley and yet it is still pretty sexist like and then the way that she acts too and like
the way that they write her dialogue you're like oh she doesn't i wish she didn't have to say that i wish she didn't have
to say that also that reminds me of like if you ever watch the end of the bring it on series
there's the like one of the you know how a movie is like famous and then like they'll make some
more and they just become like bc movies there's one where there's like a black girl in a scene
where i was fully like oh my god did she read the script did they change it before the white girl was like you don't know her she's very ghetto she does drive
buys and stuff oh my god this poor black girl why is she in this scene so i feel like that same way
about elizabeth hurley in this but i also want to say they missed a chance to actually pass the
test when she was making out with Brendan on the table
and it was these two ladies sitting at the table if they had just been like damn what's this lady
doing I don't know sis I guess you want another vodka tonic something they were just like scram
get out of here other women don't talk yeah right only one woman in a scene at a time that is really
the rule of the movie like it's really bleak i don't know it's we don't have
enough tampons for two women in the scene at a time only one and also like she i don't know yeah
like she i get like she's also the devil so it's not like i'm like expecting her to be like very
respectful to other women like she's the devil i get it but
the things that they like decide to be like oh like let's go let's look at allison while she's
naked let's do this let's do that it's like the setups are really like let's exploit the only
other women in the woman in the movie who we we don't know a single thing anything about and i think they
were like but it's okay because the devil who is a woman told him to go peek at her in the shower
he didn't want to do it he said no because he respect bitches but she said get in there and
look at them titties in the shower yeah and he's like well another woman said it was okay, so it must be allowed. Right.
Wait, while we're there, the peeping Tom scene, when they read her diary, I really wanted to throw up.
The most generic.
I have a journal.
I write.
And it's never like, dear diary, I just want a man who's so sensitive.
You know, like I was talking about me and yesterday and the day before because I just love men and it's all I think about.
That's another scene where you're like, oh, three old white guys.
Got it, got it, got it.
Because Allison is supposed to be like in her 30s, right?
Yeah. And she's just like dear
like that's that's the fictional diary of an 11 year old it's so fucking weird
like as told by ginger like it's oh my gosh i just wanted to shout out the uh the devil's
license plate bad one oh pretty fun pretty good very good good yeah um should we just go through
each of these wishes and unpack them because there's some of them are like whatever but
like there's quite a few that there's a lot to unpack yeah the ones that are bad are bad
buckle up everyone we're we're unpacking the wishes okay so obviously the first the big mac
and coke nothing really to say they're fun products except for right except for mcdonald's
product placement aggressive product placement though not only was it they walked in mcdonald's
they made the full order they told us the price then they walked out of mcdonald's and he had the
mcdonald's bag and he opened the bag up and he said i ain't even getting no french fries
i'm loving it though and then yeah he literally is like it's delicious
it's so i i i never think product placement isn't so funny because it's like, do you really think I didn't know like that?
And also I was like, damn, McDonald's cost like 350 for a whole meal 20 years ago.
I know. Wild. It was aggressive, though. They were like, look, McDonald's was like, yeah, no, we don't want just a mention.
We want a whole series. We want George of the jungle to say that his big mac is
the best meal he's ever had right it's great and i guess that happens in different i like read
through the wikipedia page of the original one and it seems like generally like i mean i might
watch it and then uh take this back but it seems like the setups are less problematic than
the 90s one um but it's the same deal they like go to get some food or but it's he's at a he's at
a diner he wants a raspberry lolly or something it's all very british who knows yeah oh god um
okay so that's the first technically the first wish The second one is him wanting to be rich and powerful and to be married to Allison.
We already touched on this in the recap, but the devil's situation that she puts him in is that he is a Colombian drug lord, which means that they put Brendan Fraser in brownface.
They put a prosthetic nose on him.
They visibly darken his skin. They darken his hair. means that they put brendan frazier in brown face they put a prosthetic nose on him they
visibly darken his skin they darken his hair uh he's got brown eye contacts in and he is
fully in brown face yeah because you know there aren't white colombians that's not a thing
they're not white colombians like there are y'all there are it's it's so fucking frustrating because it's like
there are because i feel like there's a number of things that are going on the most egregious of
which are the prosthetic and the brown face but also brandon frazier's performance is like really
pretty broadly offensive in the way that he's playing it too like there's just nothing about
this setup that is right not fucked up like and it's and i'm
sure in his eyes because he's a character actor you know how those types are it's like oh they
made me over they they put a nose on my face and i had to lay in a tanning thing for hours as they
painted my raw skin and you know he's thinking he's like really getting into it it's like like what are you talking about like right and like also the allison fantasy character is also playing a colombian
woman and it it didn't seem like they altered her appearance much beyond like putting her in a dark
haired wig but her performance is also very over the top and very rooted in a lot of stereotypes of Latinx women.
It's also like it.
I mean, it goes without saying, I would be truly shocked if any Colombian person was spoken to about this scene.
Like or consulted in any way like they were, which I feel like almost ties into like by the 90s, the kind of like the Harold Ramas kind of sense of humor is like it's showing the where
like it's it looks dated even in 2000 that they're doing this shit and that it's like kind of
especially with comedy directors i feel like once you reach a certain like point in your career if
it's obvious if you're not like listening to the fact that times are changing because it was just so like well it's so wrong
with him being a colombian drug lord and there's nothing wrong with him speaking spanish in the
scenes and even having the wig because that's like how you know the stereotype is of like
what people wear their hair like there it's just like because there are white people in colombia
there's black people in colombia you know what i mean like so it's not like he couldn there are white people in Columbia. There's black people in Columbia. You know what I mean? Like, so it's not like he couldn't be white Brendan Fraser.
That's why it was weird.
They painted him.
Yeah.
A fake nose.
Right.
That was unnecessary.
He could have just been Colombian.
And that would have,
we wouldn't have been like,
that's weird.
Like there are white Colombians.
So I was just like,
Lord Jesus.
Yes.
It was so like,
is they, they didn't need to do it and yet but orlando jones
always makes me laugh and i don't know how i remember this scene from i was probably eight
the first time i saw this was um orlando jones is behind him when they get to like the whole
drug lord scenario where like things are going south with the russians and they orlando turns
around at one point and his under his nose is just like all white from cocaine oh yeah but like so much cocaine that
you'd probably die if you snorted that much at once yeah he turns around so casually and like
i could just tell that orlando didn't have a lot to work with but he was like listen i'm gonna be
in this movie okay i'm about to can i do this? You know what I mean? Like, he was giving.
He was giving back there, and I loved it.
Yeah, this scene was...
Because it's clear that they're, like, parodying...
Like, it seems like they're almost parodying, like, a soap opera,
like, a hyper, like, intense...
I don't know, like...
Or all those movies you know about.
There's so many movies about the Colombian drug lord, and, you know.
So they were doing that yeah because all
of these like cutaway sketches are kind of like a parody or a reference to something else they
were like can we do not another teen movie but for other movies but also it's bedazzled
and you won't know why it's called bedazzled no matter how much time passes uh it's just yeah it the the brown face
and the prosthetic is like fucking what so yeah that uh that's like that's our foray into these
wishes so it like right and then you're like oh we've got six more of these let's see what happens
oh yeah um well let's take a quick break and then we'll get into the rest of them Let's see what happens. Oh, yeah.
Let's take a quick break and then we'll get into the rest of them.
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Let's get into the second one?
Yes.
Okay.
So this one is Brendan Fraser wishing to be the most sensitive man in the world.
And there's some lead up to this that we also touched on, but like there's some important discussion to be had
here where so in order to find out that allison wants a sensitive man he is complicit in stalking
her invading her privacy which he was doing anyways like which that's the other thing is
like it's frustrating that the devil is like giving him permission to continue stalking her
because we know at the beginning of the movie he already was he's like i know how she eats bagels even though i've never
spoken to her i'm like okay so you've been stalking her it's not like you're a nice guy
because you're like should i stalk her now it's like you've been doing that right and it's like
oh she can't see you so it's fine so it's fine if you peep at her in the shower and he's like well
you called me a desperate loser so i might as well live up to that.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't think he's successful at seeing her naked, but he definitely, not for lack of trying, he definitely tries.
Yeah.
So then we cut to the wish and he's super sensitive.
Allison does not like how sensitive he is. And she ends up going off with this like tough macho jock guy who doesn't care about her.
Right.
You know how women are if you care about them.
They don't want that.
Treat them like hussies.
I'm just like, God, the writers are telling on themselves so hard in this one.
It's so it's their bitterness for women. That's just like god the writers are telling on themselves so hard in this one it's so it's their bitterness
for women that's just like jumping
onto the page it's like women don't like
when you when you respect them
they like when you come and you're like hey
bitch get in my car
what are you saying my van
in my van it was a van
he had a van
he was like come drink beers in my van with my four
friends it's not weird
she's like i love that i love that for me
that for me the whole like yeah this whole i guess this whole sketch relies on the assumption that
women hate when men are like emotionally vulnerable.
He also kind of looks like Jughead from Riverdale in this sequel.
He's wearing like a little red wig.
Yeah, I guess like person with red hair equals sensitive.
Look, I love ginger.
So the ginger community should really rise up and be angry about this.
When is someone going to speak out about this scene in Bedazzled? it's just like oh she first of all it it especially in scenes like this it really
you really feel how little you know about allison because you're like is this how the real allison
feels like no because her diary said the opposite so like why is this even happening that she's now
acting the exact is so weird it's so weird
making her awful like before the colombian drug lord scene she's like cheating on him and like
openly like rubbing her spanish or english teacher's booty hole like in front of him
then and then in this one she's like get away from me i'm gonna hang out with these creeps in
their van like what is this woman a nice lady is she is this just the dream scenario that's changing her person because it doesn't change his personality but it changes her
personality in everyone right yeah in a way that like victimizes brendan frazier and like makes
him a victim of her behavior when it's like that's not even her it's so weird right well because he
doesn't know anything about her he's just sort of like
projecting what he assumes she might be like into each of these fantasies i guess because yeah she's
so wildly inconsistent from like wish to wish but then in her diary she says like the opposite right
before you see this scene so you're like why why am i even watching this scene i know that's not
what she thinks she she thinks like she's an 11 year old girl writing in a unicorn diary about like wanting
to marry daniel radcliffe like that's how right because this this wish basically suggests that
like women don't actually know what they want she thought thought she wanted a sensitive man, but as soon as she
finds one, she doesn't. And she just wants to be with the same type of like aggro toxic masculinity
dude that she's probably been with before. And then after they get out of that wish and Brandon
and the devil are talking, he's like, I'm starting to think that women don't really know what they
want. And the devil's like, bingo. And it's like a movie for that it's called what women want
where all the women in the movie know what they want yep yes and loudly tell yeah mel gibson
yo but i love that they also tried to honor the mistake they made with her leaving him by being
like she's like i love you but you're too sensitive it's like what do you so you love
him but you're not gonna be with him i guess you love some people you're not with him oh
it's just nothing makes sense it also just like granted his emotional sensitivity is like turned up to an 11 and he's being a lot in a way that would
also annoy me the way he's behaving anyone yeah but but even so the movie it makes an emotionally
sensitive man just seem like weird and pathetic and annoying and annoying so it's like toxic
masculinity of like buck up nobody wants to see you cry like yeah right so it's like toxic masculinity of like buck up nobody
wants to see you cry like yeah right and it's like the less you care about this girl the more likely
she is to want to fuck you because she says i just want to be with a man who will ignore me
and take me for granted and who's only pretending to be interested in who i am and what i think
so that he can get into my pants and the guy's like yep that's me and nobody wants that no like you're those men are tricking
women do you see how you said like she pretends that he pretends to be interested no woman is
that meta that she's like he pretended to be interested in me honey oh my pussy's so wet now like what they're being tricked they're not in on it don't
be trying to say women are in on the trick we're not in on it there's so much yeah there's like so
much weird logic going on that's like if somebody robbed your house and they were like but you knew
you was leaving town so i could rob you no and then it's like oh well do you want guys to
act like brendan frazier's acting in this scene you're like no i don't know what he's doing like
right i have no idea what i think he's supposed to be like this caricature of like man emotions
but like no it so there's got to be somewhere between these two characters somewhere in the middle not a man who every time he sees the sunset
is like ugly crying
that's a lot
just like not a person that exists
it's so bizarre
it's just
it's a fucking weird one
yeah so that's that one
so that's that one
now it's time for
Brendan Fraser as a pro
basketball player.
Oh my god.
Alright. Why did they make
him albino? Why does he have
nappy hair? What is happening
with his...
I could
not really understand
what they were going for.
Was he supposed to be like
still blackface but but albino face dennis rodman i'm confused they're like we're doing albino the
black people can't say nothing also there are good white basketball players he couldn't have
been dirk nowitzki and just had like a lot of hair in his face and been still very sweaty why he have to have afro I was confused yeah it was another thing
that was like you didn't need to do like you so easily could have just not done something like
right we would have still known he was a basketball player I guess they were trying to say like he's a
black basketball player because I guess they get all the women I don't know what they were trying to say like he's a black basketball player because I guess they get all the women.
I don't know what they were trying to say with that.
All the basketball players get chased.
It's almost like the filmmakers were like, OK, well, even though we did brownface, we can't do blackface.
But let's get as close as we can get to that without actually doing blackface.
The albino face.
No one will know.
You know black people. I got albino people in my family what do we know that we know what you're doing yeah and then i think they had to now i'm starting to
realize why it was albino faces because the whole dick joke was supposed to be like black guys have
big dicks so he you would automatically think because he's a huge basketball player that he's
gonna just have like the song which like was such a big
focus of a lot of these wishes which i don't that's such a man thing because i'm like they
act like all women are like oh yeah we love a huge penis that is the assumption that this movie is
operating on um and i okay so i have a whole thing about penis size ready i'm about to say penis a thousand times yeah okay okay ready okay
so in this scene because allison assumes that he has a big penis uh she's very interested in
that and that alone because also brendan frazier as this character can like barely string a sentence
together and that's like part of the joke that he just
can't really
form thoughts.
But she's super interested in him because
of this assumption that he, because he's so tall,
I guess... And he has that hair.
And he has that hair.
He's black adjacent.
That he must have
a large penis.
And then as soon as she discovers that he that he must have a large penis uh and then as soon as she discovers that he does not uh that he seems to have what again we don't see it on screen but it is heavily implied that it is
a very small penis um she becomes disinterested and runs away so so many so here we go shaming
of penis size particularly how we as a society shame small penises.
This is something that happens a lot today still.
It happens in a lot of circle.
It seems to be something that is still very just socially acceptable to do.
And it's gross.
And it's not enough people talk about why shaming small penises or micro penises is very harmful and wrong and not feminist.
So I just want to go through a few things here where obviously, first of all, it's wrong to just simply body shame someone for something that they have no control over.
So that's like the core of it. But there's
more to it than that, which so shaming small penises in order to attack a person's manhood,
which is like usually why anyone does that, means that we as a society value large penises.
And because we, we as a society associate penis size to be connected with a person's
manliness and masculinity, meaning like the bigger the penis, the more masculine a person must be.
And because characteristics like aggressiveness are also associated with masculinity, it basically
means that by shaming small penises, we are inadvertently condoning and valuing toxic
standards of masculinity, like aggression. So like our obsession with large penises and by
we I mean, like society is basically akin to we also love toxic masculinity so yeah i mean and i think that there's like that goes with
like there's a number of body parts you can apply that to i mean you can like apply that to like
boobs as well and like like valuing people on the size of their boobs or like you know
deciding how immediately interested someone would be based on your body or like your boobs your butt
like there's so many physical characteristics that we've like associated with like desirability
that is like i mean demonstrably untrue for most people right and also i i kind of it opened my
eyes to this a little bit more when i started to think about the trans men in my life and they were
like when you talk about people's penis size it's like it's really transphobic and i was like oh i
didn't even think about that so like there's just so many angles to this and also i do want to make
one clarification about the albinism that i was talking about albinism can occur across different
races i was specifically saying that this albinism that they were doing was a black man because if
you look at the texture of his hair it is very typical of that of an african-american like they make they made
him like have deep coils like 4c hair and that's why i was like is this an albino black person so
i just wanted to clarify that because it's not like albinism just belongs to black people but
i was like this is i know what's happening here right i honestly didn't pick up on that the first
time i saw it and it wasn't till the second time that I'm like, no fucking way.
Why is his hair like that?
Yeah.
That's how a lot of people with albinism who are black, their hair looks.
So I was like, and then like the association with the big penis.
And yeah, it's because he's tall and stuff.
It's also because they tried to make you think like, oh, he's black, but not in blackface.
So.
And then on top of that, I mean, you have like so many gendered stereotypes going on with
allison in this scene where it's like there's an assumption that she could not possibly want
to be a sports reporter because she likes sports it has to be because she's trying to fuck somebody
right and then on top of like that she's like she is sexually harassing him in the like locker room
like she's absolutely harassing him and pressuring him to get naked in front of her and just like
there's just so like it's just it's just zeros across the board i feel like that happened because
they were like look we can't do another scene where she sees the penis is small we got to get
it all out at the at this uh at this venue we got one uh location and so they're like we gotta she's got to see the penis
somehow here so they decide to make her like so aggressively inappropriately horny that she's like
basically like show me your dick right now right now it makes no sense um but yeah like you were
saying lacy uh like society's obsession with penis size ignores a lot of trans men because it assumes that all men have a penis.
And it ignores a lot of trans women because it assumes that anyone with a penis is a man.
This goes for a lot of non-binary people as well. Just a lot of people who are not a cisgender man. And it also, again, shaming small
penises stigmatizes the bodies of intersex people. Because when an intersex baby is born with a
micropenis, doctors will often remove it and surgically turn the genitals into a vagina and just basically try to make the baby a female baby because of society's obsession with like, you know, the gender binary and the sex binary.
And doctors will do this without anyone's consent.
Right.
Before the baby could realize how they feel.
Yeah.
Years before.
Yeah. Years before. Yeah.
And this, of course, leads to a lot of trauma for many intersex people.
So, again, this just like tendency to demonize or make fun of small penises ends up being really harmful to a lot of people directly.
And or it contributes to a larger just like cultural toxicity. Because like I've seen a lot
of otherwise compassionate and progressive people be like, oh, this person sucks and he probably has
a tiny dick. And like, I've been guilty of it myself. I regret ever having done that. And so
I just want people to know that like, insulting or shaming
someone by saying they have a small penis is something that's still happening a lot. And
it is not okay. Yeah. So I just wanted to like lay that all out there. Because I don't think
this is something we've talked about on the podcast. But no, I think that that's a really
good thing to bring into the conversation. Because it's like we we try to talk about like the ways that hyper
masculinity is like stylized and kind of forced into media um and that like if you don't fit a
very specific i don't know like yeah very binary form of masculinity that is based on really just
shit that men have made up over the years right uh that that you are
like lesser than and that you should feel inherent shame and then all the shit that that leads to and
all the problems that that leads to for for people and for the people in their lives like yeah yeah
i hate that i hate that it was bedazzled that made us talk about it but here we are
i am glad we're talking about it bedazzled a think piece um i i pulled a lot of this information from um an article in everyday
feminism.com that we will link to in the show notes because it's worth reading more about but
um yeah i uh i just wanted to bring that up because as soon as like shaming of small penis size comes up in the movie Bedazzled, I was like, all right, here's the chance to talk about this.
And then it immediately comes up again in the next scene where it's like, whatever, Brendan Fraser's talking to Elizabeth Hurley again and he reacts defensively because he's feeling this like shame from this offensive sketch that he just appeared in and it like
leave people alone seriously leave everybody alone um so that brings us to the next wish
where he again like a lot of these wishes are like you know there's the catch that the devil
there's always some catch so he has to like course correct and like make sure he's very
careful with his language and like what he wishes for on the next wish so this next one is like okay
i don't want to be this like bumbling basketball player i want to be really articulate and
sophisticated and yeah make sure i don't have like, give me a
big penis. And then the catch for this one is that even though he is like talking to Allison
and they seem to be hitting it off, he does not seem to know that he's gay until he goes home
and sees his partner there, which is like one of the actors who's like been
recurring in all of these sketches and he's like wait a minute i'm gay and then that's the that's
the catch that's the deal breaker like that's the thing that is presented as being just as appealing as like being shot at because you're a drug lord so we hate it i think in a way they
were and i don't want to defend these gross guys i think they were being like we will never be with
her because you don't want to but it doesn't work because he's attracted to her he talks to her he
likes her he takes her home to bed her and then they have this moment
where it's like well kiss me so i can see if i'm really gay and it's like that's not how sexuality
works like no it also like eliminates the any any possibility that you could be bi like there's no
world in which you are bi like it's so aggressively binary the partner that he's coming home to is
also written in these really broad stereotypes what a stereotype oh my god like what is happening
why do they give him that wig like every gay man knows everything about theater and yeah and then
yeah for him to know something about theater it's like bingo gotcha you know theater homosexual like there are plenty of straight people who do theater i know them like
and even if they are gay or if they're on the spectrum because we're all on some sexual spectrum
look there's somebody out there who would do it for you you may just have never met him um so like
to be like oh well he knows musicals and he kissed her and his penis didn't get hard like
what the math that they did just was not math and none of the math was math
at least i was like at least that scene was like mercifully not extremely long the way a lot of the
scenes were but it was like god we were building up to that like just every
sketch in this movie is a different flavor of really dated offensive stereotypes like yeah
yeah i think the only reason that one wasn't longer was because that's all that they probably
knew about gay people even in the terms of stereotypes they're like okay we know they
like show tunes we know they
don't have sex with women uh what else you got nothing okay we'll make this a half a page all
right next scene like they just didn't have any more stereotypes to write in right and a bob give
him a bob okay oh what a mess also like brendan fisher should have just like stay that seemed he seemed like
he was having a pretty good life like he like and if like again it's this assumption that
because he's gay he could never be happy because he's gay like i'm like it seems like you have a
nice house like and and a boyfriend who was ready to forgive you for about to be cheating on him. Like for some reason with the person in the bedroom, like and he was like, yes, fine.
Also, like that's a good observation, Caitlin, because if we take these lives and we compare them to the life that he was living,
working at some fucking cubicle company with a bunch of people who fucking hate him not having no love in his life now he
gets to be an intelligent cool
smart guy who
people love and he's the life of
the party everywhere he goes everybody's on
his you know ass and then he goes home
he has a partner who fiercely
loves him right that life
is so much better than the life that
Brendan has so much
and I love that they were just trying to be like,
but gay.
And it's like,
do you know how many gay people are out there?
Happy as fuck?
Like,
ew.
And then,
and then the second he gets out of that wish,
he immediately starts saying a ton of homophobic stuff to Elizabeth Hurley.
And she's kind of like,
tee hee hee.
Wasn't that a funny joke?
And you're like,
no,
Elizabeth, it wasn't. No, it wasn't.e wasn't that a funny joke and you're like no elizabeth it wasn't
no it wasn't it wasn't yeah so um the next wish is the president lincoln one and i this is kind
of corny like corny ass joke the only way it could have been worse is if they did jfk like
oh right i was like yeah i didn't my main note with that scene was i was boring
and i was glad it was short it was short and then his final wish is the wish for
allison to have a happy life which we don't like see play out even right which i'm like does that
mean that her diary comes true and she's like i want to have a nice man and live in it and and that's the end that's it also the fact that his
last wish is for a girl who he hasn't spoke to in four years not your mama not not you know
he's like that lady who i stalk i hope she has a good life like yeah which her having a good life would mean probably never coming in contact
with you again brendan frazier like you stand in hell which at least she is maybe granted like at
least but it's like so yeah it's so bare minimum of like the way that his soul is liberated from
hell is by vaguely wanting someone he has been stalking for four years to have a nice life right like
that could you ask for less but then elizabeth hurley is like wow what a king like what an
amazing man holy cow to have made this like the bar is on the floor really the bar is in hell
right the bar is in hell literally at least they told us that yeah and i mean speaking of
bare minimum stuff i guess i appreciated and wasn't expecting this to happen where
brendan frazier when he again just goes and does what he should have done from the very beginning
which is just try to talk to her and like see if she might want to get some coffee with him sometime
and she's like but he's like you know you know, I don't know you at all,
but I'd like to get to know you.
So at least he's acknowledging that he doesn't know her.
And I guess the reason that she's so inconsistent from wish to wish
is that those are just those projections.
We talked about this in our Inception episode.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa.
Wild connection.
Yeah.
Like the character of Maul was really weirdly characterized, but it's because it was just like Leonardo DiCaprio's character's projection of her rather than like a real person i hate that writing a hack of like well i don't need to
write a female character if i write a man thinking about what he thinks a female character could be
like and being wrong we don't have to write about women at all we don't have to ask them questions
because this is the idea that a man had about a woman right do you not want to speak to your wife
or sister that bad like what is going on like the the fucking loophole
that they find over here i turn on my side
brutal yeah i did i did i was genuinely surprised that he doesn't end up with her at the end
but then i was um you know immediately brought back. Well, he just ends up with a different version of a different woman that we don't know anything about, which is also a message.
They're basically like Miss One Bus next to 15 one coming.
OK, just like the other one.
You won't know nothing about it.
And she'll be just as hot, man.
Don't worry.
It was like 500 days of summary, like the end.
It's like, oh, this man is I mean, even if he's not entitled to this woman, he's entitled to a woman.
So we better get one in the mix.
And you're just like, is he though?
Like, doesn't he need to like work on himself a little bit?
Why doesn't he just go home and lay in the bed and then like be like, what a day.
We don't need to see him with another woman.
He don't deserve no woman.
What has he done to get a woman nothing he's like i want the girl i stalked to have a nice life i'm just like oh what he should have wished for a therapist he should have wished for like
just anything that would have allowed him to like reflect upon his life and his choices right if he ends on a
therapy couch and he's like yeah i've been stalking a girl for four years you know like
that makes more sense to me and even then he could fall in love with the therapist that would i would
be like oh that's a funny joke but like it's better than like somebody get this man a woman
it's so like it's so annoying and yeah i don't know the whole allison thing it's just
exhausting like she you could and and it made me like interested in like how was this movie
marketed and the way it was marketed was basically like the tagline was like how far will this man go
for the woman he loves and it's like he doesn't love her he doesn't know her how far does he go i
don't know the devil's just fucking around with him for most of the movie in like but that was
how it was presented like how far would you go for the person you love even though it's a stranger
that you barely met and never talked to i wonder as an actress like how that job was for the woman who played allison
was she just like oh this is an easy check because i mean they showed up she had to show up and
basically do nothing say nothing have no emotions have no choices just a bunch of wigs right they're
like just stand here okay put on this wig okay put on this wig i know it's so bleak it's like oh god uh
well well does anyone have any any other uh stuff to bring yeah one quick thing in the beginning
when brendan frazier doesn't believe this devil woman
and he's like
oh you must be a Scientologist
oh you must be
basically there's like sex worker shaming
because she's
like she brings up business
and then he thinks because she says
that she's a sex worker
he's like I only did that once and I didn't mean to
yeah and it was it was an accident and she's like sex worker he's like i only did that once and i didn't mean to yeah and it was it was
it was an accident and she's like oh no i'm not and then she uses the word hooker right and it's
just uh very much of the of the time yeah right which is always gonna just be gross to me because
it's like oh a woman can have as much sex as she wants for free but then when she's like put a
little money on a nightstand all of a sudden she's nasty.
Get the fuck out of here.
That's just something men made up because they didn't want to pay.
If men had pussy, it would be on the stock market.
I'm sick of this shit.
We be buying and selling it like GameStop right now.
God damn.
I love sex workers.
I just want to make that very fucking clear.
That shit is fucking weird.
Yes.
But yeah.
And then I love how they're doing the internalized misogyny because the woman is saying he's like, oh, no, that's not what I want, Miss Mav.
She's like, oh, that's gross.
I'd never be that kind of woman.
I love men and I have sex for free.
Yeah, that's another.
That's that's it.
There's like one of the writing.
I mean, there's every word is a writing issue.
Right. writing i mean there's every word that's a writing issue right but like how the writers of this movie
very often like give the like really toxic protagonist permission to do stuff through a
woman like i hate that shit so much it bothers me and i'm like you think i don't notice larry
harold and peter but i do those things the fact that Larry, Harold, and Peter,
like that just brings it all into perspective.
You're like, oh, from the guy
that brought you fucking Caddyshack
and attempts to write a female character.
It's just not going to happen.
I will say that Peter Tolan is a gay man.
So there was a gay writer on this movie.
So he wrote, he probably got bullied bullied i feel bad for him now because that
gay scene he they must have been like yeah peter this is your territory you write this you know
how gross your people are he's like okay like it had to have been like awful or otherwise he's very
much internalizing self-hatred well that's what i what I'm not. Well, see, that's the thing. I am not sure if Peter Tolan was out when this movie came out,
because he was married to a woman for many years,
had a couple of kids in a very straight marriage and then came out as gay
later.
I wasn't able to find like when that was,
I would,
I would assume he may not have been out
when this movie was released but um and if he wrote that part it makes a little more sense
not really it doesn't i'm trying it's still homophobic it doesn't make any more sense i
don't i don't get it there's i mean let's not forget, too, that even if he was out,
there's still internalized homophobia.
Yeah, exactly.
Absolutely.
The same way there's internalized sexism and all that.
Like, God, women have written some really fucked up movies about women.
Women, yeah.
I mean, I'm still unlearning internalized misogyny
that was very much what was ingrained into my brain
as a person growing up with movies like bedazzled look beyonce maybe had girls run the world and all
that now but i remember there was a time when beyonce had a song called nasty put some clothes
on i told you don't walk out your house without your clothes on i told
you she said they don't want no hot female that's been around the block female you nasty girl that
was the original nasty girl and you'll never hear beyonce sing it and beyonce i'm sorry to bring this
up don't have the hive after me i love you queen i'm just saying we all grow we all grow we all have internalized misogyny so there is so it was
uh you know co-written by a gay man and there's still a very homophobic scene two things can be
true oh yeah especially because like that this was popular to do in 2000 this was popular in 2010
like it's like it's only pretty recently that people the masses are getting
more aware of like how problematic jokes like this and storylines like this yeah we can't have
any fun anymore and i'm like how many that's always the weird thing to me especially like
comedians and other older people being like well all this cancel culture and all this stuff we
can't even have any fun anymore i'm like how many times do you need to hear the same joke that's punchline asian or punchline gay
you've heard that joke a million times you don't want to hear a new joke even if the joke was
slapping even if you're like oh this racism is like you've already heard it right so you don't
want a new joke that maybe is not as terrible i don't get that logic at all it's so fucking weird and
it's like this this team is very like that i mean i don't i mean you know commenters can
correct me if i but like this is the team that brought you you know ghostbusters stripes caddy
shack national lampoons vacation groundhog day like a lot of very popular considered to be
classic comedies very woke comedies like they're not known for so the fact that they're now you
know in their like 60s and still trying to make this shit happen it just like
it's such a bummer it does not work. That's my little context corner.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
Does anyone have any other final thoughts about Bedazzled?
Elizabeth Hurley was fun.
She was fun.
I always love a good Elizabeth Hurley performance.
She's got cool outfits.
She has great outfits.
She looked fantastic.
I loved her shirt where it's rhinestones and it says bad.
I was like, that's fun.
She antagonizes a cat in that scene as well.
That's true.
Because Allison has a cat and she goes to the cat and the cat's like, meow.
She's the devil.
That was my favorite part of the movie.
Red leather bodysuit.
Really enjoyed that one um
really loved the deviate hell club besides the weird uh dancing videos in the back i was like
a club with a pool and then like i was like oh fun it was so like 2000 where you're like i'm not
even going to think about the germs right oh my god can you imagine getting into lukewarm soupy water with strangers now
phone parties how close i was to everyone at coachella i tried to watch homecoming
and it was giving me anxiety because everyone's so close and i was like oh oh god
that was a mr crabs meme well does this movie pass the bechdel test
no no i honestly forgot to pay close enough attention but i do not think it does like the
first two scenes and i'm like no there were never enough women in the scene to pass it except for
when he made out with elizabeth or she made
out with him and there was those two women and then they were like one woman got to speak she
she probably got bumped up from background to uh featured player that day and she got one line
and then the other girl didn't say nothing and then they're like scram get out of here women
yeah but yeah the scenes where there's women together it's that where elizabeth hurley evicts two
nameless women from the scene right and then there's the scene where allison and elizabeth
hurley are technically in the same room but allison can't see her right so it doesn't there's
another scene where two women are fighting over brendan fraser at club deviate but they are
unnamed and talking about a man brendan fraser and also talking to
him for the most part he's like i want to dance with you no i want to dance with you right they're
not even talking with each other yeah those are the only scenes that i can recall where women
are even interacting oh i did want to bring up really quick with brendan fraser he has uh very
he's had uh i mean his career has been very up and down over the years but i did want to bring up really quick with brendan frazier he has uh very he's had uh i mean his career has
been very up and down over the years but i did want to shout him out because he was one of the
um one of the few men in hollywood who spoke out about being sexually harassed um in the 90s he
was sexually harassed by a very famous executive and like felt a lot of shame about it for many
years and then um kind of came forward with it in the last couple of years which i feel like it's it's like it's hard for everyone but i feel like on top
of the like you know stigmatization of being abused the like hyper masculine expectations
on top of that like i think it's really cool and admirable that he came forward with it so
and then did it the right way because when terry cruz did that shit terry fucking cruz titty dancer number one um and by that i mean like he
moves his pecs up and down guys um right every movie he's like in there's a scene for my titties
to dance no yeah we added in um like he came out remember and he talked about a producer grab you
know grabbing him inappropriately and then as soon as black women swelled the ground swell of support
for him black men were being kind of toxic and like kind i mean very um and he kind of backtracked
he was like i'm sorry black men y'all were right uh and we're like what and so he couldn't even he stood in it for a little while and then he completely oh terry's a
nightmare human um he threw us under the bus so quick he's up there with omarosa for me i'm just
like wow so you just not you're gonna sell us out this hard all right bro god that's so yeah as far
as i know brendan has you know maintained his truth and also like talked
about how all this you know all the shame that came with it and how he felt like it affected
his career because he said something at the time internally he did that yeah you had to play the
game because he really was i mean he was like in 2000 he was a fucking huge movie star and then he fell off and
it was you know all kind of lined up with the time he was speaking out about it to like his
you know inner team or like he sent a letter to i i'll i'll link in the description like his full
description but it sounded like a nightmare and i'm glad he said something as someone who works
in hollywood i'm not famous enough to speak out
about the bad things that happened to me.
So there are tons of bad things that happened to me.
And I'm just like, well,
bad things are going to keep happening for a little bit.
You got to be really fucking,
you got to be like fucking Tom Cruise
or like our favorite white man, Tom Hanks,
who somehow had the most wild ass son, Chet Hanks.
How did that happen?
How did your loin spring forth, Chet Hanks how did that happen how did you loin spring forth
chet hanks we'll never know um but yeah you have to be really powerful or you can't say shit and
it's still true to this day because i could say something i wouldn't have no career no more honey
i need these checks so you know shout out to him yeah yeah damn well back to bedazzled which is a bad movie on a high note yeah
uh shall we rate yeah let's rate it on our nipple scale zero to five nipples based on
an examination of intersectional feminism you know what with With Bedazzled, I just think it probably has to...
I would give it maybe like a half nipple.
Because at least the devil, who is played by a woman, is highly motivated and agency and like does some stuff in the in the
movie kind of it's true and again we said it before we'll say it again elizabeth hurley was
fun to watch in that role she's always fun but other than that it's a mess in every regard. Just one problematic joke or wish or sketch or whatever after another.
So one half nipple.
And I'm going to give it to Orlando Jones because I think he's very funny.
And I loved him in Office Space.
Yeah, it's going to be a zero from me.
I like Elizabeth Hurley's performance uh
she's i love her outfits she's a fashion icon um and the movie is just it's so weird it's such a
strain that i just yeah it's gonna be zero there I feel like they really thought they did something by making
the devil a woman and I don't want to reward that behavior uh so it's just gonna be a zero I have no
nipples to give yeah uh this is the first time I've ever done this on this show but it's also
gonna be a zero for me yeah I honestly would have gave it half a nip if they
had made god a woman too oh yeah and that would have passed the bechdel test probably because
they they do talk at the end kind of if because man being god and woman being the devil like
elizabeth you did your thing you were very british you were so british it was delicious how british you were um and i
love that for you and i love that leather jumpsuit that you were the red one it was popping your body
was fire uh like hell go ahead girl but i can't give it no stars or nipples because it's just
god damn it's so bad on so many levels. Like the message is just garbage.
And it's very pro incel and pro like.
Brendan Fraser's character was an asshole.
It wasn't just that he was nerdy.
He was a dick.
I'm friends with mad nerds.
I think that a lot of times people who are nerds feel like it's the nerdy side of them that people don't like.
And a lot of times, sometimes it is.
Like sometimes you're just genuinely being bullied by people and that's not right but i find the people who never find
their tribe the people who never find people that can they can fuck with it's because you're an
asshole because i got nerds who roll deep who they got the homies they got nerd events they doing all
types of nerdy shit all around town okay and so if you can never find your tribe it probably has
more to do with like you being an asshole like this guy was he was a dick and a
nerd and a creep and a weirdo
and a stalker and then at the end
he gets rewarded with a bad bitch neighbor
no
no thanks
I'm gonna drop my nipple rating down to zero
as well
no no no no I should have just
done that from the beginning
I see why you gave her a little nip.
She was good.
She was good.
But the movie doesn't deserve any nipplage.
So, yeah.
Well, Lacey, thank you so much.
It's always a pleasure to have you.
Yes.
Always happy to be here.
Always so fun.
Where can people check out your stuff follow you online etc yes so if you like comedy and robbery you can listen
to my podcast scam goddess podcast and that's wherever you get your podcast um and if you want
to follow me and my nonsense that's d-i-v-a-l-a-c-D-V-A. Lacey on all platforms, including Clubhouse. I'm trying to get messy.
Trying to get canceled.
Brain.
Wait, I don't even know what that is.
I'm so old and behind.
Oh, my God.
I'm about to invite you to Clubhouse, Kayla.
I'm going to invite you to Clubhouse.
I'm going to send it to you.
I have your number, right?
I'm going to send it to you.
Because it's just an app where people, it's almost like a podcast, but a ton of fucking
people just get to talk. And it's fun. an app where people it's almost like a podcast but like a ton of fucking people just get to talk and it's fun celebrities get on there they ruin their lives it's just
such a good time the rooms are fun okay well um yes thank you so much for being here come back
anytime you can follow us on twitter and instagram not Clubhouse but maybe that'll change
but Twitter and Instagram
at Bechtelcast you can check out
our Patreon aka Matreon
at patreon.com
slash Bechtelcast it gets you two
bonus episodes every single month
plus the whole back catalog of bonuses
it's $5 a month
what more could you ask for?
And I guess in conclusion,
we wouldn't recommend watching this movie.
No.
I kind of miss the version of me
that didn't know it existed.
No, no.
I feel bad.
I'm personally responsible.
She was so young.
She was so young.
I mean, we got this episode out of it, and that's a good thing.
We're so happy you're here.
We're so happy you're here.
All right, bye, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist
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In California, during the summer of 1975, within the span of 17 days and less than 90 miles,
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One was the protege of Charles Manson.
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