The Bechdel Cast - Boogie Nights with Josh Androsky

Episode Date: April 6, 2017

This week Caitlin and Jamie get naked (spiritually) with Paul Thomas Anderson's twenty-minutes-too-long Boogie Nights with guest Josh Androsky! Don't worry, a huge penis is a central focus point of the movie so we're sure it's great to women!(This episode contains spoilers)Follow @ShutUpAndrosky on Twitter! While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, y'all. Niminie here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti. And I'm Jemaine Jackson-Gadsden. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do,

like negotiation expert Maury Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Bechdel cast, the questions asked if movies have women in them. Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effing vast. Start changing it with the Bechdel cast. Hello and welcome to the Bechdel cast. I'm your host, Caitlin Durante. I'm your other host, Jamie Laftis. And we have a podcast about the portrayal of women in movies.

It's not this one. It's a different one. It's a different one. We're starting off hot. Yeah, we're doing well, man. Coming in hot. Coming in hot today i uh i kept telling myself i'm gonna stop calling myself the other host yeah but i'm othering myself you know you i i just try to i know it's not your fault it's my fault yeah it's a self-esteem thing don't no but i keep casting myself as the b character in my own story it's's like, Jamie, what are you doing? Yeah, don't do that. You're like a... Who's a star? I can't remember a single movie star.

I'm Natalie Portman. I'm not Mila Kunis. Right. That dirty... Okay, this is a vector test. This is what happens when our guests are late. I hit the mics hard too hard before we start and then the opening is a disaster normally i'm very together for the opening and then it goes down and then

it yeah let's just intro our guests then okay he is a writer for spongebob squarepants hey cool and he is with the democratic socialist of of America, the Los Angeles chapter. Interesting juxtaposition. Mm-hmm. Josh Androsky. Hello. I'd also like to point out I was a writer for SpongeBob SquarePants. You were. Nothing I say currently reflects the values of the Nickelodeon Corporation.

I see. Like, look, cum. See? Couldn't say that. You can. You got to sneak it in. Yeah, no, we did. You got to sneak it in.

We snuck in a lot of socialism into that show, too. Okay, socialism and cum. Off the bat, let's talk gender roles. Because I kept trying to get Breitbart and Infowars and shit to get mad at me for calling Barron Trump a waterhead. But they only got mad at women that did it.

Man. Isn't that just the way? It's almost as if it's not at all about the thing. It's just about men that aren't OK with powerful women. Wow. That's a lot. That's crazy. When you think about it, I would like to reallocate some things that people are mad at me about

and give them to you. I could take them, dude. Yeah. What do I do all day? I got a boogie board. Yeah. Put it on my boogie board. Unpack and put it onto my boogie board wow what a great transition to the movie we're talking oh shit oh i thought that was on purpose no i just love boogie boards wow who uses the word boogie

with any regularity hello let's take the transition let's ride that wave yeah oh whoa whoa whoa i know oh let's see how many bad puns we can squeeze into this episode i mean squeezing that is a good oh yeah that's it's sex it's a sex movie it's a fuck it's a fuck squeeze that's i think the official genre of this movie. Fuck squeeze. Paul Thomas Anderson, fuck squeeze. Anyway, if you haven't guessed. Heartache. Or.

The movie is Boogie Nights, written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. And all his high school friends, if you want to believe some of the stories. Oh, I haven't heard those stories. That he stole the whole movie. He made it with his friends and then was like bye and then like made it himself but just you know typical man i would like to say right off the top i don't trust three names i never have trusted three names i never will trust three names i enjoy this film i perhaps enjoy this three names creative output.

Sure. But I would never trust him with my life. A lot of the cast of the movie has three names because you've got. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Yep. Michael Clark Duncan. Marky Mark Wahlberg. That's three names.

Well, if you count someone using their middle initial as a third name, you've got your John C. Reilly's, your William H. Macy's. Oh, wow. And you've got Philip Seymour Hoffman. I'm exhausted. Julie Ann Moore. Right. Heather Vroom Vroom Graham. That's four. Something I'll be bringing up a lot

in this particular episode is, guess who doesn't have three names? Alfred Molina. Just a bunch of syllables, but only two names. I love him in this movie i also am 100 just gonna gently flick my bean to all his scenes and feud tonight so josh when did you first see the movie i saw this movie as part of like that like awakening that you have when you're like 14 and you're like i'm an adult where you're just

like these movies define me and everything i'll talk about for the next six years and so yeah so i was like 14 or 15 and i saw it when he says dirk digler and the sign comes on and like it explodes and it's so big like that was what the movie did to my brain wow and the sign comes on and like it explodes and it's so big like that was what the movie did to my brain wow yeah the sign comes this basically my head jizzed i saw it again uh around the same age i might have been a little older i think i was 16 i just knew it was one of those movies that was very iconic and i was like i gotta watch this if I'm gonna be a film major at Penn State so I saw it when I was in high school to prepare

for all the you know movies I would need to know about and much like Penn State this movie also features a prominent old white pedophile yes oh it's sad when he cries though you're my friend

say that you're my friend. Say that you're my friend. No. And then the scene that I didn't remember when he's, like, in jail and he's, like, getting beaten up by his cellmate. I didn't remember that scene. Oh, the beat-up montage? Yeah. Where three of the main characters just get walloped?

Yeah, I saw it for the first time then, and then I didn't watch it again until maybe a few months ago. I was like, I've got to see this movie again. It's been a very long time. And then I rewatched it twice, as I always do in preparation for every episode. Because I care too much. It's hard when you set a bar. You know? Man, it's not a good bar. Because then I've got to get 50% of the way there

and I'm challenged by that. When had you seen it first? I saw maybe a half hour of it in high school when my dad used to do this really funny thing where after we fall asleep, he would watch the Sundance channel

because we couldn't afford the sexy channels. We couldn't afford those. Oh, like the premium HBO? Spice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my dad would seek out titties on the Sundance channel at night. Hold on. I'm sorry.

No, I have to. We need to give that a moment. Just the last thing you just said. You just have to say it one more time and I'm really sorry to interrupt. Okay, okay. My dad would seek out titties on the Sundance channel at night. And then sometimes Okay, okay. My dad would seek out titties on the Sundance channel. Thank you. At night. And then sometimes I would be like, I can't sleep.

I'm going to go down and hang out with my dad. And one time he was watching Boogie Nights, and before he realized all the disgusting things were about to happen, he was like, yeah, this is my favorite movie. And then I watched it for like 14 minutes, and we saw all these. It was the scene with Juliannene moore's like sweet little pink nip and i was like all right this is where i'm gonna tap out and go upstairs and he kept watching and then i watched it took me like 10 years to sleep that off but i watched it again

and i like it one of the first times i saw titanic after he'd come out on VHS, I was watching it in my living room and my dad came in and it was like the nude drawing scene. And he didn't walk away. So we were just sitting there. And I think it was also in that same moment that I asked him what foreplay was because I legitimately had no idea what that word meant. And he stuttered and stumbled and then walked away. And I was like, okay, well, at least I got what I wanted in terms of him not being in the room with me during this sex scene. How old were you?

27. I must have been like 12. Okay. I had heard the word and I was like, I don't know what that means. And so I just thought it was a very innocent question. Right. Because you knew what fingering was when you were 12. I, yeah.

No. I think so. Everybody knows what fingering is. No. Come on. Do you know what it is now? No. It's like, okay, imagine your body is a banjo.

I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. No, I didn't. Well, I think maybe we've talked about that. I didn't know what any sex things were until they were happening to me. I was an in-real-time learner. I told you how. Yeah, I did, because the guy I was talking about texted me and was like, hey, why did you say that?

The guy who you thought invented oral sex on women? Yeah, and I thought he was a pervert. Yeah. How dare you? He listens to the podcast? Yeah, shout out to Steven who I thought invented oral sex

as a part. Anyways, yeah, we're still tight. What is the movie we're talking about? It's Boogie Nights. Let me give you

the famous Caitlin's Recap or whatever it's called. This movie, it's like an ensemble cast but the focus is a character

named Dirk Diggler, played by Mark Wahlberg. And he is a 17-year-old kid working at a nightclub. He sort of gets scouted by this adult filmmaker. He's both an adult and he makes adult films, just in case you were confused. Well, because one adult makes child films that's revealed later. So it is a good distinction. Yeah, films for and by children. It's like Kidz Bop.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Jack Horner, right? Yes. Jack Horner. And he's like, hey, you should work with me. And he's like, okay. And then they see his dick and it's huge.

And they're like, oh, yeah, we definitely want to work. We got to employ this hog. When did the word hog come into the vernacular? Because I was waiting for there to be a line in this movie that was like, sweet hog, you know? And it never came. I don't know when that happened. I feel like it was a different scene,

like a different social scene. I feel like there were people at Altamont talking about hogs. There had to be. I feel like that was, was you know the 70s is where the phrase hog would well yeah because like maybe like a ken kesey like you know portland bikers it's like you know like i don't want to call it a cork i don't want to call it a crank there's got to be something that's softer but gets the point across and then about a large farm animal? All right, narrow it down. Okay, big goat.

No, heifer. No, that implies female. Yeah, right, right, right. Horse. No, close. Pony. Nope, wait, back. You were closer with horse, but just with the name.

Miniature horse. Horse, big. Hig. Okay, we're so close. Okay, wait. There's gotta be another vowel we can put in here. Hug. Alright, guys. I know I've said this a lot today,

but the next one we say, I think we're gonna do it. And by the way, we're all bikers and we're all out of our minds on speed right now. Okay, one, two, three. Hug. Hug. I think we got it we did great hogs everybody we've all had our hogs out this entire time yep i'm a great bright beautiful shining star hey to all the perverts

listening right now uh hope your hogs have been out because uh we expect that of you. Hogs out, baby. Hogs out. Welcome to the Bechtelcast. You got to start the every... Wait, do you have a catchphrase yet for your podcast? Grow up. Right. Well, now you got another one, and it's hogs out. It's the Bechtelcast. Hogs out.

Grow up. The rest of the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The summary. Who cares? I know. Basically, he's like, my name's Dirk now, not Eddie. And I'm going to make these adult films.

And he, like, rises to superstardom in the porn industry. And everyone loves him and his huge dick. And then he starts doing a bunch of coke. And he has, like, everyone has sort of, like, this fall from grace. At the end of the 70s. There's a starting of the 80s that all goes to shit right exactly literally moment one of 1980 is when it all goes to shit um and then there's all these secondary characters that each have their own subplot reed rothschild aka chest rockwell right yeah aka john c reA. Young Han Solo. Not to objectify

John C. Reilly, but I'm going to go for it. It is so weird to see John C. Reilly with a tight little bod and the same hairline as he has today. From the head up, he's current John C. Reilly. And then from the neck down,

he's like a babe. It's confusing. He's got a subplot where, he's like a babe. It's confusing. Yes. He's got a subplot where he, you know, wants to be a magician. Oh, God. That just like hits really close to home for me in a way that makes me want to flip a table. Why? Why does it hit close to home? Because I feel like I'm drawn to people who secretly want to be magicians.

And it's just a vile habit, I think. Yeah. I was at a bar in college at, again, Penn State. Oh. And whoop, whoop, whoop. Those are the sirens. Right. Those are the police coming.

This guy was doing card tricks, and then his friend was doing, like, mentalism stuff. No. And I was so, I love magic. So I was like, oh, my God, I love this. You guys want to go? I asked neither of them in particular. I just sort of posed the question at both of them.

And I said, do you want to go on a date? And because I weren't sure who the question was directed at, they both showed up. So I went on a like three-way date with these guys. Two magicians? Yeah. One magician and a mentalist. Yeah, one magician, one mentalist.

Are you sure this wasn't a nightmare you had? This was real life. Or an episode of Solomon King's Red Shoe Diaries. Oh, no. I mean, it was fun. They did magic tricks the whole time. No, they didn't. They did.

No, they didn't. Did they pull anything out of their hats? They pulled their hogs out. They pull out their hogs? From their hats? Hogs out. Did they both pull their hogs out? No, that didn't happen.

Oh, I was like, this is a wild story. I love it. I'm going to make my penis disappear. And then it just recedes into his body. It comes out the other guy's mouth. Wow. I would want to see that trick. Yeah, me too.

Love a good trick. I took clowning classes once. Oh, boy. For, okay. For love? I found my inner clown. Wait, was this different from the puppeteering classes you took? Different thing?

Oh, my God, Jamie. Different thing. This is around the same time. Probably the same calendar year. Troubling year for me. Yes. I took the puppet classes and then amazingly, the puppeteer who was 10 years older than me never fell in love with me, who lived in the attic of the puppet theater.

Right. So then I was like, all right, let's be mature. Let's move on. Hold on, is this like a Phantom of the Puppera situation? Is this? Was he disfigured? Did he use his puppets to talk because he couldn't see your face? It's not Phantom of the Opera if he doesn't give a fuck about you.

That's no fun. It's just a guy who lives in a dank place. With a weird face. With a weird face and a lot of puppets. And then I was like, all right, now I have a crush on a clown. And I took his clown class. And gang, I was a star of the class. I was teacher's pet at the clown class.

And then I never saw him again. What movie are we talking about? Who knows? There's a lot of carnival music in Boogie Nights. just saying michael penn score very good i believe it was michael penn that scored it and there's a lot of carnival music in it so this all this all checks in this all checks out i was listening to elo on the way over hell yeah love elo i'm almost at the end of the recap which has maybe been my worst one yet. I don't know. You almost fucked two magicians in the middle of it. So I feel like it's been the best one.

So everyone has had sort of their fall from grace. Dirk Diggler is like jerking off in front of people for money and then they don't even pay him. They beat the shit out of him instead. Things like that. Two trucks full of people beat him up. Yeah. And then everyone realizes, oh, maybe I should start doing so much coke and like maybe get my life back on track. And then, you know, some GEDs are taken and people who need help ask for help.

And then everyone sort of has a little kind of comeback. Yeah. I was surprised at how pleasant the end of this movie is. Like everyone does. Oddly uplifting. It's all right. Yeah. William H. Macy is truly sort of the only victim of the movie.

Well, and all those guys who got shot that covered Don Cheadle in blood. Right. But that led to him and his wife, but truly the only two innocent, nice, good, perfect people other than Scotty. But Scotty is the sin of he's too covetous. But like, truly, the only pure people in the movie are Don Cheadle and I forget the actress's

name who plays... He marries Jessie St. Vincent? Yes. Who I believe was played by an actual adult actress, maybe? I think so. I'm not sure. Okay, R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman. But this is like peak Philip Seymour Hoffman where the whole movie

he's like, what? Why you don't love me? I'm such an idiot. I'm so dumb. I'm such an idiot. Here's my message to Philip Seymour Hoffman's ghost. Grow up. Here's my message to Philip Seymour Hoffman's ghost. Grow up. Here's my message to Philip Seymour Hoffman's ghost.

Can I kiss you right now? Can I kiss you on the mouth? Please let me. That's how I hit on men. Why specify on the mouth? Please let me kiss you on the mouth. I found it disturbing that he's like, on the mouth? That is one of many very hard scenes to watch in this movie.

Yes. The other one that's especially hard is whenever Roller Girl is in the limo, Jack Horner, and they pick up that guy who she went to high school with and like slut shamed her in the middle of an exam. And then that's when she's like, I'm not going to be in high school anymore. Yeah. Rolls out of the classroom. But yeah, that scene.

Super empowering. That's completely flipped. Like the empowerment of that slut shame but also I think led her back to go finish her so it's like a weird circular thing for a woman who wears wheels all the time well she's bound to go in circles

the puns are coming back she don't take her roller skates off to have sex that's cool I got a brand new pair I love how they fucked to that song. Me too. In front of Burt Reynolds. Me too. I have a dream.

The end of that scene though, after they get out of the limo and then they beat the shit out of that guy and then she like stomps him on the face with her roller skates. And I was like, you know what? Good for her. I usually don't condone violence, but you stomped that guy in the face with her roller yeah and I was like you know what good for her I usually don't condone violence but hell you stomp that guy in the face this is

that yeah I like roller girl and she is part of this movie I was you know as a cis het white straight male yeah I don't fucking watch the I don't watch movies like looking for

the bechdel test you know it's just not a thing that i think of but this movie passed it within the first five minutes there is a like that very uh we'll talk about this toward the end of the thing is that what you do stomping on our faces with your roller skates that's a good one thanks uh yeah Yeah, we'll get to that. I have never listened to the podcast and I showed up 25 minutes late. Typical. I'm all fucked up on my turn.

What's up? Disaster. What's up? Oh my God. My wife. This is not the podcast because groovy baby. You ever have that thought where you're just like, what if I just hit my head so hard on the table I passed out?

Sometimes that's like a lot of first date thoughts I've had. Oh, no. No, this is a fun one. So like if you're at dinner with someone or at a Denny's perhaps. You go on first dates at a Denny's? I insist. Okay. But anyways,

like if you're having a bad time and you're like, I hate this person. Do you ever think about like taking the knife and just chopping your hand off just to like get them to stop talking? Because then they'd be like,

ugh. Wait, speaking of like horrible first dates, I'm going to tell a very quick story that's also very relevant to the movie we're talking about. So I went on a first date in New York City with a guy who turned out to be- New York City?

The city where dreams go true? Mm-hmm. Concrete jungle, where dreams are made of. So you were walking here, walking here with this guy. There's nothing you can't do. Okay. Grow up. So you were on your way to a big at a pizza pie.

I was like, hey, I'm walking here yeah yeah i went on a date we uh had nothing in common he was very very boring we did briefly talk about what he did for a living which was he's like and i'm an actor and a model and okay cool what have you been in that i've seen i don't know it was a match he was pretty which will come into the story later uh i met him on match.com and um but like i left the date earlier it was so miserable that i was like i can't even i was there for like an hour and then i was like i'm gonna go home and never talk to you again yeah fast forward to a year later uh i was living in central Pennsylvania, and I got a job as an assistant to a talent scout who scouted for men to be in jerk-off videos for

gay porn websites. I think I know where this is going, and I'm so excited. This is how you guys met originally. Yeah. Yeah, the two of us. I scouted you. Yeah, that was me. It was wild.

I love this story. First, my name was Beefy Beaver. And then now I've lost some weight and I'm Oopsie Otter. And so it's fun. It's fun. We're having fun. Okay. So we were having a hard time finding people.

And I was like, hey, I went on a date with this guy who was very good looking, the type of guy we were looking for. They wanted very chiseled buff. Abercrombie. Exactly. I know. I've frequented. And he fit the description. So I was like, why don't we email him and just see? Because he said he was an actor and a model. He might be willing to do

this type of work. Who knows? So I still had his phone number and we Googled it to see if like an email address would pop up i didn't but what did pop up was like 12 profiles advertising him as a gay for pay male escort i guess the lord must be in new york city so i had gone on a date with what turned out to have been a male prostitute. Yep. So we emailed him or we found there was like a contact page on one of his profiles. It was midnightcowboy at thisisnotamovie.jizz.

He never wrote back, though. And I was like, well, why wouldn't you do this stuff already? Yeah, maybe he does it for the love of the game. Well, maybe. Well, why didn't he do it pro bono then? Or pro... Pro... Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

I had a gun pointed at you the whole time. See, you thought I was going to say boner. Bona? Hey, should we talk about the movie? Sure. No. Okay. It is like my favorite movie, if I had to pick.

How many times do you think you've seen it? Oh, God. Countless. I mean, like start to finish, not doing anything but watching the movie, probably like 20. This movie is, at least for me, going to be kind of tricky to talk about in this context because the porn industry has historically been based on objectifying people no women especially women uh so a movie about this industry is like maybe not going to portray women in the best light if they're like depicting it accurately but also like this movie

doesn't do a terrible job and they do acknowledge there are different points in the story where like dirk digler's like i don't want to see women treated that way yeah and um there's a scene when he's about to have his first sex scene with amber aka jillian more pink pink nips and they're like okay here's what you're gonna do and he's like well do we just go like right into the sex and he's like yeah yeah and then he he turns to amber he's like are you okay with that like so he's like yeah making sure everything that's about to happen is something that she's consenting to so you know that was interesting to see on screen um and also

like not a big deal like it wasn't like you know it wasn't one of those things where it's like we're gonna talk about consent but like very quietly throughout like you could root for mark walberg because the entire time he was like very i feel like uh consenting and and wasn't the monster that you would expect somebody that was on that much cocaine and an important industry to be right in fact not a lot of the characters were as villainous as you might think considering the industry that they were working and although there is that part whenever like i think amber's making a documentary about porn or specifically her colleagues and she's like well what about the violence that's happening toward women in these movies and he's she's speaking

specifically about the bro Brocklanders series. And Dirk's just like, well, like, whatever. That's just what the movie is like. That's my character. That's not me. And then Reed Rothschild says something similar. He's like, well, if, you know, if movies cause violence, then we could just eliminate violence altogether by getting rid of movies.

And it's like, I feel like that at least is portrayed as like comedy. They're stupid. Yeah, exactly. It was played for comedy. That was one of the dumbest moments they had. It was like that and then when they recorded their song where they're too funny. Oh, yeah.

The stupidest moments, like as friends. That was another scene that was so hard to watch because they were so bad at music and Dirk Diggler is the worst singer. It was so funny. And then they were like, we made gold here. If we could just get our tapes, we could have a record deal and give us our tapes because that's everyone we know

delusion i live for delusion we will rock you we will roll you like a little kitten the tone of this movie is very interesting because it goes from like having quite a bit of comic relief to that whole sequence where like everyone is like they've totally fucked their lives up. And it starts with William H. Macy shooting his wife and her lover and then himself. And then that just becomes this whole sequence where everyone is a disaster. They're all like coke addled and they're jerking off for $10 in front of people. Which they were doing at the beginning as well. It was a fun full circle moment when he's jerking off for $10 again. We'll all get back there.

Sure. One day. We can hope. I give myself three weeks. In this sequence, it's so tragic uh yeah people are getting the shit beat out of them and stuff but um so that the tone kind of shifts but then it it shifts back again toward like the end of the movie where they're all like hey it's all right i took my ged and i get to be in a porn movie again and i'm gonna show my dick and i'm because i'm i'm dirk digler and i'm cool but there's so

much there's a bunch of like running jokes where one is when william h macy keeps walking in on his wife fucking some other dude and he's like what the hell are you doing and she's just like get out of here yeah you're embarrassing me and that has one of my favorite lines one of my favorite lines of the movie which is actually a fuck up that they kept in where he goes, William H. Mason goes up to Ricky Jay, the magician, the IRL magician who was in this movie. And he goes, my wife has an ass in her cock in the driveway. And it's not. And he's just so flustered that he says ass in her cock. And that was a fuck up. But they kept it in because Paul Thomas Anderson just loved how legit flustered little Bill was.

Yeah, I caught that and I wrote it down. I was like, that is funny. Total fuck up by William H. Macy. Not planned. Oh, man. What a fuck up. Yeah. He's on notice with us.

That running joke is like such a classic example of the rule of three and it's heightened each time and then at the very end, how much more can you heighten it besides murder-suicide? Exactly. But up until then, it was a really funny running gag. But it also spoke

to the power that women had over men in this movie. And that's something that I really tried to watch it really focusing had over men in this movie. And that's something that I really tried to watch it, like really focusing on the women in this movie. Because usually I'm a Reid Rothschild. That's how I watch the movie. I watch it from his perspective, like when I was like a teen. I just like the John C. Reilly and then trying not to be the Philip Seymour Hoffman. But I watched how the women affected the men and how they interacted with each other a lot.

And women had the power almost throughout the entire movie, except for when the shit hit, like, really hit the skids. Was when, like, there weren't that as much, like, women in charge. Like, the whole reason that this happened was because Marky Mark's mom is the most powerful woman in that family. You know, like, if you're talking about like pure power dynamics. Cuck dad. Cuck dad. And then like wanted to fuck her son maybe? It was weird.

There was a weird moment in the beginning. Yeah. When he shoves her against the wall. I was like, are they going to kiss? Yeah. Please kiss. I did not interpret it that way at all. You didn't feel it?

Oh, I felt it. Interesting. They were just mourning for mommies. Yeah. No, but I i mean that was interesting because it's like you know the movie's already so long there was no time to explain why the family dynamic was that way per se but it was so like it it heightened so quickly and so intensely i guess that's like one of the female characters where i was like why is that you know like why

is that the dynamic here i understood understood why they did it for narrative reasons because she's basically the catalyst that gets him to be like, okay, I'm going to choose this path of being a porn actor. And I need a daddy. Right. Also, a mommy and a daddy. Right, a strong woman and nothing. Yeah, so basically Amber ends up being his mother figure

and then Jack Horner ends up being his like mother figure and then jack horner ends up being his like father figure and so it was kind of upsetting to see his mom his actual mom being such like a shrew and just such an awful person but i mean that's how some people are so you know i guess it it makes sense and the dad was portrayed just as shitty you know like well he like had no idea how to connect with his son at all or his wife or the world like you could just tell this guy was like it was one of those things where he's just like staring out of a window and then the scenery behind him changes there's an entire coen brothers movie about that dad yeah oh yeah it's a spin-off movie cuck dad c dad. Cuck daddy.

Cuck daddy. So, Josh, your point about women kind of being the most powerful force of the movie, I agree and I disagree. I do like how anytime there's a sex scene, it's often on the women's terms and they're calling the shots and they're saying, like, don't come inside me. I never take my roller skates off blah blah but in terms of like the actual narrative and the portrayal of their stories like so every single character uh or every like main character has their own subplot where they have like an individual desire something they're pursuing so you've got like don cheadle wants to open a stereo store right john c reilly wants to uh be a magician and he's like a musician and a poet and stuff like that. That poem.

You and me. Oh, my God. You and me sitting under the sugar tree. The sugar tree is full of bees, but the bees don't sting. Oh, yeah. So you have these different male characters who have these pretty strong desires, whereas the women, in particular, Roller Girl and Amber, they kind of have, their subplots are just either not as clearly defined, or if they do have a distinct desire, they're not pursuing it that ambitiously, or nearly as ambitiously as the men are so like amber's character she has a son i mean feel free to disagree with me but um she has a son and she is trying to like pursue getting him back and it doesn't work out for her but i don't know it just it didn't strike me as like being as strong or as a prominent part

of the story as these other like male subplots were and the same thing with roller girl to me she can't she's just you know doing the movies she wants to go back and get her ged eventually that's something that's revealed because she drops out of high school but she doesn't really have a definitive desire that's like carrying her subplot i kind of disagree with that i think i think that they you know we could both we could argue that both these characters have clearly defined goals, but they're just not as successful at achieving them. And I think that that is probably part of why this movie reflects this industry and all this stuff. For the guys, I feel like it pans out in a more black and white way. way but i think that with with uh with amber she wants her son and then we see with the

documentary she makes that she also sort of has higher aspirations than just being like that's true a woman in porn and uh neither of those really pan out for her but i i feel like there is like an aspiration for something more and and you're right that it's a little bit less defined. And then Roller Girl with her GED also, you know, like lots of roadblocks. But I don't know. I did think that for sure every character's subplot was clearly defined. And just for the female characters, it didn't tend to work out as black and white. I would also say that both of their most intense desires were freedom like the freedom to do what they want as women you know i think that that was like

really the crux of amber's thing was she liked to party and fuck and be the mother of all of these people who are already old enough to agree with her and want to do. But then she wanted her son, like she wanted to have it both ways. And like, it it's the seventies, you know, like, and same with like roller girl,

like you saw her in school, like she was trying hard to like figure it out. And then like the dudes at the school were fucking assholes. And so she wanted the free, she doesn't take off her skate. She gets what she wants, you know, in her way.

I think it's a lot of it is a commentary on society like that time and how hard it is for a woman to even be able to come up with a distinct desire in this world yeah you know like you're not useful in the 70s if you're a woman like to to capitalism to industry to whatever you know you would have to fight so much fucking harder and so i think a lot of this was like the you know last remnants of free love trying to like get freedom it also could be that the men's characters desires are more outward and the women's characters desires were more like internal yeah that's an interesting point though because i i think that you could probably find a moment where every male main or sub

character clearly states what they want maybe with the exception of philip seymour hoffman because i want to kiss you on the mouth i want to kiss you on the mouth he actually does he does but but we don't really hear those sort of mission statements made by the female characters, which is maybe why it's less clear. Or if we do, we can sort of argue that Roller Girl sort of makes that mission statement in that scene where she's talking to Amber. But that's just – I want you to be my mom. Yeah, but that's just them. And it's like never stated to a male character.

Yeah, well, that's also when she's like, I'm going to go back and get my GED. Yeah. And take a pottery class. But we don't learn that about her until that's toward the end of the movie. Yeah, that's an hour and a half. Did she know that about her? Maybe not until that point.

Right. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Like that was like a moment of clarity for her. She is kicked around for quite a bit of the movie before we know what she actually wants. We also have to remember that she's very young and like, but the same thing seduced into this world,

just like Eddie from Torrance. Right. You know? But yeah, I mean, this is why this movie is like, it's very complex. So it's like kind of difficult to,

at least for me to, to discuss in this context. Yeah. It's very long. I had to take a walk. It me, to discuss in this context. Yeah. It's very long. I had to take a walk. It's two and a half hours long. Yeah. That exceeds my attention span, but I did my best.

Wait. So you've seen it countless times. Countless. So you spent days worth of time watching this movie. Probably at least two days of my life has been watching Boogie Nights, and I love it. I mean, Titanic is three and a half hours long i've probably seen it 50 times yeah we've maybe a whole week yeah i've spent probably at least three days watching the jinx oh hell yeah dude like i think 10 times all the way through top

to bottom no bathroom breaks no bathroom he's innocent do you i am on a piss strike. I am announcing it now on this podcast. Two years. Hey, here's a question. In The Big Lebowski, whenever the dude meets Jackie Treehorn, is that, I wonder if that's a vague allusion to. Well, Jack Corner, isn't that like a nursery rhyme? Little Jack Corner. Well, yeah, I mean, that's a fake name. Jack Corner, yeah.

Yeah, they all chose like porn names for themselves. I should have chosen a porn scout name for myself. Oh, yeah. Actually, I had one. What was it? What? Because my boss made me business cards to hand out that I never did. I never handed a single one out to anyone.

Oh, really? Why? You should start handing them out now. I might still have that. Oh my god, I want one. Sex, Caitlin. I kept my first name, but my last name was Kelly. Caitlin Kelly.

With three I's. I'm so horny right now. That's a great name. I thought you were going to say your name was like Sexina. Oh, that would have been good. Fuck guy. Horse woman. That's me. Caitlin the hog.

Caitlin, big old hog Kelly. Hogs out. Hogs out Kelly. Grow up. Hogs out Kelly. Oh, let's do our general tests. Aristotle, if we forget any. No. Steampunk imagery in this movie. Our general Tess Aristotle, if we forget any less.

No. Steampunk imagery in this movie, I'm happy to report, very low. Is there any steampunk imagery that I can think of? Not that I noticed. Not a rogue gear. And there's two magicians in the movie. There's two magicians, and yet they suck. And so steampunk culture is not glorified. I'd like to point out that josh and

drosky is currently vaping what's that what a time to be alive it smells like fucking coffee it smells like breakfast in here baby um what else uh there's no bald women in this movie so we can't apply our bald women test. What else is there? We did mention Titanic already. We did mention Titanic. We said grow up. Did we say I'm triggered? If not, I'm triggered.

I've said it a couple times. Okay, you've been triggered quite a bit. Yeah. This is a very triggering episode. I've never been. What? Women in STEM. Women in STEM.

There's no women in STEM in this movie. You know what? It doesn't pass the vectal test. Wait, no, doesn't it? Because she's in her GED. That's not STEM. I wish that Roller Girl

had had a more defined desire. She wanted to go back and get her GED to specifically go on to be a woman in STEM. Hold on.

I want to be a woman in STEM. Hold on. Julianne Moore explains the process in which a chemical enters your body cocaine to marky mark the first time he does it which is chemistry that ain't stem there's also a lot of chemistry in this movie that ain't stem baby show me where's the chemistry the chemistry

gram in a lab the chemistry between julianne moore and mark Wahlberg during that first sex scene when she says to come in her. Oh, like romantic chemistry. Hey, who's having fun? Who's having fun? You're doing a little funny. Who's having fun? Okay. Josh was doing a funny we didn't realize.

What do we got? What's that? Degrees. Oh! How many degrees do you have? I have two degrees. I mentioned one of them already. A film degree from Penn State.

God, you just can't stop. I can't. And then I have a second, a master's degree in screenwriting from Boston University. I still just got my one in radio broadcasting. I dropped out of high school. Much like Roller Girl. I'm the Roller Girl of the Los Angeles East Side alternative comedy scene. I kept wanting to be able to draw parallels from the porn industry to the comedy community.

It's very similar. I think so. You're listening to 88.99. This is... Oh, I forgot. In the other episode where I did my R&B late night radio show voice, I gave the wrong name to the show. And the actual name of the show is way better. It's, you're listening to The Secret Spot.

Oh, no. That sounds like a Luis Guzman club name. The Rodriguez Brothers? It's supposed to be a G. And all he wants, he just wants to be in one of the movies. Yeah. He wants to be fucking a lady, which he doesn't get to do. He wants his brothers to see him fucking a lady.

No, but his brothers get to see him betraying Chess Rockwell and Reed Roth. Wait, Chess Rockwell and what was Dirk Diggler's fake name? Brock Landers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he gets punched and falls way too early. Oh. Fake name? Brock? Brock Landers. And then he gets punched and falls way too early. One of my favorite jokes in the movie is they're going shopping with the money that Dirk Diggler now has from being a star.

And they have a pair of shoes and someone goes, oh, are they lizard? And he goes, no, they're Italian. Loved it. My other favorite thing is Jesse St. Vincent in her oil paintings and how yes so bad they are oh very bad but that's another thing where it's like that she very quietly has an ambition and doesn't talk about it she doesn't externalize it like the men do and then also um what's her name um that don jito was with becky barnett becky barnett also just like gets

out of the industry marries a a man that she clearly liked more than don cheeto right uh he worked at pet boys yeah he was in the auto industry they moved to bakersfield and she was she got married and she was super happy and she was totally she seemed like the most well-adjusted one out of all of them and got the fuck out and was super quiet about it and so i think there is definitely something to the idea of the men just so externalizing their desires and the women internalizing them more and and but i think she out of everybody because everybody else's success comes at hitting a real bottom and as the movie has it she trans becky barnett she gets out she gets a family she's living in bakersfield with her husband who's got a nice job for that you know for like the early

80s little management baby yeah bring it uh yeah that is interesting i for i kind of forgot about becky um well she gets very little screen time she and jesse st vincent don't have a ton of screen time yeah i don't know i mean i i was i i kind of forgot about that and it's funny because i think it would be sort of like an easy gag to be like oh and jesse st vincent sucks at painting but no one in this movie is very good at anything regardless of gender everyone's kind of fucking mediocre and just scraping by like you know amber's documentary is not good john c reilly is not good at poetry or magic right like everyone's sort of fucking derrick is a horrible singer he's a yeah yeah and that's kind of sad like all of their ambitions with i don't know i can't i don't know if i can think of it i mean

jack horner's movies suck yeah i was just about to say they're not good and i mean sure like low budget porn movies aren't gonna be but i mean those are high budget for the time oh sure and then he he kept saying like i want to make films i want drama i want people to sit and watch and stew and come just because they're so engaged with the story. Well, I think the thing is, and this gets to another reason why I really like this movie, is that it portrays sex workers as just people. These people, they're not great, they're not bad,

they're somewhere in between, they're just human beings. Even the new trailer where it's the so-called feminist movie, where they accidentally kill a stripper like it's like the so-called feminist movie where they like accidentally kill a stripper you know it's like fuck you like yeah like they this this movie's portrayal of sex work is like an honest thing that just people do and then leave or then go back to or whatever it's the same as anything it's the same as any people and i think that is a really underplayed part of the movie is that just how fucking real all these people are and they also happen to be sex workers right yeah i'm on board co-signed you know what i would like to take credit for all that i like to co-sign but now it's mine

yeah yeah well as when you agree to do this podcast, if you give any cool and good opinions, they actually become ours. You should have read the fine print of the contract. Or listened to the podcast once before I did it. I'm going to flip the table. I'm going to flip the table. That's really all I ever want to do in my whole life. If I flipped a table today, I could

die tomorrow and be totally fine. Well, you got to wait to flip that table. It's got gotta be the perfect table because if you waste it on this i okay it's barely a table folks my here's how i think this is gonna go i'm gonna live to be 94 years old be on my deathbed and my great great grandchild be like hey you me me moo memoo. Did you ever flip that table? And I'll say, I'll look at my tattoo, which reminds me to do it. And I'll say, no, I never did.

And she'll set up a table. And then I'll almost flip it, but I'll die in the middle. Wait, no. Here's how I want it to happen. Wait, no, no. Here's how it should happen. So you're on a boat. You're very old. I'm going to die on a boat?

Oh, Titanic. Yeah. So you're going to be like, I've told my story about always wanting to flip a table. And then you're going to flip a table over the edge of a boat. And it's going to sink down into the water. And then you're going to go to sleep that night

and die. And then go to heaven. And you're going to see... Don't even start with the heaven scene i like tears jumped to my eyes just wait in titanic do they go to heaven yes titanic ends in heaven they go to heaven i'm sorry i haven't seen the movie a lot i still think it's a dream they go to heaven it's not a dream it's real life and it's so sad because they walk in and you're like it's all the b character no c characters and then oh they gotta hang out here too and then they're all there fabrizio that's not the version of heaven uh well there's a lot of parallel heavens. I don't understand why that would be.

Hold on. You can't just zoom right by that. There's a lot of parallel heavens. Oh, we're all aware of that. What? Also, why would heaven be the place where you died? No. All those people died on the ship.

Why would their version of heaven be like, oh, remember the ship that killed me? I'll get to start crying in a second. So Jesus is just on the cross in heaven, just hopping around on the bottom, why would their version of heaven be like, oh, remember the ship that killed me? I'm going to start crying in a second. Jesus is just on the cross in heaven, just hopping around on the bottom of the cross. That's not his heaven. But what if it's mine? That's what he's doing. He has to know a little bit in his heaven that he's doing that in mine.

It's parallel to Jesus. What if heaven is like you get plugged into the Matrix or whatever Matrix program you want and then you're like, this is how I do it. Don't make this into sci-fi i'm having fun with my heaven my heaven would be you know my heaven would be yeah that last scene in titanic except i am fabricio's girlfriend that's what it was so you're even a minor character in your own heaven ah fuck yeah it's like at the beginning i cast myself i only have 45 seconds of screen time in my own movie wow it's real it's it's round we're going in circles

just like we're on wheels my blood pressure is insane right now why did you bleed a lot or something no i feel like my blood's about to burst out of my body oh yeah that'd be weird i have all my orifices yeah there's a surprising weird if you decided bleeding. There's a surprising amount of murder in Titanic. There's a lot of blood. There's a lot of blood. A lot of blood from people's heads and mouths. What, in Titanic? No.

No, they cut that all out. I was like, can we talk about Titanic now? No, remember when they used the necklace to strangle all those people? Well, there's murder in both movies. There's murder. Wait, you know what? I'd love to keep talking about Titanic. I would not. I just about boogie nights i'm like i'm bored i want to talk about titanic that's just so good does anyone have any uh thoughts there's not heaven in it yeah there

is heaven in it there's heaven in boogie nights where heaven in boogie nights is the fucking when they all are dancing together and they all have a group dance routine on the disco that's a metaphor yeah for heaven yeah everything's great and we're never gonna die that's heaven titanic's real heaven and wait you take his hand and then it pans up and hey it's the captain end of movie i'm triggered um can we talk about the scene where dirk digler pulls out the huge dick hogs out that they've been talking about first of all i like that this movie is basically an extended objectification of a man based on his dick size yep he's just treated mostly as a commodity they're like you're we going to make money off you because you're a huge dick. And

that's what this movie's about. And you're too stupid. Like his mom's just like you're too stupid to know anything. Yeah. Go be something. Oh that yeah. That another hard scene to watch. Especially because he almost fucked his mom. God. I would

have forgiven everything if they had just said, give me a little kiss. What if he was like, mom, give me a little kiss. He's like, mom, mom. I do not endorse this. Give me a little kiss. I want to kiss my own mom.

Let's talk about the scene where he pulls his dick out. In front of his mom. Hogm moms coming soon to TBS. Very funny. Hog moms. I'm going to pass out. I need more oxygen.

Old hogs. Aristotle just left because he can't handle I bet he's doing an Aristotle poop break. No, he's jerking off. We haven't had one of those in months. We haven't, no. He's jerking off and someone's paying him 10 bucks, but he'll be thinking about a hog mom.

Wait, oh, okay. So this is what I was thinking about, about hogs. Okay. Old hogs. Wild hogs. Is that like a hogs reference? I mean, look, what isn't? But is it?

I don't, I've never seen Wild Hogs. But I assume. It's like about motorcycles, but it's also like old dicks. So you're confusing old dogs. You're confusing old dogs with wild hogs, which I totally understand. But they are two very different movies. Isn't there Old Hogs? No, that is a, that is a genre.

That is just a genre. That's not a movie. That's AARP pornography. If you go, yeah, there is a, I purchased just a genre that's not a movie that's aarp if you go yeah there is a um i purchased whippets last night at the exotic boutique right by my house there is an entire section of pornography that is like one of the titles was oops i fucked your grandma where do you get whippets at the porn place i do want everyone to know that I am the whippet comedian. God damn it. I'm going to be the Doug Benson of whippets.

I didn't know how many... I'm going to do all my shows at 311. Which is the time to vape and do whips. Getting whipped with it. Your theme song can be getting whippy with it. There is literally a song called Whip It. There is 100 is literally a song called whip it there's 100

already so you don't need to do any work for it you gotta rewrite to write a different song oh boy getting whippy with it wow that's so much extra all right deal you can hire out the person who wrote the bechtel cast theme song to write who's that that? Mike Kaplan wrote the lyrics. Okay. Josh is vaping again. I can see my peripherals and I'm going to scream. It's 311. Okay, okay. You know what? Turns out there is steampunk culture in the room. What are you talking about? With Josh's

weird chrome steampunk vape. Look, it's either this or I die from cigarettes. It's like as long as a bugle. It's ridiculous. If I push one of the buttons, a little flag unfurls. It says, bang, you got vaped.

He keeps blowing out smoke clouds. It's not smoke. It's vape. He keeps vaping little cogs out of his mouth and suede vests. I hate it. Hey, does anyone have any final thoughts about the movie? I like it.

Very poignant. Do you talk about how it passes the Bechdel test? Oh, yes. Because it does. It does. A couple different times. I was pleasantly surprised.

It's in the first five minutes it does. With the, I gotta pee. Yeah. Yeah. Roller Girl rolls up to Amber at the table and Amber's like, hey, did you call that girl?

You gotta get that checked out. If you don't call tomorrow, you won't be able to get to see her. Yeah. Presumably she has a UTI or an STI or something. Right. She resonated with me. She needs to get cleaned up. Like imagine someone, you know, like if you have a UTI and someone tries to talk to you

and you're like, huh, like there's someone tries to dance with her. She's like, I gotta go. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on fire I gotta go. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on fire. Then it happens again. There's a montage where we see a few different scenes between Amber and roller girl.

Again, they're doing a bunch of Coke. Yeah. Roller girl is like, let's take a pottery class. I want to get my GED. It lasts for maybe 15 seconds and then it cuts back. And then she,

they are talking about Dirk for a minute. They're like, I miss him. But then she's like, be my mom. a minute they're like i miss him but then she's like be my mom will you say that you're my mom and she's like yes honey i'm your mom and that's arguably the most intense part of the entire movie like like i mean it's a super intense movie at parts but i mean it's it to me it it's more intense than the violence it's more intense than any of like the actual physical violence done is just the emotional violence of that scene. It just they're so desperate and they need each other so much. And this world has given them fucking nothing.

And they just have each other. And it's like so intense. Yeah, I've got a I got a vape. Yeah, I got to vape this one off. I got to go pull an Aristotle. I want to talk about, just real quick, the romantic relationships or sort of lack thereof. Like, maybe Jack is, like, dating slash with Roller Girl and Amber. We're not really sure. Like, no one's really together.

Right. They're fucking on screen, like like on camera all the time but no one like really has except for like don cheadle and um jesse jesse and saint vincent the people who like get together and then they they pair off and then they basically leave the industry are like really the only ones who are like managed to like sustain a like a solid romantic relationship everyone who stays in it which like stands to reason. I mean, right. Like, right.

Imagine trying to sustain a relationship where you're just like, oh, but you gotta go fuck my friend for money. Right. But also like, it seems like Amber and Jack have an understanding, you know, they have a mutual respect.

Like almost like a Hefner-y kind of. But not even, I wouldn't even say Hefner-y because Jack, for as fucking weird as he is, and, and correct me if I'm wrong, as a man watching it, Jack never came off like a creep. Like the colonel or even the other, the guy that was the dying guy in Magnolia, that was the videotape guy. Oh, right, right, right. Like all of them like were fucking creeps. But to me, Jack never seemed like a creep.

He just seemed like he was like. I run a business and I know you're the type of people. That would be in this business. You need me I need you. And let's have an understanding. He didn't seem to exploit anyone more than necessary. More than they wanted to be exploited. For a moment at least.

And then afterwards. The only true moment of exploitation. You really saw at the hands of a woman with Jack was that limo scene. And Jack almost murdered the man afterwards that did it. I feel like it is obviously problematic, but there was an understanding. We could speculate as to why. He only went after him after he said, your movie sucked now anyway. And that's what triggered him to go and like beat the shit out of him.

Hashtag triggered. Triggered, triggered, triggered. And then it was Roller Girl who's like, you disrespected me. And then she stomps on his face with her roller skates. So who knows if he, if part of... I mean, he was talking about like,

hey, this is a woman. Don't treat her like just a hole, like in the fucking limo. So I mean, obviously, yeah, you could posit that it was his, the slight to his own ego that made him do yeah, you could posit it that it was the slight to his own ego that made him do it. I could totally see that. But it just was interesting to me in a movie where

it would have been so easy to paint people with such broad strokes. Paul Thomas Anderson did such a great job of finely detailing. The three names. Yeah. Jack's character is interesting to me. Because I don't No, Jack's character is interesting to me.

Because I don't think that he's a pervert either. But I feel like his whole narrative is just like this really sad, desperate search for integrity of some sort. Yeah. And it seems like he treats every area of his life with that approach of like, I'm going to approach the people I work with with integrity. I'm going to try to approach my own work with integrity. And none of it is great or works out well. But it's like, I feel like. He always compromises it.

He always compromises it when push comes to shove, but like wants to believe that he's this principled alpha boy. There's a scene as everyone else is deteriorating and their lives are going to shit his also sort of is because first of all he had to like compromise and switch to video which he didn't want to do and then he's directing a movie with john doe or whatever yeah the little boy and then j Plemons of this movie. And Jesse St. Vincent's like, is he going to fuck me in the ass? And he's like, I don't know. Do you want him to?

And she's like, yeah, that'd be great. He's like, all right, fuck her in the ass. Like, he just, he's kind of given up. He's like, well, I'm not, I can't, you know, what is that? This isn't directing. Right. This isn't the art I was making previously.

Drama. Drama, sit in your cum. I do like the scene where whenever This isn't the art I was making previously. Drama. Drama. Sit in your cum. I do like the scene where whenever Dirk comes back and is like, I need help. Can you help me? And he's just like, give me a hug, old pal. They make up. Yeah.

Yeah. But it is. God, those characters are so weird. And I think that Julianne Moore's character is kind of this, like, people who, like, get off on being needed by the people around them. Like, I think that Amber and Jack are both like that in a way that I feel like in real life is so weird. Codependent and poisonous. Yeah, yeah. Where they're like, you know, I know that you fucked up and I probably shouldn't forgive you but i need to feel important so i'm gonna make this big show of forgiveness and then you're just like oh this is not this is just gonna fall to shit again for sure i don't know i mean most of the people in the movie have pretty severe emotional baggage i mean like we said before uh one of the reasons

that dark leaves and like enters into this this enterprise is because his mom like was horny okay is that where you were going i was gonna say horribly emotionally horny she was very emotionally and verbally abusive okay uh she wanted to grow up daddy and Marky Mark Kiss. Yeah. Hey, Cook Daddy, come check this out. Oh, do I have to? Shut up. Oh, man. He's like, I'm just a Cook Daddy. Cut to,

directed by Joel and Ethan Coen. But the Joel Coen that made Garfield. We're going to make Caitlin kill herself. I'm going to flip a table. Yeah. His mom was very

emotionally and verbally abusive and, you know, he had a horrible home. Wouldn't even kiss him once. So he had to leave. And so, like, I mean, we don't know a lot of other people's backstories or any really. But we can kind of imagine that they all have a lot of emotional baggage. Except Cosmo, the Chinese boy who throws fireworks. Who is the true hero of the tale.

Oh man, that scene is, oh god. It's just one hard scene to watch after another. That scene is not hard to watch. Yes it is. That scene is the easiest scene to watch. That scene is such a payoff after so much brutal fucking awful shit. It's just funny.

It's funny, but I mean with the firecrackers going off, it's so startling. It's so startling and I love how they're so jumpy. It's just funny it's funny but i mean with the firecrackers going off oh yeah it's very startling yeah no that's true startling and i love how they're so jumpy it's just the most tense yeah it is literally hard to watch in that there's booms and bangs throughout it but it's not hard to watch like emotionally sure no yeah exactly but yeah man oh that seems so funny and tom jane what a performance by Tom Jane. Who's that? Oh, the dancer. The stripper dancer.

Yeah, the stripper who comes in and ruins the heist at the end. Who's Reed's friend. But yeah, Tom Jane fucking kills it as the Chippendales dancer turned coke addict. Turned guy who introduces them all to crystal meth. And I love watching his car. Like, as soon as Tomane introduces them to crystal meth then you just the next time you see uh dirk tickler's car it looks like absolute shit like throughout all the coke his car looked fine but then the minute he was like because that was also the

first time that he was a dick to roller girl was when tom jane was like careful to only do bumps this is crystal and and fucking dirk ticker's, I don't fuck. He just takes a whole rail. And then Roller Girl comes in. She's like, how are you? And he's like, whatever. Yeah. I was impressed with how long Dirk Diggler is decent to people in this movie. He gets pretty far.

Like peak Philip Seymour Hobbit. I'm such a dummy, but I'm so horny. That's every Philip Seymour Hobbit character ever.'m such a dummy but i'm so horny uh that's every philip seymour hoffman character ever but marky mark handles it rather well and he's like no but i love you and you're my friend yeah we're friends scotty and then he leaves and it was like oh what a sweet little buff teenager yeah yeah he was such a sweet teen meat. He was. Sweet teen beef. Sweet teen beef. Sweet teen beef. Kiss your mom.

Shout out to all our sweet teen beef daddies out there. Hubba hubba. Friends of the cast. Hogs out. Hogs out, baby. Hogs out, sweet teens. Of consenting ages, of course. If you're of consenting age, whip out you're consenting age without that hog

that's why i say in public at night whoa my phone just buzzed and said time for bed look it's a time for bed yeah go to bed 4 p.m why did i do that you gotta go to sleep now. You talk too much about tea and beef. Time for bed. Time for bed. Well, does anyone have anything else they want to say about the movie?

Oh, we said that 20 minutes ago. Alfred Molina steals the scene. Oh, God. The one scene. The only scene that matters. If that movie was just that scene, I'd love it just as much. I would like to draw the comparison of

Alfred Molina's scene stealer in Boogie Nights to Christopher Walken's scene stealer in Geely, which is another movie we've done on the that Caitlin gets upset just thinking

about. I'm furious right now. Geely! You're making me vape. You're driving me to vape with this Geely talk. I'm sorry. It's a really good scene. Christopher Walken clearly has food he brought from craft services and has it in the scene the whole time. We could hear you vaping.

Oh, my God. I'm trying to do it as audibly as possible because I do not care at all about this story. What a loud vape. I'm the Pete Holmes of vaping. Should we rate the movie? Yes. Okay.

What's your scale? Oh, zero to five nipples. And nipples being great. Five nipples is the highest score. Nipples are good. Well, duh. You gotta describe them. Okay, so you guys go first

or do you want me to go first? You go last. Because you're a man. Put your muzzle back on and shut up for a minute. I just got mad for a second. But now I'm okay. Oh, no. He's vaping too much.

He's out of control. He's in the mainframe. He vaped too hard. I hacked in. He hacked into the mainframe with his digital face. I see everything. Numbers are color. How many nipples would you give it, though?

Oh, man. Again, this movie is... It's a hard one. That's right. It's a little Muppet noise. I mean, I guess three and a half it's again it's a movie about people working in porn which again is an industry that revolves almost entirely around objectifying people although uh i think there are maybe some recent developments in the porn industry where people are kind of like

taking back power and like this is porn for women and by women and it's not so horrible. Yeah, because everyone's going to come all the time. You're never going to stop people from coming. You could just stop the people from getting hurt to make other people

come. Please stop reading my uncle's tombstone podcast incredibly triggering unbelievable i guess r.i.p uncle louis we miss you i for this is me uncle louis i'm down here in hell let me tell you, I'm getting my hog ripped off every day. It's a dream come true. Wait, he's getting his hog ripped off? Oh, it's so good. Who knew?

Who knew this is what made it? There's so many different versions of heaven. You know, Uncle Louie is getting his dick ripped off every day. Hey, he should call the doctor who gave birth to you twice because he did a penis you know your uncle louis is getting his dick ripped off every day hey he should call that uh the doctor who gave birth to you twice because he did a penis transplant oh we should add that to the list what was i born in may or august we don't know how many nipples okay i'd say like three and a half again good points were made but i still wanted to see women have, I just wanted to see them be more ambitious or have like more clearly defined desires that were a bit more cathartic because we see like the men be like, I got my stereo store now.

Or I'm a performing magician. And then like the women are just like, well, I kind of, I don't really do anything. thing but um for a movie that could have treated the female characters in it very poorly it didn't and it even addressed like violence towards women in porn so i think overall it did a pretty good job but i i still have some some complaints about it hell yeah some notes some complaints i'm gonna give it three and a half as well I think that's good for all the reasons you said and also there are some scenes where it's like we're using naked ladies as set dressing in this scene maybe a little bit

they also linger on roller skating around like pretty much looking headless women of Hollywood style yeah yeah yeah we see that a bunch. Yeah, that's true. So I'll give it three and a half as well.

I'm going to give two nipples, two hard, troubled nipples to Cuck Daddy and give one leaky faucet nipple to Horny Mommy and give a half nipple to horny mommy and give a half nipple to

the pervert who got beat up in jail this is a five nip this is a 525 600 nipples this is a five nipper for me okay defend yourself yeah defend your nip choice i mean it's my favorite movie it takes interest it takes a it takes a subject that is i mean this was 1997 like eight heads in a duffel bag and like you know whatever like those like let's go kill a stripper like there was nothing at all about the adult industry that treated any of them like the human beings that they are and it also was like the soundtrack was phenomenal the movie was just like i just thought that the most complex characters in the movie were the most complex character in the movie to me was amber you know everybody else was pretty straightforward and julianne moore's performance in amber or as amber

like i fell in love with when I was 15 years old. Like, I wanted her to be my horny mommy. And I just, like, couldn't handle it. It's, like, her performance, I think it's one of the most, like, emotionally complex. And, like, she's so much more developed than every other man. Every man, because their wants and needs are so distinct and often so external. Also quite delusional. Also 100% delusional.

She just seems, I don't know, she's the anchor of that movie. She's the glue of the movie. She's the jizz that glues the pages shut in the script of that movie. I love her. And I also like watching Roller Girl stomp the shit out of that fucking i love her and i also like watching roller girl stomp the shit out of that fucking asshole that ruled i don't know i mean i totally understand your three and a half nips and uh as a as a boy as a boy toy as as oopsie otter uh i i am allowing myself the privilege to not get triggered I'm using my priv

and everybody's just themselves and like going through everybody male and female are just constantly playing with their looks like that's a super underrated part of the movie is that constantly everybody's playing with their look and Don Cheadle's like when he shows up as Rick James and then he finally takes off that

stupid wig and just gets honest. Yeah. And then they fall in love. They talk about sunrise. They're better than sunset. Yeah. It's like the cutest thing. And then they have a baby and they are actually in love.

Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. I thought it was super uplifting. And again, the score is amazing. I love watching dummies fall in love. Yeah, stupid people. That was like the best scene of like, you like the sunset?

I like the sunset. Oh, my God. But Sunrise is better. But Sunrise is good. Oh, I feel the same way about this thing. I thought I was the only. Yeah, it was nice. And I was like, aw.

My other favorite moment from the movie is when I think it's William H. Macy is talking to, I want to say, like the DP or something like that. And they're talking about the movie that they're supposed to shoot in a couple days and they're like well is there even a script and they're like i don't know like they clearly just make up the scenes as they go story doesn't matter and they're just fine with it well there's a line that i also like whenever i make a thing like my friends and i make a thing uh we always say like when we're lighting and there's shadows shadows in life dude like this that that just like yeah why are we gonna light're lighting and there's shadows shadows in life dude like this that just like yeah why are we gonna light this

it's there's shadows in life like that's their whole that's like a production mentality is there's shadows in life yeah that's the name of my new emo band alright there's shadows in life I like sweet teen beef is my like

fucking vroom vroom motorcycle music. Oh, man. I was getting rubbed. Everybody's just getting rubbed. Genderless rub. Non-binary rub, sweet teen beef. Oh, yeah. You just have to tag it with the name.

So my nips belong to Cosmo two of them belong to cosmo the chinese because those are firecracker nips he's also wearing a rick springfield shirt uh while jesse's girl plays uh they love jesse's girl um two of my nips have to go to julianne moore's perfect pink nips as that you've mentioned they are perfect uh so i got one and a half more nips as that you've mentioned are perfect uh so i got one and a half more nips one of those nips is the one that's poking out of scotty's tank top uh when his arms are crossed and the the half nip that's my man louis wait are you giving the movie five and a half nipples five and a half nips because louis guzman puts it over the top you can't deny those nips. No. You can't deny those

Guzman nips. Great. I feel good about all of our choices here today. We did it. Thank you so much. Thanks for being here. Hey, thank you so much.

Hey, where can people find you online? You can find me at twitter.com backslash help me at shutupandruski. Cool.

Yeah, you're going to read it. You're looking at it. Fans want to know, where'd you get that horrible vape? Burbank, California. Let's burn it down. I run a show here at Nerd Melt every month called Reunited that's fun and good. And the next one's April 9th? question mark why should i know i'm just the program director and i'm just the person who hasn't put any work into it yet i think it's in

two weeks i'm a wild card i don't care yeah come it's me and brian cook and we make fun of stuff from tv and we've had greg proops and also and also so many people that are good. Karen Kilgariff played a ghost once. It was great. Ooh, that rules. Hey, Jamie, do you want to plug anything? Your new band. No. Your new band, Sweet Tindy. My new band, No Shadows in the Desert. What was I going to call it?

Shadows and Life. Shadows and Life. I exhaust myself. You don't need to pay attention to me this week. You can check out my new hit single, Getting Whippy With It. You made me laugh vape out. Vape out? I'm going to bury you alive. Hell yeah, dude. I'm down. Let's go to the beach.

All right. Beach time. You can also follow the podcast on Twitter at Bechtelcast. And you can rate and review us. Hey, we got more reviews. We got more reviews. All positive. Thanks, guys, for reviewing us. We really appreciate it.

No haters. And everyone, just support movies that feature women and that treat women well. And treat the women in your life well. Yeah. If your horny mommy says, give me a little kiss, give horny mommy a little kiss. Nope, okay, bye. Give mommy a kiss.

All right, bye. Hey, y'all. Niminy here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop.

Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption

that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti. And I'm Jermaine Jackson-Gadson. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do,

like negotiation expert Maury Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.