The Bechdel Cast - Coming to America with Amanda Seales
Episode Date: March 16, 2017Caitlin and Jamie invite Amanda Seales to discuss Coming to America! This episode will arouse your intellect as well as your loins.(This episode contains spoilers)Follow @amandaseales on Twitter! Whil...e you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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New episodes every Thursday. and husbands or do they have individualism the patriarchy's effing vast start changing it with
the bechdel cast hello and welcome to the bechdel cast my name is caitlin my name is jamie and we're
here to talk about movies but what about in movies we're well did we already mess it up
yeah i think that there's like a 10 second threshold of how long it takes for one of us to speak in an
unintelligible fragment.
Just really derail it. We talk
about women in movies. Women.
Women. Women. Women. This podcast is
inspired by the Bechdel test,
which requires that a movie
has two women characters in it
that talk to each other about something other
than a man. Someday I want to play a prank and
say that the Bechdel test was invented by
Mr. Joseph Bechdel.
It has nothing to do
with women at all. That would be
a hilarious joke.
Can we say we got iced? We got iced.
For those of you who don't know what being
iced is, which is probably
everybody.
Jesus Christ. I'm like
first of all I feel attacked. I'm sorry. I'm like first of all, I feel attacked.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
This is
an assault on all my senses.
If you are listening
and you have been iced,
please reach out to me.
Let's meet up.
Tweet at hamburger phone.
You can come to my house. We'll just have a conversation
and then at some point point I'll ice you.
If you don't know what being iced is in this context,
it's when someone presents you
with a Smirnoff Ice
taking you by
surprise.
Oh, jeez. I've been iced.
I've been iced.
And then you have to, I guess,
get down on one knee and then chug the Smirnoff Ice.
Yes. There's like a lot of pomp and circumstance surrounding the ice.
Essentially, it's moving a lot of product for the Smirnoff company.
I don't think it's been practiced in at least five years besides before today.
Right.
It seems to be a very regional, potentially just New England thing.
New England circa 2010 and 11.
Yeah.
Apparently.
That's the last time I saw it.
Anyway, Aristotle, our producer, he iced us because we were talking about it last week.
I hate snakes.
Jamie and I are both drinking Smirnoff ices.
Well, you finished yours.
You actually chugged it.
Because I was iced the way you're supposed to be iced.
And I am a little baby and I can't chug anything, so I'm still drinking it.
And now I have my signature Mike's Harder lemonade.
Yes.
My white trash.
My ode to white trash every week. Just take a Mike's Harder lemonade. Yes. My ode to white trash every week.
Just take a Mike's Hard
to the face.
Oh, gross. Wait, no.
Take it back. No, wait.
No, that's my dad's name.
Oh, no.
I need to leave. I need to go home.
Well, let's not do that. Let's instead
introduce our guest this week.
Okay. Good intro, though.
Yes.
That was, it turned, it started out pretty rocky, took a turn for the better, I think.
Ended with my dad's hard dick.
Yeah.
No.
Anyway, our guest.
Our guest today.
No.
She just found out that she's going to be a series regular on HBO's Insecure.
She also produces a live comedy show at Nerd Melt called
Smart, Funny, and Black the first Tuesday of
every month. And she's a very funny comedian.
Amanda Seals.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for having me.
Oh my god.
This is like
R&B 1am. Exactly.
Yeah. Very horny all of a sudden.
New additions.
Can you stand the rain?
Can you stand the rain?
From Mike's hard...
From Mike's hard...
That's for my dad when he's making love.
Oh my God!
R&B radio.
We're doubling down on this and it's killing me.
Do you think that people only say making love
in the Pacific Northwest? That's my
theory. It seems like a very Pacific Northwest
thing to do. I think it's pretty
widespread. Yeah. People make love
everywhere. I think they make love everywhere.
Oh, gross. All right. Well,
it didn't happen here.
You've got no argument for me that it isn't.
No one's ever said that to me.
Yeah. Well, once someone said it to me, I was like, I need to go somewhere else.
Yeah.
Don't say that.
Let's make love.
Let's make love.
Yeah.
But like making love to me, it has nothing to do with sex.
Like if we're going to make love, that means that we're going to like put a puzzle together
and drink hot cocoa.
Exactly.
Because that's love.
Like something that you don't totally want to do.
Yeah. Because that's love. Like something that you don't totally want to do. Like you're going to watch me do a full interpretive dance to the intro music to Harry Potter and still like me after.
If someone I'm dating comes to a show I'm on, that to me is closer to making love than fucking.
Yeah.
Because that is inconvenient for them.
It's very easy to get a man to have sex with you.
It's very hard to get them to come to your comedy shows.
I had a guy tell me on Valentine's Day
that he was tired from meetings
and so he could not come to my one-woman show.
He was too tired to watch me perform
for an hour and a half by myself, which is so many layers.
They're tiring by the way.
And he even put in the text, the hustle is real.
Oh, gross.
No.
Yeah.
With two exclamation points.
No.
And then you made love to him later that night.
No.
I don't know what my version of making love would be.
It would be like, I don't know.
I mean, that was real, what you said about them coming to a show.
Like, that's, you're making love.
For me, it would be like being quiet for a little while.
Just quiet.
You want me to not talk for five minutes?
This is how I make love.
Oh, you're saying like what your version of making love to someone else would be?
Yeah, like stuff I would be like inconvenienced by.
Sports-related endeavors I would consider making love on my part.
For me, I think it would be like having them lure some feelings out of me,
like having me express some feelings which I don't usually like to talk about.
It would be like, stop talking about your feelings.
Right, that's what it is for me.
I'm like cancer.
Feelings.
I'm a Leo.
I'm just like,
I have feelings, they are important.
Also, I'm in charge of all of this.
And you.
People love it.
People love it. People love it.
Yeah.
Hey, should we talk about the movie?
I don't know.
Well, the making love combo
is a good segue for the movie.
That is true.
Pretty good.
The movie that we're here
to talk about today
is Coming to America.
Yeah.
Which I think you said
is your favorite movie?
Of all time.
So you grew up with it.
When was the first time you saw it?
Ooh.
When is the first time I saw it oh when is the
first one i saw coming to america i honestly don't even know because it came out in 88 yeah i was too
young to see it in the theater but i definitely had it on vhs sure i'm pretty sure i saw it when
i was eight yeah because back then it took a year for something to come from the theater to a vhs
which by the way i was trying to go see moana and they're like, that's on DVD now.
What?
Oh, you tried to go to the theater and you're like, wasn't it just out in like November?
Yes.
That's weird.
That's too fast.
That's too fast.
I literally was like, I finally have time to go see Moana.
And then I saw a commercial that I could just stay home.
You could just have it.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love it so much.
You love it.
Yeah.
That's a large expression of feelings.
You just made love to Moana.
I made love to Moana.
All right.
That makes me feel good about it.
Seeing that 16-year-old, the voice of Moana, sing at the Oscars, I was like, maybe I could
fuck with Moana.
I could do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that like a formal princess movie?
Not that I won't. I see you like is like does she is it a princess like with the dress joining the franchise yeah i
mean i'm sure they'll try to poise it like that but this movie is quite unique in terms of disney
this film is quite unique yeah caitlin has two wait we always forget to say this. Well, I don't like to mention it,
but I do have a master's
degree in screenwriting.
I hate bringing it up.
Do you?
I don't like to talk about it.
We're pulling it out of you.
I feel sick.
It could be the Smirnoffites that you just chugged.
No, that
went down easy.
Like my sweet nectar.
I'm going to Chuck E. Cheese after this to see how much they'll serve me.
You said there's a two-drink limit?
In theory.
I feel like it will not be hard.
It's going to be packed.
It's Friday night.
It's Friday night.
The typical poppin' night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chuck E. Cheese.
They're going to be busy as hell.
Anyway.
So, Coming to America.
I had seen it before.
I want to say, like, maybe five years ago.
So, I wasn't that familiar with it.
I had just seen it that once.
Jamie, had you seen it before?
I had not.
You all are so white.
Oh, my God.
That was, like, the whitest sentence I heard today.
No.
From both of you.
Like, literally any black person listening just gasped that you'd never seen Coming to America.
Only because it is on all the time.
And it's one of those movies that like if I'm skipping channels and I see it on, I have to stop and watch it.
Like I can't not watch it.
I know that it was one of my dad's favorite movies and we had it.
We know a lot about your dad.
First of all, my dad's name
is Mike.
Yeah. Shout out to my
dad's girlfriend, whose name is Lisa.
Great segue back to the movie.
Oh my god.
We had it on VHS
and then I think by the time I was old enough
to watch it, we no longer had a VHS player, so I just never saw it.
But I loved it. It's so good.
Should I do the recap?
Do the recap.
Okay, so I do a very bad recap in most episodes.
Let me hear this.
To everyone's dismay.
We've got Akeem, played by Eddie Murphy.
He's the prince in a fictional African country or kingdom called Zamunda.
That's correct.
And he just turned 21 and his dad, James Earl Jones, the king, is like, you got to marry this lady.
And he's like, she's very boring.
I don't like her.
So he goes to America to find a bride with his friend Arsenio Hall.
A.K.A.
Friend and servant.
Friend and servant.
His name is Semmy.
And they, like, go to Queens
and he meets this woman
who is the daughter of a McDonald's ripoff chain restaurant
called McDowell's.
And he falls in love with her.
But he, the whole thing is that he wants someone
who is just going to love him for who he is. So like, he pretends to not have any of his riches. And he just pretends to be like a commoner, very much Jasmine in Aladdin. And they interesting. Yeah. So they like fall in love. And then like some things happen. But she's also got this like boyfriend who kind of, Daryl. And, you know, some hijinks ensue.
Involving Sam Jackson.
Yes.
Oh, I loved that scene.
I love that he was in it.
I love that Louis Anderson is in this movie.
I totally forgot about that.
Randomly.
That's when I'm going to make the big bucks.
Arsenio makes a very pretty lady. I'm going to tear the big bucks Arsenio makes a very pretty lady
I'm going to tear you up
I don't even know where I first saw him
but when I was a kid I had a huge crush
on Arsenio Hall
I think this is like the youngest
I had ever seen him
I had a crush on him when he was already old
That was my M.O. as a child
Some people like Disney princes.
You like middle-aged black guys.
That's your Cs.
Arsenio Hall, Alex Trebek, Kelsey Grammer.
Wow.
Just middle-aged is your flavors.
I had a very big crush on Jim from The Adventures of Huck Finn.
Oh.
The Elijah Wood one.
Mm-hmm.
Played by Courtney B. Vance.
Yes.
None of this surprises me.
Also, Alfred Molina in Spider-Man 2 made me so horny as a 12-year-old.
I had a poster of Doc Ock in my room because my mom, I think, was like, you know, she's a tomboy.
She's into action movies now.
And I was just like horny for Molina.
That's very peculiar. he's not a typical
heartthrob no he's a beefcake he's a beefcake with a bad attitude i love him with a bad attitude
so anyway that's the story of coming to america the whole thing is that like as he says in the
movie akim wants a woman who will arouse his intellect as well as his loins. Yes.
Love it.
But I want a woman who will arouse my intellect as well as my loins.
I love the accents that they, like, go in and out of throughout the entire movie.
Just whatever's comfortable.
But the best part of the movie is that there's, like, all these,
just, like, every scene is funny.
Like, there's no not funny scene.
And as a comic, I appreciate that there aren't any throwaway lines in this movie.
You can watch this movie and line for line, there's set up punch.
It all makes a point that stays consistent throughout.
And then you just have all these random characters that are played by, for the most part,
Arsenio and Eddie Murphy.
So good.
See, those scenes, just as a, again,
coming from a screenwriting master,
a lot of those scenes felt very unneeded.
I feel like they were just like,
hey, we can do different characters.
Let's have a barbershop thing.
I have a genuine
question. I'm sure that this was not the first time
that was done, but was this one of the movies that
popularized doing that that
led us to Jack and Jill?
Or of the main
star playing multiple characters?
That's a really great question because I don't have
a frame of reference for any other film.
I feel like the Alan Sandler movies are the worst possible
endgame of that trope.
But it works so well in this movie, because half the time
you have to do a double take,
where in the Jack and Jill kind of movies
it's like, oh, Jesus Christ.
They might have popularized it for
mainstream comedies, but there's a bunch of movies that
like, um...
Wizard of Oz! I think Doctor Strangelove. Different actors play different characters. it for like mainstream comedies but there's a bunch of movies that like um yeah wizard of oz
that's true i think dr strange love different actors play different characters can i um uh
can i give some insight into why the barbershop scenes are necessary sure yeah because when hakeem
when hakeem and simi come over to america they're like oh we need to go where the common parts are. We need to be with the common people.
Let's go to Queens. So they go to
Queens and they're like trying
to like immerse themselves into like
black American culture
and the barbershop is an
integral part of
black American culture and experience
and just kind of like the shit talking
that happens in the barbershop
and the barbershop ends up being like what leads them in the right direction for him to meet Lisa.
Right.
You know, because and so like it serves as like the parents for him in America.
Right.
That he didn't like when he was in.
Well, yeah, because the barber like leads him directly to Lisa.
He's like, go to this.
And leads his father to Lisa. He's like, go to this black awareness rally. And leads his father to him.
Like,
they're kind of like
this centralized nucleus
that serve as
the home base
for Queens
the same way that like,
essentially,
it's like saying like
the barbershop is the palace
for Queens.
Yeah.
That's a very good point.
I think maybe I just think
that those scenes go on
too long.
You're missing the comedy.
Man, you ain't never met no Martin Luther
the King. Yes, I did. No, you did not.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Who's next?
I did really like that.
They brought up
Rocky Marciano. Yeah, he's from my
hometown and I was like, oh, it's the one
white boxer. Hey, that's
he from where I'm from
nice yeah shout out to Brockton City Champions aka Rocky Marciano was born there a very long
time ago there was in my at my high school there is a 50 foot statue of Rocky Marciano
it's gaudy and we like it is a very low income like where did that money come from to make that
we don't know we don't know it's still loose with a hundred five twenty five everybody know that he was lying about his age everybody know that all those users are so good
i love oh i know i'm you know what i gotta have i gotta be contrary sometimes you know
i know well you're you know what you're training i know i gotta get rid of them i gotta just let
loose set them on fire. Don't need them.
I really don't.
So we talked about some of those characters.
Of the women in the movie, we have the Queen Mother.
Queen El Olo.
Yeah.
Queen Alien?
That was a good scene too.
Lisa McDowell is the I'd say the main
woman character
her sister Patrice
love Patrice
Patrice is the voice of like
real I don't know every time I was just like
man Patrice
not everybody thinks like you yes they do
they just don't admit it right
yeah that's like our intro to Patrice
and then when she ends up with arsenio
i'm just like she wins in my head because she got to make out with arsenio hall
i love how horny she is the whole time so horny and she has great outfits which is
all my favorite movie characters fit that description when they're at the basketball
game i'm like oh she's just gonna it. Yeah, she just gives him like an
under-the-coat handjob at a basketball
game. Peak Patrice.
So those are pretty much the most notable
women characters in the movie. There's also
Imani, who is the bride
to be that he leaves back
in Zamunda, who's just
very dumb. Yeah. I just like whatever
food and music you like.
Bark like a dog.
Oof!
Oof!
A big dog.
Woof!
Woof!
Yeah, she does worse and worse.
Hop on one leg.
Think it's only going to rank a ten.
Oof!
Oof!
Oof!
And I love that the father comes in and is like, I see you are getting along nicely.
Yeah.
Or later when he's just like, I fuck the ladies that bathe me.
Yeah.
Don't you?
I was like, man, you're poor.
Poor queen.
I know.
She knows what's up.
But in their first scene, they're basically like, we don't love each other.
Time for you to get married.
We figured it out.
Right, right, right.
They have an arrangement.
I was nauseous when I had to marry your father.
She's great.
The first thing I wanted to talk about is how many of the characters have very
poor attitudes toward women we start with uh arsenio hall he's like look a lady just has to
have a very nice face and a very hot butt and very like a snap of melons and he's like why do you
care what her opinions are and meanwhile eddie murphy is like i want a
woman who gives my brain a boner and then he's like what a great attitude my question in the
movie i'm just like man where did he where does this come from for you right where does he derive
this from right because his dad doesn't feel that way it seems like his interaction but i was like
you know i don't care you know what i would say that's the only hole in the film. We don't know why.
I know that Caitlin believes there are very
wide gaping holes. I don't think that.
But I do feel like
that is a hole. We never find out
why he
in particularly has decided
this is the case.
I thought they were going to tell us in the scene where he's
on the date with Lisa
and she basically asks him that question of like, why do you think this way?
Even though she still thinks he's poor at the time.
Right.
And he gives her an excuse, but he doesn't like give us.
I was like, I want to know.
Is there a director's cut maybe?
Right.
I'm like, is there?
Did you read?
See, that didn't bother me.
Like, he's just a free thinker.
He got sick of like just being pampered.
Who gets sick of that?
The royal penis is clean.
That was great.
I was wondering if maybe this year I could tie my shoelaces.
No, he said, I wonder if maybe this year I could wipe myself.
He's like, very funny, Your Highness.
Yeah.
And then James Earl Jones has a great line about the shoelaces.
I tied my shoelaces once.
It was a very overrated experience.
Everything is good.
Yeah, I mean, it didn't bother me.
I was just like, you know, he's a free thinker.
He's a nice guy.
Yeah.
I mean, of all the plot holes that could exist, this is one I'm okay with.
He respects women as a plot hole?
Great. Great. Cool. I do feel
bad for the rose bearers who lose
their jobs. He's like, I don't
want you to throw rose petals at my
feet anymore. And I'm like, what's going to happen
to the rose bearers? They'll become
dick wipers. They get repurposed.
They get promoted to
royal penis cleaning amazing all
what a resume yeah that's like when i worked at the gap and this chick was like i really can't
wait to become a denim specialist and i was like i gotta quit i can't can't stay here i worked at a
place once in alston mass yeah called swiss bakers don't go. And we were called guest huggers, which is disgusting.
The Swiss are perverts.
I was the shift lead.
I'd show up at four in the morning.
I was 21.
I shouldn't have been there.
And then the owner was this Swiss guy
and he's like, you know, you're guest huggers.
So if a guest comes in and asks to hug you,
you must oblige.
No, it's not against the law.
Absolutely, 100%. It's against
the law. But to them, against the law
equals swift custom.
And if someone, if some
pervert, per se, wanders
in at 5.30 in the morning and is like,
I want a hug, you gotta hug them.
Did that happen? It happened several
times. Very few people actually wanted hugs.
But the only people who want hugs
are the people you don't want to be hugging.
So that's my dick wiper job.
Because to an extent it was a dick wiper job.
Yeah, no, definitely.
And then I had to make them a latte.
Yuck.
Gross.
I'm sorry.
You know what?
I'm doing okay.
I recovered.
You're drinking a lot of Mike's Hard Lemonade, though.
That's true.
I don't know.
Hitting the sauce hard, post-guest hugging.
Yeah.
Snumbing the effects.
Imagine waking up at 3.30 in the morning to go feel someone's hard dick.
No!
At 5.30 in the morning.
That just sounds like riding the train in New York.
That's true.
At least I was getting paid.
That's true.
Touche.
So Arsenio's, you know, attitudes toward women are not very great.
And then neither is the king.
He's just like, oh, who cares?
She's a woman and she's hot and we picked her for you.
So marry her.
Yeah.
Then we.
Daryl.
Daryl is the next person.
Daryl is Lisa's boyfriend.
Whenever we first meet Lisa.
He's all like, a woman just needs to be taken care of.
You don't need to work.
I'll take care of you.
I got my, what's the name of the hair product?
Just let your soul glow.
Just let it shine through, baby.
Just let your soul glow.
Yeah, he's got that soul glow fortune.
He's like, let me just take care of you.
When this episode comes out, I'm going to make that my ringtone.
Genuine question again.
What is Lisa's job exactly at McDowell's?
She's on the computer a lot.
I think she does the books.
Yeah, she seems like she's crunching numbers.
She's got a custom charge.
She's their social media coordinator.
She's a recent grad.
She's figuring things out.
She's working it out.
No, I think she's like their bookkeeper.
Right, because she has this like...
And she's the one who's like, donate, you know.
All right, we got to fix up Lincoln Park.
That's the scene where we all fall in love with Lisa.
Absolutely.
What a grant-motivated, beautiful person.
It is also the scene that
is what makes the movie
one of the best movies ever made in the history of the world.
Because we get to meet Randy Watson.
Randy Watson? You might know him
as Joe the Policeman from the What's Going Down
episode of That's My Mama.
That's not where I know him from.
Oh, Randy Watson. But that scene is another Bechdel-esque scene. That's not where I know him from.
But that scene is another Bechdel-Dest scene,
like how they have all the women in bikinis.
Right.
So that Black Awareness Rally is really just like a beauty pageant with religious speeches.
But no one wins.
Why didn't anyone win?
At the end he was like
everyone show your ass
and now you can leave
I was like
but wait who won
who won Miss Black Goddess
so I think that
what that's reference is
have you ever seen Jet Magazine
yes
so Jet Magazine
was like a little mini magazine
but it's like a
it's a legendary black
women's magazine
and I wouldn't necessarily say it's a black women's magazine but it's like it was a legendary black women's magazine and um i wouldn't necessarily say it's a black women's
magazine but it's like it was like a black is it still in print like is it yeah no they're on
they stopped printing it was like a whole thing like maybe two and a half years ago and every
issue of jet magazine had a jet beauty of the week and the jet beauty of the week would be like in some very 80s bikini and sitting on like a rock
you know or some shit and then it would have like her likes and her you know her goals and it was
always just vapid bs but the black awareness rally is essentially like here are the jet
beauties of the week like that's essentially what they're doing.
I didn't look up who, I wonder who the women in the actual line of,
I wonder if they were from anywhere.
Yeah, if any of them were that.
Well, in the scene with the three guys from Mighty Sharp,
from the barbershop,
the three of them are sitting there at the Black Awareness Rally.
In front of them, in the row in front of them,
is director F. Gary Gray,
who directed Straight Outta Compton and Friday. No way!
That's crazy.
Just trying to bring y'all some
extra facts. Thank you.
Some black facts.
This is, yeah,
there were so many things I had to pause,
which isn't, like, ordinary
for just, like, watching a comedy, is, like, I had to pause, which isn't ordinary for just watching a comedy.
I had to pause multiple times and be like, wait a second.
I had to find the list of who is Eddie, who is Arsenio.
Really?
Yeah, because I didn't know that that was a part of the movie.
And so by the time I figured it out, I'm like, wait, what did I already miss?
Miss.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
There is a lot of sexism though i really it's like almost like i
i mean i know that but it never made me like the movie less sure it's almost like a little john
song there's i mean there are there are some i don't know and i guess like eddie murphy who's
like kind of a arguably like a problematic dude in a lot of ways
like in regards to his stand up
anyways
I wasn't totally surprised to see
some like women butt of the
joke thing like at the beginning
before we meet the really hot lady
who doesn't have any thoughts of her own
the person who introduces her
you know is like a bigger woman
and he's like
right he thinks that's going to be his bride we the person who introduces her you know is like a bigger woman and he's like oh yeah yeah yeah uh
and then he thinks that that's gonna be his bride the joke is he doesn't find her attractive you
know um and there's like a few things like that that i man it's not that i gave the benefit of
the doubt but i wasn't like surprised to see because i've seen eddie murphy's stand like i
don't know i was like i wasn't totally surprised to be like, oh, this movie isn't
amazing to women. I was honestly
surprised that I
loved Lisa so much and Lisa was so
clearly awesome.
She was very definitively
not about the bullshit.
But she was pretty much the only
woman character who was like that.
Every other woman we see.
What about Patrice?
Patrice, I mean, Patrice she was a face sexually free third wave feminism kim kardashian's a
feminist type you could see both ways yeah because maybe at the time it was like oh this is like the
sluttiest sister yeah but i i don't know through through 2017 2017 goggles she's just sexually liberated
I think she was just like more
she's more like a
she was the basketball wives sister
yeah yeah yeah
like she's more like
why does she always get the rich guys
like she's like damn
well that brings me to the
fourth dude character
who is not very great toward women
which is their dad Cleo McDowell.
Oh, yeah.
He's basically just like a mercenary
who's like,
who's the richest guy
who I can marry my daughter off to?
That was one of the scenes
where I was like, wait,
like, that was a weird parallel
between, what's the fake country
Eddie Murphy's from?
Zamunda.
Zamunda.
And I was like,
that wouldn't have happened in 1988.
Someone being like, hey, my daughter is going to marry this guy.
I don't know.
Like, in Queens in 1988?
That's happening in Queens right now.
Like, literally.
I mean, I think it came from a different place.
I think it did come from a place of, like,
I want my daughter to be taken care of.
Right.
Because he's, like like a single father.
They don't have her mom
around.
Because even though that
there was that, once James Earl Jones
was like, I'll pay you
to leave my daughter alone.
That's when he, no, but he was like, no.
He was like, you can't buy my daughter off.
Who the hell do you think you are?
He offers them a million dollars, two million dollars.
He's like, no, she's my daughter off. Like, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah, he offers him a million dollars, two million dollars. He's like, no, she's not for sale.
Yeah.
Which redeems him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I feel like he was just like, I do feel like it was more about like my daughter is
someone that's worth something.
Right.
More than like, I want to just peddle my daughter off.
Yeah.
I tried to contextualize it a little with like, you know, if you're.
Would Mike be okay like
how was like if i was like hey mike i'm dating a janitor uh he would be like david come on you know
like even if and i could be like no this this janitor is eddie murphy he's great and my dad
would be like i don't know you know like you know i guess my lawyer told me that i cannot date anyone
who doesn't have a master's right it's like well i was like that's tough i'm in l.a really that's
yeah half the people here haven't graduated high school what are you gonna talk about i've met more
successful high school dropouts here then it's like it's but then what do you talk about because
that's the thing there's nothing
i'm like but she was like she was like you were not she was like there's going you're gonna hit
a wall she was like you're gonna hit a wall look you don't need to talk you just make love
i'm like in the biz we call that a callback
love it caitlin you have the master's. You're like hot tail.
I got to get a master's.
I got to be more in debt.
That's what's going to make me like a valuable partner.
I definitely, yeah, I'm still paying Columbia for that master's ring.
Oh, man.
Solid $33,000 left.
Bring it home.
That's not that bad.
That's like.
I mean, I'm 36 this year. So I've been paying this off for almost 15 years.
I just got under $40,000 for my undergrad, and I've never felt better in my entire life.
My income is low enough right now where they're not making me pay back my loans.
I've lived that life.
That's amazing.
I just have to stay poor until I die, and then I'll never have to pay them back.
You win.
That is legitimately my plan.
Stole it.
I don't want to get rich enough that I can pay them back.
I want to stay poor enough that I don't have to pay them back.
They don't deserve it.
I think I can settle.
I think I'm at enough of a balance.
My therapist told me that today.
I think I'm at a low enough balance where if I hit him up and was like, listen, how about I just give you $4,000?
And we call it even.
And we call it even.
Will they do that?
They won't take it that low.
But like if it's $33,000, they might take $23,000.
Well, you're a series regular now on an HBO show.
You're like, you can put me on your alumni list.
Listen, I've been broke
a long
time.
My mom today was like,
remember when you used to sell bags on MySpace?
Yes. I used to
sell hand-painted tote bags on
MySpace. You paint them? Yes.
That's amazing. Thank you.
That's a great idea. It was very difficult.
Yeah, that sounds like it would take a long time.
Yeah, there it is.
Yeah.
I used to be a paint night instructor.
That was my hug.
You almost got me that job, too.
Yeah.
And I trained for it, and then I was like, this is, I've had every bad job, but this is too much.
What is paint night?
It's a thing where, like, usually middle-aged women go to, like, a bar. It's a thing where usually middle-aged women go to a bar.
It's disturbing.
It's like an event where you just paint a painting.
There's an instructor who teaches you.
It's usually a landscape or a tree or something.
Everyone paints the same thing.
You drink margaritas.
You drink white wine.
And then you just get drunk with your friends.
This sounds fabulous.
It's very like, hey, comrade.
That's why it's gross to you.
To me, I'm like, me and the gal painting.
Oh, my God.
This sounds amazing.
It's like where everyone with their former sorority, they're like, you'll be great if
we all made the same bad painting.
Can we talk about the, there's a montage where Akeem and Semi go to a bar and there's all
these very ludicrous women who they cycle through.
I mean, I wrote down.
They're very LA.
Some of them bothered me.
Others did not.
Like some of them seem more like satirical, like the girl who's talking about her career
and stuff.
I was like, I just want to do like my own videos.
I want to be my own star.
I want to write my own songs.
You know, because I mean, that's a Los Angeles conversation
that I had. That made me laugh. Yeah.
I thought that was really funny. And then there
were a few that were more... What were the ones? Did any
bother you? I was doing a
walk in my former life. I mean, none of them necessarily
bothered me, but they were all just such
ridiculous. I want to tear you to pieces.
That and your friend, too.
And your friend, too. Spit take.
And a great spit take
I wrote that down
great Arsenio spit take
he spends the entire movie just like mugging
he did, Arsenio's over
40 in this movie
he's like 43 in this movie
damn, well you know what the best
women in that scene are though right
oh
my name is Peaches and I'm
the best all the DJjs want to feel my breath
wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up movie should end right there you found her you found
that was my like voicemail message for a good four years oh that's amazing like if i wasn't
a series regular on the hbo hit Insecure I would put it back
sorry that's my screenwriting
degree today
I love them and I also there's another
pair of twins I don't know if those
DJs
what I love about it is that they
are speaking in unison and they say
something like this is the first time
Teresa and I have been out
since the doctor separated us.
But they both say Teresa.
Their names are both Teresa.
I have never caught that.
I have seen this film 922.75 times.
I have never caught that.
I think it's maybe the best joke in the entire movie.
No.
I didn't catch that the first time.
Oh, my God.
This is the first time Teresa and I have been out since The Doctor Separated Us.
No, this is the first time Teresa and I have been out since The Doctor Separated Us.
Yeah.
Because they have the beat in there.
Huh.
Yeah.
Oh, I loved it.
And they were sitting as if they were still conjoined twins.
Dude, like, just, like, a little to the left.
Dude, have you ever, like like gotten into the conjoined twins
wormhole like of googling stuff i started it and then i ended up purchasing books it took a while
i used to work at a bookstore and one day there was like a sale there was sale about um there's
these great vaudeville conjoined twins violet and daisy yeah well that's what the movie there's a
play yes yeah there's so much there's a play. Yes.
Yeah.
There's a musical.
A Netflix documentary.
They were in movies and all this stuff.
And you, like, I was like, there's got to be a chapter on their sex life.
There is.
They were horny as hell and they made it work.
I love them.
How?
How?
They, either by one twin choosing to be chill and being like, have a good night.
I'm going to turn my head to the side.
Or there was like a curtain arrangement.
Do you remember where they were joined?
They were joined like traditionally like at the hip.
My question was, can one twin feel if the other twin is coming?
Would you know if your twin is faking it?
Did they have two separate
vaginas they did have two separate vaginas yeah okay so and they were both married at one point
and they were also like for a while rich as fuck wow anyway back to the movie sorry sorry um no no
no worries so there's a line that lisa delivers whenever so there's a party where Daryl goes to Lisa's dad and is like, hey, I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me.
And Cleo's like, great.
And then they just decide her future for her, basically.
And it's like, she's like, I'm not a prize to be won.
Again, just like in aladdin with jasmine um but she goes out and she just starts talking to
akim and she's like i'm not going to be pressured into marriage not by my father
or daryl or anyone but then not long after that she gets married anyway at the end of the movie
to akim so i guess it's married after saying exactly but she tells him go fuck yourself
yeah yeah take your earrings i felt fine with how it ended yeah like because then he says to her
like we don't have to like live like this would you give this up and she's like i renounce my
throne nah right right i don't know there's like so many, sometimes I kind of get caught up in that, like, everyone thinks that movies should end like Sex and the City, the series, where it's like, I don't have a man, I'm fine. But it's like, you can still be a fine person and like empowered and happy.
And got what you want.
And, and like, yeah, and like be in love and stuff. And I feel like it's almost.
I like to believe that.
I mean, hopefully that's what can happen to me.
Maybe it's just because I'm so cynical and so educated.
That I resent everyone who has someone to be with.
And it's like, fuck you and your stupid wedding.
And your pink dress.
Not even a white dress.
Which I appreciated.
I liked that. Okay okay patrice wears a
two-piece pink outfit the first time she hooks up with arsenio in this movie with these unbelievable
earrings and i just like that i screenshotted it i was like let me figure this out i want patrice's
look here let me figure this out it seems seems achievable, but I don't know.
Well, you lived in Englewood.
I lived in Englewood.
You can definitely achieve that look.
Sloss and Swat meet?
I lived right by...
Baldwin Hills Mall?
Yes, yes.
Like right around the corner.
Yeah.
I went to that Walmart optometrist to get glasses and then I called back a year later.
I was like, hey, I came here last year.
Can I come back?
And they're like, this Walmart is closed.
I was like, tight.
Okay, see you never.
There's a, what I think is a trading places reference.
Yes.
Where a kid was like, yeah.
Randolph, I told you I'm not talking to you anymore.
Oh, I miss.
Okay, because I haven't seen Trading Places for a long time, but I have seen it.
And I was like, that rings a bell for some reason.
Yeah, he gives them a wad of cash.
He basically takes Semmy's spending money.
And he's like, you can't do any more damage with this.
I'm going to do it.
And he gives it to these two poor homeless white guys on the street.
And then it turns out that they're the characters from Trading Places.
Looking good, Valentine.
Feeling good, Winthrop. There's a scene
at the beginning where I
had to double check when this movie was made
because it almost sounded like James Earl
Jones was doing a weird Mufasa reference.
But then I was like, apparently he just plays
royalty a lot. Because he was just like,
he said something like, King of all I surveyed. And I was like, that's plays royalty a lot because he was just like he said something like king of all I surveyed
and I was like that's a Mufasa line
yeah yeah yeah
and I was like that sounds like Mufasa but it was
Mufasa sounds like that
yes well because yeah
they're interchangeable he does play a king a lot
he's regal as fuck
even Darth Vader
that and Conan the Barbarian
oh I didn't even think of that Even Darth Vader. That and Conan the Barbarian.
Oh.
I didn't even think of that.
He plays like a... He's a bad guy, but I think he's like a leader.
How could you cast James Earl Jones as like a pauper?
He sounds like fucking royalty.
That would maybe be fun.
A fun turn.
That could be his goodwill hunting.
This time, James Earl Jones sounds the same,
except he is poor.
Have him grow some
stuff out. Awesome. Instant.
Okay, this is my theory.
If James Earl Jones played
someone very poor, he would win an Oscar.
He has not won an Oscar.
Which is crazy. He's got
to have a goodwill hunting. He's got to have
a Dallas Buyers Club. He's overdue. these are all movies with all white men though this is i but i want
james i want that for james earl kill i know i want well it's like even like denzel not winning
for fences was like that's true i mean and what a fucking abysmal actual win for case Affleck, who I would kill using my legs if I had the opportunity.
Can't stand him.
That was so specific.
I would kill
using my legs. I have very strong
legs. I think you suffocate them.
I like to think I could do that too.
You just rap and then squeeze.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You shatter their ribcage.
What's that movie about?
Teeth. Teeth. That was like some... You shatter their ribcage. What's that movie about? Teeth.
Teeth.
Oh, the vagina.
Where you kill with your vagina.
That was my favorite movie in high school.
Have you heard about this?
It's a horror movie where a woman discovers she has teeth in her vagina.
And then she uses it for vigilante justice.
Yeah.
I like it.
She fucks perps.
They have condoms in South Africa that they were using that have like, I mean, quote unquote,
teeth inside the condom.
So it's like a woman's, it's like a femidom
that women put up their vaginas
to be
safer against rapists.
So that if someone comes to rape them,
the teeth grab onto their dick and so they can
move themselves out of them and be like,
peace, your dick's all fucked up.
Why isn't that everywhere? That's unbelievable.
What?
Yeah, that's like a thing.
Oh, it's like a little bear trap.
Wait, Aristotle held up a thing that said the sandlot?
What's that about?
What?
Stop.
You don't know about the sandlot?
I mean, I know that it's a movie, but I didn't know what it was.
You're killing me, Smalls.
You're killing me.
Yeah, I know that line.
I've seen it.
Wait, is Jim Joel Jones in it?
Yeah. Is he a king in it too?
Well, he's like a former
legendary baseball player.
Okay. But they don't, they're afraid
of him, they think, because they're like, he's like
a recluse. And then they finally go over there
to get the ball.
And it turns out that he's like
this legendary baseball player. I have chills thinking
about it. Literally, I have chills right now.
It's such a good thing.
He's still a higher echelon, but you just don't know it for a long time.
Right.
Got it.
I've never seen The Sandlot, although I thought I was about to watch it one time.
I went over.
I was in seventh grade.
I went over to my friend's house and he had friends over and he had a swimming pool.
And then we're like, hey, guys, we're going to watch The Sandlot.
Yeah.
So we go and sit down around this TV,
they hit play, and then a porn star.
And then I didn't even know what The Sandlot was,
so I was like, is this The Sandlot?
The Sandlot is what I'm now going to call my vagina as well.
Oh my God, I'm sadly, yeah.
I feel like everyone, okay, that's a very extreme example
of we're going in to watch a movie but actually something horrible
is going to happen. That's a very La La Land Moonlight
moment that you never
knew was going to happen.
That's a good
Bechdel test movie too though because there's a lot of
you feel like a girl.
Yeah, yeah. There's a lot
of good. We should do
a kids movie soon.
Yeah, we should.
My version of that story was when i was in high school uh my friend jenny invited a bunch of us over to watch ps i love you
on dvd from blockbuster this is like the waning days of blockbuster gerard butler right
i made eye contact with him one time because i was an extra on the set of bounty hunter whatever that movie
was he looked right at me i looked right at him did you kiss i became instantly pregnant oh my god
anyway go on where the baby came from p.s i love you um so i i went to watch p.s i love you
and our valedictorian showed up a weird guy as valedictorians tend to be,
but he showed up and he wasn't like technically invited.
And we're like,
why is Richie here?
This is weird.
And then the middle of PS,
I love you.
Richie pretends to fall asleep on me.
And I'm like,
okay,
Richie's asleep on me.
And then when I,
I sort of let him rest there and then he grabbed my left boob and then I was like, and then there was like two other people in the room and they didn't really see what was going on.
And then Richie like is like, I'm tired.
I got to go home.
And they boots out and we don't talk for the rest of high school.
Whoa.
He so he sexually assaulted you.
And then he fled the scene at the.
Yeah, I guess so. I get it. But it was it was like a the scene. Yeah, I guess so.
But it was like a honk.
It was a weird honk.
Which is described as a sexual assault.
It's a sexual assault.
But it was Richie, so I wasn't afraid.
I was just like, I hated that.
And then when he left, my friend Jenny, I don't know, came to and she was just like,
why did Richie leave so suddenly?
I was like, well, A, he was not invited.
B, he honked my boob and left.
Oh, man.
It's like, he may as well have honked.
It's sort of like the reverse of what happens
in the basketball scene of Coming to America,
where Patrice is like,
oh, you got a dick under this coat?
Let me touch it a little bit.
And then he stands up and he's like, yes!
And then he's like, I gotta go.
He's like, it's halftime.
He's like, this is my favorite part of the game.
Yeah.
But then he goes to the bathroom
and gets recognized.
Oh, that's a good part.
Oh my goodness.
This is the happiest day of my life.
Do you know that guy?
Someone I met in the bathroom.
Right, yeah, and that's such a great line.
Oh, I loved it.
I think I need you to watch it again
and just watch it
without expectation. You need you to watch it again and just watch it like without expectation
like you just have to watch it like it's just a long sketch show i mean i like the movie don't
get me wrong i just had some oh i just had some notes
i just had some notes i could see her face when she said it. Notes is literally a thing I only learned about like in L.A.
Yeah.
Like when I would receive notes for something in New York, it wasn't notes coming to me.
And it was like, like executives were getting notes on the project that I did a pilot for or something, whatever.
Right.
Out here, though, it's like everyone has notes for everything.
Yeah. Out here though, it's like everyone has notes for everything. I literally sent someone a video that I had made for Instagram because they had made a joke.
And I had a video that could be like that went along with the joke.
And they replied and said, oh, did you want notes on this?
And this was an Instagram video for 15 seconds.
Did you flip a table?
That's like, ugh.
I was like, why would I want, what?
What are you talking about?
And he was like, yeah, I mean.
Oh, Crystal is the guy, yeah.
People often send me Instagram videos to give them notes.
And I was like, who, why would that be a thing?
Love notes, love career advice I did not ask for. I had someone who was going to be a thing love notes love career advice i did not ask for i had someone who
was going to be a guest on my pilot come to the live dress rehearsal of it never speak to me
like never like said hi like i'm gonna do your pilot next week nice to meet you
but however sent notes on my show via somebody else.
I hate people assigning value to their opinions.
It's so gross.
Yeah.
I was like, why would I give any of a fuck?
Right.
But I feel like deep down, it does make me insecure about something I wasn't going to
be insecure about before.
Right.
So it ends up just hurting everyone.
I don't know.
Nobody needs your notes.
Yeah.
That being said,
I do give notes professionally on screenplays.
If you want to go to my website,
but you wait to be asked.
Sure.
And it's constructive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I literally had someone say for smart,
funny and black,
like you should have,
you shouldn't have comedians cause they're,
they're trying, they're having to think too much about being funny.
Kill me.
And I was like, what?
I gotta go.
Yeah, get rid of that person.
Grow up.
Get a library card.
Grow up.
I gotta get out of here.
Hey, steampunk check.
Oh, steampunk check.
No steampunks.
No steampunks.
No steampunks.
No, none of that.
In every episode we see if there's steampunk culture referenced.
It just makes me think of that Wild Wild every episode we see if there's steampunk culture referenced.
It just makes me think of that Wild Wild West movie.
That's exactly.
That is like peak steampunk, but also a great movie.
So that's hard.
A great movie?
That's a hard one.
I enjoy it.
I know all the words to the theme song.
Oh my God.
Wild Wild West.
That's almost all the words. That's the only lyric.
Do you know what that song comes from?
No.
From Cool Moe Dee had the song called Wild Wild West.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
It's a sample.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
In the 80s.
So the chorus is a sample?
And then the actual music.
That's a Stevie Wonder sample.
I knew that.
I knew that.
I'm looking back.
But the chorus.
But the Wild Wild West.
I didn't know. Learning every day. day wow that's what we come together for that's what community is for it's what togetherness is for that's true it's sherlock holmes steampunk the modern
interpretation of sherlock holmes like robert downey jr totally steampunk i'm just but i love oh you know what else probably back to the future part three
definitely doc doc that's true inventing um a refrigerator yeah he's in which is the biggest
trigger invented steam invention of steampunk shit steampunk i will say the one thing about
that's like steampunk adjacent that resonates with me is the harpoon gun.
Every time I invoke a weapon, that's my first choice.
I'm going to harpoon you.
So I do invoke the harpoon gun a lot.
That is vaguely steampunk.
I invoke the AK.
Shout out to my haters who realize this discrepancy.
They're coming for you.
Anyway, the last thing i wanted to say about
this movie is so eddie murphy his attitude toward women the fact that he wants someone who stimulates
his brain and he can have a conversation with that's uh encouraging that's good i like that
all of the other main characters who are men have as we discussed pretty poor attitudes toward women
and none of them really, like we said,
like Lisa's father sort of redeems himself by saying,
like, my daughter's not for sale.
But everyone else kind of, I want them to see them more,
to learn their lesson and for their character arc to happen
and for them to grow.
That doesn't really happen.
Arsenio gets to just be with Patrice,
which I do like that pairing.
But, yeah, I don't know.
They still have pretty poor
attitudes.
And I mean, this movie
terribly and crazily
fails the Bechdel test. Actually.
Aren't they always talking about
actually? Oh my god.
Two degree Caitlin coming through.
Actually. There, my God. Two degree Caitlin coming through. Actually.
There is the scene where Lisa and Patrice are in, I think, their home and they receive a package.
It's the diamond earrings that Akeem sends to Lisa.
They start off the conversation not talking about men or a specific man.
They're literally just talking about the earrings in the package technically passes the bacto test you must have a secret admirer yeah yeah no i don't
guess you do ain't nobody giving anybody earrings like that unless they giving up the punani you
know this movie like literally top to bottom i can just watch it and say all the words. That's great.
And that's one of the favorite lines.
The jinx?
Yeah.
Why do you know all the words to the jinx?
I can probably recite another side of the jinx if I wanted to.
Oh, that movie scares me.
They're doing like a TV show that's kind of like a spoof on that.
They're doing a jinx spoof?
Yeah.
About time.
That's what i say but that scene so that scene like i said it it digresses
into them talking about a secret admirer and men and sex with men and stuff like that i thought that
too the top of the scene technically passes there's also another one uh where toward the end
of the movie uh the king was like oh he just a kingem just came to America to sow his royal oats
he doesn't care about you
so Lisa's very upset and she like
runs out in the living room and the
queen goes are you alright honey or something
like that and she's just like I gotta go
but that's technically
a conversation between two women
about not a man specifically
an amazing coat
she's wearing a full
length shirlin that I would
die for. It's like suede
or something and then she immediately goes out
into the rain. Well, it's a shirlin. What does
that mean? It's a very New York
coat. Like it's a, it is
suede, but it's like, it's like a suede
that you expect that it can get wet.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. It's like
a coated suede, I guess.
And then the inside is like wool.
And it's literally the warmest jacket you've ever, ever worn in your life.
Yeah.
I saw that jacket and I was like, my mom definitely had the QVC version of that jacket.
She had the, you know, $35 version of that jacket.
It just doesn't look waterproof and she goes out
into the pouring rain and i was just like that poor jacket you gotta end it you get you gotta
have a rain scene yeah the rain scene was very it touched me i really i it i was surprised how
barely this movie passes the bechdel test formally for a movie that whose protagonist is has such a good attitude
about but there's so few conversations with just women yeah yeah it was literally like three women
characters it's just strange that like usually the movies that barely pass it don't have a great
attitude about about women like the the scene that I always default to is the scene from Labyrinth
where that scene barely passes
because of a similar exchange
that's like, you're home late.
Shut up! Between like
a stepmom and a daughter.
And that movie didn't have a great
attitude towards women, but this one
barely passes and does.
Also Jennifer Connelly, who is just
the most depressed
person I've ever...
She's such a drag.
She's such a drag.
Part of it.
It's next level.
There is like, there's opportunity for women to speak to each other more in this movie
because of the pretty strong relationship that's established between Lisa and Patrice.
When they are in a scene together, they're usually talking about Akeem or Daryl.
So it doesn't pass. But the thing is, neither of them get that much screen time. Yeah. Like I
really, part of why I don't like that those scenes with all of the barbershop go on for so long is
it takes time away from Lisa's screen time. Like she could be a much more developed character and
she's just like, she i mean if you added
it up she maybe has 20 minutes of screen time like we don't get to know her that well right
what we do she's just an object of affection pretty much what i do see of her i like but
she but the story's not about her it's not about her but we can it's about akim it's about yeah
but it's about him finding the right woman for him. So I feel like if we just knew her a little bit better and we could understand why she's the best match for him.
Well, that's why I like Atlanta.
Because I still have to watch it.
You know, Atlanta at first glance feels like, oh, it's just going to be about dudes and we're going to have to just like see Donna Glover.
But then, no, like there's entire episodes just about the woman who plays his child's mother
oh that's great and so it's just a but it's like they also had time sure yeah well they had time
in this movie it's two hours long they just gave so much of it to genius barbershop scenes that i
can recite i would not i wouldn't talk to bottom what is is that, velvet? It's beautiful.
I wouldn't take it
in the barbershop.
Who plays the Jewish guy?
Eddie Murphy.
Is it?
Yeah.
Really?
I wasn't sure.
Damn it.
I missed one.
I was like,
because I looked at the list.
I'm like, no,
I can figure it out.
The only one that's not
played by either of them
is the short guy
in the barbershop
who's like the voice of reason.
Who's the one who's always like,
you ain't never met no man look at the king. That's neither of them is the short guy in the barbershop who's like the voice of reason who's like man you ain't never met no mon loup de king that's neither of them but like the guy who cuts the hair and
you know cuba gooding jr is in the movie right so he gets he's the first person in the chair when
they when they first go in the barbershop cuba gooding jr is in the chair yeah oh my god i missed
that uh-huh damn it yeah and i'm just in the middle of the People vs. OJ right now.
I've seen the whole ESPN OJ documentary two times.
I couldn't watch the whole People vs. OJ.
Oh, my God.
It's very melodramatic.
I don't even understand why it's winning all these awards.
I don't get it.
I like it, but it's so melodramatic.
Who's the actress who plays Marcia?
Sarah. Oh, Sarah Paulson.
Yeah, she does really well.
Did you know that Marcia Clark has nudes?
I found them.
No.
Why were you looking for them?
Because it's referenced in The People vs. OJ.
It's not referenced in the documentary.
And then I recently watched the series and they reference like, Marcia, did you know
your nudes from when you're 25 got leaked?
And she's like, no.
And I'm like, those better fucking be real.
They are.
She looks great.
Cool.
Does anyone else have any, does anyone have any final thoughts about the movie?
Specifically, the portrayal of women in the movie?
I mean, I don't think the portrayal of women in the movie is as profound as it could have been.
But what I do appreciate is that at the very least, because this was also a time when that was coming through. We were
seeing Sally Field and Meryl Streep play
these roles in Silkwood
and Steel Magnolias
where it was very women-centric.
It was just now becoming
even a concept.
Oh, women see movies too?
But I
do appreciate that the lead
and the overall concept of this movie is about
looking at women beyond sexual objects.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then that's established pretty early that that is like what the protagonist is looking
for.
Like he's literally in a hot tub, like in a bathing pool with the three women.
And he's just like, right.
Oh, um, right.
Can't we talk about because with most like nichi with most like uh i guess comedy and rom-coms it starts with like the male character feels
the opposite and then must be persuaded throughout the movie to not only want to fuck but i like that
uh akim starts like okay i've fucked enough, you know.
Yeah.
Which, imagine a man saying that. I'm good.
I want to talk about Noam Chomsky.
Exactly.
Like, that's where he's at.
Where is he?
Where is he?
I want that person.
Where's he at?
We'll find.
Not in LA.
We'll find our sweet prince.
He's in, like, San Diego.
He's at Chuck E. Cheese.
Mark Lee.
He's at Chuck E. Cheese tonight.
Yeah, you gotta go to Chuck E. Cheese tonight.
What if I literally started dating the bartender at Chuck E. Cheese
oh my god perfect match
come on
definitely
first the janitor now this
yeah I've already
lived down enough times with the professions
of people that I've led inside me
so yeah maybe not
but if he's amazing
hey if he gives amazing, hey.
Hey.
If he gives me a free blue moon, for sure.
For sure.
My selling price is like $7.
Okay, let's change the subject.
Hey, let's rate the movie.
Okay.
Ooh.
So we rate the movie on a scale of zero to five nipples.
The nipple scale.
The famous Bechdel cast nipple scale.
Bam, ba-ba-bam scale and we rate it specifically on its
portrayal of the women in the movie specifically on its portrayal of women in the movie I'm gonna
give it a three and a half I actually I'm gonna give it a four okay because the four main like
representations of women in the movie are Lisa Patricerice, Prince Hakeem's mom, and then the woman at the beginning.
And three out of four of those are very like in charge of their lives, are very vocal, you know, and don't feel like suppressed to say no to things that are not in their individual purview.
And I appreciate that agree and they
don't have like consequences for being that either you know what i mean they're not punished
for it right yeah which is another rare empowered woman thing we didn't talk about the queen that
much i wish we had talked about but she yeah um she doesn't get much screen time either. But when she is on screen, she's basically being like, hey, husband of mine, quit being a fucking stupid idiot about this.
Basically.
He's a cuck, but he doesn't want to project that image.
But we know, she knows, her son knows.
I mean, he's wearing a giant lion face.
Right. He's got something to prove.
Is it Mufasa? Maybe.
Lots of Mufasa
foreshadowing in this movie.
So much Mufasa foreshadowing.
That got very meta.
I'm going to give it
three and a half nipples
because, Caitlin, you do make
a good point that I liked
all the female
characters.
The woman at the beginning he's supposed to marry i felt for her even if she was she was conditioned
to be that way we're all conditioned by the patriarchy she didn't have the opportunity
to develop her own personality so i don't hold it too much against her right uh but the screen
time thing that you pointed out, that is a good point.
And the fact that it barely passes the Bechdel test in spite of its good attitude towards women.
So three and a half.
I'm going to give two of those nipples to Patrice because she is my favorite character.
I'm going to give half a nipple to the lady I feel bad for.
I'm going to give one nipple to the queen.
Nice. I'm going to give it three nipples because I like that, at least the main character's attitude toward women is, yes, I want someone to stimulate me intellectually in addition to making love.
Making love.
They only do that in the Pacific Northwest.
Right. like I said the other men in the movie do not have nearly as progressive attitudes toward women and they I feel like
don't suffer the consequences of those bad
thoughts and ideas and
well some of them do
I mean Daryl gets broken up with
and then he's like in the rain and it ruins his jerry curl
right that was
that's a big deal
that was more poignant than I was expecting it to be
this was like, aw.
But can we say that like the guys in the barbershop, they were never disrespectful to women.
That's true.
And they were also like, well, you need to go to the Black Awareness Rally.
Like there's really, you know, women there that are about more than just like going to the club.
And then he's just like, that's why I'm going.
Although the women there are mostly, again, in a beauty pageant, just being very objectified.
Lisa and Patrice are there, though.
Fair enough.
I think my main thing is that I just wish we had gotten to know Lisa a bit more.
I agree.
I agree.
And I selfishly wanted more screen time for Patrice because I want to absorb her lessons.
Let's see a Patrice and Lisa spinoff.
Patrice 2.
Return to America.
Return to America.
Or coming to Zamunda.
That's what I was going to say.
I would love to see Patrice and Zamunda.
Like, what is that?
Don't make me write this movie.
Great movie.
I'll send it to you for notes.
We've got to.
Yes.
I'm just going to start sending people files and see if they assume that they should get their thoughts on it.
Amanda, thanks so much again for coming.
Thanks for having me.
Where can people find you online?
Anywhere at Amanda Seals.
So Twitter, YouTube, the gram, all at Amanda Seals. So Twitter, YouTube, the gram, all at Amanda Seals.
And then Facebook, some broad named Amanda Seals won't give it up.
So I'm Facebook Amanda Seals TV.
Okay.
That's a cool one too.
I have no consistency.
My Facebook is facebook.com slash dog stealer, which I chose my senior year of high school.
This would be funny and confusing for the rest of the time Facebook is relevant. dot com slash dogstealer, which I chose my senior year of high school.
This would be funny and confusing for the rest of the time Facebook is relevant.
And here we are.
Nothing else with dogstealer.
It's like a branding thing.
It's like I'm not branding very well.
It's always a different stupid
two-word phrase.
Pie fucker.
If you want to follow the Bechtelcast,
which you should,
on Twitter.
We're at Bechtelcast on Twitter.
You can listen to us on iTunes.
You can also write and review
us there. We really appreciate it when you do that.
Can I also invite people to
come to Smart, Funny, and Black every
first Tuesday? You sure can.
Please do. You just did.
Yeah, if you live in Los Angeles.
At the Nerd Melt showroom.
You don't have to be Smart, Funny, or Black to attend.
You just have to want to watch.
That's most people in Los Angeles.
Touché.
You just have to appreciate good comedy and black culture because that's what we do.
Yay.
Awesome.
Thanks again.
Thanks for having me.
Oh,
of course.
Anytime I get to sit around and talk with two smart,
funny gals about coming to America at that,
it's the best way to spend my day.
If you haven't seen the movie,
watch the movie for crying out loud.
I'm on Twitter at hamburger phone.
Where are you?
I'm at Caitlin Durante. Okay. Don't add add me on facebook but it's dog stealer okay bye
daphne caruana galicia was a maltese investigative journalist who on october 16th 2017 was
assassinated crooks everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of
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