The Bechdel Cast - Hannah Montana: The Movie with Robert Evans and Sophie Lichterman
Episode Date: July 13, 2023On this episode recorded live in Portland at Curious Comedy Theater, secret pop stars Jamie and Caitlin chat with special guests Robert Evans and Sophie Lichterman about Hannah Montana: The Movie. H...ere is the link to purchase "on-demand" tickets for the live stream of this show -- https://www.showclix.com/event/bechdel-test-with-robert-evans-on-demand Here's the Teen Vogue article we mention, "Miley Cyrus Faces Rightful Backlash in Light of Past Cultural Appropriation" by Michael Arceneaux -- https://www.teenvogue.com/story/miley-cyrus-rightful-backlash-past-cultural-appropriationHere's the episode of Teen Vogue's Pop Feminist, "How the Music Industry Profits Off People of Color" hosted by Sandra Song -- https://www.teenvogue.com/video/watch/how-the-music-industry-profits-off-people-of-colorThe YouTube video from As Told By Kenya that we reference is currently unavailable, but here is Kenya's channel -- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfdQZXHsR1L2g4jDrMmVMTw (This episode contains spoilers) For Bechdel bonuses, sign up for our Patreon at patreon.com/bechdelcast Follow @IWriteOK and @why_sophie_why on Twitter. While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante, and @jamieloftusHELPSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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On the Bechtelcast,
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just boyfriends and husbands
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Hello listeners, it's us.
Ever heard of us?
This is a wild episode to introduce, not only because I think it's one of our most, if not our most, chaotic live episode to date.
But it also took place five full months ago.
So you're kind of being introduced to past versions of ourselves.
Who knows?
So much has happened.
So much has taken place since this historic episode was recorded.
But we were waiting for the summer to release it because it just feels like a summary episode, even though we recorded it in February.
You clicked on it.
You know what it is.
We covered the Hannah Montana movie with Robert Evans in front of a live studio audience.
And I threw a knife into the audience by accident.
Yes, which we don't really acknowledge at least verbally as it happened on stage but
here's the thing we live streamed that show and you can still buy like on-demand tickets for it
so if you want to see the moment where jamie i think you're just sort of like jokingly like waving around this it was like it was a knife
in its case but it also had smaller knives inside literally I was like of course of course Robert had
four or five knives in a single sheath question mark I assumed it was just the one like machete but no there were also the machete also had sons and i didn't know
all knife stories are about fathers and we've been talking about this for years yeah yeah um
yeah so i did throw a knife into the audience i will say quick update i don't even think i've
told you this caitlin that the uh the person who i almost hit with a knife it fell at their feet
it wasn't like a you know missed their head or anything like that but again this is it's such a
weird plug for for buying the live stream to be like watch i almost really hurt somebody but you
can see it in the live stream either way they came to a book promo show I did at the same venue,
Curious Comedy Theater, in Portland several months later,
and we had a good laugh about Knifegate.
So it's all good.
I just wanted to say that at the top.
And also, this episode was so fun for a lot of
reasons but mainly because i think it's fun because our show has been on for so long now
that we've like teased the fact that we would someday do this episode for probably
four three or four years many years yes many moons um a lot of sunrises a lot of sunsets since we've been threatening to do this episode
and we did and it is uh it was everything i dreamed and a knife attack yes it was
such a treat to do we had so much fun and there was a knife but everyone survived and also another reason to to check out the live
stream if you want to do that either instead of or in addition to listening to the audio only
episode boring um but look we're wearing wigs okay oh i forgot we were where we are wearing wigs our wigs keep falling off and that's
visual comedy that is robert evans also wears a wig you'll see all of the knives that he brought
to the stage and doled out to sophie is there our beloved sophie came on stage. It was, and you can also see an argument between
another person who came to
the Raw Dog Show as well.
At some point, I accidentally encouraged
Robert and an audience member
to get into a fight about chickens
or farms. I don't know.
Eggs. It's specifically the
number of eggs that get produced.
We cut it out of the episode because it just
didn't translate very well to the audio medium uh but but yeah you can watch it it's extremely stressful
to there's also a horny looking corn dog apparently or hot i don't know there's there's a
very phallic hot dog oh yeah that thing was huge it was massive god this show really it's really taking me back
to a simpler time but it was an altogether menacing night and i loved every second of it
delightful so take a trip down memory lane with us and let's check out the hannah montana movie
with of course robert evans you know him you love him
from behind the bastards from it could happen here from all cool zone media endeavors um and
you know it's if you're listening to this show you know who robert is we love robert to death
and we have been uh waiting to i mean and as you know it's a rare privilege for men to be on the show.
It's true.
So he paid us for that.
No, I'm kidding.
He didn't.
We did pay him.
Anyways.
And we wanted to plug again.
This actually, for those trying to do Bechdelcast continuity, this was recorded the same night of our show with Sarah Marshall at Curious Comedy with our Goonies episode.
And we were so lucky to partner with Curious Comedy again.
So we just wanted to shout out everyone there.
And yeehaw, bitch.
Enjoy the episode.
Enjoy.
Welcome, everybody, to Curious Comedy Theater.
Make some noise for the Bechtel cast.
Please keep it going for Jamie and Caitlin.
Caitlin!
Wow, welcome.
We've changed.
The show has pivoted hard.
Oh, okay. Hi.
Oh, you're just going to be yourself. Okay.
I guess we hadn't pre-planned a bit.
Sorry, my hat's gonna
be slipping and sliding off this very real hair we we should come up with alter ego names for us
yes such as kate lana montana i no notes i think it's great thank. I would like to be Bambi Massachusetts. Oh.
Yes.
She's nothing like Hannah Montana,
and that's what makes her special.
She can't sing for shit.
Wait, what is Keanu Reeves' character in Point Break?
His last name?
Johnny Utah.
Okay, I'm Johnny Utah.
Yes, yes.
You're Johnny Utah's long lost sister.
Yeah, Johnny Utah.
Ooh,
that's genuinely a great,
that's like a good roller derby name too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's really powerful.
Bambi Massachusetts,
really not much to say about her.
She's mostly just,
you know,
a terrible singer and basically incompetent.
That's,
that's my alter ego that I like to slip in and out of.
Love it.
Yeah.
Welcome to the Bechtel cast.
Thank you for coming.
We're so excited you're here.
We haven't been to...
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
I know.
These are shedding.
I think this is just going to keep happening.
We actually got a really expensive, nice wig for this show,
and you can tell
by the fact that it it isn't working it's falling apart yeah i'm just gonna hide it really nice wow
okay so this is we're just gonna be balding the whole time that's totally fine yeah um but no we're
so excited to be back in portland we haven't been here uh for years. Is anyone here the last time we did a show here?
Wow.
Welcome back. Welcome back.
Okay.
Is anyone here just because they're like a Hannah Montana fan?
Is anyone here just to like to tell me the seven things you hate about me?
Yeah.
Okay.
We should tell them what the show is.
Yes.
Yes.
This is the Vectel cast.
My name is Caitlin Durante.
AKA Joni Utah.
Sorry, my name's Joni Utah.
Nailed it.
My name's Jamie Loftus, AKA Bambi, Massachusetts.
And no, we're thrilled to be back
and we're thrilled to be talking about
kind of one of the greatest cinematic achievements
of our era, I think.
Normally, this is our podcast where we take an intersectional feminist look
at your favorite movies.
Tonight, I'm really not sure what it's going to be.
If you're expecting, like, really thorough, thoughtful discourse...
You've come to the right place.
Yes, that's what will happen here tonight. really thorough, thoughtful discourse. You've come to the right place. Yes.
That's what will happen here tonight.
When people are talking about, like, put your thinking caps on,
I'm thinking this is that.
Yeah.
It's so intellectual what you're about to see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, in fact, one of us might even have a master's degree.
But I would never mention that. might even have a master's degree. But, but...
I would never mention that.
Joni, you would never.
I would never.
So yeah, this is our show, The Bechdel Cast,
where we analyze movies through an intersectional feminist lens
using the Bechdel test as a jumping off point.
But Bambi, Massachusetts, what is that?
Well, it was a media metric invented by a huge fan of Bambi, Massachusetts,
queer cartoonist Alison Bechdel.
A lot of versions of the test.
Our version of the test requires that two Hannah Montanas with names
talk to each other about something other than an identity crisis.
And most movies do not pass this test.
Pretty rare.
In fact,
maybe only one movie
does.
Yes.
And it's not this one.
It's Fight Club.
It actually kind of works.
Is Hannah Montana
the same movie
as Fight Club?
I truly...
Oh, I've got this
in my notes, baby.
I just didn't like... It's a beautiful...
It's a gift from...
Hannah Montana and young people with identity crises,
I mean, she was there for us.
And her wig was not good.
It was thrilling.
Okay, so I mean...
But we have a very special guest with us tonight.
Also, hello to the live stream.
Yes, hello.
I guess that's all I have to say.
In the last one, I forgot that I once again insulted the city of San Francisco.
And then I was like, oh, wait, anyone can see this.
They're watching.
Yeah, I will not be allowed within the city limits again.
And that's fucking fine.
But we have an amazing guest who is a huge Hannah Montana fan.
Yes.
And honestly,
and I don't mean to embarrass him,
but he's been,
at least once a week,
it's like 30 texts in a row
of when can I talk about this subject
I'm so passionate about.
People assume I'm one kind of person,
but really I'm a number one Hannah stan and I want to talk about it.
I'm like, oh my god, enough.
That's his alter ego.
Everyone thinks of our guest as, oh, a journalist.
Oh, I host Behind the Bastards.
Oh, I have a knife.
You know?
And it's like,
okay, but what's
just beneath the surface?
But secretly, it's Hannah Montana number one fan. He's a number one fan of Montana, so let's just beneath the surface? But secretly, it's Hannah Montana, number one fan.
He's a number one fan of Montana, so let's get him out here.
He's Boston's number one prop comic.
Please give it up for Robert Evans!
Robert!
We prefer to be called Hannah Montfanas.
So, first off, check your terms. Okay, I'm so sorry.
Holy shit.
Well, I feel very safe, I think, right now.
Would you like some weapons?
Yeah.
We are in the
state of Oregon, which in its very
enlightened nature allows the open carry
of any kind of knife, so I brought a couple.
Oh.
Sensing some clenching buttholes in the
crowd.
In honor of your corn dog,
I brought you this. That's called a rungu.
It's a war club.
So in honor...
I just wanted to shout out... Where's the audience member that gave me the corn dog? Hello. That's called a Rungu. It's a war club. So in odd, and I just wanted to say,
I wanted to shout out,
where's the audience member
that gave me the corn dog?
Hello.
What's your name?
Max.
Thank you, Max,
because this corn dog
is pornographic
that you gave me.
Absolutely fucking sick.
I will be contacting
the authorities
that I don't believe in
or trust,
but this is like,
I mean, look at this.
They really do look exactly alike.
When they say all movies are about fathers and sons,
this is what they're talking about.
Well, I mean, okay, yeah.
What is this called?
It's called a rungu.
It's a war club.
So it's a whack? Yeah, it's for hitting stuff. It's a whacker, all right. Now is this called? It's called a rungu. It's a war club. So it's a whack?
Yeah, it's for hitting stuff.
It's a whacker.
All right.
Now, this is extremely dangerous, Caitlin.
It can't be closed.
We'll just set that down here.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
I received that in the mail,
in an anonymous box of knives,
from a fan who said his grandfather
had sort of lost his mind later in life
and just kept ordering knives
from the Bud K catalog.
And they couldn't figure out
what to do with them,
so they sent them to me.
Does it open like this?
It does.
It's very dangerous.
There's no way to safely carry or transport it.
And yet you did that in your bag.
This is maybe a ridiculous question, but
what is the desired
effect for when you...
Because there's also like a...
I'm afraid it's going to spring out.
It's not spring loaded.
It's far too heavy for that. There's a gorgeous angel
with huge naturals on this
as well, which you can't see because we're
afraid to pick it up.
Fear is a natural reaction
to that knife.
If I was using it, what would happen to someone?
Well, you would hurt
yourself first, I suspect.
I did use it to trim brush at one
point, but it didn't end well for me.
Okay.
I believe you have two more weapons with you, is that correct?
I just got one here
for someone else.
Actually, I feel like we should get another woman on stage.
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
Honestly, that would make me feel better.
I feel safe that way.
Can we bring out our producer, Sophie Lichterman?
I would feel much better.
I would feel way, way better.
There's a mic right there.
All right.
It's actually Sophie Califofi oh you're like to be
properly introduced next time thank you so much what is this weapon you've got
it's very heavy it's a kukri notice how he's afraid when I do this and what
would that do?
Would it give you a little scrape?
Yeah
Okay
I mean, can we open her up, please?
Sure
Oh, okay
Oh my god
There you go
Now, Sophie, you want to keep a drink in one hand
And just kind of wave that
It feels real good
I've never felt happier
I'm also afraid to move my arm
No, it's barely
It's blunt.
That's the safest kind of knife.
It makes really...
Wow.
You want to swap for a sec?
Yeah.
I think I got the safest one
because I can't be trusted.
Yeah, you say that.
Yeah.
This is...
It's hefty.
Yeah.
It's hefty.
All right.
I don't think you should have that.
I feel pretty good about this.
I trust you with it.
I do.
Oh, okay.
It's just kind of a slick surface.
It's kind of a water slide situation up there.
I do think this is the first time in Bexelcast history
that we have invited a male guest on
and he immediately approached us by explaining things to us.
And introducing active violence into the situation.
In my defense, you made me watch the Hannah Montana movie.
I mean, fair.
Okay, which you, in keeping with the lore, love.
Thank you.
I guess I really shouldn't be holding that.
Oh, my God.
Sophie, do you want to hang for a bit? Just get it in there.
Just jam it.
There we go.
Would you like to hang? I'll hang Just get it in there. Just jam it. There we go. Would you like to hang?
I'll hang.
All right.
Hi, Sarah Marshall.
Give it up for Sarah Marshall.
She was our guest on our first show tonight.
Give it up if you were at the first show tonight.
Yes.
So exciting.
I got Minions walkie-talkies as a gift after the show, and I was so fucking thrilled.
I was gonna go to different rooms in my house
and be like, below, over.
Poop-pie, over.
I'm really loving the blonde theme here.
Yeah, we were gonna bring you a wig,
but you have the natural Hannah.
Yeah, it's incredible.
So I guess now that we're all here,
now that this brain trust
has finally come together,
we should do what everyone wants us to do,
which is talk about Hannah Montana under duress.
Yeah.
So, Caitlin, what is your history
with Hannah Montana,
the person, the property,
the idea, the movie?
Well, you'll never believe this,
but I had never seen any of it
until maybe three or four days ago.
Oh, hey.
I knew about, thank you so much.
I knew about Hannah Montana.
I knew that that's how Miley Cyrus got her start.
But I didn't watch any of it.
The end.
But now you?
I have watched it. I of it. The end. But now you... I have watched it.
I love it.
And then we watched
several episodes of the show today.
Again, under duress.
Under duress.
Most notably, Larry David
makes a cameo as himself
in the show.
I was really taken aback by that.
A season two gem.
He shows up in a Curb Your Enthusiasm style thing.
He can't get into a restaurant.
He's got a baby Cassie David with him.
Who knows why this is happening,
but we're thrilled and we're cheering,
and sometimes we're crying.
It's an exciting moment.
So yeah, that's my history.
What about you, Jamie?
I love Hannah Montana.
I actually, I think I was objectively too old
for Hannah Montana when it came out.
And I was, I mean, with all that like Disney Channel stuff
of that era, I was very,
I was very like bright eyes, 13 year olds.
I was like, um, Hannah who?
And then secretly I was feral for Hannah Montana.
But I had an amazing friend in junior high and high school
and still now, her name's Lois.
And she was a really important friend to have
where when we were not supposed to like things anymore,
Lois was just like, no, I like the Jonas Brothers
and we're going to their concert today, asshole.
And then we would go.
And then so I think I got like this kind of
cool, like backdoor experience to that era of pop stars with weird hair. And I loved it. I had so
much fun. I went to a Hannah Montana concert in junior high. And you did not. Yeah, yeah, I did.
And she performed is great. She there's like a certain point in the show show where she'll like reveal herself to be who we already know her to be.
But we're all just playing along for no reason.
And then the Jonas Brothers come out and they have a trampoline.
And you're like, this is all great.
I'm loving this.
So I like watched the like first season of the show.
And then I really and truly was too old to do it.
And then I came back for the movie.
Sure. Part of me is like,
should I use one of these knives to cut this tag off?
No.
It's very safe.
I'm not touching
that one.
I think that we came up with the idea for this episode
five years ago when we were recording
and you didn't know who Ariana Grande was.
He most certainly did not.
Yes, yeah.
So that, I think, is where this came from.
But now, Robert, what's your experience with Hannah Montana?
I know it's been a journey.
Well, up until about five days ago,
I was pretty sure she was Taylor Swift.
And I'm going to be honest,
the fact that Taylor Swift is in the movie
did not entirely disabuse me of that notion.
I quit.
I miss Hannah.
So I graduated high school, I think,
a few years before you did,
and a few years before Hannah Montana
really became a thing, I think.
And so it was just kind of one of those
when I dropped out of pop culture briefly
to do a lot of drugs.
And then I came back, and she was very, very famous.
And I was like, oh, this is something I missed.
And to think you could have been watching Hannah Montana on drugs all those years.
I can't say for certain that I didn't, but it does seem unlikely.
But now you've seen the movie, and what's your general impression?
I think it was probably the best Hannah Montana movie that you were likely to get.
Very, very judicious of you.
With one exception
but we'll get to that i i yeah i see where this is going sophie what's your history with
hannah montana uh definitely watched it when i was a kid definitely thought too many times about
bangs oh no i'm just waiting no i'm listening i just going to make really good eye contact while I tell this.
Thought about bangs.
You know, all the little guest star pieces are great.
I like that Elvis, a.k.a. Austin Butler, does not sound...
Oh.
Not the first time this has happened between us.
They're really good corn dogs, by the way, whoever got them.
Yeah.
And then, you know, followed Miley through her, what did we say her I'm No Longer a Disney
Baby song was?
Oh, Can't Be Tamed, when she's like in a cage also as a bird.
I mean, and she's like,
we're going to talk about this in pickups later on, but she's also done some serious
cultural appropriation over the years.
Her crimes are many.
She should definitely apologize
to Michael Jordan for that one song.
Thank you to the one person who
got that reference. Okay. And then just all the times you've forced me
to watch like today for three hours yeah okay there was a bit of a hostage crisis today when
i made people watch hannah montana for three hours and every time they were not responding
well i'd be like you just don't understand we was I wasn't kind of I felt myself doing what
my therapist tells me not to do which is get defensive over things that aren't important
but I was like no you just need to see how in the show like in the movie Hannah Montana reveals her
identity in one way in the show Jay Leno finds out about her identity and it's a catastrophe.
It's a whole thing.
But we're here to talk about the Hannah Montana movie.
That's right.
So should we recap it?
We certainly should.
It's Caitlin's famous recap, folks.
Oh my gosh.
It's like untenable.
I'm like, I'm almost done with my glass of wine.
I'm going to need another one soon.
I know, it's scary up here.
Okay.
So, yeah.
The people love her.
So I just want to provide a little bit of context
before I do the recap for the movie,
but Jamie, I think I need your help.
So I think what you need to already know
about Hannah Montana as a character,
as an intellectual property,
is that Miley, Miley Stewart...
Yes, Miley Stewart and her father, Robbie Ray Stewart.
Unacceptable.
She is just a regular girl,
but her alter ego, Hannah Montana, is super famous,
and no one knows Hannah's true identity.
No one knows that Miley is Hannah.
Except for her trusted circle.
Her circle, exactly.
Dolly Parton knows.
Dolly Parton knows.
In the movie, we realized that her grandmother Margo Martindale knows Margo Martindale is well aware and she knows the hoedown throwdown
we find out she knows it by heart she knows a lot of things that Margo Martindale heart um
okay so uh all she does is put on a blonde wig right to become oh and all we do is talk into
a micro no that's that is what we do um yeah and the reason she does this she like is leaving the
living the secret life is she wants to have a normal teen life as someone constantly suffering
an identity crisis yes, so that's what
you need to know going in.
So the movie opens with Miley Stewart
that of course is Miley Cyrus.
She's struggling to get
into her own Hannah Montana
concert in
Los Angeles. Ever heard of it?
That's not
going to work here.
People aren't thrilled.
Shout out to anyone from LA who's watching the live stream
woo
still not playing
it's not playing in there
somebody in bed watching this is like
yeah
they're talking about me
I think that's where our shows are best seen
from someone who's like watching on their phone
like facing their head,
also eating a corn dog.
Yeah, that looks just like this.
Okay, so Miley and her best friend, Lily,
played by Emily Osment,
they finally get into the show,
and Miley performs as her alter ego, Hannah Montana.
Her dad, Robbie Ray,
played by Billy Ray Cyrus.
Are you okay?
Yes.
Anything to say?
I'm so angry.
You should be excited.
He has kind of the same name as you.
Robbie Ray Evans.
I come here to you, Jamie,
on a Thursday night
when I could be doing ketamine.
And this is how you repay me.
Robbie Ray Evans, everybody.
Wow.
One of the greats.
Beautiful.
So he's Hannah Montana's manager.
Is that right?
Yeah.
His whole thing is he puts on a fake mustache.
In the show, he's like, I'm Hannah Montana's manager.
Then he puts on a Jacques
Clouseau mustache.
And everyone's like, yeah.
He has a soul patch that
has to register with
everyone in his neighborhood to let them know that
he can't be within 500 feet of a school.
Like, that...
I have
a question. The soul patch is... I don't know if it's more canonical to the character or the man. I have a question. The soul patch is,
I don't know if it's more canonical
to the character or the man.
I don't know.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
Vanessa Williams is also there
playing a character named Vita,
which is Hannah Montana's publicist.
Yes.
Right?
And then there's also this guy named Oswald,
which is this like sleazy tabloid guy
who's trying to get this juicy expose style scoop
on Hannah Montana.
That's one of the things I like about the movie
is for some reason it has like a very correctly low opinion
of the British tabloids specifically.
And I was like, yeah, I guess that that tracks.
I wonder like why they're being singled out i mean
they're horrible but yes who knows they've got it in for for our hannah yes indeed um so everything
is going great in hannah montana and miley's life until miley lets a few Hannah related things get in the way such as
a shoe related
brawl with
Tyra Banks
okay
how much do you think
would they pay Tyra
to be in that movie
she also had to learn
the hoedown
throwdown
for the record
she does it in
she does it in the credits
for like 10 seconds
and then bails
which I respect
sure
because this is what this is what 2009 so there's that's like peak america what it would that that's peak tyra
tv time yeah oh i mean tyra's a huge cameo no matter when but like all nine yeah on i'm like
that's a big bag she throws miley cyrus over a couch well, she must have done it for free.
They get into a pretty intense...
And a lot of exchanges in that fight do
pass the Bechdel test.
And we applaud that.
It is a flawed match.
So,
they're fighting
over shoes because
women be shopping for shoes.
Yes.
And also, Miley screws up her best friend Lily's birthday party
because she shows up as Hannah Montana,
and so all of the thunder is taken away from Lily.
So Miley's dad, Robbie Ray,
is like, you need to simmer down.
And he takes... And already you're acting
better than Billy Ray Salish.
I've never heard
a person more actively reading the whole
time.
Which is honestly impressive
because I wouldn't have guessed that he could, just
knowing what I know about Billy Ray.
So
he takes her to her hometown
of Crowley Corners, Tennessee
to get away from it all
and to visit her grandmother,
Margo Martindale,
for her birthday.
Character actor, Margo Martindale,
for her birthday.
Because Miley needs to learn
to appreciate what matters
because her Hannah persona
is just becoming too much.
This is something that always, I mean, Robbie Ray Stewart,
the famous character.
He's always like mad at his daughter for having a dual identity
as if he weren't integral in creating it in the first place.
He's like, you're losing touch with yourself, you 14-year-old
fucking loser.
Dude, you had to have signed off
on this at some point.
And I'm pretty sure she bought your house.
Why can't you
handle this duality that I'm forcing
you into as a child?
With your undeveloped brain.
Right.
Okay, so Miley goes back to her hometown in Tennessee.
Her grandmother tells Miley about how developers
are trying to swoop into town to build a huge mall,
like do all this like urban sprawl stuff.
So the town, I was gonna, okay, thank you for saying that
because I noticed that both of the shows
that we did live tonight in Portland,
The Goonies and Hannah Montana, the movie, have basically the same premise,
which is young person needs to do something drastic to save their town that's in danger of being ruined by rich people.
And it would be cool if either Data from The Goonies became a pop star,
or Miley Cyrus had to go on
to a pirate ship in hell.
Either of these
movies I would be perfectly happy with.
Yes. So the town of Crowley
Corners is raising funds so
that they can pay the taxes on the land
to keep the developers out.
Meanwhile,
a couple romances are
brewing. And they all fucking suck
uh one is between robbie ray and a local woman laura lie yeah jan levinson golds
oh so weird i don't approve i know it's like it really bothered me. I mean, I love her, but also it's just like,
now we're sticking Melora Harding with Robbie Ray.
It doesn't seem fair.
And Robbie Ray is not nice to her.
He's always like, I'm busy being a parent.
And she's like, oh my God, I just said hello.
Why did he even get a love interest?
Like, bro, it's not about you.
It's so fucking weird.
If you think that's weird,
what do you hear about his real current love interest?
Oh, wow.
I know.
Robert's made a separate presentation.
Robert was like, oh yeah, I'll do your show.
I got five pages of Billy Ray Cyrus.
At some point, it became very clear
that this was going to be a behind the bastards
about Billy Ray Cyrus.
But I welcome acceptance.
He printed out notes on the laser jet.
I mean, it's just a lot.
That's so menacing, Robert.
That's so menacing.
Whoa, my blood pressure just rose.
I can't wait.
What is handwritten on there?
Can I read it?
Please do.
It says, she is the fruit of a poisoned seed.
Now, that was about a horse and a half worth of ketamine
into my night of research.
Do you want to know what else is on the back there?
Yeah, there's an address.
Yeah, that's Billy Ray's home address.
No, stop!
What's wrong with you?
It was a long night.
The group text really was becoming concerning at some point.
So Robbie Ray's dating Jan Levinson Gould,
and it fucking sucks.
Yes, it sucks.
What also sucks is Miley and the boy
that she used to know from school, Travis,
they...
Yeah.
Can we just get a big boo for Travis?
We hate fucking Travis.
Oh, my God.
Why did he get to go to the movie?
Hmm?
He seemed like TV series specific.
Why did he get to bump up to the movie he i know he i don't even
think he was on the show i'm pretty sure most of the movie is like not even canonical to the show
shouldn't have been uh what jake ryan jake ryan yeah there is a guy named jake ryan got woos
travis got boos i'm upset there is i mean they're miley sir like miley stewart i'm so sorry oh
miley stewart had so many boyfriends in that show,
and they were all played by a different guy named Cody
with the same haircut.
And then he's always like, Miley, I have a big crush on you.
And she's like, me?
And I was like, yeah, let's watch this for five days.
Okay, so Miley and Travis start building a chicken coop together
and that's kind of the basis of their
relationship point is
she's getting back to her country roots
she then goes to
a fundraiser slash
open mic night
you know those things and
Miley performs
the hoedown throwdown yes okay we got a pop for the hoedown
throwdown it is a classic generationally shifting musical sequence you don't have to like it but
it's history you do have to do it everyone yeah two three something something something something oh i wrote down all the lyrics uh it is pop it lock it
polka dot it country
something put your hug in the sky yeah i'm fucking with you i'm sorry knows it better than me someone
had it wait do you would you mind just doing it on do you you know it? Yeah. I think I know most of it. All right, let's see.
I don't know.
Sorry to be so scared.
Sorry, I just ate the scariest corndog of my life.
Sorry, okay, let's...
Okay, so it starts with what?
Pop it, lock it, poke it, dot it,
country fight it, hip hop.
Somebody...
Hit it.
Hit it.
Side, side, side.
Jump to the left.
Stick it.
Glide.
Zigzag.
Across the floor.
Shuffle and diagonal.
Diagonal.
Okay.
So like a kind of a historic thing that happened there.
Thank you.
So wait, what's your name?
Zav.
Give it up for Zav, everybody.
That was very special.
I loved it.
The music kind of moves you.
It does.
I agree with that.
It's not about the lyrics.
No, it's about how you feel.
It's a song that feels like a song.
To misquote Harry Styles.
Okay, so Miley inspires everyone in town
to perform the hoedown throwdown.
But Mr. Capitalism shows up and he's like,
you'll never raise enough money to stop me
from putting up my shopping mall.
And then Travis Boo suggests that Miley invite never raise enough money to stop me from putting up my shopping mall and then travis boo suggests
that miley invite hannah montana to town to put on a huge benefit concert because miley had
previously mentioned that she knew hannah and you're like travis shut the fuck up that's every
time travis speaks i my fists clench He thinks he's so fucking smart.
He's going to make a killing in the egg business.
Then she'll be sorry.
With the ugliest chicken coop I've ever seen.
Sorry.
His whole arc, he's like, I'm building a chicken coop.
And then at the end, Miley Cyrus makes it uglier than it's ever been.
And he's like, I better date her.
And then Travis, for the like, I better date her.
And then Travis, for the record, never heard from again.
She has a totally different boyfriend on the show.
She's dating a guitarist named Jesse,
who keeps forgetting, like, his whole, Jesse's whole thing, I made Caitlin and Sophie watch the episodes today.
Jesse, his brain cells, they're not so good.
And so her whole thing is like, just don't kiss me when I'm Hannah Montana. And he's like, okay, got it. Jesse, his brain cells, they're not so good.
So her whole thing is like,
just don't kiss me when I'm Hannah Montana.
And he's like, okay, got it.
That night on Jay Leno,
he kisses her as Hannah Montana and Jay Leno gets the scoop.
It's thrilling.
Why is Jay Leno on the show?
Why is Larry David in the show?
You didn't want Travis on the show.
No, I mean, I wasn't asking.
I didn't want more Travis,
but he's just a pretty diabolical character in general.
We didn't really want Jesse either.
No.
We didn't really want the show.
We could get guys in there.
I liked the show.
Okay, so Travis is like,
invite Hannah Montana to town.
So now Miley has to pretend to bring
Hannah to town her friend Lily shows up to help Hannah is then invited to a dinner with the mayor
but oh no it's at the same time as the date that she has with Travis okay hijinks alert
mrs doubtfire scene alert and so. Miley has to go back and forth
between the two events
putting on her Hannah wig,
taking off her Hannah wig.
It's
really good storytelling.
Robert, you had a pretty...
Travis is waiting for his
date and he keeps getting angrier and angrier.
As someone who was
once a 17-year- old boy, if I had
been on a date with a girl and she
had not shown up and then come back and apologize,
the last thing I would have done is get
angry.
But he's furious. He's quick to anger
every single time and you're like, we gotta get
No, he puts his fist through some drywall
after that. We just don't see that scene.
That's why it's taking so long
to build his damn chicken coop.
He's punching holes in it.
And then he figures out that Miley is Montana
and he's really upset because she lied to him.
We're going to let it slide.
What did I say this time?
I love that phrase.
He's got fingers Montana.
Did I really do it again?
No, no, no.
Here's the thing.
You weren't wrong, but you definitely were right.
It's okay.
Okay.
So Miley is upset that Travis dumped her for reasons that we know about.
And she and her dad have a heart to heart they sing a song together
i guess it's moving and um then it's time for the big concert i love when it's time for the
big concert it's like wow is the third act happening she starts performing but then she
stops and she's like i can't this. I can't lie to you.
This is my hometown.
You're my people, and I'm Miley Cyrus Stewart.
Not Hannah Montana.
So she takes off her wig,
and then she performs a song as Miley.
And it seems like she's going to quit being Hannah Montana.
Which, this is a while, because it seems like she, whatever, it seems like she's going to quit being Hannah Montana. Which, this is a while, because it seems like she, whatever,
it seems like she wants to quit being Hannah Montana at this point.
Which is like, I mean, whatever, there's plenty of reasons, right?
And I'm overthinking this.
There's, like, I can see how wanting to be rid of your alter ego, that's good.
But it seems like she's like, so I can date Travis.
And you're like, ugh.
Throwing away your career for Travis wouldn't be me.
I mean, but the way egg prices have gone lately,
that might still work out for her.
I was really hoping that that was not your egg joke.
I do have a lot of problems
with the way eggs are depicted in this movie.
Okay, well then, yeah, please.
That's what our show is about.
We see a chicken coop
that has easily 30 to 40 chickens, okay?
Now, we see Miley put maybe four or five eggs
in her pockets, right,
before she falls and breaks them,
and then she only finds one more.
Now, based on what the outside looks like
and based on the way people are dressed,
it's clearly shot sometime in spring or early summer,
given the weather in Tennessee.
That is prime egg-making hours.
With that many chickens,
they're putting out
60 to 80 eggs a day,
I guarantee you.
Each chicken?
Where are the other eggs, Miley?
This sounds like
the worst social media campaign
of all time.
Hashtag,
where are the other eggs?
Here's my question.
When collecting eggs,
is it standard to put them in your pockets?
No, that's a terrible place for an egg.
Either way, there's something suspicious
about the egg count that we see in this film.
I think we can all agree that there's...
This was his main point and he's so upset.
I'm livid. Yes, I think we can all agree that there's... This was his main point and he's so upset. I'm livid.
Yes.
And we can,
something we can all agree on
is that she is the fruit
of a poison seed.
I don't believe
you wrote that.
Not sober.
I think that was
sober thoughts.
No, but look.
Wow.
Two, four, zero, nine.
No, no.
Whoa.
Doxing. It's no. Whoa. Doc saying,
It's okay.
I didn't put the zip code on,
so there's no way they'd find it.
Oh my God.
Caitlin, how does the movie end?
I'd be happy to say,
okay, it's time for the big concert.
We're in act three.
She starts performing.
Oh yeah.
She's like, I can't do this.
She takes off her wig.
She might quit being Hannah Montana,
but then everyone's like, you can still be Hannah Montana.
And she's like, oh, yeah.
Duh.
They do the thing that they do to Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 2,
where he reveals his identity.
And they're like, we'll keep it to ourselves.
Oh, yeah.
But in a way, it forces her to be Hannah Montana forever.
Because she's like, I'm ready to be myself.
And they're like, no, thank you.
Just kind of like a nightmare.
Right.
But that sleazy tabloid guy from the beginning
is about to blow her cover.
But then he's like, oh, wait, my daughters told me not to.
So then he doesn't.
And then Miley and Travis kiss. And kiss and the movie yeah we don't like that
and then the movie ends with her performing another song as hannah so i guess no lessons
were learned what's the takeaway the takeaway is uh something something but don't.
Be yourself to a point.
Which I think
is the message
of a lot of
2000s
children's media.
Be yourself
but watch your fucking back.
The message is
if you have a good wig
you can do almost anything.
I know.
But what if you have
Hannah Montana's wig?
Like I said.
I have a practical
Hannah Montana
related question
from the very beginning of the movie.
Yes.
The song we see here play at that stadium in Los Angeles
is called Best of Both Worlds.
That's the theme song to the television show.
Okay, because it's obviously a song.
Yeah, you have to watch your back right now
because people are getting activated.
Well, it's nothing against the song,
but it's clearly a song about being Hannah Montana
and having a secret alter ego.
How is that a mystery then?
It's an open secret.
There's something I loved
about a change.
So that's like the theme song
to the TV show.
They make one small change
between the TV show
and the movie version
of that song.
In the TV show,
there's like a line
that goes like,
you go to movie premieres.
And then she says,
is that Orlando Bloom?
And that happens in 2006.
By 2009, that line is removed
because Orlando Bloom is no longer a famous person.
And you would no longer be excited to see him
at a movie premiere.
Yeah, true.
That song is a classic.
I mean, yeah, she is.
But you would be surprised at how flagrantly she is very obviously not Hannah Montana in the show.
It's almost every episode.
Hey, everybody.
This is Matt Rogers.
And Bowen Yang.
We've got some exciting news for you.
You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right?
Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
The one, the only,
Katherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East.
That's right, the queen of comedy herself.
Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious
as it is insightful.
Tune in for all the laughs, the stories,
and of course, the culture.
I feel some Sandra Bernhard in you.
Oh my god.
I would love it.
I have to watch
Lost. Oh, you have to.
No, I know. I'm so behind.
Katherine Hahn can sing.
I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt
Bjork's music.
I just
was like,
who is this person?
I gotta hawk
this slalom,
Ludi.
Not hawk
the slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow
Shakespearean
when you said it.
It was somehow gorgeous.
Yee,
my slok,
you hollum.
Listen to Las Culturistas
on Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradente.
And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions.
Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or can I negotiate a higher salary if this is
my first real job? Girl, yes. Each week we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as
your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts
who do, like resume specialist Morgan Saner.
The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies.
Yeah, I think a lot about that quote.
What is it like you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take?
Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself.
Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your
sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October
16th, 2017 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the
plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you have any other basic questions about Hannah Montana that we can help you out with?
No, that was about it.
That was more menacing than I intended it to be.
I mean, it is kind of shitty of her to, when she shows up at her friend's party,
immediately get up on stage and play a concert.
If she knows her friend is pissed at her.
What was happening? No one knew that concert was happening that's true yeah that is true because there's
like moments where with like people in her life seem constantly frustrated that she has this alter
ego and it's so inherent to who she is it's like well then don't hang out with her if you don't
like that but no one was forcing her she She literally is like shrugging at Lily.
She's like, I'm sorry, I had to put on a concert
no one asked for with my new awesome song.
To be fair, in the pilot that you made me watch
at Knife Point today, Lily was like,
can I tell everyone, I'm gonna tell them you're Hannah.
And then she was like, don't do that.
And she was like, why?
So confusing, mixed't do that. And she was like, why? So confusing.
Mixed signals.
Yeah.
Also,
I feel like taking the private jet out there
was a significant fraction
of the money
that the town needed to raise
in order to buy the land
from that developer.
Look, and then
Like, that's a third
of the door take home
from that concert.
She just...
And you know that
that's also how Taylor Swift got there.
Taylor Swift is in the movies,
as is...
We have managed to not mention that Rascal Flatts
is at Margo Martindale's house.
What? I didn't even know that.
Oh, I would know those goatees anywhere, baby.
I would...
Oh, it's like you've never seen Cars.
It's ridiculous.
I can't, the lack of media literacy on this stage right now.
It's shocking.
Rascal Flatts is at the house with Robbie Ray and Margo Martindale,
and they're singing some piece of shit song,
because that's what they do.
I liked it.
I liked it.
Yeah, I said, I'm sorry, I i meant piece of shit like uh not pejorative
well okay so okay wait taylor swift is at the open mic night thing right yeah
it's not that's the end and they play but i love it so during the taylor swift song
they they're cutting around to to a bunch of different conflicts,
but most of this sweet Taylor Swift song
about teenagers and love takes place
while Robbie Ray Stewart is talking to Jan Levinson Gould
about how he's a bad boyfriend,
which I thought was a good use of Taylor Swift.
I thought it worked.
Absolutely.
Robert, I am very... What's going on?
He wants to read his notes.
I know I can see you shaking, ready to read the notes.
Yeah, okay, so is this a Behind the Bastards episode now?
What's going on?
I mean, I just have a little bit to say about Billy Ray Cyrus.
I have to say, the font is not very big.
No, no.
Most of these are just notes.
All right.
Well, yeah, no, no, please, please.
Let me make sure people can see the address on here.
So we're talking about Billy Ray Cyrus, not Robbie Ray Stewart.
Is that correct?
Yes.
Okay.
Because no one has ever been named Robbie Ray Stewart.
How many pages is this?
It's not that much.
So Billy Ray was born August 25th, 1961.
Now, he was born in Flatwoods, Kentucky to Ron Cyrus, a steel worker who became a politician,
which is the first time that his actual background conflicts with the movie.
Because the movie clearly shows him growing up as a down-home farm boy,
and his dad was like a union man who became a political leader in the state.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's suspicious, right?
Uh-huh.
So already a manufactured every-man image.
Also, his grandpa was a Pentecostal preacher,
which is problematic.
Now, he dropped out of Georgetown.
He also went to Georgetown.
What the fuck?
I know, right?
Right?
Georgetown. What a liar.
I know.
Yeah, very down-home and country, Billy. How old was he when Achy Breaky Heart came out? What the fuck? I know, right? Right? Georgetown. What a liar. I know. Yeah.
Very down home and country, Billy.
How old was he when Achy Breaky Heart came out? We're getting to Achy Breaky Heart.
Well, but also, I feel like this ties into Taylor Swift is in this country movie while
she's from Pennsylvania.
Oh, yeah.
And she's like, howdy, y'all.
I was like, all right, Pugs of Tawny Phil, chill out.
It's a lot of appropriation going on.
Happy Groundhog Day, everybody.
Woo!
Where my Groundhog Day head's at?
I don't know.
So this is a fun fact.
He dropped out of Georgetown in his junior year
because he went to a Neil Diamond concert
and decided he wanted to become a musician.
Men can do anything. Wow.
So inspiring.
This brings us to the only notable fact
about Billy Ray's musical career,
the song Achy Breaky Heart.
It was written by an amateur songwriter,
Don Van Tress. He didn't write it?
No, no, no.
Billy Ray could never have crafted
the intricate lyrics of Achy Breaky Heart.
And it was originally recorded by a band called the Marcy Brothers, but their version changed lyrics to be less bad.
So when Billy got the song, he was like, no, no, no, let's keep it shitty.
So you're saying not only did he not write it, but he stole it from somebody else? Yes, he stole it
shamelessly. It reached number
23 on CMT's 100th
greatest videos of all time.
Number 2 on VH1's most
awesomely bad song.
Look, Caitlin needs to
tell on themselves really quickly.
The main thing I did to prep
for this episode, aside from watching
Hannah Montana the movie, is watch the music video to Achy Breaky Heart.
It is, yes, it is not good.
No, no, of course not.
It's literally him at a concert in like 4-3 aspect ratio.
It looks like shit.
He has the worst haircut imaginable.
Terrible song.
And it's a bad song.
But, Caitlin, you were texting me that you thought he was very handsome.
Oh, but then I was like, Billy Ray Hotch.
Yeah.
Way to bury the fucking lead.
I was waiting for that.
It's a unique kind of shitty song because when Weird Al Yankovic parodied it,
Weird Al, famously one of the nicest people who's ever lived,
the only parody he could make was so mean
that he donated all of the proceeds
from the song to charity.
He was like, this is too cruel.
I can't profit off of this.
But there's no other way
to make an achy, breaky heart parody.
Oh my God.
Okay, you're like one paragraph big.
Yeah, skip ahead a little.
No, no, we're done.
We're mostly done.
Okay.
So there's a couple of things I want to note.
In April of 2017, he changed his name to Cyrus,
or the artist formerly known as Billy Ray.
And Wikipedia says, fans did not like this,
but on Live with Kelly and Ryan, Cyrus said,
I'm here to set the record straight.
He assured his fans his name would still
be Billy Ray. So that's good.
Now we get to the
sketchy part, because Billy Ray Cyrus
also sits on the advisory board of the Parents
Television Council, which is an
ultra-right-wing
anti-art
organization. They lobby
against the existence of gangster rap
as a legal medium of art.
Yeah, it's founded by a guy named Leo
Brent Bozell III,
who is the nephew
of William F. Buckley.
Jesus fucking Christ.
How long has he been on that council?
For quite a while. I don't have
an exact year here because I was pretty
high when I wrote this. Also,
Cyrus' song, We the People, was used as the campaign song for George W. Bush during his 2000 presidential run.
Cyrus was reported as saying that he was a lifelong Democrat.
Don't know how much I believe that.
Well, he's a Georgetown University Democrat.
That didn't mean anything.
So the last thing I should note is that in the movie, her mom is dead.
Right.
That's like clearly implied.
And not just dead.
Brooke Shields undead.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he is her manager.
What do you mean by that?
Exactly what I said.
Canonically in the show and the movie, her mom is always dead.
But sometimes her ghost comes back and it's Brooke Shields.
And Brooke Shields is like,
Miley, I'm so proud of you.
And then you're like,
what the fuck is going on?
It's not like flashbacks?
She comes back as a ghost?
She's not.
But she does,
yeah, she comes to advise Miley.
The two main female advisors
in Miley's life,
and I view this as a positive,
are Brooke Shields and Dolly Parton.
Dolly Parton
guested on the show many times because she's
Miley Cyrus' actual godmother.
And today we watched the episode
where Dolly Parton
robs the AV club
or something. It was pretty exciting.
It was good.
Anyways, yes.
It's fun that her mom is dead in the show
and Billy Ray is her manager because in real life
her mother Tish was her manager.
And Tish
and Billy Ray got divorced
in the year 2000.
Oh, sorry, in April
2022 after a couple of different
divorce attempts. And in September
of that year,y ray shared a
photo of himself with a woman named fire hose on instagram that is her legal name okay um the two
met over a decade prior on the set of hannah montana oh no yeah um she is i mean she's 34
now now okay um so yeah
uh
there's one
one last thing I'll read
it's not against the law
about how they met
I made him
I made
I was like
how old was she
when they met
22
22
yeah
on the set of his
daughter's show
not a little but a little
yeah
and he
in one of the stories
he gives about how they met
he notes
or it's noted fire hose he's like walking, he's walking his dog when she comes out of the Hannah Montana set.
On that given day, Firehose came out the front door.
There was almost a moment of, I don't know, recognition.
I was like, this girl's a star.
He said that back then?
No, that's what he said now. That he thought back then. that's what he said now
That he thought back then
That's what he said he thought back then
On his daughter's TV show
That he was getting paid to do
Opera likeness
I wish Firehose the best
I think we should all keep Firehose in our thoughts
Thoughts and prayers for Firehose
Yeah thoughts and prayers for Firehose
Is my take away
Is that all of
Billy Ray's crimes? Did we miss anything?
That's most of it, yeah.
We're good.
Well, Caitlin, was there anything else that stuck
out to you about this movie?
Besides the fact that it's
fucking awesome.
It's so awesome.
The scene where
Travis is like, he comes in comes she's like in a barn or a chicken coop i'm
not sure and she's singing a song and he's like that song fucking sucks why oh you're still doing
that singing thing and yeah also it's generic and your song isn't even about anything. First of all, he only heard like two lines of it.
Secondly, none of her songs are about anything.
So what's the problem?
And one of her songs is clearly...
They're about the best of both worlds.
What are you talking about?
One of her songs is famously about if she were a movie.
That's one of her most favorite.
If we were a movie, you'd be the right guy.
I'd be the best friend that you'd fall in love with in the end.
How is that not about something, Caitlin?
Okay, and then, sorry.
Her song that goes, pop it, lock it, poke it, dot it.
Yeah, it's about the power of dance.
Put your hug in the sky, something side to side,
jump to the left, stick it, glide, et cetera etc i'd like to see you do it i'm getting
defensive of him again it's fine so my point is uh travis sucks we already knew that but
in particular in that scene where he was like your art is bad and it's like what have you ever done besides make an ugly chicken coop travis
wow i mean wow um yeah i yeah and then it's like all the scenes between uh robbie ray stewart
and miley are always weird because he always is he always is like walking after her the whole
series and the movie is like what are you so upset about and it's like same thing as usual the split identity you forced me into so you could have this shitty sitcom house
next to the beach ultimately i think that uh vita is a fun character i wish she got to do
more because it's like you got vanessa will you're not going to let her do more stuff.
Don't waste my time.
We could just get rid of Travis
and have so much more fun.
More Tyra.
More Tyra.
I feel like she,
we still have to cover Life Size.
That was what I thought when we,
that was a huge thought
that I was having.
The people want the life size episode
that movie was beautiful
I haven't seen it in 20 years
I'm sure it aged perfectly
it's perfect
the people have spoken
it's perfect
oh and then the other thing I wanted to say
is that in Hannah Montana
women are not the only ones who are
pratfalling because Billy Ray
or whatever his name is in the movie
he pratfalls
too
yay
he knocks a bunch of plates
over and that's equity
that is like very inherent to this like
era of like disney sitcom girls specifically because if i had uh you know a dollar for every
time we got i mean we've talked about hillary duff she's slipping sliding all over the place
raven simone just absolutely flying across the room at a moment's notice. Miley Cyrus just careening out of a can.
They're just flopping around.
I love it.
They were the greatest physical comedians of our era.
I like when girl walking and then she fall down.
I look at her, I say, she like me.
That's funny.
Also, and Robert, you brought this up
as far as they like dead mom her.
She's like the Disney princess her, basically.
I do want to mention,
as far as the father-daughter relationship goes,
the parallels to Armageddon.
Caleb.
Okay, I'm listening.
Okay, ready?
Single dad and daughter.
Daughter.
Daughter has a little boyfriend.
And something is headed their way
to destroy their town.
An asteroid and or American capitalism.
Equally bad things.
And the characters need to stop it.
It's true.
And they do the classic, they save the town from the thing, sort of, kind of.
And you kind of forget what the threat was in the first place.
And then there's a really loud song and then you pass out
that's the move I didn't know this until you mentioned it Robert that it was
mildly Cyrus's mother who was her yeah and a job throughout her entire career
fish and then the movie is like or the or the show in the movie is like,
no, it was Billy Ray.
It was her daddy.
So that's...
Stolen valor.
It's the erasure of women's labor.
Tish erasure.
Ugh.
And that's all I have to say.
Okay.
So I feel...
So here's what we know. Yes. This movie is say. Okay. So I feel, so here's what we know.
Yes.
This movie is good.
Yeah.
I think that that's
the conclusion we've come to.
However,
I feel like,
I don't know,
like,
Caitlin,
Sophie,
and I,
like,
we can tap into
our natural pop star
pretty easily,
but Robert,
I just feel like
you've got,
like,
a lot of weapons
and kind of scary notes.
And I'm just,
like,
not getting pop star from you right now so i wanted
to don't touch the notes anymore please don't i no one wants to see the address we're gonna put
that down robert i want to like we were thinking we would help you kind of get in touch with your
inner pop star tonight is that okay oh boy okay okay let's kick up the music we uh we we've got
we've got a little plan. We've got a quiz.
I found a quiz on the internet called Pop Star, Which Are You?
All right, Robert Evans, if you want to find out which pop star you are,
this personality quiz reveals your perfect famous singer match.
Side note, can you name at least three of those people?
Oh.
The quiz before the quiz.
Yeah, that's
Selena Gomez.
Is that one of them?
Yes.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah, that looks like
there's a Selena Gomez
in there.
Is that Taylor Swift
in the structure?
Yes.
See?
All right, I'm out.
One more.
You don't know the Biebs?
Come on, I've given you
five years to learn this one.
That's Justin Bieber.
Really?
Yeah, and that is famously... Oh, he got a little caked out, didn't he?
Hi.
That's famously the woman you
called Ariana Grande.
Wait, which one?
I'm going to be honest.
You got half a decade to learn this. I just knew one of the three
ladies was Selena Gomez.
Robert's a big fan of Rare Beauty Cosmetics.
Alright, we're going to start the quiz. Okay, but who the hell
is on the left? No one knows.
That name
means nothing to me.
No one's quite sure who that is on the left.
Alright, can we start the quiz?
The first question, what is your favorite
treat?
With two E's
I might know
mashed potato cheese pizza eating out at Nando's
or chicken nuggets
I mean I gotta
say Nando's
eating out at Nando's okay let's choose that one
Caitlin you wanna take this next one
absolutely
pick a movie or series
romance slash sci-fi
why are those two grouped together?
Not sure.
No, this makes sense.
Sci-fi slash action.
That makes a little more sense.
Crime slash action or Bollywood drama.
Thoughts?
There's a lot of, you know,
there's some intersecting Venn diagram circles.
You know, it's heartbreaking to think
that soon quizzes like this will be written by AIs.
I know.
Putting hardworking writers out of business.
What are you thinking?
Answer the question.
Oh, I have to answer?
Yes, Robert.
Well, I guess, I mean, my preference in movies is my preference in real life.
So crime action.
Crime action.
I could go for some crime action.
All right.
Next we have, what song do you like most?
Oh, this is going to be rough.
Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant,
Get It Right by Diplo and M.O.,
Hey Jude by The Beatles,
or Thriller by Michael Jackson.
Did you guys hear the latest Cage the Elephant news?
No, I haven't heard the latest Cage the Elephant.
What am I, five years old?
The lead singer was arrested in New York
because people at the hotel noticed
when he was in the bathroom yelling at no one
that he had a loaded gun in his pants.
So he was illegally carrying two.45s loaded and chambered.
Anyway.
Robert, are you sure that wasn't you?
I'm going to go with cigarette daydreams.
Okay.
All right.
Why are you like this?
All right, next question, Gail.
Okay.
Where do you like to live?
The four places.
Well, California and Europe
are both acceptable.
England and New York are not.
Yeah.
I guess I'm going to go with Europe
because California
is going to burn down soon.
Okay.
Fair.
Okay.
Which car do you like the most?
Red car,
blue car,
green car,
or red car?
I'm going to have to go
with the green one.
Okay.
I like,
yes.
Yes.
That's really going to hurt
the environment real bad.
None of them are going
to be good
for the environment.
But that one looks like Shrek.
Who is good for the environment?
Shrek heads.
What is your favorite animal?
Tarantulas?
Horses?
Cats or lions?
Wow, I guess.
Cats or lions?
Somehow there's a...
I can't forgive this quiz for making me choose between cats and lions.
But I'll go with cats.
Okay.
Good call.
Good call.
Do you know how many nipples a cat has?
It's eight.
That's cat facts with Caitlin.
Like a spider.
Thank you, Caitlin.
Robert, which country or region would you like to visit the most?
Is it Hawaii?
Hawaii?
Eastern Europe? The UK or India?ia i'm gonna have to go with why
no one's been there before i'm drawn to mystery
what musical instrument would you like to learn ukulele cello piano i would only like to sing
yeah i would only like to sing okay Yeah, I would only like to sing. Okay, you're going to regret saying that.
Which personality trait fits you according to your friends and family?
Okay, Sophie, you can answer this.
I said whore.
I said whore.
Being rebellious, being stubborn, being competionate,
or being a dreamer?
Sophie, you should answer this.
You're friends and family.
I'm going to go with
ask the audience.
No!
I'm sorry, but the clear answer
is compationate.
He's a very compationate guy.
That's a fascinating spellingunate guy that's a fascinating
misspelling
alright
oh yes
which
what fictional character
inspires you the most
Michael Scott
from The Office
Robin Williams
is a fictional character
Robin Williams
Willy Wonka
or Harry Potter
yeah Robert
answer this question
answer the question
I'm gonna have to go with Robin Williams but specifically Robin Williams from One Hour Photo Willy Wonka or Harry Potter? Yeah, Robert, answer this question. Answer the question.
I'm going to have to go with Robin Williams,
but specifically Robin Williams from One Hour Photo.
That's a good Robin Williams.
Which quote do you agree with the most?
All the good girls go to hell.
Be kind to yourself a little more every day.
Music is a powerful tool,
and galvanizing people are not an issue.
Or, no matter how many times people try to criticize you,
the best revenge is to prove them wrong.
Well,
I guess the
revenge one.
I am a revenge stan.
I thought he was gonna
go, oh, good girl's good.
I was like, that would have been a fun and sassy switch up.
What are you afraid of?
Darkness?
Loneliness? Being in a crowded
place or drowning?
I mean, I gotta give it to them. They spelled loneliness
right, which I was not expecting from this
writer.
Your answer is definitely being in a
crowded place. Yeah. Having being in a crowded place.
Yeah, having been in a couple of crowd crush
situations, everyone file out real
carefully.
Who would you like to spend
an evening with?
Oh boy.
Friends?
Friends?
Fans?
Alone? Or family?
I'm going to have to go with alone.
Yeah, your friends are so sad.
What natural element inspires you the most?
The sky, the ocean, mountains, or the desert?
I'm going to go with mountains.
Yes, a classic element.
What is your favorite type of sport?
Horseback riding, boxing, football, or soccer?
What a series of choices.
Well, I'm like on an artistic level, I appreciate head injuries.
So I'm going to go with football.
Okay.
Although boxing.
That's tough.
And falling off a horse?
You could get a break... You're right.
They're all great head injury sports.
Soccer, too, but I'm going to go with football.
Okay.
This is a really long quiz.
Look, we're almost done.
16 of 20.
Okay, what is your favorite time of day?
Afternoon, morning, dusk, or night?
Night.
Yeah.
I don't like that they did that out of chronological order.
What would you do first to make the world
a better place? Abolishing
sexual discrimination,
ending all wars,
controlling climate change,
or restoring balance in the global economy?
Sorry, you can only pick one. You're going to seem like
a bitch no matter what.
I mean, look, controlling climate
change sounds like I could
control the weather.
You could make it worse.
And I could deal
with some problems
if I could control the weather.
So I'm going to go with that one.
That's the vaguest answer by far.
Okay.
Select one of the drinks below.
Rum, vodka, wine, or tequila?
Tequila.
Tequila.
Tequila.
That's not even a question.
I was also thinking
of that, ketamine, but...
What city is the best place to live for a pop star?
LA, Paris,
London, or New York?
I mean, what's furthest
away from me? Paris.
Let's keep them far.
Okay.
And final question. Oh my gosh.
Select a supernatural
power. You know, that's how
that's said. The graphics on this quiz are awesome.
Invisibility, reading minds,
talking and understanding what animals
say. Eliza Thornberry
talking and understanding what animals say.
Flying, but specifically
without wings.
And don't press next yet.
What does that mean?
I mean,
flying, right?
That's the only choice in a list of superpowers that includes flying.
Can we get a little drum roll?
Because we're about to get Robert's pop star.
So excited.
Robert, your pop star is...
You may click.
Oh, no.
That is pretty fucking rough, man.
Yeah, that's not good.
That is not...
How are we feel?
No, no.
All right, listen.
All right, give it up for Robert.
That was very vulnerable of you to do.
Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
Hey, everybody. This is Matt Rogersgers and bowen yang we've got some exciting news for you you know we're always bringing you the best guests right well this week we're taking it to the next level
the one the only katherine han is joining us on lost culture east that's right the queen of comedy
herself get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful.
Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.
I feel some Sandra Bernhardt in you.
Oh my God, I would love it.
I have to watch Lost.
Oh, you have to.
No, I know, I'm so behind.
Katherine Hahn can sing.
Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt Bjork's music.
I just was like, who is this person?
I got to hawk this slalom, Luge.
I'm not going to hawk this slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it.
It was somehow gorgeous.
Yee, my slok, you hollum.
Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Prudente.
And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions.
Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed?
Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job?
Girl, yes.
Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions.
Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice.
And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do,
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The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job
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Yeah, I think a lot about that quote.
What is it, like you miss 100% of the shots you never take?
Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself.
Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career
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Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist
who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now.
The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia.
I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,
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Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
There you have it, listeners.
That was our live show, recorded again back in February
at Curious Comedy Theatre in Portland.
We wanted to jump back in february at curious comedy theater in portland we wanted to jump back in though to
discuss something that we didn't have time for in the live show but we wanted to um bring up
uh miley cyrus's history of appropriation right which i think you get a taste of, not that you would want it, in this movie.
Not to say that, you know, at this point, Miley is a kid.
She's not really making a lot of her own creative decisions.
But I think that it is something that you see very often in kids' media, which is still very white dominated um you know the hoedown throwdown it's a very uh
gentle uh sort of blend of of genres uh but i think we're more talking about how this unfolds
in her adult career because it's been um i feel like it's it's pretty common knowledge that it's been, I feel like it's pretty common knowledge that it's been a lot.
Yes. So Miley Cyrus, along with many other white pop artists, have a history of appropriating
other cultures, often black culture, using people of color as props and set dressing in music videos,
things like that. And these artists profiting from that. And then when that
aesthetic doesn't serve them anymore, or, you know, like in the case of Miley, when she wants
to get back to her country roots, for example, these artists have the privilege of being able to
easily shed the persona that they had been appropriating.
Right. And I think that the sort of most well-known arc of this takes place after the Hannah Montana movie,
but surrounds Miley's album Bangers, which came out in 2013, which I think appropriated so heavily from
black culture that it was a topic of discussion in 2013, which is, you know, culturally a thousand
years ago. Right. But there was a lot of criticism, rightfully so, around how Miley incorporated black aesthetics into her music
and into her music videos and there was uh also a lot of criticism of using black women and black
dancers essentially as props uh during this I think particularly this album but also just kind
of throughout these couple of years uh she generally
would not respond to these criticisms at all or just blow them off would not engage with them
seriously at all feign ignorance that kind of thing this goes into 2015 she hosts the mtv music
video music awards the vmas in dreadlocks and you're just like that well i didn't i don't
remember that but that and then i saw and then i was like well that's horrible uh and like you
were referencing caitlin that came uh back around in 2017 when she did an interview in billboard
when she was sort of going back to country completely disavowing or really distancing
herself from um from hip-hop in general even though she was very clearly profiting off of
um off of hip-hop for years like half a decade and and then she told i mean not only in this interview does she distance herself
she also mocks it and uh you know just i don't know i was like do we want to share quotes it's
kind of like this too it's gross i don't want to share quotes from that but i would like to share
quotes from a teen vogue article by Michael Arsenault entitled Miley Cyrus
faces rightful backlash in the light of past cultural appropriation. It's from 2017. I'll
switch back and forth from like direct quotes and paraphrasing, but it's a really good article.
We will link it in our show notes. But Michael Arsenault speaks about white child stars
trying to make a transition into bona fide adult star and what often happens with that and how
Miley Cyrus is a prime example of this. So, quote, when they are younger, their squeaky clean
presentation is incredibly profitable. But unfortunately for them, they age out and soon So, quote, and are in search of new voices and sounds more aligned with their newfound older interests.
So they clamor for something that will convey rebellion, and they run right to Black culture.
Then Michael talks about America's obsession with Black culture, which non-Black Americans
generally perceive as cool, but respect for Black culture does not extend to the black people who
are creating that culture, as they are the subjects of constant racial discrimination.
And then Michael goes on to discuss the public backlash against Miley throughout the years regarding her appropriation of hip hop aesthetics and styles. And we already
alluded to this, but like the very cringy comments she has made about it, or the ignorance she has
feigned about it, things like that. And how easy it is for, again, white artists to co-opt black
culture for personal gain, not only like money and
profitability, but also as a like strategic, like, oh, I'm going to co-opt this culture to
gain like credibility and popularity and get myself to a certain like level of fame that I
want to be in. And then when it no longer suits an artist like Miley Cyrus,
they're able to just shed that persona when they no longer feel it suits their interests.
Right. And I think I mean, other and again, like you were saying earlier, this is not a
problem specific to her. She is one of the more prominent perpetrators uh in the last 10 years but it's like
also in the last 10 years we have you know iggy azalea and ariana grande and and i know that i'm
missing other white pop stars and it's also not an issue that's specific to white women it's
white artists writ large um there's a there's an interview between Sandra Song and Emma Bracey on an episode of
Teen Vogue's Pop Feminist. We just love Teen Vogue. But they talk about a lot of the same
things that this article is discussing. And they also cite Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne,
Gwen Stefani, who all have a history of appropriating East Asian culture.
And then like Justin Timberlake, so many white artists.
Really, name a white pop star.
I think the list is shorter of artists who have not done it in the last 20 years.
And, you know, going back, obviously, doesn't get better. Thank you for sharing that.
I hadn't seen that article. And then I'll share one last kind of closing thought from it.
Quote, there is something to be said for an artist having the space to try new things.
And for many born of a certain age, hiphop culture has been the defining culture for their entire lives.
But if you don't respect the subcultures you borrow from, you are not so much curious as you
are a charlatan. In a perfect world, black art made by black people would be just as successful
as the art made by a white artist who's inspired by it. In an ideal society, what black people are vilified for wouldn't be so much
more alluring when performed by white people. So yeah, I thought that was just a wonderful article
with a lot of great points. Let's link that in the description as well. The last thing I wanted
to say was, I guess, just referencing uh miley cyrus eventually did respond to these
criticisms uh not until 2019 that i was able to see um but i just thought it was interesting in
the way that this happened because it i didn't realize it's a youtube channel that i watch called as told by kenya
a woman named kenya wilson she does great pop culture critique and she released a video in 2019
called uh miley cyrus is my problematic fave sorry uh which is a fun title um but basically in that
she she goes through everything that we've spoken about and more in detail and sort of lays out how she feels about how because Miley's been silent on this issue so long, like what is a way forward?
Is there a way forward?
And her personal opinion on like, I still enjoy her work.
So how do I square this as a black woman?
And Miley Cyrus actually watched and commented on the video. And I mean, it's not, I just thought
it was interesting. I'll share a short quote of what she responded. She said, quote, there are
decades of inequality that I am aware of but i
still have a lot to learn about silence is a part of the problem and i refuse to be quiet anymore
simply said i fucked up and i sincerely apologize i'm committed to using my voice for healing change
and standing up for what's right which is very vague but um yes the the one thing that did feel, I guess, the most clear was I own the fact that saying, quote, this pushed me out of the hip hop scene a little, unquote, referencing that 2017 interview, was insensitive, as was interesting that this was a conversation that is still ongoing and it doesn't correct anything that was done. But just I'll, we can link Kenya's video as well because it is very comprehensive and she's just really fun to watch. I really like her. that we didn't have time for in the live show. And what we also failed to do in the live show
was take the nipple scale seriously.
Oh, yeah.
So we're going to give more serious answers
for our nipple scale,
which is, of course, the metric we use.
It is a scale of zero to five nipples
based on evaluating the movie through
an intersectional feminist lens yeah i i'm now remembering why we didn't take it very seriously
in the movie or in the episode because uh this is a very silly movie. I don't know.
I guess like one and a half nipples.
Yeah,
sure.
I'm like,
I truly don't.
I mean,
yeah,
yeah.
One and a half nipples.
Yeah.
And I won't say anything any further.
If you know,
you know,
I'm going one and a half and i'm giving them to
rico for some reason oh wait who yeah yeah i'll tell you when you're older
okay thanks uh i'll give my nipples to character actor margo martindale amazing
thank you again to uh to robert evans and to curious comedy theater and to the entire audience
that came out to that uh absolutely chaotic bizarre show uh and to sophie lichterman we
should be thanking her every single episode but particularly this one because not only
did she uh was she kind enough to come on stage for the show but also
uh like put us up and like sarah shout out to sarah marshall and sophie luchterman for giving
us a place to lay our perfect beautiful heads yes um and yeah uh hopefully you know we we are
planning to be on tour a little bit in the fall so keep your eyes peeled
so you too can witness the terror that is a Bechdel cast live show will a knife get thrown at you
I'm gonna be so careful that that does not happen again but could be fun could be at the very least
we will probably eat hot dogs on stage and maybe wear wigs.
Yeah, we're getting into, we're kind of entering our themed costume at the show era. So
don't rule out a wig.
Yeah. And you will find out about things like upcoming tours on our social media, where you can follow us on Twitter and Instagram at
Bechtelcast. You can also always subscribe to the Matreon, which is at patreon.com slash Bechtelcast.
It is $5 a month and you get access to two bonus episodes per month plus the entire back catalog of all of
our bonuses something like 150 ish episodes wilds we just covered what a girl wants after years of
avoiding it and yeah you can also get our merch over on tpublic.com slash the Bechtel cast.
And in the meantime, time to get on your horse or whatever and go hang out with Margo Martindale or whatever.
I'm going to go into the chicken coop and collect three eggs.
And I'll collect whatever other appropriate number of eggs there are in there.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Hey, everybody.
This is Matt Rogers.
And Bowen Yang.
We've got some exciting news for you.
You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right?
Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
The one, the only, Catherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East.
That's right.
The queen of comedy herself.
Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful.
Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.
Don't miss Katherine Hahn on Las Culturistas.
Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti.
And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of
Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're
just starting your career. That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn
to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert
Maury Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think
it sort of eases us a little bit.
Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who, on October 16, 2017, was assassinated.
Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.