The Bechdel Cast - It Takes Two with Catherine Cohen and Pat Regan

Episode Date: July 11, 2019

Caitlin and Jamie decide to adopt two identical strangers Catherine Cohen and Pat Regan after discussing It Takes Two.(This episode contains spoilers)For Bechdel bonuses, sign up for our Patreon at pa...treon.com/bechdelcast.Follow @catccohen and @poregans on Twitter.  While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and silence around sex and sexuality in Latinx communities. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between Latinas from Gen X to Gen Z. We're your hosts, Viosa and Mala. You might recognize us from our first show, Locatora Radio. Listen to Señora Sex Ed on the iHeart Radio app,
Starting point is 00:00:58 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Michael Rapoport, and I have been professionally podcasting for 10 years. The podcast game has changed so much, and if you're looking for the most disruptive podcast in the world, then subscribe to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast today. We're talking sports, politics, pop culture, entertainment, and anything that catches my attention.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Listen to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Bechdelcast, the questions asked if movies have women in them. Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effin' vast. Start changing it with the Bechdel cast. Hello, welcome to the Bechdel cast. My name's Jamie Loftus. My name's Caitlin Durante.
Starting point is 00:01:52 And this is our podcast about the portrayal of women in movies. And how Hollywood fucks it up almost constantly. Caitlin language. Sorry. Early in the podcast. I've read the reviews and they say we're vulgar and we don't know what we're talking about. That's all the reviews. Hooray. Good lord. So if you want to not
Starting point is 00:02:09 have those be our only reviews, please rate and review us on iTunes. Hey, the Bechdel test, if you don't know what that is, is a media test created by cartoonist Alison Bechdel and it requires that a piece of media, a movie perhaps, has
Starting point is 00:02:25 two female-identifying characters with names. They must speak to each other, and their conversation cannot be about a man. Yeah. You'd think it'd be easy, but most movies don't pass it. A lot of them don't. Yeah. Anywho, so we use that as a way to kick off a conversation about women in movies, and we're going to do that again today.
Starting point is 00:02:45 It's the same thing every freaking time time every fucking time over two fucking years james jesus okay so today we're featuring an iconic duo that we've never featured on this show before and so it only seemed fitting that we bring in an iconic duo to cover it with us yes yes. Yes. So without much further ado. They're panicking. They're panicking. They're holding hands. They are comedians and they are the hosts
Starting point is 00:03:12 of the Seek Treatment podcast on the Forever Dog Network. It's Katherine Cohen and Pat Regan. Hey. Hello. Oh my God. Please only talk in unison
Starting point is 00:03:24 the entire episode we actually were can I say this I wonder we were chatting with Catherine's abroad lover
Starting point is 00:03:31 sure can we say that and I my abroad lover I've never met him but we were both facetiming him and I walked into her apartment
Starting point is 00:03:39 she was facetiming him so I started talking and he was like oh you guys talk alike no he's like you talk how she does okay you're revealing where he's from but you're incredible I was like oh you guys talk alike he's like you talk how she does you're revealing where he's from I was like I have a guess where he's from
Starting point is 00:03:50 you should know that I'm bad at like if I try to do like Australian accent it comes out as Japanese if I try to do a British accent it comes out as Midwestern like I try to do any accent besides like British or Southern it sounds like a sim it's like skork which I'm obsessed with
Starting point is 00:04:05 it's like skorg and dort wait you guys have never had a duo before? no oh no we did we had one for Debs we had a duo for
Starting point is 00:04:13 oh that's cool we kind of covered Black Panther was also Black Panther was a duo yes yeah actually this may be the fourth or fifth time
Starting point is 00:04:23 but yeah wait did you say that or did I make that up? You wanted to hear that. I wanted to hear that. You wanted to be brought an iconic to hope. But you know what? No, you're the first.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Canonically, you're the first. We'll reverse all the numbers necessary. What's so crazy about time is that though we experience it linearly, that's not how it exists. It's actually cyclical. It's fluid. Why is it so long? Time? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:44 I know. I'm trying to move through some pain I'm experiencing and it won't go away. It's kind of insane how I feel like I've been alive for a million years. Time is so long, but also what no one talks about is time is also so short. I'll be lying there. Wow. I'll be lying. I'll be kind of lying there looking at the ceiling all of a sudden.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I'm not even kidding. It's 16 hours later. But look at me. Sometimes the day starts and we're like it's already three i know but thank you guys for having us as the point oh my god you're so welcome so we are talking about the movie it takes two what is the both of your history your relationship with this oh and we should say it's a mary-kate and ashley movie yeah m Mary-Kate and Ashley. It's a Mary-Kate and Ashley, big screen,
Starting point is 00:05:27 Steve Guttenberg, wet and shirtless, Kirstie Alley, Hail Xenu movie. Wait, we have one question before we start. And we're going to ask you guys this question.
Starting point is 00:05:36 And you need to answer honestly. Okay. And don't look it up. How old do you think Kirstie Alley is today? Right now, after you said that. I know, I Googled it
Starting point is 00:05:44 so I can answer but isn't it crazy I don't know can I guess yes today as we sit in this podcast studio
Starting point is 00:05:52 how old is Kirstie I would guess 63 68 years old this woman is 7 years old I guess 53
Starting point is 00:06:00 that's like more what I thought but she didn't start doing like acting until she was like 30 yeah so there's hope for me she broke out there's hope we're all doing it I am 30 53. That's more what I thought, but she didn't start acting until she was like 30. There's hope for me? We're all doing it.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I am 30. I would like to say, to bring it back to the point of the podcast. Thank you so much. It takes two. Now, Mary-Kate and Ashley raised me. Did they raise you? To an extent, yeah. Not only did they raise me, they invented me. Holiday in the sun, passport to Paris. I thought, when I go on a vacation, I'm going to get kissed.
Starting point is 00:06:28 It wouldn't be years later, 10 years even, before I did get kissed upon first seeing Passport to Paris. But we come to It Takes Two, and this was in theaters, am I right? Yes, it was. Steve Guttenberg, who invented the printing press. Kirstie Alley, who invented jeans. I picture her in in she has amazing hair she invented
Starting point is 00:06:46 Alley's Alley ways she invented a certain kind of hair that she doesn't get credit for it's a very specific mom hairstyle it's beautiful
Starting point is 00:06:55 my experience on the movie is that it taught me that I like sloppy joes so you grew up with this movie Catherine you saw it a bunch
Starting point is 00:07:02 kind of thing okay Pat what about you my relationship was i like i had like one best friend growing up we'd have sleepovers and watch like movies and we would watch like romey and michelle's high school reunion or like it takes two a recent episode of ours oh wow did it pass yeah yeah totally great film that movie literally is what i watch when i like want to quit comedy every single day i watch
Starting point is 00:07:26 that movie so i watch that movie every single day um but um that is such a specific vibe the movie you watch when you're just like ready to quit yeah but so we loved it takes two for some reason i remember like going to blockbuster and getting it there's just certain lines of it that i've always remembered like i've always remembered the part where the social worker is gonna is taking took away one of them and she runs into the office and they're like what do you want us to do lie down in front of the van and she's like i would have actually the fuck down um you have a crush on that adoption guy i have a crush on the main guy no i have a question that can't play gym teacher or whatever and i have a crush on the camp gym teacher or whatever. And I have a crush on the abusive adoptive father. I do, too.
Starting point is 00:08:06 I wrote that down. He's our type. I was like, he's hot. And then I looked him up. I was like, oh, he was young when he did that. He's like 25 years old in that. I was like, oh, man. You called that.
Starting point is 00:08:14 I said, I was like, he's really young. I also was like, the butt kisses, the couple. I was like, they, you could tell that couple was like that duo. The actor was like cracking up the crew on set and then like got back to the footage and like oh this isn't that great but whatever
Starting point is 00:08:27 or UCB yeah but I also love it like Mary-Kate and Ashley like obviously watched Full House but then I watched like on ABC Family
Starting point is 00:08:38 there was So Little Time no not yet that was great but not yet Adventures no was it The Adventures
Starting point is 00:08:43 no no no no Stop Stop Stop Two of a Kind Two of a Kind there it is they did so many shows No, not yet. That was great. Adventures. No. Was it The Adventures? No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Two of a Kind. Two of a Kind. There it is. They did so many shows. Because there was The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley, too. What's that?
Starting point is 00:08:52 That was like, that might have been like a video thing. Oh, oh, well, Solve Any Crime by Dinner Time. Yes. Oh, yeah, that was huge. Yes. The Haunted episode where the beekeepers. Oh, my God. An incredible episode.
Starting point is 00:09:01 A classic. I always remember a moment in an episode of, what was the one you just said? So Little Time, where one of them gets addicted to massages. Wait, what? I do not remember that. At the coffee house
Starting point is 00:09:12 they go to, she can't stop getting massages. Oh my god, that's me. For like $60 an hour. I got a massage in public at Bonnaroo, thank you. I was like, this has turned bad.
Starting point is 00:09:23 To get fully massaged while laying down in public is something you shouldn't do. You've gone all the way up to the line. That's something I have to learn about myself is I don't like massages. Professional, where the big thing is like they hurt. What about amateur? Yeah. Like do you and your sex partner like oil each other up?
Starting point is 00:09:37 If it's like a sex, well, one of my favorite kinds of porn is massage porn. That's true. Oh, that's nice. I like it too. There's a whole category of gay porn where it's like a guy's going in to get a sports massage and like he's just like a college football player and then like the guy starts like paying a lot of
Starting point is 00:09:49 attention to the ass and then all of a sudden there's a tongue in there. And you guys know where this lives. It's all the time. And the guy is like totally not expecting to take a dick up his ass but he is perfectly waxed. But then he's like, oh. So it takes two. Steve Guttenberg does look sexy.
Starting point is 00:10:07 He looks so... Oh, my God. He's got a very square build. His shoulder situation. Not a lot of neck. He looks like six different people. Let's name them. The guy from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Starting point is 00:10:18 He also does... Rick Moranis? Hunky Hound. A little bit. I was thinking like Billy Crystal. I was thinking Dennis Quaid, but only because this movie is The Parent Trap. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:26 It is. The movie is The Parent Trap. Yes. And I keep kind of intellectually saying it's also Prince and the Pauper. Stop acting like you've read that. I haven't read it, but whatever. You know it exists. I believe you.
Starting point is 00:10:35 You need to for one second get over the fact that I was an English minor. I can't even picture you near a book. Wait. Jamie, what's your history with the movie? I saw it when I was really young. For some reason, my household was not a Mary-Kate and Ashley household. I think my mom did not care for them. But my best friend, Lindsay, growing up, had a very Mary-Kate and Ashley household.
Starting point is 00:10:55 So all my memories with them are tied to hanging out with her. And I would go over and we would watch as many as possible before I would have to go home. So I'm talking the sleepover tapes. I'm talking the mystery tapes. I'm talking It Takes Two, Passport to Paris, Billboard Dad, my personal favorite and this one. This is like not my favorite one but it's you know I love. I think that this is the only one that was like
Starting point is 00:11:17 in theaters like wide release. Until New York Minute many years later. Oh my god. Loved New York Minute. Now what was the plot of that oh god with Eugene Levy on the cover also Jared Padalecki
Starting point is 00:11:29 is in that movie and who is that to me he is he is Dean from Gilmore Girls he's Dean from Gilmore Girls so Gilmore Girls is a cultural blind spot
Starting point is 00:11:38 but it's not I don't engage I'm actually so passionate about this Dean isn't hot I don't think he's hot either but he is irrefutably in that movie. Okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Pass him. We can't take that from him. I had never seen this movie. Oh, wow. I have never seen any Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie. Wait, what? You're like the perfect, aren't you like the same age as them? I'm a month older than them.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Are you older than them? I am actually the third Olsen triplet. I just came out a month premature. Yeah, no, we're like almost the exact same age, but I don't know. I watched Full House when I was a kid, but I did not engage in any of their film work. Dual star productions. Dual star productions. Dual star productions. But yeah, so I hadn't seen this movie,
Starting point is 00:12:29 but I had seen The Parent Trap a million times as a kid. But The Parent Trap came out, at least the Lindsay Lohan one, came out three years after It Takes Two. So it's hard to tell how much The Parent Trap took from... But The Parent Trap was based on a previous... Right. So it's hard to say how much
Starting point is 00:12:46 it takes to pulled from the original Parent Trap from like the 60s what I think happened is they were like and I wasn't there
Starting point is 00:12:54 I wasn't in on these meetings but don't assume don't assume what I think happened is they were like this was like the height of MK&A
Starting point is 00:13:01 and they were like we need a vehicle for these young girls in theaters and they were like well what can we do they are twins they in theaters. And they were like, well, what can we do? They are twins. They got a Brooklyn accent and they got a sort of gently British accent.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Oh, the British accent comes and goes. I love it. The party daddy. She's just got good diction and that's British for her. But I think that like, they were just like wanting to do a 20 thing and then they were like,
Starting point is 00:13:23 well, we could do parent trap-ish stuff. And they're like, but then they just cut out anything that was like difficult plot wise like they're like let's not make them actual twin like let's just make them identical strangers and like i think they which i've seen that documentary three identical strangers and it turns out that they were triplets like they were biologically related it's so crazy that they're just like yeah they just happen to look exactly alike. I thought that was really funny. That was my favorite weird, confusing plot thing in this movie was that they look,
Starting point is 00:13:51 I rewound it to be like, wait a second, is there a moment where the parents are like, we're sisters and the thing comes together? No, Halle, we're twins. It's like, oh my God. And then they hug and it's so good. But also I love Kirstie's reaction when the butler comes and she finds out that they look exactly like. And she's just like, that's amazing.
Starting point is 00:14:12 It's like, is it amazing? I don't know. It's like, you're a social worker. It seems like you would be the person to be looking into this. Right. She's, you know, she's not particularly. I mean, I guess she's sort of good at her job. She spends a lot of her time at camp. She's not good at her job because she's trying know she's not particularly I mean I guess she's sort of good at her job she spends a lot of her time at camp
Starting point is 00:14:25 she's not good at her job because she's trying to adopt like what are the ethics of her trying to adopt only a single one of these kids that she is she's trying to adopt the one white one it's messed up it is I like that part though in Kirstie
Starting point is 00:14:42 I mean we can hit it in the there's a part where she's in this like stevie nicks black billowy thing she's walking through the woods she's like do i love steve gutenberg or not that was my favorite part her clothes are so big yeah so big there i feel like there's like this whole narrative with like kirstie alley's like body where like when she's in her 40s because she's in her 40s in this movie and there's like you know how like kirstie alley she was a representative for like jenny craig forever and like everyone gave her shit about her weight forever and i think this is around the time where that starts because the way she's
Starting point is 00:15:14 costumed is like kind of bizarre sometimes where she's like put in these like billowy boxy like you're you're not really supposed to be seeing her body i don't know i just found it weird about like a cinched waist on cheers like Cheers, like shoulder pads and cinched waist. And then, yeah, it was just the polar opposite direction. But I think that like, I don't know, there was like one scene where she was in like a high-waisted jean. Yes. Was that the food fight scene? No, because she's wearing like a really like oversized sweater.
Starting point is 00:15:43 She doesn't need to. Yeah. It's like she's a cutie. She's't need to. Yeah. It's like she's a cutie. She's at camp to have some fun. Why are you wearing so many sweaters at camp? It's summer.
Starting point is 00:15:51 It's summer. It's summer. It pisses me off. In movies where there's kids at camp, they're always wearing flannels. I'm like, it's hot. Take off your flannel.
Starting point is 00:15:59 They probably shot it in November. I know. But they're like, it's summer. Stop romanticizing flannel. Okay, so I'll do the recap really quickly of the story and then we'll get into the discussion okay so we have so much to discuss we meet this little girl named amanda she's a tomboy she's playing baseball hey i'm walking in and uh she lives at like an orphanage of sorts. And then Diane, which is Kirstie Alley's character, is trying to help find a family to adopt her.
Starting point is 00:16:30 So that's her exposition. But I think it's interesting that she has to interview. It's a job. She's like, you have to come to your interview for your parents. I'm just surprised they make orphans interview for that. I also like that Kirstie Alley, right off the bat, she leans out the window and immediately threatens one of the sweet little girls. She's like, I'm going to kill you if you don't get into the cat.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I said I would kill you if you wore a dress to play ball. And then the Brooklyn twin is like, which they live in the east side of Manhattan, they reveal. But they are like, what, I ain't going to hurt you or nothing. It's cool. She's scrappy. She's very scrappy. But, in direct contrast to scrappy Amanda, there's Alyssa Calloway,
Starting point is 00:17:16 who looks the exact same as Amanda, but she's a different person, and she's rich, and she plays the piano, and she gets off this private jet. She's sort of British even though her parent is not British. And she doesn't live in England. She has this weird like posh
Starting point is 00:17:32 like... She's got a lot of hats. I feel like her personality is a hat. And this is a classic Olsen twin device. It's like a brim hat with the front brim like bent up and a sunflower on it. The classic Olsen twins they also love the backwards baseball cap uh-huh depending on what their character choices
Starting point is 00:17:49 the olsen twins will always fall back on like two sisters that are polar like either one loves sports but one loves fashion one's more like a boy and one's more like a girl like well mary kate's always the sporty one right and then ash then Ashley's always the more femme. I never pay attention to who plays which part. Well, that's true. And you should be paying attention. I know. For some reason, that's very important to me. I miss the Olsen twins.
Starting point is 00:18:14 We were out there. We just had this conversation. I was Googling them frantically before this. We were like, how are they doing? Are they doing well? And I said, it's the kind of thing where it definitely seems like they're not doing well. But if you say that, if you ever say something about the Ol Lindemans, the other person's like, they're actually doing amazing. They're actually doing really well.
Starting point is 00:18:29 So what are you talking about? I'm like, okay, sorry. They have a bunch of fashion lines. I'm just curious. But that's what everyone says. They're like, well, they're doing fashion now. And then their other sister who looks also exactly like them. Elizabeth.
Starting point is 00:18:44 She was in that Aubrey Clausen movie. Yeah, and she's in like the Avengers movies. She's very talented. I watched a movie where she was, it was called Liberal Arts with Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen that movie. Okay, so back to the story. So there are these two girls who look identical, but you know, they come from different walks of life.
Starting point is 00:19:02 And then Alyssa meets meets she like meets up with her father who steve good yeah steve good does not show up to alissa's private jet very rude the butler shows up to the private jet right but there's no handshake like in parent right but it is a classic trope of like a butler kind of raising a child and i think like this whole movie makes me like if i'm ever rich god forbid I want to be like the kind of rich people are in like mid-90s movies where you for sure have like a house of like kind of like servants that are just like walking around with platters I said we need butlers we need platters we need um a circular driveway we need like a 95 limo an indoor pool an indoor pool
Starting point is 00:19:40 for sure I'm gonna get my I'm gonna get like legally married to like the bitchy woman who's like the stepmom and all these movies like i'm gonna have that wife for sure in this movie her name is clarice kensington clarice so alissa meets her and she's like who's this woman she's engaged to steve guttenberg's character but she doesn't know that yet how do i think they met oh yeah they do not say they definitely met like a fundraising event because she says this is where i feel like the it does a little better than the parent trap because she's like a she's supposed to be like a climbing socialite or whatever but then meredith and the parent trap has a job and is super successful
Starting point is 00:20:19 but it's just like trying to marry him anyways i I was like, but he seems like you're fine. Anyways, this lady. I mean, she's just kind of like, she's like a socialite cartoon, right? Something. These characters are never well developed. Oh my gosh, the beige shells. I do think she looks stunning in the engagement party scene.
Starting point is 00:20:39 She's wearing a green dress. And she has her like necklace and earrings are really nice. So I was like, how do romantic feelings towards her in that scene. I love when her playful Jewish friend comes up and I'm like, that's me. I did book that role. So Alyssa gets upset that Clarice is so mean.
Starting point is 00:20:58 And she finds out that she's getting married to her father. So she's like, i'm running away meanwhile amanda is going to summer camp on the same lake that this like giant estate where oh yeah elissa now lives and like steve gutenberg's dead wife started the camp yeah never learned her name we never learned anything except she of course died during childbirth i know the scene i did this because they were yelling over the cafeteria, and he's like, my wife died when Alyssa was born. And I was like, my daughter killed my wife. That scene is so wild, like the way that's delivered.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Because after he said, he's like, she died giving birth to Alyssa. And Kiersey Alley just like winces and is like, oh, sorry. And then they continue the fifth act. And the whole point of that is like for Kirstie Alley's character, Kirstie Alley in her head was like, oh, you're single. You're single. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:55 It was like a weird flirty moment. That's my favorite part of learning that someone's wife has been dead for 10 years. Perhaps they're single. Oh, gosh. Okay. years. Perhaps they're single. Oh gosh. Okay, so Amanda is with all of her camp friends and they dare her to ring the doorbell of this huge
Starting point is 00:22:11 house because they're like, it's haunted. So go ring the doorbell. So she does and then Vincenzo, the butler, opens the door and he sees Amanda and thinks it's Alyssa because again they are identical strangers. So he brings her inside. it's Alyssa because again they are identical strangers. So he brings her inside.
Starting point is 00:22:27 He's a mere butler. And then Diane finds Alyssa who had run away to like a hundred yards away. So she's like, hey Amanda. And then she brings Alyssa, thinking it's Amanda, back to the camp and there's a football game that makes Alyssa run back into the woods
Starting point is 00:22:46 just as Amanda is running away from the house. And then they bump into each other. They're two identical strangers again. Yes. So there's, like, an extra step that doesn't need to be there. They could have just, like. Yeah, but then I feel like the movie seemed like it ended really soon. I was like, oh, they had to stretch this out.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Yeah. So they decide to switch places. And. So they decide to switch places. And why do they decide to switch places? So Amanda is going to pretend to be Alyssa because she's so good at scaring off parents because she's an orphan and no one wants to adopt her. Got it. But then it's not clear why Alyssa wants to go to the camp and pretend to be Amanda. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:24 I think it's kind of like a grass is always greener situation because they did set up a lot like neither of them are like happy in their lives and like right one is always like i wanted that the grass is much greener but i think that they were both like like the one wanted like parents and the other one was like oh my god it took me really lonely to be rich it's like what's it like to have friends so when they reunite the next day amanda is like clarice is gone but only for a week and then alissa's like shit like too bad diane can't be my mom because they had like bonded with each other so they get the idea yeah and all of her sweaters diane's like the chessie of this yeah she is for sure i like the
Starting point is 00:24:03 chessie gets to really shine and gets to be the romantic interest. Totally. Finally. Right. Mid-40s romantic lead. Jesus Christ. Come through, Quine. Yeah, she's really important.
Starting point is 00:24:14 So then they get the idea to have Diane try to meet Steve Guttenberg in the hopes that they will fall in love. So they orchestrate this whole horse riding encounter. And Steve Guttenberg's horse outfit is off the charts. His equestrian wear. The gloves. Don't forget the moment where he is riding with one of the girls. I don't remember which one it is.
Starting point is 00:24:39 But he says something like, I don't know, he asks her a question and then she responds with, are you asking me an equestrian? It's meant to be a play on words. Oh. But it's. They don't have the chops to deliver that. Why would she do that? I guess it's an attempt at a joke.
Starting point is 00:24:58 He did look so hot in his like riding outfit when he was chasing down the horse. I was like, cool. I think this movie is actually really cool. So Diane and Steve Guttenberg's character, do we know his name? Roger. Roger Calloway.
Starting point is 00:25:16 He's actually in the script. It just says Steve Guttenberg's character. So Diane and Roger meet. In their 40s. Do you, Steve Guttenberg's character, take Clarissa to be your lovely, butted wife? Steve Guttenberg also has seven years younger than Kirstie Alley.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Oh. Radical? I love that. Perhaps. This movie is political. Okay, so Roger and Diane, they meet, and the sparks are flying.
Starting point is 00:25:44 They are very interested in each other. They're all revved up from riding those fucking horses. okay so so Roger and Diane they meet and the sparks are flying they are very interested in each other they're all revved up from riding those fucking horses I know there's one scene
Starting point is 00:25:50 where Kirstie's riding the horse she's coming she is coming so hard she has like 18 orgasms she's bouncing harder
Starting point is 00:25:58 than I've ever seen someone bounce yeah there's like a lot of there's like a lot of chemistry between them too I was like because usually with these movies
Starting point is 00:26:09 you're just like yeah no way but I was like man I would watch that I want to see it oh my god I'm so horny lately so then they hang out at camp a little bit there's this big food fight they almost kiss but then they get interrupted as it happens, because they can't kiss until the end. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:26:29 But no, isn't that scene interrupted by the butler's golden telescope? Well, yeah. The canoes fall over because that's where the two girls are hiding. But Vincenzo is actively spying on him. In his golden telescope. Yeah, but then he leaves the room, and then Clarice comes back, like, way early and then looks into the telescope and sees them flirting,
Starting point is 00:26:52 so then she's like, fuck, I've got to bump off to my wedding. We missed that. The golden telescope is my new favorite plot device. I want it to be in every movie, because that cuts off him watching through the golden telescope. I, like, panicked in my house, because he's saying, as off him watching through the Golden Telescope. I panicked in my house. Because he's saying, as he's watching through the telescope at Kirstie Alley and Steve Guttenberg, flirting a whole lake away. So it's a nice telescope.
Starting point is 00:27:16 They're very wealthy. And he goes, hmm, hmm, hmm. That's more like it. And then he turns and then she looks in the telescope and then she sees yeah so that's why she's like i gotta bump up this wedding gotta trap this man asap and then she's trying to send amanda who she thinks is alissa away to boarding school and while that's all happening alissa who the camp people think is amanda is being adopted by that lame couple from the beginning who basically just like put her to work into a junkyard.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Which is like I thought that was like unnecessarily like real. They're just like, oh, yeah. And let's also like shed some light on the harsh adoptive practices. And I was like, this is not the movie to be tackled. But it's like a bunch of kids and like they're working in a scrapyard. Yeah. And Kirstie comes and she's like, I'm going to report you to social services after I get my man. And she leaves all the kids there to do work. And leaves all the kids.
Starting point is 00:28:13 And they made the kids seem so mean and on the adoptive father's side. And they're just like, you think you're rich? You fucking idiot. And the rich kid is saved and all the poor kids stuck in the adoptive system are left to rot. It's like, wow, a really inspiring message. Good job, Kirstie. But then, yeah, Diane goes to rescue Alyssa. And then meanwhile, Amanda's stalling the wedding.
Starting point is 00:28:37 And then the two of them are there because it takes two, baby, to stop the wedding, which works. And then Roger ends up with Diane. And then they finally get to kiss. And then I guess they're all together as a family because Diane adopts Amanda. Is that what happens? She leaves her job to live at the mansion. It also was a line in the beginning of the movie where the poor one was like, why don't you just adopt me, Diane? And Diane was like, but you know that they won't let me adopt you because of my salary.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Plus, I don't have a husband. Whoa. Okay. I did not catch that. Yeah. That is like one of the wilder, more 1995 points that comes up multiple points in the movie. And there's even one point where she's trying to adopt Amanda. And then they're like, they laughed at me because I don't have a husband.
Starting point is 00:29:24 And you're just like this is and then you're and then I'm like maybe I know she likes Steve Guttenberg but he could be a means to an end to get her to be able
Starting point is 00:29:31 to adopt this kid because yeah I think that was also a point was like now we could be a family because I have a husband who's rich and they'll let me adopt you
Starting point is 00:29:36 so bleak well let's talk more about that right after we take this break oh Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese we take this break. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017
Starting point is 00:29:52 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
Starting point is 00:30:17 And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
Starting point is 00:30:45 The one, the only, Katherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation
Starting point is 00:30:54 that's as hilarious as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture. I feel some Sandra Bernhard in you.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Oh, my God. I would love it. I have to watch Lost. Oh, you have to. No, I know. I'm so behind. Katherine Hanken's thing. Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
Starting point is 00:31:16 What's your song? Yeah, what's your song? Oh, I love a ballad. I felt Bjork's music. I just was like, who is this person? I got to hawk this slalom, Ludi. I'm not hawk the slalom. I absolutely love it.
Starting point is 00:31:34 It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it. It was somehow gorgeous. Yee, my slok, you hollum. Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Do you guys have anyone you can set me up with while I'm here? They're in Los Angeles? Yeah, I want to follow up. Are you trying to adopt a child and you need a
Starting point is 00:32:29 husband? Yeah, if you have a 10-year-old you're trying to adopt, we know a number of very wealthy Gutenberg types that we'd love to set you up with. My other favorite line in the movie was when Kirstie was like, wow, you're so rich. You must be amazing. And the guy's like, it was just dumb
Starting point is 00:32:45 luck getting rich i only invented cell phones is that what he says he invented that's like a brilliant and like kind of society changing invention that you created but i did see that i'm like oh he's humble like i kind of he's like i stole the idea from star trek and now i'm a billionaire um star trek invented cell phones. The main character in the movie for me was Alyssa's canopy bed. That's the bed I have always wanted and still want. Yes. But also my favorite part of the movie was when they stop the wedding
Starting point is 00:33:14 and like Clarice is mortified and she goes to hit in front of a church of thousands of people. She goes to hit the kid and then like Butler's like, if you hit that kid, I'll punch you. Yeah, he's like, I will beat the shit out of you and then we're and then we're like wow butler like go off incredible and then she walks down the aisle and threatens to hit the second kid and kirstie ellie says back off barbie right right me and my friend thought that's the funniest line of
Starting point is 00:33:40 all times we like we watch online so many times and she's like, I've never been more humiliated in my life. And then one of the kids goes, wanna bet? And then rips her skirt off. It was just so unnecessary. So she has to run away with her underwear exposed. I mean, like,
Starting point is 00:33:55 we don't, I mean. You do feel bad for her when she has some. Sure, sure. When he says no. I love the idea of just anytime you're humiliating, humiliated, yelling, I've never been this humiliated in my entire life at the top of your lungs.
Starting point is 00:34:09 So to go back to what we were touching on a little bit ago is like there's this idea that's in this movie. It's in the Lindsay Lohan parent trap. But it's this idea that like a kid needs a mother and a father. Yeah, it's very nuclear unit. They need a mother, a father, and one gay butler who's canonically straight. Asexual butler. Because like Amanda wants Diane to adopt her. And like Diane, again, the ethics of this is crazy when she's like, yeah, I want to adopt you too.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Yes, I run an orphanage full of many other children who need adopted but you're the one that i like the best and then once she continues living in the orphanage like right yeah i was confused i mean it's just like very like all these movies are so like they're like well a single parent could not possibly do this so like well you know you have to do like a series of hijinks and throw steve guttenberg in a river and hope he falls in love. And like there has to be a food fight so that you can have your straight parents in a golden telescope, which I do. Yeah, I do want that, too. Because at one point, the dad, the Steve Guttenberg character.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Guttenberg. Oh, God. Oh, no. I'm falling apart. You're starting to sound like catherine's exactly similar he says to eliza he's like clarice and i are getting married you're gonna finally have a real family she's gonna be your new mother so it's like you know there's no such thing as real family unless there's a hetero mom and a hetero dad they're married together and then diane earlier than that even says to amanda you deserve a mother and a father and then amanda's like so get a husband and she's like i don't know how i haven't met
Starting point is 00:35:56 steve goodenberg yet it's not like buying a car she says and i said hmm have you checked out carmax on tinder so yeah i mean like i think we talked a little bit because we've done a bonus episode I said, hmm, have you checked out CarMax on YouTube, Tinder? So, yeah, I mean, like, I think we talked a little bit, because we've done a bonus episode on the Lindsay Lohan parent trap. Oh, wow, how was that? We had this discussion a little bit. But, yeah, it's like these, like, children's movies are perpetuating this, like, heteronormative nuclear family unit that has to exist or else, like, it's not a quote real family and or
Starting point is 00:36:28 that there's like something missing or that you should be yeah right yeah yeah it's just very that was the 90s yeah like there's i can't think of any movie that like really in the 90s that would like challenge this at all but it is weird that there was like a trend of movies that it was like people striving for a nuclear unit at all costs. And there's always like a rich blonde lady who gets, I personally, she gets gum in her hair in this one but I prefer the lizard
Starting point is 00:36:54 in the mouth. Oh, that's such a good scene. The nuclear, yeah, I was also thinking of like Mrs. Doubtfire and like the 90s were about having two parents they were about ruffles with onion dip they were about bucket hats with a big sunflower. They were about twins. They were about ruffles with onion dip. They were about bucket hats with a big sunflower. They were about twins. They were about twins.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Yes. Right down to the Coors Light commercials. And now there's more twins than ever. And then all the Doublemint commercials. There's more twins now. Who are the big twins right now? Sprouse is still. In the 90s, we had Tia Tamara.
Starting point is 00:37:18 We had the Olsons. We had Lindsay Lohan and her kind of Lindsay Lohan. Both Lindsay Lohan. Who were their boy twins? Zack and Cody. Yeah. That was the 90s. Were there other boy twins?
Starting point is 00:37:30 Who were the kids who played Ross's son in Friends? Those were the Sprouse twins, right? So we're once again hitting on the Sprouses, the Zack and Codys, the Rosses kids. They're all two people. They're all just two people. Oh, God. Did y'all want a twin when you were growing up? Kind of.
Starting point is 00:37:48 I really wanted a twin. I was dying for a twin. I was dead for a twin. Absolutely slaughtered for a twin. The media representation. Okay, well, this leads me to my next point. I would have killed my brother if it meant I would have gotten a twin. Cool.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Because the media representation of twins made it seem so cool and so fun because they always go on these hij-jinks adventures together. I don't think that's necessarily a negative media trope. It was just a weirdly prominent thing. There was twins on The Bachelor a few years ago. But one of the main, the big thing I noticed about this movie, here's my main problem with it. Because it's... Is it the child acting?
Starting point is 00:38:20 Well, that is a very big thing. Very. child acting it's well that is a very big thing so it's a movie starring two little girls and yet it still has to end in a hetero adult wedding because i was thinking about like okay think about movies that star mostly little boys you know you've got your goonies you've got your sandlots mighty ducks any like little boy sports movie basically and then like stand by me it's like boys getting to go on adventures and like having a a ragtag time but movies that star little girls the trend is well i i can't even think of that many aside from like this whole slew of mary kate i think but harriet the spy oh harriet the spy matilda but like as far as like an ensemble cast of like a bunch of little girls, like I can't
Starting point is 00:39:06 think of hardly any of those movies. Let me tell you this. I'll never forget flipping on my TV and seeing Now and Then and my mind being completely blown. No, no Now and Then. Oh my God. No, not either. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:39:17 You know Now and Then? Oh yeah, I've seen it. Being like, I've never seen anything like this. I can't believe there are these little girls talking about like wanting boobs and like flirting and boys. It was the most – I was like, why aren't there more – I've never seen anything like this in my life. There's nothing like that. But yeah, the point is there's no – there's so few movies about little girls just being little girls.
Starting point is 00:39:37 And if there is a movie where there are a couple girls, it's usually about them orchestrating this like crazy love story for adults. Yeah. I think there are some exceptions to that rule, but it was, I mean, just like the whole wedding aspect of this seems like, I don't know, there was a more fun movie where that wasn't so prominent.
Starting point is 00:39:58 As much as I love an extended stop the wedding sequence. Totally. And they really go for it here. There's horses, there's helicopters, there's abandoned adopted children. this one's got it all but going back really quickly to like how movies that feature like little boys versus movies that feature little girls like guess what i never did as a little girl i never tried to get two adults to fuck. I'm trying to think if I have a counterpoint.
Starting point is 00:40:26 What I did do is I went to school. I played soccer. I played on jungle gyms. I was in Girl Scouts. I climbed trees. I did all the stuff that you see little boys get to do in movies. I feel like I did want, I think that it was as a result of watching movies like this where I'm like oh who are two adults in my life who I could try to convince to fall but it
Starting point is 00:40:47 was a direct result of like I didn't come up with that on my own any more than like I came up with like wanting to play Harriet the spy on my own or like wanting to play like any movie starring a little girl just became a game of like we're just playing that we're just reenacting it because I you know I'm an
Starting point is 00:41:04 admin kid I'm done. Well that's the other thing about like all these movies that are targeted that have like big theatrical releases that are targeted to little girls they're usually about like teens or adults falling in love like if we're looking at like the movies like when i was growing up or were like the disney renaissance movies where you've got you know your beauty and the beasts and aladdin's and little mermaids. And it's like all these movies about romance. And then the movies targeted towards little boys, you know, they're like adventures and they're going to,
Starting point is 00:41:32 they're going to go find a dead body or they're going to go find the treasure. They got a sandlot. They're going to go find a sandlot. That's what that movie's about, right? Yeah. So I just like, I hate that. And we say this all the time, but movies that are targeted toward children have to be especially careful with their content and their messages and all that stuff. Because, you know, their brains are little sponges and they just like take whatever they see as like absolute truth so i mean it's no wonder that like at least like my generation of like
Starting point is 00:42:05 kids growing up into the adults we are now being fed the movies that we were made me all fucked up yeah i'm so boy crazy oh my god i'm exhausted that's all i think about everyone was telling you i don't know yeah fortunately this movie was not particularly successful. It did not, which I think is maybe why The Parent Trap was so comfortable lifting so much material from it. It did not do very well in theaters, which is why Mary-Kate and Ashley were trapped on television for the next 10 years. I didn't realize it didn't do well.
Starting point is 00:42:40 I think I would have assumed it did. No, it only made like 18 million bucks. Really? Nothing. So to me, that's a lot. Some people, that's a lot of money. For some people, in some situations, 18 million. I'm just wondering how to get a T-Sum.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Well, when you fucking invent a cell phone, that's like pocket change. Truly, truly. I love that you invented a cell phone. I do want to draw some of the comparisons between both It Takes Two and The Parent Trap. And let's throw the Princess Switch in there, too, because that's basically also the same exact movie. I'm sad that I haven't seen that. Who was in that? You would love it.
Starting point is 00:43:11 It was two Vanessa Hudgens. I was supposed to watch it with my lover who broke up with me after asking me to be his girlfriend four days before. Oh. Sorry, just to make this about me. We have to sidebar. Can't stop talking about that. We did another Matreon bonus episode about that movie. We did.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Everyone should sign up for our Matreon and listen to it. Anyway, okay, so the parallels. We've got summer camp being a huge plot point. We've got a dad living in a huge house in the countryside. We've got butlers. The one who is posh has a butler friend of the two girls. We've got an evil stepmother lady who is blonde and mean and then the parallels between it takes two and the princess which are that one of them
Starting point is 00:43:52 can play the piano and one of them can't and the one who can't play piano is forced into a situation where she has to play the piano and the same thing with horse riding where one of them knows how to horse ride the other one doesn't what girlish hobbies piano horses yeah totally yeah um but i mean i guess at least amanda plays like football and baseball yeah she plays stickball okay do you remember the stylist character who i think is in like one scene he's like i said that I was like, Hey, this movie won a glad award for representation. You're like very standard queer coded stylist character that you see in like
Starting point is 00:44:33 all of these movies. He said something like, I'm a hairdresser, not a zookeeper. Yeah. Which is hilarious. He's no Paolo Puttanesca, but he'll do the one moment where I felt
Starting point is 00:44:46 I mean I feel bad for any of these stepmother characters that don't exist in real life just because they're so like cartoony and silly but when they do make the choice to bring in her father who negs the fuck out of her the second she's about to walk he's like wow my first daughter is also the last to get married
Starting point is 00:45:03 interesting and then just slides out of frame. You're like, what? And who is that for? What was all of those evil stepmother characters in these movies are so underwritten and so poorly developed that it's like, why? I thought it was weird that the only part of her
Starting point is 00:45:20 they chose to develop was like, oh, but don't worry. She has severe daddy issues, apparently. Lucky for you. It's like, interesting. We gotta take another quick oh, but don't worry, she has severe daddy issues. We're lucky for you. We got to take another quick break, but we'll be right back. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
Starting point is 00:46:06 And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you.
Starting point is 00:46:31 You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well, this week we're taking it to the next level. The one, the only, Katherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture. I feel some Sandra Bernhardt in you.
Starting point is 00:46:51 Oh my god. I would love it. I have to watch Lost. Oh, you have to. No, I know. I'm so behind. Katherine Hanken's thing. Oh, I'm really good at karaoke. What's your song?
Starting point is 00:47:06 Yeah, what's your song? Oh, I love a ballad. I felt Bjork's music. I just was like, who is this person? I got to hawk this slalom,
Starting point is 00:47:19 Luge. I'm not going to hawk this slalom. I absolutely love it. It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it. It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it. It was somehow gorgeous. Yee, my flock, you hollum. Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network
Starting point is 00:47:32 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap, and the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealalonfentanyl.com.
Starting point is 00:48:07 This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. And we're back. Yes. I talk yes. Also, on the child acting, this movie made me actually really appreciate
Starting point is 00:48:15 the talent of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen because they were the only hot take. They were literally the only kids in the movie that were even slightly off book. Like, every other kid
Starting point is 00:48:23 was, like, truly reading cue cards. The thing that, that like legitimately bothered me about this movie as much as it's like we've talked about like the wedding movies ending in a wedding is you know exhausted and in 95 is probably like peak even though it still happens but the way adoption was like made to look in this movie really bugged me. But I think it's because I grew up around a lot of kids who were adopted or were in the system. And the way that, I don't know, just this movie makes it look so goofy and almost like it's the kid's fault. Especially in the junkyard situation where all the kids that are not like this wealthy little girl
Starting point is 00:49:06 and like Steve Guttenberg's like daughter are made to seem like antagonistic and mean and like asking for it that they're being treated so horribly. And all the orphan like at the orphanage is a little different. But that's like not even how the adoption system works anymore. Like why are we still being like, oh, the New York City orphanage? Like that's not how the systems were i don't know it just bugged me even with the olsen it's like if you could only just wear a dress like you would be adopted but you can't seem right you're presenting
Starting point is 00:49:34 is too tomboyish so that's why no one likes you and there's also no like arc where it's like oh like she can actually be herself and get adopted it It's like, no, you actually couldn't have, but thank God for you. I'm marrying a rich guy and now you don't need to be adopted. Right. Yeah, I don't know. That was the one thing that really did. I was just like, oh, that's irresponsible. And there was a way to write that storyline
Starting point is 00:49:57 that didn't need to be that way, but it was just, yeah, I don't know. Does anyone have any other thoughts about the movie, The Masterpiece? It takes two. It takes two. What do you think? Wait, I think we need to talk a little bit more about what the Olsen twins mean to us.
Starting point is 00:50:12 I suppose the Olsen twins don't mean that much to me. They just weren't a part of my media consumption as a kid. Who are your mango twos? When I was this age, I was watching back to the future every day of my life i never saw it oh my god yeah i was like i was watching those problematic 80s movies that were like a little too old for me to be watching i was like back to the future and like indiana jones were my go-to's so i was watching these like boy-centric movies because i didn't like what was available i mean and then like also all those disney movies movies because I didn't like what was available.
Starting point is 00:50:50 I mean, and then like also all those Disney movies, but I just didn't like a lot of what was available to me. Like the like girly movies, I suppose, which probably because they were all about like, hey, let's make sure these adults fuck. And that's my main goal. Like, why couldn't there have been a movie about two girls who meet each other whether or not they look exactly like or not like whatever but it helps if can it not be about something like why does it automatically have to be about like trying to get a romance to happen because it's like well they're too young to try to find boys themselves but that's not also not to be fair that's not every mary-kate and ashley's not every Mary-Kate and Ashley joint. Sure. They do a lot of different,
Starting point is 00:51:26 they do variation on like three different plots. Yeah. So sometimes they're trying to find apparent love, other times they're like solving a mystery, like they do a lot of stuff.
Starting point is 00:51:35 But they always have a love interest in their films. Yes, yeah. And I mean, I guess there is, I mean, even in like
Starting point is 00:51:40 Passport to Paris, it's like, yeah, they get boyfriends. That's their first on-screen kiss. Oh my, wait, so Passport to Paris was the. That's their first on-screen kiss. Oh my, wait,
Starting point is 00:51:45 so Passport to Paris was the Olsen twins' first on-screen kiss. How old were they? They were 11. Oh, that is quite young. I could be wrong,
Starting point is 00:51:52 but this is what my brain's telling me. And there's a scene where one of the French guys, maybe this is why I keep getting addicted to people who don't live in the same country as me, but one of the guys, like she meets him
Starting point is 00:52:01 and then he's imitating her and he goes, oh my God, oh my god. Remember that part? Oh. I feel completely unsupported. They're 12 in that movie.
Starting point is 00:52:09 That's wild. Whoa. It's 12. I remember that so clearly. We also need to talk about that cultural moment where it was 2004 and there was online and there was websites where you could go to see a countdown clock. Oh, yes. Sometimes we're 18 so you can fuck them.
Starting point is 00:52:23 My older cousin was all about that clock oh my god he was so into the clock I hate that it was disgusting anyone who's into that clock is gay I hate that
Starting point is 00:52:34 having so much respect for your cousin and his wife and they're two beautiful twin girls but that's a big problem but also he's like tortured inside
Starting point is 00:52:41 and it's too bad where is he now and is he single he's bald and in Massachusetts and married can i just say one thing about the countdown of like the olsen twins turning 18 like there's this huge problem that's happening right now and probably has been happening since the dawn of time where like men in whatever capacity and industry and all that are like grooming underage girls oh that's always been a problem
Starting point is 00:53:06 to like whenever they become legal and turn 18 so they're like ready to trap them basically but it's like one word Brittany that's happening right now I forget her name but the actress who plays Eleven on Stranger Things
Starting point is 00:53:24 oh Millie Bobby Brown. Yeah. Oh, she's majorly getting that treatment. She's 13, but let's start to get her sexy now. It makes me puke. And the only boy I can think of that received that treatment was Justin Bieber. I do remember there being a clock element
Starting point is 00:53:40 to the Justin Bieber canon. Yes. Anyway. Hey, does this movie pass the Bechdel test? Yes. Oh, it does. It does. Amanda and Alyssa talk to each other a lot.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Amanda and Diane talk about finding her a new family. Alyssa and Clarice talk to each other a bit. Yeah, there's a lot of different combos and situations. So that's it. It's a feminist text. It's a feminist text. You betcha. Actually, while we were watching, Pat turns to me and goes, I think this movie is good for women. What moment?
Starting point is 00:54:13 That was early on. I think it was because one of them played baseball. Yeah, if a girl plays baseball in a movie, it is good for women. It is good for women, yeah. And all of its flaws must be forgiven immediately. I like it. Well, let's rate the movie. Speaking of deciding if it's good for women. It is good for women, yeah. And all of its flaws must be forgiven immediately. Yeah. I like it. Well, let's rate the movie. Speaking of deciding if it's good for women or not,
Starting point is 00:54:30 rate it on our nipple scale. Zero to five nipples based on its portrayal and representation of women. I don't know. It's so hard with these kids' movies that have to be – well, they don't have to be but of this era they're so cartoonish that it's kind of hard to even evaluate them
Starting point is 00:54:51 for anything because they're so cartoony and they're so goofy but you're saying you think that they should be held to a higher standard for this I do
Starting point is 00:54:57 because kids movies these days yeah so many of these movies from this era they don't have to be shitty for a woman just because they're for kids they were condescending
Starting point is 00:55:03 to the kids I disagree with that and they help perpetuate these like what end up so many of these movies from this era. It's like they don't have to be shitty for women just because they're for kids. They were condescending to the kids. I disagree, Pat. And they helped perpetuate these, like, what end up being harmful ideas that, like, a kid needs a mother and a father if they're going to turn out okay. Yeah, this movie was bad for gays. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:55:18 I forget about it. Almost every movie is bad for queer people. The movie was good for brunettes. It was good for brunettes it was good for brunettes yeah I would give it two out of five nipples but women over 40
Starting point is 00:55:27 actually no because they have to get married or they can't have a child that's actually horrible bad for them yeah good for queer reality I would give it
Starting point is 00:55:35 two out of five nipples I think that's where I would give it is five nipples really feminist really good extremely it's like Moana level
Starting point is 00:55:42 oh wow I don't watch kids movies because they are boring to me. I watch them. Paddington is my favorite movie. People are all hyped up on that. I guess I'll watch it. I can't watch anything really because I have anxiety and I start thinking about myself too much.
Starting point is 00:55:56 It's actually a disease. I guess two nips or even one nip. It's not helpful. It's not helpful. Yeah. nips or even one nip it's like it's not helpful it's not helpful yeah it's i mean it's good i guess it's good for like little girls who can be like oh look they're like you know doing a thing but i mean i think it's the end of the day i'm gonna do yeah i'll do like even one it sucks because it's like you know i guess if we're breaking it down like women are on screen the majority of the time but like there's it's just like it's so 90s in its like ideology
Starting point is 00:56:25 and what it's pushing like i wouldn't show this movie to a kid no uh it seems counterproductive right yeah i think i'm gonna give it one one nipple right because it's like no little girl has ever done this to the to the extent where they're like fucking riding horses and like trying like orchestrating these like very complicated meet-cutes like that's not anything a little girl does but because like at least two movies are about this yeah and one is way better the other is like a masterpiece and the other this one is boring yeah the other thing we need to address is that they they she has this refrain of i want that can't eat can't sleep knock it out of the park and that is the most damaging thing a little girl can hear because
Starting point is 00:57:03 you think if someone treats you bad and makes you feel bad, then they're the love of your life and you must chase after them. And the pining of them is what is romantic. And that has actually ruined my life. So excuse me while I levitate off my chair and go through the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:57:19 I also want to say that it's crazy that we both remember the food fight scene, but neither of us remember that Kirstie Alley's character starts the food fight. Yes. I'm like, this is your camp? No one's talking about that. This is your camp.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I'm taking this to Twitter. It's honestly progressive. Yeah. Yeah. That she starts it? No, she's fucking up her own camp. No, someone's going to have to clean it. Someone she pays is going to have to clean the food.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Yeah. Or she will have to do it because she's a woman. It's like Fyre Fest. You need to think of the employees. Oh my God. This movie is my Fyre Fest. Well, thanks to the both of you for being here. Thank you guys so much for coming.
Starting point is 00:57:50 So fun. Plug stuff. Just follow me on Soj at Kat C. Cohen. C-A-T-C-C-O-H-N. And follow me on Soj actually too. If you're going to follow Catherine on Soj. And I'm, this is so weird and so twisted. But it's different on Twitter and Insta. No no i'm trying to say ig not insta because that's what the kids are doing
Starting point is 00:58:10 ig yeah i've offered i um but um on ig i'm pat reeks p-a-t-r-e-e-g-s and on twitter i'm p-o reagan p-o-r-e-g-N. And more importantly, please like, subscribe, rate, review our podcast called Seek Treatment. It's a podcast about boys, sex, fucking, dating, and love. So definitely kind of like this podcast's enemy. It's so good, though.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Oh, thank you. Thank you guys for having us. Thank you. Yeah, speaking of, you know, podcasts, you can follow ours on social media at Bechtelcast. On pretty much everything. You can sign up for our Patreon, five bucks a month gets you two extra episodes.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Patreon.com slash Bechtelcast. And buy our merch. Yeah, on TeePublic. Check out all the stuff. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you, guys. See ya. Bye. Bye. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated.
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