The Bechdel Cast - Miss Congeniality
Episode Date: November 29, 2018Jamie and Caitlin SING Miss Congeniality's praises (and discuss its problems) during this live episode recorded in Washington DC!(This episode contains spoilers)For Bechdel bonuses, sign up for our Pa...treon at patreon.com/bechdelcast.Follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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On the Bechdelcast, the questions asked if movies have women in them.
Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism?
The patriarchy's effin' vast.
Start changing it with the Bechdel cast.
Hey, DC, what's up?
Thanks for being here.
What's up?
Hey, I'm Caitlin.
I'm Jamie.
Thanks for coming to the Bechdel cast.
Yeah, and so right at the top, for listeners at home, we are in Washington, D.C.,
and we are at an intimate gathering at Emissary in D.C.
Has everyone that wanted a nipple jello shot had one?
They're making their way around.
They're right in front of him.
God.
God. they're right typical man they're right in front of him god so I mean
we've really
to set the scene
we've got a spread
we've got
jello shots
of nipples
of various sizes
we've got
a lot of nipple representation
in the jello shots
I'm gonna pick up
a particularly large one here
it's good
and then
if you guys need a drink at any point
in the show the five nips and the free bush are available at the bar
so thank you emissary for making us these specialty cocktails uh they're delicious
they're really really good and thanks for having us. That'll pass the Bechdel test. It did.
It's hard at the live episodes because it's like they know what it's about.
Right.
But we still have to say it. We still have to say it.
Just housekeeping.
So we talk about the portrayal of women in movies.
We use the Bechdel test as a jumping off point.
Which is a test developed by cartoonist and writer Alison Bechdel
that requires any piece of media
have two female identifying characters
with names
speak to each other
about something other than a man
for more than two lines of dialogue.
You'd think it would be possible
for every movie to do this,
but if you were at
our Nightmare Before Christmas episode
just now,
you'll know that
Tim Burton can't do it.
Cannot do it. Some people can. It's hard. Yeah. It's not hard, but it's not hard. It's so easy.
We have been talking for minutes. I haven't. I brought up Tim Burton and that's on me. Oops.
That thing that I said I would never do, I did it. So we're talking about Miss Congeniality today.
Yes.
Clap if you have seen Miss Congeniality.
Yeah.
And no shame, no judgment.
Clap if you have not seen Miss Congeniality.
One bartender in the back.
Not bad.
Everyone did their homework.
Everyone.
I love when everyone does their homework everyone i love when everyone
does their homework it's very exciting yeah um also this is a modern classic and there's no
excuse so miss congeniality is spoiler alert always been one of my favorite movies really
okay so let's so as you might have noticed we don't have a guest because this is this is just
us baby it's an intimate gathering so what's your history I
love this movie I'm pretty sure I didn't see I was too young to see it in theaters brag
but I did my my cousin Tammy is here and we have for sure watched this movie together
nine million times there are various VHSs of it circulating throughout the family and the world. Yeah, it was just like one of my
still the only
form of self-defense I know is
sing.
From Miss Congeniality, I like memorized it.
I was like, oh, this is useful. I don't know if I could
actually execute it.
But yeah, no, I loved it.
What is a solar input? Whatever.
Grow up! No, I'm kidding. I have no idea.
Solar plexus? Solar plexus. Grow up! No, I'm kidding. I have no idea. Solar plexus?
Solar plexus.
It's the gut?
Tammy's a black belt also.
Wow.
Yeah, she's like a triple black belt.
I encourage everyone to fight my cousin after the show.
She'll win.
But yeah, it's always been one of my favorites.
I think I first saw it either
with my mom my cousins or both but i watch it at least once a year wow okay i love it so much
great i haven't seen this movie much sorry i didn't grow up with it probably only saw it for
the first time a few years ago and uh enjoyed it i watched it here's why i watched it uh because i i don't
know if you know this or not but i did get a master's degree in screenwriting from boston
university i hate to bring it up but um i wrote a script with a similarish premise um my script was
about a woman who takes improv classes so that she can learn how to go undercover as an FBI agent.
Very cool story.
I agree.
How did that not make it to the big screen?
I don't know.
Anyway, so that was like the script I was writing.
And I watched this movie as research.
Oh, okay.
So this would have been in like 2013 or something like that that i saw this for
the first time oh okay okay so we came in at very different points yeah a late miss congeniality
bloomer it's okay you got there that's all that counts yeah uh there's okay something that i
suspect will be polarizing not as polarizing as dry scabs wet scabs but maybe close
is miss congeniality was the first movie I saw Michael Caine in.
Hmm.
Right.
Caitlin first saw Michael Caine in Muppets Christmas Carol.
Yeah, lots of nods.
I have a feeling that maybe there's some Batman people in there as well.
I'm sure he's been in other movies.
But that's all. So, wait, okay. So, clap he's been in other movies. But that's...
So, wait. Okay. So,
clap, clap your little paws together
if Miss Congeniality was your first
Kane. Okay,
we got a few. If Muppets was your first Kane.
If
Batman was your first Kane?
Yeah, we're adults here.
You're right. How about the movie...
Is it Elfie?ie from this is a real thing
that michael cain was in again i have a master's degree it was from like the 70s or something so
coming in with slightly different backgrounds but uh so shall i do the recap let's do it okay so Miss Congeniality we meet Gracie Hart she's an FBI agent uh she's a
little rough around the edges but wait we meet her when she's a kid first oh that's true yes
she punches two boys in one scene great moment in cinema it's great I like that scene a lot because
I don't know I thought it was like there there's a boy that is about to get beat up
because he's being a quote-unquote like sissy and like he sucks and then gracie comes to his rescue
by punching out the bully and then she approaches the boy she saved and she's like hey i think you're
great she has a little bit of a crush on him and then he rejects her and is like now I look even stupider because I needed a girl to
rescue me and then she punches him out I feel this is a very like realistic depiction of how
a young boy would react in that situation oh definitely and I wish that I could punch
I found that seemed very cathartic and good my My only problem with it is when he's like, you're a girl.
And she's like, well, you're a girl.
Using girl as an insult, basically.
But other than that, yeah, perfect scene.
No notes.
Perfect.
So then we meet her as an adult.
She's got a middle part, guys.
She's in bad shape.
The movie would have you believe.
Right.
Middle.
There's nothing wrong with them.
But for some reason, that is like code for like, yikes.
She's got a middle part and she doesn't pluck.
So she is undercover with the FBI.
She's a field agent.
But, you know, she's got frizzy hair, so she's not hot yet.
And she
and her crew are looking for
a serial killer named The
Citizen. They figure out that The
Citizen is planning to target
the Miss United States
pageant, so they're like,
hey, we better send someone undercover
to, like, scope this out.
Then there's a very sinister scene using hacker technology.
That is just, hacker technology is often misapplied.
And speaking on behalf of my community, I apologize.
Where they do, they're looking for the right agent,
which just means that they're looking at pictures of their coworkers in bikinis.
And everyone is like, tee hee hee, we love this.
And then, oh, what if we put our boss in a bikini?
And then, oh, wait, he's right behind me.
And we're laughing and we're laughing.
But we're troubled in the year 2018.
It's not good. We can unpack troubled in the year 2018. Yeah.
It's not good.
We can unpack that scene in a moment.
There's a lot, yeah.
So the agent that they end up selecting to go undercover to participate in the Miss United States pageant.
Sandra Bullock.
Wow. Sandra Bullock.
I don't want to hunk it.
Turns out she's hot.
And her colleague Matthews played by.jamin bratt oh my god hot terrible
character unbelievably handsome man so he's leading this operation and he convinces her
to do this whole thing so they meet with uh miss morningside kathy Morningside, Candy Bergen, Mike herself, and Stan Fields, our old buddy, The Shat.
The Shat?
No, that's not what they call him.
They call him The Shat?
That's disgusting.
Okay, The Shat.
They meet with The Shat.
Gross.
Okay, so she enters the contest as miss new jersey and uh she
gets teamed up with victor michael kane michael kane great impression both of us thank you
because he's like a pageant coach and he gives her this major makeover they bring her to like
a warehouse it's. They're so...
It's like an airplane hangar. Are you ever
so ugly you need someone to rent a
building
to fix you? It's upsetting
how much... Princess Diaries,
they need a room for a couple
hours, but Sandra Bullock
apparently, Sandra Bullock and her middle part
are so suffering.
The flag is at half mast
and they like lock down. I don't even know where they are. Yeah. It's a giant building and they
needed it to turn Sandra Bullock into a beautiful woman. Yep. Believable. So then she goes to the orientation she meets miss rhode island who god we love her so you know
she's working on her thing she like is a beauty queen now she does her talent this this thing
for the listeners at home jamie and i both just rubbed our fingers on our glasses
oh that'd be so confusing out of context.
All right.
And then they get some new evidence that the envelope from the citizen was licked by a woman.
Which is like, what is this DNA test?
We know she's a woman but that's not saying
like that's not how that works well anyways the movie has to continue so right so uh kathy
morningside is mean to her victor is mean to her she's like i quit but then benjamin brad's like
but look how hot i am and he's like she's she's like, okay, I'll stay. Then they get, they're like, oh, Miss Rhode Island, she's a terrorist.
Maybe because she's like an animal.
She's in PETA and they're like, she's just in PETA.
Like, that's it.
She's like, I don't like fur.
And they're like, well, clearly she's a killer.
But in order to, like, try to coax some information out of her,
she hangs out with the gals and gets closer to them,
maybe even makes some friends.
And learns a little something about herself, too.
Learns a little something.
And then she learns that Miss Morningside is getting fired by...
We already knew the chat was getting fired.
Yes.
We didn't know that Candy was getting dumped as well.
Right.
And this is a game changer. Also
Candy Bergen
has an unfuckable son
who becomes relevant
as the movie goes on.
Yes, Frank. That sounds cruel
but he is dressed
like a turtle repeatedly.
And he's literally the
turtle turtle guy.
But then they catch the citizens are like, wait a minute.
We got him.
There's no need to be here at the pageant anymore.
But our friend Hart, she's got a hunch.
And she's like, no, I think we need to keep our eye on Miss Morningside, which is true
because she ends up being so bitter that she got fired that she's going to imply that she
lost a pageant 25
years ago and poisoned the winner so that she could claim the throne she's i also don't understand
like was her plan to blow someone's head up yes okay that is exactly the plan that's a bad plan
because the crown is like a bomb. Right.
But it's like that.
I don't know.
I'm just like, of all people, Miss Rhode Island.
She's so pure.
I know.
Oh, well.
So it's time for the main pageant.
And Hart's like, oh, I got to do my talent.
But the water glasses got drank.
So then she has to do the sing scene.
Sing.
She kicks Benjamin Bratt's ass on stage.
Very satisfying.
It's really cool.
Yeah.
And then she makes it into the top five, and everything's exciting.
It's rigged, but we're still thrilled.
And then Miss Rhode Island wins, but Hart's like, she figures out that it's the crown,
it's the crown that's the
the bomb so she like flings herself at her and you know rips off the crown there's a whole scuffle
the chat is like the show must go on he just keeps singing his line reads where he's just saying
the lyrics to the song five seconds after they've been sung is great
it's also one of those classic scenes
of like it's taking forever
to detonate a bomb for
no reason like
her turtle son's like I'm gonna
do it and it's like no
my fingers slipped then
it falls down stair
by stair and then finally
Candice Bergen is like, I'm going to blow up Miss Rhode Island's head.
But she fails.
She fails.
Heart saves the day.
And then at the end, she gets voted, believe it or not, Miss Congeniality.
It's nice.
Which means that you didn't win, but you're nice.
Yeah.
Yes. that you didn't win but you're nice yeah yes which is something that is achievable for people right yes okay so that's the movie uh good night no I'm kidding um so where should we start let's
start with the relationship because that is like one of the things I don't like about the movie
that I just sort of want to knock off sure off the top so i can just sing this movie's praises
but the relationship in this movie sucks yeah it's a bummer benjamin bratt's face and physique
are wasted in this movie but it's because and it's weird because it's like I think the movie sort of like it tries to paint them as equals, but in ways that just demonstrate their imbalance in the workplace even more.
Where at the beginning, especially, he is treating her like one of the guys.
And he's like, oh, we like, you know, we like fuck with each other.
We insult each other. But all of his insults are very pointedly misogynist.
Oh, yeah.
About her body.
He slaps her ass at one point.
He makes comments about how he doesn't find her attractive all the time.
And then the whole journey of this relationship is like he respects her after she gets a makeover.
And is just as good at her job as she ever was and is the same person
but now she has a hair straightener and he's in love i hate it some of my favorite lines from him
are by the way you look like hell really cute uh i think mcdonald their male boss, is more feminine than you. I'd rather kiss him.
So, you know, he's a feminist icon.
That's a two-punch.
It's a homophobic joke and a misogynist joke.
Go Mr. Brat.
Right.
He is like, he's sexist.
He's homophobic.
He's just like toxic masculinity all over the place.
But he's the love interest, LOL.
It's weird. Yeah. And it's weird because it's like you do i mean especially when i was younger i had like a deep affection for that
character but it's because there you can tell the reason she likes him but her character who
were sort of led to believe calls people out doesn't really call him out to the extent that
he deserves to be called out right because she calls out michael cain's character a lot she's
always like she calls out everyone yeah she calls out those little boys at the beginning
almost forgot yeah i so so that whole character in that relationship i mean it's like it's a movie in 2000. There's going to be a romance shoehorned in.
But it's like there there were enough good elements of his character that it could have been a more level, fair relationship.
And there didn't need to be so many cast off.
Like most of the stuff in this movie that sucks is pretty fixable of like it's a lot of just cast off misogynist and homophobic
jokes that don't need to be there they don't really add anything and bye like just don't do
that and it's weird because so this movie was written by two women and a guy katie ford and
karen lucas and mark lawrence i was trying to do research on each of them. Couldn't find a ton on Karen Lucas,
but Katie Ford is a queer woman. So you would think that there wouldn't be quite so much
kind of casual homophobia in it. But it was also 2000. So. And the other end of that is there's
more queer characters in this movie than in most movies of that time and still now where there's i mean at least two
characters that have direct impact on the plot that identify as queer and it's not like coding
and all the bullshit we're used to where michael cain's character uh identifies as queer wait
see i found he's, wax your pubes.
That's his whole character.
I found him to be more coded that way than identifiably that way.
But I might have missed something.
Well, he implies several times that he's in relationships with men. And at one point plays it off as a homophobic joke where he's talking to someone he knows.
And he says about Benjamin Bratt's character, like, he's talking to someone he knows and he says about benjamin
brad's character like he's with me and she's like oh so to me that it's not an explicit statement
right but that i don't know that went a step further than coding to me because usually like
a coded character in my head is like playing to every trope and not acknowledging anything outside of a trope where he is acknowledging
he is attracted to men and he's been in relationships with men i feel like is alluded
to several times where that was just my read of it there is that moment where he grasps uh benjamin
brad's shoulder and then he's like what a pity that he can't that he like can't stay for lunch we need to stop with that impression
and then at the end of the movie miss new york comes out to the world on stage and
says that it's like what what is the line she has oh it's she says it's great oh hang on i got it
here and then her girlfriend's in the crowd and she's like, yes.
And then we're like, love wins.
And then she's dragged off stage.
So it's like, OK.
So it's I just want to let all the lesbians out there know if I can make it into the top 10.
So can you.
And then she's like, love you, Tina or something.
Tina's like, woo.
And then we're like, yay.
But then immediately after that, they cut to the TV station.
It's weird.
It's like you get a good moment, and then it's sort of cast off in the next moment where the TV people are like, can we even say lesbian on television?
And then it's like, ba-na-na-na-na-na.
Right.
I don't know.
That mostly worked for me.
So Miss New says says that
and then like gracie claps and woos to like show her support yeah and then william shatner is like
stay tuned for our final five lesbians contestants and then after that the guy behind the scenes is
like can we even say lesbian so and then there's a woman who's like you got a problem with that so
to me like the men are made to look like bumbling idiots who like can't hang and then the women in
that scene are all like kind of challenging the status quo well i wouldn't even say that it's
restricted to gender i just think that in that scene everyone whose side we're firmly on which includes victor are pro miss new york yeah basically coming out uh to the world
on live tv and so everyone whose corner we're in is is cool with it and not shamey and yeah the
guy who's like like he's made to look that way the movie wants you to see him that way right so
yeah yeah so i was okay with that what didn't work for me so well was the
scene where victor tells like a backstage hand he's like benjamin brett's with is with me and
then he's like i'm not with him with him um because he is wildly insecure about his sexuality and he
does not like gay people but again he is poised as the love interest and standard public kisses
a homophobe at the end of the movie
sandy yeah there are still there are problems and he was also in the blind side so she's got
certainly uh some problematic things in her catalog sure the the way this movie handles
queerness is kind of all over the place but i don't know for 2000 it acknowledges queerness
in the way that most mainstream movies wouldn't.
So I would give it that.
Yeah.
So back to the conversation about the Benjamin Bratt character.
Oh, yeah.
He is in a pool and that's good.
We see his nipples.
We do.
That's great.
Yeah, there's that whole scene where Hart and Matthews are wrestling whenever he's trying to convince her to like take this undercover role.
Yeah.
There's moments where like he's like, just do a few like butt shaping exercises.
Tighten this slap in the ass.
He slaps her in the ass again at the end of the scene.
There's a moment where like she has his like head right in her crotch and they're like doing this whole thing.
So it's like, oh, I wonder if these characters have sexual tension.
That is a thing that whenever like a woman is fighting a man in a movie, I feel like it always comes down to the head between the legs.
And it becomes this like sexual subtext of I know that's a legitimate move you can do but must we every
single time and must we deliver a cute little punchy line while we do it like squeeze head of
like you're I was gonna say you're cute but whatever a quip not you're cute that's not a
quip that's just a feeling I feel like I feel like Black Widow does it all the time.
And like the Avengers movies,
it happens in the Jumanji.
Welcome to the jungle.
Ever heard of it?
Is there a fandom for that?
Are you feeling,
oh,
it's,
it's the guy who couldn't find the nipples.
Basically any,
any movie where there is a like female action star,
you can better believe that she is wrapping her pussy around his face
and using it to slam him into the ground.
And he's like, wow, she's powerful.
And you're just like, ick.
Yeah, that's gross.
And of course that moment happens a lot.
And usually in narratives where a woman who is like unusually strong or good at
fighting is forced to prove that over and over and over which this movie does a few times
hey i think it's about time for us to just take a little quick break i'm tired i'm tired snooze news.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption
that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti.
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We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
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Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
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Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.
I feel some Sandra Bernhardt in you.
Oh, my God.
I would love it.
I have to watch Lost.
Oh, you have to.
No, I know.
I'm so behind.
Katherine Hanken's thing.
Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt Bjork's music.
I just was like, who is this person?
I got to hawk this slalom, Lugie.
Not hawk the slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it.
It was somehow gorgeous.
Yee, my slok, you hollum.
Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The way, okay, transitioning a little bit to the way Gracie is treated by her coworkers, again, is all over the place.
Where they definitely know she's good and they they do seem to respect her and
like the opening sequence in like the present day is Gracie makes a call during they're trying to
catch some Russian guys there's a briefcase it's all very vague but Gracie makes a call where she
saves him from choking to death and that choice results in one of her coworkers getting shot.
So that I thought was like a cool scene and a good example of like watching a female protagonist be flawed and fuck up.
But in a way that isn't pointed or makes her seem incompetent.
And the way she's treated like she's punished for it because she fucked up.
Right.
But it's not,
the subtext isn't like you're stupid or you don't know what you're doing.
It's like you made a choice and it was the wrong choice.
Right.
I don't know.
I liked how that played out.
She's in trouble for not following orders.
Right.
Which is a legitimate reason to get in trouble,
especially when like people's lives are on the line.
I want a whole movie about Gracie and her boss i really like them yeah they got a fun dynamic and also in that scene
uh she saves herself so she gets like kind of held hostage by one of the the bad guys and he's
holding a knife to her but she does the sing thing so she does that and she saves herself uh but that
yeah so she gets in trouble so she does kind of have to like,
well, I'd say that like at no point
does she have to like prove her competency
at any point to the other characters.
It's weird.
It's like the smaller stuff though,
where it's, and she, I guess,
makes this point to Benjamin Brad at one point
of like she's ultimately chosen for that assignment
because she looks conventionally attractive in a bathing suit and even though Benjamin Bratt later is like
no it's not it is like that is the clearly implied reason that she's chosen it's like
she's competent but it doesn't hurt to look great in a bathing suit on top of being a you know badass fighter so that is sinister
and then in the next scene just going back to that original so Gracie is punished by her boss
kind of rightfully so she fucks up and then Benjamin Bratt's character is put in charge of
the beauty pageant thing. Yeah.
And then there's a whole scene where he,
he is incompetent because he's like,
Oh,
so what are we doing here?
And then Gracie will make a suggestion.
He's like,
we're going to do that.
And then she makes another,
he's like,
we're going to do that as well,
where she is doing the job for him.
And it's pretty clearly spelled out,
but then that kind of goes away as it goes on and
later he's like i'm about the job i was like really because we doesn't seem like you're very
good at it i read that scene as uh because it's a room full of men and they know that they have to
like work on this pageant thing so they're like oh no a thing that women do. Ah! And they, like, just completely forget how to do their job.
And then, like, Heart comes in with, like, the common sense.
Oh, she's the girl.
Yeah.
But she's like, yeah, call the pageant and then call the network.
Set up meetings with them.
Like, call the San Antonio people.
Let's get jurisdiction there.
Like, all this, like, common sense stuff that they should know to do.
But they're just like girl stuff yeah they lose their shit and then we get to the computer scene
oh no click click there are many scenes of like male gays throughout the movie freaky like y2k male gaze too where it's like not just male gaze
but male gaze via a windows 95 computer yeah which just seems so much worse somehow right so the first
one is when they're all crowded around and then they like make a game of it so like okay female
agents under the age of 35 who aren't pregnant as hell who do we got
and then they're just like they're making women's bodies a spectacle they have like popcorn they
have this weird software that can put one bathing suit on anyone which is not real but uh the
photoshops are convincing um but it is that's just like a whole scene where they go through women they don't know.
And they're like, ugh.
Or like, ooh.
And then they start putting bathing suits on men.
And then that's played as a joke.
Right.
Which is also just like.
Like how embarrassing if a man presents as feminine at all.
Exactly.
And then they get to Gracie.
And they're like, also also why would the fbi
know what she looked like naked yes that's what that software implies is like we have your nudes
and we will use them
because they could just have because all of a sudden they just have a picture of her from
multiple angles in a bathing suit you're just like that's not how the government works maybe
we'll listen to this in a year and be like that is how the government works
but as far as i know they don't have nudes from every angle in the year 2000
no no i don't know ask assange maybe he knows so that's the first very male gaze you've seen where yeah it's
either like ogling women's bodies who they find attractive or it's any woman who's not like
conventionally beautiful by western standards or there's like an age element too if a woman's over
a certain age they get a grown and yeah yeah it's bad so the second male gaze uh moment is heart is
like equipped with like a little camera and and she's being introduced to the other contestants.
And all the like FBI men are seeing this behind the scenes and they're like, oh girl, butts and legs.
They're losing their shit.
And that comes back a bunch of times.
I mean, that comes back when they're spending time together alone
and having conversations that happens whenever she's in a dressing room or backstage you just
cut to benjamin bratt and a bunch of men who have recently gotten their sag cards uh just like
panting frantically and you're just like oh great they're they're federal agents and we trust them um yeah but
yeah they're just like completely objectifying and like ogling over every woman they see
and then my my last point about that is that a demonstration that benjamin brout's character
has grown is that like sometime like two-thirds into the movie when they're doing that at the
screen he steps in front of when they're about to look at Gracie's boobs and he's like guys no he comes in on his
fucking horse actually we shouldn't do this because I decided I respected my colleague
since she became hot you're like you don't get a trophy for that.
You're all bad.
Yeah.
Another thing I wanted to talk about is how Gracie Hart does not like other women.
At first.
At first.
Which I understand why the movie made this choice.
It's like a fish out of water scenario. It's like, okay, who best would be the person to put into this like beauty pageant role sure it's gonna be like a woman who's rough around the edges who doesn't
like to be around other women and stuff like that but like the way she treats and talks to
other women in the beginning of the movie benjamin bratt's on a date with someone and uh heart is
very patronizing to her and we get her name so and like her name is beth and
she's like and she has a very nice question yeah because she's writing a paper on like criminal
justice and she's like i'd love to hear a woman's opinion and heart is like get out of my face you
idiot you young idiot and uh it's not a great pass it's not a good pass. It's not a good pass, but it is a pass.
It's interesting.
I mean, you can see that a lot of I think what would have been helpful is under having some context for why Gracie feels that way.
Because the only thing we know about her other than what we see unfold in real time is that scene at the very beginning of her when she was a little kid and that's kind of the
only context we have for who she is and why she is the person she is later on right so if we had
i agree that that is like it's a choice that the writers have to make for the story to work and for
like the growth to seem effective but it wouldn't have hurt to have a little bit of background on
gracie and like what makes her
inclined to be like a tomboy or like why is she more comfortable around men than she is around
women because that's like a character choice you can make if you explain why that is i don't know
i also think there are other ways to make her be a fish out of water without making her actively
hate every other woman she's ever talked to because
like there are moments where she's like i'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some
airhead bimbo that goes by the name of gracie lou freebush which is how she gets her name
gracie and we love it there i i don't know i mean i'm very attached to this movie and I will continue to make excuses for it.
But she gets there.
I don't know.
I feel like this movie does a pretty good job
of showing at least two different versions
of femininity and what a woman can be
and then showing a version of femininity
that's very commonly condescended to and uh you know is male gazey but in getting to know individuals
like she makes friends and sees value and like learns how to interact with other women and have
friendships and then at the end the speech and it's great i don't know
i i like her character's growth i think it's very it makes me cry it's a it's a it's a beautiful
character arc but yeah i guess i would just argue that there are other ways that that could have
been handled where she isn't so antagonistic to women again i understand why the choice was made narratively but it just means there's another example of a woman hating other women or women not getting
along but the nice thing is that that is overcome by the end of the movie right it is i don't know
i i feel like sometimes in like media stuff it can be valuable to see a very common trope and
then have it be commented upon or resolved.
Sure.
That worked for me.
But speaking of woman-on-woman violence, let's talk about Candy.
Let's do it.
Oh.
Wee-wee.
Candy's a deep well of trauma in this.
What isn't she fucked up about?
First of all, masterful performance.
The pantsuits on this character iconic
iconic she there is a Bechdel passing scene where Candice Bergen threatens to kill Sandra Bullock
it's great one of my favorite passes of the entire podcast she was like this is my thing
and if you fuck it up I will murder you with my hands we've graduated
from the she's all that you should kill yourself to this congeniality i will kill you let's get
rid of the middleman i will kill you makes her much more active yes yes yes yes um the main
thing i wanted to say about her as the female villain is that i feel like female villains and
i know there are exceptions to this rule but uh I feel like it's more common that female villains are there in the story when
the protagonist is also a woman as if to say oh a woman couldn't defeat a male hero but if she's
matched up with that right but if she's set up against a woman then we as the audience have an
easier time believing that she could pose a threat to the female hero that's really interesting i've
never thought of that but that i mean if you just do a cursory review of princess movies versus
snow white yep i'm convinced yeah we've got half of an example and we've got yeah fill in the rest
of the blanks she's right uh no that's a great point and and there's the i don't know the the
her character is challenging because you are you're given more context for her character than you are given for most people in the entire movie where you find out that she was the runner-up 25 years ago and is
still very mad about it to the point where she's sabotaging she wants to blow up someone's head
a quarter century later about it the bitterness attributed to her character, I feel like is,
almost speaking to your point a little bit,
is something commonly attributed to older female characters.
Yeah.
Where in a movie with a younger protagonist, if there are older women around them,
they either serve as a mother, a nurturing role,
or if they're the villain, they're bitter about something
that happened when they were younger,
and they take out that bitterness by punishing,
or, for instance, blowing the head up of someone younger than them,
which is frustrating because it's like having Candace Bergen's character
in this movie is amazing, and it's kind of a waste in some ways and a lazy
writing choice to make like an ageist like oh she's bitter because she's not you know a beautiful
25 year old anymore and because that's just such a common thing attributed to older female
characters ever is they're just pissed that they're not 25 right so fuck that her son looks like a turtle
but yeah i don't know i liked i liked her i like that at least you she's not based i'm just holding
this nipple and i know i want another feel the weight of it i'm gonna slither it down my throat wrote okay um i like that at least the writers gave enough consideration to that character to
give her a backstory because otherwise it would just be like woman is crazy right for no reason
so at least we get context but the context is kind of lazy writing as well so she does go out of her way to like fake a bunch of serial killer notes so
skills she's good she also appears to be like good at her job of being in charge of the pageant it
seems very successful and but also she wants to blow people up and that's bad and so it's hard
Michael Caine also has a backstory where he I mean mean, it's sort of, he's just like, I want a champion.
Like he's treating her kind of like Seabiscuit, but also we're like rooting for him.
I don't know.
Right.
So let's talk about the makeover.
The makeover, yeah.
Right.
So Victor Michael Caine takes one look at heart knowing that he's
gonna have to make her over but he hasn't seen her yet yeah he's like if you're crazy heart i
quit right here and now uh similar thing happens in princess diaries where he's like
it's more fun the way it happens in princess diaries if we've got to have a makeover scene
for me i go princess diaries every time it's frustrating okay this is something that is
perhaps uh deeply rooted in my psyche every time i see the reveal on the makeover scene i still am like wow she's so pretty and then i feel horrible about myself
but the reveal shot is it bangs i don't know like it's it's it's weird it's like i guess that's just
like the core of our podcast too it's just like oh i hate that i feel this way but at least i understand why
but that reveal shot to mustang sally holy shit it's very rewarding but also i know it i know
for this movie the makeover is justified based on the context of the story right although could you argue why do beauty
pageants exist in the first place and why is the expectation for women to be so beautiful but
that's not the question this movie is asking right yeah so at least she's getting a makeover to be
able to participate in a beauty pageant sorry scholarship scholarship i was going to say um
so sorry so i don't know it's kind of a cut and dry standard makeover scene where she has a middle
part and then she doesn't she said she's been sandra blake the whole time uh the reason she
has the makeover is i would argue that she's it's
like one of those not like the other girls women where you know she chews with her mouth open she
doesn't care about her hair she doesn't you know she's clumsy she wears gender neutral clothing
most of the time here's where we start to pull from the liz Lemon book of feminism that I find very troubling of like
let's present what no one can deny is a very conventionally attractive woman and just call
her ugly over and over and just hope we can gaslight our own audience into being like yeah
Tina Fey looks like shit and like just by I don't know that's something this movie does that on one hand you never see
women eat food in movies and that is something that it's like at least we see her eating like
a normal person would but well she's dipping steak into spaghetti i wouldn't go back well i
guess this is comes down to a lifestyle Not to shame the two of us.
I've dipped things in other things that shouldn't have been dipped in.
Perhaps.
I've dipped many things.
Same.
But all I have to say, it's weird because you do get to see someone eat like a human being.
And when food is taken from her and beauty pageant food is given to her, the movie is commenting on it.
And like this is fucked up.
It doesn't to me suggest and this is what women should do.
Like she's upset about it.
She's annoyed with it.
She doesn't want to do it.
Right.
But on the other hand, it's like she's Sandra Bullock.
Like it's annoying and frustrating in movies to try to gaslight your audience at the top of a movie and
be like she looks horrible and look she's such a slob she's called a slob over and over and over
and it's like no she's Sandra Bullock just like every time it's like you can't just give Tina
a cheese stick and call it a day you can't like it's that is just a half-hearted attempt at, I don't know, I don't like it.
Yeah.
Oh, sigh.
Sigh.
Caitlin.
Yeah?
I'm tired.
Can we take a break?
Let's just take a quick break.
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I feel some Sandra Bernhard in you.
Oh my God, I would love it.
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What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt Bjork's music.
I just was like, who is this person?
I got to hawk this slalom, Rudy.
Not hawk the slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it.
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Yeah, I think the makeover is justified narratively
unlike it is in other movies.
It's not just like, well, men don't enjoy you, so.
But although, fix it.
But again, I have to go back,
and maybe this is opening up the conversation to beauty pageants.
And because it is the makeover justified whenever we consider.
I don't know where I land on this, because on one hand, I'm like your body, your choice.
If you want to participate in a beauty pageant like you do you.
But also because women have historically only been valued for their
appearance and then things like you know miss america and other beauty pageants just reinforce
that and have historically been very racist which we can also touch on but because like there's no
mr america or is there i don't know but i don't think so. Not that we know of. Yeah, that's a weird... I don't know. That's tricky.
I would feel weird coming down on either side of that argument because it's like if it's what you want to do and you feel good and empowered and comfortable with everything that's happening, great. But there are, like you were saying, like very clear examples of those being harmful to the women participating in them.
And certainly to like young women and like young boys seeing that this is how we present women.
And this is what you're supposed to look like slash this is what you're supposed to be attracted to.
Right.
So a lot of...
Yeah, it just reinforces that like standard of beauty that uh we need to dismantle
am i right but also like world peace so yeah so there's sort of you know but i mean gracie hart
does have a lot of opinions on beauty pageants which she comes around on by the end right but
in the beginning she's like it's like feminism never happened like any woman that would
want to participate in a beauty pageant is catering to a misogynistic neanderthal mentality
i wish she like at the end of the movie was like well there's arguments to be made either way but
she's like pageants are awesome and you're like oh, oh, okay. I don't know.
Right.
And then like Benjamin Brown over here is like,
hey, you can get scholarship money.
You can see the world.
He's very pro pageant.
So wonder why.
But also like, great.
If you can get scholarships,
why do you need to prove that you look fuckable
in a bathing suit to, you know?
The classic question again. I don classic question again i don't know i don't know but the way the story explores that although i do wish that she
didn't just the movie's conclusion isn't like pageant's good keep them going like yeah that
seems kind of like a cop-out but we you know the story takes extra care to like get to know
at least five of the contestants and see how they interact with each other and learn
at least a little bit about each of them you learn most about rhode island uh but there's
i'm trying to remember the states new york california texas hawaii yeah a couple others
those are i think the the four main and plus red island and
then gracie's new jersey but like you see them interact and they're very often not talking about
men they're talking about their backgrounds they're talking about what their like plans or
strategies are in the competition they give each other advice they exchange gossip while drunk and
covered in paint they do a lot of stuff and so by the end when like the characters we know make the
top 10 you're happy for them which seems like kind of hard to do in a story with so many different
characters i appreciated that they went out of the way to show that they were people that wanted to be there and felt empowered by being there.
Is that a weird cop out in its way?
Probably.
But also we get to know them and that's nice.
Yeah.
And the story could have easily not gone in that direction.
It could have been like.
It could have been bitches.
Yeah.
And rather than focusing on the the friendship that happens among them,
it's more focused on the romantic relationship with,
which, by the way, I just want to add,
how Benjamin Bratt's character asks out Gracie Hart.
Because he says something like,
hey, before we get back back to new jersey you get
all ugly again do you want to like go out to dinner and then if we fuck after that's cool
just still be hot to me like you're just like yikes and then she's like yay kisses him and then it's a gnarly interaction it's not good right this move i don't know i love it and then
there's those parts it's a few other there's a there's some other parts uh i know caitlin
problematic thing sorry first year bubble there's a scene in the very beginning whenever
heart is like in that restaurant and she's got like the book with the camera in it and she's like trying to surveil like the people
oh the woman with two asses yeah so a woman gets fat shamed uh there's jokes that make light of
being deaf and being a mute there's jokes that make light of eating disorders uh oh yeah there's
a very pointed comment from gracie to rhode island her best
friend at there and she's allegedly showing up to make her feel better and brings pizza and beer
and then you know all the women are like you can't we don't eat that and gracie says something
akin to like who cares rhode island's just gonna throw it up anyways which is outing her eating disorder and is just like oh god we're supposed to like the protagonist like what the
fuck are you doing they're making light of like what is a serious issue inside of that community
and for women in general so yeah fuck that does not age well that joke nor does uh there's a
reference to Rain Man.
And then she like makes fun of people with developmental disabilities.
Weird Rain Man reference.
And it's a Jurassic Park reference.
So I guess that can stay.
Whatever.
Like there's a lot of it is it's all this little stuff that it's like we don't lose anything from the meaning of this movie by losing these like shitty little interactions that could be replaced with other stuff.
Right.
There's another one where the reason that she's able to even enter into the contest because Miss New Jersey was discovered as working in a porn film.
So it's like shaming people who work in the sex industry or work in porn.
So it's a lot of been again leveraged to be a criticism of the beauty pageant,
but it isn't as great for a joke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's a lot of like early two thousands era,
like problematic jokes that they weren't thinking of,
but we as sophisticated 18 years later audiences see,
we have never made a mistake or been wrong.
Yeah, no, I agree. That was another moment that you're just like oh jesus christ that's uh from people that we're supposed to like
right i love rhode island and i love that there's there's just like a range of different types of
women where the you know gracie's assumption at the beginning is like
every woman who participates in a beauty pageant is a specific way. And then we see that there's a
lot of different types of people. Would I argue that it's sort of like half lazily written to
state that they're coming from? Yeah. The Texas girls like the Alamo. You're like, all right.
New York talks about a bagel.
You're just like, okay, I guess.
There's a decent amount of diversity among that group, though.
Yeah.
So, I mean, there is diversity in the group of women we get to know.
It seems like the pageant majority.
Right. But the women we get to know the best are still white women.
Yes, because Gracie and Rhode Island.
But God love Rhode Island.
That April 25th.
Yeah, I was just going to ask, what's your favorite date?
What's your perfect date?
She's such a dumbass.
It's so sweet.
But like in a very endearing.
I love her.
Yeah.
I love her. She. She's sweet.
She should be Miss Congeniality.
Well, she's Mrs. My head didn't blow up.
So she should be thrilled.
Can we talk about the scene where Miss Rhode Island talks about her college professor attacking her?
Yes.
We can.
Yes, we can.
And we will.
So this is when Hart is coaxing information out
of mitchell island let's not let her get off the hook she's actively trying to get people drunk
for information yes that's very much her intention is like she doesn't quite roofie her colleagues
but she is not as drunk as everyone else on purpose she also just comes out and says
hey have you ever committed a crime yeah she's great at her job who is she keanu reeves and
point break come on yeah keanu point break literally goes into her burger joint it's like
i'm in the fbi this is my name but It's like compulsive. He can't help it.
So she's like, hey, is anything like have you ever done anything bad?
And then Cheryl, Miss Rhode Island, talks about how her college professor attacked her.
And then Hart says, did you report him? And she said, no, I had never told anyone before.
But this kind of thing happens all the time. then heart says no it doesn't and then we are
like yes it does and then she talks about how there's like all these maneuvers that she could
show you she's of course talking about sing sing we get a lot of foreshadowing for sing until it
happens that interaction is interesting where it gets like 85 of the way there for me.
Where in my head,
Gracie's reaction to Cheryl telling her that makes sense for that character
because Gracie has been fighting people her whole life.
So in her head, that doesn't happen
because she is tough and aggressive
and fights people off.
There should have been something done
inside of that same scene
to like you were saying be like no that does happen and Gracie as much as she is doing a good
thing in theory by teaching Cheryl how to defend herself is also like this happens all the time
like putting the onus and the responsibility on the woman to defend herself because there's no
way around it you're gonna get attacked so you have on the woman to defend herself because there's no way around it
you're gonna get attacked so you have to learn how to defend yourself versus acknowledging that
this shouldn't be happening like that's all that would have taken for me for that scene to work
is like i'm sorry that happened to you and acknowledging that that's a common thing and
then show cheryl how to kick someone's ass Right. I shouldn't have to teach you this.
We should teach men not to attack, but here's seeing.
But in order to survive the world as it's been set up so far,
break someone's nose.
Like, fair.
Do you have anything else?
That was most of my stuff.
I think in general, I really like Gracie. I think that where her character lands is definitely frustrating where we are to assume she's keeping the makeover. She's able to find romantic love or has interest in romantic love that we know of.
And she ends in kind of like a little bit too pro pageant, a little uncritical of like, yeah, so no one got blown up.
So this system is doing good.
Right.
And then the last interaction between Gracie and Miss Morningside was I don't know
like in theory that's a cathartic moment for Gracie because she gets to clap back at Candice
Bergen because Candice Bergen says yeah yeah and then Sandy says yes and we're like oh a callback but candace bergen is chaotic evil in this that character
didn't have to just be like pure evil like again just getting back to what we talked about of how
those characters are written yeah it is sort of satisfying to see her sent off to jail but
it's also cheap to pit women against each other and then be like and now you go
to prison you're bad and it's not like the system she was working with and was always bad whatever
yeah it's a perfect movie a couple other things i wanted to touch on uh one of the more problematic
components of the movie is the constant idea that's presented that people who identify as
women need to be presenting as more feminine like that's a constant thing like Michael Caine's
character says like I've I've taken a woman without a discernible trace of estrogen and
turned her into a lady Benjamin Bratz like always negging her being, you look like shit until you looked hot with that makeover.
And now I love you.
Yeah.
I mean, well, that's kind of I feel like the fact that she decides to keep the makeover kind of says it all in terms of where the movie stands on that.
And that's that's a bad.
Just make her wash her hair and not straighten it. And then it's like, weirdly, that would be progress.
That's fucked.
Yeah, I think that's those are the main points that i i had yeah should we take any see if anyone has any
questions or comments thoughts that we didn't yeah um which actor should have been replaced
with alfred molina oh i'm so glad you asked so the question was which actor should have been
placed with alfred molina okay well we've got a lot of options.
Do I think he could have replaced The Shat?
I do.
Do I think he could have replaced Michael Caine?
I do, but not quite.
Do I feel like he should have replaced Benjamin Bratt?
Absolutely.
I think if Alfred Molina is playing the Benjamin Bratt character,
they have to rewrite it, Right? Because they're like,
people aren't going to believe bad things coming out
of Alfred Molina's mouth.
He is a sweet
teddy bear who respects
women and he's going to be Doc
Ock one day. We can't disrespect him like this.
I think he should
replace Benjamin Bratt. Final answer.
Great. Any other questions
or thoughts?
Alright, tight. They're like leave we're tired um does it pass the bechdel test oh yeah it does a lot
there's almost an entire scene that passes the bechdel test from what i could whenever all the
contestants are being introduced to each other when yes and then there's also almost a whole scene between Cheryl and Gracie that you get significantly in there
before before a man is brought up which is cool and I think is like a testament again to like
the story having a vested interest in you getting to know who these women are, which is great.
Yeah.
And then there's of course the scene where Kathy Morningside says,
if you get in my way,
I will kill you.
Kenzbergen,
who she is giving it her all.
I love it.
I would pay her to threaten me.
And then,
yeah,
I think there's a couple others here and there there's a i mean there's there's a bunch
usually if there's a scene with contestants it passes at least once inside of your average scene
if it's a scene with gracie and miss morningside usually it passes it takes a while because it
it just takes gracie a while to get to the pageant but once we get there it's relatively smooth sailing if we're getting into it are they usually talking about
traditionally feminine things such as beauty pageants makeup and yes yeah yeah but you know
the test is flawed also there's the whenever Benjamin Bratt's character is like, hey, we suspect Miss Rhode Island is a terrorist.
Go talk to her and get some information out of her.
She's like, wait, you want me to talk to a woman?
And they're like, yeah.
And she's like, what do I talk about?
And they're like, leg waxings, fake orgasms, the inability of men to commit, which is mostly what I talk about.
I was like, where is the lie?
So that was a funny joke, some fun commentary, I suppose.
Sure, not really.
It shows that she does not even understand the concept
of a woman talking to another woman.
They play up the tomboy aspect too much she's
like do you want me to beat it out of her like right well but we have seen her kick benjamin
brad's ass multiple times at that point so it does seem to be their friendship dynamic
yeah yeah she's just rowdy yeah shall we rate the movie yeah on. On our five nipple scale?
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you think?
I would say, I think I'm going to give it a three.
Okay.
You can go higher if you want, but I think there's too many kind of problematic things
that don't age well for me to go higher.
But because it's Gracie Hart who is driving the narrative,
she,
I don't think at any point has to be saved by a man.
She's always saving herself.
She's always advocating for herself and standing up for herself,
defending herself.
And Oh,
one thing we didn't say is that she is the only one who doesn't give up on
the mission.
All the men quit.
Yeah.
And she stays.
Right.
It's her hunch that like keeps her in the game.
And she's right.
She's really good at her job.
She's like, hey, everyone, I'm really good at like decoding stuff.
She's basically a hacker.
She's hacking.
So I'm biased towards her.
So, yeah, she's the one who does everything.
She saves the day at the end. But as we discussed, there's problematic things,
casual homophobia.
The romance thing is big where we're like,
yeah, we're supposed to root for her
to end up with this guy who thinks she's ugly as hell
until she gets a very painful procedure done.
He's constantly nagging her and he also like is like i need to watch these things happen to you like he's there for her various waxing it's like
leave i i think he took the day off to do that ew there could have been an opportunity to comment more on like the standards of beauty that society
has decided are a thing yeah but it kind of misses out on some of it does provide some commentary but
i think it misses on other opportunities yeah definitely doesn't go all the way yeah so i'm
gonna land on the three and i'm gonna give one to gracie hart i'm gonna give one to candace and i will give
my final nipple to the bare nipple that we do see of benjamin bratz i am going to go three and a
half um maybe three quarters four feels wrong for some reason.
But as close to a four as I can get without it being,
three and three quarters works for me.
Like you were saying, there are a lot of missed opportunities and just kind of general lazy Y2K writing
on the only woman we see who's over the age of 40
is written to be very bitter and villainous.
There was an opportunity to incorporate women of color
in a more meaningful way of like,
even though it is a diverse group of women we get to know,
the three primary women we see and get to know well
are still white ladies.
But in general, I mean mean i think it does well in
terms of it would have been very easy like we were saying earlier to make the obstacle at the beauty
pageant that the women were mean and you know that is more gracie's obstacle to overcome you know she
dislikes women and she's right to like at least the obstacle is that she's wrong and she cares
about these women and and you know at the
end of the movie where she's late because she's in the fbi etc and they help her with her makeup
and they get her ready and that's like a nice how to sing and gracie is a 90 i think a great effective
character whose arc works although i wish she didn't end on the side of like and now i learned
that beauty pageants are awesome and being hot is cool bye oh and now i'm armed and fabulous so i'm gonna give it three and three quarters okay give
two to gracie one to new york and then the remainder to tina her girlfriend very good
yeah the sequel we're all waiting for uh also sandra bullock comedic powerhouse. The pratfalls. Wow.
In this movie.
The bratfalls.
They.
Okay.
I deserve that.
She pratfalls during a dramatic scene.
It's great.
At the beginning where she's like upset in her apartment, she's like the punchy bag.
She's like, I have so much rage.
But she still pratfalls because she's Sandra Bullock and she's committed to who she is i want sandra bullock and hillary duff to pratfall off who is the true master yeah well i think that's our show yeah thank you so much for coming thanks
to emissary yes huge thank you to laura sam and elias uh for having us here at emissary
uh listeners if you're ever in dc come check this place out it's this really cool like
it's a cafe it's a bar it's everything it's it there's asking for nipples see what happens
delicious jello nipples i'm drunk there's i fucked up. They gave us too many of these nips.
Thanks again to Emissary and everyone here.
And thanks to you, audience, for coming.
Enjoy the rest of your night.
Thanks for being here.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated.
Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks.
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Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti. And I'm Jemaine Jackson-Gadson. podcast. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Maury Tahiripour.
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