The Bechdel Cast - Star Wars: A New Hope with Sam Jay

Episode Date: December 15, 2016

Rebel scum Caitlin and Jamie invite comedian Sam Jay to talk about Star Wars and how there are less than five women in the whole galaxy. (This episode contains spoilers)Follow @SamJayComic on Twitter! While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. To listen to new episodes one week early and 100% ad-free, subscribe to the iHeart True Crime Plus channel, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. How do you feel about biscuits? Hi, I'm Akilah Hughes, and I'm so excited about my new podcast, Rebel Spirit, where I head back to my hometown in Kentucky and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot, the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the biscuits.

I was a lady rebel. Like, what does that even mean? It's right here in black and white and prints. It's bigger than a flag or mascot listen to rebel spirit on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i'm nk and this is basket case what is wrong with me a show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology swaps of different meds but but by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care.

Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Bechdelcast, the questions asked, if movies have women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effin' vast, start changing it with the Bechdelcast. Hello and welcome to the Bechdelcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Durante, and your other host, Jamie Loftus, is en route, en route? How do you say it? I don your host, Caitlin Durante, and your other host, Jamie Loftus, is en route.

En route? How do you say it? I don't know. Because she's stuck in traffic and we have to get started because our guest here has somewhere else to go soon. So just a quick recap of what this podcast is all about. It's inspired by the Bechdel Test, which is an analysis of narrative works, books, movies, things like that, where we discover whether or not there are more than two women. If so, do those two female characters talk to each other? And if so, is it about something other than a man? We take a different movie every week.

We talk about it. We bring a guest, and we discuss its female characters. So without much further ado, let me introduce our guest for this week, Sam Jay. She's a comic, and she's great, and we love her. Hey. What's up? Thanks for being here. Yeah, I'm glad to be here.

This is going to be fun. You're talking about one of my favorite movies. Yeah, tell us the movie. New Hope. Star Wars Episode IV. Episode IV, yeah. What does this movie mean to you? I mean, I'm a big Star Wars fan.

And I feel like New Hope was just the first one I ever saw. Like, I watched them in order when I was maybe, like, seven with my mom. New Hope was the first one I saw. It made me follow the story. And I'm a pretty much, I'm a dork for, like, stuff that sets up the story. I like that. I like those movies that kind of give me all the players. You know what I mean?

And it's one of those that kind of gives you all the players and why it is and what it is. And so, it's just one of my favorites. Yeah.

It just introduces you to the world that I've been into ever since. Yeah. This is a tangent, but you revealed to me that your favorite Star Wars movie is episode three.

Revenge of the Sith. And I decided to disown you as a friend for a few days after learning that. Indeed. But we're back. We're back as friends. Revenge of the Sith was the best one. Yeah. It's just dope. It's just dope from beginning to end you get it's i i mean i like i said i love i love a thing that kind of puts puts the end of the beginning on it so for me

it's like explains all of it now you get all of it you get why vader is vader you get where luca you get all luca layer coming from all the pieces are now finally together. How Obi-Wan and Vader's relationship parted ways. How did it happen? Why is he in that suit? Now we know. All questions are answered and it's dope. But you wouldn't appreciate that had you already not known

all the information from episodes four, five, and six. Right, but it still gave everybody's turn, too. Yoda's turn. Anakin's turn. It's like everybody's turn to yoda's turn anakin's turn obi-wan's it's like everybody's turning up it's full turn up in yeah in the original trilogy everyone's like old yeah like you get to see yoda like really will the lightsaber and like what there was so many gangster parts like when the clones all turning and yoda was standing there with chewbacca with the chewies and then, like, the little, not Stormtroopers, but the other clones.

Oh, I don't know. The clones, whatever they are. Those little robots, and they were about to, like, turn on Yoda, and Yoda just jumped behind them and cut their head off, and it was like, all right, let's roll. Oh, yeah. Like, come on, I'm Yoda. Like, really? Y'all thought y'all was going to do that to me?

Like, that's crazy. And he just dipped. It was dope. There's so many dope parts in that movie. Yeah, I guess. It's amazing. I'll revisit it. It's so good. Okay, revisit it. It's so good.

Okay. If you insist. It's great. So normally I do a, at no one's request but my own, a recap of the story. But we were hanging out the other day and you gave me a synopsis of the movie Roadhouse, which I was not familiar with. And you did such a great job that I was wondering if you would want to do

the recap for A New Hope. All right, so I watch a lot of Star Wars, so they kind of bleed in. Sure. I'll correct you if necessary. Yeah, so you just chime in, and I might need you

on the strong ending, but from what I call, you know, A New Hope is our introduction to a young Luke Skywalker. He's on Tatooine, which is just like a desert planet. And he's like, man, this shit's boring. Like, Tatooine, you whack as fuck.

But his aunt and his uncle are like, you got to stay here, yo, because we got rhubarb season coming up. And we need you for that harvest. And he's like, but there's a whole life out here. Off of Tatooine, I'm just trying to be like a real nigga. And they're like, nah. So then a robot shows up. Like, yo, oh shit, this is a random ass robot. off the tattooing i'm just trying to be like a real nigga and they're like nah so then like robot shows up like yo oh shit this is a random ass robot it looks like what the hell and then he touches robot and it's a message from a hot bitch that's like mad fly so she's like yo i'm

mad sexy and i'm stuck and he's like i'm gonna save this chick because i ain't got nothing else to do and yeah yeah so that brings us to about 20 minutes into the film. Then he's like. So he meets Obi-Wan, right? Yeah, then he meets Obi-Wan. And he's like, Obi-Wan's like creeping around. And he's like, who's this old crazy dude? And his aunt and his uncle know it's Obi-Wan.

But they're like, nah, he's just a crazy old dude named Ben. But Obi-Wan starts being like, yo, man, I know you feel it. Like, this place is whack and you should be not at this place and it's like yo you crazy but you making some sense to me you know what i mean and so then obi-wan's like yo i'm gonna just tell you the real bro like jedi's is real i'm one of them niggas i could teach you how to be one of them niggas because you got the force in you my man and then looks like i'm down for that because this is boring as hell and i don't want to be picking rhubombs my whole life.

Yep. And then they go, so they go to Mos Eisley, and they meet, because the, we forgot to mention the Empire, and they are after the two droids that have come into Luke's possession. Right. So they have to escape. So then they go and meet. Han Solo. Uh-huh.

And Chewbacca. So yeah, they did, they had to bounce bounce because the Empire, they always losing droids. They always losing their droids with information and stuff. So they had captured some droids, lost some droids. The droids had vital information. They trying to get the droids back. Luke gets in possession of the droids. They got a bounce.

So Obi-Wan's like, we got to dip, dip, dive. Obi-Wan still feels the force and stuff. Like, they moving, shaking. Bumping a Han Solo, shaking. Bumping Han Solo. Chewbacca. Han Solo is like a badass galaxy, like, pirate. Smuggler. Smuggler.

Like, bootlegger type dude. So he's making all types of bad deals. I'd tell him a scruffy looking nerf herder, but that's just me. All right. I would say, yeah, he's like a bootlegger of the galaxy. You know, making slime deals, moving illegal contraband around in the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca, you know what I'm saying? And then Luke and them hook up and they just distracting Han Solo from like his real nigga task. You know what I mean? He's like, I'm not really here for all that. I just like to get money and fuck hoes. Y'all got me doing all this other stuff. Right. So they link up with him and then, but they get captured by the Death Star.

Yeah. Doesn't it, like, capture them in their little, like, their beam of control? The beam of control. So then they have to, like, be all sneaky, and they manage to, like, the like the stormtroopers for a hot minute and then they beat some of them up they do the old switcheroo and put the stormtrooper suits on

cause like that's how you break into stuff and then they get up in there like yo we one of y'all but then when they get up in there they take their helmets off like nah we us yeah

and then they go and rescue Princess Leia yup up out of that ship like yo girl we knew you was up in here and we came to get you and Han's like

wait a minute she's bad I'm kinda glad I came on we came to get you. And Han's like, wait a minute, she's bad. I'm kind of glad I came on this trip. Yeah. But so is Luke. Luke's like, oh, I like her too. Luke's like, I got a boner for her. So they got boners. And then, so they manage to escape after some ruffles and scuffles.

But not before there's a face-off between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. Yes. And that's the apprentice and the teacher getting it back on since Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. Yes, and that's the apprentice and the teacher getting it back on since Obi-Wan cut off all his limbs and stuff. And he's like, now I'm super ill, Obi-Wan, and I'm definitely going to kill you

because I got so much anger towards you, my man. And Obi-Wan's like, I know you're going to kill me. That's how ill I am in the Force. Then I'm just chilling, bro. I'm ready to die, baby. Then they go at it. He kills Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan really kind of just lets it happen. And then Obi-Wan's like, then I'm just chilling, bro. I'm ready to die, baby. Then they go at it. He kills Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan really kind of just lets it happen.

And then Obi-Wan's like, now I'm super duper ill with the force because I am the force. Ooh. He's a force ghost, which we learn. You see, you like hear his like voiceover, his like ghost voiceover later in the movie. But then you see his like ghost form. Yeah, his little like, ooh. Yeah. in the movie, but then you see his, like, ghost form. Yeah, his little, like, ooh. Yeah, so then Luke is all sad about it, even though he knew Obi-Wan for maybe a day.

Like, two days, but Obi-Wan put him on a lot, so that's reasonable that he was hurt by it. And then, plus, Luke's just like, yo, Vader's not a good dude. He's just out here statching up hoes off the galaxy. Now he's just killing my mans. He's doing a lot of reckless stuff. Yeah, so then they regroup, and they go to a rebel base, hoes off the galaxy. Now he's just killing my mans. He's doing a lot of reckless stuff. Yeah.

So then they regroup and they go to a rebel base and they, like, analyze the plans to destroy the Death Star. Meanwhile, Han is all like, I was just in this for the money. I got my money. I got my reward. Peace out.

See you later. And then Luke and some other pilots go and try to destroy the Death Star. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They do, right? They do. Yeah, that's it. And they blow it up. Han comes back

and he's all like, just kidding, I'm back. I've got a heart of gold. He's like, I can't leave. Can't leave? I haven't effed. Right, which is the same thing Finn did in episode seven. Yeah, because Finn's like, I'm out. I can't be here. I gotta leave because these people are dangerous. And he's like, nah, I can't leave my boo. Gotta hang out with my boo. And that's why Han's kind of his mentor because Finn's like, I'm out. I can't be here. I gotta leave because these people are dangerous. And he's like, nah, I can't leave my boo.

Gotta hang out with my boo. And that's why Han's kind of his mentor because Han's like, I used to try to leave my hoes too. I'm gonna tell you how to not do that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just because you're not a Jedi doesn't mean you can't train other people to do...

Because really Finn is in the same position as Han. He's not a Jedi either. He's just rolling. He's just rolling. You know what I'm saying? So he's kind of the same character just in a different form. So that's why Han's

kind of like bringing one of those tutelage. You know what I mean? Yep. I got you. So that's pretty much the story. And then they blow up

the Death Star and then there's a little ceremony at the end with everyone throwing gold medals. I have that t-shirt. And then, yeah,

they do. They blow it up. And that's when now Vader has to recognize, like, yo, the Force is over. This is the Force to be reckoned with. The Force is, there's disruption in the Force and the light side of the Force is, you know, coming back and that the Jedi may return. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

But there's a whole movie in between that and the Jedi returning. It's Empire Strikes Back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're not here. Which makes sense because they got it straight back. They do. But yeah, we're going to focus on A New Hope. We're talking about this to sort of coincide with the release of Rogue One, which is coming out soon.

So we're going to talk about the female characters, of which there are two ones with speaking roles. And then don't know if anyone else noticed this. I didn't notice this until this recent viewing. There are two women in the cantina scene when they're at Mos Eisley trying to get on the Millennium Falcon. Are we counting alien women as well? Well, it's hard. Since we're not familiar with those alien species, it's hard to tell.

Some of them got titties, though, so you know. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, they do in Return of the Jedi. They would be out with titties. For sure. In fact, some of them had more than two titties. Some of them had, like, eight. Yeah.

But in A New Hope you only see in that cantina scene there's a pair of twins. Women who are just hanging out getting a drink or whatever. Other than that there is Princess Leia and there's Aunt Beru.

Aunt Beru has maybe five minutes of screen time. Probably less. You don't need to know anything about your life, Luke. Isn't that her whole deal? That's more his uncle. So what did she even say to him? Aunt Beru is, she kind of stays silent until the end of that scene where Luke kind of storms off. He's like, what, you're making me stay on for another season?

Yeah. I want to go to the academy this year. Me, me, me. Right. His uncle's all like, whatever, I'll make it up to him next year yeah she's all like you fucking idiot he has too much of his father yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's her she's pro let him go yeah that's right sorry amber had you all messed up so that's pretty cool but yeah like and then the next scene time we see her she's a burnt up corpse that's like all fried and sizzled.

Yeah. So yeah, she is very little screen time. That's when you got that work. So the most notable female character is our friend Princess Leia. Yes. She's actually introduced really early on in the story. We meet her before we even meet Skywalker. Through hologram.

No, even before that, there's a scene. The first sequence we see is the Imperial troops boarding. I don't even know which ship they're on or whatever. But like Darth Vader. I almost hesitated to do an episode about Star Wars. Because there's going to be so many nerds listening at home. Being like, oh, the name of the ship is this. And it's this model.

And they're on this planet. And blah, blah, blah. Oh, they're going to hate my rendition of what happened. They're like... Yeah, I only know the Star Wars information I have is what has been in episodes one through seven. I haven't read any comic books. I don't know anything that's canon

that has been established through other things. We're fans with books. I don't. Anything that's canon that has been established through like other things. We're fans with lives. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I have sex. Very, very. Not very often. And I'm not just watching. Not very often.

Not very often at all. But often enough where I don't have time to read a comic book about Star Wars. Her vagina's busy, guys. So. So. Anyway. So I So. Anyway. So I only know the names of the planets that are mentioned in the movie. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not all into. I know what's going on. And I'm into the story of it. The battle versus good and evil. And the idea of you being in control of your energies and your destiny and all that good stuff. But I don't get down to all the nitty gritty details. No. So apologies to all the Uber fans gritty details. So apologies to all

the Uber fans out there. Sorry, y'all. I'm probably not going to get all the names right of everything. But anyway. So they're boarding the ship and Darth Vader busts in. He's like, oh, you're a rebel spy. She's like, I'm on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan. Yeah, that's right. He's like, you're a rebel spy

and you're a piece of shit. Yeah, come here. And then I think that's when he takes her prisoner. and you're a piece of shit yeah they have a little fight and then i think that's when he takes her prisoner yeah he's like nah get her we learn though that she's like able to wield a gun though because she's got a gun and then she runs away and they're like set phasers to stun or whatever and then they stun her and then they take her prisoner so that she does not appear on screen again i I don't think, until 54 minutes into the movie. And we're not talking about via hologram. So, yeah, technically she's on screen when she's...

Oh, okay, our other host Jamie Loftus is here! Welcome, how are you? My hamster's in safe hands. Good, oh yeah, you had to drop off your hamster for hamster sitting Because you're going back out of town Unexpectedly long hamster errand, yeah Oh no I had to make small talk with the hamster sitting

I can't just be like, here's my animal, see you in a week Oh sure, sure, sure You're a good person Sweet I'm just a bad driver mostly We're good good we've been we've been chatting Star Wars

good so yeah we were just we recapped the movie and we were just starting to introduce who the female characters were we

there are a total of I think four of them that I counted that you can see on screen only two of them have speaking roles okay

and we were just talking about Princess Leia we meet her early on and then we see her again as a hologram and that's when luke is all like who is she she's beautiful little do i know she's my sister but oh man do i want to fuck her we've all been there she's the most notable female character in episode four, but there are huge chunks of time where she is not on screen at all. Or if she is, she's in the version of a hologram, which means she's not really doing anything to influence the story. She's like an exposition machine.

Because what does she say? At first we only hear say, help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. And then a little later on, they play back the entire message which is, like, I've stored information that's vital to the destruction of the Death Star into this droid. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Yeah, she's a plot tool. At least in the first act.

She appears on screen again, not until like I said, 54 minutes into the movie. Because there's a huge gap where like Luke and Han are like figuring shit out she shows up again and I think like the Empire is interrogating her trying to figure out where

their rebel base is and she's like Dantooine and they're like okay let's blow up Alderaan anyway right that seems pretty short and then she disappears again for another several minutes and doesn't show up again until an hour and 13 minutes into the story. Mind you, this is only a two hour film. And that's three.

We're on three appearances. Yeah. So this is like their third time on screen, an hour and 13 minutes into it. And that's when Luke goes to rescue her in the detention cell that she's being held captive in. So an instance of a man having to save a woman. One of those really fun tropes. She joins the gang after that. She's like part of the little Scooby crew.

Yeah. And we see her do some pretty bad ass things. Yeah, she's pretty rad. The end kind of redeems her a little bit because she gets to actually do stuff. Yeah. For example, after they've rescued her, the stormtroopers are shooting at them. And she's like, wait, you didn't have a plan to get out of here? And so she takes matters into her own hands.

She's like, oh, this is some rescue. She grabs Luke's blaster. And he just starts busting. Fires a bunch of shots into the stormtroopers. I remember that part. She shoots a hole in the wall. She's like, somebody has to save our skins. Right. And doesn't

it make a door come down or some shit? She just blasts a hole in the wall. Oh, that's right, to go through. Dives in. She goes, into the garbage chute, fly boy, she says to Han Solo, which is great. And then everyone dives in. She goes, into the garbage chute, flyboy, she says to Han Solo, which is great. And then everyone dives in, and then they end up in the trash

compactor. And then when they're in there, the walls start. Because whenever women take charge, they muck it all up. It's a fucking metaphor. As we are conditioned to believe via mainstream American cinema. And there's a fucking metaphor as we are conditioned to believe via mainstream American cinema

and there's a line of dialogue about that but I'll get to that in a second so then they all land in the trash compactor and then

the walls start closing in on them and Luke is just like dude the walls are moving and she's like don't just stand there and brace it with something

so she's like take an initiative she's like doing something cause she's been through stuff though I mean that would she's like, take an initiative. She's like, doing something. Because she's been through stuff though. I mean, that would make sense.

Like, Luke doesn't know anything. He's just coming from Tatooine. He's like, fresh off the boat. He's just like, he's just trying to get it popping. You know what I mean?

She's like, she's been through some stuff. She's hidden secrets. She's stolen stuff. She goes with stuff a little bit. She does. She does, for sure.

Then there's a line of dialogue that I never picked up on until this most recent viewing, this rewatch, where after they get out of the trash compactor, Han says, well, if we can avoid any more female advice, we ought to be able to get out of here. Yeah, Han was right. No! That's what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking when they, yeah, yeah. Way to pick that up, Han. She's the only one who did anything to, like, get them out of their situation.

Because she was moving irrationally. It didn't give Han time to think of a better plan. Han had no, no. In fact, Han was like, looked at, like. They were fucked either way, but she tried. She at least did something. She made an attempt. Yeah.

Yeah. But that was also, I think, like, I mean, of course, it speaks to show realism and all that. But I also think it was kind of Han's character of, like, he can never be wrong or not in charge. Sure, yeah. You know what I mean? He would have said anything to anyone if they had to. Yeah, exactly. If it was Luke's side, they'd have been like, well, we can afford dumb kid advice.

True. But what bugged me about that was not just the line itself but that like leah wasn't like fuck you dude i didn't see you trying to do anything like she didn't have any she didn't have a comeback no for it i would have her comeback was to deny him the pussy yeah which is the ultimate she was like true you ain't gonna get this box keep talking like talking like that she's gonna go fuck her brother. That's hurtful. You're like, you know what? I don't want to fuck you so bad

I'm going to fuck my brother instead. That's revenge. She may have to work harder for it. There's a couple scenes later. They're trying to get across the bridge. They're still in the Death Star. Luke is like doing crap. Who knows what he's doing?

The stormtroopers are like trying to get through the door on the other side. She takes the gun and starts, like, shooting people. And she's a better shot than Han or Luke because everybody misses everybody every time they shoot at someone. Like, these people have the worst aim. I was confused about that because when I was, like, does it not hurt if you get hit by one of those? But I was, like, oh, they're just missing everybody. Yeah, no, no one can. It was like fucking paintball or something.

Which is hilarious because earlier in the movie, Obi-Wan's like, only Imperial troopers are this precise because they're talking about like the little, they're not Ewoks. They're like the little dudes at the beginning. Anyway, they're talking about the precision of the fire blast. and he's like the only stormtroopers are this precise it's like no no one hits anybody ever yeah right it's dumb anyway i'm just my the point i'm trying to arrive at is that like on a number of occasions like leia takes matters into her own hands and is like oh you're not

getting this done fast enough or well enough then i'm gonna do shit so i do like that right and it doesn't bother me that she fucks up the plan something oh yeah yeah because it's like i don't know i always feel weird when it i think that's almost like a trope in movies where it's like the the one woman in the scene is like move aside aside boys, I've got this, you know, and then she fucking... And then she like does it with her high heel. Yeah, exactly. Like, changes like a fucking monster

truck tire. Yeah, she pulls out her perfume. But she's wearing like a negligee. She pulls out her perfume and she's like, I know what to do. And her nail polish and then makes like a rope. Yeah, and at the end the guys like have their mouths open and she's like, I know what to do. And her nail polish and then makes like a rope. Yeah, and at the end the guys have their mouths open and she's like, you know, that wasn't hard, was it? And she's still sexy too.

Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, no, it doesn't bother me at all that she put them into more of a... Because that's what storytelling is. Yeah, it just felt like a realer way to do it. Yeah, that she wasn't always going to get it right. Characters getting into hijinks, encountering obstacles, trying to figure out how to overcome those obstacles.

So yeah, like, a character's going to make a mistake, and that's what storytelling is. Right. So yeah, Leia takes initiative. She, like, takes action. She makes decisions that influence the direction the story takes. So that's what I like about her. And she's pretty good at hurling insults, too.

She's like, get this walking carpet out of my way. So she's a little firecracker. She is. What I'm trying to say is that I like Princess Leia. I think she's a pretty good character. The problem is all of her relationships are like, she has no female relationships. She's literally the only woman in space. All the time.

Because any scenes where there's a bunch of extras, if there's pilots or rebels, maybe there's some ladies stormtroopers. We don't know. Weren't there some ladies on the cloud planet? You're saying specifically for this movie? Yeah, but we're only talking. Okay, you're saying specifically for this movie. Then, yeah. That's very true. There was there was a question oh it's chewy is he maybe he's a she wrong that's yeah wrong and also what a fucking stretch there is a second female and also chewy

couldn't pass the beck till well i guess maybe well yeah't really... Well, we don't know what he talks about. He could be talking about a man. He could be fucking talking about ice fishing. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We do know that he is, in fact, a male because, if you recall, the Star Wars Christmas special that came out, I don't remember what year, early 80s or late 70s.

That's supposed to be bad, right? I've never seen it. Oh, it's so... It's about Chewie's family. He has a wife and three kids, I think. And I don't remember what the story is. Yeah, I'm like, I like all this. So hilariously bad. I mean, you should watch it.

Is it like he's just like chilling with his family? I think he's trying to get back home to his family. Oh, I was going to say, because they all speak that language, and that's just a long show that no one understands. Yeah, it's like a sitcom pilot. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's like Chewie and his wife, the kids getting into this stuff. Luke is definitely in it, and I want to say— Luke is?

Like Mark Hamill? Yeah, Mark Hamill as Luke. When did this come out? Wait, now I'm excited. I'm going to in it. And I want to say... Luke is? Like Mark Hamill? Yeah, Mark Hamill as Luke. When did this come out? Wait, now I'm excited. I'm going to watch it. Yeah, IMDb. I can't remember. It's so...

Okay. And I want to say that I can't remember if Harrison Ford as Han is in it or not. Is it a show? No, it was like a made-for-TV movie. 1978. Oh, it's on YouTube. Oh, yeah. That is how I watched it.

Okay, so it came out like right after, because episode four was released in 1977. I'm down for that. I love a weird hacky tie-in. It's one of my faves. Bottom line is Chewie is a man because he fucked his wife and had three babies. As far as we know. Three Chewie babies. Hell yeah.

They might not be his. Maybe not. He's away a lot with Han. She gets lonely. She's fucking some other strange Wookiee. There's also a question, oh, well, maybe the droids are women. Also, no, because at least C-3PO is pretty clearly, he's effeminate, but he's a man. He's a guy, yeah.

And then he talks about and to R2 using, like, he, him, his pronouns. So, one lady. It's just, like, I assume that they just, like, reproduce, like, worms. There's just, like, another guy that pops out of a guy. Because there's no other way if it's just Luke's aunt and Leia. They can't fucking populate a galaxy. Right. Yeah.

It's pretty. And like, sure. It's a movie about, it's Star Wars. They're at war. And it was a long time ago. So back, you know, world war two even uh back when there were only men in the world yeah or at least like men soldiers uh i don't know when women started being soldiers in in the military but maybe it's just since they're all a lot of them

are like military but there's also a rebellion. Like, a woman, like, anyone can join a rebellion. True. Yeah. And it's supposed to be way in the future. No, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Oh, it's a long time. Yeah, it's way in the past. This fictional story that did never exist.

Maybe they were having, like, their own industrial revolution, you know? Whoa. There was, like, a whole story. I always thought it was the future but like a long time ago of like the beginning stories I don't even know what I thought that makes sense to me

do you get what I'm trying to say? because it's the middle stories I thought it was a long time ago like to the prequels oh I don't know I mean those stories take place but i just never i never really i always assumed it was the future oh yeah no the opening the title card that doesn't make any sense long we don't have any of that stuff we can't fly around in fact it might be

long long no it's long time ago in a galaxy far far away so it's just far away but it could have been like i think that's a fuck up i'm just i it could have been like i think that's a fuck up i'm just i'm gonna go and say i think that's a fuck up submit an edit i can't wrap my head around this well it's the truth so yeah back when women didn't exist except for one of them all right well in that case sure yeah um it was a simpler time. And the other thing about Leia is that when she's talked about in pop culture, or just like any, when people talk about her, it's almost always in the context of her slave Leia outfit. People are like, oh yeah, slave Leia. She's hot.

I'd bang that. We don't talk about her accomplishments. The fact that she's a diplomat and a politician and a princess. She led an army. And she can fire a gun and she makes choices and sticks with them. We don't talk about that, do we? No.

But it is a good costume. This is really good. She's got the most insane abs ever. It's not fair. Oh, yeah. I do long to have that body. Okay, I'm objectifying her, but also, like,

I thought about it. How does she do that? I mean, I objectify Han Solo on a pretty regular basis, so... Yeah. Like young Harrison Ford? Oh, yeah. What is wrong with you?

What do you mean what's wrong with me? I want you to get outside more. Mark Hamill, I couldn't be less on board with. Oh, yeah. Even when Harrison Ford was in that movie, he looked like a dad. He looked like a hot dad. He looked like a dad, though.

He wasn't giving you young, sexy vibes. He wasn't giving you Zac Efron. He was simply giving you, like, dad. How old was he in this movie? I don't know. He got kind giving you Zac Efron. He was simply giving you like dad. How old was he in this movie? I don't know. He got kind of a later start to acting. Oh, he was already

like 35-ish. Yeah. Yeah, he looked dad-ish. Yeah, that's dad. Even like when he was like liking Leia, I was like, you too old for her, bro.

I will say that. You know what I mean? Like you old dude out here trying to scheme something young. Didn't Carrie Fisher say that she and Harrison Ford like hooked up? Wasn't that like a recent thing? Like, you an old dude out here trying to scheme something young. Didn't Carrie Fisher say that she and Harrison Ford, like, hooked up? Wasn't that, like, a recent thing?

Yeah, that story previously broke. But she was, like, a teenager. Was she? See, I don't see how hard she fought. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's fucked. Sliding that peen. In Hollywood, you could do that. You could slide that peen into as long as she was 19.

She was born in 56, and this movie came out in 17. She was, like, she was 21. Yeah, that's old enough for the peen into as long as she was 19. She was born in 56 and this movie came out in 17. She was like, she was 21. Yeah, that's old enough for the peen. Right, that's true. For dad peen. It's not for everyone. She's a consenting adult.

You can get into it on that. Anyway, we statement retracted. That's the thing. Because she's the only notable female character in the thing, there's no female relationships for her to have. All the notable relationships are between men or a man and her. It's so nice of you to care, Caitlin. Oh my gosh, I care so much.

Because you've got Luke and Obi-Wan. It's like the mentor-mentee relationship. You've got Luke and Han, which is like a budding friendship thing. You've got Han and Chewie, which is like sidekick, Wookiee, man. It's so funny that that relationship is more

compelling than any relationship they had. It was like, oh yeah, Han Solo and this fucking huge dog have a more interesting storyline. Yeah, it's upsetting. And then her relationships are, basically she has one

with Luke, which is that he wants to fuck her, and she has one with Han, which is that he wants to fuck her. And also Jabba. Oh, but not in this movie. Not in this movie, but yeah. But he also wants to fuck her. But he wants to fuck her. But also Jabba. Oh, but not in this movie. Not in this movie, but yeah. But he also wants to fuck her. But he wants to fuck her. But how? That's the question.

He has that tail. Yeah. That he would definitely slide in. I'm sure there's plenty of, like, fan porn that would explain fully how. But I'm not in the mood for that rabbit hole. No. Oh, he might have, like, a whale dick.

Like, it comes out of a thing. Like, underneath. That's what I was thinking. Like, it comes out of a yeah that's what i was thinking and just a slimy dick underneath all that i think who knows that is probably and you have you ever seen blackfish yeah yeah they jerked a whale off that was so unnecessary oh yeah i'll never forget apparently yeah we didn't need to see that no No, and it didn't add anything to the story. It was like, yo, what is this, yo? They were like, all right, let's get the.

Stomach turning just thinking about it. It was nasty. Yeah. I haven't seen that movie in a couple of years. Me either. Although apparently in nature when whales have sex, there has to be a third whale there to like prop up one of them while like. Kinky. Yeah.

There's a third. I don't think this is true this is true you're just like nope do it this is information that I gleaned from a joke of Alingan Mitra a very funny comic who we all know check him out he had a joke about

whales having sex and how there has to be a third to like prop up the other ones as they're fucking each other. Because you're suspended in water. There's no headboard to brace yourself against. But they have dicks, though. That's true. That's how much sex is important in everything.

That's kind of cool. And as we mentioned earlier, sometimes I do have it. Every once in a while. So I think we can draw and then draw the conclusion that the movie does not pass the Bechdel test. Not even close. Not even close. A few movies do it and they like do the very bare minimum of them. This one doesn't even try. Nope.

Does not try at all. So fuck this movie. No, I mean, I really like it. It's such a great movie. I've seen it, you know, a dozen times or more. But only on this viewing was I like, oh, wow. There's only one lady

who matters in this story. And I guess, like, so do you think it's like a thing where it's like, okay, so that was just the time, you know? And like how now you have, like, the female Ghostbusters movie. You know you know what i mean like do you think and like how they're trying to make a woman the lead in these new star wars you know what i mean yeah i just think the time sucked dude yeah because i feel like at the time probably no one had a second thought about that like that was just normal oh yeah for sure yeah the patriarchy they probably thought it was

progressive because leia was shooting yeah she was in the movie and she was doing i mean they were like yo we are breaking down barry yeah the pitch meeting was like guys we're gonna have a movie but guess what we're gonna put a woman in it it's a very incest forward story right the boundaries being yeah he was he was doing it all yeah yeah there's some freudian shit in there like in episode seven ray is the lead the protag we'll call her short for protagonist it's an industry term what wait slow down movie still very barely passes the Bechdel test. Really? I haven't seen that one yet. Oh. She has a very quick conversation with General...

What's the general requirements of this test? So the Bechdel test is that there has to be two female characters in the movie that ideally both have names that talk about something other than a man and a conversation. Oh, okay. And that's all it is. So even if there's something where two women talk about the other than a man and a conversation. Oh, okay. And that's all it is. So even if there's something where two women talk about the weather for two seconds, it technically passes.

Right. So it's not hard to pass. It's not hard, but most movies don't pass it. Because in most cases, if there are even two female characters who speak to each other, it's usually about a male character or a man in the movie or something. They're talking about a man. Devil Wears Prada passes. Probably. Oh, hell yeah.

Like, man, they were talking about all types of shit. Right away. I love, oh, man, I want to watch that movie. It's such a good movie. I love it so much. Now I'm just here trying to think of movies like, what movies? It's not, I mean, there's... Where they just be talking.

Where they just let these ladies just talk. Um, not many. The sister, y'all, y'all sisterhood. Oh yeah.

Oh definitely. Probably also the sisterhood that I haven't, I haven't seen the, you know, fried green tomatoes. Oh. You ever seen fried green tomatoes?

I have seen it. don't remember well enough to know if it passed the test or not. They eat flesh, which is funny, at the end. Oh, what's the joint with Adam Sandler and the Spanish lady? Oh, Spanglish. Boom.

Good one. It passes? Yes. Really? I haven't seen it. I mean, I could see it. Her and her daughter, they talk about just everything. Oh, yeah, I forgot she has a daughter.

Yeah. Well, we're able to list five movies. Out of thousands. There's a great episode of Jane the Virgin. I love Jane the Virgin. It's bad. It's a good show, but it's bad that I've seen it so many times. But they have a whole storyline where the show is actively

trying to pass the Bechdel test all the time and it almost never does but it becomes just a running joke that it's like three main female characters, and they never, ever pass the test. They love those boys. I'm just trying to think of movies with mad women. Mad women.

I know they got lots of ladies. They gotta talk about something. They gotta talk about something. If there's at least six ladies in the cast. One of my favorite movies of all time. What about Julia and Julia? Oh, well, they never talk to each other. Oh, shit.

Okay, never mind. Because one of them is like living in the 1950s or something, and the other one is contemporary. I assumed all Meryl Streep movies would pass, but maybe not. Sophie's Choice. I don't know. I don't remember that movie very well either. One of my favorite movies is Thelma and Louise, and that passes. Absolutely.

That's a good movie. I'm trying to think if Florence Foster Jenkins passes. You've never seen it. Oh, I've seen it twice. I think I'm the only person who's ever seen Florence Foster Jenkins at all. Oh, wait, is that the one that came out pretty recently? Yeah.

She's an opera singer, but she's bad or something? Yeah, with the dude from the Big Bang Theory is in it. He plays the piano. I don't think it passes. Anyways, it's a good movie. I like it. Cool. Seen it twice. What is it called?

Florence. Florence Foster Jenkins. Check that out. So yeah, A New Hope fells back because it was no other lady. Nope. Yeah. Dang New Hope.

Yeah, I know. Because some movies come close. It's like, oh, well, at least two women talk to each other, but that doesn't even happen here. Yeah, no. Nah, she's just... Poor Leia.

Poor Leia. Got no other ladies. Sometimes you gotta talk about your periods. Do you do? Do space ladies have periods? Yes. Call Lucas Ranch. In fact, I think that Princess Leia is extraordinarily brave for wearing that

white cloak all through the movie because she's bleeding at some point and leakage can happen. The balls. There might be some like ultra space tampons. But there might be like some, that's all I have to say, they might just not even, because you see how they was giving birth with them robots

and they would just wave on the stomach. Yeah, what would a space tampon be like? What you call it, when she had Leia and Luke? Oh, in episode three. Yeah, so. Yeah, she's still delivering the babies out of her uterus. Right, but they might have some weird way to catch all the period blood. Like a period tube.

It's a tuft of looking fur. Well, like astronauts probably do something weird when they're. I don't want to continue this conversation. Largely, nope, it's happening. Astronauts largely use period suppression, which is like just taking hormonal birth control so that they don't have their periods anymore. But that would be kind of

like if you're just floating around and then you're like, oh no. Why do astronauts do that? You can't wear a period, but we'll just fly everywhere. Well, they gotta be able to pee. Oh yeah, how do they? They wear diapers. And they pee in space. Oh, yeah. How did they, is that until like a... They wear diapers and they pee into...

They're space diapers? They pee into these like diaper thing and there's some ingredient. Why do you know all this? I was in Young Astronauts.

Thank you very much. It's an organization. Did you go to space? You're a dork, man. What the hell? You are such a dork. Every time, every time I learn something new, you dig yourself deeper and deeper.

That is so cool. I was in Young Astronauts. I was in Girl Scouts. I was in Mock Trial. I was in Mock Trial. I was in the Chess Club. Oh, yeah? What'd you do?

Were you a lawyer? Yes. Nice. Hell yeah. I was an expert witness. I was a psychic. You're lame. Why do you even make the nerd thing lame?

I was an expert with it. Who says that? Anyway. I was cool. I also played soccer. I was like a cool-ass job kid. Oh, my God. I would push you all the time if we were in the same school when we were kids.

Oh, my God. You absolutely would have been my bully. I was like, I bullied a lot been my bully. I was like, I bullied a lot of people, but I was like a loving bully. So like all my, all my bullies like have love for me. Cause I'm like,

you're a loser. And then I'd like, here's a, here's a cool hat. Just be cooler. You try to fix them. Yeah. Like montage style.

I, I was always like a, at least just overstone and, and clueless. Yeah. Yeah. And they were always like Alicia Silverstone and Clueless and they were always like my ties oh okay that's a good comparison I ran into someone from high school the other day it was bad

she was kind of she kind of still bullied me like two nights ago she fucking twisted that knife one last time I was doing this show and like the one my one saving grace in high school was that I was on the dance team. Everything else, unfuckable. Dance team, okay. And I was the co-captain with her.

Class of 2010. Very exciting. And then she showed up at this show I did in San Francisco the other night with her fiancé, and they hated the show. They absolutely hated it and afterwards they're like, do you want to get tapas? Which, no, but I went and then when we were there her fiance

was like, so were you guys best friends in high school? And she was like, not really. We worked together at times, but Jamie was doing her own thing which is just code for you fucking sucked I was like man

you're a lame nerd and I hated you yeah I mean not wrong but also why bring it up all this time later why do you like that yeah why'd you show up if you just wanted to tell me I suck appreciate the effort though you know it's like thanks for supporting live comedy.

You know what I mean? Cool. So yeah, in conclusion, this movie, I'll be rated on a scale of one to, zero to five nipples

and five nipples being it does a really good job in terms of treating its female characters. I'll go first. I love this franchise. I love Star Wars because there's only

one female character. So for this rating purpose, I will give it two nipples. And they both belong to Princess Leia, and they are perfect because I like her. This got weird and creepy. Her nipples are perfect. I give it one horny for your brother nipple good yep would you like to rate the movie yeah i'm thinking how many because she was like she was shooting she was doing stuff so i can't say zero i'm gonna give it one and a half nipples all right yeah yeah we're pretty pretty ballpark for all of us.

Yeah, like, you know, I don't want to say two. I think that's too much. I was too generous. One's too little, though. That's because you're horny for Leia. I'm giving the half for the time that it came out. That's what the half is really for.

They pushed the boundaries for the time. Can I say that I want to be the the third whale if like uh leah and han were fucking i want to be like the other one to prop them up i want to be there is that what that setup was for earlier no i just i just thought of like a 20 minute lead i want so much more for you caitlin so do i Don't third wheel yourself. You better than a third wheel. Hashtag third wheel. You know what? I do deserve better. Am I getting better? No, I'm not.

I'm not. You're not a third wheel. You're not. You're one of the primary wheels. You're definitely a primary wheel. Let's hope so. Well, that concludes this episode. You can follow us at Bechtelcast on Twitter.

Like and subscribe to us on iTunes. We're working on other platforms as well. We'll see. It's a slow process. We just don't know. We don't know. You can email us if you want at thebechtelcast at gmail.com. Sam, is there anything you want to plug?

Where can people find you online? At Sam, S-A-M-J-A-Y comic, Twitter and Instagram. Nice. Yeah. Anything you want to put out into the world, Jamie? You can find me at Hamburger Phone. And no, I just hope my hamster survives the week. That's right. Good luck to your hamster. What's his name? Her name? I don't have a name for it because that gives it a level of permanence that I'm not ready to commit to right now. And you also called it an it, so it's genderless as far as I'm concerned. She fucking hates me. Oh, no.

Yeah. Well, best of luck to you and your hamster. Well, thank you. You can follow me at Caitlin Durante on Twitter. And I think that's it. Thanks for being here, Sam. This was a lot of fun. Take care, everyone. Bye. Peace.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. To listen to new episodes one week early and 100% ad-free, subscribe to the iHeart True Crime

Plus channel, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. and try to convince my high school to change their racist mascot, the Rebels, into something everyone in the South loves, the Biscuits. I was a lady Rebel. Like, what does that even mean? It's right here in black and white in print. It's bigger than a flag or mascot. Listen to Rebel Spirit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the

ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology, swaps of different meds, but by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care. Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.