The Bechdel Cast - The Breakfast Club
Episode Date: February 28, 2019On this live episode recorded at San Francisco Sketchfest, Caitlin and Jamie discuss The Breakfast Club and hereby sentence the movie to Saturday detention.(This episode contains spoilers)For Bechdel ...bonuses, sign up for our Patreon at patreon.com/bechdelcast.Follow us on Twitter @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Oh, hi.
Hi, everybody.
It's us.
It's us.
We're just here to let you know that you'll be listening to our Breakfast Club episode, which you do know.
But what you may not know is that this episode was recorded live last month in San Francisco.
Ever heard of San Francisco?
I have.
We were there for like a whole 12 hours.
Yes, we were.
Yeah, we just wanted to say hello.
We wanted to let you know if you live in the Los Angeles area, we have a live crossover
show coming up in march
with the daily zeitgeist that's right it is on march 9th it is at dynasty typewriter
and we will be there with jack and miles of the daily zeitgeist and we're going to be talking The news, the trends, the movies. The moments of 1999.
So if you live in the area, definitely roll the fuck through.
We would love to meet you and hang.
And, you know, we don't like to make it a habit to be on stage with men.
But what did you think I was going to say?
With friends?
I thought you were just going to say on stage
in general and I was like we
do live shows all the time.
No, no, no. We don't like to be seen
with men very often
but you know we're making an exception
one night only and we'd love to see you there.
Yes, so get tickets at Bechdelcast.com
and then click on live appearances
and we'll see you there.
Enjoy the live show on the
breakfast club on the beckdel cast the questions asked if movies have women in them are all their
discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism the patriarchy's effing Start changing it with the Bechdel cast Hi, San Francisco!
How's it going?
What's up?
You went all out. You said the name of the city and everything.
Hi, I'm Caitlin.
I'm Jamie.
And we're the Bechdel cast. Thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
We are indeed in San Francisco.
It is rainy. It is 5.30 p.m.
We are shocked and thrilled you're here.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
Clap if you've heard the Bechtel cast before.
Okay.
And not to put anyone on blast, there's no wrong answer.
But obviously there is, based on what you just heard.
But clap if you haven't heard our show before.
Okay.
Are you here with friends?
Did friends drag you along?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
We'll put on the best possible show.
We'll do our best.
We'll do our best.
As usual, that is all we can guarantee.
So if you haven't listened before, the Bechdel cast is a podcast where Caitlin and I, for 500 years now,
have been analyzing the role and treatment of women and female characters in famous movies.
That's right.
And we use the Bechdel test as a jumping off point. It's a media test that requires that two female
identifying characters
with names
speak to each other
in the movie
that they're in
for at least
a two line exchange
and they cannot
talk about men.
No.
Boo.
Hard.
Hard.
Yeah.
Let's see if we can do it.
I know.
Okay.
Right now.
Yeah.
Jamie.
Caitlin. That's it we can do it. I know, okay. Right now. Yeah. Jamie. Caitlin.
That's it.
We did it.
It was pretty fucking incredible what you can do.
So we're covering The Breakfast Club today.
Is there anyone who has not seen this movie?
Round of applause.
Oh, okay.
Someone sat right in front.
Eager for knowledge.
We were talking about how The Breakfast Club kind of sounds like the Bechdel cast.
Right?
Except we wouldn't let John Hughes anywhere near us.
What is your history with the movie, Jamie?
Judd Nelson made my mom really horny.
That's the most...
No, I saw this movie in high school,
and I thought it was fine.
I saw it in college, I thought it was fine.
And then I saw it a few days ago, and I thought it was fine. I saw it in college. I thought it was fine. And then I saw it a few days ago,
and I thought it was fine.
I don't like...
I just...
You know, I just...
John Hughes movies just don't do much for me,
even if they're, like, not promoting rape.
Like, it's just not...
He's just not my...
Except for some parts of Uncle Buck.
Oh, sure.
I like Trains, Plan planes, and automobiles.
I think that's my favorite.
What is that about?
Well, it's Steve Martin and John Candy,
so already I'm not passing the Bechdel test.
They hate each other.
They use a lot of modes of transportation.
That's pretty much it.
That sounds pretty good.
It's fun.
I would watch that.
So it's just the two of us today.
We don't have a guest.
It is.
Oh, I forgot about my history with the movie.
Yeah.
We've never done this before.
Sorry.
This is our first day.
This is our first episode.
My history with the movie is I saw it for the first time in high school.
I think one of my English teachers was like,
hey, kids, ew.
He encouraged us to watch the movie as an assignment.
I don't know.
It was something about we watched it in school
or something like that.
And that teacher was later fired.
Not for that.
He was fired because it was discovered
that he was an erotic dancer.
Oh, that's not fair.
I don't think he should have been fired
as a teacher for that.
Hold on, this story has taken a turn.
I thought you were about to say
how he's a molester.
It's like, sure, everyone had a teacher
who turned out to be a molester. Oh, like, sure, everyone had a teacher who turned out to be a molester.
Oh, okay. See, that was
my track coach.
But that's not fair.
No. That's tough.
This is kind of like a cool, old person
movie to show young people. They're like,
I get it.
You want to see Emilio Estevez cry?
I get it.
Yeah, sure.
I guess he really leveled with me.
Should I do the recap?
Yeah, let's do the recap.
People love a recap.
And we don't have a guest,
so that means I get to interrupt twice as much,
which is pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
The movie opens with glass shattering?
No, it opens
with a David Bowie quote
and then glass shattering.
And then glass shattering.
Sorry.
We were like,
okay, what decade
are we in here?
Is it like John Hughes
or Charlie Brooker?
Am I right?
It's a black mirror joke.
Stop making fun
of Charlie Brooker.
Computers are actually bad.
What?
Yeah, technology is actually a little scary.
Aren't you a hacker, though?
Yeah.
That show is Charlie Brooker warning everyone about me.
Speaking of hackers, though,
there is, like, in the beginning,
with the montage of all the quick cuts of, like, the shows a classroom and one of the signs there's like a sign hanging up
in the classroom that says hackers will be expelled has anyone noticed that yeah it's go
back and watch it has been persecuted yeah okay so anyways the movie opens we meet five students
they have detention for nine hours.
Is that normal?
Did anyone have anything like this at their school?
You just have to spend a feature-length amount of time with people?
No, it's like all three Lord of the Rings movies' worth of time.
Yeah, I feel like that's asking for someone to get beat up.
Like if you leave five teenagers in a room together for nine hours,
someone's going to get hurt.
Yeah.
That's just how teens work.
So the five students we meet are Claire, the princess, Molly Ringwald.
She's like the rich, popular girl type.
We've got Andy Clark, the athlete.
That's Emilio Estevez, his character.
Yeah.
He does cry. Yeah. They all cry, I think. Brian, a.k. Clark, the athlete. That's Emilio Estevez, his character. He does cry.
Yeah.
They all cry, I think.
Brian, a.k.a. the brain.
Anthony Michael Hall.
Great name anagram, am I right?
Anthony Michael Hall does not rape anyone in this John Hughes movie, so that's good.
Right.
You've seen 16 Candles.
Watch 16 Candles.
You get a very different Anthony Michael Hall.
Actually, you kind of get the same character, but a rapist.
True.
Wild.
Allison Reynolds is the basket case.
That's Ally Sheedy's character.
She's not like the other girls.
True.
And finally, Bender's the criminal.
That's Judd Nelson's character.
He's 26 years old.
He's 26 in this movie.
Kissing a 16-year-old Molly Ringwald.
And just a behind-the-scenes fact that I found freaky,
like a lot of male actors choose
because they won't get in trouble if they do,
Judd Nelson was like,
I think I'm going to go method with this
and just bullied Molly Ringwald for the entirety of the movie.
He's 10 years older than her. Offset, right? and and john hughes at one point tried to fire him and then all the teens
were like no it was a i don't i can't make heads or tails of that but it's true anytime a man thinks
he's going method he just wants to yell at someone like that's just literally what it is. Also, we talked in the car
on the way up here that the members
of the Breakfast Club are also
sort of the Spice Girls.
Break this down, please.
Sporty Spice. Obviously, Emilio Estevez.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scary Spice is
Judd Nelson.
See, this is where we don't...
Okay, all right.
Let me make a case for this.
Wow, audible groans.
Jesus.
San Francisco.
We thought that...
Posh is Molly Ringwald.
Can we agree with that?
Baby, we said, was Anthony Michael Hall
because he's innocent and blonde.
A flesh-colored headed hair person
if I've ever seen one.
I know, I'm aware.
That would make Ginger
Ally Sheedy's character.
It's not a one-to-one match,
but we've got a solid three out of five.
But then also Ginger is,
like Molly Ringwald is gingery based on hair color alone.
Sorry to reduce women to their hair color.
We're digging a hole here.
Anyway, let's move on.
We've got Richard Vernon.
He's the teacher principal character.
He's the assistant principal.
And they're often, I feel like that's like a stock character of like the put upon assistant principal and they're often I feel like that's a stock character
of the put upon assistant principal
Isn't Captain Underpants
an assistant principal?
Or was he the principal?
I think he was the assistant principal
Just a scholarly observation
And he's like this disciplinarian
He's like you guys can't talk, you can't move
and I have to write an essay about who they think they are Then Bender, he's like this disciplinarian. He's like, you guys can't talk, you can't move, blah, blah, blah. And they have to write an essay about who they think they are.
Then Bender, he's like the tough guy.
He's trying to get a rise out of everybody.
He's like, you're a nerd.
And everyone's like, well, you're a jock.
And then they're all just hating each other because of their...
They all call each other labels.
Because teens?
But they mostly ignore the quote-unquote basket case girl,
and then she doesn't talk for most of the movie.
Then we see a montage.
There's a lot of dancing montages.
They're doing their stuff.
Take out the dancing montages.
This movie's 35 minutes long.
A lot of dancing montages.
There's a shot where Anthony Michael Hall's character
is adjusting his crotch
and then puts his hat on his lap.
Are we to believe that he got a bonar?
I don't know.
I hope not.
Hard to say.
Hard to say.
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
We can't know.
Okay.
So it's hard because there's kind of not a plot,
so I don't know how to recap this.
They could only afford three rooms to shoot the movie in,
so they got to emote in a lot of different confined spaces.
I don't know.
They're just harassing.
Yeah, Ben's harassing Molly Ringwald for most of the movie.
It's time for lunch.
Calling her all manner of horrible names.
They eat lunch at some point.
And then there's this conversation where Brian is like,
I'm a virgin, but I'm embarrassed to admit it.
And then Molly Ringwald's like, I think virgins are cool.
And then everyone's like, oh.
And everyone's like, woo.
And then Judd Nelsonelson's like what are you
guys talking about um you know a lot of points are brought up yeah um the bender character uh
reveals that he's being physically abused at home by his father we learn different sort of
backstories of each of the characters uh like ali sheedy's character, is ignored by her parents.
Which is why she's eating dog food or something.
I saw too much of myself in her.
I saw too much of myself in her.
I was like, okay, so she's like a teenager,
but she's like, but what do I do?
If she had access to Mike's Hard Lemonades,
she would be drinking Mike's Hard Lemonades.
She was saying she was drinking vodka,
but she can't even get her hands on an MHL.
Embarrassing.
So she eats pixie sticks on sandwiches instead.
She's not like the other girls, everyone.
She needs you to know.
And then there's a point where they go to Bender's locker
to get weed, and then they think,
and there is homophobic slurs written all over his locker.
Yeah.
And then they think they're going to get caught
because they are running around the halls
trying to dodge Vernon in a scene that is not unlike Titanic
where Jack and Rose are
running around the ship and then they come
upon a gate. Trying not to get caught by Billy Zane.
What Billy Zane was in this
movie? Too much heat.
He was busy being in Back to the
Future as one of Biff's cronies.
Oh, that's true. So playing a similar
character to the Judd Nelson character.
As long as Zane's getting work.
I can sleep at night.
So there's a gate,
and they can't go any farther,
just like Jack and Rose.
So they have to turn around,
they have to find another way,
and then...
And then one of them drowns.
No spoilers.
We won't tell you which character it is.
But in The Breakfast Club, bender is like i'll
sacrifice myself so he goes running around all crazy in the halls and gets caught so that the
others don't yeah and then there's also the scene prior to that where the assistant principal
verbally abuses bender and like just it that's like a tough scene to unpack.
At the beginning you're not
sure why Bender's being such a dick to
everyone but as the movie goes on
you start to understand
why. So by the time he's flailing
around and got the weed you're like
okay this is like
60% fine with me.
Right.
And then shortly after that,
whenever he gets caught by Vernon,
he locks Bender in a closet
and then tries to initiate a physical fight with him.
And then we see him kind of
Bender back down and not engage.
So maybe he's more sensitive than we all think he is.
Or maybe his teacher's trying to fight him.
Like an unhinged person.
Like, hey, everyone at this school likes me.
No one will believe me if I fight you.
I was like, what are you talking about?
Sicko.
And then Bender escapes through the air ducts
and gets back into the library.
Very Mission Impossible.
True.
And then he hides under a desk
because Vernon comes in
and that's when we get the famous and upsetting
underwear
crotch shot of Molly Ringwald's character.
Which we'll get. We'll get there.
Don't you worry.
And then they're all
they smoke the weed. There's
a million dance breaks. Super cool.
You cannot have an 80s teen movie without Kevin Bacon or Emilio Estevez
or someone just dancing for like five minutes straight.
Guys, remember when weed was cool still?
This movie brings you back to when weed was cool.
Right.
And not for dads trying to tell you they get it.
And then we get to the scene where they're all sitting around
and they're talking about sex.
Ever heard of it?
Who's horny, who's not.
That's not how it goes.
They're like all virgins, basically.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Bender's trying to like he's like he goes
back to berating claire for a bit they all talk about hey are we gonna be friends after this
and then claire's like i'm too popular she's a straight shooter yeah and then brian reveals that
he is failing shop right class And then the reason he got detention
is that he brought a gun to school
with the intention of committing suicide.
Right.
But with a flare gun,
which is played as a joke.
And it's, I don't know,
we can talk about that later.
It's weird, yeah.
Remember the days
when you could bring a weapon to school
and only get Saturday detention?
Like, what? Oh, goodness. the days when you could bring a weapon to school and only get saturday detention like what oh
goodness and then uh allison's like i didn't do anything to get detention i just showed up
but first she says a lot of fucked up stuff yes um and then yeah and then her her secret, as it were, whatever,
is that she is a compulsive liar.
Right.
And then they dance again, right?
Somehow they dance again.
At some point, these are recycling shots.
Earlier it was just Emilio Estevez dancing,
and then they dance as a group.
That's the video that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
was recreating when she was a student at Boston University.
Now is a great time to bring up
that I do have a master's degree in screenwriting
from Boston University.
Thank you so much.
Why would you cheer for that?
Unfortunately, AOC and I did not overlap at our time at BU but you know BU represent
okay wow I'm sorry Jamie I also went to college thank you so much. Guys, it's a fucking scam.
No one learned anything.
It's a fucking scam and we're all going to be in debt until we're dead.
Please buy our merch over there because we are drowning in student loan debt.
I took a class on Lost in college.
I'm just like, the show Lost?
Yeah, and I'm never going to own a home. It's just like they're the show lost and i'm never yeah and i'm never gonna own a
home you know it's just like sure worth it okay so after the dance where they all dance claire
gives allison a makeover because women right right we'll talk about that. And then Claire, for no reason it seems,
goes and kisses Bender on the collarbone.
Yeah, I mean, because after harassing her
for nine consecutive hours,
she's decided he's worn her down.
Really, really, really male writing going on there.
And then Andy, who sees Allison, is like,
wow, you're pretty.
You took your hoodie off.
I love you.
And then, meanwhile, Brian, who has no one to kiss,
is forced to do everyone's homework.
Which, honestly, is a wild power move that i thought was a little funny
because he because they were all like in that moment i was like brian you're seriously falling
for this right now like he's they're just like brian you're the smartest out of all of us which
they know is what he wants to hear and he's like yeah so and they're like so we were thinking you
would do i'm like this happens to like dorky kids in school all the time.
They don't fall for that shit after a while.
Brian's too old to be falling for that trick.
Grow up, Brian.
Don't write everyone's essay.
But he does.
And he's all like, you see us how you want to see us, Mr. Vernon.
Yeah, he kind of goes edgelord on you.
He's like, but we're all the criminal and princess
and basket case.
So teach
and I'm gonna...
Can you imagine if you were
a person doing their job
and someone left you that letter? I would literally be like,
yeah,
fine, and I would throw it away immediately. would literally be like, yeah, fine. And I would throw it away immediately.
I'd be like, yeah, awesome.
And then?
They all leave.
And then there are two hetero kisses.
And then old fingerless gloves
pumps his fist.
And then we all get to go home.
And that's the movie.
That is the movie.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16, 2017, was murdered.
There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate.
My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks.
Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.
And she paid the ultimate price.
Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right?
Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
The one, the only,
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The queen of comedy herself.
Get ready for a conversation
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Tune in for all the laughs,
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I feel some Sandra Bernhardt
in you.
Oh, my God.
I would love it.
I have to watch Lost. Oh, you have to. Oh, my God. I would love it. I have to watch Lost.
Oh, you have to.
No, I know.
I'm so behind.
Katherine Hanken's thing.
Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt Bjork's music.
I just was like, who is this person?
I got to hawk this slalom, Ludi.
Not hawk the slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it.
It was somehow gorgeous.
Yee, my slok, you hollum.
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I had fun with this because I'm not particularly attached to the movie.
Sure.
And a lot of it, I don't, I mean, things I appreciate about this movie are that it is a movie that,
even though it misfires in a lot of directions and ways we'll talk about,
it at least takes teenage characters seriously.
And for the most part,
we're seeing teenagers acting out and often harassing each other and teasing each other.
But at very least,
you get background for everyone in some context and
unlike a lot of other teen movies it doesn't go the direction of playing the adult in a totally
comical way too or like often if it's like a movie directed or marketed at young people it's like all
the teens get it and the adults are fucking idiots and they are, but you at least get background on them as well.
And I don't know.
Everyone felt at least there was attention given to every character,
even if a lot of it was like, no.
So I appreciated that.
Yeah, and I agree.
I don't have a special attachment to this movie either.
Again, I'm not like a huge
John Hughes fan. But I mean, he was doing what no one was really doing at that time. And this
is something that Molly Ringwald brings up in the piece that she wrote for The New Yorker,
where he kind of revolutionized stories for and about teenagers. So I understand why this is a beloved movie
then and still now.
And I think that one of the things
that I think it does pretty well,
and this is kind of mirroring what you were saying, Jamie,
but it spends time and attention
on each of the characters.
So we talk about the female characters,
and they are...
Although, I don't know about the
Ally Sheedy character
Well they're underrepresented in this movie
in general because you see
the Breakfast Club is
male character heavy and then the other
three adult, all three adult characters
you see are men. The assistant principal
Carl, cool janitor Carl
Shout out to my
freaking boy.
And then Emilio
Estevez's wild
and out dad who
isn't, who's Emilio Estevez's real
dad? Isn't it someone famous? Martin Sheen.
Martin Sheen. Missed opportunity.
What? Someone
is heckling Martin Sheen?
What's up?
President.
Dude, Aaron Sorkin was cancelled today.
Pay attention.
Come on.
But Martin Sheen,
Grayson and Frankie season five.
Oh. Yeah, you might know him from Grayson and Frankie.
I love that show. Anyways,
what were we talking about? Oh.
Too many men. That's a note.
True. But yeah, I mean, all three, love that show anyways what were we talking about oh too many men that's a note true
only but yeah i mean all three i think it was like a misstep and and to be generous with john
hughes who does not have a good track record uh in in a lot of respects making every adult
character presented uh male character is both weird and also not reflective
of the education system.
It just was like, I don't know,
it just seems like a dumb missed opportunity.
We see Brian's mom very briefly
and I don't think we see any other
parents, but she's like, study!
I mean, we see dad.
Amelia's daddy.
But in addition to that,
I don't think we see any other ones.
Yeah, and i think with
the molly ringwald character like so much attention is focused on her um which is good for our
discussion but with the basket case ali sheedy character she doesn't even say words until like
33 minutes into the movie or something like that. She's like acting vaguely feral.
Her character is confusing.
And it's weird because it comes out
that she's a compulsive liar,
which is played as a joke, basically.
Because they're like, oh, everything this.
But if you only have two female characters
and at the end you're like,
oh, this female character, one of the two?
Don't listen to a word she fucking says.
Not a true word comes out of this lady's mouth.
Not that she said much to begin with.
Because then she doesn't speak again until I think it's 59 minutes into the movie.
But the things she does say at the end are very dark.
She says that she has sex with her therapist as an underage girl like she says
some really dark stuff and and then to like say all that stuff and then just be like oh i'm a
compulsive liar teehee and then kiss emilio estevez is like first of all what and and that's like a very 1980s glazing over of a discussion of mental illness.
True.
And compulsive lying is a very blanket term that it's clear the writer doesn't understand
or has done any research on.
And he just kind of uses it ultimately as a way to be like,
well, hope you weren't listening to her because she's nuts.
But we made her pretty pretty so now she's
gonna kiss martin sheen's son yep like which is a bummer because i love ali sheedy and that
i mean it's it's weird because i feel like a lot of young women and and you know older women who
see that movie more closely aligned with her than with Claire
but the chasm between those
two people is like
no one is really either of
them but when I was a
teenager I was like well I guess I'm
the one eating dog food
because
no one invites me places
so I guess I'm just...
So that's not good.
Well, because one of the main things about this movie
is that we see all these trope characters.
So we see the princess character.
I guess a basket case was a trope or like a click or something
in the day but that means you see a representation on screen of women in these very tropey roles
but the whole point of the movie also is to say hey you might have this identity to some degree
based on like the click you're in or whatever but but you're a multidimensional person that has stuff to offer outside of that high school identity.
And that's like the theme of the movie.
But you still get these characters
who I would argue we don't really get to know well enough
or don't have that much nuance,
as much nuance as the movie wants you to think they have.
Right.
I mean, it's weird because in some ways they're like,
oh, all these high school trope characters are deeper than you think,
which the movie does do, but there's still that character.
Right.
There's still the football guy is footballing too hard.
You're like, okay.
Or she's too popular like there it's not really even
like subverting that much if you think about it that much because it's like molly ringwald you
know everyone has issues with their parents which is brought through in the movie pretty effectively
but it's not like uh another brilliant feminist sex high school musical where in the showstopper stick to the status quo,
you find out, hey, here's someone who's really academic,
but she loves to dance.
And here's a basketball star, Corbin Bleu.
Or no, no, it's Zeke.
Zeke, he's in basketball basketball but he loves to bake like
is that the Zac Efron character no he's not in this number he's playing basketball
he's busy okay but it's uh all that to say I just got really excited um
no but like it's not even that the characters in the breakfast club necessarily like contain multitudes
and are like
they're just like no I really am
popular
and it's not as easy as
it looks
and I have parents
you're just like okay
I don't know
there is some like posturing it does
that I don't know I think sometimes this movieuring it does that, I don't know.
I think sometimes this movie gets credit for work it's not necessarily doing.
Yeah.
And also, if there are five main characters,
and there's opportunities to see them interacting on screen
in different combinations, either one-on-one,
or maybe there's three of them,
I feel like one of the combinations that gets the least amount of attention in the movie
is the Claire-Allison relationship.
I mean, pretty much all of it's at the very end of the movie.
And that feels like a, like,
John Hughes doesn't understand
how to write teenage girls interacting
as many men don't.
Ooh, Great transition.
I have a little, okay.
So John Hughes, this is like phase two of John Hughes' career at this point,
where he starts out at a feminist Bible called the National Lampoon.
Whilst there, he writes some of the most offensive stuff i've ever heard yes uh for here are two
examples i'm able to say out loud but they're very this and this and this predates breakfast
club and it's not but worth it for context uh some short stories john John Hughes thought, right off the top of his head. A dog's tail has a boy watching his mother turn into a dog.
Yep.
Against His Will features an, quote, ugly, fat, unquote, woman who tries to rape a man at gunpoint in front of the man's wife and parents because she can't have sex otherwise.
Yep. Yeah. Okay. front of the man's wife and parents because she can't have sex otherwise yep yeah okay and then here's the the hughes engagement guide is an illustrated manual on how to protect yourself
against women it gives examples of women quote bullshitting to not put out unquote
and teaches readers how to do a quote quick, quickie pelvic exam, unquote, how to detect, quote,
signs of future fat, unquote, and how to determine
if a woman has ancestors of different races
based on what her relatives look like.
So.
That's our hero, John Hughes.
Yes, queen indeed there and and this i mean that makes it hard to
want to watch anything he does and and it is weird that you know like these were written as as
recently as within like five to seven years before he started making these serious teen movies so it's not as
surprising at all that he cannot write a competent female character there's a persona a john hughes
persona that existed prior to this that was quite contemptuous of women uh and and it is interesting
and bizarre that he you know a few years on decides that he is going to be like a
voice for teenage girls right going back to that specific relationship in the movie between claire
and allison the only like one-on-one interaction they have is toward the end whenever claire gives
allison a makeover because because according to John Hughes,
girls can't talk unless they're putting makeup on each other.
Well, and then prior to that,
it's very antagonistic between the two of them,
where these two characters have barely spoken the whole movie.
They may not have actually spoken to each other at all,
besides in passing,
before this scene where everyone's talking about sex,
and Judd Nelson's character for whatever reason
decides he's going to double down
on Molly Ringwald's character
again and is like, why won't you tell me
if you're a virgin? Because if you ask
it's like being a cop. You have to
tell people if you're a virgin.
So he decides
to start harassing her again and for
some kind of weird inex inexplicable reason,
Allison joins in and is kind of like,
no, why won't you tell him?
And it's hard to parse exactly what the intent of that scene is
like over 30 years later.
But I think that you're supposed to want to be like,
you're like, oh no, she should tell us.
It's like, no, no one ever owes any random
detention kids any of your personal information ever you know and but it it struck me as just
like frustrating and annoying that this is the first time we're actually getting an interaction
out of these characters and immediately and kind of in the story i think irrationally allison just turns on claire and starts harassing her there's
also another small example within the same scene where allison comes to claire's defense and she's
like actually don't bother but it's just so all over the place right that you're just like why
like because one of the first things she says is, it's a double-edged sword.
If you haven't had sex, you're a prude.
If you have, you're a slut,
which she's commenting on a very real double standard
for women and whether or not they've had sex.
But then she says, you know, you want to, but you can't.
And then you're a tease, right?
You're like, she calls her a tease several times.
Well, I think she's still, like,
making some sort of commentary there,
but it's weird that she does that
right after she, like, dunks on Molly Ringwald
for bullying her into, you know,
saying it one way or the other,
and it's just, I don't know.
I think this movie thinks that if anyone asks you
if you're a virgin, you're legally required to tell them
because people are treating molly ringwald like she is breaking the law by by not disclosing
um that transitions pretty well into a short scene earlier in the movie where um anthony michael
hall's character brian uh is being harassed by Judd Nelson,
which is 70% of the movie.
But he's being harassed,
and Judd Nelson, his move is like,
you're a virgin,
which is pretty true to high school.
But he's teasing Brian, calling him a virgin.
Brian's like, I'm not a virgin.
I've laid lots of times.
And you're like, yikes.
Dead giveaway, dude.
But then he starts to lie,
which also feels like, I don't know,
at least based on people I knew in high school,
that's a pretty authentic experience
of guys being like, no, I had sex all that time.
And then Judd Nelson's like, who?
And then he gestures at Molly Ringwald.
He's like, her.
And then Judd Nelson's like, Molly Ringwald, you fuck this guy?
And so this could be a very troubling scene.
The reason it works pretty well for me is that, I don't know.
I mean, Molly Ringwald finds out immediately she's right
there and she's like no and then you know like calls him out on it like don't do that and he
apologizes he's like but being a virgin's a loser and then she says what you said earlier like
being a virgin is actually awesome and then judd she's posh Posh Spice, yeah. Yes, yes. And then, you know, there are two virgins and a Judd.
Yeah, I don't know.
That scene worked for me way better than all the times
they're just piling on Molly Ringwald
to make her say something one way or the other.
And it's not just that.
I mean, it's the Judd Nelson character, fingerless gloves.
He's a little counterculture, everyone.
He spends almost the entire movie either sexually harassing her
by saying things like, hey, let's lock the doors
so we can impregnate the prom queen.
Which is a threat.
Yeah, that is a threat.
He asks Andy, he's like,
hey, did you give her
the hot beef injection?
I think is the line.
And then you're like,
oh yeah,
a 40-year-old man
thought of that.
Gross.
Or like the skirt scene
where he sees her.
He's under the desk.
Let's give some context
for that.
Yes.
So he's hiding under the desk. The b give some context for that. Yes. So he's hiding under the desk.
The Bender character
is because he can't be seen
by Vernon.
As he's under there
he sees Claire's underwear.
So this was a scene
that's not Molly Ringwald
in that scene.
Legally it could not be
Molly Ringwald in that scene.
But in the New Yorker essay from last year
that you were referencing earlier,
because Molly Ringwald is like 16, 17 when this is filmed,
so her mom is talking with John Hughes
almost as much as she is.
And there was one plot point
involving a naked female gym teacher
that they talked him out of including
because it was just perverted and weird.
But they could not talk him out of the underwear scene and that was something that molly ringwald's mom was like really frustrated and upset about and like john hughes would not
back down on it and so they had to hire a body double to come in and be you know the the skirt
yeah and um so that is why that scene is there it's just like that that is
such like a classic example of like here are two women telling you this is not okay and he's like
i'll hire someone else and you know just like flexes on them in this very gross way like if
if and it's also like safe to say if the actor you hired cannot legally do it
probably don't do it that is a great indication especially if the actor opposite them is 26 years
old like what are you gross yeah and then we're meant to i think so he sees her underwear and then we see him move his face closer into her crotch area
and then she yelps so we see her in frame rather than him then and she like yelps and then hard to
say what exactly happens but i think we can easily assume that he doesn't know what happens he
doesn't know but the basically the Bender character
assaults her. Yeah.
And then the reaction is
immediately afterwards her like
smacking him several times on the back
and then that doesn't
get brought up. I mean that just
They still make out at the end
and she gives him a diamond.
Yeah. God.
If every man that assaulted you you had to give a diamond. Yeah. God. If every man that assaulted you, you had to give a diamond.
It's for fucking God.
Johnny Hughes is disgusting.
Opposite of what happens in Titanic with the Billy's sitting.
It's very true. Defne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist
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I feel some Sandra Bernhardt in you.
Oh, my God, I would love it.
I have to watch Lost.
Oh, you have to.
No, I know, I'm so behind.
Katherine Hanken's thing.
Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt Bjork's music, and I just was like, who's your song? Oh, I love a ballad. I felt Bjork's music.
I just was like, who is this person?
I got to hawk this slalom, Lugie.
Not hawk the slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it.
It was somehow gorgeous.
Yee, my slok, you hollum.
Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I mean, the rundown of what Bender's character says to Claire is like, I mean, it really, there's a lot of anti-queer slurs thrown throughout this movie from all characters.
So you know that John Hughes just thinks,
it's Jill.
There's one speech, like monologue,
that Bender delivers to Claire
that is fat shaming her in the future.
Yeah.
Which is just insane.
He's harassing her, asking if she's a virgin all the time he's
making comments about how she couldn't you know get away from him if she wanted to she can't
resist him all this stuff yeah uh he screams you are a bitch at her loudly um at one point he kind
of he makes fun of and, who is a wrestler.
He's like, oh, I just admire any guy who rolls around on the floor with another guy.
And the implication that he's saying something homophobic.
So Bender, maybe not a good guy.
And yet, for reasons that are very unclear to at least me,
she goes into the broom closet that he is locked into because he was misbehaving so badly gives him a hickey and a diamond yeah so i i mean but this
is something we see again and again where i mean and he's not even wearing her down in a way that
movies usually do it where it's like please go out with me please please please he's just like you're a fucking bitch ramping it up the whole movie and then it's like after he assaults
her that she's like i'm gonna give him a chance like it's just not it's totally nonsensical right
the way that happens and it's like at least that's very clear to people now but it's just like
it's crazy i mean and that's not to say
that there isn't more context in layers to the bender character because there is and there's
like a lot of time devoted to his background and uh coming from an abusive household that scene we
were referencing with him and the assistant principal who is basically the whole time saying
that he can be abusive you know he's another another abusive paternal figure in Bender's life,
and he's allowed to do that because Bender is poor
and Bender's from an abusive household,
and no one will believe him if he says anything,
which is powerful stuff.
I was affected by it,
especially in that scene where the assistant principals fight me,
which is classic.
But
before that, that
bizarre initiation, he's
saying a lot of horrible stuff that
is recognizable
of an abusive
paternal figure.
It's even more of a bummer if you get
that side of effective storytelling,
but then you're also setting the standard of you have incredible empathy
for this character who is verbally abusing one of the only females
you get to see on screen for the entire time,
and that's not really reflected as something that's not okay to do.
So it's even more of a bummer of by the end of the movie,
it's hard not to love him in some way
or have a lot of empathy for him
while he's doing these horrible things
that are not really treated as horrible.
Right.
So it's a real...
We're gaslit once again.
God damn it.
Damn it.
And then, well, the other hetero romance
that ends up playing out
is a direct result of a makeover scene,
which is when Claire is putting the makeup on Allison
in the only, again, the only scene that they have together, one-on-one.
And then she says something like,
you look a lot better with all that black shit under your eyes.
And then the Hot Topic managers of the world shat themselves.
And then she completely changes the way Allison looks.
And I guess, did Claire just bring a whole other outfit
to school to give to her?
Not even a cute outfit, by the way.
Well, yeah, because she's got like a flower in her hair.
Her makeup is more traditional.
She's wearing pastel pink.
And then Andy sees her and he's like.
So basically.
My bonar.
So she's only attractive to Andy once she changes everything about her appearance.
Yeah.
And it doesn't occur to him that she is attractive
until she's adhering to this more conventional
feminine standard of beauty.
Right, which was part of the projected point of her character
was to subvert that.
But clearly, John Hughes is a lawless motherfucker.
And actually doesn't have much of a vested interest
of subverting much of anything.
Boom, ba-ba-boom.
Wow.
Anyways, one other point I wanted to hit on
for the Brian character,
who we don't really get to know before they're like,
hey, do our homework, dork.
And he's like, okay.
And then he writes shitty lyrics or whatever.
But he's characterized very late in the story.
And he says that, yeah, he was going to kill himself with a flare gun.
Which is worth saying is a very bizarre, reductive way to treat any suicidality or anything like that.
And it almost feels like an afterthought in the story of like, oh, shit.
Anthony Michael Hall's here.
What would he have done?
He already raped someone in the last movie.
I don't know what to do with him in this one um and then they sort of just i mean and it's it's weird because it it could be
an effective plot point that was thoughtfully told but he says it in like three sentences sort of
and then everyone is sort of like that's stupid and And he's like, you're right.
And so you're just like, oh, so he's cured of suicidal thoughts and tendencies?
Pretty sure that's not how that works.
No.
And then right after he's like,
you know, I recently almost killed myself,
they're like, tee hee hee, do our homework.
Yeah.
So that's not good.
I mean, it's one of many things that is not handled well in the movie.
No, it's not.
I guess the last thing I have is just checking out some of the Molly Ringwalds.
Yes.
She wrote the piece last year that we thought was like a really thoughtful look at the body of work that made
her famous highly recommend checking it out i like to think she wrote it between scenes of
riverdale being shot but we don't know the circumstances but let's say canonically it
was between of riverdale are there any particular passages you wanted to to point out or um let's
see I already kind of paraphrased a few of them so if you want to take a crack at any of yours
uh well basically she runs through a lot of stuff we were talking about today and just like
at the time when she was 16 17 shooting these movies she didn't recognize and hadn't been
conditioned to recognize the elements of rape culture and other things that appear in these movies aside from the things that she did notice and pointed
out and sometimes were ignored and sometimes weren't ignored and she gives a few examples of
those um she also gives a great anecdote talking with the woman from 16 candles who it's implied
that anthony michael hall's character rapes, and how they got lunch together,
and Molly Ringwald was like,
do you think this was fucked up?
And the lady was like, honestly, never thought about it.
And then, three hours later,
the actress who played that part emails her back,
and is like, oh my God.
That was incredibly fucked up.
And so it was just like a really interesting piece on, you know,
just sort of what we're trying to do is just, you know,
reflect on stuff without, you know, totally disowning it as a body of work,
but just, you know, viewing it more thoughtfully and critically.
I just wanted to read the thing she says, how she sort of closes the piece out.
She says, quote,
how are we meant to feel about art
that we both love and oppose?
What if we're in the unusual position
of having helped create it?
Erasing history is a dangerous road
when it comes to art.
Change is essential,
but so too is remembering the past
in all of its transgression and barbarism
so that we may properly gauge
how far we have come
and also how far we still need to
go, which I thought was just nice.
Yeah, that's kind of like the
thesis of the Bechdel cast.
And then
Cole Sprouse leans into the room and he's
like, we're shooting Riverdale over here.
And then
she had to go.
But up till then, it was
a great essay.
I will say
this is one of
a few teen movies
that doesn't end
in a prom
or doesn't have
some sort of prom
affiliated with it.
I honestly think
that if he had had
the budget
he would have anyway.
He probably would have.
But he didn't.
Prom is that night
and they've spent
nine hours in detention
so they're like,
we're tired
but I guess we'll go to prom.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, I mean.
and we're almost
out of time here too.
Caitlin.
Yeah.
Does this movie
pass the Bechdel test?
I am going to say yes.
I know.
Because speak your case.
Okay.
Well, okay, this one is worth kind of debating
because Allison says,
I'll do anything sexual and I don't need a million dollars to do it.
I mean, we can all relate.
Sorry, that was erasing asexual people, so i'm sorry to do that claire says you're lying
and then allison says i already have i've done just about everything there is except a few things
that are illegal again we can all relate um and then she says i'm a nymphomaniac but isn't she
implying heterosexuals yeah exactly so i. So I don't think that counts.
That one is probably a no,
but then Claire and Alison talk about makeup and they say,
don't stick me.
Don't stick that in my eye.
And Claire says,
you know,
you look a lot better with all that,
without all that black shit around your eye.
And then Alison says,
Hey,
I like that black shit.
And then Claire says says this looks a lot
better and then she's like why are you being so nice to me because you're letting me the end of
that conversation tragically that does pass that is the past that is the past but again it's two
women talking about confining to norms right yes very hyper feminine things hot so that is a yes hair, makeup. Right, yes. Very hyper-feminine things.
So that is a yes.
All right.
Well, John uses a feminist icon.
I take it all back.
I feel a little fucking stupid now
just saying all those things about him.
All right, shall we rate it on our nipple scale?
Yes, we should.
All right, let's rate it on our nipple scale? Yes, we should. All right, let's do it.
Wow.
If you're not familiar, our nipple scale,
we use a scale of zero to five nipples,
and we rate it based on its portrayal
and representation of women.
This one's kind of tricky for me
because it is an earlier example of seeing teen women on screen
who are not the way that they were portrayed in movies like Porky's and Revenge of the Nerds
and really awful movies.
Never say Porky's in front of me again.
I'm so sorry.
How dare they make a movie called Porky's? So we're seeing more nuanced depictions of teen girls,
but again, I would argue not as nuanced
as the movie wants you to think.
They're still fairly tropey,
and we do get to know them,
and these characters especially,
the Molly Ringwald character
is more developed of a character
than we had seen in a teen girl kind of up until that
point but the way that she is treated especially by the jed nelson character and then forced into
a hetero kiss with him the movie forcing her because she is the one who goes and kisses him
which is like why did you do that He threatened to rape you nine hours ago.
And then he did assault you.
Right.
It's just, ugh.
So there's a lot of missteps like that.
Worth noting that this is an extremely white movie.
In fact, I mean, it's 100% a white movie.
Yeah, in all of John Hughes' movies.
Except for the long ducked-on character
in Sixteen Candles, which is...
I'm so sorry, you're right.
He's an icon of representation.
Yeah, so I think...
I know this is a beloved movie.
I know it explores themes
that still resonate with us today.
But I think it is very obviously
a 1985
movie. 85? 85.
84. 85?
Go on once, go twice.
It's in 1984.
Oh, right. Okay. For some reason, Detention's
in 84. Yes.
Movie's in 85.
Who knows why? I'm gonna give it
one and a half.
Okay.
Is that wrong?
I hate doing this at live shows because I'm like, I'm wrong.
Everyone goes.
She said one and a half.
One and a half.
Let her live.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Who are you giving the nips to? I'm going to give one to Molly Ringwald. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah.
Who are you giving the nips to?
I'm going to give one to Molly Ringwald.
I'm going to throw my half nipple to Anthony Michael Hall.
As unexpected of a twist that may be.
I'm upset by this too. I have more of an issue with that.
I know.
I don't know why I did that.
You're rating. I'm upset by this too I have more of an issue with that I know I don't know why I did that I'm gonna give it a half nipple
because
women are there
which not all movies
get to
I don't know I don't think that
this movie or John Hughes's
entire body of work is like
as subversive as
people make it out to be.
And it might be partially because I'm not attached to it and was never
really a fan of it,
but I just,
you know,
you learn about,
I like,
you learn about Molly Ringwald's character,
but that doesn't mean that her character isn't totally sold out by the
writer by the end of the movie.
And you don't really learn anything about,
uh,
Ali Sheedy's character. And she's also sold out by the writer by the end of the movie and you don't really learn anything about Ally Sheedy's character
and she's also sold out by the end of the
movie and so it's really
I mean I guess you know it's like
the two female characters I
thought were made by the writer
to act very irrationally at the
end of the movie in a way that in the first
hour plus of the movie you would not expect
them to act based on like a strong
foundation and then
at the end they're just like no you gotta you gotta have a kiss like so i feel for for both of
those characters that like had some promise and then were kind of sold out and i also feel for
anthony michael hall because he had to do everyone's homework yeah and that's not cool. Half a nipple, and I'm giving it to the janitor. Hell yeah.
Who is hot.
Who is hot.
He's hot and confident.
Because the quick montage at the very beginning in which you do see the hackers will be expelled frame,
there's another shot where it's like men.
Ugh, gross.
But one of them's like, man of the year.
There's like a photo, and it's a photo of Carl.
He was man of the year when he was in high school.
I love Carl.
We didn't get to talk about Carl,
but Carl is one of the most fully realized characters in the movie.
When everyone's trying to be like, you're a janitor,
he's like, fuck you, I'm a janitor.
And I was like, yeah, Carl, he fucking rules.
He dunks on everyone.
Anyone who talks back to Carl, he's like, you can't touch me.
I'm the most confident man alive.
He goes home and has sex every day.
He's man of the year in my book.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
Well, that's our show.
Thanks for coming.
Thank you for coming.
All right, that was that. Thank you for coming. All right.
That was that.
That was the episode.
That was so much fun.
We wanted to thank everyone who came to the San Francisco show.
The turnout was way more than we were expecting.
For sure.
We had 150 people in a venue that was not necessarily supposed to hold that many people.
Right.
Which was so great.
And speaking of the venue thanks for
having us uh we were at piano fight yeah it's part of the san francisco sketch festival so
shouts out to sketch fest for having us shouts out to piano fight for for having us there um
thank you so much to our friend friend of the cast sammy junio for recording the show for us
for being our road dog for that whole tour you'll be hearing a lot about them in the next couple weeks as we release these episodes indeed and also big thanks
to our friend katherine leon who was at the show and was helping us sell merch and just like stay
organized and stuff so she's an angel big thanks to katherine thanks friends also big thanks to
anyone who bought merch at that show yeah Yeah. That helped us out a lot.
Yeah.
We'll be back in San Francisco sometime soon.
Soon.
Yeah.
And as for you, listening person, wherever you are, we'll see you next week.
See you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was
assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unnerves the
plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were
turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti.
And I'm Jermaine Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career.
That's where we come in.
Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice.
And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Maury Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us
a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts. Hey, everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting
news for you. You know, we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right?
Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
The one, the only, Katherine Hahn is joining us on Las Culturistas.
That's right, the queen of comedy herself.
Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful.
Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.
Don't miss Katherine Hahn on Las Culturistas.
Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.