The Bechdel Cast - Titanic: VHS Tape 1
Episode Date: February 16, 2023It's Jamie and Caitlin's favorite holiday -- the 25th Anniversary of the release of James Cameron's Titanic -- and they're celebrating with an extra special Titanic episode. Here's VHS Tape 1! For Bec...hdel bonuses, sign up for our Patreon at patreon.com/bechdelcast. Follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP on Twitter. Visit linktr.ee/bechdelcast for tickets to our on-demand shows -- "The Goonies with Sarah Marshall" and "Hannah Montana: The Movie with Robert Evans" Check out the Queer Quadrant podcast episode that Jamie and Caitlin guested on entitled “Titanic with The Bechdel Cast”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hello, friends.
Titanic doesn't make that noise.
That noise is from SpongeBob SquarePants.
Sure, but Titanic makes like a...
A what?
A...
Ah, yes, yes. Now that you do that, I do remember that.
Yes.
Welcome to the Bechtelcast.
Here we are, Titanic volume seven.
Oh my gosh.
So here's what has happened, listeners.
We recorded an episode that is very long on Titanic.
So we are naturally breaking it up into two episodes.
You might even call them two VHS tapes, kind of like a tape one, tape two.
And what I think you're going to find as you listen to these two episodes
over the course of the next two weeks is some listeners are going to skew
a little more tape one.
Other listeners are going to skew a little more tape two.
And it just kind of depends on what your genre preferences are.
So true.
Do you like a solid recap or do you like unmitigated action-y chaos?
You know, this episode has everything
and i really i mean caitlin i'm i'm sure we talk about this in the episode also but every single
year when we do this episode again we always think this is the year that we will have nothing to talk
about and we will have to sort of start easing off of the titanic episodes but guess what as if
this may be our longest yet we maybe have
more to say than ever before which is kind of i was honestly kind of shocked not me i know that
our titanic episodes show like exponential growth or like you know like something about like
compounded interest like that book one grain book, One Grain of Rice.
I'm not a person in STEM, but I do understand enough math to know that our Titanic episodes will always get longer and longer and longer.
And that's just science.
There's going to be more.
And as we record this today, not to shock everyone,
but we're going to see Titanic in a gigantic group tonight.
Caitlin spearheaded the operation.
And I think we've just about filled the theater with people that we know who want to see Titanic in a gigantic group tonight. Caitlin spearheaded the operation. And I think we've just about filled the theater with people that we know who want to see Titanic. Because
guess what? Everyone wants to see Titanic. They're not fools. Exactly. I emailed all of my friends
and I said, treat this as though it's my wedding. I'm not going to actually have a wedding. This is
the equivalent of the big romantic event of my life you don't
have to bring me gifts but you can if you want and please just make sure you come and support me on
this day the best day of my life so that's what's happening this evening I can't wait I mean I hope
that you're wearing a gown or a tux I mean look whatever I'm cosplaying as fabrizio which you've yes i mean and that's that's
a solid fit it really and i i would like to have a wedding someday but i would also like to make
people watch titanic at it um wouldn't that be a horrific that would be on scale with the titanic
in terms of an inescapable hostage situation where everyone is like praying for death
disagree disagree
I think that people will be like more
more yeah oh you'll be
you'll be cheering you'll be doing a Rocky Horror Picture
Show kind of thing in front which honestly
I think we've filled this theater enough
that oh I mean the poor
two other people
but we could do a full rocky horror like jack and rose
we've i mean we've read we've done the script before we've been wanting to do a live show
maybe that's what we'll end up talking about next year is the uh titanic from memory which would
just be a performance of the movie titanic from us it's not like i we lack the chops. Yeah, we got this.
Anyway, so what you're about to hear on VHS tape one, the episode that you're listening to right now, you know, it's just Jamie and I doing our history with Titanic and Titanic episodes we've done, which have mostly been on the Matreon.
So don't forget to scoot on over to the Matreon we've done a lot of beautiful there's the
drunk one there's a commentary track there's the one where we watch the cartoon based off of the
titanic that was made in italy that makes no sense yeah we've watched everything we've done it all
and while i'm plugging stuff while we're plugging out here yeah just a sidebar we did some
live shows recently in portland that we also live streamed with sarah marshall and robert evans and
guess what if you missed the live streams those shows are now on demand you can buy a ticket to
access them on demand so you can still see them and if you want to do that the tickets to access those on demand
shows are on our link tree link tree slash spectral cast and you should really check those
out because they were a hoot and a holler fun we're going to be releasing truncated versions
of those shows but yeah that we did the goonies with sarah marshall so much fun and then we did
uh the hannah montana movie with robert ev So much fun. And then we did the Hannah Montana movie with Robert Evans.
And you're really going to want the live stream
because we do wear Hannah Montana wigs
and Robert brought a bunch of knives.
And that is not going to come through on the audio.
So you just need to, it needs to be seen to be believed.
A spectacle much like the movie Titanic, so.
Yeah.
Oh, we're not i mean and have i
listened to titanic just audio walking around absolutely but it's not the same no it's not
i wish we could release our live streams in 3d but maybe you know in 25 years we can release
and then you can see me accidentally throw a knife at the audience you don't feel like it's coming at you exactly yeah i mean and and just in
general i mean to everyone who came to our uh to our shows in la in san francisco in portland and
in seattle thank you so much uh we had such a good time we haven't been on like a proper tour
in a proper tool in like three years it's true and we it was like such a fun kind of i mean i don't know our
listeners are the best so and and and we get you know we're just uh talking on our computers most
of the time and it's just like oh yeah people listen to this show and it's fun and everyone's
so sweet and so everyone who came thank you so much and everyone who didn't come because they
don't live in those four cities uh we're going to be doing more shows soon.
So relax.
Get in the lifeboat.
Chill.
Carpathia is on the way.
That's us.
Wow.
We have big time Carpathia vibes.
Do you think?
I think so.
Maybe we're not the biggest boat in the world.
But we come to the rescue.
We're going to get you home, babe. You're going to be so thrilled when we show up. Even but we come to the rescue we're gonna get you home babe
you're gonna be so thrilled when we show up even if we weren't the first choice
oh my god that's so depressing if you're like the carpathia in a relationship
sloppy seconds in a way no wow but the carpathia i mean, well, what a deep cut Titanic joke that was.
But that's what the listeners are here for. Yes. So you're about to hear Jamie and I chat about
some Titanic movie history, some current events as they relate to the movie Titanic,
things like that. Some trivia we'd never heard of before and then vhs tape number two
is a very long caitlin's famous recap plus jamie's fun facts corner yes i watched every uh every
single available commentary track for titanic it took so many hours so you have to listen to the
episode because my therapist was like you did what until four in the morning?
So, you know, please support my mental illness.
So please validate us by listening to both VHS tape episodes this week and next.
And without much further ado, here's VHS tape number one.
You know, Caitlin, I think you may get your headlines
caitlin tape one
nice nice sorry i was doing an impression of someone hearing that song for the first time
and you're just absolutely blown away that's me i feel like that's very like dad energy to be in
the audience for titanic and hearing the intro to that song and just nodding approvingly and being
like nice wow yeah beautiful music. Sometimes I feel like
dads. I mean, this is dad. I'm generalizing. But sometimes dads just need to like vocalize that
they're alive and have registered something in the world. It's like when they slap concrete walls,
and they're like, yeah, pretty. That's pretty strong. You're're like can we keep walking like can we please stop
hitting surfaces and observing noises quite so actively if that's not your dad maybe you've met
this dad look this is a celebration of that dad but that's yeah when that when when dad's i mean
and and in this this fictional dad i just made up
he went to titanic in theaters so how bad could he be he yeah he went twice he went twice yeah
because this fictional anecdote takes place in 2023 for the 25th he's seeing it again and he's
it's like but it's like seeing it for the first time so he's going nice oh my gosh so let's this
is a main feed episode too and we're already acting out what if this becomes another oh my gosh so let's this is a main feed episode too and we're already acting out
what if this becomes another oh my gosh what movie were we trying to talk about
for your birthday and then we just oh it was shape of water okay we're about to get off track
because i haven't shown you yes yes and i know i sent you a picture of it i'm pretty sure yes
but you did i received this in the mail the other day.
Listeners, this is an audio medium, but what you're looking at, look at this guy.
I know it.
It's an action figure of the sexy fish from The Shape of Water.
He comes with eggs.
Okay.
Check that shit out.
He comes with eggs and an angrier face in case you want to be mad.
In case he's hungry for a cat.
And he comes with swimmy feet in case you want to take him in the bath.
Well, look.
Wonderful.
I really cherish it.
And genuinely, I haven't chosen a display place for him yet.
But I think I might just have him kind of like looking at me where I work all day I think
it just I've just I that's what I've been doing so far and I feel good about it that's beautiful
thank you so much um so this is a reference to if you're not a matron first of all what are you
doing get it together secondly one time Jamie and I tried to record an episode on the fish of water the fish of water my brain um the shape of water and we went off the rails
because we started talking about the 311 cruise or something like that we can't get back into it
but i was like and it's coming up but okay, not today. So we released this very chaotic episode on the Matreon.
But today we are focused because it's another Titanic episode.
Is this our seventh Titanic episode?
I believe so, yes.
Which, may I pitch a title for this episode?
Oh, of course.
Titanic 777.
Yeah. Okay. I'm into it. it okay i guess we should introduce the show yes we should this is not your average episode listeners just so you know no it's turbo
but it's a yes hello my name is caitlin durante my name is Jamie Loftus, and this is The Bechtel Cast. It is a movie podcast that takes a look at your favorite movies, or not, using an intersectional feminist lens on a regular day.
Today, we are looking at the same movie that we both like for the seventh time from a different angle.
Now, this is film criticism at its highest level.
Yes.
Because it no longer quite makes sense.
But it's more of just like many good movies.
It's more of a vibe.
And you either get it or you don't.
Exactly.
That's sort of what a Bechdel cast Titanic episode is like.
And we actually have like normally we would release our titanic
episode in april to line up with uh rather morbidly it's occurred to me the past couple years
the sinking of the ship because it is an actual event that took place which not everybody knows
which is shocking but to line up with the sinking of the ship and my dad's birthday. Right. However, this year, you're wondering why now?
Why now?
Well, it's because we recently, we as a culture recently observed the 25th anniversary of Titanic,
which came out in 1997.
Wait, what?
Well, guess what else came out 25 years after Titanic?
Avatar 2.
And you can feel whatever way about that that you need to.
The point is, the Titanic re-release happened Valentine's Day, 2023.
And I believe, Caitlin, by the time our treasured listeners are hearing this episode,
will we have been together in IMAX?
I believe so.
Or is it just shy?
It will be within a day or two, if not the day.
I'm not totally sure because we're releasing this episode a few days after the re-release
of Titanic in theaters.
So hot, so horny.
Yeah.
I can't freaking wait.
And we will both have gone probably 20 times by the time you're hearing this.
Yeah, well, the when you're
listening to this if it's sometime in february 2023 it's safe to say that one of us is at titanic
yes i i realized it was possible for me to see it in three different states and i may end up doing
that so that's why the episode is coming out now we will not be observing titanic in april as we
normally do but next year we'll be back on
schedule exactly it was an emergency though and so um but this year we try to mix it up
in our titanic episodes every single time we do one all six times yes and i guess should we
yeah let's let's do a little recap of what we've done in the past shall we or should
we do a quick like should we stick to the Bexel cast and be like what's our history with the movie
Titanic really quick oh yeah oh my gosh is it necessary like this might be someone's first
episode and they don't know us at all that's always my fear it's my fear. What's your history with the... Oh. Really?
You go first.
You jump, I jump, right?
Ha ha, right.
That's my perfect Leonardo DiCaprio in distress impression.
Flawless.
My history with Titanic, it's the best movie in the whole world.
I love it so much.
I was too young to see it in theaters.
Brag.
Did end up seeing it on the 2VHS compilation,
The Iconic. Watched it with my cousin. Similar to you, Caitlin, spoiler, practically every day for long stretches of time. When I was in middle school, I got self-conscious about how much I
loved the movie Titanic. And so then I masked it by getting really into the boat Titanic.
I was like,
it's not that I want to kiss.
It's that I love the ship carpentry,
which is an iconic lie that everyone definitely believed.
Nice.
However,
to maintain that lie,
I did learn a lot about the historic event i watched a night
to remember i read a night to remember whatever read the dear america series all the titanic
expanded universe that felt history adjacent i also read while still frantically wanting to
kiss everyone in the cast of titanic yes i used to sit on my porch roof every year from april 14th at 11 40 p.m till april 15th at 2 20 a.m my parents
did not like this but they just realized that it would be easier to let me do it than to tell me i
couldn't and they were like jamie there's so many like clear this is not one of them but there are
so many like clear instances of like mental illness i showed as a child that my parents were just like um she's a very precocious girl like every
single thing but so like I had speaking to that my child OCD I had a binder full of facts I had
learned about the Titanic that I just sort of had and when I learned a new one well you know I would
write it down and I put it right next to my series of unfortunate events facts binder that I also had because I just had a lot of binders full of information that were also written in this like code I had come up with.
So they are it's giving serial killer. It was it was a little it was a little frightening. And I say that with empathy for my younger self, but also when I look at these notebooks,
I still have them.
I do, it's bone chilling to look at them
because you're like, wow,
what adorable handwriting that is like,
this could be a threat.
Like it's scary.
Used to go to Titanic, the exhibit in Orlando.
Every time my family would go to Orlando,
I've since been in Vegas.
I missed it when it was here.
Have seen all the re-releases as they came out. So I have seen it in theaters before,
but I can't wait to see it again. I even dabbled into trying to get into Avatar for a long time
because I wanted to just support Jim. Also, my nickname was Jim in college because I thought
James Cameron was so cool. And I still kind of like when people
call me Jim it makes I know that it's like there's a weird little like masculine power itch that I
get when someone hits me with a gym I'm like that's exactly right and I'm gonna and I'm gonna
give you an instruction there I have an inner James Cameron that I'm trying to we all need to
kill the landlord in our head and the Jamesames cameron in our head i love this movie so much it's the perfect
movie i wrote a part for billy zane in a show that never came out like it just the list goes on
caitlin what's your history with the movie titanic oh my goodness i also deeply deeply love this movie i've pretty much cultivated an entire personality around
loving this movie and paddington are the kind of two oh is there a reference to titanic or
paddington better alert caitlin because these two movies are my entire personality um look as someone who receives 500
jpegs of alfred molina a day to the point where i'm like i also i have a heart i have a life i
have interests i've read a book stop um but also i think that i have a theory that truly like if
you're a public figure in any way shape or form, people cannot retain more than three things about you.
And that is just kind of like, I don't feel good or bad about it.
But it means I'm going to get a picture of a hot dog every single day until I die.
And I feel like it's much the same with you, Titanic, and Paddington.
And sometimes we get some pretty good shit.
People send us good stuff.
I'm not complaining.
Keep sending it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, baby.
But yes, I love this movie very much. I saw it for the first time in early 1998.
It was around 11 or 12.
I saw it at a drive-in movie theater and I was like,
well, this is the peak of cinema.
It's never getting better than this.
And you were right.
I mean, I feel like you've yet to be disproven.
It's true.
People have gotten close.
People have made some good attempts, but this is really the peak.
And then my mom bought the two VHSs for me later that year.
And I spent every day for an entire summer, often twice a day, watching both VHSs.
And I've just never looked back.
And I watched this movie.
You've never let go.
And I've never let go. And I've never let go, and I would never let go.
I watch this movie once a month at least,
sometimes more often.
I estimate that I've seen it well over 120 times,
and that's honestly cool of me.
We talked about this recently.
I think I'm closer to like the hundred mark yeah i'm
probably like a good 40 viewings behind you that's okay but i'm coming for you i do i do have a few
years on you so that tracks that's true there's time there's time um but yeah so this is our now
seventh episode on normally if you're a listener of the show, you know that we only cover each movie once, but Titanic is special.
Titanic is the movie of dreams.
And it is. It really is.
Yeah.
Let's take a quick break and then we will come right back.
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Oh, you have to.
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Oh, I'm really good at karaoke. What's your song? Yeah, what's your song? Oh, I love. I'm so behind. Katherine Honkin's thing. Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
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And we are back.
Should we go over kind of our
Titanic episodes that we've done in the past?
Because we've done quite a few.
We have. And I do feel
the need to, even though I don't think she would be she's upset
but like a parna nancherla was our first guest on titanic episodes and i feel like we
really came in pretty hot in that episode i just remember i don't remember really anything we said
during the episode i just remember a frenetic energy that was coursing through the
room in a building that has since been demolished yes by the way unfortunately and just catching
a glint of panic in Aparna's eyes if I'm being honest yeah a glint that said oh no I thought
we were just talking about Titanic I didn't know we were yelling about Titanic yeah I guess we did
not adequately prepare her for what we were going to
be like on that episode. Well, also, we didn't, to be fair, we didn't fully know. We hadn't,
we'd never done it. Yeah. And I think that the fact that we created a seismic kind of energy
in that room, it was impossible to know. And but but what was for sure was that we really appreciated a partner
tolerating it and that we had more to say than could fit in the space of a single episode true
that was for sure because that episode came out if i'm not mistaken in early-ish 2016
no it'd been early 2017 okay podcast started late started late 2016. Oh, right. Okay.
So flash forward about a year to April 14th, 2018.
We release another Titanic episode on the Matreon.
Don't remember what we said on that one.
Could be anything.
If I'm remembering correctly, that was literally just like,
we didn't have enough time to say this and
we were scaring Aparna um here's all the extra thoughts that we had I'm pretty sure that was
basically an addendum to the first installment okay that makes sense yeah flash forward to
February 11th 2019 I don't know why that date was important or like why we should I guess it's like close to
Valentine's Day but kind of an arbitrary date on our part kind of chaotic of us interesting
um this is the titanic colon sunk and drunk episode because what had one of our worst
one of our worst I think one of our worst we've ever released maybe all the i mean it was definitely
one of the worst ones we've ever recorded but thanks to the power of editing yes it turned out
okay i think i now that's an episode i don't remember like not because it happened a long
time ago but because we were so drunk and crying on the sunken drunk one i remember the feeling of
it we did we i remember that we were in,
that was back when we used to record
all of our Matreon episodes in your bed.
Correct, yeah.
So we would have been getting drunk in your bed.
Yes.
Which look, it's happened before, it'll happen again.
But that was, yeah, that was a wild one.
That was a wild, I don't have, I remember nothing.
You cannot take me to court over it.
Yeah.
Later that month.
Oh my God.
Because we dedicated an entire month to Titanic episodes on the Matreon.
So February 24th,
we released our Titanic audio commentary.
See,
I think we had to do it in two parts because it was so long.
This is,
I think the peak of our Titanic content,
because if you haven't listened
this is I guess a long ad for our patreon but people to this day still still use that commentary
track yeah every once in a while I heard they're like guess what I did last night and it's like
I feel like I should mail them something I feel like I should mail everyone who's ever listened
to that an edible arrangement um uh-huh for sure i'd cry
a lot i remember that yes so those were the two episodes from february 2019 yes now we move along
to uh on september 17th 2020 we released the youtube link of the live reading that we did. Yeah.
Of the script.
Yeah.
Some of the greats.
Some of the greats.
Yes, indeed.
Highly recommend.
You got to check it out.
Then on April 14th.
So we're back on track as far as the date goes.
2021.
We released something called another Titanic episode colon 2021 edition.
Yes.
And that was that was what exactly?
What did we do?
Well, that was, that was, that was tentacles.
That was when we found, was it not?
That was when we found the, what is the name of, we found an Italian animated ripoff of,
it's a combination of, I think, an American tale, Titanic. And then what else? A little bit of Little Mermaid thrown in there, but it's a combination of i think an american tale titanic and then what else a
little bit of little mermaid thrown in there but it's not super oh right because they're
basically if you haven't heard of that movie it's about it's it's a it's lightly revised history
in which everyone on the titanic lives due to a gigantic depressed octopus named Tentacles holding the Titanic together with his gigantic meaty tentacles
while almost crying and then he dies.
And then he dies.
And James Cameron...
He wishes.
Wasn't heard from for many years.
He wishes.
I think it's very interesting that after that movie came out, James Cameron was not heard from for many years i think it's very interesting that after that that movie came
out james cameron was not heard from for many years because he was so jealous he he literally
was so embarrassed that he didn't think of that that he moved to new zealand yeah yeah damn avatar was not supposed to take place in new zealand but he
was like i will never recover from this great i would oh my god how much money would you pay
to watch james cameron watch that movie uh every cent i had wow yeah i would i would dump i would
really i would really make a big financial mistake for that. Because I do feel like he seems like he's a little, he's got a reputation of having a very short fuse, which I think is scary in some cases.
But in this case, oh, would I love to see him flip a table over this.
It would be a treat.
This is also on this episode when we, I give a brief overview of Titanic 2, which is a B disaster movie that is really bad, but fun to watch because of how bad it is.
We also talk about The Six, which is a documentary about...
That is still not widely available from what I've been able to gather. Yeah.
But it's a documentary about the six Chinese survivors who were on the Titanic who were able to escape the shipwreck, but then were vilified by the press and then were refused entry to the U.S. And these people were largely erased from the history books and just like
the historical narratives. And from popular
narratives about, yeah.
Yes. I would still really like to see that documentary.
Yeah, I've never, I mean, if listeners
if you have a way of watching it
we would really like to see it. Indeed.
And then finally
Titanic 666 would have been last year
if I'm remembering correctly. Okay, okay
Jamie. Is there another one no no oh my god we never actually talked about titanic 666 the full movie we only
talked about the trailer and then you and i watched it together we watched the movie but
what for fun for fun i mean the best time. We had an absolute blast.
But there is no episode dedicated.
I also had this thought.
I thought we had covered Titanic 666 on an episode.
But we did not yet do that.
I'm kind of beside myself at that news.
I know.
I was like, my memory has been like really bad lately.
But yeah, I was like, surely I'm not wrong about this.
And yet.
Both our brains have cratered in the past year in a way that has been alarming for both of us. But I do.
Okay.
I mean, I guess before we get into what we're covering this year, in preparation, and I think I did more thorough preparation for this episode than I have in the last, at least last year,
I spent a good nine hours.
Uh,
I watched Titanic twice and then I watched three additional hours of
featurettes,
et cetera.
Wild,
very sick behavior.
But it occurred to me in sort of gathering that information,
truly how much we still have.
We,
if we have not talking about talking talked about titanic 666
we have never covered a night to remember we've never covered the katherine zeta jones miniseries
we never covered titanic the musical there there is still a wealth of titanic content
that somehow we have not yet put to wax on on this damn show it's true and so listeners
if you hate this we've got some bad news we're like kind of only cracking the surface um yeah
you might even call it the tip of the iceberg oh well well well that would have been the obvious thing to say. And I just it just whiffed past my head.
Hey.
All right.
So but but this this year, we have a couple of things on the agenda.
But Kayla and I kind of found a way to, I would say, kind of combine our our superpowers in order to create a new robust and thrilling titanic episode for you
this year so true so very true should we start with the poster yes yes so before we get to well
can we just like this year we're doing something we've never done of titanic before which is the
mega recap yes so if you're 26 minutes into this episode thinking,
okay, but what are they going to talk about?
It's the longest and most detailed and elaborate recap I've ever written.
But it's Titanic.
What was I going to do?
And I know you were working on that for quite some time also.
In an attempt to kind of complement that,
because we've talked a lot about various myths and bits and bobs
surrounding Titanic over the years,
I figured this year, as you recap,
I watched two commentary tracks for this movie.
That's why I watched Titanic twice yesterday.
The first one was with, course mr jim of course
alone no one the second track has no less than like 12 people on it it's interesting because
they're not all in the same room i think that 12 people recorded commentaries and then they edited
in the most interesting bits to make a super commentary which was actually pretty cool it's like the two main producers who are um
ray sanchini and john landau it's kate winslet it's gloria stewart it's francis fisher it's billy
zane it's kathy bates um it's basically everyone except for leo and then it's also some like
people that you don't usually hear from on
commentary trucks.
You've got some stuff from James Horner,
the composer,
you got some stuff from the cinematographer.
You even got some fun stuff from the Foley artist,
like a very kind of fun comprehensive.
I feel,
I feel as if I live,
laugh,
learned quite a bit.
Beautiful.
And so I guess I'll just be piping in.
But first, we have some, yeah, we've got some business.
We've got some updates to give you.
Indeed.
Let's take another quick break,
and then we'll be back for more.
Hey, everybody. This is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you. We'll be right back. comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs,
the stories, and of course, the culture.
I feel some Sandra
Bernhard in you. Oh my
God, I would
love it.
I have to watch Lost.
Oh, you have to. No, I know, I'm so behind.
Katherine Hanken's thing.
Oh, I'm really good at karaoke.
What's your song? Yeah, what's your song? Oh, I'm really good at karaoke. What's your song?
Yeah, what's your song?
Oh, I love a ballad.
I felt Bjork's music.
I just was like, who is this person?
I got to hawk this slalom, Lugey.
Not hawk the slalom.
I absolutely love it.
It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it.
It was somehow gorgeous. Yee, my slok, I absolutely love it. It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it. It was somehow gorgeous.
Yee, my slok, you hollum.
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So with the re-release in theaters of Titanic,
a new poster was designed.
Yeah.
I don't know who was behind the designing of this poster,
but as many people have
already pointed out it's a little weird yes so it's rose so it's kind of like a composite of
an existing titanic poster that like came out in the initial theatrical run but some weird choices were made maybe most notably with kate winslet's hair it seems like a
composite of kate winslet's head yes for sure because on one half of her hair she has a curly
updo and then on the other side her like soft loose waves are hanging down and it doesn't make any sense she's facing to the left behind her and
like clutching her is jack um he's clinging to her for dear life also her body so like the placement
and proportion of her arms and her torso are very strange And it looks like her head is on backwards, kind of.
Something is not right.
I couldn't even really place what was not quite right.
It gave me like, it felt like watching the Polar Express, kind of looking at this poster, where you're just like, that's not quite how people are.
It's just not quite people.
Really not. quite how people are it's just not quite people really not you know Jack and Rose also look very just like super imposed together because like they're hugging or like he's like clutching her
but you can tell that they're not that these are just like two images of these people that were
just kind of like glued together in photoshop and it looks really bad like the lighting is strange like the shadows are like it doesn't match up at all it looks gnarly yeah and then here's me
being very nitpicky uh-huh so jack is shown with handcuffs on his wrist which means that this is
him from the night the ship sinks on the other hand if i'm not mistaken rose is wearing the outfit
she wore the night that she and jack met which would have been the iconic three days before the
ship sinks right because we used to have an issue with where is april 13th we've since figured out
where april 13th is the poster i will say looks like shit
it looks pretty bad it looks pretty bad but i will say but i also think even though the original
movie poster for titanic is so iconic i have generally preferred fan-made posters the one
that you have hanging in your kitchen caitlin i like much better than any of the theatrically
that said if you work at a movie
theater and you have access to the re-release posters i will like i will banshees of inner
sharon mail you my finger like whatever if if that's what you want if you don't want that i
won't do it which so it's kind of a reverse no actually he didn't want yeah only if you want it Colin Farrell did not want those
fingers so it's kind of a reversal yeah of a it's a it's a requested finger it's not a
it's that would be an interesting movie to cover on this show it would I think also
you offering to chop off your fingers and mail them to someone in exchange for a poster that
you can probably very easily purchase somewhere no no no it's it's
okay no this is this is good this is good for us
i saw a tweet every time i say i saw a tweet i'm like okay i'm literally
i'm old rose i'm 500 years old but i saw a tweet that said like when harry met sally 1988 women and
men can't be friends banshees of inna sharon 2022 men can't be friends that's good so yeah i i will the poster is like freaky
we'll post it on our instagram if you're interested in checking it out and then there's one other um
i feel like i was honestly kind of surprised that there wasn't more titanic production news that came out in this last year because james
cameron was like going on his first press tour in years for avatar 2 wiggly wiggly water and
and but titanic it really only came up in this in this one story right and it does concern the door i will say there are a few things that i'm
less interested like i'm so bored when people talk when people talk about the door i tune out i shut
my brain off i'm so sick of hearing about it i'm really glad we're on the same page about this
i have always from the minute i watched this movie for the first time as a 12 year old,
I was like, it's not about the size of the door.
Sure, maybe he could have fit from a surface area standpoint.
It's about the buoyancy.
And that brings us to this new story.
Well, and then the other thing it tells me before we get into the story, the other, when
you tell me i have questions
about the door in titanic you're telling me that you have not watched every single deleted scene
and i don't like you i don't respect you it's literally like even if it were an interesting
thing to say which it isn't um if you watch the deleted scenes there is a very like it made sense that they got rid of the
scene and it adds nothing but there is like a little exchange that addresses he tries to get
up is blah blah like there it's addressed it's not gonna work the buoyancy is not there it's
even addressed in the text like there's a there's a moment where like they both try to get on the door flips over.
It's clear to both of them that they cannot both be on the door.
Jack is like, all right, this is it for me.
I'm going to let her get on the door to increase her chance of survival.
And also, I don't.
If there's one thing Jack Dawson knows, it's about things in ice water.
It's an established element of his character they brought it up but but but jim you know people have been talking from jim's ear off about this for decades
and so he had something to say he commissioned a study this is a really fun way to know that you
just have too much money someone needs to rob him if he had time and money to do this.
But yes.
He was like, let's get some forensic analysts on the case.
And so I'm going to kind of cite this.
This came up in a few different publications.
There was a Washington Post piece about this.
There was a piece in Deadline.
There was a piece on NPR. like major publications were reporting on this depressing but uh basically
he got really sick of everyone being like jack could have fit on the door at the end so he
commissioned this study where he quote took two stunt people who were the same body mass of kate and leo
and put sensors all over them and inside them okay and we put them in ice water he's like
let me not get more specific about where that means did they eat them was it and we can just stop there yeah
okay did they put little sensors in their butt who can say i would do that for the right price
i would give someone my fingers that i've chopped off to be able to do that yeah i guess i just
gave away that i would do a lot of things with
my body that weren't necessary okay so we put sensors all over them and inside them and we put
them in ice water and we tested to see whether they could have survived through a variety of
methods and the answer was there was no way they both could have survived only one
could survive unquote there was already a mythbusters episode about this that came to the
same conclusion like i thought the mythbusters was like the mythbusters was like oh if they had
tied rose's life jacket to the door it could have been more floaty and then they both could have been on it.
Oh, well, if that's what they said,
oh yeah, what fucking losers
that they didn't think to do that
when they were sinking on the Titanic.
Shut the hell up, Mythbusters.
Bust your ass right open.
This is so, I mean, I guess I'm glad that
hopefully this means people can stop talking about
it although we i think we very often discuss the second most annoying thing to talk about with
titanic but we're right and that's debating about the end but let's save that for the recap because
i have a little bit of commentary things i've unearthed okay that I'm looking forward to sharing interesting I think
commissioning the door study is objectively funny um it's really funny what a gigantic waste of time
um and and money to pay someone to put a sensor in their butt uh to prove that the movie that you wrote uh technically but i do i
will like i almost listened to a third titanic commentary and then i had to i would have had to
go to the hospital or something like i couldn't have watched a third but next year or in a future
viewing there is a i think it's like it wasn't like it's not official from Titanic Inc.,
but there is a historian commentary track for Titanic.
So historians are commenting on the movie to talk about its historical accuracies or inaccuracies?
Exactly.
Interesting.
Which I would be interested in listening to.
And also, if you're interested in listening to the commentaries they're they're both just like on youtube i just
like synced it with the movie on youtube wow all right is that is that all of our all our business
have we ever i mean this i i was gonna just sort of interrupt the the recap at some point but have
we ever fully discussed the chowder incident i I don't think in a lot of detail.
And there was a piece on Variety that came out about a month and a half ago at the time of this episode's release that brings up the... set of titanic when they were filming in nova scotia which is where the scenes on the keldish
take place when like bill paxton and old rose are talking about the diamond you know like the
framing device scenes someone drugged the clam chowder that was like the cast and crew meal
that night with pcp and a bunch of people ate it and they were all tripping
balls including James Cameron so the way and many other members of the crew and then there's like
this wild story about them at the hospital because they were in this like tiny hospital in Nova
Scotia and then all of a sudden it's like these Hollywood weirdos like pcp'd out of their fucking skulls yeah running
back and forth between hospital rooms the poor like staff at the hospital are desperately trying
to keep people apart but they're like he he he like i can smell colors and like all this shit
and my favorite element there there is at least one i my friend wrote a pilot about this which i think is the
best idea of all time yeah and and then apparently it was investigated by halifax police for over two
and a half years wow which is um i think a cab includes whatever the fuck that is um because
the case is still closed i mean the it was closed due to lack of suspects so whoever it was got away they never
solved the case no because they're cops yeah so of course they wasted a ton of state money and
never figured out who put the pcp in the chowder also no one can even agree what the chowder was
some people say muscle paxton says it was clams the police report says it was lobster what even
was the their bad detective work top to bottom?
James Cameron, of course, being the way that he appears to be, feels certain that he knows who did it.
Oh.
He said this to Vanity Fair.
Not to Vanity Fair.
Vanity Fair quoted him in 2017.
I don't have a good James Cameron impression.
He doesn't really have a distinct sounding voice. So you can't do a good James Cameron impression he doesn't really have like a distinct sounding voice
so you can't do like a Michael Bay
like
anyways
we had fired a crew member the day before
because they were creating trouble with the caterers
whatever that means
so we believe the poisoning was this idiot's plan
to get back at the caterers
whom of course we promptly fired the next day
so it worked
unquote I don't know i mean
james cameron did have the pcp gloria stewart was on set that day fortunately she did not get the pcp
i yeah but apparently but there's like all these in the commentary bill paxton i think really seems
to delight in telling this story where at some point there was a point where one of the
eight like when James Cameron was realizing everyone was on PCP he was like I'm pissed and
he just like stormed away did not make sure people wrote he just but I mean to be fair he was on PCP
but he stormed away sure he he bails immediately then one of the ADs is in the cafeteria and is like, good crew over here, bad crew over here.
Trying to figure out who's on PCP and who isn't.
Oh, wow.
And so people who are definitely sure they're on PCP get to one side of the room.
People who are like, I'm definitely not on PCP are on the other side of the room.
And then there's some people in the middle.
They're like, I'm not sure.
Including.
Including. of the room and then there's some people in the middle they're like i'm not sure including including and this is a bizarre connection but like i always kind of forget and i feel like it's not fair from a crediting standpoint but like how there's like one credited cinematographer
on titanic but there's a number of cinematographers who work and the cinematographer working on the Keldysh was Zoe
Deschanel's father Caleb Deschanel oh wow a moment in history Zoe Deschanel's dad was on PCP that day
and Bill Paxton said some people were laughing some people were crying some people were throwing
up one minute I felt okay the next minute I felt so goddamn anxious i wanted to breathe in a paper bag cameron was feeling the
same way eventually we all got put in these cubicles with the curtains around us but no
one wanted to stay in their cubicles everyone was out in the aisles and jumping into other people's
cubicles people had a lot of energy some were in wheelchairs flying down the hallways i mean
everyone was high.
So it just turned into a wild night.
And James Cameron's takeaway was, because I know that he is, like, whatever, has a reputation for being tyrannical on set.
Not being a fun guy to work for.
And this was, like, the only time at this entire shoot on the Caldersers that he had given them a lunch break and this
happened and i think he was just like well my takeaway from this is no more lunch that's illegal
i'm sure that they have to not look we yeah if osha wants to get involved by all means someone
should make sure james cameron is giving his crew But I just, I feel like the, even though the PCP story was like reported on,
since it happened, like the first story about it was in Entertainment Weekly in 1996.
But it's just such a good story that people love to talk about it.
And they're right too.
Yeah, the Variety piece I don't think had any new information.
It was just like, hey's december 2022 titanic's being re-released in theaters soon time of years
so remember about that pcp story pcp chowder i mean so much of the production of this movie is
like fascinating and great but that's that's definitely up there yeah all right shall we yes i have a couple
just updates titanic related updates before we get into the okay recap as far as like things
i've seen or done okay and here they are i went to go see titanic oh yes in new york city ever
heard of it i have and i And I've heard of Titanic.
But tell the people.
Oh, my gosh. It is a musical parody of James Cameron's Titanic, as told from the point of view of
Celine Dion, as if she were a passenger on the Titanic in 1912 and was hanging out with
Jack and Rose and Ruth and Fabrizio. All the characters.
Yes.
So it's very funny.
There's great songs.
It's great fun.
And I love it.
So if you live in New York or you get a chance to visit, check out Titanic.
Titanic.
I also saw a show called Never Let Go.
Uh-huh.
I saw this at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last year.
It is a solo show by Michael Kinnan, where he recreates the movie Titanic by himself,
playing all of the characters.
Unbelievable.
I love it.
So I saw the show and a listener alerted me to the show in the first
place. So thank you for letting me know about it. And so I knew to like, check it out when I was in
Edinburgh. I saw I loved it. I messaged Michael after the show and demanded that he be my friend.
I was just like, hey, I'm also an LA based performer who loves Titanic and we should be best
friends.
And then he wrote back and he's like,
yeah,
let's get a coffee or a drink or something.
And then we did.
And now we're friends.
I love it.
That Titanic really genuinely does bring people together.
It's just a fact.
I'm trying to remember the name of the one
man titanic show that i do you remember when i told you like that i had done like a show
in boston right after a man's one man show about titanic oh kind of i'll find it someday i know
i talked about it in one of our 500 episodes on Titanic. And then you went to the LA exhibition too.
The one that like travels around.
Yes.
I went to the Titanic exhibition in LA.
It was great fun.
I also got another Titanic tattoo or a tattoo Nick.
Yes.
Shout out to Ash Valentine,
the tattoo artist.
It's like a VHSs tape that says titanic part two
on it because that's your titanic we were talking about this last week i think i think i'm a part
one-er yes oh and shout out to that conversation which was on queer quadrant a podcast with hosts
jordan and brooke we guested on their episode about titanic it was so much fun
so much fun we talked about queer undertones in titanic we talked about the queer fan base just
all kinds of stuff um so listeners of the bechtel cast check out queer quadrant we'll link them
yeah and there you have it that That concludes VHS tape number one.
Jamie, I believe you may get your headlines.
Oh, I've got a feeling I will, Caitlin.
I've got a feeling I will.
Cut to Billy Zane pissed in the doorway.
But listeners, you won't be hearing that until next week when we begin
vhs tape two i feel thrilled i'm a tape one head so i hope you enjoyed tape one caitlin's a tape
two head you're gonna love tape two it's gonna be a blast so throw this podcast episode in those
did you ever have one of those like tape rewinders? We never did. We did not.
Sorry to flex.
Yeah.
Brag.
Okay.
Sorry.
We were millionaires and we had a tape rewinder.
I just couldn't.
I think that we got the tape rewinder because my mom was like, how can I talk to these children
less?
Let's just swap them out and then, you know, get it done.
Sure.
Sure.
It was an investment in uh
not knowing each other let's end the episode you can uh follow us on social media again scoot on
over to our patreon slash matreon for so much more titanic content you would not believe
what we've got over there and it it's not just Titanic bonus episodes.
It's a whole slew, over 100 episodes of other.
Yes, and we're also, right now on the Matreon,
we're doing two popular requests for Valentine's Day adjacent stuff.
We just did Sweet Home Alabama, maybe the world's worst movie.
We certainly did not like it.
Devil vibes.
It's something that when we posted about it, I was like, wow, I am just relieved that everyone
seems to agree.
It's an evil movie.
It's an evil movie to watch.
Sinister.
And then we will also be releasing an episode soon on 51st dates over on the matrion. So go to patrion.com slash Bechtel cast for $5 a month and you get two bonus
episodes every single month.
And,
uh,
you can buy some merch at tpublic.com slash the Bechtel cast and otherwise
stay tuned for next week's VHS tape number two of Titanic.
Bye.
Brr.
Hey, everybody.
This is Matt Rogers.
And Bowen Yang.
We've got some exciting news for you.
You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right?
Well, this week we're taking it to the next level.
The one, the only, Katherine Hahn is joining us on Las Culturistas.
That's right, the queen of comedy herself.
Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful.
Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.
Don't miss Katherine Hahn on Las Culturistas.
Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pradenti. And I'm Jermaine Jackson-Gadsden.
We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts.
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