The Best of Car Talk - #2437: Gail the Tollbooth Fugitive

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Billy the Kid, John Dillinger, Al Capone and now... 'Gail the Tollbooth Fugitive' takes her rightful place among America's most notorious criminals. Find out how wrong your life can go when you don't have exact change on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Pro-Palestinian protests have popped up on college campuses across the country. But from the eyes of students, what are we missing? From the outset, these protests are painted as really violent when that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm Brittany Luce, host of NPR's It's Been a Minute, and I'm inviting you to hear from student journalists who see what the rest of us cannot. On It's Been a Minute from NPR. Hello and welcome to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. And we're broadcasting this week from the rolling nomenclature division here at Car Talk Plaza. Yeah, well, suggested by Ken somebody whose name, Ken Lindsey from Mountain View, California.

When I heard that you were extending the puzzler into uncharted realms of potential lousiness, my beat skipped a heart. I was so excited I could hardly count. When I heard the philosophy regarding opening up the mode of inquiry to include the right brain, I was even more excited. Imagine you guys going from a no-brainer to a partial brainer. Which leads into more practical questions. What's going to happen when the people who give names to cars run out of inspiration? Maybe it's already happened. Things like the Mercury Mistake or the Starion. So as a public service and to help fill up your hour and to provide weeks of potential amusement,

why not open up the new puzzler to name that car competition? Each week could have a theme. Historical figures one week, for example, like the Renault Robespierre, and major diseases the next, like the Dodge Diphtheria, the Plymouth Polio. Obviously, this concept could be milked longer than an artificial cow sound effect on Garrison Keillor's show. And that's it. That's it. Dougie came up with a couple. He wanted a dental theme. A dental theme like the Chrysler Cavity.

I like this one. The Jeep Gingivitis. The Nissan Novocaine. There could be, if you thought of themes, do we want to pick a theme? No, we'll let everyone pick a theme. We'd like to hear what other people's ideas are because I'm convinced. Gee, the Rambler Root Canal would have been. The Rambler Root Canal is good.

They're going to run out of names. I mean, the advertising agencies can't go on forever making up names that make any kind of sense. The ones we have now, the worst name, the Oldsmobile Achiever. You know that they're on the hairy edge, right? And the Ford Aspire, they're running out. They're running out of ideas. So it's obvious that they need help. So we would like you to send your suggestions to us here at the Department of Rolling Nomenclature at Car Talk Plaza.

I think what they ought to do is clear the slate. All the automakers should agree. At one point, they wipe the slate clean, and all names, or whoever gets there first to register a name, has it. Yeah. Well, we know that some names have gone from one company to another. That would be a good puzzler someday. Yes. But we won't use that.

If only we knew the answer. If you have any ideas for the new names that we have to come up with. Either send them to us here or send them to our website, which is cartalk.com, www and all the HTTPs and all that stuff. And, of course, we'll forward them to the respective car companies. Of course. I'm sure they're anxious to hear. They would want to know. They're looking for names. Now, if you'd like to call us with a question about your car, our number is 1-800-332-9287.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, how are you? Good. Who's this? This is Martha. Where are. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, how are you? Good. Who's this? This is Martha. Where are you from, Martha? Peru, Vermont. Peru?

Peru. Where's Peru? It's kind of in the southwestern corner, not far from the New York border. Yeah. Oh, the New York border. Is it near Bennington? Yeah, it's not far from there at all. About 40 minutes.

It's where the ski areas are. Oh, wait. 40 minutes from Bennington and you're in New York City. No. Well, you're in Schenectady at least. The other day. You're north. You're north of Bennington.

Yes. Ah, there it is. So Peru is like a small town of like 25,000 people? No, maybe like 25. About 25,000 less than that. Yeah. Oh, you and who? Yeah.

The capital doesn't have 25,000 people. What is the capital of Vermont? Montpellier. Oh, Montpellier. Yeah. Oh, you and who? Yeah. The capital doesn't have 25,000 people. What is the capital of Vermont? Montpellier. Oh, Montpellier. Yeah. What's Pellier mean? Green mountains, isn't it? No. What kind of mountains? Three? No, that's Vermont means green mountains. Vermont. Vermont. But Montpellier

is a hairy mountain. I think so. Yes. I know my languages, man. Oh, yeah. I think so. Yes. I know my languages, man. Oh, yeah, I think so. So, Martha, what's up? Okay, I have a 1992 Mazda Protege that just has over 50,000 miles on it now. And back when it had about 19,000 miles, it started making this screeching noise when I shifted. making this screeching noise when I shifted. So eventually, about a year or so later, Mazda notified the dealership that some of the cars had a faulty clutch disc. So at no cost to

me, Mazda replaced that clutch disc. But I got it back, and a couple of days later, the car started making this horrible noise from under the hood. It was a completely different noise. And it's kind of difficult for the mechanics because it the hood. It was a completely different noise. And it's kind of difficult for the mechanics because it's intermittent. It doesn't do it all the time. But finally they said that they did hear the noise, and they thought that there was some play in the primary shaft or those bearings. So they fixed that, or they thought they had fixed it. And I have to say Mazda was very cooperative, and they picked up a large percentage of the cost.

What was this second noise? Well, it's kind of like a grating noise. And it happened when you stepped on the clutch, or it happened at random times? No, actually it would do it in neutral. When you weren't stepping on the clutch. When I wasn't stepping on the clutch in neutral, or when I'm driving, and it still is doing it. Or if you accelerate and then take your foot off the pedal a little bit, it still does it. Yeah.

Okay, so then they said that it was the primary shaft or a bearing there, and so they fixed it. So they took the transmission out again, and they fitted a new bearing to the main shaft of the transmission. I guess so. Okay, I can believe that. But it's still making the same noise. I can believe that, too, because I don't think that's your problem. Actually, I made a tape of it. Do you want to hear it?

Only if it is accompanied by music. Martha! Well, you can sing along. Okay. Okay, do you want to listen to it? Yeah. Hold on. Now, give us the situation.

You're sitting, you're stopped. I'm stopped, yes. You're stopped. The engine is idling. It's in neutral. It's in neutral. Your foot is off the clutch. It's off the clutch. And then I did accelerate, just press down on the accelerator a little bit. Okay. Here Did you hear that? I love it. Which one of those noises was the noise? I heard... Well, it was both, because the second noise was when you revved it up a little bit. Yeah, and then it seems like I was noticing this morning I was doing it outside,

and when you do rev up the engine, it seems to increase the sound, and then if you back off the accelerator, it will linger for a little bit. And then even if you're not accelerating, though, it will periodically kick in. And yet you have not taken the step of seeing if this noise is there with the clutch depressed? I don't think that it does. Can you run out to the driveway and try it? So you think that it's not there with the clutch depressed? I believe that's right.

It's crucial that we know the answer to this question because it will color all our thoughts. So, I mean, it's making the noise now, right? So if you went out there now and started it up, you'd get the noise, you're pretty sure? I'd have a probably 50-50 chance. Are you close to the car now? Yes. You feel like one with the car? Not anymore. Do you mind going close to the car now? Yes. You feel like one with the car? Not anymore.

Do you mind going out to the driveway and trying that? Do you really want me to? Try to get the noise and then step on the clutch and see if it goes away. And then re-engage the clutch. Of course, all this is done in neutral and see if the noise comes back. So repeatedly disengage, engage, disengage and see if you can get it to go, come, go, come Come, go, go, go, come And leave your number so we'll call you back In five minutes

How's that? Really? Yeah Alright, great So what we're going to do is we'll take a break We'll do the new puzzler By that time Martha will have had a chance to check out her car And we'll get back to her Cool car and we'll get back to her. Cool. Drake and Kendrick Lamar have been lobbing some serious accusations at each other. You've probably heard the diss tracks and wondered what's just a low

blow and what's actually criminal. I'm Brittany Luce, host of It's Been a Minute from NPR, and I'm getting into what's art and what's worthy of criminal investigation and who those accusations hurt the most. On It's Been a Minute from NPR. With NPR+, there's more to hear, like extended interviews with some of the experts we talk to at Planet Money and The Indicator. It's a mistake for economists to only think about economic efficiency when considering policies because you'll actually wind up with a worse outcome.

And with NPR Plus, you help keep NPR going. Learn more at plus.npr.org. Summer is for going to the movie theater because it's too hot to stay home. It's for driving with the windows down, listening to your favorite music. It's for stretching out while you're on vacation to gobble up a TV show. For a guide to some of the TV, movies, and music we are most excited about this summer, listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR. Do you wish stories could unfold over three hours rather than three minutes?

You tired of doom scrolling? Trying to find humanity? Or maybe a deeper understanding of why the world is the way it is, listen to Embedded, NPR's original documentary series. Find us wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, I know you didn't remember last week's puzzler, and I know you don't even have the form with you

because I went through your pockets last night while you were sleeping. I had the form, in fact. Well, you had, but... I even got an email on cartalk.com from the guy who sent me the forms. Aw, gee. Of course, I've lost... Well, it's too late. The time's up....the email from him, and I've

lost the forms. Yeah, okay. I give up. I don't know what I did with it. His name is Matt something. Yeah. Matt. Matt. Matt. Okay. Anyway, this puzzler was in honor of the baseball season, which has gotten off to a wonderful start amidst snow squalls

and snowstorms and whatever. But it's been kind of exciting. Anyway. I remember you saying it was a seasonal puzzle of baseball season. Lefty McDougal, star pitcher for the Kenosha Ramblers, had an incentive clause in his contract that guaranteed him an extra 1,000 clams, okay, if he wins 20 games in the season. Yeah. Aside from being a new agent, $1,000.

Maybe it was $100,000. Maybe. Here's his problem. It's the last game of the year, and Lefty has how many wins? 19. It's got to be 19. Actually, he had 18, but we had to change it for the purpose of the puzzle. And he was scheduled to be that day's pitcher against the worst club in the league.

But an hour before the game, as Lefty's warming up in the pen, you know, like you would do, getting rubbed down and all that, the manager approaches him and says, you ain't starting the game. Why not, says Lefty. You know it's worth an extra grand. That's the problem, the manager. You don't have to tell him. The owner of the club, Scrooge McSteinbrenner,

doesn't want to cough up the dough. And he told me that if you threw a single pitch today, that I'd be out of a job in the spring. So Lefty, with a long face, walks away, and the manager says, but don't give up hope. I'll think of something. I'd like this puzzler. I love puzzlers like this.

Anyway, the manager does think of something, and Lefty wins the game, collects his $1,000 bonus, even though he never throws a single pitch. Now, when I say he wins the game, I meant that he's a winning pitcher. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't win the game as a pinch hitter. Yeah. Okay? And the manager is not out of work in the next spring. Doesn't throw a single pitch.

Doesn't throw a single. The question is, how did this happen? What were the strange circumstances? It had to do with anti-gravity. Well, not knowing anything about baseball. What if they're ahead? Right? What's the name of the team?

The Kenosha Ramblers? Yeah. If they were ahead and the? What's the name of the team? The Kenosha Ramblers? Yeah. If they were ahead and the manager took out the pitcher, no, then he wouldn't be. No, then the guy who was pitching. What's the definition of a winning pitcher? You're going to be in the game pitching when the winning run is scored? Right.

Well, I'm going to give you the answer because it's obvious that you didn't get it. Well, I don't know the rules. The game is tied in the top of the ninth inning. Top. That means the beginning or the end. Right. They're home. They're home.

I think I mentioned that they're home. It's their last home game of the season. Yeah. Okay. The game is tied. The other guys have bases loaded. The other guys have bases loaded. Right.

He brings lefty in to pitch. Two outs. Yeah. Don't forget the admonition from the loaded. Right. He brings lefty in to pitch. Two outs. Yeah. Now, don't forget the admonition from the owner. Yeah, if he throws one pitch. Throw one pitch, everyone's history. Yeah. But he can throw someone out at first base who's taken too long a lead.

There you go. Yeah? You got it. And the hint was lefty. Because lefties have better pickoff moves. You are tricky, man. Than righties. So he picks off the guy at first base.

He runs into the dugout, not having thrown a pitch, but being the pitcher of record in a tie game. His guys score four runs on a grand slam home run in the bottom of the ninth. The team wins. Lefty wins. McSteinbrenner cries in his beer. Wow. And that's it.

I thought it was a nice baseball-y kind of puzzler. I like it because I learned rules of baseball. It's always good to learn more about sports if you want to be a real guy. Yes, indeed. Who's the winner? The winner is John McGregor from Arlington, Virginia. And for being our winner this week, John,

you will get your very own copy of The Best of Car Talk on CD, which, if you buy a few more, you can stick them in the dirt and the Best of Car Talk on CD, which if you buy a few more, you can stick them in the dirt and use them as a border around your tomato plants. They are actually very nice because you can stagger them. Yes. There are lots of ways you can do it. You can put one and then put one behind that one and then put the next one down in front

like tiles. Yeah. Or you can put them all side by side or you can make a staircase out of them up and then back down again. There are many, many ways to use these as edgings for your tomato plants. Yes. So good luck to you, John McGregor from Arlington, Virginia. Berman has actually discovered this edging thing in his garden.

He has so many. By the way, if you didn't win the puzzler and you find yourself in dire need of a copy of the best of Car Talk, you can always get one at CarTalk.com on the world-wide web, or by calling Car Talk's Shameless Commerce Division, whose number is 303-823-8000. Anyway, we have a brand new non-automotive, I might add, puzzler coming up during the second half of today's show, so be sure to stay tuned for that. Is this the Sherlock Holmes puzzler that we've heard so much about? You gave it away!

In the meantime, if you'd like to call us, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Wait, maybe Martha's back. I am back. Martha is back! Martha, you know, I have a strange feeling that we've met before. Yes, we have.

You're from Peru, Vermont, aren't you? That's right. Okay. So you went out. Did you get it to make the sound? I did. And? You stepped on the clutch and? The sound went away. Oh. Uh-huh. Oh.

So is it clutch? Is it transmission? No, it's in your transmission. Transmission. So should a car with 50,000 miles have problems with the transmission? How soon after they did the repair? Did I notice it? Yeah. A couple of days. Oh, really?

Days. Yeah, the noise wasn't there before it went in. Geez, I hate to... And then you went back and they did something? Yeah, they... I hate to say what I think they did. What? Tell me what you think they did.

I think they put oil in the transmission. Really? Yeah. I think they did. What? Tell me what you think they did. I think they put oil in the transmission. Really? Yeah. Oh. I think what happened... You know, it's interesting. When these funny little situations come up, you always know about the mistakes. Because I've made them all, baby.

No, it's entirely possible. It's entirely possible that they drained your transmission, which they would have done if they took it out to do the clutch. Yes, and they did drain it because they wanted to see if there were metal filings, I guess. No, I'm talking about the first time you went in to get the clutch replaced. They didn't drain it the second time because there was nothing to drain the second time, except maybe the filings. Because there wasn't any oil. That's just a guess, but I bet you I'mings. Okay. Because there wasn't any oil. That's just a guess. But I bet you I'm right. Okay.

Now, you're going to have, you've got a snowball's chance in hell of proving any of this. Your best hope is maybe at gunpoint. Uh-huh. That's not my way. It's not your way. Yeah, especially up there in Vermont, all those touchy-feely types. Yeah, nuts and berries types. A lot of snowballs, actually.

Snowballs? Snowballs. Yeah. Yeah, nuts and berries types. A lot of snowballs, actually. Snowballs? Snowballs. The sound is inside the transmission, because when you step on the clutch, you stop the transmission gears from turning.

Uh-huh. And that's why the sound goes away. And when the clutch is out, whether you're in gear or not, there are shafts in there which are spinning. And that's what's making the noise. And that can either happen. One shaft that's spinning, but it's close enough. But, yeah, that can either happen... One shaft that's spinning, but it's close enough. But, yeah, that can happen. And there's no question, when you step on the clutch,

the noise goes away because you've stopped the shaft from turning. You have got to hope that the state of Vermont has in place some kind of consumer protection law that will help you in this regard. I know Massachusetts and there are several other states that have something called an Implied Warranty Act, which prohibits manufacturers from placing a time limitation, even though they all try to do it, on a warranty. And I don't know if Vermont has that,

but you can find out by calling your state attorney general. They may share one with New Hampshire. Maybe they don't have enough people to have one attorney general out of themselves. I'm pretty sure they do. Oh, they do, okay. There's a tri-state district attorney. Yeah, it's like Powerball. Yeah.

Well, actually, you know... It's the main New Hampshire, Vermont consumer affairs. Well, you know, it's not so stupid. No. You know, we're going to do that in our neighborhood.

We figure everyone owns a snowblower. Why should everyone own a snowblower? It's ridiculous. One snowblower would easily serve six or seven houses. Yeah.

Especially if you get some retired ding-a-ling to run it all, like Frank. So anyway... So you think that they put oil in the transmission? Well, I mean,

I don't think you should go in there accusing them of anything. Yes, you should. I mean, they've been very nice. They've been very nice, right? We're always very nice when we screw up

somebody's car, too. I think there's a likelihood that they did it, but you have no way of proving it. No, but they'll know. Yeah. So I would go back and just be nice and say, guys, you did something else wrong.

They'll know what they did. Well, actually, it's been up again, and I'm supposed to bring it back today. And they're supposed to listen to it. And, again, they've been very cooperative in trying to help me work it out and to work it out with Mazda. But I guess I don't understand at 50,000 miles why I should be having problems with the transmission. You should not. You should not be, and that's where the Attorney General's office may come in. No, I'm serious, because in fact, somebody is at fault here, and it's not you.

Okay. I mean, this transmission should last 100,000 miles. Right. And either the dealership are the ones who made a mistake and caused it to die at 50,000 miles. Because they didn't put oil in it. Yeah. Or there's something inherently wrong with it that was wrong at manufacture, which is unlikely. In which case, Mazda will have to take care of it.

But between those two people, the manufacturer and the dealership, it's got to be fixed. And you got no part of this. On the other hand, you did get 50,000 relatively trouble-free miles out of it. So they may ask you to pay for half of it, which would not be unreasonable. If they were giving you a brand new one, if they gave you a brand new transmission, I would expect to pay half of it. On the other hand, if they rebuild this one, which they may choose to do, I expect to pay nothing. Okay. And you might mention that you've talked to a few people who suggested that when they changed the clutch, they could have forgotten to put oil in the transmission,

and that would account for the strange behavior of the dog. Okay. Good luck, Martha. Well, Jay, you've been very helpful. I appreciate it. All righty. Thanks a lot. See you. Bye-bye. Good luck.

Thanks. Right after these messages, you'll hear more calls and a new puzzler coming right up. In any great story, there's a moment that sparks your curiosity. It tells you there is more to uncover. How did this happen? How did we get here? That's where Embedded comes in. We are NPR's home for documentary journalism, immersive and intimate stories. I was stone cold speechless. Nothing will ever, ever, ever, ever be the same

here. Find Embedded wherever you get your podcasts. Jasmine Morris here from the StoryCorps podcast. Our latest season is called My Way. Stories of people who found a rhythm all their own and marched to it throughout their lives. Consequences and other people's opinions be damned. You won't believe the courage and audacity in these stories. Hear them on the StoryCorps podcast from NPR. I'm Rachel Martin. You probably know how interview podcasts with famous people usually go. There's a host, a guest, and a light Q&A. But on Wildcard, we have ripped up the typical script. It's a new podcast from NPR where I invite actors, artists, and comedians to play a game

using a special deck of cards to talk about some of life's biggest questions. Listen to Wildcard wherever you get your podcasts, only from NPR. Why is everyone so obsessed with traditional wives or trad wives on social media? Only from NPR. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack, the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, well, kind of, car repair, kind of, and whatever it is. Remember I made a statement one time, I've forgotten all the exact words,

it's going to cost you $200, no matter what it is, it's going to cost you $200 if that's what it is. I have that very motto hung up at the garage. You do? Yes, I do. Well, dear Tom, this is from R.R. Miller from Woodland Hills, California. Dear Tom and Ray, since I don't presently have a life, I listen to your program often. But when I do get my own life, you can bet that I will look for other stations to tune to during the time your program is on.

In the meantime, however, I do fear you can improve your program further, as discussed below. I refer to your statement that one may have to pay $200 to fix whatever it is that is wrong with the car, if that's what it is. But that is not the real problem, in my view. The real problem that concerns many of us is to have to pay to fix the problem if that is not what it is. Yes. As this can be an even more significant cost factor. For example, to fix a rattling muffler may cost $200 if that's what it is. But if that is not what it is, and it is in fact a rattling camshaft,

it could cost 10 times as much. You seem to ignore this important case. Therefore, can you please add your experience to this equation and expand your phrase to cover the complete case of fixing it, whether that is what it is or that is not? This would be a significant improvement in our understanding of car repair costs. Sincerely, R.R. Miller. understanding of car repair costs. Sincerely, R.R. Miller. R.R. Miller.

R.R. Miller has nothing to do with his time but to contemplate. But it is not on company letterhead. But I guess you would be a fool to print it out on company letterhead, wouldn't you? Which is the beauty of email now, of course. Yes, yes, it is. There's no letterhead involved. It just comes from cyberspace. No one knows where it came from. Oh, no, no.

If it comes from your, if your email address is at your place of work, you're going to know where it comes from. Guest. You sign on as a guest. Yeah. Sorry, this was sent to us by Paula Tyler from Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Arkansas. Arkansas. In fact, someone sent us a letter, which I've lost now, but it says,

why are you guys selling a CD that's the best of Car Talk? Why not, like, Wines of Arkansas? All right, you ready? Yeah. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were relaxing by the fire in the study of 221B Baker Street. I was there. Holmes was puffing on his favorite pipe

The clay pipe? Yes, Calabash, I believe. Yeah. While Watson was reading the Times. Suddenly, Watson glanced over the top of the newspaper and looked directly at Holmes. When is your birthday, Holmes? He asked. You tell me, Watson. He was

always giving Watson his little mind game. Never give him a damn straight answer. He always turned it around, asked him the question, or called him stupid for not knowing the answer already. What a relationship. It's sort of like you and me. You tell me, Watson, Holmes replied with a smile. The day before yesterday, I was 32. And next year, I will be 35. Wow. Impossible, snapped Watson. But Holmes was right. Can you tell what day of the year Holmes celebrated his birthday?

And what day this conversation took place. And Roman numeral three. What color was the robe, the smoking jacket that Holmes was wearing at the time? Oh, chartreuse. He always wore chartreuse. Mauve, I think. If you think you know the answer

or you have extra time at work and want to take a guess, either email it to us by visiting cartalk.com on the World Wide Web. A voted best website last week by Geek Week. Geek Week is not a magazine. I'll use the good old U.S. mail and send your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our fair city.

Meh, 02238. By the way, if you just want to hear the Puzzler again, which most people would consider painful, but you may not. It's also posted every week at CarTalk.com. Yeah. Anyway, if we choose your correct answer at random and you catch us, we'll send you a copy of the best of Car Talk on cassette or CD. If you'd like to call us, the number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Gail from South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Gail from where? South Philadelphia. South of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Which one is click? South Philadelphia. South of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Which one is click and which one's clack? Yes. So what can we do for you? The guy on the right is click. Oh, okay.

I thought so. Okay, I have a little problem here in Philadelphia. I feel like I'm sort of a fugitive of sorts here. My friends Jonathan and David told me to call you and that you might be able to help. Okay, I drive a Teal, okay, 1991 Saturn, which you'll need to know later, okay? 1991 Saturn. Yes.

And, okay, I take a bridge to work every day, and they charge $2 to get across this bridge. Okay, that's a little pricey, but I have to take it. So I have my $2 ready, and I'm waiting in a toll line that's like, you know, 15 cars long or something. And at the last minute, I realize that I'm in a coins-only lane, and there's no way to get across the traffic. And you start shredding the dollars, right? Exactly.

I had no choice of what to do. I had no way of pulling this kind of cash together. So I realized that it was also a tow lane where one of those arm things comes down, so it's not like I can just go through it. Ah, so you're going to have to run the rapids, as they say. Exactly. Shoot the rapids. Exactly. When the guy in front of you...

So I waited until the guy in front of me threw in his, whatever, 300 quarters or whatever, and when that arm thing went up, I went... You floored it. I floored it. I went through it. Buzzers went off. There was mayhem everywhere. Did you make it? No one followed me, though. You made it under, though.

I was very lucky. I don't know how I did it, but I made it under. Well, you've obviously discovered one of the best-kept secrets in the world. Who was there to chase you? Nobody. Nobody. No, of course not. My question is, do they take a picture of my license plate?

Is there some way that I could, like, send the $2 in? Because I don't want them to send something to my house because my husband's going to be so mad. So you have a guilty conscience about this. I really do, but I don't want to get caught in the I'm honest and then they're going to charge me $40 for doing this. Right. You may, in fact, be opening a Pandora's box by confessing to the crime. Exactly. You may be subjecting yourself to a toll evader's fine.

All right. So they'll take the two bucks from you, and then they'll come to your house and arrest you. I would certainly let... Here's what I would do. Okay. I would let sleeping dogs lie. Okay.

I mean, if you really feel some compunction to pay up, if the toll is $2, the next time you get in line, and for the next eight times you get in line, throw nine quarters in. Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay. It will never penalize you. It will never not send the gate up.

It will figure you're another stoop that just put in too much money. Right. The gate will go up, and within two months, you will have satisfied your conscience. You'll have satisfied the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Well, will they come get me? Is there any way they can get my address for my license? What bridge is it? We can find out.

It's called the Betsy Ross Bridge. Oh, the Betsy. It's 95 in Pennsylvania, where it recently burned down right by us. That's why I had to take that bridge. Okay. Well, we are trying to reach the Pennsylvania Transportation Authority. Okay. So the bridge is actually in reach the Pennsylvania Transportation Authority. Okay. So the bridge is actually in Pennsylvania.

From New Jersey to Pennsylvania. Oh, no, it's in New Jersey. It's a bridge over between the two states. Oh, so both states will be after you. Oh, it's the federal government then. It's a federal job. It's a federal offense. We have him on the phone?

You've got to be kidding me. Oh, my God. You're not going to believe this. Hold on a minute. We're not giving him your name. Okay. Evidently, Doug and Ken have just somehow gotten a hold of who? Dawn, somebody who's the bridge manager.

Hello, Dawn. Hello, Gail. Hello, Gail. Oh, this is cruel. Oh, my goodness. I really was ready to pay the $2, and I didn't have the change. Yeah, sure. Dale, we chased you for four miles.

No, wait a minute. Dawn, who are you really, Dawn? I'm the bridge manager at the Betsy Ross Bridge. You really are? I really am. If we don't get this $2 fast fast we might have to close this bridge up well but but for other people who might want to try what they'll did

do you take pictures we take we uh... it do surveillance of the toll plaza do we take specific pictures i am not at liberty to tell not at liberty to tell us but but the truth is that you could probably get through if that day came down on gail's car, Lord knows the destruction would have come. No. No, actually, the gates are made of breakaway wood.

We wouldn't want to damage anyone's car. I would not encourage anyone to try to do that. We do patrol our plaza with our own police force, and we do pursue toll evaders. And just for your information, a toll evasion fine is not $40 but more like $200. Oh, Gail. You're going to the slammer. I don't think Gail

wants to get herself in trouble. And Gail probably doesn't want Dawn to know even her last name. But look, how about this, Dawn, if Gail sends the money to us and we send it to you anonymously in the name of Gail, Gail Anonymous, then she'll be off the hook, right? And you won't know who she is, and she will not incriminate herself.

Is that okay with you? That sounds good to me, but Gail is not on my good side to begin with for calling my bridge toll a little pricey. No, well, it's a lot. I mean, that's a lot. How long a bridge is it, Dawn? How long is this bridge? New York bridges, $7 a shot. Oh, that's true.

How long is it, Dawn? I mean, it's, you know... Are there any trolls underneath the bridge? It's a mile and three quarters over the river, but if you don't use it, Gail, how are you going to get back into Pennsylvania? I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to.

Why do you have to have a coins-only lane? Well, we do have some to service patrons who have a commutation sticker on their window. I don't think they're marked very well, Don, because I didn't see it until the last minute. Kind of feisty for a lawbreaker, isn't she? I mean, hey, Gail. Cool it. I'm going to give me a name. And by the way, Gail, there is no statute of limitations on this.

We can find you. Hey, Dawn, thanks a lot for letting us find you. You're welcome. I don't know how we found you, but it's good to know. You're welcome. I'm looking forward for that $2 to arrive in a minute. All right. You will get it.

Don't worry. No, definitely. And if you don't get it, chase us for it, buddy. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. Thanks right, you will get it. Don't worry. Oh, definitely. And if you don't get it, chase us for it, buddy. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. Thanks. Thank you, Gail. Okay, thanks a lot.

Hey, wait a minute. Okay. Make sure you send us the money. Yeah, you don't think we're going to pay this two bucks, do you? In fact, you might want to send in extra

in case there's a penalty or anything. An extra $200. Yeah, yeah. Position handling and all that. It might be like $22.50. And you might want to include a little something to make sure

we don't divulge your last name. Oh, okay. Baked goods are always good. See you, Gail. Hey, Gail, you're a good sport. You were a little feisty with the guy, though. Well, he was being mean. Well, I think $2

is actually pretty reasonable for a bridge. I mean, bridges are hard to build. How do they build bridges? You have land on one side, land on the other side, and water in the middle. Batman, you know the thing he shoots across? Oh, that's right. So I guess $2 isn't bad, but it's not bad because the alternative is to be in New Jersey. Ah, yes.

Yeah, let's not forget that. There you go. Okay. Thanks for calling, Gail. Thanks a yes. Yeah, let's not forget that. There you go, so. Okay. Thanks for calling, Gail. Thanks a lot. And carry some quarters, will you? I will. Bye.

Bye. That was good. How did you do that, Ken? How did you find him? Very good. That's very good. Boy, we have a crack staff here. Yes, we do.

Yes, we do. And I will admit that I was quite impressed by the alacrity with which that whole process ensued. I mean, we got the call from Gale right away. Ken must have evaded the toll on this bridge once himself. He knew exactly where it was. Don Piccolo by his first name right away. Well, anyway, you've squandered another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer

is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, punk and lives Berman. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Auto Musicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our engineer this week

is Trish Anderton, filling in for Jennifer. I'm on vacation again, lobe. And our technical advisor is John Bugsy Sebastian, Mr. Height, Sweet Cheeks, Free Lunch, Twinkle Toes,

Hula Hips, Donut Breath, 2GB. I can't do that in one breath anymore. Make that three triple cheeseburgers lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marge Inovera. Our automotive medical researcher is Dr. Denton Fender. Our literary critics are Ernest

and Julia Hemingway. Our jazz music coordinator is Bertha DeBlues. Our lead blues singer this week is Ima Mann. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot. Our regional director in Atlanta is Frank Lee Scarlett, and our director of gender studies is Amanda B. Reckonwith. The designer of our casual clothing line is No Tai Woo. Our staff urologist is Willa Catheter. Our director of country music is Stan Byerman. The manager of our cartalk.com is Cy Burnett. The chairman of our underemployment study group is Ark Majors. The director of our psychic network is LaToyota Jackson. Our fleet manager is Oscar DeLaRentil. Our director of high-speed impact studies is Ricardo Montanabon.

Our producer's office is furnished by Rick Kleiner, and of course, our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham & Howes, U. Louis Dewey, known to the other bums in Harvard Square as U.E. Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening, and we're clicking clacks at the tap of brothers. Don't drive like my brother.

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