The Best of Car Talk - #2440: Mom is Sprung from the Slammer

Episode Date: May 18, 2024

Were Click and Clack part of some horrible experiment in child-rearing or were they just born that way? Their mother, Elizabeth, joins them on Mother's Day to ponder where she went so terribly wrong with these two on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Last year, over 20,000 people joined the Body Electric study to change their sedentary screen-filled lives. And guess what? We saw amazing effects! Now you can try NPR's Body Electric Challenge yourself. Listen to updated and new episodes wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Car Talk on National Public Radio with my boys, Click and Clack, the Tablet Brothers. Hello boys. Boy, you're getting professional at this. on national public radio with my boys click and clack the tablet brothers hello boys boy you're getting professional at this hi mother that if you haven't recognized her wonderful

voice so far is my mother not his mother my mother Elizabeth what's your middle name? Jones. Maria? Maria. I never knew that. She changes it all the time. Elizabeth, my father is in the studio, he says you never heard it either. She's full of surprises, isn't she? She just made it up. That's where you got it from. She makes up everything.

Don't let me laugh. My mother is here to help us all celebrate Mother's Day! So here we are, ready to, we're willing to accept calls for us about cars, or about relationships, or calls to my mother, and my brother's mother, that's four people in this video, for any questions you may have about mothering or whatever, I don't know what it could be. Her field of expertise is how to avoid the mistakes that you might make in mothering because God knows she made them all. Well, Doug said we may get some calls about, he was prepping my mother in the green room. Yes.

What green room? And he said, while we were eating our bagels, and and he said we may get some calls about people asking about mothering and she said why would they ask me I failed. Nevertheless our number is 1-800-332-9287 hello you're on Car Talk. Hi this is Sandy and I'm calling from Prescott Arizona. Sandy? How are you? Hi Sandy.

I am fine how about yourself? Great. Sandy are you German? No, I'm not. Why? I'm trying to figure out where you're from. Well, actually... Don't tell me, don't tell me, because my second guess is Puerto Rico. No, as a matter of fact, I was born and raised in Tecate, where they brew the beer. No kidding. And as of last week, I am a US citizen now. Wonderful! Congratulations! Thank you.

I mean, you have just a little, little hint of something. You came here when you were six. Oh, born here. No, actually, I came here 13 years ago when I got married. Wow, and you learned to speak this language so beautifully, and my brother's been here for 59 years and he hasn't figured it out yet. Okay I'm sorry back to you. That's okay. Happy Mother's Day ma'am.

Thank you. Okay. Are you a mother? Yes I have two children. I have a boy who's eight and a little girl who's ten. Oh you have a long way to go sweetheart. Oh. Jesus sounds like some kind of a prison sentence. What's with the joyousness? You have a long way to go sweetheart. Maybe if you're lucky they'll run away and join the circus.

Come on Lizzie, lighten up. Was it that bad? Well as a matter of fact I work at school, so I'm with them literally 24 hours a day. Oh, that's worse. That's why I have long days. That's why. Yeah, well, my mother won't admit it, but she fortunately had her mother living with us until I was... When did grandma pass on? When I was about nine.

Yeah. So she really did all the heavy lifting. Grandma did. Yeah, she did. Yeah, she did. And mom used to, you know, she used to go to the flower show. She used to go shopping. At least she wasn't full of the sauce. know, she used to go to the flower show, she used to go shopping. At least she wasn't full of the sauce.

Well, yeah, well that was the reason her mother hung around. Oh, and in the slammer, right? And in the slammer, what's wrong with these, where have I failed? Well, my father did admit the other day that my mother actually proposed to him. No, that isn't true. And that he would accept only under one condition

that her mother could come and live with him for 25 years. Yeah. He said, if your mother can't live with us for at least 25 years, then forget it. I have no interest in you whatsoever. And she finally acquiesced. You talk about the patience of a saint. I mean, think about it.

If your mother-in-law came to live with you for 25 years, not because there's anything wrong with my mother-in-law, I don't want to get myself in hot water. You already have. It's too late. But it isn't something you wake up every day and say, boy, I wish my mother-in-law would come and live with me. All right, anyway, what's on your mind, Sandy?

OK, well, I tell you, I have a nineteen ninety five mitzvah bc montana ala and if my car was an actor my car would be portraying the role of phoenix anger on the uh... i'd couple having a finance attack all of the new need the new year at all every time i accelerate i have this obnoxious noise and since my children are in control of the radio I do not know what is worse the volume or the sound that I have in the car What do you think? I think the sinus attack is rather benign

And I think it's something like a a heat shield rattle on the exhaust system Oh, but you don't have two children playing rock and roll very loud in the car Just popping your eardrums, and you don't have two children playing rock and roll very loud in the car just popping your eardrums. And you can still hear it? Yes. And the noise sounds like when you... it always happens at a specific RPM, I bet. You know what? I never noticed that. Or a range. It's just, for example, if I take my foot off the accelerator and I go to accelerate again, it does this rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr put the noise in at the factory. Or it's normal for every other one.

Right. It is not normal. It does not make a big noise like that when you rev it up. It should not. And it should be fairly easy for them to figure this out. They're just not very interested in it and I don't know why. I would definitely take it back to the dealer, have them drive it, and if they say it's normal, insist that it is not normal because you've

driven others and you have other witnesses, me, who say that it does not make any such noise. So it is not normal and you want them to find out what it is and fix it and that's it. Tell them, look, I'm a citizen of these here United States and I want it done and I want it done now. Or I'll write to my congressman that's right now i'm not a probably has some words of wisdom about what to do with the kids with the with the rock and roll music i have a question for your mom have ever found

the magic formula for the kid to answer your children when they go are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet that that that i would say shut up and listen uh... no because she was always the one who was asking my father with the uh... i can't stand being in the same car with the kids we get yet that all my grandmother was asking my father are we there yet uh... okay

we always enough with grandma i still have to find a car that I can sit my two children in. They don't quite reach each other. You know how it is with smaller children. You have to draw the imaginary line across the seat. Don't cross over this line. Oh, it's murder. It's murder.

Right. You have to get very creative. See, now my mother actually doesn't have experience with any of that because most of the time that we were kids, my brother wasn't around it was my sister and I who were around because we were closer in age and we were just about as perfect a pair of siblings as you could ever imagine. Oh, they're in cloud nine here. I cannot remember a single argument that I ever had with my baby sister.

That's because you always had her tied up and she couldn't talk. Nor did we ever make any trouble in my memory. What memory? All right, Elizabeth, for all of national public radio audience to hear, for all of our audience to hear, of the three, who was truly the joy, who was the most wonderful child ever, who was of the joy? Who was the most wonderful child ever? Who was of the three? Of the three?

Yeah, I know, because you have to have a favorite. I mean, you can't say. I know you love us all the same. But who was the best? Well, I'm going to ask you that question. Well, you can't answer it with a question. I'm just asking you simply. Why can't I answer?

Which one of us was was your estimation the least troubled and the most wonderful child to raise? I have to ask a question. Yeah. Which one of your children is your favorite? Oh, I didn't say favorite. I didn't say favorite. Oh, very good. I didn't say favorite. I said least troublesome. Oh, well, we certainly opened a can of worms, but we will press her on this issue as time goes on. Sandy, good luck with your noise and don't take whatever the dealer tells you because there's something wrong.

I'll tell them that I got the advice from the experts. Thanks an awful lot. I really appreciate it. Have a happy Mother's Day and bye. Bye, Sandy. Bye-bye. 1-800. There is a certain camaraderie among mothers, isn't there?

They all have that long-suffering sound to their voices. Oh, yes. She says, Happy Birthday, and you say, Oh, you too. Oh, Jesus. Well, you're not a mother. You don't understand. Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day, she said. What did I say? Happy Birthday. Oh, Happy Mother's Day. I'm sorry. Things are happening to me here.

Well, they do understand one another, I guess. They certainly do. We're mothers, we understand everything. Everything. Everything. Well, we'll see about that. Do you understand my brother? By the way, you sobered up wonderfully today.

Oh, about that sobering up. We'll talk about that later. No, you do. Tell them what the priest said to you. My mother called me about two weeks ago and she said, hey. I said, what? She said, you got me in trouble. I said, why? Tell them what you said.

She's in church. They got me in trouble. I walked into church and our pastor says to me, he was a visiting priest rather, and he said to me, I see you're out of the slammer. The slammer. I said, what slammer? He said, but the next time you go in, he says, just call me. I'll come in.

I'll say a prayer for you. He makes visits to the prison. The puzzler answered and more calls are coming up right after this. All that sitting and swiping, your body is adapting to your technology. Learn how and what you can do about it. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. Once I started realizing what a difference these little bricks were making,

there's no turning back for me. Take NPR's Body Electric Challenge. Listen to the series wherever you get your podcasts. In this country, some truths aren't self-evident. In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of stories as wide-ranging and real as the people who tell them, we celebrate the Black experience for all its soul and richness. Search NPR Black Stories Black Truths wherever you get podcasts. This is my voice. It can tell you a lot about me, and I'm not changing it for anyone.

In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, you'll find a collection of NPR episodes centered on Black experiences. Search NPR Black Stories, Black Truths wherever you get your pockets. This message comes from Wondery. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy-winning phenomenon, were exposed as frauds. But none of this was their idea. So whose was it? Follow Blame It on the Fame on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, brother dearest.

Oh, geez. Wait a minute. This is the time. This is going to be the puzzle of time. One minute, I have, yeah, okay. I carry this around all week. You mean the puzzler about the, uh... Huh? Yeah. Mark the Shock Kowalski?

Here you go. You got it, man. What does that mean? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Mark the Shock? Not mock, Mark. Mark the shark, Kowalski. Here you go.

Still don't know what it means. Mark Kowalski. That's a name I should know. Was his memory always like this or is this recent? I don't know. I don't know what's happening to you two. Mark the shark Kowalski. Oh!

I got it. I remember what this is. This was about the the bank statement. Very good. It was tax time recently and Dougie Berman, our esteemed producer and God knows what else, was sitting down to balance the checkbook. And since Dougie is basically, how would you put it? Dumb. Stupid. Mark is sitting there. Mark the shark Kowowalski, is sitting there next to him to help out. So Mark has the bank statement and he says, okay, Dougie, what did you come up with?

And Dougie says, I came up with, uh, he gives him the number and Mark says, hmm, that's the wrong number. That's not what the bank says. We have. Oh, says Dougie. I got to add all these numbers up again? It's going to take me hours. Mark says, wait a minute. how much are you off by?

Doug looks at the figures and says, 27 bucks. Mark says, don't add the numbers again. It's not an addition error. Oh, we, I know what you did. Dougie says, you do? He says, yes, you transpose two numbers when you copied them down. Sure enough, Dougie goes back and he checks and he certainly had transposed those two numbers where they were supposed to be, it was supposed to be 1074, he had written 1047.

Yeah, and of course if you subtract those two, the difference is 27, that was the check for Bugsy for the cheeseburgers. I think, wasn't it? Yeah, and the arithmetic involved here is if you ever transpose numbers, difference is twenty seven that was the checked up for bugs e for the cheese burgers and that was a man yeah and the arithmetic involved here is if you ever transpose numbers you will end up with a sum which is a multiple of nine yes difference in sums

which is a multiple of nine yes try it out and what he did was he subtracts forty seven from seventy four you get get 27 and 9 times 3 is 27 Yeah, and if you try other things you transpose 81 and 18 you get 30 you get something I could actually do it me say let me three time which is 9 times 63 exactly. That's right So this is I just must be in a little a little accountants trick, huh? Yes, this is a little accountants trick. I've asked him. One of the many accountants tricks, we might add.

Especially Mark the Shark. This is one of the ones that the IRS does know about. And doesn't mind. Yeah, that was very good. Yes, yes it was. Better than Berman's last couple of buttons. Nines are interesting. I noticed, my daughter is in the fourth grade

and she's learning multiplication tables One of which of course you may remember is nine. Yes And I had never noticed that nine times one is nine nine times two is 18 Eight plus one is nine. Yes, nine times three is 27 seven and two is nine. Yes, 36 nine. Yes I noticed that I think in third grade Well, anyway, we don't we want to know who the is, and why don't we have Mom read the winner's name. Go ahead, Mom.

Here it is. Can you read this? I think I can. The winner this week is Philip Cheng, who studied medicine in jail. Not jail, Yale! He's from New Haven, Connecticut. He's in medical school at Yale. And what does he get for being the winner, mother dear?

Let me see. Oh, he gets a copy of the best of car talk on CD. You really allowed to call it the best of car talk. Well, we're allowed to. No one has to believe it. I mean, there are no federal restrictions. No one said anything yet. And all the other junk you people.

Ah, come on now we'll be careful be careful which is the divided guess here uh... you want to go back to the seven eleven it by the way if you didn't win the puzzle if you want a copy of the best of carton can always get one in our talk dot com on the worldwide web or by calling carton's shameless commerce division numbers three zero three

eight two three eight thousand congratulations to uh... uh... philip shangy with the isn't jail they'll watch what he had a little bit of a well we have a brand new puzzle coming up during the second half of today's show so stay tuned for that but in the meantime if you like to call us the numbers one eight hundred three three two nine two eight seven whole year on car talk

i think it's a from cincinnati a jim playa don't real good real good i've a question for you my mom has never learned how to drive okay there is no that's fine although she's got a license for about sixty years we'll discuss that later i drove i drove you to a music class my mother used to drive me to my guitar lesson with mr. scribner remember no ribner professor ribner to drive me to my guitar lesson with mister scrimmage no no rip now professional rip remember the guy very well professor rizzo right yeah called himself professor

i mean i don't mind remember that i remember that you did that in fact i remember the day you took that turn in union square and all the doors flew open but i don't know that that was kind of cute anyway jim what's your question well i have two questions for you actually one if she she'd like to learn not my father recently passed away she she doesn't have transportation she's

queen of public transportation in chicago she can get anywhere she needs to really yeah city uh... she had grandchildren here in cincinnati in in baltimore all over it'd be great if she could drive i was wondering what kind of car should she buy or we should buy her answer kid and um... i got like that a show for a little more uh... how many kids are involved in how old is your mother

uh... mother sixty something i have uh... to older brothers and younger sister uh... to whom live in Chicago. And we were wondering also who should teach her of us or maybe our wives or husbands. None of those. None of those. None of those. No. Not if you want to keep peace in the family. Okay, so we should go to one of those driving schools. Yes. So you have two siblings that live in Chicagoago that correct and so there's always no obviously no problem with her visiting them right that it's you and you who your brother yeah my oldest brother your older brother who live out of town you guys the real problem

yeah it were the problem right word for you then she would have no need for a car that that's right okay how long a ride is that i love the cincinnati it's about uh... five hours baltimore cash i don't know Chicago and you expect your your mother he had as a novice driver to get into some car and drive on the interstate with semi zipping by her on both sides of the miles an hour you want to subject to do this so she can visit you

well i you know but that's not exactly, I was just asking. Well, is your mother gonna leave you a lot of money? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha knowing we'd like a safe car for yeah i i i personally i don't know that i would want a sixty-something year old woman to stop driving and then immediately get onto a interstate i have to agree with my brother you know i never agree with him but you know it claimed that that she wasn't worried about herself driving she was worried about all the other crazy people on the road no she is well she said she should be

but you never gonna believe this but guess who happens to be on the other line i have a james mother You're never gonna believe this, but guess who happens to be on the other line right now? I give up. Jim's mother! Oh, God, I love you. You're right. Who can't believe that you told the whole world how old I am, number one. He said 60-something. And number two, that I don't drive, and that I can't get anywhere.

You know, the odd children think that we're in la-la land. We're not in la-la land. We're as bright as can be. I don't know. You know, our children think that we're in La La Land. We're not in La La Land. We're as bright as can be. We're brighter than air. Absolutely. I mean, you know, all these years I've managed to get around. You bet. Amazingly well. Well, thank you for that. They want to bump you off now. They want your money.

What is your name, Mrs. Jim? My name is Diane. Hi, Diane. Hi, there. I think you're absolutely right. That Jim? My name is Diane. Hi, Diane. Hi there. I think you're absolutely right. That's what public transportation is for. Airplanes, buses, trains and all that stuff. I'm strongly in favor of public transportation of all kinds.

And I also think that if the children really are concerned about my getting around, they can get me a chauffeur. Exactly. Absolutely. That was my suggestion to Jim when he first called. What you should get is a show for exactly absolutely that was my suggestion to jim when he first called you what you should get as a show for the limo and if they want you to visit they they should pony up the money for the airline ticket they forgot all the diapers that you watched in our cooking you did and i'll be a little late

uh... they're ungrateful well we know that i don't have to go that far tell you to miss shape up agent yet you're glad you called uh... i can't you like that i'm out of town

that way out there don't forget to wish mom a happy mother's day that that that happy mother that your mother as well thanks for calling and thanks for calling by and i think you know i think it's they put diet if they want to see you they'll come to Chicago. Oh you have a great mother. Tell your boys they have a great mother. Well I think I am and I think they know. Keep it up, keep it up.

Show them that you're not in La La Land. I am definitely not there. God love you. Thanks for calling Jim, thanks Diane. Well thank you, I enjoy your show. Happy Mother's Day Diane. Thanks for calling Jim. Thanks, Diane. Well, thank you. I enjoy your show. Happy Mother's Day, Diane. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Don't move because more calls and the new puzzler are coming right up. What does it mean to be black in America? In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of stories as varied, nuanced, and dynamic

as black experiences, you'll hear. It means everything. Search NPR Black Stories, Black Truths wherever you get your podcast. It's a high stakes election year, so it's not enough to just follow along. You need to understand what's happening so you are fully informed come November. Every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast, our political reporters break down important stories and backstories from the campaign trail, so you understand why it matters to you.

Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. What does it mean to be Black in America? In NPR's Black Stories, Black Truths, a collection of stories as varied, nuanced, and dynamic as the Black experience, you'll hear it means everything. Search NPR, Black Stories, Black Truths, wherever you get your podcasts. On this week's episode of Wild Card, actor Chris Pine tells us it's okay not to be perfect. My film got absolutely decimated when it premiered, which brings up for me one of my primary triggers

or whatever it was like not being liked. I'm Rachel Martin. Chris Pine on how to find joy in imperfection. That's on NPR Radio with us, clicking clack for Tappan Brothers. Here to discuss cars, car repair, and motherhood with our dear, sweet, wonderful, caring, loving mother Elizabeth Maliotzi. Would you want to say something to our listeners, mother dear? Yeah, okay, that's fine. That'll be enough. Just be quiet. Just sit there and be quiet. Alright. Just sip on that little drink we gave you.

It's orange juice! Okay, wait. Wait, before we go into the puzzle, remember I asked people for new car names and are they running out of names we said they're not running out of names man We got nine million Well, maybe ten Here, I'll just read you a few these are from Wendy and Patrick points on the Ford Harrison the Audi innie From who's this who is this from, the Ford Exploder, I like

that one, from Drew Robertson, the John Wilkes Buick, and one of my favorites, my old buddy Jerry Eisner, the Chrysler Recall, with the accent on the second syllable, because if you put the accent on the first syllable because if you put the accent on the first syllable they make you apologize on national public radio. Whoa, Jerry! Good, good! That's it. Very cute. It's obvious that there's no paucity of names.

There is no paucity of names. All you have to do is bring people's attention to a problem and the world can solve it. Absolutely, absolutely. Talking about solving things, solve this. This came to us, this was emailed to us from David Olson in Cambridge, his fair city, Minnesota. Names will have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. I will obfuscate wherever obfuscation is necessary. Which is everywhere. Go ahead. Bob was a rabid car restorer who delighted in rescuing a derelict from a farmer's field.

Not a derelict, a derelict car. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in fact, this thing was a... He said rabbit. Did he mean avid? Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. He was a... Oh, no. Okay. Fine. Fine. ...frozzing at the mouth. Okay. Anyway, Bob finds this 42 Chevrolet sedan and a quick check of the car's serial number reveals to Bob, not his real name, of course, that this was one of

the last Chevrolets built before production at the Chevrolet plant switched over to building B-24s with a war effort. Yeah. Holy cow, he says, and he gets the car, he takes it home and begins to disassemble and refurbish every nut, bolt, and everything on the old Chevy. Fifteen months later, the car is done. The thing glistened. Does that mean it's free to work on a 63 Dodge die?

Yeah. Ha ha ha. The thing glistened in its new original color paint. The mohair interior was spotlessly restored, the chrome sparkled, and the engine ran like new. However, when he entered the car in a competition, they have competitions for these kinds of things where they show off these old junkers. Of course, the start has been in many of them.

It failed to beat several cars which clearly had not been as carefully restored as Bob's, not his real name. In fact, he was almost disqualified from the competition. Why? You have all the facts here. Everything is here. Embedded. Albeit deeply. Bugsies get to look like he knows. He knows. See? You'd think he's just a lump of coal sitting out there. He rolled over, snorted, drooled in his chest and said, I don't know the answer.

He said, I had a hoite accident and I'm about to sleep again. Oh, leave him alone. I like him. Yeah, yeah, you would. Yeah, you all do drug-sticking together. Now, if you think you know the answer or you have extra time at work and want to take a stab at it, either email it to us by visiting Cartalk.com on the World Wide Web, or use the good old U.S. mail and send your answer to Puzzler Tower, Cartalk Plaza, Box 3500,

Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238. And by the way, if you just want to hear the puzzler or read it again, it's also posted every week at Cartalk.com. Well, we will have many visitors this week because I want to hear that again. Anyway, if we choose your correct answer at random and you catch us, we'll send you a copy of the best of Cartalk on cassette or CD. If you'd like to call us, don't interrupt! You always told us not to interrupt when we were kids. Will you stop pushing that stuff? You sound like Don Imus. Hahahaha!

Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey guys, happy Mother's Day. Elizabeth? Yes. Thank you. Oh, thank you. You must just be Happy Mother's Day. Elizabeth? Yes. Thank you. Oh, thank you.

You must just be oozing with pride there in the studio. Oh, she is. She's been very proud of us for a long... No? She's shaking her head. Oh, well, 20 minutes now. Well... I keep saying, where have I failed?

To whom are we speaking? This is Chris calling from the home of the Studebaker, the now-defunct Studebaker south of Indiana. Yes. Yeah. How are you guys? This is Chris calling from the home of the Studebaker, the now defunct Studebaker south in Indiana. Yes. Yeah. How are you guys? We're doing great, Chris.

Pretty good. Wonderful, wonderful. I've got a Honda Accord LXI, 1988, just turned over 100,000 miles. I've got some brake problems with it though. And the trouble I've been having is having actually noticed that a long time back and i thought it was a fluke uh... it's become more frequent but still very intermittent uh... if i'm driving down the road

when i hit the break if i get it and i think from the first time it they seem to grab fine uh... it's when i'm driving say on uh... the highway and one of the just kind of a leisurely stop on the pedal sinks to the floor thanks right to the floor but it doesn't happen all the time

and uh... i'm i'm afraid i'm going to come to either just not stop one of these times radio work in a cost i'm not sure what it is it's gonna cost you all car well if you don't fix it's not possible character it may be more it'll cost me an arm and a leg at that time very good maybe Now I always hate to ask these questions or to jump so quickly to the answer because when I do this

There's one to jump to here obviously yeah, well I I'm I feel pretty confident Because I trust that you haven't done anything to investigate this Yeah, you. Oh, gee. Nothing. Nothing. Now, what you need, and you need it desperately, is a new master cylinder. Surely.

Because the master cylinder will behave exactly like that if you press gently on the pedal. In fact, that's the test we use. If a customer comes into the shop and says, oh, my pedal is sinking to the floor on occasion, what we'll do is sit there in the car and as lightly as you possibly can exert pressure on that brake pedal and you will see over a period of time, sometimes it takes a minute or more, that pedal will just sink all the way down to the floor and sometimes the brake warning light will come on. Because what's happening is the fluid is sneaking past the piston and it's like, you know, that

kids' game where you stick your two fingers with the Chinese trap there, you stick your fluid is sneaking past the piston and it's like you know that kids game when you stick your two fingers with the Chinese trap there stick your two fingers in this thing and you if you pull them real fast you can't get them out same thing when you step on the pedal real fast the fluid can't get by so it makes the car stop but when it's trapped we're supposed to get trapped right it's forced to the wheels and that's why the pedal feels okay. But when you press the pedal gently, you allow the fluid to get by the seals in the master cylinder and hence the pedal sinks to the floor.

If you take your foot off and pump it once, the pedal will come right back. Eventually that won't even happen and eventually no matter what you do, you'll be dragging your heel on the ground trying to stop this thing. I'll be pulling a Flintstone another round. I mean how many times has done this started much more frequently in the last couple of weeks my this actually with my wife car uh... her pride and joy

uh... we got a chrysler minivan that she now drives but she doesn't obviously feel comfortable driving in our health on the view is she uh... that that kind of a talk that's awesome well i mean if she's fond of you at all she will help to convince you to not even drive this car to the to the mechanic but the toilet

no kidding okay because i mean you could lose the brakes at any time and who knows some little kids gonna go running across the street chasing a ball it isn't worth it for the fifteen twenty or fifty bucks gonna cost you the toilet i would tell it what kind of cost we talked about for master cylinder few hundred five hundred

bucks installed so it's nothing worse replace worth uh... replacing the car over a hardly you open up the way harder well we can i ought to talk to her up the x-rays and you like chris but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but i don't know you you need to you need to get this fixed right away that's that's very important i certainly will then okay well i thank you very much great thanks for calling credit here be on your mother there we are yet man not dog quiet knowing not eat will be taking the bus home chris chris has brought up an interesting question which are

i think we should explore for a moment he said to you he said you must be awfully proud. Yes now I remember I was I was thinking is that of this on my way over here today. I remember Back in the old days when I was like an engineer remember those days. I remember I was working for Sylvania Semiconductor Division. I remember. I mean, we were on the forefront of semiconductor technology. And when people asked my mother, what does your son do?

Ha ha ha ha ha! She used to say, what did you remember, don't you? Ha ha ha ha! Go ahead. Ha ha ha ha! She used to say... Ha ha ha ha ha! Go ahead! She's the same! Ha ha ha ha ha! Chris, you can do it, mom!

Ha ha ha ha ha! It was sad! Ha ha ha ha! What did he used to tell folks about Tommy? He's so funny! No, he makes! He makes flashbulbs! Ha ha ha ha ha! He makes flash bulbs. No, he makes. He makes flash bulbs. He makes flash bulbs.

Flash bulbs. I mean, there I was on the forefront of technology, and she told people, I think it was even light bulbs. He makes light bulbs. Well, to her, that was important. I mean, where would we be without light bulbs? No, I think she was belittling the job that I had. What is he doing? He doesn't do anything. He just makes a stupid, insignificant little thing. It was very likely that she had some insight into the future at that point. She may have. That she knew that you were destined to do nothing. I'm just wondering, when people say to you now, what do your sons your sons do what do you I mean what do

you tell them you mean with pride do you say nothing they tell me they work but I don't know where they were 1-800-332-9287 all your own card talk hi this is Leslie from Northampton hi Hi Leslie. How are you? We're well, how are you? That would be Massachusetts, right? Northampton, Massachusetts, yes. Yeah, I've been there once, I think. I've been there.

That's a very pretty little town. It's beautiful, the Pioneer Valley, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm an English teacher at a vocational high school in Northampton, and we have over a dozen shops including automotive and auto body. And the way the school system work here is that the and one week in their shop with their hands-on training

and one week in academics where they take english math science and history and pain complain a lot of the students complain that that week of academics that alternating week is even too much for them and why do we need to learn literature and composition if we're going to be mechanics

and i know what what what i have my brother's recite a poem or two it's like that to do the daffodil poem again on all of these people who are people who have been yeah if you could quote shakespeare appreciate yes and this inverted ball that's not shakespeare well i i have an answer that i can't come we have mixed classes so i can't teach out of the electricians manuals plumber's manual in the culinary arts to all of them so we all

each of us in the english department teacher own to our own strength and we teach drama literature and journalism uh... fiction poetry and a research paper i think that any any practice in reading and writing will help you reading manuals or the state code or recipes releases when they go out into the real world and that they're not just going to be tradesmen and women but they're going to

be members of society and we tackle a lot of moral and ethical issues in our classes too. But they're not buying that. So my question for your mom is what kind of students were you in school and a question for you is how would you respond to their statements that mechanics don't need to know literature and composition. Yeah, okay let's hit the first one first. I mean what kind of students were we?

Good students. We were good students. We were we were we were good boys weren't we mother? Listen to the Victrola No the crystal set We had rules in my family yeah,, what were they? They were made by mama. Yeah. You do your homework first, then you can go out and play. Then you milk the cows. Then you can go out and play. Well, we milk our cows during the school day. That's what we do on the farm. We have a farm here. Oh, cool. Yeah. Well, I tell you, and mother is right, I mean, we were good students because she laid down the law you do your work. She did you crack the whip?

Then you get a crust of bread No, she did crack the whip and I have to say that She would not let us do anything until we did our homework to finish the homework She was from the old and the toughest part Was that not going to the bathroom part. That was really rough and you should be, you shouldn't have done that. The reason was that I had made those rules,

but you would be too tired to do your homework later after you played. Yes, yes. So do it now. Yes, but you could let us go to the bathroom now. And to answer, to address the issue of the importance of drama, So do it now. Yes, but you could let us go to the bathroom now. And to answer, to address the issue of the importance of drama, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I employ my dramatic background. I mean, how else?

Can you sell a pair of MacPherson struts that somebody doesn't need without a little theatrical, a little histrionics behind it? To buy or not to buy? To buy or not to buy. So you know you do you do need in whatever endeavor you choose you do need a well-rounded education because there are many times that I think that I use my knowledge of physics to block a customer that's trying to run out the door without paying you, to know where to position myself. I think you should force them to listen to our show because you can present all this other stuff to them in the form of an investment in their future.

First of all, to be serious for a minute, being a mechanic is no longer being a grease monkey and it's getting worse every day, meaning more difficult. So if you can't understand how to read, you're in big, big trouble trying to figure out how to fix a car. Right. Secondly, when they do become automobile mechanics, they will learn very quickly how hard a job may be physically demanding a job that it is. They will then be looking for ways to escape. And radio is one of the

ways to do that. Yes, it is. And if they are inarticulate. These are future contributors to NPR possibly. They are future performers, employees of NPR. And then maybe they could take your show over. That's my point. And when you buy something that you have to put together, how many pieces do you have left over? I have, usually most. Oh yeah. Those gas grills. And I knew my brother was no longer fit to fix cars anymore when he had 19 pieces left over from his gas grill assembly job. Anyway, Leslie, tell your students to hang in there. The more they know, the better off they'll be. See you later. All right.

Bye. Bye. Well, you've squandered another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. The part of our mother this week was played by Barbara Bush. Don't say that. Thanks for being here, Mother. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Punken Louis Berman. Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Rogers, Babyface

Rogers, I might add. Our engineer and assistant producer is Jennifer Travel and Leisure Loeb. And our technical advisor is John Bugsy, Sebastian, Mr. Height Sweetcheeks, Free Lunch, Twinkle Toes, Hula Hips, Donut Breath, 2 Gigabytes. Make that three triple cheeseburgers, Lawler. on blues. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot. I love him. Our director of gender studies is Amanda B. Reckonwith. Our director of pedestrian operations is Carlos Castaneda. The designer of our casual clothing line is No Tai Wu.

Our staff urologist is Willa Catheter. Our director of country music is Stan Byerman. The chairman of our underemployment study group is Art Majors. The head of our empty threats department is Mr. Y.I. Otter. Ah, yeah, Y.I. Otter, yeah, sure. Our fleet manager is Oscar DeLaurento. Our staff marriage counselor is Marion Haste.

Our producer's office is furnished by Rick Kleiner. And of course, our chief counselor from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe is Hugh Lewis Dewey, known around Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack for Tapper Brothers. Don't drive like my mother. Don't drive like my mother. We'll be back next week. Thanks mom.

Bye bye. If you want a cassette copy of this week's show, which is number 19, you can order it electronically on the World Wide Web through the Shameless Commerce Division of Cartock.com or telephonically by calling 303-823-8000. You can also order the best of Car Talk the same way. Click on the Shameless Commerce division at CarTalk.com or call 303-823-8000. Car Talk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe, and WBUR in Boston. And even though people are dubious when they hear my kids say it, this is NPR, National Public Radio. I'm Rachel Martin.

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