The Best of Car Talk - #2443: Like a Boil on His Neck

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Beth is pretty sure that her husband is wearing out the clutch on their Honda. If Click and Clack agree that she's right, how much fun is she allowed to have reminding him of this for the rest of thei...r marriage? Click and Clack explore automotive 'love languages' on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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Starting point is 00:00:00 On this week's episode of Wild Card, poet laureate Ada Lamone tells us how to give yourself a little grace. The nice thing about being in my mid to late 40s, yeah, I forgive myself all the time. Join me, Rachel Martin, for NPR's new podcast, Wild Card, the game where cards control the conversation. Hello and welcome to Card Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tablet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Futurism Department here at Car Talk Plaza. A couple of months ago, we quoted someone I think from Chevrolet as saying that the cop holder war was over.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Months ago? That was like yesterday. Time does fly. The new Chevy Venture Van had 17 or 18 cup holders, and Chevy was saying to Chrysler, give it up, we won let's call a truce and go on with our lives but of course that was not to be and it turns out there was just a lull in the action before the entire new front opened up get this according to automotive news the cup holder war is turning from quantity to quality as it should it's
Starting point is 00:01:24 sort of the left brain, right brain thing. Exactly. Now future cup holders will be judged not merely on their plenteousness, but also on their ergonomics. Plenty, excuse me. Plenteousness? Plenty.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Plenteousness. Plenty. As in like how many there are? I looked it up in my Funk and Berman dictionary and it said. It said plenteousness. It said it was a real word. All right, so not merely on the I'm sorry to interrupt not merely on the plenteousness
Starting point is 00:01:51 But what else also on the ergonomics and even more now here's a sneak preview of some of the cup holder technology That lies in store for us. Yeah Well, there were three basic technologies that they discussed one was the door mounted swing out cup holder you swing the door out of the couple are you get in your close the door you and then out from the door swings a cup holder so it doesn't interfere would like changing the station they would you know if you driving along right now the couple does a right there in the middle of the dashboard in a lot of cars
Starting point is 00:02:22 what if all of a sudden you driving driving along and our show comes on? You gotta reach over quickly to change the station, you spill the coffee. No more, because now it swings up. Well then there's just the backseat tray which folds down like an airline food tray. Yeah, but all right, I mean, Jaguar has had that for dozens of years. Well I know, but now it's not decades. Right, but that was a patrician car now it's just technology is a full down trade. Does it come with the little silver forks,
Starting point is 00:02:49 plastic forks, like in the L.A.? China. China. Yeah but on the cutting edge of technology get this the beverage mate. It has two aluminum lined cup holders. You flip a switch and it chills two 12 ounce cans of soda in 30 minutes. Flip it the other way and it heats up a plastic cup of coffee to 150 degrees. Isn't that... What's that cost? 300 bucks. 300 bucks? So what? It's just another little addition to the car. It increases the resale
Starting point is 00:03:26 value. It's like adding a bathroom to your house. Well, that's it, man. I mean, there is technology here that boggles the mind. And I'm glad to see that people like General Motors and Chrysler Corporation are working on stuff like this. I mean, this is the kind of stuff they ought to be working on. Everything else, well, they try and leave that to the Japanese. You know, like engines and drive trains. Yeah, absolutely. They finally found an area that they can attack and conquer.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Exactly, and I think that's good. Most people, many people do that. President company accepted. If you'd like to call us to the question about your car, number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi guys, this is Joe from Tennessee. Joe, J-O? J-O. You gave your E to the Bosnians? Well, yeah, they needed them in the Val Drive. Excellent. What's up, Joe? Okay, guys, here's my problem yes i have a nineteen eighty one european made sob turbo nine hundred
Starting point is 00:04:31 got five doors in its painted walnut most important thing to know its color is walnuts it's a walnut color that's a nice brown with rust holes actually there's a contradiction of terms there is no nice brown but now what's under the head of my problem i think maybe i have broken that timing belt chain chain okay maybe i broke the timing chain you could have what makes you
Starting point is 00:04:58 think that's all well because i took the car in and i had all change and a tune-up put on it. And the gentleman came back with a bill and he says, but by the way, honey, there's some antifreeze on your third spark plug. And I said, well, which is the third? The third from the front or the third from the back? Third from the back. He says, if I stand at the bumper and I count back to the passenger seat, it'll be the third
Starting point is 00:05:24 back. Oh, that's the second plug. That's on the number two. Okay. It says that that spark plug is being fouled with antifreeze, and that's why when the engine starts up, it runs a little rough. Oh, yeah, it could. But then it burns it off and you run real smooth. Well the next day, I was driving my little sob to work and I kind of like it, so I was
Starting point is 00:05:43 enjoying it. Pulled it into the stall where I was going to park it and as I was letting up under the clutch and reaching down for the key, there was a loud pop and the engine quit instantly. And when I tried to restart it, it wouldn't start. What did it do? The starter made the correct sound but the engine wouldn't start. What did it do? The starter made the correct sound, but the engine wouldn't catch. Okay. But it sounded like it was cranking.
Starting point is 00:06:09 No, it was a very even sound. More like a motor turning. More like that. Right, because you weren't pushing. The pistons were going up and down, but you weren't opening and closing the valves if your timing chain broke. So it would be a different sound that you would have gotten the day before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Yeah. Well, that's a pretty good diagnosis. Alright, so would you like us to tell you about the new Sobs? Oh no. Or how about a nice Volkswagen? Oh no. Or a Subaru. Is it really the timing chain?
Starting point is 00:06:41 Well, it really does sound like the timing chain. Oh no. Oh yeah. I just love my thoughts. I have to say though that I've never, though Joe, I have never heard of a timing chain braking while the engine was idling. Never in my 75 years of life on this planet have I ever heard of a timing chain braking under those circumstances. So it should have broke while I was moving or when it was completely stopped? Well usually they break when you start up or when you know when you put a lot of torque on it like when you're accelerating. Had the engine for a long
Starting point is 00:07:17 time been making a growling noise while it was idle like oh how would she know it's an 81 sob it's making 20 It makes all kind of noises and it smells bad too So does my brother He beat me to it A little like my husband What did you say like your husband? Just a little
Starting point is 00:07:38 Well even though it may be rare I would have to believe that the timing chain broke and you have two problems obviously if you really have antifreeze getting into number two Cylinder then you've got to fix that too, which means you probably need at least a head gasket or maybe a new head Yeah, he suggested I might need a head. Yeah. I mean these two things are not related by the way I mean the the following of the spark plug with the antifreeze Is not what caused you to break the timing chain. I just got lucky So you got two things happening at the same time, but that's all right They'll just take the whole thing apart fix everything and while they're doing it. They'll do a valve job
Starting point is 00:08:16 This whole job will cost you a thousand bucks and you'll have a brand new car. I should put thousand dollars. I feel good Sure, I love that guy. they won't do it for a thousand. No? A thousand is not a good number? Now another problem is I don't have a sob dealer in my town. Where do you have to go? Arkansas? I used to have one but I think they went to Chattanooga. Oh. You'll be relocated. I see relocation in your future Joe. It was pretty hard to tow that Saab to three blocks. Yeah. Yeah. Not only do you have the problem of there are no Saab dealers, but even if there were Saab dealers, they might not have anyone old enough to work on an 81. Is that a hint? No, it isn't a hint. Here's what you do.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Find other people that live in your town that have Saabs. Just hang out in the movie theater parking lot. You know, I did that by mistake the other night. I came out and there was a sob that looked like mine in a slip, two slips down. I put my key in his door and it opened his door. I put my key in his ignition. It started his ignition and I started to back up his car before I realized that... You got a screwdriver? Somebody's eyeglasses were on the shelf and I didn't wear glasses. Joe, your problem is solved.
Starting point is 00:09:27 That's your car. Get that plate number. Take your plate, go there some dark night and just take that car and put your number plate on it. It was an honest mistake, officer. My key started it. My key started it. And I don't know how my license plate got on there.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It's just one of those things. And these must be my husband's glasses. But find out where that person gets his car serviced and maybe you can get your chain and your cylinder head done. But you're going to spend more than a thousand bucks. Get a quote before you have it done. Good luck. Thank you now, guys.
Starting point is 00:09:59 See you, Joe. Bye-bye. The Puzzler Answer and more calls are coming up right after this. This is Sam Brigger, longtime Fresh Air producer and sometime interviewer. In the special extended podcast episode, I talk with Maggie Rogers about nostalgia, her new album, and her decision to go to Harvard Divinity School. I think at its core, music has always been the most sacred and most spiritual thing that I've ever been a part of.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Find NPR's fresh air wherever you get podcasts. In any great story, there's a moment that sparks your curiosity, tells you there is more to uncover. How did this happen? How did we get here? That's where Embedded comes in. We are NPR's home for documentary journalism, immersive and intimate stories.
Starting point is 00:10:48 I was stone cold speechless. Nothing will ever, ever, ever, ever be the same here. Find embedded wherever you get your podcasts. With NPR Plus, there's more to hear, like extended interviews with some of the experts we talk to at Planet Money and The Indicator. It's a mistake for economists to only think about economic efficiency when considering policies because you'll actually wind up with a worse outcome. And with NPR+, you help keep NPR going.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Learn more at plus.npr.org. Do you wish stories could unfold over three hours rather than three minutes? You tired of doomscrolling? Trying to find humanity? Or maybe a deeper understanding of why the world is the way it is? Listen to Embedded, NPR's original documentary series. Find us wherever you get your podcasts. Thomas, it is time to test your powers of retention. Oh, I thought we gave up on this. You were going to just say, okay. No, no, I just wanted to see how many, how long you could stay here before you had to go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Oh yeah. Okay, now I received several different versions of this same puzzler from several different people which means we don't have to give anyone a best of cards on tape do we? Everybody should get one. We got a million of them of them if they can catch us here it is You're driving in your car One fine spring afternoon in your fair city and you see in front of you a car with an interesting license plate I remember this one the license plate has six characters and they are tan 270 or as General Schwarzkopf would say Tango alpha November Or as General Schwarzkopf would say Tango Alpha November
Starting point is 00:12:34 The question simply is what make of car is the license plate attached to and I think this is this is you know This is great puzzle because a succinct Historic not historic Inter it no, no, okay. Well, we'll skip that The hint I gave was high school. That was a lousy hint No, not even Paul Clark. No. No. Okay, well, we'll skip that. The hint I gave was high school. That was a lousy hint. I don't think so. Well, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Well, I couldn't do... I mean, after you know the answer, I guess it's not a lousy hint, but it sure didn't help me. The hint that you gave me that I'm embarrassed to have not jumped right on it was you said it could also have been TAN 90. And even with that, I didn't get it. Only Ken Rogers jumped right on it. When I gave it to Ken, I didn't say TAN, I said TAN.
Starting point is 00:13:22 And he immediately said, oh, tangent of 270. Let me see, what's the tangent of 270? Tangent sine over the cosine. Tangent of 270 is infinity. Yes, it is. And that's the car that the license plate would be attached to. There's a car named infinity?
Starting point is 00:13:38 I didn't know that. So who's our winner? Yeah, let me see here. The winner is Vicky, what? Shavzin. Shavzin. Where's our winner? Yeah, let me see here. The winner is Vicky... What? Shavzin. Shavzin. Where's she from?
Starting point is 00:13:48 We have no idea because she sent us her answer via email. I'll tell you where she's from. She's from execpsc.com, whatever that is. Anyway... It's in Bosnia. No vowels. For being brilliant enough to figure out that answer, all poor Vicky gets is a lousy copy of the Best of Car Talk on CD or cassette.
Starting point is 00:14:08 That's not nice, is it? We should do something better for the winners, shouldn't we? Nah. It costs money. Anyway. Well, anyway, Vicky, when you hear this, send us another email with your address on it, because we don't know how to email the CD. Yeah, if you're going to email a puzzle answer puzzle answer and you got to tell us where you're from
Starting point is 00:14:27 otherwise yeah you don't have to you don't really have to tell us if you want the prize you got to tell us where you're from otherwise we can't send it to you anyway we have a brand new puzzler coming up during the second half does that mean that she entered she entered this contest via the website? Tune out now. Cool! Did I interrupt you? If you want to be sure.
Starting point is 00:14:52 To avoid it. No, no. What did you say? Nothing. If you'd like to call us, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello there, how are you doing? Great.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Great, who's this? This is Steve. Steve, where are you calling from? I'm calling from Lexington car talk. Hello there. How you doing great? Who's this? This is Steve Steve where you're calling from? I'm calling from Lexington, Kentucky. I would have guessed you or southerner. Just I don't know why So, what's up Steve So what's up Steve? I have an 88 LeBaron GTS Turbo. What year 88? Yeah it's a 2.2 liter right and after it gets warmed up mostly during the summer and spring when it gets really hot the thing that starts island below
Starting point is 00:15:38 1000 rpm and it just starts to shake like it's gonna have like some kinda major seizure okay especially on hot days and the fall and winter really doesn't do it when it stays And it just starts to shake like it's gonna have like some kind of major seizure Especially on hot days and the fall and winter really doesn't do it when it stays cool outside I've had a few injectors clean and replaced I've had the timing check to tune up They scraped something along with turbo and the inside of the car saying they were maybe carbon buildup was part of the problem And a few of the things which I can't recall that just cost too much money up was part of the problem. And a few of the things which I can't recall just cost too much money. Help. Help? Help? You say something about like an EGR valve? Am I making that up? No, no, no. No, you're not. No, it's a possibility. Is that something that I would
Starting point is 00:16:15 have on my car? Yeah, you have one. Okay. You have one. It could be faulty or it could be sticking. I mean, the way, what you have, I believe, is a vacuum leak of some kind. A vacuum leak? Yeah, and the vacuum leak could be coming even from the with the way what you have i believe or is a vacuum leak of some kind the vacuum leak yeah and the vacuum leak could be coming even from the e g r valve it would not be sucking in fresh air rather it would probably be sucking in exhaust making the thing run really rough if it's the e g r yeah but the way you have to really long trips the way you describe it though i i don't like the e g r
Starting point is 00:16:42 solution oh i do but i mean i like like a vacuum leak much better. So how would I feel? Well I don't know if they've ever tested for vacuum leaks. I guess it would have been too simple and too inexpensive to do right? No it's yeah they don't even bother with that stuff. It is too simple and the way you would test for it was with a propane enrichment test. We have a little device which which you hook up to a little propane tank and you actually walk this thing around. It's a little tube with a nozzle on it and you walk this thing around various places where there could be a vacuum leak
Starting point is 00:17:13 and you see if the introduction of propane to the outside of the engine makes the engine rev up and run smoothly. So here it is running at 450 rpm, it's rumbling and shuffling and shaking around and you walk around with this little propane wand and all of a sudden you'll find that one spot that will boost the rpm and smooth it out. Because now instead of just sucking in air, it sucks in propane. With air. Which burns. Well I don't have any propane. No but the... I guess I need to find somebody that does. The garage does. You take it to the garage and they should have this little tester Okay, and they're gonna walk this thing around and they're either gonna find a leaky intake manifold gasket
Starting point is 00:17:51 Maybe when the engine gets really hot that the intake manifold is warping a little bit Allowing some extra air to get in there It could be the EGR valve is hanging up and they can certainly take the EGR valve off and plug the port And see if that problem is solved. It would be simple as simple as a PVC valve would it? No, I don't think so. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:10 But it could be. I mean it could be a vacuum leak any place, but it's going to be some place that's really affected by high temperatures. Right. And that's why it's happening in the summer and not happening in the winter. Oh, okay. And you say they replaced all four injectors? Man, they replaced the injectors after they cleaned them a dozen times.
Starting point is 00:18:25 They did, you know, it was all for naught because it still did it after it got hot. I was living out West Texas where it gets like 350 degrees. Which causes a whole other set of problems which I don't think we could discuss on Carfalm. So you moved from West Texas to the Arctic Circle here in Lexington, Kentucky It's not cold enough up here for me Where I've been from originally I moved to Texas with a wife and had a misfortune of leaving her there. Oh Aha Some cowboy right cowboy from West Texas, I think cowboy would be a nicer way of
Starting point is 00:19:10 Just recently got NPR out there and so I'm sure she'll enjoy hearing me on the air Good luck with you LeBaron Steve. Thanks, man What eight hundred so now there's a guy you could drink coffee with. You can just tell from the sound of his voice that you can see him sitting there with... My dear brother, you would drink coffee with Jack the Ripper if he was buying. No, no, this is the kind of guy you could sit there and smoke a big, big cigar about that big. I agree.
Starting point is 00:19:44 And just talk to Steve. I agree, I agree Steve. How could his wife leave him? How could she do that? Because he's busy smoking cigars, drinking coffee all the time, and neglecting her. Is that why all my wives have left me too? You could be combing in on it man.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Oh well. 1-800-332-9287. Tough choice. Isn't it a wife or coffee? Or cigar. Or cigar. Cuban cigar. Well, no, you can't introduce the Cuban cigar because there's no competition. There is no competition. Jennifer's shaking her head saying, Boy, are they in trouble when they get home tonight.
Starting point is 00:20:18 For the second week in a row. What did you say last week? It wasn't I. Oh, yes, you did mention, I think, some people are going to be like, Tonight! For the second week in a row! What did you say last week? It wasn't I! You did mention I think something about life ending when you get married. I'm not sure, but it was something like that. I didn't say that, did I?
Starting point is 00:20:36 No, not in general. You said life ended for me when I got married. Is that why Joanna's been a little cool this week? I! Alright, then the kids came along and then it was... yeah. It's been a little cool this week. Ah! Yeah. All right. Then the kids came along and then it was, yeah. The kids have been kind of cool all week too. Yeah. Forget them. Don't go anywhere.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Stick around for more calls on the new puzzler coming right up. The Embedded Podcast brings you eye-opening reporting. There's something that hasn't been disclosed yet. Immersive journalism. I could smell the smoke. I could smell the dust. Personal stories. I was scared. Like I can't protect you.
Starting point is 00:21:20 We are NPR's home for documentary storytelling. Find Embedded wherever you get your podcasts. Bridgerton is back and the Netflix series is as gossipy and over-the-top as ever. I love the dialogue as ridiculous as it is sometimes. Same. It's so ridiculous. We're talking about the romance and the clothes and the nudity and obviously the Queen's hair. Listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Humans are kind of overrated. Over on Shortwave, a science podcast, we're only kind of kidding. We're bringing you the wondrous world of animal science to your daily life. From queer animal love stories to songbird memories, we're showing you how critter knowledge informs human science. Listen now to Shortwave, a podcast from NPR. Wait, wait, don't tell me it isn't just jokes
Starting point is 00:22:15 about the week's news, it's also life hacks. For example, here's actor Karen Allen revealing how she got her starring role in Raiders of the Lost Ark. They said, how well can you spit? And I just found, coming out of my mouth, I said, oh, I can hawk them with the best. I'm Peter Segal.
Starting point is 00:22:32 If you want to increase your self-confidence, then listen to the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me podcast from NPR. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and what was that topic? A cry for help. A cry for help. A cry for help. Okay. This comes from Gregory Engel.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I've listened to your show for a while now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, can I see that for a second? Rather lengthy, isn't it? It is lengthy, but it's important. All right, I mean, it may be lengthy, but it's also stupid. Okay. I've listened to your show for a while now.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I must, I'll read fast. I must say I was a lot like you guys, carefree, I blabbed a lot. This was before my life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense both of you are on the verge of taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been thrown. It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then just to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
Starting point is 00:23:57 I began to think alone, to relax, I told myself, but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office, dizzy and confused, asking, what is it exactly we are doing here? Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as
Starting point is 00:24:35 a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me and he said, Greg I like you and it hurts me to say this but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job you'll have to find another job. This gave me a lot to think about. I came home really after my conversation with the boss. Honey, I confessed, I've been thinking. I know you've been thinking, she said, and I want a divorce. But honey, surely it's not that serious. It is serious, she said, her lower lip a quiver. You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money So if you keep on thinking we won't have any money. Ah, that's a faulty syllogism
Starting point is 00:25:11 I said impatiently and she began to cry I'd had enough. I'm going to the library. I snarled and I stomped out of the door I headed for the library in the mood for some Nietzsche with NPR on the radio I wrote into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a higher power was looking out for me that night. Page two. What are you, Paul Harvey? As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra. A poster caught my eye. Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life? It asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes
Starting point is 00:25:52 from the standard thinker's anonymous poster, which is why I am what I am today, a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting, we watch a non-educational video. Last week it was Porky's. Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life just seems easier somehow as soon as I stop thinking. An integral part of my recovery has been your show. I regret however that your show has occasionally caused me to have a thought. Sometimes even two. I have found myself wanting to ask my car mechanic to ask him questions, yes questions, a sure sign of the presence of a deep process of thinking. Yes.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I have work to do. I regret that unless you turn from your direction toward answering call's questions in meaningful ways, I will be forced to discontinue my participation in your until recently completely mediocre show. I hope I have helped. Good luck. Wow. Greg.
Starting point is 00:26:58 All right. Well, there'll be a lot of response to that little memo. Yes, there will be. Wow. Greg. All right, well there'll be a lot of response to that little memo. Yes, there will be All right power the power of words. Are you ready for the semi quasi almost automotive? You said academia academic I did say that academia from the halls of academia halls of the halls of academia To the shores of Tripoli. Oh, God. This is interesting. Who did I steal this from? A number of syllables worked right in there, didn't they? I stole this from a Jacef, I guess I…
Starting point is 00:27:32 Jacef? I stole this from Joseph, I don't know if I should say his last name, R-A-Y-L-E, Rayleigh, we'll call him, Joseph Rayleigh, from Durham, North Carolina. Yeah. He says, this is a story I heard some time ago, that you morons would like it, et cetera, et cetera. Two undergraduate chemistry students at a major university had had a highly successful semester in an introductory chemistry class that they were taking.
Starting point is 00:27:58 So their confidence is high, so high in fact, that they decide to blow off the reading period, that period they give you to study for final exams. And they go to a fraternity party in a town quite a distance away and they have a pretty good time. In fact, so good a time I guess they probably got a little drunk and met some girls, who knows what they did. That they don't make it back. Probably did some thinking there too.
Starting point is 00:28:20 In time for their final exam. They missed the exam. In a panic they devise however a plan. They agree to tell the professor that they had a flat tire and this prevented their returning on time to take the exam. They plead with them, oh let us take the exam, we'll be ruined if we don't take it. This will never happen again. Don't worry. The professor agrees and tells them to return the next morning. The two return the worry." And the professor agrees and tells them to return the next morning. The two return the following morning and the professor gives them their exams. But he decides
Starting point is 00:28:50 he doesn't want to hang around. He has them leave their backpacks and the books in the office and sends them to different rooms to take the exam. The test consists of one five-point question, some malarity problem, you know, and smiling confidently each answers the question, then turns the page and the next question is the 95-point question and the question is, what is the question? Oh, our question will be what is the question on page 2. The question that the professor put on the makeup final exam. That's good. I think this is good. Why? Yeah, I think it's... I mean, the best questions, the best puzzlers,
Starting point is 00:29:29 are the ones in which you can't even believe what the question is. Knock your socks off. If you think you know the answer or you have time to kill at work or you feel like just taking a guess, either email it to us by visiting CarTalk.com on the web or slap a stamp on your answer and send it to us by visiting cartalk.com on the web or slap a stamp on your answer and send it to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Cambridge, our fancy, 02238.
Starting point is 00:29:56 By the way, if you just want to hear the Puzzler or read it again, it's also posted every week at cartalk.com for your browsing convenience. Anyway, if we choose your correct answer at random and you catch us. I like that browsing convenience. Yes, for your browsing convenience. We'll send you a copy of the best of Car Talk which could be just the thing you need to fix that wobbling table in the kitchen. If you'd like to call us, our number is 1-800-332-9287.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Beth from Somerville. Beth, Somerville what? New Jersey? Somerville, Mass. No kidding. B, Somerville. But what's on your mind? Is it Somervillean or is it just a generic question? Well, it's sort of along the lines of does life end when you get married?
Starting point is 00:30:38 Oh, we can discuss that, yeah. But the cigar thing, that can. That can? That can end life and or marriage. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah. Anyway, the question is in reference to a 91 Honda Civic and a husband. Oh.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Who doesn't smoke cigars. No. Yeah. Okay. But one has to make his choices in life, you know. It's true. There's nothing like a Cuban cigar. I believe Locke Twain said, a woman is only a woman.
Starting point is 00:31:03 It was Gertha. Oh, it was Gertha. Oh, it wasn't Gertha. Oh, Nietzsche might have said it. A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. Who said that? Rudyard Kipling. Anyway, Beth, 91 Honda Civic. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:31:16 91 Honda Civic, and this is actually a case of a serious marital discord. And I need to know two things from you all can you are the supreme court court card is being on the escort and i need to know first who is right and then second how much extra where does the wrong person actually put on a clutch by doing the wrong thing okay well we already know the answers of the question what you're right all right you have that authority and you have a lot of work that would okay however i have agreed
Starting point is 00:31:44 not to bring the subject up until you have made the termination of exactly who's right all right all so what's the question i love them all position the question was i was taught that the correct way to shift from first to second year from a complete stop is it all where from a complete seat on from a complete dot
Starting point is 00:32:03 what you're at a complete stop at a complete the way you shifting from first to second if you're a complete you don't from a complete stop What you're at a complete stop at a complete? Why are you shifting from first to second if you're in a complete? You have to go again at some point, but if it's a dead stop you're shifting into first. Yes, that's correct Okay, okay, tell you tell us what you do. Okay, so you're at a complete stop. Yeah, you're waiting at stop sign Where are your feet? Where are your feet? Your feet are not on the clutch? Good one of them's on the break and the other one is out the window. Yes. Got it. When it's time to go, you depress the clutch and engage first gear. Yes. As soon as the car is in first gear, you take your foot off the clutch and drive until the engine reaches about 3,000 RPM, something around there. In
Starting point is 00:32:40 Honda Civic, where you don't have a tachometer, tachometer, bleh, it's about 15 miles an hour. Okay. When the car sounds like it's ready to go into second gear, it's kind of thinking, okay, I really need to go into second gear now. Then you depress the clutch and shift to second gear. Okay, now give us alternative B. This is alternative B. No, wait, this is, okay.
Starting point is 00:32:58 That was A. That was A. This is your position. Well, we don't want to know whose position it is. Well, she did it so author authoritatively it has to be here i'm gonna be tough to beat up on you that well that would be the alternative version which may or may not be acceptable
Starting point is 00:33:14 yet obviously there are only two choices and and and uh... the alternative version is from your losing husband he had a lot to get yeah okay when it's time to go you depressed the clutch and shift into first gear keeping the clutch partially depressed until the car reaches five to ten miles an hour
Starting point is 00:33:33 who gave him a second year that i believe that they will be horrible and known as slipping the clutch they'll cause excessive wear and result inexpensive repair repair jobs. You're wrong about one thing. I am wrong. So riding the clutch. And it causes one to wear out a clutch in about I'd say 12,560 miles. Okay. Now we count on this for our livelihood, I'll have you know. So we're at a little bit, we have a little bit of a vested interest in divulging the truth of the air. There was a moral dilemma.
Starting point is 00:34:12 It certainly is, it's like the lawyer, when the client gave him a hundred bucks and the client left and he noticed that there were two hundred dollar bills stuck together, at which point he was faced with a moral dilemma. Should he tell his partner? So we got the same kind of moral dilemma. Oh, okay. Well, no, but we obviously have to side with you, Beth. I mean, your method is 100% correct. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Thank you. His is 30% correct. Oh, no, his is 100% wrong. Well, no, he was correct in that he has his foot off the clutch. I mean, there were some points which were correct. Oh no, his is 100% wrong. Well, 100% wrong. He was correct in that he has his foot off the clutch. I mean there were some points which were correct. Off the clutch at the stop sign. He does put his foot on the clutch while he's waiting at the stop sign most of the time. So he's not a hundred percent wrong. But in that area where he's allowing the slippage to take place. Oof. That's bad. This is a... That is about the worst thing you can do, and many, many people do this. Yes, I know.
Starting point is 00:35:06 They don't take their foot completely off. You want to have your foot off the clutch all the time, if possible. Yeah. Because when your foot is off the clutch, the clutch is not wearing out. Exactly. The clutch wears out when it's halfway down. Right. And the last thing you want to do is be driving the car with the clutch halfway down.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Boy, oh boy. No, what does it do? This was the other thing, because I could not explain exactly what it was doing to the clutch other than it was bad. The way the clutch makes the car move is it relies entirely on friction between three pieces. One is called the driven disc or the clutch disc and the other two which sandwich that in between them are the clutch cover and the flywheel. And when you engage the clutch it must slip by definition because one of those pieces that is the driven disc is only moving when the car is moving.
Starting point is 00:35:54 And the other two are moving all the time the engine is running so the clutch must slip somewhat to engage otherwise it would be very abrupt and the car would stall like it did when you first learned to drive and you have that control with your left leg. Right. And that's why you let the clutch out slowly because you need to slip a little bit but you want to minimize that amount of slippage. So if you don't let the... once you reach the engagement point and the car starts to move, if you don't get your foot off the clutch pedal completely, you allow that slippage to continue and that wears out the clutch disc or the driven disc because that piece is made out of asbestos or some other friction like high temperature tolerant material and the other pieces are made out of steel. So that piece is designed to wear out so we can make our boat payments and by not getting
Starting point is 00:36:42 your foot off the clutch as quickly as possible, you allow that slippage to take place to the extent that it can wear that thing out prematurely. In fact, if you wanted to wear out a clutch, the way you would do it is you would just leave your foot halfway down on the clutch pedal and drive around for a couple of days. I know that this happens because I loaned my car once to a person who didn't know how to drive a car with a clutch. And in a matter of a few hundred miles, she completely destroyed the clutch doing exactly this. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:37:12 And he divorced her after that. She was not one of my wives. No, that was not one of my wives. Well, okay, so I should definitely... So you're 100% right, but before you go, how are you going to handle this, Beth? I mean, are you going to go, na-na, na, na, na, to your poor husband? Certainly not. This is ammunition.
Starting point is 00:37:27 This is probably good for at least three or four years. I can use this one for a long time. You're going to dull this out in little doses. Yeah, little bits. Remember when, you know, that one. Oh, so you're going to keep bringing this up. Yeah, because I have it on tape, too. This is going to be like a boil on his neck, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:37:42 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha? I got it. So every time a disagreement occurs, you're gonna say well remember the thing about the clutch Now that's the difference between men and women. Yeah, I think so. I mean this is gonna get me in trouble Man the approach that most men would take would be to just have a clean breast of it. Just come right out, have an argument or discussion or whatever it takes, clear the air, and that's the last you would ever hear of it. Women on the other hand tend to nag. Oh, that's a bad... Nag is not the word. Remind one.
Starting point is 00:38:26 If you want any advice on sleeping in the garage... Yeah. I can give you lots of advice on how to get comfortable in a garage. What do you do about the mosquitoes this time of year? Oh, you're in trouble. You have any sift with all the candles I can borrow? Yeah. Yeah, well, okay, Beth.
Starting point is 00:38:44 I know you'll handle it well. We cut this part out of the show. It'll work out. Not for me it won't. See you, Beth. Thanks for calling. Bye. Bye. Well, you've squandered another hour of your precious youth listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Berman. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our engineering assistant producer is Jennifer Travel and Leisure Loeb. Our technical advisor is John Bugsy, Sebastian, Mr. Height, Sweetcheeks, Free Lunch, Twinkle Toes. Hoola Hips, Donut Breath, 2 Gigabytes, Make That 3 Triple Cheeseburgers, Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marge Inovera. Our automotive medical researcher is Dr. Denton Fender.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Our literary critics are Ernest and Julio Hemingway. Our staff filmmaker is Bertha Venation. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our director of gender studies is Amanda B. Reckonwith. Our staff grief counselor is Ariel Bummerman. Ariel Bummerman, you know, you've been working on that for weeks. Our director of pedestrian operations is Carlos Castaneda. The designer of our casual clothing line is No Tai Wu.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I think he's been working with Bob Dole. The curator of Tom's car collection is Rex Galore. Our staff urologist is Willa Catherner. Our director of country music is Stan Byerman. The chairman of our under-employment study group is Art Majors. Our conservative political commentator is Eileen Tudor-Wright. Eileen Tudor-Wright.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Eileen Tudor-Wright. All right, good, we got some good folks here. The director of the Car Talk Psychic Network is LaToyota Jackson. Our fleet manager is Oscar DeLaurento. Our staff marriage counselor is Marion Hays. And the chairman of our Joint Chiefs of Staff Is John shall I pop a wheelie?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and how is you Louis Dewey known in the bistros of Harvard's wear is you? We Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're clicking clack the tappet brothers and don't drive like my brother I like my brother either. I'll be back next week. Bye-bye. If you want a cassette copy of this week's show, which is number 22, you can order it electronically on the World Wide Web through the shameless commerce division of Cartock.com or the old fashioned way by calling 303-823-8000. We'll see you next week. Number 22 you can order it electronically on the World Wide Web through the Shameless Commerce Division of Cartalk.com or the old-fashioned way by calling 303-823-8000. You can also order the best of Cartalk the same way, click on the Shameless Commerce Division at Cartalk.com or call 303-823-8000. Cartalk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Beavis and Butt-Head find it too sophomoric
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