The Best of Car Talk - #2446: John and His Dipstick

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

John's dipstick keeps popping out and it's kind of embarrassing. Will Click and Clack tell him that it happens to a lot of guys, or do they have a serious automotive diagnosis to offer? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Last year, over 20,000 people joined the Body Electric study to change their sedentary screen-filled lives. And guess what? We saw amazing effects! Now you can try NPR's Body Electric Challenge yourself. Listen to updated and new episodes wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the Do It To Yourself division here at Car Talk Plaza. Well, you know, summer has finally arrived.

Spring never really showed up here in New England, did it? We don't ever get spring. Boom, just all of a sudden it's summer. But anyway, that means that many of you will be taking your annual stab at doing it yourself. That is repairing something on your car. Now, maybe you need to change the plugs or replace a belt,

or if you drive a real beast like my brother, you'll be taking a hammer and chisel to that pile of crud that's built up on the floor of your trunk. Floor, it's on the front seat. In any case, those are all pretty minor repairs, but why not challenge yourself this year by attempting something more ambitious and really doing it to yourself.

How about attempting like a clutch replacement? Well, I can tell you from personal experience that there's nothing quite like that moment when you realize that a 200 pound hunk of steel is slipping through your fingers and heading right for your noggin as you're lying on that creeper. Now that's doing it to yourself.

It really is. I can remember the very time that it happened to me, and that was the beginning of the end. It was. Yeah. It was indeed the beginning. By the way, I should mention the reason- Does it say FOMOCO on my head? I think so.

I should mention that we don't get enough calls from people out in their driveways Screwing up their own cars. We used to in the old days We would get calls just exactly like that some guy would call and say hey I got my transmission out and it's on my driveway And I'm trying to figure out something and we would tell them exactly what to do right down to the size of the wrench That he should maybe they don't call because what we know No, it was wrong Anyway speaking of things that you shouldn't do yeah, you plan on reading any mail or can we just hit the phone?

Oh, have I got mail? Okay, go for it a lady went named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws and while she was there She went to a store She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it. Her eyes were closed and her hands were behind her head, apparently sleeping. She was apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head, but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said, are you okay? The woman said, I've been shot in the head and I'm holding my brains in. That'll shock you, won't it?

Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store where store officials call the paramedics. When they opened the car, they found the woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car,

making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and it hit her in the back of the head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains leaking out. She passed out from fright, and then attempted to hold in her brains That could scare the living daylights out of you. It sure could it's your boom you reach back and you feel this gooey mass What else can you imagine?

Well, if it were your case, you wouldn't have to worry about your brain If you'd like to call us with a question about your car our phone number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello you're on Car Talk. Hi fellas, this is Wendy and I'm calling from Lakewood, Ohio. Hi Wendy. Hi. I have a question. I'm not sure if I should be more worried about my car or the mental health of my mechanic.

Having some problems with my 1990 VW Golf. There are a few that worry about our mental health, I should add. Well, I'm very worried because I'm a mental health professional. Aha. So I'm very concerned about this gentleman. Sensitive to these important issues. He's been a good guy so far.

So far. But you're worried about him. I'm very worried about him, I think. You're worried that you're driving him to the nut house. I think I am, well I think my car is because he's consulting a Ouija board. This is getting a little weird. You got a problem with that?

Yeah. Well, there are all kinds of diagnostic tools and that consulting a week even word getting here problem with that uh... all kinds of diagnostic tools and that is one that is in fact sanctioned by the society of automotive engineers well there you go i guess it shouldn't be worried about that i'll read about my car now i'm not sure what's going on with that i've taken it to him a couple of times and he did is clueless he does not know what's wrong with this car what it's doing is when i make sharp turns to the right hand side

it makes two different sounds depending on where you are in relation to the car if you're sitting in the driver's seat you're making the sharp turn it sounds like a little old guy get out of a recliner it's like this groaning sound that's coming right out of the steering column the only way that this happens at at very low speeds or all speeds? All speeds and I don't even have to have a car on. I can be sitting parked and turning the steering wheel sharply to the right and it will make

this sound. You mean like, rrrrr? No more like, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Like that this happens as you're turning the wheel but stops when you stop turning the wheel Yes, good. Okay, okay But if you're on the outside of the car and someone's inside turning the steering wheel to the right you've got the hood popped It sounds like somebody's tuning up a banjo And that I can't make that sound real well I didn't know they tuned banjos actually. No they don't tune banjos.

Well I lived in Florida, you know they do that kind of stuff sometimes when I get bored. I can't make exactly the sound but it's sort of like a ting ding ding ding ding ding ding like that. And you don't hear either one in the other place? No. Now here's what it sounds like to me, I mean, the sound of the noise and the whole syndrome Okay. Sounds to me like a spring. Okay.

Well, I'm going to suggest that what's wrong is at the top of each of your struts, there is actually a bearing. Yes, there is. The struts are attached to the steering knuckle at the bottom, and at the top they're attached to the, actually, the fenders. Right. And under it is a bearing plate. It's a brown plate with a bearing in it. And the bearing allows this thing to rotate left and right as you turn the wheel left and right.

Right. Okay. And it also supports the upper part of the spring, which is the part of the McPherson strut. Oh, okay. And I'm going to suggest that you have never replaced these struts in all six years that you've owned this car. I've only had it for a year and a half. Ah, that would make sense because the first person didn't do it. And I know that it's getting a little bouncy. Well, I think that the problem is not the struts, rather it's these strut cushions, these little covers on the top which house the bearings. Okay. And that could easily make the noise, but he ought to be, if it'll do it standing still. Okay. I mean easily make the noise but he ought to be if it'll do it standing still okay It does not take rocket science. He just stick his ear next to the thing and he'll hear it. Okay

So let's discuss the mental health. I'm sure that it's something in the strut It's either the strut itself or the spring or the bearing but and he hasn't replaced anything yet. No He told me he said what noise I don't hear any noise. And I said, we call that avoidance in my life work. Yes, we are practiced in avoidance. But it's not really avoidance, you know? So then he told me that that noise was normal. And I said, why don't we think so? It doesn't sound real good.

What, the noise that he can't hear? Yeah. After I told him, I yelled at him and told him, go back out there and drive it around a little while. You'll hear it. He has no interest in solving this problem. He's done a great job so far. Well, there always comes that point, and I can speak from personal experience, where you lose interest in the chase. Okay. It's depression.

I think you're right to worry about his mental health because the man is severely depressed to the point where he simply can't cope, doesn't even want to face anything, doesn't want to know anything, doesn't want to do anything. I have to, I mean. Well, right, I'll tell you what would encourage him. What's that? A carrot cake. Oh, a carrot cake. I'd make a great carrot cake.

Well, if you do, yeah. Yeah, that'll do it. We always do our best work for customers that come bearing carrot cakes. That's a great tip. Thank you. And best work for customers that come bearing carrot cakes. That's a great tip, thank you. And Chinese food is good. Chinese food is better. Chinese food is better.

If he solves the problem, Chinese food. Good luck, Wendy. Thank you. You're on the road to recovery. See you later. Terrific, thanks, bye. 1-800-332-9287, hello, you're on Carrot Talk. Hi, this is Carly calling from Beena, Minnesota.

Beena? Beena, Minnesota? Well I'm calling from Beena, I'm from Florida. Oh you're from Florida but you are at exile in Beena. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So what's up Carly? Um I was just given a car, well a truck five weeks ago. Yeah a 91 Toyota four-wheel drive. Actually, I traded it with my stepmom. This is a pickup truck? Yeah, it's a pickup truck. And as soon as I got in it, I noticed this awful squealing noise. It was really, really loud, and I had to drive from Florida to Minnesota the next day. Your mother didn't mention this horrible noise when she gave it to you.

Yeah, it was my stepmom, but no, no. Oh, the evil step no evil stepmother yeah no but it was a very good trait I like it yeah okay and so I went to all different places to ask him what was wrong and I was told it was his speedometer cable it was speedometer head and then I went to the speedometer guy and he couldn't find anything wrong with it when he put it on the wheel rack uh-huh the thing that made it look like it was going 100 miles per hour in one place. Couldn't find anything wrong with it. Oh, so this noise at some point does subside. Um, no.

But he heard the noise? No, he didn't hear the noise at all. Oh, so it had subsided. Were you there when he did this? Yeah, yeah. And it wasn't making the noise? I wasn't inside the car, I couldn't tell. But. And it wasn't making the noise? I wasn't inside the car, I couldn't tell. But he said it wasn't making the noise. Is the noise a eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee e That's good. That's even better than my stab at it. Yeah, she was much better at it. It does sound like a bad speedo cable or a bad speedometer head to me.

Why would the guy not have realized that? He may not have done it when you were there. Okay. But it always does it when you're in the car. Did he try to lube the cable? No, he didn't. He should have. I mean, he had it right there. He could have just shot some lubricant up the sheathing.

I wish he would have. Yeah, well, you can go just shot some lubricant up the sheathing. I wish he would have. Yeah, well, you can go back and have either the cable replaced, I suspect it's the cable, or a much cheaper alternative is to have a shot of lubricant put in the thing, which is not a permanent fix, I might add. It may work for a little while, but it's not going to work forever. There's no substitute for a new cable, but it's cheaper than a new cable. Okay. The speedometer doesn't hop or anything does it? Yeah it does. It does. Oh you need a cable. You need a cable. It's a cable? Yeah. That's much better than a headset. Go to the Toyota dealer and have them install a new cable. Okay. It's cheap. Costs you a

hundred bucks. A hundred bucks. Alright we'll go for $80. We've got a special today. $65. See you, Carly. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. We'll be right back with the answer to the puzzler after these messages. All that sitting and swiping, your body is adapting to your technology.

Learn how and what you can do about it. I really felt like the cloud in my brain dissipated. Once I started realizing what a difference these little breaks were making, there's no turning back for me. Take NPR's Body Electric Challenge. Listen to the series wherever you get your podcasts. On this week's episode of Wildcard, comedian Bowen Yang says you don't have to feel bad for falling short on mindfulness.

I get in my own way by like over-privileging the present. That's so interesting because everyone wants to be in the present. I feel like being present is overrated. I'm Rachel Martin. Join us for NPR's Wild Card Podcast, the game where cards control the conversation. I'm Rachel Martin. Join us for NPR's Wild Card Podcast, the game where cards control the conversation. I'm Rachel Martin. After hosting Morning Edition for years, I know that the news can wear you down. So we made a new podcast called Wild Card, where a special deck of cards and

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by tackling tough social and environmental problems. More information is at waltonfamilyfoundation.org. Okay, look, it's time to answer last week's puzzler, which the staff found to be incredibly lame. But I didn't think it was incredibly lame. I just thought it was kind of quasi lame. Now, we were just discussing last week's puzzler, and I forgot already, from the green room to here.

I'll give you a hint. Paul, I need you to go to Bakersfield. No, don't remember. Perry Mason. Everyone remembers Paul Drake from the Perry Mason show. He ran the Paul Drake Detective Agency. Yeah. Of which he was the only member, by the way. Well, he was.

He was president, recording secretary, and whatever. Anyway, many years ago, he was the president's reporting secretary and whatever. Anyway, many years ago he had to hire a new assistant. Oh, that one! He brings three candidates into his office and he decides to interview them by way of a little quiz. He says, look guys, there's a crime that needs to be solved and there's a clue in one of the public libraries in where else, Bakersfield. The clue is stuck between pages 165 and 166 in a book about cars written by two Moronic brothers. Two of the candidates jump up and bolt out the door. The third guy doesn't move. He just sits there he's asleep Drake says you got the job baby

the question is why did he get the job what did he know that the other ding-a-lings didn't know sure there's no public library in Bakersfield yeah they knew that he knew that yeah no I mean it's it's it's probably everyone knows this I suppose but not many people think about it. There is nothing between pages 165 and 166, just as there's nothing between pages 1 and 2 of your book. Of course not.

Page 1 is the right-hand page. The rectal page, as we call it in the publishing business. And page 2 is printed on the back of that page. That's the something else page. I don't know, it's called the next page. The next page. And therefore, 165. Versa, the Versa page.

Or the Litho page, I don't know. What do I know about that? What are you, who's our winner? The winner is Randy Black from Jackson, Missouri. And Randy is Puzzler Winner number 25 this year. No kidding. The 25th person to win the Puzzler. And as such, he will receive the same worthless pile of junk that we sent to the other 24

Puzzler Winners. Here's what you get. A Best of Car Talk CD number one number one a high quality Chrome cassette with a copy of this very show on it. That's B So he can hear his own name being mentioned wrong and free C D an Official suitable for framing apology from us for dragging your good name to the

mud here on National Public Radio. Congratulations, Randy Black. Randy Black from Jackson, Missouri. That's it, man. Well, look, we'll be making a sincere attempt at puzzler redemption. Well, not this week, actually. Maybe next week. Oh.

This week's puzzler is pretty lame too, but it has a purpose. We'll be making that, we'll be stating that new puzzler during the second half of the day show. And its purpose? No. Yes, no, it has a purpose, yeah, you'll see. So stick around, if you'd like to call us with a question about your car, our number is 1-800-332-9287.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Michael Rothman from Oak Park. Hey Mike, can we call you mike yet you can't all park illinois yet so what's your quest at the problem or question concerning the spark plugs from my nineteen ninety lumina uh... the car has sixty eight thousand miles on it and uh... i decided it was time to change the spark plug and spark plug wires

and when the local shop pulled them out and gave me the plugs i noticed that the central ceramic insulator the part that's in the engine that was broken it notes tinted green green cool them a green

tool them are the light tan gray and Two of them are somewhere in between yeah, we call that textbook tan Right the textbook tan is the is the color that they always show you in the book right that that center electrode is supposed to be And any other color is means the end of the world So you have two you have two greens yeah the, the greens kind of look like a grass stain. You got two greens and two tans and what are the rest? Two sort of in between. Well, I'll tell you, all those textbook photos of spark plugs and the various stages of spark

plug wear and degradation have to be changed because they've changed the composition of gas so much in the last ten years. You know I have already discussed this very answer with myself and wondered... It was not an intellectual discussion. It was not. But the reason I didn't present it is I wondered and I'm wondering now I wondered how I was presented, is I wondered, and I'm wondering now, I wondered how I was going to, and now I'm wondering how you are going to, explain that if the same gasoline is in the tank, why does it turn two plugs green and two plugs tan? Well, and I know that you have an answer,

because I know that you're quicker than me. I mean, you're much quicker. And while I was struggling with that, you knew that you didn't know the answer either, but by the time you got to that point, you'd have thought of something. I'm going to suggest that the two plugs that are green have something in common, other than the fact that they're both part of the same engine. You're going to tell them where those plugs came from. Which cylinders, is that it? Well, I'm going to suggest they came from which cylinders that if one of the suggested came from some of the status the symmetrically located i e

the two back cylinders or the two middle cylinders are some such thing because of the the various amounts of cooling other take place in the combustion chambers who still have a little bit position of the cylinders know you could do a block okay so it's not coolant leaking into the filter all i had thought of that haha Okay, so it's not coolant leaking into the cylinders. Oh, I hadn't thought of that No, I read it. No, I read it. I read it. I read it doubt that yeah, so do I I read it doubt that and Although anything's possible

However, if you had coolant leaking into the cylinders you would be getting number one You'd be noticing a loss of coolant from the radiator which I don't have you don't have any noticing smoke coming out. Voluminous clouds. No, and you don't have that either. Why did you ask to see the plugs? I mean I always ask to see the plugs because I'm concerned about how the engines operating. Excellent I think that's good that's good and we hold on to them so he can't put them back in claim that he gave you a them to us. Well, for that matter, how do you know that these are your plugs? He's probably got the same set that he shows to everybody. Well, these look like the original ACs from the car.

I bought the car when I was two years old and never changed the plugs. So these plugs have been in there for 68,000 miles in all likelihood. Right. Yeah, no, it sounds like the thing is running great to me. That's what I would say. And I like my brother's theory that the degree of cooling...

No, no, don't start waffling now. Either you're a Whitmy or you're a Gimmi, man. I mean, it's true that various things can happen depending on where the cylinder is in relation to everything else So I would I would think that whatever the reason whether my brother's theory is correct or not that yeah They're fine. Forget it the question I had was you know with the computer controls on these cars now I almost think they can run on two cylinders and you wouldn't know it Because the computer would just adjust every fit timing and everything else to make the car run. No.

No, you'd know it. Not quite. You'd know it. I mean you'd notice a loss of power. And it wouldn't idle really smoothly. No, I mean it doesn't idle smoothly even with the six cylinders running. You probably noticed that. Yes. I have yet to figure out, I don't mean this in a bad way, nor do I mean anything bad by

it. Uh oh, here it comes. But you start a six-cylinder Nissan or an Acura or a Lexus or I mean you name... An Infiniti, a Toyota. You name the car, a Toyota Camry, they run as smooth as silk. You don't even know the engine is running. On the other hand, most General Motors six-cylinder engines, and I don't want to apologize in advance. And my brother is sorry and he shouldn't have said that, and Andrei Khodresky apologizes

too. This is merely an observation. It's not meant as an indictment or any kind of a criticism really. It is merely an observation and I merely mean to say that V6 General Motors engines run lousy. They shake and there's many a time that we get them in the shop for a tune up or whatever and you think the thing is running on five cylinders because it runs so badly at idle and the question is From an intellectual standpoint why can Nissan and and and Honda and Toyota make a six cylinder that runs so well and General Motors makes them run so lousy. That's it. I found someone has the answer to that Is it at the puzzler tower?

I'm sure that we'll get an answer to that from someone. And I think I know who it's going to be. Mike, doesn't yours run rough at idle when you sit there in park? Yeah, it's relatively smooth. It seems to run a little rough on acceleration. I'm just talking about sitting at it. If you're stopped and you're in park and the engine is running. I really can't tell it's running or not.

It's relatively smooth at that r p m and i slipped in the drug uh... the mechanic also said that when they when he pulled up the spark plug wires he noticed that pool of them have been reversed you know you know it i doubt it's not impossible okay he's had something about them like

Opposite cylinders are on the same. Well actually you could you could reverse two of them because This thing has a distributed list ignition, right? So you can actually swap the wires around and it wouldn't make any difference because it's sending a spark to both of those cylinders Okay Anyway, don't worry about the plugs. I won't. And enjoy your Lumina. Thank you. A pleasure, Mike. See you later. Bye-bye. Right after these messages, you'll hear more calls and a new puzzler coming right up. How does the brain process memories? Why is AI a solution and a problem for our climate? What is leadership in 2025 and beyond?

The TED Radio Hour explores the biggest questions and the most complicated ideas of our time with the world's greatest thinkers. Listen now to the TED Radio Hour from NPR. On the TED Radio Hour, linguist Anne Curzan says she gets a lot of complaints about people using the pronoun they to refer to one person. I sometimes get into arguments with people where they will say to me, but it can't be singular and I will say, but it is. The history behind words causing a lot of debate. That's on the TED Radio Hour from NPR. Climate change can feel scary. But shortwave is all about empowering you with knowledge.

We find hope in the ways people and governments are innovating and searching for solutions. And all the ways that different organisms are fighting to adapt to that climate future too. Listen now to the shortwave podcast from NPR. Prime Minister Narendra Modi is the most powerful man in Indian politics, but big questions remain about how he's held onto power. India is really in danger now. All the democratic structures have been compromised. Cyber hacking, mass arrests, and what it means for India's democracy

on the latest episode of the Sunday Story from NPR's Up First podcast. Hi, we're back listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and re-education. I should mention before my brother reads this that I was throwing an old desk away, and you know, as you will do when you're throwing an old desk away. You're always looking the drawers. Well you pull out the drawers because you want to move it without the drawers in it. It's lighter and there's a smaller chance that one will fall on your foot. Right and this letter fell out? In the back. Was this letter that had obviously been there for a while but here it is. Here it is. I am an American expatriate and was living in

Batu in a Mongolia, People's Republic of China. I was the manager of a USA-UK-China joint venture, which builds off-highway trucks, and lived here for seven years. Although life here was reasonably comfortable, I was not fulfilled. Aha. And was to some degree bored. Then about a year ago, my son Biff, who lives in Stafford, Virginia, mailed me ten audio tapes of your weekly radio program. As I started to listen to them, my entire outlook on life and my morale as well as attitude

began to change. For the better, I should add. I looked forward to waking up in the morning and after turning off the alarm, playing one of your tapes while I washed and dressed, after a hard day's work, the first thing I would do after walking into my foreign house would be to turn on one of your tapes. Well, one day one of my Chinese friends came over while your tape was playing and he became captivated and thrilled by the tape. This is somewhat unusual because he doesn't speak or understand a word of English. To his advantage, I might add. Well, sir, he must have told all of his friends because

two days later about a dozen Chinese arrived at my house and demanded that I play your tapes. The word spread that Lao Kei, that is my name in Chinese, has tapes of Ka-Tok, which they pronounce Ka-Tok. More and more people came to visit me night and day and weekends just to hear your tapes. Well the Chinese partner in our joint venture is a very large company which employs 28,000 people and they're so large they have their own radio and TV stations and they also have loudspeakers to provide news coverage to the employees as they're riding their

bicycles to work in the morning and after lunch. Well sir, about three months ago one of your tapes got played on the loudspeaker system. Another one got played on the radio station that night. The whole town suddenly changed. Many of the men listening to your tapes became car talkies. They wanted to fix repair cars, but this being one of the poorest sections of China, none of the car talkies owned cars. So they went out and started to repair other people's cars without the owner's permission. And even if the car did not require repair the owner would go to his car and find the tranny and the engine on the ground with six talkies arguing about the best way to repair something that was not

broken they had become fanatics that did it the gong on the local Chinese police had had enough they came to my house confiscated the tapes and my tape recorder and confined me to the happy Valley Re-education Camp, until my attitude had been corrected, however long that might take. The head commandant's name is Colonel Wang Hong Krink. He claims there has never been a successful escape from Camp Number 13. Discipline is very harsh, but fair. We wake at 4 a.m. and we fall out at 4.30.

We spend the first hour repeating over and over, I will not fix cars. The next hour we must spend repeating no more car talk, car talk bad. If we repeat all of these sayings with enthusiasm, we are rewarded with a good dinner. Fish heads. If we did very good at repeating, we get fish heads with happy smiles on their faces. If we lacked enthusiasm the fish heads have a sad look and that leaves the talkies in a depressed mood. If we did a poor job we get rice. Thank you in advance for your kind help. If necessary you can reach me through my son Biff in Stafford.

Happy Valley Re-education Camp. George Cadis. How I love it. Batu Re-education Center, People's Republic of China. Well, he's probably still there. He may be for some time to come. You may never get out. All right, here's the puzzler.

And I was struck by the fact, before we started the show today, that most kids are out of school, are about to be out of school for the summer. Yeah. Unless their little brains turn to mush I thought that this would be a good puzzle for school kids to ponder. Here it is. Now it's a little known fact but I think you'll you'll bear me out on this that potatoes are 99% water and 1% what? Not water. Potato. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Okay, you ready for that, you got that? Okay, so you say you take a bunch of potatoes, like 100 pounds of potatoes, and you set them out on your back porch to dry out. Yeah, when they dry, they should weigh a pound. Well you're not drying out completely. As they dry out, of course the water begins to evaporate, and after a while enough water

has evaporated so that the potatoes are now 98% water. If you were to weigh those potatoes at that yes, how much lighter? That's the question. Now you can obviously solve this algebraically and I invite our school-aged children to do this and anyone else that wants to do it. If you don't solve it algebraically, you're going to get the wrong answer. Really? Well, if you, Greg, what's your answer? Off the top of your head. 99 pounds. Well, you're wrong. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha off your back. I actually received this just about a year ago. June 95 was from Richard Kahane from Virginia someplace. He wins the CD, beach towel, and the Fred Imer's Buffalo t-shirt. And the Buffalo t-shirt and the hot sauce. Okay. Everything. Now if you think

you know the answer, you send that to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238 and of course for the postily challenged you can also email your answer to us by visiting cartalk.com and competing for bandwidth with our seven listeners. What the seven? I thought we had six listeners. Well Uncle Enzo got repatriated so he's back now. Oh, he got out, you mean? Yeah. Anyway, if we choose your correct answer at random and you catch us, we'll send you a copy of the best of Car Talk, so think twice before you enter. And by the way, you can also see the

puzzler again on cartalk.com, it's posted every week. You can even hear it if you have real audio. You can hear it if you want to hear it, but it's better to just read it. Well, you miss all the little inflections and all the little hints that you give with the sound of your voice. That's why it's better to just read it. If you'd like to call us with a question about your car, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

How are you? Hey, who's this? This is John Elmusconning from Cut Bank, Montana. John? I have trouble with my dipstick. Yeah? She pops out. It does. How old are you? Old enough that it shouldn't. No, I have a 79 Ford Bronco and I'll drive down the road and I'll

park and I'll check the oil because you're being a Ford you have to check the oil and and the dipstick will be up popped out of its little holder there. Yeah. Yeah, they told me I had that something called blow-by You know, whatever that might be while you may I mean it takes a lot to pop that dipstick out I mean, yeah, it does. Yeah, but I mean that's what that's one of the things that does it is Well, how much how much out of the tube is it? Oh Six inches maybe no, well're not made enough it comes up you know they've been talking about a pbc valve or the p whatever cv yeah that's it

but i thought i'd talk to you guys first they did check the pcb system and it's working apparently how much oil does this thing burn? Give us a rough idea. Rough idea, 250 to 500 miles per quart. That's good. Maybe 250 miles. I'll do it with the pens.

250. We'll go to 250. If you know when to get out on the highway, it depends on how fast you're driving. Do I hear 180? Well, that whole thing won't get up that fast anymore. Well, I suppose that the faster you drive it on the highway, the greater the consumption is. Yes. And if you're burning a quart every 200 or 250 miles, then you probably do need a ring

job because you have blow-by, and that probably is blowing the stick out. Is that what it is? You said what is blow-by? Blow-by is when the rings are shot, then an explosion of sorts takes place in the cylinder. Correct. And the force of that explosion is supposed to push the piston down, but if the rings are no good, part of that force sneaks by the rings and goes down into the crankcase.

The rings encircle each piston and are supposed to keep the piston tight against the cylinder wall and prevent these combustion gases from blowing by the rings. Is that why sometimes I find oil in my air cleaner? Yes it is. Oh yes it is. Oh yeah, you're done for. I'm not done for. Well, I mean you're not, but the Bronco is.

The Bronco is. Yeah, you may be alright. You sound alright. He's got 120,000 miles on him, but he's getting to be a pretty faithful friend. Can I just keep pouring oil on him? Well, you can be all right. You sound all right. He's got 120,000 miles on him, you know, but he's getting to be a pretty faithful friend. Can I just keep pouring oil on him? Well, you can do that, certainly. I mean, the dipstick popping out in and of itself is not a big problem. I mean, you can tie a string to it so you don't lose it. Yeah.

Right? Yeah, I mean, the fact that it- It can just go flying by, you know, with no speed limit, you get going pretty good. Yeah, I mean, just forget about it. It probably won't come all the way out and fall on the road No, no, it's not that it's not that and it doesn't matter that it's popped out. It doesn't make any differences So so as long as you keep pouring oil in it And you don't have to worry about smog and pollution out there in Montana because that's the wide open spaces Are you know any damn thing you want? I remember a couple of years ago

We had a customer that came into the shop that had lost his dipstick. Why don't I? Never mind. Well, we won't discuss it. It was rather embarrassing, obviously, but he had lost his dipstick because he was burning so much oil that, in fact, he was checking it all the time and one time he checked it. Of course, he needed oil and he added the oil but forgot to put the dipstick back in and it got lost.

You've got to be careful where you put that. Yes, rather than buying a new dipstick because it was an old car and he figured it would be a problem, he just estimated how much oil he would have to add. He said, well, you know, I add about a quart every 300 miles. That had to be another Ford. Now to be, I think it was, to be on the safe side, I'll add a quart every 250 miles. That had to be another Ford. Now to be, I think it was, to be on the safe side, Ali had a quarter every 250 miles. Well, he doesn't say he-

He ended up with eight quarts of oil in it. Eight, he came in one day for an oil change. No, he came in because it was leaking oil. And suffice it to say that this thing was leaking oil from every place an engine could possibly leak oil. And when we pulled the oil, the plug out of the oil pan, it was like a fire hole. And I think about 10 gallons of oil came out of that engine.

So don't lose your dipstick. That's the moral of the story. There you go. Just keep an eye on it. Okay. All righty? Good luck, John. Thank you guys very much.

Thanks for calling. We'll see you. Bye-bye. Well, you've squandered another hour of your precious youth listening to car talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion, punken lips, yes dear, Berman. Where is he anyway? I don't know.

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We're Clickin' Clack the Tapas Brothers, and don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. We hope. Bye-bye. If you would like a cassette copy of this week's show, which by the way is number 25, you can order it electronically on the real wide web for the shameless commerce division of Cartalk.com.

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