The Best of Car Talk - #2459: The Neatnik Mechanic Hypothesis

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Leif fr Pennsylvania has a theory that if he cleans his car thoroughly inside and out before bringing it in for service he'll get a better result at his local repair shop. Is he right? And why not? Check it out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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So if you wanna make a bigger impact and get more in return, and who doesn't, visit plus.npr.org and select the bundle option today. And thanks to everyone who's already signed up. ["The Daily Show Theme"] Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tapit Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Behavior Modification Therapy.

Behavior Modific... No kidding, what does that mean? Oh, I don't know, I just invented the... Very good. Isn't it? Just invented it. That's a bestseller title if I ever heard one. In any event, I've been witnessing lately a phenomenon that has me greatly disturbed

and I'm going to rant and rave about it. I love it! Yeah, go ahead. And it's because of this witnessing of this phenomenon that I think that behavior modification therapy is in order for the people engaging in this. And what I've been witnessing, and I can't believe this, and the first time I saw it, I figured, well, it's gotta be one out of 20 million people that do this.

I don't know how many motorists there are in the road every day, probably 100 million. What it has to do with driving. Has to do with driving. Ooh, that's even better. And it has to do with mixing something with driving. Oh, I know what it is then. You know what it is.

I do know what it is. You know what it is. And I have witnessed on several occasions, people reading and driving at the same time. I mean, not just looking at a map. I can almost understand that. You lost, you glance at the map, you look at the street signs.

I've seen people reading catalogs. War and Peace. The most recently, the most recent bestseller by John Grisham, and you can't possibly tell, you can't read three words of a sentence and pay attention. I can barely change the station on the radio without having an accident. And how can you possibly read and drive at the same time? It's impossible and it's dangerous. If you do it, cut it out.

Well it's partially, you know... And if your life is so busy that you have to read and drive at the same time... You should be taking pills so you're gonna stay awake all night. You should be doing something else. You should move closer to work or you should be riding the bus to work. Exactly. Or some such thing, but you can't read and drive at the same time because you're gonna kill somebody. And the behavior modification therapy I suggest is that you get in front of these

people and you let allow them to tailgate you. And at the appropriate moment, while you're looking in your rear view mirror and this person is reading, you slam on the brakes, but you're going to make sure you're not driving your own car. I was driving your car at the time. Well, here's my, I have a similar plan actually I'm I have the same problem of people especially on the street where I live. My blood pressure hardly went up at all. It didn't huh? No I mean I was able to rant

and rave calmly. I don't think it mad I don't think it counts then. It doesn't count? If your blood pressure isn't over 200. It already is. Then you're not ranting and raving. You're just making a casual state you don't have the passion that is necessary for a true rant and rave but my plan to slow down the people driving up and down my street is to take a ride tomorrow broke over glass over to nissen bombs junkyard and I'm gonna buy a $50 car and I'm gonna register it and I'm gonna get no insurance for it. And every day I'm gonna back into somebody who's barreling down my street, making sure

that he hits me. Excellent. What do I care? And now I'm like, what have you done to my car? I'm sure that this will get you a nomination for the annual humanitarian award. Can we take a question? The Darwin Award. Would you like to call us at numbers 1-800-332-9287?

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey. Hey. How's it going? Hey. Good. Who's this? This is Leaf from Chester Springs, Pennsylvania.

Leaf, like an Erickson? Yeah, except for my last name is Gustafson. Oh. Chester Springs, Pennsylvania. Leaf, like an Erickson? Yeah, except for my last name's Gustafson. Oh. Chester Springs, are you an Amish person? No, I'm married on Mennonite. Are you calling on your cell phone? And I teach at a Quaker school, so I guess I'm kind of in the ballpark.

Oh, that's close. What do you teach, Leaf? Language arts, seventh and eighth grade language arts. Language arts? Is that differentiated from language by the fact that you don't actually teach a language you just teach the art of language well the the theory being that you know there are uh... various skills in uh...

and i guess in the the traditional subject of english you know the listening the speaking the reading the you know so i'm if you incorporate all that into an art then you can cover all the bases rather than just uh... focusing on uh... the vocabulary but i think rather than focus on actually learning anything i think that was the part of my character that up for that

lost of my question actually and i i guess that you incident i've had some experience with schools like that yeah where they're more interested in all the touchy-feely abstract stuff then actually teaching anything that's okay right now mathematics arts not supposed to be insulted here i don't know what you could take it that way.

Are you putting down the fact that I'm a huge warm fuzzy? No, not at all. Not at all. What's on your mind today, Leaf? Well, I really need some advice. I mean, there's a small problem, but I need some advice. I have a ritual that I have form through the years with my ninety one civic hatchback

and what i do it thoroughly clean the car inside and out before i take it in for service uh... that you know my thinking is that if i thoroughly clean the car yeah when i take it in for service they're going to have a look at the car and think wow I really care about this thing. Yeah, we'll pay extra special attention Yeah, well, I just took the car in for the 90,000 mile tune-up Uh-huh, I'm looking at the I'm looking at what they did and the price of everything and I just don't think my rituals work

So I'm actually thinking of trash trashing the ritual and i'm not talking you know i didn't just vacuum over the maps you you are more than ever and out yet well why why are you saying that the ritual isn't working it because they charge the heck out of you know she had to think this might be where they take you chart they did charge a heck out of me but here's where the small problem might come in whenever i come to a stop

uh... this is from probably uh... i may have had the car for about a year uh... and then this started to happen it sometimes it almost stalls in fact it comes to the point where the the engine light um... illuminates slightly yeah and then and then it kicks back in the idle uh... so you know i'm thinking oh wow you know what this ritual going to take care of the problem because they're going to during you know regular tune-ups and

everything they're gonna of course find this because i take such a care my car and they will fix it well i see i see it well it's still happening care of my car. And they will fix it. Well, I see, I see. Well, it's still happening. Well, I see. That's why you get backfired. Just to address your primary concern, I think that people whose cars are all cleaned up and shiny and look like they've been taken care of by the owner, are treated better by the technician who

works on the car. So really? And contrary to what you might think, the bill is not going to be lower, it's going to be higher because he's going to pay special attention and spend extra time in the car knowing that you are someone who wants his car taken care of. Right. You're an anal retentive and he's going to make sure that you are pleased. So it is an automatic catch-22. It's an automatic catch-22. Sort of is. But on the other other side of the coin you are getting what you hope when and i would expect to be better service and better care for your car but you're paying extra for it okay yeah

but see the other problem the other mistake you're making or a mistake that you're making is expecting the mechanic to find things without your explaining that thing of course that's a very mistake. We can't even find the problems when they do explain the stuff to us. Yeah, I mean you can't expect the guy to notice this peculiar little problem. First of all, if he even notices it, he doesn't know that it happens to you day after day. He says, it happened once, who cares, forget about it. You've got to be very, very explicit. We are not dealing with intuitive people here

Well, yeah, you're not dealing with people who can make great leaps of logic We're dealing with people to whom you must be very very explicit and clear Well and to defend technicians because I am one you say You don't fix nothing that the customer didn't complain about. Yeah, exactly. Because you get yourself in trouble doing that. So if it isn't on the repair order, forget it. You know, you might call it to the customer's attention, but you just don't go ahead and

fix it because the customer has a right to complain. You say, well, I noticed your rear view mirror had fallen off and I glued it back on. I didn't want you to do that I was gonna do that on Saturday. Yeah. Okay. Are you married, Leaf? Yes I am. Well I suggest to you having had much experience in marital disputes I suggest to you that you don't use this same philosophy with your wife. She ought to be noticing this. She ought to know that she blah blah blah blah whatever it is. She ain't gonna notice it. Not because she's stupid. But you gotta learn to communicate better. Wow. You gotta open up man. You know what you need? A language arts course. You're not using the language correctly. Yeah I mean, for a guy who teaches language arts, you've been quite laconic about all

of this. Well, actually, now you would have only learned that word had you actually been in a language arts class. Well, you have to mend your ways before it's too late, Leaf. You have to turn over a new leaf. I was waiting for you guys to do that, but you know, if I didn't have this small problem then I would have never been able to talk to you. Well we're glad for you, if you called, because I think we've straightened you out, man.

This is going to change your life, man. Yeah, and it didn't cost me a thing. Well, maybe it did. Maybe it did. Looking down at that last bill, but... What I like best, though, is the way you came onto the show by saying, Hey! That made my day. Yo!

Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Good luck, man. See you later, Lee. Bye-bye. We'll be right back with the answer to the puzzler right after these very important messages. On Wait Wait, we ask very well-known people about things that people don't know about them. Like, what was Malala Yousafzai doing when she heard she'd won the Nobel Peace Prize?

I went to my physics class. I said, I have to finish my school day because when you get the Nobel Peace Prize for education, you have to finish your school day. I'm Peter Segal for the real secrets of the rich and famous. Listen to the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me podcast from NPR. If you think the economy makes no sense right now, you are probably right, because even economists can't explain it lately. But our podcast, The Indicator from Planet Money, we're a little dose of clarity on the biggest economic questions of the day

and about the forces that affect your life. In 10 minutes or less, every weekday, the indicator from Planet Money, from NPR. From Cowboy Carter to Old Town Road to Yellowstone, the symbol of the cowboy has been riding high for a few years now. But my big question is why are we turning to the cowboy? What's actually holding the reins on America's imagination and what does it reflect about our psyche? Listen to It's Been A Minute from NPR. Honest human stories. That is what we do at NPR and we do it for you. Keep listening. All right. Now we're talking just a few minutes ago about behavior modification therapy. And I have to admit, I have made an unfortunate habit of degrading my poor, sweet brother during

this part of the show. And I admit I have at times taken great pleasure embarrassing him in front of a national audience for what is just the result of a normal process of aging. I mean you shouldn't be making fun of me I'm doing my best. Well I realize. As bad as it is it's my personal best and I still with all that introduction haven't got a clue as to what the puzzler was last week. No. You're going to give me a clue? Give me a hint at all.

Well, I was actually, you know, I was going to, rather than use the stick approach, I was going to use the carrot approach. Oh. Instead of hitting you with the stick. Oh. I was going to use the carrot approach. We'll try it this way. If you can remember last week's puzzler, I'll tell you where I hid your denture cream.

Well, even with that kind of an incentive, I have no idea. No idea, huh? Here it is. This was sent to us by a guy named Tom Dobson. And all I can deduce from his email address is that he's connected with OHSU. That's Old Honolulu State University. HSU. That's Old Honolulu State University. Here's the question. It was very, very terse. What man-made object first broke the sound barrier? I remember that. Of course you remember now. I just gave it to you again. Well, it's familiar to me. Sometimes you'd say, you have the question and I say, what? But this time I remember it. and I okay I like the answer I like the answer I think it's an excellent question what man-made object first broke the sound barrier I know the answer what is it the V2 rock 1942 very

good long before that long years before years before that, the common whip. And the crack you hear is the tip of the whip breaking the sound barrier. You know, I've heard this before. I thought it was one of mom's dope slaps because sometimes you never know when those are coming and just like that. Yeah, out of nowhere. I think faster than the speed of light. Not just sound.

That's right. Because you could never see that hand coming. Oh yeah. Then all of a sudden you'd feel it on the boom, back of your head. Even at her age. Yeah. She can still do it now.

At the age of 85, she's still able to meet out a dump slap with the best of them. Yeah. Bing. I love it. I love it too. Who's our winner? The winner is Dan Hibbitts from Ypsilanti, Michigan and for having his correct answer selected at random as our winner this week

Our pal Dan will get a brand new Chad's house of croissants t-shirt croissant? Croissant. T-shirt. It's perfectly okay to say croissants because you've anglicized it And as we know the French won't allow any English words or any foreign words into their vocabulary Yeah, so I think we ought to take every every French expression expression and anglicize it right? Oh, yeah, okay, croissants. I was Chad's house of croissants and shirt and core and and core and because an encore performance And N-Core. And N-Core. And N-Core. And this is an N-Core performance of Kartok.

Go ahead. I'm sorry. I got started. Sorry, folks. Dan is going to get a brand new Chad's House of Kroisent's T-shirt. And we bought about 5,000 of these from Chad, who's going out of business. That day-old croissant idea just didn't go. I don't know what happened.

And we got a couple of gallons of red paint, and we put a big X through the Chad's logo and we wrote Car Talk on top of it and from NPR on the bottom of it and it's a perfect Car Talk t-shirt. Classless, tasteless and cheap looking. It's great. And recycled in a manner of speaking. And recycled. You know what? That's true. And one of all those things would have ended up as oil rags. Anyway, we'll have another new puzzler coming up during the second half of Car Talk today, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, you can call us at 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hey there. Hi. Hey there, you're with the stars. Who's this? Hey, this is Vicki from Lewisville, Colorado. Vicki, you know, I'm taking offense here at how familiar our listeners will be coming with us. Vicki says, hey there, the other guy says, hey yo!

Well, you know why? Because it's probably becoming apparent, although it wasn't in the beginning, the first 10 or 12 years that we did the show, that we're a couple of jemokes. Oh, I guess so. And I suppose... We listen to you every week. We're familiar with you. Yeah. We're like a member of the family. I mean, does anyone call Ray Suarez and say, Hey, Ray! Hey!

No, they say, good afternoon, Mr. Suarez. I'm going to call him tomorrow. Because they can tell that he's a man who has class. And breeding and education. Breeding and education. And we're what? Yahoo's. Alright, Vicki, enough of that.

Alright. What's on your mind? My mind is my 1990 Volvo. Uh-huh. It's a 240 wagon, 82,000 miles, time to die. Oh, are you kidding? Hardly broken in. Really? Seriously. It's not even halfway to time to die. Well, that's my hope. That's my hope, but I've had my first problems with it this summer, so. Oh, you'll have plenty of problems, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna die

but i haven't noticed that volvo dealerships have the best waiting rooms and nicest furniture because i know you're going to be there a long time to be there often only place that has the american plan you can sleep over and have breakfast i avoid the dealership but that i thought that all case was what was the problem well the problem is the car started overheating on me

the first time i had the problem with what we had to be power outage in the west and i got back in a lot of the traffic jam it was a really hot day and i had a p on full blast of the car is dark blue and it been sitting out the front and it was hot and i thought all that was just a fluke you know because we were that was stuck in awful traffic that's what i thought the first six times it happened to my car.

Right. Well, but then a couple weeks later I was going over Monarch Pass here, which is a pretty tough path pulling a little pop-up tent trailer, which I pull with my car. And I had trouble again, and that whole trip I had trouble, and so I stopped in Durango and I had them put a new thermostat in. Good. And as soon as I pulled out of there, it did the exact same thing. I mean, I wasn't five minutes down the road and I've had since also had a water pump put in.

Good. But it wasn't that either. It wasn't that either. What made these Dorangons put a thermostat in there? Did they check anything else? Well, I kind of asked them to. I was going to get a thermostat and I was going to put it in myself. Oh Vicki, Vicki, Vicki!

No, actually, the thermostat was a very good guess. Whoa! Sure, because the thermostat was not opening up enough to allow sufficient circulation under high speed, high load operation. That was kind of my hope. And I'm going to have to, now that I know that that didn't fix it in the water pump didn't fix it i'm gonna give you the right answer because it's almost the only thing left now should i also tell you that the problem

usually happened after i've gone the carpet temperature i stopped at for like ten minutes and i start again like i stopped at gas or something in the road driving a girl of its irrelevant material uh... in the tour and inconsistent i didn't cause to confuse you. It's the radiator. Oh, the radiator. Well, now when the water pump got replaced, they looked at the radiator and said it looked fine. Well, it sure looks fine.

For example, I look fine. You can look at my brother and say, doesn't look bad. But it's what's inside that counts. That's what's going on inside. And when you look at him, you know there's nothing going on inside. Well, supposedly somebody looked inside, but... Living inside is not good enough. You have to have someone take out the radio, as mine is being taken out as we speak, I might add. And check the flow to see how much stuff is going through it.

Okay. And I'm going to guess that in the six years that you've owned this Volvo, I was gonna guess the same thing, you probably have never had it flushed. Well that guess is correct. That guess is correct and now it's all crudded up and if you're lucky they can clean it out with an acid bath. If you're not lucky you'll have to replace it for three or four hundred bucks. Oh don't tell me that. No but it's good that you called actually because I'm sure there are dozens of people listening to the show as we speak, maybe four or five people, who said to themselves just now, gee, I didn't know you had to flush out the coolest stuff.

No, after all, the container, the antifreeze container says permanent antifreeze. Yeah, which means you can put it in there and leave it in permanently. How often should it be flushed? It should be done every couple of years, but at the very least every three years. Yeah, like every 30,000 miles or something. So you should have done it twice so far. But you're going to do it tomorrow. It may be so plugged now that in fact you cannot get it cleaned out,

and if that's the case you'll have to replace the radiator. But I guarantee you when they do that flow test, they will determine that the radiator is plugged up Okay, and if not, I can send you the bill right? Of course, send us the bill. You think you'll get in line lady. You think it'll be the first time? Just one of many, huh? See you Vicki. Good luck. Thank you very much guys. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Waylon, how much do you think it would cost to buy one of those big digital billboards in Times Square to promote our show? The indicator from Planet Money and Big Lights.

In this economy? I mean, you're probably right, but this question is the exact kind of thing that we find answers to on our show. We take one big economic idea, make it understandable, and you know, even fun. That's the indicator from Planet Money and NPR. On the TED Radio Hour, over the last few years, former White House chef Sam Cass has been hosting meals that he calls last suppers. On the menu, ingredients that are at risk because of climate change. I hope it's not that people feel guilty or depressed. My hope is that we understand what's at stake

is really like fully our way of life. The future of food. That's on the TED Radio Hour from NPR. This summer on Planet Money, we're bringing you the entire history of the world. At least the economics part. It's Planet Money Summer School. Every week we'll invite in a brilliant professor

and play classic episodes about the birth of money, banks and finance. There will be rogues and revolutionaries and a lot of panics. Summer School, every Wednesday till Labor Day on the Planet Money podcast from NPR. On this week's episode of Wild Card, actor and reading rainbow host, LaVar Burton, Planet Money podcast for NPR's Wild Card Podcast, the game where cards control the conversation. Hi, we're back.

You're listening to Card Talk on National Public Radio with us, click and clack, the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the environmental initiative. As some of you may know, my brother and I have tossed our hats in the ring to be considered as right-in candidates for the presidency of this here country and all wrong in candidate right and wrong and and we thought that the people ought to know what they're voting for so every week or so we will we will put together a set of initiatives and reveal another plank in the platform that's it by light sanding We've already put together our thoughts on the environment right right yes Share them as they say here that without with our few list in me

Environmental initiative number one we hereby announced that we are coming out generally in favor of the environment. Whereas, without the environment, we'd all be left sucking poisonous molecules in a vacuum and hurtling into the sun at the speed of light and generally having a tough time of it. We do officially come out in favor of the environment. I would say so. I can endorse that. We're proposing the creation of an environmental policy czar. The sole job of this person will be to seek out and vigorously prosecute tree-hugging,

sandal-wearing, organic cotton-buying, holier-than-thou, free-range, vegetarian martyr types who make the rest of us lousy chumps feel like pea-brained, knuckle-scra scraping troglodytes. That's our position more or less. If you want to read this it's on the website. Okay look it's time for the new puzzler. Yeah go. Here it is. What is the largest display of a company emblem to have been displayed regularly on a production passenger vehicle? Gonna be actually on the car, not like on the building. Right. Oh yeah, no, right.

It's a Chrysler building. Right. This is not painted on, this is like a chrome thing that would, you know, like Rambler would be stuck on the side of the fender of the car, Oldsmobile across the back. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Like the little BMW thing that's on the side, even on the side of the Z3. What a car that is. There you go. Yeah. That thing. So what is the largest one of those ever to be shown on a regular passenger vehicle? On a production passenger vehicle.

Yeah. It's kind of historic, folkloric, uninteresting, unimportant. And totally unnecessary. But it might win you a T-shirt or a copy of the best and CD And if that's the purpose of the puzzle then it will have succeeded now if you think you know the answer Send it to us at puzzler tower car talk Plaza box 3500 have it square Cambridge our fair city math 02238 or you can email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section.

And if we choose your correct answer at random as the winner next week, and you catch us, we'll send you a Chad's House of Cro- Cro- Cro- Croisence. Croisence. Croisence. Chad's House of Croisence Car Talk T-shirt. Now, if you'd like to call us with a question or an observation about your car, the number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hi, this is Joe from Kingston. Hey, Joe. Kingston, Kingston, like we know Kingston. Kingston, Rhode Island. Pennsylvania. Of course. Pennsylvania. Are you a Quaker or an Amish?

No, no. I don't see them driving cars too much. You don't listen to the radio either. I just realized, now we have, over the years, we have managed to alienate just about every possible listening group in the entire country and some overseas. Most overseas. But if we started talking bad about the Amish, how would they know? How would they know?

Right, I understand they're ready to give up. I understand they are. Anyway, Joe, what's up? Well, I need they are. Anyway, Joe, what's up? Well, I need your assistance. My brother-in-law, four months ago... Four months ago, brother-in-law? Yeah, he parked his 83 Honda Civic in my backyard.

Uh-oh, I can see it coming. And it's still there. Still there. Okay, um... It's a good thing it wasn't my brother's backyard, because you know where it would be now. It would be in the crusher. It's in the crusher. It's in his backyard than mine.

His what? It would be better in his yard than mine. Why pray tell is it in your yard and not his? Well, he had it, he lives in Maryland. And they, he got a notice on his car it was going to be towed as an abandoned vehicle. One Friday evening, well, Saturday morning, actually four o'clock in the morning he drove it back home. So he's out, so you knew. He parked it in front of his mother's house and she said get it out of here because he's already got a TVR and a'll hon the motorcycle sitting in the yard

So I mean he knew when he drove it to your house that he was planning to leave it there But he comes and visits it regularly But did you know when he that he was coming? Yeah, and why didn't you move? Oh, I see he owns the house that you live in yeah, but I have this car sitting in the backyard Tough and I figured well, you know, I listen to you guys you guys come up with so many creative ideas Yeah, yeah, and I'm glad you called Joe You pay him rent to live in this house. Yes

Fair market rent or below market? Fair. Fair? Fair. So you don't have to live in this house. You could live in any comparable house for the same amount of money. Oh yeah, but then if you're suggesting moving, then I'd have to move stuff and I don't want to move stuff. Well, you wouldn't have to move the car. Well, it's easier to move the car. Well, first of all, this isn't your problem. Well, wait a minute. It might be his problem. No, it isn't. It depends on whether or not this brother-in-law is his brother's wife or his wife's brother yeah who is he my wife's brother is our problem

now it's her problem is your wife's problem you know who gets the detail of fixing the problem also she wants it out of there well she said she doesn't care but when we we have to cut the grass, you have to move the car to get the weeds that grop around it and through the floorboards and stuff. Well, I think your brother-in-law needs behavior modification therapy. I mean, you can't just go sprinkling junk boxes around like my brother does. Here, hold on to my car for

like a decade or two. Well that was my next option is drive it up to your garage. No, no. Give you the title. I mean he obviously has another vehicle that he's driving. Yes. He thinks at some point, maybe five or ten years from now. He might need this car.

He might need this one. He is emotionally attached to this car. It's got 225,000 miles on it. Now the engine does run very well, but body-wise there's... Yeah, I mean how well could it run with 200 and how much longer could it have left? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Almost like it could sit there forever.

He can't mess with a person's feelings. He needs help letting go. Here's what you do. He just needs, he doesn't need the whole car. He needs a person's feelings. He needs help letting go. Here's what you do. He doesn't need the whole car. He needs a memento. Break off the rear view mirror. And mail it to him.

And mail it to him. And you're going to help with the separation process. I think every week you should break off a piece of the car. And mail it to him. And say please kiss this goodbye. And eventually the whole car will be where? Back in his house. Just give him a part and get rid of the car. A part a week. Yeah, but I think he needs help. He needs, he has separation anxiety.

Yeah. He doesn't know how to let go. This is definitely one of those things that separates people. Well, he has LJS, I think. Latent Junk Man Syndrome. Because I think people that do this want really to be junk men. It might be. I think so. My brother would be a junk man. If my brother hadn't been exposed to the education and breeding that he had, today he would be

a junk man. I know that there's anything wrong with it, and I mean it in the best possible way. Well, I mean, I don't think that's true because there are various kinds of people who collect stuff and... And most of them are junk men. No, but I don't collect stuff. It's stuff that has become a part of my life and the separation is the problem. It just so happens... Junk men go out and find other people's memories.

No, that's the next... That's phase two. Phase one is not being able to get rid of stuff. Phase two is going out and actually seeking out. Seeking out. Other people's what? Junk. Everything you have is what? Junk. If I sprinkled it with rock, salt, and lime,

would it rust into the ground any quicker? You could do that. You could do that. I hit my head. Don't mess with it, Joe. No, I'll tell you, there are consequences far beyond our ability to comprehend them. That's right. Because this could affect international relations.

Yeah. I mean, you could have a latent Ted Kaczynski on your hands. Yeah, you don't know what, I mean, it could affect the whole relationship. You don't want to get those people angry. With your mother-in-law and your brother-in-law and eventually your wife and your own kids could grow up to hate you. So I would just waddle the car,s away if that's what it has to be done. But put your foot down. No more than three cars. See you later, Joe. Thanks a lot.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Well, you've certainly wasted an otherwise perfectly good hour listening to car talk. You certainly have. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Punkin Lips Berman. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode Petutti-Ray. Excuse me, if I make a suggestion, I think it should be Catherine Petutti Cathode Ray.

I think we should just drop the Catherine part. Just Cathode Petutti-Ray. Our engineer is Karen Given and our technical advisor, although you'd hardly know it because we never see him, is John Bugsy, Sebastian, Mr. Height, Sweet Cheeks, Free Lunch, Twinkle Toes, Donut Breath, Hula Hips, 2 Gigabyte, Make That 3 Triple Cheeseburgers Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marjorie Novera. Our automotive medical researcher is Dr. Denton Fender.

Our marriage counselor is Marion Haste, our director of new product repair is Warranty Myfoot, our director of staff pay increases is Xavier Breath, assisted by Tony Von Thinking, our director of gender studies is Amanda B. Reckonwith, our director of pedestrian operations is Carlos Castaneda, the president of the Car Talk Hair Club for Men, is Emerson Fittibaldi back again after a long hiatus and he's also a client I might add, and the chairman of our underemployment study group is Art Majors, the chairman of our Joint Chiefs of Staff is John Czelly-Papa Wheely and Mr. Zizzi does our hair back again. Our chief counsel from the law firm

of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe is U. Lewis Dewey, known to the students overrunning Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and whatever you do, don't drive like my stinkin' brother. And don't drive like my stinkin' brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. If you want a cassette copy of this week's show, which is number 38, you can order it electronically on the World Wide Web through the Shameless Commerce Division of Cartalk.com

or if you prefer to speak to an actual human being, well, Burke, an actual human being,eless Commerce Division at CarTalk.com or call 303-823-8000. Car Talk is a production of Dewey, Cheetahman, Howe, and WBUR in Boston. And even though it sounds worse than the fall prime time schedule on CBS at the moment, this is NPR National Public Radio. New from the Embedded Podcast. Elite female runners are being told they can't compete because of their biology. Not only can you not compete, you're not actually female. Hear about the 100-year history of sex testing in women's sports and the hard choices these

athletes are facing now. Listen to Tested, a new series from CBC and NPR's Embedded podcast. New from the Embedded podcast. Female athletes have always needed grit and talent. But for decades, they've also needed a certificate. There was chitchat about, is that really a woman? And even now, they're still being checked and questioned. Their story is the newest series from CBC and NPR's Embedded.

It's called Tested. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.