The Best of Car Talk - #2469: Right Down the Hatch

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Barbara's 'grandmamobile' is perfect except for one thing. Every time she leaves something on the dash it slides into the vents. And just the other day that vent swallowed up her car keys. Surgical extractions with Click and Clack on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This summer on Planet Money, we're bringing you the entire history of the world. At least the economics part. It's Planet Money Summer School. Every week we'll invite in a brilliant professor and play classic episodes about the birth of money, banks and finance. There will be rogues and revolutionaries and a lot of panics. Summer School, every Wednesday till Labor Day on the Planet Money podcast from NPR. Hello, welcome to Card Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Center for Marketing Genius here at Car Talk Plaza.

From the Onion, the paper that we know and love, which comes, where does this come from, out of Madison, Wisconsin? Madison, Wisconsin, the best city in the country to live in, according to Money Magazine. Right, right. Moral. Here's the headline, Top of the page. General Motors introduces new instant win airbags. I mean this is the marketing coup of the century. It says Detroit with third quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11% since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new

instant win airbag contest Which award fabulous prizes upon violent high-speed impact With another car or stationary object will come standard in all the companies There's a picture Adjacent to it with an inflated airbag and the driver sitting behind it and says, Sorry, you are not a winner. Try again. Ha ha! Auto accidents have never been so exciting, said GM Vice President of Marketing, Roger Jenkins. Da da da da. Ha ha ha!

Well, you know, it's not a bad idea. I mean, if you're gonna have a crash... Might as well be a silver lining, so to speak. Exactly. I mean, everything, if it's bad you say well at least his heirs Well, maybe your heirs don't when you must be present Sorry Dead bodies don't Fred we won 500 bucks

Cover the deductible red red Oh well. Fred, I won 500 bucks! Hey look, before we take a call, I just have to read a very short note here from Susie Kane in St. Augustine, Florida. Dear Ray and Tom, not Tom and Ray, but Ray and Tom, here's a question I'm sure you guys can answer. Why are there always shoes in the

road? There is not a week that goes by that I don't see shoes lying in the road. Sometimes there's one, sometimes a pair. Size and gender seems to be of no consequence. What is the deal? Do people just drive down the road flinging shoes out the window as they go? Why are there shoes on the road? I've had the very same question which is the reason I bring it up. How do shoes get on the road? Sneakers most of all, shoes and sneakers. Well, I can imagine one way, the shoes are in your car and you open the door and they jump out. I knew you'd have a brilliant answer. Okay fine. And if you leave a window open, forget it, you can lose an entire wardrobe. Jackets, ties. But you never see that stuff

on the road. It's just shoes. I'm sure one of our listeners will. One? They'll all know. Our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. I mean they'll both know. They'll both know, right. Hello, you're on Car Talk I mean they'll both know they'll both know right hello you're on car talk hello this is joy from Atlanta hi Joyce how are you I'm doing fine how are you guys hey what's up Joyce well today I have a question actually it's not a question I need a mediators and you guys are the perfect guys to do this yeah we're honest we're sincere and and we tell it like it is. And non-caring.

Okay, so you're sincere and non-caring. Well, my boyfriend said he's gonna listen to what you say, so here's the question. He says that when he's got a Taurus, and he says when you stop the car, that you should put your foot on the brake, put the car in park, and then put the parking brake on before you take your foot off the regular brake. Now he says that will help keep the transmission longer. This is it red lights? When you're parking for the day. What's your position? My position is you put your foot on the break you put in the park who and who cared if you put on the right

uh... i see that my business that's your position right okay and i'll call so you with this boyfriend i mean is that you are a close with tight here tight yeah okay your relationship is is strong drawn yet so if one of you is is

shown to be a complete moron on this one uh... it's not gonna affect how you feel about it you know he's a moron so or how you feel about us right now this is no big deal actually. Okay. But technically, your boyfriend's right. Okay, so we'll help keep the transmission longer. Well, not necessarily.

I mean, he's right, but it's so insignificant. Okay, if he's going to be neurotic, I can let him be neurotic about that. If you're going to be anal retentive about this, then yes, he's right. And the only time it would really matter is if you were on a rather steep hill, you might have trouble getting it out of park. Okay. If you didn't do it his way. Okay.

And if you did do it his way, you wouldn't have trouble. The reason is that you would be then using the transmission as sort of a backup as opposed to the primary means of holding the car from rolling. Okay. All right, now what do you think about this? Yeah. When the car is in the garage, the trunk has to be open because we've got to air out the

trunk because when he was growing up in England, they had damp weather there. Oh. But it doesn't matter if it's raining here or not, we've got to keep the trunk open in the car. This guy is a screwball. Get rid of him, will ya? Come on, what's with you? Air it out, eh? And has he already removed the light bulb that's in there so he doesn't drain the battery?

Yes, he has. So in jolly old England, it's so damp you open up the trunk. Right. The boot. Or the boot as we call it. Uh huh and you air it out at night so yeah I don't know. I think you're gonna safely tell him that's not really necessary here in this world. Okay but I don't think that's gonna change. Well it works out perfectly because he wins on one and you win on the other. I mean what better that's correct at tell me can do either one he can either leave the truck open or he can go through his funny funny little machinations when he'd put he parks the car but not both okay and

let him pick let me know you want because the one of them makes uh... any difference to anything in the world okay well i'll be a hard choice. But it does say something about this guy. And what's that? He's a little bit strange. Well here's why I bring this up, because you sound like a lighthearted, devil may care,

have a good time kind of person, and he sounds like a control freak and a kind of, I don't know, what's the word? He's a neurotic! That's the word! He's neurotic! He's wacko! And I'm curious how the two of you, A, got together in the first place and managed... How long has he been your boyfriend? Is this like a day or two? About a year. A year? Well, when he gets on his neuroses I just leave the room

just go somewhere else. Ah, so you admit. Now he won't let me do the laundry because I might do it wrong. Well, count your blessings Joyce. That's a good thing. He hangs the laundry up in the kitchen. Yeah, see if you can get him to think about cooking the same way and doing dishes. No, we don't want to eat what he eats. Oh, that's right, he's British. He makes tuna fish with jalapenos, salsa, mayonnaise, mustard, and hot peppers over pasta. That sounds good, actually.

It does? Better than that junk that he's been eating over in the old country. Do you ever eat that weird food that the Brits eat? No. Oh, good God. Have a kidney pie someday if you really want to barf. Joyce, reconsider everything. That's it.

Okay. See you later. Bye. Yeah, we busted up another relationship. Well, I think it's wrong. I mean, they're headed down the wrong road. You think so, eh? I do.

She has a moral obligation to marry this guy and re-educate him. Perhaps. Right? I mean, for the sake of the rest of the world and to make sure that their progeny are level-headed. I mean, we had relations, I'll call them. Her name was Louise and his name was Vinnie or Jimmy, depending on... We've discussed him before. I've discussed him once before. Depending upon local statutes. And their way of communicating was Louise would...

Hi Louise, and say, how are you? And she'd say, I'm fine. It's really been a wonderful day. I got up early this morning and Jimmy would say, Louise, you? And she'd say, I'm fine. It's really been a wonderful day. I got up early this morning and Jimmy would say, Louise, you didn't get up that early. She said, I got up at seven o'clock. No, it was 715, Louise. She goes, oh, and then I went to the supermarket. Louise, it wasn't the supermarket. It was just a small store. Everything she said, he disagreed, contradicted. Now, if this guy is doing this now and these people are in their 18's. But to be fair everything he said was right she contradicted too because she had to get into the

act. Oh of course but is that any way to live? Is it? I don't know. They lived to be in the 90s by fighting all the time. Well it gets your juices flowing keeps the blood pressure up where it's supposed to be. 280 over 170. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi. Yeah, who's this? This is Dr. Brindlinger in Happy Valley, Oregon. What's your name again?

Dr. Brindlinger. Brindlinger? Yeah, Irv, I-R-V. Brindlinger. Good, yeah. Got it. Brindlinger. Brindlinger? Yeah, Irv, I-R-V. Brindlinger. Good, yeah. Got it. Brindlinger. Yeah. We'll just call you Doc.

Yeah. And what, what, what pray tell are you a doctor of? Of, uh, teach theology and church history. Oh, so you are a PhD doctor. Yeah, right, not the cutting kind. Well, you know, we've had lots and lots of mail and phone calls from people saying that you PhDs have got some nerve calling yourselves doctor. I think the only one entitled to that honor are the guys that wield the scalpels.

Well, I'm not so sure. Guys and women. As you know, I too. I too? I also am a doctor. Okay, how come? guys and women as as you know i too uh... i do i i also and a doctor okay and and i think that's how this whole thing started i'd made believe one day that i was doctor my artsy

and my brother said dot that's that he said you don't deserve that title because you can't cut someone open but it's good he said watch me i don't like cut you up anyway doc what's up a well-written i've i gave my daughter and eighty one mustang a few years ago it was actually uh... a car that i had gotten from a friend who bought it uh...

when it was new that was totaled so i've rebuilt the rear end and gave it to her so she's been driving about three and a half years i have never been able to get heat out of the heater and you know the first thing i would do is uh... but thermostat in it i've done that twice the car doesn't live here and so i can't roadtrip that so i just try things and

then she reports back whether it's better so just uh... just a few days ago I tried the thermostat again, thinking well maybe the last one wasn't good, and since I had the car I flushed the heater core and I got good flow through the heater core, but I'm still not getting heat. So you're so close. You are so close. That's what I think, but what can it be? Well you can get good flow through the heater core without getting heat. If the heater core is covered with a nice insulating layer of, what's the technical word?

Crud. Crud! Right. That's the word. I was groping for it. Yeah. So if the inside of the, in order for the heater core to work, the hot water passes through it, but the heat has to get transferred from the water to the metal core.

And then the air passes through the core and makes heat in the car, but if there's an insulating layer of crud between the water and the metal of the core, then it doesn't work too well. So I suspect, considering it's an 81, that that heater core is plugged up, not in the traditional sense that it impedes the flow. Plugged up on the outside. No, no, it's plugged up on the inside with the accumulations of 15 years of driving. It's never been replaced. And I think if you put a new heater core in, you'll have heat galore.

Okay. So some weekend, It probably costs you less than 50 bucks to buy it. Okay. Okay. And it's a nice Saturday. Saturday, Sunday, Monday project. Yeah. Do it on a warm Saturday. Warm Saturday. Okay. Do it soon. Thanks for calling, Doc. Okay, thank you. Thanks for calling. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Hey, the puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. Okay, so tell me if this sounds like you. You love NPR's podcasts, you wish they weren't interrupted by sponsor breaks like this one, and you want to support NPR's mission of creating a more informed public. If this does sound like you, then it's time to sign up for perks across more than 20 podcasts with the NPR Plus bundle.

Learn more at plus.npr.org. If you're hearing this, that means you haven't gone sponsor free with NPR Plus. Join us on the plus side for awesome podcast perks across more than 20 NPR podcasts, including bonus episodes, behind the scenes content, sponsor-free listening, and more. Learn more and sign up at plus.npr.org and never hear this promo again. Hey, I'm Robert Smith from Planet Money and this summer we are bringing you the entire history of the world, at least the economics part. It's Planet Money Summer School. Every week we'll invite in a brilliant professor and play classic episodes about the birth of money, banks

and finance. There will be rogues and revolutionaries and a lot of panics. Summer School, every Wednesday till Labor Day on the Planet Money podcast from NPR. Truth, independence, fairness, transparency, respect, excellence. This is NPR. All right, brother. I'm sure you remember. Of course I do. I'm on top of the puzzle. You noticed that? I am on top of the puzzle situation And you remember it why? What do you remember it? Why why you said I remember I can remember a puzzler very easily if it has a lot of numbers there you go

Oh, yeah, so I sprinkled you sprinkle irrelevant numbers. Yeah throughout throughout. There were some relevant numbers There was a 14-year-old boy involved. 11. A 16-year-old car. Yeah, I'm wrong. A fishing pole. There you go. This is the story of me.

I have to admit, Catherine gave me some visual cues. Catherine, you sneaky devil while I was distracted. Here it is. It's the story of a young boy. How old? 11. And he's standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus. What number bus?

31. 12. It's early afternoon. What time? 13. 12, 30. And he's standing there with the new fishing rod he just bought.

How long is the fishing rod? 13 feet. No, no. 10. No, no! How can it be 10 feet, you moron? 5. 5 feet. 5. 13 feet no no 10 no no how can it be 10 feet you moron 5 5 feet

I remember all these numbers the bus stops and the boy attempts to get on the bus and the driver stops him as he puts that first foot in the door and the bus driver says hey kid you can't get on the bus why not because the bus driver says there's a city

ordinance ordinance number what 113 can't get on the bus. Why not? Because the bus driver says there's a city ordinance. Ordinance number what? Twelve. One thirteen. That was bus number twelve. Which prohibits anyone from carrying anything on the bus that's longer than four feet. And the kid says, oh how am I going to get home? The bus driver says that's your problem kid. That fishing rod is five feet long and you're out of here. So he kicks him off the bus and the kid stands there, bewildered.

He says, I guess I'll have to go back to the store and return the fishing rod. He goes back to the store. There's a sign that says no returns after 15 minutes. So he stuck with the fishing rod and the bus is the only way home. Suddenly, suddenly he has an idea. He walks back into the store again. Five minutes later, he's on the bus with the fishing rod, legally. Yeah.

And on his way home. He did not bend, break, saw it in half, collapse or alter the fishing rod in any way. Did he buy anything else in the store? No. He didn't. He did not buy anything. He just had a brilliant idea. Is that it?

He did, however, get something in the store. He got something he asked them for an empty box that was three feet by four feet meeting the criterion of nothing longer than four feet all right with a diagonal of what Five feet! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo The winner is Douglas Yates from Madison, Alabama, not Wisconsin. And for having his correct answer chosen at random as our winner this week, our buddy Douglas gets a coffee of the brand new second Best of Car Talk CD. This new album features 70 minutes of Car Talk classic moments, including the story of Max and the Schnauzer, the saga of Gail the Tollgate fugitive. We almost got her in trouble. Oh, we did get her in trouble she's doing time now and

for no charge bonus laugh tracks to make your computer or answering machine sound as obnoxious as this radio show and dog we're gonna send you a car talk gift sticker a little sticker you can put on it and give it as a gift in case you want to dump it on somebody else

How's that for a day? Right and this thing says it says via the shameless commerce division of car talking. This is happy belated merry begrudging Congratulations, you check the one off and yeah, Hanukkah Christmas Valentine's Day anniversary Mother's Day Groundhog Day That I died and it has to and from just like a thing you'd stick on a present Hey, we can send one to mom. It even has on the list parole from, just like a thing you'd stick on a present. Hey, we can send one to Mom. It even has on the list parole.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Happy parole, merry parole, belated parole. Hey, that's very cute. Congratulations on your... On your? Parole. Anyway, we have a new puzzle coming up during the second half of Car Talk,

so stay tuned. In the meantime, you can call us at 1-800-332-928. Wait, wait, wait, not so fast. Don't you know what time it is? Yes. It's time to play Stump the Chumps. Every few weeks, as part of the quality control efforts here at Trout Talk, Associate Producer Ken Rogers contacts a caller

from a previous show. To find out if the advice they received on Car Talk was helpful. If they say yes, I'd like to be on Car Talk again. Ken invites them to play Stump the Chumps. But if they say yes, and is it okay if my lawyer joins us by conference call? Yeah, then Ken hangs up on them.

So who's this week's chump stumper? Today's contestant is Deb from the fair city of Portsmouth in the thoroughly wacko state of New Hampshire, where their motto is, live free and die young. Deb's 1989 Subaru began leaving puddles in her driveway after a recent tune-up, and that prompted her to call us. I love these dream sequences where we go back in time. Why, they make me feel so ephemeral.

Which is all the fluid levels, everything. After I've taken it in, I discover that there's a puddle on my garage floor. And upon trying to investigate where that puddle is coming from, I realized that the reserve for the cooling system seems to be either leaking or it's very high, the level is very high so it's seeping out through the cover. I unscrewed the cap and stuck my finger in and my finger comes out looking like I have Hershey's chocolate on it. Wow.

Did you taste it? No, but I smelled it. Wow. Did you taste it? No, but I smelled it. I thought of using a straw to get some of it out. I can't do it. Did it smell like antifreeze? It smelled like a good shirt antifreeze. We told her to taste it. No wonder we're always in trouble. Actually, Deb would have to say that her car was consuming oil and that her local mechanic had warned her that she might have a blown head gasket. And did we concur? I mean, my memory is not good. Did we concur with her mechanic's diagnosis?

Oh, that would have been the safe thing to do. But no, we did. We told her that the oil was likely being burned by the engine and that the black stuff in her coolant reservoir was probably just something like pieces of her water pump. Woof, we're out on a limb on that one! Hey, you never know! Well Deb, are you there? I'm here. Deb, how wonderful to speak with you again, I think. Wait, wait, before we go any further Deb, we have to make it clear to our other

listener on the show that we have not spoken since your appearance on car talk that time right that is true and that the responses you are about to give here on stump the chumps have in no way been influenced by the promises of cash or tote bags from npr is that true that is true alright i thought that was how do we do well i'm uh... seven hundred ninety six dollars and ninety-five or and i both to you

that's not like head that uh... it was the head gasket it with a head gasket and a dead oil pump at their matter of fact to each other every computing to me because i couldn't understand why the check

oil like never went on but uh... i would have a little map because you told me to stop spending so much time looking under the hood well and i thought all right they get me because a i'm a woman no no hard from new hampshire well that that might have been a lot of uh...

uh... the reason well think of the bright side of the picture you will not Well that might have been why. Or see, I own a Subaru. That might have been a second reason. Well, think of the bright side of the picture. You will not be burdened this holiday season with Christmas shopping. Because you have what? Have what? No money. So you won't have to buy anyone a Christmas present because you spent all your money fixing your cylinder head gaskets, which you didn't need.

But that's beside the point. You'll be proud of me too because I went to the mechanic who would service the car two days before I noticed this problem and I got a hundred dollars back from him. Very good. I had to fight a little battle but I'm I did it and so I really felt proud of myself. So what do we owe you? You told me to send a sludge to you with a thousand dollars. Oh that's what this little bottle is! See, just before the show started, Ken came in with a little bottle that says, Ground Nutmeg on it, and he ate with the admonition not to drink it.

Boy, now this is the stuff that was in your radiator? The radiator overflow tank, yeah. Oh, it's obvious now! It's oil, man! Why didn't you say so? Let me see that thing. I told you, you stick your finger in and it looks like Hershey's chocolate. Oh man, it's disgusting. It is. You could have ruined your engine. It's a good thing you didn't listen to us. This is certainly not pieces of your water pump. Yeah, so now

I've decided I can't listen to you to try to improve my knowledge base of cars. I just have to listen to you for entertainment purposes only. Yeah, okay. All right, all right. We'll send you a washing machine or something. Thank you. See you devil. Thank you very, very much.

Thank you. Bye. I still enjoy you. Bye-bye. Well, we went out on a limb and we lost. We fell off. When you take the chances, you sometimes, you have to be prepared to lose. I don't want to mention it, but it was my brother's wacko idea about

the water pump. I mean, where the hell did he go? How did you come up with that? You were just grasping at straws. I didn't think she was really paying attention. Don't go anywhere. Stick around for more calls and the new puzzler coming right up. Every weekday, NPR's best political reporters come to you on the NPR Politics Podcast to explain the big news coming out of Washington, the campaign trail and beyond. We don't just want to tell you what happened, we tell you why it matters. Join the NPR Politics Podcast every single afternoon to understand the world through political eyes. Hey, this is Elsa Chang from NPR, where we practice active listening. You know, when we're interviewing someone, we're not just throwing out questions at

them. We are listening to the answers, following up, trying to make sense of things so that you have an opportunity to be an active listener too. Keep listening with NPR. NPR brings you the updates you need on the day's biggest headlines. The Senate narrowly passed the debt ceiling bill that will prevent the country from defaulting on its loans. Stories from across the world. Knowing how to forage and to live with the land is integral to Ami's culture.

And down your block. From CPR News, this is Colorado Matters. And you can find all of that and more in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. These days it can feel like the news is fighting for your attention wherever you turn, but staying informed shouldn't be a battle. Everything you need to navigate the stories that matter to you is at your fingertips. The NPR app cuts through the noise, bringing you local, national, and global coverage.

No paywalls, no profits, no nonsense. Download the NPR app in your app store today, or you can go to npr.org. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, clicking clack for Tapper Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and a dissenting opinion. Well, the truth is that I like this letter only because of the style. I have no idea what the content is, but it sounds interesting. So I'll read it now. I haven't read the whole thing.

It's from Michael McGuckin. Where is he from? We don't know. I heard the letter from a listener today that suggested we move Monday to another day of the week and then move all the other days around too and have to say, and I have to say that that guy is nuts. He is obviously a postmodern philosophical deconstructionist who believes that what we name something determines its essence.

That idea stunk when the French first suggested it and it stinks now. See what I mean? This guy's got it. The first day back at work will be the worst day of the week even if we did call it Wednesday. What we really need is a three-day weekend every week. Absolutely. Now this would not be as hard as you might think. The key is to go, get this, to an eight-day week. This is a man who's thinking. So you shave a few hours off every day. By going to the eight--day week We would not only eliminate the Monday syndrome where no work gets done. Anyway

Increasing GNP and making it possible for this nation to compete in the global marketplace But it will increase employment at the same time by creating the need for extra Part-time workers to fill the jobs that have to be done on the extra day Let's call the new day Tom and Ray's Day. Tom and Ray's Day. Tom and Ray's Day. Just for the heck of it. Okay. Now, with an eight-day week, we would restructure the rest of the calendar. Make every month three weeks long 24 days, which solves the problem of having the unpleasant months of January and August too long.

January's too cold, August is too hot, but they're only going to be three weeks long. Perfect. And gives us room to add three months which we could put where we really need them, like say in the middle of spring so that everyone has time to fall in love and the middle of fall might be nice, a whole month of Indian summer And maybe we could put the third one between November and December so that the stores aren't putting up the stupid Christmas lights before Halloween This guy has thought this through 15 months of three weeks each eight days long equals

360 days to account for the extra 5 days in the year, I suggest that every 3 months, or 72 days, whichever comes first, we insert a holiday between Tom and Ray's Day and Monday, giving us a 4-day weekend to look forward to. And once every four years we could have a five-day weekend. I'm sure you will agree that this is a much better solution to the Monday problem than that other wacko proposed. Ah, here we are. Michael McGuckin, Notre Dame, Indiana. Michael, this is the most brilliant thing I have ever. I knew that you would have thought so. I'm gonna write right on this. Wow! Wow! Well this will be up on the website tomorrow. Absolutely. Absolutely. If you forget if you remember to give it to me.

Okay it's time for the new puzzler. Yeah what's it about? Well I'm gonna make it aboutalley. Okay. It's time for the new puzzler. Yeah. What's it about? Well, I'm going to make it about you. Okay, good. Back in the old days when my brother used to work, my brother used to have his wife drive him to the train station and then he'd take the train and go to work. And then an hour later, he'd get on the train to

come, come home and he'd arrive. After lunch. After lunch, right. He'd get to the train station and his wife would meet him there and they would drive home. Well, one day he decides to leave work an hour early, 11. And needless to say, he gets, gets to the train station an hour early. Well, rather than call his wife, he decides it's a nice day. I'm going to hoof it.

So he starts walking in the direction that he knows she'll be driving. You following me? I'm with you. You're with me? No, you weren't with me. You were alone with me. I was alone. And lo and behold, he sees his wife coming up the road, and she sees him by the side

of the road, taking a haircut. Yeah. They get in the car and they drive home and they arrive home 20 minutes earlier. Don't forget, she left home at the usual time, not knowing. Of course, she didn't know he was going to be an hour early. They get home 20 minutes earlier, then they would have gotten home. How long was he walking before they met? Now you'll notice there's no mention of

how fast she drives, how fast he walks, which train he took home, how fast he walks, what any of the distances were. Wow. And yet I forgot the question. Well I don't remember the question. How long was he walking? How long was he walking? Before she picked him up. Wow! Now if you think you know the answer, send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our First City, Math 02238, or you can email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section. When he walked home, was he carrying a 3 foot by 4 foot box? Yes, with a fishing rod.

And if we choose your correct answer at random as the winner next week and you catch us, we'll send you a second Best of Car Talk Caseto CD. And don't worry, it'll arrive in the plain brown wrapper. As everything does that leaves our office. If you'd like to call us with a question about your car our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello you're on Car Talk. Hi this is Barbara. Hi how are you? Where are you from? Sacramento, California. I've heard of it. Heard of it. Yeah. So what's up Barbara? I have an 85 Osmobile, better known as the grandma mobile or the little

wherever I happen to be what kind of old mobile Delta 88 a big one for oh yeah yeah yeah now are you a grandma pardon are you a grandma oh yeah you got the right car oh you betcha yeah everybody gives me a wide berth Through the keys on the dashboard Uh-huh. He went down the holes in the dashboard cool very bad Design problem there. Yeah. Yeah, I have a constant rattle rattle rattle Yeah, put the dental floss on a magnet. They had a hole. Good, good. But the keys were aluminum and nothing happened. No, no, no, no.

Oh no, it did. I lost the magnet down there. So then a little time went by, got used to the noise, then got unused to the noise, did a fish hook. This is like that song, I know an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. So now I have the keys, the magnet, and the fish hook. The fish hook.

Really? Is there any way I can retrieve that thing? Well, how did you- I thought of a bent nail, but I don't know if that'll work. No, you've tried everything. Okay. Well, not everything. Well, short of having a two hundred fifty dollar bill

at the auto agency they told me at the car agency that they had had so much trouble with that people had lost diamond earrings bridges from dental work it's just take out your teeth and throw them on the dashboard. Well, no, it happens. You sneeze. Your teeth come flying out and they go right down the hatch. Right down the hatch is right. So to speak. I remember years ago, this has nothing to do with your problem, but it was almost as funny. A customer came to the garage complaining of a noise in her car and she handed me the keys and asked that we go for a test drive.

And I got in the driver's side, opened the door with the key, and I leaned over to open the door for her, the gentleman that I am. And I even not only unlocked the door, but I even opened the handle and pushed the door open. Oh, I remember this well. And as I did it, the keys, which were on my fingers, slid off, bounced on the sill,

and agonizingly slowly fell into the sewer, which was right below where she was parked. And we both stood there for a moment and then we laughed like hell. They junked her car. We never got those keys up. But I mean, they want hundreds of dollars to do this? They couldn't possibly. Well, they've got to remove the whole whole dashboard I Don't think so. I think they can get at this from underneath I can see that you're you're you're desperate and you're ready to pay the 250 however I wouldn't you have nothing to lose by trying everything else including maybe training a hamster to go down I mean why not? Oh, very good, very good. Well, I thought the fish...

the hook was pretty original. Well, you have made a little perilous to send anything living down there because of the presence of the fish hook. If I could train a mouse... But if you think it's bad now having the noise, Barber, imagine the smell of a dead mouse down there. Oh, I have that. I just got rid of one. Yeah, but it would be worse.

That's bad. Is this place a dealership, the one you brought the car to? Yeah, it was the Oldsmobile Agency, as Californians refer to them. That's who I called. That's who I think that is. The Agency? I don't think I want to deal with them. This is not something for the Agency. This is something for Joe down the street. Oh, alright. I think so. I mean, we're not talking rocket science here.

No, but they all think they are. Yeah, I know. For brain surgeons. Yeah, I mean, they have this inflated view of what they do. Don't forget, they may be able to cut into the... If this were my car, if I could find a place to cut into the duct work and then seal it up with duct tape afterwards.

Oh, what better use... The appropriate use, I might add. ...of duct tape. So there may be some creative way to do this, and the dealer only knows the book way, Tape afterwards. Oh, what better use the appropriate use I might add tape So there may be some creative way to do this and the dealer only knows the book way But and furthermore the book way is the highest price way So why would they want to do it any other way? I would shop it around but before you do that, I would try sticking a bigger magnet in there Okay tied to a gerbil

Yeah, oh and I just have a lot of those crawling around here good good luck You're gonna need it and put a piece of screen over that or something will you oh right right? Well, you know you learn once and then you get a bigger keychain. Oh, yeah Do you go have a faint blackout when you want to toss your keys up there sometimes. See you, Barbara. Good luck. Very good. Thanks, guys.

Bye. Bye. Well, you've wasted another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug, the Subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Berman. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine P Petutti-Ray. Our engineer is Karen Given. Our technical advisor is John Bugsy Sebastian.

Mr. Height's Sweet Cheese Free Lunch, Twinkle Toast, Donut Breath, Hula, Lips, Two Gigabyte, Make That Three Triple Cheeseburgers. I saw his face on a milk carton Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margino Vera. Our director of new product repair is Warranty MyFoot. Our director of computer diagnostics is Gus O'Gan.

Yes, O'Gan. I get it. Our director of staff pay increases is Xavier Breath. Our staff butler from Car Talk Bombay Division is Mahatma Kote. That's good. Our marriage counselor is Marion Haste. Our sexual harassment intervention counselor is Pat McCann.

The curator of Tom's Car Collection is Rex Galore and our manager of automotive accessories is Francis Ford Cupholder. Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howes, Hugh Lewis Dewey, known to the meter maids as Huey Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers and don't drive like my brother don't drive like my brother see you next week bye bye if you want a copy of this show on cassette it's number 48 you can get it

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