The Best of Car Talk - #2474: The Feds Are On To Us!

Episode Date: September 14, 2024

Despite broadcasting the show from a moving van every week for lo these many years it appears 'the jig is up' finally for our hosts as the FCC Chairman has found them and has a few 'questions.' Join us as Click and Clack learn all about Federal Sentencing Guidelines on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

On the TED Radio Hour, paleontologist Ken Lacavara says a spot in New Jersey sheds light on exactly what happened when an asteroid hit the Earth. This makes this the best window on the planet into that pivotal, calamitous moment that wiped out the dinosaurs and really made the modern world as we know it. The day the dinosaurs died. That's on the TED Radio Hour podcast from NPR. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, click and clack the Tappert Brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the Center for Franco Car Talky and Reconciliation here at Car Talk Plaza. Now, everybody knows, I guess, that we have recently been all over whom?

The French! Yeah. Do they deserve it? Well, yes! Besides making weird cars and lobbing against daylight savings time and trying to ban perfectly good English words like Le Supermarket and Le Nintendo. They have done all these things with what we consider to be typical French arrogance. Right?

Yeah. And we admit. Tell us about it. We took umbrage at all that. But now we realize it's time for closure, time to heal the wounds, time for reconciliation. It's a new year, a new era, and besides, they finally admitted that they're arrogant and rude. Get this!

Well, I'm not so sure that there's cause for celebration here. I'm getting this from an article written by Lynn Terry, who evidently writes for the Boston Globe once in a while and does things for NPR. But she, Paris musters a Gallic shrug for rudeness. Paris, one of the last great French traditions, one that has withstood an onslaught of American pop culture, global high-tech communications, and the invasion of English language phrases, is now under threat.

Gallic disdain, long considered especially by Anglo-Saxons to be the rule here rather than the exception, is giving way to courtesy." Now, that's what it says. But when you read further into the story, it says the following. French companies have realized that to survive and gain a competitive edge, they have to provide service American style. Then it says there's a company called GPS which is running these training programs. It says, American children are taught by their parents, teachers, and others to be friendly. In the United States, being nice is considered a virtue. In France, it's considered to be stupid to be nice. The French equate service which civility

so that's their problem uh... they think it's degrading if you apologize to customers you're admitting that you're wrong and they can't in a new area and inferior okay now here's the here's the good part nice this is even being promoted by official france for the past two summers the parisist Board has put up

Bonjour posters around the city not everyone has heated them a survey of overseas visitors conducted by the tourist board Concluded the French are arrogant argumentative and rude to foreigners what a surprise There are also rude to each other They're also rude to each other. And many persons, as many persons point out, after years of keeping strangers at a distance, some people find it impossible to be friendly. And this company GPS says that 20% of the people that he puts through this training course drop out.

They can't do it. Some people find it a culture shock.. They can't do it. Some people find it a culture shock they simply can't be nice. Really? I mean so this is a deep in-bread. Oh yeah. I mean. Right and a few words from us are not going to change it. No, no I mean the latest thing is when they vetoed the Boutrous Boutrous replacement because the guy, he spoke French, but not good enough. Yeah, well they finally, they finally acted. They finally relented, but good grief, not that we mean it in a bad way. Oh no, this is all meant as constructive.

Constructive, because they're wonderful, nice people. As constructive. At least three of them. Anyway if you have a question for us about your car or how not to be rude to your mechanic especially you can call us at 1-800-332-9287. Hello you're on Car Talk. By the way remind me to talk about Andrew Galotta at some time during the show because I think it's important. I think it's important. It was covered to us covered on npr couple weeks ago oh yeah all you know all of the other was it was it wasn't

complete will will complete the cover it was pretty good the whole year on card talk and with del cheetah from nolan lidel yeah el i d e l l that i had to be now i have a posture free i d d uh... l i d actually just l a capital d e l L apostrophe I-D-D. L-Y-D. Actually it's just L-A capital D-E-L. Ladell. Really? Yeah. From Norlins. Family name. From Norlins. N-A-U-L-L-I-N-S. Got that. And your last name is Cheatham.

Are you one of the relatives of the members of our firm? You know it's possible. I do have some relatives up in the New England area. Do you have an Otis Cheatham in the firm by any chance? I have, sure we do. Yeah, we have an Otis Elevator in our building too. Well I got a question that's probably going to be real easy for you guys. Sure.

But I had a hard time figuring this out. I'm a car salesman down here and I I just started in the business recently, and I was talking to some customer the other day. I know the question already. What's that? Well, the question is, should I go for the patent leather white shoes and belt, or the matte finish white shoes and white belt? No, no, he still isn't wearing any patent leather shoes.

He's wearing cowboy boots. Oh, he may still be a trainee. He's a trainee, yeah. All right, go ahead. I'm sorry. That's OK. Yeah, I'm still a trainee, you know. But I was spewing out these facts to this customer,

and I started talking about so many horsepower, with so many RPMs, and so much low-end torque, you know? And I basically know what that is in my head, but then the customer said, what's the difference between horsepower and torque? And I could not give them a decent answer, even though I knew what it was, and I asked the mechanics at this dealership,

and nobody could tell me, give me a straight answer. Well, you know, this is the danger in spewing out words that you don't understand, isn't it? I mean, that's why people get named BS artists, because they're spewing out stuff that they have no idea what it means. So my way to avoid that is always honesty. Honesty is the only way. You have to say, look, I read in the book that it's got so many foot-pounds of torque, but to tell you the truth, I have no idea book that it's got so many foot pounds of torque, but to tell you the truth,

I have no idea what that means. Right. That's what I've been doing ever since then. That's good. That's safe. That's the best way, that's the safest way out of it. I mean basically the difference between horsepower and torque. Torque is measured in foot pounds and so is horsepower, but horsepower is foot pounds

over time. Huh. So that would be big. Isn't that exciting? Doesn't that clear it right up? No, it's the ability to do, horsepower is the ability to do work, okay, over a given period of time, okay, and it's at a, a horsepower is what, 33,000 foot pounds per minute. Foot pounds per minute.

Huh. So if an engine can do that, it has a horsepower. Yeah, but see, if you would kept a big ball shot with them uh... i mean if you hadn't even brought up the term yeah then they've they wouldn't have been able to ask you what's the difference between torque and horsepower that we've written a mistake in what you mistake yeah right i would stay away from that and i would gravitate towards the colors of the

the correct or the cor the Corinthian leather. Yes, I think so. So how is it selling cars? How long have you been doing this and how have you been enjoying it? Well I've been on the floor about three weeks. I just got off a two week training period before that and it's quite an experience. My first week I sold a car. No kidding.

Yeah, it's a little nerve wrracking at first, getting in that closing booth. Yeah, yeah. Once you get the first one under your belt, you know, it's not like I'm going to open my mouth about anything I don't know about. Yeah. Keep it simple. The first one under your white belt. See, I mean, you are stuck here in a very difficult situation because I mean, I said

when I get myself into trouble, I revert to honesty to admit that i don't know something just tell you to be honest and also to sell cars and almost seems like it's impossible i'm starting to wonder about that i mean you know you may have heard of john bugsy sebastian lawler and who is our technical advisor on the show and

he started out as a car salesman also and he admitted to us many years after the fact of course that whenever he said to a customer I've got to go check this out with my manager he would then go into the manager's office which was visible by the customer so you could see them talking and he said what they were talking about was where they were going to go to lunch that day. But it would be accompanied by a lot of flailing a very demonstrative conversation behind this closed door with the glass there

that's exactly what happened. And you would have to make it look like you are pleading the case of the customer to the sales manager so remember that technique. That works very well. Yeah. They taught us that the first day of class. I'm sure they did. Well, Liddell, good luck.

Well, I sure do appreciate y'all. See you later. Have a good one. Thanks for calling. Bye-bye. Hey, talking of just for a minute, I mean, listening to Liddell here, recently I've been pondering the notion that oftentimes people wind up doing jobs that they're not really equipped for or they've got thrust into a job that isn't really for

them. Yeah. And it's obviously one of the chief failings of our education system in this country. Yes, it is. Well, a case in point is Andrew Galata. Andrew Galata is a- But Andrew Galata is not a- Not a product of the educational system?

Of our educational system. Well, regardless, he's a product of someone's educational system. I think Poland's. I think Poland, yeah. And Andrew Galata, for those of you who don't know, is a heavyweight fighter who recently got disqualified for a second time in a fight with the same fighter,

Riddick Bowe, for punching repeatedly below the belt. I mean, the first time you get disqualified, there was a big brawl evidently at Madison Square Garden. I don't know what the repercussions were this time. Robert Siegel discussed this on NPR a couple of weeks ago. That's right. I don't think he's considered it.

It was absolutely... But here's a guy who clearly needs a new career. This guy can't be a fighter. How stupid can you be? Actually, Robert Siegel interviewed some guy who was a sportswriter for LA Times or someplace. And the sportswriter said, well, I guess Andrew's problem is that he just can't

seem to understand the rules. He said, and this is in a sport which really doesn't have very many rules. I mean, you ought to be able to understand that rules. He said, and this is in a sport which really doesn't have very many rules. I mean, you ought to be able to understand that one. You go out there and you hit the other guy, but don't hit him below the belt. That's the only thing you've got to remember, Andrew. I can't do it. I can't do it.

Well, there's a silver lining to this dark cloud. I mean, Riddick Ball will now be singing soprano with a Philadelphia philharmonic. Hey, don't go anywhere because we've got a lot more calls, well, few anyway, and the puzzler answer coming up right after this. Need a binge listen? Check out the latest series from NPR's Embedded podcast. It's called Tested. Since long before the Paris Olympics, women in sports have been asked to prove their gender.

There was chit chat about, is that really a woman? Listen to Tested, a new series from Embedded and CBC about the history and future of sex testing in sports. All episodes are out now. On this week's episode of Wild Card, actor Jeff Goldblum sings his way through our conversation. One, two, three. One is the loneliest number. Two, oh just the two of us. We can make it three. Oh, we three, we're not alone.

I'm Rachel Martin. Join us for NPR's Wild Card Podcast, the game where cards control the conversation. I'm Elena Moore. I cover new voters for NPR. That means people who've never voted before, especially young people. Their numbers and power are growing. What issues do they care about? How do they feel? What they say can tell us where this election is headed.

My job is to bring their voices to you. To help support our work, sign up for NPR+. Just go to plus.npr.org. What does the future of food look like as the climate continues to change? We'll bring you innovations and answers during NPR's Climate Solutions Week. Explore with us at npr.org. Explore with us at npr.org slash climate week. Okay, look, it's time to get to serious business here. And here we are. It's a new year, a new era, a new beginning, a new chance to show America that you're not brain dead.

So is this the time when you're going to discuss the puzzler about the headlight with half of it painted black? Whoa. Shocked him right off his chair. Whoa. Very good. Well, here it is then. You stole my thunder. Needless to say, this summer when I was on vacation on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, I had occasion to go to one of those yard sales. It was some old house where they had a barn and lots of old junk there, and they were about to throw it all out, and they realized that some idiot like me might pay money for some of it.

So they put up a sign, actually I received a personally engraved invitation and I did find one interesting item. It was a headlight and half of the lens, that is the part for which the light is emitted, was painted black. Wow. Now, I noticed that it was old and that it was a 6-volt headlight. So I noticed it had to be like more than 40 years old, something like that. And I figured my brother probably needs a headlight for his junk box, so I bought it. The question, however, is not why did I buy this headlight, but why was half of the headlight

painted black? And I gave a hint that you wouldn't be likely to buy one of these at a yard sale in Chicago. You did give that hint, didn't you? Yes. I did. Oh, well, I'm just going to think about this for a second. It obviously has to do with ... You had a whole week to think about it.

I had a whole week to remember it It had to do with World War two there you go And it must have had to do with the fact that we're on the coast in Chicago isn't there you go Well, I was on the coast to just not the Atlantic Coast right but not the coast where the Nazis were gonna come there You go with the exact Lake they required in areas that were apt to be attacked by airplanes. But what did they do? I don't get it. They painted half the headlight black so that no part of very little light. If they're worried about the planes, why didn't they paint the whole thing black? They tried that. They wanted to leave enough lights you could barely see if you had to drive at night. But not enough so that you would, and especially for people that drove near the military installations in that area

so people were required paint the top of your headlight black so that the The the planes coming over can't spot you in a home in on you. Who's our winner, man? The winner is Phil Trieb from Gary, South Dakota. Yeah, who cares? Just get on with it, man Gary I mean Phil. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, you want okay? I'm the prize and that's it Phil's Phil treib from Gary, South Dakota. I thought was Gary was in Indiana Phil is gonna win From us a 1997 edition of the second best of car talk CD. Yeah

1997 edition was interesting this the difference between this one and the one we were selling two weeks ago? This one gets postmarked 1997 when Rogers gets her out there shipping it out. Excellent. That's it. Excellent, very well done, very succinct, brief to the point, inaccurate. Anyway.

And unencumbered by the thought process. We have a new puzzle, it's non-automotive, but I think it's rather interesting we have that coming up to the second half of carton we're playing stumped the chumps today so you want to go out for that for sure in the meantime you can call us at one eight hundred three three two nine two eight seven lawyer on carton uh... reed hund i was looking to show on the fourteenth of december and you all

said who was in charge of the f t c and i thought I'd call you and tell you that I am. Whoops. No kidding. Hi. Mr. Hunt. So what does FCC actually stand for? It's not Mr. Hunt to you, it's Mr. Chairman to you. So what have we done to get you ticked off?

Yeah, I mean how did you happen upon, with all the shows that you have to listen to, how could you happen upon our show? Yeah, go call mean, how did you happen upon, with all the shows that you have to listen to, how could you happen upon our show? Yeah, go call Imus, will you? I listen to all the shows. Oh, gee. You're really the chairman of the FCC, huh? I am the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission and I've got a couple of questions for you all.

Uh-oh. Now, you all have been talking about cellular phones and cars. Yeah. Yes, we have. Yes, we have. Okay, why does Detroit not design these cars with phone holders just like cup holders i don't know i was whose preview this falls under but i was well now we're now that we don't have landed right back on your

i mean why do you know how cellular phones in cars at all you know that i've been listening to you since 1978, you're the design critic. Well I think cellular phones just like speed, what are those things called? Radar detectors. Radar detectors, that's what you call them. What are they allowed in cars for? Is that part of your business? Radar detectors are. Look guys, you've got a look at the reality by the year two thousand there will be more cellular telephone subscribers in the

world than people who drive cars no kidding no kidding or believe that that that's the same thing as saying there's more people that you know play a cassette and drive cars you gotta have the cars accommodate the use not the other way well on the other hand there are more people that currently that he chinese

food everyday the drive cars because they're a chinese food holders in those there are a lot of exactly i think you're making a really good point can i ask you one other question sure we don't know the answer to sure i have never driven a car made in the same decade in which i've been driving it yeah and i want to know I've had a 1963 Opel a 65 Ford Farallina 74 Rabbit and an 87 Buick So we're getting close to the next century and I'd like to know what car from the 90s I ought to buy when I get to the year 2000. She's like you have an interesting Interesting trend going on

This is well, we'reach test. What does it tell you? This is, well, we're plotting this on our various scales here. Well, I mean, the truth is there are lots of nice cars being made right now. So what will be the best in the year 2000? Well, it's hard to know because we haven't finished the 90s yet. We haven't? Something may turn upon us. If you had to decide right now...

I'd buy alexis okay but i say i i i'd my brother as usual has got his head in the car that's gonna put you in the poor house it's exactly right he's not you know he's got the champagne paste and i got a beer budget i'll set the car i've been driving recently i drove one of these lead i drove pretty much the same car last year is pretty much a bare- four cylinder Camry. Boy, I'll tell you, you can't beat that car. That is a nice car.

No, there's no doubt about it. It's cheap, it's reliable, I mean it's not fun, you don't gleefully trip down your front stairs every morning and say, TEEE, I'm gonna drive my Camry. It's not that kind of a car. You don't get giddy like you would if you were climbing into a Ferrari, for example. Or an 87 Buick Electra. It has to be American made. They make them in Georgetown, Kentucky.

Okay then. They're American made. Alright, you got a sale then. Okay. Alright, thanks. We'll sign you right out. Reed, we'll try to be in our best behavior. At least for the next couple of weeks.

I know. See you. Bye. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. best behavior. See you in the next couple of weeks. Bye now. See ya. Bye bye. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Tomiko Whitaker from Okumus, Michigan. Tomiko? Tomiko. Tomiko. It's like a meek-o but with a T. It's T isn't Tom. Yeah. O-M-I-K-O. Tomiko. Tomiko. I've got it. Okay. And where are you from?

I'm from Okemos, Michigan. O-K-I-M-U-S? O-K-E-M-O-S. E-M-O-S. Boy, you've got some interesting little spelling tests here for us. Both of which, I might add, we failed. I'm not working on Michigan. That would be M-I. M- it. We failed. I'm not working on Michigan.

That would be MI. Tomiko. Yes. So what's up? I have a problem with my, uh, 1991 Honda Civic. I bought the car used about two years ago and I took the car for a test drive. And we, we, we had the air conditioning, air conditioning on and it was on full, full at the number four, no problem at all. I got the car about three days later

Get in the car. I turn the air conditioning on and the sunflower fleets just start attacking me on just the end vent Not the middle just the end really though. I thought it was like, you know, it's a new car thing You know, they put this stuff in here because it's like, you know, you bought a new car or's a new car thing you know they put the stuff in here because you know you bought a new car whatever a used car. Oh it's like throwing rice at a wedding you mean. Right exactly, exactly. So I said okay you know this will eventually go away. So it's going on through the summer and every time I turn the air conditioning on I get attacked. I was going to work I had my suit on I get to work I have sunflower seed fell on my hair. I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't know how to get them out. Now I originally thought that a That a inconsiderate salesman had inadvertently spilled a package of sunflower seeds down the defrost vent. No, but I will take that back

a creature, a rodent has found a sunflower in your neighborhood. A pack rat. And is storing, is storing the seeds in your ventilation system. But I commute from Ann Arbor to Oakham if they couldn't possibly be spotting the seeds. This happened the day you picked up the car. The day I picked up the car. I mean, let's look at it from the rodent's perspective. From the rodent's perspective, your car doesn't move.

Right. I mean, wherever the sunflower happens to be and it's dropping its seeds on the ground, or however the rodent is harvesting them, they find your car and they find a place to hide them, because if they don't hide them, other creatures will eat them. Let me give you a little bit of information. I don't need any more. Don't forget this is unencumbered by the thought process. There's no seeds in the sunflower seeds.

They're already eaten. Who ate them? I don't know. The rodents took them. They didn't eat them. They took them and they're storing them. Wait a minute. Now wait a second.

They're storing the shells? For two years this is happening? For two years? Yes, they're going in there, they're eating them and they're leaving the shells behind and the shells are light enough so that they can get blown around. They may have been in there for a long time. Okay. But somehow, but I guarantee you that a mouse or a mole or some other small rodent is storing these things in your ventilation system. This

happened two years ago when you bought the car and it's been happening consistently week after week, at least in the months that you use the air conditioner Air conditioning or the heat And is there not a sunflower growing in your neighborhood? Not that I know of Of course there's a sunflower growing in everybody's neighborhood Yeah you have to find that sunflower and put the following chemical on it Triox! Vegetation killer!

I gotta get these sunflower of our people like our well i thought they may not be in there and you may be in fact blowing them out okay you are blowing them out but you would you have to do is prevent more from getting in there okay these seeds have been stored in their long time ago that's on flowers long gone okay but next spring

i would i would have a problem canvas the area so to speak and find out who's planning to plant sunflowers and discourage them. Okay. Maybe at gunpoint. See you Tomiko. You've been very helpful. I'm sure. Bye bye. Wow. Good luck Tomiko. Don't move because more calls and the new puzzler are coming right up. I'm Danielle Kurtzleben. I cover the presidential campaign for NPR. So I go to rallies, a lot of them. I want to hear what the candidates say, talk to voters and find out what ideas are resonating.

And I put it all in my reporting to help you make sense of this election. It's why being there is important. To help support this work, sign up for NPR+. Go to plus dot NPR dot org. Famous people play fictional versions of themselves on screen all the time. Actors, athletes, even politicians have done it. But what makes it work when it works? Sometimes it's just a flat out unflattering take. Sometimes it's just specific. It's just weird.

We're talking about when celebrities portray themselves and we're breaking it down from the mundane to the inspired. Listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR. If you're hearing this, that means you haven't gone sponsor free with NPR+. That means you haven't gone sponsor free with NPR plus. Join us on the plus side for awesome podcast perks across more than 20 NPR podcasts, including bonus episodes, behind the scenes content, sponsor free listening and more. Learn more and sign up at plus dot NPR dot org and never hear this promo again. Famous people play fictional versions of themselves on screen all the time.

Actors, athletes, even politicians have done it. But what makes it work when it works? Sometimes it's just a flat out unflattering take. Sometimes it's just specific. It's just weird. We're talking about when celebrities portray themselves and we're breaking it down from the mundane to the inspired. Listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR.

["The New York Times"] Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us. Click and clack the Tappert Brothers and we're here to discuss, of course, what? Number one, cars. Yeah. Number two, car repair. And three, a quiz from my brother.

This is just... Who said this to us? Bill O'Hanlon said this to us. Everyone knows Vincent van Gogh right but Vincent van Gogh it turns out had lots of relatives Mm-hmm, and I just want to ask you What you think their names were for example he had a one famous relative who moved to Yugoslavia. What was his name? Yugoslavia, huh? Yeah, that's a hard one, I guess. That was you-go. Okay, how about the cousin who moved to Illinois?

Uh... Chica! How about the cousin who moved to Mexico? Mexico? Amigo. Amigo! That's it, you're getting it now! His one.

There was a nephew that drove a stagecoach. Fargo. Fargo. coach fargo wills black and the and a couple of easy ones here the art who was the ballroom dancer ballroom dancer tango and i'll leave it with this one

the uncle who became and ornithologist in florida flamingo an ornithologist in Florida. Flamingo. Without a Florida you know it. Flamingo. That was it, huh? That was the best. You never know, you know, people think of only Vincent, but he had lots of very famous relatives. I do like Chicago

All right, here's the new puzzler I want you to listen up carefully because because if you have any hope of remembering this for next week Yeah, don't forget to throw numbers in will you see like last week was half of the headlight was Over you throw numbers in man, and they stick man. There are no numbers in this one. Okay, here it is in a nutshell. Everyone knows that Wait, a whole nutshell? How about half a nutshell? Everyone knows that from the planet Earth, the moon and the sun appear to be about the same size. I mean, even though we know they're not the same size, the casual observer, from our vantage point, they're the same size. So the casual observer. They're not. From our, from our vantage point, they're the same size. Yeah.

Right. Hence we can get things like eclipses. By the way, this was, who sent this in? Tony Coley from Raleigh, North Carolina. Anyway, where was I? I got lost already. That's why we have eclipses. That's why you can have eclipses.

I mean, the moon can go between us and the sun and what? Block out the sun. walk out the whole thing It didn't appear to be the same size It wouldn't be able we wouldn't be able to have an eclipse like this short rather unique isn't it now knowing this you can take for example a The tip of your finger all this and at arm's length you can close one eye Yeah, okay

And you can block out the Sun with your fingernail with you with you with the tip of your length, you can close one eye. Yeah. Okay. And you can block out the sun. With your fingernail. With your, with the tip of your index finger, you can, not that finger. No, no, the other. You can block out the sun. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So at arm's length, you can do this. I wouldn't try this necessarily, but take my word for it. Because if you, if you do this, according to Tony, your mother will go blind. If you look at the sun like this. Right. Because if you, if you do this, according to Tony, your mother will go blind. If you look at the sun like this.

Right. However, you go out at night and you hold that same finger up in front of the moon and close one eye and you can't block out the moon. Okay. You can block out the sun with that finger, yeah, but you can't block out the moon. And the question very simply is how come is this?

You got it? Wow. If you think you know the answer, send that answer to puzzler tower, car talk plaza, box 3,500 Harvard square, Cambridge, our fair city, ma zero two, two, three, eight, or you can email us your answer from Cartalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Cartalk section and if we choose your correct answer at random as the winner next week and you catch us, you too can be the proud owner of a second Best of Cartalk CD or tape which is great for leveling those uneven table legs. Hey, do you know what time

it is? Ah, time to apologize to Chrysler? No, no. It's time to play Stump the Chumps! Every few weeks in accordance with our probation agreement with the FCC and Redunt, our associate producer Ken Babyface Rogers contacts a car talk caller from a previous show to see if the advice we gave was any good. And then, of course, we just apologize and hang up if you're going with the show. So who's this week's chump stumper?

This week's contestant is Bob from Gig Harbor, Washington. Actually, Bob was on our show just a few weeks ago and just after he ran into a little sartorial trouble i guess this music means either we're going back in time to hear some of bob's call i'm finally heading to the big automotive recycling center in the sky gee i hope it's just that tape of bob just that tape of Bob. Anyway Bob. What's up Bob? I got an 88 sable. Yeah. It sucked a sock down the intake manifold. Whoa whoa whoa. I was working on it and I was replacing an injector so I had the part of the manifold off. I put a sock in there so I wouldn't drop anything into the and then you forgot It was there

Put it together started it up and I got about a mile. I got to the freeway Died a very violent death sure it did Boy oh boy, what what did you, you married? Well for now. For now? It's her car actually. Oh, that's even better. Does she know what happened?

No, I think so. You just think so. I worked on it and now it doesn't work. Well with any luck, Bob's wife would be too busy with him to come after us for ruining her car. Us? Bob was the knucklehead who left the sock in the intake manifold. We're in the clear on this. I'm not so sure. We were the ones who told him to just start it up and let it run and see what happened, remember? No, we didn't tell him that, did we? And we predicted that if he was lucky,

and if he had led a good, clean life, his wife's car would just burn up the sock and after a few minutes it would start to run just perfectly. Or it would seize, he'd wreck the engine and the marriage all at once. Alright, let's bring him on. Bob, are you there? Hello? Bob, you are there.

Bob. And you're speaking to us. Yes. Did you have any trouble finding a new place to live? Um, well I could tow my car somewhere and live in it. Uh oh. No, no. All right, before you give us the whole sad story, we have to make sure that the other

seven listeners know that my brother and I have had no prior knowledge of your answer that you're about to give us here on Stump the Chums. Is that correct? That's correct. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, by now it's probably pretty clear to Bob that you and I have give us here on Stump the Chums. Is that correct? That's correct. Yeah, okay. Yeah, by now it's probably pretty clear to Bob that you and I have no prior knowledge of anything really. All right, did you actually just start it up

and let it run? I put it together and started it up and let it run. And? Well, at start it ran terrible and I had to restart it several times and after a couple minutes it started running better. Yay! Until when?

Wait a minute. Oh no. We've probably put 500 miles on the car now and it seems to be running better than ever. Better than ever? Maybe we've got a new additive. Yes. A technique. Exactly. Add some suck! better than ever maybe we've got a new a new additive yes technique exactly add some suck you know how they say add some punch to your right put a tiger in your

tank I love it so yeah wow if so this engine ingested an entire sock. I was surprised. I have emissions testing coming up in about two months. Oh, I see if we can bribe somebody on that one. You're low on your hydrocopters, but you're a little high on your cotton. The cotton output. Right, and polyester's a little high too. Well, Bob, I can't tell you how happy I am for the three of us.

Wow. I'm happy too. So you've learned this lesson. You would have learned the lesson no better had you ruined the engine. Sure. True, I will never do this again. You'll never do this again.

You've learned the lesson. You suffered the trauma. You've suffered everything and now the lesson is embedded in your brain, but you didn't have the misfortune of wrecking the engine. Yeah. Which would have done no better job of embedding it in your brain

than your wife would have done with a two by four. I mean, I remember standing in a puddle of oil once because I was pouring it in the top and it was pouring out the bottom because I forgot to put the drain plug back in. Boy, five quarts of oil makes a big, big puddle. It's like the size of Lake Erie. Lake Erie. Isn't it? Especially when there's five people standing around laughing at you. Oh yeah, it gets bigger by the second. Well, Bob, I'm very happy for you, I really am.

Good luck, man. Hey, thanks a lot. Thanks for playing Stump the Chumps. See ya, Bob. Bye bye. Bye. Well, you've wasted another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk.

Our esteemed producer has dug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion Punkin lips Berman our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken babyface Rogers Our assistant producer is Katherine cathode ray our engineer is Karen given and our technical advisor is John Bugsy milk carton man Lawler Jeez, that's him boy gets gets a rough treatment every once in while. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot. Our director of staff pay increases is Xavier Breath.

Our staff butler from the Car Talk Bombay division is Mahatma Coat. The leader of the former Peugeot dealers of American Support Group is Eustace L. Lemons. Our marriage counselor is Marion Haste. And the manager of our weekly shrimp buffet is Sheldon Devane. The curator of Tom's Car Collection is Rex Galore. Our engine cooling systems manager is Jean-Claude Erdem. Our director of cold weather starting is Martina Never Turnover. And our manager of automotive accessories is Francis Ford Cupholder.

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