The Best of Car Talk - #2481: That Stupid Little Book!

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Rebecca is a recent college grad living at home and getting financial assistance from Dad who's only request is that she jot down absolutely every bit of data having to do with her car in what 'Becca calls a 'stupid little book'. You could cut the family tension with a torch, eh?! Should be fun on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hey, if you enjoy the best of CarTalk Podcasts, you should try out NPR+. With NPR+, you'll get access to the CarTalk Archives and other perks across more than 20 of NPR's most popular podcasts. Give a little and get a lot in return. Good deal, huh? Visit plus.npr.org. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us clicking clack to tap it brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Sweetness and Light here at Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. And we're broadcasting this week from the department of sweetness and light here at Car Talk Plaza. Ooh.

Yes, yes, yes. We're just basking in the glow of last week's, uh, Valentine show in, in which you heard, if you were listening, me and my brother bringing hearts together. Yes. Resolving longstanding conflicts. Yes.

And rekindling the flames of love in many of our listeners' hearts. When the moon hits you eye! I have to admit, it was a lot of fun doing a whole show on nothing but relationship problems, better than transmission problems, and we should do this again next Valentine's Day. Well, there's one thing that troubles me just a little bit. What's that? Well, right after the show, evidently NPR got a call for a new underwriter.

Oh, good. The American Association of Divorce Lawyers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. They were very eager to be associated with us. Really? Yeah, a little bit too much, I'm worried. You think they think we're drumming up business? I don't know.

Well, we will go back to cars, something that we know a little bit. A little bit, Almost as much as... And if somebody wanted to call us with a car question or a comment, what number would he or she call? No one said they didn't say what number would they call, because they is plural, someone is singular, and I'm sick and tired of advertisers not knowing this.

They know it. They're trying to be politically correct and not offend people, and in doing so, they have reinvented English grammar. Are we gonna allow them to do that? Alternatively, you could say, if there were persons that wanted to call us, they could call 1-800-332-9287. They could call. But the real question is, do you wanna correct it,

or are we gonna allow the people who want to change the grammar to change it? I refuse to allow the ruffians to change the grammar. I'm for you, man. I'm voting for you. For president. I ain't running. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hi there, this is Steve from Seattle. Hey, Steve. What's going on, man? Well, I should preempt this story by telling you that I think it's going to end with bad news and you're going to tell me I have to buy a new vehicle and also this, this is a major confluence of bad luck, bad timing and bad judgment. Oh really?

Especially bad judgment. Oh yeah? Well, let's hear it. I can't wait. I love stories of woe and intrigue. You brighten my day. Mostly woe. Anyway, I have a 67 Ford pickup truck that I was going to sell

last weekend and I stuck it in the paper for a thousand bucks and just before the weekend rolls around the brakes start getting real mushy on me. So being a nice guy, take it down to a major chain store, something to have having to do with the golden touch and they put the golden touch on it. They said we can replace these six things, 850 bucks. And looks like that front end could use a look at too. So I got the hell out of there as quick as I could. On the way home, I stopped and bought a master cylinder and brake shoes and did as much as I could Saturday,

but I only got the brake shoes on, not the master cylinder. The next part of the story, Sunday morning, I'm doing dishes at 1130 and I hear a big thud and a crash and my cats are standing there with their hair on and looking at staring at the window so I knew something bad had happened. And did I tell you my driveway is a big hill? Oh, you had it up on jack stands? No, actually I had it in my garage on the flat part at the top of the driveway. Oh, okay.

And it spontaneously rolled down the driveway and careened over a little retaining wall and into my neighbor's carport. Oh. And this isn't even the good part yet. Ha ha ha. So I... Nobody got hurt though. Nobody got hurt. So it's funny.

It is funny. Yeah. The neighbors who own the house, who my truck just crashed into our all gathered on my driveway looking at the truck in the carport me and uh... they're they're looking to be saying something in their native tongue and i can't tell what it is it has some i think it will continue to like probably dope someone could you tell us that that wasn't was not good

i could tell i could tell was not they didn't seem happy for him to see if you don't have to speak the language to understand that you know and i said more on it yeah right there uh... anyway so i i call a tow truck in uh... he comes and says all right mac where you want me to what shop you want me to take this to so i said well you know that's a good time i think all about it you know right i think they know i i can do this myself he just leave it here so that it's raining and cold out i don't want to do more work on the brakes with my feet sticking out in the street so i uh... i think i

can put it back in my garage and back it up the driveway but uh... i'm scared because the breaks or something wrong with the brakes so i drive it up and down the street a couple times and i i i give it a little test run and i stop in there will wish you but the things stops okay emboldened by this experience i idea back the truck up the driveway as fast as I can because I don't want it to stall out and crash.

Oh, I can see it all now. Oh no. Does the back of the garage have something to do with this now? Yeah, a loud sound in the back of my garage, yeah. Right through. Well, not right through. No, it's up against the dirt wall, so it just smashed into it.

Yeah. Anyway. So. Does the expression cut your losses? It's up against the dirt wall, so it just it just smashed into it. Yeah anyway Cut your losses Well this is this is the bad this is the major bad judgment part I think sitting on the street a day before that and a guy offered me I think $800 for it, and you said no I can get a thousand oh yeah I can get a thousand so I yeah, I can get a thousand. So I'm down two garages and a truck now.

And the thing is sitting in my garage where a tow truck can't get to it. And I gotta have a truck so I can get materials because my next door neighbor's gonna let me repair his carport for him. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, oh, they're nice. They're very nice folks. Well, I mean, you might make a friend out of this.

And this is the most contact I've had with them since they moved in. Yeah, see, what a way to make a new friend. And I love them now. And I'm sure they love you too. Roll your car right down the street into the carport and you make a friend forever well had it gone straight down the driveway across the street in front of my house it would have smashed directly into the uh...

brand-new catalact that my neighbor has parked on the street that that he happened to be working on at the time also there is a silver lining to the soul story that the other day it's it's actually turned out pretty good considering what could happen but anyway so that that was uh... sunday, so I put a new master cylinder on it and I went to my coworkers who are all electrical engineers and asked them, well, what's the best way to bleed brakes? Yeah.

So I did that and I pumped on the brakes and they seemed solid and I pumped the brakes the next day and there's absolutely no brakes at all. So you bled the brakes as they told you to do. Right. In the manner in which they told you to bleed them. And you had a good pedal? I had a good pedal initially. Yeah.

Did you bleed each one of the four wheels? You open the bleeders at the wheels? Did you have an assistant? No, I used a little one-man bleeding thing. It's a little one-way valve that goes on there. Oh, okay. So you bought one of those little things, a little check valve. Yeah, the cheap one, of course. Right. But they don't work. It's a little one-man bleeding thing. It's a little one-way valve that goes on there. Oh, okay. So you bought one of those little things, a little check valve. Yeah, the cheap one, of course, right.

But they don't work. It's a check valve. But they don't work that well. Evidently. I don't trust them. Yeah, I don't trust them either. You need an assistant. Yeah, it's very simple.

Go to the guy whose carport you crushed. All right. Ask him if he's got a half an hour to help you. All right. And stick him in the car and ask him to pump the know, once or twice and hold pressure on it. And you go to the right rear wheel and you open that bleeder. Right. And when you, when you do that, fluid and air will come out. Now you've probably introduced a lot of air into the system.

Is that right? Okay. Yeah. Well, either, either by putting the master cylinder in or by this faulty little gadget that you use, but you want to go around and do each one of the wheels again, several times. And I think, and then you can also bleed it at the master cylinder by cracking open the line and then you want to go around and do each one of the wheels again, several times. And then you can also bleed it at the master cylinder by cracking open the line at the

master, doing the same thing. He pumps the pedal, you open the line, you close it, he does it, you open the line and that. But you've got to do all the wheels because somewhere between the master cylinder and the wheels you have air trapped. Well, I'm a believer in that old adage now about the cheap man spending the most. Oh yeah. This is a world-class case of that. And isn't it sad you didn't take the 800 bucks? On the other hand this guy who bought the truck would have bought it for 800 bucks and would have had these problems that

now at least you have. Yeah and he would have come back demanding his money back so. You mean he'd come back had he had he had he lived through the accident and if he hadn't lived his heirs would be after count your blessing Steve the best this is the best thing that could have happened to you I think so too I mean you learned how to do brakes you learned how to bleed brakes you're gonna learn how to rebuild a carport you met a neighbor across the street this is great great. This is great! Life is good. I'm so happy this happened. This is good. Life is good, isn't it Steve? It's wonderful. It's great. Well, thank you. You've brightened up my day, Steve. Glad I could help out. Thanks for calling. It's been

a kick talking to you guys. Bye. Bye bye. There are weekends like that, huh? Oh, yeah. But especially when you have that... If only I had sold it for 800 bucks. I know, but you can never... It's always hard to know. You can never look back. No. Hey, hey, the puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend,

or receive money internationally and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the WISE app today or visit wise.com, T's and C's apply. As election day approaches, NPRs consider this podcast is zooming in on six states that could determine who wins the White House. Georgia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Michigan, Arizona, and Pennsylvania. We'll ask voters in these swing states what matters to them and which way they want the country to go. Follow along with new episodes this week on the Consider This podcast from NPR. Democrats used to take Michigan for granted.

Then the state helped carry Donald Trump to the White House. All this week, NPR's Consider This Podcast is talking to Michigan voters about how issues like the war in Gaza could shape the 2024 race. There needs to be a policy change, not just a change at the top of the ticket. What's on voters' minds in Michigan this week on the Consider This Podcast from NPR. Hey there, it's Ian and Mike. And on the How to Do Everything podcast from the team at Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, we will answer any question you have, no matter how ridiculous.

Like maybe you want to get a haircut in space and you're not sure how. Astronaut Frank Rubio has had a haircut in space. We plan for everything, right? And so it's not a pretty haircut for sure, but it's functional. Listen to the How to Do Everything podcast from NPR. Talking about looking back. Do I remember the puzzler?

No. You don't? Give me a hint. It was a Valentine's Day puzzler. It was? Well, it's kind of. Had to do with candy. Where'd you buy your wife for Valentine's Day anyway?

I don't remember. But I, it did make a whistling noise as it went flying by my head. That's all I remember. All right, here it is. Just tell me, what'd they miss? Are they trying to miss? I don't think so.

Is it just a warning shot across your bow? Oh no, this is... No, there was nothing... There was no warning element to this. They're really going for the head. Oh yeah. They're really going for the head. She was head hunting.

All right, here's the puzzler from last week. I had to get my wife a present and I thought I'd do something a little different this time instead of the shop vac. For years now, she's been asking for a string of black pearls. They're very rare and the only place they're found, I discovered, is in the waters off the Seychelles. Those are the islands in the Indian Ocean where they film the, what do they call that thing? Jaws.

No, no, no, no. The latest edition of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. That's the only reason I knew about it. Anyway, these black pearls are brought up from the depths by divers who go down 200 feet with knives clenched in their teeth, a la Gilbert Rowland. Whoever he is. And they bring up the pearls, because they also get the bends, so they do go through a few divers, you know, weeks later. Doesn't matter. The pearls are worth it.

Absolutely. Anyway, my wife asked for these pearls, and I said, jeez, they're a lot of money, so I proposed a little game. I got 50 of these black pearls, returnable of course, and I put them in a cigar box and I got 50 of these faux white pearls, the ones that I already bought for her. And I put them into another cigar box and I tell her, look, I'm going to put these cigar boxes in front of you and you'll be blindfolded and you will instruct me to open one or the other, either A or two, and you will pick a pearl out. If it's a black one, you get to keep the highly prized black mumbo pearls. And if it's a white one, you get the cheap pearls.

So it's obvious since there are 50 of each, her chances are what? 50-50. 50-50. And she can mix them up and do whatever she wants but she's to us to remain blindfolded. And then pick one pearl. And then she tells me to open a box. And she picks a pearl. She reaches in and picks a pearl out of the ones that are in there. And the question is very simply, is there any way that she can mix up these pearls to improve her chances beyond 50-50? She should have put that, oh wow! Yes!

Well you wouldn't, I mean at first blush you, at first blush, you wouldn't think so. You wouldn't think so. Because she can mix them all up. She can do anything she wants. She can do anything she wants with the pearls. She has to use all the pearls. Yeah. Okay, and she has to put them in these two boxes.

Yeah. Okay. Now, clearly they're already 50 in one box and 50 in another. And of course, knowing the little I do about probability, I know that her chances of getting a black one are one and two. Right. Okay. Can she improve those odds beyond 50-50? Yeah. And the answer is yes because she can take all the pearls except for one black one. Oh! And put them in box A. So she takes all the black pearls and dumps, except for one, except for one, and dumps them into the other box right and now in the in

the remaining box she has one black pearl so she should pick that box at random yeah she will certainly get a black pearl and if she picks from the other box her chances are still 50 50 right or pretty close to it pretty close to it yeah close to it so I think her chances now again of getting a black mumble pearl. Well I mean I'm going to have to do the arithmetic but I don't like the answer. Here's what I would have done. I would have taken one black one and put it in the white box and one white one and put

it in the black box. Oh, I don't think so. Oh! I don't think so. I like it, I like it! I think you got, I don't, never mind what What I think I am going to do the arithmetic on that one Tonight when I do there, but I think my method works better. We'll see next we'll get plenty of mail on this one I guarantee oh no, I don't think so next week. You will come a hat in hand

Don't forget the box when she puts one pearl in the one box. Yeah. Yeah, that's a hundred percent That's a that's a winner and the chances of 50-50 She's gonna pick that box because she's gonna pick the box at random. Mm-hmm. Yeah Well, it's not clear to me that it's that clear, but I'll figure it out. I it's clear to me, but no, it's good I like it. I like anyway, do we have a winner? Sure based on current based on current thinking Brenda Barlett Do we have a winner? Sure! Based on current thinking. Based on current thinking, Brenda Barlett, Barlett.

Barlett. From Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania. And for having her correct answer chosen at random as the winner this week, Brenda will get a necklace of genuine black pearls. Dream on! Are you kidding me? But you will get something almost as valuable the new car talk sistine wrench Oh t-shirt and this is a work of art. It is indeed well anybody Brenda

You're gonna get one of them if we ever think I'm sending it out who knows if you don't get it in a month or two tough No, no, you'll get it Congratulations Brenda. Anyway, we have a new puzzler automotive in nature I might add. Coming up during the second half of Car Talk. So don't take that nap yet. In the meantime, if you'd like to call us,

our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Mary calling from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Mary? Yes. Just plain old Mary, huh? Yeah, plain old Mary. Not with an I or anything. Boy, that's a good name. Good Irish name, yeah? Yeah, plain old Mary. Not with an I or anything.

Boy, that's a good name. Good Irish name, yeah. Are you Irish? Oh, God, yeah. Mary Kathleen. Mary Kathleen. Mary Kathleen. I'll take you home again, Kathleen. So anyway, Mary, what's up?

Well, I have an 88 colt vista. Oh Yeah It's been an interesting Automobile to own. Yes, of course. I know I know now without Talking to you for another second that you're a refined highly intelligent human being. Well, thank you very much. You're broke Right on because I've been putting it all into the car. But I'm an archaeologist. Really?

Yeah. You work in that area? Oh yeah. Yeah, right up in the Four Corners area. Ooh. And this is, yeah, I know, it's beautiful. Ooh, I can just see you now in Chinle Wash. Yeah, yeah.

But this is a problem, because the site that I'm working on come April is 50 miles from the middle of nowhere Which is a town that's not on the maps of New Mexico But the cold Vista is never gonna make it there The main problem I'm having is this weird tick It it happens when I started up first thing in the morning and if I accelerate but it's only when the car idles. Aha! Aha! That's a very important point. And you don't have to be moving to hear the tick. No. Is this really simple?

Should I have known about this? And as soon as you step on the gas? It goes. Goes away. Right. Tell me I don't need to buy any timing belt no I don't need to new buy a new timing belt no oh good no I don't think so buy a new engine well I mean you you could obviously there there are some terrible things that it could be but I don't think it's something terrible at all really you could have a small exhaust leak from one of the emission control devices under the hood. There's a couple of pipes that run to the catalytic converter, to a pulse air system

that could be causing the problem. And that would tend to go away when you revved it because the pulses would just come faster and you wouldn't be able to hear them. So at idle you're getting... Exactly. it because the pulses would just come faster and you wouldn't be able to hear them. So at idle you're getting ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp need. And the dogs barking in the back, exactly. Right, the coyotes howling, oh! But I think, I think that what you have, you're gonna love this answer, Mary. We used this as a puzzler many years ago. We did? Did you? Yeah. It wasn't an 80, 88 Colt Vista, it was a 72 Fiat. Oh! I remember the guy had come in for a valve adjustment, he said he had done it himself,

and he did everything right by the book and the valves were still noisy and he comes into the shop and sure enough, he starts the thing up and tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. So I take the thing apart and I do a valve adjustment convinced that this bozo had done it wrong. And I confidently put it back together and I started up and the same tick is there.

And what it turned out to be was a loose spark plug. Yeah. Yeah. One of the spark plugs was loose, allowing enough exhaust to escape. And it sounds just like a valve that's out of adjustment. And it'll make a very regular tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And sometimes it will change just enough.

You'll miss a tick or two. OK. Because depending on how it's moved, the spark plug. But if you run the engine and look at the spark plugs you will you'll see them you'll see the one of them moving okay and just while it's making the noise just move touch the spark plug wire and the ticking will stop can you get a shock oh no you won't you won't get a shock and then you can take out your spark plug wrench and tighten them up and your ticking days

will be over oh good on the other hand On the other hand. On the other hand. On the other hand. You could need an engine. You could. I didn't want to hear that. It won't be that bad. I mean you could for example, one of the things you could need is an oil pump. Oh no. It could be that you're not developing enough oil pressure and that's why you're getting the ticker ticker ticker tickers. Oh jeezas and then when you step on the gas you build up the oil pressure and it goes away. But it's more tick tick tick as opposed to it isn't. No no no no no no no. No it doesn't sound like chicken. The chicken sound is bad. Oh okay. If it has any resemblance to the first sound that my brother made which is is the psst psst kind of sound. That's good. That would be the easiest thing to fix. I'm telling you, Mary, it's a loose spark plug. Yeah, that would be, that's the easiest thing to fix, actually. Okay.

What we need to do now, if this is correct, then when you go back to the site, we need a picture of you at Mesa Verde. Okay. Okay? Okay, I can do that if I actually make it there. You in the Colt Vista and the donkey. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Good luck. I'll be sure to send you one. All right. Leave a boyfriend out of this. Okay. Okay.

Thanks, Barry. See you later. Thanks very much. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Be sure to stick around for more calls and the new puzzler coming right up. One year ago, the event that changed a region. Heavily armed Palestinian militants in Gaza flew across the border.

The October 7th Hamas attacks on Israel. Israeli ground troops have entered northern Gaza. How the war unfolded and where it could be headed. Pagers carried by Hezboula members began exploding in cars. Listen to a special episode of the podcast State of the World from NPR. What do you think are the greatest things to come out of your city? Well, get ready to defend your argument because it's Been a Minute is bringing the Smackdown, a debate series to cities all across the country. Serena Williams versus Muhammad Ali,

the peanuts versus Prince. Listen to Smackdowns you never saw coming on the It's Been a Minute podcast. Once again, we find ourselves in an unprecedented election. And with all that's happening in the lead up to the big day, a weekly podcast just won't cut it. Get a better grasp of where we stand as a nation every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast. Here our seasoned reporters dig into the issues that are shaping voters' decisions and understand how the latest updates play into the bigger picture. The NPR Politics Podcast. Listen on Spotify. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Fresh air? Up first. NPR News Now. Planet Money.

Ted Radio Hour. ThruLine. The NPR Politics Podcast. Code Switch. Embedded. Books We Love. Wildcard. Are just some of the podcasts you can enjoy sponsor- with NPR plus get all sorts of perks across more than 20 podcasts with the Bundle option learn more at plus dot NPR dot org Hi, we're back to listen to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, clicking clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and much needed research. This is a very, very short letter, but you know how some things just get you? Just get you up. But you know how some things just get just get I Mean the thing is that It's all anti-climactic because the whole key comes in the first sentence And I'm gonna just give it to you and you are gonna you are gonna say my god

Dear clear cnc it has been my observation over the years that if you take a carburetor or a Volkswagen engine apart and put it together enough times you will eventually have two of them Isn't it the truth? You'll have enough pieces left over to make another whole one. Usually you're short just one little piece. One little piece, but you go get a rebuild kit and you got the second one all done. I mean what a brilliant observation. I'm sure that you have observed the same phenomenon. Oh, kidding?

Who is this by the way Dave Taylor? I don't know where David's from it came by email Since you must spend several hours a day in the library reading all available automotive literature You should be able to answer my questions one Is there anything in the literature which corroborates my empirical observation and two if so are there? Statistics which address the question of how many times various automotive parts for example a carburetor or automatic transmission etc must be disassembled and reassembled before there are enough parts to make the two of them this has been a concern of mine for quite some

time thanks Dave Taylor Oh, and my little junk drawers in my toolbox. I have enough pieces. You make two cars. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, a fleet of cars. Just missing the crankshafts, I think. It is true. If you take a carburetor apart and put it together enough times, you will eventually

have two of them. Well, that's a classic. A classic. Well, it segues classic, a classic. Well, segues perfectly into the new puzzler. Does it? Because the new puzzler is automotive in nature. It's automotive in nature and it happens. I hope it doesn't give away the answer.

No, it happened at the shop one day. We were sitting around, we have our monthly meetings at the shop, our minsoo meetings. Yeah, what's minsoo? men in need of softer underwear, I mean, you bend over a hot engine all day, man. You, you begin to shave. So we have these meetings from time to time. And at the end of one of the meetings, one of the guys says, Jesus, I have an observation.

He said, you know, new cars are moving toward, uh, lower maintenance. Yeah. He said, and it strikes me that newer cars should require spark plug replacements more often than older cars. And I said, huh? Exactly what I said, why?

And he explained it to me. And I said, wow, jeez, you could, you could be right. You could be a moron. You could be right. Yeah. And what did he explain to me that would explain why you would need to replace your spark plugs more often now Oh, that's a question.

than in cars of yesteryear. Thought it was gonna be a true false thing. No, and where can we get softer on the way? So when he first posed the question, I said, ah, and then when he explained it, I said, oh yeah, well, what's his point? So if you think you know the answer, send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500,

Harvard Square, Cambridge, Allifair City, MA 02238, or you can email us your answer from car talk calm By clicking on the talk to car talk section and doing the appropriate things with your keyboard Yeah, and if we choose your correct answer at random the data data data data and you catch us We'll send you a brand new car talk Sistine wrench t-shirt by the way Not it doesn't have anything to do with this, but it reminded me because Sistine Sistine Chapel Michelangelo I'm changing my name I've just Rafael Sabatini my Nazi close. I have I have informed my family and they have now begun calling me

Dante Geez, I've changed my name to Dante. Yeah, I don't know. I just came to me one day that I should be Dante That day. Yeah, that's good. It came to me from my otherworld mentor. Do I ever told you about him? No Well one day I'm sitting doing my my meditation my Zazen And I come out of a trance like state and without knowing anything I mean I've been thinking not you know this meditation at Cafe Paradiso. I was at my office I Came out of a trance like state in which in which I was nothing I had been reduced to nothingness and all of a sudden I spoke words I

Spoke the following words. Oh my god. Clotul. No, no, no. I think this is a person's name. Omeon Aspiavidos. And I said to myself, I said out loud, what the hell is that? It just came out of me. He's the first cousin of slow me down Milosevic. Omeon Aspiavidos. I have no idea what that means. Oh, he's going to be a Greek. Aspiavidos.

Sounds like Greek. Sounds like a Greek. But in any event, Omeon told me that I'm Dante. I got it! He's Harry the Greek. Harry the Greek. That could be. Could be.

What are the odds of that being right? Jeez. Harry the Greek. That could be. Could be. What are the odds of that being right? So if anyone knows a who Omeon Aspiavidos is or was or whether or not my name should be Dante let me know. Dante it is man. Send a mail to Omeon Aspiavidos care of car talk blocks. A.K.A. Dante. Jeez, what a cross I have to bear. If you'd like to call us, our number's 1-800. How do I get involved in this? 3-3-2. Mom! 9-2-8-7.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Rebecca. Rebecca. Where are you from, Rebecca? I am from Fredericksburg, Virginia. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so what's up?

OK, I'm having, I guess, Virginia. Oh really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so what's up? Okay, I'm having, I guess, part a car problem, but mostly a father problem. Oh, geez. So I'm kind of calling for your help and mostly for you to exonerate me of my guilt toward him. Really? Okay, well let's see, let's hear the facts first. Anything you say could be prejudicial, so just give us bare facts.

I am being prejudicial, I'll say that in the facts. Anything you say could be prejudicial. So just give us bare facts. I am being prejudicial My father is a very To say it nicely, I guess compulsive man. I call it a prejudicial statement Yeah, that's one strike against and how does this come pulsive nest manifest itself? Well, it manifests itself in a lot of ways some in good ways and some that are extremely excruciatingly annoying One of the good ways is when it comes to cars He keeps the cars in the family up to tip-top shape

Everything is done perfectly nothing ever goes without an oil change. You know anything that needs to be done. He's on it good That's good. You know Every house needs one like that. He's a person like that. Yeah. Okay. Well, he takes it to a bit of an extreme, though. At least for me, because I don't share, I guess, as much as I should in his compulsiveness. But I've kind of reaped the benefits up until now, but I just graduated from college, and

I'm kind of moving on, and I'm trying to figure out which strings to cut and which not to cut and the purse... Don't cut them money strings! The purse strings I don't want to cut but I want to cut other strings but what my father does is he keeps this stupid little book in the cars Yeah I can do that. That's fine. Yeah, but the other thing is every single time he gets gas. Oh Isn't that the pain in the butt? And he does the mileage right down to the tenth of a mile hundred hundredth of a mile for the mileage

Hundreds of a mile gallon how many gallons you put in how much it costs and where you got it Oh, where you got it, but the town that you got it in and where you got it. Oh, where you got it. The town that you got it in. Yeah. Okay. And I don't know why it pains me so much, but it really kills me to do this. Well, because you're not an

animal-retentive personality. That's why. And you're more of a free spirit. Huh? You were trying not to use that term. Yeah. Yeah. That's okay.

But my main problem is, is that the closest my father has come to disowning me has been when I don't fill in the little book. Wow. And I just got back from a trip to Atlanta where I'm going to be moving in two weeks and I got a job and everything. I came back and my dad said, first thing, first thing he said to me within five minutes, I see you didn't keep up the little book. Oh. And I said, you know what, Dad?

I made a conscious adult decision. Whoa! Rebecca! Wrong choice of words. Rebecca! Couldn't you just tough it out for two more weeks? What are you, nuts? I made a conscious adult decision,

and I can tell you, Dad, book this this! Well his response back was, well then I have just made a conscious adult decision. Oh yes he would. To not pay for anything else in the car again. And this week, this week the magic gash that usually appears, it hasn't appeared. Yeah and it won't. Well you did it and you have to be happy that you did. Well, I don't know about... There's no road back.

There's no road back. There is a road back. It's you. You are the road back. In other words, we are going to explain to him the irrationality of this behavior and he will then realize that he's been too demanding on you. Yes. He will continue to pay for all your repairs and whatever and you can enjoy the luxury of driving the car without his intervention. Yes. That it? How's that gonna happen?

You've got a chance Rebecca. Oh no. And you've made your position clear. I mean I'm sure I mean did it come to any any further words than that? No just no more gas. And that's okay I mean you don'm sure I mean did it come to any any further words than that no just no more gas And that's okay, I mean you don't mind right well No, daddy was doing the repairs to and paying for them. Yeah, so is he that's no longer gonna be happen You don't think so I don't I know of course not and you made your decision. You said I've made How old are you I'm 22 all right already That's it. Time to cut the ties. I just graduated a month ago, though.

Shouldn't this take a slower process? Did you major in art history? Economics. Oh, you don't have a job either then. I do have a job. You do have a job? Oh, then that's it. Well, Rebecca, I will do anything

to intercede on your behalf if you'll do me a favor and call my son, Louie, and give him advice on how to sever the ties. Tell him to move out! My brother just cut the ties and he's 27. Don't I get those five years? No, evidently not because your brother was a wuss. Your brother was willing to cow tow. Your brother was willing to bend to your father's wacky will and fill out the stupid little book. My brother was a biology major. He had a choice.

Well, that explains it. Yeah, see? Yeah. No, you're an independent individual, Rebecca. That's right. You are tough and you can do it. Yeah, and it's your choice. I can hear her whimpering now.

Look at my little kids. You're going to buy, I mean, in two weeks when you move to Atlanta, you're not going to send him bills for the gas. Yes, she was going to. Well, I thought it might happen. Yeah, sure. No, I think for your own mental health. Okay.

And in order to further your maturation process, I think you must buy your own gas. And you know this too because otherwise you would never have had the guts to respond to him the way you did when he said, Rebecca, you didn't fill out the little book. You could have said, you could have said, oh gee dad, I guess I forgot but I've got all the numbers right here in my head, let me just jot them down. You could have done that but no, you up tall yeah I think your father in his wisdom has maintained the book for the sole purpose of getting you to closer to independence okay he's got this all planned I think so I think he's made the

book a pain in the neck to the point that you will say daddy I want to be on my own and this this... This book is stupid! Daddy, huh? He's never heard that one before. Maybe I should try. Oh, he hasn't. Yeah. Hey, Rebecca.

Yes? Good for you. You did what you had to do. You're your own woman. Cut the ties. Yeah. So, cut the purse strings too? Oh, yeah.

Do you still have the little book? I was going to burn it. Does that mean I can burn it? No, mail me the book. I'll mail you the book. Remember the great... I will mail you the book. I need the book. I was gonna burn it. Does that mean I can burn it? No, mail me the book. I will mail you the book. I need the book. I will give it to you.

Benjamin Franklin's words. I will give it to you. There can be no freedom without responsibility. Oooh. Shhh. And you did it. Good for you. Okay.

See ya. Bye bye. Bye bye. Woo. Lighten up Whoo lighten up lighten up with you Well, you've wasted an otherwise perfectly good hour listening to car talk Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive not a slave to fashion Berman our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology Is Ken babyface Rogers our assistant producer is Katherine cathode ray our engineer is Karen and our technical advisor, who's back out in the spring 97 free lunch victory tour, is John Bugsy milk carton man Lawler.

Boy, it must be tough. What a tough life, huh? I spoke to him just yesterday. He said, I'm off to Florida tomorrow. He's got a big, big job to do down there. Yeah. Going to have lunch and dinner with BMW or somebody. I don't know who.

He's eating a BMW. He's eating an entire BMW. When I spoke to him, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our director of staff pay increases is Xavier Breath. Our staff butler from the Car Talk Bombay Division is Mahatma Kot, our Head of Used Car Purchasing

is Youll Be Puffin' It, our Marriage Counselor is Marion Haste, and the Manager of our Weekly Shrimp Cafe is Sheldon DeVane, the Curator of Tom's Car Collection is of course Rex Galore, our Director of Speed Bumps is Slow Me Down Milosevic, our director of listener support is Old Noah Fun Drive, our director of country music is Stan Byerman, our director of cold weather starting is Martina Never Turnover, and our manager of automotive accessories is Francis Ford Cup Holder. Our chief legal counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howe, Izzy Louis Dewey, known around the square as Uee Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening to Rick Lick and Clark the Tappin Brothers.

Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. If you want a cassette copy of this show, it's show number 8 and you can get it on the world wide web by clicking on the shameless commerce division of Cartog.com. All you can do is click on the link in the description and you'll be able to get a copy of this show. And if you want to get a copy of this show, you can get it on the world wide web by clicking on the link in the description. And if you want to get a copy of this show, you can get it on the world wide web by clicking on the link in the description. And if you want to get a copy of this show, you can get it on the world wide web by clicking

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Hey, it's Mike and Ian. We're the hosts of How to Do Everything from the team at Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Every week we take your questions and find someone much smarter than us to answer them. Questions like, how do I safely jump out of a moving vehicle? How do I dangerously jump out of a moving vehicle? We can't help you, but we will find someone who can. Listen to the How to Do Everything podcast from NPR.