The Best of Car Talk - #2501: Here, Kitty Kitty

Episode Date: January 4, 2025

Ed is in Hawaii 'living it up like Wayne Newton!' but there's trouble in paradise in the form of some cats who like to spray his car -and not with sunscreen. Click and Clack strongly consider making a housecall on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Center for the Study of the Mind of the Mechanic here at Car Talk Plaza. No, it's not just a mechanic. We have new insights and this is actually a study that took place in Italy but since we are both Italian Americans and auto mechanics I feel confident in applying the results willy-nilly whoever willy-nilly is to auto mechanics everywhere. This was published in the Italian psychology review, Risa Psicosomatica.

And here's the news. Are you ready for this? Yeah. 70% of Italian men and women interviewed confess to telling between five and ten lies every day. With the most common of all lies being, you ready for this? Tell me if this sounds familiar. Don't worry about it, it's all been taken care of. I don't think this applies to mechanics everywhere. I have to take issue with that.

Really? Yeah. I think it applies to Italians everywhere. Maybe. I mean, seven to ten every day? Well, here's the thing. 27% lied to cover up errors. That makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Yeah. Another 21% lied for the good of some other person.

For example, one of your guys leaves the drain plug loose on the oil pan. You're gonna lie to protect him, right? Of course. Otherwise, they'll put him up before a firing squad. Oh, your wife says, am I fat? And you're lying to protect your butt. Well, code of honor kind of stuff. And 42% said they lied to avoid conflicts.

That's pretty good. Yeah, like your wife says, am I fat? You see, so we got 42%, 27% from the other thing, 21%. What's that come up to? 90. 90. What about the other 10%? I guess they just lied for practice.

I love this study. Have you lied today? I lied today. No. I got a lot of catching up to do. I got 10 to go. we got a few lies in store my fat no I look fat to you no you're short short for your weight that's good that's pretty very comfortable. How do I look? Pretty good? Oh, yeah.

If you wanted to call us about your car, I have us lied to you about your car. Only nine to go. The number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Kate from Northwood, Ohio. Hi, Kate. Northwood, Ohio.

Yes. Have you lied today, Kate? Not yet. Not yet? No. Well, have you been lied to, do you think? Well, of course I have. Already? Today? I've talked to a man, I'm sure. Oooh, okay. What's the Italian? An Italian man, too, at that. Oh, what? I think it can be guaranteed then. Wow. Well, what's up, Kate? Wait, wait I got a little on the on the geo Physical plane here Northwood, Ohio Near what? Toledo right outside of Toledo Toledo. There's one of the most exciting towns in America

It really is it gets a bad rap, but it really is a fun town. No, it's not That was my life of the day. Nine more to go Casey. Actually, it's true because I don't lie much and that's why I'm constantly in conflict. Oh yeah. You should lie more. I could have said, oh Toledo, that's a nice town. I could have said that. You could have said something like, yes I've been there and even though I didn't find it particularly exciting, I know for most of the people there it must be pretty nice. Yeah, I could have said that and yet something about me... They call that tact.

You have no tact. I have no tact. No class. Very smooth. Yeah. And yet people do call me tacky. That you have. So Kate, what's on your mind? What do you want to discuss? I'm so glad I got a hold of you guys because I need you to restore my faith and mechanics and save my marriage here. Oh, cool. Oh, wow. I own a 940 turbovoval, 91, which I love the car, but for the last year and a half or so I've had this kind of phantom problem. I'd go out to start it, turns over, I'd wait for a few seconds, try it again, try it again, try it again, and it has almost always eventually started. So when you seconds, try it again, try it again, try it again, and it has almost always eventually started. So when you say you turn it over, you turn the key and it cranks, it goes wah wah wah

wah, but it doesn't fire up, it doesn't start. No, and eventually it will start. And my problem is my husband owns his own garage. I have taken it to him repeatedly. I have called him like when I've been doing this for two or three minutes, I'll pick up the phone garage i have taken it to him repeatedly i have called him like when i've been doing that for two or three minutes i'll pick up the phone that won't start and help fake you come running home the second but the key in it at start

and i think like you can do something about that why can't you figure out the problem he said if it's not broken i can't fix it i don't know what to do about it he's lying the that you get better and he had a good mechanic and the reason i can tell you can't fix it. I don't know what to do about it. He's lying. Listen to this. This gets better. He is a good mechanic. The reason I can tell he's a good mechanic is because he just recently sold his 30 foot boat and he's looking for a bigger one. So I know he's a good mechanic. Now how often did this non-starting condition happen for you? Randomly. Sometimes

it would be two or three days in a row. It wouldn't necessarily be first thing in the morning. It could be in the middle of the afternoon. I could have done it and turn the car off and gone out to a ten minutes later and it would have done it and then it would go for weeks and not do it. So and I try to think is it cold or is it hot? Is it damp out? Is it dry out? Is it? Good, good, good. There was just no pattern. No. Gas tank tank full gas tank empty radio on radio off well you have a scientific mind Kate I will say that oh thanks you tried to find correlations I did what we deal with you know I couldn't find a

thing well I mean it these intermittent problems are of course the most difficult to find because he's right. That if it's not doing it, when he looks at the car, then there's nothing he can find that's wrong because there isn't anything wrong. So now he's got to start deducing what might it be. And how much money you have. And whether it's boat payment time or not. Now your husband is in the ideal situation to start replacing stuff at random. And he has. He's done the distributor, we've done the starter, he did the coil, wires, plugs, tested it.

Every time he'd come home he'd have it tested to make sure it was getting spark. Has it ever not started and gotten spark? It's always getting spark. It appears that it's always getting spark. But your husband has never actually experienced the problem. No. Well, you have to do a binary search here. You have to discover if it's either fuel or spark.

Okay. And it could be both, but it's a million in one shot that it is both. Right. It's probably one or the other and you have to learn how to ascertain when it doesn't start if you have spark. So he has to rig up a device for you, even if it's this extra timing light. He can do this easily. So that when it doesn't start you can determine in an instant if the thing has spark all by yourself. If it has spark and it still doesn't start, then the problem is fuel. And there aren't many things that could be, and the thing that comes to mind first off

is the fuel pump relay. Okay. He may not have changed that already. Okay. But he should, because it's cheap and that's likely to solve the problem, and it's just the kind of thing that could be this intermittent. Oh, okay. Wow.

Yeah. I mean, I would change it. You have restored my faith in mankind and mechanic kind. Yeah, this is my first lie of the day. Wait a minute. Don't worry about it. It's all been taken care of. Right. That's always how it comes home. I think I found it some time. It'll work now. And if he doesn't figure it out, he just has to really start putting in stuff.

Okay. Yeah. And I would ask him to hook up a spare timing light so you can actually see if it's spark. Because if it's getting spark, the timing light will flash. Okay. So if you turn that key and the timing light doesn't flash, and he can mount that right in the front seat. Okay. Easily. Set it right on the dashboard So it flashes right in your eyes. Yeah, good luck Kate. Thanks very much. I know this is gonna work. Oh sure yeah Oh, yeah, it's all fixed no problem It's all been taken care of

Hi bye have fun in Toledo Three three two nine two eight seven, you're on Car Talk. Hello, this is Tom Elder from Bridgeport, West Virginia. Hey, Tom. Yes. Bridgeport, West Virginia. Yes, it's in West Virginia. Okay.

Is that where they make those big machines? Not that I'm aware of. No, they make those in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Huh? They make those in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Yeah, they're thinking of the biggie, Bridgeport, Connecticut. Yeah biggie bridgeport connect well i do that this is a little bridgeport right many people are going to watch the great bridge what's taking time well

and have a friend and him a car for a dollar and he wants to get started with car to drive back and forth school from connecticut the south carolina it is a nineteen eighty four g l ten luxury model are electric which still works

five-speed manual transmission with a hundred and forty six thousand miles off he tells me that this car is not broken and tell it has a hundred000 miles on it and is good for 400,000 miles. Who told you this? Your son? My son, yes. He's nuts. And he says the only thing wrong with it is the wheel wells are rusted out and he's got a guy that'll cut the rusted metal out and put new metal in for $250 and throw in a paint job for a total of $1,000.

I don't think the car is worth it and I wonder if I should buy my granddaughter a cellular phone when this thing breaks down while she's driving to South Carolina. I would. She has to make just the one trip or she's going to commute? Oh no, it should be back and forth, holiday, spring break, you know? Yeah, well your son is clearly wacko. That's what I thought! That's what I thought!

He must take after your wife, right? Yeah, he certainly can't take after you because you seem like a very sane guy. Although that laugh is a little suspect. What kind of life can they get out of this car? Is it worth putting $1,000 into? Well, I mean, if I had it, I wouldn't put $1,000 into cosmetic things like rust. I would put $1,000 into making sure the thing ran.

Yeah. Where is this car from originally? This happened up in Connecticut. So it's likely that this thing is all rusted to beat the band. Oh, probably, sure. I mean, a 13-year-old car that spent its entire life in the Northeast where we salt the roads heavily... Uh-huh.

...is apt to have the whole undercarriage like Swiss cheese. Uh-huh. You're going to have someone to really take a look underneath, and the first thing they're going to have to look at is whether or not the undercarriage is really rusted away. Yeah, because a dollar might have been too much to pay for the car. Maybe it's only worth like 65 cents. Maybe. And then you're going to have someone like, dude, check it out as though you were buying

a used car and see if the front end is hanging together, see if the engine is all right. I mean, there are all kinds of things that a good mechanic can tell just by testing and looking. But most importantly you want to make sure that the car has reasonably good structural integrity and the reason for that is if it's all rusted away she may not fall out, her butt may not fall out on the highway, but if she were to have an accident with it the car might disintegrate and not offer her much protection. So that's important. So even if you're wearing a seatbelt if the car crumbles when you get hit, the seatbelt isn't going to help you any. So that's what you want to make sure of. Okay. Yeah. I mean, what's your alternative? If you

didn't get this car, if he didn't get this car for her, what would she do if she couldn't get from Connecticut? Well, she would do the same thing she's been doing. Bumming a ride or flying back and forth Yeah, you know that and they go out and buy another car Yeah, what do you drive Tom? I drive an 89 Toyota Camry You're ready for a new car You want me to get my car to her? Your favorite granddaughter after all

car to her. No, why not? She is your favorite granddaughter after all. Yeah. No, I mean your son's basic premise is complete hogwash. Yeah. That these cars don't break in till a hundred thousand miles and you'll get 400,000 miles out of them. He's nutso. So you gotta have it completely checked out to see if the thing is really roadworthy and if it isn't then she's gonna have to continue to bum rides or fly back and forth. But if he persists... I don't recommend flying to anybody. Right, if he insists that she have this car obviously get the things checked out thoroughly. Get the cell phone for her and a handgun.

And I think she'll be all set. Good luck Tom. Alternatively give her the Camry and... Yeah, the Camry would be a good car for her. Buy yourself that Lexus you've been lusting after. See you later. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Hey, hey, the puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. Well the puzzler, as I'm sure you know, is back. The puzzler is back. Is on a mandatory unpaid suspension. So while we do not have a puzzle to answer this week, you can of course find one on our website cartalk.msn.com. Every week we post a puzzle there from the archive so those of you with absolutely no life whatsoever

that was in Chauvis something to do on the web other than check the ball scores again and again I mean they don't change once it says final score that's it's fine it's final yeah if you'd like to call us at numbers 1-800-332-9287 hello you're on car talk my name Kevin, and I live in Austin, Texas. Huh? What's that? I said my name is Kevin, and I live in Austin, Texas. I don't believe the Austin, Texas part. Oh, okay.

I believe the Austin part. I don't believe the Texas part. Kevin, huh? Yes. Isn't that a rather unusual name? You sound like a woman. I am a woman. And how, pray tell, did you wind't that a rather unusual name? You sound like a woman. I am a woman. And how, pray tell, did you wind up with a name like Kevin?

Well, my parents thought it was a great name for a girl, and it meant benevolence. Benevolence? Yes, so they changed it to C-E-V-I-N. Oh, so they could call you Seven. Well, yeah. But her other sister is named Six and a Half, so they don't want to confuse anybody. C-E-V-I and Kevin. Correct.

Do you have siblings? Yes, I do. What are their names? Oh, gosh. Oh, let's hear them. Okay, Ed, but he's the third. He's a girl, too. He's a girl.

He got a normal name, and then I have a brother named Brown, as in the color. And a sister named selman hagen she's but i had that once i had been a half-hour that's not a lot some of the family and then in denmark that it's my my grandmother's maiden names put together we just call her busy though

boozy so ed brown boobie Boozy. Mm-hmm. So, Ed, Brown. Boozy. Boozy. And Kevin. And Kevin. So, but this is interesting because you were born prior to the real wacko hippie movement. Yes. So, your parents must have been...

Smoking a lot of dope even then. They must have been way ahead of the curve in the wacko hippie times. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's very interesting. Are they as wacky now as they were then? Whackier. Well, that's good.

You do get wackier as you get older. I've noticed that with my parents. Oh my god. They get wackier. And your kids have noticed it with you. Yes. Your kids, Thomas. Anyway, Kevin.

Yes. Who? Do you have a question? Anyway, Kevin. Yes? Who? Do you have a question? Well, yeah. What is it? It's already been a pleasure talking to you. Why, thank you. You've changed my life.

Well, I have a 1987 Volkswagen Golf. Okay, an 87 Golf. Back in March, I was driving out into the country, and my oil pressure light came on very briefly. Did the buzzer go off? Oh yeah. Very obnoxious. Yeah.

So I pulled off, checked the oil, everything seemed fine. It was running fine. So I decided, well, I'll just drive back. I'll just drive back, sure. Take it easy. Nothing happened. Oh, when did it go off? On the trip back?

Oh, no, it only came on for a brief moment. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, then went off. Gotcha. Okay, and then I had it checked out. They said nothing's wrong. And it went off again about a month later. This time for a longer period of time.

Yeah. So it gradually increased in duration. And now it takes me about a half a block, I can go half a block, and it comes on and stays on. I've taken it in, the mechanic said, I can't find anything wrong with this car, the compression's great, it runs great. So I told him to disconnect it. And so they disconnected it, and I got it back, and it still comes on.

Oh, they supposedly disconnected the buzzer. Yes. No, some of those buzzers have a separate unit under the dash, which is very hard to find, and some of them are built into the instrument cluster, I think. Okay. And he'll never disconnect that one, because you'd need to fire on it with like an Uzi. However I would go back and suggest that you do have something wrong. I don't think he's done an oil pressure test. Yeah I mean when he said I can't find anything wrong

and then he mentions that the compression is great. Maybe he meant oil pressure. Did he say compression or pressure? I think he said pressure. He checked everything out, but he did check the oil pressure. Well this car has two switches. It has one to read low pressure and it is one to read excessively high pressure. When the thing went off, yes, then when the buzzer first went off. How fast were you going? Yeah, were you going at high speed? Yes, I was. I was out in the country, I was going really fast. And did he change the switches? There were two oil switches.

He should have changed both of them. I don't know. He should change the two oil switches. Okay. And then he should make a concerted effort to relocate the buzzer unit. It could be that that unit is faulty too, and it's responding to a signal erroneously. Well, I used to be able to get it to go off if I shifted down. If you made it rev higher?

Rev higher. Yes. That would indicate you have low oil pressure. Okay. I would take it back to him and have him really check the oil pressure. I wouldn't take it back to him. I'd take it to someone else. I would too.

Have the oil pressure test done. There's a spec in the book which tells you what it should be hot, what it should be at so many thousands of RPM, and make sure it falls within specifications if it doesn't you may need a new oil pump Okay, that's what that's my guess is The other thing make sure the dipstick isn't overfilled if it's overfilled you can get foaming of the oil Which will reduce your oil pressure to there's a bulletin on this from Volkswagen. Oh, okay So you may have already ruined the engine by having it overfilled repeatedly by this other

guy. Okay. Take it to someone else and Kevin and have them just really check things out. Okay thank you so much. It's been a pleasure talking to you. Indeed. Pleasure talking to you all. See you Kevin. All right thank you. Bye bye. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Mark in Key West. Hey, Mark. How are you doing today?

We're doing great. What's the nature of your call? Well, I'm an owner operator of an independent taxi cab here in Key West. I took auto mechanics in high school back in the 70s when they had carburetors and points and rotors and whatnot. I've got a decent set of tools plus some specialty tools some meters wheel pullers et cetera i'm considering taking over the uh... maintenance of my vehicle which is a

nineteen ninety five honda cord wagon and taking care of it myself uh... putting some money into some service manuals into some tools but i'm wondering if i'm biting off more than I can chew here. Well how much time have you got? Well, whatever it takes it seems like when it goes in the shop they take altogether too much time and that's my problem. Sure, because if it's in the shop you're not working anyway because the cab is in the shop. So you might as well be fixing it.

Yes. Ah, as opposed to what though? What do you do now when it's in the shop you have to like go to the beach and drink cappuccino yeah it's rough I would continue taking it to the shop I don't think there's any doubt in my mind what the heck are you thinking I mean the thing breaks down and you say oh my god the thing broke down oh I have to go have some cappuccino and sit on the water. Well that's good for about 10 minutes and then the need for cash flow starts hitting. It's an expensive town.

Well, I mean, there's nothing that says you can't do this. I mean, look at the morons who currently do it. Look at my brother. Oh, good they did, good job. It is clearly not rocket science. So, sure you can do it. Well, Honda specifically, am I going to need a lot of special tools or will ordinary tools do the trick? Well for the most part ordinary tools will do the trick but if you haven't worked on cars in a long time you're gonna find it pretty tight under that hood so you're gonna have to get used to that it would be great to have a lift also which you don't have I imagine.

No I'll have to get ramps. You have have to get ramps, yeah, jack stands and whatever. Right. I mean it's doable. Would I recommend you do things like a clutch? No. Would I recommend you do a timing chain or timing belt rather? Probably not. And the reason for that is if you screw it up, you're going to wreck the thing.

Yeah. So I would start off with the simple stuff and as you build your confidence, you can then embark upon more complex jobs and save even more money. All right. Yeah, I think you can do it. I would certainly do, I would do brake jobs and oil changes and the drive belts and, you know, flushing the cooling system and all that stuff. Yeah, even though there have been a lot of very significant changes in cars since the

time you took that course, there are in fact a lot of things that haven't changed at all. I mean, the cooling system hasn't changed very much, the brakes haven't changed very much. You could certainly do all that stuff. All right, now what can you tell me about a code reader, the computer gizmo that you plug on there? Now, that's big money. It's a couple of thousand bucks.

Yipes. That's why I wouldn't buy that. When something like that, if the check engine light comes on, you take it to the dealer. Alright. I mean you can read the codes yourself right off the computer and that might help you to find the problem. And if you bought the bonafide service manual from Honda... Yes, that's the one. That would tell you how to do that.

Uh-huh. I would buy the book first. Okay. And I would sort of pick something that you might want to do and Read the description thoroughly open the hood. Here's what you do try to find the stuff. You buy the book Yeah, you leave it in the bathroom That's it. Yeah, right, right and instead of reading the newspaper while you're in there every day You'll read it you read a chapter of your Honda book. Right. And then you'll gain an intimacy with the car

and you may be able to figure stuff out and fix it without even getting out of the car. That would be wonderful. So I think that's the first step. I think the book is the first step. Don't go buying any tools prematurely. Buy the book first and spend some time with the book. Yeah, I think that's my recommendation.

But it is fun to buy the tools. It is fun, yeah. Oh yeah, I have a great time at the book. Yeah, I think that's my recommendation. But it is fun to buy the tools. It is fun, yeah. Oh yeah, I have a great time at the tool place. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Hey, good luck, Mark. Thank you very much. Sure.

Don't get a sunburn or anything when you're on the beach. Yes. See you later. See ya. Bye. Don't go anywhere. Stick around for more calls coming right up. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio. Don't wake me up like that.

With us, Click and Clack the Tabard Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and contact sports. This is very quick. Came on email, Dennis Gittinger from somewhere, football commentator and former player Joe Theismann. Do you ever hear of him? Yes, he was a quarterback for the Washington Redskins, I believe. Okay, here's his quote, nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius would be a guy like Norman Einstein. And Joe clearly ain't that.

I've seen Norman Einstein, Joe, and you ain't no Norman Einstein. Must be a typo. How about Pat Sumerall? Here's his. A long time ago, football commentator and former player Pat Sumerall was lamenting the new rules designed to protect the quarterback. He summarized his feelings thusly, if you take the violence out of football, the stands will be filled with no shows. Seated in the stands will be people who didn't show up. Pretty good.

He must have collaborated with Yogi Berra on that one. It's good. Nobody goes to C one. Yeah. It's good. It's good. Nobody goes to Coney Island anymore. It's too crowded. It's too crowded. Well, look, this is normally the time when we introduce the new puzzler, but there will be no puzzler this week.

The authorities have sent the puzzler on a mandatory unpaid leave of absence and will have no comment on the specifics until the lawsuit is settled. Anyway, if you're dying for a puzzle this week, all you have to do is go to the radio section of Cartalk.msn.com where you'll find the Cartalk puzzler from the archives or from the anchovies for your puzzling pleasure. Now, if you'd like to call us to the question about anything, Now, if you'd like to call us to the question about anything, our number is 1-800-332-9287. We have expanded from car talk to anything. Well, we couldn't do worse. We just couldn't. 1-800-332-9287.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Ed Benz from Honolulu. Honolulu? That's right. Well, I'll let my brother do all the talk to you because my brother is a is a honolulu file uh... rule why i don't like my own a little

uh... how you had where in honolulu do you live i've been on a street towards the base of the mountain nice and cool climate off all right so i think it is not i'm gonna guess at what the temperature is right now right now we don't have thermometers we just walk out so we're short sleeves and short

pants and that's always been always works isn't that it's eighty four degrees eighty four degrees we know it's a very because it's all for the grief and no one even cares what it is because my brother has the Hawaii weather station on his television Direct satellite TV all he wants is the Hawaii weather station. Oh, yeah. Yeah Wow, you don't have a weather man in Hawaii. Do you we don't know what they do? We have we just have a surf report. How's that?

Yeah surf report and of course you have no worries because you're what? Living where? In paradise. That's right. So why are you calling? Yeah, I mean your car breaks down. What do you care? Right. Doesn't matter. Yeah. Nothing matters. Oh, koodamitada man. Because they live in paradise. Anyway, Ed, you have a reason for calling us? Yeah, I don't particularly have a problem with a specific car. Oh. I have a problem with all my car i have a problem with all my car she's he regards my cat can you get about six cats in their fearfully territorial territorial and the mark everything not just the territory itself

but even the cars to come into the spray in the bumpers all day long and uh... in hot hawaiian fun all yet it gets to be a real stench. These male cats? Yeah, male cats. Oh, nothing smells, oh man. Well, I'll have to have my brother, even though I am the Honolulu Lulu, I have no knowledge of cats.

No, but see, here's the idea. I have an idea, contraption in my work. My brother spent some time in Johannesburg for a while. He had a BMW and he got broken in three times. So him and some friends designed the contraption that will put an end to all break-ins. It's now known as the Johannesburg Jolter. Johannesburg Jolter? It's a hundred thousand volts of electricity. What they did, they connected the coil to the door handle. What they did, they connected the coil to the door handle. Now, it works fantastic, but what happened is the first person to get in contact with it was a cop that was patrolling the area. See, that's what happens.

There you go. All right, well you leave your door ajar and somebody decides to do a good deed and close it for you and you electrocute them. So you want to do the same thing to the cats and you might be able to do it because the electricity might be able to follow a conductive path through the urine. Well, that was the whole idea. So will that work?

I could see it, I could see it Ed. Yeah. Oh, that would hurt, especially. Yeah. Just the thought of it is frightening. Don't get me wrong, I love these animals. Sure you do, but. I'll teach you a lesson. Teach them a. No, you can't teach an animal a lesson because this is they're doing

What they do out of instinct they're not showing it to anger you First of all, it won't work because the only time the coil emits this this hundred thousand or fifty thousand volts is When you turn the key to the start position. Right, okay. So that's why it worked down in Johannesburg. Alright. Because it was for people who were in fact trying to steal the car. The coil has no voltage whatsoever when it's sitting there. No, no, but you could make a pressure sensitive switch that the cat would... Oh yeah, you could do that, certainly. That would energize a little circuit that would open and close the primary circuit of the coil.

Yeah, we can do that. You want a little diagram? It's a simple RC circuit. That sounds great. As a matter of fact, I'll put your name on the product once it's being commercially peddled. How's that? Is this the Cat Master? Or the Cat Blaster?

The click and clack? Click and clack's Cat Terminator? Cat Terminator. Okay. Alright. Hey Ed, thanks a lot. Enjoy paradise. I certainly do every day.

And we'll write to you when you're in jail. Yeah, we will. See ya Ed. Thanks for calling Ed. You have a good day. You too. Bye bye. While you've done exactly what you should be doing this summer, you've completely wasted

an hour listening to Card Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug, the Subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion, and in desperate need of a haircut, Berman. Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Not in need of a haircut, you might add. No, he got de-bozo'd recently.

Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode-Ray. Our engineer is Karen I've already given and our technical spiritual and menu advisor and grandfather And grandfather is John Bugsy free lunch milk carton man Lawler understand that his grandson was named after him John Sebastian no free lunch free lunch free lunch No, free lunch. Free lunch. Just free lunch. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara.

Our director of new product repairs, Warranty My Foot. Our staff butler in the Car Talk Mumbai division is Mahatma Kot. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Euripides Uppman. Our director of upward mobility in Eastern Europe is Zbigniew Kreisler, and our Italian governess is Donna de Aveleurin. Our evasive driving instructor is Vera Bruppley, our marriage counselor is Marion Haste, our Director of Moral Support is Yu Duman, the Chairman of the Federal Lubrication Board is Alan Griespan, and our Leo Tolstoy biographer is Warren Peace.

Author of Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace. Our chief counselor from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe is Louis Dewey, known on the benches of Harvard Square as Dewey, Louis Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now with a very important announcement, here is Cart Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Vinnie Gumbatz. Hey, if you want tapes of this show, which is number 33, here's what you do. You click on the shameless commerce division of Car Talk dot MSN dot com.

That's Car Talk, Vinnie. That's what I said, Car Talk. Now don't interrupt me, alright? You can also call in your order at 303-823-8000. That's 3-3-0-3-823-8000. Hey, you're getting on my nerves, Mr. Radio Man. As I was saying, you can get tapes of this show, the best of Car Talk, or rather Car Talk Jump, by calling 303-823-8000. Now how about you and me? We'll go for a little ride, huh?

I don't think so. Car Talk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah & Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Evander Holyfield threatens to bite his own ear off when he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.