The Best of Car Talk - #2525: My Scum-Sucking Husband Wrecked My Car!

Episode Date: March 29, 2025

Michelle is a local lass who's ticked off at her hubby something awful! Can Click and Clack calm Michelle down enough to catch the guy a break?! There isn't a letter 'R' in the vicinity of this episode of the Best of Cah Tahk!Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

When Malcolm Gladwell presented NPR's Through Line podcast with a Peabody Award, he praised it for its historical and moral clarity. On Through Line, we take you back in time to the origins of what's in the news, like presidential power, aging, and evangelicalism. Time travel with us every week on the Through Line podcast from NPR. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us clicking clack to tap it brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the ranting and raving harness here at car talk Plaza stand back My brother is whipped up for a good old-fashioned Rant and rave you know and you've been so good about I have I haven't rented and raved on the air

I don't believe for maybe five five, six years, or is it weeks, whatever. No, I mean, it used to be almost a weekly occurrence. It was almost a weekly occurrence, but as I get older. You forget, huh? You just forget the stuff. I know I'm angry about something, but I don't know what it is. No, it's that I've been trying to calm down.

But this one thing has been bothering me, as you probably know when I bring up the subject, has been bothering me for a long time, and it's been festering. Horsepower. Horsepower and the emphasis on speed, and what really got to me was the Lexus advertising in which the GS 400 is reputed to go from 0 to 60 miles an hour in 5 or 6 seconds or some ridiculously small number.

I think 6.3 seconds or something. Whatever. I think Motor Trend even says like 5.7 seconds, which might be. And the advertisements focus on speed. That was the beginning. Then, last night, I see an ad for a Toyota Corolla. Also, makers of what? Lexus, Toyota, now turning into a Toyota rant.

But I'll try to spread it out as far as I can so I can alienate everybody. Get this, here's the thing is the coral and two guys are sitting in a car sort of lying back and they've just eaten their lunch they're obviously on their lunch hour and that one guy looks at his watch he says it's five of one he said we ought to start heading back and the other guy says now

no hurry and they wait until one minute of one and then it shows the cost like mad and they pull into the parking of one and then it shows the car speeding like mad and they pull it to the parking lot at work just on time. Now do they not have any moral sense? Don't they know that speed is what kills people? Let me add to that. My buddies at of all places Mercedes-Benz. What are they doing? They're putting V8 engines in cars that could go with four-cylinder engines. Mercedes, of all places, Mercedes-Benz. What are they doing? They're putting V8 engines in cars that could go with four-cylinder engines.

But they'll go what? With V8s. Faster. There you go. They'll go faster. So here's the point. We have to somehow stop these jerks because they can't stop themselves. They know it's not right to make cars that will go faster and faster

and then promote the fact that they'll go faster and faster. I'm fed up with them. Well I told you how to stop it. How do we stop it? Anyone that's victimized by a car that is too fast and has been sold to somebody with ads to promote the fact that it's fast, has to sue the company that makes the car. Ah! I like the ramming idea. I'm trying to put together a band of vigilantes who all own heaps and are willing to sacrifice their lives and their cars just to smash into everyone who drives fast. So after you and Dick Malio join, who else is going to be?

That will be it. No, but I tell you, I'm so angry at Toyota that I would support a boycott against all Toyota products because of their stupidity in this advertising, and I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take any... Can I stop now? God, I hope so. I'm working up a sweat. Quick! Get the fanners in here!

But the truth is that it is unconscionable and they have no moral sense to push this kind of advertising and I won't stand for it. I will not buy a Toyota all year! No Toyotas one year! That's it! Can we take a call? I feel a little better now. That's it! Ha ha ha two seven eight two five five.

You remembered it. That's good. Yeah. Hello. You're on car talk. Hello. This is Kathy from Old Lyme, Connecticut. Hi, Kathy from Old Lyme.

Kathy with a C. With a what? C. No. Old Lyme? Lyme with a K. With a Y. Yes.

Lyme with a Y. Kathy with a K. No kidding! Yes. So what's up, Cathy? Well, I have a 96 Dodge Stratus and I got it last spring and this fall, after I had driven it, oh, maybe 25, 30 miles, the exhaust started smelling like burnt popcorn. That's a new one, burnt popcorn.

Well, it took us a while to try to figure out what it smelled like. And I've got two adolescent sons and we hemmed in hot and finally figured out, yeah, closest we could come up with was burnt popcorn. Yeah. And it's definitely coming from the exhaust. Oh, the tailpipe. The tailpipe, right. Burnt popcorn, huh? Well, I'm wondering if it might be, I don't drive very far on a very regular basis.

I work within a mile or two of where I live, so I do a lot of short little trips. Well, I'm going to tell you what I believe in. That's got nothing to do with it. No, because I was wondering if I was developing a primordial soup in my muffler. You may be, but I think the smell is not really coming from your muffler. Or coming out the tailpipe. But it is coming from the engine compartment. You think so.

And I think the most likely thing to make a smell like this is a very small oil leak. And somehow the oil is dripping onto your exhaust system and when it's vaporized it makes the smell. Yeah and it's very unlikely that something coming out the tailpipe would smell of burnt popcorn. Now you have a couple of teenagers. Actually one teenager and a 12 year old. Close enough. You get them to go walking around the car sticking their nose up that tailpipe You get them to go walking around the car, sticking their nose up that tailpipe, and see... I think fixie ate them good here. No, they'll be alright. After you revive them.

And I'll bet you they'll find that the smell is not in fact coming from the tailpipe, but is coming from under the hood. You could alternatively, instead of exposing your children to carcinogens... I could do it to my husband, right? Sure, let your husband do it. You could take it to the dealer and ask them to put it on the lift and look for an oil leak and I bet you they're going to find something like your oil pressure switch is leaking or the valve cover gasket is leaking. Okay.

See you, Kathy. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Dave. I'm up in Hanover, Massachusetts.

Dave, Hanover? Where's that? About 20 minutes south of Boston. Oh, that's like down to Cape, sort of. Yeah, only about half way. I've never been. Is it exciting? No, it's kind of a quiet little sleepy town. Yeah. Little suburb.

So what's on your mind, Dave? Well, I have an 89 Volkswagen Golf that I've had for about three years now. It's got about 130,000 miles on it. Every once in a while it starts to click as you're driving it. And then when you're driving along, all of a sudden the whole front end will start to shake like the car's about to shake apart. Oh, really? Yeah, but it doesn't do it all the time. And I have no idea what makes it do it and what doesn't make it do it.

And I brought it to mechanic and they had no idea what it was is the clicking in step with the rotation of the wheels It sounds like it and it would stop if you stopped. Mm-hmm And as soon as you took off again, you'd begin to get clicks More or less in step with the speed of the wheels. Yes Wow, and it's accompanied by a vibration. Yes. This sounds dangerous, Dave! Yeah, I was going to preface, I was going to say, I have to preface everything my brother is going to tell you by saying that whenever you have vibrations in the front end, it's probably something dangerous, or at least you should assume that it's something dangerous.

It feels dangerous. So you've had people look at this? I have had people look at it. And they replace something and it stopped for about a week, a week and a half, and then it started again. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Had it ever gone a week, week and a half without doing it before? Oh yeah, it goes for like two weeks without doing it.

So they may not have done diddly when they replaced whatever they replaced? Yeah. Well, I think I know what it is. Do you really? I think. Yeah. Well I think I know what it is. Do you really? I think. Okay. I think what you have Dave is a bad constant velocity joint which would account for the clicking and also account for the shaking because what's happening is one of the balls in there must be broken. The constant velocity joint has in this car I think six ball bearings that are

embedded in a cage that fit into, and there's a male part of the joint and a female. See, what you're missing, Dave, is my brother's hands. As he's talking to you, he's making little shapes and he's pushing things together. Well, I have to do that to explain it to myself. The first step is making sure I know how it works. In any event, one of these little ball bearings, which are about a half an inch in diameter, has probably broken and probably occasionally jams itself so that it inhibits the free movement

of the outer part of the zipper joint. And when that happens, it actually, as it turns, whenever it comes to this bad ball and it can't flex, it momentarily slows that wheel down. All right. And then as soon as it passes, it speeds it up. And it would be the equivalent of you're driving the car and having somebody apply the brake for just a split second. To the right hand wheel? To the right or the left front wheel.

Okay. And when that happens, the car is going to shake violently. All right. And then the ball either gets chewed up some more or gets moved around and the noise goes away and so does the shaking. So you know this is the time Dave when you're supposed to say, well they just replaced all the CV joints in the car. Well I had a hint that they hadn't.

No they hadn't because it would have cost more money and he wouldn't have forgot. What did they replace? I don't, I think they replaced the rotors actually. Yeah well that would have been a good start but. But you guys think it's one of these. Well we start with stuff like that too because we want to make sure we have the customerors actually. Yeah well that would have been a good start but you guys think it's one of these... Well we start with stuff like that too because we want to make sure we have the customer coming back until we finally get it. I have to say that I think my brother's analysis of this situation is quite brilliant. It explains everything. It explains everything. It's absolutely perfect.

Oh yeah. And as you know I don't let them get away with much. Oh, I know, it is a pain in the butt. But ask them to replace one of the axles. Put a rebuilt one or a used one in there. Okay. And then drive the car. They may even, when they take the axles out, be able to figure out if they strip off the boots which one, which joint is bad. I think they will.

All right, and how much will that cost, do you guys think? Hundreds! Hundreds? Golf? $212.85. That includes the tax and tip. And licensing fees. See you, Dave.

Okay, thanks, guys. Good luck. It's time to find out if my brother remembers last week's puzzler. Of course I remember last week's puzzle. Last week's puzzler was about the Bugatti and the Renault. Okay, I didn't think so. It was about our steamed producer and the little problem he had. This is Tonya Mosley, co-host of Fresh Air. You'll see your favorite actors, directors, and comedians on late-night TV shows or YouTube, but what you get with

Fresh Air is a deep dive. Spend some quality time with people like Billie Eilish, Questlove, Ariana Grande, Stephen Colbert, and so many more. We ask questions you won't hear asked anywhere else. Listen to the Fresh Air podcast from NPR and WHY. Singapore is one of the busiest cities in the world, but biologist Philip Johns is fascinated by a different inhabitant on the island, otters. At rush hour downtown, the otters would swim toward each other and there are literally tens of thousands of people who are on their way to work.

How ideas, emotions, and creatures coexist. That's next time on the TED Radio Hour from NPR. These days, there's so much news, it can be hard to keep up with what it all means for you, your family, and your community. The Consider This Podcast from NPR features our award-winning journalism. Six days a week, we bring you a deep dive on a news story and provide the context and analysis that helps you make sense of the news. We get behind the headlines. We get to the truth. Listen to the Consider This podcast from NPR. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us,

Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. And as promised, here is the answer to last week's puzzler. What was the question? Oh, you're going to tell us? I'm going to give you the question first. And the answer. I can just give you, what, just the answer? Maybe I should just do that. Yeah, you should just do that. Long, long ago when he was but a lad, our producer, Dougie Berman, had three girlfriends. This was before he was married, I think. Now he's only a lad. Our producer Dougie Berman had three girlfriends. This was before he was married, I think.

Now he's only got two. Anyway, he had three girlfriends and he would juggle them. On Monday he would visit one, Tuesday he'd visit another and Wednesday the third one and then he'd repeat the process. And each time he would make one of these visits, he would drive his car. But before he could drive his car, because it was a real heap, he'd have to go through a little ritual. He would open the hood, he'd have to top off the coolant because it was a real heap. He'd have to go through a little ritual. He would open the hood. He'd have to top off the coolant because he was leaking coolant. He'd have to top off the power steering fluid that, that leaked too.

He'd have to fill up the oil because he was burning oil like crazy. Blue smoke out the tailpipe, the whole bit, you know. Anyway, he closes the hood, drives to girlfriend number one's house and pulls into the driveway and parks the car. He follows the same procedure each day. He pulls as far into the driveway and parks the car. He follows the same procedure each day. He pulls as far into the driveway as he can so the other girlfriends won't see this jalopy because it's easily recognized. He does this for girlfriend number one on Monday, number two on Tuesday, number three on Wednesday. But when he pulls into girlfriend number three's driveway,

an interesting thing happens. Fire erupts under the hood. The thing bursts into flames, at which point he jumps out of the car, throws open the hood, removes his pants, and beats out the flames. Once the fire is out, he goes into the house and tries to explain to her parents why he's coming to meet her with no pants on. This goes on and on. Dougie, you did all this? I'm impressed, man.

Girlfriend number one, no problem. Girlfriend number two, no problem. Number three, same problem. Yeah. Bursting the flames. Yeah. He can't explain it. He takes this as an omen and dumps the other two. Figuring any girl that can set his pants on fire is going to be worth sticking around with. So now you have all the facts.

Yeah. I mean, this is a rather lengthy narrative. Yeah, I just figured it out as you were speaking. What is it about his visit to girlfriend number three that causes this conflagration under the hood and ultimately in his pants? Does it have something to do with power steering fluid and the shape of the driveway? Exactly. Does it? You looked at my notes.

No. Exactly right. I mentioned earlier in the story that he added coolant. He's leaking coolant. He's adding oil, but he's burning oil. Burning the oil. The coolant's not going to burst into flame. He adds power steering fluid. When he pulls into the driveway of girlfriend number three, he has to make a very sharp turn. He has a leak in the high pressure power steering hose, and when the wheel is cut all the way, the increased pressure in the system squirts it out, squirts it out onto the hot exhaust manifold and that small amount of fluid, boom, bursts into flame. And we know the rest of the story.

Now you know. He takes his pants off, etc., etc. And it was only because he had a driveway that had a much sharper turn than the other two. Wow. That he had to remove his pants. And that's how Sip became Mrs. Doug Berman. How unfortunate, huh? Poor kid.

And who might our winner be this week, Tommy? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Wait a minute. Here it is, the winner is Ed Klopton from Iowa City, Iowa. And for having this correct answer chosen at random from among the thousands of right answers that we got this week, maybe three, four, our buddy Ed Klopton, Ed Klopton was going to get one of our 10th anniversary. Ed come on down man.

The 10th anniversary Car Talk T-shirts that has the current slogan, celebrating 10 years of bad car advice. Congratulations to Ed Klopton from Iowa City, Iowa. That's so he'll spend five bucks and buy the tape of this show because his name is so prominently mentioned.

And that five bucks will go toward pieces for my doctor. Hahaha! Anyway, we'll have a brand new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show, so don't touch that dial. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hi, this is Danny in the Dalles, Oregon. Danny? Yes. In where, Oregon? The Dalles. How do you spell it? T-A-T, second word, D-A-L-L-E-S. D-A-T, second word, D-A-L-L-E-S.

D-A-T, second word, D-A-L-E-S. D-A-T, second word, D-A-L-E-S. D-A-T, second word, D-A-L-E-S. D-A-T, second word, D-A-L-E-S. D-A-T, second word, D-A-L-E-S. T-A-T, second word, D-A-L-L-E-S. D-A-L-L-E-S. Right. And what are the Dalles? It means actually the water running over the rocks. That's what you get when you have French fur trappers naming your camp. Ah, okay. Ah, Pierre, les Dalles! Oh, oui oui! Exactly. I'm with you now, okay. Okay. So, what's up, Danny? Well, here's my situation.

I just made the biggest automotive mistake of my life. And my husband and I- Tuned in a second time, huh? Well, and my husband and I can't quite agree on how to solve it, and we agree that whatever you guys said would go. Really? Cool. Yeah.

So you have the power in your hands. And how is your relationship with your husband otherwise? Excellent. So we should try as much as we can to help you out of the problem. Yeah. Okay, we will. Okay, I was in pregnancy induced insanity

about four months ago. 100 degree weather, nine months pregnant, decided I needed to get rid of my little Honda Civic and buy a family car. Yeah. So I went out and bought an 89 range Rover wagon. Oh, it's really cute and it's The only thing I like about it. Yeah, that'll do it My husband is like a very conservative banker and he wanted a plane jeep something reliable Yeah, I bought this horrible car. So you went out and made a unilateral decision. I did

I just bought it. Oh you did accidentally. Well, that's a different story I didn't mean to buy it quite the way I did but I did but you bought it and he comes home from work One night and you say honey, we're worse. I say honey. We have to go pick up the car We bought it from my dealership from this little weasel and he said go pick it up at the dealership I had him fix a few things on on it. It's all paid for So we go down to pick it up. It's important. So it's 90 miles out of our way We don't pick it up and there's a $400 balance for the new alternator So the sleazeball who was a used car salesman

private dealership thing. And after it fell over, he said, you know, I used to be a used car salesman. I said, yeah, I can believe that. You know, he was a horrible person. But anyway, so I go pick it up at Land Rover. I get like a block away from the dealership and the fuel light goes on. And I'm in downtown Portland and these things get like what, 10 miles to the gallon. So I'm just frantic. And then I'm working my way to a gas station and I get pulled over by a police officer because I have expired tech. This is all my first hour of a mission. Now, at this point, are you still in your pregnancy induced insanity mode? No. Now reality is slamming in. My husband is looking at me like I'm the biggest moron that ever walked the planet and I'm having to agree with him. You know, this is bad. This is just $400. You know, just $400 a year. It's not. Right. the planet and i'm having to agree with him you know that you've got yeah

before it's not it's not black what and then we probably spent twenty four hundred dollars more yeah yeah alternator speedometer temperature switch and electric with it there was a thousand dollars and i think and i had a good and i had a good in the car and i think that he can't yes Oh, and my husband doesn't fit in the car. Did I mention that? He's tall. He can't fit in the car.

Yeah. So you really researched this, I guess. Oh yeah, yeah. Like I said. You read the reports and caught all the information? He wants to sell this car, or actually trade it in, at a huge loss, just to get rid of it. What did you pay for it, really? $16,500. Yeah, and you've spent another $2,500 for stuff.

So you're now into this for $1,900 bucks, $19,000, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what could you get for it on a trade? Horrible. Like, $11. Go for it. Try it again? Oh my god!

In a New York minute! You're fighting with my husband! No, no, I'm not! Wait a minute! I am! Wait a minute! Because the thing is, it has all these little expensive things that have gone wrong, but it's never left me stranded, and the horrible part is, I kind of like it.

Well, here's the thing. You like it. Yeah. The mistake that you actually made. Which one? No, I think out of all of them. Is you married a guy, first of all, that was too tall. That's your first mistake.

That was your first mistake, yeah. Now, here's the mistake you made was you bought a car like a pig in a poke. And I mean, I don't know if you've ever heard the show before, but we have said a hundred thousand times, if not more, you never, ever buy a used car without having a mechanic check it out. Okay. I mean, this vehicle does not have a stellar repair record, but it's not that bad It's not great, but I would say it's it's below average

It is below average yes It is below average it is and when you have to have it fixed it costs more than average And they don't have the parts generally which means you have to wait longer than what? Yeah, it means that you're without it longer than average. Which means you drive less than average. And you have fewer chances to have accidents because you're not in the vehicle often enough. This is true. This is true.

I spent the holidays at the dealership. You bought this thing purely on emotion. Yeah. And you want to keep it purely on emotion, even if logic tells you that you shouldn't. Right. And... I'm going to propose a compromise solution.

Are you? That you and your husband agree on a time frame and money frame. That is, over the next, say, six months, you'll agree that if the expenditures are more than X, then you'll dump it. Okay. Yeah, I mean something like, then you'll dump it. Okay. Yeah, I mean something like, you know, eight, ten thousand. That's a mistake! Yeah.

I mean give yourself some, you know, give yourself some wiggle room. But here's what I would do, Danny, is before you do anything, you can sort of make up for the earlier mistake by bringing it to your mechanic and have him check it all out as though you hadn't bought it yet. And he will give you a list of all the things that are wrong or imminently wrong. Oh, I don't think I do that. No, I mean at least you'll know where you stand. And then you can decide which things to fix right away if they're dangerous. That's right. And then you can arrange for a home equity line of credit. Exactly. It's not the worst vehicle in the world. It will serve you. There's a motto for Land Rover. It's not the worst vehicle in the world. Not

the worst vehicle in the world. There you go. That's an advertising slogan if I ever heard one. I'll suggest it to them. Next time we meet in court. Okay. Thanks guys. Good luck Danny. We're glad we were able to cheer you up. Oh yeah. See you later. Alright, bye bye. I would keep it. I would keep it.

Okay, now before we get to the new puzzle, we have to take a short break. Time for Hiccup. Just a trim actually. Shortwave thinks of science as an invisible force, showing up in your everyday life, powering the food you eat, the medicine you use, the tech in your pocket. Science is approachable because it's already part of your life. Come explore these connections on the Shortwave podcast from NPR. Since Donald Trump took office in January, a lot has happened. The White House Budget Office ordered a pause on all federal grants and loans.

The impact of the Trump administration's tariffs is already being felt in President Trump's efforts to radically remake the federal government. The NPR Politics Podcast covers it all. Keep up with what's happening in Washington and beyond with the MPR Politics podcast. Listen every day. Hey, it's Amartines. A lot of short daily news podcasts focus on one story, but sometimes you need un poquito más. For up first on MPR, we bring you the three top world headlines every single day in under 15 minutes because no one story can capture all that's happening It's the mundo tangrande on any given morning. So listen to the first podcast from NPR We're back you're listening to car talk with us click and clack the tappet brothers and we're here to discuss cars

Car repair and the new puzzler. Yes, I can hardly wait. Now, as advertised. It'll be brief. This'll be brief because last week's was so lengthy, and it really wasn't. I mean, considering the length of it, my brother's now looking at me saying, what was last week's puzzle?

That's just, oh! We just discussed it 10 minutes ago. Oh, it's Doug, about Doug, yeah. That was long, but it was good. You liked it, huh? I did, yeah. Well, I'll see how you like this one, buddy. Yeah, OK, go ahead.

My neighbor Frank says to me one day, he says, I have five children. And I say, I know that. And he says, and half of them are boys. And I said, I'll get right back to you. Can you explain that? Oh, that's it, huh? Now if you think you know the answer...

That's brief. It is brief. Yeah. Yeah. If you think you know the answer, I just have nothing else to do. And you feel like taking a stab at it, mail your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238, or of course you can email us your answer from our website, cartalk.msn.com.

Just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And if we choose your correct answer at random from among all the correct answers that we receive, that is not all the correct answers in the universe, just the ones we happen to receive. You may write a correct answer on the back of an envelope. And send it to us. You may discuss it with someone over coffee. But if we don't actually have access to it. If we don't get it, then you'll get what? You'll get squat.

There you go. And that's it. But if you don't get squat and you win, you'll get one of our new Car Talk T-shirts proudly proclaiming. Excellent. That we are celebrating 10 years of bad car advice now if you'd like to call us the numbers 1-888 car Talk, that's 888 227 8255 hello, you're on car talk

This is Roger from Akron, Ohio. Hi, right. Oh great I think I've got an interesting problem for you and lay it on us Roger It's a 94 Toyota T four play or to to sell the problem is that uh... the first week or so after oil change and not everyone every third or fourth win for no apparent reason uh... when i'm driving along out of the tailpipe

comes a cloud of conflict clingy dirty white smoke uh... it could only be described as biblical in proportion. Wow, really. Now when this has happened, how long had you been driving? Sometimes it's initial, but for the most part, the car is fully warmed up. Car is fully warmed up. Yeah. so you've been driving for 15 20 minutes sure is there anything unusual I'm sorry did I interrupt is there

anything unusual that you that has happened in terms of where you have driven or how you have driven that precedes this incident in other words if you just finished climbing a hill no descending a hill, making a sharp turn? Nothing like that. And have been parked for an extraordinarily long period of time before this? No, it can be at high speeds or slow. It's only in the first week or so after an oil change, but not every oil change. Right.

If I, taking the foot off the gas will interrupt it. Well, I know why it's happening. Well, really. the gas will interrupt it well I know why it's happening well I don't know exactly how it's happening but I know why okay like at least that part of the puzzle I would you would I'm gonna let me ask him one question which is gonna help you I don't need any help well it might help you to get to the next step Oh, I wasn't hope I was you're gonna try to get to the next step. No, all right, then go ahead My question was do you always have the oil changed at the same place? The dealer right at the dealer well, okay, as it changes at the same place

But not necessarily the same person kid every time well, and what I say one time out of three or four It's the same kid. one time out of three or four it's the same kid Yeah, one time or three or four it's the same kid who is over filling the crankcase exactly really I believe so because what's happening Is you are burning crankcase oil? Somehow or another that oil that overfilling that overfilled amount of oil is getting into the crankcase Ventilation system and getting sucked into the intake manifold where it is getting into the crankcase ventilation system and getting sucked into the intake manifold where it is getting distributed among the four cylinders and that's the only thing that would account for a cloud of smoke of that proportion.

And I am not exaggerating on that. Oh I'm sure, I think it's great. I'm sure it is and you can in fact try to, you can reproduce and it doesn't take very much oil to do this. You can actually reproduce this by taking a, with the engine running, removing the air cleaner and with an atomizer filled with oil, you know, a squirt bottle. You can squirt some oil into the intake, into where the air cleaner sucks the air into the engine and you will get the same clout, the same color and everything. I guess the guy at the dealership, every time I get that kid, he just keeps pouring until it runs out.

Maybe, or maybe the thing's supposed to take three and two-thirds quarts of oil and he's putting in four, or maybe he isn't letting it drain long enough, so he's not getting all of the old oil out. Now that sounds likely. Make sure you check the oil level after an oil change and make sure it is not overfilled and have your mechanic also check the operation of the PCV system. Okay, so is there any related damage

I should be concerned about? No. Okay. No, the engine is just as happy, almost just as happy to burn motor oil as it is whale bummer. See you Roger. Thanks a lot.

Bye bye. Bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK or 1-888-227-8255. See you Roger. Thanks a lot. Bye bye. Bye. 1888 CAR TALK or 1888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Michelle and I'm from Foxboro, Mass. Hi Michelle. No kidding.

Yup, and I drive a Mazda 626 DX 5-speed transmission now my scum sucking husband Wacked up my car in November Let me tell you I didn't care about him. I'm like what's wrong with my car. What year is a brand new one 97 What did he do he like smashed it into something? Well, he said he was letting someone out Yeah and when he did that there were two other cars involved and somebody hit him on the driver's side and with the whole front end over to the passenger side

all the way though i was not a happy camper and actually and divorcing him over this issue how bad as well you showed the shell as well as my cat but! He crashed up my car! Right, he was probably letting his girlfriend out of the car. Probably. Probably, no good bum. That's right, no good bum.

Oh my god, so now what? So, of course I take it to the dealer, insurance fully covers the whole thing. How is your husband, by the way? Did he suffer any injuries? No. Would you like to arrange? Oh, never mind. Yes, I would. Would you like him to suffer some injuries would you like to arrange uh... like the south of the south of the broken but how did they give you a number of how many dollars was dot what of damage was done here we talking about the five thousand

dollar range now we're talking money and i was in the lower ralph that's the whole car pretty much it's too bad to replace the hard the grill the whole front and everything so I get it back a month later they didn't fix it right the front end was still offline yeah it was still crooked visibly I mean you can look at it looks cock-eyed yeah ah so then I sent it back and kept it for another week to fix it well they won't be able ever to fix it in my opinion. Yeah, that's my opinion too.

Right, because if they gave it back to you so that you could look at it and see that it wasn't straight, then these guys are losers. Capital L is tattooed on their forehead now. I drive it home and it pulls to the right. So I so I go back and I feel lesson. It's not driving right It's pulling to the right. I'm having problems It's it right. Yeah. Well, I had the tires balanced I had two front end alignments done on it and I had it I had them pick that car apart from bumper to bumper You know and they're like well, there's nothing we can do we've done everything

we can as the insurance company paid them well i think i think the first thing you have to do is tell the insurance company that they should go get their money back yeah and then you know if they don't do anything about it you're gonna have to sue people i like that word that's a good word

or if you haven't made any uh... accounts reconciliation with your husband and you have to know that is unlikely the reconciliation definitely not so i want to give you manage to give him this car in the uh... in the arrangements that you make or maybe i will yeah well how have you been happily married

are you ready for that yeah we have married august ninth nineteen ninety seven uh... and i'm going to regret that my car uh... we've got time no humor where uh... well good luck with the lawyers and whirlwinds romance and i think that will tell the lawyer that two got two cases for him now.

One with the husband and one with the insurance company. Oh, then I will then. I like being in court. Sew their pants off. Yeah, go for it, Michelle. I love lawyers. Good luck. Thanks for calling, Michelle.

Thanks. Bye-bye. Well, it's happened again. You vaporized yet another hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway F subway fugitive not a slave to fashion Berman our associate producer and Dean of the College of Auto Musicology is Ken Babyface Rogers our assistant producer is Catherine Stewie as in oyster stewie Ray oyster I like crystal Ray crystal she doesn't like Stewie I won't say it

anymore no no we'll go back to enough is enough our engineers for God's sakes There's no reason to hop on the kid. No, come on. She's working hard. She is fact She's the only one that's working. That's right. What is the story behind the oyster stew though? She has gone to a few holiday dinners dinners, she actually hates it, but she's trying to make nice by saying, Oh, love it. Oh yeah. Real good. She needs to develop an allergy, an

instant allergy to oysters. Start sneezing and coughing. Yeah. In the stove. Our engineer is Jonathan Marston and our technical and spiritual advisor is Mr. John S. Lawler.

Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot, assisted by our customer care representative, Haywood Jabuzov. Our staff butler from the Car Talk One By Division is Mahatma Kot, our document security expert from the island of Jamaica, is Euripides Uppman.

Our East Asian used car expert is Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Bobby's congressional lobbyist is Ben Upton DeHill and our inventory manager is Mendeley Delbarco. Our evasive driving instructor is Vera Brumpley. Our junkyard manager is Ricardo Dismantelban. Our director of moral support is Hugh DeMann and our Leo Tolstoy biographer is Warren Peace author of real Tolstoy by Warren Peace Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howe is you Louis Dewey known among the freeze-dried Pigeons in Harvard Square is youie Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening We're clicking clack the tap the brothers and whatever you do don't drive like my brother or my sister I'm like my brother or my sister. My sister hasn't had an accident for days now.

I know. Wow, miracle. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. ["The New York Times"] And now, with an important announcement, here is Car Talk Plaza's Chief Mechanic, Mr. Vincent Gumbatz. Vinny? Hey, uh, now if you want a copy of this week's Car Talk Show, which is number six, here's

what you gotta do, all right? Oh, you're going to, what, now give out the telephone number, Vinny? Is that the idea? No, I'm gonna come out with my own line of salad dresses you dope The number is 1-888-CARD-JUNK That's 888-227-5865 And if people wanted other Card Talk junk like the tapes, the CDs, the t-shirts Would they call the same number Vinny?

No, I think you call the American Kennel Club Of course you call the same number That's 888-CARD-JUNK Or you can get stuff through the online shameless commerce division at cardtalk.msn.com. Vinnie, I'm beginning to detect a little hostility here. You really have to learn to express your feelings a little better. Express this jerk-o.

Card Talk is a production of Do We Cheat & Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Alex Chadwick can barely hold down his lunch when he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.