The Best of Car Talk - #2526: Geographically Undesirable

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Kate's car is on it's last legs and she's a little miffed at her boyfriend Aaron who needs to be driven around everywhere because he drives like a klutz. And to make things even worse, they live in different states! Will Click and Clack tell Kate to trade in the car, Aaron or both? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This is out of her glass. In Lily's family, there's a story everybody knows by heart. If this story had never happened... All of us wouldn't be here right now. Sammy wouldn't be here. Nina wouldn't be here. Wally wouldn't be here. Anyone that we know wouldn't be here. So what happens when Lily's mom tells her the story is not true?

This American Life, surprising stories every week. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week, you ready for this, from the Center for the Definition of Afterlife Destinations here at Car Talk Plaza. The Definition of Afterlife Destinations. Yeah, okay, fine. Whatever you say. Well, here's one we came across recently. The vice president of dealer relations for Chrysler, a guy named Tom Papert, said in a recent speech that automotive heaven could be defined as the following. You're paying attention? Yeah, yeah.

Chrysler designs the cars. He would say that. Mercedes engineers them. Toyota builds them. And Saturn delivers them. Toyota builds them. And Saturn delivers them. My question to you is, what then is the definition of automotive hell? Who would design the cars in automotive hell? Uh, Peugeot. Who would be in charge of styling? Styling, that would be Hugo. Who would be in charge of styling? Styling? That would be, uh, Hugo. Who would engineer them? Chrysler!

No, Chrysler would be in charge of, um, of, uh, relationships with outsiders. Yeah, okay. How about who would build them? Who would build them? Who would build them? Who would build them? Who would build them? Who would build them? Fiat. You know, I think... Well, I thought that Fiat would deliver them, actually.

Actually, Peugeot might be the dealership. I think the Peugeots should be the dealerships. Interestingly, in your little designations here, no mention of Jaguar. Interesting. The word will never pass my lips. Just thought it was interesting. Well, I mean, if we get down to specific systems, we would say, of course, that the British would do all the electrical stuff.

Right, exactly. And the Italians would do all the body integrity things Rust proofing mostly Rust proofing and that sort of stuff Actually that's kind of an interesting that's interesting yeah it's interesting I hadn't thought about it until this moment I know it's obvious yeah anyway if you want to talk to us and you want us to think about something else, the number is 888-CAR-TALK.

That's 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello, this is Bill from Knightdale, North Carolina. Hi, Bill, from Knightdale? Yeah, just outside northeast of Raleigh. Got it. Oh, okay. I knew you were dying to know.

We were, and we weren't going were going to ask actually but that's where i was so what's up with him i've got an eighty six toyota corolla gone beautifully for a hundred forty two thousand miles until the other day i took it to one of these quickie uh... oil change places and now it's doing funny things to me

date notice i've been my time now yeah And now it's doing funny things to me They notice I bit my tongue there. Yeah, I didn't say anything Did I what what I'm trying to say about the quicker you will change? I was tempted As I drove out I was thrilled to find I still had a drain plug so I figured I was home free But what happened was then't the uh... the very next day uh... to about thirty degrees out freezing cold for around here went out and started the car as normal but about uh... when it warmed up about ten minutes later i got a flickering oil light so i'm really figured okay the drain plug fell

out or they didn't put enough oil in or they put in transmission fluid instead something like that. So I checked all those things and everything was fine. Oil level was normal. The only problem is that when I start the car initially, everything is normal, the light is not on. But once the car warms up, when it's at idle, the light will either come on steadily or it'll flicker.

And then as soon as I increase the RPM, even a couple hundred RPM it will go away. Well I hate to be guilty of a rush to judgment and I won't be part of it because I think they did nothing wrong. Well there's one possibility. There is one possibility I think too. That they put in the wrong viscosity oil. Exactly. That you know if you would for example if you had been using 10W-40 in this thing

forever and ever, and they put in 5W-30, it's possible. Which they may have done. Which they may have done. And they would be within their rights to do that, because most cars use 530. Then in fact, it could cause a weak oil pump to now have so little pressure that it could make the light

flicker on and off at idle where the oil pressure is the lowest. Right, I don't think they did anything mechanically wrong, but I agree with my brother that they may have put in a different oil. Procedurally they may have done something wrong. On the other hand, we might be able to completely exonerate them because it's possible that they did nothing wrong and what's really wrong is the oil pressure switch has just given out okay coincidentally okay if I were to take a can of viscosity enhancer like STP or a banana and throw that in there I reserve the bananas for my exhaust pipe no I wouldn't be able to I wouldn't recommend either of those.

If you're going to do anything yourself, find the oil pressure switch which is located on this car right above the oil filter. And you can unscrew this thing and for a few bucks you can go to the Toyota dealer and buy a new one. And screw that in and see if that solves your problem. If it doesn't, then you really have low oil pressure because if your pump is good enough, yeah, it should produce enough pressure whether you have 1040, 530, 0W30, no matter what viscosity oil you have in there, the light shouldn't come on. But it might be on the hairy edge. Well I don't want to

be a chrome manion about this but could I just go back get my oil changed use 1040 and see if the light... on. It would be a wonderful test. And I think it's definitely worth it. Okay. See you, Bill. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Judy. Where are you from, Judy? Pocatello, Idaho. Hi, Judy. Pocatello. Yeah, what's up?

I have a 91 Accord, station wagon. on car talk. This is Judy. Where you from Judy? Pocatello Idaho. Hi Judy. Yeah what's up? I have a 91 Accord station wagon and around fall the hatchback started falling down. Whenever I would open it it wouldn't stay up. Yeah. And so my husband ordered replacement I think those are called their struts or something. Pistons. Yeah they're air compressed orata company's studies yesterday there there are compressed or something that he he ordered replacement for us and uh... they were expensive and we neglected to go pick them up and part of it

lived with the uh... hatchback falling down and uh... i'll get good at holding it up with the head that's right i think the grocery bags and the fact? Or the shoulder or whatever. But sometime in the spring, suddenly the hatchback started working again and it would stay up just fine. And so all spring and summer it worked fine and we thought, well it must have just been a fluke. Until the cold weather came back. Yes, and then October, it started happening again. It started getting those lumps on your head. Yes. And you wonder why.

I do wonder why, and I wonder, even if we get these replacement parts, whether or not we'll still have the problem. No, you won't. OK. No, what's happened is the pistons that are in there have leaked out. What's in there is a gas under pressure.

OK. So when you open the trunk, the pistons hold the thing up because this gas under pressure is pushing the rods out. All right. And then in order to close it, you must overcome this and compress that gas. Okay. Which fortunately is compressible. Yeah.

But fortunately, the weight of the hatchback is not enough to compress it, if everything's working right. All right. But when something leaks out, the weight is enough and the thing will either close very quickly or usually close very slowly at first. When the warm weather came, the increased temperature increased the pressure. Because if we remember our high school chemistry,

this would never remember our high school chemistry. But as you increase the temperature, the pressure goes up, so the thing worked all right in the spring and the summer and part of the fall, and then the cold weather came and you didn't have enough pressure. PV equals NRT. Something like that. Okay, I don't remember that much. I don't either.

I need it up. Okay, so if I do get the replacements, then it should work. They'll work, yeah. Because they will not have leaked, like yours did. Well, the boys at the The grocery store going to appreciate See you Judy. Thanks for calling. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Hey, the puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this Wait wait, don't tell me fresh air up first first. NPR News Now, Planet Money, Ted Radio Hour, ThruLine, the NPR Politics Podcast, Code Switch, Embedded, Books We Love, Wildcard are just some of the

podcasts you can enjoy sponsor free with NPR+. Get all sorts of perks across more than 20 podcasts with the bundle option. Learn more at plus.npr.org. This is Tanya Mosley, co-host of Fresh Air. Amanda Knox spent nearly four years in prison for a murder she did not commit. When she was exonerated, she made an unusual decision to befriend the prosecutor who argued for her guilt. Maybe he could help her make sense of her case. I spent years thinking about it and trying to understand it until I realized that I could

just ask. Listen to this interview on the Fresh Air Podcast. You have your job but you also have a life and you're not just one thing. Neither is the Here and Now Anytime podcast. Every weekday we break down the biggest story of the day and something else like a new trend everyone's talking about. It's here and now anytime, a daily podcast from NPR and WBUR. Hi, we're back. Listen to Card Talk with us, click and clack the Tappert Brothers. And as promised, here is the answer to last week's puzzle. Well, first, what was the question?

I usually give the question, and then I give the answer. And like I said, I know you're not gonna like this, but I'm gonna have to convince you that you're gonna have to like it. Because, remember my neighbor Frank? Yes. He says to me one day,

you know, I have five children, and half of them are boys. And I said, I'll get right back to you, Frank. Ha ha ha! And your question was very brief. How can that be? boys and I said I'll get right back to you. And your question was very brief, how can that be? How can that be? I have five children and half of them are boys. Now people immediately start thinking about dogs, cats, canaries and the like're figuring somehow or another he's he's you know And I mean, how could you have how can half I don't have five and then half

Right. Does he have half a boy? I Don't know. Well, he does. Oh And it would be correct to say that 10% of them are boys 60% of them are boys and a hundred percent of them are boys and 100% of them are boys. Oh! Therefore... They're all boys! They're all boys.

Half of them are boys, are they not? I don't like it. I know you wouldn't. I don't. But our winner liked it. Who's our winner? Well, I'm not going to send this person anything. The winner is Barbara Beck from the Cats in California, Los Gatos, California.

And for having her correct answer chosen at random from among all the right answers we got, you're not going to get anything, Barbara, because that was a stupid puzzler. And if you got the answer right, you are not going to get one of our great 10th anniversary Card Talk T-shirts. It is not a stupid puzzler. Let's have a show of groans. Let's have a show of groans from the studio. Everybody, everybody, the whole studio audience. Both of them.

Alright. Okay, but what we will send you, Barbara, is a t-shirt that says, celebrating 10 years of bad puzzlers. Congratulations, Barbara Beck from Los Gatos, Cali, Fornaia. Los Gatos, huh? Los Gatos, that's how we say it out there. The gates. That's how we say it out in California, man.

Los Gatos, huh? Los Gatos. OK, anyway, we'll have a brand new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show. And I promise it'll be better than this one, so don't touch that dial. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-CARTALK That's 1-888-227-8255

Hello, you're on what? Car Talk. Hi, my name is Jim. Hi Jim. How you doing? Well, I'm fine. How about yourself? Yeah, where are you calling from Jim? I'm calling from Millwood, Virginia Millwood, Virginia. Millwood. Sounds like a mill town. It was once. We have a mill. Hence the name Woodmill, Virginia. So what's up? I have a Ford Explorer. It's a 94.

It's got about 50,000 miles on it. Fifteen? Five-all. Five-zero, thousand miles. And it's got an intermittent problem what happened is you'll be driving along uh... on a perfectly flat uh... state of road and a parker not and if you're going up a hill

done not can be are incapacitating it can't sound like gunshot well my contract but it's really loud inside the engine and you lose power and all i've been able to do in those cases pullover and turn the car off and generally when I turn it back on again it's doing okay. Really? Yeah. And the knocking that you hear on a level road is worsened when you try to accelerate on that flat road? Yes it is. If you rev it up does the knocking get faster? Yeah sure.

If I put in the clutch and rev it up, there's no knocking, but if I let the clutch back out again the knocking is still there. Whoa whoa whoa! What? You put in the clutch and you rev it up the knocking goes away? Yeah I think. Yeah sure because he's taking the load off the engine. Yeah.

Oh but that... You confused my brother for a minute there, Jim. I had a theory though. I know. You don't hear me belly ache like that when my theories get shut down. It sounded so much like a stuck valve to me. Hey, but wait, I've got more. Yeah, good.

I've got more. Maybe this is what I said about the stuff My my my my my dear sweetheart parked it on on an incline Facing uphill and left it in first gear as you guys told us to do on on car talk Yeah, and without without the brake on and she got out We never told you to do it without the brake on you gotta put the brake on that's all right Just continue so anyway, so she gets you got out of the car and the car drifted backwards. It went clunk and went backwards.

And then it went clunk and went backwards again. Yeah. This is great. Now tell me, how steep an incline was it? Oh, that's... that there is... that's fairly steep. Irrelevant. No! It's irrelevant! It's not irrelevant.

It is irrelevant. It's not irrelevant! Jim says it's not irrelevant. What the hell does he know? If it were relevant the only thing that the only way that it could be relevant relevant is if when the car Slid backwards and they made the engine turn backwards. Yeah, that it somehow jumped timing No, and in doing so, didn't. Perhaps bent the valve. But it didn't jump timing and it didn't bend the valve. I agree with that.

Because most of the time, it runs okay. The problem existed before it drifted backwards anyway. This had nothing to do with it, so you can't blame this on her. I, no, I would never blame anything on her if she killed me. You were trying to. Of course he wasn't gonna blame it on her. Never. He was just giving us data, man. The first thing that came to my mind is that in fact I was I was

Persuaded by your use of the word knock and I thought it was really knocking Yeah, but I've come to believe that it isn't knocking that you have in fact a sticky valve I'm flabbergasted! This valve sticking then makes noise. Oh yeah! The physical stickiness of the valve. Oh yeah, a sticky valve makes a lot of noise. What happens when the valve sticks in the open position, the cam is turning and the cam is supposed to open the valve.

Yeah. Okay? When the valve is already open, all the valve train mechanism in between the cam and the valve has too much lash in it. So when the cam comes around to open it, it has to move all that stuff around. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve.

So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve.

So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a valve, it's a valve. So it's not a is already open all the valve train mechanism in between the cam and the valve has too much Lash in it so when that when the cam comes around to open it it has to move all that stuff and it slams against the valve stem yeah, yeah, and you hear duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck heartbeat. The noise can be gone and the thing running smoothly and incidentally you would notice a loss of power because you'd be knocking out one of your six cylinders. So you'd be running on five sixth power. But since you have now come around to my way of thinking, doesn't the fact that he steps on the clutch and revs up the engine and the noise goes away make you want to say what no not really well get out of that wise guy no it may not be a stuck valve it may be a collapse lifter. No but if it's a collapsed lifter. Then roughing it up like that

increases the oil pressure pumps the lifter up yeah and the noise goes away well I can understand that but now how do you explain that the thing rolled backwards when in first gear on it's just a reasonable kind of incline if there wasn't a couple of valves stuck open when they should have been closed? Yeah. How do you explain that? Yeah, how do you explain that? Attaway Jim, stick with me on this. Now see all this doesn't, it really doesn't fit together. A lifter is a great answer for revving up the engine. That's good. It also explains the noise, but it doesn't explain rolling backwards. We can assume that the rolling backwards has nothing to do with it,

but you must admit that a vehicle with only 50,000 miles on it. I will now integrate everything. Let me just say, a vehicle with 50,000 miles on it should have plenty of compression to hold the vehicle if it's in first gear. Yes, I agree. That should never have happened. I have a new theory. You have a stuck valve.

And you may have had a stuck lift. And a collapsed lift. No, no, you may have had a couple of stuck valves at one time. Maybe when your girlfriend parked on this hill, this famous hill. The valves were stuck in the open position so you had a four cylinder engine instead of a six cylinder engine. And bingo, you rolled. And hence the vehicle rolled downhill. So we can accept that. Now, when you rev it up on occasion, you are hitting that stuck valve with enough additional force to unstick it. The pistons, the connecting rod stretch theory.

No, no, no. That doesn't work. Yeah, yeah. The other day my brother discussed the connecting rod stretch theory. Yeah. When you rev up the engine. I'm still refining. But that doesn't work.

Because if the additional impact unstuck the valve, then when I let the clutch back out, it would stop. Yeah. Yeah. And as soon as you let the clutch out, it starts clacking away again? It starts again, yeah. You're absolutely sure of that? I am not absolutely sure of that. Oh, Jim.

I mean, the only thing that makes sense here is that you're wrong about the issue of when you step on the clutch and rev the engine the noise goes away and you just admitted under oath that you're not really sure that that's true if in fact that's not true then the stuck valve theory is perfect okay right let's go with that okay the question is now what do you do about a stuck valve yeah well you can try additives there were various additives that will work okay give it a, give it a shot. Give it a shot Okay, and it was unfair of you to be so harsh on us See you Jim. Hey, thanks for calling Jim. Thank you

That was a nice five minute call It's time for a break yet? Sure, why not? We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Want to know what's happening in the world? Listen to the State of the World podcast. Every weekday we bring you important stories from around the globe. In just a few minutes you might hear how democracy is holding up in South Korea. Or meet Indian monkeys that have turned to crime. We don't go around the world. We're already there. Listen to the State of the

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["Car Talks"] Ha! We're back and listening to Car Talk with us, click and clack the Tappert brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the... And the... The new puzzler. Yeah, okay.

This, which you said, by your own admission, was not interesting, not folkloric, not challenging, but it was automotive. It was automotive. It's like John Wayne when he was in his first movie, they asked his father, well how did you like him? He said, well he was tall. Ha ha ha ha.

Okay, challenge, okay, automotive is fine. Here it is. A fellow comes into the shop recently, the other day, a few weeks ago, last year, I don't know, maybe about nine or 10 years ago, and he complains that his Volvo, an older Volvo, is misbehaving. It seems to lose power, it sputters, it has difficulty climbing hills, and it's especially bad if the tank is less than half full. And we say, huh, piece of cake, it's a classic problem of the intake fuel pump being cup

hood. Many Volvos, for years and years, Volvos have had a pump in the tank, which is a feeder pump which pushes the fuel to the main fuel pump which is located outside the tank underneath the car. Got it? Got it. So when the in-tank pump fails, the car will still continue to run because the main pump will actually pull fuel out of the tank rather than have it pushed and assisted by this feeder pump or in-tank pump.

But it won't work great. It won't work great and the car will suffer from poor performance because of the fact that it hasn't got sufficient fuel pressure. Classic symptoms. Classic symptoms that he had. So he says go ahead and replace the pump for $900. See if I care. You guys are so sure of this diagnosis.

Go ahead. So we do it. Off he goes. Go ahead. So we do it off. He goes a week or two later. He returns and says, she's the car runs great, but my mileage is down. You must've done something. And we say, of course the first line of defense, we did nothing. We're innocent. How can we have done anything to affect your mileage? He says it's off at least 10%.

And we say, well, 10 percent is hard to measure. It is hard to measure. You say, fine. We throw him out on his butt. Of course. He comes back persistently a few weeks later and says, it's down even more, maybe 15 percent and getting worse. You did something wrong.

Again, we reassure him that we did nothing wrong. He says, I know it has something to do with that pump you put in the tank. Because it was coincidental. It was coincidental. So we go ahead and as a courtesy, we check his emissions, which are perfect, the timing and all that stuff. It's called placating. Placating, there you go. Before you throw him on his butt again.

And we throw him right out. And we come to realize when he returns for the third time with his lawyer. That he's right. That he's right. And even though we did nothing wrong, putting in the new pump made his mileage drop. Whoa.

He was absolutely right. It was because we put the new pump in that his mileage dropped precipitously. The repair was done correctly. The pump was installed perfectly correctly. And yet he was correct that by putting in the pump we reduced his gas mileage. How could this be? How could this be? How could this be? Yeah, it's good. Now if you think you know the answer... Does it have anything to do with the dead bodies in the trunk that they discovered later. No, not really. If you think you know the answer or you just have nothing to do at work

and feel like taking a guess, mail your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City. MAT 02238. Or you can email us your answer from our website, cartalk.msn.com. Just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And if we choose your correct answer at random, from amongst all the correct answers, you'll get one of our new Car Talk T-shirts.

It has our multicolored logo on the front and our new slogan on the back, celebrating 10 years of bad car advice. If you'd like to call us, our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, guys. This is Kate from Watertown right down the street.

Kate? Watertown, Mass? Watertown, Massachusetts. How are you? And I think I went to the same high school as one of your fine sons is going to right now. No kidding.

No kidding. Really? And did you graduate from that fine high school? I did graduate from that fine high school two years ago. And what state institution are you incarcerated in now? Currently I'm incarcerated in a fine institution in Providence, Rhode Island. RISD? Brown University.

Brown? Brown. Wow. I'm studying what? Computer science. providence rood island brown university well studying what computer science you can't laugh okay history and studying international relations uh... kidding and i wouldn't laugh at that no no no that's very important i'm calling you actually

with a relationship problem. Ah international? No. No. Okay. Different nature. Domestic relationship. Okay. Yes, domestic relationship. Yeah. I currently own this tiny little Suzuki Swift from 1990 and it drives me crazy Because every time I try and leave school it breaks down. Yeah So I need to get rid of this car. I need to move on with my life. Um Here's where the relationship problem comes in My boyfriend who also attended this high school who I've been with for almost four years Wow, did you meet him back there in high school? I did where does he go to school? He goes to tough

in high school? I did. Where does he go to school? He goes to Tufts. Oh, so there's a lot of traveling going on here. There's a lot of traveling going on. So he is definitely afraid of driving. I took him out for a driving lesson once and we were driving around in my father's car. And he was terrified.

I told him to slam on the brakes and instead he slammed on the gas and rammed it into a pole. was terrified told them to slam on the brakes and said he slammed on the gas and ran into a poll and he said he took that as a message that you should stay away he took that i'm from above that he should no longer yeah driving vehicle cool really want to learn how to drive the because it's driving me saying i have to pick him up i have to bring him to attend a contest i have to

i mean that's why i think you drive up the front line to bring him to his dentist appointment, I have to... I mean this boy makes me drive up from Providence and get him in Medford and drive him to appointments. That's great. It's not a good situation. No. So, he's purchasing a new vehicle. My dilemma is whether to get a stick shift which would make my life way way he is purchasing a new no no no I am yeah but my eventual goal is to get him to drive yeah no stick shift is out of the question absolutely out of the question yeah if he can't deal with stop signs and the light if he can't even distinguish between the gas pedal and the brake pedal. You wanna mess around with yet a third pedal

and a lever that has to be jiggle, diggle around? No. But I hate automatics. I feel like I'm driving a bumper car. What do you hate more? Driving all the way from Providence to Medford? To take him to a dentist? To take him to an orthodontist appointment?

Yeah. Well, I figured the other option is to train him in public transportation. Yeah, what's with that option is to train him in public transportation you know what's with that why doesn't he understand public transportation too lazy well i don't know he's too lazy because he has you at his beck and call no i would refer to him if i were you as geographically undesirable

and i would start looking for a guy in Providence Except all the guys in Providence are in the mob if you know what I mean. I don't mean that in a bad way Don't mean it no bad way But I mean you should consider that I mean as wonderful as this guy may be He may just be sort of a flash in the pan Despite the fact that you've been going with him for four years because I mean it's four years Which is nothing in the grand scheme of things It seems like an awful while it does now but your is my brother's 20% of your whole age My brother spent four years of his life just smoking cigars That's all?

Maybe more, Ash. We should figure it out sometime. Probably more. Oh, so then here's the other question. Well, I mean, I think it's time for a test, though. Because the question is, does he love you, or is he simply using you to drive him around? In which case... He better not be. It would be good to know that, wouldn't it? What if you started saying,

I can't make it to the Daut de Doncher appointment on Thursday at 2 30, I have a class in international relations. Well see, but I've tried that. I've tried the like cold turkey I'm not driving anywhere kind of method. I just never saw him. It was just kind of a bummer because I could never see him And yeah, because I mean don't forget. I mean there are buses that go to Providence There are he's taking he's taking a train once mm-hmm once It's not enough I know this is a one-sided relationship exactly what I was not saying exactly what I was gonna say he is is Relying on your good nature and your affection to take advantage of you.

Yeah, well, we've got to talk to this guy. I mean, because I am worried about you and I want to know what his intentions are. I want to know. Okay. Is he home? Can we call him? He's home. He's home right now? He's home. Give us his number. Okay.

Hold on. Wait, wait. We have to get off the air here. Oh, right, right, right. Okay, we're off. Go ahead. We're right now. Give us his number. Okay. Hold on. Wait, wait, we have to get off the air Yeah, okay. We're off. Go ahead. We're off now And that's area code 6 1 7. Yeah, and his name is Aaron Aaron. Yeah Okay, so hold on we're gonna get his number. We're gonna dial his number off the air So we want you to hold on and be quiet. Okay? Here we go. We're dialing One ringy dingy. Two ringy dingys. Hello?

Hey, is this Aaron? Yeah. Hey, Aaron, do you ever listen to the radio? Yes, I do. Oh, good. This is... You think you just want to trip to Florida, don't you? You didn't.

You didn't win squat. This is Tom and Ray Monyati from Car Talk. You ever hear us on National Public Radio? Yes, I have. Well, we talked to your girlfriend, Kate. Yes. And I don't know if she's mentioned to you, but she's getting a little tired of picking you up and driving you around all the time.

Yeah, she was a little concerned that you had you had like a hang down. She had to drive up to Providence to take you to the doctor and you refused to get a license and you refused to drive. When she told us the story we said... Oh, we planted the seeds of doubt. That, gee, it sounds like this guy is taking advantage of your good nature. We told her we'd call you and discuss it. Okay. Do you mind discussing it? No, I don't. No, no, she's not listening so you can feel free to say anything you want. Why won't you get a license for example? Well, it's a difficult subject. I did driver's ed. Yeah. I did all that stuff and I was driving around for a little while. You know, I was doing highways, I was switching lanes, I was doing all the stuff.

Cool! All the cool stuff, yeah. And I liked it, I enjoyed driving, but then I went away for a little while and I came back and I sort of started driving around. I got into a few little things and then school started and I got behind, everything got put off and then I never got it. I don't know, I don't have much of a cute they support but i mean how can you expect her to drive i mean it's like at what is it like an hour and a half for an hour ride provenance to to you you go to tops right yeah so she comes to visit you

yet you don't want to take the bus and it's really not about the great i've been there before i think well well. How many times have you visited her compared to the number of times she's visited you? I visited her like twice. But the thing is that... Well, how many times has she visited you? I don't know, but it's a totally different scenario because she's coming home and she's got... and she... oftentimes she has stuff that she has to do here anyway. So I'm kind of a side stop to that regard. Oh, so you don't think she's coming expressly for you, but she's coming to visit her folks, for example?

Well, sometimes. So she's just being a crybaby then when she says that she's driving you all over Hell's Creation, and it's not true! She lied to us, in other words! I would say that crybaby is a strong word, but not a true story. But I'm in the right ballpark though, right? Crybaby is a strong word. Oh Right well it would be false for her to say that every every time that she comes up here It is expressly to see me Here's the larger question if she said to you that she won't she wouldn't be coming to visit anymore Would you either get a license or be motivated to take the bus to Providence?

Well, what would you dump her? I wouldn't dump her. Well, I mean, she would certainly become, as we say, geographically undesirable. I mean, a girl who lives 50, 60 miles away. I mean, come on. I mean, I wouldn't go 50, 60 miles. And we're just wondering, would you take the bus to Providence every weekend to see her? Well, I mean, every weekend is a bit strong, but I would, no, I would see her.

Would you then split it 50-50 and say, look, you come up here one weekend, I'll come down there one weekend? Yeah. You would if you had to. Yes. Oh. All right, you pass the test, you're not a bum. Oh. Alright, you passed the test. You're not a bum.

You hear that, Kate? Yeah. Kate, I didn't know you were there. Geographically undesirable? Guys, you turned on me. No, we had to do that to find out if Aaron was alright. It was a setup. It was a good cop, bad cop thing, you know

We had to put you in the poorest possible light, yeah Okay. Well, I mean I Aaron passes my test he does he passes my test to accept Aaron. You gotta get a license. I know I know I know There's no future plans of doing this That is not true. I mean well. Don't fight kids. Well but we have to get him back in a car first and he's afraid of driving. Not afraid of, Aaron you're not afraid of driving. I don't think afraid is the right word. I'm a little bit of a henten because I haven't done it in a while. Yeah I mean I don't I don't think we should be forcing Aaron to get a driver's license because I don't think it's really necessary for

everyone to have a driver's license but because I don't think it's really necessary for everyone to have a driver's license, but I do think you should share the travel responsibilities with Kate a little bit. Yes. Right, and we have you taped. We have it on tape, so if you don't shape up, we're going to have to come down and lay a beaten on you. So you can kick back next week,

and then Aaron will be down to visit you. He will. Right, okay, we'll see. Have a nice time guys. Thanks. See ya. Bye. Bye.

Well, it's happened again. You vaporized yet another hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Berman. Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Crystal Ray and our engineer is Jonathan Marston. Our technical, spiritual and menu advisor is Mr. John S. Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marge Inovera. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot, assisted by our customer care representative Haywood Jabuzoff. Our staff

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Okay, now, I guess this is the point at which you give out the telephone number, Vinnie, is that correct? No, I think I'm gonna play Sweet Adeline on the glockenspiel you moron. The number is 1-888-CARD-JUNK. That's 888-227-5865. And if somebody wanted to buy CDs like men are from GM and women are from Ford, or some t-shirts or other things, would they call the same number Vinnie? No, you call up Toyota Jackson at the psychic hotline.

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