The Besties - The Besties 60 - An embarrassment of riches

Episode Date: June 7, 2013

Is it Christmas in June? Usually the period around E3 is like a desert in which the year's worst games are left to rot under the sweltering summer sun. But as you may have gleamed from the carousel of review scores on the Polygon homepage, we have been submerged by a flood of excellence: Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Call of Juarez: Gunslinger, The Swapper, Gunpoint, The Last of Us, Don't Starve, Remember Me, State of Decay and the list goes on and on. We discuss a few of those games this week, saving others for later this month. What about next week, you ask? Lean closer and I'll tell you a secret: next Friday we're streaming a special E3 video episode of the Besties live from Los Angeles. Before you run out the door and scream thanks to the heavens, be sure to listen to this week's episode. We'd hate for it to go to waste. 3:40 - Best pocket-sized daily vacation (Animal Crossing: New Leaf) 18:40 - Best sound effect of the year (Gunpoint) 26:23 - Halftime! 30:43 - Best way to start a forest fire (Don't Starve) 38:20 - Best way to die (The Swapper) 43:54 - The winner is... Theme song by Ian Dorsch Get the show: Download MP3" Subscribe to the podcast (RSS) Subscribe on iTunes Get the full list of games (and other stuff) discussed at www.besties.fan. Want more episodes? Join us at patreon.com/thebesties for three bonus episodes each month!

Did you guys see After Earth? Yeah, I saw it. That movie was fucking rocked. What? Did anybody actually see it? Did anybody see After Earth by M. Night Shyamalan and Gary Litta? I just played the trailer and looped it for an hour and a half and that was pretty much like seeing it. Did you say by Gary Glitta? Did you see that movie?

Did you? You seen that movie? You seen that movie? What's it called? Pray you did not. It's called After Earth that movie what's called pride in earth it's called after earth and it's got here's who's in it it's got will smith sorry do you guys mind if i finish and join this jolly rancher i think you're gonna spoil after earth i'm gonna do it but i don't want i don't want to spoil the good time i'm having with this jolly rancher no no go ahead it's great thanks Thanks for asking. It's got Will Smith in it. It's got his little cub.

It's got little Cub Smith in it. Jaden. Not so little anymore. If he did the intro to Just the Two of Us like he did when Big Willie Style, Will Smith's seminal album, came out, it'd be like, Dad, this is a very sensitive subject. It'd be like down there. Down on that octave. It would be like, Dad, this is a very sensitive subject. It would be like down there.

Down on that octave. Do you know? It would be in that range. What flavor is your Jolly Rancher? It's fucking grape, but pay attention. A grape? It's the only flavor that's worth putting in your mouth. Anyway, this movie's great.

It's about Jaden Smith. He's killing space tigers. Four out of four stars. My name is Justin McElroy, and I know the best game of the week. My name is Griffin McElroy, and I know the best game of the week. My name is Russ Frustick, and I know the best game of the week. My name is Russ Frustick, and I know the best game of the week. Oh, God.

I'm going to ask you guys a question that only the real Russ Frushtick would know. Uh-huh. Shalom. I don't think that was going to be the question. What did Tony Shalhoub tell us the day we first met Tony Shalhoub and he saved our lives in that bus crash? What sandwich? He said, oh, psych. Okay, that's the right answer. So the other one we have to jettison into space.

This is the besties where we talk about the latest and greatest in video games, movies, tech, film, sandwiches, Tony Shalhoub. The whole nine yards. This is our monk podcast, right? This is our monk cast. This is changing the name of it to Jiffy Shalhoub. Changing the title of the podcast to Jiffy Shalhoub. And it's a five minute long podcast just about what Shalhoub's up to. All the Shalhoub info you need in a Jiff.

That's our slogan. It's actually pronounced Giffy. So guys, what have you been into this week what's what's the hot hot new game i've been kind of out of the loop i don't have i died justin died in is now a ghost i i don't have any games i've been playing this week i do have a game i've been playing for like five weeks and i've wanted to talk about on the podcast every every single week and have not been able to do so until just now. Now, this game is still not available, right? But it will be before our next episode. Is that accurate?

Right, right, right. So it's never winner again, or is it Animal Crossing? It's the only two games. No, I've mixed some other shit into the mix, but yes, it is Animal Crossing New Leaf. When does it come out? It's out on Sunday. On Sunday. So people are going to listen on Friday and be like, I'm hearing all the spoilers about Animal Crossing New Leaf. When does it come out? It's out on Sunday. On Sunday.

So people are going to listen on Friday and be like, I'm hearing all the spoilers about Animal Crossing. Well, hopefully they read my review, which spoils the shit out of the game. Yeah. Spoiler alert, there's apples. Maybe. There might be apples if you're fortunate. There might be apples.

I have apples. I have apples, too. What are the odds? What's your actual best thing? It's the best vacation you can put in your pocket. I loved the game. I adore it. Like I thought I would.

But I found it super difficult to write the review on this one. But I found it super difficult to write the review on this one because trying to talk about what makes the game enjoyable at a high level is like super difficult. It sounds moronic. It sounds moronic. barfing up shitty casual buzzwords to to explain what what is about the game that that is so addicting and so pleasant yeah um because you say like oh it's every time you turn it on every day there's like new stuff for you to find and do and there's you can you can do chores for your neighbors and you can collect furniture and it's like that doesn't that sounds awful yeah that sounds miserable um so i i think the i think the reason the game succeeds as much as it does is because the world that it creates is so just nice to be in like it's just it's just

a nice place where everybody likes you and the furniture is well made. And so you just kind of want to hang out there for hours at a time. I get sort of a Minecraft-y vibe from it. It is very sandbox-y. It's not only sandbox-y, but because of the pace, it's so slow and like thoughtful and just like chill. and like thoughtful and just like chill that whenever you play it you know as if you were to have a vacation it's like sitting out on a chaise lounge and you're chill and you're picking apples and you're fishing and there's nice music playing and i described it as part part sandbox part zen garden which is like the only way i can think to describe like there's there's so much stuff for you to do

to customize yourself your house even your town at a you know a much larger much more in-depth level than the series has ever really allowed because you can build public works projects to sort of add little landmarks across your town and some some of them are you know functional some of them are new businesses but some of them is just like you know a bench yeah a clock i i'm personally like i've probably sunk like almost as much time as you have griffin into the game and i enjoy it i would say i didn't find it to be that dramatically improved over the last animal crossing game that i played which was the ds1 i think it was called wild world wild world yeah so they i mean they added all these public works things and you can customize

the town and like put lamppost places and stuff like that but they don't most of them don't really impact gameplay at all it's just a visual customization for your town there's no like they they do impact it to the extent that your neighbors will request certain things and you can fulfill those requests for them and there's there's you know tons and tons of them to procedurally unlock um yeah i don't know it also adds to your town's overall rating which is sort of an obscure metric that they never really reveal until you have perfected it i have a question yeah so you know how uh there's that that tale i don't know if it's true or not that miyamoto designs games based off of his real life right like he was in a cave and he's like mario yeah it just happened

no that was the philosopher actually that came up with mario in the cave oh, yeah? Yeah. Okay, what I want to know is what was going on in his life. Is this like a retirement game? Because when you talk about it, it sounds about as exciting as retirement. And this is coming from someone... You've played it, right, Plant? I've played, like, 45 minutes, and then I'm giving myself the plane ride to E3.

That's not really the way to do it, though. No, it's not. Every time I try to play this game, somebody tells me I'm playing it wrong. You're supposed to play it every day for about 20 minutes a day. Oh, I go way deeper than that. Yeah, I know. I do too. But you're supposed to play it for about 20 minutes.

It's actually kind of a slow burner at the very beginning. I would say for like the first five days, there's not enough shit to do. Well, I mean, you gasp, but I mean mean you really only have to play it like 10 minutes every day to you know move on to the next thing whether it's you know doing fulfilling your your mayoral application and you know putting down the payment on your first house and unlocking like some of the new shit i was actually a little frustrated by that though maybe it makes sense in the structure of the game but i i for the first few days i actually brought it on a on a plane i flew out to la last week and i brought it on the plane with me and i kind of like wanted to keep playing i was enjoying it but there you really get to a point

in those first few days where there just isn't much you can do yeah yeah um but i mean that only lasts for so long and then it is it starts to border i i'm actually at a place now where it is i it takes about 45 minutes to maybe an hour to do all the things i need to do well you're crazy no what do you mean is that not a lot or no that seems like way too much what do you what are all the things i'm very i'm very thorough, Russ. Wow. I'm an incredible, I don't want to brag, but I'm a fucking super good mayor. Talk to every single person in your town. I don't do that shit, no. Because they don't need to talk to, I don't need to face people.

You go to the island every day? Not as much as I used to, because again, I'm just so busy with work that who's got time to take in some fucking leisure time? When you say work work do you mean real life work or work in the game oh Christ no I haven't done any real life work since like February just been picking

the one other so again I really did enjoy the game but there were a few things I know for a fucking fact you're not done playing this guy is always hitting me up like I'm trying to get a balloon chair. Can you hook me up with a balloon chair? I got one, though.

But there are a few things that drive me nuts. How hard it is to find balloon chairs? A, yes. But also, since the beginning of the series, things like inventory and how tools work haven't changed. And they remain... They have if you're out of your mind. What?

One of the best things about this game is you can switch between tools okay by tapping the d this is this is all i want honestly is just icons on the bottom of the screen that signify my tools so i don't have to like so much of this game i spend micromanaging my inventory and like that's not fun just like once i find a shovel assume that i have the shovel with me at all times. Like, what's the big deal with that? I mean,

you know, it's like, it's like, think about, think about this game is a simulation of real life. Yeah. And I would, some might argue,

including myself, the best simulation of real life ever. And yet I can, I can carry an entire fucking living room set in my pocket. Right. Cause it's leaves. They turn Right, because it's leaves. They turn into leaves. There is some Animal Crossing magic, you have to imagine.

You take a leaf out of your pocket. Wait, is that what happens when you shut your DS? Everything turns into a leaf? No, when you put things in your pocket, you can take a bed, and then a wizard comes and casts a spell on it, and then it's a leaf, and then it just slides right in your fanny pack. Have you ever wondered if maybe it's a leaf. And then it just slides right in your hand. Have you ever wondered if maybe, like, it's a meta thing? Like, everything is a leaf, and you're carrying just one leaf?

That would explain the title of the game for certain. Yeah, because it's a new leaf. No, in Japan they call it leaf animals. I feel like I'm failing now using my unedited. I tried to do it this morning. I don't think there's any way to convey why it's enjoyable. But it super is, and it is in a way that works perfectly on the 3DS. Yeah, I can't play Animal Crossing like I've tried playing the console ones.

And the process of sitting down, turning on your console, loading up the game, and to like the process of like sitting down turning on your console loading up the game doesn't really it's just a pain in the ass whereas here i just keep it on my desk uh you know load it up every day and play for a half hour and then it's closed and i'm done for the day and i'll check it again tomorrow like that's the yeah best way to experience it um and it's it's it genuinely like when i get stressed out at work or just in my day to day like i don't know i don't talk to you guys about this much but shit's pretty rough for me right now yeah i just crack open the i'm just kidding things are my life couldn't be better i just crack it open and i just like just listen i could just listen to that music it's so soft it's so nice i have a it's like a

it's like an auditory ball pit i have a question griffin yeah please what what if you wanted to play like an african-american didn't it never really asked me like it's weird that you're constantly like making your avatars it's such an important thing. Yet it never asked me what I want to look like. Yeah. I don't know. That's a great question. You do have some sort of animal that lives in your town, because I've come to visit it quite a few times,

that seems to be a bear in blackface. What? I wanted to ask you if that was something that you did, like some sort of of horrible monstrous joke what? no he just he moved in I don't know I invite all

he moved in and you didn't like immediately report him as a troublesome citizen well not publicly you didn't like post signs around town like don't talk to this fucking creep until he leaves no i didn't have enough bells for the signs so that isn't you could actually do that that is a problem man i i spent so much time building an elaborate system of roads which takes forever and some fucking fool some clown was like i'm gonna move in your town and he did and he built

it right on top of the road right on top of an important junction in the road. I had to fucking build around this dude's house. And there's no way to kick people out of the town. No. I mean, I sent him letters with unflattering things. You can also apparently push them into holes, and they don't care for that quite as much. No.

They also don't like it when that hole is full of scorpions. Yeah. I don't like it when there's that hole is full of scorpions yeah i don't know i i i really liked it but i it it feels very much like an iteration like every year you think you're almost you think you're almost done no i'm still playing it but it doesn't i don't know i feel like certain things certain, ease of use things, like the tool thing and inventory management, and, like, maybe every time I walk into a convenience store, you don't fucking need to say, hey, how are you doing? What are you doing today? Hey, my name is...

Oh, so you want to be fucking rude. You want to be rude is what you're saying. You want to play Last of Us, not Animal Crossing, when people just fucking kill each other for gang goods. Guess what? I live in New York City. We don't say hello to every convenience store worker as we walk in. We buy our stuff and leave. If you walk into the convenience store and she just puts a pickaxe through your head right there.

That's the thing. That's everything you have on your phone. That happens in New York, too. I do wish that the tool thing irritates me, too. Yeah, like, there's no logic behind it. Just let me switch with, like, the shoulder buttons. The shoulder buttons aren't doing anything. Just let me switch between tools like, the shoulder buttons. The shoulder buttons aren't doing anything. Just let me switch between tools with the shoulder buttons.

You can do that with the D-pad. What do the shoulder buttons do? Oh, a fucking camera shot that I've never used ever. And one runs. I've used it, like, 30 times. I have a whole gallery that's just fucking painting a picture of my life. Okay, and the whole online thing, while it is a huge improvement from where it's been, of my life okay and the whole online thing while it is a huge improvement from where it's been still remains glacially behind every other video game ever after you do it once it's not so bad

it's setting it up that first time you have to fucking exchange friend codes you have to set up a play sesh offline like that stuff is inscrutable to me because if you're already friends if you've already taken the time to do that first step wouldn't you just assume that you'd want to see when you're when your friends are online right it's crazy town can you mail your friends stuff like is that i don't think you can i haven't tried crazy how much better would that be if i could like email send russ a letter that would be in his mail what What would you send me? Like a picture of myself, seductive. Seductive picture. Yeah.

I mean, you can do that IRL in the meet space. You could. The thing that I've really dug about it is just the random things that happen. Like, last night I was playing right before I went to bed because I had to get in before 11 and all the shops closed. You open up that late bird ordinance. Yep. Because I had to get in before 11 and all the shops closed to do anything. Open up that late bird ordinance.

Yep. There's a, and when I walked in, someone, one of the residents of my town, I believe it was Peewee the gorilla, asked me for my opinion about no memory of where he was trying to sail to. And then asked me, uh, set, asked me a skill testing geography question about where he was trying to get to. And then promised to send me a trinket from India. Once I helped him figure it out. Have you guys met the sea otter?

That is also a philosopher. Uh, anytime, anytime you can dive in this game, it's just one of the new things. Anytime you dive and you find, uh, you find an oyster or a scallop, this sea otter appears out of nowhere, and he's a philosopher.

And he's like, hey, man, can I get that? Hey, can I just get that real quick? So he's a homeless otter. I think that's the implication. Do you think all homeless people are philosophers? And sea otters also? Yeah. They're anamorphs.

And he takes it and he gives you a little nugget of wisdom. And a little piece of furniture. It's a furniture-based economy. Yep. God, I love this game. But get it, download it digitally, and then just fucking always have it with you. I'm excited to do some street pass with folks.

Oh, E3 is going to be all about... It's going to be off the chains. I'm excited to do some street pass with folks. Oh, E3 is going to be all about... It's going to be off the chains. I'm going to steal all your shit. No. We've talked about this for like 20 minutes. We have. That's way more than we needed to. It's a super good game, though.

People were asking me... I haven't played the other Animal Crossing games. Am I going to be missing anything? Oh, my God. Fucking dummies. You will miss out on having an inherent distrust of Tom Nook. I've been playing a game. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It's my award for best single sound effect of the year. Are you going gonna do it for us before you yeah it's like this okay that's a that's the closest like that that's is it like a spittoon it's more like a slapping noise it's uh the sound in gum point when you leap into a a surface you make a really fantastic noise when you land. Is it like you would have a plunger and you're climbing a wall? Like that kind of noise? Similar to that.

So Gunpoint is a 2D puzzle espionage game, I guess is the best way I can describe it, where you are a spy who's usually tasked with breaking into some sort of structure and retrieving data, usually hacking into a computer or what have you, avoiding guards and that sort of thing. So your main sort of the main tool you have at your disposal is this outfit called the bullfrog. It's a device that lets you leap much farther than any human should be able to. So sort of the hook of the critical gameplay hook of gunpoint is the moment when you charge up your jump. You actually control the arc of your jump with the mouse before letting it go and leaping forward.

And typically one of the classic injuries to a building is hurling yourself directly forward and smashing through a plate glass window to enter a building, which is always really great. I'm not hearing a lot about this sound effect. Well, this is the sound effect when you smack into a wall and you don't smash through glass. All this sounds really great,

but that sound effect in specific is fantastic. And it actually is mentioned by the designer, Tom Francis, who is a game journalist who has made the leap to development. They have a great director's commentary system where they're actually like him and the artist, small pixelated representations of them are in the level as you go through it and you just press W to talk to them. You can tell Tom Francis because he's the writer

and he's holding a giant pen. The artist is holding a giant paintbrush. So you know his dialogue when you see it. It sounds a lot like Animal Crossing. Yeah, basically. Sounds a bit like a vanity project to me. I don't know you guys. So the jumping is cool.

That's also how you take down guards is you leap at them. You can stick to any surface. You can stick to ceilings and walls, which is a great way of avoiding detection. You also have this device, which I believe is called the cross link, I think. Yeah. So you press alt, the alternate key, and you see sort of a wireframe of the building that you're in, and you see the way that all of the devices in the building electrically connect to each other. So you see a light is connected to the light switch, and you see the handprint scanner is connected to a door. And you can actually – and there's other devices like sound detectors and

things like that. So you can use the crosslink to rewire devices. So, for example, in one level, I rewired a sound detector to

open a door whenever the elevator arrived. So I took the elevator up, it triggered the sound detector to open a door whenever the elevator arrived. So I took the elevator up. It triggered the sound detector, a door across from me opened, and that caused the guard to go examine it, which allowed me to tackle him. There's a lot of stuff you can do with like when,

when you can shut lights off that way. And when you shut a light off, the guards will always go for a switch. So you can hook that switch into a door you shut a light off, the guards will always go for a switch. So you can hook that switch into a door you need to get into, or you can hook that switch into an electrical outlet and electrocute them when they try to trigger it. This is what

I want you to do, Justin. Okay. Now, describe everything you just described, but instead of using words, use sound effects. Only. Okay. Heart attack, heart attack, heart attack. That was the getting shocked. Right, but I don't think they have heart attacks.

I don't think people just have a heart attack when they get electrocuted and then they die. Sometimes they do. Gordon Bombay did. Gordon Bombay, sure, but... What? What? Remember he had a heart attack when they get electrocuted and then they die. Sometimes they do. Gordon Bombay did. Gordon Bombay, sure, but... What? Remember he had a heart attack. Okay, that doesn't... That's immaterial of this discussion. The game has this great jazz soundtrack

that it is super fun to play. It's really funny. There's some self-referential stuff. If you tackle a guard, you can punch him once to knock him out. And if you keep punching him, you'll beat him to death. And if you keep punching him past that, you get these prompts at the bottom of the screen

that say, okay, he's dead. And then if you punch 10 or 20 more times, it says, oh, Jesus Christ. And then you punch 10 or 20 more times, it says, there's not achievement for this. Seriously, you should stop. I think there's a problem. I'm making it up at this point but uh there's a lot of there's a lot of that uh fun fun kind of stuff and just the basic

gameplay loop of like setting up a trap or or figuring out your plan for infiltrating a place and then trying to execute on it uh is great and you know knowing that the lights are going to shut off at this exact moment so you can hang on the ceiling and wait till a guy turns his back to you um and and then tackle him it doesn't feel like anything else that i've played uh and and that is except for night right uh yeah oh yeah yeah it's nothing like night trap exactly no you said it's a lot like night trap i said nothing of the sort um but it's it's really cool it's on steam you can get it is it on Mac? no I don't know if it is on Mac I know it could work on Mac I mean it's not

all the art is you know fairly simple pixel based yeah because you know how to port the game to Mac no I just mean that it's not so graphically intensive this is not what you do Justin don't say what developers can and can't do I'm not going to build walls around people if that not what you do, Justin. Don't say what developers can and can't do. I'm not going to build walls around people, if that's what you're saying.

I was. It's $9. Okay. So just go get it. You can get it at gunpointgame.com, but go buy it, and you can have it. Let's hear that sound effect one last time. Heart attack, heart attack, heart attack heart attack heart attack lovely now is dana platto in this one too no no no it's actually nothing like night trap okay how did you plug

the light gun into your computer uh no there's yeah there's no light gun uh you can if you want to you can rewire an enemy's gun to trigger something in the building so he can he tries to shoot at you and he electrocutes himself or turns the lights off which is pretty what about the fucking security guard that's like comes in the next day and like goes to make toast and then the elevator explodes and he's like what the come on guys he turns on the tv to like to fucking catch the wheel and he goes to turn on the tv and the garage door opens and he's like god damn it and and then he goes to close the garage door and it flushes the toilet who's kevin kevin from home alone we are fucking just not getting on the same page at all today

what do you guys want to talk about half Halfie? We can talk about Fuller. No, we don't have this game on our list. I'm worried we're not going to talk about it. No, we can't talk about games during halftime. I just want to mention it. I want to mention it because I don't think we're going to have time next week to talk about it. Two weeks? I don't care.

We'll talk about it in two weeks. If you're listening to this, you should probably buy State of Decay and play it. Okay, we'll talk about it in two weeks. Shut up, you're listening to this you should probably buy state of decay and play it because it's okay we'll talk about in two weeks shut up plan you know what there you go now you know who doesn't like to have fun oh guys i just don't i just got back from la justin and i both did yeah and the thought of going back to la yeah it's a lovely lovely town bombs me out on a spiritual level and it really shouldn't because we were in lake arrowhead which is actually very very nice uh and we we swung down by newport beach just to see if i could scratch my the oc itch yeah we drove up past on the pch it was gorgeous drove up pch um

did you take the 10 um yes we took no we took one, but we took it 10 times back and forth. Newport Beach. I feel like DOC sold me a false bill of goods on the Newport Beach. Yeah? I don't know if you guys have been, but it's not all fucking yachts and lobsters. Isn't that where Arrested Development is supposed to be set? Yeah. Yeah, Balboa Bay.

There's a lot of hippies. There's a lot of hippies, and then there's a lot of conservatives. There was a lot of flies. There's a lot of flies. There's a lot of drum circling. Oh. I've never seen anything like the— Griffin and I both went in the bathroom because we'd just been driving for two hours,

and there is literally a— both been we've just been driving for two hours and there is literally a i mean i don't know how to describe it other than a swarm of of flies like circling the middle of the room like you could just see people sort of walking around this this this cloud of bugs that had claimed dominion over over this bathroom let's pause for a second you guys drove two hours to go to Newport Beach. I wanted to fucking see, I wanted to walk the same beach that Sanford Cohen, Sandy Cohen, as his friends know him, but we're not that close, so I'll stick with his proper Christian name,

or his proper Jewish name. They make a big deal out of that in the show. It's not like a Christmas. Christmas cut is a big, I wanted to fucking, I wanted to put my foot in the same sand that has been blessed by Sandy Cohen's toes, by Kirsten's toes, Kiki,

as, as her dad calls her. I just wanted to be a part of their, I wanted to be a part of their fucking world for like a second, but you, you had no taste of it. It was not shot on location, which is bananas.

They shot it all in Redondo, which is like, just set the show in Redondo, you guys. If you're going to film it all in Redondo, that's like an hour north. Why didn't you, wait, why wouldn't you just drive to Redondo? Because I didn't Google it ahead of time. I got to Newport and I said, none of this looks familiar. And I Googled it and it was like no we just arbitrarily called it newport beach think even though it's redondo think of all the fans that you could have been meeting in the time that you were wasting

hanging out at newport you think there was a you think there was a convention going on almost like there was a convention going on savvy fans who knew exactly where the show was filmed yeah i'm gonna hit it up at e3 though i'm gonna sneak away for a bit that's a good idea dondo it's not gonna be too busy during e3 so i'm i'm writing starring in and filming a sequel to the sc you should kickstarter it i'm gonna kickstart it it's gonna be called the dondo and it's it's class it up call it la dondo la dondo actually previously on la dondo oh man would you guys watch it no i know you don't know anything about the plot but you know where it's filmed and you know the title and you know that i'm attached

to it and sandy cohen's in it see i'm gonna try but peter Gallagher's real busy. With his band. And his eyebrows. All day, just hacking away at him. He's doing another performance of Noises Off, guys. Noises Off? Anybody? I know it. Is that? No? Someone else talk about a video game

so I can find my ground. I'm going to talk about a video game now. My best thing this week is the best reason to start a forest fire. Because it's cool to do. It is super cool to do. It makes more room for buildings and roads. That's exactly it. And if you wanted to park somewhere, you can't just park in the forest.

You've got to park in a parking lot. So get that forest out of here. Don't it always seem to go that there's just not enough parking spaces in the woods? Yeah. don't always seem to go that there's just not enough parking spaces in the woods yeah you know they've said that like sometimes it feels like you don't know what you have until there's a parking lot there right because you can't you have nowhere to fucking leave your car and get out and appreciate the things that you have right exactly that's right exactly that's what i'm saying i care a lot about worms in my apples i am so glad that pesticides were invented so my there's actually a game associated with this love of starting forest fires and it's called don't starve um it's made by the people behind mark of the

ninja and eats and name another one plant Plant. Sugar Rush. That never came out. Shank. Shank. There you go, Shank. I can't believe you guys forgot about Shank. Yeah. So Don't Starve is sort of like Minecraft meets A Binding of Isaac.

It's a roguelike where you're essentially just trying to survive. And in order to do that, you've got three statistics you need to worry about. One of them is mental state, which is based on whether there's light around you. One of them is health, which is based on people attacking you, monsters and such. And the last one is food, hence don't starve. So the light thing is what I wanted to call attention to, because essentially the game has an in-game clock and obviously night comes

and if you don't have a fire going when night comes you pretty much die almost instantly because it becomes pitch black and monsters come out and eat you and you die of fear why don't they call it don't die they could have, they just went another way

or alternatively just live yeah that's a positive way of looking at it so uh i was in a state where i was essentially just learning the game a lot of the game is sort of just figuring out as you go and dying and starting from scratch and then going from there again and i was just starting out and it was like my second day and the first day I was able to get enough equipment for a fire some logs some flint but on the second day it was becoming nighttime and I had nothing all I had was about 10 percent of my torch left you can use a hand torch to like keep fire around you and stuff like that but it was about to run out and night was

coming and I couldn't help but notice that i was standing in the middle of a lush animal-filled forest and i walked over to a tree and lit it on fire and the tree was burning and provided much more light than my torch was providing me and that was good but the tree was going to go out um because trees only last for a few seconds while they're on fire but lucky for me the fire that i but the tree was going to go out because trees only last for a few seconds while they're on fire. But lucky for me, the fire that I lit the tree with actually spread to another tree. And another tree... Lucky for all of us.

Lucky for all of us. And then within about a minute, there were 300 trees on fire. And essentially, I was chasing the trees that were on fire to stay in the light so that Vin Diesel wouldn't come out and kill me. Is Vin Diesel afraid of fire like some sort of Frankenstein monster? No, he excels in darkness. Oh, there's a pitch black goof. Yeah, that's what that was.

Hey Griff, when you said goof, did you use air quotes? Just wanted to make sure. Well, it's not my fault I didn't get the reference, come on so it wasn't much of a reference it was a deep cut, what can I say it was kind of like that time he was in Noises Off anyway, what I wanted to impart

is the sort of interactive fascinating very evolutionary gameplay in this game where you essentially can use a lot of the environments in ways that you wouldn't imagine. Like ordinarily, I would just go up and chop down some trees and get some wood. But what's more fun than that

is starting a giant forest fire and staying alive that way. So I did, and it was awesome. You ever play far cry 2 yeah yeah but that doesn't have any gameplay implication at all in far cry 2 what you can't like use fire i mean you could try to use it as a combat mechanic but it really does not work it's in it thought i thought it was pretty invaluable no yeah false well did you play on casual no i played on ultra hard.

Oh, so yeah, on ultra hard. Has anyone else played this game, Don't Starve? Yeah, I played it. It's really good. Yeah, I really like it. Are you wanting me to add something? No. It sounds interesting.

Is it on iPad? It's not. It's on Mac and PC. You can play it on your MacBook Air. I played it quite a bit. One of the things I really enjoyed about it was that the... It is a roguelike, but there is some persistence, which is sort of like the only thing I require to make a roguelike playable.

When you... There's a research machine, and I'm being general because this is how the game approaches it. There's a research machine that you can'm being general because this is how the game approaches it there's a research machine that you can use to create new sort of recipes new items that you can craft to help you know extend your lifespan and you get research by feeding it things things that it hasn't eaten yet so each thing you find has a certain amount of science in it like you throw a pine cone in there and that gives you some research uh and and that's actually the research progress that you

make is actually uh consistent between all of your playthroughs i didn't realize that yeah so research you do will actually carry over to the next one so it gives you a little bit more structure if that's something you're interested in. It gives you a bit more structure because, you know, the next time you go back, you'll be able to make a rope or a hat or what have you. Plant, why didn't you say that? I didn't want to ruin the game. See, the joy of this

game is not knowing any of the stuff we're talking about and going into it totally blind. Yeah, but a lot of people don't want to spend money on a game they don't know anything about. Yeah, you know what? I don't want to spend money on a game they don't know anything about yeah you know what i don't want to spend money on animal crossing okay you don't have to boring sounding and now i'm gonna end up having to try it and i'm gonna fall in love with it and i'm gonna marry it and i'm gonna have to say goodbye to my wife you're gonna miss her i'm gonna miss her a lot but i'm gonna be like don't worry i've got this

otter and he's philosophical and he gave me new furniture i have a animal crossing wife oh yeah yeah rachel actually got super jealous her name was gail she's she has since left no this is true uh she was a uh she was an alligator or maybe a crocodile she was pink wow you can't tell the difference? I know. She didn't have ridges. Which one is that? No, the crocodile has a long, thin snout. It takes a nice, thin snout. She sent me letters every single day on Prompted.

Every single day. Whoa. And a lot of them were just like, I found some new stationery. Do you like it? Do you like me? Do you want to fuck? Yeah, she wanted it.

She wanted it as bad as Xander Cage wanted it in Triple X. Oh, my God. It makes me so angry. Chris Plant, what are you talking about this week? I'm bringing Best Way to Die from a game called Swapper. No, The Swapper. Oh, Don't Starve is a good way to die, too. Maybe I shouldn't be so hyperbolic with my award,

but I guess that's the name of the game, because it's called The Besties. So The Swapper is a puzzle game, 2D, kind of like Gunpoint, set in space, and you are a space person And you have a magical device Called the Swapper Are you a guy that was born in space or did you fly there? Do you know what?

I just wrote the review I spent an absurd amount of time Trying to discern whether I am playing as a man or a woman And I went with woman So details not exactly not exactly rich in forced character development. Well, you know, maybe it's kind of leaving it open so that it is a vessel for the identity you would see fit. Maybe my crocodile wife is in there.

Maybe it's your pink crocodile wife. Gale, so you have this device, and it allows you to create up to four clones of yourself anywhere on the screen, and they mirror all of your actions. You also have the option to, like, swap your soul into any of those clones. So if you, like, walk, they walk. If you jump, they jump. And if you die, they die. But jump they jump and if you die they die but if they die you don't die what if you race like dominic dominic terretto races yeah oh they'll race

just like you just like paul awesome who's hosting this call me okay are you trying to drop for us just if he does one more Vin Diesel goof He really is jettisoned into the afterlife I'm gonna wait until he mentions the tooth fairy And then I'll be like, oops, the rock You messed up So you're waiting for a gross factual Vin Diesel error All this shit has been really stupid so far

But it's been right right it's been like correct i want to vin diesel the rock configuration and once that happens i will i will ban him um from the show and from working here so the swapper you guys you you you use your clones and your ability to swap into them to solve spatial puzzles uh and that's pretty much it it's really simple um but what's really cool about it is it makes you kind of question uh life and what you're doing with it and also your sense of identity because oftentimes you have to solve a puzzle by jumping to your death and at the last minute creating a clone safely on the earth below and swapping into it and then you see your old body crumple and there's this horrible sound it makes that is

the opposite of the justin sound that sounds like a thousand tiny bones just snapping inwards and it's horrible can you do that with your mouth um no it's not It's pretty good. I can imagine. We're a bunch of regular Michael Winslows today. But yeah, it's an interesting thing where I realized I probably killed like a thousand people in this game. But the only people I killed were former versions of myself. Whoa. It sounds a lot like a movie.

It's a good way to make you think about all the dead bodies in your game it sounds like a movie that i don't say the prestige because no i wasn't gonna say the prestige shut up chris plant oh god no he was gonna make us think he was gonna say a fucking vin diesel movie no i wasn't i wasn't actually i was gonna make a but i i hesitate saying the movie because it's kind of a major spoiler to that is it the prestige it's not again because that's the end of the person it's kind of a major spoiler to that movie. Is it the Prestige? It's not. Again, a spoiler. Because that's the end of the Prestige. It's a movie set in space. I just spoiled it for everyone. I mean, if they haven't seen it by now. Yeah, that movie's actually good. Don't spoil that movie.

Okay. But I think the audience probably knows what I'm talking about. But now every time somebody watches a space movie they've never seen before, they're like, is this it? Is this the one with clones? And then they'll be surprised when it finally is. I'm talking about Ghostbusters 2. Yeah. In space.

Jason X. Also, it just feels good, as dark as it feels to see your dead body crumple. There's something, like, really fun about, like, throwing your body willy-nilly. Like, do you remember, like, that skate game? Oh, yeah. Skate. Where you could just, like, bail on a trick and just watch your body just wreck itself what do you do with your body after it's lifeless have sex oh it just it goes away i mean it just no i mean you personally it'll disappear like in real life when you die what

happens yeah like in real life how you you die and then it just disappears and then uh um mara downey comes takes you by the hand she says ihuh. She says, I've got good news. Uh-huh. And then, you chill in heaven. You just go chill in heaven for the, for the rest of,

you know, time, I guess. Yeah. And your body goes in the ground and is absorbed by Mother Gaia, the live stream. And then,

um, it's reborn, but your fucking, your brain is already up in up in heaven so who's in your body yeah vindy solace he's every we should chronicle this what in like a series yeah sure this is an idea of chronicles yep this is my idea for swapper dlc co-op co-op dlc and it's the it's another it's another person and you all create each of your four clones and then all 10 of you die of old age in each other's arms this is just like the prestige do you pair off or do you no no no it's kind of like a it's a huddle of it's a huddle of love okay which is the name of my reality show starring the swapper what was your wasn't your best thing like best way to die yeah because that is the best way to die that is the

best way to die enraptured in the loving arms of nine of you can you think of a better way to die than that i guess that's pretty good. I mean, I guess with my family and loved ones and stuff, not just myself. This is making me sad. I'm already sad about E3, and now I'm sad about this. Why are you sad about E3? I'm not sad about E3.

I'm sad about going to LA. Yeah, me too. Sorry, LA. I'm a little sad about E3. I did all the LA things that I actually like doing, and so it's just like, now it's just driving. We put our hands inside of Adam Sandler's hand marks outside of Man's Chinese Theater.

What? I received the fucking quickening of comedy. The rest of Nate Griffin was much funnier. He channeled through me. He looked at me dead in the eyes eyes and he was like, shampoo is better. I'm like, don't even start. Actually, he said stop looking at me, Swan. Stop

looking at me, Swan. I was like, hey buddy, squeeze edge. I really like squeeze in the juice. You put your hands in Pauly Shore's? No, Pauly Shore. It's confusing.

Adam Sandler did it first, then Pauly Shore took all the comedy out of there and poisoned the well with himself. Went back in time and filmed Biodome. My name is Riddick. I live in the dark. Okay. I like Animal Crossing a lot, so I have to say that Griffin probably had the best thing this week. I think that's probably fair. We've been spreading these around evenly, right?

Like we discussed? Yeah, they're pretty well distributed. Do you guys agree that Griffin probably was the best? Which one was Griffin's? Animal Crossing? Oh, yeah. He probably won. Amino Crossing.

It's about... Amino Crossing. It's the story of Gregor Mendel as he discovers genetics. So that is it for our show. Congratulations to Animal Crossing and by extension, Griffin. We wanted to invite you next week to really a symphony of video game coverage unparalleled throughout all of history uh on polygon.com no fresh no presh we're just not only bringing you all the news from what looks to be the the the most if i may explosive e3 in seven or eight years uh we're also doing

live video shows uh every day we're doing 11 shows all together we're doing a pre-show Sunday around noon wait no we're doing 12 where did you get 11 it said in the post 11 now I wrote in the post 12 so it's 12 shows don't undersell our live coverage Justin McElroy we're doing

a live streaming show on Sunday afternoon we're doing four on Monday to covering all the press conferences. And then we're doing morning and afternoon shows Tuesday through Thursday called Hi Polly in the morning and then Wireframe in the afternoon. Those are all going to be streaming and available on the website if you miss them. That's just the video streaming. Wait, you forgot one. Of course, we're going to.

What's happening on Friday? Oh, that's right. The besties. A video program that you will enjoy because we are on it and you listen to this. How are we going to edit live, edit out the self-effacing anti-Semitism that Russ Frost has done every single week? Good luck. The answer is we we are not um so there's a full

schedule of video stuff on the on the website polygon.com if you want to check that out and uh we've got a a new hero at the top of the website with lots more people don't know what a hero is i'm telling them you dumb motherfucker it's pronounced. It's a hoagie, actually. And so we got that top hoagie with all the stories in it. We got a new article page for you to enjoy. We are so ready for E3. We're going to be bringing you so much video game coverage that you're going to barf

and poop at the same time. So make sure you check that out. Make sure you're on a toilet in front of another toilet while watching our coverage. And make sure you check that out. Make sure you're on a toilet in front of another toilet while watching our coverage. And make sure you join us again on Friday for The Besties. Because shouldn't the world's best friends pick the world's best things? The Besties!