The Besties - The Besties Game of the Year 2013 Video Special - Part 1 (Audio Only)

Episode Date: December 30, 2013

The time has come! Just like last year, The Besties have come together to celebrate the holidays and decide, once and for all, which game will be crowned the very best of 2013. We narrowed it down to 16 games (four of which came direct from the audience) and pit them against one another in ultimate combat. Who will win? Who will lose? Only one way to find out! (By the way, Part 2 will go live next Monday, December 30. Soon after that, we'll notify the winner of the bracket contest.) Theme song by Ian Dorsch Get the show: Download MP3" Subscribe to the podcast (RSS) Subscribe on iTunes Get the full list of games (and other stuff) discussed at www.besties.fan. Want more episodes? Join us at patreon.com/thebesties for three bonus episodes each month!

We're gonna get pizza at the break, right? Yeah, we're gonna get pizza at the break. How pizza do you guys like? Okay, can I remind you guys of something? If it looks like we're talking to each other in a show format, it doesn't work for the opening intro riff. It's gotta be, like, off-the-cuff, like, we would just... Alright, let's just start.

Be bopping and scatting. Just some friends. Free associate, I'm gonna say words, and then you guys just, like... Okay. People have to believe this is how we actually are. Go. Hit me. Hit me! Boy boy i sure do like pizza cheese pepperoni of hamburger spaghetti sauce on the bread christians observe christmas differently from their jewish friends i went to hebrew school

didn't learn a thing. My favorite kind of cookie is a snickerdoodle at Christmas time. Hey, here's another rhyme from Chris. I like to celebrate Christmas, and my name is Chris. Duh.

Now here's Griffin to finish us up so we can talk about the games. I wanted to talk about pizza. I wanted to talk about pizza because that's something that I actually do. I actually have a legit question about this. Do you like New York pizza when you visit? Have you ever had like actual New York? Okay, this is also a bullshit thing. As somebody who has been imported into New York,

this idea of legit New York pizza, I don't know what the fuck this is. No, no, no, no, but it's like, shut up so many types of pizza. Shut up, shut up, shut up. So many games. We haven't even started yet. Shut up. Shut your fucking mouth. I hope none of these games are as contentious as pizza.

My name is Justin McElroy and I know the best game of the year. I know the best game of the year. No, go on. You blew it out already. My name is Griffin McElroy, and I know the best game of the year. My name is Christopher Thomas Plant, and I know the best game of the year. My name is Ross Prussian, and I know the best game of the week. I specifically requested the no rushing section.

There's a sign behind my chair I didn't notice. It says, you may get annoyed, you will get pissed. This is the besties where we talk about the latest and greatest in sports, tickets, MMA, lights, ladders, screens, windows, people, TVs, games, everything. And this week we're talking about games. Bringing it back to where it all began. Picking the best games of the year. Do you remember when we had that like 20 episode arc where it was just ladders and tickets?

It was so long. I was just naming things I saw in the room. We were reinventing ourselves. One of the many times we reinvented ourselves. We're like, what if we tried tickets for a while, and then that wasn't enough to fill a whole hour, so we're like, got to get some ladder talking. When they introduced that second step, not like the top step,

but like the safety step right below it, that was like huge innovation. That was a big deal. That was a big discussion. Yeah. So here's what we've got. We've got 16 games. 12 of them are selected by us, and four of them were selected by you at home.

And we are going to pit them against each other. We have four, what did you say, loose groupings? Divisions, if you will. I know you're not much with the sports, but they call them divisions. Four divisions. Four hemispheres. Four hemispheres. In the first division, we have sequels.

Grand Theft Auto V, Assassin's Creed IV Black Flag, Saints Row IV, and Fire Emblem Awakening. Is that really a sequel? Yeah. Oh, are you kidding me? Yes, absolutely. For the sake of the bracket. Also, Martha's back.

Give me a break. Next division, Originals, Tower Fall, Terror Way, Rogue Legacy, and The Last of Us. Oh, God. In the third division is revamps. Now, these are technically part of a series, but are a bigger sort of paradigm shift than the sequels category. We have Tomb Raider, Bioshock Infinite, Super Mario 3D World, and Zelda A Link Between Worlds. Last up is the experimentals category. We have Kentucky Route Zero, Gone Home, Brothers, and The Stanley Parable.

That's a lot of great games. Holy cow. A lot of great games. Holy cow. A lot of great games. Now, before you get up in knots about the different divisions, it was just a way to group them, people. It's really hard to group all 16 games into, like, four equally spaced divisions. So some of those could probably be considered sequels

and they're revamped. Listen, we needed the indies to have a chance. Because if you put, like, a Gone Home up against a Call of Duty Ghosts... Where is Ghosts on this list? Guys, we forgot. How does the fans not jump in? It gets a buy, actually. It gets a buy and then...

For the entire competition, unfortunately. Okay, so you know at home, Ghosts is our game of the year. But, so, I say, like, listen. Let's get into it. First battle. Where are we starting? Let's go to sequels. Okay.

It's going to be an easy one, right? We're going to start off big. Grand Theft Auto V versus Assassin's Creed 4 Black Flag. What is up? What's up? So, you want people to kind of just give a basic setup. Set it up. So, I reviewed this game.

So, I'm going to. Grand Theft Auto V. Real short. Grand Theft Auto V. Keep it up. So I reviewed this game. So I'm going to give you a real short, real concise. Keep it tight. They took all the beauty and majesty of the giant open world from Grand Theft Auto 4, which was set in New York, moved it to Los Angeles,

and then they added this thing called Fun, where the game had a sense of humor about itself, finally, and you could do lots more that wasn't just boring driving around and shooting people. And a lot of the boring side activities of Grand Theft Auto 4 became at least more interesting for me

in Grand Theft Auto 5. There was more color. And there were more characters, which is an idea that I think everyone's going to rip off pretty soon, which in this game, you can switch between three protagonists. COLTON OGDEN WHITEHEADEDEVILLEHOOSEYKMAKER1 Are we counting GTA Online in our considerations?

I think we should. I think we have to. But they call it a standalone game. Like, that is their message. That's horse hockey. We added the review. We added the GTA Online section to the review. I mean, not that, as far as we can tell,

Grand Theft Auto Online has added really anything substantial to the GTA 5 experience. Going up against GTA 5 is Assassin's Creed 4 Black Flag. Oh, yeah. Sure. substantial to the GTA 5 experience. Going up against GTA 5 is Assassin's Creed 4 Black Flag. This is the 7th or 8th in the series. It's a billion. This is the new big tentpole Assassin's Creed 4.

It takes you to the open seas. The Caribbean. The Caribbean as Edward Kinway sailing around the ocean. Lots of it's definitely an evolution in terms of actually making fun side activities. Right, they Far Cry 3'd it up. They Far Cry 3'd it up a little bit.

This is Ubisoft's defining moment of their strategy of let's do Far Cry 3 in all of our games because that did super, super well. Yeah, I'd also say it felt like a return to Assassin's Creed Brotherhood where it felt like a return to assassin's creed brotherhood where it was like oh like we need to make sure not just the main story is the focus we need to make sure all the side quests are fun and engaging as well um just moving around the world and doing stuff in this game needs to be fun so better uh better main quest better story it's a

it's an evolution and sweet pirate shit around the clock. I think it's safe to say that everyone at this table despised Assassin's Creed 3 pretty consistently. And it says a lot that me as being really pissed off Assassin's Creed 3 came back and was like what you got, Assassin's Creed guys?

And they totally sold me on it. Collectible sea shanties also. Absolutely. So, I ask this very tenderly. I think we should try to keep it calm, keep it polite. Okay. What's our initial read on this? What do you guys think? I'm so torn, man.

My opinion on GTA V has soured pretty significantly since I finished the game because it was super fun and they did get back to uh I liked San Andreas way better than I like GTA 4 yeah um because it didn't take itself seriously it had um I just liked the setting of San Andreas much better I felt like it was more open much larger there was more stuff to do, and GTA V gets back to that. But I just hated every single character and every single line of dialogue in that entire game. It was so, like... This is GTA V you're talking about.

GTA V, yeah, and it's what they were going for, which I guess, like, kudos, but every single, like, sentence that was uttered was so completely despicable, and not in, like, the playful, like, hey, hey, hey way, but to where it was, like, honestly, by the end of it, getting, like, kind of hard to stomach the garbage. Yeah. I'm not saying it was poorly written. I'm saying, like, they made the most, like, just horrible human being. Well, I think you could make an argument for poorly written in that it didn't have... I don't think it had a salient, interesting point to make

with all the cynicism and meanness. I think that you can make an argument that the dialogue is better than a lot of games. But I think as a cohesive story, I don't think thematically it had a lot to say other than everything is shitty. I think it is actually the opposite. I think it is one of the most interesting games in the GTA series in terms of having something to say other than everything is shitty. I think it is actually the opposite. I think it is one of the most interesting games in the

GTA series in terms of having something to say. I think all the male bullshit. So much of the game is about the male persona and machismo and that sucks. I have no interest in that. But what I found interesting is that throughout this game and this is something you actually had an issue with while you were playing it

you are doing all of this work and you're not getting any money. Like it keeps keeping money away from you, which is so the opposite of what you expect from a Grand Theft Auto game. And what I love is that it's putting the idea of Grand Theft Auto on its head. It's showing that you get into this lifestyle and you get deeper and deeper in the shit and you get less and less for it. And there's always going to be people who are above you, who are going to use you,

whether that be crime or the government or somebody. And I like that idea. Well, I think it's worthwhile. If you're looking at it from that lens, it's interesting that the only way to actually make money is to gamble the stock market. To play the legal but horrible bet. is to play the stock market. To play the legal but horrible thing. At the same time, we just sang its praises for being this return to form of fun stuff to do.

And I didn't spend a dime until I finished the final heist because you get 90% of the money that you get throughout the entire game by playing the final heist. And it's like you can't afford most of the stuff. See, I don't think that's true either because in terms of weapons and stuff, I never had an issue buying anything. The problem is it makes you think

that you can't buy anything because it's setting these numbers so high and in your face it's like, you're going to get up a jillion dollars and then you get like 70,000. But the reality is everything in the game, except for planes, is underneath that price. And the properties are meaningless. Which is, again, a pretty the properties and the properties are meaningless

which is again a like pretty great critique of the entire system i think we're all uh focusing on uh you know the story obviously there can be complaints uh about the characters absolutely and the writing absolutely like i personally liked uh the trevor stuff i thought it was well acted and like funny um didn't care for like michael's story and franklin's story was like a joke it's a wash but i would say the thing that we should really be focusing on because it's by far the most impressive aspect by a mile that torture scene was just so great i don't know about you guys but i got my heart of race is uh this world that they created. Yeah. Like, no one ever has made a video game world that is this believable.

Name another world. Not believable. I thought you were going to end that sentence with a different word. No. Okay. I would say believable from block to block. Every aspect of the city feels like a city

that I could live in. Yeah. And it looks gorgeous. Complete with the long freeways connecting the different like regions of the city which inexplicably at the end of the game they make you drive up and down in every single mission like yeah i'm not i don't mean to like cut the cut the rug out from one of you because like the world is incredible but it does have these long stretches where there's nothing

and it makes you thoroughly but i but even when i nothing. But what we're talking about, what you're talking about is an issue of resources. Given X amount of time and dollars, anybody can accurately replicate a world. False. So false. No, no. There is no artistic inspiration to creating a digital world like that.

You throw enough money and people at it, and it will be there. Yeah, let's look at another game that came out this year that we'll get to in a little while is Bioshock Infinite. There are plenty of projects where people throw money at something. I'm not talking about making an interesting world. I'm talking about making, like, if you want to try to replicate the scale and scope of LA then you pay a bunch of money and have a bunch of people

creating an environment. Here's 64 buildings that we can pick from. It's a pretty serious undertaking from an art design standpoint, from a city layout standpoint. Let me also rephrase what I think Freshick is trying to get at too. Not only does it feel believable

like when you're there it's like like, wow, this is LA, but it's also usable and playable. Right. And that's like, that's difficult. To somehow reduce an entire culture, which they do pretty well, even while I don't like the cynicism, boy, does it feel like LA a lot of times.

Yeah. And I think that is the accomplishment. That's a worthwhile thing. On top of all that, I will say the moments that I had in the game away from all this bullshit, and we're going to talk about this, I'm sure, with Assassin's Creed, where you get away from the story, because there's not a lot of story we can talk about with Assassin's Creed.

But the moments away from the bullshit were incredible. Like, going up into the mountains in an SUV and, like, starting a crime and then driving down the highway up into the wind farms when helicopters flying are flying into the wind forms and suddenly it's like fading into night and the door opens of your car and the light is like pouring out of your car and yeah and people don't like when you talk about like graphics bullshit but like i felt so in it when those little details are happening yeah for sure and it's like i am in a michael man movie i think though for different reasons i i could say a lot of the same stuff about Assassin's Creed IV.

It had a scope that none of the other games have come close to. And it really did. There was so much in the world and there was so much variation from, like, island to island to area you would visit that it made me feel like, oh, I'm just going to sail in this direction and see what I end up, see where I end up. Because I left a lot of stuff on the table, like places I could explore, just because I had to get back to my actual life. A huge step forward, I think, in a way that I think makes 3 even worse.

Yeah, I mean, there's no question that 3 is a black mark on the series. But I would say, so there's a couple things that I think. Oh, God. There's a couple things that I think Assassin's Creed 4 does really, really well. The exploration aspects, I totally agree with you. Like, going around the world, I don't think the environments changed that dramatically. Like, you're still dealing with the Caribbean.

No, I'm about 40% done with, like, the of like everything that there is and like I now kind of every island is just sort of like there's some hidden treasure there there's a whale nearby. But it's I'm talking about a look that is very distinct from like. The cities do vary pretty dramatically. And you know they're a lot different

from like they're just a small you know native and have native colonies. There's like the Mayan jungle or whatever the, the Aztec jungle. So I agree that some of the islands do look different. I think where this game absolutely succeeds 100% is boarding a ship makes you feel like a goddamn pirate. To be more like to sort of catch all that in one basket, I think, and this may be a fairly contentious statement but it

captures the feeling of piracy yeah better than other other games that like didn't have this second real world storyline going on and didn't have all these exploration elements um it stuff like that like building your ship i had such a sense of ownership sure in that ship even though like i can't really decide what it looks like, and I can't really name it. I mean, I can change the sails and the figurehead and stuff like that, but, like, I felt an ownership over that and the crew and how we developed. To me, what Russ mentioned and what you're talking about,

that gameplay loop of, I see a ship over there. I'm going to go, first off, shoot that ship with lots of different weapons, try to steer away from that ship, swing onto that ship on a sweet rope, cut another rope and zip up to the crow's nest and shoot the rock. That loop of capturing a boat and some of the other pirate activities is more fun and I think made me happier and made me more, was more exciting to me than any sequence in GTA V, which is why I'm leaning towards Assassin's Creed. Assassin's Creed.

Yeah, I understand that and I enjoy that in the game. The problem with the Assassin's Creed series for me as a whole, and this is barely a problem, like right now I'm just kind of nitpicking at the two of them. But it's that I feel a bit like I'm in a Skinner's box. Is that right? Where you're just getting...

Isn't that the cat that didn't exist? Oh my god. Is that really what you were trying to reference? No, no. I literally just did the wrong thing. But I feel like I'm just getting fed these rewards. Oh my god. Now I'm trying to think just getting fed these rewards. Oh my god. Now I'm trying to think of what.

Pavlov. Thank you. The dogs. Pavlov's bag. He put his dog in a bag and he kept throwing treats. Nothing. But I feel like I'm getting these rewards and that's what I'm really playing it for.

And I don't even notice it until I step away from it. And then after I finish the game, I run around the world and I'm like, I don't really enjoy this. I don't really enjoy the fighting. I don't really, I run around the world and I'm like, I don't really enjoy this. I don't really enjoy the fighting. I don't really enjoy the getting around this world, but I do enjoy climbing and getting a ping and it being like, you've opened up some more of the map.

And you found a little bit more of this. But the fighting's great. The fighting's great and the ship combat's great. I mean, I can't agree with you that it's just a dopamine hit that you get for a reward because these individual components do work. I mean, they are fun and well-constructed and are varied and are not like – and I would say more so than a lot of the loops in our gameplay segments of Grand Theft Auto V,

which I don't think – I think just from a combat perspective, like fighting and killing things. I would say Assassin's Creed 4 gameplay-wise and mission-wise is pretty steady. It's pretty steadily pretty high. Grand Theft Auto V, I think, has more peaks and valleys. And the peaks being, I think, obviously the heist mission. Well, wait, wait, wait. Let me disagree with you there. Because I honestly think what we're not going into, which is very important,

is that the campaign, the story of Assassin's Creed four is, is really not good. And those missions are really not that interesting. They're like forced stealth missions, forced follow this dude missions. Like I will say this, whoever invented,

whoever storyboarded and also the person who greenlit the two words, boat stealth shouldn't work in this industry or any industry ever again. Okay, let me stop you guys. We've talked about this for a long time. Just so we can see where we're at. I want to take a vote. Okay.

Because we have a lot of games to get through today. What is the vote on these two games? I would vote GTA V. But it's close. I would vote Assassin's Creed 4. I'd GTA V. Oh, man. We'll mix this up

so it doesn't always fall on you. I hate to do this, but for boat stealth alone, it's GTA V. Yeah! Grand Theft Auto V. Congrats. It's a great game.

It's a really... I want to like Assassin's Creed more because it's so surprising that it's this good. I actually think Assassin's Creed 4, and the reason I didn't bear down too hard, is that you are 100% right that at some point in the creation of all these side stuff, they forgot to make the main quest good at all.

It is shocking. You want me to tail a fool again? That's all I do. In a boat? I can't see me? My boat's wicked big. Black Flag 2, when they drop the Assassin's Creed brand from it, and they don't have to worry about all the other stuff,

and it's just Black Flag 2. That game is going to be... So GTA 5 moves on. Our next pairing, I suspect, will be slightly less contentious. Saints Row 4 versus Fire Emblem Awakening. So we should mention that the Fire Emblem Awakening is one of the user votes. So let's give it the due respect.

I'll give it some due respect. It's an incredible game. It tied it over, I think, a lot of people. The 3DS has had, I i think the best year ever both in its lifetime and possibly in like any handheld lifetime ever like there were some there were some mammoth i think that's actually pretty fair we got fire emerald awakening luigi's mansion animal crossing pokemon uh link links awake oh god one of the Yeah, like it has had a killer year. When I talk to people who say, I don't have a 3DS,

like after this year, it's like, what are you doing? How do you not have one at this point? And I think Fire Emblem Awakening, I think, came out in like, what, February or something? It came out early, had like tons and tons and tons of content. I had never played a Fire Emblem game before, but it was very familiar in the Advance Wars sort of way. Yeah.

Surprisingly really good writing. Really good writing. Yes, that really worked. Looked gorgeous graphics. Here's what I will say, and the fact that you haven't played a Fire Emblem game before I think has a lot to do with maybe why... I mean, I loved it too. I absolutely really dug it.

But having played one before, I know how formulaic they are. And this one sticks really close to the formula. Like, does a little bit interesting stuff with, like, with people mating and, like, having babies. Like, that was kind of interesting. But for the most part, this is a straight-up Fire Emblem game. So, a really good one, but doesn't really innovate that much in the formula.

We are supposed to lay out these games before we start. I thought we laid out the other one. No, we just said the title. You just assumed by saying the title, people know. People knew. Superheroes. To be fair, what you just said about Fire Emblem, in a weird way, could be applied to Saints Row 4, which was originally a downloadable content pack for Saints Row 3.

I mean, it obviously came a long way, but it's an interesting kind of head-to-head. There's a lot of reused segments, which is not what we should be hung up on. It should be about the quality and how much fun. Let's lay it out. Saints Row 4, you like Saints Row 3? What if you had superpowers?

What if you could do anything? It goes beyond superpowers. What if games had no rules and you yourself did not have to abide by rules? Saints Row 4 is the power fantasy defined, it should almost be the end of power fantasies in video games because you don't get more powerful than being the president who has superpowers.

Which is what actually no bullshit happens in Saints or the first five minutes yeah um but i i do think let's move on compare these two games because i'm sure when we pit this whatever wins against gta 5 we'll talk about a lot more so um i i i'll start with with fire emblem because i i feel like you guys are gonna want to get this round over with pretty quickly. But I am only now remembering how much I really loved that game, because I think you have a good point. I can see it being formulaic, just another series entry. But it is a type of strategy role-playing game that I had never experienced before. There's a lot of stuff in that genre that is just too

intense for me i've never been able to get in like the disgaea series i like final fantasy tactics uh and this was something that like was super fresh for me um although without that freshness i can see why it wouldn't it wouldn't be so hot but it has like it's that kind of like super content rich, offers you a lot of chances to customize your team, your dudes in that Pokemon-esque way. That's my jam. Man, I put dozens and dozens and dozens of hours into it. Yeah, I loved it.

Don't get me wrong. It's probably my favorite Fire Emblem game of all the ones I've played, but only by a minuscule amount because, again, it's just slowly iterating, which is what Nintendo does. Nintendo knows how to make a game better over time. But yeah, we were talking about

reused content. A lot of those assets, I'm sure, came from the Wii version of the game, which came out a couple years ago. There was a 3D Wii Fire Emblem game that came out. Do you know that for sure? You're just butt-talking. Maybe I'm just butt-talking.

I think you might just be butt-talking. I don't want to assume, but maybe. Let's vote. Okay, let's vote. Saints Row 4. Also, I'm voting for that. Saints Row 4? Yeah, Saints Row 4.

Griffin, what's your vote? It's Fire Emblem, but it doesn't matter. All right, Saints Row 4 brings down Fire Emblem Awakening. This is the worst part about this. These are just, like, great games. We're just tired of them. We've got to be merciless for this arbitrary selection of which art product is the best one for whatever.

Next section. This one is brutal. This is Originals. These are games that are... These next few are going to hurt. So let's get down deep into them. Because I don't even know how I feel about some of these. First up, Towerfall versus Tearaway.

So I just want to say something before we do this. A funeral dirge. First we're going to lay out... I'm going to lay it out. Okay, so Tower Fall is the game of the year. And Tearaway is a really fucking amazing game that should not have to... It didn't ask to be here.

This is brother versus brother. Okay, so Tower Fall is... You guys, give me like... If you could just sum it up in like 30 seconds, just like I tell you to, just once. Yeah, it's like a Smash Brothers type of game, but with arrows. It's single-hit kills. It's much faster than Smash Brothers.

Smash Brothers had arrows. Did you ever play Pit? High. Or Link? High. Or Toon Link? High. Oh, my God.

Griffin, Tearaway, 30 seconds. Tearaway is the most delightful game that I've played this year. It made me so happy. It's a concentrated ball of papercraft joy that makes you a character in the game unlike any game has ever done or even tried to do it's a reason to own a vita and you guys are about to take it out behind the shed all right guys hasn't it had it hard enough like it's a great game it's already down to like 1999 i heard it sold well recently can we check can we check something real quick? Quick vote. Okay. I gotta go Towerfall. I'm sorry.

Plickers Plant. Towerfall. Tearaway. Tearaway. What? What? No. Tearaway is a delightful, creative, beautiful game.

Super, super ugly. Just so we're all mentally and physically prepared. Towerfall. You guys think Tearaway. I do not want to have to trash Tearaway. You don't have to. Yeah, that's what we're leveraging against you. I will trash think Towerfall- I will not. I do not want to have to trash Towerfall. You don't have to. Yeah, that's what we're leveraging against you. I will trash Towerfall if I have to.

Towerfall- I love that game, but I will trash it. You guys love Towerfall. Like, you love Towerfall- First of all, that game's not really out yet. Okay, first of all- It is on OUYA. It was out on OUYA.

First off, Towerfall, you guys love Towerfall in the same way that in college, I love Office Space. No. No. Me and my buddies all got together. It was like a really transformative time. Before these crowded streets, Dave Bathew's band best work. And I have fond memories of it. But only because you guys work at a place

that covers video games and have countless people play video games. It's just awesome. No, no, no, before it gets nasty, before it gets nasty, our thing that we talked about before we did it is if you haven't played a game that much, you wouldn't be weighted in the count. And I think there's going to be a lot of room for Towerfall

to go up against stuff later. I haven't played that much Towerfall. You were there for the 20 minutes of Towerfall. No, but what I'm saying is, and I don't think it's an invalid point, that, like, you guys are in a situation that a lot of people are. That has nothing to do with it. Okay, I could, like, finish a point, and then you could tell me why it's wrong.

I'm just saying. Let me finish the point. Okay. I don't live in a situation where I have three people to play Tower Fall against constantly. Now, does that necessarily make it less valuable or less worthy? No, but I think your guys' perception of this game and its value is colored by the fact that you have a constant source of people to play with and you have lots of opportunities to, like,

you have lots of great memories about, like, great fights or great stuff that's happened to you in the game that are experiences that I'm saying most people would not, it does not mirror the experience of most people. You love it in the way that people, you would love foosball, because we all have a foosball table and we're playing. I'm not saying, I'm not detracting from it.

I'm saying it's skewing your perception. I know what you're saying, but what I would say in response and why I feel like that is unfair and also not true is that would be like saying, like you have a Vita and I don't. Therefore, you have an experience that I'm not welcome to.

We can't just knock multiplayer games out of contention. And I think the foosball thing is interesting. I do think that is an interesting comparison. What I would say that is different is we have tons of games to play competitively in the office. We do not laugh when it comes to... Not only that, I have played tons of competitive games over the office. We do not laugh when it comes to that. Not only that, I have played tons

of competitive games over the last 10 years. No joke have not played a more entertaining, minute-to-minute competitive game than Towerfall in the last 10 years. I want to clarify something. I think Towerfall is great, too.

I've had a lot of fun when I've played it. I'm just saying that I think, and I don't think this is invalid, is like because you have so many good memories tied to it. But this is, that's only a testament to how good the game is. But also this. But like if I had won a million dollars

on the same day I bought Bayou Billy, so Bayou Billy's the sweetest game ever. No, no, that would be like if you played Bayou Billy and by playing it, you got a million dollars. Okay, yeah, but I was like, I want to scratch off on the back of the game. It's like, well, that was the only way, like I was the only one who won.

This metaphor's getting out of control. Here's what I would say and why I feel so passionate about Towerfall. And sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. That was very rude of me. Yeah, well. This is why I think I feel so passionate about it. Unlike any game this year,

is I have never seen something like what's happened across not just Polygon New York, but Polygon DC. Like throughout our entire company, people who don't play video games have started forming communities around this game. And there were many options to do that with other games and that never happened and it's become basically a short like this shorthand for everyone we work with and it could be any company because these aren't people who

work at polygon these are people who work at like sb nation or people who work in product team who would have never played any games since mar. Like, it's this weirdly magical thing that I feel like it's just... I could not imagine it happening in any other game. That is capable of bringing in not only that casual player, but also the insane players like us or Jimmy, who's one of our video guys that absolutely dominates everyone, but is still able to enjoy himself and have a good time

when he's playing people that just started playing. Okay. Griffin, Tearaway. Yeah, let's talk about Tearaway. Tearafall. everyone, but is still able to enjoy himself and have a good time when he's playing people that just started playing. Griffin, Tearaway. Yeah, let's talk about Tearaway. Why is it better than Towerfall? It's just not like any game I've ever played, both in terms of presentation and just what the game is. It's a platformer, but it's so much more than that, because if it just relied on its platforming elements, it would be pretty, I don't know, it wouldn't really blow me away.

It's everything that it layers on top of it. I don't want to gloss over the presentation, because it's one of the most incredible things I've ever seen in a game before, how they have approached this idea of everything being made out of paper in such a holistic manner in terms of just design and sound design and mechanics they use every single piece of the vita almost like justifying that rear touch pad in a way that i didn't think a game would ever be capable of doing before yeah um but it's just like it's magical it's that's that's i that's such like a that's such a bullshit box quote term. Yeah. But every time your face is in the sun in this world that it captures through the V-Dub's face-facing camera. Yeah.

And every time my face showed up in the world, I would make a face almost involuntarily. Did you make the same face every time? This is what I did every time. Like, I'm so happy to see everybody. And there is literally no reason to do that. I was alone. You could take a picture of a butt. It wasn't for anybody's entertainment but my own.

And, like, no game has even, like, come close to capturing me in that way. Like, it's such a unique experience that is just. It takes this idea of user-generated content and doesn't make it this engineering thing. It's an artistic way of generating content in a way that anybody can understand. There's a moment in the game where they're like, okay, we need a pattern for this moose. So come up with a pattern.

And instead of just being like, oh, who gives a shit? I'll do whatever pattern I care. I actually looked around my room and was like, there's gingham! Awesome! And then I was so thrilled when the moose was in gingham. And I did a picture of Bill Cosby's face.

And then that kept showing up throughout the game like it has this great way of reusing the assets that you create all the way up until the point where the the ending which i won't spoil because it's my favorite video game ending of the year uh it just like encapsulates it all into this world that you feel like you are the absolute author of like it's it's enchanting. It's incredible. For me, I really enjoyed it because it felt like a safe chance to go back to kindergarten. Like, this, like, place that you, like, was, like, very warm and experimental as a child

where it's like, oh, I can do craft projects and we're going to, like, it's all these very simple tasks that are, like, just naturally feel good and also, like, an emphasis on you in a weird way that doesn't feel vain right like kindergarten and just like yeah seeing yourself in the sun doing these little projects but it never feeling um patronizing yeah uh to save us from actually having to do a vote because i don't

think we need to do that are we willing to concede that even though we haven't had the same experience with tower fall they're they're deep and abiding love for it is enough to put it. I'll break this right now. It's not their love. I don't give a shit about that. I played it for 20 minutes upstairs a couple hours ago, and I had a blast with it. I love these kinds of... My favorite

gaming experiences this year, if I were to look at my top three, I think all three probably had some local multiplayer element in it. The industry's moving in that way. People are starting to remember how much they love that stuff, and that's amazing. Based on that 20 minutes, I can totally see myself getting as deep into it as

you guys did. Okay. So with that, Towerfall brings down Tearaway. But seriously, if you didn't, if you have a Vita and you didn't play Tearaway, it's super on sale already, which is like heartbreaking. Please buy

and play that game. It really is an amazing game, and it's probably going to be the last, or one of the last really big budget studio specific to Vita games that comes out for a while, because like for a while, because there's nothing on the horizon, It's all going to be indie. Well, no, that's not true.

You got Gravity Rush 2. Sony seems to be wanting to associate it as the PS4 secondary device. So the idea is that a lot of things will be coming out in full systems. Listen, this is not related. We've got to move on. Unnecessary segue.

Unnecessary segue. We've got two more games in this category. Rogue Legacy versus Last of Us. A real unlikely pairing. That's... I mean... Now, if you'll... Let me Legacy versus Last of Us. A real unlikely pairing. Now, if you'll let me set up Last of Us, you may have read the incorrect polygon review. Russ, Phil Kohler gave it a 7.5. Now we can all agree that's the wrong score,

but let's move beyond that. It's a game about a man and a little girl trying to escape the undead. She is immune to the plant that is taking over the world and turning people into zombies. So an adult

man has to escort her. You have no other characteristic. He's a man and he's definitely an adult. A bearded gentleman has to escort her across the country on a road trip. And it is really, really good. Yeah. Rogue Legacy is an action platformer game in the Castlevania style that has roguelike elements pretty much all throughout.

The controls are really, really good. It has that element of randomness to how the characters are generated. It also has a really great system of progression and unlocks that you spin the treasure that you find in the castle, which makes that whole loop really rewarding. Every time I found a big hoard of treasure, I i i don't know i got really excited about it i like games that make

treasure feel valuable yeah we talked about that when we talked about link between worlds like when you get something in a dungeon and you're like yeah i'm gonna use this we need to pick this up a little bit but i i honestly i'm sitting, do you guys have a strong, like for me, I feel like I liked each of these games almost exactly equally. Right now, sitting here trying to think back on it, I really don't know. I mean, I-

And they're like, it's just such a- I thought both of these were great. This is why I'm drawing comparisons to things like this. It's really, you just have to start, what I like about this discussion is it's a chance to talk out why we like the games and not try to things like this. It's really you just have to start, what I like about this discussion is it's a chance to talk out why we like the games and not try to be like, wow, one of them is a one former, yeah.

It has two more levels. Here's where I'm freezing up, is that they are on the tone spectrum, literally the polar opposites, because Rogue Legacy you could be like lesbian dwarf with irritable bowel syndrome who just jumps around and goes searching for treasure. And it's fun and lighthearted.

It can be kind of punishing, but entirely mechanically. If you die, it's almost comical in a way, the way that you're remembered. And The Last of Us is impressive in this just... Bleak. ...web of despair that it it never ever ever ever lets up on yeah um that is like i i had fun playing rogue legacy i don't think i would ever call anything i experienced playing the last of us fun and like i'm into as much artsy shit as you can throw at

me but like it's hard for me to play a game and say, wow, that wasn't fun at all. I didn't enjoy that at all. And then still be like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say that. I think what last of us does and like the fun moments of last of us,

there's two moments. One is the like really cool wide open arena stuff where you get into a situation where there's like 20 guys in an area and you essentially have to like really use the environment and use like stealth tactics and like ammo conservation to dismantle this huge crowd even even not mechanically being dropped into those kinds of oh shit moments like uncharted 3 you're in the boat the glass is breaking the water's about to come rushing in like those moments are better than the moments that follow them those moments of tension of like oh no this is about to get so real last of us is just that back to back yeah oh well and moments where you keep thinking oh shit this is going to get real and then nothing and then nothing happens those

are the best those are my favorite moments in the game is when it just chilled out there are moments of uh in last of us that are and i think i talked about one on the show where you the the little girl you're watching is talking with uh another young boy that you meet on the road and he wants to take a toy with him that his dad won't let him carry in his back because they don't want any extra weight. The dad tells him he has to put it back. And then the scene moves away. The camera moves away. And if you look back, you see Ellie, the girl you're watching, pick up the toy and put it in her backpack. I just got chills, by the way.

Literally as we're talking about that. She doesn't do it if you stay and watch her. You have to turn your back and then look back at her. That, to me, if you put that kind of thought into a game and you put that kind of thought into making me have that moment that you made that only not a lot of people are going to see it. But I looked back to see it, and I think, think about it now, I think I have to go with Last of Us.

And as you were describing that and the chills that I felt like in terms of the games that I had an emotional connection with like with the characters, with the story without a doubt I had the most intense emotions while playing Last of Us there's you know moments

towards the end of the game that I don't want to talk about for people that haven't played it but like there's a very quiet moment that everyone will remember having played this game. Not to mention the very ending, which is also really uncharted territory for video games. You keep doing, I don't know if you've read, that's like the fifth pun that you've done during the sesh.

It just happens next. What do you guys think? Let's keep going. God, Last of Us. God, talking about... I have harbored such a grudge against that game because when I finished it, I was like, I'm never going to play that game.

That game made me feel like dog shit for nine hours. But it made you feel something. I guess, but so does... Shin-Lui's List. That's what it feels like. It's like, Shin-Lui's List, I never want to watch that movie again, but damn, it was good.

It's a weird comparison, but sure. Why? It's a really comparison, but sure. Why? It's a really depressing, but really well-made movie. Last of Us? Last of Us. Last of Us? Yeah. Okay.

I will say, I'm psyched for Rogue Legacy. Yeah, that's the platform it's designed for. It is going to rock. Last of Us takes it. That's half of the games in this initial round. We are going to take a quick break for halftime, and then we will be right back. It's the holiday season in New York, replete with falling snow, ice skating, and it's here that four

questionably wise men have been tasked with the most difficult challenge of their lives. They have to buy something nice for another human being. something nice for another human being. So, I have to get in the mind of Justin Hoops McElroy. What does Justin like? Things Justin likes. Happiness, family, brothers. He has two brothers. He likes the game Brothers.

I'm getting a gift for Rush Fresh Stick, my favorite bestie. I'm gonna scout the city until I find just the right thing. Oh, oh no no. It is way, no it's way too cold. It's like 20 degrees out there. I'm gonna have to find something in here. Griffin loves me and everything that I do. I think when something's made, it's made from the heart. I'm gonna make him something. My secret Santa recipient, my secret child, is Chris Plant.

He loves a lot of things. He loves his wife, he loves Tower Fall. But more than both of those things, he loves The Bachelor. I found exactly what I want to get Justin, and no one is here to sell it to me. There is a hoot owl with a baby mouse, also pug. Wanna try four seven, I don't know who's there. I'll just ask them. Oh, those are all, no, sorry, wrong floor. You'll sell anything here?

No. Great. So I need two things here. I need Elmer's glue and I need macaroni. Okay. Stationary. Here we go. School glue. Just what I needed. Should I buy? No, I'm gonna go off-brand.

This looks very business. This looks... I'm not seeing a lot of retail. No, there's no retail options on this floor. This is no good. I'm going to go find him a book written by recent winner and host, Desiree and Chris, about baseball themed love poems. This is just what I need.

Okay, so I don't know what color this is. This is probably like a brown, right? Yeah. So I found a Barnes and Noble. It's on 46th and 5th, which is my favorite Barnes and Noble. I don't know if Barnes and Noble has a books written by romance reality star section. I know what I'm going to get him.

Something that represents family and Christmas and brothers. The perfect, bestie ornament. The best ornament. Let's find something in sales and we'll talk through it, and I'll buy Russ an ad on one of our sites. That'll be perfect. That's a piece of the family.

Is this sales? That's the snack room. Does no one work here? Why do we have all this office space if no one work here? Why do we have all this office space if no one works here? So we found the Pines & Noble, the last remaining bookstore in the universe. I don't think they have a genre called butt poop.

So they didn't have the book of baseball-themed love poetry written by Bachelor contestants, which is really unfortunate because I had to ask somebody in the store if they had it. It's, I think, an e-book exclusive, which is my bad for not looking that up in the first place. But Chris Plant left his iPad sitting out on his desk. I'll put my credit card info in there, e-book it. He'll turn on his iPad like, what? Nobody's here. This is no good. This is a bust. Nobody's here. There is the New York City Taxicab. Seasonal and local. There are four adorable bears. Because they're bears.

So we're back in the office, and we're going to construct a masterpiece. An artistic, heartfelt masterpiece. I want some goof-ass present. I don't want, like, a nice card. I'm giving Chris Plant an incredible present. I'm an incredible present-gitter and giver. So Griffin really likes tearaway so I thought I'd make him like a homemade tearaway style card to celebrate the holidays. Oh no.

Okay I guess I'm changing colors now. Hi fellow co-workers. I'm doing some Christmas shopping for Russ Frustick of the Besties and I was wondering if anybody would sell me anything. I'm in the market for high-end electronics and I can spend no more than $10. Does anyone have anything they could sell? What do you got here? This is a knock-off iPod Shuffle. Okay. We got them for the bathroom. Bat Shuffle. Okay. We got them for the bathroom. Bat tins.

Okay. This costs $4.50 on Amazon, but I'll sell it to you for $4. I want to spend at least $10 because I don't want to have to get in more things. Okay. This is great. What do you got? This is probably useless to anyone. Perfect.

That's ideal. Hey, give me your iPad. What? Give me your iPad. Just give me your iPad. What? Give me your iPad. Just give me the iPad. It's an iPad mini. Don't worry about it. Oh yeah, I don't worry.

All right. It's locked. The perfect crime. Okay, so this is us. This is like, we're like brothers, and we're besties. And this is me and Griffin and then Hoops and then Russ. And Russ has a little bit longer hair than he normally does, but like I don't think anybody's going to notice.

And this is New York Giraffe, and he's dressed as a dog. And this is all the other characters that Russ plays, and they've been cooked, and we're going to eat them. So here's my work. You've got painstakingly laid macaroni on glue, not Elmer's, this off-brand glue. We have these hearts that are covered in macaroni, well, the cheese from the macaroni and cheese, that hopefully when I shake it off it'll be perfectly in the shape of hearts.

And we've got Milton Bradley here talking about how he doesn't trust the Irish, which I'll be honest I don't really trust the Irish either. So I'm with you there Milton. So look at this. Here's a holiday shopping tip from me to you. Apple. That's official right there. Apple. Official Apple-branded product. No problem. Okay.

I have five more dollars to spend on it. This is a steal. Thank you, Troy. I appreciate this. I would say the plan went off seamlessly, without a hitch, masterfully executed. It's from Santa. I need you to unlock your iPad. What do you mean it's from Santa? It's just unlock your iPad.

You're going to buy something online? I'm not. With my money? The Christmas crime is done. Looks on his iPad. This is a genuine iPhone 5S fake model. It's not real. It doesn't look the same weight.

And I can get that for $5? Yeah, you can get that for $5. Wow, this is great! Thank you so much! This is done. Great, I'm done. So I got Russ, too, a fish... So tune in to our next episode to see what we got while we're feeling Mr. Halftime.

We don't know yet. We literally at this point have not exchanged gifts. But you know. You're home. All right, next big category is revamps. And our first battle is Super Mario 3D World versus the Legend of Zelda Link Between Worlds Hachi-Wachi. Shigeru Miyamoto, go to bed.

You are not gonna like how this shakes out. You know what's really sad is that some dude who actually made those games is like, he's getting the credit again? Again! I cannot win! Did we do this on purpose? Did we keep pitting like really?

No. The way these shookouts we pitted, we gave seeds where the highest and lowest scoring games were pitted against each other. Based on reviews. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, what do you want me to do? Mario or Zelda? I can do Zelda.

Super Mario 3D World is the first 3D multiplayer Mario game. I never played it. I played it with my wife and two of our friends. I didn't play it any other way. I only played it with four people. That's the only way to ingest this game.

It is a, I would say, part party game, part really tight Super Mario Galaxy-style platformer that is just like, it's fun in a way that Mario games never have been before, and it's all in that cooperative play, which is really solid. Well done. Zelda Link Between Worlds is a sequel to A Link to the Past,

the SNES game. Link Between Worlds has you sequel to A Link to the Past, the SNES game. Link Between Worlds has you returning to that same map and that same world of that previous game while totally revamping what a Zelda game is in terms of structure. There's tons of freedom

in this game as to where you go. How you get items is completely different. They actually make you care about getting money in a zelda game for the first time maybe ever um it's just basically like how zelda is going to be taken into the next generation it's like this feels like the evolution of zelda it nails open world in a way that i was not aware nintendo was capable of doing an open world absolutely so i want to say something before we get too deep into this i have not spent a lot of time with with mario i have i played one world uh by myself

and then we played some some together interesting way i have not spent a lot of time with zelda so let me say this if if it's three against one i will not fight uh for for zelda because that won't need to i won't mathematically you won't need because it but if we're that's a grand Three against one, I will not fight for Zelda because that— You won't need to. I won't need to. Because mathematically, you won't need to. Because—but if we're— That's a grand gesture.

If we're— Sacrifice, laying down your sword. I'm just saying I'm not going to make a big thing of it. Okay, great. But if we're— But it is still going to lose. Zelda is obviously the better one. It is—

Okay, okay. Of the ones that—but it's way better than the one I didn't play very much. But it—to me, Zelda caught me by surprise in a way that I was not capable, I was going to love, not only like Zelda games, but like Nintendo games, period. I thought that that ship had kind of passed me by, but this got its hook to me so deep. And it doesn't hurt that it is a spiritual successor to what, in my opinion, is my favorite game of all time.

Well, no, the best game of all time. My favorite. But that says a lot because you have such an emotional connection to Link to the Past. And let's be honest. It is playing with those. It is taking those art assets

and reforming them in a way that's recognizable but still evolved. But you could also, that could really go against them, which is like, this is one of the best games ever made. Making a game that's so closely tied into that right could easily be like oh there's no way this could live up this is a better game in the length of the

past i think i think it is the only thing that's giving me uh pause about this decision is again and like this keeps coming up and when i'm trying to make these decisions it's just how i ingested the games because i played it with with you know three of my favorite people over the course of, God, we bought it on, I think, launch day and I just finished it last night. It was the source of maybe nine or 10 nights of a lot of fun, whereas Link Between Worlds,

which I adored, I just pillaged that game in two days by myself, just sitting there, I was like, get it all! To me, I think that's why I, I think Zelda is the more important game symbolically in terms of not just where the series is going, but Nintendo starting to figure some stuff out.

Pokemon and Animal Crossing, two games that are probably series is going but nintendo starting to like figure some stuff out like pokemon and animal crossing two games that are probably my top five that uh we didn't pick for some reason um both started to like get this idea of uh online multiplayer in handheld games right which nobody has done on the like dedicated handheld market before like nintendo's starting to turn the old ship around in terms of of just the things that have been so frustrating about that company in the past i think adding co-op to mario is baller but um it's also a trick that i mean we've seen mario games well no no don't i will stop you right there because these the new super mario brothers games and the 3d super mario game, not even remotely comparable.

Not even remotely comparable. Well, it may be better, but they did it. What I think is the achievement of Super Mario 3D World is it took what is my favorite of the Mario games, which is Galaxy, which is very much a single-player experience, and they found a way to make that experience workable with four people. So this is what I'm going to say, and I mentioned this earlier to Justin. I agree with you to a certain extent, but because of the camera and because of the nature of the

angle that you're seeing it, I think a lot of the platforming is hindered by some of those aspects. I don't know if I'm going to jump and land on something all the time. I don't know if I'm going to hit something above me, because it's like the lining it up. I agree with that. That's kind of fair and again this is just being fair to all the games. I think that's a little unjust just because these are games that you don't really like. That's not true. I love platforming games. Well this Mario game like both of you this Mario game, like, both of you, like, your first 30-minute reactions,

both of you were kind of like, eh, it's for babies. Which is, in a way, serious. I wasn't joking. When I played it, I was like, oh, I did this. But I don't think that's bad. I don't think that's bad at all, because I think these very much are what we're coming to with it. And that's why I would just say, I wouldn't attack it for that, because it gets very complex.

And the fact that you can do it. Guys, trust on this. the fact that you guys trust on this the fact the fact that four people can play it is a testament to the controls being pretty to me to me the thing that i the thing that sets zelda apart and we really need to take a vote on this where we're at uh the thing that sells out of part is i think you take money as an example i think money is a good parallel between the two money and z Zelda has been reexamined to see why are you getting it? Why are you getting rupees? What's the point?

Why are we having you do it? And how should that work? How should that feel? Coins in Mario are still there working the exact same way they always have. Okay, but that's weird. I'm sorry. I'm saying I don't think Mario reexamines itself and really says what's

worthwhile, what's useful, why are we doing all the things we're doing in a way that Zelda, the way that Zelda does. I just want to finish up on Mario and

then we can take a vote, sorry. Okay. But I basically want to say the same thing that you said but for Mario and that I feel like it's a game

that finally takes this language of Mario that everyone's very, very familiar with and it's amazing how like ridiculously in-depth that language is. There's all these characters, all these worlds. And it uses that and subverts it constantly, level after level. Basically, it has a sense of humor about it from wearing the Goomba's skin or a flagpole

that starts at the beginning of the level and suddenly flies away. And it's taking this thing and it's almost a surreal twist on this already pretty surreal game. But I have a feeling it's going to lose. I just wanted to bring up a point of comparing the rupees and coins is kind of apples and oranges because you're looking at something that did definitely change in that one game and something that didn't change in the Mario game.

There's tons of stuff that changed in the Mario game like it's not nearly as subversive as link between worlds is i won't argue that like it's changed equally but i think by introducing this co-op element they have changed the very genre of of the game from being just a platform i think so and i think they made it they they they figured out a way to make it feel relevant which is super impressive and that's i think that's why you're starting to see it in all the ads. It could potentially be the same. To me, Zelda takes that a step further, which is what puts it a step ahead for me.

But you don't have a Mario tattoo, do you? So if we're talking about bias... Oh, no! Flash him. What? Well, mine's on my leg, so I'm not going to do that. Okay, Zelda. Zelda. Mario. Wait, mine's on my leg, so I'm not going to do that. Okay, Zelda. Zelda. Mario.

Wait, let's do it. Okay, we'll do it a different order. I had a better time playing Mario, but Zelda's the better game. I'll concede it. Alright, so Legend of Zelda Link Between Worlds brings down Mario 3D World. Is it Mario 3D World Land?

There's been so many. It's supposed to be the same. Super Mario 3D World Land. Just a jumping one, right? Let it die in peace. All right. Number six. Oof.

Oof. This one's big. Our second matchup in revamps, raider versus bioshock infinite wow tomb raider is a i think in the same way the other two revamps we're talking about is a real that's a revamp ass that is a revamp ass revamp they have there is very little that ties this to other tomb raider games other than the british the lead character. She's British. Even her backstory seems to be very different. I'll say this. She's not as British.

She's even less British. She doesn't have a butler or a British mansion. It brings it into an open world game. Completely revamps controls and how basically every mechanic in the game works. It is a from the ground up relaunch of the Tomb Raider franchise.

Bioshock Infinite is a first-person shooter that kind of is a hodgepodge of its creator's interest from history to philosophy and represented in this bizarre kind of twisty story that is about everything from physics to political beliefs. And very, very simply, you're in a place in the sky and you have to find a bad dude and maybe save a girl, though she kind of works with you.

That was pretty... No, no, no, you got everything. You started at the top and then you went all the way down to the bottom. It's the inverted pyramid. You don't want to spoil anything. This one's really tough for me because I feel like the question in this round is about execution versus ambition. Yep. Oh, 100%.

Absolutely. For me, Tomb Raider is executed in a really sensical but almost, you could argue, methodical way. Maybe even clinical. Maybe even a little bit clinical. And that's not taking away anything from the creation of the game. I'm saying that this is not so much about swinging for the fences as it is about how do we make Tomb Raider relevant and what's the best, most efficient, sexiest, coolest way we can do that.

Bioshock Infinite, on the other hand i think is about big ideas and it's about trying things and it's about throwing a lot of stuff uh you could almost argue maybe too much i don't know but throwing a lot of stuff against the wall and seeing what what works and going for a really big idea yeah um and and I don't know which of those do reward. It's tough. So this is what I would say about Bioshock, where Bioshock succeeds and where maybe it doesn't quite succeed.

Just in terms of like, so the first half hour of Bioshock Infinite is one of the most memorable video game experiences of my life. And one of the most exciting video game experiences I've ever had. Oh, it's amazing. Like drew me into this incredible world totally foreign world i didn't know what was going on there's mystery there was uh subtext that was like slowly delivered and

i was just fascinated by it um and that is really like those moments are what bioshock does really well and honestly it saddens me because they are very rare throughout that game. They do not happen very often where you're quietly introduced to this world. And in their place, what those moments get replaced by are combat sequences where you're in a very large environment and there's, like, 20 guys in the center of the room and you've got a bunch of weapons and you've got a bunch of magic powers and you sort of just kill a bunch of them and it's not a violence thing that i'm talking about it's a uh just like it seems weird it seems like they're very contrary like the most sorry one second the moment the

other moment that jumps to mind is like um what's your name elizabeth elizabeth um like you wake up on the beach and you're going through like the toys uh the toy store and you're going through like like all that stuff like really rings like very memorable to me and then what follows after it is like a wave-based combat sequence um and for combat that really didn't feel very good, bosses that didn't really feel very good, like, it just feels like there's two games there, and one of them just isn't up to par with the other one, whereas Bioshock 1, I thought there were two games there, and both of them really managed to meet the other one's level. I just wanted to say, like, a lot has been made of the the violence of the game and it is

like an exceedingly violent game um but but for me that has never really been uh a knock against it in in terms of like i would condemn it for its violence and when i say violence like i'm talking about the hook executions which is it's not like uh uh something that ruins the game it's just so contrary to like every it's the most gorgeous like world um its execution might be a bit off but it is the most gorgeous and like a captivating world um like ever and you you you get it throughout the game the first half hour is so condensed, and you have, like, every 15 seconds, like, a moment that's like, oh my god, what's that? Oh my god, what are they saying? Like, but it is throughout, and then to have, like, the most,

no kidding, like, the grossest, like, decapitation, like, face ruination I've ever seen in a game before, like, it's not like, oh, this is terrible. It's like, that's weird because I was just looking at a butterfly. There was a butterfly on that dude's shoulder, and then I ruined his face. The other thing about this is that, and this shouldn't be a criteria for how good a game is or not, but you have to remember that if you're making a game, if you want a world of this scope,

and you want a game of this intelligence, it's like saying something at least and it has points to make they're going to have to be concessions to get it actually made by people like if you want scope and scale it's just like any anything else like if you go to the movies and you see massive you know production values i don't think that that's always going to tie to perfect execution of like a very specific artistic statement that you know we keep talking about sorry sorry what flawed execution are we talking about because like we keep saying i want to say what just bothered me about as as i've been away from it because i think it is a game that i call this is horrible but it's like garden state syndrome where it's a series of images that

are all very interesting and ideas that are interesting and music and emotion and it pounds you and it works in the experience. And then you get away from it and you start to really kind of dissect it and you start to find things that you kind of find a little upsetting or ugly or cheap. infinite is it it feels like it uses history and also very very hot button issues as basically like uh emotional trapping or decoration and i what i find i mean really really upsetting about it is its portrayal of race and poverty as this this nothing almost like it says it's bad, but then it doesn't really have anything to say about it. By the end of the game, we're talking about metaphysics. And it sets all that up in that first three hours. And that first three hours, you're like,

this game is going somewhere good. This is going to be a game that says something about all this stuff and these terrible things that's making me do and making me see. And when you fall on the beach, right? You fall on the beach, and the only thing people are talking about on the beach are how much they hate irish people and black people and it's like wow this is a really bad world that's the only thing they have to talk about everywhere oh my

god we're on a floating beach yeah yeah yeah and and then it does all this and the basically the the turn is that well they're bad too and that was like well no they're bad too. And that was like, no, they're not. And it's such, it worked in Bioshock to have that kind of like cynicism of, well, you know, like, well, it's more complex. It's just an absolute power corrupt. But this like, it's such a like disappointing, cynical idea of the world to put into this. When you say they're bad too,

like the people who hate the racist people are also not that great. It's like, wow, okay. That's kind of a crazy thing to say. Yeah, and that's what it is. It's just that, yeah, it's the recurring theme of Bioshock, which is like, yeah, power crops and yeah, everybody's got, you know, give them a little power and they'll be horrible. And that, I can't. It's almost using like politics as, and I'm using that term very broadly, but politics as pornography where these issues of race and religion are thrown in your face to elicit a reaction, but there's not a sentiment underneath it that's really worth what it's taking on.

Schindler's List, which I can't believe I'm reading. It's a great example of like, we're going to talk about Nazis. It's like, whoa, okay, that's a pretty big thing. I hope you have a lot to say about it. And it does. The moment in the game that I think like even represents the whole game

is when you go into the war museum and you see the Boxer Rebellion and this museum doesn't say anything. It's just like giant cardboard cutouts that's just this horribly offensive stuff and it's like why why why is this being put on me like this it's and i get that it's a video game and you have to reduce it and and all that stuff but at a certain point yeah you have to choose uh to emphasize something or to say something and not just use it as a set dressing. But you said it's set dressing.

Like, that's just what it is. Like, for me, it didn't bother me so much that it didn't have, like, a message about it. It was set dressing. It was this, like, horrific characterization of these different issues. He's saying that it's cheap to use that. Imagine Transformers,

and then in the background they were like, slavery, but also the slaves are bad. And then you're like, wait, what? This is a blockbuster video game. Wait, real quick, does anybody have anything of merit to say about Tomb Raider other than it's excellent? I mean, that's what it boils down to,

is you have this game that, again, Ambition tried all these crazy things, made up this entire city, made up this crazy backstory, and with mixed execution. And then you have Tomb Raider, which has a dragon sword, whatever, and is a fun action game. So it's really... That's the thing.

For me, I'm showing my hand because I'm going to pick Bioshock, but for me, Ambition has always been more important than execution. I finished Tomb Raider, and I can see where it was an excellent game with some excellent mechanics that was really good. But I just found it kind of like so forgettable. You know what? I thought for me it was going to be easy, but I think the game that deserves to continue to be talked about is Bioshock.

And I think it will be. Here's why I'm saying now. I will say why I disagree with that is because Tomb Raider is so well made that it's easy to dismiss it, and it is ignoring strong writing, strong characterization, incredibly well-crafted experience. There's a lot that is excellent about it. And while I like ambition.

You know the moment when she gets the fucking grenade launcher and the whole place just loses its mind. You know, the whole place is like, oh shit, it's Lara Croft. And like the whole place loses its mind. It's her. And it's like, oh shit, it's Lara Croft. And like the whole place loses its mind. It's her. And it's like, wow, that was great. I agree with Griffin that ambition in general, I would say trumps just doing something more the same really well. But yeah, for me with Bioshock,

while I really, really admire the ambition, it's just what it's saying is even more than GTA V. I just find it so uncomfortable that I just couldn't. The message being that everything sucks no matter what. Everybody sucks. Everyone's off. Which is both of them. Let's do a vote. I'd say Bioshock. Tomb Raider. Bioshock. I was just thinking about the part with the grenade launcher and it's so sweet. Think about the barbershop quartet and the flying boat. That's sweet, too. What can't we...

Here's what it comes down to for me. In five years, I will not remember Tomb Raider. I just won't. It's a good game. But I won't. There were a lot of good games this year, though. Like, Bioshock Infinite had its issues, but, God, it had some really weird stuff going on.

Bump it. I will push my vote just because I want to talk. I don't think Tomb Raider is going to make it past Zelda next anyway. I would be happy to talk more about Bioshock. I'll let my vote go. Tomb Raider's really good, though. It's really good. If we're talking about the best game.

We'll do it next year because they're doing the next generation. We'll bring it to next besties. It'll get a mulligan. But are's really good. If we're talking about the best game... We'll do it next year because they're doing the next generation. We'll bring it to next Bessie's, it'll get a mulligan. But are we really saying that if we're talking... This is why this is so arbitrary. If we're talking about the best thing, isn't the game that's, like, better? Yeah. Like, better executed and better made and more fun the one that should win? Like, isn't it like...

Okay, but if we put Call of Duty Ghosts up against Frog Fractions... Frog Fractions wins. Why? But Frog Fractions isn't morally reprehensible. That's a bit... Well, sure, but your example is also...

I don't think it's morally reprehensible. No, it's not. Frog Fractions? Well, Firestruck is not morally reprehensible. No, well, neither was that

a fair comparison. I'm just saying, if we're gonna get into like Fox News chat, I'm gonna go for it. Istrike is not morally reprehensible. No, well, neither was that a fair comparison. I'm just saying, if we're going to get into, like, Fox News chat, I'm going to go for it. I think it's Tomb Raider. Oh, God, Justin. I'm sorry. We've got to move on.

I think Tomb Raider was more fun. And for me, we could talk about a lot of this other stuff as, like— We can't just go based on fun, though. Like, a fun factor, like, Last of Us versus Rogue Legacy from a minute-to-minute standpoint. No, he's just saying why he personally feels that way. Okay, and the other thing about it, and this is where it really loses me,

is when I finished this, and maybe I'm dumb, but when I finished the story of Bioshock Infinite, my reaction was, what the fuck are you talking about? I had to go look at my little brother had to send me a flow chart to show me like what just happened i didn't think it was that complicated i didn't think so either to all i mean all the different i mean i get the basic thing going on but like in terms of what all the different ramifications mean like that is not great storytelling when you when you're in the game it's like what are you even saying and it's such a and the other problem

with it that i think is like actually the biggest problem is bioshock infinite opens a door with its story that literally invalidates everything that will has not only happened in that series but will continue to okay but we can't for me of, okay, but it has multiple universes, so anything could happen, that's always seemed like such a pedantic argument. If you start talking about that, is any game that has this multiple universe factor... That's not true.

But that's also Bioshock's fault, because it literally says... It's not one where it's like, oh, it reached into that bag once and pulled something out. The end of the... it very much is like, it could be anything. And that's, I do find that frustrating. I was going to say this because I assumed it would make it further. But I just find it frustrating when, and this is where I don't like most fantasy, when anything can be explained in the fiction.

And that's the argument that people use when they're like, when I say I don't like the story and they're like, well, you didn't understand it. And I'll be like, well, this didn't make sense. And they're like, well, maybe in this universe. And it's like, oh.

Sliders. They do that in Sliders a lot. Is anybody willing to switch? No. I'm leaning. Stand strong, stand strong, stand strong. Here's what it comes down to.

There is no way either of these games is going to make it past the next round. Not a chance at hell. Like, not a chance at hell. So... We talked about the ending of Bioshock.

How did Tomb Raider end? If you can tell me how Tomb Raider ended... Dragon Sword. If you can tell me right now how Tomb Raider ended... Dragon Sword. In acceptable detail, I will back off. Okay, wait, give me a second. Seriously.

Don't say grenade launchers, because that won the end. Yeah. Wait. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. That's what I'm saying, dog. You don't remember it. You don't remember it because it's like in five years you won't remember it. It was good. Okay, Bioshock Infinite.

Fine. Well done. Still not making it past the next round, but that's fine. Okay, that's fine. Bioshock. All right, moving right along to experimentals. We got the Stanley Parable versus Brothers. Let me pitch Brothers.

Actually, this will be a win. Brothers is an amazing game. I should Parable versus Brothers. Let me pitch Brothers. Brothers is an amazing game that is... I should make an editorial thing. Let me... Brothers is a game where Brothers... You are controlling two different characters in a fantasy world.

It is a co-op game for one person where each character is controlled on a thumb stick and they have very simple actions or very simple controls rather rather that are tied to the left and right triggers so this is the little brother and this is the big brother maybe i have that reversed and the story of their sort of like fantasy adventure to to find a potion to cure their dad is paralleled in a real way with what you're doing in the controller and by the end of it it connects story and mechanics in a way that is really really amazing

uh and and i found one of the most sort of like not just moving but it was moving in a way that used mechanics to move me rather than dialogue or music or whatever. And I thought that that was really fantastic. So you're saying I probably should have finished it. Yeah, Russ, you probably should have finished it. I got two trolls together. I can't talk. Husband and wife trolls. Here's what's going to make this one easy.

I cannot talk to Russ about Brothers. Don't look at Russ. Just don't look at Russ. I literally can't look at him. Don't look at Russ there. Pitch Stanley Parable. Stanley Parable is... God.

It's a work of game creators. It is the most erudite game about games that anyone has ever made. I don't think so. I think it's erudite. I think it has a very clear... It's very playful, but the points it makes touches on almost every single issue with game design. And when I say design, it's something that people like the points it makes touches on almost every single like issue

with game design and when i say design like it's something that people haven't really tackled before because you get these parodies like what was that action game where the guy was like that hazard that like tackles the idea of like machismo running this biz like yeah totes yeah you got it, like, you got it. This takes the idea of narrative pathways and, like, level design and... And miraculously manages to do it in a way that is not mean. There's no call-out. It's not like, hey, I mean, there are references to some games, but not in negative ways.

In good ways, yeah. In good ways, yeah, sure. It doesn't reference anything. It but not in negative ways. In good ways, yeah. In good ways, yeah, sure. It doesn't reference anything. It's not mean about anything. It just lets these issues out. In a real way, okay, so Stanley Parable, let me try it. It is about a guy who works in an office, and there is a narrator telling the story of Stanley.

And Stanley has, in the big scope of things, Stanley has one very specific mission that he is supposed to do. And if he did it that way, it would be a very traditional video game. Very short. Very short, very traditional video game. But what Stanley Parable does is it allows the player agency to defy the narrator. And the narrator and the game and everything shapes itself around the decisions the player is making. And then once it reaches its end,

it starts again and encourages that to let you explore that way. It's a very non-linear approach to exploration. You almost feel like a QA tester. It's like break the game. There's even a moment where you can think that you've gotten outside the environment and broken the game, and then the narrator chimes in.

Like there's so many moments like that where it's like, aha, I've outsmarted you. And then the narrator's like, no, you Subaru didn't. Brothers, I think, is amazing and beautiful and everyone should play it. It takes like three hours and it's absolutely transcendent. But I think that Stanley Parable is more important

and arguably better executed. And more entertaining. It's super funny and clever. I love the hell out of Stanley Parable, and I would pick Stanley Parable over Brothers. Me too. Me too. That makes it easy, because now we don't have to worry about the Brothers situation coming up anymore. So Stanley Brothers.

For what it's worth, I really enjoyed Brothers. Brothers is huge and moving, and everybody should. I just wasn't able to finish it. Just fucking. Will you please? I'll finish it when I, I really enjoyed Brothers. Brothers is huge and moving and everybody should. I just wasn't able to finish it. Just fucking. Will you please? I'll finish it when I go home. You promise? Yeah.

Promise. Sure. Promise to TV. Promise TV. I promise TV. Stanley Parable wins. I will finish it. Last matchup in this round, in this sweet, sweet 16.

All right. Don't make me. Okay. Please, God. This is actually going to close this episode, this show, right? This is our last decision. This is the last one of this episode. I've got to say it out loud so the graphic can come up.

Okay. Say it. Kentucky Route Zero versus Gone Home. Let's do it. Jock Jams. Jock Jams. Did they say Jock Jams? Oh, my God.

Yeah. Okay. Who wants to do which one? I will not do Kentucky Route Zero. I can try Gone Home. I can do Kentucky Route Zero. Kentucky Route Zero is a point and click

adventure game that is defined as much by what isn't there in terms of like gameplay and story and items and graphics as what is there. It almost uses sort of, I guess you could say, negative space.

It strips it down to its core. Which is interesting because a lot of its graphics are black and white. Right, right. It strips it down to the absolute bare essentials, and in doing that, uses those to communicate a lot of stuff about desperation and longing. And what we should say is Kentucky Rats Heroes is an episodic game.

There have been two episodes, and there are also two interludes that you could make the argument are part of the series. I think we need to count them. I'll say that because I liked one of the interludes way better than I liked the other. Oh, did you play the interludes too? I played the entertainment, which we talked about last week. Wait, we gotta do the other game.

Sorry, the other game is Gone Home. It is a very concise, I would sort of compare it in terms of linked to the original Portal. Both in tone too, because it's a very complete experience that you get in, I don't know, two, two and a half hours.

But not in tone, really? Not in tone, but in terms of it being like this full, it felt like a full, very enriching experience that is a length of a game that I think it traditionally would put people off. I think it put a lot of people off because it's a two and a half hour game. It cost 20 bucks when it came out and people raised a big stink about that. But it is a first person exploration game where you are in a house. There is, I would say, a limited amount of narration at certain key points while you're exploring this house. But you are unraveling the mystery of this family. You're a daughter in this

family. Nobody else is home. And you have to figure out why you're there where they are who they are what the like dynamic of the family is what the history of this house and this family is and it I'll be honest I it took me a long time to get around to the game because none of that sounds like stuff that I would be interested in in doing but there is something so rewarding of solving this little mystery of what this life is for these people, and it does it in a way that is just nice. It's just like a nice experience. By the time I finished it, I was happy for two straight days,

and a lot of that is, I don't know, the presentation is pretty limited. The soundtrack is really, really, really good. I think there's a really interesting comparison with Bioshock, because we talked about ambition earlier. And interestingly enough, a lot of the people who worked on this game had worked on Bioshock 2 and Bioshock 2 DLC, Minerva's Den. And when we talk about ambition and knowing kind of your limits and using them to your advantage, Gone Home, I cannot think of a better example where they looked inwards at what they wanted to say, what affects them as human beings, what they like to create in terms of these first-person games, what they don't like about them. And also what they could pull off on a certain timetable which feels so much like the the opposite of bioshock um and what they did is they stripped away uh characters that you come in contact with they stripped away ai there's no guns they they came up with a very simple mechanic that

is very original of just touching everything and touching these personal objects and that's that's so interesting in games because as video games have gotten more realistic and believable uh the objects themselves have been kind of further and further uh distanced from you or they're just like very uh formulaic so it's like oh it's a ball oh it's a box the most realistic cassette case i've ever seen in a video board board games too that like there's only like four or five of them in the house because each one must have taken them like weeks and weeks and weeks to make because, like, you pick them up and it's, like, you could see, you could imagine opening the box

and there'd be, like, rules of this game inside that somebody made. Like, I think the biggest testament to why Gone Home is so great, it's this small, thoroughly explored, neat little package, is that the entire time I played it, and I imagine I'm in the majority on this, I kept expecting a ghost to come out I'm not joking I expected a ghost to come out of a closet and fight me. Why I had such an engaging experience playing the game is because there's a pervasive feeling of dread as you're playing Gone Home and that really powers you through a lot of the game's moments and And that's all done with music, as you said, really good lighting,

like tremendous lighting, like really well-timed moments that you don't really expect. And the writing, because you know nothing about anyone when you start the game, so you get these little hints of what kind of people they are. And then you'll read a note, and you'll be like, are they cheating on each other? Is that what's going on? is this guy losing his mind and then it you you start to build these other theories of things that you know literally nothing about it's just so rewarding to like you could finish the game you could read that note that says like oh she's definitely cheating on him

then not read any more notes make it to the end of the game, and be like, did you play Gone Home? Like, man, that mom was totally cheating on that, too. But, like, if you read everything, maybe this story is not that cut and dry. The thing that's, I think, you know, what's so hard about this is I think these are so similar and dissimilar in, like, in a lot of ways that are worth talking about because Kentucky Route Zero route zero almost to the where everything in gone home feels very planned like it feels very and it's not a negative but you are supposed to find the ticket stub underneath the freezer like it's there so you find it kentucky route zero almost willfully says i don't know what do think? We put a lot of stuff out. Even to the point where

when you have dialogue in the game it is you have dialogue options that don't shape the story. It's like, I don't know. What do you think? I'll let you make that decision based on what is happening and what your mood

is and what makes sense to you. And it doesn't shape things. It's just like, if is happening and what your mood is and, like, what makes sense to you. And it doesn't shape things. It's just, like, if a game could be plain spoken, that's what Kentucky Route Zero is. It's abstract, but at the same time, very direct. Yeah. Yeah, it's even more interesting

when you start taking conversations from different, like, sides, which happens in the second action. It's like, wait, what? Two people controlling both their dialogue options. They're talking to each other and, like... And it's like, wait, what? Two people controlling both their dialogue options. They're talking to each other. And it's... I think there's this conversation between technicality almost

and folksiness that exists in both these games inverted where what you're coming in contact with and gone home is just like, this is a personal story and it very much feels like I'm walking in somebody's home. But also just like this is a personal story uh and it's very it very much feels like i'm walking in somebody's home but also like you said it is carefully planned and it is you know they know exactly what you're going to do and then they're great at that it's also not abstract

at all it's not um i i saw a lot of people say it was uh uh you know this highfalutin art game. Is it Gone Home? Yeah. There could literally be no more inaccurate word than that. It is so... It's highfalutin because you don't have a gun. I mean... It's so straightforward in the story that it tells that it's not... The thing about Connector at Zero is that, and this is what I think is really funny about it, is that it almost defies you to, if you are trying to project, like, logic and reason onto it and, like, a meaning into it, like, it's challenging you to do that. Because if you do it, it's not, hey, listen, it's not telling you to do that. It is just telling a story about a guy trying to find a road.

It's about a dude trying to find an address. guy trying to find a road yeah it's about a dude trying to find an address and if you think because of your pre wow i just completely rolled out of the way if you think because of preconceived notions that like there's a lot i mean it obviously is hit i'm being i'm being reductive because there's a lot of other stuff that's clearly under the surface yeah um but to go back to this technical folksy thing just to like put a bow on that. What I think is interesting about Kentucky Route Zero is that looking at it visually, and we kind of talked about this earlier, it looks like a video game. It looks very like point and click adventure, and it looks more like the artsy indie game. Oh my gosh. But I feel like it keeps pulling back and just being like, no, this is just a story.

This is just, like, there's a great moment in the first episode where it's like, it's weird and weird and weird. And then it pulls back and it's just people playing their banjos and guitar. And it's like, no, this is what you're here for. And there's another moment that I really, really loved. I mean, you didn't even come across to give me an example of, you know, how you might not even see these things. That's not my fault, though. No, it's not at all. The game does that on purpose, I think.

To differentiate people's experience. It lets you not see it. But there's a moment where you go into it's like a convenience store in the middle of nowhere, and you're not supposed to see it, but you kind of come across it and there's these fish tanks. And then the option is to put your hand in it. And the experiences

of putting your hand in these fish tanks are so different and yet so weird and so memorable to me. I don't even want to talk about what exactly they are because they're so perfect and unique. It's just really special. And on that token, what I would say about Kentucky Ride Zero versus Gone Home, Kentucky Ride Zero looks, plays, well, not plays, but looks and

sounds unlike any video game I've ever played. Like, bar none, does not, I cannot make a correlation to another game. Gone Home uses a lot of very familiar tropes to it. Obviously, you don't have a gun, but it's still a first-person shooter. You're using first-person shooter navigation techniques

to find these things in the world. You're talking about a point-and-click adventure game, though, dog. Like, that's not reinventing the wheel. No, but in terms of look and sound, Gone Home... I'm sorry. In terms of look and sound, Kentucky Route Zero does not... Like, the graphical style and the, like, musical style and the audio design is unlike any video game I've ever played.

Right, but I could say the same thing about Gone Home. Like, what other game has had, like had that Riot Grrrl soundtrack to it? For sure. But I would say Gone Home uses traditional first-person, it's a realistic environment. It feels familiar. I hate to do this, but we need to figure out a winner here. Here's where I'm at.

This is where I'm at. Anybody who wants to get a board okay come on this is kind of a cheat you're gonna fight because Kentucky routes you know I what I think is that the reason this is so hard for us is because this single question the last 10 minutes what we've illustrated for you at home is how absolutely utterly meaningless game of the Year discussions are. And I think that it really highlights how good of a place we're at in video games right now. Listen, I can get cynical as much as the next guy.

But you look at these two games, and they are two games that executed nigh perfectly on what they are trying. They are exactly what they want to be. They nail being that thing that they set out to be and the only reason i'm going to say we should give it to gone home there are two reasons one i'm pretty sure there's pizza outside two kentucky route zero hasn't reached its culmination yet and i would not if i had i would not play like the first hour of Gone Home and say it's better than a game that I finished.

And Kentucky Route Zero, I completely get that it has succeeded at everything it set out to do. It's just not done with itself yet. So if in the fifth episode it's all really racist, I don't want it on my hands that I said it was the best. So here's the only argument that I do want to put against that, though, is if you're talking about just a game being complete, I think, one, the episodes can stand alone.

I think the standalone intermissions can stand alone. Sure. And I think they have said as much and done as much, and if you want, it's a dumb argument, but size. They are full things. They're beefy. They're beefy. They're robust. It doesn't bother me to have it on the list.

I could talk about Kentucky Route. It's my personal. There's a lot of stuff to talk about. That's the thing. And that's the other thing. If we started talking about the entertainment, then it's a whole other crazy discussion. We could talk for two hours about that,

and everybody would literally hang themselves. But I think it's, again, talking about apples and oranges, if we talked about how similar these games are, one is completely abstract, one is the most straightforward a game can possibly be in telling a story about a very realistic game. I need choices. I've already made my choice.

That's where I'm at. Point to me. Go on. Griffin. Go on. Okay. Chris Plan is voting Kentucky Route Zero. I can see him eating it. If you look, you can see him eating the pizza.

I also have to pee. I'm like 30 seconds away from the pants. Do you know how much easier this will be for Kentucky Route Zero to swallow if they know they were beaten because we wanted pizza? In the interest of pizza and no pee pants. In the interest of pizza. Wait, wait. Can I say something?

I want to say something to you. Here's a compromise. I like Kentucky Route Zero better than Gone Home. I have enjoyed the experience of playing it better. I just think if we're saying, like, which is the better game, Gone Home. This is all you have to say to me right now. Okay. If you ask me to remember the end of anything.

No, no. Can it be here again next year after it finishes? Absolutely. Okay, then fine. And Tomb Raider Unlimited. If we're here next No, no. Can it be here again next year after it finishes? Absolutely. Okay, then fine. And Tomb Raider Unlimited. If we're here next year, though, I will be very upset. This is the first episode of the Besties. It's in the can.

We're going to be back with you soon. A few days, probably. Look at Polygon.com. And we will make all of these go against each other. Gone Home brings down Kentucky Route Zero, but it will return, as will we. So I hope you'll join us then. Until then, I'm Justin McElroy. We work at Polygon.com, and we hope you'll visit there.

And now we're all going to say besties at the same time. Okay, ready? One, two, three. Besties! Worst show. Besties!