The Besties - The Besties Podcast XXI

Episode Date: July 27, 2012

In a week of mediocre games, the Besties turns to gas station sandwiches for entertainment.This week on The Besties, Griffin's request for bombast is delivered by a mysterious figure from the South. Meanwhile, Dave Tach, the man with cherrywood vocal chords, fills in for a vacationing Justin McElroy. Will Spelunky remain the standing champion? Which demographic will Russ Frushtick offend? Can you find good food at a pitstop? There's only one way to find out! Get the full list of games (and other stuff) discussed at www.besties.fan. Want more episodes? Join us at patreon.com/thebesties for three bonus episodes each month!

I've been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars for the Nintendo DS. That game is excellent. It's really very good. What are the DS? Well, I was going to get it on iPad, but the controls didn't do much for me. And then I realized that I owned the game on the DS, and I just never played it. Oh. Yeah.

And I like it, and I think that I would be the world's best drug dealer. Yeah? What makes you qualify for that? drug dealer yeah just what what makes you qualified for that uh i just i like i'm really good at just buying low selling high uh scare tactics uh pushing pulling what is your go-to uh drug oh heroin absolutely i don't i don't even not in real life in the game so like heroin is like the biggest profit margin you know like you don't i don't even want to bother with uppers or downers and looties or loot ends cough drops like just give me that black tar give me that juice give me that horse because that's what's gonna get me the that's

what's gonna give me you know the the benzos and the Lorenzos. You know what I mean? Is there a, like, do you get punished more if you have heroin on your person in that game? Like when you get arrested? No, you can actually, if you get arrested, you can use the heroin as an item. And then you get real strong. That's not true. And you can fight your way out. It gives you a health boost

and an achievement heroin doesn't do that heroin gives you a health boost and a strength boost and achievement so um good good values good values good christian values hi everybody i'm griffin mackroy and i played a game this week hi everybody i'm christopher plant Hi everybody, I'm Christopher Plant and I kinda did the same. Hi everybody, I'm Dave Tack. What the f***? Who are you? Uh, Dave Tack. Everybody's favorite podcaster. Your voice... Not everybody's favorite podcaster, everybody's favorite Griffin replacement. Your voice sounds like if Dave Barry, or sorry, Barry what? Dave Barry?

Dave Barry what? Your voice sounds like dave barry writes there's somebody else on this call too my name is ross and i know the best game of the week yeah everybody you're listening to the besties i don't normally do this part so uh let's just get through this together every week on the besties we bring our normally do this part so uh let's just get through this together every week on the besties we bring our favorite games of the week or sometimes the only games that we have played that week and we put them together in a contest of superiority and then we take the winner of those games and then we put it against our current game of the year which at this very moment i believe is spelunky and i think we're retiring it this week.

I think we got to get rid of Spelunky, which is really too bad because I don't think any of the games we got this week are good. Not even close. Dave Tack, you're commissioning. Can you just talk for like three minutes? Just three minutes solid of your oaky honey stained pipes rules of the red rubber ball oh my god chapter one the master in the art of living makes little

distinction between his work and his play okay all. All right. Well, this isn't nearly as entertaining as I thought it was going to be. But it sounded good. Can you decide? Can you adjudicate real quick for us the order in which we will be going? Griffin will start. All right. You hear that? He knows where the power is.

It's implied, I guess. Okay. I think then Chris, then Russ. Okay. That sounds good to me my game this week is Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars for the Nintendo DS it's really good

it's surprising how they've squished the whole Grand Theft Auto experience into it, you can sell drugs it's a lot of fun that just came out this week? yeah it's a HD reboot. What store did you buy that at?

I bought it at the Shop and Save. Funkoland? I bought it at Funkoland. My game this week is Reketeer. It came out on Xbox Live Arcade, and it came out this week. And how many other games did you play this week? Any queues? It is a Kinect title. Oh, it's out this week. And how many other games did you play this week? Any queues? It is a Kinect title.

Oh, it's Kinect. Yeah, it's better with Kinect. Is it really? It's required with Kinect. Here's the thing about Reketeer, and I deliberated bringing it on or just digging up an iOS game really quick that I could sort of just sh** my way through the episode,

as we are frequently wanting to do. But here's the thing about Reketeer. The thing that is not good about Reketeer is not the Kinect controls. The Kinect controls work pretty well. And honestly, I think that it is more fun than it would be with just a controller. The Kinect controls are fun. And in that context, like, Reketeer as a party game, it totally works. And, like, passing it. What are you doing exactly? It is basically, it is Angry Birds-esque.

Only instead of just sort of firing it and then having very very little input on your shot after you fire it like you have an angry birds again angry birds you have the shot where you can fire it and then touch the screen to send it firing down or split it off um in racketeer your shots move molasses slow uh even the speed shot moves pretty slow um but you can you can manipulate your shot in midair, either by slapping it around to sort of change its trajectory, or there's a bomb shot you can detonate in midair to try and take out a bunch of load-bearing pillars.

Like a bridge is best to take out with stuff like that. There's a flying shot that you can steer around the level and pick up power-ups and stuff like that. But each shot takes a minute to do, all things considered, like lining it up and then firing it and then manipulating it. And all of that stuff works really well. The problem with Reketeer is that it feels like the destruction in the game is completely random. Like there's no way to get a good beat on it. And it's really frustrating when you line up a shot that in the past,

like this strategy has worked for you before and totally destroyed entire castles in one blow. Only this time, for reasons beyond your understanding, instead of like taking out a whole wall, it'll just punch a hole through that wall and do, like, 10, you'll get, like, 10 points. And the scoring is cumulative. So you get a multiplier based on how much of the level you've destroyed. So if you, like, fuck up your first shot, you're done on that level.

Like, if you don't break a certain multiplier limit, there's no way that you're going to be able to get any medals on that level like if if you don't break a certain multiplier limit there's no way that you're going to be able to get any metals on that level um because destruction isn't like it's not like angry birds or even boom blocks is another is another point of comparison where you know exactly how it's going to shake out because the bricks are their own standalone things and you understand how they work. It's one big building and it collapses in ways that is just completely chaotic and unpredictable, which sometimes works in your favor. Like sometimes you think you totally messed a shot up

and it manages to make its way throughout the entire level, bouncing around, killing everything. But when you screw it up and then you have to restart the longness of each shot it just it just kills you man it's like you spend 10 minutes really getting a level down perfectly and then if you screw up a shot and you don't have any mulligans then like you have to do the whole thing over again and that's a really uninviting prospect after a while are you standing

up while you're playing this game yeah yeah yeah you're standing up can you sit on a couch i don't think so no because the way that it uh tracks your uh the the power with which you're doing the shot is you have to step forward and actually grab your shot and then walk it backwards and so you can you lay down on a couch and go to sleep yeah you can do that you can also go out to arby's need a roast beef sandwich but you won't be able to play the game when you do it that doesn't sound that bad it sounds actually pretty good um if my game this week could be going to arby's and eating a junior roast beef sandwich then i would bring that but unfortunately it's not interactive digital entertainment um so that's racketeer it really is it's fun in small doses and the connect controls

work great and it's it's a lot of fun until until a shot of yours that you thought was going to be totally baller isn't because there's absolutely like it seems like there's no rhyme or reason to the way things fall apart which is by the way that's my favorite All-American Rejects album. Not your favorite Chinoa Echebe book? It's your favorite All-American Rejects album? They did the album cover of the book. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I don't know. I really, I wasn't expecting anything from Reketeer. It was actually kind of a delightful surprise that it wasn't totally miserable and i think it deserves some credit because uh iron galaxy like figured out how to make connect work in a way that few games have like for me it's like child of eden and fruit ninja connect and dance central are like the only three that have really nailed it down um and they got the controls down it's just just the world. Got that game not working. Yeah. The game, that's the problem.

It works. It's just, it could work better. Need more fun. Fun factor. Needed. We give the fun factor a really, like, sad face. Frowny face, yep. Yeah.

So that's her tier. That's a good chance. I hope that the... Was Spelunky in the Summer of arcade it seems like this summer of arcade has been kind of it wasn't was it it wasn't so uh just to talk about summer of arcade real quick i'm there are a couple games i'm excited for um dead light i think that comes out next week that light looks good dust looks totally balling looks really good and hybrid is not really a game i would probably play but it looks no but it's it's

it's got some interest i haven't played it at all but it's got really interesting ideas and i love fifth cell yeah um so so maybe that'll be good but like i don't know it seems like they always save their hot jams for i i've almost always gotten the summer of arcade like bonus from buying all the games and i could not recommend buying buying tony hawk pro skater hd or or racketeer at its current price yeah that's uh i don't think they uh brought their hot jams this year i do not think i i know say i don't think so um to uh to jet skate jet grind radio hd it's not out until later this year. I think October, maybe?

I thought that was a summer game. No, that's a summer game. No, no. You would think that because it is the type of game that makes sense for a long, hot summer evening. But no, I think it is set out for a chilly fall afternoon. With a glass of wine.

With a glass of wine. You sit there with your loved one and you uh you tag who's up next that would be uh chris chris plant uh just fact checking uh it it's it's slated for a summer 2012 release on xbla playstation network windows and ios okay so maybe it will come out maybe there's hope or maybe sure maybe this will be the worst summer for xbox downloadable games ever what we're pinning our hopes on a remake right now yeah that's that's that's that's really too bad i mean we had spelunky so technically that was in the summer. Yeah, it wasn't in Summer of Arcade, but it's just because of a scheduling thing. I mean, it's effectively, you could consider it a Summer of Arcade game because it's an exclusive.

Yeah. Okay, so my game is called Spy vs. Spy. If you're older... Oh, you're doing like the kind of goof that i did where i brought a game that was like super super old no no no this is super super old it's a remake for the ios devices okay um and i believe it's somehow made by the same company that made it originally first star software yeah or like what remains of this company in some capacity how are they not all dead i think there's probably like an iron lung somewhere deep beneath

the sea that is developing this game that just churns out remakes of spy versus spy i i was crushed because i really loved spy versus spy like loved this. I could have sworn this was my favorite game. And because I don't have a working NES, I just could not, you know, prove or disprove this theory. So when people ask me, what is your favorite game? I'd be like, oh, you know, I love Earthbound. Spy vs. Spy, that's got to be up there, right? And now I've played it again for the first time since i was like seven maybe younger and it's not fun at all it's like punishment it is a game in which you are just

punished repeatedly for one not knowing how to play it and then once you do learn how to play it because you will confuse where a map is because nothing makes sense where any of the buttons are then you're just punished for being in rooms in the game i guess i should explain how the game works for anyone who hasn't played spy versus spy it's basically like the cube movies if memory serves kind of like that it's so you uh you are either the white or the black spy from Mad Magazine's cartoon, Spy vs. Spy. You have to collect four items that are in different rooms of a 2D world. And you can travel between these rooms by going through doors or through holes in rugs or up ladders. There's all different ways to get from room to room. It's very confusing

because all the rooms look the same. In each of these rooms are different objects like a painting or a bureau, and you check these objects. And when you check them, you might find one of the four items that you're looking for. You also have to find the briefcase, the coveted briefcase, because the briefcase allows you to hold all four items at once. So a lot of the times what you're doing is finding an item, moving it to somewhere that you think it might be safer, and then the final piece of the puzzle, you have five different booby traps that you can use, like a bomb or a bucket of water that goes above doors, or a gun that can be, like, wired to a door and a bureau. Which of

these is not very violent at all? You have a bomb, a gun, and a bucket of water. Oh, there's also a spring, so don't worry, there are two pacifist weapons, but they, all of them kill you, no matter what. You turn into an angel and die. I don't agree with the lethality of a bucket of water

and a gun being even remotely equivalent. Do they actually say that it's water? That's the thing. It could be acid. Yeah, but what kind of bucket would be able to hold acid? A rubber bucket. Yeah, have you not watched Breaking breaking bad or read any science book or done any science in your life ever yeah i thought the only bucket that could hold acid was an acid

bucket like made of acid you freeze the acid and then you put acid in it right moron it's like how diamond can cut a diamond right and nothing else can acid can cut acid did you even go to school russ i went to a school didn't we discuss i went to phoenix university oh that's right phoenix right university phoenix right university okay so i'll finish this off really quick yeah the problem with the game is one it controls like ass uh two you you you collect all these things right if you enter a room with someone else with the other player the other spy whether it be uh an actual person playing or the computer you immediately lose everything you're a whole like we're holding so you have to fight them you have to because if you want your items, you either surrender and run

away and they get them, or you fight them. And the fighting in this game is just purely random. There are three buttons that, from what I can tell, don't do anything different. They should be a Roshan bow, but I don't think they are. And you just jam these three buttons that are away from where you would actually move your character, and you have to be pressed exactly up against these characters and i said it's a 2d world but you can move up and down like it's a 3d space so you're never quite in line with people so it's just you both of you trying to realign with each other and then pray that you're the one who knocks the other one out and then you get their briefcase and then you make it to the exit and win so the goal really would be to just trail the other spy, let him collect everything,

and then just beat the snot out of him, 50-50 odds, and exit the building. I mean, it's such a broken design idea. And I get why I liked it as a kid, because there's nothing else like it where you can set booby traps and espionage and collect cool things and i'm sure it was awesome then and maybe even awesome 10 years ago but now especially with the touch controls it is just death what what what sucks it sounds like the kind of game that is just like it's like one gameplay mechanical way from being good it's like if there was one regulation in there because everything in there like the the the booby trapping sounds great and the sort of hide and go seeking like that's great

like i'm all about stuff like that but if you just sort of like throw all that shit together without any any plan for blending them well like it's not gonna work. I can't believe I'm breaking down and criticizing a game that came out on the NES. I also don't really care for the race war aspects of the game.

You're both orange. Well he doesn't play backgammon for this very reason. Honestly like we're trying to live in one world. Yeah, we got one world. We got to share it. Stop dropping buckets of acid on people who are a different ethnicity than you, the world. I just like that somebody designed this game.

And I think the people who designed this game were like, they were geniuses. These are like, you know, they like had traveled the world. They had read many many many great books uh and they came up with this strategy game like oh it'll be so well balanced there'll be all these traps you'll need specific things to diffuse them you'll have to decide whether you want to carry items or like store items uh but then when the two people meet in the same room you'll just hit the screen and then whoever hit the screen the hardest uh they win the game and it's like oh yes yes i see that's that's a great strategy that's that's perfect you're saying if they had maybe had one more genius on the team yeah just one guys um i don't that sounds actually wicked stupid, why can't he just hold more stuff?

Why does he need a briefcase? Because he's too busy carrying around a bucket of acid. It's very precarious. You're also carrying a bomb, a bucket of acid, a gun, a spring, and something else.

Can I combine the spring and the bucket of acid to create some sort of projectile acid bucket throwing device? You would hope but no can i just use the gun to shoot the other guy in the f***ing head no oh right i gotta put right i got i gotta put it on a door first on a bureau yeah i don't know too many games that have bureaus there i i gotta give them that yeah the other good thing i will say about the game is you can play the original version like it looks and sounds like a commodore 64 game which is fun i mean as a distraction and also in that version when you whack each other you literally just pound the screen you don't have

to like choose from three random buttons that appear to be doing nothing different you just kind of tap at the screen and then somebody dies so it happens the the tedious part of it just goes by more quickly it just passes over you brief segue does anyone here know what the 64 in commodore 64 stood for because like n64 was 64 bit right yeah so is this like a smaller kind of bit that commodore 64 i want you to just sort of like go down a list of numbers and say them after commodore and we'll see if any of them like sound better they're commodore 39 no way no absolutely definitely works commodore 16 i don't know that sounds more like an AOL instant messenger.

What about like Commodore 8? You do understand why it's 64, right? No. 64 kilobytes of RAM. It was invented in 1964. Also, it was too ahead of its time. They had to wait. It launched alongside table tennis for two.

Exactly. It's intermission time. Does anybody have anything they had to wait they're like launched alongside table tennis for two exactly um it's intermission time does anybody have anything they want to say and talk about any special events hi oh my god it's like a audio hug how you guys doing it's good it's doing better he is the blue label of voices dave tech tell me about your week so far. Work. Yeah, I know about that because we work together. Games. Games. Do that together too. But... It was lunch.

What did you eat for lunch? I usually forget to take lunch. What was the last exciting food adventure that you went on? I got an email from Sheetz, which is a gas station. I'm familiar with Sheetz. Yeah.

And they were doing $4 footlongs. Wait a second. Like as a poke in the eye. A gas station hot dog? No. It's a sandwich, right? Oh, a footlong sub, yeah. Yeah.

Sheetz specializes in sandwiches. So let's back up here, because you got an email from a gas station telling you to come down and eat one of their gas station sandwiches. So I did. Okay, Dave. How did they get your email address? I must have given them something. Did you subscribe to the Sheetz sandwich delivery deal hotline email if if they had a sandwich delivery

service i'd never have to leave oh dave this makes i like i'm not gonna hate on sheets because their sandwiches are good but i don't need them to be a part of my social media landscape but but if but if i didn't sign up for that right how would i have known about the four dollars up you wouldn't and that's what's so beautiful about this world of ours is that i didn't know about it and i just kept on living you know you drive to a gas station and for the food specifically like not to fill up when was the last time you got excited to go to a gas station i very rarely exactly well we don't have cars that's why I said rarely. Right.

Well, that's not an issue with sheets. You can just go get a sandwich. I just Googled sheets because I thought I would have more trouble because sheets are something people put on their beds. But no, sheets came up right away. Yeah. beds uh but no sheets came up right away oh it is spelled s h e e t z oh damn i was not expecting that they put that on there so that you don't get it confused with bedding uh which is understandable first first thing that comes up after that question does sheets buy middle eastern gas that's what's so great it's all it's all home-brewed it's all organic and it's all cage-free gasoline free range gasoline free

range racist gasoline uh you know what game they would love is probably spy versus spy i think probably we're gonna get the answer about Middle East gas? Oh, no, you're not. I'm not going to read it out loud. They do get Middle East mustard, though. So you can no longer get... They also serve hummus. Yeah, and that's...

I appreciate the pronunciation of hummus. Yeah, it's very accurate. Well, apparently Daveave tax highlight of the last six months was going to a gas station and buying a sandwich that makes me the saddest man this is all your fault griffin how is this my fault i'm not saying i'm proud of it guys is this ohio or is this just you no this is pretty much just me i but i think that is not true i'm looking at google images and there are a lot of people excited about sheets you can't just divorce the man from from the

the territory you know i think dave tack makes ohio what it is and vice versa you know we have an election coming up i think later this year yeah and great i can't wait to talk about it on the podcast ohio has always been a bit of a battle state and it sounds to me like where people should be stumping is not you know at the vfw no sheets this is sheets this is where people are going sheets sheets so you're still saying you're still putting that hard s on it she shit she that's all i can think of is whenever yeah just just blue sky in this though right there's if there's a an elderly man who who wants me to vote a party line between me and my $4 footlong, I'm not sure that that's going to have the effect that he desires.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Hey, Russ, do you want to talk about your game now? I would, but I'm a little concerned about something, because you remember last week? No.

Griffin said that he felt that I was lacking in bombast in in the weeks in the am i about to reap what i sowed and honestly i you know i would agree i don't think you know it might just be me i don't know that i'm capable of offering the sort of romp and excitement that Griffin is looking for in a podcast. Dave Tack, buckle your ass up. But I do happen to know someone who is. Come on in here. Well, howdy, folks! Who is this?

My name's Texarkana Tumbleweed. My friends call me Davey, but you can call me Texarkana Tumbleweed. Okay, I won't. Hi, Tex. Howdy. You guys talking about Cheats? I love that place. Oh, good. Holy cow, they make the best sandwiches. Woo, doggies.

We are really assaulting the sensibilities of the flyover states this episode. Let me just tell you, when I had my wedding, this was my fourth wedding, not my third. I had my wedding this was my fourth wedding not my third i had my wedding at sheets they catered the whole thing everyone came filled up had a wedding left it was great can you just tell me like what people group right now you are representing is it texans i'm my own people okay yeah you don't sound like uh anyone from the south no no no you said you know i live in a place

that most people haven't heard of okay is it texarkana because i have it's not it's not texarkana that's not why they call me that is it no it's not tumbleweed either little town called dylan texas yeah okay so okay so how's the football there tex oh we got a good one this year we got a team and a half this year that's illegal you are not allowed to have a team and a half there's very we got them there's very important authorities because we got them okay so texarkana tell me about your game well i got a little game this week you know this lily livered northern some bitch named roast brush dick asked me to bring a game i was like i don't even what is this video games you talking about uh but then i was looking online

and i saw a little game called shell razor and i liked it because it had a bit of a some word play in the title yeah it was because it was about a turtle right now based on just based on like your dialect and your voice i'm assuming that you love like subtle puns and metaphors see see i like it when the words mean two different things at once and in this case because it's about a turtle you got the shell right because turtles have shells i've heard that and then you have razor which is like you're shaven but not really it's like you're raising raising hell with the turtle so the shell and then you're raising it got it i got it just tell me about the game okay so this game shell razor has you controlling this turtle and he's marching

along the beach and there's i guess they're little like beastie things like they're green and they got pointed ears and they're running at the turtle they ain't happen with this turtle and the turtle meanwhile has some buddies on his back right and these buddies got machine guns and they got rocket launchers and they got other sorts of explosives honestly it's like fourth of july on the turtle back okay and these turtles this turtle i'm sorry there's just one turtle worth noting though the turtle he's he's got one quest in mind he's got to get through these green pointy haired beastie guys to get to his long lost turtle love and that appeals what part of that appeals to your decidedly southwestern honestly i like

stories about love and emotion especially involving turtles i am surprised to hear you say that i'll be honest i speak with my heart and my mind with your hat heart okay could you also speak with your hat i can't do that i'm sorry okay so your game just tell me straight up if it's any good or not oh man is it good it's funner than a frog doing something on another frog let me just tell you. So you can get this turtle. He's got like the friends on his back.

You can upgrade those friends. So they're shooting like better rockets. And they're doing more damage. And they're like shooting up in the sky. Shooting balloons and such. And eventually you just march along. And more friends are joining you. And eventually you get just march along and more friends are joining you. And eventually, you get to your turtle love.

And you have yourself a turtle picnic. It's lovely. It just, I don't know. It doesn't have that robust edginess. What more could you want? You got turtles. You got rocket launchers. You got turtle picnics at the end. No i'm saying it everything everything yeah everything you just said sounds great to me

turtle picnics i love it i guess what i'm having a hard time understanding is why a business like i'm assuming uh you hold a rural occupation maybe maybe some sort of farming job or perhaps ranching no uh well i i play farmville so that's the farming but i also i work at the ikea you know that place i i do i can't believe i can't believe you are not so racist that you would enter the ikea no i i like i i have a bureau named splorg okay that thing i'll tell you well that's a little racist six dollars and it's been in my apartment for three weeks just fell apart a little bit not the whole thing just a little bit what is the name of your candelabra i don't got a candelabra that sounds too fancy but you have an ios but like you have an ios device on which to play this game

yeah i got me a an ipad retina okay so you are a walking contradiction let me just tell you you can't judge people before you meet them because then you don't know what you're gonna get did you call that prejudice you might call it prejudice if you wanted to go to some fancy northerner hippie west virginia school okay see there it is now we're now we're cooking now we're cooking with dumb gas um okay well thanks for joining us texarkana please just never ever come back for any reason i mentioned the picnic right okay oh my god this picnic if we could write into the fiction some sort of bus accident involving texarkana i think it's more like the end of shane where we see him just

right off into the sun we know he's dead yeah what if he literally rides off into the actual sun in space and burns oh doggie that would hurt yep sure would bye tex bye take care y'all okay bye Okay, bye, Tex. Thanks for everything. Pew, pew, pew, pew. What was that, guys? I think that was shooting guns. I think Russ just got shot. I think it was more of a celebratory, like a goodbye. Like a Yosemite Sam sort of shooting him in the ear. Like when two planes pass each other and they wave their wings.

I think that's what we just experienced. He liked that game, though, I got to sayuss i no dave take over yeah fly the ship into the port into the ocean got it uh so my choices are uh a game where you have to stand and that doesn't work doesn't work for you but you'll stand to go to the sheets to eat a sandwich usually okay burns calories uh the other game is where you have to walk through doors to go to rooms and it kills your childhood and then the other one was something about Splorg the Bureau. Okay. You know what? There is the option of not crowning a winner. I don't think that's an option,

but I do not think this is the week that we should kick Spelunky off. I think we just let Spelunky stay. I think we let Spelunky ride for one week. We make a special exception. We make a stay of execution on Spelunky. Keep that one on, but of the three games, Dave Tack, what are you leaning towards? Racketeer. Really?

Dave Tack, let me just say, because I know Texarkana was sort of pitching his game. I happened to get some time to play it while he was here. Real real talk this game is a hell of a lot of fun which record would you say would you say it's a shell of a lot of fun no i don't really care would you say that it's worth shelling out a dollar for it it's yeah it's worth noting

that it's a dollar and it's it is damn fun it's basically like a 90s era shoot-em-up. Like, you know, Sunset Riders? It feels like Sunset Riders, but with a turtle. I sure am glad that you told us about this. Yeah, I was really on the razor's edge of which side I'd fall on. No,

that's not a pun. This game is my chitin-shining armor, because turtles have chitin shining armor. Because turtles have chitin kind of shells. I would fight strongly for Shell Razor. It's excellent. Oh, well I never got the impression that it was excellent.

You don't have to get snapping. Yeah, we don't need a retard at all. I love that whenever this show is bad we can just take on a string of puns and just let that carry us through oh is that what was going on yeah yeah oh my god yeah god it i'm the only one that can with any like any encouragement like pitch their game like i actually want people to go out and buy this game. Well, then it wins. Yeah. Damn straight it does.

That was my fault. I think that's fair. No, I think that was actually Texarkana's fault. You know, it's not your fault. Yeah, it's Texarkana's fault. Because maybe he got a little too excited about his job at Ikea and wasn't willing to really give the game. His improv class lessons. He really went on a tangent.

Right. Selling it as 4th of July on a turtle's back. Yeah. It was not something that made me want to spend my dollar. So it wins, but it doesn't. We're going to keep Spelunky on this week, right? Are we agreed? I think that's fine.

Okay. So that's how things shook out this week. Guys, it might be kind of rough and tumble for a while i was looking at the release calendar and i just dead light comes out next week that's a good sign okay yeah but i just expect some dry patches here and there i would say moving there's a good srpg coming out on vita oh grow lancer yeah yeah yeah um that's uh well it's actually coming out on psp it sounds sort of like not appropriate yeah it sounds like when you um it sounds like a like a uh like a penis like it involves tentacles in some way so that's our show this week it's called the bessies you can read our stuff at uh polygon right now we live

on the verge's couch so we're at the verge.com slash gaming and you can find all of our content there um subscribe to us on itunes and rate us um and so do that and tell a friend and uh it's gonna get better you guys it can only get better uh thank you for listening and tune in next week for the besties because we're best friends and woo doggie Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy!

Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Woo doggy! Besties!