The Besties - The Besties Podcast XXXI (archive)

Episode Date: October 7, 2012

Special thanks to Salivation Army for recovering this episode from the archives! Get the full list of games (and other stuff) discussed at www.besties.fan. Want more episodes? Join us at patreon.com/thebesties for three bonus episodes each month!

did you see the tweet that kitchen kitchen aid put up yeah that choice kitchen i didn't it was so let me find it cross promo cross promo they did a they did a bit of uh cross promo they did some tweet marketing some uh they live blogged uh so kitchen aid usa's twitter account tweeted obama's gma even knew it was going to be bad she died three days before he became president what the official KitchenAid followed up

not immediately but relatively soon after hello everyone my name is Cynthia Soledad and I'm the head of the KitchenAid brand. Deepest apologies for an irresponsible tweet. That is no way of representation of the brand's opinion. Okay, brands can't have opinions, first off.

That is troubling. Brands are people, so yes. Yeah. You tweet about blenders. The one thing you have to not do is tweet about anything other than blenders please they use truth sweet rolling that's why you don't use do you think it was an accident you think this person is like hey guys i know i want to live in a universe where a member of the kitchen aid twitter team uh thought this was a good idea thought i know, I know what the KitchenAid audience is going to just love.

Dead presidential family members. Get ready for Gafaz, guys. Get ready for a lot of artsies on this one. And in that right, they did succeed because it got blown up. It got blown up. And that person, you know, they're going to lose their job, but it's going to give them a lot more time to work on their five minutes of stand-up material. Let me tell you about it, Chris it's it's today the tech web it's it's all about disruption yep My name is Justin McElroy, and I know the best game to read. My name is Griffin McElroy.

Are we all going to talk like the aliens? My name is Justin McElroy, and that gum you like is going to come back in style the chair is green are there other people on this podcast not that i know of uh hi my name is chris plant and i know the best game of the week my name is russ fursnick and i know the best game of the week do you ever feel like you want to try something else? Just like once. He did try something. That one almost was like he fell asleep while he was doing it.

It's like jazz. It's the words you don't hear that makes you great. Justin, are you going to intro the show now that we've all introduced ourselves? This is the besties where we take the top games and we pit them against each other

to figure out which one is the best and then we take that one and we make that one fight against the other one we're batting like 750 on this is unsustainable this show is running on a fuel reserve that was expended 15 episodes ago

oh what you know people are people never um podcasts always seem to die by the next episode not getting made and i think that's a real miss i I think podcasts should – there's got to be a podcast that dies mid-episode. Like the death is never scripted into it. Yeah, sure. One day you're going to tune into the besties and be like, I wonder why this episode is 13 minutes long. And then that's how you'll know. It's like when you find the gold bars in Looper.

Right. Yes, exactly. Looper spoilers. Looper spoilers. Man, that movie was good. I watched that movie yesterday. Can I tell you something about Looper that has nothingoper spoilers. Man, that movie was good. I watched that movie yesterday. Can I tell you something about Looper that has nothing to do with the ending? No, no, no.

Because then I'm just waiting for your stupid scene to come up while I watch the movie. No, no, don't worry, Justin. No, I literally have nothing about the— You can tell me. Okay, good. I'm just talking to Chris, but it has literally nothing to do with the ending. We are in the—we are watching the movie, and it is the final 10 minutes um and a fire alarm starts oh oh man yeah the last 10 minutes of the movie we had to vacate the theater oh no stand outside for

20 minutes and it was like an emotional climax. It was peaking back off. I was ready to emote. I was ready to feel. And my heart is very rarely... Wait, there's a climax to this movie? Why are you ruining the whole thing? So, that was disappointing. Do you want to know the saddest ending of a movie that I've ever experienced? I saw Dr. Strangelove

in a movie theater. And in case you're the one person who doesn't know how the movie ends a nuclear bomb drops and the whole world goes up in flames so i'm seeing this in like a classic art house and the bomb drops and this like 70 old woman behind me goes oh my god no what's happening and she was shocked just playing you are a snobby little bastard she was going into cardiac arrest that this is how the world ends that at the end of this comedy i'm going into cardiac arrest as to how snobby you are with your art house cinema i'm sorry have you ever watched like an afi top 100 they're on abc why is watching basic programming snobby Top 100? They're on ABC.

Why is watching basic programming snobby? Well, prefacing it with, I went to an art house cinema and saw a film that was 93 in the AFI Best 100 list. It was number 4. Sir, would you like

some popcorn or perhaps a pipe? I saw Closer in theaters by myself on the day after christmas yeah that's sad yikes i saw willard remember that movie that's a tv show end of sentence uh this is of course the besties which we've already discussed done that we're gonna talk about the new games of the week um Big changes coming for the besties. Well, I don't think anybody's requested it. But the fact that four people now listen to our show, I think it's request enough.

So we're going to be making some big changes. But for this week, let's just keep it all the bad way. Because then when the changes happen, everybody will think, God, it's about time for those changes. When you say changes, people are thinking it's probably about the rules or the structure. It is. And it is not. In a way, it definitely will be.

Actually, people are probably just hoping for different hosts. No, I think people are going to see the changes and they're going to go, no really no i think we're gonna mix we're gonna mix it all up uh so our new flavor yeah so our current game is still ftl let's start going okay who wants to be commissioner this week you because you didn't play anything ah all right i'll be the commissioner this week i did for for the record i did play things uh i'm playing fable the journey which obviously i can't talk about and i'm playing dishonored which obviously i can't talk about that too can i have that next week we can't um and i played borderlands which is good by the way i like that a lot better than borderlands one um i'm also reading so anyway

uh griffin mcroy tell me about your hit game my game is pokemon black version 2 also white version 2 but i play black version 2 rust please rust please i know you are about to make a joke about race like you were going to try and incite some sort of race joke mime am i wrong mime mr okay so you're doing mr mime um here's this here's the scoop here's the skinny here's why it is uh here's why it was not uh an awful game. I don't know if I really want to hear your opinion, because I read the comments, and you're not a real Pokemon fan. Yeah, that's true. You got me. You got me, that one commenter.

Way to give him a global soapbox upon which to broadcast his craziness. Chris, play it. Here's what's up with Black and White 2. It's a sequel to Black and white which is unusual usually they go with like a tertiary fusion of the two like versions that came before it like blue and red had yellow and gold and silver had crystal it's not really like that it's not like the same game with uh a couple new things it's got a new uh plot it's got but the starters are the same yeah the starters are the same why wouldn't you change that i think that would be confusing for people because it's not the start these games move in generations and this is

technically the same generation as the as black and white um it's still let me get out of the way it's still incredibly similar to the games that came out you know 56 years ago like it's still let me get out of the way it's still incredibly similar to the games that came out you know 56 years ago like it's still basically the same format of you pick the starter you catch the guys you get the eight batches you beat the final four and the elite four and then you is there a bulbasaur not natively no um there are 300 Pokemon that you can catch natively in this one version of the, I guess, two versions of the game, which is more than any other game, which sounds like a totally superficial, dumb thing, but it keeps you from just running into the same guys over and over again, and then you sort of develop a strategy based around your team.

I could never settle on a team that could beat anything that was like that could beat everything that was thrown at it how many bedoofs do you have on your team six it's an all bedoof super squad are they doing well they're not they have a good bite move jesus um so so that is that is one thing. The big new mode is PokéStar Studios, which every single mode like this that they've added to the games has been a complete miss for me. Like the musical mode where you do like these almost QTEs to dance along with these routines and dress up your Poké. Like none of that has ever appealed.

Like they just jump completely away from the the core stuff of what makes the series good for these pretty shitty minigames but but this mode is actually kind of like a pokemon puzzle mode where you have to complete these different battle conditions using preset pokemon so you have to like figure out which moves to use in which order so it's like madden like those history games in madden where you're like down by 14 points and you only have 30 seconds left but with pokemon i guess sports that's not even in madden anymore but it used to be you're you're using you're using madden yeah to illustrate a point in pokemon i'm not. I'm not sure who you just alienated,

but you alienated him really hard. Okay, so basically, like, your Squirtle has one arm and is really depressed. Win this battle. Why would that happen? I'm just saying, that seems like a tough battle to win. That sounds like a perverted reality.

You have Russ on your podcast, and you want to make your podcast your weeping Bell just got infected with DDT he's feeling really down about it he has 66 hours to live show him a good time your Tobin Bell feels over identified with the character jigsaw and he wants to break out um so so that's a thing that's uh that's pretty good there's i mean there's the the new stuff is going to sound completely silly when i describe it but it adds a substantial amount to the game that's not just like stupid appendages that that nobody gives a shit about like i actually played a lot of the of the poke star puzzle what is the what is the when you attack a new pokemon what is the what is it you're going back for i mean what is it that you are looking forward to getting um i my favorite thing about the series is putting together like a team and i like that it's never i like that i have you know up to

this point like 600 options to do that with um and i like not just having the same team from the beginning of the game all the way to the end of the game like every other rpg that you can think of first off you're not dealing with as many characters but but second off you find what you like early we should put quotes around characters because let's be honest what it's not like chancy is uh cloud strife what are you talking about video game characters in general are shallow like yeah but chancy doesn't have dialogue like i'm not saying they're deep characters are art design i would say chancy has more character development than anyone in gears of war it's out there in fact if somebody made it all chancy did you forget

about that chancy um i i go back for that and and in this game, since there are just so many Pokemon, like that, I don't think, my team was changing like hour to hour, which kept things really fresh for me. I got a question for you. Yeah, shoot. Which Pokemon would you make a real life pet and why? This is tricky. That's a good question.

It is a good one oh god i wouldn't want anything too humanoid you know yeah so not mr mime not definitely not mr mime mr mime is basically a dude you basically caught a dude a mime what about ghastly no ghastly is too spooky also i bet ghastly smells terrible he also that terrible. You got that. What about Hitmonchan? Hitmonchan, also a dude. Punching dude. Mewtwo? Would you count Mewtwo as a dude? Mewtwo can talk human English.

That's what I mean. Yeah, definitely. That's like having Danny DeVito live with you. Danny DeVito is like Squirtle. It's just a bald man painted blue with a little tail on. DeVito. DeVito live with you. No, Danny DeVito is like Squirtle. It's just a bald man painted blue with a little tail on. DeVito. DeVito. I, I, I, see, your gut reaction is, of course, to say Pikachu.

No, that's a horrible idea. You know he would be needy. You know, like, you just know that you can't set him down for, like, 30 seconds to just do your business. Yeah. Also, I want something that I can put in a fucking pokeball. Stay in there. I don't want to deal with you right now. Like a wife.

Like a wife. I think, wait. Oh, I said something out loud that you said, just repeating it, but I didn't think about how awful it was before. That was not an agreement. I would probably go with Jinx, because you you could really f**k the s**t out of a jinx okay that's unacceptable i prefer manky myself but that's fine whoa this jinx is a pokemon yeah it's a cat no jinx is like a it's like a sexy woman what the jinx is like a jinx jy jynx i'm gonna here i'll drop an image in you are gonna love how this pokemon looks

well that's blackface jinx does kind of look like blackface that's weird wait why do you i take it back i do not want to fuck this pokemon at all. I don't want this Pokemon to exist on the planet, please. It's a horrifying Jim Crow caricature. It is bamboozled Pokemon edition. It's nightmarish. I hate it. I hate this Pokemon. You were asking which Pokemon I would most like want to to bone down on right

oh oh god what am i saying ditto of course ditto can transform into any pokemon next question wait isn't that your nickname it is next question please okay uh my next question is are we done with this segment yeah i think we are done it sounds like it's just pokemon again yeah i'm not convinced okay i mean it is if you haven't played a pokemon i think it's the best one to do so far really but you don't know all the backstory what all the intrigue that's gone on before okay let me ash get here here's the here the backstory. You have done this exact thing eight times. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Ash isn't in it. Ash died. Ash died? Ash died at the end of Pokemon Go. What's your guy's name now? Oh, his name? Yeah. His name is Dash. Is there some part of you, as a Poke fan,

is there a part of you that longs for some sort of more meaningful reinvention yes i of course every like what if you were building a team but you were doing something where the purpose was beyond personal jump to jump to uh it doesn't even have to be like that like look at a pokemon conquest which came out earlier this year which was basically i'm looking at it okay it basically had the same format as a pokemon game in terms of catching and training but then it put it in like this turn-based rpg format that that was really i mean it had its its fair share of faults as a strategy game but the core combat of it was was nice it like it worked really really well um like something like that like just anything yeah would would make this great like

why not make a 3d open world pokemon game like do that shit on wii u there that's a money that's a there's a billion dollars for you too expensive too too expensive yep they're making they're making a billion dollars already why would they spend more money to make another billion dollars just keep if they keep putting out the same sprites over and over again it's cheap no it's my idea for microsoft make make a really really beautiful pokemon clone and then put that game out on windows 7 too so i can play it on some fancy high def console and then i'm like hey i want to take my pika xbox uh wherever i go and then i can play with it and you know train him on the go yeah and i can take him back and put him in the game that's it that's a good point the reason why this series hasn't evolved

is probably because there is no competition for it whatsoever if you have ever played a clone of it like a game that anybody developed on pc or ios or even other like franchises that are similar to this they're shitty they're like not nearly as good as this thing and without that competition there's no need for them to if you'll pardon the pun evolve you know i've just uh realized something uh in japan they put a lot of less effort into naming these characters because like haunter is just ghost crabby is just crab like guys put a little effort got it this is the most i've ever talked about pokemon crab since i was 14 we're gonna move on i want to hear 48th i've ever talked about pokemon uh chris plant let me hear about your game what do you got cooking i got a game called super monsters ate my condo uh

and you might have actually sounds like an adult swim jam it is an adult swim jam and it already kind of exists uh as just monsters ate my condo uh and the premise of both is such there are two monsters on the left and right side of the screen and in the middle is a stack of condo floors and you align they're different colors like red blue yellow green and if you align those colors yeah yeah you know and then when you align three uh they become a bronze and if you align three bronzes they become silver and if you align three silver they become gold three gold diamond and then you can feed these to your monsters who are on opposing sides to unlock special point powers like a plus two multiplier that like stabilizes your tower

or a just a plus 10 multiplier or anything like that uh i don't think there's a hypno beam that's a problem with the game yeah the problem with the original game is that sounds like really complex and it was really hard to understand how to build these combos. And there are so many different multipliers, and it's tough to know when to use what. The great thing about Super Monsters Ate My Combo, the Super Edition, is there's actually kind of a level structure a la Jetpack Joyride, where it gives you goals.

So you're learning how to play the game by accomplishing these tiny tiny goals that get tougher and tougher and by the end you actually have an idea to play what is really complex i think puzzle game i think it's much more complex than say something like tetris uh and it's really fun and really rewarding uh you know as a subway game and it looks great when i say subway i mean on the subway not eating a subway sandwich not eating a subway game and it looks great when i say subway i mean uh at the on the subway not eating a subway sandwich not eating a subway sandwich though you could you only need one hand to play it yeah i don't know about a foot long would be tough with just one hand yeah it is come on give me more uh you know penis sandwich yeah okay go on yeah maybe one more try

dick sandwich you ain't got anything okay okay um i you know like adult swim i just wish every app developer they just came up with good ideas and then they took it through the adult swim factory and they pushed it through that and then that game came out on the app store because they're so much more polished than everything else and the art is funnier it just it feels fresher even though they're doing a lot of the same things as you know companies like ng moco the games just feel good um so i think i i think that's a good idea you you have my blessing to do that uh internet world and developers is to give their games to comedy central no to adult swim nobody's gonna do even

though what i don't understand what you're saying you want people to give their hard-earned work no i want them to work in tandem i want them to come up with good ideas the only problem is the publishing structure for adult swim they get a lot of money when uh a development team partners with them uh i mean they get advertisement during adult swim which is great but that's it's i don't fully understand the idea of publishing uh not self-publishing on the app store like not getting 100 in the cash uh i guess i understand now because you can't browse games on the app store anymore but we're way off topic get off that soapbox plant is the game fun yeah so basically plan is saying uh indie developers listen up join a multinational corporation

and use their uh powers and so they uh bleed you dry why don't you make some real games you nerds yeah really where's your city building free to play is that is that an adult swim thing i don't think they have one they should so they can make fat cash fat dollars fat stacks are we done talking about this game god yeah i mean it's simple it's not gonna win this week it's very fun it might win this week this week you should download it if you don't want to download that you can win the other the other adult swim game i think it's called major mayhem that is pretty is it spelled ham like the pork or is that just your accent talking no i wish it was me i think i brought major mayhem one week what was that pig game i brought in oh god yeah it was bad um yeah download it that's it have you guys ever gotten an mri no but i've seen a lot of house

episodes so i pretty much have okay uh metal in my face so if i get an mri i turn into wolverine and it pulls out of my skin uh that's horrifying i'll tell you uh they they ask you if you got tattoos because apparently used to be a thing that they would use metal shavings to make the black seem shinier. Yeah, for sailors. Yeah, so that makes for an unpleasant afternoon. What if the sailors have VD as well?

That has no bearing on the MRI. Listen to the things you say sometimes. Please just, all I ask is you think about them before you let them out of mouth prison. It's not like VD is like nanomachines that go into your blood and up future vd is you just i know they're gonna spread me well yeah vm is also uh forget that russ doesn't know what the basic elements are he's like plastic sure that's a problem um i i uh but anyway i had i had an mri yesterday i got a hearing thing that i'm trying to figure out and um it is as though it was designed to be the most unpleasant experience

uh that you could possibly have if you have not had one you put on scrubs that's not great and then i love that show that felt pretty comfy yeah i wish you could watch scrubs that's not great and then i love that show that felt pretty comfy yeah i wish you could watch scrubs it didn't work that was the opening in the back of the front uh they're in a picture so there's i don't think i don't think doctors are walking around with their dick hanging so you uh so you lie down on a tray or they're gonna slide you into this person oven you lie down on a tray and then they're like are you into this person oven you lie down on a tray and then they're like are you comfortable and i'm thinking yeah not so bad and then they lower this like face mask over your head so you can't move your head you're like oh man it's starting to get

a little cramped here and then they jam foam on either side of your head in the face mask so you can't move your head and uh then they slide you into a tube where you lie there for 25 minutes as the machine makes sounds that sound like a skrillex concert it no exaggeration is so loud they have to give you uh earplugs so your hearing is not damaged by the sound of magnets bombarding you with with magnet rays um the good news about this is why you're and and you can't move your arms because it's like this little tube so i'm completely claustrophobic it's like being in a coffin that's a nightmare but at least i could think about that for the 25 minutes i'm in there i had i could reflect on the fact that after I got out, I got to get an injection

of dye and then go back in for 15 more. And that dye, let me tell you guys, that dye feels great in your blood. Oh boy. When you get that dye in your blood, you know how sometimes your blood just feels really, really good? This is one of those times.

Is it like when you get an anesthetic and your entire body feels heavy? Do you actually feel different from the dye? You can definitely feel everything. You can feel it. It's not the same temperature as your blood. No, it's a different temperature, which is great. It's a different whack temperature that you don't like.

So it's like you went to DQ, but poured it into your entire body. Exactly. It's like the hot and cold. Imagine a new kind of temperature called cold and it's both of them and it's your blood now. It's also German. Now it's your blood.

I had to have them slide me out when they first put me in because I could not, I was not spiritually prepared for how narrow it was. You called your Sherpa and you said Sherpa help me he's like is your blood already cold and you were like yes he's like you're halfway there brother I literally shouted oh nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope they had to slide me back out why can't they just like knock you out that you've just all those things that you've described so far sound like things that you love. Yeah. Yeah.

Getting injections, being in a tunnel, being in a coffin. Sometimes you fool yourself into thinking that, man, 2012, everything is on the edge. They had to put me in a tube for 40 minutes to take a scan of my head. On Star Trek, that's literally like wave the tricorder. It's like one of those cameras that you have to sit still for a minute and a half for it to take a scan of my head on star trek that's literally like wave the tricorder you know it's like one of those cameras that you have to sit still for like a minute and a half for to take

a picture yeah you should have just gone to the airport photography yeah they have they have those at the airport you just stand up and they scan you and you leave takes two minutes it's good just look in my eyes and ask and tell me if it looks like i have brain cancer do i look like someone with cancer i'm telling you it really you could have learned portuguese really fast uh you could have fallen in love with whatever that actress was in phenomenon you could spin sunglasses with your mind yep yeah you make friends with kevin spacey is he in that movie i don't remember no you're thinking no oh yeah can we go a f***ing episode without talking about kpax no we can't i want another quick vignette before we move on i'd want to share with you guys i went to the vet

today um and i there have to be normal people who have animals that need medical care but they are some for some reason never there at the same time I am. Did you go during the day? It's always like one. There you go. Yeah. It's always like one giant fat guy in an alleged Zelda t-shirt with a poodle. And a lady and her eight dogs that are just climbing over her like some sort of plague. But when I was in there today, there was a woman waiting with her two cocker spaniels

and this very odd woman came in behind me while I was purchasing some medicine for my cat and this woman gasps upon seeing these dogs. She said, oh my, look at those cockers.

So I'm like, uh oh, uh-oh uh-oh gotta keep it together she's like those are some people i know how cockers are it's okay if they bark i know how they are you know i got two how how old are these cockers she says no i you're not you know i got two cockers at home and i'm thinking about getting a third i'm her voice is like this perhaps even more so she sounds like peter lorry if peter lorry was a ghost and it is a nightmare um but yeah she went on to say cockers like seven or eight more times and i'm just willing the woman to hurry up and check me out faster so I could please go, because I cannot handle this woman. That is one of those words that only becomes funny when a certain dialect is spun into it,

like when it becomes part of the weave of the word. If I say cockers right now. I don't know. That's pretty good. Well, I'm also of Appalachian descent. Cockers? Like that? Is that how we talk? No'm just hello i'm from the appalachian

region yeah clean coal pretty much what i hear okay well you might want to get your own mri done uh we have one more game to talk about and it's from monsieur uh russ hi uh russ what is the thing okay so you guys have not played this game at all ever but i'm gonna spread the love and let you know about this game uh it's called super crate box no we already brought that game what no we didn't yeah i mean no no no the first time it came out it was before we even started doing this podcast so that's you hear that that was the besties please come and hear me so i uh i'm bringing super crate box for the playstation vita um and i know you guys might scoff at the fact that i'm bringing a game that came out essentially a year ago but it is really really good to play super crate box with an actual

controller like i don't think i realized how different and more satisfying the game would be with like buttons but you definitely didn't because it was on iphone you're like oh this is the the end of buttons what with the power of a swipe we won't need buttons anymore is that what i sound like have you played super crayon oh you're still using buttons i'm from appalachia with a simple swipe tap tap i killed all the bad guys yeah that's pretty much it uh i would say so it's like three dollars and fifty cents through so you go to the PlayStation Store and you go to PlayStation Mobile, which just launched this week. Is that really all it costs? What?

Is that really all it costs? It costs $3.50, yeah. I've seen so many tweets where people are like, it costs like four times as much as it does on iPhone. I mean, technically it does, but. No, on iPhone, it's still, it does but no on iphone it's still it's two dollars oh it's 350 so i know it's people are ridiculous uh it is a little bit of a disappointment that like and this isn't their fault because uh though sony hasn't allowed um for leaderboard and trophy support yet on uh playstation mobile games but it is a little bit

of a bummer to not be able to compare your high score with friends on your list i can compare with you right now right now i have uh 260 i don't remember how i think i have 270 oh shut your yeah i beat you it was really good i got wait guys i have 310 i there's no way that anybody... Oh, I'm sorry. I meant the hardest mode in the hardest level. Oh, on that one, I have 450. Shit, how did you do that? I have 1700.

Anyway, it's really, really good. And there's actually a few PlayStation mobile games on there. There's probably like 15 or so. I haven't played really any of them apart from super crate box but they're getting uh some good user ratings and it's kind of encouraging because people that own vidas right now haven't really had any like a ton of games to play over the past you know few months so it's kind of nice to have this hopefully um continuing log of uh mobile games coming to the platform it is it is exciting it's a great

it didn't click with me like the idea of what they were doing with it until i picked up super crate box and then the thought of like i don't have an android phone but if they if i had the option to take the ios games that i've already bought and and then put them on a console also that um has buttons on it maybe that seems really roundabout like why not just have the games on console buttons anyway but you know that's not always an option yep no i i mean that sounds great to be able to own a game on multiple platforms you know mobile and home well yeah technically you can't form the dream i mean not the dream not just multiple platforms but like incongruous platforms yeah uh yeah super great box playstation vita it's a game on the playstation

vita there aren't very many of them so you might as well jump out and um take advantage of this one it's quite fun uh that's really all the effort that i'm going to put into this game because people know pretty much what super crate box is about i think why did we talk about what the game is at all so just so people know okay fine you're a little green guy and you collect you're in a static screen and enemies come down at you and you shoot them or slash them depending on what weapon you grab yeah you want to keep bouncing around the screen weapons. It's like that mini game that was in Super Mario Bros. 3. No, you mean the original Super Mario Bros. Yeah, well, the original Mario Bros., but most people don't know that.

Yeah, it's a really, really fun mobile game that you can play with a controller on the Vita. And I'm really hoping, I mean, there are a ton of iOS games that I would love to play with a controller, so I'm hoping that more people sort of follow suit um and bring stuff to PlayStation mobile because it is um excellent I think there's also potential for games to get better when people stop designing them only to work around touch touchscreen controls does that make sense like I feel like some people just

take the path of least resistance when developing mobile games because they're like ah f**k it it's not gonna have buttons so let's make it you know we don't want it to be imprecise so let's make it dumbed down yeah i think it goes both ways i think having a limitation light touch has led to some pretty clever gameplay like ideas like like a game like um infinity blade hadn't really existed before that so it you know it was touch that sort of inspired them to do it in that style i'm saying there are three different types of games games that that embrace that limitation and you do awesome stuff with it and then there are games that have to use that limitation because they have no other option and then there are games that have to use that limitation because they have no other option because the the type of game they're trying to

make wouldn't work with those controls but then there's a third type of game that just use those limitations and sort of exploit them when they they and just make like a super super simple game that doesn't need to be as simple as it is and i think a lot of the crappier games on android and ios uh fall into that that category and i i would say that having a cross development or a cross-platform development option where you can have you know controls in addition to virtual controls will see see that that third category diminished when when the iphone first came out and jobs talked about this it was there couldn't be controls because people would not be motivated to use the touchscreen. And I think that is smart.

I think that was right at that time. But I think so many successful games exist with a touchscreen, and people have an idea of how to use it now that they can coexist on one device. That's what I don't exist. You don't think so? You think the second? No, I just think one device that you're carrying around all day with you is not. There's a reason why it's just touch.

It's because it's easy to carry around with you. It's small, and it's for everything else you're using that's not games related. You don't need a controller. I'm not saying it has to have a controller on it. I'm just saying that controller support. Apple goes out of their way to not a controller on it i'm just saying that controller support apple goes out of their way to not allow controller support on that that's well but it's starting to become untrue because now we have uh game loft and duo just partnered to put a controller out yeah but

they steal using your bluetooth they there needs all it needs the option to plug something into the port what why what's wrong with bluetooth it doesn't it there's a lag when you're using bluetooth it is not as precise as actually using something that plugs into the let me let me hit you guys with this what if there was a cell phone that had buttons on it for games for video gaming and it was also a cell phone and you had to talk into the side of it okay i'm liking that idea can we get it shaped like a taco? It could be taco-shaped, sure. I don't see why not.

In fact, I'm going to bring you on as the chief member of our design board, Russ. Awesome. Our taco design board. Talking into the side of it, though, is imperative because I feel like that feature is going to be very engaging. Wait a minute. What if we worked somehow how engaging this side talk taco game

you wanna i can wait i got the name justin you are now our president and branding go chris plant you went on this money train too or are you just talking about maybe like a game where we just like talk with our friends we'll call it talk with friends okay oh my, everyone on board. Whoop, whoop. The money train is pulling into Big Cheese Station, guys. I just had another idea. A game, portable game console, roughly the size of a Game Gear with a black and white touchscreen that internets. And we'll call it Internet, Game, www.gameconsole. No, it's in there somewhere.

I want to suggest game.com, but I want to make sure that we don't get the game.comsole. No. It's in there somewhere. I want to suggest game.com, but I want to make sure that we don't get the game.com URL. Okay. That's essential. Do you think people are going to be upset when this is what polygon.com actually is? If we bust out, if we go live with game.com.org,

is that going to hurt our bottom line, rush for a stick, internet czar? Yeah, I don't think that's the best way to uh invest i think sticking with the taco design and then maybe evolving it next year into more of a taquito what if you could strap this bitch to your head you got one eyepiece and it's all red up there and you can't make phone calls or internet on it it takes it to it takes gaming to a new zone i want to have to lay down the eye patch or is it just black felt it's well it's the the uh the band itself is going to be the cheapest felt that we

can find okay and uh we got to make you look kind of like uh uh i don't know like a cyborg from like a shitty 80s movie so it's do you it's a game system. I think people should play on a desk, though. I don't think people should be able to play wherever they want. No, you have to sit. You're strapped to a desk, and the screen on your eye shield is actually just a broken Nokia screen with a little Mario painted onto it. We're going to good places right now. I was going to R-Zone, actually. I don't know where you guys were.

Oh, really? I was going Virtual Boy, but whatever. I had forgotten the R-Zone existed had one oof they should have called the noogie noogie magnet i i had one you see somebody wearing that you're gonna punch me i had a primal rage on it and i think a racing game but mostly i just played primal rage uh it was a tiger handheld that you strapped to your face. Yeah. Take it to the limit. And you know what?

They used to call the place where you'd buy video games. Toys R Us and R-Zone. It was very confusing. They did not carry the R-Zone, though, for obvious reasons. Yeah. Yeah. So this is not going to be easy to pick a winner. Let's get 30 more seconds from each of you about why your game deserves the honor.

I'll go first. Yeah, thanks. It's Super Crate Box with buttons. Got it. Chris Plant. It's Monsters Ate My Combo with a learning tutorial. Wait, isn't it Kondo? I can't say it.

Monsters Ate My Kondo. Kondo. It's lots of combos. Dummy. Monsters Ate condo. Condo. Lots of combos. Dummy. Monsters ate my combo. They were pretzel and peanut butter. That's the excuse I used my mom to get her to buy me more. Hippos ate my Fritos. Mom!

That's not fair! I didn't get to eat these. I didn't eat them. I don't know how the crows got there. The monsters left crumbs everywhere but this time the monsters said next time they wanted pepperoni and pretzel um my game crumble monsters black and white 2 uh it's uh the longest of all the games that that everyone brought here just in terms of the title uh and the length of all the games that everyone brought here. Just in terms of the title?

And the length of the game. I put 40 hours into it for the review. Solely because of the work that Griffin had to invest to bring this game to us, I am choosing Pokemon as this week's winner. There will be no discussion about whether or not it's better than FTL can I use the clout that I've earned from this win to bring LittleBigPlanet back from the dead from last week

you wanted to run into the ring WWE style there was rioting in the streets outside of my house after the last episode went on people were people were confused and and scared and i don't blame them we gotta change a change is is the winds of change

are blowing like bob dylan said no here it comes to change everyone get ready like bob dylan once said in his famous song changes changes changes changes piano man changes piano man um thank you for listening to the besties again big changes coming on the horizon stay tuned for all of that news and scoops next week so no I'm bringing so everybody I called it already. Also, Plant will be replaced by Bo Bridges. And I will be replaced by the fabulous Baker Boys.

If you want to read our stuff, you can go to theverge.com forward slash gaming for now, but soon it's going to be polygon.com. This is a Polygon production. Please subscribe on for now, but soon it's going to be Polygon.com. This is a Polygon production. And, um, please subscribe on Toons and rate us there.

Give us a review. And, uh, that's going to do it for us on the besties. If you have suggestions Suggesties? If you have suggesties to make it better, I would love to hear them. Because we have changed the show drastically, I would say twice, based entirely on user suggestions.

Here's a question. If you could see one of our special guests who have visited us in the past, in real life, who would it be? It's got to be Jean-Pierre. Although we've seen, not Jean not Jean-Baptiste sorry we've seen him before did you? um or was it Jean-Baptiste's brother

pretending oh my god the plot was that Don-Baptiste? Don-Baptiste is actually an impersonator of an impersonator yeah I'm Ron-Baptiste Ron Baptiste is actually an impersonator of an impersonator. Yeah, I'm Ron Baptiste. Be sure to join us again next week for the besties.

Because shouldn't the world's best friends play the world's... Because shouldn't the world's best friends pick the world's best games!