The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 100

Episode Date: August 5, 2023

Voice Actors Recording at Home, Non-Drivers, Gamers, The Production Quality of Amateur Porn

You got a problem, Sean? No. You got to think of a problem. All right. I don't know. I didn't even cross my mind. I don't know why either. I was like, I'll just come in and hang out, you know?

I don't know what you could do to remind you to do it. You could have said something. I did. I said. Don't forget to bring a problem. I said, what, do you have a problem? I'll try to think of something. Yeah, I'll text you if I think of something.

It's like at like 4 o'clock Well you'd think that it would be Kind of obvious to me that He probably would want a problem Yeah Okay loading Loading loading Let it do the 100th episode thing real quick

Sorry So sorry for screwing up All the time Let's do the 100th episode thing real quick. Sorry. There you go. So sorry for screwing up all the time. Sorry that I was gone and forgot how to do everything, and I'm so stupid. As long as the audio's going out, I'm happy. The audio's going out right now. Are we sure? Are we sure? I could fuck this up from here.

I'm pretty sure. Look. See? It's bouncing. Oh, look at that. All right. Good. Now we have to wait, because I've screwed up the audio so much when we have guests on

That we have to wait until the audio starts going so there's this weird limbo or Vito's not paying attention because he's just Terrified because you screwed up the audio every episode so I have to look at the chat obsessive ice I've messed it up, and it happened to be when well actually I fucked my spurs in the audio once That's what happened even streaming. You only got a fuck up once and you're that asshole forever So now Riley calls me. Yeah. Yeah, thank God He's the only one. To make sure that the is my camera focused this time last time my camera wasn't focused Wait a minute. I almost forgot you got a way in today. Yeah, oh you want to do it now or at the end? Oh wow this is a big day Sean. I'm I shouldn't be drinking this cranberry deliciousness

No, that's that's pounds right there I don't know if you're gonna miss the weigh-in by like point one and you're gonna cry about the problem If anyone is listening and they could bring that scale down for the end of the show, please do so Should we start the show? Do you want some chips or something no stop it no snacks you want some peanut brickle i have a diet peanut brickle do i get to purge before the weigh-in can you yeah i'll blow up you'll probably pick up a snack on the way back from purging got to replenish to get down the stairs. I'm waiting for a scale.

I don't know how I'm doing. Do you think you're going to make it? There was a part of the moment. None of us knows how we're doing. Well, I've been doing some cardio. You know, I've been... See now, Sean, in your mind, what do you imagine when Vito says cardio? What?

I mean, he could be like, you know, I don't know, going for long walks. Long walks. Yeah, that's a good idea. You know, when you say walk, what do you mean? I mean, you know, like to the fridge. Yeah, okay. I got a little exercise bike. I've been using that.

An exercise bike? Yeah. Yeah. So you've been taking it pretty seriously. Don't run. Not super seriously. Are you able to do that with your feet pointing the wrong way or whatever you were saying? What?

Happens? They don't point the wrong way. Vito says he can't exercise because his feet are like inside out or something. I said sometimes I can't. Well, I have trouble. I think I just kicked a box or something if you're looking for the source Sean look at this fucking thing put your feet where they're supposed to be always encroaching always on my side So I have to sit with my feet up here

so I don't get footsie'd with a very large feet and I have supination problems is when somebody told me it's called. Oh, it's when things are like not flat. Shoes just lean. The shoes are leaning. The shoes are leaning. The shoes are leaning. Apparently you can go to like, I don't know who, am I supposed to go to an orthopedic person or can you just, somebody was telling me you can just go to a regular shoe store

type thing and they can like figure it out. They could get you some. I feel like insoles that like align shit better. Yeah, but I don't know how you figure out which insoles you do. There it is. There's the scale to an expert an expert a uh but do i have to talk to a doctor like a foot guy i can talk to look you can probably they probably have this shit online that will like i don't know which one to get i feel like the audience should tell me because and then they're gonna fuck it up and it's gonna be even worse send him some clown shoes or

something i'm done helping Orthopedic clown shoes. All right, should we start the show now that we've got everything? I forgot how to do this. Jack is back from his big vacation. We've got an old favorite guest on the show today. The biggest problem in the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! The only show that ranks every problem in the universe,

from securities regulators to McDonald's fish sandwich haters. Is that good? 100th episode! I'm your host Dick Masherson, joining me as always is... Get those super chats in, you cucks! Vito Gisualdi, and joining us is a very special guest. You're an audio engineer, I guess, and a touring comedian, too. Some sort of guy.

Sean, the audio engineer. You know I'm going to delete this, right? Sean, who did not have a problem when he came in, even though he's been aware of this show. Didn't even think of it. Didn't even think about it. He's the third person on the planet who is aware of this show's premise. He has been on more episodes than. He's the fourth most appeared person, wouldn't it be?

You, that other motherfucker. No, Sean's been on more episodes than you. Sean's probably been on more episodes than me. How many did we do? Sean's been on more episodes of you Sean's probably been on more episodes than me How many did we do? Sean's been on more episodes of The Biggest Problem than me The oldest standing co-host of The Biggest Problem in the universe Yeah, the oldest host of the show More than Matt, more than me

Well, at this point, you have an extra hundred episodes on him now But the previous version, yes Oh, yeah, you're right Okay, yeah, sorry This is so weird to me Matt is so off You have an extra hundred episodes on him now, but the previous version. Yes. Oh yeah. You're right. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. This is so weird to me.

Math is so off. I like the intros new. Like I didn't, I, I'm kind of freaking out because I'm like, I had no idea what the theme song was. Cause I've never, you know, cause, cause I'm, cause I'm a dirt bag and I haven't listened to the show once. Why would you? Out of curiosity.

You think like as a, as a friend, Out of curiosity, you think like as a friend, I would like, you know, I'd tune in for a minute. for 12 years. I don't expect... I'm shocked that my girlfriend still listens to it.

I'm shocked that anybody listens to it. Anytime somebody tells me, oh, I listen to your podcast every week, I'm like, why? Why? What's wrong with you?

Don't worry, you'll stop. One of these days, I'll say something about you and you'll stop listening. That's cool. I think it's... I can't something about you and you'll stop listening. That's cool. I can't believe it's been this many episodes already. It's crazy. It's great the show is doing so well because I know it's doing well.

Yeah. It's nailing it. It's not doing as well as Carl's show, though, because I don't think our fans love us as much as they love Carl. I don't think our fans love us as much as they love Carl. We need to. Carl buys viewers, too. Yeah, Carl.

We know that. Carl is predatory With his stuff Like he paywalled His Stuttering John interview And Vito and I Give it away Yeah Carl like kind of

He's got paypigs He grooms his audience Yeah like paypigs Like Andrew Tate Like that kind of mentality Oh he's hiding Like Disneyland Behind a paywall

Exactly He's like Disneyland Exactly We're just like your pal right you know right I think we're catching up

but Carl's been going longer than this iteration of the show right yeah WATP like four years old we're gonna catch him although we do need more stuttering Johns

of our own that's that's where what do you mean we got Eric July we got one he's on this show too obviously

we started on he's more on this show yeah i figured with the yeah he false flagged uh riley just before the show started really yeah he dmca'd or something riley riley has his own brand of a what do you call it parody rip averse merch which features two hair clippers because his goal in life is to get so fit that he's going to sneak up on eric july and shave his hairy shoulders that is riley's goal in life yeah i've been tracking his progress uh is there a scale involved uh no just every every day he posts a video of him walking up a hill and talking shit about Eric July and his hairy shoulders. Yeah, doesn't that sound cool?

One of the greatest comedy bits in the history. And he decided to put up like stupid little merch, like you can buy Clipaverse. Clearly no one was buying this. Like how many Clipaverse t-shirts was Riley really selling? Yeah. But Eric July decided that it was an illegal use of his official trademark. And he's made it worse.

Yeah, and he's made it worse. They don't learn. This is what Riley is. This is what his parody logo is. Is that fucking Riley? That's Riley. Yeah, he's so masculine, right? When we met him, he was a child. Now he's a full-grown man. Beefcake. He's getting ready to pull up.

Look at this. Eric July's employee, Alex Miller, Alex James Miller, has flagged down my Clipperverse logo. Oh, my God. No. From my shop store. Okay. Okay. Sure.

okay okay sure you think you can fucking flag my parody logo design to my website and get away

with it Alex look at the guns and he's got the little pole behind him I'm gonna teach you and Eric a little thing

about fair use okay oh my god he's like Cartman doing Macho Man I'm going to teach you and Eric a little thing about Fair use Okay Oh my god He's like Cartman doing Macho Man The Clip-a-verse is real folks Um Yeah so this whole week we've been told that False flagging is really bad

Unless Eric Jeline does it And then he's protecting his comic He's protecting his comic and it's based So people posted images of his comic going, oh, well, this comic's kind of a piece of shit. And rather than ignoring them as a normal comic company would do, his employees have been striking the images claiming they were stolen from a pirate.

Which is like a cardinal sin on the internet. I thought it was. Vito got shit from that entire right wing, like, retard sector. And I didn't even actually issue any DMCA of any sort. Yes, you did. But I didn't get anything taken down. This is clearly worse. It's worse, yeah.

It's absolutely worse. Yeah, so Eric July did it, and none of them care. Yeah, well, sure. Well, you know, he had to do that. Oh, yeah, of course. That's our guy. Of course. And he's black, too. I mean, he's very important He had to do that Oh yeah of course That's our guy Of course And he's black too

I mean he's very important on our side Oh yeah I understand Yeah I told Dick before the show That I'm like He's one of the good ones I'm nuts

Cause everybody for the longest time Was like Vito is a flagger And he's the worst guy ever And I'm like I was making a little joke on Twitter It got out of hand I shouldn't have done it I get it

Well you did it to Make them afraid Yeah well like To make them afraid. Yeah, to make them a little cringe. Terrorism. It's not terrorism. It was fucking around. I didn't think anything would happen, and nothing did happen. Eric legitimately took people's posts down. He abused

the DMCA system. It is above the Cardinals. He's Hitler. That's what Matt Jarboe did, and everybody was so mad about it. Yes, exactly. It's a million times worse than anything I ever did. And everyone goes, yeah, but Eric's like, you know, trying to protect his brand, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate all these fucking people and I want them to die.

They're liars. They're liars and crooks. They will die. Don't worry. Yeah, I know. Okay. Should we do the last? The problems?

Yes. Can you bump that channel up? The Discord channel? The SEC won. Yeah, obviously. I would think that would- Low ball pro is easy. Easy money.

You bring that in? Yeah. You should do one then, if you so. Instead of just doing food stuff. The, ooh, the government is bad problems to the great Dick Masters. Did you guys know that- Where would you be without the SEC, Vito? Not being able

To talk to animals That was the That's a good problem Yeah We were upstairs Playing with dogs Imagine if we had Been able to talk to them

Yeah Would have been A much more exciting I don't want to know What my parents dog Has to say Probably please shoot me I'm fucking old as fuck

I want to know What that old dog Is thinking There's an old dog upstairs. No, I don't want to hear that. All that old dog wisdom is contained in there. I don't want my dog telling my parents what's happening here. Yeah, well.

Vice versa. Dogs sharing your secrets is a problem. Filet-O-Fish disrespectors. What do you think about those guys, Sean? What do you think about the Filet-O-Fish? I don't ever remember having a Filet-O-Fish, ever. Wow. Buddy, it's your lucky day

Ever I think you're one of the disrespectors Really? The disrespectors have probably poisoned your mind to believe Do you have any kind of biases towards the Filet-O-Fish? I'm just not a big fan of like fish sandwiches Yeah Yeah, it's a

Lucky for you, this is mostly tartar sauce That's not true I like tartar sauce I do like tartar sauce See, I used to eat a lot of fish sticks as a kid I imagine it's about the same thing. Yeah, it's about a fish stick. It's a little nicer than a fish stick, I think.

And then lastly was too many Hitler movies. That was you. That was mine. Yeah. Well, you know. All the veto files. The Academy likes the hits played, you know what I mean? See, Sean is interpreting your problem the way that normal people would interpret it.

Dick had some insane idea about Nick Fuentes and whatever else. Good problem, regardless. Okay, NotSmoke said, Kids being out of school is a solution if you live near a college campus. He's talking about our bonus episode that you can get on Patreon.com. Biggest problem in summer, yeah. Biggest problem. Patreon.com slash

biggest problem uh denis said i had my first filet of fish this week it was good please don't bring in gay sex disrespecters next week oh because then he might have to try it i get it john said the sound of freedom fan call in almost had me wreck my car from laughing so hard it looks like a very trafficable child to me. John, while Vito is obviously a pet-o, Dick manages to be both that and a home-o for homeowner.

Pet-o? Have you explained this to Sean? Because you're tickled pink by this bowl. I know about pet-o. We talked about this. This came up on the show and Dick couldo. Yeah. We talked about this. Look, look. Here's a whole... This came up on the show and Dick could not stop laughing.

The funniest thing ever. Fucking amazing. This should be our first shirt. It's how you described it. No, we're not making a shirt out of this. Why not? Look.

Although they did fuck up my... I think I said that the... It should be a guy and a kid and leave the pet to the imagination. No. Because it could be any kind of pet. Oh, I said that on our show.

It's true because you don't want to alienate. I mean, there's a lot of people who aren't dog people. I don't want to make you pick Garfield or Marmaduke. I want you to just know that this is about adults and probably a kid because you're probably homo as well. Homo. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Homo slash pedo community.

This is one of those ideas which, like, it's funny. I get it. Like, we should not execute. And Noel's like, oh, I can't believe I'm in this war. Nobody I know. Unfortunately, we live in an era where we're not allowed to have fun and make those jokes because Sound of Freedom came out and everyone now believes that and then one of those guys is being kidnapped at every point in time one of those guys funders is uh turned out to be a child kidnapper isn't that always a bitch

when that happens it's always like it's always like the guy who's like pray the gay away blah blah gets caught restart Restart it. See, it always fucking does that. Yeah. I did restart it. You did restart it? Yeah. Then it's got to be that thing.

Fucking thing. Okay. He's about to say something hilarious, too. Yeah, what were you going to say? I was going to say, it's always the guy. It's always the guy who is pray the gay away, runs those fucking re-education camps, whatever, gets caught sucking dick in an airport bathroom. Every time.

Airport bathroom. Yeah. It's usually down an airport bathroom. Every time. Airport bathroom. Yeah. It's usually down at the park. That's not very romantic. Well, no. Suck a dick. I mean, they're ashamed of it. You're in between flights.

Like, man, I really need to suck a dick right now. You know, they got to get it while they can. A lot of airports. Yeah. A lot of fun. Amsterdam's got a great airport for sucking dick. I would imagine. Anyway, well, we're not going to make a pet-o shirt. Yeah A lot of fun Amsterdam's got a great airport For second dick I would imagine Um Anyway

Well we're not gonna make a pet-o Shirt Disappoint I'll make it then Maybe I'm going for you I don't know I mean I get It is funny

I'm like on the edge Look at The best part is that The dog is winking That's so fucking funny to me They made a flag out of it too Like one of those trans flags Yeah I saw that

It's one of those things where like It would be great if everyone would Admit to getting it but there's those people Who will refuse to admit to getting it I just don't get what the joke is No you get what the joke is Who cares about those people They're retarded

They cause so much trouble Eric M. says, Vito, you have more energy because you're exercising more. Your body is telling itself that you need more energy because you have a higher average energy expenditure.

So it produces more energy for you to use. This is why we love working out. It makes you feel better the next day and the day after. And you feel like you have the energy to get

through the day. If I get one more fucking fitness lecture from people with like these basic like See, it's all about calories in calories out. I can literally, I can go to my Twitter right now and go to my DMs and there's like a hundred unanswered like. The mitochondria is the powerhouse

of the soul. How about seed oils is that they leach into the. Now when you're out and you're walking you're going to want to track your calories. Alright. Guys there's only a thousand of you who's fucking advice. Hey you know what? I can integrate into my life. You should use smaller

plates. Oh that's a good one. That's a good one. I'm happy. I'm on my I'm playing Diablo on my exercise bike. Perfect little game. Just dick around. Wow. You got like 700 bucks on the line now at VitoLoses.com.

I know. Fuck. I hope. I hope I make weight. I don't know. It's going to be interesting. Tassel says, why does Vito want- I have to cancel the fight.

I have to do it at a catch weight. Why does Vito want the Pokemon guy to call him father or dad? Did you want somebody to call you father or dad on a Pokemon show? I don't know. A Pokemon guy called in. I don't remember exactly what we talked about. Priest with kids. I think we discussed our parasocial relationship that he thinks of me as a father figure.

Oh, really? And I told my son to stop stealing Pokemon cards from the Target or whatever he does. Oh, I see. Robocop says, Dick and Vito have become the boogeymen of comics and outrage culture. I love it. Every time somebody makes a take they don't agree with, you got at least three people saying it's Dick and Vito's fault, even if they're not mentioned. Dude, it's actually true.

It's really weird. It's weird to hold a mirror up to everyone. Yeah. Anytime somebody says, well, I didn't really like ISOM, the immediate reply is, you must be a fan of Dick and Vito. I'm like, oh, man. Wow. Are we really, like, the only ones?

This is crazy. You know what I realized? Now that ISOM 2 is out, it's out. I haven't seen it yet. I was going to ask about that. As soon as someone pirates it and sends it to me, I'll illegally give it to everybody. Oh, no. Because everyone should pirate I saw him

and everything Eric July makes because it's all trash and shit and he doesn't deserve to make any money. You should steal bad art. Bad art is a crime and you should punish it by stealing it. And if Eric July was an anarcho-capitalist like he claims, he would agree.

Intellectual property is a crime against creativity and mankind and should be abolished. Pirate everything except this. Give us money. Pirate our show but give us money at Patreon because you agree with my stance on pirating.

Please don't. Please don't pirate. Here comes a lawsuit. They're already so mad at me. So now. Every time I go on Twitter, I get a million fucking guys going, you're just trying to destroy

a strong, popular black man. Of what? Of our show? No, of Ice On. How much is a good comic? Yeah, each one. $35. But the average customer is so

whipped, dick whipped, that they buy, that they spend $120 a piece. What? They'll get like a hat. Average customer, $120. Well, they'll get multiple copies of the same comic, like, so they can wonder. Keep one pristine. Yeah, exactly. It's like the 90s speculator thing where you'd buy a bunch of chrome, hollow foil garbage

and hope it was going to go up in value. So now all of the influencers and like OnlyFans whores are all pretending to like I Saw Him 2. Now that it's hit, I forgot this part of how fun it would be. Right. Now they're like all like, oh, yeah, I loved it. Oh, can't wait to read more. Right, because they know

how dumb all of Eric's customers are. Well, they want Eric's customers for themselves. They want the money for themselves. You understand. Maybe the second one will be better. Yeah, maybe. Let's see. Let's review it. Redfield says, why do you keep talking about Isom?

You're so jealous of his success. The comic is all right it's okay it's just starting for christ's sake all of you in this chat making fun of someone that has two successful campaigns it won't be like that all the time this just shows that people are ready for something different than what's currently out there All of you should be excited That more independent releases are coming Well, there you go I mean, I am excited that more independent comics are coming

Like the good ones, you know There's guys making cool stuff I don't understand this idea that it's like Well, it's something new And I'm like, in what way? There's always been shitty fucking superhero comics New doesn't imply better yeah or anything it's just new I just wish these guys okay just write what you really think go at least there's no gays in it you know that's all you want to say at least there's no fucking gay stuff in my comic

just say that I know that's all you care about They're freaking out about Splinter being gay We were talking about that No he's not There's a big conspiracy theory that the new TMNT movie That Splinter's gay Because he hooks up with a cockroach And they constantly refer to the cockroach as she

And her Yeah but there was like one poster that they put out Does the cockroach wink every time it's addressed as that? Like, yeah. No, there was like one poster where the cockroach had accidentally said like, this cockroach is, you know, scumbag appearing as himself. And apparently the producer of the movie is like, no, it's a lady cockroach. You guys fucked up the poster.

But it's named a cockroach. So it's like, that's the thing. Well, they're now convinced that at the last minute nickelodeon changed the film because they thought everybody would be pissed if splinter was gay yeah in which case they changed the film so he's not gay so there's nothing to worry about uh is that just speculation or is there like from inside where it's like hey it was it was going to be there was a poster said himself on it, like some marketing thing that happened to go out. But the director said, no, that's a mistake. We saw it at the time, but it's still going on.

And Jackie Chan would never do a gay character. No. He would be lynched. He just owned his fucking gay daughter. The idea that he's voicing a gay character is retarded. Yeah. Well, it would have to be Unbeknownst to him

His English is non-existent Still after all these years If they tried to sneak it up on him He'd be like pull out of the movie He'd get fucking lynched in China for that shit He couldn't do the Jackie Chan series They tried for a little bit And then they had to get James C to do it

Well he did like the bumpers, right? Yeah, actually voice actor care. No, I can't speak. Yeah, that's the You can't know you It's not just languages. It's not just as English. It's not just as English as bad. It's that he couldn't he couldn't read Yeah, no, I remember Jackie Chan adventures the Jackie Chan and the show is like Oh Jade We are going on a great adventure. And at the end, Jackie Chan himself would show up and you go, wow, cartoon is so good and powerful. And you're like, all right, well, that's, I understand why they got a different guy to do the voice. That was probably the greatest cartoon.

That was almost as good as DuckTales. The Jackie Chan Adventure cartoon was surprisingly good. Yeah, it was great. It was a good setup, him, and the old than the old man or whatever Okay, so that's do we have any bits for the hundredth show or is? No, I guess not Alright, the hundred the bit is we got shot. So I don't know if that's a bit it's prepared for today No, I didn't even think that you would you know, I wouldn't even think of a problem It didn't occur to me that it's the biggest problem. It's like, oh, yeah, I'll just come sit in.

Isn't it? But shouldn't the best 100th episode, look, this is a... Shouldn't it be the 104th episode? Well, first of all, the 108th episode is going to be the big live show blowout, okay? So that's going to be your big one. You're doing a live show? We're trying to, yeah. What do you think?

Does it make more sense for the big live show to be number 107 or number 108? Why? 107's weird. Well, 107 was the last episode of the CRU. So now you're fishing for more answers. I wouldn't even remember that. Okay, so knowing that the last show. I ask Dick every week, what episode are we on?

Knowing that the last show ended on episode 107, does it make more sense for the big live show to be episode 107, to match it, or episode 108? You gotta break it. That's what the audience says, you gotta break it. Yeah, I think so. I think you match it. Why?

Because then it's parallel. It's like, you know, history rhymes. What else works like that? Ties suck. Exactly. Fucking exactly what I said. All right, Sammy Sosa. All right, Mark McGuire.

Which one's which? Big home run race. Sammy Sosa's the black one. No, which one of us is fucking Sammy Sosa? Obviously, if it's a black one, it's you. Hmm. Okay. Well, they didn't tie.

Well, who? Mark McGuire won, right? Well, yeah, he hit 70 and Sosa hit 66, I think. I'm saying somebody's got to beat the other. Cheating their asses off. Yeah, well, they were goosed. They were juiced. All right, so is it my turn?

Well, you are the winner, Dick. I'm going to do non-drivers. Non-drivers. So we're in Greece for a week and a half or whatever, dying in the heat. You're gone for a while. Yeah, too long, about three or four days too long. We get back after traveling for 24 hours, and my girlfriend says, we got to go pick up Our dog

At your parents house Who's been watching the dog And they're like an hour 50 minutes away An hour away So I was like Ah Okay yeah

We're gonna have to land After flying for 24 hours And then go get this dog Yeah I guess Okay Jeez So we get back And she goes

Well wouldn't it be great If they could bring They could bring the dog to us And I said They'll never do They would never do that Never in fucking 10 million years. I agree with you that it would be nice Yeah, but they would never in fucking a million years do that she goes on that's too bad So we couldn't muster up the strength to drive up there. Have we landed so we went to sleep instead

Vito went on Nick ricotta show and argued about fair use and free speech It's a very good job on Nick ricotta show and argued about fair use and free speech and stuff. You did a very good job on Nick or Katie's show. And everyone agreed with you. Well. Everybody said you were right. Even Nick or Katie said you were right. I think people should go flood Nick or Katie's comments with Vito was right to counteract all the stupid Kiwi Farms kids that go, I don't care if Vito's right.

I want him to be wrong. So we wake up and drive up there to get our dog. It's supposed to be a little, we get our dog and we're like all right we'll drive back home okay we got the dog now it's time to lay down almost immediately get a call from my mom hey we got to go out of town um can you watch our dog yeah sure taking two dogs back when that's what we're leaving tomorrow so uh uh could you come up and get our dog? Wow. I said, are you? Wow. Are you insane? After 24 hours of flying around and then an hour up, an hour back, not 10 minutes ago.

You had already picked up Maddie. I'd already picked up our dog. She goes, no, you think you could come up today and get a shit. Are you fucking insane? What do you think? First of all, you have no kinds of disabilities. Aside from being a woman, you got no kinds of disabilities at all. You can drive and go wherever you want. You don't use a scooter.

You don't use any kind of assist at anything. Nothing. Not even hearing. See, that sounds like your dad. Speaking through her like Tyler Derrickson. That's what it sounds like. No fucking way, without even a beat. She goes, well, do you think you could meet us halfway?

Are you fucking, no. In fact, I'm going to drive further away from you. Meet me downtown. Meet me in Long Beach. I'm going to be down there all day signing autographs to no one. Come drop your own dog off down there She goes why? Then I hear shouting in the background my dad. Well, we got the garage guy coming to fix the garage We couldn't possibly get him. Yeah

Aren't there two of them? Two garages? Oh two of them! Two adults! People! Couldn't one of them wait for the garage guy? No, because they're non-drivers. They don't drive. Do they never drive anywhere? Like Zoolander. I don't turn left. I don't drive at all. Wherever you're going, we're not driving. Well, they have a car, though.

They have many cars. Oh, many cars. I don't know how to use them, I guess. I don't know if it can atrophy. They do not fucking drive. So I bring this up and my girlfriend says, yeah, the same thing happens use them. I guess I don't know if it can atrophy. They do not fucking drive So I bring this up my girlfriend says yeah the same thing happens to me. I'll meet these new friends Yeah, and I'm like okay. Well. Do you want to get? Some you want to like get some food or something or do something and they say well Yeah

But I don't drive so It would have to be like if you could come over and pick me up So it would have to be like, if you could come over and pick me up or we could do something. It's been fun with women. A lot of women are very afraid of driving, especially in this modern age. I'm also afraid of them driving. They're weirdly afraid. They're too afraid so they don't drive at all. But they're not afraid at all when they get in like 50 accidents.

The not afraid at all is worse almost. You don't understand You think it would be worse Well you need to understand Inertia There's some basic physics That you You don't have the reaction time

To stop this Two ton machine When you're fucking Whipping it around Like that In a fucking parking lot Stop telling the story And just drive

For Yeah You need to be Paying attention In the parking lot And you can pick up the story once you're on the freeway. I know. And even then, you can't be getting that as into it as you're getting.

I know, I know. I had a girlfriend who had, like, severe anxiety, so she couldn't drive. And she lived, like, several towns over. And we also couldn't hang out at her house for some reason. Why? I don't know't hang out at her house for some reason. Why? I don't know. Her parents were there all the time and it was not a big house.

I guess it kind of would have been awkward or whatever. Okay. So I had to drive all the way to her fucking house, pick her up, drive her back to my house. Then when we were done hanging out, drive all the fucking way back to her house and then finally drive back to my house again. Yeah. And like, it was like an hour each way. The picking them up thing. It's awful.

What did you say? Hey, sir, I'm going to go fuck your daughter in my house. Basically. I mean, like, that's what was happening. I'm like, honey, get in the car. Ass first. Back it up. I was always like, hello, sir.

We're going to go enjoy a night out on the American town. Get some American cheeseburgers. Is that what you do when you have a daughter? You just trick her into making guys do all this work to fuck you? Yeah. Drive them here, drive them there. Drive them all around? Yeah.

And try to put out of your mind what's happening once they leave your house. I got some stats Men drive 16,000 miles a year Women drive an average of 10,000 miles It's quite a big difference Yeah wage gap I crave driving I just drive for the sake of it

Really I'll just get in my car and just Tool around feel the road Why I don't know gets me out of the house I got nowhere else to be I could see that I'll just get in my car and just Tool around Feel the road Why? I don't know Gets me out of the house I got nowhere else to be I could see that

I've done that before I just get stir crazy I'm just like I gotta go I gotta drive There's nowhere to go though I don't know where to go You just drive till you hit water Yeah basically

Yeah well Then keep going Somehow they figured out a way to Drive down here and drop their dog off Oh they did it Miraculously So I didn't have to drive The same drive

Two hour drive again That I had just driven Must have given enough fucking Like phone attitude To get them to shame them into Temporarily shame them into Actually doing like Doing a small thing to repay you

For the favor that you're doing them oh they watched your dog too but yeah it's still the driving is uh what do you call it so why did they not complicate the dog when you came over the first time they weren't gonna go and then they changed their minds and they decided to go oh because my fucking more actually more driving is why okay they were gonna were going to go first. They were going to drive to Nebraska. Wow. But then my sister's husband got COVID.

So they called the whole trip off because, of course, none of them could possibly drive. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Oh, we can't possibly go. So then they had a big fucking struggle session and decided they'd try to drive without him. Yeah. So then they had to. But he's going to fly out at the end after he recovers from COVID

to drive them back. Gotcha. Because both ways would be way too much. Both ways is. Jesus Christ. Taking years off your life. The first way is going to be traumatic. Traumatic.

Right. So if you know a non-driver, if you have a non-driver in your life, please vote this problem up. The first time I got a girlfriend who had her own car and enjoyed driving us places i remember being like this is this is bliss this is all i ever wanted oh yeah she drove all the way back from uh vegas uh last time we went that's a keeper and i decided at the beginning that i wasn't gonna feel bad about it yeah right because usually like i still said all the you know right oh you're so great i decided internally that i wasn't going to feel bad about it at all and the whole way home i was just like ah snoozing not even paying attention well some people driving is not like you know a

chore like for me like i've uh i used to drive around with my dad all the time for just hours because he was always zipping around doing business shit so i've around with them for hours not doing business no so i'm just you know i'm used to being in a car for a long stretch of time whatever some people can't handle it all right what's your my problem dick and this will be great because we have an audio engineer here. What was I going to say? The low production quality of amateur pornography. Now, guys. This is lighting, isn't it?

Well, there's a lot of problems, and we're going to go through them in order. Now, I'm a guy. I am a red-blooded American male. I'm very excited about the internet age. You're a pedo. I'm not a pedo. I'm an average American pet-o. I'm an average American

pet-o. A pet owner. And as such, I enjoy some pornography. And the internet age has given us access to a wide variety of more pornography than we've ever seen before. True.

Which sounds exciting on the surface. It is. But when you start digging into it, it's like a topless beach. It's a double-edged sword. Exactly. The topless beach sounds great, but then you get there,

there's some imperfections, some inconsistencies, some saggy skin. And I think the era of amateur porn, frankly, I think these people are phoning it in and we are getting a low production. Literally phoning it in. And we are getting a low production. Literally phoning it in. Yeah.

Filming on their phones. Bad lighting. How are you complaining about free pornography? Because why would you not want to up your craft? Let's put it this way. I'm a YouTuber, right? And the whole thing on YouTube, we're constantly talking about how to up your game and make it in the creator ecosystem.

And it's all about finding different kind of lights and making sure your audio is great because you want to give... None of you do. No. But my audio is pretty good. Should porn stars start talking about how the SJWs are ruining

Star Wars while they're banging? I don't want that. But I will say, one of the first ones, I am really bothered by the bad audio. Okay? Especially because I'm a guy, I like these videos where it's kind of like a POV. Like the girl's talking to you, like she's going to do something to you. What is she going to do? Call the cops.

Oh, man. Call the cops, you rap's like Call the cops Oh man Call the cops You rapist Call the cops No she's like Oh man I'm gonna suck Something And I'm gonna fuck

Something And you're right there In the action Cocks or something else Cocks Yes obviously Why are you so uncomfortable Saying that

I'm not uncomfortable I'm trying to you know Say this in a way that I don't want her So someone's listening With their kids They're through It's okay

He said she's gonna Suck something There are pets out there For fuck's sake The problem is I'll download the video kids. It's okay. He said she's going to suck something. There are pets out there for fuck's sake. The problem is I'll download the video. It sounds great. You know, these torrent sites where you can get all these clips. I download it. I'm like, well, this is going to be great. And then I listen to it and immediately

I hear the air conditioner running. There's a fan in the background. Like I told you, it's like this POV like, hey. What are you search for on the torrent? POV what? Air conditioner. Air conditioner porn. Girl wants to suck your cock.

Like angry Hispanic lady yells at your penis for being too big. Like whatever else. I think you're making up silly, like guys when they get uncomfortable, they start making up silly porn stuff. It's not silly porn. Guys, when they get uncomfortable, they start making up silly porn stuff. It's not silly porn. Look, the point is that there are actresses and they're saying dirty things to get me excited.

But all I'm hearing is their terrible air conditioning and fans, which could easily be knocked out with a low pass filter or some simple equalization, Sean. Well, yeah, that goes a long way. Not to mention there way. Not to mention, there's incredible just noise removal software. There's so much noise removal software. Yeah. I mean, if a clip is good, I will take it and I will run it through the noise remover just to see if I can clean. I have to clean up the pornography. Jerk off?

It's come so far. So the lighting is terrible. I have to take it into. No, that's good, though, man. No, because the reason, like, if you get too much high production value in pornography, it's like when they remastered Star Wars at 120 hertz. Oh, yeah. It was like garbage cans that got spray painted.

I don't want to see that much of a woman ever. Well, your brain fills in. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I think there is a too good. You can have too good a resolution for porn i want at least the white balance it's a little uh where they don't look like a fucking zombie woman okay and a little bit it's like it's too dark too much grain what is this

better qualify white balance well you're not getting white balance in most of these uh You're not getting white balance in most of these wonderful pieces of media. Also, okay, let's be clear. We know it's a small production, so sometimes it's just one girl with a camera. Okay? But the framing, baby, get like a second monitor to check to make sure you're framed up. Uh-huh. Because I've gotten these clips, and's like Pointing at the ceiling With one girl Who is

I don't believe The Hispanic lady Yelling at your penis Is too big He wants to call out This porn star And he's not doing it Yeah

What amateur porn star Are you talking about There's a variety Of these porn stars It's like It's like virtual It's not virtual reality But it's like

POV Like pornography Like they're just talking Nasty to you And then there's like A guy like pornography like they're just talking nasty to you and then there's like a guy that's supposed to be you you know so she starts like sucking on that guy's dick but it's supposed to be your dick pov blow jobs then yeah yeah like that i mean sometimes they'll actually have sex with the guy and stuff yeah yeah okay it's like you're because i don't because i want to be part of it i don't want to her fuck some other guy Okay, you know all right, okay?

But then aiming if you like moves the camera you're like I'm looking at another guy's cock. Oh no Well, sometimes they won't have another guy sometimes. It'll be like a dildo that they're pretending. I hate that I also I do hate that I hate that shit. Yeah But because they try to like not be a whore and do that. It's like, oh, fuck you. It's pretty obvious. That's bullshit. It's also just, yeah, it's not real enough.

Regardless, another problem is that these people, in addition to the production quality of the equipment they have, there's a real lack of improv training in the amateur porn community. Now, Dick, you famously did what? Operate Citizens Brigade? Yeah. What's the first rule of improv? Location. Location's a good one.

I was thinking about the rule. The yes anding? Is that what you're talking about? You want that in porn? Yes. Well, because sometimes they'll be. I'm fucking you in space. Oh, yeah, and Hitler's here.

And he has AIDS. Yeah. No, they'll have these videos and it's two girls are going to suck your cock, right? I'm listening. And one of them goes like, I'm going to suck the hell out of your cock Right I'm listening And one of them goes like I'm gonna suck The hell out of your cock Right And the other one goes

No I'm gonna suck his cock And I go Bitch Yes and She already established That she's going to suck the cock And now you're coming in

And changing the whole thing Just you know Encourage her Go yeah You should suck that cock You'd be a good porn director I would I would stop the scene immediately. Don't you want them fighting

over you? Yes, of course. Yeah. Yeah, but not in like... Right, gives you more power. I guess. I don't know. It's just like, sometimes it gets into these awkward situations where it's like, you know, If they're not fighting something, they're lying to you. Right. Okay, but like... We have to teach them how to watch porn, I think. One of them will express

like a clear direction. Like, oh, I'm gonna lick the shaft them how to watch porn. I think them will express like a clear Direction like oh, I'm gonna lick I'm gonna let the shopping and then the other one will be like no I'm gonna tickle the balls and I'm like no no like let her do this is way too specific What what exactly did you see that makes you think of this because you're not saying it I'm just telling you that there's a variety of porn movies. Yeah with these people They don't have the improv training. Okay. They have bad equipment. It's all set up wrong.

Yeah. And frankly, the quality just isn't there. And I think these amateur... Well, stop watching amateur porn then. Watch your big budget Peddowood stuff. Yeah, but sometimes the amateur girls are crazy, you know? Yeah. You know. Well, amateur girls are crazy, you know? Yeah.

You know. Well, they're trying to, you know, get a roster spot. Right? I mean, you got to. The point is. What torrents are you putting in? Where do you find these? Don't worry about what torrents there are. The point is, Dick, there's a variety of exciting pornography out there.

I like, I want to be in the scene. That's why I want the VR porn to be good. Right. I want to be a part of the action. It's pretty good. Is it good? No, it's not good. If the helmet's the worst part.

I still haven't got the helmet. I should get the helmet. So how are you judging VR porn if you don't have the helmet? They have the ones you can watch on your phone and it's like. What? Like you cross your eyes? Like the optic? No, no, no.

But it's like you can like look around with the phone and stuff What do you mean? Like you hold it up and then it's like you're in the room, yeah you basically hold it up to your eyes, kind of. No, that's no good You gotta get the whole immersive helmet I know, well they're expensive I don't know which one to get. It's 300 bucks

If you just lost some weight you'd get a Well maybe if I win the weight loss challenge I will get the VR porno helmet But in the meantime If you just lost some weight You'd get a Well maybe if I win the weight loss Challenge I will get the VR porno helmet Oh But in the meantime I think all the This whole realm of amateur porn

They need to Pick it up They need to Ah man Then it's gonna be about like Then they're gonna take it too seriously And they're gonna start networking And building brands

I just want them to fix the audio And stuff If a girl's gonna talk dirty to me Then they're going to take it too seriously And they're going to start networking And building brands and stuff If a girl's going to talk dirty to me I don't want to hear her fucking air conditioner It doesn't work Maybe they should dub it They should dub it It'd probably be better Get a professional voice actress in there

To make it good That's my problem The lacking quality Of amateur problem The lacking quality Of amateur pornography The production quality of amateur pornography Because you've never had more tools At your disposal than now Yeah there's no excuse you should be making

Hollywood quality anything Go get a decent camera for nothing I don't find it charming Yeah Um well You're gonna miss it when it's gone. Maybe. Are we going to look back?

Is that that thing? Who's the guy who has the quote where it's like, whatever is off-putting about media now will become what we are nostalgic for in the future? Yeah, like those lines, the magnet lines in old VHS. Even the sound. The sound is static. That sound of it accepting the VHS is making your dick hot. Like, oh, yeah, here it comes.

Yeah, it's true. Mechanical, yeah. Someday we'll be making, like, high-quality fucking alien virtual porn. We'll be putting fucking film green all over it to make it look like it came out of an iPhone 3. Yeah. Okay. I'm excited. Sean, do you have a problem?

Already? Yeah. You. I'm excited. Sean, do you have a problem? Already? Yeah. It's good right now. Now that you, now that you, it's funny you brought up, you brought up audio. Yeah.

So in COVID, yeah, I guess my problem is actors recording at home. Okay. That's, it's not a good problem, but if anybody's ever watched, I find that interesting.

If anybody's watched any, because 95% of the time it's complete fucking crap and all you're doing is frosting shit so as soon as as soon as covet hit you know they want to keep making shows it's like okay now it's equipment is affordable here's the thing that nobody thinks about it and still doesn't think about for whatever fucking reason because they don't have any experience with it. The fucking room. Yeah. The room noise is terrible. I don't care if you've put a fucking microphone

an inch from a guitar cabinet, it's still getting the room. That, just a little bit. The room fucking matters. So now you've got a condenser microphone. People are acting. They're all over the place. They're in a fucking walk-in closet.

There's a walk-in closet. Every room has a sound. They turn off a little bit. All of a sudden, you get a fucking walk-in closet. There's a walk-in closet. Every room has a sound. They turn off a little bit. All of a sudden, you get a fucking boost here. There's things called modes and nodes in room, right? This is real geeky shit that you should never talk about on a date ever. You'll never get another one. But it's basically, I can remember recording shows.

Can you imagine having mom talk on a date at this point in your life? No. Just assume never date again. Yeah. But you, I can remember sitting there and like production is like, no, no, well, you know, this is, this is okay. Like what they have is, is we feel like it's good enough to use. And we're like fucking some fucking poor, there's going to be, remember when we started, it was going to be like in about nine months, there's going to be some really fucking pissed off mixers. I can remember, I won't name the show, but one in particular is so fucking bad.

It was like, I can't believe, it's like, can we get them? You know, we'll give them, please, can you, hang a bunch of fucking blankets in there. Like, don't do it when the gardener's there with the weed, with the lawn. Jesus Christ. It's like, I think they think that you can fix anything. And I was like, this is going to be somebody's worst fucking nightmare. Whoever is going to mix this is going to be fucking pissed off.

Some poor fucking bastard. Little did I know the poor bastard was me. So it's. Can you kick any of that stuff back? Can you go? This is just actually unusable if something is actually distorted if something's distorted yeah i can do that yeah if something is actually distorted uh yeah but sometimes they're you know sometimes there's not safety for that one time

sometimes oh god it's it's it's it's such a i watch because i'm curious i was like oh what does this show sound like what is this and there's just a huge, huge drop in animation, audio quality with the voice acting COVID. Yeah. During COVID it's, it's still happening and there's still, luckily the casting directors now are sending out auditions to actors saying expected to record in studio because they want to go back to,

to doing cast records, you know, like you can actually get a flow. You know what I mean? You don't have to, uh, it's amazing how good they can actually do by understanding the script and not even hearing each other's lines. Then sometimes the less experienced people, it's like, okay, we got to pull lines beforehand so you can, so they can play off of it, which slows everything down.

It's time, you know, time is money. So if they want people to come back, but still there's a lot of people, well, I've been recording for three years at home so it's like yeah and it sucked ass for three fucking years like trash it's garbage it's fucking garbage you can tell that they're in different rooms with different equipment none of it's good every once in a while you'll get you'll get some people who have real pro setups and i'll throw this name out there for anybody in video game world. Troy Baker. Oh, yeah. That guy is famous. He can record at home anytime he wants. Yeah. But he's the one. Who's Troy Baker?

He's the one. I know the last game I played with him. The last of us. Well, last of us. He's done a million things. He's done a billion things. Death Stranding was the last game I played with him. No, he's got fucking, his shit's better than ours.

Yeah. Can't you just delete all the video game dialogue? Because it's all like just skip skip some people love the stories i guess i don't know i'm not a gamer anyway say that to like look cool that's my it's you know i've talked to mixers who go they go i don't think i've mixed anything in two and a half years i've i've frosted shit i've fixed things as best i can but there's no there's no time or budget to fix it. So it just, you go,

well, they were recorded in three different places. You can only do so much. They don't give them like strict instructions, like record here, only do this, close all the doors. Well, luckily, a lot of times they hook up with an actual studio so you can kind of babysit them. It's like, yeah, I heard something in the back. Did the air just go on? Is that your computer fan?

Is that the leaf blower? Can you tell your kid to stop walking around upstairs? Yeah. But it's still, you're only going to, you're only going to hear so much and they've got to get it done. So it's, it's,

it's, it's, I'm surprised all these professional voice actors don't have like a little studio. They thought it was going to be temporary. A lot of them do, but they, they just, they, yeah, they just, it was just a stop gap. You in their home. They thought it was going to be temporary. A lot of them do, but they just,

yeah, they just, it was just a stopgap, you know what I mean? So it was like, they bought whatever bullshit USB mic. Sorry,

Beast Boy has his own. They set him up for COVID. Yeah, Sipes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw they like did a tour of his house. He's like, oh, they built me this

because of COVID. Yeah. I'm like, oh, that guy must do a shit ton of voice acting, so. Well, I mean, he's, you know, or one one big one yeah yeah that's the thing no i mean he does a bunch of stuff but he's always he's always that guy yeah you know i mean he's not like a

chameleon but yeah but he's sure yeah so you know i mean they will there we've actually gone to people's uh you know houses and set them up because it was important enough for them to say hey just yeah well just yeah set up their equipment put them in, you know, houses and set them up because it was important enough for them to say, hey, just, well, just, yeah, set up their equipment, put them in, somebody, you know, like treated their room as best they could. And it's still not, still not as good because, you know, you go off Michael, you start hearing the room more and more.

You yell, you're exciting the room. It sounds like fucking crap. See, now I want to like find out after the show, like, all right, which show sounds like complete dog shit. Is there any shows you've done all of them yeah but is there any one that you didn't work on that you're like

you can listen to it and you know how bad it is everything is just so bad and lazy now nothing comes to mind but it never got any better after everyone

left work and slowly started coming back it's all everything is like everything all of human civilization

Has become Asynchronous It's like Okay well When are you gonna be around That we can talk about this Oh in like an hour and a half Or like maybe

Uh Alright Well I guess I'll try back later We've had A difficult Time Getting our media

Back on track. COVID really fucked all the TV shows and the movies. Everything's been bad. It's just... Everything's just horrible now. They just need to fucking insist. It's like, it's over. Everybody come back.

Unless you have some kind of crazy fucking immunocompromised system. No, no, no. Because that's how they get... I know. They'll come up with that. Because the amount of therapy dogs and fake... If you've ever seen anybody reply yo no i take that back fucking aids ass back in the studio now i take it back from my can't give them an inch my perspective yeah nobody should be nobody should be recording at home yeah except for a select few who were

doing it beforehand because they do so much work and you know people everybody had to figure out how to get good internet number one i mean jesus christ right yeah it probably took it probably took the first year to get most people to shitty quality i'm getting worked up talking about it it's to be the most boring thing on earth for this episode. I love this stuff. But if you just got to name drop more people, then they'll be really into it. The problem is I want all the inside baseball. Like, yeah, but who sucks the most?

Futurama's back. How are their lines? I assume the writing gets worse every iteration. Well, the cast members that I know on Futurama who I've worked with, they're some of the first ones who want to come into the studio. I don't know what they're doing now. We haven't done any new Futurama. But I've worked with every one of those guys a million times.

And they were always, as soon as they could come back, they wanted to come back. Because a lot of them are older. They're like, fuck this. I don't want to act. I don't want to think about being an engineer. I don't want to worry about if don't want to think about being an engineer. I don't want to worry about if I'm rolling the, you know, if I'm supposed to make a new file. That's the most fucking stressful part of doing the podcast is all the recording shit. I don't want to worry about if I'm about to yell. You know, do I have to reset the gain now?

And, you know, they just don't want to think about it. So it's great. It was great when they wanted to come back. But it's all like the younger people who, like like think they're techie enough to do it but who have no fucking clue about what it takes to record just basic clean audio you think it's easy no it's not but acting is a you're going it's very dynamic it's very dynamic and it's and what's really bad is when they they uh they record the original record in one place. Then they come back and they do pickups.

Now they've moved. So now they're in a different, or they upgraded their equipment or something. It doesn't even fucking matter. No one's watching or listening to anything anywhere. It's just on in the background because everything is fucking terrible. background because everything is fucking terrible but i just because all of entertainment moved from a system where you could be successful and make a good product and you would make more money everyone involved would make more money to a system that's entirely uh that subsists and is successful based on what the fed says interest rates are there's no reason for any of these

streaming companies to make any good products ever. It doesn't affect the stock price at all. So who even fucking cares? It's like art has been, in our generation, art has been completely destroyed. All of the incentives to make it or to support it have been totally removed

at every level. What if I want to own the libs? That's one good reason. Yeah, that's art. Our art has entirely become advertising. That is it. The products that we're making don't matter, and that was, that did not come about organically. It came about through

these asinine government restrictions on every single facet of our lives. Shown through the only art that we now have is specifically lying. That's it. What did you think of the comic?

Well, I spent money on it. I gave my money to Eric Gelato on the lips, so I must love it. I love it, and my response to you is an additional form of marketing. That's how much I love this art form, is I compulsively do it and that someone does not

do it is so offensive that we have to reject them because it threatens to undermine our entire artistic integrity as liars. Right. Gotta keep the lie going. Well that sucks that your profession

is ruined. That's my problem. Vote it down. What was it? Voice actors not coming into the studio. Home voice actors? Home VAs. Sure.

Home VAs. Vito Zeus was. I bet people will literally go like, God, it has sounded like shit. What other video games have you worked on? Oh, I mean, you know, I don't want to say a bunch of shit. You're not supposed to spell anybody. Candy Crush? You worked on that?

No, we didn't do Candy Crush. No, we do like... Any kind of porno games? We don't do a ton of video games, but some that are like... Did you work with Troy Baker ever? You don't have to tell me on what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Many times.

He's a great voice actor. Sure. Mine was the lacking production quality of amateur pornography. Okay, lacking production quality. These are very technical problems. Well, we're at 100 episodes deep. What are you going to do? We're out of problems.

Mine was non-drivers. Yeah, that's actually the... Non-drivers. Yeah. I was going to do rape. I should have done rape, but that would overlap too much. Well, do we need to fill more time? How long have we been going for?

59 minutes. One hour, 10? How long have we been going for? 59 minutes. One hour 10? How long do these shows go? We could do about that long. Really? We could do one user problem. First person who says, the first person in chat who says problem colon and then their problem, I'll do that. Assuming it's not moronic.

No, no, no. We got to weigh you in too. We'll do the No no no And we gotta weigh you in too We'll do voicemails And then we'll weigh you in Let's see Well we're having A great time Guys don't forget

To vote on all the problems At biggestproblem.show And check out the most Recent bonus episode The biggest problem In summertime Now at patreon.com Slash biggest problem

And back.by Slash biggest problem There it is. Problems. Problem. Landscapers. No, it was. Gamers. We've got. I thought Adam didn't. No, Adam Sessler already did that. I'm pretty sure. No, his problem was Adam Sessler.

That's true. Jays. Problem. Not that. Problem. Teeth pain. Problem. F slurs. problem carnivals, problem Republicans. I almost brought in that one. Problem ISOM, problem AIDS, date pickers on phones, reply guys, landscapers, bags of lettuce. That's a good one. Those go bad pretty quick.

And gamers. Okay, I guess gamers is the winner then. Gamers. Wait, so somebody mr. magic Alan talked somebody's now we're just gonna speculate on his problem oh I see how it goes yeah those gamers I tell you what what do you call it well the problem with the gamers is everyone's a gamer so what are you identifying as exactly I'm not yeah but most, most people are playing a video game.

You're playing a video game, I'm sure. Uh, yeah, I played Darkest Dungeon. How's that? Recently. I mean, it's a video game. That's all you're playing. You got the Super Nintendo hooked up again. But it deleted my game, so I quit in anger. Yeah.

And then my nephew did that, um, he started playing the Lost Levels too because I said it was so hard for me to get to the last level And then my nephew did that. He started playing the lost levels too because I said it was so hard for me to get to the last level and then my game got deleted. But he's doing that save thing. Save states?

Yeah, save states where you're playing, you save it, and then you go a little bit and save it again. So there's never any chance of messing up. Right.

So he did the whole thing in like a half hour. But some games don't do that, right? Like, they'll take you back to some. The emulators do. It's like built into the software. Yeah.

So there's no risk. No risk at all. But he still feels good about it, which makes it worse. Yeah, good. It's the same. I won. Well, the problem is fake gamer accolades. Taking the glory without fighting for it.

Fake gamers? Well, I don't know. We'll put it up on the website. Well, I was going to say the biggest problem with gamers is that it's kind of a replacement for religion now. Is that the problem has been the reason people are so passionate. Remember when the Gamergate happened? Everyone's like, why are these guys so mad? Yeah.

And I'm like, well, cause this is their tribalism. They have nothing else. They're mostly young white men who have been told, well, you have no racial identity. All the churches are closed. All the afterschool programs

are closed. Literally the only thing you have is to afterschool go home and play Halo 2 on the internet. Yeah. That is their community. It is their church.

So when you go, hey, but that church part you keep saying, why is it? What else do they, it's their community. It is their church. So when you go, hey, but that church part you keep saying it's there. What else do they it's there? Okay, because America used to be you were you were sorted along. First, it was racial lines, but then the racial lines kind of got crossed. And we said, ah, Italians can be whites and Jews are kind of white, too. Who cares? Who said that? Who's we? It just kind of naturally happened. We let the Irish qualify as white, okay? So then the cultural lines became religious. Catholics, Christians, Jews. And that was your group. I hang out with other Catholics. I see them at church every Sunday.

That is my neighborhood community meeting place. Then we found out all the religions just raped the shit out of kids and they won't stop. We said, well, I don't really want to make that my primary identity. So we dissolved the churches and then your primary identity became these individual niche hobbies and interests when all the white kids basically. What is this like germ steel And whatever Vito style This is what happened This is like cockamamie nonsense Well no cause let's put it this way

The black kids still got to have a racial identity After the church was dissolved And the Asian kids got to Whatever they like whatever they're into But white kids were all left in this conglomerate Of we don't belong to anything we don't belong to a church We no longer have individual racial identities. They have tons of churches for white people.

Yeah, but like most people, religion is dying off. They're not major community centers anymore. Okay. Okay. The major community center is- Are video games? The Call of Duty lobby is the new church. That's it.

Sitting in a Call of Duty lobby with your friends. I feel like I'm talking to Zirka again. No, I'm- What are you talking about? Oh my God. That's- It is their religion. It doesn't have anything to do with your friends. I feel like I'm talking to Zerka again. What are you talking about? That's religion. It is their religion. It doesn't have anything to do with video games. It is their tribe.

It is their tribe. It is their tribal identity is gamer. I am a gamer. I hang out with other gamers. We talk about games. We love games. That's it. That's the most important thing to them.

Why do you think this culture war shit Has gotten so out of control Because we're no longer just talking I can't answer that We're not just talking about Star Wars and Final Fantasy anymore We're literally talking about people's passionate Tribal identities They are defined by the fact that they grew up

Watching Star Wars and playing Zelda That's it They have no church, they have no family All they have is the shit they consume. And when you go, hey, can we put some women in it? They go, what the fuck? You want to change the Bible?

You want to change my scripture? You want to revise it in any possible way? And they lose their fucking minds because it's literally... No, they love women in video games. They want hot chicks. Yeah, sure. Everybody wants hot everything. They want hot chicks. Yeah, sure. Everybody wants hot everything.

Nobody wants dumpy, ugly, anything in video games. I agree with that. And that's why I tell people who attack the video games and they go, well, it should be more feminist or whatever else. I go, guys, you don't understand how crucial this is to these people. Like, leave them alone.

Stop fucking with it. But just stop being feminist. Like, that's retarded everything about it is retarded there's uh yeah look i don't think there's a i think it is unhealthy the relationship that we have with fandom and video games whatever else now yeah where like it literally is people's identity But you have to acknowledge that And when you come into it with your you know New wave leftist bullshit

And go like well actually Why don't we make a trans character or whatever It's like no just leave it alone It is like very crucial to these people And if you poke the fucking bear They're going to lose their minds Because they have nothing else Oh yeah

I get that I understand that I don't know Gamergate was about that chick Who was like Fucking guys For good reviews Right? But like

That was mostly a smokescreen To say Get all the SJW shit out of our video games Get all the SJWs out of video games Get the SJW shit out of our video games Which It's pretty annoying It was pretty annoying

It's annoying But the reason it got so passionate People were like Why are there death threats? Why are there whatever the fuck else? You know Why everybody losing their minds like cuz that's their identity wait? That's all that what these white kids have got what she was fucking guys To get her game reviewed well, but how is that any different from advertising in a guitar magazine? And then getting like great revenge exactly how it's always work figure that out

That's how it always that's's nothing new. That's how, of course, it works like that, but they thought that they just, you think, you think Gibson's latest piece of shit gets a bad review in Guitar World? Like, what did you, do you guys value the reviews? Is that what you're Yeah. Is that

what you're saying? They wanted the game industry to be more ethical and I was, no, they wanted whores to be more ethical. No, they wanted whores to be punished. Honestly, they mostly wanted whores to be punished. Yeah, that's what annoyed me the most about it was the ethics. Just say that. Well, but you can't. You can't.

You could. You can't be on YouTube and say it. What drove me nuts was the disingenuous of like, well, I just want these magazines to identify potential conflicts of interest. I'm like, just say you don't want SJWs in your video games. Just say fuck whores. I know that's what you actually want. I want that as well. Everybody hates whores. They're fucking

everything up. But the reason it grew to such a fever pitch and you were able to capitalize on it and turn it into a political movement with Breitbart and Milo Yiannopoulos is again, it's basically serving the function of a media is currently serving the function of a religion right now. Oh, it is so because religion is meant to be a community meeting place. Like COVID, it's a tribal experience.

Like the COVIDians are like worship everything that's about COVID. Everyone wants to belong to a tribe. The branch COVIDians. Everybody wants to be a part of something. Even us who we say everything is bullshit. We don't want to belong to anything. People who don't believe that elections are fake. Okay, sure.

Whatever. Yeah, fine. That's a tribe. I mean, the other form of religion is politics. That's the other big one. Oh, yeah. People force themselves down the left or the right. Fuck yeah.

That's probably a much, you know, bigger problem. Yeah. But that's again, another pseudo religion. And then, you know,

religions are being created as a mixture of these different fandoms and political beliefs. And some of it is tying into actual religion, but honestly, it's mostly just being supplanted. The liberalism versus conservative. Those are the biggest churches right now. They're bigger than Catholicism or Christianity.

Are you right or are you left? That's it. You have to sort yourself into one of those two holy fucking houses. Yeah. And why we get in trouble is because I go, I reject both of your gods. I don't like the Republicans

and I don't like the Democrats. Oh, you're so liberal though. You just say that to be like Mr. Sinner guy, but you're so liberal. Because I just know that they to be like Mr. Sinner guy, but you're so liberal. Because I just know that they're fucking up because I go, I really care about science, and it seems like you guys on the left care about science, but then you fuck around and lie about COVID,

and I don't want you to do that. And what else? And trans shit. And a lot of other shit. You can't let the fucking lunatics steer the ship Yeah, there's no place to go Where everyone just goes Yes, science is really good

Like actual science It's both sides No, you have to be a scientist But the scientists are playing into it And they're being fuckheads Yeah Well, some of them are Global warming

Some global warming stuff goes a little too far Some of it is legitimate What do you mean? How do you know? What do you mean? What's legitimate? I didn't bring in global warming stats What's legitimate about it? That global temperatures are rising

And that it is creating genuine problems For the ecosystem But we're not going to drown in 20 years What's causing it, though? Greenhouse gas emissions. How do you know? Because they've studied it. You're going to keep...

What do you want me to do? I'm not a scientist. I just want you to say I have no idea. I don't know. I just saw on the news that global temperatures are going up. I don't fucking know if they are or not. I wouldn't know. If somebody showed me a number, I would go, yeah, I don't know. I know that temperatures are going up. I don't fucking know if they are or not. I wouldn't know. If somebody showed me a number,

I would go, yeah, I don't know. I know that emissions are going up. I've seen, you know, the various reasons why. And that checked out. Livestock, factories, whatever the fuck else. What about clouds? What about the clowns?

I mean, shouldn't that be doing stuff? Yeah, the clowns should be doing stuff. They're white, you know? Look, I'm not like a super fucking expert on climate change, all right? I have other things that are more pressing to me. What do you mean you're not a super expert? I just, you know, what are you a super expert on? I mean, I know nothing about

Well you know all this stuff about COVID Apparently and people haven't I don't know if we're allowed to talk about that on this show anymore Oh really Yeah cause we'll lose our YouTube channel or something Oh really Point is we need a new human religion They've tried that before

That's not working Should it be love-based? Oh, fuck that. Well, that's what I was talking about. Didn't I talk about it on a previous show that I want to start the gamer church? Okay. I think that we should make gaming into an actual religion. Spelled with a Y?

Yeah. A bunch of Z-mames. Oh, no. I thought this would be something else. I think if people are going to be uniting Along the idea that human beings are meant to play Maybe women, that's the religion Collectively enjoy a game or whatever Yeah

I think that's a deeply human experience To hang out and play games with your buddies I think nerds just like have a hard time with competition So they make it all complicated Huh, yeah Just like any kind of football video games That's true, sports Gaming was that problem

Gaming is the problem Gamers Here's the voicemails Hello, I just wanted to let you guys know That I hate women Okay Best voicemail we've ever gotten Best one

Short and to the point. Okay, here's one. What's up, Dick and Vito? Today, I believe the biggest problem in the universe is politicized legal persecution. And there's probably 100 people you could talk about, obviously, Trump and lots. But the worst one by far. Did you notice that Andrew Tate's house arrest was dropped and that the whole case against him was going to be dropped

and like we all hate him like it's looking like he's totally innocent and that it was all bullshit from the beginning they're making that fucking asshole right they're making him right this is how fucked the problem is

that they're validating fucking Andrew Tate A guy we're all embarrassed to share a side with Fuck Politicized legal persecution Yeah what is going on there Is he getting the charges dropped No he's no longer on house arrest He's on

He's on bail Well they probably like revoke his passport He's not allowed to leave the well they probably like revoke his passport. I mean, right? He's not allowed to leave the city. Yeah. It's just like a totally normal... Does he have a monitor or something? Uh, no. I don't think so, but... Wasn't there a hearing? Did the hearing happen? That was the hearing.

So the hearing determined he remains on house arrest. This is... No, he's no longer on house arrest, but he can't leave the city. Probably like some... That's it. It's totally... Like, if you're guilty, you could still be remanded to, like, the city. Like, it's not free in any way. Here's my favorite part of this voicemail. I've got to hear it again.

And there's probably 100 people you could talk about, obviously, something. But the worst one by far Did you notice that Andrew's house arrest was dropped And that the whole case against him was going to be dropped It was It was going to be I haven't heard that yet

That hasn't come out yet Well if it does Then we'll be the first ones to say you're right Well then it has to go to court. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a case, right? This is not a win. I don't know why guys are saying this is a win.

Well, he gets to go outside. I haven't kept up. I know nothing about it. I don't know. I've got a lot of people told me this today. Really? Okay. People reading headlines.

Yeah, he's guilty. Dude, I've seen like a lot of documents of like the shit he was saying to women. It's insane. I think that's pretty clearly fucking illegal. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I tricked this bitch and I took all her money away and now she can't leave. And I'm like, well. I got guys to mortgage their house and give me money when I was pretending to be a woman.

Like, yeah, man, that's very illegal. It's very. Okay. How about. Like, yeah, man, that's very illegal. That's very, okay. How about, oh, Vito on Twitter. Oh, God. Uh-oh. Where'd it go?

Oh, God damn it. I installed a new program. The new biggest problem, I think, is Vito's new bitch move on Twitter to be like, oh, provide a source. I need proof of this.

I need to see proof of this. Actually, it's actually a move that you could provide. You know what the worst part is? Is that there is probably a lot of proof that they don't prove a lot of the things that like, you know, like the the thing that happened

the January 6th bullshit with Trump and all of the feds raiding that. The problem is a lot of the proof has been hidden by the federal government or fuckers who have all that shit in charge and they don't release it. The proof is there.

It's just you don't have access to it. You look it up and it's true. It's very convenient. And you're not allowed to actually prove people like Dito wrong. Dito true. It's very convenient. Well, that's a good impression. That's pretty good. So to be clear, this man can make any claims he wants about something being fraudulent or the election obviously being stolen or whatever else. And if I go, well, can I see some evidence? I am in the wrong because the evidence is being hidden by the government.

Yes. If you're the government, it's on you to prove that elections were fair. Okay. Why is that crazy? How would they prove that exactly? The bank can prove it. If I go to the bank and say, why do I only have $30 in my account? They go, well, here, you started with a hundred and these are who everybody you sent the money

to. I go, okay. Should the government give us a list of every single person who voted? Yes. Why do you say the government? It's all the states. It's all the states. State governments.

State governments. Yeah. They should give us something. Okay. I would like to see something other than nothing. So until the state gives you some proof of some sort which you can't define exactly what you want or how you want it delivered to you,

you're allowed to just make claims. And if I ask for evidence of the claims, I'm in the wrong. Yes, you are in the wrong. Wow. I would like to see something. Audit one of these machines and show me that it can't be hacked. Show me.

I'll tell you a scenario in which I could hack it. Prove to me that I can't do it. Okay. We're going to sue you. Okay. So guilty. Fraud then. Wow.

Well, why didn't Michael Lindell get to the bottom of it? He had all this time to uncover all this stuff. I don't know. He just fucked around. He's too busy selling pillows, I guess. He had his cyber. Did you see the cyber symposium? What's that?

He had this big thing in Vegas where he invited all these cybersecurity experts And he said, I have undeniable proof the election was stolen Here's the data And they went through it And the guy was like, if anyone can prove me wrong, they win a million dollars And one guy took it seriously He's like, well, I guess I'll look at it It kind of looks like somebody just opened a Word document

Typed a bunch of bullshit into it And then like converted it a bunch of times So he went Well I can prove this data is Like basically meaningless And Mike Lindell went no no no you don't win See this is what you guys do You find these crackpots

He took him to court Crackpot he hangs out with Trump He's been in the White House And then the guy took him to court The court said yeah this is clearly fake data You owe him a million bucks Well I'm just saying You've had all this time

You've had four fucking years To prove the greatest theft In the history of the American Government And instead you guys dicked around And you let the pillow guy be in charge of it. What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do about it? You and all of them tell Mike

Lindell, listen man. Hey, you've gotta stop upsetting Vito. When you're doing your cyber symposium he really gets bent out of shape for some reason. Does no one else have the money to look into this other than the pillow guy? Trump has the money and they're gonna send him to fucking prison cause he said it

Well that's not why but Why are they sending Trump to prison then Conspiracy Oh yeah What are you gonna do Do you agree with that Well you know when you Do you think that's fucked that they're sending a president to jail

I mean if you break the law What are you gonna do What was the law that he broke Well he convinced all are you gonna do what was the law that he broke well he convinced all those good america well it was a specific law that the electors the uh the conspiracy to uh the electors deny the election and uh like how did he what kind of conspiracy was that like well he was trying to get pence not sign it, right? Yeah, he called him a pussy. He said, don't sign that document. You're a pussy.

You're going to jail, actually. Well, it's not that he called him a pussy. It's that he gave the vice president an illegal order to not certify the results of the election. So you think that if Pence would have walked in there and said, you know what? I'm not signing this little document. You think they would have been like, well, I guess Trump's king then. Nothing we could do about it. Well, it would have interfered with the election process.

It would have created chaos. Okay. Look, I saw what Ashley Babbitt and her terrorist goons were up to in January. And thank God, our heroic Capitol policemen put a stop to it before it went too far. You really mean that, though. I know that you mean that.

No, I do a little bit. I'm glad it didn't get too out of hand. I know what you and your people are capable of. And thankfully, the rule of law prevailed. That one Asian congressman.

What do you think about George Floyd and what happened to him? It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy. I want $100 on that court case. All right, what do we got? I'm back with another bag-based product packaging problem. Another biggest problem. When you get the big bag of chips And it has a little notch in it

To tear it open But the notch is at the top of the bag Oriented vertically So if you're not careful about it And you tear it on the side You've got the whole fucking side of the bag In a way that is fucking impossible To reclose

Without having huge air ducts Don't get so excited. Because the other way that they devised a fix for this. Depends on the plastic, though. Depends on the material. Yeah, they devised a new type of chip bag where if you tear it, it just goes like whoop, and it tears like a tiny weird baby hand hole that you have to then rip the entire top off.

Yeah, I have that, off. Why do the bags only tear vertically? I don't know. Physics? Can they just put the bag in the machine the other way around? Somehow that costs more money or something. Why don't they put two notches so you can tear them both

and meet in the middle? Or one on the side, right? My girlfriend just chops them in half with scissors. Yeah, well, that's the way to do it. Which is... They should put a little knife. Just tape a little knife to the bag. Yeah.

It costs nothing at this point. Put a razor blade in every bag of chips. Okay, last one. Help. Damn it. Kids love it. Every bag comes with a fun toy. Gentlemen, I have never had a filet-o-fish, but you persuaded me to try one.

So here we go. This is my first bite. Oh, he's done. Live. First bite. I wonder how many times I've changed fish. Let's see. At least twice.

Hmm. Not bad. Not bad. Okay. That's all we can expect. Good job, Dick Thank you There's currently a thread Over on reddit.com

Slash biggest problem People are relaying Their filet of fish experiences Okay I invite all Biggest problem listeners To take the filet of fish challenge What's that?

You eat it And see if it's good or not Tell us if you like it or not That's what it is, okay I wanna know Are you a big filet-O-Fish guy? I Not like huge

But I'll get them And you know Sometimes It like comes in spurts I don't think I've ever had one I thought I'm a bit Phrasing is on that

Was totally inappropriate Spurts Comes in spurts Comes in spurts He's got He's got low It comes and goes How's that?

He's got low quality porn On the brain Exactly There's a lot of What's the last torrent? I'm a big McNugget guy I like McNuggets I don't know He's got low... It comes and goes. How's that? He's got low-quality porn on the brain. Exactly. There's a lot of... What's the last torrent? I'm a big McNugget guy. I like McNuggets. I don't know.

I just like... It'll be like a picture of a lady, and it'll be like, here's like 300 videos she made, and I just download them, and I watch one, and I don't watch the rest of them. You're just like hoarding them like a dragon? Honestly. Pornography? I don't know. I think the thrill of downloading it is more fun than actually watching it.

That's weird. Collecting. Okay, here we go. Get your super chats in. We'll do the weigh-in after the super chats. Yeah. We're going to be doing super chats all night. But let's get to it. You've got about 10 minutes to

lose. Oh, I know that reference. Dumb username. Oh, we got a 10 minutes to lose. I know that reference. Dumb username. Oh, we got a bunch of dumb username. Koof is here for 20. Congratulations on 100 episodes. Thanks for continuing the legacy of one of the best podcasts in the universe. Most importantly to you and everyone, with utmost sincerity,

thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Why do you got to say one of the best? Just say best. Don't say one of the best podcasts. Don't neg Koof say it's just extra words like to fucking cover your ass so like the other podcasts you listen to don't get upset that you said we're the best oh thanks honey that was one of the best i'm happy to be counted among the

best podcasts i don't need to be the best one. It's not. It's just words. So make them the good ones. Just lie. Just say Dick and Vito, you're gods among men. We love you. Dominic for $1.99. FKB bros, rise up. Dumb username for five.

Whenever Zerka speaks, I hear Jessie's girl playing in my head. Guess the reference by the end of the show and I'll send a $10 super chat. Easy. What? Easy. That's Boogie Nights. That's the actor is Alfred That's uh The actor is Alfred Molina

He's the crackhead The rich crackhead With the Asian kid Who's walking around Lighting off Kids lighting off fireworks And Jesse's girl He loves Jesse's girl

And he's just a Fucking nut job He's a fucking crackhead Wow You're right There you go I'm glad we have Sean here Send the ten bucks

Ten bucks He's based on a I think he's a He was a Lebanese Nightclub owner I think Who's a He was a Lebanese Nightclub owner I think Wow He was fucking super depraved

Like talk about like Trafficking women and shit Jesus Christ I'm trying to remember Was he fucking that little boy In that movie then? I mean probably But yeah

I hope not Huh Cara Froh Moderator of the Stars For $5 Happy 100th Thank you Cara Cougar Hughes for $2

I love you Happy 100 Thank you Rich for $. What is with the countdown? I feel like I'm about to watch Wacky Vito's Autism Hour. Okay. It's a fun countdown for you. Jesus. Busted Knuckle with a big

10. It's Eric. Joel, I see most 4044 for five. Happy 100. Between addiction, asteroids, and women, which poses the biggest problem in episode 100? I mean, it's always going to be women. Let's be real.

Pop quiz. Those were episode 100 problems. Was that the original episode? Oh, really? Yeah, those were big. Those problems. Ours were horrible. Not like, you know.

You're saying this episode's problems were bad? This episode's problems were bad. Yeah, but that's the show. It's that we bring in terrible problems and it's funny. No, they're not supposed to be all terrible. Like those are big deals that are up there right now that they listed. Well, we'll do it next week. We'll do it on 200.

Yeah, 200. We'll get good problems. Pop quiz for 1999. Tim Chang's. Verico for 1399 Canadian. Great show. Be proud. We are proud, Verico. $13.99 Canadian. Great show. Be proud. We are proud, Verico. Longbow, $40 for $5. Get a job,

Crimsel. This has been an ongoing debate in the Discord channel where apparently user Crimsel refuses to get a job. Good for him. Don't get a job. Don't get a job. Do what feels right, Crimsel. Gentleman Sausage for $5. Late and celebrated in June.

Dumb Username for five. New Celebrity Shame Pool. Guess the conservative who turns away from their preaching. My guess is at whatever podcast has been banging the guests. Diamond G for 555. 99 problems, but 100 ain't one. Koof is back for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves over blue bowls.

What's that? No idea. Pete Tong for two. Koof for two. Thanks for not killing yourselves. Did you know that Pete Townsend subscribed to a child porn site, Sean? They cleared him of any wrongdoing in that.

Oh, so Sean did know about it. Yeah. The government did? I mean, it was investigated. Yeah, so Sean did know about it. The government did? I mean, it was investigated. Yeah, but did you hear his reasons? Vito told this to me on the bonus episode. Was he doing research or something like that?

Research for his own abuse. That he was abused as a kid and he was writing a biography. I thought he was abused as a kid. Think about the experience more. He decided to buy child pornography. I don't know what he had exactly. Oh, decided to buy child pornography with his credit card. I don't know what he had exactly. He logged into a website with his credit card. Was it a child porn website?

Or was it like some... Oh, okay. It was like 100% a child porn website. No shit. Can you imagine anybody else getting cleared of that? Other than like a world famous rock star? Yeah, but only famous people are... but famous only famous people are you know famous people

are connected people there's no way they're right oh man well he came much after because Townsend was a while ago right it was at least

more than 10 years ago oh more yeah but Seville was older than that I thought he was no he was well oh no

he was rumored decades but like no no no but it all came I want to say like 2015 2012 2015 something like that I remember there's an interview with john lyden who's johnny rotten from the sex pistols yeah who just straight up said it like and every yeah and every

this was like in the late late 70s with jimmy no no jimmy seville and uh and like the the uh the interviewer was like whoa whoa whoa whoa let's not he's like oh i'll show he's like oh you go to the i'll show you proof he was just not backing down at all but he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not, he's like, oh, I'll show you, he's like, oh, I'll show you proof. He was just not backing down at all, but he was like, hey, no, no, we could disavow, like it was, he didn't give a fuck.

Yeah. Well, he was, but he was a fucking horrific fucking predator, dude. The thing is that they didn't find out until he was dead, so the only photos

they have of him are him with a big cigar going, ah! Like, they don't have the one photo of him looking him with a big cigar going, ah! Like they don't have the one photo of him looking sad and caught. Oh, yeah. You can't put it

as an article about the guy with him looking repentant. He was lauded for his humanitarian efforts and all that kind of stuff. Anyone who's a humanitarian is probably hiding something.

Something's going on. Yeah. What do you feel guilty about? Exactly. Britsman for two, thanks for 100 hysterical shows. You guys are the best. Thanks. Jbayhop45, please Maddox for

episode 100. You know, we thought about it, but somehow it didn't come together. Why don't you come in and do this show where you're not making any money? Red4Two says, I love Japan. What a great country. Jesus Christ, man. I'm not reading that. Hold the truth hostage for two.

Biggest problem in the universe. Can half-breed people speak the whole truth? Excellent question. Oh, that's hold the truth hostage. I love that guy. He came in on the call-in episode. Did he have any more race bombs like that? He's an African-American gentleman, so he's all about...

He can say whatever he wants. He can say whatever he wants, first of all. And he's all about getting the truth. And that's what we care about here on the show. Chris Schofield for five. When is... You should put black

in your name there, buddy. That would help. They should have a little, like, icon to represent your race, you know, when you get a pass. Chris Schofield for five. When is Zirka

coming in on as a guest on Biggest Problem? Not for a while. How do you think things with Zirka are now after the... You mean between me and Zerka? Yeah, between you and Zerka. Do you think it's fine?

Yeah, he doesn't care. He got a lot of fire. He got a lot of fire for being on your show. Well, from Reddit. Okay. Oh, you mean because of the whole pedophile thing that he said? Well, because he said, what's wrong with pedophiles? And then I don't really know where he was going with that.

Yeah, I couldn't. And then he was going with that Yeah I couldn't And then And then And then he went Oh look I just stopped You guys in your tracks And I'm like I don't I don't know

I mean I don't know If that means you won Some sort of Debate tactic Okay The locks for five Vito Giswaldenberg Raking in the super chat money

Just replaying the intro On YouTube And then tried to get me With a be fair to your audience Man Don't be like the juice nice try locks like oj yeah don't be like the juice i can't i can't make that joke anymore longbow 40 for two get a job crimsel you worthless bum p-tongue for two smooches warren for two you should have gotten maddox's sister. JJ for two. That tuba at the start had me scared that it was boogie. As the guest. Jazz fan, 22 for five.

Yes, Jean is here. This is the best episode of the universe. John Riffs for five. Let's hope this episode doesn't get deleted. Very good. Seth B for five. Congratulations on 100 episodes of Biggest Problem in the Universe. Cannot wait for the lawsuit remake.

It's coming. I think Eric July is going to sue us. Sueot wait for the lawsuit remake. It's coming. You think Eric Gillespie is going to sue us? Sue me? You keep telling people a pirate is comic. You got to pirate the fuck out of that comic.

Pirate the comic. Don't do it. Don't buy shitty art. Don't buy shitty art. That's your protest. Stealing it is your protest. That's your protest. Bad art?

You gots to steal it. That's a lot for it. This just seems like a lot for a comic book to me. Pirating isn't theft. It still exists in every possible way. That's very true. Cool for five.

Thank you, Sean, for coming in today and also for not killing yourself. Thank you for having me. Clap Trap Destroyer for five. Smooches for Sean is already being the best guest. We agree. Utah-based Armenian for two. Biggest problem, 99 episodes without an audio engineer.

That is a pretty big problem. Yeah. Should have brought that one in, honestly. I don't know. This one ain't going to sound any different. Yeah, that's the problem. Dick, you got a drum roll for me? Yeah, sure.

Because KingN641994 for $100 on the board. Ken, we get a congratulations and a call to prayer for your 100th episode. Please send Graf that pedo shirt with an anime style. It would suit him very well. Oh, really? 100 bucks. 100 bucks. The new price.

I've heard about this. 100 bucks. Imam Master Zain, what has happened with your trip to Greece to the Holy Land? Oh. There wasn't any Pokemon there. No Pokemon to the Holy Land! Oh. There wasn't any Pokemon there. No Pokemon in the Holy Land! What's been going on in Pokemon news lately? Uh...

I don't know, man. I've been keeping up on Lorkana, the... It's the Disney version of Pokemon. Disney has new Pokemon rip-off! Disney has Pokemon card game called Lorkana! GenCon convention right now. Disney has new Pokemon ripoff! Disney has Pokemon card game called Locana! Gen Con convention right now, fans line up for rare Mickey Mouse promo card! Oh no!

It's like a $200 Mickey Mouse card. $200 Mickey Mouse! $200 VMAX Mickey Mouse! It's plug-in to Kingdom Hearts game. Yes. Can have Disney all day, every day. Can play Disney versus Pokemon. Special crossover card game. My God.

Mickey, Mickey, Goofy, Mickey versus Pikachu. Oh, my. Other mouse, all mouse type Pokemon. Rotata. Rotata. Other Pikachu. Other Pikachu. Other Pikachu. Donald Duck.

Versailles Duck. Wow. This reminds me. I watched Detective Pokemon. Detective Pokemon. On plane. On plane. Amazing movie.

I did not even see for a second that Pikachu was Ryan Reynolds, father of a black guy, I think. Is he? Yes. It turned out Pikachu can talk to a little boy and can understand because Mewtwo make a special spell that put a man brain in a Pokemon.

Most amazing fucking twist I've ever seen in a movie more than the original sixthth Sense and Signs or all The most amazing twist I've ever seen in a Pokemon game In Hollywood history I said in the middle of night on plane flying over the ocean No fucking way This is Ryan Reynolds is the dad of this little Indian boy First of all, major fucking... Major, uh, distraction.

What is it called? Uh, plot twist? What? Plot twist, yes, but... The version? Fake out. Fake out. Oh, Red Herring.

Red Herring. Yes. No way did I ever think Ryan Reynolds, full white, would come out and say I'm your dad. Sorry. And I'm a cop in Pokemon Town. I have not seen in Pokemon Town. Five allows out of five for Detective Pikachu. 5,000 versions for Detective Pikachu.

Do that shit every episode? 72 versions. 72 out of 72. 72. Yeah, well, we don't do it anymore because people got bored of it. Oh, really? But for a hundred bucks. That's wild.

Detective Pikachu is apparently a great movie. Ryan Reynolds is... It turned out the reason why Pikachu could talk and the boy could understand him... Is he an Indian guy? No, he was Ryan Reynolds. The dad got put inside... His brain got put inside the Pikachu, like, for safekeeping. Okay. Because the dad got killed.

And that wasn't revealed until the end when Mewtwo revealed his big spell to cram everybody's brains inside to merge them with Pokemon, which was weird and furry. Yeah. Did Pikachu know he used to be a man? No, he got amnesia. Oh. This is a good movie. It was great. Okay.

Yeah. Detective Pikachu. There you go. I'll check it out. Rex Sexton for two. Nice jerry curl to Sean. That's my hair. Okay. Yeah. It's Attack of Pikachu. There you go. I'll check it out. Rex Saxton for two. Nice jerry curl to Sean. Oh, is my hair? 100.

My hair's getting long, huh? Is it? Is it something curly? Well, it's curly. It's looking good. Yeah. Oh, I got to keep an eye on the chat because we're going to miss. No, you know what?

It's your job if we miss any TBFs. Let's put it that way. Cy Chris. No, they have to put it in a super chat if I miss it. Yeah, you have to super chat if we miss it. Cy Chris for two. Awesome 100 episodes. Sean is greatest of all time. Longbow for put it in a super chat if I miss it. Yeah, you have to super chat if we miss it. Cy Chris for two awesome 100 episodes. Sean is greatest of all time.

Longbow for two. Get a job. Crim sell you. Welfare queen. Don't get a job. Kisses for Sean. Mr. Cool Ice is here for a big $50.

Thank you, Sean, for blessing our presence with your beauty. Holy shit. Smooches. Thank you, Mr. Cool Ice. Small math advisory for five. Vito, look up Remind Insoles. They will

walk you through what soles you need. $20 to $50 options. Eases any pain and aligns your bones. What size are your feet? 13. People could just send in stuff for you to wear. No, I don't want random fucking shoes. Although people have stopped sending wigs, which seems like a mistake. That was a good

bit. Yeah, that was a good bit. Send in more wigs. Come on. I don't find a thing going there. Actually. I'll take, I'll take out my, uh, this is my rocker. Ken wig. You could send in a regular like MacGyver wig. I think the MacGyver wig looked good. No, I think so. Uh, let's see. ASE presents for $10. Congratulations on 100. Sorry your store got DMCA'd by Eric July. The wicked Eric July. He even said that it wasn't a trademark violation, but it was just against Twitter's terms of service. Yeah, he's a guy who's a libertarian, anarcho-capitalist. He's all he is.

I'm libertarian. I'm libertarian. I'm an anarcho-capitalist. You're violating the terms of service So I'm gonna flag that It's not very libertarian Well, it's against Twitter's terms of service I'm like, I thought you were a big free speech guy

What are you talking about? That's what I got hit for, goddammit I look good in this wig Where are we at? Let's see Exavis for 10 He looks like Bruce Valanche I know, right? I'm gonna be on Hollywood Squares pretty soon.

Do you have a Bruce Valanche impression? I couldn't remember. What did that guy sound like? That's a great Bruce Valanche impression. Didn't he have kind of like a whiny voice? Yes. Extremely gay. Extremely whiny.

Oh, God. Oh, golly. Exhibits for 10. Happy 100th, dick. Go fuck yourself. Not. Oh, God. Oh, golly. Exhibits for 10. Happy 100th dick. Go fuck yourself. Not as Jewish, though. Yeah, I immediately go Jewish with it. Sean Smooch's best wishes on your ass farm yield.

Thank you. Great beans for $2.99. Australian, did Eric use empty boxes to fill his warehouse? See, I was mad that we don't get to watch the warehouse video because we had to talk about the false flagging You can watch it We got time We can stretch this out A little bit

Yeah you want to see Eric's Eric Chilai's warehouse Go to the Go to the Rippaverse YouTube You can find it easy Okay Rippaverse

YouTube Is it just Stacked with boxes No it's just Empty shelves And then he made a video Yelling at us For making Did you see He actually mentioned us In his video today Saying that we're No it's just empty shelves And then he made a video Yelling at us for making

Did you see he actually mentioned us in his video today Saying that we're fucking assholes For telling him that he broke DMCA Well he did Apparently he mentions us specifically He's gotta stop talking about you guys I don't know when he's gonna learn that No

Cause I'll just ramp I'm at like a two right now No I know I'll ramp it up big time I know Okay Warehouse 2.0 fly-through, top left. Literally the most recent. So Eric July, again, is a man who loves his warehouse.

We know this. He's made multiple videos about how great his warehouse is. I assumed at some point he would stop talking about the warehouse. Instead of stopping, he has made a luxurious drone footage video does he buy a warehouse he rent he's renting a warehouse like do you know that he didn't buy it i don't know if he bought it the point is that me and dick have been saying you only have three products a year right now You probably don't need an entire shipping warehouse You could use a fulfillment company

And save a lot of money As a man who continues to claim to be a Paragon of business it seems like You are throwing money away constantly Yeah but he has the money to Produce this loving drone footage Video Showing us the rip averse warehouse

It's not what was said. It's who said it is what set him off. He's like, it's, he's acting like it's table to farm produce. Like picking the cucumbers that end up on your salad. Here's my basis to doing accounting in my warehouse. All right. Somebody was like, I'm so glad for their transparency. And I'm like the transparency of how they're stacking the boxes in the warehouse? What are you talking about? Okay, here we go. It's got good music at least. Welcome to the fantastic Ripperverse warehouse. Now, do you notice anything peculiar about all these shelves? That's what strikes me.

All empty. It looks like he's in a Home Depot. Yeah, well. Yeah. These shelves aren't cheap either. Yeah. These are like $100,000, $200,000 to install. He's got like at least one forklift. I don't know if he's got two. Like at some point it might be the same one and some creative editing. Let's count the fuck-ups.

One. There's a lot of equipment in here. I just think if he made one comic That made money Fucking signing comics Yeah What a What a

Well he's gotta sign comics But does he need to Eight hours a day Does he need a giant section Of his warehouse For the comic signing corner He could probably do that In an office

Yeah does he need In the drone footage Well Okay let me get into position While I'm signing Oh Oh hello I didn't see you there. Yeah. Welcome to my, all the employees have been told to like, okay, take this box from this shelf

and put it up on this one. Cause it'll look cool. It's the Jurassic park video. Yeah. I've signed a lot of books. Uh, I've never stacked them in this way to sign them. Yeah, that's a set dresser on there. Sign, put it over here. You don't spread them out lovingly, evenly distanced to cover the entire face of it. Like salami on a tray. You don't make a charcuterie spread of your book. Okay.

Let's see here. Nice little 360 there. His wife pops out of the trash can and asks why her ad isn't in the... Why is my ad not in Ice Home 2? Eric! Eric! Is my jewelry ad in this one? Oh, great, bird. Seems like a big waste of money, I feel.

And then these guys, I guess, are taking books he already signed and then again laid out perfectly on a table and are putting them in boxes for later. Are they setting them up for him to sign? Why is there a video in the background of Eric? Is that the only thing you're allowed to watch in the warehouse? Is Eric's own videos? They have one channel.

Let me put on some entertainment for you. It's me ranting about how Marvel is woke. We'll just watch that for a while. When it runs out, the VCR kicks in and it rewinds like at the doctor's office. 1994. Let's see this.

Nice little slow-mo. That guy put a thing in a box. He's wearing gloves. Very professional Let's go around him again For no reason In case you didn't get it The first time

He's fucking piloting this thing Hey they got a whole Choreography here They need time To get everybody in position Here's forklift number one Yeah No there was a forklift

Earlier I think There was? Let's see Yeah real quick You can see it Yeah, real quick. You can see it. Yeah, see it against the... right there? Really? Yeah, is that a lift or is that a...

That one. Where? Right there, motherfucker, in the middle. Yeah, it's right there, in front of the orange, yeah. Oh my god, you're right! I don't know, but that one might go... it might go around a corner. It might have backed up and gone around the... yeah. How many forklifts does this motherfucker need?

It might just be the one. It might... I don't know if that one... Because it might have gone... turned around and gone out the other way. It might have had time and gone around the corner. How many forklifts is this motherfucker? It might just be the one. I don't know if that one... Because it might have turned around and gone out the other way. It might have had time to get around the corner. So he's paying somebody who's so forklift certified that they spun it around on command? On action and whipped it around the corner? It might be creative editing. What's in the...

What is this, like 1912? What was that? 1917? What was that movie with no cuts in it? Yeah Okay, what does he what does that forklift have? It's like I think I can't it has a bunch of that's all the charity money that Eric stole from Okay, he's got a pretty big shrink wrap thing. Yeah, he's got a shrink wrap palette on the front.

Now, is it possible that one for... Is it going around? What the fuck is glowing right there? Bro, that's a... What was it? That could be... It might be the same one. I'm not sure.

That's just like a fun... What is that? Silly light that you like to have on your... It's a jizz detector. It's like superheated metal. It's a jizz detector that employees like to jack off on the comics so much that they had to install this to make sure they filtered it out. I'm going to hope he only has one forklift for this time.

It's not a huge warehouse. That's a different color of both driver and materials. Was there a white guy driving it before? I think so. Or was there anybody over there? Was it empty? I can't really see from here. Right there. It does kind of look like a white guy driving it before? I think so. Or was there anybody over there? Was it empty? I can't really see from here. Right there.

It does kind of look like a white guy. That's a white guy, and that is a clear shrink wrap. A clear shrink wrap. Yeah, yeah. He's got two forklifts. And now what's the other guy got? Okay, keep your mind's eye on that forklift. Still there.

Still there. Still there. Oh, but it's getting in the corner. It's still moving. Now we're going to do a little do-si-do See that was a creative cut though There's no way it could have got down that corner that quickly Yeah I think you might be right

Let's see but there is Is there something blue on the front of it or not Yeah My bad One forklift One Is this a Hyundai forklift Yeah

Nice one One Hyundai forklift yeah, yeah Wow I guess nice one okay So here's the poster posters your empty space above and below if you want everyone to know that you are Winning the culture war put up a nice poster. Yeah That's a lot of it's a big fucking place man for the paying these people the 10,000 square feet Yeah, that seems like 80 employees Somebody suggested 150k a year

I think it would even be More than that I mean he's gotta be Having all his friends Doing it right His basis is his His finance Financial officer

Yeah his basis For his finance The official finance officer Yeah that makes sense Well maybe the guy's Got a background in finance Maybe he does And he's a bassist on the side

Who knows Well yeah Yeah He's clearly good at his job. But he does have more equipment. In addition to the forklift, he's got that big blue guy. Oh, man. I'm so hot watching this bitch wrap up fucking silverware or whatever she's doing over here. We've all got a station.

There's a scissor lift. Is that what that is? I think that's what you call it. Two scissor lifts? Oh shit you're right Oh my god And that's the question How often are you pulling boxes down

That you need that much fucking shit? Why'd you put the boxes all the way on the top? Yeah you could've just put them on a lower shelf You have all these empty shelves anyway Well it's cause they sold out all the stuff on the lower shelves And they needed the shot of the thing going up and down Come on it's gotta be dynamic I mean obviously they got everybody in to make this video

Knowing that the thing Nobody's this busy all day It can't be Okay now right here he's going to fly through these shelves These shelves are completely empty This shot coming up Pause like right Keep going

Keep going Wait wait that thing did it stop sean yeah it's back it's still back okay right here it's like dude there's nothing on this look at all that empty fucking space oh man yeah he only has and again once he sells the comics they're not on the shelf anymore so it's just the shelves are going to be empty then. He might have some back stock. Well, then there's Yaira. Yaira's coming out. Yaira. What the hell's that?

It's his next shitty comic. Oh, a whole different line. Yeah, a spin-off of that blonde girl. Oh, okay. And then the Slomico sisters are coming in with Alpha Corps. Yeah. Well, the Slomico sisters are doing Yaira. The Slomico sisters are coming in with Alpha Corps. Yeah. Well, the Slamico sisters are doing Yira. The Slamico sisters are doing Yida.

QAnon weirdo Chuck Dixon is doing Alpha Corps. Alpha Corps. He did create Bane at one point. We like Bane. Yeah. Actually, I never really liked Bane. Like, it's so fucking hard. It's so fucking hard to come up with any of this shit. Oh, I never really liked Bane. Like, it's so fucking hard to come up with any of this shit.

Oh, I'm fucking fingernail man. Oh, wow. Look at me. The original version of Bane was actually really boring. He's just like a blonde guy. I hated Nightfall. That's the one where Batman gets his back broken. Oh, yeah.

It's not interesting. I didn't read that shit. Good. Anyway, that is the warehouse for the Ripperverse. We're working on the super killer warehouse. Yeah? Yeah, it's going to be twice as big and twice as many empty shelves. Four times as many empty shelves and twice as many scissor lifts because my employees need to go up and down all fucking day long.

He only needs one lift. Why does he have multiple lifts? Anyway. Dickie for five. Says fish stick. Nah, fish brick and mortar sauce. Yes, it was good. Yeah, I like that fully.

A fish pop quiz for two. Fitness tip, no pain, no gain. Jim Satala for 10. Y'all need to go all in on the bit. Open a pet-o grooming business. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's good. That is good.

No pain. Does Nike have a shirt that's, or No Fear have a shirt that says calories in, calories out? I don't think so. That would be a good one. Dumb username for five. Vito, stop telling me how to lose weight. I know how to lose weight. Also, Vito, why am I not losing weight?

Are you confused why you're not losing weight? I think I am losing weight. We lost four pounds in the last one. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, we got to remember the figures. If anybody in chat remembers the figures from the last weigh-in, get ready to tell me then.

I don't remember any of that. You should have a little thing on the site that, like, writes down what the weigh-ins were. Dennis Dillwaite for five. Five Dara for Sean Cameo. Thank you. Utah-based Armenian for two. Big problem. Calories in, calories out. We've trashed 10. Was great catching V Sean Cameo. Thank you. Utah-based Armenian for two. Big problem.

Calories in, calories out. We've trashed 10. Was great catching Vito on Nick's show yesterday. Must have been refreshing. Not to be the most neurotic person on stream for once. Lofty Pixels is insane. Something is wrong with that boy. Yeah, he is.

I watched that stream. It was bizarre. Wait, who? Lofty Pixels. This guy. Weird kid. He threw a big fit when I made fun of him last stream He got off stream and like angrily edited A video of me together

I'll show you how mad Dick is Last night on Nick's stream He quit because he said we were all gaslighting him And we're like no we just think you're fucking crazy And then he came back And it was kind of like a weird Like Lofty calm down. It's okay You're just fucking nuts. It was a good show. He asked destiny. He's like hey destiny. Hey, buddy

Do you want to stream with me right now? I'm on Nick Rikita stream, but I'll hop off you want stream. Yeah, I'm not making fun of him But he's out some fun. Yeah, so what that's cringe that I asked to get on podcast Well, I asked Elon Musk to follow me that didn't work You tried to get him to list of the podcast David Gomez for Elon Musk to follow me That didn't work You tried to get him To listen to the podcast David Gomez for 10 Biggest problem in the universe

Is perpetually online F slurs on the Call in show Forgetting it's a comedy show And just calling in To call out Vito On some social political issue He mentioned three months ago

TBF Call in show Number three Now available On your podcast feeds To everyone who's been complaining We have the audio version Available for you now Berserker Bauer. We have the audio version available for you now.

Berserker Bauer for two. What the fuck is wrong with you celebrating a tie? Oh, shut up. I think it's, I like the symmetry of it. Dick, can I get a- There's nothing symmetrical about 107 or- No. Yeah.

Can I get a little drum roll, Dick? Because Psychonautical 89 for $100. Happy 100 From Lawnmower Man You bet I'm sending a hundred smackaroos For Shajan It was awesome seeing you all at Philly For another hundred, hundred, hundred

Episodes, go fuck yourself Thank you You guys are making money tonight Yeah, well we'll take you out for dinner sometime Moogieamogie for five. Glad to see Sean make it on. Vito, good job last night. Caught a bit of it. Happy hundred. Thank you, Moogie. Dot Executables is here. Five

dollars. I some sucks ass. I've been reading comics for 20 years. I love that term. Sucks ass. How is it? Sucks ass. This is one of the worst. Sucks. Overhyped garbage comics. I read it when it came out. Ask for your money back.

And if he doesn't give you your money back, charge it back. I'm not satisfied. There's no story in this comic. I was sold a story with an illustration, and there's no story. I demand my fucking money back. Well, you know, chargebacks, he had a whole thing with PayPal, where he's like, why is PayPal holding onto my money? They're politically biased against me.

And I'm like, no, they have a policy that if you do pre-orders, you have to deliver the item within 20 days or they hold the money. Yeah. Banking has a lot of regulations. Well, specifically because of charge bags because otherwise, if you don't deliver the comic, PayPal has to refund all those

people. CC for five. Thank you, Dick, Sean, and Vito. Thank you for giving this show a second life. Happy 100. Well, thank you, CC. Rex Sexton for five. Thank you, Dick, Sean, and Vito. Thank you for giving this show a second life. Happy 100. Well, thank you, CC. Rex Sexton for five. For my birthday, my girlfriend drove me 12 hours round trip to Santa Fe, gave me a tray of snacks, whiskey, and also Roadhead while I yelled left and right.

That's pretty good. John Riff for five. Silver lining. Ice sub number two means ISOM number two edited edition coming soon alright the discord

the edited edition has been going around a complete new take on the plot events of ISOM I forget who created did John create that? John Rips did

yeah John's been putting that together enjoy Lane Steel for two vote up the YouTube generation Lonely Wolf Studios for a big

ten. Rules for thee, not for me. Yellow Flash, who Eric is friends with, sent a pirated movie version of the Barbie movie to EVS and everyone in that group. They don't care about piracy, only their bottom line. Really? Yellow Flash,

the fat retard who's obsessed with pedophiles, I think because he might be a pedophile. He might be. I haven't heard him deny it. I mean, who else would be so obsessed with pedophiles other than a pedophile? It is true.

They don't like other pedophiles catching their shine. Exactly. I'm not in competition with other pedophiles. I don't like them, but I'm not obsessed with them. Right. I think a guy who won't show his face on stream, you go, what's he got to hide? Pedophilia. Maybe that we would cross-reference it with the sex offender database.

Exactly. Some little kid might look over someone's shoulder in the background and see him and go, that's the guy that molested me. Yeah, exactly. Call the cops. Can't trust that. So he's a pirater too, huh? And he's pirating and they're all pirating and they're all doing their reviews based on pirated

material. And they don't care about their buddy's false flagging. Right, but their buddy's like, you can't steal my stuff. Well, it's all, you know, they're You pat my back, I'll watch you pat that little kid's back. Oh boy. That's their motto. Oh.

You pat my back. I'll watch you pat that little kid's back. Oh boy their motto Come ears strikes again old cum brain Full of cum a lot of come on fucking listen cuz he's got so much cum in both of his ears yellow flash You and that guy did not hit it off fucking cum brain your nose guy. Every stream he's on, he makes the same joke. Oh, they should go to Canada. Anybody that he does. Yeah, because you can do suicide in Canada. So every fucking person that he doesn't.

They should go to Canada. Yeah. You gotta have. I would like these guys more if they were actually funny. I think that's what offends me the most is the destruction of humor. Bad art. Yeah, bad art. Darbus for 12 says, Sean is so cool.

Wow. Mr. Abstruse. Let me do a poll. Wait, do you think it's possible? Has Yellow Flash denied that he's a pedophile? Yes or no? Let me do a... Why do I feel like this is just gonna start a problem?

Has Yellow Flash denied that he's a PDF I'm gonna say, yeah PDF Yes or no Yes, uh, yeah, yes or no Okay, there you go

This is Dick's poll If he hasn't denied it, then It's a reasonable question We're just asking questions, folks That's all we can do here Mr. Abstruse for 10 Can I get a big shout out to my buddy Crimsel? Please berate him publicly to pressure him into getting a job

And stop being a bum Hi, Sean Crimsel, get a job Longbow40 for 2 Get a job, Crimsel Sm bum. Hi, Sean. Crimson. Get a job. Long bow. 40 for two. Get a job. Crimson smooches.

Sean antagonist for two. You are right. Vito. Those SIG holders are gay as fuck. What SIG holders was I talking about? I don't know. You'd have to remind ones. Yeah. Maybe plastic ones or whatever.

Probably one wet bandit for five. Har, har, har. Sean in the house. Antagonist for two says you were right. Dumbit for five har har har sean in the house antagonist for two says you were right dumb username for five dick all the yakuza games you can skip the cut scenes if you avoid the main missions the game is just wandering shinjuku fighting and drinking you would maybe like those yakuza games yeah i don't want to have to skip the cut scenes though because i feel like i'm

missing something like it should just i can read it and then press a button to have to skip the cutscenes, though. Because then I feel like I'm missing something. Like, it should just skip automatically. I like the ones where I can read it and then press a button to go to the next paragraph. You should have to press a button to listen to the story. Sure. Like, it should give you, like, press X now to listen to some story. No. No thanks. Derpify for 10.

Biggest problem in the universe is Dr. Kevin's melanotan-2 misinformation. Safe peptide promoting melanin production to prevent sunburn plus melanoma. Requires UV exposure to tan. Okay, you guys weren't here for the call-in episode. Yeah. There is a drug called melanotan. I don't know if it was named ironically

that can turn Caucasian people into black people by darkening their skin pigment. And as it says, promoting melanin production, which will help prevent sunburn and melanoma side effects are rock hard erections and fat loss promotion. That's not true, though, is it? It darkens your skin. It's a way that people are tanning without having to tan is that you. But it's not real The drug? It's real

How is it darkening There's no drug that darkens your skin It's promoting a melanin production apparently I think this is a Instagram ad Dr. Kevin He's a nuclear physicist He knows nothing about

Absolutely nothing about this And from the sound of it I trust his nuclear credentials less Well we'll see That's the first way you catch these motherfuckers too It's like oh hey here's Dr. blah blah blah He's a fucking chiropractor You want to talk about it

It's like you fucking piece of shit I hate that fucking shit. Alex Jones is reddening medicine, too. Is he aware of that? Let's see this. Melanotan is what it's called. Yeah, you found it. WebMD is a lemon.

Fake tan and melatonin injections. Why did you look up melanotan hoax? That's a stupid thing to look up. It's a real thing, see? Why is melanotan and why is it so dangerous? Okay, why is it dangerous? Instagram. Inhaling tanning nails.

Injectables and illegal fake tan. The truth about melanotan. The dangerous ingredient being promoted online. Man's tanning an injection disaster. Doctors are calling me an idiot. A shocking investigation has revealed dozens of social media influencers are promoting dangerous tanning products containing a banned ingredient.

Melanotan-2, an artificial hormone Can increase the production of melanin The pigment that darkens skin It sounds dangerous to me I don't know You could get shot by a cop I know, right? Why would you do that? The unlicensed drug is dangerous

You gotta go fucking Sammy Sosa, dude Come on, this isn't real That might be a different Scroll down more. Is that the actual picture? No, I'm sure that's a fucking advertiser. I think it's an advertiser. Here's what was provided for it.

Because, you know, it's like, obviously. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. Live from Leeds. Find more pictures. I don't need words. How about that?

These are all just stock photos. Yeah, right. Right. Says the only safe tan is fake tan. That's like spray tan or something. Yeah. If you already did it, you should

stop. Apparently you can get cancer from it. Maybe I'll do it. I think it is real. I think it's a banned ingredient. Yeah, it probably has side effects that aren't worth it. I mean, it's funny think it is real. I think it's a banned ingredient. Yeah, it probably has side effects that aren't worth it. It's funny that it's called Melanotan because you don't have to tan. You can just take the drug.

That's not real. Apparently it is! Scroll down. Where are we at? There we are. There, there. Miles Wilson for five. Sean Problem, Diet Coke, and Aspartame Haters. Yeah, that's probably.

I've heard you complain about Aspartame Haters before. I, you know, I don't stay up at night thinking about it, but. That's true. Okay. That's good. Leo for five. Happy 100 Kings. Thank you, Leo.

Panic Pun for five. Biggest problem right now are Disney adults. Yeah, true. Oh, my God. My ex-girlfriend is a Disney adult. My ex-girlfriend has just explained to me this insane scheme where you can buy Disney points to stay at the resorts. Like, if you stay at the resorts, you earn these points. But then there's an underground stock market of people bargaining off their points.

And she goes, I just spent $50,000 on 2 million Disney points, but then I can resell the Disney points. And I'm like, oh my God, just by... Where's the FTC? It's a fucking unlicensed... It really is. It really is an unlicensed security. What the fuck? Well, I think she

lowered her bid. I think she ended up not buying as many. But she was literally like, I'm going to buy $50,000 of Disney points. This is a new religion for you. It's a good one. David Gomez for two. Hearing Zerka's name gives me PTSD. I understand.

Matt Kors for $9.99. Biggest problem in the universe is Vito not weighing in yet. It's coming. It's coming. The pizzas are coming. Wet band for two. The pizzas are coming. Wet band for two.

You will consume the Troon Vito I have and I will Carafro for five Biggest problem is Creator Kia Senat Creating a giant ride In NYC

I don't know if you saw That footage Oh yeah I did kind of see it Some youth in New York Stampeding through the streets Oh McKendie's for ten

Happy 100 boys Best podcast in the universe Smooches for Sean Thank you Utah based Armenia for two Literal biggest problem Lizzo Steve for two. Literal biggest problem, Lizzo. Steve for two.

Biggest problem. No, I support Lizzo now. If you don't support Lizzo, then... Because she's getting accused of getting me-tued. You know what? I actually like Lizzo. She's getting me-tued? Yeah, she's getting me-tued by a less fatter woman.

A fat woman almost got as fat as her, so Lizzo had to out-fat her. Her backup dancers are saying she forced them to go to the strip club And touch performers Or something Who cares And she body shamed them I think Lizzo's doing a bit Cause I saw her play that flute well

And her music is great So I think the whole fat thing I think she's an actual musician for sure. Yeah. It's like Lady Gaga. She used to be really just a normal, boring girl. And she realized if you dress up like a freak and do freaky shit, you make way more money in the music industry. It's showbiz.

I don't like any of her music, though. I don't know any of her music. And she's a shitty actress. Eh. Okay. She's going to be in that Joker movie. I know. Everybody's pissed.

It's just awful. Because the Joker movie is so good Why would you Make a Lady Gaga sequel Why would you do this Why did You guys could have just Given us the one thing That we liked

You didn't have to ruin it Steve for two Biggest problem is Only fans Simp losers Dickington Post for five Coming soon At the URL

Petto Community For all your PettoCommunity needs. Congrats on 100 episodes. Did you register URLs? Is that what you're saying? Modiggity for five, pull up and shave Arnita Sarkeesian. Oh, my God. FellowGods for five, when the SJWs came after gamers, the gamers retaliated by putting a cartoon character in the White House.

Yeah, that went well. Dumb Username for 10, video games were the last form of media where you could have hot girls wandering around being nice without it being porn it was a way to escape all this culture warcraft crap uh hashtag r.i.p tifa's breasts you got to keep the sexy women in video games jlo for five challenge for sean and dax say some couldn't change that on the fucking fly? Oh, fuck. You know he's just gonna read whatever's in front of him.

Go fuck yourself, San Diego. Hey, everybody. It's... Maddox came up with a good problem for episode 100. What was it? Asteroids.

Asteroids. Yeah. Yeah. It was funny. I don't know There were times Where I thought the guy Was actually pretty funny

Yeah He could construct a joke When he You know It wasn't always It wasn't always in writing I mean That going back to the

The kids There's something there He had something That people wanted I thought he was funny I thought he was funny And then His fake stories were great

Yeah He just got Put a lot of into him. He's got you know He's got fucking problems. I think that video where he did cognitive tests for kids pretty good You were so excited about that I want him to make more videos I'm sad that he tried to be a banana failed failed at it, and now he's just nothing. There's nothing left. You know what, though? He was great as a banana. I know. It's just Twitch. It's better than nothing.

It's for TikTok. I tried to tell someone to go into his chat, because I'm banned from all his chats for some reason, and I said, tell him to make... Can't imagine why. Whatever. I know why. Okay? But I said, tell him to make these into TikToks. Make stupid videos as a banana.

Upload them to TikTok, and it might catch on there. And then he didn't fucking do it. You know how many people have tried to make him make money? Yeah, I know. Yeah. I don't know. What do you do? James Gardner.

You and Rucka come to mind, frankly. He made some money. By accident. By accident. Yeah, he definitely made the least amount he possibly could. Based on the number of people who like stuff. I have a big announcement for the show. I am starting my own podcasting network.

So we'll see how that goes. Speaking of all the big money we're about to make, James Gardner for 1999. Best show that's one of the only things that's not a problem in any universe. Fuck anyone that can't take a joke. Take the warehouse. Take the warehouse.

Take my warehouse, please. For five, if you're going to offer one million to be proven wrong, you have TBF. Sure, you are right. Damn it. Hit me with a refresh. Let's see how my poll is doing.

Sure, you are right. Damn it. Hit me with a refresh. Let's see how my poll is doing. Has Yellow Flash denied that he is a pedo? Just click on it and it'll expand. End poll. Oh, okay. Where did it go?

Well, you ended it. It doesn't show you? Well, it was 84% no. It was 84% no. Okay, well, he's not kidding. Oh, there it is. There it is. 194 votes.

Yes. Denied. Denied that he's a pet owner. 84% says. Okay, well, he's not. Oh, there it is. There it is. 194 votes. Yes. Denied. Denied that he's a pet owner. 84% says no, so. So he should deny it. Wait, will the 15% know that he has denied it? I guess. Oh, okay.

I don't know. Well, what are you going to do? Okay, where is. We'll blast through these. You're going to have to go down a while. Jesus. It's the down a while. Jesus. It's the 100th episode. Yeah.

You guys got to find a way to combine your super chats. Go up past J-Lo. James Garter for five. Vito killed it on Nick last night. TBF, I mean, Rakeda, not Fuentes. Michael winning for five. Free money. Claptrap to destroyer.

Eat yogurt for five. Thank you. D to destroyer eat Yogurt for five dumb username For 10 Sean got the reference here's 10 Australian time ago It took you a while to get that one Thank you he put his money where his mouth was read 2010 for five happy hundredth episode love the show keep It going we will Matt white for 10 guests request Justin

Wang pineapple man For five happy hundred shout out to bag Of Schmidt and also my parents watching. Oh, glad to see Sean on the show too. Congrats fellas. Glenn J for 10. Thank you. Coup for two edit best podcast universe. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Drunk at atheist studio for five happy 100 dudes. Gang, gang, gang, gang. Ooh ooh ice cream so good ooh ice cream so good gang gang gang gang can I get a drum roll dick

and this is coming from the heart Elliot Coward $100 to be fair I get it I suck Hawks you got it $100 for that we had to do it at some point

and Elliot made it happen for all you people. Thank you, Elliot. Thanks, Elliot. The Monkey Bros for 10. Call to prayer idea. Southern Baptist halo preaching. Got to get those gamers in there. Jay Thompson for five.

Going through old episodes at episode seven. What happened to the Sean? I feel like he doesn't exist. And what did you do to the guy from the first two episodes? What a strange old episode. I think he's talking about Johnny, the audio engineer. Wait, was he talking about, he's talking about the old show, right? I don't know. Going through old episodes at episode seven.

Or old episodes of this run of the show. I don't know. I think he's talking, because the first two episodes, we had Johnny, the audio engineer, right? Oh, did you? He was? Maybe he was. I don't know. I forget. Yeah, it was me, you, and then who was, it was audio engineer right? Oh did you? He was? Maybe he was I don't know I forget Yeah it was me you and then who was

it was Johnny right? That's his name? Maybe it was It wasn't me so yeah. Yeah on this show I just don't remember. Yeah the first cause it was your show Dick's show. Yeah for three. You brought me in and you brought him in. Yeah. And then he died. He did die. Yeah He died. We killed him. Again? Yeah. No he was just too busy to do

the show. We offered to let him do the show, but he was just too busy. R.I.P. Well, they fucking studio fixed that. Jimbo for 20. Big fat 20 for my gay internet dads. We're a fucked up family, but we're all we've got. How true is that? World round Geohound for five.

Love you dorks is the best live show on YouTube, hands down. My crazy MAGA sister asked me who's this awful dick guy without ever mentioning you. She wants to get fucked. That's what she's right in. Who's this asshole? Who's this guy? I fucking hate him. I hate hearing his voice. Where does he live? Everybody loves dick.

Darius Ryan Covey is for five. Eric's probably going to rent an airplane hanger once his spin-offs come out. Might as well. Joe Cole. Yaira. Yair well. Joe, cool. Yaira. Yaira. Yaira. Everyone's fucking blowing their cum out of their dicks thinking about reading Yaira. Who crashed into

Isam in the air and they had a disagreement and then she flew away. How much can I pay for this fucking comic? $45? $55? $100? Sean's read Isam. That blonde lady crashed into Isom. I was just confused. Like, why people were just kind of coming in and out of the setup.

Well, doesn't it make sense that based on your confusion, there should be an entire spinoff comic series to explain the one blonde lady. If it clears that up, then I'm fine with it. Let's do it. It's a prequel, actually. Go to the forklift auction. Joe Cool for five. If Vito loses the weight loss contest He should have to grow his hair out for six months

Oh you're not gonna wanna see that I'm gonna pirate the fuck out of Yaira too Don't think the pirating ends at Isom You pirate all the rip averse Pirate every fucking thing in the You're moving from two to three If you can copy a poster Do it Illegally

Copy what Do what feels right people Entertainment for five If you want to know about Melanotan Google Nuka Zeus No Utah based Armenian for five

Melanotan side effects include Reduced test scores Lack of buoyancy Heightened sensitivity to disrespect And sudden inability to breathe jesus christ breathe oh my oh my god to brief derpa five for ten that's a well-constructed joke that's a very well constructed you gotta give it up i mean those are some good side effects derpa five or ten says mel are no tan Vito And it's real

I've taken it Been around ages As a pasty white guy Being able to pass out on the beach Drunk in the holiday sun And wake up being better looking Is a superpower It doesn't work

Apparently it does No I mean It doesn't I trust nuclear physicist Dr. Kevin P. Hickerson Hello More than I trust That shit that you're taking

Is not doing what you think it's doing. You're just passing out drunk on the beach. Yeah. You're just trying to take, you who can naturally tan because your people have resistance to the sun. Okay, we have a struggle, the white man. You need to respect that struggle. Buying scams and bullshit. Yeah, well, we're idiots.

I know, everyone fucking hates me because my response To everything is Well that doesn't work Obviously Furious TV for five Smash the like button For Dick and Vito Finally providing us With the divine humor justice We needed to see

Over those fake Indie comic scammers Scammers Gentleman Sausage Says Vito Don't dead name people Yeah What's that?

That's when you use The trans person's former name. Oh, oh, oh. And it drives them into an insane suicidal rage when you do that. Because you called him another name? Yeah. I have no idea what you're talking about. Jack Rockstar for $19.99.

I'm glad that after 100 episodes, the biggest problem remains yellow dry erase markers. And David Gomez for $2. The shaving Eric July bit is hilarious We gotta weigh in Dick Sean do you want to proctor this exam Vito why don't you video it Who knows what the amounts are In chat Tell me the amounts

Tell me what Vito started at And what he has to hit I think you started at what 310.4 I thought it was 310.4 that's not how he's gotta squeeze some of that piss out he took his shoes off to this time well yeah I mean you know you probably should 310.8. I have it on my phone hold on hold on Nope here comes a dog. Oh hi, Matt. I'm Maddie come here. It was three eight hundred pounds wasn't eight hundred pounds Let me see if I can find

my video library all photos hi, Maddie All photos Hi Maddie Uh Shared Videos Here we go Nobody remembers It wasn't 311

It had a point It had a decimal Does that say kilograms? Yeah the dog's too fat too The metric system can be funny Uh Is this the No

Let's see here. He took off his underwear, too. Oh, I can... Hold on. I can move it. I can come over there and proctor. Matty's going to put a paw on it. Matty, get out of here. Get out of here.

Okay, I'm taking the video now. Matty, go away. Matty, come here. Did I go up? Did nothing happen? What's it at? Maddy go away. Maddy come here. Oh What were you were lower before You're not even fucking close 309.8 and you took all your clothes off Is it 309.8 again? Okay do one more I'll give you Maddie get out of here What is it? 308.6. What was I before?

You started at 311. Well, it's not going very well. No. What is the Ozempic for then? I don't know. Ozempic, is that the... You inject yourself with this miracle weight loss drug. Is that what Chris the Kiwi's doing? No, he's on testosterone.

No, I thought he was on something else, though, too. Wasn't he talking about Ozempic? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. He lost a ton of weight. I love how, like, no fucking vaccines, no fucking nothing. Like, he's just... So apparently I gained a pound.

I thought I was doing really good How did you do this? I don't know Well, I mean, that's good It's good information to know You better just drink that olive oil and call it a night You better not go home and You know

I thought you were gonna nail it Well, I have to remix the Ozempic So I didn't take it for like the last Like week or two Okay but how's your eating been compared to Normal You know what I think the problem has been Is that I've been drinking a lot of my calories

Cause it's been so hot But I just bought a bunch of water bottles I was drinking like a bunch of lemonade and shit Oh Yeah that'll Why don't you get crystal light? Well maybe I'll try the crystal light You gotta Man

Why don't you try the crystal meth? You gotta do something drastic I'll get some results And dangerous at this point Well cause I'm supposed to be down to Now I gotta lose what? Like uh Like 12 pounds

Uh Okay wait Move it around Put that scale In my bedroom And do it again Now I gotta lose what? Like 12 pounds? Okay, wait. Move it around. Put that scale in my bedroom and do it again. Okay. I'm getting notes from... I'm getting notes that something is weird with the scale on different floors. But that's the same one we used last time. The same scale in the same place?

Same spot, yeah. Do it on the wood floor in my bedroom just to make sure. I can't... It should be to make sure. I can't. It should be consistent at least. I can't believe this. Those digital scales are weird when they, you know, where you put your feet sometimes. This is horrible, Sean.

This is the worst thing that's ever. Especially because when you're three bills, you'd think of, you know, dropping, you know, 10, 12. Oh, no. It went up. It went up on a different. Well, I'm at a loss. Somebody's got to be.

Vito. Vito, isn't there? I think I've learned some lessons, you know? So I got to plan. Isn't there something you can do about this? I got a plan moving forward. Where do you have to get to? He's got to lose 30 pounds in six months.

How many more months is left? And he started at 310.4. I thought it was 311. Okay. 311.4? I don't remember Maybe And then the last

And then the last time You lost only by A pound Yeah So I thought it was 306.4 last time I guess I don't know how I gained it

So you were supposed to be 301 Even Yeah This time That would have been cool Or 300.9 That would have been great

I really fucked that up. Is this the heaviest you've ever been? Yes. So, well, we're gonna keep it up. I got the exercise bike going. I've been exercising every day. Okay. Good.

I think I gotta drink more water. I think that's what it's gonna come down to. Yeah, you gotta get rid of those liquids. Yeah. No, I'm going to keep the house stocked with bottles of water. Keep them chilled. Okay. Yeah.

Well, you know, hey, at least we're getting stuff done. We're trying, right? Yeah. Okay. So totally you're down. It sucks that I've been, you know, taking that drug and throwing up all the time. It doesn't really amount to anything. But, oh well.

Well, people put on weight during summer sometimes. Maybe it's a summer thing. It's not. It's that classic summer weight. Summer weight, yeah. Okay, well, thanks for listening, everyone. If you want to. I feel like I really fucked up this bit.

I feel like the bit is just depressing now. It's like, oh, this will be fun and encouraging. Now, well, you know what? No, I've also been lifting a little bit. So maybe I put on some muscle. Oh. What have you been lifting? I've been doing, you know.

Lemonade. I don't know. I've been doing 20, 30 curls a day. Curls. Okay. Doing behind the back, behind the back, tricep extensions, tricep extensions. What about some legs? That's what I can do with the dumbbells. No, I gotta get a, I gotta get a gym membership so I can do the legs. What about just squats and you're just with no weights? It's hard for a fat guy to do squats. That's true. Yeah. What about walking around? I mean we talked about the walking I gotta get the insides

Oh yeah okay But I'll get a gym membership Maybe I put on Maybe I put on some A little muscle It's all muscle really You got four months To lose

I mean now you're Now you gotta go for broke The whole strike system is stupid Okay You got a place to hang a heavy bag? Maybe we'll just get rid of the strikes I mean, now you're... Now you gotta go for broke. The whole strike system is stupid. Okay. You got a place to hang a heavy bag? Maybe we'll just get rid of the strikes. I just think I gotta... I just gotta get in a rhythm.

I swear to God. Go fucking... Just hit the heavy bag. So you wanna not have strikes and then you're gonna lose 20 pounds in two months at the end? Yeah. All right.

You got a long way to go here, buddy. You're gonna have to start... 20 pounds in two months? the end Yeah Alright You got a long way to go here buddy You're gonna have to start 20 pounds in two months I can do it No you gotta lose Now It can be done We don't know if you can do it

I can do it You gotta talk to some Skinny girls Yeah Figure out what they're doing Stick your finger down your throat Yeah Oh I think if I keep doing the I think if I keep doing the cardio,

I'm going to eat fish. I got some salmon yesterday. That was good. Okay, good, good, good. I got to get back on the fish diet. Cannot fillet a fish. My goal was, I think it was 30 pounds, so it was 280.4. Maybe 281. I don't know what it was.

Well, even if it takes me a little longer to get there, I think I'm on my way. You gotta lose 28 pounds in four months. Alright. That's 6.5 pounds a month. I can do that. I can do that. I think now that I got everything set up, there was a lot of stress at first.

I was dealing with a lot of comic book stuff, but now I have some free time. Okay. I can take it more seriously You gotta do 10 push-ups for every tweet Okay So if you do a tweet You gotta do 10 push-ups Fair enough

Like that I think as long as we keep going Eventually it's gonna happen Okay Okay I still believe that you can do this It went up what? What were we at before?

306.4 That's the lowest It went up two pounds It went up two before? 306.4. That's the lowest. It went up two pounds. I mean, that's you know, that can happen day to day. Yeah, it can fluctuate. Fuck. What did I eat today? I ate two filet of fish today. Is that hat like

lead shielded? Yeah, do you have anything in that hat? I took the hat off when I weighed it. Like a rabbit? One of those Flemish giant rabbits. That's a lot. No, it's not. It's like a thousand calories. I think next month you're going to be blown away.

Alright. We're going to cut so hard. Okay. I think this was just an off day. I think I'm just retaining water weight. Okay. A couple pounds could be a million reasons. You got 123 days. I think this was just an off day. I think I'm just retaining water weight. Okay. A couple pounds could be a million reasons.

Yes. You got 123 days and 11 hours, 23 minutes, and 35 seconds to lose 26 pounds. I think it's going to happen. All right. Honestly, you know what I'm doing right now? 620 bucks on the line. I'm rope-a-doping the audience. They're going to start pouring the donations in going, he can't possibly lose it.

At the last minute. Remind me so much of Ali. They leave messages on here. This guy gave a hundred bucks. Hey, Vito, hold on to this for me. I need it back in six months. Well, guys, right now there's no better time to put some dollars on the ponies. Yeah. You can't lose at this point.

So go to veto loses dot. What is it that? Calm. I feel like this is going to be a yearly. Why don't you work in a heavy bag? Like Sean says, where am I going to hang a heavy bag? Well, I don't know if you have a house or an apartment or a place you can I don't really have a doorway for it.

Go to a bus stop and find a fat lady. Right. Start hitting her. And by the time she turns around, your workout will be over. I'm going to pick up the amount of cardio. I've been doing 30 minutes of cardio a day. I'll step it up to an hour. Well, you know.

Well, and the lifting. Lifting is a good idea, too. Get rid of one lemonade. Yeah. Every day. No, I've been drinking too many. Lemonade Yeah No I've been Stump that out I've been drinking too many I get like

I get I've been getting I think cause I went off The Ozempic Cause I have to mix it again And it's complex I think that gave me like A bunch of cravings

For like fucking lemonade And bullshit And I probably put a bunch Of weight on cause of that Go to Home Depot Next time you gotta do The Ozempic Go to Home Depot

Pick up one of those guys Bring him back Have him do it have him do it. Have him mix it up for me. Just like concrete. Quick crete. I just have to find, I have like a bunch of different like bookmarks about how to mix it because I have like different peptide amounts and different amounts of water.

And if I mix it wrong, it'll kill me. This sounds so, so bogus. Whatever you're fucking doing. This sounds worse than Keffel's. It's going to be great. Real quick, do you want to check if there's any last minute super chats? Yeah, there are. Sean, you got anything to plug?

No. Thanks for having me. Congratulations on 100. Thanks for coming by, man. It was fun. We appreciate it. Sorry that Vito disappointed you with that one. Thanks for all the comments. I think you guys are going to be surprised next week. I'll go up

and right there. Imagine Alex for 10. Umbrella guy, yellow flash, allegedly saved comics from the big two offering delicious private conversations

to artists PDF with their underage daughters at a time. Wow. I got a little inside baseball about that Umbrella Guys comic. Really? I can't spell it yet. But let's just say this man is not the savior of indie comics, which he claims he is.

Oh, he's doing a comic too? Oh, he's already done comics. Oh. Supposedly. What do you mean? He bills himself as like a comic guy? Wasn't he pretending to be a therapist too when he was talking about... He's another guy.

They get so angry whenever... Who's this? It's another YouTube guy. Let's just say... They hear little kids laughing and they start frothing at the mouth that there might be an imaginary pedophile lurking around. I can't spill the beans, but I will say. Give us a little taste. What happened?

Some of these guys are claiming, oh, I'm a great comic writer. I'm a great comic artist. Yeah. Might be stretching the truth. Let's just put it that way. All right. That's all I got for you. Okay.

Two for two. Thanks for the DBF. Derp of five for five. Mellow Notan works. I'll send the photos. Vote up drug dummies. Darius Ranikovas for five. No one could have predicted that bootleg Chinese medicine wouldn't work.

It's not from China. Shut up. The City Boy for five. I don't know what's more disturbing, Vito getting emotional in his Barbie review or Eric July's arm hair looking like a congregation of spiders. Joe Cool for two. On track for Vito to grow the hair out. Darryl for five for five.

Muscle weighs twice as much as fat per volume. Keep it up, Vito. No, that's the same tan guy. That guy doesn't know what he's talking about. I think he might. And Jimbo for five. TBF to Vito. Never mind.

I've got nothing. Muscle also consumes fat. Yeah. I think I'm in a transitory period with my body. You know, right now my body's figuring out what it wants to do with all this fat that's stored up. Well, look, it does take, your metabolism doesn't. Catch up immediately. Exactly.

That's true. Yeah. Not as soon as you start exercising. It doesn't really work that way, but it does. It happens pretty quick, but. All right. I mean, you see the numbers. I have faith.

Get these numbers down. I have faith. How many more months we got? Four. I'm going to knock it out of the park. Okay. Totally, totally attainable. Drastic measures.

Drastic. I think I can take drastic measures. See what you can get in the mail. I'll starve myself. I'll do it. Okay. Ralph is losing weight. Have you seen him? I know. He's been doing real good. Shedding it off. Really? Shedding pounds. Well, not drinking and stuff.

And eating all the shit food that you eat at like 1 a.m. when you're drunk. Going on walks every day. That's what he's doing. I gotta stop drinking my calories. He's outrunning lawsuits. He. That's what he's doing. I got to get, I got to stop drinking my calories. He's out running lawsuits. He's out running.

That's good. Well, this has been the hundredth episode, guys. What a great show. Don't forget to subscribe. Can we get the list of our supporters, which I did not update because I'm lazy. I'll update the next show.

Guys, thanks for supporting the show at patreon.com slash biggest problem. Don't forget back down by slash biggest problem.. Thanks for supporting the show at patreon.com slash biggest problem Don't forget back down by slash biggest problem. You can also support the show vote on all the problems at biggest problem dot show and Soon we will pick a venue for the big 108th live show Oh, yeah And when we announce that you will be able to buy tickets and join us in LA for a night of under the stars Okay. Bye everybody. Bye. Thank you Fucking scales broken