The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 104

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

Lack of Congressional Term Limits, Watching a Man Drown, Rickety Shit, Women's Dating Advice

Even that sound I associated. It's a good sound. I get a rush of dopamine whenever I hear. It's the best sound. Probably more than I should. Yeah, transition. I want people to see that it says loading live stream though So they think something's happening Is that the episode 100 opening again?

No, I changed it You changed it Fucker Good Okay, there we are We are live There's us Just hit that live streaming tab real quick for me

Just want to make sure End stream it says Hit end stream Should I do hit end stream or not? No Bunny's in the chat I No Bunnies in the chat I see Bunnies in the chat

Medicar got assaulted by bunnies last night Was he? Yes, I saw many bunnies in the chat there That's fascinating Good, good Super chat is even better Super chat Medicar with bunnies Before the show we were talking about how

If you wanted to really destroy your enemies Giving them a unifying icon of a adorable animal. Lovable. It's not really. Scamp. Tricky scamp that you can't catch. This man is the scum of the earth.

I compare him to a bunny rabbit. Like, it doesn't really. How does that hurt? Question. Is there any lovable characters that are also bunny rabbits? I don't think so. Are you sure? Are there any lovable characters that are known for outwitting stupid people with their brains and are wisecracking?

Are you sure? Think real hard. I don't think so. In a way, comparing someone to a rabbit is perhaps the least of all the animals you could pick. The rabbit who threw out fables and cartoons and all of media is a trickster god who constantly delivers mischief. Maybe check on the emoji thing on your phone if there's any emojis of the thing you're trying to insult somebody with. What are rabbits known for? Like checking for a trademark of your comic book before you run and buy 100,000 copies

that you now have to throw away if you lose the lawsuit. Come on, buddy. How about that one, dummy? Could have had some rabbit-like wit when you came up with those names. Call me a rapist. You know, you can't spin that one in a good way. Oh, yeah.

That's one that's a little more hurtful. Just call me a rapist. And this man is quite a rabbit of an individual. Rabbit's close. Yeah. If you call me a rapist, I'll say, like, a rabbit? Yeah, okay, you should have went with the too much fucking aspect of the rabbit. But to compare your mischievous nature.

I've got two retards now. Yeah, you got all, you know, you're stacking them. I'm like, I don't I don't like to, I don't tell people about this. My secret power is like Dragon Ball Z or Sonic that I collect retards when I have all seven of them. There are seven known gigantic

retards saying I'll reach my full truest form. You have two of the infinity gems I have two infinity retards right now. You have two of the infinity gems at this point. I have two infinity retards right now. You have the black gem and the Armenian gem. You're working on getting the other colors. There is a vaunted retard in every race

that I must collect. And all my powers combine. I shall be the ultimate racist. Well, as an Asian man, I object to Dick Masterson. No, you're making him more powerful. The Asian gem is mine Yes feed me Retards

If people of different ethnicities Could stop emboldering Mr. Masterson And giving him access to the racial gems Or maybe you should just learn How to write a story Both of them At the end of the day I go,

this is a situation of your own doing. Maybe you should just, you know, do a second draft of your gay little comic. If he made a good comic, we wouldn't be able to do anything. It would have come out, you would have read it, and you would have went, Vito's a bitch,

and I would have went, yeah, I'm a bitch, and that would have been the end. All of us wanted you to be wrong. Nobody more than me. I cannot wait to read Isam and show Vito what a gigantic bitch he's being. What a jealous bitch he is. What an absolute and ends up. And I said, two

weeks later, oh dear God. We even wanted Isam 2 to be good so we could stop talking about it If I Sum 2 was good We would have went Well at least he listened to reason Instead it's just gonna go on forever They're going after Nick now

It's breaking my heart Hearing him talking about it I don't want Nick Why are you going to Nick Ricada Because he's friends with Dick That's the stupidest thing in the world You guys are attacking I mean first of all

It's not gonna work Secondly you guys are attacking things That I don't value like friendships Right If you're dealing You're trying to spend Disney Bucks at Caesars Palace over there You know you're not gonna be friends with Dick anymore

Ah we got you oh yeah I mean I like Friendships But you know I don't need them Right I love Nick I'm just, I love Nick. I'm just kidding. I think it's sad that that holds. I feel bad that he's getting shit. As I always say, disavow me.

Whatever makes life easier, you know? Honestly, I sent him a message. He has integrity. He has integrity. I sent a message to Nick, and I'm like, listen, like, you don't feel like you're obligated in any way to anything. To thing me ever. I don't care.

Well, because that whole sector, like, our sector, like, we don't care Well cause That whole sector Like our sector Like we don't care Who's friends Sector Well whatever it is When the sector kicks in Yeah our secret stuff And all the gnomes

We hang out with And whatever else I don't know I don't think I police Anybody's friendships Really It's like yeah Do what you want

Hang out You know I might hate that guy But I'm not gonna tell you Not to hang out with him Or whatever else But He said our comic sucks He said our

One guy's comic sucks He's really messing with He's the fly in our o sucks. He's really messing with the... He's the fly in our ointment. Why can't you just go like, well, they're allowed to think your comic sucks, man. Like, what do you want me to... He's the pain in our ass. I'm like John McClane for comic, but of comics. Do they all see Eric July as like

their... I think some guys see him as like their ticket. Of course. He's their meal ticket. Because he made a million dollars on a comic and they want a part of it. They want a million dollars on their comic. And they want it more than being a decent human being And just letting human beings have friendships That aren't dependent on some weird You guys don't understand though I'm on a mission to collect all the retards

All the retard stones Gotta catch them all Retardmon You've captured two Someday I'll betray you and you can have the Italian stone how's that

it's me in China yeah like Fast and Furious intro smoking you know yeah being loud

I don't know what am I doing to attract retard playing with a Thomas the tank engine set and a guy comes over and says where did you get that

and I'm like he got a lot of plans A guy comes over and says, where did you get that? And I'm like. He got a lot of plans. Then I'm in India. Yeah. Selling bootleg Sonic the Hedgehog shirts. Autistic Indian child comes along. That has a line drawn down the middle so it looks like he has two guys. Two eyes.

And somebody says, hey, that's not. That's not how Sonic. Sonic has six spines On the back Not eight spines And go I got another one Another one

Alright Dick I hope you obtain All the stones I really do And I wish you luck Sorry sorry Okay here we go You can run the intro

Oh yeah Oh man I'm sweating so much I know Cause I'm going to prison The biggest Problem In I'm sweating so much. I know. Because I'm going to prison. The biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From emails that say we to libertarian. Oh, wait. From emails that we wrote to Libertarian IP That doesn't even rhyme Alright nice try Your host Dick Masterson joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi Hi Dick

What's up man Yeah well what a week That feels like years in TARD time It does feel like yes I'm just trapped in an endless TARD spiral that will never end Every day I gotta got to wake up. Yeah. Everyone going, well, actually, three years ago, Vito tweeted that he was going to bring

it. I'm like, yeah, I know. You guys don't like jokes. I won't make jokes. But they do, because they've all joked. Everyone, every person on the planet has joked about rape and pedophilia. Yeah. Every single one.

Killing a baby. Throwing a baby at the wall, whatever. Yeah yeah but you're not allowed to hear you are not allowed because they're bullied I'm not allowed cuz they're bullies and they can you can't make jokes on Twitter cuz they won't screenshot any of the context surrounding the joke or who you were respond it doesn't matter hairs doesn't matter I know they were never gonna like you I don't like them that's the more important part as I'm like listen guys I don't like them That's the more important part As I'm like

Listen guys I don't like you But I'm also not gonna like Just blatantly lie about you Yeah You know That's the part that drives me nuts As I'm like

You guys can tell the truth about me And say I suck That's fine I've done lots of stupid shit Yeah You know Yeah Okay

Are we ready to Yeah Whatever Who won last week I forgot how to do this show It's been so much bullshit I did a huge bonus episode You know? Yeah. Okay. Are we ready to see last week? Who won last week? I forgot how to do this show. It's been so much bullshit. I did a huge bonus episode watching that Maddox video.

I still have to watch that bonus episode. I'm excited. Oh, man. That video is... I forgot how pissed off I could be at that guy. I didn't realize. Honestly, I knew he was dumb. And obviously, I get stories from you.

And I listen to like old episodes And I know dumb stuff he's done Yeah But that video was the first time That I went Fresh dumb I was like I was like

Oh he's like Actually Just the stupidest person In the world He's insane Okay The problems The winner from last week

Was the five day work week That's a good one Obviously Fake libertarians next The royal we I thought that would be The first one Alums. The winner from last week was the five-day work week. That's a good one. Obviously. Fake libertarians next. The royal we. I thought that would be the first one. I watched the whole stream today, or like an hour, where it was two guys dissecting who you were talking about

when you said we in like a five-minute conversation. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, I really need to remove that from my vocabulary. For some reason I assumed Every human being on the planet understood Like speaking in generalities No Ron No they don't it's really weird

I've seen them like pull that on other people True there was like some female journalist Who said like you know like We lie all the time And you don't know if she meant women or journalists Yeah exactly It's like Yeah alright We lie all the time. Yeah, we lie. I don't know if she meant women or journalists, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, oh, they admit it. It's like, eh.

All right. The crushing realization that this is as good as it gets is one of your sad boy problems. I've been thinking about that problem a lot lately. Yeah, sometimes you come into my house and you're like a fucking dark cloud. Yeah. Like, what's that cartoon with the cloud that follows the guy? Is it a peanut? Well, I was thinking of Charlie Brown.

Yeah. I was thinking of that. Some days you're John Candy, and some days you're fucking, I don't know, Lamo Candy. Some days I'm fun. Good old Lamo Candy, the famous cousin of John Candy who killed all those people. Nobody likes that guy. And then mugshot envy is dead last. What the hell?

I know many people want to get arrested. Not everybody wants a mugshot. Well, that's why I have so much envy because I don't want to be arrested, but I want the mugshot. Why don't you go to one of those Wild West booths where you get behind the fake cage and you look like a gangster? You ever do that? I have done that, yeah. Yeah, so there you go. Pretty cool i have done that yeah yeah it's pretty cool but it's not pretty cool people aren't people use your mugshot to advertise for you yeah you know

yeah it's like ha take this and it's not a gotcha it's awesome mugshot is getting around t-shirts bumper stickers everybody loves it uh okay let's see here manny says uh oh i should have read this one thoughts of existential dread to shots of presidential head. Yeah, that's Brian's. That's really good. That's a good one. Thank you, Manny. Waylon says, Vito, you're not allowed to kill yourself.

I pre-ordered Super Killer, so you're trapped here like the rest of us. That is how it works, until I fulfill the comic. Martin O'Keefe says, maybe a lawsuit will make Vito too stressed to eat. Well, I think the stress of the threat and everything, that I did lose some weight. I was like, I can't eat. An insane millionaire psychopath. Again, he's known for throwing his money away.

It's like his favorite thing. It's to spend money on shit he doesn't need to, and I'm not going to get into it because he gets crazy every time I do, but his spending is out of control. I could see him going to Allure and be like, I need to destroy this fat boy. Here's a million dollars. Just fuck with

him. Do anything. I don't know, man. The rabbit and the... Somebody called us the rabbit and the tortoise. Yes. Tortoise interference. I am tortoise interference. You are the man with the hair. If anyone knows where to get it, I guess I could get a TMNT costume for Halloween.

I want to go as Tortoise Interference for Halloween this year. Okay. We're doing a couple's costume? Or are you just going as Tortoise Interference? Yeah, we're doing a couple's costume. Let's do it. Oh, good. I need an excuse to get out of those couple's costumes.

Brasive says, we need, a quote, we need to live more simplistic lives with less BS. End quote. Says the man who won't even go outside without his phone. He's talking about you. I know. My life is a fucking mess. You did say we need to be less complicated with our lives, but you won't even like go outside.

I don't know how to, I don't know how to get away from my phone. I got to figure out like what, somebody else left a comment and they're like, smash it. Or you were like, yeah, but then what do I do all day?

Look around. Look at a wall. Look at the grass. Sure. Go outside. Meet people. Meet other retards, you know. I have to talk to people. Yeah, that's true. I'm terrified of people. I went to Josh Denny's house yesterday. That was fun. Oh. Did you guys smooth things over?

Yeah, I think we're okay. Okay. I think. There's that word again. We. Abraham says, I want to see Vito lose the weight and get in shape so he can fight Eric July. That's the reality I want to live in. Wow. What are the odds of you and Eric fighting? Fist fighting.

I've had multiple suggestions that a celebrity boxing match is in order. That'd be a good fight. I think you guys got to give me a couple more months to maybe more than a couple. Get down to fighting weight. Maybe like a tard rage In the cage kind of fight I mean I think of you know I was thinking Of the other day uh remember

Uwe Boll yeah the guy who made All those shitty movies and then when critics said He didn't like them yeah to fight low tax Yeah I mean Eric July is Basically a black Uwe Boll he's Like a critic Well that's furious to me You're not allowed to critique my stuff It's a lot worse though because he was

A critic himself and still is That's what drives me the most nuts about all this Is these guys every fucking day Are like I hate this I hate this This is the worst Disney Spider-Man's not black Spider-Man's not black I go well I don't like I don't like I some Why are you trying to destroy his business Disney, blah blah blah Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Man Spider-Man's not black, Spider-Man's not black, Spider-Man's not black Okay, okay

I go, well I don't like, I don't like ice-sum Why are you trying to destroy his business? My livelihood! He has a company and he has employees who are trying to destroy his livelihood! Well I just didn't like his comic You're not allowed to do that! You can't do that! Alright, well You gotta negotiate with him

Like, no actually I want his employees to die Don't want that Well settle on getting it I don't want that. Well, settle on getting it. I don't want that. Just joking. Stop that. Stop it. Mystic Marbles says,

Vito antagonizes a bunch of drama-based e-celebs. Also, Vito, why is everyone always coming after me? I know. I just assumed that I could criticize public figures and that they would like. Take it. Roll with it. I mean, like they can fire back and be like, Vito's a piece of shit. That's fine.

But man, they go hard in the paint. Jesus Christ. Eric July's trying to tell everyone of his followers. Well, that guy has sex with children. And I'm like, what the fuck? Dude, I made fun of your comic. Holy shit. Why did I say I'm like What the fuck I'm like Jeez Dude I made fun of your comic Holy shit Why did I say I'm retired Why wasn't he out there

Fighting guys like me Yeah Why did he Why don't you have him Beat up a pedophile In the next one That would be more interesting Than what's been going on

Yeah He's gonna at some point Put a big fat guy like me Yeah In there And then I'm gonna Fucking Tony Twist his ass Did you ever hear about the

Todd McFarlane Fucked around He There was a Hockey player gonna fucking Tony Twist as this Did you ever hear about the Todd McFarlane fucked around There was a hockey player named Tony Twist Okay So in Spawn he made a character named Tony Twist Who was a mobster pedophile And the hockey player went That's my name Like if you google Tony Twist now

It comes up with Spawn character Pedophile mobster And you clearly drew him to look like me. Yeah, you just put, you can't put me in there and say I'm a mob boss. No, you can't do that. And like, he literally got all of Todd McFarlane's money. Like, Todd McFarlane Oh, really? Yeah, dude, like

20 issues into Spawn, Todd McFarlane lost all his money to this guy. Like 20 million dollars. That's a bit much. And he's like, well, I guess that was a bad mistake I made Yeah, dude, it's uh, it was like his big fuck-up Is the show going good? Yeah, yeah, I think it's going good. Yeah, Riley would call me if it wasn't going well So yeah, that was a Todd McFarlane almost lost everything

He's like well, I guess I just gotta keep making this spawn shit Even though I lost literally every dollar I've made from it so far Take the snake Roberts says I saw the blue wig and the thumbnail and I thought It was a turban lol a lot of people thought that we allowed a turban to the show Who? Well, I can wear a turban. I can't make certain noises while I wear the turn You know like hello Beach what do you mean certain noises?

Welcome to what what were you welcoming me to? To my place, the business that I have. What place? A turban store? A turban store. He's a turban man. Is there a good deal? That's a good deal for you, of course, my good friend. See, if I was wearing the turban while I said that, it wouldn't be okay.

Okay, so you can... Because I'm doing that. That was actually a rural southern character is what I was doing there. Are you worried that are you worried if Eric's fans will get a hold of the Infinity Gauntlet? Yeah, turn me to dust. Snap their fingers. I worry about that. The Yone Ranger says

phase two of Operation White Rabbit is underway. Wink wink. Oh, good. The gay ops continue The gay hops Gay hops Rabbits rise up Oh

Oh Hack the Movies Last one says You know in hindsight Maybe I shouldn't have Mentioned all the Eric July stuff When I called in a year ago With my problem I forgot that Tony

From Hack the Movies Is responsible for this Cause I was talking A little bit of shit on Twitter Like yeah this guy's an idiot And his comic's gonna suck And I was like, well, that's not interesting for the show. And he brought it to my attention and I said,

there it is. The black retard. I can feel it. I can feel a sense. I can feel it. Something is here. A presence I haven't felt in many years Since Banana Docs went offline

Tony, thank you for starting Possibly the greatest arc in the show's history The two year history, yeah The memes are going strong We'll see you guys at the live show, by the way If you're coming, make one mule Carry all the liquor in So we only get charged for him. That's true.

We get charged for $5 for everybody who has liquor, but if you give it all to one guy. Yeah, and don't heckle. We'll kill you. Don't fucking heckle the show. I will kick people out this time, man. Stop. Have a little fun. Do it. I don't want to kick anybody out. I'm too nice. Me either, but...

Also, it's going to be a tight fit. We'll have the security Pull your pants down And slap your bare ass In front of everybody Yeah Bring lots of money For merch

Can I have a big Merch table After the show You're such a You're such a fuck No I'm not a fuck You are like Fat and happy

Cause you've been doing Podcasting for like A decade or whatever The fuck Making all this money The whole time. Yeah. I'm like, hey, I can make a couple extra bucks selling t-shirts or whatever else. And you're like, yeah, I don't know.

That sounds gay. Don't do that. It's just a lot of work. I got it. Look. Who's going to work the merch booth? My girlfriend is not working the merch booth. Here's the thing. She's not doing anything. It'll be after the show. I'm going to set up the table. So you're going to do it. I'll do it. Okay. I'm going to work the merch because we don't, it's such a tight venue.

We can't even have a merch table until after the show. So you're going to be the merch table? I'm going to have to drag a table out and put it on the stage and go, everybody, come give me money. Come on stage. I don't know, man. It's going to be a mess. That's rough.

It is rough. Don't you want to go out drinking after the show? Oh, we're going to hang out for like 30 minutes, and then we'll go drinking. All right. All right. Do we have anything? That's all my comments. All the tickets for the show are sold out.

If we have any standbys, I don't know. Are we going to have people refund here and there? Yeah, but if anybody asks me for a refund, I just go on the site and click refund and it pops up in the inventory and it's immediately gone. Okay. So if you want a ticket, just sit on that page and press F5 all day.

Don't do anything else. Yeah, just all day long refresh the ticket page. All right. We're going to have fun. Am I going first? Well, do you have a... Oh, I have a certain segment.

Thanks for reminding me. You're welcome. One we haven't done in a while because we keep having guests. Okay. But we're back to the regular schedule and we are ready to vote it up! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. the regular schedule and we are ready to vote it up oh yeah wow yeah all right

go vote i don't care how i don't care if you like it or you disavow keep that in mind when you're trying to vote go to the website biggest problem dot show oh yeah a valuable thing seth rogan irs Oh, yeah. out here trying to be fair. Sucking his dicks from an expert armchair. We just want to see what it ends up to be. But only go vote if you're voting for me. Hit it up. Don't be a cuck. If you don't, I'll push you off a ladder. No, straight down onto the ground.

And when you land, your head's gonna shatter I'll push you off a ladder. I'll push you off a ladder. That's pretty good. Tremendous. Oh, yeah, thank you.

Guys, welcome to Voted Up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We revisit past problems and put them in a new context. Dick, this was a recent one from episode 95. It was the anti-plastic movement. Oh, okay. Well, a new study has found that paper straws potentially contain toxic chemicals, which could pose a risk to people, wildlife, and the environment. Yeah.

A European study tested 20 different brands of drinking straws and found that poly and perfluactal substances, also known as PFAS, were found in the majority of paper and bamboo straws tested. These chemicals can lead to a number of health problems, such as liver damage. Liver damage? Oh, that's the worst possible problem that there could be. Wait a minute. Just because you already have liver damage. I'm being serious.

I'm being deadly serious. We've got to get rid of these papers. Fertility issues and even cancer. Paper straws have been hurting us more than anybody. No wonder we're so upset about them. Liver damage and obesity. Oh, no. You know what?

I think the paper straws are what made me obese. I think that's been the problem. You're probably right. I gained a lot of weight once they introduced paper straws. Women have been getting so fat recently. In the last couple thousand years, I've noticed that they've been really porking

out. There should be a, there needs to be like a news feed just for articles for men to shove in their wife's face. You know? Like, oh, paper straws! Take that, you bitch! You said they were so good for the environment! But nothing else.

I don't want to comb through all this news all day. Like, Ukraine, don't care. News to own idiots with. You like paper straws. Specifically your wife. News to own women. Yeah, news to own women. Well, guys, currently the anti-plastic movement is number 297 with 162 upvotes. Don't forget, you can always vote it up if you're set

it paper straws well i've also got dick from all the way back in episode 14 i caught a lot of shit for this problem i don't know why public urination laws oh yeah that was that's true though they should they we shouldn't have them because they're insane you went kind of nuts though if i recall they were a little too overzealous with the laws let's be clear okay and i'll give you an example yeah mississippi police officers are under fire after arresting a 10 year old boy for urinating in public the african american youth who was urinating behind his mother's vehicle in a parking lot was removed from the mother's custody and brought to the police station and officially charged. Really? The officer responsible

for the arrest is no longer employed by the department, which says other officers will be disciplined regarding the event. Arresting a 10-year-old boy for pissing behind a car? What the fuck? What's going on? How is he even how is he alerted of it

and then arrested? How long was that piss? There's this little black kid. I think some of these cops, they see a little kid pull their pants down and they go ooh. They all have a sixth sense cops when a little boy's butt is exposed. Especially a black one is bared.

Gotta get over there. I think I don't want to play too much in the racial aspect, but I do think I do imagine a cop. Who are you. I think, look, I don't want to play too much in the racial aspect, but I do think, I do imagine a cop. Who are you? Being like, hey, I can cause trouble for an African-American youth. Yeah. The mom was there. The mom.

He's only going to get into 10 out of 12 Ivy League schools now. Okay. Well, he can put this on his record. Yeah. When they ask him to write his diversity statement, he can go, now, listen, I'm not saying it happened cuz I'm black which I am black by the way That's why they could see my dick was out from 200 yards away. That's why That grown man is just has his penis out is huge grown man. Oh wait. It's just a small black child. Never mind

Let's arrest him anyway. Well dick that's public urination laws laws Which is currently negative With negative 176 upvotes Yeah Don't forget guys come on You gotta vote it up Yeah Oh yeah Go vote I don't care how

I don't care if you like it or you dis My lord and savior My lord and savior I believe you're from the mom No I am Go vote. I don't care how. I don't care if you like it or you disavow. Malort and Savior. Malort and Savior. I believe in from the mom of all time. Votes are a valuable thing. Seth Rogen, IRS, and Rook Marketing. Watch them tick up till the end of the week when Vino's in the lead, but then Dick has to cheat. You do cheat.

I'm seeing the guys from the Dick show. I'm seeing his votes, but he's mad at Joe. He's logging to my website. I'll just give myself a couple hundred extra votes. Have a little IP address randomize with. Sucking his dicks from an expert armchair. They just want to see what it ends up to be. But only go vote if you vote.

Code it up. Don't be a cuck. If you don't, I'll show you a ladder. You're falling down onto the ground. Ground where your head is going to shatter. Now, Dick, you did win, but I think we agreed we want to lead off. Yeah, go for it. Go for it.

This is a problem. I had trouble coming up with the exact metaphor. You see the poll I put up in the chat, by the way? Who could do more push-ups, Maddox or Null from Kiwi Farms? I don't think any of them could do any push-ups. Not saying I could either, but I don't look at either of those guys and go, yeah, that's a fit individual. What's the most recent picture of Null, though?

I don't know. It's still just that fat moon face fucking picture of him from like 10 years ago questions all right all right go ahead dude he's getting swole my here's what i came up with i'm calling this problem watching a man drown now usually i would say that's funny or you know well i'm gonna say i don't think it is funny i think it's tragic from a young age you know we like to teach swimming okay it's a valuable skill the ability to keep yourself afloat in the water it's very important for all human beings you may find yourself at the pool in the ocean yeah you know and maybe the waters seem calm at one point but all of a sudden they start to get choppy. Maybe a wave knocks you back or a riptide.

A wave knocks you right out of work and you got to swim for some reason. It happens all the time. Maybe there's a riptide you feel is pulling you down. Some sort of. Maybe there's a beautiful girl you got to save. A beautiful girl you need to save. Some money. Doesn't want to be saved.

Or maybe a different person saves her from an ocean tide wedding or some sort. Yeah, sure. Point is, you're experiencing, you're drowning. The water is overtaking you. Okay. And everybody is telling you, well, just stop fighting against the water. Stop thrashing. Stop thrashing.

See, the metaphor falls apart. No, no, no, no, no. Just swim to shore. A quicksand would be better. Sure, no, no, no, no. Just swim to shore. A quicksand would be better. Sure, quicksand. Watching a man drown in quicksand. Any situation where a man could easily help himself. Stop thrashing.

It's quicksand. Stop. It's going to swallow you. It's going to swallow you. Stop. Just go limp. Go limp. Accept it.

Accept your reality and go limp and you can float. I'm pretty sure I saw it on a G.I. Joe cartoon. Accept your reality and go limp and you can float. I'm pretty sure I saw it on a G.I. Joe cartoon. When you're in a situation that is of your own creation. Yeah. And everyone. Like you jumped into quicksand and go, I'll show this quicksand.

This will be fine. I'll show this gay quicksand. This sand is fine. And everyone's going to be on my side. And the second I step in it, everyone's going to go, hey, we don't want this guy in quicksand. And they're going to lift me out. And you're going to realize, well, everybody thinks you're a fucking idiot. And you're the reason for the quicksand. Why did you go into quicksand?

Yeah, you're going to have to say what you're talking about. Because now people are losing this metaphor, I think. I think that if you're an internet personality. Oh, you're talking about Maddox. Okay. And you've had years sinking in the quicksand, struggling against it. Yeah. And it's threatening to swallow you.

Yeah. And everyone is telling you, well, just stop fighting. You lost. This is me with my retail medallion. Yeah. So just slowly pull yourself out. Admit that it was stupid to be thrashing against it the entire time. Yeah.

And leave the jungle. Get out of the ocean. Accept the light. Go back to Utah. Yes. You have people on all sides who are going, well, you know, just take care of yourself. And, you know, you can make fun videos again. And you don't need to.

Maddox's fans are commenting on a video like he just survived cancer. Yes. It's good to see you back, man. Well, they're in the- Concentrate on your- He's dragging people into the quicksand with him. They're all going down in this quagmire of stupidity. Mm-hmm.

Where at the end of the day, it's like, just admit you fucked up. Yeah. You fucked up. Admit that you got upset. You made, yes, you got overly upset. Yeah. And everybody, first of all Would be We all understand

Going nuts crazy For a girl You wanna fucking Yeah Make your perfect wife Yeah And then a beautiful Gaston type

You know Figure comes along With his muscles I played Gaston Yeah I know you did You know And you're the chubby Friend of Gaston

Well who is that Motherfucker You know Why are you saying Gaston Is it Gaston What the chubby friend of Gaston. Well, who is that motherfucker? You know. Why are you saying Gaston? Is it Gaston? What do you mean, is it Gaston? It's been forever since I've seen Beauty and the Beast. Yes, it's Gaston.

Okay. No one eats like Gaston. No one eats like Gaston? It's been, I only see it written out. I haven't watched the movie in a while. All right. Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be Gaston? Isn't that like more French sounding? Oh, okay.

He's a French character. Yeah, but they don't have like real thick accents. Only one guy has a super thick French accent in that movie. Yeah. It's supposed to be French. Lumiere, I think is his name. Lumiere. Yeah.

Regardless of this Beauty and the Beast lore, point is that, okay, Gaston won. Okay. As he was always meant to do. And maybe you are the disgusting, disfigured beast who had a secret lair that you wanted to drag the girl into and teach her a lesson about whatever, you know? But it doesn't usually happen that way. So you just go, well, you know. Because you're not the beast. You're like that little gay friend of Gaston's. Yeah, exactly.

You're the little fat chubby one That Josh Gad played It was actually gay Yeah So And you just go Well You're very affected by Maddox's meltdown

Because you were You wanted him to do better Well, because I see so much of myself in Maddox Like what? He's too defensive He's defensive the way I'm defensive Yeah Where it's like

Vito, you fucked up And I go No, I didn't I didn't do anything wrong I never did anything wrong I don't know People make pedophile jokes I'm making Yeah Where it's like Vito you fucked up And I go No I didn't I didn't do anything wrong I never did anything wrong I don't know People make pedophile jokes I'm making a pedophile joke right now

Right At a certain point I have to go Shouldn't have fucked around On Twitter You know I should have understood Some of these guys

Have big followings Yeah Yes Alright I picked some bad fights Yeah That I could not win Yeah Which is fine.

I accept that now. That's right. I'll finish all these guys off. Don't worry about it. I'm leaving it up to Gaston. Gaston, do whatever you want. I'm just trying to have fun at this point. I eat a lot of eggs.

I was like, I'll make fun of this black guy. He's got millions of dollars. He's not going to care. And then he got really mad. And I'm like, I thought he wouldn't care at all. I thought he'd be like, man, I got millions of dollars. Why would I give a shit? Why would I give a shit?

Why would I give a shit about this guy? I'm married. I got a wife. I got a warehouse. I'm set. I don't give a fuck if he made fun of me. I really thought he had more going on, but I guess not. I guess not.

He's just a really thin-skinned internet guy. Regardless, you know, you lost a situation. You went over the top You started fucking around You don't think his video is good? Maddox's video? No his video is ridiculous It's the most ridiculous thing

You don't think Colin Justin Wang A plagiarist is good? He's not a plagiarist He didn't even make a good case Of plagiarism At one point When we started watching the video I'm like oh

Maybe he found like some really Like maybe Justin Wang Really is plagiarizing Yeah with that Because it's happened before See this article says George Washington was the first president, and in his video he says the first president was George Washington. That's plagiarism.

Got it, man. It's like, no, Maddox, facts cannot be plagiarized. How are you this? It was like the cuck video again where he just doesn't understand a very cuck. He understands. Does he though? That's what I don't know. That's what drives me nuts.

I'm driven nuts as I go, does he know that's not plagiarism and he's fucking around? Or does he actually think that that's plagiarism? Now this is why it's so important. What I love is that all these new Zoomers are being introduced to the cuck video for the first time. And that, you know, so long ago.

Did he leave that video up? Is it still on his page? Yes, and the comments are hysterical. They never stopped. Yeah, well, that was the other thing is that I went, again, why are you making this worse? Because now you're right. I am watching an entire new generation. I saw Bo Blacks.

Yeah yeah yeah Who was like I didn't know a lot of this Maddox stuff Because it was like before my time I was probably in middle school When this shit was going on Yeah And now I'm a huge

You know YouTube guy With like 300,000 subscribers Let me look into this Maddox You know idiot Seems awfully retarded Yeah he seems kind of Absolutely insane Interesting

And I'm like no Maddox you could have reinvented yourself for this new generation. That's the thing. It's what they say about comebacks. You gotta go away to come back. Okay? He did the going away pretty, he did a pretty good job of just kind of disappearing. And I know it drove

you nuts because you're like, fuck, I can't monetize this motherfucker anymore. Well, actually, I was sick of making fun of his banana doc stuff. He was getting a little old. And in his absence, I actually started to feel bad for him and want him to succeed.

And then he came back with lying and implying in a way that only he can do and Eric, too. And I thought, man, I remember why I fucking hated you, man. It's back on. And even me, and I thought, man, I remember why I fucking hated you, man. It's back on. And even me where I'm like, look, you guys have every reason to hate Maddox. It makes perfect sense to me.

Me, obviously, he's never done anything wrong to me, so I'm like, I still am like, I hope this guy figures things out. I hope he gets back on his feet. And then I watch it back, and I'm like, no, never mind. I fucking hate this guy now. God damn, man. Like that. How are you that stupid? Everyone has...

The Jenny Tommy two-tone number and he fucking tried to pretend that that's doxing his girlfriend? Because it had an area code on it.

It had an area code. That is someone's phone number. Dipshit. So someone, first of all, no. They could have changed the numbers at random until they got to my girlfriend's actual phone number.

310-821-4960. That's doxing. Watch it dox that person right now. Oh my God. I'm going to start listing social security numbers too. 111-11-1111. Stop doxing all these people. So yeah, it's watching a guy set himself on fire.

It's watching a guy just like, don't worry, I got this. And I'm like, no, you're sinking under the waves. You're sinking under the quicksand. On fire too. That's horrible. How did you even manage that? And instead of just doing the smart, sensible thing, and slowly but surely rising up out of the muck, slowly

swimming to shore. Instead, just allowing yourself to be taken by the current, keep thrashing against the fucking waves and drown and die. Metaphor is all over the place. I hope your comic has better writing than this metaphor. Well, in the quicksand issue, it's gonna be real good. Now, this metaphor makes perfect

sense. Shit, mate. It makes perfect sense. Everybody understood it. Is that your problem? Watching a man drown? My problem is watching a man drown. Himself. Drown himself. Yes.

Keep shoving his own face in the toilet bowl. Why am I? Why won't anyone help me? I don't understand. You're swimming in the wrong direction. I just wanted a stereo to leave me the fuck alone. The reason I sued is because I wanted Asterios To leave me The fuck alone I'm a hard

I'm a hardcore Killer I just wanted Asterios To leave me The fuck alone In my livelihood Alone

That's why I Dragged Justin Wang Into this For no reason Cause I want These guys To leave me The fuck alone

Leave me alone That's why I spent The last three years Making a video So they'll Leave me the fuck alone Oh you succeeded In canceling a stereo

As a guy with a podcast With like 12 listeners Good work I guess Oh That's uncalled for Well what's the stereo Even doing I'm saying

It's doing great I assume He doesn't want to get Roped back into all this stuff I'm just saying It's like what's even The point of going at that guy He's not like a big guy

That's why you had to go With Justin Wang Because if he said I'm attacking his stereo He would have been like Who the fuck is that What are you talking about Justin's a guy. He's not like a big guy. That's why you had to go with Justin Wang. Cause if it said I'm attacking a stereo, I would've been like, who the fuck is it? What are you talking about? Justin's a nice guy.

It's not going to attack him back. Stereo is a nice guy. Won't attack him back. That's all these guys do. Yeah. Nice guys. I guess it's true. I mean,

Justin put out a little defense of himself, but you're right. He's not going to make a whole video. He's not going to spend like eight years. Yeah. Making fun of him. Another eight years. Okay. That's your theory that Maddox will put out more videos about this. I think making fun of him. Another eight years. Okay.

Is your theory that Maddox will put out more videos about this nonsense? I think he'll put out a me video. He's probably already got it made. Yeah, because it took him three years to make this one. So maybe he's got a whole bunch of these queued up. He'll use my real name, you know. What's the worst thing he could say about you, though? You call him a cuck?

I guess. I don't know. What is he going to say? I'm a racist? He'll just say He'll take everything Bad to say about somebody And just Make

Manufacture screenshots To fit it Or take shit I said In a gist You know Or that I meant I don't know You should make like

A funny video He said I was racist Against Mexicans Because I got They fucked up my order At McDonald's And I said Fucking Mexicans

You told a big story About that That means I'm racist Torture your own people You're allowed to say that Alright my problem is Listening to women's Advice for hitting on women

That sounds a little wordy Women giving dating advice Dating tips from women Yeah women's dating advice A very good friend of mine Said He asked a woman What he should do

About this waitress That he had a Flirtation with A crush on What should I do about it And she goes Well you can't ask You can't ask a waitress

Out at work And I heard this story And I said Well that's wrong That's incorrect Yeah You can do whatever you want Yeah go nuts

She likes you It's not gonna That's crazy What do you mean you can't There's a number of things You cannot do I mean not if she's You should wait until

The end of the meal You don't want like To get there and go Hey you wanna go on a date She goes no And you go Okay I'll get another coke You know cause I can get it

Awkward Right For your own For your own meal You don't wanna mess up Your meal by getting rejected. It's easier to get rejected on a full stomach. Probably after you tip.

After you tip. That's when you ask. Give a nice big tip and you go, hey, you ever like golden bowling? Can I get your, make sure you show her the Venmo while you're filling it out and put one, zero, and then say, so can I get your number? You know, hover over there. Okay, yeah, cool. Now there was zero.

Her advice was to make sure the flirtation is there and then to, quote, give her your phone number after asking if that was okay. And I said, well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard because women don't even call. Women don't respond to appointments that they made. They're definitely not going

to go out of their way to text some freed cock on Friday night. They're going to hide under a blanket listening to true crime. That's not what women... How are you a woman

and you think this is what is normal behavior for a woman? Just go through their phone trolling for dick with random, of course it's not, they're not going to do that. What do you think their opener would be? Hey, how about that penis? You got a hot penis over there? What are they going to want to talk to anybody about?

They just stew in paranoid delusion and fear. I don't think women, women don't know what they want, right? That's always the thing. They sit on Instagram looking at puppies. Yeah. And absorbing emotional trauma from their friends. That's all they do. They interrupt their thought process with a text like, hey, what are you doing?

Yes. What are we doing tonight? Women give dating advice as though they are a lesbian. So it's the worst possible to never have any sex at all. Right. Right? And they have the audacity to give this advice still, even though they have never done that. I know it's dog shit, yeah.

You should give her your number. Oh, have you ever texted a guy that gave you his number? God, no. That's a huge turn off. I don't think women realize they're terrible communicators, too. So it's like, yeah, if you try to get a woman to contact you, she doesn't want to talk to anybody. I watched a video the other day where it's like a lady making dinner and taking care of her kids. Is this part of your porn torrent that you downloaded?

Yeah, it was part of my porn. This is what I get off to. Yeah, a lady making dinner. Yeah, some spaghetti. I'm going to put in some mozzarella. That sounds pretty hot And then it cuts To her husband On the couch

Just like Playing on his phone She's like Can you believe That this is It's like Well just tell him You need help

Tell him about your comic Tell him you need help Making dinner Tell him you know Girl women don't reach out Yeah The worst Yeah

Absolute Just do the opposite Ask a woman What you should do Especially with their friends They'll lie up a storm Yeah And then they get together

And talk about The many ways You've disappointed them In their minds already Before you even talk to them So how should you Approach a waitress? Just go

Bitch let me get them digits I already explained Yeah the tip part That's a good one. Make sure the money is out there. When you're asking, make sure you have some actual money on the table. So go to the ATM before you go there and just sit your money in a pile. You do got to flaunt.

In front of you. You got to flaunt a little bit of like, hey, who's this guy? Yeah, if you have a nice watch, go ahead and go like this. Get on your phone and loudly talk about a big business deal. Yeah. Be like, we going to close that or not? We got like a million dollars riding on this thing, and I get like a 50% commission on that. And I get most of it.

Yeah, exactly. And you go, oh, I'm sorry. Can I get another plate of the $100 chicken wings, please? Whatever they tell you to do, do the opposite. Yes. That's rule number one when it comes to women. That's my problem. I don't know if you in the audience have ever asked.

Have ever tried to hit on a woman. Taking a woman's advice on anything. Please write in. I think you got to, what is the best way to, you got to get them talking about them. They love it. Yeah, put them on the defensive. What's your favorite? Do you even know what dinosaurs are?

Do you know what dinosaurs are? I don't know if that's the best go-to line necessarily. Ask them if they, talk to them about Ralph. Yeah, women are all up on the Ethan Ralph draw. Are you a big Killstream listener? Are you a Ralph-a-maniac as we all are? Ask them for advice on hitting on a woman. Yeah, that's not a, that's not.

Anything to get them fucking talking about something they don't know anything about. Ask them if they're watching Downton Abbey or whatever the fuck. I like that show's probably not on TV anymore. Yeah. What are women watching? What are women into? Who cares? Bitching. Yeah. Ask them if they're watching some

baking show. What their favorite show with baked goods is. No, don't make them list anything. You got to get them thinking about. You got to get them trying to. Because their brains are connected to their vagina. So if one starts working, so does the other. Problem is, it's so hard to get either one started.

You got to get. We should bring. Where do roly polies go at? Where did you get these shoes? I love the shoes. Where did you get the shoes? If we have any female listeners of this show Call in and tell us What you think is the best advice

And we'll do the opposite So we can do the opposite Yeah we're gonna dissect What you think Yeah And if you say the opposite We will still manage To find a way to do

The opposite of that Yes Without going back To the original So you can't trick us Women giving dating advice Don't like it I just don't talk to women

They're insufferable. And you're still having a bad experience? Wow, you really do have problems. Sometimes I talk to, I have some female friends, I guess. I talk to. We don't talk about dating, though. Oh, you don't? What do you talk about?

I don't know. What do you talk about with women? Hey, I'm like, like hey What's going on Ask them about their shitty Honestly I talk to them about Their shitty relationships With their boyfriend

And I feel really good About myself You know I thank god I don't have to Deal with this dumb bitch We've been fighting about This this this this I'm like

Tell me all about it Does he realize That you're an honest person Have you told him that And that's his I get something out of Like hearing another man's suffering from women. And I'm like, yeah, he's all in the wrong. You should fuck with him more.

You should go at him. They do it on purpose. They get bad advice on purpose because they want all the men and money and resources for them. They don't want any other woman to ever get laid. They want it for them. Just in case. That's my problem. That's a good problem, Dick. Well, I have another problem. You want to play a video and show

one of our most beloved Senate party leader? Is this it? New Manel is not very good. I don't like New Manel. Is that the... Justin Wang doesn't cite his sources. Except when he does sometimes cite

his sources. Targeted harassment campaign. I'm going to talk for 30 minutes about Justin Wang citing his sources. And then I'm going to talk about hysteria's coconuts. Something

hasn't been relevant. However, for the last 30 minutes. Livelihood. Livelihood. Livelihood. Is that the one you're talking about? What is going on with his head? Does he need to get that checked out? He's so bald, his bald head is getting a bald spot.

How did he get a garbage shed fucking bald spot, man? That's weird. I don't know. I thought that you get that if you have, like, fucking cancer or some shit. Wow. Who would win in that fight? Maddox versus cancer.'s weird I don't know I thought that you get that If you have like fucking cancer Or some shit Wow Who would win in that fight Maddox versus cancer

Yeah I don't know Maddox would be like I'm out of here Well here's another question for you Who's the bigger brain Maddox or this guy I'm gonna put him on About equal footing

But uh Let's take a look Okay this is Mitch McConnell Mitch McConnell What am I talking about what Running for re-election In 2026 Oh Oh shit What am I talking about? What? Running for re-election in 2026.

Oh, shit. Oh, okay. Just went ahead and shut down there. Did you hear the question, Senator? Running for re-election in 2026? He's staring off into space like he's suffering a stroke. I'm sorry, you're out of the meeting, Matt. You're going to need a new senator.

Why are they letting him talk to anyone? Why is no one reacting correctly? Which is, bro, what the fuck is going on here? What the fuck are you doing up there? Are you fucking kidding me with this? Okay. Oh my god, dude, this is so

bad. Somebody else have a question Somebody else have a question Did the question not compute What is a new question Gonna do with it You dumb bitch My problem No one is acting Why are they all acting insane

I don't know man Oh you're the senate You're running the The senate You're literally running The senate right Yes Wait are you running again

I'm a party leader sorry Are you gonna run again Oh well I think a totally normal reaction Is just to sit here Senate. Yeah. Are you running again? Party leader. Sorry. Are you going to run again? Oh, well, I think a totally normal reaction is just to sit here and stare at you and act like this is the question. I don't have another question. No, I think you should answer that one. Very simple. You should answer what the fuck is going on here.

Anyway, Dick, my problem is no congressional term limits. Okay. Now, government should be representative of the people, right? Right. And an interesting fact about America, which I have written somewhere, is that the average age of Americans, do you know? Take a guess. Average age? Average age.

55? Oh, lower than that. 40? 38 is the average age of 55. Oh, lower than that. 40? 38 is the average age of Americans. The average age of the 118th Congress is 58. So a good 20 years over the average American age. Mitch McConnell, who turned 81 in February, is the longest serving party leader in Senate history. This is his seventh term in office. Each term is two years. So that's 14 years as party leader,

over which his brain has clearly turned into oatmeal because he is 80 years old. Just like Biden, right? Well, Biden's not in Congress. But I mean all the other brain stuff that you say. Biden does fine talking. Un-fucking-believable. Whatever.

Un-fucking-believable. So. Un-fucking-believable. So this, you don't want this in Congress, but you're fine with this running the whole country. I think we could have a younger president. I'm fine with that. Okay? But Trump would be too old, too. Trump is not a fucking brain-dead vegetable. Neither is fucking Biden.

Trump's the funniest guy in the world. Neither is Biden. He went to fucking, he went to Hawaii and said, boy, is the ground hot. He doesn't even know where the fuck he is. Why is the ground hot? Did you see that? You make a good point. Okay, fine.

I'll give you that point if it helps make this problem happen. I don't want, you're right, I don't want old politicians. I didn't want Biden to be president. I wish we had a young guy in there. Just put Zelensky in there. Might as well. Sure, put Zelensky in there. Might as well. Sure. Put Zelensky in there.

I want to give you the ages of some senators you may know and recognize. Okay. Congressman, congresspeople. Diane, hold on. I'll go from bottom to top. Nancy Pelosi, 83 years old. Yeah. 19 terms.

That's 38 years. Maxine Waters Waters 85 years old She's one of the dumbest people in the world 17 terms She's been there 34 years Wow Okay Chuck Grassley

Republican 89 8 terms Do you know who the oldest is? Strom Thurmond's still alive? No he's Strom Thurmond died a while ago I'm pretty sure

That was too bad Diane Feinstein Clocking in at 90 fucking 90 years old Do you even know How the fuck You don't know

What are you gonna do Tell us like to get That fucking steam engines Running on time Make sure that the The new I don't know Empire State Building

Is coming up Couple minutes That's a great question Dick I would say You know I don't have an exact term limit. Two, four? Four, I think would be reasonable. Four would be fine.

You'd be for that. Eight years total. I think that would be fine. Yeah. But I think the real problem that we're getting into is that these people, they get in there and they don't want to go anywhere because it's a cushy job. You're making money. You're doing a bunch of bribes and illegal shit.

Yeah. Making hundreds of millions of dollars. I think you need term limits. And I think also there should be, at a certain point, age limits. I think if you're over 80, you would go like... Yeah, but then you're out Trump. Okay. Well, I think you can find another guy who's a Trump-esque figure.

There's no one like Trump. There's only one Trump. Well, that's why I'm saying term limits for Congress, not president. You can have a whole president if you want. Well, what's the difference? At the end of the day... Well, that's why I said I'm not I'm saying term limits for Congress, not president. You can have a president if you want. Well, what's the difference at the end of the day? Like here's the real problem is the generational representation, right? Is that we want all generations

of Americans Supreme Court. You got fired at 80 or whatever. It's got its own problems. Will you stop fucking changing the subject? Let me focus on one problem with people. They have an idea to fix it and they don't think about the other problems. Just let me make a point. Okay, go for it.

Generational representation. Okay? Okay. What is the worst generation in American history? Boomers. Baby boomers. Yeah. Yes.

Okay? Baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964 are the vast majority of Congress with 264 members. Okay. Gen X is 179. Millennials is 67. And the so-called silent generation, 30 members. So 264 members of Congress. I think that's more than half are fucking baby boomers.

Yeah. Who are handed everything on a fucking platter. An era of eternal wealth, which they capitalized on and left nothing for anyone else. Ponzi scheme. And those are the motherfuckers who are setting all the laws to fuck everyone other than themselves. Yeah. Yeah.

It's bullshit. Interactions with police have gone up, too, from their time. Have they? Every generation has just more interactions with police and they get hit harder for the same crimes. Which is bullshit A University of Maryland poll found that 83% of voters support amending the Constitution To establish term limits

Yeah 83% of Americans want this But we don't make the laws 400 people don't So yeah Yeah these 400 assholes go. Well, I'm fine. Here's my problem with term limits.

Yeah. I'm fine with it. Anything that hurts anything that hurts the government is I'm for sure. I don't care. Like, but I don't think it's going to work because you think different people rotate in regardless. Yeah. Like, that'll just be.

Well, I'm like Mitch McConnell's dude And I'm running And I'm Mitch McConnell And I endorse Mitch McConnell tells me Everything to do Anyway Yeah like

I don't want them to go Just become lobbyists Where they're doing The same thing You know I see what you mean I guess Like how do we get

More Here's the problem Representational government Not just a bunch of Baby boomers Go Because Congressional districts Are so big Here's the problem. Representational government. Not just a bunch of baby boomers. Go. Because congressional districts are so big, they don't represent people.

Right. Because you can't run for Congress. You can't run. The average congressional district is like 750,000 people, right? Sure. You need a gigantic amount of money. You need to be a celebrity to win an election like that. You can't just be you or me knocking on doors right right so if we don't have representation then what is the term limit matter honestly and the senate's the same the

senate's the same way um william randolph hearst led a campaign to take the Senate away from state senator election and put it in the hands of the people because it was explicitly set up to limit a populist voice in the government. Ironically, William Randolph Hearst personally killed this. Oh, Hearst was responsible for killing it? Yeah. In 19 like, okay, yeah. Oh, Hersel's responsible for killing it? Yeah. In like

1912 or something, he led this big thing about how we have to get the Senate... The Senate's not doing enough. We have to empower them to do more, so let's just make it a direct election. Yeah. Instead of government figures electing the Senate, which is what it was supposed to be. So...

Yeah, term limits would be great, but I think we're still going to end up with a bunch of fucking vegetables. Well, I see what you're saying. How do you get a representational government when, at the end of the day, you kind of need to be a rich guy who can run a campaign? Yeah. And you need a lot of friends who are probably going to be there anyway. Yeah.

Regardless, I think that if you are a congressman past the age of 80, you should have to navigate through some sort of trap-filled maze. And if you fail, you are grounded in a hamburger by the grinders. What about that wheelchair guy? That's to establish. He's got to do it. You can voluntarily resign before running the gauntlet, okay? Yeah.

We're going to have an electronic minotaur that chases them through the maze. And he goes, okay, if you want to be a congressman, your term limit is up. You can get another four terms, but you have to outwit the minotaur. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Who's going to try to cut off your arms and legs and make you an actual vegetable. They'll just never do it. Like, they'll never pass a law limiting their own power.

I thought you were going to say they'll never pass a law to enforce the labyrinth, which I think the people could make it happen. But you know who would? Who would? Trump. You think Trump would make it through the labyrinth? I mean, he was doing wall stuff.

A labyrinth is just a wall that is built improperly. I think there should be some... How about this? Instead of term limits, some sort of cognitive test. For instance, if someone asks you, are you going to run again and you freeze as your brain cells slowly die, you've failed the test.

You're not allowed to be Senate majority leader anymore. Don't you think it's crazy that, like Mitch McConnell should be shot out of a cannon, in my opinion. But don't you think it's crazy that liberals defend Biden's fucking goofball brain? Like they do. They really do. I don't know if you're kidding or not, but if you try to tell him Biden's obviously fucked up, his brain's obviously fucked up, they're like, well, he seems pretty fine. Like, what?

So why don't you let him do your taxes then? Let Biden do your fucking taxes. I hope he doesn't run again. I hope we get a different guy. Trump. I don't know if Trump's exactly what I want. What about that little Indian guy you guys got? Everybody likes him.

Yeah, let's get Vivek. I fucking hate that guy. No, you don't hate that guy. I do hate him. There's nothing there. I know, but that's part of the fun. Trump has hatred in his heart. Trump has hate in his heart.

Vivek's just like a fucking farmer, bro. We'll get Kamala. We'll get a cop president finally. But don't you think that's funny that nobody will say this shit about, that nobody on the left Not on the left. They always argue it. The problem is you don't have a great clip like this. What's the best Biden clip? Corn pop?

I like the corn pop story. It's the kind of story I would tell. These people got to have corn pop and sometimes kids would come and pull the hairs on my leg. Talking about not knowing his wife is his wife and shit like that. And mixing up family members and stuff. Hey, he's got a big family.

He's got a big family. A lot of those, all those fucking Bidens look the same. I get it. Point is. Yeah. Well, then let's make it. What do you call it? I said congressional term limits, but it's really irrepresentable

Congress. Congress does not represent No, I'll do your term limits. Alright, term limits. Congressional term limits. Lack of. Lack of congressional term limits. Okay, my problem is rickety shit. Rickety shit. I got this new table. The one upstairs? The dining room? Yeah, it looks great, but every time

I sit on the chair, it's like Where'd you get a table from? I don't know table wrong or the chairs wrong that it's the chair is going What do you mean? You don't know where you got it from I don't remember you just got a stare up in this place Senator where did you get the table? It's all rickety anyone have another question. Yeah, if it's all rickety Don't ask me about the tables Um It sounds like it's your fault though Cause you don't even know

Where you fucking got it from What does that have to do With the fucking table? It's all rickety as shit And I can't And if I tighten it anymore If I tighten it anymore With my

Allen wrench Which I threw away Uh I'm afraid I'll rip right through it And that'll be the end of the table You're not gonna rip through it. And that'll be the end of the table. You're not going to rip through it if you tighten it. Rickety table.

My car, driving it around every once in a while. It goes, something in there goes, like a pirate ship. So your problem, though, is you buy new stuff. What do you? Used shit is less rickety? Dude, I drive through your neighborhood and I pick up free shit. You live in a nice neighborhood. There's just like free shit on the side of the road all the time.

What'd you pick up? I got all those Uline chairs. Those nice like $100 fucking... Yeah? Like, yeah. What do you call them? I don't know if you call them a work chair. I offered you one. I said, you want a chair?

And you said no. Yeah, I don't want chairs on the side of the road. I've been trying to get for the longest time, you know, those like electronic carts that you put a, the ones you used to get in like AV class to push the TV in. You want one of those? Yeah,

I found one on the side of the road finally. Wow. For my Sony, I have a nice Sony like old school tube TV that I'm going to put on there. Okay.

And all that shit's rickety. So that's very rickety. So you live in a rickety world. I live in a rickety, all rickety bullshit. I don't live in a rickety world I live in a rickety All rickety bullshit I don't live in a rickety world But everything I have I have one step

That's fucking rickety The fucking people The goofballs That put my house back together To flip it Had They fucked everything up But there's one

Part in the floor That's like Cock-eyed With the rest of the floor And every time you fucking step It goes Drives me insane You got a rickety sewage system

I know that I wish that That would be an upgrade To have a rickety sewage system It's not even rickety It's just shit It's just shit My bed is rickety

I move around at night And it goes The wood on the wood On the floor Yeah just get worse shit And then once everything's rickety It all feels good So I should embrace it

Embrace it The more rickety it is feels good So I should embrace it Embrace it The more rickety it is I have this awful The car is the worst one Cause it's brief Well it was brand new I don't know Wait the car is what

Shaken or something It's just something in there Goes And I know I know that it's the same thing Because I know when it's coming now And the dread of the rickety shit Is worse than it actually being rickety

I just have a trash 2007 Honda Element It's got all these Like fucking dings And dents And sometimes I look at it And I go I wish it didn't have those Yeah

But it does And I've learned to accept it Um Well I'm not Doug I hate it Uh You should go to that

There's that nice thrift store Near here That big one I don't want other rickety shit I want to not have anything rickety No but if you get stuff from a certain era It's less rickety Because they used to make shit good

Oh You have to get like really old furniture Oh that's smart Because that's when they like Yeah dude that's why people buy like Vinted furniture and shit Because it's not rickety Yeah because they used to make

Counterintuitively Yes You know if it's rickety right away And it doesn't get rickety It's not made of like shitty Chinese particle board in newspaper It's like just a big solid piece of wood that ain't going anywhere the Chinese fucked me And it's like a 60s table. Yeah, so I could just go get a no you should absolutely go to the thrift store I'm gonna go to the thrift store. Yeah, you have that big one near here

And they have a shit ton of furniture and if you find that's why people go there all the time and they're always going through the furniture because like i hate used in la there's all this like old 60s furniture and it's built like a fucking rock uh okay yeah so everything now is rickety yeah modern era shit it's always crap it's always like yeah because it's all made in fucking china i bet if you look under that table it was made in china i don't need to look i know it was was made in China or Thailand or whatever the fuck. Why would that table be made anywhere in America? Exactly. What are they making?

Yeah. Dude, modern shit is garbage. Why is it so fucking hot in here? I don't know, man. I'm sweating my ass off. It got super hot all of a sudden. All right. Well, that's my problem.

Do we already do all the problems now? We're done with problems. Yeah. Oh, it's the fucking fan. The fan's not going? No, the fan's going, all the problems now? We're done with problems, yeah. Oh, it's the fucking fan. The fan's not going? No, the fan's going, but the vein. There we go. Okay, the vein wasn't going on.

I still think someone needs to send you one of those Mexican sweat towels to dab. Someone did. Why did I think this? What is this? I don't know. Mini wireless hands. What? Is it addressed to me or you?

It's addressed to you. Let me see that. It says liberal wig for veto, but how is this a wig? That's clearly not a wig. The fuck? Is it going to jump out? It's a wig. Is it a bomb?

How is that a wig? What the fuck is in there? What is this? It says a wig! Is it a bomb? How is that a wig? What the fuck is in there? What is this? It says right here wig for veto It's addressed to wig for veto? It says liberal wig for veto Should I open it with my head on it? I don't know because it's clearly not a wig

That's a tiny box Is it a wig? Is it like just really folded up? That is a car I think they sent the wrong thing What the fuck? Is it like just really folded up? That is a car. I think they sent the wrong thing. What the fuck? Did they send that by accident? Is this a car that's a mouse?

Is it a mouse? It's a mouse, but they put liberal wig. Oh, that's a cute little mouse. I didn't know you could get mice like this. Did they mean this? We have been talking about that I need a mouse for the computer or whatever. Yeah, okay. Well, thanks, buddy. Is it Bluetooth or something? It's not a wig. No, it's not a wig,

but maybe they just sent it. You cock tease idiot. Maybe they just sent it to the... How did we not know that it's not a wig when it was just a tiny little box in this before we opened it? Hold on, is there a note inside that explains here's a mouse or something? Can they send a note? Yeah. What does it say?

Wireless mouse. Nothing. You can send a thank you. No. No, there's no message. There's no note. From Darius. Give me my little car.

It says it's for Vito. I want to play with my car. Okay, so our problems are rickety shit, dating advice from women, women Dating advice from women Uh, women's dating advice And then yours is Lack of congressional term limits And watching a man drown

Watching a man drown Watching a man drown himself On purpose For some reason Okay Uh, go to biggestproblem.show Biggestproblem.show Next

Atron.com slash biggestproblem to vote End of the month live show I think we're going to try and live stream it It will be on a Saturday Okay So make sure you don't miss that Okay Guys, the Patreon is doing great

All of Eric July's fans are really mad They go Oh, these guys don't have any fans or whatever else and it looks like we got some fans yeah some people like it and we still have the biggest we have more fans than you have hair on your shoulders eric shawai has hair and you can still watch the uh the bonus episode that apparently made a million go insane the biggest problem in isM 2 is still available. Where we're reviewing a pirated comic. I don't get it. Like all these guys, all these guys that are now ganging up on Nick Rikita, like all they

do is shit on movies they didn't pay for. On movies. No, just movies. So what? You can't like criticize your buddy's comic? Why? Especially he's not our buddy. No one's asking. I don't give a fuck about it. No one's asking Nick Riccata to make fun of him.

He specifically said, I'm not going to read it. I'm not going to talk about his comic because he's a buddy. I don't want to shit on him. Weird is that. Every friend of yours ever can't ever say anything? You're not friends with Eric July. You're friends with Nick. But what is this idea of, like, well, it's totally out of line to, like,

criticize a comic? Like, why? Because his totally out of line to like criticize a comic. Like why? Cause his feelings are hypocrites. It's like, they can't possibly process that they spend all day and they go, they're like, well, cause he's independent.

I'm like, guys, I've seen you guys. That's the worst kind of creator. Right. Cause they're not any good. And I've seen you guys be like, Oh,

look at this dumb indie comic. And it's like about gay characters or whatever. You like And I've seen you guys be like, oh, look at this dumb indie comic. And it's like about gay characters or whatever. Like, I've seen you guys go at small creators all the time. Or like, again, as we always bring up, like, you're attacking, like, guys who might work for Marvel. But at the end of the day are like just, you know, hired fucking writers and artists who are not making millions of dollars working on these things. Yeah. So it really comes down to well he's trying to change Things I'm like by making shit

Like by making it worse yeah he's making It worse okay that's the part I don't know Man hey Dick hey Vito Hi what's up You know you cannot let Maddox kick your Ass at making YouTube videos The dude has not posted In a fucking

Year dude And he has A solid End of the video On Justin Wang Bro And you can't even post those Fucking reviews of the movies in time I put it up

Step your fucking game up man Bro You gotta do this You're the new No you're not Um Yeah Okay

Bro Just check that shit out I'm. Bro, just check that shit out. I'm doing other... You gotta get that shit out. I'm working on the comic book, man. That's like a whole fucking thing. It's a lot of work. So I haven't been putting up a lot of YouTube... Don't do that.

Don't fucking... I don't need this shit where it's like, yeah, okay, you do this, this, this, this, and this, but you didn't make YouTube videos enough. Like, okay, whatever. I have a lot of shit that I'm fucking working on, goddammit, this, and this, but you didn't make YouTube videos enough. Like, okay, whatever. I have a lot of shit that I'm fucking working on, goddammit. Okay, here's another one. Hey, Vito, I heard about your, like, father skull situation.

Have you ever thought about, like, just purchasing a replica skull from Amazon and then doing some culpable shit so that it speaks to you in your father's voice? You know, maybe Set up an increasingly Absurd shrine Make a YouTube video About it You know Monetize

Just think about it I want the real skull You gotta have a real skull I want the real skull You gotta get a real skull We need to We need to make I wanna pass a law

First born child Has first claim To the skull Yeah If any Dumb fuck Uh Crematorium Fails to sever the head born child has first claim to the skull. Yeah. If any dumb fuck crematorium fails to sever the head

before whatever million dollars in damages. Wow. The skull is the most important thing. Okay. I should have it. Crematorium's out of business. Well, don't fuck around. You got to cut the head off. You can't just burn everything. Okay. And if it's a burial, he cuts the head off at can't just burn everything okay um and if you're if it's a

burial he gets he cuts the head off at the funeral and everyone watches fair yeah yeah you hand the oldest the ants or make it a guillotine situation that's in clean yeah you know the the eldest so you say gaston like french but guillotine you say not in a french way well how am i supposed to say guillotine guillotine it's closer guillotine here hey dick hey vito this is lucky and the biggest problem in the universe is morons that are too dumb and proud to settle i work in copyright enforcement so there's a lot of overlap with trademark and the thing about settling is that you get to negotiate mutual terms and then keep it confidential. Yeah. When an arrogant idiot who thinks that they can't do anything wrong is confronted, they get it in their head.

I'm the good guy. I can't lose. I'm not going to concede defeat by settling. Damn the consequences. So when one party makes zero concessions, like hypothetically refusing to abandon the use of someone else's registered trademark. Talking about ICA. Everything escalates to litigation really, really fast. It ends up costing everybody more money.

It takes way too much time. And at the end of the final determination is public record. So everybody gets to see just how badly you got smacked down and how much money you lost, all because you were both stupid and overconfident at the same time. Now, after the complaint is filed, you can still settle, but you look like an asshole the entire way. So that's the biggest problem.

We'll have to chat more on the subject. Coming back. Thanks, bud. So you read the new lawsuit filings or whatever? Yeah, I read them on my Rumble stream. Somebody told me that they're just like, just don't put the name on T-shirts and hats. Is that correct?

No, no, no, no, no. It's trademark infring infringement the whole thing so um titles of comics are trademarkable sure like the adventures of superman you know so you can't call it isom and that's that's an infringement the t-shirts of infringement the hats and infringement calling the naming the character doesn't matter yeah i'm fucking jesus christ call him mickey, doesn't fucking matter. Naming the comic... Call him Mickey Mouse, but sure.

Yeah, you could have a character named Mickey Mouse. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, sure. If it's a nickname or whatever, yeah. I was going to say... You can't name the comic Isom, though. Well, but he could rename it to, like, the Incredible Isom. The Giant Retard Isom.

You could easily change... I don't think he's going to call it that. The Stupid Hairy-Shouldered Fuck Isom That Doesn't Know Isom. You could easily change the stupid hairy-shouldered fuck Isom that doesn't know how to run a business. Can you call it Isom Ill-Advised? Probably not. Yeah? You can call it the actual name of the title.

Right. I mean, that is a problem. But the other problem is it's a giant, it's a Christian-themed comic character. Yeah. So the confusion is,'s a uh it's a giant it's a christian themed comic character yeah so the confusion is is a normal person gonna look at this and say i don't know it kind of seems like one's coming from the other there's a confusion here i don't know what it is um that's been the weird thing is people are like it's a problem i think i was on sitch and adam and they're like well do you think it's like possible for somebody to get confused i'm like well i kind of did when

he first announced the name. Yeah. I Googled Isom, and I saw that it was a church, and I was like, oh, is he working with them? I wonder if they're related in some way. And they're like, no, you didn't. That didn't really happen. I'm like, no. Okay, then fuck off, then.

Go fucking kill yourself, then, you fucking asshole. You dumb fuck. God fucking damn it. Do you think you're litigating it right now? Fuck you. I mean, I don't want him to lose his trademark, but also if he can avoid it by making a slight name change, just do that.

But then he's got to reprint all his fucking comics. I think he could. I'm hoping that he could talk to them and say, listen, just let me sell the ones I've printed, and I'll never do it again. I think that's reasonable. They would probably agree to that, hopefully. I hope they don't. I hope they do. agree to that, hopefully. I hope they don't.

I hope they do. How's that? Stop. I hope they butt... Why are you so conciliatory? He's calling you a fucking pedophile, bro. Eric Giles on the line calling you a fucking pedophile.

Because I have weird standards where I go, look, he can say the worst fucking shit about me, but that doesn't mean I want someone to go to his head and blow his head off with his shotgun.

I didn't say that. I know, but I'm saying... I just said I hope he loses his trademark glove too. But I'm saying I can be in a dispute with someone and not want. I don't know if someone shoots him. Or do you think those two are the same? But I'm saying I can want him. Look, I want.

Here's all I ever wanted was for people to know that his comic sucks. Yeah, that's it. I don't need him to lose his job. I don't need his employees to suffer. I don't need, you know, horrible things to be delivered on to him. He called me the N-word three times. That word has kept...

But it has nothing to do with his trademark. I don't care if he has his trademark. It would not make me happy if he lost it. I would not care. Oh, really? Because I'm going to throw A big fucking party You can throw a party Go nuts I just like

I'm gonna buy all the The ministry eyes So I'm shit I find it uninteresting Honestly I'm like Yeah well you should've Done better And obviously you shouldn't

Have printed so many copies With that name I mean I'll say He's a fucking idiot For printing you know 50,000 100,000 copies Before making sure

He had the trademark Locked down You know but at the end Of the day I'm going to take that much fucking glee out of it. Why? I take way more glee out of people photoshopping him as a fat fucking retard getting owned by a bunny and a turtle. That's funnier to me. Yeah, but it's also funny if he gets raped for cash by a church. I mean, that is pretty funny.

He got his fans to review bomb a church. Like, do told, he got his fans to review bomb a church. Like, do you know how fucked up that is? It's like basically spray painting a swastika. Allegedly. He did not tell his fans to,

but. He did. He basically said to do it. He said, you know. He's leading a hate campaign against a fucking ministry. He made people upset

with this ministry and it seems like some people took action. He did it to get revenge on them for their, for just saying about their lawsuit, not even filing it. I don't know. I don't care. At the end of the day.

You're tired of fighting. I'm not tired of fighting. It's very simple. That's the stupidest thing. This is a simple situation. A big, dumb, loud mouth with a bunch of retarded friends all said, We're going, no. I said, trademark infringement is illegal. That's your line. situation a big dumb loud mouth with a bunch of retarded friends all said something illegal going no i said trademark infringement is illegal that's your line my line is that they all said we're

gonna destroy dcn marvel comics we're the future of the comic industry blah blah blah and then we read the comic and went you guys are insane this sucks and that's funny because they're idiots and they actually believed it yeah and now everybody is telling them, you guys are idiots. This comic is terrible. This weird conservative gaslighting group or whatever where you all jerk each other off and go, Oh, I just read The Adventures of Laser Man and Buttface. It's the greatest fucking thing ever. Everybody buy a copy.

It's like, okay, well, we know what you're doing. You're all just. I hate to get mad. It's transparent at this point you all most of you are making shitty comics not all of you exactly okay so we we poked a little hole in your fucking jerk off session and said hey look all these guys are jerking each other off because they're gay and they suck at making comics and uh it drove them fucking insane. He should settle in some way. I don't know.

It's his fucking business. I don't know. Sure, you can say it's funny. I just don't care about it at all. The idea that I'm out here running secret operations because I care about his fucking trade. I don't. Bunnies, all the bunnies in the audience. The bunnies are good. You know what I mean.

You can read between the lines. No, there's no lines to read between. Shut the fuck up. Stop it. You can read between the lines. There are no lines. Don't do anything. Stop it. Just post bunnies. There are lines everywhere. Bunnies. My bunnies, you know exactly what I'm saying. Help Dick collect the black gem. He almost has

the black gem. Oh, I got that. Black gem's in my sight The black retard gem Is in my sight Once he has all seven He will be all powerful Even my power grows With each retard I don't need all seven

I just get stronger With each one At the end of the day I'm like I'm like Crashmore A dumb man Made a dumb comic book I made fun of it

And for some reason The internet just decided That was the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever That this brave black millionaire Needs to be shielded From a fat guy and a Mexican Telling him he doesn't understand 3X structure You guys are gonna need a bigger shield

I'm gonna tell you this CBS didn't have a big enough shield for me You think your fucking little indie comic's going to be... Okay. Oh, my God. This is never going to end. Here we go. I can't believe that Eric July calls Vito a map when he's obviously a globe.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah, I got it. I got there. Thank you. Oh, yeah, we got to do your weigh-in, too. We do got to do it I got there Thank you Oh yeah we gotta do Your weigh in too We do gotta do it

After super chats I think we do it After super chats right Yeah Don't bring the show down now We gotta save the disappointment For the end of the show Alright do you wanna do

You wanna read super chats now Let's read some super chats Bunnies and chats Don't forget guys First of the month I want bunnies everywhere In all of Eric's live streams And you guys know What I'm talking. I want bunnies everywhere in all of Eric's live streams. And you guys know what I'm talking about.

I want bunnies fucking everywhere, flooding them up. One billion bunnies hopping right up your ass. Everywhere you are, I want bunnies. If you want to throw a turtle in, feel free. A couple tortoise interferences. Maybe the tortoise will interfere with his chat. Guys, don't forget. First of the the month re-up your patreon subscription help us with the only i'll say this look i'm not i don't want to grub for money but literally the only language that eric july and

his people seem to understand is financial success yeah you can You can go, this comic's bullshit. They go, well, it made money. You can go, well, the character doesn't make any sense. They go, well, it made money. Yeah. And they come at us and they go, your podcast sucks. And we go, yeah, but it made money. It made money. And they go, fuck.

We can't argue with that. So if you want to make Eric July upset, throwing money at us is a very good way to do it. Scroll down a little bit. We missed this from last week. Oh, last week. That's where we ended, yeah. Luca, I'm sorry we missed it. I upset throwing money at us is a very uh good way to do it scroll down a little bit is this from last week oh last week yeah Luca I'm sorry we missed it Luca D's nuts can I get a drum roll for this my god 100 from Luca what's up my can I say that n words I'm a little when can I say that you're making it it's n words you're making it, it's N-Words. You're making it sound like

he wrote something bad. I know, but, well, he spelled it out, N-Wards. Oh, yeah,

I do that on my show. I'm a little high and a lot drunk, but I hope this money will boost your spirits, Vito. Don't be a sad F-slur, be a happy F-slur.

Thank you. You were all bummed out last week. I wasn't bummed out, I was terrified that a crazy psychopath, you are like, you just shrug everything off. I need that gem.

You need the gem. You have a gem in your sights. I have no gems. I've collected no chaos emeralds. Okay. All I knew was an insane black man is telling his entire audience that he's going to sue me into the ground. That fear. I have that fear, but it tells you when you're doing

something correct. But I was happy that literally a, but it tells you when you're doing something correct. I was happy that literally a day later after everyone told him, you're an idiot and you have no case. When did I say I was going to sue anybody? I never said I would sue nobody. Wheezy, did I say I would sue? People are literally commenting like, when are you going to sue those two guys? When did we say we were going to sue?

I just said that they would be going to prison and that it would let's see how much it would cost them I just said there would be severe legal consequences I did not mean that we'd be engaged in some sort of a lawsuit who said anything about a lawsuit I did not

and I was like alright well I guess he's not going to sue me then thank you Eric for not suing me. Drunken Atheist Studio for five. I love how Eric's Muppets are all calling the lawsuit against him baseless because reasons. Yeah, I mean, it's not a baseless lawsuit, sadly. Every lawyer who has weighed in on it has said, no, he's got to deal with this.

He can't go, this is some sort of gay-off that I need to, uh, could I raise the defense of? You don't know. You don't know. The gay-off that you weigh in on? Have you heard of gay ops that I need to, uh... Could I raise the defense of... Your Honor, Your Honor. These are the gay ops that you're waiting for? Have you heard of gay ops? Have you heard of gay versus ops in the Supreme Court? Now, unlike heterosexual ops, which are very well understood in the realm of law, a gay op is perhaps when you have been tricked into filing a lawsuit against me. Have you ever seen a man wearing a tank top and a tie?

Because today you have. There is a man, I like to think of him as more of a bunny rabbit who has been coming at me in my business for many, many months and Your Honor, this is my livelihood. This case is dismissed. Please leave. Your Honor, I have many employees and

these employees are being terrorized by this bunny rabbit and the answer is the gavel. And that's when the gem is created. That's when you run in and grab the job. I like the Highlander, except they're retard. And I know everything. Cool for five.

Thank you, Dick, for the bonus episode. Wish you were there. Vito. I got to listen to the bonus episode at the Dick Show. Patreon.com slash the Dick Show, correct? It's lemonparty.org. I moved it, too. Shut up.

Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Glad everyone is here for these happenings. Lots going on. Gun Ranger. A lot of people are missing out on a lot of fun. We're having a lot of fun. A lot of fun. There's some stress in between the fun, but when the stress dissipates, I go, man, this

is better than ever. We're at the top of our game. I have no stress at all about anything, and I'm only having pure euphoria and fun. Thanks to everybody who sends me messages telling me not to kill myself, because it's really, it's been helpful. Let's put it that way. I've never had a fight where I've been on the side of a sympathetic character. It's always just been me and I'm just like so unsympathetic.

You're like, man, I fucking hate that guy, but he's right. I don't know if I'm a sympathetic character, but your words of encouragement have helped make this insanity much better. Gun Ranger 5, what's dumber? Maddox spending $30,000 on a website or July getting a whole warehouse employees to sell t-shirts and comics? Yeah, the warehouse is dumber.

The warehouse is definitely dumber. Dumb. Very dumb. It's too much money. Yeah. Red for two. Billion Bunny Battalion bunnies. One billion bunnies.

Love it. One billion bunnies. Pop quiz for two. Hashtag Maddox lost again cheese in my pockets Velveeta for 10 every Friday I thank Allah that I'm not watching a podcast hosted by Dick Masterson and boogie to 988 oh wow yeah thanks for a good show every week Buster Baxter and big chungus I'll be the chungus red for five tortoise interference tortoise interference man I'm a big old turtle Red for five

Why do you think people Revere a rabbit's foot Using a rabbit as an insult Is dumb It is dumb It makes no sense The god of sleep 215

For two dollars Infinitards The war of the infinitards The war of the The war of infinitards Has begun Okay PSI Chris for two

Boogie couldn't handle The hot goss. Would perish. Yeah. Benjamin for five. Vito said emboldering instead of emboldening. Well, that's close enough. Lloyd Lewin is here for three.

Says, my livelihood. My livelihood. Rusty Shackelford for two. Why is Dick sweating so damn? I was wondering the same thing. I'm very hungover. I got, I probably drank two bottles of sake last. I drank way too much sake.

I tried calling you last night. You were wasted. Black Angus reviews for two. Thank you. Oh, this is for the countersuit. We're going to need it. Darius Ren Akofagas. Yeah, we're going to pretend to, Eric July.

Yeah. Everyone's going to file fake lawsuits. It's a big fun game for YouTubers against. For five euros, just train trained veto out of we with a new sound clip well i gotta say we sometimes i mean do you maybe not maybe i really just need to remove that word from my vocabulary entirely jayden for five biggest problem the universe is the industrial revolution and its consequences for the human race peas love the hungover cop stash thanks thank you lloy Lloyd for You do say it a lot

We? We Yeah I know It's like hard for you To say I Yeah I've noticed I think it's just

A weird thing I do I don't know And also I'm just Constantly thinking about All the other pedophiles That I associate myself with And I think of us As a community

Fuck I'm not allowed To make those jokes anymore Yeah you are I don't care They already got the tweets. Now they're going to clip it. It's never going to go away. Lloyd Llewyn for $7.99 Australian.

Eric July looks like Mossman from Masters of the Universe. Once you see it, you can't unseen it. Mossman. M-O-T-U. Oh, sorry. I didn't fucking abbreviate it.

Well, you should have done that. I know who it is. Yeah, it looks just like you Sure yeah Are we allowed to make this comparison Or is it racist It's a little racist Okay

Yeah Cause he's He's a big hairy guy Okay Yeah Who loves dick Uh let's see Chris Schofield is here for five

Maddox would kick the crap Out of Eric July in a fight God I'd pay to see that I would pay to see it I don't know about that I don't want him to link up though Maybe they can make a You know

League of extraordinary retards Yeah that's funny To get their gems back Nope That man has our gems I think we could get the gems back If we just Work together

And we could If you a lawsuit That would Allow us to obtain the gems In a court of law Yeah Let's do that I know the perfect lawyer For this Eric you a lawsuit that would allow us to obtain the gems in a court of law. Yeah, let's do that. I know the perfect lawyer for this, Eric.

Well, can you introduce me to him? Is he a good lawyer? I'm only allowed to contact paralegals now, but I'll let them know that I've got another lawsuit brewing up. I've heard you have the power to disguise yourself as a female journalist. It's one of your magic powers that you could use. I'm a master of disguise. In fact, I even disguised myself as

my girlfriend to get her to harass my ex-girlfriend. That's fascinating. And I disguised myself as a man who knows how to write comic books. So together, we could work and we could potentially outwit our enemies. We're both good writers. Let's start there. Let's not get into who's the better writer.

We're both good. Yes. I agree with you very much. Can I borrow some space in your warehouse? Absolutely. We have plenty of room. You could live in my warehouse. I'd like a 10 year lease If that's okay

Yes I will have some Slime type bed sheet Pray for you So you can Sleep tight in my warehouse Wouldn't that be nice? What do you think about

New metal? Let's get down to Brass taxes here Well I am actually In a rap rock band Known as Backwoods That's not new metal, is it?

Well, it is in a similar genre. We may have some disagreements there. Do you like Pantera? Well, my bassist runs all my money and he likes Pantera

very much. I've always wanted to play the bass. I think it's the best instrument. Benjamin for 10 Eric July would probably kill Vito But if the murder gets July arrested

Then it would have been worth it Yeah I could see him pulling He's not that big You think he'll ever pull up on me? You're just afraid because he's black? No, no I think

He seems like a desperate man I think he just needs to He's gonna suck your cock then He won't kill you He didn't put a jewelry ad in Ice Home 2. Oh, really? I wonder if there's trouble at home. I wonder if this is what that's all about.

John Vanderzelt for five. Sue Eric for all of his arm hair. Yeah. One birds, two stone. Oh, two birds, one stone. Two birds, one stone. Sure. Bob Duato for five.

Maddox is totally different from Eric Geliak because he nailed the midpoint twist to his Justin Wang A stereos video Someone read save the cat Uh He did construct an entire narrative arc As tenuous as it was kind He got the refusal to the call And that's like pretty much his entire video

I didn't want to do this I didn't want to have to do this So then I heroically totally Failed and then I told him to leave me alone. Yeah, he never gets to like what he got out of it. Were we talking about on the phone where he goes, and I don't understand why he was so upset with me because I never tweeted about him.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, but you filed a lawsuit for $50 million. But I never talked about him on Facebook. And then he had those graphics. I'd be suing him for millions of dollars. How many times did I talked about him on Facebook. And then he had those graphics. You sued him for millions of dollars. How many times did I talk about him on Instagram? Never. Right, but you sued him for $50 million, I think, or whatever amount it was.

But not on Twitter. But not on Twitter. I did not tweet about him. I don't understand why he's so upset. Chucks for two. Happy episode 104. Two years of shows. Two years. Wow. 52-52. Look at that, and we're just getting. Two years of shows. Two years. Wow. 52-52. Look at that, and we're just getting to our first lawsuit together.

Oh, God. We'll see. Luca D's nuts for 10. Just wondering. I sent a $100 Super Chat last week, and it came in so late it wasn't read. Oh, we read it, Luca. You got it. So where's the rest of the 90 bucks, Luca?

$10? It was the $100 we read at the top of the show. I mean, we know you got money throwing around $100 Super Chats. $10 to... What the fuck, man? Luca, thank you. Sometimes we miss the last minute Super Chats, but we definitely... That's why you gotta get him in right away.

Well, you gotta get in on this show. We're not just sitting there refreshing. The first Super Chat of this show being the first Super Chat is good. I almost didn't want to read it. That's such bullshit. We're not just sitting there refreshing. You got to be the first super chat of this show. Being the first super chat is good. I almost didn't want to read it. That's such bullshit. We're going to read it. Pop quiz for two. This is hashtag we too. Let's use that.

John Vanderswelt for two. Benjamin for ten. Not everyone has a buoyancy in the water life hack veto. You walk around all day with a life vest on. Is that true? You float more? cuz I'm fat I was gonna say bigger. I don't know how that works Fat baby. Yeah, I guess a fat baby can uh don't they don't they teach toddlers how to

Why are you talking about fat babies? Cuz like that's when you learn swimming is like when you're young or whatever so they have like you know Yeah, kids do fat kids do better. Fat kids do better in swimming class. I don't know where the fuck I was going with that. You should host a swimming class. I'm not going to host a swimming class. I don't want anything to do with it.

Like babies. Any kids ever. I don't want to see a kid. I don't want to know any kids. I don't want to talk to any kids. Leave me alone. John Vanderswold for two. Richard, just put a mini fridge under your desk.

Okay. Probably help with the heat too. No, it would make too much noise. It's the vent. I fucked up the vent. Yeah, you fucked up the vent. God of Sleep 215 for two. Maddox was hoisted by his own petard.

Retard. He was hoisted by his own retard. Yes. A retard was hoisted by a petard. And win for five. The best wedding gift I could ever ask for is watching this duality of retardation play out in real time. Good showing, boyos.

Absolutely. I have more retards coming. I'll find all seven. There's all seven. I will find them. I will claim their gems. Claptrap to destroy for 10. Weekly money give. Y'all always deliver. Thank you, Claptrap.

We love you. Dumb username for five. I think Maddox made the Justin Wang video before Lotex died. He mentioned him, but not his death. Has he been sitting on it for more than a year? Yes, that is confirmed. There are screenshots that are three years old. Gora Sero for 10. Vito, stop replying to the haters in the comments section.

Even when you're right, you look dumb. Is it just another outlet for Twitter? Speaking of outlets, you forgot to plug the show voted up. I got to piss. I'll be right back. Give me the mouse. You're going to read more without me? What else? Okay, you want me to just fill time? Yeah, play like a video or something.

I don't know how to... Well, you said don't read super chats. Hey, everybody. How are we doing? Dick's going to the bathroom for some reason. And for some reason, I'm not allowed to read super Chats while he's gone, even though he doesn't need to hear every fucking Super Chat. I'm going to take his keyboard. Matty. Hey, Matty. Matty, the dog is here.

Whoa, you know what we can look at, guys? Don't forget, if you really want to make Eric July just furious, the one thing that would absolutely drive him nuts is to head on over to Indiegogo. Let me see. Is this a toucan? Head on over to Indiegogo and get yourself a copy of Super Killer, a superhero comedy for the whole family you can also go

to superkiller.org learn more about the characters and the world we're at 76 000 can you believe it uh beautiful covers beautiful art and no it's okay i get to do my plug go buy super killer if you haven't uh it's gonna be great oh shocker you were able to plug super killer shut the fuck up shut the fuck up what Shut the fuck up. What do you care? Someone has told me that we keep getting tricked into thinking this is way more money than it actually is. So I want to see. A-R-S-3,000.

What the hell? You're in the find box. Now I could be a backseat fucking mouse guy. Shut up. Okay. So $8. $9. Why does it show up as red? Fucking ban that guy. Fucking mouse guy Shut up Okay so Eight dollars Nine dollars Why does it show up as red?

Fucking ban that guy Ban you Chill man you're banned No it's Feday Soul Plus Feday Soul Plus you're banned ARS 3000 Which appears in red So it makes you think it's a lot

Why the fuck would they do that? It's actually only nine dollars I shit on nine dollars So I kept getting excited Because it's Whenever we get a red one It's like a 50 100 bucks this is for

$9 yeah it's it's really Moronic okay well thanks for the $9 disguised in some other foreign Currency to make us think it's more maybe He lives there though no I've actually Seen these people in the discord going hey you Can change your location To troll the show

You cocksuckers. You will all be banned. Which I should not have mentioned because now, please don't do that. Between Maddox's new video and the death threats I've been getting from... Also, that lets you access the leave a giant message thing? Dude, that's so broken. So if you want to leave a really long message on somebody's super chat, you just change your fucking local currency. What the hell?

And then you only only gotta pay 10 bucks instead of paying the full amount. Between Maddox's new video on the death threats I've been getting from EricsChristianLynchMob on Twitter, this has been the funniest week of the year. Thank you guys. Love the show. By the way, I'm surprised that Maddox didn't talk about Justin's stolen iTunes feed video.

Yeah, that's the other thing. He completely left out the fact that Justin has made videos on him before Therefore he has a huge Conflict of intro well Of course he does have a conflict He has like a reason for making it yeah It's that it's a guy who hates him okay well this is

A real one Dick can you give me a Uh what do you call it A drum roll here From Chillman For 200 Australian dollars Which is the equivalent of 130 US dollars, says Vito. So that means I get all that money. Thank you, Chillman, for the $130, none of which goes to Dick.

I don't think you want to play that game. Yeah, never mind. That means you get all the bunny money, which is not good for me. Claptrap to Destroyer for five five I also forgot bunnies and chats Thank you chill man Thank you clap trap JJ for five Remember the first hint that Isom was a bad comic

It was the jewelry ad It was the jewelry ad That jewelry ad didn't even print correctly It was like cut off I would cut my own finger off And put one of my your girlfriend's shit in my It's so weird that people were defending it I'm like bro, there's an Etsy fucking ad in the middle of a comic book That's the stupidest thing in the world. Yeah

God of sleep 215 for five says Carol with the thrift store like a giant cock like Fight Club Oh, that's odd. A giant cock. I'll just get back to this riveting story. This riveting, grounded story about a guy looking for a girl before he goes to hell and fights hell monkeys who are raping his employee. Oh, God, it really is self-insert. It's about saving your employees. I didn't realize that. ISOM 2 is about loving your employees so much that you have to save them from hell

and then give them a job stocking boxes in your fucking warehouse. Woo. That guy, that guy's got some fucking problems going on. God of sleep for five. Careful with the thrift store. Women will spend all your money and fill every square inch of floor in the house. Just slap shit out of their hands.

Dumb username for two. Biden is slapstick. Trump is a roaster. Yeah. Shredford 2010 for $5. Trump is a roaster. Yeah. Shred for 2010 for $5. Riggity stuff. Yeah.

Drives me up the wall, especially when one chair leg is slightly shorter than the others. It's like an inconvenient rocking chair. It's fucking rickety as shit, man. That's my whole house.

I hate it. N64 for 10. Dick, can you play the quip or say it in a nasally voice if it's easier? Targeted harassment. Targeted harassment. Targeted nasally voice if it's easier targeted harassment targeted harassment targeted harassment no it's uh targeted harassment campaign targeted harassment campaign it's always a campaign just move on from fucking patent and literally the only thing was that wang went oh

yeah hey maddox did a he did a speaking gig like two months he posted like it was like a two month old clip right it wasn't even like an upcoming gig i don months he posted like It was like a two month old clip right It wasn't even like an upcoming gig I don't Think no he made fun of a gig he already did Yeah and then they were gonna have him Do another one getting it cancelled next Year yeah that's The stupidest thing in the fucking world

That whole video The whole video on A bonus episode of the whole speech The video makes it sound like Wang got a speaking engagement canceled that was coming up, when in fact he linked to one that had already happened, and then next year

they didn't invite Maddox back because he fucking sucks at talking. Yeah. And is not interesting. We watched, I just like jumped around to the speech that he gave, and he's on a panel of actual Hollywood insiders. And he interrupts one of their stories to tell one of his own stories. He's like, oh my God, that's so fucking embarrassing.

He's like, recently, recently, I've been streaming on Twitch and I made $200. That's so fucking embarrassing. It's so funny. They're probably like, well, I just sold a fucking picture to Miramax for 2.5 million. I like to pretend to be a banana on Twitch. You know, actually, it's funny that you mention that because he's got this

fake ass. You know, that reminds me of the time that I was pretending to be a fucking cowboy and I made $200. $200. What a lot of Hollywood insiders don't know Is there's a variety of characters You can pretend to play

In the digital space I mean I'm like a cosmic gumbo I'm like a Conan A reboot of Conan I have a cowboy I have a girl I'm totally friendly with being a trans You know

I've got a banana I've got a Dracula And I've got a Dracula. And I know what you're thinking. I can't even believe it. Clearly, Justin Wang is the reason this man didn't get invited back. Now, when you're acting as a banana, there's a lot of fruit puns I like to use. For instance, orange, you're glad to see me. I'll usually lead in with that, you know?

And people eat that up. So feel free, take notes on that. Snazzy Raz for 20, great episode. Appreciate all the content you guys produced this year. It's appealing for everybody. That's a good one, yeah. We've got a very good show tonight. Oh, Jacob Cercia for

500 Japanese yen. I'm making my own comic called Moses. It will be about 50 pages and be ready this week. AI generated art art better than I saw. Oh, cool. I'm looking forward to it. James Gardner. Did you see Jism? I did see Jism. Wait, let me pull up Jism. Bring up Jism here. That was

hilarious. Jism is one of Eric July's lesser known characters. Possible to change it to. Possible spinoffs. Yeah. Oh yeah, a new character. Oh yeah, if he has to change the name, I think Jism could be a good one. Wait, it's on

what should I search? I put it on mine, but it's going to be farther down if you want to go to Is that really him? Somebody told me that there's a video Yeah, so I guess there's a video that's like a time-lapse video of, here's me in my warehouse, the only thing I ever talked about

Warehouse warehouse warehouse and if you slow it down Because it's time-lapse video. There's just Eric July being like kind of a chubby He's like a gremlin with all this hair going down his back Why is one part was the upper part of his arm gigantic and then he's got like this little chicken well This is not gigantic. It's like but compared to the rest of his arm, it's like so weirdly disproportionate. I can't. Yeah, there's so many things it looks like that I'm not allowed to say. But it does look like those things.

Apparently, he will ban you if you post this picture to him. So maybe don't do that. Well, he'll like block you on Twitter. Why? He posted it. He put up the video. Yeah. So I don't know why he's upset about it. Man, he'll like block you on Twitter. Wyatt, he posted it. He put up the video, yeah. So I don't know why he's upset about it.

Man, he must really hate his wife. Fucking your wife with a body like this? Look, I don't have a good body, but I also don't tell people. Yeah, but you don't have a wife that you're fucking sticking it to with this body. I'll say, I refuse to engage in any critics unless they can engage in a fitness contest against me. I was like, well, you're going to be fitting his body in a new tank top size, buddy. Oh my God. Look at this guy. Once he gets some jism shirts

and XXL, he'll be good to go. Yeah, XX XXXL. Maybe that's why he's got the beard. He just keeps growing the beard out so he doesn't have to see his enormous gut. Is what I'm saying illegal? No. I just know

that he's watching all of this. This is disgusting. I'm worried. I don't know what this man is capable of at this point. Who? Him or me? Eric July. Oh. I picture a situation where he goes bankrupt. Yeah, he's going bankrupt. He's sitting on a pile of comics he's not allowed

to sell because he fucked up his trademark Yeah And he goes Well Just to put a keystone On this Me being the ultimate Badass thug

He pulls up to my house And I don't know what he does I don't know If Eric came to me I would shave all that I would Gotta get that shave already I would booby trap his back hair

I'm genuinely I'd get him in a fucking camel clutch. I'd fucking end him. Blow out that knee real quick. He's not like a reasonable individual. It's like dealing with a madman. You think he's going to come kill you? I don't think so.

You don't want to take that off the table? I don't know what this man's cable is. Is this the funniest thing ever or what? What do we got here? My livelihood. Someone mocking Maddox. Yeah, and then someone says. Maddox needs to respond.

Making light of people going after my income, huh? Are those, and then he mentions his company. Wherever he works. Are those your company values? Do you know you're part of a hate mob that makes fake rape allegations? My livelihood. Jesus, Maddox. Come on. My livelihood. hate mom that makes fake rape allegations? My lively dog! Jesus, Matt. Come on.

My lively dog! Just swim towards the shore. Stop thrashing. So why did he copy and paste it and then put an exclamation point? Why did he do that? My lively dog! Just make a video about how kids can't draw. Their drawings are really bad.

Yeah. And you're better at drawing than them. Like you would never draw a fire truck like that. Yeah, because it's a hairy. Because it's a hairy fire truck. I can't find it. Can you search for JISM? J-I-S-O-M.

Do I want to search for JISM on Twitter? Well, you found it. I did. I think this is how he can go with it. Yeah, this is the way to take it. He is that fat. His arms aren't that big. He's chasing money.

His hat says gay ops, so we know what he's fighting against. Gay? Yeah, he's going to fight against Rabbit Man. Look at all the money. Have we shown? We have not shown the- I'll shoot all this cum all over him. Show that bunny picture of you. If he broke into my house

and tried to attack me, I would jack off and come all over his beard. He's got jism powers, man. Eric, if you ever fucked with me, if you try to break into my house and fucking kill me with your booty assassins, I would jack off and come on your beard. You fat weirdo. You are weird. Not me. He's gonna break

into my house and kill me. Something bad's gonna happen. You fucking moved the browser. Well, it was up there. Everybody could see the picture. They couldn't see me talking about cumming on his beard. They could hear you talking about it. I'm sorry they couldn't see you talking about jizzing on his beard. If Eric even puts one foot in my house, cum right in his beard.

I'm even going to start saving up cum so I could blast cum in his beard so the smell will never go away. He'll just smell my cum all the time until he shaves his beard. Eric, please don't come to my house. Please leave me alone. Eric, you fucking come to my house. Eric, can I just please? Eric, you're fine. It's on.

Game on. You already made fun of your comic. I'm going to turn your beard Into a fleshlight And fuck it And then come in it I gotta wait for Yaira Or Alfie I don't even have another comic To make fun of yet

I won't even be thinking about Yaira I'll be thinking about you While I do it Why don't we just put Those feud aside Until your next comic comes out Or my comic comes out I've been trying to put it aside

The whole time I know And he never has done anything He just keeps attacking me For no reason I know Just cause never has done anything. He just keeps attacking me for no reason. I know. Just because his comic sucks.

Yeah. Well, you know, we'll see. Do you think that's funny? The whole, that I'll come in his beard? Do you think that,

do you think that threatening to sue me is as funny as that? I don't know. I don't know. This whole situation is complicated now. Why would Nick Rikita be friends with someone who says they're going to,

if they get attacked in their home, they'll come in their beard? Yeah, why would he be friends with someone like that? It's a very serious thing that you're saying. That's a sick, demented individual. I could not imagine being friends with a man who'd joke in such a way. I'm not joking. I will. If Eric July attacks me in my house, if he does it at night, a 100% chance that I'm not joking I will If Eric July Rolls up Attacks me in my house

Yeah If he does it at night A 100% chance that I'm hard Yeah And I'll come immediately While I'm fucking his beard Okay And jacking off

Well With his beard Okay Why do I know I'm gonna see this clip on Ripa Goldparo About 20 minutes after the show ends All I'm saying is You come in my A normal person comes in my house

Executed Okay Shot with a gun Sure Criminal minutes after the show ends. All I'm saying is you come in my, a normal person comes in my house, executed. Shot with a gun. Criminal. Eric July comes in my house, getting cum on the beard. Okay. Cumming all over the beard. It's not how I would handle it, but, you know, to each, a man's head castle must be defended.

On the lip. Not on the lip. Not on the upper lip part. Just in the beard part. Not in the mustache. Just in the beard part. Oh, I hear you. I'm gonna get on the lip not on the upper lip part just in the beard part not in the mustache Okay, just in the beard part. Oh, I hear you I'm gonna get on the understand the concept I Understand keep going Jesus Christ No one is encouraging this this This is all in your mind. Okay. Uh, let's see.

James Carter. This is where Riley gets it from. I don't know anything about role model. That's why this is, I just realized my behavior is where Riley gets his attitude from. We've, we've taught a lot of young men how to act on the internet. This is how you end a lot of bad.

They've learned a lot of bad lessons from your side of the table. Okay. Whatever you've taken away from that big, beautiful beard. If you don't want me to come in. All right. James Gardner for 20 bunnies, just hippity hop.

Eric calls gay ops and cops pigeon saw for 20 bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny, Jay Thompson for five. Kind of ironic that comics gate criticized mainstream for pretending to like each other's stuff and saying it was the best ever without reading any

it's a little bit a little bit of hypocrisy uh i like some comics gate guys but some of them are like have eric's dick in their mouth and won't take it out of there it's gonna threaten to fucking sue them and get his cum beard all over them msg enthusiast for 699 canadian eric july doesn't shave his shoulders as a statement. What that statement could be is anyone's guess, but there's no way he's not aware of those shoulder pubes. He's like a woman with unshaved armpits. I mean, shaving your shoulders, I guess it could be difficult, but if everyone's giving

you shit for it at this point. What's your fucking wife for then, man? Get that bitch back. Bitch, shave my fucking shoulders. Take some of that 2.3 million, go to the barbershop, tell them to wax you down. Get a wax. Pervy Light Ghost, give me a drum roll here, Dick. For $100, it's the Billion Bunny March.

It's on. Billion Bunny March is on. Bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny. Thank you, Pervy Light Ghost. Cheeto 605, long live the Million Bunny Army. Billion billion not million yeah billion is that what is that

is this a spaceship oh it's a cigarette bunny stapler what is that looks like a stapler flip bunny I don't think that's a stapler

it doesn't make any sense smoke bunny smoking bunny is that chopsticks chopsticks maybe I don't know can you right click it and find out

I think it's gay porn inspect you know what Maybe I don't know Can you right click it And find out I think it's gay porn Inspect You know what This is a waste Of everyone's time I'm gonna say It's chopsticks Where the hell are we

Oh here we are Perfect like Ghost for five Says My livelihood My livelihood Coup for two You're welcome Vito

Thank you for not Killing yourselves Thank you Coup My livelihood Visualizer for two Bunny Diamond Turtle Yes Michael winning for two The Bunny Diamond Turtle. Yes. Michael winning for two, The Tortoise and the Hare.

Together. Absolutely. United. I'm surprised that that's never been done before. Like a turtle, hare. I'm sure somebody's done something. Tango and cash. Utah-based Armenian for five.

Less than a month after attacking Nick Fuentes, Vito started a literal holy war with a church against a black guy. Is he a fat plagiarist or just fat? I'm going to say just fat. DJ or DK367 for 10 Australian. Please get Taylor for PKI again. We like Taylor. We'll have him back on.

Anytime. I need to go back on PKI. Preston S for two. Wee wee. Luca D's nuts for another 10. Thanks for reading my super chat from last week, guys. Thanks, you. 20. Okay. Still 80 bucks short. No, he's giving us 120 bucks so far. Luca Deez Nuts for another 10 Thanks for reading my super chat from last week guys Thanks you 20 okay

Still 80 bucks short No he's giving us 120 bucks so far Thank you Luca You little money grover motherfucker Venture Tim for 499 TBF the biggest review is a terrible name for your movie review episodes It doesn't make sense Everybody left comments on there saying I like the name the biggest review

It makes sense That's a good name You're retarded I read those comments If I had a YouTube I would go respond to all those guys Tell me they're dumb Heather Smith is here For two hi Heather S How dare you go after

His livelihood And my employees Are gonna get fired All of you Both of these Gem holders get fucked I don't give a fuck About your stupid livelihood I

Well yeah I don't know I'm too charming for 15 I'm not talking about Your head getting blown off Like Vito No I don't want to Blow anyone's head off

That's not what I said I'm saying specifically I don't want that I'm too charming for 15 Stop it What would you guys Last meal be Before being sentenced

To death for gay hops? Help me not get sentenced by building my meme defense at Eric July Armhair. Follow at Eric July Armhair on Twitter. I've been having fun. Eric's Armhair. That's what I'm going to say that and then you're going to start another fucking lawsuit and they're going to go. Oh, see, he said follow him on Twitter. That means they're basically

contracted employees or something. Yeah, who cares? Fuck it. It's such bullshit. Yeah, I told that guy to email him fuck you no i don't give a shit suck my cock i have nothing to do with this i thought it'd be funny and it is stop it stop

i did it so i would get patreons to my show fuck you fucking blow me whatever i have no awareness of this i have nothing to do with this i texted that guy and said yeah fucking email

here i here i'm gonna write you the whole thing send this disavow send it i disavow Send it I disavow If you don't like it Fucking blow me I don't fucking care

Fuck you I Oh my god This is never gonna end And it's gonna be your fault Okay What would our last meal be? I don't know

A nice big plate of pasta or something No I'd have a nice steak I'd have a nice steak I'm gonna get steak this weekend, I think. Oh, yeah? Depending on the weigh-in. Let's see. Let's see how we feel.

Oh, yeah, the weigh-in. Oh, it's coming up. Yeah. Brian David for 10. Oh, shit, I never catch the show live. This is long overdue. Thank you, Brian David. Thanks, Brian.

It's not an excuse, though. Greater volume displacement equals more buoyancy. Makes sense to me. Boochman X for 10. Biggest problem in the universe is ALS Not being able to play magic And Mega Man sucks Vito much love From Western Mass

Fucking sucks You can't play magic with ALS Cause you're all fucking goofy Play it with your feet Here's my fucking mana Don't they have like Don't they have robot stuff now So you can like

Kind of use a mouse And shit better It like stabilizes your shit Yeah they got robots And stuff Play that Magic Arena It's really good The virtual version

God that would suck Much love Western Mass Yeah I get it Hey At least you're not blind You know That's worse right Then you can't see movies

Well how bad is this ALS I don't know If you're blind You can go like Oh nice to meet you Oops sorry I grabbed your boobs there Yeah I don't know You don't blind you can go like Oh nice to meet you Oops sorry I grabbed your boobs there Yeah

I don't know You don't have to see I guess there's different How fat everyone is There's different things God of sleep 215 for two Billion bunny bounce Bounce

Bunny bunny bunny bunny Small goals for five I do miss when this was about Trending topics Not your inner creator drama I literally brought up Fucking congressional term limits No fuck you

Everyone thinks this is hilarious Yeah everyone's having fun Fuck you I'm getting my gem. I don't care. Okay, let's put it this way. I don't care what it costs. When we have record viewing numbers and the Patreon is going up and you're the guy going

like, I wish we could get back to volcanoes and earthquakes and real problems. It's like, you know what? The rest of the audience has spoken, man. They're enjoying it. Yeah. We got a mix. What did he uh we we try we got a mix say about me you get a mix if you guys were perfect veto would be skinny and dick would have a new book if i was if we were perfect no oh you're like an eric july fan i think i have

no idea if you guys were what do you mean if we're perfect if you guys were perfect veto would be skinny and dick i'm thinking he's saying like that's what his ideal version of the show i don't know i think he's saying like we his ideal version of the show. I don't know. I think he's saying we're being judgmental of Eric July or Maddox. I think he's saying, oh, we're creating too much interest. We're being too critical. I've done nothing. I've done absolutely nothing except explicitly I told that guy to email my son and tell them that their trademark is being violated.

Vito, I don't fucking care. I know you don't. I don't fucking care. I know you don't. But I get lumped into it and they go and they go. So they'll go after me. No, they go after me. They don't go after you because they know you don't care. So they go after me because I go, fuck, man. I got a bunch of fucking people and they all keep emailing me and telling me to fuck around. All right.

They know it gets to me. So they go at me. World renowned Geohound for five. You two always make my weekend. Remember to check out my online besties. You got to set them up so they click that shit and then everyone says, well, that's a lie. He's obviously fucking around.

Yeah. Why would you do that? I don't know. That's how you whittle away at them. But that's all they do is they lie and take shit out of context. Yeah. It does. Yeah.

You can't give them anything. Trillion year war, man. Yeah. Okay. After Xenu. We're going after Xenu next Let's take him out He's got the gems

Regardless I'm going to read this whole one You two always make my weekend Remember to check out My online besties Warhammer channel At My Hammer

M-A-I Hammer You two are the Seinfeld Of edgy podcasts Wow What Good What a

What a accolade The Seinfeld Why would you shit on that How about shit It's just like kind of a It's kind of like Oh okay Seinfeld's a little dated

At this point You're too good For that compliment No it's a good It's just a weird It's a weird What's better than Seinfeld Well cause you're saying

You're the Seinfeld of podcasts Means that like the podcast Is over What if it said like You two are the child porn of edgy podcast? That would be terrible and I'm glad they didn't say that. Why don't you name you guys

what's a popular rock band right now? You guys are the Imagine Dragons. You guys are the Jinx. We are the Jinx of edgy podcast. Two for two, please do a My Livelihood shirt. What do you think? It's not a bad one. I own that, though. You should get a little, like, caricature of Maddox.

I had to keep on cucking. MyLivelyhood. Keep on cucking was good. Yeah. I like that. Visualizer for two. Take some lock and load for Eric. Sarah Miller's husband, Mr. Miller, for two.

What's the cost for non-Eric July individuals? On the John for two has an emoji of a purple man. And Koo for two Vito, would you rather Eric's or Maddox sue you? Maddox because he has no money. Oh, you're afraid of money. It would be over. Let's do the

weigh-in. I got a witness over there. I need a witness. I think it's out in the hall. I'll fill time by plugging Superkiller. You can get Vito's comic, superkiller.org

at superkiller.org.org today. You can still buy it. You can still... Don't use her fucking name, you shithead. Where the fuck is the He has the scale Jesus Christ Thank you all for listening

Yeah am I Kramer or Jerry The results of the poll Are in Yeah, am I Kramer or Jerry? The results of the poll are in According to the audience Who can do more push-ups? Maddox or Null from Kiwi Farms Maddox got 42% Null got 58% I do think

I do think Null could do more push-ups than Maddox But it's a close one. What is it? What What do it again do it again, it's the same it's the same both times. Okay, come in here. Oh my god Vito Get in here come back I believe you hold on Vito get in here Hold on

Vito get in here Get in here Get in here Sit down You have to put your Jesus Christ Your pants are off Why don't you take your shirt off

298.2 So that's like what Like 6- seven pounds? From last time? Because it was 306. That's 10 pounds from last time. No, it's not. Yes, it is.

298. Yeah, you were at 308. Was I? Yes, you went from 310.4 to 306, then up to 308, and now you're at 298. Okay, so that's good. It's great. You've lost's great you've lost i've just been drinking water 0.2 pounds oh that's it okay i think you would have lost about 40 pounds if you've just been drinking water uh so that's pretty good all right you've only got uh 27.8 pounds to go yeah hey if it keeps going down that's good

yeah all right veto loses what are you at right now veto loses.com you're at 780 dollars and we got uh three months left uh 95 days okay so you've got to lose... Let's see. 95. We have a witness, by the way, so I didn't fuck around. I believe him. What do you have?

20? What was I supposed to lose? 30 pounds? You lost 12.2 pounds. So I'm three pounds behind because it was supposed to be five pounds every weigh-in. Yeah. So you need to... I'm just going to use the computer to do this.

I don't want to do math. 30 minus 12.2. Okay. That's how many pounds. You got 18 pounds to lose in 90 days. Yeah. You've got to lose. That's like 7.

0.2 pounds a day. Okay. Well, I'll have to get. And then you get 800 bucks. And then I'll. At VitoLoses.com. Well, at least I didn't go up again because that was the worst. You lost a ton of weight.

Yeah. That's incredible. Honestly, I don't know if you. Like, I looked at my face in the mirror and I went, hey, I think something's going on. I think it's working a little bit. Yeah. I'm starting to slimming down a little bit. Oh.

I'm going to get that Ozempic I'm gonna get that Ozempic face I want that Ozempic face Where it's like Like Uh Hey guys I've been Really losing a lot of weight

You look great Thank you You're gonna be the skinny guy On the show I'm the skinny guy On the show Uh Yeah guys

Just uh Don't Don't drink Juice And lemonade And drink Juice And lemonade And soda Juice And I tried that

Prime energy drink And it's It tastes pretty good And it's only 10 calories So I might be able to Replace my Mountain Dew habit Or just do cocaine

Or just do cocaine There's no calories We're on track And I have also Been like weighing myself A little Because before I was like Let me make it a surprise

And now I'm like Because you were afraid I was afraid Yeah you didn't want to look at it But now I've been looking at it And I'm like Okay it's kind of working So you knew already

Before you came in Well I didn't know it was that much Who? So yeah that's good Yeah Good job Thank you I'm proud of you

The audience now Doesn't have to feel as Because last Last month everyone's like Wow that was the most Disappointing thing ever you went up two pounds you fucking retard everyone knew you would fail though but now yeah but i told you my body was you know getting into the spirit of things no fuck you guys guys biggest problem that show uh vote on all the problems don't forget patreon.com Slash biggest problem

We got We got a couple more Super chats here At Luca Deez Nuts Fucking Too late $50 Too fucking late

Another $50 Can you believe Hit refresh one more time Come on Super chats all night We're good We're good We got it

Thank you Luca Thank you everybody Thank everybody Except Eric July Leave me alone I definitely want to Thank Eric July For writing the worst

Comic ever in history Congrats on the W Vito Thank you Koof 50 towards the full 100 It's not that I Still 30 bucks short Thank you for all The donations Luca

We really appreciate it Goodbye Have fun everybody Bye Okay