The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 105

Episode Date: September 9, 2023

Plea Deals, Shitty Shippers, Bible Truthers, Phone Format Paste

I'll keep my cord There now everyone gets to watch you set up the thing I know For some reason the only USB C cord in here is less than a foot long Yeah, I'm real sorry about that way to go. I'm gonna have cords just dangling from the ceiling. Does this work? Does everything work? Not that

work. Oh, there you go. Alright. I don't know why I didn't check on that. I'm always at a disadvantage for this show. Yeah? That's called a softball. Is that what that's called? Is that pause that you left there? Yeah, that's what we call it in the biz. Softball.

I'm always at a disadvantage that I'm in your house. It's your domain. Yeah. You know, so all your stuff you have ready to go, technology, phone chargers. Do you feel like my stuff looks like it helps me, or does it look like a giant hindrance because it's all over the place? That's your own chaotic organization skills. Every time I come in here and there's like 50 of Sean's Diet Coke cans across the table.

This table is amazing. People can't see this table. I'm going to start fining him. Every Diet Coke that he leaves behind I'm gonna find him five dollars and five smooches like okay what do you who oh god there's look at this there's mold in this oh come on what are you doing I don't even know what that was I want people to know that this is what I have to deal with oh you're gonna fucking spill all over my papers and documents that could have been mold in

that fucking glass, Vito. Way to go. Nice fucking presentation that you had to give. How do you not have paper towels in here? Because I don't go around spilling. I don't go around doing jokes with other people's stuff. You know what? I had these stacked, see?

And I was going to get rid of them, but I got distracted by something. I got distracted by all these fucking mock-ups you keep sending me for a fucking shirt, which I've never had to do before. Someone just sends me a shirt, and I'm like, yeah, great, let's go. I don't have fucking 50 like I'm designing a Toyota ad campaign. What do you think about this one? Better here or better here? I don't fucking know, man.

I don't know. Something about it looks messed up. I don't know. Well, that's the reason we've got 100 episodes and we don't have a single piece of merchandise is you're constantly negging every fucking idea that comes your way. I'm like, well, then you put it on Twitter. And what did Twitter say? Meh.

No, some people like it. I think they just don't like the colors. And I agree. And the colors are. I don't fucking. I don't know. Maybe it's the colors then. What am I, a fucking artsman over here?

I don't know. Yeah, you should be at this point. You should be able to weigh in on a thing and go oh I would change that or I would change that No I just say I mean I don't know It looks I don't know I don't love it There's a cool shirt that we're working on That I'm working on

With Dick being a negative Nancy Every time I send him anything I told you I don't know art I don't know what to make it look better Do you want to show anybody any of this Go to the Twitter real quick. Go to my Twitter. See how much fucking time merch takes?

It doesn't take that much time if you just go, yeah, that looks pretty cool. Or very clearly. That's why it's not clean in here. Or just clearly and concisely say, well, this is what doesn't work about it. I don't know what doesn't work about it, though. I'm the best client. I say, I don't love it, and I don't know why. This is just a mock-up.

Like, obviously, it's too tall, but you can say, like, yeah, it's moving in the right direction. This guy's skin is too white. This weird vein is throwing me off in his arm. People have made some suggestions, but I still think the core image works. It just looks like flesh. Look, one solid flesh color. Somebody pointed out that there's too much flesh I think making it black and white

And I made a black and white version Is gonna look good Yeah Someone also suggested putting a tank top on me To break up the amount of flesh And I agree with that So we'll try that How come

Why is my like hairline So ultra realistic I Cause we gave you a fake one And then you complained about it There was a previous version. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

And you kept saying it doesn't look enough like you. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? What is going on here, Vito? Dude, you kept saying it doesn't look like me. What's going on here? And I assumed you meant pull my hairline back like an old man.

Hold on. It looks fine. You're an idiot. You're saying this is the same as this you pull your hair to a different side depending It's pretty close. I Just oh, yeah, is this is this close? I can wait is this how close is this guy? How close is that gentleman to this one right here? We can pull the hairline down.

We had the hairline pulled down. That's fucking this. Whatever. It looks exactly the same. It looks exactly the same. I'm very ripped. Why do I have to fucking edit movies or edit videos here? I'm sorry.

Look. All right. The point is there's a cool shirt design. It is cool. It is cool. Well, then just say it's cool. Stop fucking being like I don't know There's something wrong with it. There is something then you identified a bunch of things that you thought were wrong with it, too What are you doing? What is this? Didn't I give you an overlay for this two camera setup?

Why is it so hot in here? Is your vent like broken again? My vent is totally fine Is your vent like broken again? My vent is totally fine Cuz my glasses keep fogging up you're getting all fucking nervous. No, that's not what it is your AC is fucked again You're trying to gaslight the audience into yeah, I'm real nervous about this Will you crop the left side you I'm always all the way on the left move that right move it right like that Do you know what right is? Then yeah, I'm like a little centered. I'm always like all the way better there Move it right Like that? Do you know what right is? Move it that way It's mirrored And then Yeah there

So I'm like a little centered I'm always like all the way in the corner Here is this better? There that's what you want Good that is what I want Anyway look This is a This is a first stage mock up

I just wanted to know if people like the The basic idea The jizz of it If you like the jizz of it Do a J in chat for jizz People have said they want the actual show logo so I have another version which we don't have pulled up but okay

we're gonna mess around with it really had to make fun of my fucking moldy comments say whether or not you would like a cool shirt of me and dick as awesome I think the black and white one looks better yeah so yeah I think the black and white would look cool it's black it just looks like we're like silly putty people in the one you sent me I yeah the call and white one looks better. Yeah, I think the black and white would look cool. It's black, white, and yellow.

It just looks like we're like silly putty people in the one you sent me. Yeah. Now that you're telling me that other people said that, I do agree. The color was, yeah, wrong. But if we do it black, white, and yellow, it'll look cool. Like silly putty with a bunch of pubes all over it. Okay, but see, this is the problem is I go, what do you think of this? And instead of just articulating, like, I think the colors are a little too loud.

Maybe we could try toning it down. You go, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't know that the colors are too loud. What is, like, this is. How do you buy shirts normally when you go to. I don't. I don't buy any shirts.

I only have merch or shirts that women have bought me. I do not buy anything because I hate it. I go to the store. I think that looks fucking gay. I don't want to. I hate it. I go to the store. I think that looks fucking gay I don't wanna Black shirts, but why do you think me and Sean are always why Sean only wears black shirts cuz we have the same fucking disability You're retarded just fucking it look Yes, we are retarded a museum and you look at a painting and you go. I can't even tell if it's good Yeah, but I know how I know what makes paintings look good. I could describe it

I don't even know it What makes it look good. It could be a black square and it would basically be the same thing to me. I know. I have an art history education. Okay, then express your preferences. That's not art. It's a fucking t-shirt. It is art. You're an asshole. No, it isn't. I apologize

to the artist who is hopefully not listening to this. Well, you're not gonna fucking put, like, a fucking Ulysses Derides Polyphemus on a t-shirt. That's not a good t-shirt. Maybe you would. I don't know if you would. We're going to end up just putting the logo on a black t-shirt because that's it. It's just going to be the show logo

on a black shirt. Any amount of creativity. Fuck that because that's what you morons want. Fine. Black logo tea Congrats I told you it would be a mess Didn't I? Everything's a mess Look

It's gonna be great Start the show You know speaking of messes We might end up Be doing the live show for 107 Cause I'm going to Nick Rikita's show Next week No

Dude we can't The live show has to be 108. You guys kept fighting me on that. Fucking idiot. We have to do it. Oh, my God. Well, we got to do an early episode then. The biggest problem in the universe.

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! The only show that ranks every problem in the universe, from bill passers lasting too long, to shit that's built all wrong. I'm your host Dick Madison, joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. That was from Manny Muskets. What's going on? I don't know, just been having fun.

What's going on in the Bunny Any New Bunny News? Or in the Tardiverse? There's been a lot of bunnies. There's been a lot of bunny action. Has Doctor Who, What, When, Where, Why parked his retardus anywhere? See, because those are the elements of a good plot. Did you get it? The various questions to ask of your character.

That was a little brain joke, and then the retardus was for the Shane McGillis fans, right? You gotta get them both. Shane McGillis is killing it right now. Oh, it's not Mick Gillis? No, it's not Mick Gillis. Why did I think that? I don't know. Maybe he is Irish.

Maybe he's Irish. He probably wouldn't have got kicked out of SNL if they knew what was good for him. He was Irish. No, he insulted the Asians You can't get away with that Oh, yeah The worst part is It was pretty funny, the bit That he got banned for

Asians Did you ever hear it? No It was him talking about going Yeah, let's hear it on our YouTube channel That has not been But he was talking about. You know, comedian banned for.

Same joke that Shane McGillis was banned for. He was talking about going with his girlfriend to like a Chinese restaurant. Okay. And she started doing like an offensive Chinese accent. Yeah. Saying like, oh, I can't wait to eat neuter. I love neuter. And he's like, baby, you can't say Nooter in here.

Say Noodle, you know? Women. Oh, Chinese and Nooter is so tasty. They do do that. They do do that. So it's literally him admonishing his girlfriend for racism. Can you stop doing that gay voice at this point? That's what he got canceled for.

Well, maybe it was a women thing then. Women. That's why he got canceled for. Well, maybe it was a women thing then. That's why he got canceled. It's like, oh, we got him. We got him. He's actually chastising a woman, but we're going to get him on the Chinese thing. I mean, it is funny the way they pronounce words, right? I have never heard an Asian person care even a little bit about their accents getting made fun of. See, that's the thing.

Never. Because they're too intelligent. Because they're smarter than everyone else. It's one of those situations where actual, like, native-born Asian people are like, yeah, we do talk differently. That's funny. It's amazing. You guys figured out the L to R thing?

Huh. We still have trouble with that. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? I mean. I did it again. But then it again But then it was like American born Chinese My racial identity is being destroyed

By this Come on man Come on lady shut up I forget how we do this We're in uncharted territory by the way I've never done a 105 Of Oh What happened on the previous 105 I forget how we do this. We're in uncharted territory, by the way. I've never done a 105 of... Oh.

Yeah. What happened on the previous 105? Was that a clip show? And then 106 was a clip show. Well, if you want to leave... You want to do a clip show? I'll just play clips. Everybody loves clips.

Here's me playing Zelda. Why was it a clip show? Were you out of town or something? Maddox wanted to, no, Maddox wanted to, I don't know, he wanted to hunker down and work on his Madcast media network and doing an hour podcast would have interfered with that. Wouldn't it have been easier to do an hour podcast and edit together a clip show? Oh yeah. Yeah, big time.

So he made more work for himself with the excuse of needing less work yeah um and then i wasn't allowed to do it with just another co-host you know which would have been fine would have been totally fine so did somebody else edit the clip show together for you guys no he edited it what the fuck's the point that's a way it was a huge waste of time it's a way bigger waste of time than just doing an episode. So this is a big, this is actually the start of the firsts for me. It's one Oh five.

How about that? Wow. Yeah. Okay. Last week, lack of congressional term limits, big winner, which I got the,

I don't know if you got comments where I got the, the length of a term wrong I didn't even notice it But I think I said two Years For senators Is it six years

Or four years Oh you're I think it's longer Yeah it's six It's six That's what somebody said So you You didn't

I thought This would have been a case Of like you knew But you just said it In the moment And you're like Oh boy But now you're coming back

And blowing that out of the water No here's what happened is i looked it up because i thought it was longer and then for some reason whatever source i found said two and i'm like oh shit terms are only two limit two years you had to look that up i did have to look it up i didn't remember how long a term was for which one do you remember congress or, is it different for the Senate? Why don't you just go ahead and list them for me? Maybe with Senate it's two-year terms. Just list the... You tell me how many... First of all, tell me how many branches there are.

Well, there's five branches, of course. Military, library, January. Subway. Subway. The subway president President You know how many years President

You know how many years He's got right Right ten Okay Ten at a time Now you're playing it off I want to get Elected to the library branch

Senate has Two or six Which one I feel like I'm training my dog With left right Well Senate would be two then And the congress Has how many?

Six years? You nailed it. You nailed it. All right. So I got it backwards. So it is two-year terms in the Senate. Yeah. So that's what I got wrong.

Then women's dating advice. Okay. Well, yeah, I guess congressional term limits are worse than that. Although I don't think that would fix anything, but whatever. Rickety shit. You still got to go to that thrift I almost went to Before the show

To that The St. John's Whatever John's Whatever it is Yeah they got good shit man And watching a man drown Obviously At the very bottom

I think negative Because Where What's like the most entertaining thing there is I'd find it tragic Both literally and figuratively Look I see the entertainment in it But it's a tragic form of entertainment. A guy going, hey, check out this water.

I'm going to go jump in it. And then drowning. You'd be like, yeah, that's classic comedy. Actually, that's Looney Tunes. Over and over and over. Check out this fucking roadrunner. I'm going to go nail him. I'm going to run right into this tunnel and nobody can stop me.

Oh, we could have warned you. You should have seen this coming because you've literally done it a hundred times before. I'm going to kill this wabbit. Go for it. I blew my own fucking head off. I know.

My gun went around. I put it in the hole and it came out behind me. Right up my ass hole. Right up my ass. Okay. Benoit says, Dick impersonating Maddox

with Vito impersonating Eric July was top tier That was pretty good Special Ed Class says I hate how happy I was for Vito losing weight I think the parasocial Relationship is in full swing Yeah I feel

Now I'm Now I'm nervous Why? Because before it was like oh he's going to fuck it up Feel uh now i'm uh now i'm nervous why Because like before it was like oh he's Gonna fuck it up yeah so there's no Pressure okay but now there's like a Chance of winning of winning the weight Loss contest yeah you're right so now

Everybody's like actually like into it And they're like you know because before I was like he's a fat piece of shit Nothing's gonna happen now people are Identifying Now if I It's like Do you know that Boogie Lost so many of his fans

Because he got That gastric bypass surgery Really? And everybody was like Everybody had that Parasocial relationship Where they're like I'm so happy

Yeah That Boogie's gonna be skinny And then he fucked it up It does get better Yeah Like that was the narrative You know Even a guy like Boogie Who's to be skinny. And then he fucked it up. It does get better. Like, that was the narrative, you know? Even a guy like Boogie who's suffered his whole life,

he's got the gastric bypass. He's going to, you know, lose a bunch of weight. You know, we can all better ourselves. I could be a big fat piece of shit, but if I could afford that gastric, I'm just good that he did it, right? At least, yeah, at least this guy who's clearly troubled or whatever else,

at least he's taking steps to better himself. Uh-huh. and then he started a diet of Snickers bars and fucking maple syrup And he ended up like basically the same fucking weight And it's and then he's gonna keep it off was like was crushed It's not even if there were I think some of them were mad But I think a lot of them were just like I can't watch this anymore because it's like it's like watching It's like watching a movie about a guy Who fucking fails at the end That's so unsatisfying

It's very unsatisfying That was how I felt about the all these reboots are basically doing that I watched the whole Perry Mason reboot Like the whole season and constantly during the thing they're saying, well, people don't just confess on the stand, you know, telling him. And I'm like, oh, man, this is really going to be awesome when this guy confesses on the stand. It's going to be awesome when he gets a guy to confess on the stand. Leaves the stand, mistrial, and he's like, well, technically I win. And I'm like, well, I fucking lose.

Me, the viewer. You guys not understand? I know that a mistrial, like, that worked in- Yeah That worked in Rocky It worked in the Bad news fucking bears It doesn't work In Perry Mason Yeah

There's been a lot of this Like modern Hollywood writers Being like Well but realistically This would happen Yeah Actually failure is cool I'm not here for realism man

I'm here to see a guy With a laser sword Fight bad guys You gotta win something Yeah Alright I don't know I think these guys are all like Weird little losers themselves laser sword, fight bad guys. You got to win something. Yeah. All right. I don't know. I think these guys are all like weird little losers themselves

and want to justify their own shitty lives. Yeah. Or they go, well, actually, it's like I won. It's like, no, your wife left you because you're a piece of shit and you're not allowed to see your daughter anymore. You blew it. And then you wrote this shitty movie. Yeah, you blew it.

You blew it. Unforgivens is the guy Who super chatted To get Taylor back Was right The show with Taylor on it Was amazing Easily the three funniest Podcasters in the business

Wow Taylor has a very Interesting like devoted Fan base He does Cause he does all those Racist voices Is that what it is?

People love that shit Yeah Taylor could go to Vegas And replace like Danny Gaines It would be like Mercadirk Taylor Yeah he should have From PKA People love that shit. Yeah. Taylor could go to Vegas and replace like Danny Gaines. It would be like Taylor from PKA and his 1,000 racist Chinese voices. And he has like 1,000 different characters. I think he did do the racist Chinese voice when I was on there talking about the comic guy who drew my head-tie cover. He has like a Chinese phone book from Chinatown.

All right. Give me a page People love Taylor I always see in the PKA comments Taylor's carrying the show I'm like wow They're really mean to the other guys They're really mean to the other guys

They're really mean to that FPS Russia guy What's that guy's name Kyle the guy who went to prison Is he just like not allowed to make Gun videos anymore I guess I don't think he's allowed to do anything anymore So he's just broken that sucks Yeah fucking government man Yeah the way he was making money and being popular

Has been taken away it's like if he told me I couldn't talk about Star Wars movies anymore legally If only Liberty Safes had a different Term if only they handled Warrants differently Then the government would never fucking destroy anybody's life. The government can't possibly get into a locked safe

without the help of a safe company. Yeah, sure, here you go. Can we get in that safe? Actually, I'd like to... No, don't worry about it. Smash, smash, smash. I was really confused about the safe. It's like...

You weren't. Newsflash. You were not confused, as it turns out. I was confused about the safe like it's like uh you weren't newsflash you were not confused as it turns out confused about the outcry or i'm like well if they don't give them the code they'll just smash it smash into it so yeah but then they're gonna buy me a new safe when i'm i'm gonna get out of jail and i'm gonna write them a letter me and you know i guess it's the the job of the safe company to inconvenience the government i guess you could make that argument I just don't see it as like They've destroyed liberty

Because they didn't You know Waste an hour of the government's time The government's getting in Don't worry about it The government's gonna get in To your fucking safe Like the safe is there

It doesn't matter if you say no Prevent burglary Not to prevent the fucking government From getting into it Yeah Somebody said Well yeah They have a master key

Because people Like kids get locked in safes. And they're calling and going, my kid's locked in a safe. I need you out now. I forgot to accommodate. People just forget their combination. And somebody said, well, if your kid gets in the safe, you're not responsible. They go, okay.

That'd be a great press release. Well, that kid died because they shot themselves or they were locked in a fucking gun safe. But, you know, really, if you're not responsible enough. We could have given them the codes, but our dedication to not releasing that information... For the Fourth Amendment. ...necessitated that that child must suffocate and die. I'm going to yell out about it on my show. Jay Christian said,

the fear of being sued into oblivion has done a number on Vito's metabolism. Yeah. You don't eat a lot. Glory Hole Connoisseur says, I'm rooting for you Vito I'm also a lard ass at three hundred and twenty six pounds, but I'm down from 341 We can both do this don't you think if you were 341 you'd feel like always bad that you never hit 350

I don't think so. You know I don't know if you feel feel bad i feel bad that i hit 300 let's put it that way you know yeah yeah i'm not if you hit 299 you'd probably feel worse i'll say this though if i get back down it will be like i can tell people you know i used to weigh over 300 pounds um i'm gonna end up putting it all back on jillian seed saidympic face was funnier than it had any right to be. Oh, yeah. There you go. Oh. I'm so happy we're doing the show, Dirk. Should we play this, uh, should we play a Vito's Twitter?

This is kind of a funny one, though. I don't know if this is a Vito's Twitter, but it is a video that was posted on Twitter. Oh, you have some tweets? Yeah, I have some tweets from you. Yeah, well, uh, I guess to set this up is, uh, Eric went on a podcast called SOS. Yes. Alongside Destiny.

SOS is right. It is a terrible podcast. I will say that. Oh, okay. And some fans of the show, or I don't know who it was, actually. People were sending in- Bunnies. My bunnies.

There's a lot of bunnies in the chat. Yes. That was great. Destiny gets on and says, oh, wait, aren't you the guy? I heard about you on Vito and Dick from the biggest problem. Destiny brought us up and he's like, oh, yeah, I heard about you. Vito and Dick say you have a shitty comic book. And Eric's like, yeah, those guys are some busters.

You know, they have a beef with me busters, you know. Straight up gangsta. They have a beef with me. I don't know anything about that. Straight up gangsta. Dude, dude, we got shooters all over to say insults at you. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Unfortunately, this show is so terrible that I was like, man, Eric and Destiny will probably go at it because they're like very different people. Yeah.

But instead the host is like, all right, today's topic is what's everybody been buying? And there's like 12 like Instagram model women on the show. And I'm like, you're asking women about their shopping habits? Oh, God. So do not watch this episode. Thankfully, I did clip out. There was nonstop bunnies in the chat the entire time. Thank you all.

Thank you for your bunnies in the chat the entire time. Thank you all. Thank you for your bunnies. Dame Peso screenshotted it a bunch of times and it's just non-stop fucking bunnies screaming by. Destiny goes, what's with all the bunnies? Well, as the show was going on, what about those bunnies indeed?

Some people had some super chance to ask. Also, the host, I was like, Eric's not promoting good. He didn't even get to talk about that. He barely got to talk

about the comic. Thankfully, the super chats tried to get him talking about his comic and help him promote the Rip-A-Verse. And you've compiled these super chats

from the SOS podcast, which is a big show. Oh, yeah. It's got like 70,000 views or something. I would certainly hate to be embarrassed in such a way on a big program like this. It's embarrassing. You're just asking questions about the Riververse.

Here's Super Chat number one. Then we have Vegetables by 94. What's I-S-O-M's superpower? Can he fly? Then we have dare. Look at his face. Then we have Derek. Look at his face. I don't know why he didn't answer the question.

Just go. Can he fly? Actually, he can't fly, as a matter of fact. Actually, you can find out at superkiller.org or whatever his name is. You can learn all about him. But Eric did not answer the question. ISOM stands for. What does that stand for? That's the other thing.

The host did not know. ISOM. It's confusing. Okay, here comes another. Conversation came up next. Here comes another bunny blaster for you. Air Chrome backer. Let's talk warehouses and warehouses related things.

Matt B. Oh, look at his fucking face. Just wanted to talk about warehouses. He should have talked. He has a warehouse.

Why not talk about it? I don't know why he's quiet on all these questions. He was talking about it on the show. He did talk about the warehouse a little

bit. Yeah. They asked him, what have you been buying? And he said, well, I've just been working on my warehouses He did talk about the warehouse a little bit. Yeah. They asked him, what have you been buying? And he said, well, I've just been working on my warehouses. Yeah, warehouses literally was his answer. Warehouse.

I've been spending a lot of time in the warehouse. Like, you know that caution tape that you put on the floor? Like, a lot of that. I bought a lot of that. Yeah. Been moving shelves around. Okay. Can you thank Eric July for the great comic?

Thanks for working on the International School of Ministry to bring ISOM. Then we have vegetables. He did call that one out as a troll. That one he got it. He thought it was a troll. I think the other ones were legitimate. He had to say that because in his mind the lawsuit would

be affected by that comment. That's true. He's going to come out and say it. It does prove there's confusion in the marketplace though, that he's getting these super chance. Oh man, that was so funny guys. Uh, so yeah,

uh, Eric July, uh, made a podcast appearance again, insulting someone by comparing them to the trickster God of the animal kingdom. It's a very bad plan. This is,

what did you call this one uh i made a huge mistake huge mistake and this bunny and sometimes turtles constant this is this is uh legitimate tortoise interference right here there is a lot of tortoises interference in the chat uh i don't know man we were just in the chat having some fun i didn't even say anything uh i thought about sending a mean super chat and i didn't i restrained myself yeah uh everybody else was having so much fun all the bunnies do the talking fun let's see okay i think that's do you want to go first with your problem? Dick, my problem is something I'm calling Bible truthers People who believe the Bible is a legitimate historical document

Right That accurately tracks Well, it is a legitimate historical document A legitimate, accurate historical document Not so much I would say I can go ahead And help you with this

No At no time Has a man ever Duplicated wine And fish and shit Like that Or walked on A liquid surface

I find this interesting Because there's a certain Internet personality Who's been mad at me lately, an up-and-coming Christian psychopath named Melanie Mack. Remember her? You know what? I thought, anyway, go ahead.

Well, she's very mad because I've called her out in the past for making videos where she brings up her favorite Bible verses to say, well, this is how we know the gays are satanic, you know, because they're sodomites. And then reads, of course, the famous passage. She's just jealous they're getting all that dick. She can't get none of that dick. She's got a gay man brain in that down syndrome looking face.

She's got a gay man's brain in there telling her to get some dick, and she can't. I just find it's like, man, I really thought. You've got that crummy old uterus. I really thought the religious people were like getting past the well, I have to hate gay people because the Bible says it, you know? Me too, buddy.

I really thought we were like, bless that. Me too. But then they did that dang old gay marriage thing and it really riled them up. And I said, please don't do that gay marriage thing. You guys don't want to get married. Trust me, it's horrible. And now they have to go back to hating gay people.

And you go, well, why do you hate gay people? As I always say, I'm like, so you're telling me that you're infinite. Totally free. The god of the cosmos that created everything. That created stars burning, piles of gas, billions of miles apart in space. Yeah. You think that guy's sitting up there going man i hope those two guys don't fuck that would really piss me off yeah actually yes they're

having a parade damn it i really don't i think that the infinite being of creation probably just doesn't care about most of the shit we're doing i can see it being like don't kill each other you know i made you guys don't do that I don't know why We would care about The butt fucking so much Anyway I just want to see A Melanie Mack

And another Down Syndrome girl Scissoring it out I just want to see Down to Call it Down to clown They're both wearing clown suits You know

I think in I think in like 20 years When she's one of those Melting church ladies Whose hatred has Satan Warped her skin. Satan is real.

Pedophiles? Why do they talk about Satan all the time? Because Satan's really not a big part of the Bible. Like, he's in there occasionally, but even like, what do you call it? Isn't it like the biblical translation of Satan, not like a guy? It's more of like a concept. Yeah, it gets a little shaky Cause it's

You know So many different texts Well it's all mixed up With like fucking Dante's Inferno Which is not an actual Religious text Yeah

But people like Legitimately think Like I don't know Some Italian wrote a book About all his political enemies And them burning forever Yeah Let's just make that

Part of our religious canon For some reason They really They really slid in there with the whole dogma Thing like whatever you make true on earth is true in heaven I didn't really I didn't hear God said we used to kill that fucking guy The point is I saw today on Twitter the Melanie Mac is going to start having Bible study Live by the way well of course she said you were dangerous to kids. Just want everyone to know that.

A lot of people have been saying a lot of horrible things. That's when I first noticed how down syndrome is. She looked. I'd say more harmful to kids is Mellie Mack's stupid Bible study, where they will learn some of my favorite biblical passages from this 100% accurate book.

Now, speaking of the Sodomites, of course, this was the angels who visited the town of Sodom, a town that was so lustful that they saw these gorgeous angels and they said, hey, Lot, we know you've got angels in there. You better let us in there so we can fuck them, right? Is that what happened? That's what happened. Angels came down to Sodom. They stayed in Lot's house.

Why did the angels choose to look so attractive? They're just angels, man. They just look good. They can't turn it off. They can't look like guys? No, they have to look like perfect angelic beings. But like androgynous. They're not supposed to look like hentai.

I think they looked like hentai, like little cat boys. I don't think they had little ears. Cat boys is androgynous They're not supposed They're not supposed to look like hentai I think they looked like hentai Like little catboys I don't I think they had little ears Catboys is androgynous So I guess Yeah that's true Thankfully All angels are catboys

Dick I don't know if you know this story But Lot had A plan To fend off the people Who wanted to To fuck the angels Do you know what Lot did? Come on him

He said Jack off on him Close Get naked He said to off on him. Close. Get naked. He said to the mob, listen, you can't just fuck these angels, but I have two virgin daughters. Why don't I just let you

rape the shit out of my two virgin daughters? Me, Lot, a man of God, trying to protect the angels. I offer up, rape my children. Sounds like Lot's trying to, sounds like a used car lot. He's trying to unload some fat chicks on these guys. Hey guys, got a bunch of angels in here.

Where are those angels? We want to rape them. Well, you can, but you can rape these fat girls. You can't rape my daughters. They're a little bit on the heavy side. Lot, these girls are fat as hell. No, they're not fat. Angels say they look great. Angels

really liked them, so you guys must want them. They have amazing personalities, too. That's where the term car lot comes from. That's why they're considered so shady. That makes sense. They're associated with lot, the creep. What race was he? I assume Jewish. Was he I'm assumed Jewish

I don't want to go out on a limb here, but I'm gonna go with you Is just my to say ish? Like that and of course As they ran away From the burning city Which is bullshit It was like Well don't look at the burning city It's like why not

The whole city's on fire Why not look Of course I'm gonna look So his wife turns around And looks Turns into salt First of all Bullshit

The way it happened was Hey honey Look at the burning city I'm not doing that God said not to do that. It's pretty crazy, actually. I'm looking, and it's gold. Describe it.

Fucking buildings shooting around. You've got to look for yourself, baby. Just a peek. God said you could peek. Lot really convinced her. He's like, I looked, and everything's fine. There's a shoe sale there. What?

Really? Thankfully, Lot, who was worried he would not be able to procreate, his daughters did then get him drunk and have sex with him. Awesome. Therefore, preserving the family line. Like the Thorpes. Like Grace Thorpe and her dad. It's the story of Lot, which maybe you'll be able to talk about that on...

Is that what you're doing? Like... No max Bible study. Like, take this Bible, guys, because here's a verse that's, like, retarded. The whole thing is retarded. It's hilarious. How can anyone think this is a real thing that happened? I don't think they do.

And even if it did happen, that means your whole religion is fucked. You should want it to have not happened. You should go, no, that part where he fucks his own daughters and tries to give them to a rape mob. That was a metaphor. That should be your argument. Oh, I see. You're making the wrong argument. Like, this literally happened. Oh, then all of your ancestors are fucked

and your entire religion is nuts. That's anti-Semitic, though. We got a lot of good circumcision stuff in here. God was gonna kill Moses because his son wasn't circumcised. Thankfully, his wife acted quickly, took a sharp stone, and cut off all that. His penis?

Well, you know, the penis skin. What else is a penis? It's partly skin. Part of the penis. The best part is the skin. The part that I care about. God also says that, and here's a little advice, that you should circumcise the foreskin of your heart.

Not sure exactly what that means. Like with Mountain Dew code red? What does that mean? Ozempic? Does that do that? Now, did you know, I did not know this, is that, did you know that if you are wounded in the testicles or have lost your penis that you should not go, you're not allowed in church, according to God.

Oh, good. I've been kicked in my testicles. He who is wounded in the stones or hath his privy member cut off shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord. So stay out. And your penis cut off? How much penis cutting off was happening? Lord, have your penis cut off. I think a lot of penis cutting off was going on back then.

I guess. I mean, I could easily see me having gotten my penis cut off for various It's just like back then they're like, I don't know what to do today I'm pissed at Tom. Let's cut off his penis like it was just like their way of settling debts. Yeah now Do you know about the golden hemorrhoids? No, okay, so the corral hemorrhoids. This is... You shit so much? This is a complicated one. Hold on. So, the Philistines smashed the Israelites and stole the Ark of the Covenant.

We know that. Okay. And brought it to the Temple of Dagon. Okay. But Yahweh was upset with the Philistines and gave them all hemorrhoids. Okay. So the Philistines said, what do we do about all these hemorrhoids? Okay.

And the priest said, first you got to give the Ark of the Covenant back to the Israelites. Why is this not in Indiana Jones? This is great. The hemorrhoids? Indiana Jones and the golden hemorrhoids? Indiana Jones and the hemorrhoids.

Give them back the Ark of the Covenant and give them five golden statues of your hemorrhoids and the hemorrhoids giving back the ark of the covenant and give them five golden statues of your hemorrhoids so they created golden tributes in the shape of their hemorrhoids and along with serious and along with the ark of the covenant they returned this to the correct translation well the word is it specifically says that God gave them, so the term is emeralds, right? I don't know. Well, I'm telling you,

in the Bible, emeralds, which can be used to describe boils or like swellings from plague. Okay. But the Bible specifically says they were afflicted by emeralds in their secret parts.

Okay. What else is an emeroid in your secret part? If not a anal hemorrhoid So the priests told them Give them back the Ark. Yeah, and God's really pissed. So you got your hemorrhoids off on it Well, I don't know if they cut them off and cast them in gold or I think they had to look at them and be like alright, it kind of looks like this And then make like A gold replica

And give that again To the Israelites I can see that happening To make right with God I can see that happening though So this is This is all very important stuff That people need to know

Clearly you should be Getting life lessons From this thing Also Okay all these people Talk about how You know like kids Are the most sacred thing. And, you know, you got to protect kids, which I agree with.

The Bible hates children. It's constantly burning children and drowning children. Killing them for fun. And killing, yes. God kills children all the time. Here's one that I liked. The time Elijah went to Bethel. Now, Elijah was a bald man,

which is, of course, horrendous. We hate the bald. Yeah, of course. Me, myself, as a man of luxurious hair, I despise them. As he's walking along the road, some juvenile boys came out from the town and jeered at him. You're going to say something else.

They said, get out of here, baldy. Leave our town, you bald bastard. Yeah. Now you think a grown man could stomach the barbs of school children. Instead, Elijah called down a curse in the name of the Lord. The Lord then sent two bears from out of the woods, which mauled 42 children. Just because of that?

Yes. God killed 42 kids with bears. I feel like they made fun of Elijah for being bald. I feel like Elijah's making that up. I think all of it's made up. I think everyone made all of it up. I think a bunch of kids got killed by bears, and because they couldn't deal with it and process the grief, they had to blame the kids somehow? It's because they insulted that man.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why would a bear maul 42 kids? What do you mean? Maybe they just murdered them normally. No fucking kids got murdered. 42 kids did not get killed by a fucking bear. That did not happen. Probably one kid got killed by a bear.

That definitely happened at some point. Where would have been a 42 kids in Bible times Probably one kid got killed by a bear. That definitely happened. That definitely happened. At some point. Okay. Where would have been a 42 kids in Bible times to get killed by two bears? All standing along the road taunting one bald man. That's a guy going, hey, kid, come here. Somebody made fun of my bald head once. Yeah. And God sent two bears and it killed 42 of you little fuckers. I think that the Bible is...

Some guy standing around said, is that true, Elijah? And he goes, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know you can't use the Lord's name in vain like that. Oh, yeah, that's true. That happened. I was talking about this with Josh Denny, and I'm like, we understand that the Bible is a bunch of Jewish guys sitting around lying to each other, right?

Like, yeah, my cousin Noahah had a boat it was so big yeah it wasn't that big no it was and uh it was uh 500 cubits this voice 500 cubits and he had two of every animal on that boat he did not have two of every he had two of every one all right even he even had unicorns but they died on the way over. How many wives did he have? He had 100 wives and he lived- Negative wife, actually. He was 1,000 years old. It was an anti-wife that he had floating around him that would murder any- Oh, yeah.

I think the point is that you know that these stories are in the Bible and that- It doesn't matter, though. They just hate gay people. I know, but like when you hate gay people because of one part of a book- No, no, no, no, no, no. They hate gay people at first. part of the book. No, no, no, no, no, no. They hate gay people at first. I know. They hate them first.

Why do you think all religions hate gay people? Man, what a fucking coinkydink. All these, you mean all the religions hate gay people? Yeah. I know. So just say you hate gay people. Just be gay. Or just be gay.

You can still hate gay people. Yeah. They do. Don't worry about it. It's just like it's the nuttiness of like, Or just be gay You can still hate gay people Yeah They do Don't worry about it It's just It's just like It's the nuttiness of like

And I'm justified in it Why? Cause my insane book says I am Yeah And it's like Can I summon some bears To kill some kids

Cause they made fun of me For being bald Yeah No That's clearly wrong Can I burn an entire town To the ground for it? No

So stop justifying it with your dog Just you use the butter should want it to be a metaphor. You should want it to be a loose collection of fables and And satire which it is. Okay. Yeah, you start going. No, it's the 100% word of God It goes well, then your God is fucking nuts Why are you saying that this is a bad thing to say? No, it's the 100% word of God. It goes, well, then your God is fucking nuts. Why are you saying that? This is a bad thing to say.

It's not the literal word of God. It's a bunch of Jews who are very creative storytellers who didn't know where to pour their energies. I guess they hate gay people so much, though. They really do. And the worst part is, you would think the Bible would have more anti-gay stuff. Gay people are trying to fuck your wife. Gay people aren't. I promise. Gay people aren't trying to fuck. The Bible has way gay people trying to fuck your wife yeah people I promise gay people aren't trying to fuck your wife it has way more shit about how much you

should hate pork that it does Jewish people or gay people but they you know they focus on all the things they agree with and why did lot let his daughters have sex with him

well they were maybe they i don't know they were hot nothing god want golden hemorrhoid statues it's funny it really screws up uh the lost ark for me that there's golden hemorrhoids in it that's why they went all the nazis should have got hemorrhoids all at once. And their pants blow out. Marion, don't look. You'll get hemorrhoids. Farting and shitting all over.

That was the original script. That pronoun guy comes in. Oh, I got pronouns. Oh, man. You could... Man, the Bible. What a book. Melanie Mack's probably got some whoppers of hemorrhoids with her butter meat diet.

Yeah, Jesus Christ. Salt. Nothing like old hemorrhoids with salt and inactivity. I wish this woman would learn to... She got some real roast beef down there. Shooting out the old cornhole. Why don't you stop hating gays and learn to love? Drinking water might be helpful.

Melanie Mack, who has been hospitalized for her all meat, all butter diet. You call somebody a pedophile. Oh, it's on forever. Your bets are off. All these people are like, I don't know. I think you should like mend things with them. You're all my enemies for life and you will be fucked. That's it. I know Mel Gibson. All these people are like, I don't know. I think you should like mend things with them. You're all my enemies for life and you will be fucked.

That's it. All right. I will spend the rest of my life devoted to shitting on you stupid people. I'm so sick of this. Like you should like mend things. Eric July is a really rational guy. No, he's a dumb fuck piece of shit. All his friends are dumb fuck pieces of shit.

Yeah. And they're evil. So the Bible is your problem? Bible truthers. Oh, okay. Bible truthers. Yeah, people who say the Bible's just like a cool book. That's fine. That's fine. It's cool that we have an old book that was written by, you know, people.

What kind of stories were they into? Translated so everybody could read it, because nobody has asses learning Greek. Thank God that one got translated first. Boy, whoever... King James really fucking figured that one out. King James nailed it. Which one of these books do you want to translate,

James? I don't know. The Koran's pretty funny. It's got some shady stuff, though. Which one has the least raping kids? This Bible. Which one most justifies my subjugation of the populace? They all do that. They all do that. Oh, okay.

Well, let's just go with this one, then. Let's go with the kid rape. The least amount of kids getting raped. Okay, yeah, this one. This one. Are there any flying horses in this one? No. Then that's the one. I don't want any flying donkey bullshit. There's angels. They're weird.

How weird? It's hard to describe. That's fine. I want a giant eyeball surrounded by a million other giant eyeballs all spinning in perfect unison. Okay, good problem. Which then a bunch of people in town want to have sex with for some reason. Wouldn't you? No. There's a bunch of people in town want to have sex with for some reason. Wouldn't you? No.

There's a giant... If there was a being the size of Dodger Stadium with a hundred, eleventy jillion eyeballs spinning around and wings, would you... So you're saying no, you would not want to have sex with that thing? I'd give it a try. That's why we are the sodomites that need to be smote.

Okay. We have nukes now. Does God have nuclear bombs? My problem is plea deals. Plea deals. Do you know what a plea deal is? I believe I do. So you get arrested for not doing

anything. Not going to the Capitol or anything like that. Sure. And then the prosecutor says... Arrested for not going to the Capitol. That's one way of summarizing it. Let's say that you were not at the Capitol or maybe you're walking around a little bit. No big deal. It doesn't matter.

Right. You're not at the Capitol and then the government says, you're under arrest. We're going to send you to jail. Mm-hmm. You could get a trial and... The way the system was meant? the Capitol, and then the government says, you're under arrest. We're going to send you to jail. You could get a trial. The way the system was meant to work. And you could get, you know, we're going to try to put you away for 22 years. Or step right up to door number.

Or you could just accept this plea deal. Or you could spin the wheel of consequences. You could get this plea deal, and we'll let you get away with 11 years. How about that? Say, oh, that 11 years is looking pretty good. You better decide fast. Yeah. The timer on this deal. Can we go lower?

60 seconds. Can we go lower? You got a couple of... It's like a game showification first of all it's totally unconstitutional it should be illegal every every prosecutor who does and has ever done it they should dig up the bodies of them and throw them in jail this is fucking hot what you're allowed to do is get tried for crimes right you're not allowed to make nickel and dimed by a used car salesman about it's kind of fun the game

show aspect of it I think people accept it because in their minds it is a game show like well that makes sense I've seen that on TV this the sentences should be in a bunch of suitcases and you got to be like all right we're going to try you for 20 years or you can pick one of 10 suitcases

if you skip the trial we'll let you pick a suitcase one of them has a million dollars one of them is a. If you skip the trial, we'll let you pick a suitcase. One of them has a million dollars. One of them is a firing squad. The other ones are different sentencing ranges between... We should make this video, by the way. Okay, you were arrested for J6. You were

sitting at home tweeting about how you hate the government. Here you go. You're under arrest. We're going to try to prosecute us, the same people that would give you 11 years. When we go in court, we're going to hit you for 30. We're going to hit you for 600 lifetimes. Why? Why do you think I should go away that long then, but now you only think I should go away?

Well, you know, I'm just like, to be silly. Is there like, because of justice, you think I should get less? Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I just want a wheel. Can you explain? I want a wheel and a lady and like a bonus round.

Can you explain how the, the just trying of my freedoms, uh, calculates to exactly half of the sentence to incentivize me? Right now you've got four years, but you could risk it all on a terrorism rider which will upcharge You could go away forever. Or you could just take this little deal that I'm offering you. If I give you $100,000 will the time go down? That's illegal, man. You can't do that. Why is that illegal?

It feels like we're already playing let's make a deal. Why am I not allowed to make an offer? What if I rat on my friends? Oh yeah, then we'll knock it down a little bit more can't make any offers. What if I ran on my friends? Oh yeah, then we'll knock it down a little bit more. We'll take that. What if I ran on my friend Benjamin Franklin? No. Back in jail. Just always remember the Monty Hall problem. Always switch the

door. I had the J6 guys. I'm bringing this in because of the J6 guys. Didn't you have a J6 guy on your show? Yeah, a couple. Did he get... He's in jail for four years. Four years. His family and his black wife are struggling to make ends meet.

Nobody's writing him. Nick Ox, write to him in prison. OCHS, write to him because prisoners love getting mail. At least they didn't put him in solitary or whatever. That's the worst thing. When they go, oh, these guys can't be in. No. Solitary? You don't want to be in solitary

I want to be in that Iron Maiden I don't even want to think about Lock me in that fucking thing And then open it up in four years That was good I want to be going to cryosleep Demolition Man What was the name of the guy from Demolition Man?

John Spartan John Spartan. John Spartan. Yeah. So they got the Proud Boys. Here's their plea deals. Terrio got, oh wait, so they got offered 9 to 11 and they turned it down. Yeah, that's... See, that's bullshit.

You should be able to revert to the plea deal. Well, I guess that doesn't make any sense then. See, it doesn't make sense. Because then everybody wouldn't take it. But they shouldn't. It's illegal. It's crazy. It's like if they

show up to your house and put a gun to your kid's head and say, well, you know, why don't you just go ahead and wave your Fifth Amendment? Right. I mean, I should admit you're guilty ahead and why don't you just go ahead and wave your Fifth Amendment? Right. I mean, I should admit you're guilty. It's kind of bullshit. Like the whole idea that it's like, take this deal.

And then you didn't take the deal. And it's like, but you're crime innocent. Your crime didn't change or whatever you did didn't change. Nothing changed. So why do I why is it OK for in justice terms? Is it okay for me to only go to jail for half of this time? Yeah, why were you guys okay with me getting six years at one point? But because I said, well, I'd like zero. Well, then we got to give you 18.

And then you can't go in there. Baked Alaska did this. And they made him come back and do it again. He said, I'm taking the plea deal because I don't want to go to jail. And they said, well, are you guilty? And he goes, no. And he goes, well, then you can't take the plea deal. He said, I'm taking the plea deal because I don't want to go to jail. And they said, well, are you guilty? And he goes, no. And he goes, well, then you can't take the plea deal. He goes, why? He said, you can't say that you're innocent and take the

plea deal. And he goes, oh. And he goes, well, you have to come back in a month after you've thought about it. He goes, well, okay, I'm not, I'm guilty then. And he says, no, you have to come back in a month. So he comes back in a month and he goes, yeah, I'm guilty. It's like, how is this? All of you should be in prison. The judge,

the lawyers, all of you should be in prison because that's the most I could say legally. Now, apparently. Yeah. So the reason we have the plea deals is because the courts are jammed up, right? I think that's the excuse they use.

I mean, there's a lot of ways to fix jammed up courts. Just executing perps is a good... I don't know about that exactly. Just give them a free bag of fentanyl and send them on their way. I don't know why it started, but I know that if everybody stopped taking

plea deals, no one would ever go to prison again because they cannot possibly try everybody. They can't prosecute that many trials. So they'd have to start kind of repealing laws until only the important ones were left. Were these jury trials, by the way? Yeah. So juries like got convinced that people who didn't go to the Capitol were guilty of...

I keep waiting for like what the smoking gun is of these cases, because I'm like, well, there must have been a text message where they said, let's kill a guy. That's legal. Well, you could say if you stormed into a building with the intent of killing someone, that would be a problem. I don't know why you're saying that's legal. It's clearly not legal.

You could say it is a joke maybe but Well then yeah, but if you actually go all right buzz the thing is like these guys Didn't have like weapons on them. Nobody did it seems obvious that they just went there as like a political LARP. It's going Everyone's going on inside. Oh shit. Okay, cool. Yeah. Let's go inside. I wish I was there.

I'm at home though. If these guys, you're going to jail for 22 years, but throw the government, they probably wouldn't have taken a bunch of selfies and then left. They probably would have like done something. How do you overthrow the government from walking around in a room? What is even the,

what is the out? What is the optimum outcome of that I'll say this Look I can understand the government being like We need to make it very clear you can't just Burst into the capitol and fuck around They shouldn't keep the doors locked then Give them like two years or something I mean man it's the government

They're gonna fuck you no matter what I'd be much happier getting two years than 22 90% of all criminal convictions are the results of plea deals. Yeah. I think Biden should have. Which are unconstitutional. Flat out. Yeah, go ahead.

Are we going to talk about pardons or not? Because I want to know. Oh, I changed my problem. Okay. I think Biden should pardon some of these guys. All of them. Yeah. Me too

I think I think if he did that See I asked I was like Maybe we could trick Maybe Obtuse Gnome Could trick Biden Yeah we'll send Obtuse Gnome

In our secret agent I think like Again These are guys Who I don't know Thought the election Was stolen

Yeah So they're not very smart And that's fine But again they didn't like go if they went in With like a bunch of guns and were like shooting them I'd be like Yeah okay that's fucked but instead they kind of like If I was on there That's hugely illegal

Here's the problem I'm like look man if I believed the election was stolen I probably would have been there with them I would have went into that building Yeah because the Democrats have done that multiple times. Democrats do that? They go into buildings and protest and burn stuff down. Hasn't there been capital protests?

All the time. Yeah. All the time. So look, you can say like, okay, they knocked down some barricades, so it's a little more serious. And give them a little something. I hate those friends. Curious.

And give them a little something. I hate those friends. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know how they got a jury to... I mean, it was in D.C. though, right? I don't know. That was where the trials were? I don't know all the specifics of it. It was probably a bunch of hippie liberal morons in the jury. I don't even know if it was a jury trial.

It might not have been. I don't think it was. Jury. There you go. Jury convicts four leaders. Was it the same jury? It must have been I don't think it was Jury There you go Jury convicts Four leaders Was it the same jury It must have been a different jury

Jury how How I don't know Cause that's the thing I kept being like I'm like well what did they show The jury That like

Cause if I was their lawyer I'd just be like Well here's like all the other times It's happened And nobody went to jail Yeah It's just jury Just so you know

You can definitely You can sit around saying that I want to take over the government. Yeah, you can say that. You can say that all day, basically. Just so you guys know. I mean, I think when all women go in there, it didn't like a bunch of women go in and be like, give us our abortion rights and they're wearing like pussy hats or

whatever. Women have said the most outlandish scandal shit you could imagine. Women have said they'll kill God. They won't even stop at the government. Did their lawyer not just be like, look, people have done this. I don't know, Vito. You don't got to be happy about it, but it's like, yeah, they're protesting the government. I don't know, but the plea deal part's the problem because it happens.

It got a little out of hand. The guys who like punched cops, sure, you know, come down on those guys. It's basically the government using the government as a threat to get you to voluntarily go to prison for something that they can't bust you on necessarily. If 90% of convictions are from you just admitting it, you have to assume that some of those would have not. Some of those people would have walked. Right? What is the percentage? Is it 1? Is it 50?

Is it 99? Nobody could ever possibly say. Right? So what they're doing is evil. They're taking people who would have gone free and imprisoning them, which is why it's unconstitutional. Big problem. Well, if you're a big Proud Boys guy, this weekend in Vegas, Josh Denny performing alongside

Gavin McGinnis as part of the Fuck Racism Comedy Tour. There you go, Josh. Nice little plug for you. There you go. I wish I was there. Yeah, you want to go to Vegas this weekend? No, I'm going to Nick's. See our good friend Kevin McGinnis.

I asked Josh. I was like, I forget how it came up came up But I'm like Gavin must hate me Right Cause of dick He's like No no no I talked to him He's like

Man I can't believe That fucking dick Mastering guy Came to my show He's like That Vito guy Seemed alright though And I'm like

Ah cool Gavin McGinnis likes me I'm basically An honorary proud boy Maybe he will be My third retard stone You do need A millionaire stone

I guess Eric Shalai's stone is a fake millionaire stone. You need the real millionaire stone. The vice stone. All right, that's my problem. Plea deals. Plea deals. Well, I've got something almost... It's like your wife nagging you.

...as important. Yeah. You know? Like, okay, we can have this argument, or you can just admit to this. I won't check your phone, but you have to admit that you've been a bad boyfriend. I won't let your woman check your phone.

She'll find all your torrents. Let's see. My problem, Dick, I'll tell you a little story, is Neon Genesis Evangelion. What a show. One of my favorites. I'm surfing the internet, and I see the soundtrack is now available on vinyl record.

Okay. And I'm like, well, all right. The Evangelion soundtrack, a lot of great tunes on there. Get a nice little vinyl. I got one of those. Something to buy. Let me get it. Well, it's true.

I was going to buy it from Walmart.com. And then I noticed that different retailers had different color variant discs. So depending on who you buy it from, the vinyl is a special color. And I said, oh, look at that. Over on the Crunchyroll store, I can get it in limited edition Evangelion unit two colors, a red vinyl and an orange vinyl. And I said, you know, it's a little more. It's a little more than the other releases.

Had to pay a little extra for shipping. I said, well, it's fine because that's the variant I want. What are you going to do with all this stuff when you die? Fucking burn it, man. What are you talking about? I'm getting buried with all that shit. And then I'm going to set the grave on fire. No dirt on top of your coffin.

Just plastic toys and shit. I want a gravestone, complete plastic lucite box So you can see me Surrounded by trash There should be a special graveyard for like Neats where it's just a landfill Of all your toys And you're buried in them And just bury you in Playstation games

And dump all your shit on top of you I don't know what you're talking about I'm gonna live forever The point is the other day I get a box The box is like this fucking big. Wow. And I open it up, and what is in there? One vinyl record that has been bouncing around inside a box ten times the size of it.

And it is completely one of the- Destroyed? Destroyed, yes. So now I have to get a refund. My problem, Nick Deck deck is fear of bubble wrap Why Are people not using the bubble wrap It's expensive

It is expensive but it's a miracle substance That Every time I keep getting packages That are just fucked When I buy shit on eBay I have to like put in there I go Listen motherfucker just put a little bubble wrap If you need me to send you

an extra buck, I'll do it. And they go, no, it'll be fine. Don't worry about it. And it shows up and everything's fucking damaged. Smash. Bubble wrap was invented in 1957 by engineers Alfred Fielding and Mark Chavanes of Hawthorne, New Jersey.

They originally sealed two shower curtains together, which created an interesting pattern of air bubbles. Do you know what they tried to use their invention for first? Escuba stuff? Wallpaper, Dick. They wanted bubble wrap wallpaper.

You'd put it up on the wall. Do you have that? I wish I had that. Do any nerds have bubble wrap wallpaper? For earthquakes and stuff? At this point, maybe I should that Do any nerds have Bubble wrap wallpaper Like earthquakes and stuff At this point maybe I should It would protect all my shit I'm one of these guys You know how they tell you

In California Like secure your shelves To the wall In case there's an earthquake Yeah you have to Yeah Yeah I'd never do that No

No one ever does No one ever does I'm like yeah if it comes It comes Would you be out How much Would all your toys break If you had an earthquake

I don't know I gotta check my So I got to check my... So I have a separate insurance policy for my video game collection. Yeah. Not the toys, just the video games. Oh, toys aren't included? I would have to get another rider to cover toys. And the insurance company has told me the consoles are not covered, just the games themselves.

The games? Like the CDs? Yeah. And the cases and stuff? Yeah, I don't know. Because they're wrapped? I don't know. Because they're wrapped? I don't know why. I think they think a console is more prone to just fucking break from using it.

It's got capacitors. Yeah, it's got like a bunch. They're going to short out. Yeah, it's going to die over time. But they assume the cartridges and stuff will stay good. Yeah. So I have an insurance policy on those. And yeah, I try to keep them there was a guy who there was a guy called Butt Sanchez

who would who would do well to heed this problem once upon a time he sent a box with a very expensive ash statue from the army of darkness made out of that polymer

whatever it is the nice statues and also a big selection of barbecue sauce that he liked i think i remember seeing a picture of this uh and he didn't wrap it at all he just put it in a box like a bunch of glass bottles apparently yeah with some newspaper maybe his newspaper for the day they always think newspaper is gonna do it it's not uh so it showed up, and this figurine was smashed up, and all the barbecue sauce was all smashed as well. Guys, you got to use bubble wrap. I'll say this about Pop Sculpture, who sent my cum jar, my super killer cum jar. Excellent packaging because he uses the bubble wrap.

He respects the bubble wrap. A lot of people don't. After bubble wrap was unsuccessful as wallpaper, they tried to use it as greenhouse insulation. It wasn't big, but they hit on their big deal in 1961 when their big client decided to use bubble wrap to protect a very important product.

That company was IBM. Bubble wrap Great Is responsible for the computing age Dick Okay When the IBM 1401 computer Was packaged by these delightful bubbles Yeah

Which are so much fun to pop It truly is a wonder material And yet Yeah kind of Like there was a There was a moment when Popping the bubbles Like that's one of the first memes I remember being really annoying Really? Yeah, kind of. There was a moment when popping the bubbles,

like that's one of the first memes I remember being really annoying. Really? Like popping bubbles was fun as a kid, and then they were selling like popping bubble things. They're still selling those. I see those everywhere. People would talk about it, and I'm like, I hate it now. Those are the new fidget spinners. And I never popped another bubble.

The poppables or whatever, they're like stupid. They look like that. And they go back and forth. That's annoying. But then they also sold like bubble wrap just popables or whatever. They're like stupid. They look like that. And they go back and forth. That's annoying. But then they also sold like bubble wrap just for popping. Yeah. You guys just have to ruin everything. Remember when they were selling like little fidget things?

There would be one that just had like a bubble you could pop. Yeah, I do remember that. Regardless, it is fun to pop. Okay. So tape, what's next? Is that? You did tape. You literally brought in finding the edge of packing tape

You're not allowed to That's a problem Nag my bubble wrap problem If you're allowed to do A packaging problem It's not a good problem I'm allowed to do A packaging problem

People need to use bubble wrap You got foam No they don't use anything Look I Okay I will settle for Alternate Forms of There you go

Again It was a giant box Yeah No packaging And one of the fucking Vinyl Fucking and Alternate forms of pet but so you go again. It was a giant box No packaging and one of the fucking vinyl here fucking and Val just LP didn't show up LP set one of them's broken cuz they didn't bubble wrap it. Okay, listen to fucking Amy whatever the fucking blue one or Asuka. Is that in there?

Asuka's the red one. Oh, I can't fucking look at Asuka and listen to this music. Oh, man, that's all messed up. They could have just put bubble wrap in. Why? I'll say, okay, you know what I'm going to say? Smash all that shit. The one thing that I have to respect about the Repoverse is that packaging.

Oh, boy. Does he know how to package a comic book He could put a little bubble wrap in there But What'd you have to do With your Evangelion I gotta contact the company

I gotta get a refund now Cause they didn't bubble wrap it Do they have any more? I don't know It might be a limited edition Maybe they're sold out Oh man All the others just went up in value

That's true Normally when I buy records They have like a very specific like Mailer at least okay I'll say this Like the mailers that are specifically sized For a specific thing those are great Yeah I bet the guy at the factory just said this is what I'm doing with my life

Packaging up this shit But it's like when Amazon does that shit all the time too and amazon never uses bubble wrap and you'll you'll order like a little thing and they'll put it in a giant ass box and then it shows up all broken and fucked as a collector i like my things to arrive in mint condition point is guys if you got a chance and i'll say this a little pro tip the bubble bubble wrap at Home Depot is overpriced. I think you can order it online. You'll get a better deal. I got a pro tip.

Stop buying this crap. You don't need any of this crap. This vinyl shit. Dick, I have literally nothing else going on in my life. Okay? I don't have a girlfriend. Don't get one of those. All this TV. I tried to watch that Ahsoka show.

It's garbage. Don't have a girlfriend. Don't get one of those. All this TV. I tried to watch that Ahsoka show. It's garbage. Don't watch that shit. All I have is like magic cards on the internet, which is pretty fun. That's fine. Yeah, you can buy those. I'm buying stupid garbage that gets sent to my house. And I look at it for 10 seconds and I put it on a shelf and I never touch it again. All right.

And that's my happiness. Oh, that was great. Let me just put that in the back. That was great. Let me put it on the- Oh no, it's broken. This will never do. This will never sit in my bookshelf.

Look, man, I'm only... Why didn't you bubble wrap my fucking LP? I managed to find one distraction on this earth. Do you have an album player? Yeah, I have a record player. I have one of those crappy suitcase ones. I gotta get a nicer one. Is it Evangelion themed? No, it's not Evangelion themed.

Why not? If they made one, I would probably get it Like a Pikachu record player they have an Evangelion a Humidifier That I've thought about I bet they do And it's just the rope it's the

Robot trampling the pyramid And steam comes out of It to to humidify and you can put Vicks vapor rub in there. Is it steam or is it Zyklon B that Comes out of there because that's what it should be I'm gonna get that Evangelion humidifier They have an entire

There's a video on YouTube. I'm just kidding That's just a delouser. There's a YouTube Video. Can you live your Life entirely with Evangelion products And the answer like you can get an Evangelion tool Belt. No is the answer. You cannot liveion products? You can get an Evangelion tool belt. That was the answer. You cannot live your life. A hammer. They have an entire line of tools.

What would they need that for? Cool. I'm going to put this up on the shelf. You don't want to use it. It's a collector's item. Look at me. I'm building a life. I've thought about getting the Evangelion wire cutters, you know? Do they really have that shit? Yes, they do. I'm building a life. I've thought about getting the Evangelion wire cutters, you know Yes, I really have that shit. They do

I'm looking it up. Look it up. Look up Evangelion ATR. Just look up tools tools Yeah, they have an entire line of tools. Oh god. Kill me. They really do. I want to get them Don't get this shit a golf bag they they may yeah you should take up golfing you don't think i should get an evangelion toolbox what no what are you gonna use i use tools i hammer i nail i screw do all the things they're just colored tools they're not evangelion at all no they got like a little picture of the robot on some of them. I mean, not really. Is that a fucking...

It's a hose like wheeler upper. Why is there a watermelon in the background of this? For scale. For scale. Okay. The watermelon is an important icon. Watermelons could be a lot of different sizes though. It's from a banana.

Evangelion has a watermelon scene Okay Jesus fucking Christ What's that one So you'll be able to buy Oh scissors What's A.T. Field Is that a A.T. Field is the wall of the soul

As explained by the series But uh This is their You know line of tools They've called them Do people show up to school With this shit? No, you keep this in your house.

I want all this stuff. Someday I'm going to have my whole house is just going to be Evangelion scissors and razors. Why can't you be into something cool like being a furry or something? This is cool. This is great. I love this. What else is there here? Again, there is a YouTube video that somebody went through all the different shit.

They make everything. Evangelion is like. I mean, they're making scissors. They're making scissors. Yeah. Evangelion makes like a ton of money. Why? Is it that big?

Yes. Why? So you know there's that Wikipedia list of like the top like media franchises of all time. It's like Pokemon, Mickey Mouse, Hello Kittyises of all time it's like pokemon mickey mouse hello kitty yeah evangelion's like number 14 of the top franchises of all time okay and the reason is dick yeah pachinko what there are more evangelion pachinko machines in japan it's like the top branded pachinko line okay so like if you go to japan and you play pachinko machines in Japan. It's like the top branded Pachinko line. Okay. So like if you go to Japan and you play Pachinko, you're going to play on an Evangelion Pachinko machine.

Winnie the Pooh. And it has made the owners of the IP like a bajillion dollars. Spider-Man, Transformers, Cars, Dungeon Fighter online. What the fuck? Let's see. Yeah, it's always interesting when you... Evangelion's not on here. It was.

Hold on. Where'd it go? It's fucking fake news,ion's not on here. It was. Hold on, where'd it go? Fucking fake news, man. Oh, shit. It was on there. Wait, which Wikipedia article is this? I don't know. Highest grossing media franchises. Pokemans, Mickey, Winnie the Poop, Star Wars.

Dude, it used to be in the top 20. I don't know what happened. Disney Princesses. Ape Man. I remember looking at it and it was up there. Harry Potter, Barbie, Marvel. Maybe it was top Japanese. And it was up there Harry Potter Barbie Marvel Maybe it was top Japanese Call of Duty

Maybe it was top Japanese franchises For Trans people maybe Was it that? I can't believe Cars is in the top 20 Hello Kitty

I mean I guess I do believe it Dora the Explorer is up there Wow Yeah Imagine if they go woke Point is It's fucking huge franchise sound is that me it's like air whistling I hate it all right so what were you

saying sorry I want to get a wrap for my car an Evangelion ran that would be if you did that I take back everything if you got a fucking Evangelion wrap for your car you can get I'll buy you the fucking tools. The problem is, if I could, if I can get. There you go, there you go. Talking yourself out of doing something cool. No, no, no, I want to do it, but my car has a bunch of dents in it. I got to find like a dent. That would really, there's no way they would wrap your car.

No, but I want to, I don't want to wrap my car if it's like a dented piece of shit. I wouldn't want to get like. How many dents does it have? I mean, it has like a big one on the side. I wouldn't want to get that like. That's it? Fixed up. I think so. Get them both. Dents like a hundred bucks. No problem.

I might take it to a dent place and then I want to get a fucking. You got to wrap. You have got to get, you got to get that priced and you got to show up to the live show with your Evangelion wrap. Maybe I'll secretly do it during the show and get it Evangelion wrapped. I think it would be cool. What would you get? Like a porno one with their tits out and stuff? No, I wasn't going to do that. I'll secretly do it during the show and get it Evangelion wrapped. I think it would be cool. What would you get?

Like a porno one with their tits out and stuff? No, I wasn't going to do that. I was going to make it look like a military. You know how you see the Jurassic Park vehicles that people keep doing? Yeah. There's like an evil government agency in Evangelion. So I wanted to make it look like a government black site car with logos on it and shit. No, they're not pedophiles.

The good guys are pedophiles? They put a bunch of 13-year-olds inside robots and force them to get naked. You could make the argument that they're fucking around a little bit. You have to make the argument. Pedophiles. I don't know if NERF is a pedophilic organization. What does NERF stand for? I think it's just the word NERF. I can't do it fast enough

pedophile stuff all right my uh my last problem is not enough randy virgins not enough oh evangelion not enough randy virgins evangelion that's it sure uh phone paste formatting phone paste formatting come on man get it together a little thing. Maybe this is just paste formatting. Copy it, paste it in something else. Oh, wow! That's what I wanted! Half of a fucking HTML document! Let me go fucking paste this in a URL bar or something so I could re-highlight, re-copy it, and then go re-paste it without all this fucking garbage all over it!

Just the fucking text! I just want the text! Highlight, text highlight don't you want it to be 48 point font and a bunch of different colors wow i said what i love hey business hey business people check this out this is what i'm talking about actually paste in half a paragraph oh it's wind wing dings yeah some kind of font that it wasn't on the page and now it's this kind of font you just paste pasted his fucking text. No one has ever wanted to paste it with fonts and shit. Why is the default to paste it with the inherited formatting when 99% of the time

I've never said, let me copy this font from a website and have it be the exact size and color as it was on that website. I have no use for this. Yeah, I need it to be, you know, gigantic. I need it to be, you know, gigantic. I need it to be the size of the page. Okay, so here's the issue.

Find the guy who made the thing where you get texted and it pops it up above the keyboard so you can just press it and the code goes in. Find that guy, because he's the only guy that knows what he's doing in all of IT and make him do the copy-paste-text thing correctly. Here's what needs to happen is, I think the problem is the clipboard is blind So if I'm copying and pasting within the same document, then I do want to keep the formatting Yes, if I copy something that's like underlined or whatever else

I want to keep that and then paste somewhere else and then adjust it but clearly if I'm copying from anywhere else I don't give a fuck why it doesn't work Just make it work If I want it to be big or bold again I'll do it I'll figure it out Do not make me fucking go between six apps To paste something in an email

It should know if I've copied the text from a website Because if I did I clearly don't want to keep the formatting And I know some people right now are saying How about you don't just leave a little If there's one letter hanging off Don't fucking put it in there Just get rid of it

Some people right now are frantically typing Well you can right click And hit paste without formatting No you can't Not everywhere Not on your phone Not on your phone Not on your phone

You can't do it on your phone And you can't do it everywhere Everywhere else either. So fuck you. Exactly. I don't want to install some other fucking app. Remember when I was complaining about protein shakes that time? Sure.

Yeah. Remember that? That they're chalky and you don't know how to stir them correctly. And it doesn't work. Shaking it doesn't work. Stirring it doesn't work. Nothing works. It's always just chalk.

You have to live with it. Somebody told you to get a blender and it works fine. And I got the blender and I was like this is life changing. Yeah. Totally works. It's a little bit of a pain in the ass to clean out right away but otherwise it's like silky smooth. That fucker broke like three weeks in. Would you get like one of

those magic bullet blenders or something? What? What kind of blender did you get? I don't know. Whatever one Amazon said was the best. You gotta get the Ninja. I'm done. It's made by that was the best. You gotta get the Ninja. I'm done. It's made by that streamer kid. He makes blenders.

The one with the blue hair and the ugly wife? Yeah. Huh. He has a line of blenders. I don't want that, guys. I don't want some influencer's blender. Because he's always, you know, he needs so much energy to stream games all the time that he's always blending up these concoctions.

He is? Yeah. It's like his brand. What the fuck? He sits around playing video games, making smoothies for himself? Yeah, like in between rounds of Fortnite, he'll like grab a bunch of like blueberries and yogurt and I don't know. I don't know. He's like, well, he was always

blending shit and then he got like this big blender deal and I don't know. It's in all the stores. If Sam Hyde made a blender, I would buy it Not using a ninja No The Sam Hyde blender Sam Hyde made

That gold striker carrier I would buy the gold striker Gold striker made a blender Gold striker blenders put anything in it Put fucking pennies in it I don't care Bring that back Put a r anything in it put fucking pennies in it i don't care bring that bring that back put a rake in it bring the will it blend guys back yeah i bought my parents that fucking thing it was great we knew this guy who uh was insane and he uh was working for a printer company and his idea was we're

gonna do will it print and he would feel like ink cartridges with mustard huh but it wasn't funny because he had no charisma and obviously it never worked it would just get jammed and like a bunch of mustard would squirt all over the paper it wasn't even like funny it was just like tragic gross yeah it was gross and weird and it's the guy like it won't print see See, me describing it makes it sound good. It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's like one of those ideas where somebody says the idea and that's as good as it gets. And then they explain it and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. Ink has a very obvious viscous, whatever, fluid quality that anything else in an ink cartridge cartridge it would just jam

And like nothing would happen half the time or it would Like leak a little bit of mustard juice On the paper Like maybe the mustard Like pre-cum part at the top Would print and also it didn't make sense Because will it blend was proving how good The blender was

Will it print was just proving it was a Normal printer that you couldn't put mustard in Because why would It didn't even follow Do these still exist? I really want to find them this was like 15 years ago I remember like this was literally my buddy had it I think it was on a VHS tape

That we were watching at the fucking like Public access station 15 years ago It might be on YouTube Alright that's our problems. Those are some problems. Plea deals. Yours. Plea deals.

Bible truthers. And phone and paste formatting. Fear of bubble wrap. Fear of bubble wrap. Or is it bubble wrap? Yeah, fear of... I don't know if it's fear. I mean, what do you...

Bubble rapophobia. Call it fear of bubble wrap. People not using bubble wrap fearful People not using bubble rap For your Evangale Lelian Shitty Shitty shippers

Shitty shippers Shitty shippers Shitty shippers Alright Shitty shippers Um Shitty shipper Is it not shipper good

You had no context for that one You're just saying racist stuff I'm the new Shane Gillis Cancel me It worked out so well For that motherfucker God Well they won't make they won't pick on you for anything that you are it's just that you're a pedophile i'm like super racist all the time and i don't get any shit because they're all racist though so they get you know so they like that how come

they don't think miles morales is spider-man for wait first of all don't go down that road First of all Yeah Even my My nephews call Miles Morales Miles Morales So where is the confusion That he's Quote Spider-Man

And secondly Why is he not Spider-Man Like who's Who's not Who's Who has their panties in a bunch That he's not Spider-Man It's really

I don't know It's like a weird meme for them. I guess what they're just trying, they're trying to say they're like, well, he's not the original Spider-Man. It's like, yeah, we know. No shit. He's black. He's the black Spider-Man. We're like, yeah.

And he does like spray paint and stuff everywhere. And he's like, not any good. And the real Spider-Man and two of the real Spider-Men are in his movie. No shit. He's not the real Spider-Man. But we think the fucking pig is real Spider-Man are in his movie No shit, he's not the real Spider-Man We talked about this on one of the But we think the fucking pig is real Spider-Man too? We talked about this in our Spider-Man bonus episode Where there's this really weird conspiracy theory

That Miles Morales You know how there's been all these rights disputes Over these comic characters Where like Yeah Like Superman's family is like Hey, give us more money You know, because our Granddad created Superman or whatever

So the conspiracy Theory that's going around is that DC fucking Hard that was well they Fucked those guys see a man Superman Got an S on him Dude they fucked the Superman creators What's his deal America Oh wow how much money you want for that a billion

Dollars they did not give them that They didn't give them a billion they don't deserve shit for coming up with that crap. Come on. Schuster and Siegel deserve the world for coming up with it. Anyway, so the theory is that DC Comics, also because the, what do you call it? The copyrights are running out. Like, Superman's copyright has probably got another 10 years or whatever else. So the belief is that these characters like Miles Morales were created because

they were worried that when they lose the license to Peter Parker when it's public domain that they want to have a different Spider-Man. And then people are trying to say, well, that means he's a shittier character because he was only created out of copyright fears. And I'm like, first of all, you don't actually have any proof that he was created out of copyright fears.

And second of all, why does that matter? It's still a good character. Go vote up comic book shit from the bonus episode. Dude, it's so dumb. I hate comic fans. Anybody who buys a comic book is retarded. Here we go. Superkiller.org Hey, Dick. Biggest problem in the universe is

concert venues and their weird open container shit laws or whatever. I went to go see fucking Nickelbackback and for every uh beer that you order they have to open it for you right which is fine i get that i guess but the only fucking problem is that they decide the only water they're gonna sell is in fucking cans so my plan is to drink a shit ton of beer and then get like two or three waters load up on those slowly oh yeah big uh i got it Before Nickelback comes on and then continue to drink,

get myself a little bit hydrated. Um, that's when they give me three cans, they opened all three of them. And I try to explain to them, like, look, I'm going to be drinking them one at a time.

And they said, sorry, we can't, it's the rules. I said, yes, for alcohol, but this is just water.

It's just water. Sorry. It's the same rules. I'm like, if there's somebody I can talk to, cause I really, really just want this fucking water one at a time. Guess, it's the same rules. I'm like, if there's somebody I can talk to because I really, really just want the fucking water one at a time.

Guess what, buddy? And the fucking manager or whoever, fucking cocksucker McGee, gives me a goddamn problem saying like, oh, you really want me to risk my job so that you can have your water? Are you fucking kidding me, Bob? Yeah, I want you to blow your fucking brains out, dude. You want me to get like belligerently drunk and not drink water and then after to be on you? Like, fuck yourself, man.

Anyway, I love the show. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, it was a good argument to be made. What if I can't stay hydrated because I can only have one water at a time and then after the be on you like fuck yourself man anyway i love the show go fuck yourself yeah there's a good argument to be made what if i can't stay hydrated because i can only have one water at a time and then i fucking pass out and i die in the pit because you morons wouldn't sell me a sealed fucking can of water how would you like a plea deal yeah asking that deal for that how would you like you're looking at prison time hey speaking of open container laws i have a bonus problem i'd like to bring in okay uh it's venues where how do i put not venues i'm gonna tell you a story there's this restaurant called stuffed sandwich you've probably never heard of this place here's their deal they're actually like a place that sells like fancy craft beers from around the world, but they're not allowed to sell them to you because they're a restaurant.

You have to buy food and the food is fucking terrible. And I don't like craft beer anyway, but my buddy does. And this place is right near my house. So he comes over and he's like, Hey, we should go to stuff sandwich so I can buy weird $20 European beers. And I have to eat this shitty,

like the worst sandwich I've ever had Cause he's not allowed to just buy the beer Why don't you just buy the beer and give it to him No neither of us can buy the beer Without someone buying food Oh you don't want the sandwich either way No Why don't you just say no

Cause I'm the nice guy How come these guys can never get their weird beers anywhere else I don't know Like oh I've gotta get this one specific beer at this place. I'm like, how does that place stay in business? It's like a terrible sandwich shop run by like an 80-year-old woman who has never made a good sandwich in her life, apparently. I'm like, what is this? It's fucking terrible.

Liquor laws, man. Liquor laws. Okay. Here's another one. Let's see here. This is relating to public urination. I was driving across country and I pull into this gas station and this black dude is pumping his gas and he's got his back to me

and his legs are spread. I'm like, what the fuck is this guy doing? And he's just standing there pissing at the gas station. Why? I assume I bet the fucking bathroom was out so I go inside and take a piss myself clean this guy was just like in such a hurry you couldn't I don't know why this guy's voicemail is cut I wish he would have been arrested that day he's fucking shot because uh it was so gross and weird because we live in a fuck society video we don't whip our dicks Out and piss in public Oh yeah

He's sitting in Why not That guy's a fucking champion Fill up one tank Empty another It's a fucking One spot transaction Yeah

Alright The gas place Makes money Uh huh And then I guess The next guy who pumps gas Has to stand and urine Okay I understand

Swash it off with some gas No big deal You know how they got Those trash cans At the gas Oh yeah Let people piss in the trash can People would love to clean that out

The gas station should have Urinals between Every Agreed Past pump station They should have those Half urinals everywhere Yes

The guys can just stand in And like Oh yeah Look around while you're pissing We need public urinals That feed directly into the sewer No problem No fuss It would help out All the fucking homeless people Well We need public urinals That feed directly into the sewer No problem, no fuss

It would help out all the fucking homeless people Well That's a bad part Yeah If there's some way it could hurt them Put a little, like a quarter on it So they can't use it It snaps shut

Yeah, right on their dick Yeah, why not Alright, so I'm not gonna listen to the whole episode yet But I just wanted to say that Vito's an idiot and congressional term limits are two years long, yes, but

term limits for the Senate are six years. Wait, did he just get it right or backwards? He got it backwards. He's an idiot. So you're an idiot. Congress is known as a bicameral chamber oh here we go unless you got it right did he get it right are you trolling he's got it no of course now look it up you're trolling me god damn it congressman all right so congress is two years

senate is six in england you asshole make up the parliament fuck you so, you're just kind of dumb. Bye. Okay, whatever. I got it reversed. Whatever. Fuck me. Okay. Let's see one more, maybe. Oh, okay. Eric July.

Something about. This is the one we heard. Whoops, whoops, whoops. I thought that was a voicemail. My mistake. Wait, are we the Imagine Dragons of podcasts? Did you say that that i don't know veto what the fuck saying you guys are the seinfeld of podcast means that you're funny and your comedy is timeless it's a great compliment why in the fuck would you want to be

the imagined dragons is that what you wanted to be? Did I say that? Maybe. Sounds like something you'd want to be. Sometimes just to call you my dad. I'm pretty sure I didn't call us the Imagine Dragons of podcast because I don't think about Imagine Dragons at all. Not even a little bit? I can't even name an Imagine Dragons song. Clocks? How's that one go?

We are the imagined Imagines of dragons That's not how that goes Can you imagine A dragon Who's saying kryptonite? I want to be those guys Of podcasts

Spin doctors No no no We got a copyright claim What Oh fuck you We always get copyright claims Fuck copyrights If I go crazy

Then would you still listen To my podcast Oh yeah okay It is the best podcast And now we're gonna Read super chats Oh god Guys don't forget to vote

On all the problems At biggestproblem.show Thanks to all our supporters At back.by Slash biggestproblem And patreon.com Sl slash biggest problem where you can listen to the bonus episode that set a black millionaire into a total retarded fit the biggest problem yeah a real millionaire moment after listening to our review he is completely falling apart uh he really thought this i'm going to accuse these guys He said something about Nick Rikita

I have a whole He's mad at Nick Rikita I have a 10 minute clip of Nick listening to Eric July I'll probably listen to it on my show Well cause Eric told everybody These two guys are trying to sabotage my business Yeah And we said

Well we're not We just want to make fun of your comic books Well we are cause your comic sucks And people shouldn't buy it Well yeah The only amount of fucking with your business is telling people that your product sucks, but that's within... And it sucks. Yeah. We're not running out and telling a troll army to...

Bro, stop breaking the fucking law. If you don't want to get sued by guys who own trademarks, don't fucking infringe on their fucking trademark. I'm not selling shirts that say Mickey Mouse on it. It wouldn't be someone else's fault if I got sued for fucking doing that. Would it? I have the trademark for the biggest problem in the fucking universe. Don't I? It's called fucking step one, bro.

Google, protect yourself. Fuck you if you think it's our fault. It's nobody's fault. It's your fault. Just figure out your trademark dispute, man. Figure it out. How you rocked our lawyers. Don't make YouTube videos like calling out Like just talk to their lawyer

And like handle it like an adult And he really thought like again It's been he told everybody in that video He said and I have more receipts I got older receipts And I'm gonna show you I got a shoebox And I'm like

Alright well like what else What are you talking about I don't think I did anything I'm not gonna show you. I got a shoebox. And I'm like, and I'm like, all right, well, like what else? What the fucking receipt's saying, bro? I'm like, what are you talking about? Cause I don't, I don't think I did anything.

I want to know what he thinks I did. And now I'm realizing he doesn't have anything. Cause I didn't do anything. He broke the law. Yeah. I didn't do, we didn't do anything. He broke the law.

Not anyone else. Nobody else. This is really weird that he's able to, he told me. I didn't even break a law I don't care about Like fucking doing coke Or like doing drugs or fucking driving drunk Like you broke a real obvious law That you are definitely gonna get caught with

I guess what's driving me nuts Is that His whole audience was like He has all sorts of secret information On you guys and he's gonna nail you to the wall And I'm like Fucking blow me And I'm like well what does he got you guys, and he's going to nail you to the wall. And I'm like, okay. Fucking blow me.

And I'm like, well, what does he got? And they're like, he's going to show us. And then you're going to be. And now he's never going to show it, and they're all just not talking about it anymore. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. What happened to the he has secret information bullshit? You can't just like stop, be like, well, that doesn't matter anymore. He's a pedophile.

It very much does matter. Yeah. Don't change it to like, he's a fat pedophile, so I that doesn't matter anymore. He's a pedophile. It very much does matter. Yeah. Don't change it to like, he's a fat pedophile, so I can say whatever. No. You said you have secret fucking information. What is it? Tell me. And you don't have it, so just admit you fucking lied about having it, because there's nothing,

because we didn't fucking do anything. It's infuriating. You don't have shit, man. I had his entire fan base. I have so many comments saying,'s gonna sue you into the ground And I'm like well for what what do you mean And now they're just like well that doesn't matter He was never gonna sue you anyway I'm like you all told me He was gonna sue me

You should work this out in private Is what they keep telling me I'm like he's the psychopath who says he has secret magic Information about me How about this Eric July if you have secret magic information About me or don't kill yourself sure do that yourself in your empty warehouse run yourself over with your forklift gonna clip that like run yours run yourself over with your fucking forklift like

Roger like Roger Rabbit who named Roger Rabbit. Who framed Roger Rabbit? Please live forever. Oh, my warehouse! When I killed your comic, I talked like this! Coup de two! Thank you for not killing yourself. Eric Goliath resolving in plot. I don't want Eric Goliath to kill himself. Oh, character arc! I don't want Eric Goliath to die. Drowning in fucking inventory.

I just want him to stop lying about my podcast. Jesus Christ. Cool for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Riley for two. Bunny. Tortoise for dick. Gorilla.

Stop. Nope. How could you not see that? He also gave bunnies to Eric. Everybody gets a bunny. Zeta. Quinkcell for two. Bunny, thank you for not killing yourselves. Tortoise.

Thanks. Kick him for a big $10 on the board. Dick, I'm sorry for not being able to send you the emoji of the rabbit and turtle combined into one single animal on Twitter a few days ago. It's a feature only available on Android and Google phones. Oh. Well, way to go, man. An absurd existence for two.

I'm here to see MF Doom. The God of Sleep, $ Sleep 215 for $10. Billions of bunnies bound by a burning ambition. Bounce briskly, breaking barriers, and brave the battlefield to become the boldest of champions on their bouncy victory. You got two. What is the champions one and the victory one? You couldn't.

Yeah, you missed a couple. Thesaurus For those What's a B word For victory I don't know The boon Bouncy Boon

Yeah bounce I don't know Prince man for two How much do an entire episode Is called a prayer Fuck you Pop quiz for a big Twenty dollars

I need another Hot goss Sticker They're all out You should have Bought it before Should have made them Jarvo for six.

Very cool show. Jacob Buckingham for 10. First time catching you guys live from the wasteland known as the UK. Thanks for making the night shift easier. Thanks. We're here for the working man, Jacob. Thank you. Sam Tums for two.

Hi, Dick slash Vito. Thanks for the amazing streams. Hi. Thank you. You're welcome. Sam Tums for $15 even with a picture of a bunny. Yes. Is that what you. You're welcome. Monster Slayer for $15 even. With a picture of a bunny. Yes.

Is that what she actually contributed? Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think we should open this first. Oh, okay. It probably has a wig. Amazon has like a gift.

Here's how we made millions. Yeah. There's a note. You read that. Okay. There's a note. You read that. Okay. A gift for you. Ahmed says, here's how he made millions on his terrible comic. And then it says, writing comics.

A guide to writing comics. Wow. Scripting your story ideas from start to finish by Andy Schmidt. There's probably some good stuff in there. Could help you out with your comic or anybody out with a comic. Fred Van Lente says, this book contains invaluable insight and practical application

from one of the best comic writers in the industry. Well, I'm already an expert myself, so I won't need access to this information. Okay. But it does include things about character art. We'll check it out. See if Eric's... Also, a muscle shirt to show you he means business.

I don't know. What size shirt is this? Oh, 5XL. That's probably for me. Will that fit? Can you do an Eric July impression? We know I can do an Eric July impression. It's perfect. Let's see here.

They made all the receipts the same size How much shit did he send you in one box? I don't know, a lot of stuff There's a bunch of muscle shirts in here I'm not taking my shirt off on camera Why not? You think it's going to be better? I think it's going to be a snapshot

Okay This is also This says, hi Vito Not so much a wig for your head, but this is an Eric July starter pack Oh, maybe that was the first one. I Don't know. Let me see It's oh, yeah, this looks like These better be werewolf gloves

Yes They're Yes they have claws These are werewolf gloves Just so everybody knows It's a werewolf glove And then some sort of a box Can't wait to see how this looks.

Wait, put on your... I'm going to pull on my... My ear gloves. That's how it looks. These are werewolves. Okay, now I know what you're saying. These are wolf gloves. Yes, they're werewolf gloves.

They're from a wolf. That's the animal. Hi, Maddie. Oh, yeah, look at these arms I got Jesus Christ yeah I got a I gotta be using gonna hit the weights let's put it that way got a hat does Eric does he wear black hats he wears the rip of verse hats which I actually own one okay well sure why not what will you not wear I guess you look more like you look more like a Linda Hamilton from Terminator 2 but real Real quick, make sure the audio, just play it on this thing so we can hear it. I'm going to have to.

Thanks for the costume, I guess. Yeah. I don't know about the werewolf hands. Okay, it's going. It's working. We're back. Okay, so I have an entire Eric July Starter kit. I have my guide to writing comics. My cool...

That was the best they could do for shoulder hair? Give me those. I need to fix those. Give me a boa or something. Give you what? Give me one of those gloves. Okay. How are you going to fix it?

Here, you read Super Chats. I'm going to fix it. Okay. I have no idea what's happening. All right. Let's get back to the super chats. It's down. Yeah, we're all the way down.

Okay. We got a bunch of super chats. Okay. Monsterslayer for 15 with a bunny. Thank you. SB for two. One million billion more billion bunnies. Absolutely.

David Gomez for five. Jesus, just put the logo on a black shirt. I don't want to walk around with a fleshy mount on my shirt. Okay. All right. Tried to be creative. We'll have two shirts. Isaac Solomon for two. Call to prayer for Josh Denny's car. R.I.P. car.

Koo for two. The first line of merch should be the main logo. Yeah, I know. Treo Doug says, I'm sorry, Vito, but I need that shirt and it's great and I love you. Okay. I hear you. Preston S for two. Is bunnies a racial slur? No.

Nate Ring for two says, I like the new glasses. I hate these glasses and I only wore them because I can't find my normal pair. I got to find. I actually want to buy a new pair of glasses. I want big, big frames. An Evangelion glasses? I think they do have Evangelion glasses. Where one side's Asuka, another one's Red. Red, blue parallel.

That'd be hot. General Zeptik for $9.99. Hey, Vito, you should check out this brave soldier named Boneface. He fought for freedom and democracy in Ukraine. He has 36 confirmed kills. You'd love him since you support what he fought for. Okay. I'm sure he has 36 confirmed kills you'd love him since you support what he fought for okay i i'm sure he's a nazi i get it he's a nazi i understand borfus for two the best t-shirt i'll never buy in the universe okay cots for big big big big 25

dollars talk to the rotc guys about merch they got a hookup at gas where they just give a concept pick and the team there runs with it. All kinds of colors, adjustments, etc. No warehouse needed. All right. I think that shirt's going to look good in black and white. You guys will see. We had a black and white mock-up

that looks better in the colored one. Monster Slayer for five. Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt was the greatest comedian in history. Why do I feel like that's a reference to something I don't want to know about? Dominic for two. House is two years two years Senate is six you are tards I think dick was trolling me just L bond for five you don't love the shirt

But your face to show more pain if you're being raped from behind by dick It's not really what I was going for but sure kick him for five veto. You're completely wrong. I know I'm an idiot Okay, fuck yeah, everyone have to tell me I get everything wrong, okay? So yeah, I looked it up and I got it wrong Zeta coins Excel for 50 big dollars on the board. I Feel like I feel like this bits getting away from us throwing this towards the call to prayer jar Hopefully we can convert these warehouse employees to the fluff side We got to convert diamond Diamond G for five.

Vito backwards on the shirt. Horace McGree for five. Cool show. Dumb username for 10 Australian. Dick in the One Piece anime. The fat pirate lady forced her crew to call her beautiful, but Luffy calls her fat to her face, giving the glasses kid courage to her fat too.

Only then does Luffy help him. So there's a fat lady in the one piece. Yeah, but she's not fat enough. What, the actress? In the show she was, yeah, in the anime she was like super duper fat. That would, like Mimi, if she was like Mimi from Juke Harry, I'd be all in. But it was just like Margaret Cho fat. Like, oh, yeah, it has that sometimes.

Okay, I want to see how I look. You look great. You look just like Eric Cho fat. Yeah, it has that sometimes. Okay. I want to see how I look. You look great. You look just like Eric July. Stop it. Why do I get the feeling that someday I'm going to be on a show and they're going to go, so you imitated a black man on your podcast. You did black shoulder. Yeah, you did black shoulder.

Do you regret doing black shoulder? Yeah, yes, I do. And I would never do Black Shoulder again. I would never do it again. Wet Bandit for five. I'd actually respect Eric if he had hired illegals to run his warehouse and paid them less than minimum wage. It would be the only way to beat 3PL. Yeah, paying his buddies.

He's in Texas. Why doesn't he pay a bunch of fucking... He can't, though. Because his buddies are shaking him down for money. I think that's why. Did you see he's starting a... Like, libertarian... A libertarian ripoff tim pool yeah yeah politics house yeah he's trying to get like his shitty bass player like in on this politics

thing man you just cannot whatever let these guys run over you see that's what people don't understand again i saw eric your friends are taking advantage of you, Eric. Eric made another video today where he's like, these guys are trying to destroy my company. And it's like, I'm not. You're an idiot. Your company sucks and it's going to go bankrupt because you're stupid. Well, also, I don't want to destroy your company. If anything, I think it's kind of funny how much money you take from these people.

Like, as I've said multiple times, just run a fig campaign That lets people Invest in owning A part of your Comic book company Don't bother with the comic And then you don't even

Have to try anymore Yeah Then you just be like Well I already got Ten million dollars From uh Yeah All these morons

Uh dumb username Five watch the One piece anime All the women's boobs Get bigger throughout The story Oh Even the fat pirate

Returns thin With big boobs That's not gonna happen In the live action though Uh yeah They won't do that shit The girl throughout the story, even the fat pirate, returns thin with big boobs. That's not going to happen in the live action, though. Yeah, they won't do that shit. Maybe they will. Nah, she'll come back black or something. I think the boobs of the actress look acceptable.

Plus, in real life, you can't make as good of boobs as you can make in cartoons. So what the fuck's the point? Jossum197845 says, how tall is Vito? I'm six foot 295 pounds and I don't look like a fat body like him. 38 inch waist, 54 chest. I'm six foot. Yeah, you're tall. I've stood next to you. We're like the same height. I don't know, man. Post some pics, Jossum.

What are you talking about? I'm not fat. I'm fucking totally muscular, bro. Okay, that looks disgusting. Let's keep those on the side. Let's see. John Riffs for five. Bunny's working on Isom number two edited edition. Please keep this

not a feud going on forever. Yeah. It's not a feud, guys. Rock and roll, Kim. It'll end at some point. Isom will end at some point. Eric will write a big press release about

how he learned so much and they made such a big dent in comics, but that he's got to shut the doors of the Ripiverse It's just really weird the people he fights with Yeah Where I'm like like that Vicky girl is nobody

I think she listens to the show So mean to her Yeah and I'm like I'm not saying that in a way Like you know like fuck her I'm just like she's like a thousand Subscribers or something And I'm like dude I think if you're like You know like a thousand like a thousand subscribers or something and i'm like dude i think if you're like you know like they they call her the shit that i've never called women on oh man

i think she's fought with a lot of comics gate guys i get it like oh she has but like yeah like the comics guys can fight with her because like they have like small little campaigns like it's on the same level it's like you're literally a multi-millionaire and you're going at like some dumb lady who made from your comic goes like a couple thousand like just just don't do that it's so weird man that's the thing he doesn't act like a success a successful person doesn't act like this a successful person what does he act like would you if you had to sum Well, let's just... Monster Slayer for five. I can't possibly think of any words. Can't catch me. I think I missed one. Oh, they would love if we fucked that up, but it's never going to happen.

Maybe a certain Batman villain someday can weigh in on what he thinks. Gentlemen, I only recently discovered you and I'm better off for doing so. Love your energy. Fuck Maddox, July, and their BS lawsuits. I agree. Monster Slayer for five Australian. Bible doesn't say anything about gay sex, but it does say to sacrifice your firstborn to Yahweh. It does. LP Dirty T for two. It's an abortion, isn't it?

There's a lot of that. So that should be mandatory abortions for Bible people. Can we get a vetoes Bible study? Well, you just got it here today. We're talking about golden hemorrhoids. Borfus for two. Nick Fuentes is an angel confirmed. I'm going to deny that. No, because he's saying, well, he's making a cowboy joke.

I don't approve of that. Well, obviously, I can't not approve of it because I approve of cowboys in general. I'm stuck in this horrible position where I can't judge anyone because I don't care what anyone does unless they're making bad art. We're living in a... We're being hypocrites. I called into Ralph and I'm like, Ralph, I don't know how everybody wants me to turn on you, but I don't know what to say because you behave in public exactly

as you behave in private. So there's nothing to really joke about. They're asking me to answer for Ethan Ralph and I'm like, look, man, I know Ethan Ralph. Like, you and Ethan Ralph are like good friends. I've hung out with Ethan like once. We're not like buddies.

You don't even call him Ralph. Yeah, right. Exactly. And they're like, you need to answer for what Ethan Ralph did. And you need to disown him. And I'm like, I don't even fucking, I barely know the fucking guy, man. He lives in Mexico. When do I see Ralph?

Yeah, everyone's mad at Ralph for some reason. Trio Doug for five Satan wasn't even considered the ruler of hell Until Paradise Lost Before that, he was just a jobber That got backed the fuck out Backed the fuck off And sent to the cut cage for eternity

He was another god Until he got Until Paradise Lost That's the weird thing, man Is like so many Christians and Catholics Don't know what like The origin of it They're like, yeah, it's in the Bible. No, it's fucking

not. He's the ruler of hell. Yeah, he's the ruler of hell. He's not the ruler of hell at that point. Well, there's that part where Jesus goes down to the ninth circle of hell and fights him in the ice and you're like, no, no, that didn't happen. Jacob Cersei for 500 Japanese yen. My comic, Moses 1.

Oh. M-O-S-I-S is now available for free. AI-generated art and no-drop plot threads. A link to the PDF is in both Discords. Guys, don't forget to check out Moses. Might resemble. Moses. Yeah.

It's almost like another hero's name reversed for some reason. Oh, Moses. Moses. Maximum impact games for Fives. Vito knows that Bible story about Lot because of Brad Neely. Don't forget to credit your memes. Actually, I mean, I do know the Brad Neely video,

but I just looked up crazy Bible stories, and of course the Lot one. Everyone knows the story of Lot. I mean, it's not. Everyone knows the pillar of salt. I'm going to have to cite that one. He did shake his most unsexing stick or whatever it is.

I love Brad Neely, by the way. Gentlemen Sausage for Five stopped by to say it occurs to me that in order to get people to watch his Asterios hit piece, meet Maddox Road Wang's Enigma, his Enigma. Do you know where that's from? No. Maddox's girlfriend, who's now his ex-girlfriend, not her, another one, said that- Yeah, Metal Jess She had this big meltdown saying that I'm just riding Maddox's enigma

You were Yeah What did she think enigma meant? Well, it's tough to say Did she mean like he's an enigmatic Individual He's not Enigmatic doesn? He's not.

Enigmatic doesn't come from enigma, does it? Yes, but you certainly can't ride it unless you're, maybe like the riders have lost. I think you, I sometimes feel like you ride my enigma. Oh. And I hope you'll stop. Trio Doug says, loving this dark veto arc. Anyone calling you a pedophile should be put to the sword inshallah they're not going anywhere man they're just gonna

it's gonna keep doing it they're just gonna keep being little hate mongers and I don't know if it makes some money keep doing it I guess what bandit for 10 Melanie Mack giving Bible lessons on Twitter is legitimate blasphemy here's a quote from the Bible women should learn quietly and submissively I do not let women teach men or have

authority over them. Timothy 211 and 212. Yeah, shut your mouth, woman. Lord Llewellyn for $7.99. About four years ago, Eric July released a video talking about how much he liked Miles Morales and how he's not just a reskin of Peter Parker. Yeah, these guys are all fucking

hypocrites. Just Ebon for $5.00 Australian. I'm nervous about the anti-Semitic Torah bashing in this episode. Is this a result of Elon going after the ADL? No, see, the Jews are smart because I don't think I've ever met a Jew who's like, yeah, the Bible is like 100%. They're like, well, it's just more of a loose

collection of stories and we learn from them. They don't go, and that's why we hate gays and we fight. No no maybe like the real like hardcore like hasidic jews but oh yeah they're fucked but that's like a whole those guys don't hang out on the internet giving bible study man they're just like a whole they can't do the internet sex yeah they're not they're hanging out the wailing wall all day yeah when i went there that's just like a fucking cavern of them

Have you seen the videos of them? The holy day is Saturday or Sunday? Sabbath Saturday There's the videos of them in Jerusalem on Saturday They just walk around and if you're a storekeeper Doing anything They beat you

No they just stand outside of your shop And they just go And you're like Guys I'm just cleaning a window Like I just gotta clean just go And you're like Guys I just I'm just cleaning a window Like I just gotta clean the window And they're like Get it

And you know They just yell at you Until you stop Jerusalem is a Is a hell hole Yeah It's so fucking dumb I kinda wanna go though

We should nuke Yeah yeah go Yeah I rubbed my balls On the wailing wall And the slab Where they Where they where they butchered Jesus after they pulled him down off the cross. I saw a video of some fat Jewish guy from Brooklyn, and if you go there, they just have

a bunch of stuff. It's like the stuff they just stole from the Palestinians. And then I got a picture of me going like this, on the wailing wall. You did an AOC at the migrant camp yeah crying at the fence i want free palestinian territory but i can't get it because i'm not a jew and i'm sad uh let's see melanie mack uh dj for 10 australian says melanie mack is a 36 year old christian woman with no children. God is good. Lemon Trashy for two says,

Vito, make a kid's channel and play with your Eva toys. I actually showed off some of my Eva toys on channel a couple weeks ago. I got this cool little Mighty Max Evangelion play set. It's great. Panic Pun for five. My biggest problem is there hasn't been a Monday Night Grift in a long time. I might move that to Tuesdays. I was finding out that nobody could stream on Monday nights for some reason. That's why I couldn't get any guests to come on the show. You've got a bunch of grift in a long time. I might move that to Tuesdays. I was finding out that, like, nobody could stream on Monday nights for some reason. That's why I couldn't get any guests.

You've got a bunch of shit going on on Monday. Tuesdays are good, though. Yeah, Tuesdays are good. So I might try doing it on Tuesdays because I'd be like, hey, Tony, for Act of the Movies, come on. I'm busy. Dick, come on. I'm busy. I'm like, oh, fuck.

I'm going to try Tuesday. Zetta Crensel for Two says I'm a proud owner of the Evangelion razor, glasses, and ring. That's great. There's a great commercial of Shinji's dad who yells at him and tells him to get in the robot. No. Okay, well, he has a full angry goatee. And they made an Evangelion razor. And it's him.

And he shaves off his beard. And all of a sudden, he's not like a horrible dad anymore. He's all happy. And it's like, see, if you get the Evangelion razor you won't psychologically torture your son and force him to wear his razor. Yeah. Anti-woke. Mr. Gassman for five, when are you going to review the Evangelion series and the new movies?

Go to the Hack the Movies channel and watch me and Tony's review of Evangelion 1.11. It was actually a really funny review. And he said, Tony said it was the worst rated, the worst watched one. Yes, because he made a shitty thumbnail shitty thumbnail oh he put the robot in the thumbnail instead of the hot anime chicks that's dumb always put the hot anime chicks he sandbagged you you're right you're right i was like tony i finally like a week later i went well yeah because your thumbnail

sucks you should have put the hot anime chicks your thumbnail sucks and you suck and you suck i'm always like uh whenever i see tony uploads a video i always like nag him i'm like man that's a shitty title for a video no one's gonna click on that yeah i think it's all mad uh cool for two ignore veto that ng shit is dope thank you eric wong for five i don't know anyone who likes evangelion who is happy with their life that's a good point jack rockstar for five Gendo literally cloned His wife as a 13 year old girl Vito He didn't have sex with her

Is that the bad guy? Uh Debatable Say yes Okay He's not a good guy Mr. Cool Ice is here For 50

For the Evangelion Rap Fund Let's wrap it up folks Give me a quote Somebody give me a quote On an Evangelion Rap A porno version No I'm not gonna get I've seen those raps

A little bathing suit With a skate version How do they not get pulled over With some of that shit I'm like you can't have that On your car Big Chungus for two Free speech man

I hate to say it But Vito looks less fat Was that before or after I put on the wife beater Definitely before Aklevich 5 Vito who's the best girl In Evangelion

Don't say Mari Mario doesn't exist she is so therefore she's best no fuck her Asuka then Masato though that's how you pronounce that Asuka Asuka Asuka's Asuka if we were pronouncing into Japanese it would be three syllables would be Asuka okay but the Japanese you know when there's an ass they usually push it together, so they go Oscar Oscar Oscar Oscar see Oscar so you lonely That's my Shinji impression Let's see Ouija board for five wait't Nerve literally made up of PDF files? Look.

I knew it. I fucking knew it. I didn't even watch the dumb show. I remember Masato kissing Shinji and promising more later. Okay, there is a scene where Masato kisses a 13-year-old boy and says, let's do the rest later. They insinuate. and says, let's do the rest later. They insinuate.

Okay, but you have to put it in context. What? Well, I'm not going to spoil it. For whom? I'm not watching this pedophile shit. You should watch it. Me and Tony, we're going to do a whole podcast where we watch every episode. How big are her tits?

Masato's tits are good. You would like Masato. Okay, that's fine. Masato's an adult woman. Yeah. She's not a teenager. Koo for two. Nerve is just German for nerve.

Yes. Tristan Sweden for two. Adrian is cool and handsome. Jay Thompson for two. Make Yellow Flash your next R-Stone. We're working on it. Sarah Miller's husband, Mr. Miller for two. Dick, you're so darn handsome.

I love you too, Vito. Melissa Baker for five. Here's five for Vito to buy anything he wants and Dick to mind his business. There's nothing wrong with collecting stuff. Thank you, Melissa. Yeah, everything's wrong with it. I'm going to go on Whatnot and buy some NES games. The waste of money.

Whatever. We're all going to die anyway. Not enjoying it. Just compulsively buying it. He who dies with the most toys wins. The worst part of my hoarding is that all this shit is in like closets waiting until I can get a bigger place and display it. I keep going.

Someday I'm going to have a place for all this stuff. This is an addiction that you have. It is an addiction. You got to stop it. I'm just not addicted to like fucking life ending drugs. At least it's an addiction To cool toys And colorful things That remind me Of a better time

First of all Drugs aren't life ending Some of them can be Cyanide perhaps Yes No one's addicted to that Slim Willis for five Says pretty sure

The Evangelion stuff I sent you Wasn't even fragile And I still use bubble wrap Slim Willis sent me A bunch of Evangelion stuff What? Why?

I was actually going through it Because it was a bunch of They have these Don't enable this shit, send me fucking toys. They have these lotteries. Take his toys away. Come to his house. Steal them. It wasn't like anything fancy. They do these lotteries. I know, it wasn't fancy.

It was a bunch of fucking anime shit. You buy a lottery ticket and you're trying to win like an Evangelion figure, but if you don't get the figure, you get like a door prize. So it's like a bunch of Evangelion like hand towels and stuff. Whatever, I want them. They're cool. Turkey Sandwich for two. His and his.

Turkey Sandwich tries to get me to say TBF. Shut up. Niva Down South for five. We need a warehouse for you guys. That guy, wait, when anyone whenever someone criticizes you, you can say, do you even warehouse? Do you have a warehouse, bro? Let's see your warehouse. I feel like I'm having a stroke today.

Do you even have a fucking warehouse, bro? I'm having trouble reading some of these, I think these glasses suck. You can blow it up here. Give it to me, I'll blow it up. No, just hit control plus. What? What the fuck? Man, you don't know your keyboard shortcuts?

No. Okay. Let's see. You made it small No, it's Control plus again It'll skip back to the top So you did it again

Stop scrolling There I scrolled down Yeah Okay How's everybody doing? Man, we got a lot of Oh shit, there's a lot of super chats

Everybody loves this Now you're down too far now Everybody loves this Alright, we need a warehouse Got it Case window for five Stop saying Congress is two years. I fucking got it. Wet Bandit for five.

I just realized Maddox and Eric both have an aversion to 3PL. Didn't Maddox keep his immersion racks in his bedroom? I also thought of that. They both have a weird thing about needing to do shipping. Well, I have. I mean, I'm going to ship my stuff, but I don't have that much.

They have a compulsion Of having max inventory And also controlling all shipping I understand that it's fun to ship stuff But once you have 20,000 orders You gotta be like Okay well this is too much Uh

ASE presents For $3 Says hire 3 Doors Down To do a Super Killer theme song If I was Super Killer Would you call me Superman? Oh yeah Uh

Was that 3 Doors? That's not Three Doors Down, is it? I don't know. Now I'm thinking of Third Eye Blind. I just know. I'll never be your woman. Shred 2010 for five. I always expect bubble wrap when ordering fragile things,

though often they pack it with sturdy stuff. TBF bubble wrap won't protect records that well. Yeah, so. Well, they should have got the right size box then they should have smashed it for no no they should have smash them all smash all that big bubble wrap that shit's great with the huge bubbles that'll protect anything oh yeah bob's the man for 10 bunnies and tortoise interference god of sleep for two i don't know blame chat david gomez for two bunnies and Razors. Oh, razor blade

Yeah, shave it. Christopher Marsh for five Vito, can you stop being a woman on Twitter with all your emotions? It's gross. I'm going through a very strange time in my life, folks It's a transitory period. I'm really sorry. Deal with me I'm not getting into it anymore

I'm not getting into it anymore Remember when I had a mental breakdown because i want to be honest with people and i want to not just constantly have up this fake yeah it was hilarious yeah okay yeah it was the best fucking moment and i said you know what going through a lot thanks everybody who's been helping me out you know there's a lot of people who fucking hate me for some crazy i don't even understand it like Yes, if you're fans of these retards, obviously fine. You can be upset with me. But the vitriol of we need to end his

life. I'm like, can I just not? I'm not a fan of your fave, your stupid biblical lady who gets on stream and goes, and the reason that the gays are working for Satan, I just think this is all tired 90s religious tribalism bullshit.

I think the Eric Goliath shit is all your stupid political... We gotta own the libs because they're making comic books. So you only demean their religion and their politics. Right? That's all you did.

Well, I did say something about Eric Goliath today that everybody apparently thinks is over the line. I don't know. Oh, that at least you grew up with a dad. He calls me fat. I make fun of the fact that he grew That at least you grew up With a dad He calls me fat

I make fun of the fact That he grew up In a fatherless household I feel like those are Equivalent exchange I don't know why He's allowed to call me fat And I can't say

He grew up without a dad That's like That's on par No? My girlfriend says Her favorite bit That all of us do Ralph

You know all of us Is when people are Pissing up go I don't even know what I did. I can't even. I'm just sitting over here minding my own business. I don't even know why people are pissed at me. It's not Eric's fault he grew up without a father, but it's clearly the reason behind his constant backlash. He clearly made the right choice. Yeah, if I was his dad, I would have ran for the fucking hills.

Get his dad's review of eyes off. Oh, I would kill for that. Please don't contact me. We get to hire a private eye. Please don't contact me. Find Eric's dad. Don't tell him anything about the author of a comic. Stop.

Just get him to sit down and read the comic. It doesn't even have to be the real guy. We could just fake it because no one would know. We're not doing this bit. I'm not going to find. That find such a funny bit, though. I'm going to leave Eric July as a strange father out of this stupid internet

feud. Okay, because God called you a pedophile. Has the thought crossed my mind? Yes. And I pushed it down because come on, we're not we're not going to do that. Look at this comic. I was like, I wonder if I could find his dad in the phone book. And I pushed it down because come on, we're not going to do that. What do you think of this comic? I was like, I wonder if I could find his dad in the phone book. And I went, don't.

You're not going that far. Come on. I did. I was struck. But we've already thunk it up. So we're not doing it. What's the difference? I disavowed that bit. It's too much. Straight beans for $7.99. This morning my GF backed out of my car, then drove off without saying anything.

She probably doesn't even know. Yeah, she probably doesn't know. They never do. Joe Cool for two. Maddox and Eric's Legion of R-Words muted stream. The God of Sleep, $2.15 for two. Gay Ops Audio. That's my dog.

Eric July Armhair for a big 20 on the board. Hashtag Billion Bunny Army. I'm currently hiding in Eric July's van. I don't know which one. They are identical. JJ for two says, wow, is that Phil Labonte from All That Remains? Hey, this is more of a Phil Labonte cosplay. He doesn't like that.

Lemon Trashy for two. Get some shoe put... No. No, no. No. He wants to complete the costume. King N64 for 10. Vino, you look like you're ready to sucker folks to send you millions on a comic.

No, I'm going to give you guys a good comic. J.O. Ray for 10. Bob's the man for 10. No freebies in the middle. Don't have enough money to make a free online version. Yes to an R.I.P. car show. I don't know if Josh Teddy's okay with it. He was not happy that we talked about it on the show.

So I think he's over it now, but he's like, did you really have to make our friendship into drama for the show? And I'm like, kind of. I don't know. Not all the time. I promote your fucking comedy show. It came up organically. Yeah, it came up organically.

And you're getting a free promotion. Josh Denny in Vegas this weekend. Yeah, go see it. On the End Racism Tour. Tickets are still available. So please look it up and head on over. Not only will you see Josh Denny, but also Gavin McGinnis and Anthony Cumia. And Asian Pat Dixon. Is heia. And Asian Pat Dixon.

Is he there? And Asian Pat Dixon will be there. God, his things are so funny. He's fucking... He does impressions, but he has like a face thing. It's so good. Like a Snapchat thing. To turn into different celebrities.

Yeah. Did you see his RFK talking about Asians clip? No. I'll show you after the show. I laughed my fucking ass off. They were talking about like the Find it yeah we'll find it Joe cool for two there are where those are

Warehouse Gloves Warehouse wolf It's a full moon Eric Get in the warehouse Warehouses Inventory The warehouses That warehouse is haunted.

That's why he needs to keep hiring employees, is that the warehouse. Warehouse keeps eating them. If he goes into the warehouse at night, he turns into a monster and kills his own employees. Make sure you ship all the copies I saw before the full moon. That's when the warehouse turned into a warehouse. Turns into a what? How does a warehouse turn into a warehouse? A where?

W-A, well, I guess it's spelled the same way both ways. Regardless, get out of here. Your lives are in danger. Why do you think I bought so many extra copies of ISOM so I can encase myself in them like a cage and keep myself trapped? Was that a joke about he can't spell or you can't spell? Werewolf.

Spell it. W-E-R-E? Yeah. Warehouse. W-A-R-E Yeah Warehouse W-A-R-E Okay you can't spell Yeah I can't spell Fuck

Tool chest for five Donation for cruel angels Thesis tape measure I do want that Verico for $13.99 Vito looks like a combination Of Jon Snow And Samuel Tarly right now

Bunny bunny I'll take that Dominic for two Ripa in chat Hi gold Oh Ripa gold post okay sometimes he likes somebody posted like a billion bunny like the ai of like bunny soldiers yeah and it was liked by rippa gold post so i don't know what side the screenshots of me

that look funny and then he made a video that was like that's my face it's not great i know what i look like it's funny he made the video that was like That's my face, it's not great I know what I look like, it's funny He made the video that was like Vito's having a midlife crisis And everyone's like, well this is just like all of Vito's best bits He is He just talked about it Rip a gold post It's like if like Rodney Dangerfield

Somebody poses a face of him going And he's like, that's fucking very offensive to me Rip a gold post When my comic is ready, send me a message. I'll send you a free copy. Dominic for two. I already said that. World round.

Geohound is here for five. You two made my Friday at my hammer on YouTube for Warhammer content. You guys are the Larry David of. Yeah, we're the Larry David. I'll take that. That is better. As he presents for five today, Alex had his second wedding in two years with the woman he married two years ago because he promised her one in the Balkans with that rip of money.

Lol. Wait, what? His CFO? Alex from the Rip-A-Verse had a second wedding and he's using all the money he's making from Eric's comic book for destination weddings for himself. Is that his bass player? The CFO? I think that's the guy who's running the money.

Right? I really don't like that guy. Why? Does he say anything? I don't see what he Why? Does he say anything? I don't see what he's saying I mean it's weird when your bass player goes Let me manage all your money Something weird there

God of Sleep for two No I'm the other god, take a nap White Panda for two The Enigma owns the niggler Berserker for two Richard make Vito do his comic in color We're trying to figure out Is it not?

I'm trying to figure that out I don't really I don't care Like some Comics that are in black and white Are the same to me I guess It's like I'm leaning towards color right now

I'm on the edge Eric July Arm here for five Rip a goal post Is a loser Oh my god Oklovich for five But then your colorist Has to be like incredible

See that's You can't do it as an afterthought The colorist gotta be the best part That's the problem Is most There's a lot of battle chasers that coloring in that is was fucking dope yeah it's it's hard to find good and judge dread has like a ton of colors yeah does yours i guess yours would have a shitload of colors well it has to have a color style that fit like a lot of colorists in america do this like standard american color style that i just think looks like dog shit so finding a good and there's guys who i like if i could get them

i would get them but they're like you know pros and they're busy doing other shit so goblin slayer is black and white isn't it yeah looks great it does look great it's it's We're figuring I We're gonna figure it out I like no colors No drawings Just words Yeah just words That's my favorite kind of comic Why don't I just do that?

Some people want me to color it But it would take too long Oklovich for five Vito write a cruel angels thesis stinger for the show I'll write a Com Seuss or Todd Stinger How's that? Isaac Solomon for two Plus two dollars for the call to prayer Josh write a calm sooster Todd. Stinger. How's that?

Isaac Solomon for two. Plus two dollars for the call to prayer. Josh Denny's car. R.I.P. car. David Gomez for two. Rip a goal post as a child bride dealer.

Trunk and Atheist Studio for two. Bunny Tortoise. Bunny Tortoise. Oh, much for the women. Coup for two. Gendo did touch Ray's breast

during third impact. He was merging with Lilith. That's different. Dumb username for two. Threesome. Masato also sent her photo of herself to merging with Lilith. That's different. Dumb username for two. Masato also sent her photo of herself to Shinji. That's true. She did have a photo. How old was he then?

He was a 13-year-old boy and she sent a photo of her bent over with an arrow pointing at her boobs saying, look at these. I'm trying to remember what kind of pornography was I looking at at 13. Probably Spice Channel. Trying to, you know, trying to get a clear boob. And I was looking at Evangelion pornography.

So it all comes full circle. I don't think we had the internet when I was 13. Oh, we did when I was in middle school because I was printing out hentai mangas during a, what do you call it? Free period? Free period. Yeah, free period. And then I would take construction paper and make, like, covers for them.

And I had, like... So I was, like, printing out Japanese doujin on the inkjet printers and making them into little, like, bound things I could take home and jerk off to. The first anime pornography I ever saw online was these little fairies. Yeah. That are, like, BDSM fairies. I remember that. I was the, uh, these little fairies. Yeah. That are like BDSM fairies. I remember that. I was like, huh. That's, uh, that's strange. Looks very Japanese-y. Was that actually Japanese?

I don't know. There was like some American- It was like Usenet. When you had to download 64 files and then run a decoder on them to link them into one picture. The first anime pornography I ever saw was a looping gif animation in the Flash game

Street Trash, which for the longest time, like back when Newgrounds was new, it was like the number one Newgrounds game. It was like a choose your own adventure where you walked around and clicked on guns to shoot guys or whatever. And you could take a hooker back to your room and after the hooker fell asleep,

you could choose to turn on the TV, and there was a looping GIF animation of a cat lady getting railed. Oh, that's where you got that Q-tip thing. Yeah, exactly. And then I finally found out what that's from, and it's from a Sega Saturn game that I now really want to buy.

Because I'm like, well, that was the first hentai I ever saw. You gotta buy that. It's like a $280 Sega Saturn game where half of it is a spaceship shooter and the other half is just fucking girls getting raped. Wow. That sounds like a good game. The Japanese really knew.

You got rape in my space game. You got space game in my rape. It's called Steam Hearts and it's really expensive. Michael winning for two. What's up with this weeb crap? We love weebs. I don't know. Helios for five. I beat up with this weeb crap? We love weebs. I don't know. Helios for five.

I beat off beforehand. You don't need to end the stream. Fancy Nacarazzi for five. Drugs don't kill people. Stupid mistakes kill people. No, drugs kill people. All right. Yeah, well.

Vito, don't worry. You're doing a better job reading Super Chats than that girl from the SOS podcast. I left a comment on that podcast. Guys, if you're going to take super chats on your podcast, hire a girl who knows how to read. They don't exist. What are ISOM's powers? Can he

fly? Let's talk about warehouses and warehouse related things. Thanks to Eric for ISOM, the International School of Ministry. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.

That's true. That's true. Say what? That's true. Carlisle P. Did you say that's true? No, that's true. No, that's true.

Are you saying that's true? That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. It's very true? What?

We're going to get canceled for this fucking episode. I'm dressed as a black man screaming Destro. You're dressed as a warehouse. Dressed as a warehouse werewolf. Is that a quick sell for two? Much love to all the Vito files in Vito. That's a comic I want to see, the warehouse werewolf. It's not a bad idea.

Jesus Christ for two. Vito, you're the first F2M that I've seen that's passing. Thank you. That's nice of Jesus Christ. Melanie Mack is borderline Westboro Baptist. That's what I'm saying. I don't get it. Why are all these internet people hanging out with her? She's just like a religious lunatic.

He says, I was raised Catholic and even they wouldn't celebrate a church burning. Dude, it's literally only because she's like an attractive female that they go, oh, it is cool to wish death on gay people. I'm like, Jesus Christ. She's not that attractive. Is that all it takes? No. uh yeah somebody said that she was joking but i'm like yeah i don't what's the joke it's literally their church burned down because they're gay and they deserve it i'm like where's the humor what's the premise all right you got the setup where's the punchline exactly i kind of get gay people deserve

i get okay it's a joke it is a very mean-spirited joke right and we make mean-spirited jokes but we don't make them at the expense of like i know i do yeah I'm a really bad person. Right, you're not preaching yourself as a child of God. Yeah, that's the problem. I'm like, oh, yeah, I think it's funny, too, but I'm a real bad guy. If it was Chrissy Marr, who's like a legit comedian, who's like, well, that's what you get when you fuck with God. I'd go, oh, okay, she's like a good comedian. Yeah, funny. But then, like, you know, Mellie Mack turns around, okay, and we're gonna have bible study this weekend this is why this is why gay people are burning

in hell like is that a part of joke yeah i'm like well hold on a second like if a gay orgy actually fell on melanie mack and killed her i would say ha ha that's what you get but that's because i'm a bad person and let's be real it wasn't a joke like it just wasn't yeah no it was it was like this these gay people's church burned down because they're gay and that's what they get yeah it's a joke if you don't really think that right how much do you really think that god did that to punish them she genuinely thinks that's what god is punishing gay people by burning that's interesting too yeah so you can't say it's a joke when you believe it. Yeah.

Agnostic Uzumaki for five says, Vito, you're not looking like a fat Inuit anymore. Keep it up, Arsler. Good job. God of Sleep for two says, TBF, I don't care. And the God of Sleep for 20 says, have more money because alcohol Boom. Abuse, I think

he meant to type, but he's so drunk that he couldn't handle it. Put a bunch of bunnies in what looks like a pair of pants. We got a couple more super chats here. Dumb Username 5, the type of color you choose is dependent on the type of paper you'll be printing it on. Ask Doug TenApple about it. Jesus Christ.

Doug, there's so much to consider. Dumb Username 2, G-Taste, Spunky Night, Bondage Fairies. Yes, that was it. The fairies. Bondage. Doug, there's so much to consider. Doug, what's your name for two? G-Taste, Spunky Night, Bondage Fairies. Yes, that was it! The fairies. Bondage Fairies, yeah. And I remember that Spunky Night one, too. Man, what a fucking trip down memory lane that is. G-Taste is some good shit. I don't know about that one. I definitely

remember the Spunky Night. I remember that title. So, when I was a kid, we went to New York City, and they have a Japanese bookstore. Yeah. And they had the G-Taste books, which are just a bunch of Japanese businesswomen being forced in uncompromising situations. And as a 14-year-old boy, I'm like... Having to be quiet during a meeting.

I purchased them and put them in my backpack, and my uncle was like, let me see what you just bought there. And I went, no. And it's still a very embarrassing memory of buying pornography. And my uncle definitely knew that I bought pornography. And I was like, I just don't want to make it damaged. I don't want to take them out of my backpack. Why is he being such a prick about it, though? Yeah, fuck you.

Fuck you. Let me buy fucking. That would quantum leap into little boys. Why don't you mind your own fucking business? I should have said that. Where's your fucking blue chew, bro? Joe, cool for five. Richard, what do you think about the very accurate Mexican representation on the Dodgers?

I am also a bean. I haven't seen those. I don't know what you mean. I'm not really a sports guy. I'll accidentally see Dodgers stuff, but I don't see Kedon. Kick him for two. We love you, Cara. Cara, moderator of the Stars.

Dumb username for five. The Newgrounds game you're talking about. Street Life by Will Stamper. Stamper TV on YouTube. Oh, I know that. He made Skeet Fighter 2. What a name. Yeah.

He was the king of Newgrounds back in the day. Dwab Winkle for 10. David Pacman went on that weird Will It Print channel. My life is in shambles. Oh, wow. Pacman. He only made like three fucking episodes of it. And JJ for two.

Lol, Vito asking someone where the joke is. Fuck you. Alright, these are the last ones, everybody. No, that's it. Alright, God of Sleep for two. Spelled also incorrectly. God of Sleep for two. No abuse. It's consensual. Guys, don't forget. Vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. Superkiller.org.

Get a copy of my comic book. Find me a hentai rap for Vito's car. I write for the car and jellies. Biggest problem. And I some to at patreon.com slash biggest problem and back that by slash biggest problem live show. End of the month. Tickets are sold out.

So fuck you. So fuck you though. We may go to the bar afterwards. So if you want to be in the area, I'm definitely going to the bar. Yeah. I was thinking about Friday, like doing like a meet up

Or something I don't know Oh maybe Yeah Maybe like an impromptu I don't want to be all shit faced The next day for the show I'm too old for that

We don't have to drink Like a fucking moron Why don't we go to like the I was going to go to like The arcade or something I mean I'm doing Not only drinking

I'm doing drugs I'm not Alright You know I'm not I'm not saving anything up here. I'm just saying maybe we'll have, I might try to figure out. I'm going to jail one of these days. Like a Friday thing or something.

I'm not taking the plea. I don't know if Dick's going to be there. Take the plea. This has been the biggest problem in the universe. And don't forget, respect is the most important thing in the world. Bye. And if you don't get it, howl at the moon. Howl, El Wolf. Howl. You have it like a shawl. important thing in the world. Bye. And if you don't get it, howl at the moon!

Howl! Werewolf! Howl! You have it like a shawl. I know. It's not working at all. That's great! Oh! Alright, bye. Careful, there's safety pins there. What, you safety pinned it on me? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, what, you think I just laid it there? I thought it was just laying there. What'd you think I was doing back there?

I have no fucking idea. Alright, bye. Bye.