The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 109

Episode Date: October 7, 2023

All the kids care about is Minecraft. Pizza bagels. Pizza bagels, stickers, trapper keeper notebooks, and Pac-Man video games. Trapper keepers, yeah. That's what the kids want. What's the name of that lady that makes those colorful, is it Anne Frank? No, she's the diary. It's Anne Frank.

The 80s, like the trapper keepers and folders and stuff. That's Anne Frank. Yeah, you're right. The worst part is that was the joke I was trying to make, but then I just said it wrong. You forgot who the actual Anne Frank was, you're saying. Yeah. Remember all those cool Anne Frank notebooks we used to have? I do remember that one really cool Anne Frank notebook.

Everyone was causing such a ruckus over it. Everybody wanted one. Everybody wanted one. Remember when all the kids wanted an Anne Frank notebook? No, I don't remember that at all. Can you do that in AI? Anne Frank crossed with Lisa Frank's notebook? Is that funny? Is that funny to do that Frank crossed with Lisa Frank's notebook? I want to see.

Is that funny? I think that is. Is that funny to do that? I think that is funny. No, that's not. That can't possibly be funny. I think the good bit is to go, well, you know, Lisa Frank was related to Anne Frank. That's why she was so invested in making notebooks. Notebooks!

She wanted every kid to have the experience. You got any more gems? I don't know. This is a podcast-only portion of the show. I know. Ten seconds to go. The pre-show. Now we're going, except I didn't line up the transition beforehand.

You nailed it. How you doing, everybody? Tell us if the audio is bad. I've been doing fiddling. I've been fiddling around. I think it should be good. There's a greenman hiding somewhere in this audio. I've been looking for it.

We're probably completely blown out. I feel good. Do you? No. No, you don't sound good. Oh, my God. You don't have to sleep at the bottom of the hill. You can come up.

What am I going to do? Sleep in your house? Well, I mean. I don't want to sleep in your bottom of the hill. You can come up. What am I going to do? Sleep in your house? Well, I mean... I don't want to sleep in your guest bedroom or something. I have a hammock out back. You can go lie on that. I had to take a nap before the show. Like a Disney bear.

The Song of the South. You can go lay back. I have a XXX jug I can give to you. I've been fucked up all this week because we did the live show and of course none of you people wash your hands. So I got horribly sick, and that threw off my sleep. You put your hands in your mouth a lot after you shake people's hands? I do.

I love to taste other people. Yeah. So then today I woke up with a splitting headache, no sleep, had to drive to CVS, get some ibuprofen. Then I showed up at Dick's house. Get yourself a couple Gatorades. Get a couple Gatorades and Mountain Dews. Yeah.

Treat yourself. Someone told me the zero sugar Gatorade is good. Then I should try it. Maybe I will. Well, what's your tolerance for good? Like low sugar people. Some of the zero sugar stuff I've been trying is okay. Okay.

I like that Prime Energy drink. I got to buy it in bulk. Yeah. I could replace the Mountain Dew with that, I think. By the time this weight loss contest is over, we're going to figure out what you can drink that's tolerable. I'm making changes. That's what's important.

It doesn't matter if they're good or bad as long as you're making changes. They're all good. Anyway, hold on. I got to say, so then I showed up an hour early. Yeah. And I slept at the bottom of the hill. I have a pillow in my car. Yeah.

Well, because a nap is like, I don't want the anxiety of someone knowing I'm napping, you know? You picked a bad place to sleep in your car. Why is that? Because there's a ton of Mexican criminals and cholos doing crimes down there Well what are they gonna do? Break in on the fat guy and poke him? Yeah, they're gonna beat you like a piñata and see if any coins come out of you or sandwiches or bolsas or something Things do fall out of my pockets often Fat people are walking piñatas and I accept that

Should I start the show or do you have another, did you have something to say? You slept an hour. Slept like, no, like half an hour. Half an hour. No, I got a nice coffee. Dick's got a great coffee machine, I'll tell you that. Yeah, that mug has a chip in it. Be careful.

Is that going to fuck up my teeth? Did you fuck up your teeth? Have I fucked up my teeth? Yeah, remember that was your problem, right? That's rough teeth. Rough teeth. It's back to being, it's almost smooth again. Did you buy some dentist tools, like I said?

No, I thought you were joking about that. No, man, you gotta be scraping your teeth. It's fun. Yeah, you can start the show. Yeah. It's gonna be a weird show. I put a little delay. Is it gonna be weird?

Somebody says I should drink water. What are you, retarded? Somebody says I should drink water. What are you, retarded? Biggest problem in the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From governments not shutting down to podcast merch that can't be found.

Your host, Dick Mash. Joining me as always is VW's vlog. Hi, Dick! What's up, buddy as always as VW Vlog. Hi, Dick. What's up, buddy? Gotta get all the energy up. Yeah. Gotta go hard in the paint. That's why you don't sleep like 30 minutes before the show starts.

No, because you wake up nuts. You start doing drugs, caffeine or otherwise in that period. You don't take a nap. No, I feel refreshed. You start jazzing up when the show starts so that by the time it ends, you're all amped up to party. Consummate showman. The show is a slow burn of nothing. And then once it ends, I go crazy.

Speaking of crazy, should we start with this? The quartering? What is this, though? The quartering going after Andy Signore for some reason? What is that? I don't know what's up with that. Why is the quartering?

Andy Signore released a video saying that he was in the hospital and that it's very serious. Yeah. Andy Signore, something's wrong with his eyes? His retina's detaching or something? Yeah. The doctors. He described what he described as retinal detachment. It happened to my dad three times.

One in each eye and then one again. That's the scariest thing I can think of is your eyes going when you're a healthy I was going to say young guy. Well, healthy. I don't know about that one either. Maybe compared to you. Regardless, it's like, you know, you're going along and everything's fine. He's a healthy young man.

He's a healthy young man. Rock a healthy young rock in the scales it looks all right 250 262 andy uh andy does better than me with the diet or whatever he doesn't eat red meat yeah i almost spit all over my microphone that's what you think the issue is eating red meat no but i'm saying it's good it's it's healthy to do that you I guess. Lean chicken and fish and whatever else. Yeah. So there were people polishing the deck, rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Hmm.

You were there. You know what? I really think this deck chair should be over there. I understand. It's on the way down and there's no point. Anyway, Andy's eyes are failing. You had to go to the hospital. And for some reason, all these guys Including the quartering Are like dunking on him for it

Like, why'd you post a video about this to your subscribers? This is clickbait This is what the quartering says I'm all for clickbait, but dude's at an optometrist Because of an eye issue He's not an optometrist, he's at a hospital In the video, he describes the terrifying reality Of retinal detachment Where it feels like a curtain is drawn over your did he wake up?

And he just couldn't see out of one eye. It just happens popped happen. That's fucking horrifying bro I may have been watching less etc, but I had genuine concern It's really bad in all caps cuz Andy said it's really bad in all caps cuz it is Unless it's fear and panic for your many subscribers. Maybe a maybe a bit much over an eye issue. Hope you get better I mean, it's not SJW's ruining Star Wars cartoons Yeah, he has the most clickbaity fucking thumbnails ever All of Kordak's thumbnails are like Star Wars is destroyed forever

I know it's not no one using the piece of shit Rumble platform that he's always shilling, but it's just a guy who makes his living. He must have a shit ton of Rumble stock for some reason. They must have just backed up the truck and dumped toilet paper in his front yard because he gets angry and angry that no one is using the dog shit platform of Rumble. It's not a good platform. The Quartering is like a guy who... I just keep watching...

This is incredible. He's a man responsible for his whole family And maybe he can't see He probably can't stream for a month Because he's got to lay face down Letting his retina reattach After they deflate his eyeball And sew it back onto the back

And then reinflate the eyeball You have to lay face down And you will always not be able to see Because they're reattaching your retina Which is entirely a nerve And then reinflate the eyeball. You have to lay face down, and you will always not be able to see. Because they're reattaching your retina, which is entirely a nerve. And there is a 5% chance that you will go blind in that eye. That's fucking disgusting. I mean, I know it's not like coffee or shilling a Nazi book publisher,

but it's kind of a big deal. Maybe if the SJWs were detaching his retina, maybe then it would be a big deal. See, that's the crazy thing is like... God! This guy can't report on the fact that he's in the hospital and consider it serious. Like, that's clickbait. He's gonna go fucking blind, bro! Yeah. Wait, maybe if Brie Larson...

Maybe, yeah. Big news! Brie Larson doesn news, Brie Larson doesn't punch the guy in his eyeballs detached from his retina. What the fuck is this? And then I saw And then by the way, this is the quartering when

me and you were making fun of Eric July Yeah, he said he would give him whatever he needs Eric July said that he's gonna sue us and the quartering said whatever you need, Eric Like a sensual lover Whatever you need, Eric. Like a sensual lover. Whatever you need, Eric. If you need me to lick your balls all night, I'll do it.

My relationship with the quartering has been a complicated thing where, like, we kind of used to be bros. And then he's kind of just gone down this. I always went, like, oh, the quartering is, like, kind of more rational than these other guys. He kind of stays out of, like, this stupid drama. Yeah, but then he did this. What the fuck is this? Yeah, and then he's, like, mad at Andy Signore for his eyes dying. This is oh you're gonna be blind What are you clickbait bro? Andy Signore didn't make that title his fucking producer did while he was in the hospital

Getting his eyeballs put back together I Think you're allowed to do a little bit of clickbait as a youtuber if you're literally in the house. Like, that's, people want to know when they're a YouTuber. I want to make the quartering lick white dog shit. That's the only way for him to atone for this. Lick white dog, the quarter, lick white dog shit. I just think it could have went, look, even if you. If you blow me off like this, if I, if I, my eyeballs come off because I outrage myself.

Yeah. If I'm in the hospital, you're doing this to me. I'm coming out of the hospital. I'm putting an eye patch on. I'm coming to your house and I'm going to make you lick white dog shit. If you're the quartering, you're not ever allowed to complain about clickbait.

You're the last person who should be doing that. They made Darth Maul's lightsaber gay in the... I mean, if I just go to his channel in the Lego special edition, only sold at the Pride event, Brie Larson Invitational Lego tournament. I don't want to see.

Is Twitter collapsing? Elon Musk has lost $36 billion of his Twitter investments. That's a big deal. Oh, my God. Pumpkin spice lattes are deemed racist by scholars. We have to put a stop to that. Woke Walmart freak out!

Woke Walmart freak out! Meanwhile... Hey, I might be going blind. Bro, don't with the clickbait. I mean, you just... Come on. I was worried, and now I'm like... I mean, you got me worried for no reason. He said he unsubscribed because of it. He should unsubscribe from life. He should click the button on a 9mm and unsubscribe from life.

Are you fucking serious? Oh, this is all because of Eric July. It's all because of Eric July. Yeah, honestly, people are mad that Andy kind of had our back on that, and now they're drawing these weird fucking battle lines. I'm going to put a poll in the chat. Is it because of Eric July or is it because Andy Signore does

the quartering's job better than him? There's been a lot of weird how would I refer to them? Gay ops I guess. Yeah. Of people demanding in secret channels. Listen, you're not allowed to guest on a biggest problem. You're not allowed to guest on a biggest problem you're not allowed to be friends with those guys because they are bad guys dick said he wants the ripaverse

to fail can you believe it uh he doesn't want shitty comic books to get free money for for doing the bare minimum hey guess what i want everyone to fail. How about that? Wow. I want everyone to have a heart attack right now. You're torturously infearing with my life. God is gonna sue me. Yeah, pretty much. Do we get the glitter cleaned up at the theater? I don't know. I didn't get a message about that. You didn't get a message from Death Noodles? He's great.

Oh, yeah. That whole place is great. Wish they had a little more room for a merch table, but other than that, could have put one against the wall. You see how much stuff there was to do when we got there, by the way? You were going to be slinging merch out while I was setting up all this shit? Well, we got there late because the fucking

traffic was weird. Yeah, there's always something. There is something. Okay, let's see. And yeah, I would have been slinging merch. Reverend Meat said the crowd chanting the niggler, LMFAO. We shut that down pretty fast. Not quick enough. Not quick enough.

I thought it was funny that I heard one person doing it wrong. That's it. Nope, cut it. You ruined it. You ruined it. Danny C's says, ocean spray pure cranberry juice is nine grams of sugar. Ocean spray cranberry cocktail, which Vito drinks, is 25 grams of sugar.

I don't think that's correct. Straight. If you just watered down the pure juice, it would be even less sugar preserving, and it would be less bitter. I can't believe you guys fell for Vito's food math. All right. Well, next time. Look, again, I was sick.

I wanted to flush out my system. Cranberry juice. Whatever. Cranberry juice helps, and yeah, sure. Next time I'll get the straight cranberry juice and I'll water it down. Really? God forbid it. No, okay? God forbid it have a tiny bit of sugar to make it tolerable. Have you had straight cranberry juice? It's terrible.

Yeah. It's the most bitter fucking shit in the world. It's just juice. It doesn't taste like sugar. It's fine. It tastes kind of sugary. Mystic Marbles says, Riley, I used to hate you, but you are all right. Aaron Harvard says, Although I wasn't there,

I for one appreciate that at least one of y'all went out of your way to have some merch. Vito once again carrying the group project. Who would have guessed? Thank you. I like merch. Okay, here's the thing. I like merch. I know.'s the thing. I like merch. I know.

I love tchotchkes. Whenever I go to a concert or whatever else, I run to that merch table and I buy whatever I can get. It's like a little souvenir. Yeah. We still have some of the flags Riley made. We've got to put those on the website. Yes, they're 18 inches long, so I don't know how to ship them. Just wrap it up and put it in a bag.

A bag that's 18 inches long. The plastic part is the long part. I was gonna bring one down here. Well, we can rip off the plastic part and just send the flag. Then you can't stick it in the car window! Nobody's gonna ride around with that on their car. Oh, Vito! Uh, I forgot to do the winner.

I usually do that first, right? Oh, okay. I don't know. The restaurant's skimping on the meat. I usually do that first. Okay, I don't know. The restaurant skimping on the meat. Oh, hey, look, I won. Even though everyone in the audience was negging me and calling me a piece of shit, at the end of the day, they're like, well, he is right about that. Yeah. I've had a lot of people, man,

why is it that I report the accurate calorie counts from the website and everyone's got to tell me, well, the website's lying? I said, well, what am I supposed to do? Okay, I'm using the nutrition facts that the USDA or whatever the FDA provided me. Which one do you want to be? USDA or FDA? I think you're looking more like USDA.

Regardless. Okay, if I go to the website and it says 150 calories, what multiplier do I have to use to assume that they're lying to me? Just look at yourself. No. Just look at yourself. It's fast food.

It's bad. You got to grill chicken at home or something. Steam some hams. You can't be getting, if you put goo on, anything that tastes good is bad, especially if it's from fast food. I understand. I don't think you do. I think beef and broccoli is a completely reasonable.

Right. It's beef and broccoli with a little bit of some sauce. I already said I know the rice is the problem. That's why I eat half the rice. Okay. So it's even less than 150 calories then. No, because they don't include the rice in the calculation. So it's 150 plus whatever.

I don't know, whatever rice is. Why do you know the 150 and you didn't look up the rice? Because I know rice is bad, so it's like. You didn't look it up. Yeah, I'll look it up. Okay, I'll look up what a cup of rice is. That's how people get into debt. They're like, I know I'm in debt, so I'm not going to look at my bank statement.

I do little things. I throw out, you know, like the top bun of the burger. I throw out half the rice. You know? You get like a half diet, half coke? No, I get all diet. Put a little bit more coke in there, though. Take two of the nuggets and throw them away. Take two nuggets,

throw them out. I want a junior bacon sheet. A junior. I get the lettuce wrap at the... Wrapped in what? The In-N-Out burger. Oh, okay. Wrapped in lettuce. How many fries do you get?

Yeah, I gotta stop getting the fries. I get one thing of fries. One thing of fries. Okay, okay. Retail employees who want to be your friend. Yeah. The government shut down cocktease. They kept that one going.

We got 24 hours of living in bliss. I wish they would give us just another hour. How'd you spend that 24 hours? Having total, being totally at peace. Totally at peace. Like a Zen, like a Buddhist monk. We need the government. And not any Biggest Problem merch.

Yeah, you spelled that one wrong. I did? Oh, it says not Biggest Problem merch. Oh, yeah. No Biggest Problem merch Yeah, you spelled that one wrong I did? Oh, it says not Biggest Problem merch Oh, yeah No Biggest Problem merch Well, I got it up there at least That's true Air Joe said Eric July would never have gone on Rikita's show if he wasn't delusional

Vote up the Dunning-Kruger effect Yeah, did you see that? Yeah Wait, well, Eric going on Rikita? And then I went on and he did We did a whole show about that. Oh, yeah. Nick deleted that.

Well, Nick deleted the one you went on because he went, like, he was drunk and went crazy, I guess. Once again, I suffer. Yeah, I don't know. Rikada shouldn't have walked it back. Because everything he was saying was true. He's like, Eric,pie's a liar and an idiot and he's fucking up and he should stop making everybody else the problem.

He puts people on a friend list. But then he got contacted by people on the friend list and they're like, you're not invited to the birthday party. I don't know about that. My assumption is he got uninvited to the birthday party and he said, but I like the birthday party. At least it's more fun. It's more fun over there.

Let's see here. Either way, Nick Riquetti does not need to be involved. Nobody needs to be involved in our beef. They just see a crazy man being insane and they go, I don't understand why everybody's on. Let me on. Just let me explain myself. No, no, no. Don't do that. Well, you see. We gotta get a lot more people.

Let's put it this way. I'm happy other people are finally taking the ball and going, huh, some of what he's doing is shady. Why don't I look into some of this? How about the puppets? Do you see that? The ripoff verse? The puppets are great.

They're amazing. What's the deal with Ripoverse Gold Post isn't allowed to comment on us anymore or something? I have a sound effect for that. Hold on. Yeah, I put new sound effects on. Ooh. What the fuck? Oh, there it is. Yeah, how about that?

Aww. I love when Riververse Goldposts would make little videos about how great we are and all the funny jokes we make. Yeah. It's too loud. Let me turn it down. He's gonna be addicted to He's too addicted to us to quit the Riververse Goldposts Twitter account.

He's gonna be boring without us. Yeah, come vs. Gold Post Twitter account. He's just boring without us. Yeah, come on. We're the fun. Come on, honey. See, that's the worst part. That's the worst part. There we go. There we go.

Is everybody can't admit we're having fun. Like, you know you're having fun. The whole reason you're on the internet is you're like, all I want is a constant stream of stupid drama. Yeah, people shouting at each other like wrestling. Yeah. That's the best. It's fun.

Just trying to replicate that without... See, wrestling limits people because you have to be in shape to do it. Right. What if we took wrestling, but anybody, even people who were not in shape could do it? It would be better. And those people would rise to the top, right? Sounds more epic when you yell about this over taps. All right. We had a great life. people would rise to the top, right? Sounds more epic when you yell about this over tabs. Alright.

We had a great life. Nola's getting pretty silly. I'm not talking about Nola anymore. Why? Because he's fucking nuts. You destroyed him. Did I? I don't even... He made a thread thinking he would bury you because of the power of his celebrity gossip forum.

And it did fuck all. Yeah, it was actually almost helpful. The way that people were like, oh, Vito tried to call a cop? That's kind of cool. That's awesome. Yeah. I just, I don't know. You don't want to talk about him? I have a bunch of clips from him, too.

Yeah, go now. No, no, we can do it later at the end, I guess. And then last one I have, Mr. Burns Revenge is the right-wing drama crew or the biggest low-T neck-bearded fucks out there. Thank God for this show.

Dick proving everything he said about Eric months ago to be true. God bless. Yes, I did. Well, you're the big winner. I am the big winner. Do you want to go first?

Yeah, sure. Dick, it's October. We all know what that means. I got to do my taxes. Halloween? I just finished my taxes. Yeah. I'm doing them this week.

I got to get my old tax return. Anyway, that's not interesting. But what is interesting is everyone's favorite holiday, Halloween. Okay. When everybody dresses up as fun. Yeah. Or like a spooky demon. Okay. When everybody dresses up as fun. Like a whore. Yeah. Like a whore or like a spooky demon. Okay. Or perhaps like the devil himself. Like a pumpkin.

And that's what horrifies a group of people I am calling the Halloweenies. I saw this tweet come. Shut up. Let me have fun names for my problems. I saw this tweet from Dr. Mockleth. This is one of these big time

Christian Twitter guys telling you how to live your life. Telling you how to live a good Christian lifestyle. He says, no to Halloween. Since it is October, let me say this again with love

and grace. I used to think it was okay for Christians to take part in Halloween I no longer believe that to be true Christians need to realize the innocence of the fun it offers is only a backdoor to normalize the demonic yeah kids who participate innocently in Halloween will often start watching kid-friendly scary movies. Yeah. And eventually, horror movies. Oh, that's bad. Actually, I agree with that.

I 100% agree with this guy. Yeah. Horror movies are satanic. I gotta stop. And then they might eventually become a big, dumpy loser and start a YouTube channel devoted to hacking movies or whatever. These movies are full of evil, porn, and more.

You're going to come at Tony. You better be more high energy than this, Vito. I'm not going to come at Tony. I got to warn you. Me and Tony have a good back and forth. Because you're Italians? Yeah, because we're Italians.

And you just let, Italians let each other do whatever they want. You made the pizza wrong. He goes, I put in the moots dough. Demons come into their lives that way. That's how demons get into your life through the slow advent of kid-friendly spooky movies.

Yeah. Like what? What's that famous one with the witches? Hocus Pocus. Oh. So first your kid watches Hocus Pocus. Yeah. Then I guess they watch, what, Salem's Lot?

Yeah. The Exorcist. Uh-huh. guess they watch, what, Salem's Lot? Yeah. The Exorcist. Uh-huh. The Exorcist is an anti-demon movie. It's just kind of boring, though. Like, horror movies are so, like, just stupid. I've never felt demons enter into me. He says, here's what you should do on Halloween.

Pray and fast. Hmm. At minimum, do not let little Johnny or Susie, he spelled both of those wrong, dress like a witch, a devil, or a murderer. What should you dress like? Jesus? Well, I saw some suggestions for ways

you can safely celebrate Halloween. We'll get to that. The point is... You really hate Christians, don't you? You're just seething at them around the clock. Well, I'm obviously mad because I've rejected the Lord Jesus Christ, and that fills me with hatred, doesn't it? Yeah, it will do that. It's not just Christians.

I mean, but some Christians celebrate Halloween, you know? It's not Christians. It's this specific group of hand-wringing, fun-hating morons that since the dawn of fucking puritanism have just been like are you guys having fun and you're like yeah and they're like god's not gonna like that didn't they invent like demons and shit though

wasn't it their whole thing man every day if you guys aren't afraid of demons and shit you better do this because of the demons then Halloween's like hey well let's not feel bad about demons for the day no everybody no You better do this because of the demons. And Halloween's like, hey, well, let's not feel bad about demons for the day. No.

No. You need to feel bad about them always. No. Well, all of it obviously comes back to the fact that when the Christians were, you know. Well, yeah. And the Catholics and whatever, when they were forcibly converting everyone. Yeah. Everyone's like, all right, look, I'll follow your faith. But, you know, I was a pagan.

We had some pretty cool, fun times. You know, we used to. The origin of the Halloween can be traced back to the Celtic festival of Samhain, a tradition held at the end of summer when sacrifices were made to the gods. Man, you're making me hate women so much. I fucking hate this part of Halloween. I'm like, dressed like a whore. We're partying, drinking and doing drugs.

And then shut the fuck up. I don't want to go to a hayride. I don't want to go to a haunted house. I don't want to go to Not Scary Farm. I don't want to hear about Samhain. I don't want to see any gothic shit. Any other front or back of it. You don't want to meet Samhain, the god of death,

who scatters evil spirits throughout the world to attack humans. But to escape the attack, humans would assume disguises to make themselves hand the god of death who scatters evil spirits throughout the world to attack humans but to escape the attack humans would assume disguises to make themselves appear as evil spirits true though no i mean why do you hate this like you're just reading a wikipedia what is your problem with this guy my problem is this guy and all these other guys is that again it seems like the purpose of the crazoid religious people is to take anything that's like the slightest amount of fun and try to make people feel bad about it. Like yoga?

Yeah, like anything. Anime? Yoga is satanic. Pokemon is satanic. Harry Potter is satanic. I know we're doing satanic panic again. Yeah, I know. But this is Halloween specifically.

Halloween specifically? Yes. Wouldn't it be fun though? Wouldn't it be fun if what? Satan was real? Yeah, get a new download of like why you can't go to any Halloween parties. Not because you're tired. You know, not because you're a loser.

It's because of Satan. Actually, you want to go out tonight? Fucking Satan is all over the place tonight. Well, we can only go out to dinner one night a week. Otherwise, Satan wins. I just don't know why Christians have to make everything. Not only that, but it would be one thing if you're like, listen, for my religious morals, I'm going to abstain.

But they can't do that because they still want to be the center of attention. So they have to come up with weird Christian twists. I'm like, well, maybe I can subvert the holiday. Like in the 70s, they had the hell houses, and they still do this now. It's like a haunted house But it's all about what's going to happen when you die Did you live a moral life Or did you do drugs and engage in homosexuality

And it's like why don't you just take the night off Why did you have to do all this You know I saw a suggestion from a question At my grandpa's funeral The priest started talking about hell And I was like What the fuck Specifically in relation to your grandfather

Just die and death in general He threw it in and he's like you know this is a good reason to think about If you're going to hell or not I was like you know I got that thing in my brain Wait what What the fuck Somebody should say something This is like a wedding right

At any time you can interrupt a funeral of your family and go like, Hey, what the fuck was that shit about? You just said about hell? We're all going to burn forever? And then afterwards, we're at the wake. Like, can you believe that motherfucker? And my grandma goes, oh, yeah, your grandpa fucking hated that priest. It's like, oh, that motherfucker.

Did I tell you the priest from my father's funeral? First of all, he showed up like 20 minutes late. Cool. And like, it would have been- Were you guys grieving on the clock? Well, it would have been fine, but like they started playing like the music, like the Here Comes the Priest music. You know, like the like fucking organ or whatever.

Like the Oscars, yeah. And then it went on for like 20 minutes and we're all just sitting there. Like before that, we were all like chatting or whatever. We're all just sitting there and we're like, well, I don't want to talk. Oh. So we're all just looking around like- I can't start a new conversation because the priest is were like, well, I don't want to talk. Oh. So we're all just looking around like. I can't start a new conversation because the priest is going to get here. I don't want to get interrupted in the middle of the story.

So I'm giving you my B game, right? Right. Exactly. Just getting chatter. Yeah. So then he came in and then he gave a speech. And I'm like, and I realized all these priests just phoned it in. First of all, he had the worst excuse ever.

He's like, oh, there was a war veteran died. So I got caught up doing that. I'm like, is that your was, you know, a war veteran died, you know, so I got caught up doing that. I'm like, is that your go-to excuse? That he was doing a prior funeral? A retarded kid's funeral. Yeah, exactly. Went a little long because he was so retarded.

So you can't like call shit? You're like, well, I guess if it was a war veteran or whatever. A trans woman was murdered. Oh, okay. He's got to mix up the excuse depending on the crowd. And for some reason, have you ever seen the movie Meet Joe Black? Yeah. Well, I haven't. What's it about Brad Pitt's

the devil? Oh, I was thinking of Meet Joe Dirt. No, it wasn't that. I haven't seen Meet Joe Black. I haven't either, but the priest gave us the entire plot summary of the movie for like 30 minutes. What? That's the homily he's reusing?

I'm like That's a great fucking homily It's a bunch of old idiots in the thing right? I think a lot of the movie meet Joe Black and I'm like I've never seen this movie Imagine the speeches they're going to give when we're like

70 and the priests are like 40 I think about the first time I completed the Halo 3 video game and, you know, stormed the spire. Yeah, exactly. And it really makes me think. He was straight up capping. For real, for real. No cap.

I feel like I need to see this movie that the priest used to summarize my dead dad's life. So if you're a priest, you can get one speech for a funeral and just use it forever. Yeah, but what if you get somebody who's been to multiple funerals and they've seen you at all? And he's like, oh, I know he's reusing that. Oof. I didn't think about that. You got to get a guest list.

Why I'm not a priest. You got to get a guest list so you can be like, oh, I can reuse this one. Child molesting. That's why also. I did do a Bible reading at the funeral. Why? I don't know. Because my uncle didn't want to do it.

Because my uncle's like super like, oh, fuck God or whatever else. And you're more like, you know. I'm like, yeah, fuck God. But like, I'll read the Bible. So I went up there and I was like, and with his sword of fury, the archangel Michael delivered upon them. Yeah. I really oversold it. Funerals, huh?

There we go. I should be back! Yeah. I really oversold it. Funerals, huh? Okay. There we go. I should be back. Yeah. I saw one suggestion. If you're worried about, you know, demons, why not give out glow sticks with your favorite Bible verse about God's love attached to them? You can sit in your driveway and hand out these glow sticks

and meet more people. Why not fist fight everybody? Christians should do that. Just sit in the driveway and like a wife beater in suspenders with a waxed mustache going, I'm going to fight any atheist. Step right up. I'll fucking fight you right here. I'm not giving you.

You think you want some candy, fat boy? Get over here, you little fucker. Be gone, demon. Why not just spray people with the hose If they get too close to you And then the kid that hit The kid that finally knocked KOs him Yeah

You could go through like probably An adult man could probably fight In a row Probably 70 kids Yeah But one But you know Over time

Wearing away at him One kid's just gonna Right And then a Like an 11 year old That should be all Halloween houses Is that you know You fight off the kids Until you eventually have no stamina left then you go all right my

candy is yours i've been vanquished i've finally been vanquished here's the one thing i'll say christians did nail for a halloween in general is the chick tracks i'm okay with those if you want to give kids cool little comics about people burning forever oh yeah yeah even though that. Even though that's pretty fucked up and you're probably going to piss off some parents, those comics are awesome. Yeah, but the one comics were like, he hated them because he spoke the truth. He spoke the truth. Yeah, exactly. There's great memes in those fucking comics. It's great.

Point is, Christians, why not just enjoy a holiday instead of constantly feeling like if you're not surrounded in some sort of weird guilt Yeah, I mean, but this is a pretty small amount of Christians, right? Like, you're just finding a couple Christians who are whack jobs and picking on them. No, Dick, this is the biggest problem in the universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so many of them and they're destroying our way of life.

Okay, fucking Halloweenies. Mr. Methadone over there. Which was also a great episode of The Adventures of life. Okay. Fucking. Halloweenies. Mr. Methadone over there. Which was also a great episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Were you a fan of that show? Loved it. I love that show. I think one of the Petes blocked me on Twitter.

Yeah, I remember you posted that. Because I said, one of my greatest hopes is that someday I can meet Michael Morona or Danny Tamburelli and tell them how much I loved that show. And then you said, that motherfucker blocked me. And I'm like, yeah, well, you're an asshole. You didn't understand the glory of the show the way I did. Pete and Pete. What would you say if you met, like, why do you want to meet him? I don't know.

I haven't signed something. Yeah, I liked your show. Okay. It would just feel like the culminate, like, that show had a deep impact on me in my childhood. It would feel like. Why? Because it's a funny show No it's like more than a funny show It's like a deep sentimental show

It's just two brothers Guy's got a fucking tattoo on his arm It is the perfect It is the perfect Adolescent show To which none have matched I've been meaning to make a video for the longest time about how Harry Potter destroyed a generation and why Pete and Pete is the perfect counterpoint to Harry Potter.

Because Harry Potter is all about abandoning humanity. It's about discovering that you're not... First of all, he's not human, Harry Potter. He's a wizard. They're specifically a different race. So it's not like...ry potter he's a wizard they're specifically a different race yeah so it's not like okay well they're considered they're like basically like no you're a wizard guys consider them a different race the bad guys consider humans a different race yeah harry potter at no point establishes like i love humanity he goes i'm a wizard they're bad. I mean, they're just like. That's a bad moral. Humans are bad. No, that's not a good moral for children.

What do you mean? The Harry Potter fantasy is that you will one day receive a letter that informs you that you are a member of a. You don't have to do any of this shit anymore. You're a member of a higher caste. Yeah. That everyone around you is lesser than you. Yeah. And you have contained some secret magic.

Juice. Juice. Yeah. And you have contained some secret magic juice. Juice. Yeah. That allows you to be whisked away and abandoned humanity and to work for the betterment only of your own caste. Right.

You are not existing to save humanity. No, it's not. It's about liberals. If you let them, they'll destroy you and eviscerate you in front of your family.

And your family might actually be them. Harry Potter. Turn on them. It is the fantasy of learning that you're an alien, that you do not belong to humanity, you in front of your family. And your family might actually be them. Turn on them. It is the fantasy of learning that you're an alien, that you do not belong to humanity, and that you can just abandon it and go on adventures. What's Star Wars?

Star Wars is about a human. Oh, really? He helps other humans. Jedi are not considered, you know, Jedi are still- I'm just wondering what the difference is. The difference is that he works for the betterment of the entire galaxy, not just the Jedi. So everybody's going off to fight, he goes to Yoda, for what reason? Just like, hang out. To save the galaxy

from a giant fucking empire, he's helping... Everybody lost while he was away helping Yoda. It's not about... Guy gets frozen and fucking carbonized. If Luke Scott, if Star Wars was like Harry Potter, he would have gone to a separate Jedi world and only worked to help other Jedi, right?

That would be the comparison. Well, what did he do in the end? He helped everybody. He just helped his dad. Okay, but he also wanted to destroy the Empire. He wanted to, you know, fight for the rebellion. Yes, he might have had his own personal vendettas,

but it was for the greater good. It seemed like it. Okay, let's get from it. Okay, let's skip from it. Okay, here's my problem. Mosquitoes. I'm about two bites away. Two mosquito bites away. Yeah.

From losing it. Why do you got so many mosquitoes? All of LA does. Don't say it's about me. All of LA. I haven't been getting any mosquitoes. When do you go outside? Oh, that's a good point.

Name two outsides that you've ever been to. You walk the dog? Name two outsides. Two, I looked today, I Googled mosquito netting by the foot. Because I wanted to. You're going to put it around the whole house? I was going to put it around the entire balcony. Yeah. I mean, I don it around the entire balcony. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know. What is that? 20 feet by 20 feet by 40 feet, 20 feet. Like, is this, I said, is this reasonable? Is this, is this the best, the only thing I can do? It's not a bad idea. Don't they have those little, uh, what do you call it? Don't they have like the lanterns or something that they go to?

That shit doesn't, none of that shit works. That's number two, the worst thing about mosquitoes. You say you have mosquitoes, it's dumb fucks responding, hey, what about this mosquito spray? What about this cup of liquid? It's not, if cups of liquid could solve this, there would be no more mosquitoes. Don't fuck with me.

Don't fuck with me on- Hey, Dick, just grab one of these CO2 traps. It's $400. No big deal. I put every liquid I have outside. Every single liquid. Have you tried cranberry cocktail? No, I haven't tried cranberry cocktail.

If I get two fucking- Number three problem with mosquitoes. Why phone shut the fuck up about them? Like, I know. I'm out here getting bit too I don't need a play by play of you getting bit Because it feels like I'm failing to protect you From mosquitoes Even though no one on earth has figured out this fucking problem

Specifically The smartest and richest person on earth Bill Gates Who promised us in 2016 That he had cracked the mosquito problem. Well, he did a pretty good job. He did a not-a-fuck-all-of-a-job. He did nothing. He made them less,

like, didn't he make it so they transmit less diseases now? He didn't do shit. He released a bunch of genetically engineered sterile mosquitoes. Didn't do a goddamn thing. He got all this attention. 2016, Bill Gates has fucking stopped malaria. He's got a bunch of sterilized mosquitoes that he's releasing into Africa. He got all this attention. 2016, Bill Gates has fucking stopped malaria. He's got a bunch of sterilized mosquitoes that he's

releasing into Africa. You don't have malaria. Not a fucking thing. You don't have malaria. We will be getting it soon. These fucking mosquitoes. He's literally itching right now. They're in every crevice. I'll put a pillow down and they go and then they're gone. I'm like Where'd they go?

I think you gotta get the little lanterns'd they go? Where'd they go? I think you got to get the little lanterns that they go to. You have no fucking idea what you're talking about. How high do your socks go up? Other countries. I don't wear socks too often. I don't have socks on. Okay.

What do you call it? I mean, other nations have had mosquitoes. Yeah, they just get the nets. What? Africa does not go get the nets. I've seen it. They have AIDS. They have bigger problems to worry about.

They're not down to mosquitoes yet. Yeah, but I see those kids in Ghana. They don't look like they're bit up. We have whole mosquito suits. Full-on net suits. Those motherfuckers will still find a way to stick their wiggly penises through the nets. Skunk you. You gotta get the good bug spray.

Yeah, yeah. I want to go around coating myself in bug spray to go outside. We've lost dominion of nature. People don't understand that because China... We had dominion of nature until China shipped us a bunch of goofy, tiny, ankle-biting mosquitoes that are now all over the place. And they're worse than the mosquitoes in the South, so if you're from the South, go fuck yourself. Our mosquitoes are worse because they're from China and they're tiny. You can't see them.

I know what big mosquitoes are. Those you can deal with easier. Yeah. Did they come from China? Yes, they came on a shipping container. I've been tracking these fuckers for years. Okay. Thinking that someone would stop it, and now I'm realizing that no one's going to fucking stop it.

No one cares. Well, invasive species are, you know, they're a problem to deal with. 2.7 million deaths every year. What country is that in? That's not in America. Could be. Again, Bill Gates. I didn't every year. Oh. What country is that in? That's not in America. Could be. Again, Bill Gates is saving us. 500 million cases of diseases.

How are you mad at Bill Gates if he tried? At least he tried. Because he fucked up. No, if you try and you fuck up. Maybe he probably did. You don't know that. Yes, because he stopped other people from working on it. Because they're like, oh, Bill Gates has it.

Everybody always uses Bill Gates as like this easy scapegoat. Oh, Bill Gates. Yeah, Bill Gates. Yes, Bill Gates. Yeah. You got a problem with that? He stopped malaria. No, he didn't.

He didn't do shit. Pretty sure he did. No. He tried a bunch of goofy horse shit and caused a bunch of malaria. And then everybody gets mad because he made that water purification device that can get water out of shit. And everybody's all mad and they're like, I don't want to drink shit water. And it's like, well, it's not for you, idiot. It's for fucking like...

Does it work? Yeah. Well, would you drink some of Bill Gates' shit water? I would drink some of Bill Gates'. If I was in the middle of the fucking jungle and there was nowhere else to get water... It doesn't have any sugar on it. Are you sure? Well, I'd have to mix it with, you know, some tasty tasties.

Bill Gates is a great guy. I'd take his microchip anytime. He sent out that 5G alert and I felt refreshed. Oh, you liked that? Yeah. The 5G thing? The thing that bathed my body in soothing 5G rays. Did it make you annoyed that the government is making your stuff

do stuff? No. I felt safe and protected. If you work at night and you come home from a long day and go to sleep and then your phone starts screaming like there's a fucking nuclear bomb going off. Did you hear a bunch of Amish got in trouble because they all have like secret

cell phones because they're not supposed to have technology. Yeah. So they're all hanging out in Amish town and all of a sudden their pockets go. And they're like, uh. That was God doing that. That's pretty good. That's pretty funny. You enjoy that? Yeah.

The government having that thing? Hey man. What do you think about Biden putting the wall back up? You think that's funny? I mean, I always felt like the Democrats are taking the hugest L on all this fucking immigration shit. As I always said they would. You see the video? You think the Democrats are the ones taking the L?

Not normal people who don't want you to vote ever? Did you see the video of the New York, what's her name, lady? She's not mayor but what's her She's something But she was like three years ago She's like you know the thing about the Statue of Liberty Is it says send us your teeming masses And we want immigrants to know

You're welcome New York And then it's like cut to three years later And she's like we got no room for these fuckers Send them back We've made a horrible mistake And I'm like yeah well what the fuck did you think was gonna happen There's a lot of those motherfuckers At least they got that fun tunnel to crawl through

Yeah I was wrong on that You were dead wrong They had a big grin on their face Your people love challenge We do We love obstacle courses. Do a lot of, like, Mexicans, like, do they talk about, like, you know, the struggle of coming to America or whatever it is? Mine.

Their comp. Yeah. Do they talk about the struggle of coming to America? Yeah, they go, oh, you know, and when I came over, I had to jump over three tires in succession. Oh. And then I had to. No, what Mexicans talk about is seeing ghosts and aliens.

That's pretty good. Only. If you can ask, you find a Mexican who crossed the border illegally and say like, well, tell me what that was like. And they'll be like,

you know, remind me of this time that I was in Mexico and there was a ghost train. And it would go by my abuela's house. And we had exactly three and it would go, and we knew it was a ghost train, not a regular train because it would give us the chills.

Spookies. Yeah. You know you're not allowed to say spook anymore, they said. Who said that? Some lady on Twitter was like, listen, you can't, it's Halloween, but you can't say spooky. You can't say spooky? Because that's a racial slur. Which race? You don't know's Halloween But you can't say spooky You can't say spooky Because that's a Why It's a racial slur

Which race You don't know the term spook No It's an It's an antiquated Racist term You know it It's an antiquated

Racist term Spooky For black people So you can't say like Wow this neighborhood's a little spooky I think the worst part is She said that you can't say it I'm like well don't say that

Because now everyone's going to say that. They're going to be posting those videos of shoplifting. Wow, this is one spooky shoplifting video. I think there's targets on it. Yeah, don't even put the idea in people's minds because now I want to say it. You can say it. That was one spooky video that you guys posted. Wow.

That guy who got stabbed, he must have been really, he really got spooked. Put a happy Halloween fucking gif over that video. What do you think about that guy? I've seen your tweets. I mean, I don't know. He attacked him. That white guy, Carson. Shut up.

He attacked that black teenager. He did not attack him. Yes, he did. He followed him and put his hands on him. Probably, and we don't hear what he said. He's out of the camera

recording. I think, I think he called him the N-word and then tried to touch him. I'm going to dispute that series of events. And then he tripped over a bench

for some reason to be, like, to be, to be anti-Semitic. Was that the Dick Van Dyke show music or whatever? Okay, I did laugh at that. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- He deserved it though, right? You can say that. I don't think he deserved to be stabbed to death. I don't believe that. Calling guys the N-word? Fucking slapping their tits around? You have no evidence that he called anyone the N-word.

Why else would that guy freak out like that? Stop it. Have you ever seen? Stop it. You're saying he freaked out for no reason? That doesn't make any sense. Maybe he was having some sort of mental issue Health crisis

I think the moral of the story is If you see a young gentleman Uh oh Should I get Scott Adams out for this? No no If you see a young individual He's clearly Angry

God damn it Scott He's attacking things on the street maybe just cross maybe just stay on the bench huh yeah maybe just cross the street get away from that individual cross two streets Scott look I know you think what did I say Vito

I know what you said I know what you said Scott alright you shouldn't have said it it's still wrong that you said. What did I say? Oh, I know what you said, Scott. All right? You shouldn't have said it. It's still wrong that you said it. And then the girlfriend couldn't even identify him in a lineup. And people are acting like, people are acting like that's not impossible. I couldn't either. Oh my God.

Could you just make Dilbert? Do you really need to comment on these social situations? Anyway, I don't think that guy deserved to die. It's a tragic situation. Not deserved to die, but he deserved what happened to him. Which is death. Well, let's not... Okay, you're saying the finality of the act.

Why is it the funniest thing that happened that day? Do you think that? It's not funny. It's terrible. We got a big problem in this country. Did you see the guy? He was crying. Okay, what? We sure do.

We sure do. We sure do have a big problem. How would you define the problem? I don't know how to define the problem without getting canceled, but we got a problem. It's a culture problem, you know? The economically disadvantaged, you know, feel trapped. Would you have attacked that black teenager in the way that Ryan Carson did?

Or what was his name? Carson something? Carson Daly. He did not attack him, Carson Daly. He pursued him down the sidewalk. Guy was minding his own business. He pursued him down the sidewalk. Guy was minding his own business. He pursued him, whispered something, maybe propositioning him for a homosexual encounter or calling him the N-word. We don't know.

No, no. And then he tried to slap him in his face. I will say after that video and the Star Wars girl fight video, I think that people need to learn a lesson about going to an angry individual and going, Hey, man, just be cool. Hey, bro. Yeah, the white guy need to hit people with a, Hey, bro, it's cool. Don't do that.

What would you do? It's not necessary. In that situation. Run. You'd run? Or walk briskly? I would briskly walk. Okay, that's what I thought.

That's what I thought. Well, run and, you know, that means the predator gives chase. I would start screaming, I'm gay. So that he wouldn't follow, you know? I'd help him beat up the bikes or the scooters. I'd be like, yeah, I fucking hate these things too, man. I would knock my girlfriend out. I was like, you're right.

Wham! Knock her out and then run. Because if she's not running already, then she's worthless. I said just cross the street. Don't interact. There's a lot of schizophrenia. There's a lot of mental illness. Oh.

I assume that guy was mentally crazy. You don't just randomly start stabbing people. He's probably got... It was an accident. Okay. What? Oh, you think he just instantly killed a guy? He was swinging wildly because that jackass.

Why do you have a knife? Because white people are attacking him on the street. Okay. He was protecting himself. What are two white people getting up and chasing you at 4 a.m. doing? You should be this man's lawyer. I want to crowdfund a law defense for him because I think he's innocent. Okay.

He was harassed by Antifa. I was harassed by Antifa. You really spun this situation. Spun what? He's chased down. Call them the N-word or whatever he said to him. Hit him in his... Assaulted him in his chest. The N-word defense is very powerful. We know this. And then he runs

and sillily trips over a bench. You don't know what. And then he could be enraged bench You don't know what and then he could be Enraged you don't know what he's doing So you have to slice at him or something You have to just say stay down he forgot he had The knife in his hand he accidentally Sliced his jugular I have knives in my Hand all I look I have a what do I have in my hand right now

I don't even know oh it's air conditioning remote Control Chat is a Hashtag hashtag free Brian. Is Brian the name of the black gentleman? I don't know. The black child. Is Brian the name of the black child who was born in the ghetto?

Who deserves every opportunity. Who deserves better. That bitch, that guy's girlfriend should send him a picture of her pussy. I'm going to be mad if she beat Super Killer with that GoFundMe. Be like, man, why didn't I just get a boyfriend and have him get stabbed? I'm this close mad if she be a super killer with that GoFundMe. Be like, man, why don't I just get a boyfriend and get stabbed? I'm this close to doing a give-send-go. I might do it. For that guy?

Yes, for that poor man that was assaulted by that. I think you gotta have permission to do that. I can do whatever I want. I don't need permission from anyone. Least of all, no. Well, I hope you fund a spirited defense. Don't you think he was assaulted, like at least? Can you stop asking me that?

No, I don't think he was assaulted. I think that he had a manic episode or whatever the fuck it was. Carson did? Yeah. No, the white guy. The white, no, the black guy. So let me ask you this. Let me present this to you.

So you're walking, it's four in the morning, right? You're walking down the street Hitting trash cans Minding your own business Hitting stuff Just having fun Right Sure

You just came from Stomp The musical You're kind of Getting jazzed up And all of a sudden This The rhythm of the streets

All of a sudden This Antifa Pair You don't know if they're A man or a woman Could be Could be trans Gets up Why would that Matter You don't know if they're a man or a woman, could be trans, gets up. Why would that matter?

You don't know. Get up. They stand up, and they start coming after you. Yeah. They could both be, you know, a guy and a trans guy. You don't know. Okay. What could they want at four in the morning?

What could they want? Because they could be raping you. This could be a rape. A woman could rape you, too. It doesn't have to be a trans. Yeah, but that's fine. Okay. That's not as bad.

It's not as bad. So they're chasing you, and you're like, whoa. And then the guy comes up to you, and he gets close and starts whispering. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So you start smashing trash cans. Get away. Get away. Right?

No. And then he starts slapping you for no reason. You don't know what this bitch is going to. She could be recording you. So you say, you try to get away from me. And then he weirdly, he trips over a bench,

which means he could be on PCP. He could be goofed. Because why would someone trip over a bench on purpose? He's obviously on drugs, fentanyl, PCP. He could be high out of his mind. You don't know. So you start hitting him. Say, just stay down.

Just stay down. Stop. I'll disagree with you to end this nonsense. Just stop harassing me. Stay down. And now he's dead. And that's your fault? You're right. He acted 100% logically. Everyone should just stab people in case something happens.

Now you're making it, this is a racist attack that you're doing. Not racist. Very spooky incident, and I'm glad that it's come to an end. More racism. It's not racist. It's all a mean joke.

Okay, what's your problem? What was your problem? Oh, is that? Yours was mosquitoes, and then we ended up talking about. Mosquitoes, that's my problem. Okay, I have to do one more. Dick, here's my problem is,

we as the modern man are deserving of distractions. Let's be clear. There's nothing left to live for. There's no new worlds to conquer. We're just spinning our wheels. Were you there conquering those new worlds? No, exactly. It's been denied to us. Well, my ancestors

did conquer worlds and they tried to take that achievement away from us because we cut a couple slaves' you know, limbs off. What are you going to do? What are they for? Columbus Erasure voted up. Anyway, so you're always looking for something new to do some new fun thing. Okay.

Okay. But at the end of the day, it's like, what is there? It's like, oh, there's a new restaurant you got to try. We got a new way to eat fried chicken. It's hot. It's spicy. Now we got a new way to eat fried chicken. It's hot. It's spicy now. We got a new video. This video game.

Spooky season. Here's what we all know we want and I don't know why they're denying it. My problem is lack of sex tourism opportunities. Okay. Thailand. I think within America Each state should offer

Like what kind of Like different That's the thing your imagination should be running wild It's like we know What do humans want We want to sleep We want to eat We want to get off

There's been okay advancements in the realm of pornography. I'll admit, I'll say that. Yeah, okay. A lot of advancement there. Yeah. Easily accessible. Fine. But for some reason, again, you know, there's this weird, I don't want to say Christian,

but just whatever, moral code. Yeah. People are really anti-sex work, I guess. Anti-sex tourism. We could take, you know, if you're really anti like women providing this service, cause Ooh, you know, why do they have to sell their bodies? Even though it doesn't make any sense. You're like, it's free money to get your, your holes plowed. I'll take that. Yeah. Whenever someone's like, Oh man, these girls are being like, uh, really bullied into only fans work. I'm like, oh man, these girls are being like really bullied into OnlyFans work.

I'm like, if I could get like a hundred bucks a day to show my feet, I'd take that deal. You're being offered $800 to stop drinking sugar. Yeah, but that's harder than taking a picture of my feet. Okay. Yeah. There's some more natural work there. I'm saying like we went to round one which is a cool arcade experience. An arcade experience. Yeah and I'm like oh this is cool.

There's a bunch of lights and they got karaoke and arcade games or whatever. How come there's not like one thing where it's like yeah you can play the arcade games, you can win tickets, you can do karaoke bowling. And then there's a room over here with a machine that sucks your dick. Right. For like two dollars.

And it's really good at it. You put your dick in the machine and you can choose if you want a Japanese girl. Sucking your dick. Yeah, sucking your dick. And you just put tokens in and you do that. Why is that not a thing? Well, you can jack off in the bathroom.

Is that a thing? No, no, no, no, no. I want new experiences. You want it to be a team sport? What do you want exactly? I want to be like, hey, we should go on vacation. Okay. Let's go to Minnesota. And it's like, well, why go to Minnesota?

Because that's where like Tit Palace is. Oh, sold. I'm in. Oh, I didn't know there was that. I didn't know there was Tit Palace involved. It's an entire fun house with a bunch of women and they're just like lined up. Well, that's the Scores Cruise. Yeah, that kind of exists.

Well, you can just... You just like... You pay like a flat fee and you go in and you can just fondle their titties. Tits? Smack them around a little bit.

Well, that would just be one of the... Like, that's the idea is there would be different... Strip club, though. Yeah, but the strip club you can't touch. You can do whatever you want.

Well, if you... What are they going to do, kick you out? Yes. You paid $20 to be here. I don't know why people keep saying that preposterous lie. I got yelled at in the strip club. They're like, hey. Who yelled at you, though? Big black lady.

A stripper. Yeah, a stripper. Yeah. Don't pay attention on that. Yeah, that's... They don't own that place. I think the strip club experience is lacking. It's like

because here's the problem. Because they're so fat. Yeah. Well that's part of it and also there's no like designated jerk off area. Right? Well now I have a boner but like why does the strip club not provide like little individual. Because then you're not going to give them any more money.

I know, but that's fucked. It's like, why do I want to go to a place to get fucking blue balls at some point? Why don't you guys just work on the one thing then? Making prostitution legal. Sure. All you got to do is make drugs legal, prostitution legal. There should be individual shower stalls that after you've had a good time with a stripper, you can go in, $10 to rent a ski and jerk yourself off.

Like a truck stop? Yeah, but it's like a super cleaning thing after you jerk off. Like fucking infrared light zaps all the cum so the next guy who comes in doesn't have to deal with your shit. I don't even need that. Just leave the cum there. I don't care. I'll just step over it. I don't give a shit.

I just think we have the technology. Why is there no virtual reality bordellos with the fucking Japanese sex robots and shit? Like, all we have is like, ooh, you got to try this new fusion sushi or whatever. It's like, I'm tired of that. Like, I want a new experience. And the only frontier left. I mean, buddy, you're like the fucking definite Your your life is just basically Judge Dredd

Like everything that you do and want in life is like the the population of the comic judge What do you want me to do? Go on a hike? Yeah, exactly. I've done that I've gone to the ocean and I've looked at the ocean and I get it. It's the ocean Wouldn't it be better if after I look at the ocean. I need a jack off machine. Yeah, I could go to the. I need a jack off stall. I should be able to look in the phone booth and be like, I want some crazy sex thing to happen.

Okay. So do it. Make it. And then people will come. I think honestly, I've thought about it. If I had the funds, I would make a virtual reality sex bordello with like simulated because you got to take the women out of the equation because then everybody gets all. I'm sold again.

Well, because everybody gets all like up in their fucking moral like, oh, you can't do that. You can't abuse women. Yeah, but if you have fucking. They're retarded. If you have robots or whatever, nobody would give a shit. Put like a bunch of LEDs on their heads. There you go. Get in there, you dumb bitch. Check these guys off. I think if you did that, in there, you dumb bitch. Jack these guys up.

I think if you did that, everyone would pretend to have a problem with it. But then the second they went in there and it's like, I can do it, have it say. And now with AI, you could have it. You could be like, I want it to like, you know, do this and say this and look like this or whatever. Yeah. Wait, do you know the waifu guy on Twitter? The waifu dev guy? The guy who's making the NFTs?

No. Or is he trying to make a sex role? He made an AI waifu in VR. I keep meaning to have him on the show and try his waifu thing out. Yeah, there's a bunch of people. You can program her by pulling out personalities and plugging in a mix so she acts differently. There's people who are right now now charging, yeah, to have like an AI girlfriend. And it's like, I think it's like, I don't know, 50 bucks a month or something.

It's just like, she sends you a DM and she's like, hey, what's going on? You know, here's a picture of me. You have to pay for a subscription to whatever. I would like to pay for this one to stop DMing me. I think it's for really lonely weirdos. I don't know. If you want a woman talking to you on a text, you are a fucking weirdo. See, I don't want that. I want a place I can

go to. Like, I can go, you know what? Today, I'm going to take a day to myself. You know, like a spa day, but it's like a sex day. A horror day. It's a horror day, yeah. Well, yeah, fucking, uh... There's going to be a great blowjob machine. Republicans ruined that. They really did.

Women ruined that. Giving women the right to vote ruined everything. It makes no sense that in America where we have everything, and let's be real, anybody who's like, oh, morality. I'm like, we don't have any morality left. And every one of you trying to like beat it back into existence. Shut the fuck up. It's not going to happen.

Kill yourself. Yeah. Basically. We're past the point of no return. Beat it back into existence. Shut the fuck up. It's not going to happen. Kill yourself. Yeah, basically. We're past the point of no return. I do want to live in the Judge Dredd future. You would love it. Because you never want to do anything bad. Well, I wouldn't love it, but it would be better than what we have now.

Sorry, I used that word wrong. You're right. If we're going down the path of the only thing left to do is endlessly consume. Yeah, and jerk off. And jerk off and, you know, eat like an idiot and pretend we're going to take care of our bodies. You know what? Let's just go full bore already. Okay.

What am I going to do? Read a book and sail the ocean and hunt a whale? The time is over. Do you think that would be fun, hunting whales? No, it probably sucked. It definitely sucked. You're working all day. Your hands are fucking worn down to nubs. You're right. Eating hardtack and hunting whales is probably less fun

than getting your dick sucked by a robot. Yeah. Alright. So what do you need to get your... My project started? Yeah, your jerk-off thing started. $10,000,000. Well, okay. We could probably do it on a budget. I don't want to tell you what to do.

The problem is going to be the red tape. It's like, you're going to have to pay off every politician in town. They're not going to let you open a VR... What about in Vegas? The Bunny Ranch. Yeah. You could maybe get... You could have, like, your own Bunny Ranch across the street.

It's just lower prices. Yeah, because they're robots. Come and go. Yeah, but then those guys would get the government to outlaw you because the Bunny Ranch has power. Got to do it in Reno. Okay. The Bunny Ranch is not in Vegas, is it? No.

It's outside. It's in Nevada. That shit's legal in Nevada, but not in Vegas. And not in Reno. Whoa, wait, wait, wait. In Vegas, it is illegal. Prostitution, yeah. Prostitution's illegal.

But right outside, anywhere else in Nevada, it's okay. Nevada, legal. Yeah. But, you know. Gotta go to prim. How far am I gonna drive? For pussy? To drop $600.

Well, that's the other problem is the price is, like, absurd, right? You can't rely on women for this shit though man Cause only like the most busted Like it's so easy for women to just go Fall backwards On a random guys bed And get free money for the rest of their lives You don't need to be

Industrious about it The prices seem absurd For the uh For women? Yeah they've been absurd for a long fucking time. Yeah. Is that your problem? Lack of sex tourism opportunities. Okay. And not the kind that's

in like Thailand and... No, I don't... Those are the bad ones. Well, not the... What do you call it? The ladyboys seem fun. The old age ladyboys. Why do they seem fun? I don't seem fun. The old age lady boys. Why do they seem fun? I don't know.

They just have a whole culture of, I'm going to be a big gay slut. Fuck all these tourists for money. There was this guy who tried making a video about how great it was to fuck prostitutes in Thailand. Yeah. But he made the documentary like, yeah, it's great. You should come over here. Here's some interviews with prostitutes.

But all the interviews were really sad and weird. And I'm like, bro, you're making this video wrong. And they're like, yeah, I didn't want to do it, but I had to do it to pay for my family. And I'm like, don't put that in the video. This isn't exciting me at all. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to Thailand anytime soon. Okay, my last problem is Sober October. Look at me.

I haven't heard of that. You haven't heard of it? Is that a thing? Sober October? Day one of Sober October, of October. Oh, I haven't had a drink in two weeks. Look at me. I'm going to go the whole month. I'm going to get so much done. Oh, look at me. Yeah. Oh, I haven't had a drink in two weeks. Look at me. I'm gonna go the whole month. I'm gonna get

so much done. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. I haven't had a drink in 15 years. Oh, I was so drunk. I was the biggest drunk of all. And now look at me now. My life is so fucking great. Maybe people are just trying, you know, they're worried about how much liquor they're drinking. Liquor, liquor, liquor, liquor, liquor.

Yeah, here's me waking up seeing how long i can go without thinking about booze but not in october because i'm thinking about it as soon as i fucking wake up because some jackass is talking about how they're never gonna drink again like they're so fucking great shouldn't some people abstain from alcohol no when you see uh ethan ralph uh triple a chips do you do you mock those? I have a hard time hanging around with sober people. I can't stop trying to test people.

So you're a negative influence on a sober-minded dude. I feel bad I'm not a big drinker, you know? You feel bad about that? Yeah, I do. Well. Because we go to these, like, at the live show, I'm like, I don't know what to drink. Yeah. I'm not good at drinking.

You are. Am I? Yes, not doing it is the best way to do it. I drink a little bit. But not going online and bragging about how I'm going to go the whole month without, and then you have all these other kiss asses. Yeah, good for you. Oh, good job.

Yeah, drinking's the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all so fucking perfect. What is the, what do they get out of it? They get to talk about them. It's like write a book November where everybody pretends to be a writer. Yeah. For all month.

And then talk to, tells other oh you're such you have so many interesting stories never mind that you've never told one before and that's not what's important about books is the story it's how you tell it you stupid cocksucker i always meant to do that in a november write on that write a novel what's it going to be about uh i got a i got a science fiction book i've been kicking around for a while what's what is it about though what's how science fiction is it uh it's about your jerk off uh restaurant a guy goes to a jerk off it should be like a restaurant there should be a menu uh it's about a guy who uh gets sentenced to prison on a uh farming planet and It's about space farmers who have to

then become... It's good. It's like... What are they farming in space? Crops for the main planet. They farm crops on the planet and send them all the way to another planet? How big is the fucking planet? They got a whole farming planet

and they send it to the central... They spend all that fuel to escape from the atmosphere and drag crops from a whole other planet? Well, if you send one big ship, you know, they probably have propulsion technology that's better than our own. They know how to make food with that? Do they know how to make food with what, the fuel? With all this, yeah, fuel to get out of it. You got to stretch your imagination a little bit. What happens?

Well, you know, they have a bunch of little interpersonal things. The main character learns to love the land. He used to be a hotshot space pilot, but now he learns there's value in the soil. Shut the fuck up. It sounds retarded. This is your story? It's got heart. And then, you know,

after they all farm these... Like Nebraska is a planet? Yeah, basically. Okay. It's like a shitty farming colony. All right. Is someone going to blow it up or something? Well, it's food planet?

George Soros? On the ship is alsoos? On the planet is a ship graveyard for all the ships from the previous space war, right? So they have to, you know, at one point they're like, oh, we can't possibly seed these fields in time for the harvest. So he

teaches all the farmers how to crop dust using these old fighters, right? And then the aliens return. Oh, there's aliens. And then the aliens return. Oh, there's aliens. Yeah, yeah. So then the farmers all who have all been trained to crop dust in these pilots now

and these fighter planes now have to learn how to be actual. How come it's in another planet? How come it's not just on Earth? Oh, Earth was taken over by the aliens thousands of years ago.

Farm planet? Humanity's been on the run, escaped to a separate galaxy to get away from the alien menace known as the locusts. See the metaphor there because they're farmers. Sounds horrible. Why did you want to make this? It's not horrible. It's good. What's good about it?

It seems like a sci-fi Sunday afternoon movie. It's like a young adult novel. It's like this is a farm a sci-fi, like, Sunday afternoon movie. It's like a young adult novel. Like, all the farm, it's like, this is a farm full of, like, you know, teenagers and shit. Oh. Sexy teenagers? I would assume some of them are sexy, yeah. And they're all prisoners. They've all done something wrong.

They all have their sins to atone for. Like, holes? Is it just a ripoff of holes? It's basically a ripoff of holes. But with farms Well it's like holes but there's no like It's like kind of they're like self sufficient It's like there's like a robot Overseer who's basically like

Well if you do a bad job you're gonna get reassigned To another farm so like On another planet? No like on this planet Just gotta get to a crappier farm? You have to do it Yeah. To like. Oh. Kind of.

Yeah. It's like we're gonna break up the gang. You know. So you should do a good job. Harvesting these crops. Sounds worse than I saw them. It's not worse than I saw them. It sounds like dog shit.

It's not. The way you're describing it. Well. At the. The. The main guy. You know. He was like.

He was in the like. Training program. For all the like. Government pilots or whatever. Okay. He uncovers kind of this conspiracy. Conspiracy. Okay.

Strikes a superior officer, and then they go, well, that's a court martial. You're banished to the farm. You're banished to the farm. Okay. And then he's like, at first he wants to escape from the farm planet, you know, and then he goes, you know what? Sounds just like Holes. I'm going to stay on the farm planet. I'm going to work these fields.

And there is value in the soil. There's value in working with your hands. This is your dream to make this book? It's not my dream. You're going to write this book in a month? It's a good sci-fi plot that I've had kicking around. I have part of it written already. Could you write it on chat, GPT?

No, I don't know. Maybe. Maybe? I don't know. I should send you my other book sometime. You have another book? Yeah. What's it about?

Oh, that's a whole fucking thing. Okay. It's about, you would like that one a little more. It's about teenagers trying to destroy the government. Oh, yeah, I like that. Sober October, it causes relapses. Do you know what a relapse is? Is that when you want to drink?

Yeah, it's when you start drinking again. The emotional relapse stage. Again, are they trying to avoid calories, or they're trying to avoid being disgusting alcoholics? Okay. That's all they're trying to do. If they were trying to stop drinking, they would stop talking about drinking

at the first thing they do when they wake up. I gotta get everybody in sober fucking October. Here I am. I'm not drinking at all. I'm not hungover at all. This is the most amazing day of my fucking life. Is this how alcoholics, like, are they all secretly like, oh, I wish I could go a month without drinking to prove something? I wish I could go a day without, yes.

Because, like, with the no nut November, you know that one where you're not supposed to jerk off for a month? Yeah, that's just people who don't have a girlfriend. But that one, they at least have all these, like, little conspiracy theories about mental clarity and resetting your sex clock. Oh, yeah. Well, the conspiracy about liquor is not a conspiracy.

It's definitely horrible. It's just bad to be without liquor. Yeah. Okay. Jacking off doesn't really do anything. It's fine. I mean, I've been doing it for quite a while, and it feels good. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Exposure to triggers can cause a relapse.

Did you know that? What are triggers? Stress. Anything. Anything could be a trigger. This is things that could get you to drink again? Yes. That's why sober October is bad, He's making people drink. Yeah like me

Interpersonal problems that could trigger a relapse mmm peer pressure peer pressure Works in lack of social support. Oh, man Wow Could you imagine having social support on anything? I've never heard of the sober October thing. I'm making this up. No Here I've never heard of the sober October thing. I'm making this up. No Here we go. I got it community. I need to know about the time every fucking year with this shit. Let me load it up sober October sober October

see My name is Annoying my name is Nikki, and I'm an alcoholic in recovery. Hey, uh, bitch, keep it in AA. I don't want to fucking see... Nobody wants to see this shit all day. We got a whole fucking whole thing. Yeah, anonymous.

The anonymous is the most important part. It should be called anonymous alcoholics. Uh... On this sober October, I wonder if I said hello, how many would be kind enough not to judge me and say hello back, showing others struggling with alcohol. That is the stigma of alcoholism is reducing. Alcohol, alcohol.

I'm just trying to get up today, okay? Everyone using the Sober October hashtag, I just want to, like, post an image of people drinking with a hashtag. Go drink. Drink up. Go drink. Fuck your sobriety. Go drink. You're annoying. You were more fun when you were drinking. Have a fucking, have a couple drinks. Yeah. Go drink. Drink up. Drink your pussy. Go drink. Fuck your sobriety. Go drink. You're annoying.

You were more fun when you were drinking. Have a fucking have a couple drinks. Yeah. God. Annoying bitch. Maybe I should take alcoholism seriously. You don't have it in you. You could never be an alcoholic. See you say that but. Uh uh. No. It runs in the blood. Look at. Look. Today makes

30 days I haven't touched booze or drugs. Oh, wow, dude. Good for you. Fucking good job. I think if I started drinking all the time, I think I could become an alcoholic pretty quick. You'd probably lose weight. Probably. Oh, look at this bitch.

I thought about just taking up smoking. Yeah. Is there like a healthy smoking yet? Like nicotine? I guess she's a vape. Nicotine patch. She's a vape. Vape's more healthy.

It makes you not eat though, right? The nicotine? Yeah, actually. It looks cool though. Smoking. Not a vape. Yeah, exactly. So how have they not figured...

20 cigarette. Have they figured out... If you smoke like a clove cigarette, does that look like a regular cigarette? Have they made any... From a whore yeah made any cigarette alternatives that look cool like regular cigarettes but don't have a bunch of tar in them heroin no that's that's not what i meant one year of sobriety pure gratitude sober october oh you're so much better than me. Yeah. You bitch. Anyway, that's my problem. See, I would just like to have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth all the time.

You could do that. You ever see the drummer from Cheap Trick? No. He was kind of like a fat guy, but he would wear a businessman's collared shirt. I think he wore suspenders. Okay. And he just had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. That's the coolest fucking fat guy look there will ever be.

Say his name again? Just look up Cheap Trick Drummer. I think he was the drummer. Not that. You gotta find an old picture of him. Yeah, look. Look at that picture of him right there. This one?

That one He looks like a dick Yeah it's awesome That's the best I gotta get glasses Like that too You're gonna have to Lose about

100 pounds I know I know That's what a fat guy Used to look like That's Yeah He used to be a chubby guy Now it's

Fat guy Well I'm just saying He's bigger than the other guys In the band He's not fat But he was like You know Bigger

But you identify with this. I identify. You might as well have picked Brad Pitt or something. You don't look anything like this guy. I could. I wouldn't have the hair, sadly. Yeah. I just saw him with the cigarette.

Everybody looks cooler with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth. Remember at the end of Ghostbusters? Yeah. Who played Stance? I always forget. Dan Aykroyd. Yeah, Dan Aykroyd at the end of Ghostbusters. He's all covered in ghost goo.

He lights up a cigarette. He's got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I'm like, man, that's just the coolest looking fucking thing ever. Yeah. Just like a hard day's work. What about a toothpick? No, because that makes it look like you just finished eating like a cocktail sauce. It's like black people cigarette I do effect. I had to do a toothpick. Yeah, toothpick. That's cool, too

I want to come up. That's that's my business plan is a cigarette that looks like a cigarette Like a candy cigarette. No, cuz no yeah, I mean it could be I guess if it burn. It's got a burn though It's gotta have burn, though. It's got to have fire. Fire is part of it. Yeah. Just take that... Why does it got to have tar in it?

Can't you take the tar out? Well, because it gets you high. It's the tobacco you want. All right, all right, all right. What are our problems? Sober October. Yeah. Halloweenies.

Mm-hmm. Mosquitoes. Lack of sex tourism. Lack of sex tourism Lack of sex tourism Okay go to biggestproblem.show to vote them up Patreon.com slash biggestproblem I was wrong you did not wake up The entire show

I think we but yeah I mean we were all over the place On this show Not we you are dead I think it's fine It's fun when we meander. I like it. Okay. Let's see what people think. We talked about books.

Let's do some voicemails. We talked about. Here you go. I'll tell you what, Vinny. The way to lose weight is to go to a fucking restaurant and fucking want more and more bread. Great job. Why didn't you just. I'm surprised the waiter didn't fucking look at you and say, oh, I should bring a whole

fucking loaf of this. I like bread. Who left with that? I'm mad we didn't get the bread at that steakhouse. I'm still mad about it. It would look like a nice crispy sourdough. Man, I'm so bummed

that I missed the live show. Because seeing Vito lose the weigh-in would have made me so fucking happy. Vito, if you're sick, why is your drinking fucking cranberry juice, which is like 1% juice, your solution is it's better than soda?

Vito, drink fucking tea, you idiot. Tea is good for being sick People drink hot tea when they're sick That's true Cranberry juice flushes your fucking system That's why they always tell you to drink it If you have a What do you call it a kidney stone

Well that's very specific though Like urinary tract They definitely don't tell you to drink juice cocktail I feel like I had a mental kidney stone That needed removing There's a lot going on I just needed Can I drink juice once in a while

I don't drink juice all the time I was sick there's vitamins in that shit Alright There's no vitamins in tea Alright one more then we'll read super chat A problem I'm fucking having is Shut up Cartoon shows made for a problem I'm fucking having is cartoon shows made for adults and I'm not talking

like family guy fucking stuff like that I'm talking like adventure time but it's in the future now and there's a multiverse and there's elder gods and there's a whole race of gumdrop people who call themselves

flim flam and shushnaz adventure time just say adventure well have you seen the new adventure with fiona and cat i don't watch that shit it's not fiona and cat it's fiona and cake is the name of the cat uh that dumb bitch ruined the first Adventure Time and made it about a boy and his dog into like this sick feminist dystopia. Because the guy who was in charge of it just like had a mental... All these cartoonists are sick. Because women prey on them. Yeah, that Pendleton Ward guy was in charge

and then he's like, I don't even want to make cartoons anymore. Yeah, I'm tired of doing this shit. And he handed it off to some lady. I tried to watch it. The obsession of men with their wife-daughter complex of I'm going to take this beautiful

thing and give it to a fucking woman to continue is, I think, is probably the biggest problem in the universe. It will never not sicken me and ruin every piece of and ruin every property that there is. I got a question real quick.

Have you noticed this trend in media where like men can no longer hand something down to another man? Yeah. It always has to be handed off to a daughter or a niece or something. Yeah. Why? Because the second a man has a hit, the second a man creates something like Adventure Time, you have ten of these sick women

just sinking their claws into him. Your thing's been fucking up. That mic's been fucking up all night. Spin it around. What are you doing? I'm trying to make it so that you can see my face because it's always blocking me. Okay. That's good. make it so that you can see my face because it's always like blocking me.

Okay. That's good. You have these women that are just obsessively manipulating you, trying to sink their claws into you. Yeah. Well, guys are like, I can't compete with this. And he's probably never had that kind of attention before. So it invariably gets shoved off to a woman. But I have to

admit that even when I'm looking at fiction or thinking about fiction, for some reason I naturally gravitate to the idea that the older male character retires and for some reason a young female upstart and I'm like, did something happen in society where it's kind of gay

for an old man to have a relationship with a younger boy, like an emotional connection? Like Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker. You were like, oh yeah, that makes sense. have a relationship with a younger boy like an emotional connection like obi-wan and luke skywalker you were like oh yeah that that makes sense you know it's like he's passing on the force or whatever now it's a girl now it would be a girl and i think there's like some weird thing in society where like we're kind of like weirded out or we've been trained to be like oh that guy shouldn't be hanging out with that young boy and giving him emotional feelings or whatever i don't know it's this weird compulsion

to like raise women as little girls as boys yeah little tom like why the fuck would anybody want a woman to take over indiana jones that's the thing though is that i'm like well that's why i was so upset about them killing mutt where i'm like yeah you should hand it down to his son who shouldn't have been retarded or Don't kill his son in Vietnam. Or just a regular guy. Or just, yeah, another adventurer who's like, yeah, but it seems so foreign now to do that. It's like every single franchise.

Yeah. It was a great episode. We've had some great conversations. I don't know what you're talking about. All right, I'm going to start us over at the Super Chats. I should come in tired every episode. Tired every episode. Yeah, everybody loves that.

You want to read it from last week's? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. I'm tired every episode. Tired every episode. Yeah. Everybody loves that. You want to read it from last week's? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We know we missed some chats. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. I'm there already. Well, yeah.

Luckily, there weren't too many. Well, I was going to say I was actually pissed at you guys. I'm like, we do a whole live show. You only send like 10 super chats. I was pissed about that, too. What the fuck is that? We should have stopped the show until they gave more money. Well, Rydog45 said, what it is.

These are super chats from the last show. LPDirtyT for two. Congratulations on 108. Thank you. Koo45, who was in the audience, so how did he send a Super Chat? Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Come see me for a special sticker if you're attending the live show. I have one of those stickers somewhere, which might become a t-shirt we

discussed. You got one right there. Where? Right next to your remote. Oh, there it is. Thank you for not killing yourself. Let's see. FlippinDip42 says, I think Vito is okay. There's a couple different ways to read that, but thank you. Steve42, everybody scream. UltraWater45, Bunny's in the chat.

ZettaQuickCell for 20. Congrats on episode 108. Looking forward to the next R-Stone to come Much love to y'all Pineapple man for 5 Congrats on 108 Red for 2 Tim Pool's R-Stone should be next to be collected

That's already a tough one He doesn't have a stone He's just dumb Jay Berg for 2 Dick only won because he cheated Solid BM for 2 Kill yourself for complaining about the audio Just dumb. Jay Berg for two. Dick only won because he cheated. Right, Vito? Yes. Solid BM for two. Kill yourself for complaining about the audio.

Zetta Quinksell for two. Shut this government down. John Rister for five. Razor Fist has a video explaining Bill Cosby was innocent. I don't remember why. Congrats on 108. Sad to see Maddox couldn't make it. Yes, it was.

Can you imagine if Maddox just showed up midway through the show and went, you know what, guys? I give my blessing. We could have weighed him. You seen him? Yeah, you saw him in that video. He's fatter than hell. He's definitely put on a little weight.

I think we all have. Kara for five says, jealous of everyone there at the live show. Kara, we'll get you to the next one. Zetta Quinksell for two. Riley will get you to the next one. Yeah, Riley's paying. Mr. Moneybags. Mr. Moneybags buying everybody a plane ticket.

Zetta says Vito would make a great nutritionist for Fat Camp. Lemon Sake for two. Vito's committing assaults again. Congrats on 108. Thank you. John Vander sell for 10. Cheers from Wisco, boys. Especially the Niggler. Big fan. More calls, please. We haven't had a Niggler call-in in a while. That's a good point.

That's fine. We don't need a call-in from the Niggler call in in a while. That's a good point. We don't need to call in from the niggler. John for five. Also, FYI, I might not be able to be present, but I've got crossword puzzles watching live at my garage bar. Thank you very much. Fried onions and garlic for 15, whatever the fuck that is. Can't wait for the next biggest problem, the reboot.

Shout out from Singapore. Wow. Thanks. An biggest problem, the reboot. Shout out from Singapore. Wow, Singapore. Thanks. An expat, I assume. Probably Ben for 10 GBPs. If you don't need to start doing drugs, it's the funniest way to lose weight. Just take MDMA or Speed. Do it every week until you either die or get thinner.

Speed. That's how John Belushi lost all that. Or Jim Belushi lost all that weight. John Vanderselfert, too, says he's right. Vito, just a severely abused Adderall. I just got a prescription for something. It's like the slow-release Adderall. Oh, okay. You want one?

You want to try it? Does that explain this? Is it slow Adderall? I haven't been taking it. I just got it. It's real slow. I just got it. I just got it today.

All right. John Vanderselfer5, thank you for not killing yourself, Koof. I guess there were more Super Chess than I thought. John, fan yourself for five. Biggest problem is baby mamas. Yeah, I bet. Is that a quick sell for two? Vito would buy a suit if it was Evangelion themed.

They got these cool Evangelion like bomber jackets. Part of the reason I want to lose weight. Wait, why is it cool? Because it's got like fucking dragons stitched on the back. It's like those Japanese Okay, crazoid jackets see Good a billion jacket bomber jacket. I think it's a bomber jacket It looks like a bomber jacket. Yeah that one with this one look at that

Okay, that's sick. Yeah, so you got to lose weight to wear that yeah because they all come in japanese sizes so i'll literally never be able to fit into them so you'd have that if it came in a walmart size you'd buy this fat guys can't wear that you look like an idiot yeah i gotta get that fat guys can't wear cool clothes that's the one worst part of being a fat guy you gotta wear t-shirts and garbage let's see go up veto gained veto lost from Soku this month's gonna be a good month

it's gonna be a good shut the fuck up Dominic for two sell the goddamn flags I want one you flag people this is episode 109 here we go two for five it was nice getting to see everyone at the live show hope to see you all at the next one I want one. You flag people. This is episode 109. Here we go. Cool for five. It was nice getting to see everyone at the live show.

Hope to see you all at the next one. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Riley Edwards for five. I started listening to Vito's diet tips and gained 20 pounds. Why do you have paper in your mouth, Matty? Pop quiz for a big $20 on the board. The emergency broadcast has activated me to give the biggest problem my money. That's what I want. Red for five. Vito, you should step into the

ring and box against quartering. Winner takes on ReviewTech USA. Would you box the quartering? The quartering should make a video. Did you see ReviewTech USA? Yeah, I do. Did you see his most recent video though? And I was like, dude, you're not coping in the right way where he's like, so we just found

out from the doctor we thought my daughter's eyesight would be restored they're now saying she'll be legally blind by the end of the month and he's like so I just gotta pour myself into my creative projects and I'm like no go be with your daughter who's going

blind what are you talking about box the quartering yeah there's all sorts of shit he's like I want to make music again the video was like i'm like bro don't talk about what creative projects you want to indulge on just kill yourself don't do that uh i hate i fucking hate celebrity boxing uh i hate celebrity boxing even more i don't think he's gonna box the quartering but regardless dude take some time to yourself don't make a video about you know i can't you know i'm gonna get back to doing this stuff a video about I'm going to get back to doing this stuff. I've got to get back

to... Think about that later. Building my Legos. Yeah, I've got to build a deck outside. No, your daughter's going blind. I was watching the video and I was like I should have read the comments because I was like this does not seem like healthy coping with the situation. It'd be like immediately planning your big... I'm going to

make an album. I'm like, bro, my daughter's going blind's going blind i gotta make a new metal album yeah before she loses her eyesight i'm like jesus man i mean that's intense i hope they i hope it works out for him but that video was weird to me i'm annoying for five says veto drink whatever you want i love you uh no he says drink water right here dude for five love you veto thank you jose m water. Right here. Dude for five. Love you, Vito. Thank you. Jose M for five. Dick Mastin. I'm still laughing at how Eric July pronounced Gooding the Palemith.

Palemith! With a bunch of laughing. Did you see that? Yeah, we watched that on the show. Oh, yeah. This one? Play it again. You're talking about my brains fried. You keep bringing up clips already.

Play it again. Play it again. I don't care. I don't know where it is. I don't know where it is. Somebody posted in the chat. John Riffster 5 said, I heard donating to the show ruins black businesses. It does. We're maliciously ruining businesses.

Riley Edwards for 2 makes a niggler joke, which I will not repeat because, guys, come on. You can't take that joke that far. You're ruining it. Riley Edwards, damn autocorrect. Okay. I got it. Bob Genis for two. When is DeVito's swole arc dropping?

Give it like two years. G33X for five. I'm hooked after catching up on the biggest problem in the Riververse feud. If Eric listened to your critique early on, book two could have been better. No, it couldn't have because Eric's retarded. He can't write. Book two sucks. He can't write because he is.

Yeah, go ahead. You got to watch that Mike Partyka's review. He goes through it step by step. talking about everything Eric July did wrong. On the second book? Yeah. They found it in Discord last night, and they're going through panel by panel. Don't say they found it in Discord. Well, the Discord people found a pirate copy on 4chan.

On 4chan? I don't know. Yes, they linked to it on 4chan. Okay. Fuck Eric. know. On 4chan. Why 4chan? I don't know. Yes, they link to it on 4chan. I don't give a fuck. It's on 4chan. Fine. Fucking pirate whatever you want. I don't give a shit.

They've been going through it like panel by panel. And it is, each panel is just a fucking mess. From one to the next. Like, I saw him like, wait. And then the next panel has other arms up. Like really simple shit that he fucked up on. I think the art's good. The art sucks on Isam.

Well, the art is like. It's all jumbled up, man. It's like wrong hands. It's like the castle looks like dog shit with beer steins coming out. The castle looks like a fucking replica fucking village castle. I'm like, why don't you give her a cool castle, man? Yeah. Well, the castle should be way cooler. The castle looks like a fucking, like, replica fucking village castle. I'm like, why didn't you give her a cool castle, man? Yeah. Here, let me show you what.

Give her, like, a big gothic fucking Castlevania-looking thing. It looks like a Ren Faire thing made out of, like, plaster. Cardboard. Yeah, it looks like dog shit. Here, let me see. Do you have Bloodruth's castle pulled up already? Because I know I commented on it. I called it the Castle gay skull um i saw look

i mean i i guess i'm just like more forgiving of comic art because it's there's not a lot of great comic artists these days look this is the castle it looks like total shit what the fuck are these little handles here yeah what is that even in life? It's a crane coming out of a castle? If you're going to have a cool, like, gothic lady, give her, like, a cool... And also make the castle, like, big. We'll make it black. Okay, yeah. Because she's black. Well, all right.

AI could do a better job than this. Oh, absolutely. If you told AI, give me a picture. Have you tried Bing's image creator? Vito, look at the size of the drawbridge. Why is it a quarter mile? That's not how a drawbridge works. Look at these chains.

What the fuck is this going to do? Warp it through time? Time and space to pull it up? What are these things? If you're gonna make Just give her a cool castle Like a Dracula castle You know

He's got a Silverado Or whatever the fuck this is It is funny to see Yeah Just like this shitty pickup truck Parked in front of this Goofy looking

Renaissance castle Cool Yeah okay And well That's uh The art sucks I mean the guy must not care The artist

I mean it's Cause it looks like dog shit. It's about speed more than anything. Speed's what matters. Takes a year. Yeah, it's not that speedy, but, you know, what are you going to do? Everyone involved is doing a shitty job. Yeah.

Everyone. Well, my comic's going to look like shit, too. No, my comic's going to look great. I love how my comic's looking. Some people are nitpicky. I can't wait until Eric's people nitpick the shit out of my comic. It's going to be fucking hilarious. You're going to get a lot of attention out of that. I know.

They're going to be like, well, this fucking... I tricked you guys into reading it. Copyright strike everybody. I'm going to copyright strike all of them. I believe this is from a pirated copy GMCA. Bad faith. Let's see. Exhibits for 10. Hey, Vito, I love you even though you're an illiterate comic writer.

Evaxis, is that? Okay. That hopefully took three seconds to read and pronounce my name correctly. Jesus watches dubs. Hey, that's a good line from me. Glow wormization for five. I'm not illiterate. I read the super chats pretty good.

Yeah, you're not illiterate at all. Thank you. For five, Vito suffers from fat math. Does every super chat have to be about how I don't know how to count calories? You're the one saying that beef and broccoli is healthy. I looked up the calorie count, okay? It's not how you left the rice out. Here, how much for a fucking...

Let me see the calories on a scoop of rice. Okay. Calories, scoop. White rice. White rice. Do you think that's better? Yeah, it's better than fried rice. 200 calories.

And how big was your scoop? I don't know, man. I don't know. I'll tell you what. You know what? Why don't you hire me a nutritionist so you can weigh every fucking thing I eat? You're not going to listen to him, though. I'm a nutritionist.

Stop drinking fucking Mountain Dew. I'm not drinking Mountain Dew. I'm drinking Diet Coke. All right? Anyway. Would you eat only and drink only what the nutritionist said? No cause he's gonna make me eat almonds And broccoli and

Almonds? Already you're eating just A shitload of calories My fat friend would eat two foot long subs But it was okay cause you worked hard Hey fucking Jared would eat those subs He ate a six inch though No he would only get to four inches.

Yeah. Three inches. Jimmy McAdaboy, whatever, bro. You expect me to believe you broke your eye tube? Come on. And he says, E-Fairy SJW bullshit. Yeah. Nice try.

Your eye tube. Anyway, buy my first party coffee at white label prices. What do you think? That was a good try. What do you think? You saw there was a try, right? You missed it. Yeah, I missed it.

iTube? iTube. E-Fairy. SJW. I missed that one. He's not being serious. David Gomez for five. If Mint doesn't start wearing bras soon, she's going to trip over those things at 30.

I hate that shit. Man, fuck you. I fucking hate these boob truther cocksuckers. I almost brought in boob troopers. Anytime, like, a woman posts herself with big tits, they're like, oh, you better watch your back, though. You better watch your fucking back. Oh, your tits are saggy.

Like, man, why don't you just fucking kill yourself? You don't want to? Go to your oven. You, David. Go to your oven. Turn it on high. Don't light it. Stick your head in and go to sleep forever. Fuck you.

I fucking hate that shit. I love how often we tell the audience to kill themselves. That's going on the... I mean, hey, I'm a chick. I got big naked tits over here. Some fucking pencil dick. Better wrap those up. Hey, you better fucking support your back.

Like, bro, do you have to support your balls? Is that what you're going? Oh, man, I'm real fucking worried about some chick's tits ten years from now. You fucking gay lord. What the fuck kind of comment is that? You got a good point. In ten years, who cares? Oh, dick, I just want, you should

enjoy that less because in like 20 or 30 years i mean those chicks uh tits you're not going to be as excited as you were today wow fucking thanks man i'm so glad you put that idea into my fucking head there's always a new set of tits hey dick i know you like those tits but remember that naked old woman in the shining does don't you think that uh you shouldn't be so excited? God damn. Fuck you. Well, we just want Mint Salad to be all she can be. Go fuck. First of all, you don't know shit about tits sagging either.

Subscribe to ASC Presents on YouTube and fansly.com slash tits mint salad. Uh-huh. Yeah. Hope I got those right. Jean Rick has a bird with a trash can. Coffee. A bucket of blood. Oh-huh. Yeah. Hope I got those right. Gene Rick has a bird with a trash can. Coffee. A bucket of blood. Oh, coffee.

Coffee. Wake the fuck up, Vito. Does that make more sense than a bird giving you a bucket of blood? I don't know. These gifts don't make any sense. They're really small. Bob Genus for $3.01. You guys make me laugh without fail.

$3.01. Is that how many episodes we're going to get to? I don't know Rad for two Says this is double what I pay on Dick's Patreon monthly Thanks You have a dollar tier on your Patreon? I should get rid of it

You should get rid of it Yeah You can get rid of it And the people who already have it are grandfathered in I'm gonna kick them out manually Fuck that shit Freeloaded cocksuckers Yeah dollars

Dollars too cheap Jose M for 10 Eric July 100% keeps a blacklist I know it's narcissists Like him who secretly admit to people They keep a blacklist Rikado was drunk and 100% honest The mask did indeed slip Was Rikado the one who says he has a blacklist

Yeah But Rikado I assume did not go into detail On how he knows this I mean do you need to I don't know it would be interesting if he saw it. Well, I mean, it's a blacklist, so it's metaphorical. I don't have a blacklist.

I have a folder of blackmail, though. Oh, you do? Yeah. What's in it? Just like the worst things my enemies have tweeted, so I can be like, hey, remember when you said this? I bet you fucking do. How about that? What a sicko. It's just like, you know, stupid shit Eric Giles said, you know. Oh.

So you can hammer him. Eagle 77 for big $50. I guess you should give his whole name. Eagle 77 X 7. 7. Thank you. Your name is a math problem. Well, thanks for the 50.

He says, can I get a happy birthday for my fiancee Kim on her 28th birthday? She introduced me to Biggest Problem and TDS, which are both awesome. We're both patrons of both shows and love the content. Great shows, guys. Keep it up. Happy birthday for a woman. For 50. I don't know.

Maybe. You know what? I'm going to say happy birthday, Kim. Okay. Me too. You can't say me too. You have to say it. 49.99. If it was 50, maybe. You can't say me too. You have to say it. $49.99.

If it was $50, maybe. If it was $50 even. Yeah, then maybe. I'll just say happy birthday to any individual whose birthday. Any woman whose birthday it is today. Happy birthday to you. All women. Listener.

Listener. Any women who are listening, which is probably just that one. Happy birthday to you. That's spiteful. That's horrible. Thank you, Kim. Thank you for one. Happy birthday to you. That's spiteful. That's horrible. Thank you, Kim. Thank you for the support. We love you. MegaHard for five. Vito tries zucchini. Yeah, I don't care.

BlitzBeam for ten. Subpart. Anyone who gives me diet advice? But you're failing! I get it. You're failing big time. I get it. Everyone's got a new idea. Okay? They're just trying to wean you off of sugar.

I think that I'm on the path. That's what matters. I feel good. More like a roller coaster. Well, it has been ups and downs, okay? And some emotional trauma that I had to eat my way through. Now everything's fine. Pick up cocaine.

Oh, cocaine's expensive, though. You don't have the budget for that. There goes super killer that There goes super killer There goes super killer Now we got it Blitzbeam for 10 Sup partners While watching the show

With my girlfriend She said that dick Gained all the weight Vito lost And I chuckled You're not laughing JJ for 5 Vito one of your problems

Was french fries What's wrong with you Eating unhealthy food You don't even like You should be ashamed Yeah Yeah I don't know The fries are What's wrong with you? Eating unhealthy food you don't even like. You should be ashamed. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

The fries are... What's wrong with you? Fries add a little something. Coup for five. The worst part about religious Halloween complainers is they kvetch about Halloween, but don't care about the Christmas decorations in stores in October. That's true. Zagothra for 10.

Remember the warehouse joke? I think the lack of a punchline caused a car was karmic cause a karmic comedy ripple that infected eric july to bring us all this warehouse based comedy and bring balance to the bit i was gonna ask one of my trivia questions was where where is the warehouse you're just gonna go where yeah where but i missed it on my reading. That was a pretty... It took me so long, and I had no idea what was going on. No, I don't think I ever got it. I'm like, what do you mean exactly? That's where it is.

And I'm like, I can't follow. I can't follow. He just wanted me to say where. Is that a Quicksilver, too? Vito looks like Garfield and Dick's a Q-tip. Really? I like what you do look like. These are good. Q-tips are, oh,

they do have those Q-tips that are blue in the middle. A little more blue. I like when we have the composed, like, UCLA. Yeah, well, blue and gold is a classic color combination. Sure. Let's see. J-Lo for five says, oh, Vito is bashing Christianity again.

Feels like a bag 2013. Yeah, I don't like, uh, I mean so many Christianity problems. I'm turning the show into our atheism. Yeah. Deal with it. It's like, okay. I mean, that's a very, what is that, one tweet? It's not so many Christian problems. It's like two Christian problems. Hmm.

Well, you don't let me bring in food problems. Well, you gotta go a little bit outside of those Your comfort zone I think Here's what I've realized about this show You live a life so you have all these life experiences Or whatever I hang at home and I pet my cats And I play Magic the Gathering online So do a Magic the Gathering problem

Fucking ask Twitter what the problem should be I was gonna bring in a Magic the Gathering problem Then I'm like that's retarded The power creep is too much man The cards are creep. I'm getting too powerful LP do have you seen the one the one ring is dominating every format. It's absurd that there was only one of it No, there's there's regular versions of it That's there's a there's a one ring. That's like you want of one, but then there's like regular

That's horse shit. You know that's like the one of one, but then there's like regular one rings. Oh, that's horse shit. You didn't know that? No. There should have only been one. Well, then other people can't own it and they'd be mad. That's the point. Yeah, I mean, that would be cool if there was a one of one magic card.

I actually agree with you. And we'd be better now because they're going to have to ban it because it's like fucking overpowered. The card's ridiculous. I don't even care. Yeah. Well, that's why I didn't bring it in as a problem. LP Dirty T for five. In Idaho, they moved trick-or-treating to Saturday to prevent celebrating Halloween on Sunday in 2021.

Keep the Sabbath holy or else the devil wins. Kat Reyes for five. The intro video counts down from five to 449 instead of 459. My autistic brain can't handle it. Really? Let me see. Let's see.

That seems like a pretty obvious fuck up. You idiot. What the fuck? I don't know. I would never notice that before. I'd never even look. I feel like in my brain I did kind of notice that. I was always like...

Yeah? But then I just didn't register it. Does it do that on every time? Yeah, every time. Or every minute? Or is it just five? I don't know if four goes to 449 or 349. Okay.

We'll have to fix that. Thanks for pointing that out. Coup for five. Wizard supremacy was Voldemort's position. He wanted to take over the world and subjugate muggles. Harry and the good guys stop him from doing that. Yeah, but they never, like, talk about, like, we love muggles or, like. Because they don't.

Because no one does. Okay, because. Fuck muggles. No. So you took the wrong lesson from Harry Potter. Not fuck muggles. We are muggles. Don't fuck us.

I would love Voldemort to just kill everyone. Jesus Christ. That would be fucking fantastic. Well. I would have loved Voldemort to just kill everyone. Jesus Christ. That would be fucking fantastic. I would wake up and go, fucking good job, dude. If you have access to magic, and you know there's people in the muggle world who are trying to solve cancer and shit, don't you kind of owe them? Solving cancer? Well, no, just the idea That there's an entire branch Of like

Unknown physics That could better the Magic it's not physics It must have some physical Or whatever properties This is why you guys Gotta be wiped out Asking these fucking stupid questions

Me me me me me Hey what about We have cancer over here Can we get some free shit Can you guys just sit around Fixing all your fucking problems All day I love that the Fantastic Beasts movies

are just an excuse for why didn't the wizards intervene in World War II? Is that what they are? Yeah, because it's like well, we were dealing with this thing. We had a bigger Hitler. It's like, you guys had time travel. You could have done something about that holocaust. See, this is the kind of shit that you get if you're a wizard. Hey, what's up?

I'm a wizard. Why didn't you go back in time and stop Hitler? You know what? I'm a fucking magic Hitler, man. That's why. Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap. Any more fucking brain busters, dude? I think the wizards could have done more to stop the reign of the third rank.

But instead they were like, who cares about all those muggles? Who fucking does care? I do. I don't want the Jews to perish. What are you, over in China right now fucking shilling out money? Here you go. You guys don't like living in caves. Here you go.

I'm basically a wizard giving out free money so you guys can fucking eat. So you don't have to fucking eat dirt or poop or whatever you're eating in Ethiopia. Stop siding with the wizards. Stop it. They're bad people. Riley Edwards for two. Mosquitoes like blood, not syrup. They won't bug Vito.

I get it. Koo for two. Mosquitoes like blood, not syrup. They won't bug Vito. I get it. Coup for two. Mosquitoes are the worst microaggressors. Voted up. Yeah, true. Emo for two. Missing persons reports is the biggest problem in the universe, says Papa JF.

Hugh Jazz for five. Says Mexican here. I can confirm Mexicans do always tell stories about crossing over, as well as ghost aliens they saw while living in Mexico. Yeah, always ghosts and aliens. Maybe Mexico has more ghosts and aliens. CG for five. Carson deserved to get spooked more than Ashley Pabbott. Hashtag free Brian.

Please don't use... Free Brian. Please don't... Hashtag free Brian. Hashtag free Brian. It's spooktober. Yay, yay, yay. Is that a quick sell for five?

Biggest problem in the universe is being woken up by a government alarm after a 12-hour night shift. Mr. Drunkle12345 says, Cool hat, Vito. Were you the one who sent me these hats, Mr. Drunkle? I love these hats. TheLocks410 had a ton of fun at the show last week. Thank you for the entertainment week after week, and thank you for accepting my $10. Thank you. I'll take your $10 all day. LPDirtyT42,

WhiteLibSaviorComplex equals Darwin Award nominee. Rydog45, Brian obviously stabbed Ryan because he was jealous that Ryan is the superior name. Just another case of Brian on Ryan violence. Charles Baker for five. Quarter Poundering the next

Artard Stone. No. LP Dirty T for two. Go visit an amp, Vito. I do like amp. Spider Eternal for two is Sean in Vito's novel He Knows About Farming. Sean in your holes novel? No, but I do need to consult with a scientist about like, I need to watch that movie, The Astronaut, where Matt Damon does like Mars farming.

Yeah, I wanted to put some science in there. I talked to Dr. Kevin about it. You know, like maybe the soil has like more nitrogen, so you'd have to like, you know, change the. Sounds like an amazing novel Farming is kind of interesting. I find farming simulator. Yeah, I love that shit Let's see just elven for five. Why wouldn't the people on the other planet just move? Because it's like it's like the whole planet why don't we manufacture all of our shit in America? Why do we do it in China? Fucking good question. Well, that's an answer.

Yeah, because they're dumb. That's why. Koo for two says, does the sci-fi-ass farm story include Sean? No. C. Villa for five, my wish is Dick and Josh could be friends again. You two are great together. Vito to Lou. I have to quit the show for you guys to be friends again, apparently.

Well, I think even if you and I didn't work together, because Null has lied to his audience. He's gaslit himself, I think even if you and I didn't work together, because Null has lied to his audience. He's gaslit himself, I think. He's convinced himself and his audience that you're a legitimate pedophile. Yeah, he's like, I think even, well, I'm not going to speculate. Again, I just don't even want to talk about Null because there's like nothing to say. Yeah. Even then, though, he's on some new level of like, he's going after Nick for, he's just like, he's like a puritanical figure now.

Where any sort of sex is evil and weird, and he calls everyone he doesn't like some permutation of, like, some degenerate sex crime that he's totally inventing on the fly. degenerate sex crime that he's totally inventing on the fly. Even though he's the only one. Like, out of me and Nick Ricada and Null, two of the three of us have satisfying relationships with a woman. Right. And one of us is a 300 pound

sysadmin for an e-celebrity gossip forum. Yeah, it's like, it's weird how much they, like, pick apart your guys' relationships. With women. With a woman. I've met 80s girl, obviously, and I'm like, wow, what a cool, stable relationship where everybody's having a lot of fun

all the time. Yeah. You guys like go on vacations, you know, you hang out. It's like that consent thing, like, yeah, do you consent? Null is back there, come on. Oh, I don't consent. I mean man okay you guys are fun 80s girl sent me like a message like hey there's a fun

thing you know yeah I'm like man I wish I had a girlfriend who came up with fun events to go to and shit so does null so like I don't understand obsessing over other people's fucking relationships and being like oh they must be miserable it's like no I think you guys are miserable.

Like, I think you got, look. He's like, he's like all over Nick Riccati's, like, oh, they're secretly like, she's divorcing him. And it's like, man, what you're saying is just totally insane. I think it comes down to like, look, a lot of young men are miserable right now and then i'm gay they have every right to be miserable i get it that's why they all flock to like jordan peterson's and shit guys we're gonna tell them well if you just clean your room everything will be fine you know they want quick easy answers yeah and part of that is to you know look at people who are kind

of happy and successful there must be some sort of you're very successful you're very happy i mean i could i'm as happy as i could be, which is not happy. But whatever. Your relationship is not like a poison fucking thing where you got to worry about, I don't know, her running away with the kid and. Mama J.F.ing me. Yeah, you're not going to get Mama J.F.ed, which seems pretty satisfying. Oh, I could only wish for such a thing to happen to me. Yeah. My life, I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm pretty happy with where I'm at. Like, obviously, I need to make some changes, but one day at a time. And then I just, I think guys who are dissatisfied with their own situation, they want to go like, well, I don't like that this guy's not dissatisfied. Or I'm going to assume he is secretly dissatisfied. That's why they really jumped on the thing where, like, we kind of, like, had, like, what I'm'm gonna say was kind of a

joke fight About the fucking TV show Okay, I'm like yeah, I lean into it because it's funny and they're like see they hate each other Did you see that? I mean it's funny like that picture was funny But that wasn't in the treatment that you sent and also the part where you're like, you know I'm like, I can't believe you made fun of my anime figurines in the back of my head I'm like no that was funny. I totally get it. And then they come up with, they love conspiracy theories where they're like, Dick is negging

Vito because he wants Vito to quit so him and Nick can do a show together. And I'm like, guys, what are you talking about? Why do you sit around all day coming up with this shit? First of all all nick is not going to do a different show he's making tons of money doing his show it was we're making money doing like our show you can watch you can actually watch i know that watching that clip you can make like wild assumptions like those guys hate each other but if you actually watch this or watch like the live show i mean everybody uh somebody in the discord clipped me a bunch Of Null being

Retarded But yeah you're right I don't even know if I want to play it today Dude like here's the other thing is like when you play it For some reason they go like See it really gets them that's why they had to play it And it's like no we're just playing it because it's crazy Because it's retarded

Then you guys are like biggest problem is ending Nick and Dick are going to do their own show Vito's going to quit And then they're all going to get sued Eric Gilles is going to sue all of them And then they're all going to have to get lawyers And it's not funny It's not funny

What they're doing to Eric Gilles is not funny It's not funny it's criminal harassment And it's not funny I don't know why everyone says it's funny Because it's not And then you say this And they go see they're coping and seething And you're like you can't

They're playing the you mad game Which everyone go, see, they're coping and seething. And you're like, you can't. They're playing the You Mad game, which everyone should vote up. See, they're really mad. Right now, we're furious. I've never seen Null so mad. Yeah. That's why we're laughing. Like, I don't even know how to address it because it's just like, you can't win. If you say something about it, you're coping and seething.

If you say nothing about it, they go, see, they're afraid to talk about it. I just want to know how many push-ups Null can do. Can you do more push-ups than Null? Not at this point. How many push-ups can... Don't say how many push-ups you can do. Have a number in your head. Sure.

Okay? Okay. Do you think it's more or less than the push-ups Null can do? I would think so. You think it's more? Has anyone shown a picture of Null? Because I assume the fact that there are no pictures of him that he must be.

It's a bad sign. He's got to be huge. He's got to be ashamed. Can Vito, the only question I'm interested in is can Vito do more push-ups than Null? We'll find out. That's the only thing that matters. I mean, that's the only thing that matters. That's all that matters.

I think if I stay on the path and drink less cranberry juice. Not what Nick Riccate is doing on vacation or who, when, where. I guess, yeah, just what drives me nuts are the conspiracy theories. Not who's gay. We know who is gay. Yeah. Let's see. Joe Cool for five.

Predicting a now Richard's White Jam gem will be killer keemstar. Can you guys stop naming the hardest guys to grab their friggin' gem? No one would ever have guessed I could get Eric July's gem. That's true. But I did. But Eric July was, he was exposed. ZetaQuinkSulfur2 says it's the spook, spookiest month of the year. Yes, it is.

Dr. Til for five, you should wear more pins and buttons to be flair. To be flair? That doesn't count. That doesn't count. Lloyd Lewin for 15 Australian dollars. One of the worst offenders of a guy handing something off to a woman was in the last Bill and Ted movie, where it turned out their daughters wrote the song that saved humanity

and not them. I didn't watch that shit. Oh, that was in the Bill and Ted 3? Face the Music. What is with that? I stopped watching halfway. I couldn't watch that shit. Oh, that was in the Bill and Ted 3? Face the music. What is with that? I stopped watching halfway. I couldn't see it. Nava down south for 10.

Eric can't handle random person on Twitter. Blocks them. But he thinks he gangsta hood rat can handle someone on the streets. Shred 2010 for 5. People gloat about sober October are obnoxious as heck. No one cares. Yeah, fuck you. Maxwell with $17.

I like that number. Vito, you are truly the best and always make me laugh. The one thing I disagreed with was your take on the Marvel trailer a few months back, the new Marvel's movie. I actually find Brie Larson TBF hot, don't you? Yeah. Good try. She's a good looking lady. Drunken

80s. We gotta see that. We gotta watch that. Yeah, I don't think it comes out till late. I know we gotta do another movie review. We gotta watch it ahead of time now. I tried to get out until next... I know we gotta do another movie review. We gotta watch it ahead of time, though. I tried to get you to watch Ahsoka. That would've got views. I don't give a shit about that Star Wars stuff. No one does. It's all just a mess.

Yeah, I know. That's why you watch it and make fun of it. It was okay. Drunk in a studio for five in solidarity with Vito, I've decided that I, too, will lose 30 pounds. Dude, you're not fat. You don't need to lose anything. G33X for five.

Vito should read and review the Sonichu comics. It shows the dangers of collecting too many video games, toys, and animes. Yeah, I have a sickness. David Gomez for two. Oh no, I made Richard cry. Zeta Quincel for two. Eagerly awaiting for Isom's Hellcat to be unveiled. Oh, he's getting that. He's getting that car.

David Gomez for two. Mint's thangs are long, not big. I don't care about her back. Bello Pants for ten. Vito, you're looking more muscular as of late. I disagree with that. Jose M for five. Love the intro, outro music. On the biggest problem on YouTube, where can I legally pirate that music?

I don't know. We got to make a tab on the website where people can download music and stingers and whatever else. Okay. You know, make them their cell phone ringtones or whatever. C. Villa for two. Is that Negan on your shirt? Oh, this is the Ultra Chad.

Gotta know what his name is. Koo for two. The Niggler set the intro to 449. Niggled again. Oh, he did. That fucker. We're going to do one more round of soup chats. Guys, thanks to everybody for coming by.

Don't forget to vote on all the problems, biggest problem of that show. Don't forget, patreon.com slash biggest problem and back.by slash biggest problem. We will do a bonus episode very soon. We have to figure out, did we ever figure out a theme? No.

Give us your themes. Did we ever do biggest problem on Halloween? No, but let's do it. That's not a bad one. Yeah. Let's see Jose M for $4.99 Eliza clips

and Rippertard gold posts are the gifts that keep on giving their purpose completely backfired on them What's Eliza? That's the person who keeps clipping

Null complaining about us Which again Null thinks that the reason I'm making fun of Eric July is because of cuties Yeah, that's part of it. They just have all these...

It's weird how they're all like little psychologists where they go, well, the reason they said this is because... Why are you guys single? Let's start there. Why are you single? It's like, maybe we're just doing it because it's funny or we think it's funny or we're in...

I've already told people, people are like, why did you ever care about Eric Chubb? Here's a question. I got two questions. Who can do more push-ups, Vito or Null? Second question. Would you rather be caught with a Kiwi Farms account or an account on a dog raping forum? There's the question. Which one is more of a turnoff?

Well, to women To whomever I don't know CG for five The famous farmer Who thought he could replace Like Chinese 70 Chinese rice farmers

With his knowledge I could replace like 70 Those Chinese back in the day Were like Oh yeah that's right I remember you saying that Probably like 50 IQ dude I could do the work of those guys

What about in Anywhere else on the globe? What was their IQ at? Very high. Oh, normal. Normal. Normal IQ. Clap trap the Destroyer for 10.

Late to the show, but here's money. Hey, this is best kind of late. Thank you. Is that a quick sell for two? When's the fat lady Godzilla shirt coming out? Soon. I got to get back to... I got to write Praske back.

Well, guys, what a great show. Nobody complained about me being sleepy, despite Dick's bullshit. You're like a wall when you're tired. It's like, silly buddy. No, this is great. We had a really great No, it's not good. This is the best kind of show, I think. I like when you're high energy. This was like... Nap time Vito is rough for me.

I think nap time Vito is a good change, you know? It's like hey, let's really do a reset. Let's really dig into some things. Whatever we had. We dig into my great novels. Yeah. My my excellent ideas about Harry Potter.

Here's one. Here's no. You want to hear this? I have a feeling and I could be wrong, but I kind of feel that when it comes to the maddox lawsuit uh-huh even if like dick is only making like half of what his patreon says i have a feeling with the lawsuit wait wait wait what did you hear that even if you're making only half of what they think your patreon numbers are fake they think the they think i'm putting fake credit cards into Patreon? Yes. And paying myself money?

Yes. And then paying Patreon 10% of that? Which would be the most convoluted... And then paying the government 50% of that because it would be on the 1099? Yes. It's a very bad money laundering scheme. And that's what is entertaining? People don't understand that podcast audiences are are just like want to listen to a podcast

every week and they will pay for it. So I fake credit cards. Right. Pay myself. You have to make hundreds of fake accounts. You have to get hundreds of fake credit cards. Let's just say I have to do one. Okay, one that's giving you six grand a month which would immediately be flagged. Well, my Patreon would be eight.

Eight or nine. So it would immediately be flagged by Patreon's trust and safety team because they'd be like, why did this guy? Let's say it's not. Sure. Get through my Patreon would be 8. 8 or 9. So it would immediately be flagged by Patreon's trust and safety team. Let's say it's not. Giving 9 grand. An unlimited money card that I can deposit 9 grand. I guess I get frequent flyer miles. That's always good. And then I'm paying 10% of that

to Patreon. Right. 2% to the credit card companies, whom I loathe. Right. And then I'm 1099-ing myself that money because Patreon controls 1099. When you could just buy, what, Bitcoin and put it in an offshore account. Okay.

And never touch it. Let's go and pass that one. Sure. I have a feeling that the lawsuit made him so much money from driving new people to his show that he made, he's one of the few people, I think he even said this literally word for word, that he's one of the few people I think he even said this literally word for word, that he's one of the few people

in the world who's made money from a lawsuit without winning monetary damages. And I have a feeling that if you were to ask... Is he saying that I'm provoking Eric July into another lawsuit on purpose to make money? I guess. But if you wanted

to provoke him into a lawsuit you would like do something that he could actually sue you for well i didn't do anything to maddox and he sued me i just made fun of them yeah and some scumbag took advantage of it's really hard to i mean it should be let's be clear nothing we did was a good way to provoke a guy into a like literally he was i had no idea he would be this retarded. Yeah. And he has the entire white griftosphere wrapped around his finger. We also couldn't plan for some random guy to email him and like

the amount of convolution this plan to get Eric July to sue us would involve. I just want to be clear on something. And I don't want to get sued. So if that's your secret plan. I didn't make money because Maddox sued me. I made money off of that because I'm entertaining It wasn't the lawsuit

The show was already making money before you got sued too right It obviously helped Every time you did something stupid Okay let's hear the rest of this I actually tried to estimate the actual damages of Eric July that has received from Nick Masterson

It's not enough to really justify a lawsuit. And if he did try to sue Dick, then Dick would make more money from Patreon and the content of the lawsuit than he would from paying his attorneys to defend him from the lawsuit. And even if he lost, he would still probably make lawsuit even if he lost he would still probably make from actual losses he would still probably make more money i think that he is now actually wording himself to try and get sued to give eric july enough of a case where he feels confident going into a lawsuit because dick has already done the math. You ran the lawsuit. To try and provoke that from him and make money from LOL lawsuit 2.0.

Don't you have enough money that you don't need to provoke lawsuits? I don't even know what he's talking about. Wouldn't you rather just like, and you have like projects that you're working on that could make way more money. It's very fucking annoying. Nobody is running secret calculus to go. If a crazy black comic book guy sues me, I'm going to monetize it through.

But first of all, there's no way to know that, like, that's going to get people to sign up for a podcast. You can say, yeah, it worked for Maddox, but Maddox was kind of a different, more ridiculous situation. I mean, he was more retarded than Eric. Eric's pretty fucking retarded, though. Again, these guys just come... Another one is just tedious.

Let's save it for another show. Again, these guys just come Save it for another show Again these guys just These guys just sit around and they go Oh no they're trying to secretly get sued And it's like Bro I don't want to get sued Dick if that's your plan it's a shitty plan Please stop but I don't think that's your plan Now it's in my head

We're gonna get rich by letting Eric July sue us. You're going to get rich. I guess. All right. I don't think that's true. All right, all right. If you want me to get rich, buy Super Killer. Show me the list of our top supporters.

Guys, one more time, don't forget, sign up at Biggest Problem, patreon.com slash biggest problem. Let me see what else I have on clips. As well as... Yeah, you got plenty of clips. I'm on your fucking show well no it's not it's about you though you're involved alright play another

clip he's explaining charity fraud on this one this is so obnoxious I don't know it's just very tedious to listen to people just be so blatantly wrong about your intentions and what you're trying like everybody always telling me like oh Vito you only say that because you want attention I'm like no i genuinely believe like bullshit you know current gripe is

that ripper ripped off the um right the a charity there was a okay again i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed spit it out but i tried to ask for some clarification uh-huh i spoke to a lawyer about this who a lawyer who is familiar with incorporating charities and non-profit law okay about what i assume to be the situation okay okay i've been informed to be the situation okay okay eric july sold his comic books for 35 dollars yeah already wrong um well that's apparently a lot for a comic book it's an independent publisher and you're trying to support the parallel economy sure sure pay a little bit more rippa wanted lot for a comic book. It's an independent publisher and you're trying to support the parallel economy. Sure. Why not pay a little bit more? RIPA wanted to support a comic book charity that gave comic books to, I believe, the purpose

of the charity was that they took comic books and they gave them out to children in hospitals. So kids are in sick beds. They need entertainment. So here's a comic book. And that's the purpose of the nonprofit. RIPA wanted to support the charity that will make you happy and he wanted to get free advertising which is why any any company in the world that supports a charity supports it to get free advertising and get their name out there sure and sell comic books right that's any company doesn't matter what the product is they're out there to promote themselves and also do a charitable

cause so it's like it's free advertising. It's a tax write-off. That's the point of it. So he sells his comic book for $17. And if you buy multiples, it's cheaper per book. So if you buy two comic books, it's $13 at the discount donation nonprofit rate. What do you mean it's cheaper to donate?

I'll keep listening. Dick alleges that this is fraud. There was apparently, because you could potentially order more comic books and get a bulk discount, that means that there is still a profit margin in the donated comic books that went to RIPA. Right. in the donated comic books that went to Ripa. Right. So he's saying that because you could buy multiple comic books and reduce the profit margin of the seller,

therefore Ripa was making money off proceeds that should be going to... No, I'm saying making money off all of it. He was making money before. All of it. Because I'm not retarded. I know how much a fucking comic book costs, like two bucks. The non-profit. He made profit.

I'm not retarded. I know how much a fucking comic book costs, like two bucks. The non-profit. He made profit. I'm pretty sure. I don't, number one, in literal definition of fraud, that's not true. That is not actually fraud. Where's the money? Where's the money then? As far as taxes go, there are some caveats to making money. Okay, so literally it's not fraud, but as far as taxes go, it might be. There's some caveats to making money. Okay, so literally it's not fraud, but as far as taxes go, it might be. There's some caveats.

So literally is less restrictive than tax-wise. Is that what I'm hearing? I'm pretty sure you can't write off operational costs on the IRS. Why people can't comprehend that we're like, I feel like... Where's the money? I feel like profiting off charity is immoral. That's it. I find it personally immoral to make money off charity. Yeah?

So why is that like people are like Well, literally it's not. Now legally, tax wise, it might be. I think it's a shitty thing to do. I think it's a shitty way to sell comics. I think it's immoral. What about the we think it's a shitty way to sell comics. Yeah. I think it's immoral.

What about the we pay half thing? Did you hear Eric say that? Yeah, he said we technically pay half. Yeah. All right. Let me hear the rest. Let me hear the rest of this. This is a lawyer, by the way.

There's a lawyer that told them this. You have to be careful with that. And as far as a moral thing goes, you know for a fact Dick Masterson does not care about the ethics of anything. Dick Masterson, Dax Herrera, Juju the Cow, would literally sell your child to be raped to death by Harvey Weinstein if it meant the biggest problem in the universe would be a TV show

and he could say that he got one TV show into production. Oh my god! He's seething! Harvey Weinstein didn't rape any kids, no. That was Epstein. He can't give me a TV deal. I'd have to give Harvey Weinstein a full growngrown woman. Keep your pedophiles straight.

What are you talking about? It's all the coping and seething. Everyone's coping. Can you hear that seething in his voice? That seething hatred? He has no morals at all. Not like me. I have more morals than anyone.

Well, I see that as an argument against you is that people go like, well, Dick doesn't actually care about a charity. Okay, so is there fraud or not? So just tell them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No more rules. Yeah, yeah. So is there fraud?

It doesn't matter if you actually do, but I think you do from what I've talked to you. And you said, no, this is fucked. You shouldn't do that. Listen to this seething hatred he has. Dick Masterson, Dax Herrera, Juju the Cow would literally sell your child to be raped to death by Harvey Weinstein. Raped to death by Harvey Weinstein. Raped to death by Harvey Weinstein! I don't believe that. Oh my god!

I don't think you would do that to a child. Raped to death for a TV show. I'm gonna sell your child for the... Yeah. Because a pedo would, Vito. People are saying the Patreon overlay is still up. Is that fine? I don't know if people want to see us.

I just thought Maniverse would be a TV show and he could say that he got one TV show into production. Even for one episode. I mean, I've had TV shows in production before. Also, that show's not getting made. We know that. It's kind of a good... Wait, was this...

Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Is this the response to me thinking Eric July pocketed 10 grand from his charity fraud scheme and was going to do 18 until I got involved? Don't call it charity fraud. Why? I mean, call it whatever you want.

Vito, what else would it be? I don't know any legal definitions. Neither do I. All I know is I find it immoral. Did someone profit from this or not? Does the charity deserve more money or not? Yes. So then what is it?

And he's also not the only guy doing it. I think everybody doing it should stop. Just give money to that charity. Was that the response to me suspecting someone's doing charity fraud is I'll sell your kids to get raped by Harvey Weinstein? Their argument is that you're not allowed to ever have any moral

stance against anything because in the past you've, I don't know, guess... What did I do? Made jokes about how you don't care about anything. Yeah, you're very upset by this. I can tell. You're not comfortable talking about this. No, no, I'm comfortable.

You're drawing frantically mazes and labyrinths. It is a pretty nice little labyrinth I drew. Yeah. It's just, I listen to these guys and I'm like, listen, I know you live in this like fantasy world where Dick is like this comical

Joker type character who cares only about chaos and madness. Yeah. But like, you guys get that's a bit, right? No, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing's a bit. Nothing's a bit.

Okay. Just one episode. He would sell children to Harvey Weinstein to be raped to death on Epstein Island if it would get his TV show. Wait, wait. Weinstein is raping kids on Epstein's Island? He's got, he's mixing up his sex criminals. Because he's getting so turned on describing raping kids that he's getting his steams mixed

up. How is that a defense of a guy doing charity fraud? He's just saying charity fraud? Actually, he would sell kids to be raped and he will rape kids. He'll sell kids to be raped on an island of Einstein, Weinstein

and Epstein are going to rape kids so he can get a television show just so he can say that he has a television show. Again, I'm I'm just. I don't. How much angrier could you be if you were angry? How would it sound? I just this all is weird.

Yeah. It's exhausting to have these people constantly coming up with new theories about why you do what you do. Yeah. And it's like, well, I genuinely think it's shitty that he made money off a charity. That's it. Yeah. Why does there have to be a secret motive for everything you or I do? Like, why can't it just be like, oh, well, I mean, like, yes, we hate us.

Part of the reason I dislike Eric July is I think he's a piece of shit asshole. And he's the kind of guy charged with multiple felonies. And he's the kind of guy charged with multiple felonies. And he's the kind of guy who would rip off a charity and you can't go, well, you already hated him. So now you're not only care about that. Cause he's an asshole. I can hate about other shitty things he does on top of the shitty things.

I know he's already done. Yeah. You can't go because you already hated him for one shitty thing. You're not allowed to hate him for another shitty thing. Yeah. You're biased against him for being shitty. And it's like, I don't think no would ever rip off a charity. I don't think the quartering would ever rip off a charity i'm annoyed with

what they say but i don't i wouldn't accuse them of it unless there was like something some kind of discrepancies they went on a show and started mumble fucking their way through an explanation and i thought it was fucked up before eric july did it because other comic creators have done it and i think i said things about it and then he did it i'm like oh now eric july a millionaire like again a guy who raised kids deserve that because before when it was like little tiny comic creators making like you know a little amount on their thing i'm like well it's kind of shitty but at the end of the day it's not like a big amount of whatever but then eric july a guy who's like a millionaire and could just give away literally hundreds of copies of his comic that cost him $2 to print. Put it on the freight. It cost him $2.50 to print it.

He could have just sent them a thousand copies and it would have cost him $2,000, which is like a drop in the bucket. But instead he got everybody to give him money to do it. I just like that any time. I know I'm just spending money talking about the same shit. The criticism that I give, the response is, well, he would let Harvey Weinstein rape kids. Yeah. Okay.

That's a good argument against you, I guess. You have his number? I'll get it. Let me text up Weinstein. Weinstein, you're in Hollywood. I'm in Hollywood. Look, buddy, I got some juicy kids for you. I know you don't fuck kids.

You fuck actresses, but you're missing out. Also, the idea that we are so morally bankrupt that we would let children be raped to get a TV show. Like, you guys know that's... I mean, I... I hope you're being hyperbolic. I hope that's like,

okay, I know they wouldn't actually do that, but it's like... Oh, he fucking knows it's not true. That's insane. Bell knows that's retarded. If someone said, I'm going to give you a TV show, but you have to, you know, let this kid get raped, I'd go, I'm calling the cops.

Yeah. What are you talking about? No, no, I don't want some, I mean, TV shows are fun and all, but like, they go for like, what, a season or two? Yeah.

You get a couple grand, it's not a big deal. And also, I feel like as I'm, you know, working on the TV show, in the back of my mind, I'd be like, hey, what about that kid

who got raped? I'd feel pretty bad about that. Why wouldn't I turn them in and then go to the papers and say, hey, everybody, I stopped a rape. These people, they're living in like a cartoon. Again, that's why this Eric July shit is like crazy. All these guys live in this cartoonish

comic book universe where they think genuine comic book villains exist. And that's us. We've been manifested into reality. We're Chadron or whatever the fuck. We're the big monster that killed that lady. The whole folder is full of this seething. I know, which is why I even get into it.

All right, all right. It'll go on forever because now they're going to clip this show and go, see, they're seething. They're mad. Look. They raised their voice Slightly And then you know It's just

It will never end Crossover It's crossover It's not good crossover You have to harvest Retards You have to I understand

It's just It's gonna be the same Arguments forever No no They start getting More amped up To sell children To make it in Hollywood

He's seething and he's mad. I just honestly, honestly, I look at the Kiwi Farms guys and I go, I feel bad for you guys. Like just, I know you're looking, you want justice in the world. I get it. You want bad people to be punished. You're obsessed with it. And you've decided, you know, we're bad people and we need to be punished and I would argue to you

we're just making a podcast no I'm maliciously you're maliciously interfering with a black man's business interfering with a business exactly by making fun of a comic book the world's not as interesting as people want it to be that's what it always comes down to

it's really fun to come up with ideas of like, after me and Dick end the show, we go, how can we destroy? It's just like, I gotta find a kid to send to Weinstein so he can take him to Epstein's Island. It's like, bro, when the show ends, I'm gonna drive home and I'm gonna pass out.

Like, there is no scheming. There is no behind the scenes. You might pass out before you get home. I'm a sleepy boy. Come on, that shit's funny. I want people to just live in reality for once, you know? Stop ascribing secret behavior to everybody. It's crazy. Yeah. Alright. Which is just me coping and seething.

Yeah, that is a cope. That's a cope. That's a cope. Alright, bye everybody. Thanks for listening. Copacabana She had flowers in her hair And I wasn't even there