The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 110

Episode Date: October 14, 2023

Counting Dead Kids, Game Stop, Pimples on Your Nose, Bad Neighbors

Does it fade the voices? I think it just has the voices going now. That's way too fast of a fade. So make it longer. I already faded. It's too late. We're trying to figure out transitions on the fly. Can't unfuck the intro.

It's already been fucked. It's already messed up. Everyone's already saying dead air. I want my money back. I want my money back. I want my money back. Give me my money back, you bitch. I didn't retweet it. Hold on.

I know that's a Ben Folds song. I know that's a Ben Folds song. I was doing it for myself. I was trying to remember. Don't fucking try to big league me. It was for me. And I have to say, I already knew that, but no one believes you if you already say you already knew it. No, I was trying to remind myself when I'm like, you know, what is that?

Hey, everybody, that song I was singing, a little obscure song by the name of Ben Folds' five band. I bet you guys didn't know that. A little obscure band you might have heard of called The Beatles. You know that Ben Folds wrote that song about an abortion? I don't know if you guys knew that. Which Ben Folds song is about an abortion? All of them. The one, the Angry Dwarf.

One Angry Dwarf. Yeah, a hundred angry faces are you. Yeah, I don't think that one's about an abortion. I'm big and I mean it. Grab your tweezers and squeeze it. Squeeze it. Squeeze it out that vagina too. Well, how's everybody doing?

How's your day of jihad? Oh! There it is. Cut it. How's your day of jihad? Were people really believing that sleeper cells were about to be activated across the united states because i was kind of hoping for it it'd be kind of fun come on man where's the jihad i gotta i gotta be honest when 9-11 happened it was an exciting day man it was like wow people met the

loves of their lives on that day intense like it was like speed one but with buildings coming down at 50 miles an hour or were you in high high school, I would imagine, at the time? College. College. Yeah. I was in middle school, I think. You know what? I'm going to do you a favor.

You tell this story about 9-11, never tell it again the rest of your life. No one gives a fuck. Well, I think I might have already told it. I don't know. Ooh, that's a bad sign. They tried to hide it from all the kids, but we were- Who's they? Be careful.

It's a day of jihad. Okay. The Jews who perpetrated it. No. The teachers. Asama al-Malaka. Because they wanted to tell us all at once. But me and my shit bag-

Grooming. Me and my shit bag friends went into the library and we just started printing out pictures of the fucking towers on fire. Of that guy going, ah! And handing them out at lunch. Yeah, we're like, look what the fuck's going on, dude. You needed a printout for that? Couldn't you just kind of take it around?

Kind of helped. Okay. And then at that point, they're like, I guess we got to tell them. Did you get in trouble? I don't know why they didn't. Extra, extra, extra, step right up, read our printouts. I don't know why they had a little period of we can't talk about it. It's like, just turn on the TV. Because they're 25 year old women, they don't know what the fuck's going period if we can't talk about it. It's like just set just turn on the TV Because they're 25 year old women. They don't know what the fuck's going on. That's their own country Just got terror bombs like I don't know what to do. Oh

Just let them watch people jumping out of burning building like that's what they want to see who cares We're here tell them hey kids You're gonna see a lot of shit after this. Guess what? None of it matters. Not a goddamn thing you see about this matters. You cannot influence it in any way. Don't waste your emotions on it. I remember one teacher was like, my brother's

cousin works in that building. He was freaking out. Of course, the guy was fine. He probably planted the explosives. Speaking of explosives, a lot of explosive situations on this week's show. No, that's not. The call to prayer

is $1,000 for to honor the... You can add up to it, but it's $1,000. We're going to get in trouble if we do it. To honor the day of jihad? No, no. To honor the day of jihad? Day of jihad? Say you honor the day of jihad? I don't want to honor the day of jihad? No, no. To honor the day of jihad? I do not want to honor that. Day of jihad? Say you honor the day of jihad? I don't want to honor the day of jihad. You honor the day of jihad?

Only for a thousand bucks will I honor the day of jihad. Then you honor the day of jihad. This is gonna be a, this is gonna be a show. I'll tell you what. I don't even know what I'm doing yet. I'll tell you what. I don't even know what I'm doing yet. Biggest problem. How bad could it be, you know? In the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe.

From concern trolling women's big jugs to plagues of blood sucking bugs. I'm your host, Dick Madison. By Don Juan. That was him. Yes. I'm your host, Dick Madison, by Dong Wan. That was... Yes! I'm your host, Dick Madison. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hi!

What's up, buddy? How you doing? You feeling jihadi? Feeling all... No, I'm disappointed. Jihad arena? I didn't get any jihad. You sad?

You got no jihad? What would be an acceptable amount of jihad for you? Not enough jihads. That's my problem for today. Blow up one Burlington Coat Factory factory one abandoned building. Yeah, one Religious themed building That's whole different Blow up a cheesecake factory, you know like something like that nothing with a baby funny playpen right on a McDonald's

Yeah Something that fat American slobs would go to. Blow up a Popeye's. No. That'll end the BLM. That'll end the BLM truce real quick.

Real quick. Everybody likes chicken. Come on. Uh-huh. That'll end that BLM party real quick. Speaking of black lives that matter. Air July? Because I know you're not talking about Air July. Well, all lives matter, of course, but one man's life currently hangs in the balance. Boy, did he really shit the bed.

As he faces the lawsuit of his life. What an idiot. For some stupid... Jesse Lee Peterson has a great quote for times like this. What is that? Have you ever heard or listened to him? I've heard him. He goes, He black. I don't know what he means by that.

Sometimes he's a minister, so he speaks in riddles. Couldn't mean anything. Jesse Lee Peterson though, he's a smart guy. It would be foolish for you to ignore him. So I piece this together in my head. For those of you who don't know eric july who again and if you remember the drama there's another isom corporation called the international school of ministry which is said we'd like by a really sweet guy it's nice it seems like a nice nice couple one of the ripa retards or ripatards as we call them, challenged them on their charity.

And the woman said, we've donated $9,500 to Israeli charities this week. Right. And I said, that's funny. When you ask them how much money they donated, they can tell you exactly how much and when and where it went. But when you ask Eric, you just get flim-flam and jiggery-jew. Well, the thing about when you put stuff on a pallet is the labor and the... All right. Wait a minute anyway Wait a minute

Can you please I know I'm so glad you have that queued up Save Jihad I did more Jihad Yes Oh Jihad on the ringtones I know

Jihad on the fucking notifications Vito I know Jihad on the sound Alright Jihad on the sound is still on Jihad I fixed it I put a Jihad on that Let me All right. Jihad and the sound is still on. Jihad. I fixed it. I put a jihad on that.

Let me finish prefacing what's going on for people who might be in the dark. I was saying I did more jihad today before 9 a.m. than terrorists did all day, it seems like. I don't think that's true. I totally fucking jihad destroyed Eric July last night. I did three hours of jihad. That's very good. I watched his 13-minute video, and I jihaded up and down and around. We found the grave of ISOM.

I'm aware. I know. We're going to get into all that. I just want to preface that this trademark dispute existed. Because of you. Shut the fuck up. You are the one that brought this on, Eric. No, no, no.

There's an international school of ministry. There's a comic called Ice. There was a dispute. They said they wanted to settle it amicably. Now, because of an inability for both parties to reach any sort of settlement, there's apparently going to be an act.

Well, there's going to be a lawsuit now. A lawsuit has officially been filed against Eric Chilai. Who's getting deep-dicked by the church? Eric! Rockstar Lawyers, did they steer him wrong? Well, apparently he had until October 10th to respond. To respond to an email. Those emails can be, sometimes I'll have an email that's sitting there for like a week, you know, or two weeks.

Yeah, but I think if the email is, I'm going to sue you if you don't respond to that email, you'll probably answer it, right? I mean, I would, but I don't do a lot of this stuff. Eric Geli decided not to. Eric Geli decided to play with Riley, play bunny money games and parking lot scissors with Riley, slap dicks together, call the police. Oh, I have the police report, by the way. I know, there's just so much. There's so much. It doesn't,

I'm like, how can this ever, it just keeps snowballing out of control. And now everybody's getting involved, all these different streamers getting pulled into it. There's drama. Eric's people are turning

on Nick Ricada. Nick Ricada's people are... Who's the Rippetards? Yeah. It's just a constant fight. Look at this police report that Eric called in. Is this against Riley? Yeah. Can you believe that he did that? I can believe it. Which part? I can believe that he did that? I can believe it Which part?

I can believe that he was He's stupid enough To be unable to laugh off A dumb prank You know, I know Eric called this in Because he gives his height as 5'11 Which is not true No, that's not correct

Eric DeWayne July I think Eric's like 5'8 Weight, 215. Yeah, in his bra. Stalking. Individual. So, I don't understand this at all. So, the cops said this might be stalking if he comes back.

No, they have to take your report. None of this matters. So, you could just say, I think it's stalking, and then they write it down? They have to write down what the report is closest to them, like what they understand it to be. Okay. That's not how Null took it, though. Well, I mean, I'm saying there's a warrant out for the arrest of Riley. Right, I'm saying there's no warrant out there.

Because Null never gets anything right. And the more he looks at normal people, the weirder he gets, the weirder he looks. Not one thing right. It does seem like Null should stop. Like, just say, I don't understand how the law works. I don't understand how humans work. How do the humans work?

The human police were called. The human police put out a warrant for the arrest of the bunny man. What did I just do? I just said, I don't really understand what this is. Could a person who understands it better Explain it to me, and then you explained it That's amazing

Whereas, you know, a certain Joshua fellow goes Oh, Dan, don't be doxing Oh, I'm sorry, am I doxing there? That's dirty pool, man Well, I just, I guess I wanted to say That the hilarious Take that, you want to say, take that, Eric I fucking ruined your business, I did it on purpose.

Don't put words in my mouth. It's not... That's what you said before the show. Shut up. I did not say that. What I wanted to say was, if you look at this situation from the outside, from a long-term perspective, okay? You're Eric July. A company long term perspective okay you're Eric July a company comes to you

I'm Eric July? I better get these sleeves off right now I gotta get my air arm out calm down Eric arm hair out a company comes to you and says we have a trademark dispute we'd like to settle it yeah

if you're smart you go okay let's figure this out in private yeah Eric July instead Ignored it Well he ignored it except for in relation to He blamed us Yeah he blamed us for it

And he made a big video about us and how we're responsible Right Right What did he gain from doing that exactly? Well guys like the quartering Like all the white guys who would blow Eric because he's black lined up and jacked him

off and said, Eric, anything you need. Whatever you need, Eric. Everyone thinks I'm racist. Whatever you need. We're bros, right? We're bros, right, homie? But he already had that. Yeah, but he's got to get more of it. I'm saying, it's not like he gained... I'm a victim

I do agree There's currency in victimhood And constantly painting yourself as They're trying to destroy They're not gonna apologize Cause none of them can ever admit they were ever wrong About anything It's like impossible

Yeah so I guess the one thing he gains out of it is a temporary boost of, they're trying to destroy my business. And everyone goes, well, you know what? I don't want them to destroy your business. I'm going to give you, maybe he sold a couple extra comic books that week. Is this how

excited you are? Man, I'm having the week of my life. Eric's shitting all over the place. He's fucking melting down. You can go nuts. Fuck him. I'm just being analytical about it. He fucked up. That's the analysis of it.

That's the thing is that if you just handled it like an adult, it would have been a much better outcome than I'm going to really shit on Dick and Vito, which actually just made more people go and listen to our podcast. Yeah. So he helped us. Right. And he hurt himself because he made the lawsuit worse for himself. Because I manipulated him into doing all these things.

Me using my powers of mockery and manipulation. Got inside his head. I manipulated Eric into making these blunders. I manipulated Eric into making these blunders, these unforced errors where he has blundered himself into a certain doom and bankruptcy. And I hope all his employees get sent to the Gaza Strip and starve to death because he can't provide for them with his shitty comic book.

I hope his grandpa Isam that he bases comic on gets sent to Recyc and he gets eaten and he his comic on Gets sent to Recyc And he gets sent to Gaza To go to Recyc To become nutrients for poor people In a concentration camp Legally Legally Legally

I hope Riley does it I know you're being hyperbolic I am not I think you did Through hyperbolic, but in a way... I am not. I think you did, through your own unique brand of chaos and whatever you want to call it... I caused it on purpose. Caused a strong black businessman to self-immolate. Oh, what a tough call that was. And it's just...

I'm not seeing, like... I'm not seeing any support for... Literally, not even anybody's like saying like I can't believe Dick and Vito did like there's a couple of you going oh this is all Dick and Vito's fault fatherless but I'm seeing all these other people just going well you probably should have handled it you should have

wrote those nice people back you should have and worked it out responded to their email at least you shouldn't have made a video Eric calling them fake Christians yeah that's not looking very good. I don't think he expected it. And again, then the guy from the ISOM ministry, Eric makes this big video where he goes, These fake ass busted Christians pretending they love the Lord.

They're doing crack. Doing crack. They're doing crack off the cross. Doing crack off the back of Jesus. Jesus Christ. And then the guy from ISOM comes out. He's just like a really nice, normal guy. And he's like, hi.

Like way beyond normal. I felt bad. I'm like, oh, man. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I'm sorry that I had to manipulate that person into destroying his own life through hubris and mockery. Sure. I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I bet you understand because I am the hand of God. It just looks, the optics are terrible

for eric because he goes from being like look at these fake fucking christians trying to destroy my business and they're like hi we just donated a bunch of money to help you know immigrants israel or whatever and we just you know really not happy about that but you know we gotta okay well i'm sure we're gonna get into that at some point. Why don't you put that source behind us? Just drag it down beneath the cams. What? Yeah, like there. Because then the cams are all jagged.

Use the overlay I sent you again today. I fucking don't have time to do all this stuff every day! Fuck! I'm just saying it would make your life easier than trying to... It would not make my life easier! It would. Okay. And then you can drag it wherever you want. Hi, Dr. Beren Gelflund here. Um, I just

want to speak to Eric July and, um, to all the Ripperverse fans. What a horrible fake Christian. There's a tremendous, uh, tremendous people out there that, uh, that love this comic book. Oh, man, he seems like such a nice guy. We're not against... This guy's the ultimate enemy of the

Ripperverse. Isom's going to rip his fucking head off. That's been done in the last year and a half with Isom 1 and Isom 2. He's got this cute little Irish accent, too. You just want to be friends with him. Add some humanity to this whole equation.

Oh, that's a very old guy. Dude, Eric filmed an entire WWE wrestling promo against this guy. He didn't even say what it is once. Eric July basically made an entire, this busted-ass

fool is about to get some legal shit shoved down his motherfucking busted throat! And then his response is, hi! Now, we have been in negotiation, He's got his mo' fucking busted throat. And then his response is... Go down the legal route. Now, we have been in negotiation, and we had put a deadline. We made a proposal.

Eric, you didn't just... People came back to us with... Pause this real quick. A counter sort of proposal. A counter sort of proposal? So doing the WWE promo against us, that was on brand. I get it.

Yeah, you can't do that. Fuck Vito. I'm like, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't very good at it. No, and it didn't work, and everybody went like, well, who sent that? Yeah, whatever. You can't do it against this guy.

It definitely does not work here. This busted-ass cracker fool tried to destroy my comic book because he don't like the black man. Well, I just wanted to add a little bit of humanity to this discussion. So, yeah, there's an entire rip-a-verse response from the International School of Ministry. And did you hear Eric July's reason

why he deserves to own ISOM? Because it's his great, great, great, great grandpappy Fort Knox ISOM? Fort Knox ISOM, that was his name? Yeah, so he deserves So why has he never brought that up ever?

When was he gonna? Because it's gay. I thought Wouldn't that be something where like this thing's been going on for like a year and a half Uh huh And people are like well why is he called Isom Yeah but like I thought your self insert With your friend

I thought that was Gay and cringe I thought that was gay But then when Eric said that It didn't start off as that And then I was like you know what I could make like some slight alterations It's not real It's like you know It I could make like some slight alterations it's not real

it's like you know it looks exactly like it doesn't look exactly like the same name no it's not the same okay the guy had already drawn a bunch of pages and I basically told him hey can you just put glasses on her because my friend used to wear glasses and that was it okay whatever

it's a nice little thing I did for my dead friend Okay But then I saw Eric named his character After his whole family tree And I said Oh I didn't even know what gay was Until now Is it just Isom?

No the parents His whole The whole family Altona And all that shit Why didn't he watch his video? Because I can't It's so funny

Dick I've gotten He gets so angry dude He starts like Frothing and He's like That's the name Atona That's the sister Basically I saw him

As my family They're trying to Take my family away It's like a It's like a fucking Deleted scene from Roots You know how some people Can't watch The Office

Cause of It's how cringe it is You know Yeah yeah yeah And they feel embarrassed For the actors Yeah That's you

I've gotten to that point with Eric July where I'm just like, What's wrong with you? Come on! This is like when, that's like an IDF soldier saying, like, I just don't want to shoot any of these kids. Now that we're finally in here, we can do whatever we want. I don't even feel,

shooting kids is cringe. I don't even want to do it. I skip around in it, you know? I just can't listen to that guy talk for more than a minute. I listen to it like three times. Oh, yeah. Here's the part where he gets all upset. The thing about Sonic is some Sonics have hot dogs, and some Sonics are hedgehogs. Hedgehog, hot dog.

That's two different things. And I'm like, all right, man, sure. Wait a minute. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. This is why. Hold on. This is Eric July explaining how trademark law works.

All right. And how brands can coexist, right? Yeah. Great. Hedgehog. Hot dog. That's different. They're different.

Step on the frog! I'm outta here. Good night everybody! Alright, here you go. Sonic is the name of a fast food company and it was founded long before even my own mother was alive. Yeah, okay. As indicated in their name and slogan,

they were about fast service. They of course became known for items like the chili Cheese Coney. Sonic is also the name of a video game hedgehog that runs extremely fast. Ironically, he is also known for eating Chili Dolls.

It's not irony. Yet even the Sonic Corporation and Sega Sonic can coexist. They are in two completely different industries and they both sell merchandise with their brand of Sonic. Look, guys. Look, guys.

If there can be a fast hedgehog who eats a hot dog, and there can be a fast hot dog place to eat, then there you must acquit. You must acquit. You must share Where did Sonic eat the hot dog Is it ironic that Sonic eats hot I don't think that's ironic No it's not ironic at all Correct

I also brought up I actually think that if Sonic Drive Thru at any point Had said you know what we think Sonic eating chili dogs Is going to cause brand confusion, I think they would have had a very excellent case. No, they wouldn't have. I think so. That's retarded. Sonic can eat anything he wants.

Hamburgers, turkey. I thought Sonic might have something to do with the restaurant. Well, the law isn't for reasonable retarded kids. It's reasonable adult men. Would a reasonable adult It's not. Would a reasonable woman Would a reasonable woman think this is

okay? I mean, I have no way to know that. What about a reasonable man? Oh, yeah, no. You're probably right, but the other point is also that even if they had thought there was a trademark dispute, they're like, well, it's like a fun children's character. He's not calling people to N-word, is he, on that show?

No. So there's nothing to really worry about. Even if there was some sort of brand confusion, it's character. He's not calling people to N-word, is he, on that show? No. So there's nothing to really worry about. Yeah, we don't care. Even if there was some sort of brand confusion, it's not the guy who attacks Eric Glyceff for now, or what? You tell me. You're the one giving a whole recap of it.

Look, I know we're in the thick of the whole thing. Sometimes people don't know exactly what's going on. I know we're in the thick of the whole thing. Sometimes people don't know exactly what's going on. Yeah. I know you're obsessively going through every piece of Eric July whatever that comes along. Yeah, but you gotta get to the funny parts. Not like defending yourself. You gotta catch people off.

You're fixated on defending yourself over and over. Like, I don't want... Even your stream about it, you're like, you know, I don't even want anything bad to happen to him. I'm like, I fucking do. I hope he gets run over by a fucking forklift. Okay, but I don't want him to get run over by a forklift. He called you a pedophile. Yeah, that's true.

What would Israel do? I don't know what Israel would do. Imagine if Israel just treated Hamas the way you treat Eric July. They would just let them back in the country. They would knock down the walls and break up the concentration camp and say, let's figure out a way to live together. Then where would we be, Vito? Peace in the Middle East? I don't think, would you like that?

I don't think you'd like that very much, would you? This is going to be a whole Hamas episode. It's just all Hamas. Here's the thing. Dick, I've already gotten everything I wanted. I knew, actually, I couldn't write. I knew his comic book was bad. All his friends went, no, it's good.

It's the best comic ever. He's the next Stan Lee. He's going to establish an entire parallel economy. And now everybody knows that's not true. Now he's going to get his ass handed to him in court. And he's going to get his family name taken from him by a white man.

A rich white man's going to take Eric's family name from him. The point is... You're not allowed to use that. It's mine. Only I am allowed to use your family name. You dumb fuck. The point is, I don't need Eric July to lose all his money. And we're in your way of this, motherfucker.

I don't need him to get hit by a forklift. You should have been grateful for that athletic scholarship that we gave you. I don't need him to get hit by a forklift I just wanted I just hate the mass delusion Of like weird Conservative libertarian cope of like We're creating great art And you know we're going to create a parallel economy And it's all been exposed

And I was completely right And I'm Yeah I was right Oh I'm sorry okay you know what yeah I want him to get his arms and And I'm, that's all that matters. Yeah, I was right. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, you know what? Yeah, I want him to get his arms and legs blown off. That's better.

Do you want him to look crispy like that fake AI baby that Ben Shapiro posted? I don't even know if that was fake. There's so many fucking conflicting things going on. Oh, yeah, okay, wait, wait, who won? Mosquitoes won. Yay, that was you. Someone always says the sound effects are delayed or off on this show. Yeah. But they're not.

I just don't say it at the correct time. You just say it on top of the drum roll. Yeah. I just don't wait for it. Someone's always like, well, why are the sound effects always messed up? Time-wise, they're not. I'm just saying it to be annoying you wrong you coincide with the the symbol crash you know just don't wait for the

crash to end yeah i think that's fine yeah to hit it on the crash boob boob truth there's number two so i came in dead last with everything sex tour tourism that was you sober october your shitty sober october problem did whatever halloween he's named dumb yeah all the dumb name fucking Your shitty sober October problem Whatever Halloweenies Named dumb Yeah all the dumb names All the fucking Christian Influencers Whatever people

Keep coming in the comments Going Oh Vito doesn't respect My faith Yeah I guess not I respect it in so far As like look As long as you're not

Taking it literally What about the ISOM guy Do you respect his faith Which guy What the fuck Do you mean the superhero? Oh, the guy. Exactly! Exactly!

Fucking exactly! It is confusing. You see all the people in Eric's comics going, well, as a Christian, shame on them. It's like, oh, so there is brand contagion. Because you're a Christian, so you would be fans of both. I see. It's a lot to process. I mean, you know, again, Nick Riccata said the lawsuit might have merit.

In fact, he was directly cited by this guy. I said it had merit day one. I went through the whole thing and said, this is why. Do you want to play that clip? It's a pretty good clip. It's on my... All right, we'll play it later. All right.

It's Veggie says, Vito's knowledge of nutrition is comical. Look, I got Gatorade zero. Good job. Thank right. It's Veggie says, Vito's knowledge of nutrition is comical. Look, I got Gatorade zero. Good job. Thank you. What's in it? I emptied it out and I replaced it with just regular lemonade. With syrup. With syrup.

I knew it. People on the Facebook group were fact-checking the various calorie counts of different cranberry juices, and I'm like- Yeah, because you're totally wrong. I didn't say it was good. I just said it's not that bad it is that bad it's all sugar it's like 25 grams of sugar to nine and that's in one serving 25 grams of sugar is not that much dude you're gonna lose this Vito loses weight

no shit I know well you had six what six months six weeks six months six fucking months to lose 30 pounds! There's been a lot going on. There has been nothing going on! There's been a lot going on. What, Eric? July getting made fun of that you're not even happy about? I am happy about it.

It's fun. I like that. I'm not going to make excuses, okay? Because it's no point. Everyone's just going to pick it apart. People deserve an explanation for your behavior. And your results. Your lack of results. I've been so uh. And your results, your lack of results.

I've been so stressed out about the situation between Palestine and Israel. It's just been weighing on me. Who did a worse job? Veto losing weight. One in the chat for veto losing weight or Israel protecting its borders from Hamas. Who did a worse job? Look, even if I didn't lose the weight, I'm going to say I've developed some healthy habits. But your healthy habits are all bullshit.

It's like, oh, I counted all the meat. I ate only white meat this week. I ate only white meat. They don't make any fucking sense. King Europe says, God forbid. Make sure to eat a banana with every meal. See, that doesn't mean anything. No, because the banana clogs up your fucking throat.

I'm just going to make up diet tips. You have been doing that this entire time. We need a new stinger, Vito's diet tips, and I'll just fucking make some shit up. Vito's diet tips.

Yeah. The thing about spaghetti is if you eat it one noodle at a time, your body digests it quicker. If you ate spaghetti one noodle at a time, you would lose weight.

All right. Well, there you go. Yeah. God forbid I have a tiny bit of sugar. Vito on being told he's drinking 25 grams of sugar. Zero. That was the one time I was sick. Yeah, but you replaced it with other Gatorade that you

probably boiled to get rid of the water so it's more sugar. It's the regular zero calorie Gatorade. I put my Gatorade on the stove for three hours and boiled the water out. I'm experimenting with different weight loss. Okay. Vito knows nutrition like Eric July knows writing.

That was Orion True. Onion Desu, Vito's nutritional advice is the exact same as my obese aunt who has continually been on a diet since I've been alive and has only gotten fatter. What do you think about that one? Yeah, I'm a good guy. Rev4615 says, Dick's interpretation of how that white guy tripped over a bench upon encountering a black kid at night.

Jesus Christ. That bit was too much. What do you mean? The Dick Van Dyke music for the guy getting stabbed in the head. I already said I Like, I already said I laughed. I already said I laughed, but...

Who's Israel in that situation? The black kid with the knife or the white guy who attacked him? Possibly for gay sex. We don't know.

That other guy that got killed by a black guy was turned out to be raping him. Yeah, the one who... When he was underage. The white guy

was raping... So, you never know. Or you do know. It's probably, it's probably rape. Okay. Sarah says, thank you for having

Andy's back, guys. Heart. Mmm. Vito saying, hocus pocus, and immediately following it with Salem's Lot was hilarious.

Quite the leap. That was pretty good. I was talking about the pipeline to horror movies to demonic possession. Yeah, okay. Anything else you got? I honestly have so many fucking clips, but I don't even care. Well, I've prepared a little segment.

Oh, what do you got? Hold on. Let me preface this real quick. So me and you, we both use the platform known as Twitter. Yes. Yes. And Twitter has a function where if a certain individual bothers you or is pesky or spamming you, you can block that user. Okay.

And every week I get messages from people saying, Dick Masterson blocked me. Right. What do I do? Kill yourself. Can you help me? There's no light without my witticisms for you. So I've created a segment. Okay.

Which I call. Which one? That one. This one? Yeah. I don't know what I call this. Dick Masterson. Blocked you like a hurricane.

Oh, okay. All right. Blocked you like a hurricane. Oh, okay. All right. Blocked you like a hurricane. Dick Masterson blocked you like a hurricane. He's blocking everybody. Yeah. Now on this segment,

people who have been blocked by Dick have the ability to petition to be unblocked. Okay, no. Well. I'm like the Pharaoh in Israel to be unblocked. Okay, no. Well. I'm like the Pharaoh in Israel in the days of old. I think that maybe these voices might be able to warm your icy heart. Yeah.

Or temper your hot heart needs to be iced. Okay. Or perhaps your icy heart needs to be warmed. Right. Today's contestant is a guy you might know as lofty pixels oh no who is lofty sent us a voicemail where is it uh that one right there this is lofty pixels hey big dick what's going on so look i block i don't like it already on twitter also right i get it i understand but here's the

problem i'm kind of retarded okay i'm not actually retarded right you know what i mean like i may have trolled you one too many times on twitter i'm kind of annoying on stream but i'm not actually fucking retarded dude like you know just like nick ricada's nose is not actually the size of montana just like how veto is not a tiny little guy in a fat suit right well he's just you know he's actually fucking enormous i have not listened how it is and look i'm not gonna get butt hurt if you lofty block me like what am i gonna do go cry and blow my brains out and upload it to palestinian twitter longer than i thought it's not that big of a deal right and why would you trust lofty to make a good big guns be by guns shia and suny come together do a line of coke with hunter biden supervising and let's just you know let's just have a good day okay

all right well after after listening to that i think i'll tell you what i'm gonna do veto what are you gonna do i'm actually gonna block you gonna do? I'm actually gonna block you Well for all of you keep complaining that dick has blocked you eat shit you can't say that that I didn't try Lofty you gave it your effort you a kill yourself wrote a little monologue, I guess And that is blocked you like a hurricane doingologue, I guess. And that is Blocked You Like a Hurricane. Do you want me to play it again? Yeah, play it again. Why not?

Dick Baskin said, Blocked you like a hurricane. So our verdict is Locked Picking Around loses. You got blocked as well. You can't win this game. Blocked you like a hurricane. He's blocking me. We'll see who the next contestants are. You've got to try harder.

That was a terrible... That's why you got fucked. I don't have time to waste with this shit. You've got to come in hot. You've got to really get us on the hook. Here's my problem for the day of Jihad. It's bad neighbors. We all have to deal... Bad neighbors. We all have to deal.

Bad neighbors. We all have to deal with bad neighbors. We got to work it out, you know? We all have to. They're horrible. Okay. Thanks, Mr. Rogers. Your neighbor.

What makes a good neighbor? Fences, right? Big fences. Okay. Neighbors can be so bad. Big fences. They let their dogs. They throw their dog poop in your garbage can.

They're too loud sometimes. Their fucking kids are screaming at each other like 7 a.m. on Saturday. All the time. A lot of screaming kids. Kids could be screaming for many reasons. Maybe they're barbecuing. Maybe the kids are all excited about a barbecue, and that's why they're screaming so much. When you're not looking, they mash up all your tunnels underground for no reason.

They get the fucking king of Babylon to throw you out of your own homeland and just shove them there. I don't know if that's a neighbor thing. They start building on your yard. I'm going to put my shed right here. I got some nephews coming over. They're going to sleep right in this shed that I'm putting on your yard. What are going to put my shed right here. I got some nephews coming over. They're going to sleep right in this shed that I'm putting on your yard. What are you going to do about it, pussy? It's a common neighborly problem.

And you say, what the hell, man? What the fuck? They cut off your power? They could cut off your power at any moment. Bad neighbors, you know? And then the whole block's getting involved. Oh, you got to fight down the block. We got to get involved. If they start fighting, fight down the block. We got to get involved. This could affect.

If they start fighting, I don't know. Other neighborhoods want to intervene to make sure that your dispute does not spill into their neighborhood. Cops could show up. Other cops from another neighborhood are like, hey, this is our territory. We're the cops here. Different jurisdiction. We're the fucking cops. We're the FBI.

We're the fucking cops. We'll show you. We'll get in a fight. And all of a sudden, now you got two towns. Hatfields and McCoys man I feel like this is a more complex situation That you're maybe Nope Boiling town into a

Very simple Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Yeah Can't Can't Can't do a lot of stuff What if your neighbor

Can't just live together Your neighbor might hang up a flag You don't like you know I gotta shoot that shit down One of your kids goes cause problems in their house And they're coming over alright how am I gonna fight you Fight me what the fuck This guy's just staying in my house What are you gonna fight me for

You know hits a baseball Goes through your window Then you you know throw the baseball back. I throw the baseball right at the kid. I'll show you who fucking throws a baseball wham right between the eyes dead. Then you gotta build a big baseball shooting out of the sky machine

to prevent all the baseballs. Then they take all my baseballs. I gotta dig a tunnel to go to Dick's Sporting Goods to get more baseballs. All of a sudden I'm in a baseball war. Praying to Babe Ruth. Babe Ruth, I'm going to fucking, I'm going, man. I will never stop hitting and throwing baseballs for you, man.

I'm in a baseball war. You're the babe, man. I'm in a baseball war. They think Hank Aaron's so great over there. I'll fucking show them who's the great Bambitas. And meanwhile, you know, you've been training your kids to play baseball. They've been training their kids to play baseball.

Their kids play all dirty. It's like a Bad News Bears type situation. It's American League and the other one, National League. Yeah. They don't even... I thought you were going to say... Palestinian League. The Unward League or whatever it is. What? Back in the day, you know, who was the guy who played in the...

Fuck, you remind... I mean, nothing reminded me of this. I just thought of it out of nowhere. This guy? Did you see this guy? Yeah, see, I was wondering... When you asked... Because you took too long.

When you asked if there was... Because you took too long talking, setting it up, so I didn't get to give my story of... When you asked if there was any other Eric Gilles stuff. Oh, this is an Eric Gilles stuff. Is this the original I song? I'm the original I song. I'm Eric Gilles. Great, great grandpappy.

Avery Knox. I'm Avery Knox. Eric Gilles. Great, great grandpappy. I'm here from time. I'm Avery Knox, Eric Gillespie's great-great-grandpappy. I work at a – I'm here from time. I work at a warehouse. What's my – I heard my great-great-grandson's doing great things. Yeah, he's doing real good. Everybody who's listening to just the podcast, I have a see-through-the-mouth-face thing

that I'm doing of actual Eric Gillespie's great-great-grandpappy. Avery Knox. Avery Knox. Avery Knox. I accidentally saw this before the show, and I was so like, Avery Knox. Why are we doing this? Why didn't,

because it's the day of Jihad. Vito, don't you know nothing? So you're, this is Eric July's grandfather. This is an actual, great-great-great-great-grandpappy. Who I saw him, the comic character,

named after. I saw his father, Avery. Okay. Don't get it. Don't fuck it up. Oh, that's Avery. Don't fuck it up now, Vito. Avery Knox.

Don't fuck it up now. Avery Knox. Oh, man. So who do you think owns the trademark? Well, I'm from a time when black people don't really own anything. My people aren't allowed to own anything. My people don't really own such things. We am. My people aren't allowed to own anything. My people don't really own such things. We're more on the receiving end of the owning.

So actually, it's definitely not me. If I had to put my learning to the grindstone, so to speak, I would say not me. What's wrong with the bit, Vito? I'm just a man coming through time to speak to you about what tales that I could tell you which. Oh, man. And you tell me my great grandson's doing well, is he? He's doing very good. Oh, that's good.

I bet he's got a respectable job. Not like the boys in my time who just danced gaily. Prancing around something silly, getting into silly fights about bunnies and stuff. He's been doing some amount of dancing. I hope only the Lord's dancing. I hope only dancing. I hope dancing's true. He's actually in a dispute with the church.

With the devil. He's fighting with a dispute with the church. He's fighting with the men of the cloth. What? Oh, no! The church has been infiltrated by demons, I suppose, then. See, men in my day, you know, the funny pages

have been taken over, actually actually used to be charlie brown was wonderful my favorite comic strip then they introduced that dirty franklin all right i disavow this pit on every level oh my fucking god eric's grandfather, Avery, was great-grandfather. Great-grandfather. Oh, grand. Get the grand-papa. Great-grand-papa. That's Avery, the great-great-grandfather of Eric July.

See, you can't see in the picture, but I don't have sleeves on this shirt either. What? I like to get my arms high up. You want to leave your arms I also have arm Shoulder hair Vito That runs in the family That's something passed down

From generation to generation The hair is actually passed down Why am I indulging this bit From generation to generation The actual arm hair We take it out in a special process And put it on the babies That's what we do

This is just a generic southern accent by the way It's not racially intinged at all It's only a southern accent Could be a white guy, who knows Don't you think that my haircut looks cool? Some people say that I look like a gentleman by the name of Hitler Now can you tell me No, no, I don't think you look like Hitler

You do have a very short mustache That's just my shoulder hair. I'm keeping it here to keep it warm. You keep it above the lip. Because it's cold where I live. Well, Mr. Avery Joy. Because Israel cut the electricity off for hell. What do you know of Israel?

Aren't you in the 1910s? Oh, I can't say, Mr. Vito. I can't say. Guess what? They've been fucking around since the B.C Oh, I can't say, Mr. Vito. I can't say. We have, guess what? They've been fucking around since the BC times. No, no, no. So I was talking about Palestine. Can you dig it?

All right. Yeah. The Persians at this point. Uh, what? Who is in that? No, Palestinians, you dick brain. You don't know fucking shit about the struggle you're talking about. Was it Palestine back then?

Still Palestine and Jews, dummy. Yeah. Don't you know? You need to read a book just like my son does. My great- I don't know what time period you're from. You literally know nothing about Palestine and Israel, do you? I'm aware that-

Who started it? Let's start there. Everybody started it. The United Nations started it. The United Nations- The Potsdam Declaration started it. Of Babylon, maybe. Well, I'm talking about in the post-World War II, right?

No, I'm talking about literally 500 BC when Cyrus the Great said, Hey, Palestine, you got to let the Jews back in. But they didn't. Did they? They did for a little bit. Okay. And then they kicked them out again. Well.

And then we put them back in. No, then it was Napoleon who put them little bit. Okay. And then they kicked him out again. Well. And then we put him back in. No, then it was Napoleon who put them back in. Oh, okay. He said, you know what? He's a neighborly kind of guy. He's a good neighbor. He's like a good neighbor. Napoleon is there.

Then the Brits, I think, came in. Balfour said, you guys have got to make this. You guys have got to make Israel. We're fucking really tired of this shit. Yeah. We got to put these Jews somewhere. Then a bad neighbor Israel. We're fucking really tired of this shit. Yeah. We've got to put these Jews somewhere. Hitler came in and said, well, you guys are going, you're letting them back, or else.

Where do we put these Jews? And Hitler went, I got a solution. We went, no, no. We've got to give them a place. I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to say what you just said. I'm saying Hitler was the bad guy. Maybe I gave him a comical... Bad neighbors.

Bad neighbors. Bad neighbors. That's my problem. Okay, well... Problems there... Because their problem isn't just with themselves. It's also everybody's fucking problem to deal with it. Sure.

I mean, I identify... I understand what you're saying. Don't you think Isam's... Isam's dad was fun? I don't under... Okay, so I didn't watch the video. If Isom's dad was fun? I don't understand Okay, so I didn't watch the video If his grandfather's name is Avery Why would you watch a video that you've been doing a comedy show on for six months

It's fun for you to explain it It's fun for you to explain it I can ask you questions now You have information I don't have And you can explain to me And that's interesting But I don't remember Alright, well that's a. But I don't remember.

Alright, well that's a good argument. Eric July based the Isom. But I'm saying why is Isom the name, so why does that help him with his trademark dispute if his grandfather was named Avery? That doesn't help. Was his grandfather named... Actually, I know a thing or two about trail marks.

Is that what he says? Trail marks, yes. Do you remember the trail marks? No, he just flipped out and threw a big tantrum that he feels like he's in deservement of it because it's his great-great-great-great-grandpappy's name. But Avery is his grandpappy's name. Avery is the father of Isom Knox, I think. Okay.

And we found Isom's gravestone. It's not illegal to put a stuffed bunny on a gravestone. Please don't do that. Why? It's just a rock. It's not illegal to. Is it illegal to put a bunny on a grave or to have gay sex on a grave? Which one do you want, Vito?

Don't do either of those things. Well, we have to do one! No, we don't. Okay, then we're picking at random. If you're not going to decide, then we're picking at random. Why are heads and tails the only two options? If it's a head, it's gay sex. If it's tails, it's a bunny.

So if you're not going to pick, then I guess we're going to pick at random. It could be either the gay... It could be the gay sex. Okay. Okay. Don't have gay sex on Isam's grave. So put a bunny on Isam's grave, you're saying. Okay.

It's the only two options. Good decision. You heard it from Vito, everyone. Oh, we're going to hell. And you know who's going to be in hell, Dick? Well, these horrible people who have been killing all these kids Because that's the only hood yeah, well. That's the problem dick is Pretending to care about dead kids cuz it gives a shit who cares

At this point. It's like there's so much going on you could show me like a million dead kids and I go yeah Well, yeah, we got Yeah. We got every issue. Don't you think you should weigh them? Like instead of the count, they always have the body count. Yeah. Shouldn't they weigh the kids to see who's- Yeah, like what mass of children was killed? Yeah.

Look, I don't want to kill kids. What do you want to do to them? Nothing in general. But you want to very specific. I don't want to do anything to them. Nothing. In general. You want to be very specific. I don't want to do anything to kids. I'm just saying every issue for some reason seems to come back

to whether or not there's dead kids. Somebody killed kids. The immigration debate. You had to watch a bunch of kids crawling through a barbed wire. I could have killed that kid. Do you know how many kids die coming over the border? Do you remember there was this story where this girl died coming over the border? And you're like, well, what happened?

And it's like, well, she came over the border and her dad didn't tell anyone she was sick. And the second that she found out she was sick, they mobilized a helicopter to try to get her to the hospital. That's a very specific story. Well, I just remember everybody being really mad about it. I'm like, wait, so you're telling me the second she got into our country, we mobilized a fucking helicopter to try and save her life? Sounds like we're the good guys.

Yeah. Anyway. Should've mobilized a paraglider. Wee-er. Dee-dee-dee-dee. Did you see that I put the paraglider attack to the A-team theme Congrats It makes it look really cool

It makes it look better than what they had You should be editing videos for Hamas If Hamas gave me 500 million dollars It would be a whole new ball game They're getting a lot of crypto money They're getting a lot of crypto donations You need some marketing

They're getting funded Tips, Only consulting. Only consulting. So we gotta worry about immigration, because kids are gonna die. We gotta worry about war, because kids are gonna die. We gotta worry about abortion, because kids are gonna die. And, uh,

we gotta give up our guns, because if we don't, kids are gonna die. Every issue, I just go, you know what? I'm not a kid. Am I going to die? No. So what do I care at this point?

Yeah, but they're killing kids. Who is? Israel and the other guys, but mostly Israel. Why mostly Israel? Because they're better at it? Well, yeah, I guess. They just got better shit. So that's not it.

It's not like they're specific they're just like we got better missiles so more kids are gonna die that's it I mean that it's not really a good if you guys had good missiles too you could kill just as many kids as Israel okay that's your fault okay if you're mad you think it's unbalanced okay then you should have spent more time you know figuring shit out I don know, building, getting allies to give you free missiles. Making friends with all the missile-making countries. But you don't want kids to die, right?

No. I don't, not, you know. Not really, or what? Well, I guess I just have been indifferent to it, you know? Okay. Like if somebody told me, hey, like a hundred kids died because, you know, they fired a missile at a bunch of kids, I'd go. Who fired the missile?

I don't know. The Norway. What? I'd go, those fucking Norwegians. Why are they fucking around? I just picked one out of a hat. Okay. I guess I just.

Of all the countries you picked randomly and you picked an extremely white country, I don't believe you. Okay. Nambia. Okay. Namibia, perhaps. Namibia. Yeah. Is that an extremely white country? I don't believe you. Okay, Nambia. Okay. Namibia, perhaps. Namibia. Is that how it's pronounced? I don't know.

I'm not the pronounced guy. Argentina. How's that? Argentina starts killing kids. Okay. I guess I just see Ben Shapiro posting a bunch of- That chicken nugget that he got. Whatever the fuck that was.

And then everybody got mad at me because I retweeted it. He's like, look, they burned these kids. And I retweeted it. I'm like, those are kids? I don't know what the fuck that is. Everyone's like, Vito, you're being very insensitive. Those are dead, burned kids. Yeah.

And I'm like, well, I don't even know if that's true. And if it is, I don't really care. I mean, whatever. These kids burning every day. There's kids burning every day? Where? You know, the kids set their own houses on fire. Can you explain this to me, please?

Yeah, sure. Here's a dead kid. It says this dad's holding his dead. I mean, I probably can't even show this on. I don't know if you can play the video. You're not showing it. Definitely not. Okay, so a father's holding his dead kid.

Definitely not. Okay, so a father's holding his dead kid. Yeah, and then you said leaving Israel alone was always an option. Yeah. For that kid? Yeah, pretty much. The kid could have left Israel alone. Well, the dad could have talked to the kid and been like, hey, do you want to keep living in this country where we, you know. What country?

Palestine. Oh, the concentration camp where they're imprisoned? They're not imprisoned. How do they get out? Swim? Smooth south. Get away from the border. Yeah, go to Egypt.

How does that work? You think it's Mexico that they're crossing into? I think you could. That's kind of an American thing, buddy. Okay. It's like you as a thing, buddy. Okay. It's like you as a citizen of a shit country. Of the country of what?

Palestine. Okay. I'm confused as to what I'm getting wrong here. What? Is Gaza a country? Well, God, the Gaza Strip is what? Being fought over. So what? Are they technically in Israel?

Is that what we're saying? Yeah, that's where they're imprisoned. Yeah. By Israel, who I support. Why can are they technically in Israel? Is that what we're saying? Yeah, that's where they're imprisoned. Yeah. By Israel, who I support. Why can't they go to Palestine? Well, they'd have to go to the West Bank. Yeah. Which is also a fucking

disaster. But if you're in Gaza... I don't think they're really allowed to go out. If you're in Gaza, though, and you go to the, what, the checkpoint, you go, hey, I actually don't want to be in Gaza anymore. No, they're not cool with that. I thought the Jews would be like, though, and you go to the, what, the checkpoint? You go, hey, I actually, I don't want to be in Gaza anymore. That's not, no, they're not cool with that. I thought the Jews would be like, yeah, get out of here. We don't want you here.

Where are you going to go? I don't know. Up? You're going to go to Mars? No, no, no. South. To Egypt. They don't want you.

Look, I don't know the exact geometry of the thing. Okay, okay. All I know is that You're part of a Did this happen in Gaza? I don't even know where this happened Yeah Just leave the Jews Alone

Just leave them alone That's it It's like easy. Easy? They live in like a prison. It's the densest place on earth. Congrats. Well, it's not congrats. What do you want them to do?

So what should happen? Well, I'm sure I can't legally say that on YouTube. Should they get paragliders and launch a fucking attack or whatever the fuck? Okay, have you seen my behavior over Eric July calling me the N-word? Sure. How do you think I would react if I was put in a prison for 18 years? By guys who are filming TikToks of themselves bragging about a lot of water.

Why is it a prison, okay? They live in Gaza. Because all the entrances and exits are shit. All the egresses and ingresses are totally blocked off and controlled. Cement wall all the way around. Yeah, but it's still like a... Okay, so you're living in basically Berlin at that point. Well, yeah, kind of, yeah.

You're living in like escape from New York. Right. Where? So you're... They subsist entirely on aid, foreign aid. Okay, but... They have no agriculture or anything like that. Then shouldn't your motivation be to escape

not to launch attacks on the much the the missile containing how do you get out people how'd they get out of people got out of fucking berlin or whatever people got around that wall did they do any bad stuff to get oh you mean you mean the Soviets? Yeah. Well, actually, it was, uh, a lot of strife went into the Berlin Wall coming down. Yeah. Yeah. There was a lot of, like, terrorism stuff.

Well, but that's not... Eventually, it was a diplomatic thing that took it down. Kind of. Threatening to nuke other countries was, I guess, was diplomatic in a way. I just think I don't care about your dead kid. It doesn't work on me.

And it doesn't work on anybody else. It's not working anymore. Man, it's working. People are pissed. Are they? Yeah, evangelical Christians are fucking pissed. Everybody else was like who gives a shit? I don't even think that's a kid. Somebody said it was a dog. Somebody photoshopped,

I think that was a photoshop, but they tried to convince. What did the AI scanner say? That's all I care about. Yeah, everybody thinks AI scanners are a thing now. They are, but they don't work. They don't work at all, no.

You see those kids that had to rewrite their papers because their teacher ran their thing through an AI. Yeah, they asked him, is this paper AI? And the AI said, yeah, 20%.

So we got to rewrite 20%. What? No. Look. Now imagine that paper was a concentration camp. I refuse to educate myself about what's going on between Israel and Palestine. Because I don't care that much.

Okay. All I know is I'm team Jew all the way. Okay. Whatever. Because they're just better. They're just the better side. Yeah. All right.

Say team Israel probably. Well, who's over there? I mean, I don't know. I'm not team Israel. I think the Jews are great. Okay. Me too. Yeah.

They're my favorite. And, you know, anybody would oppose them. I'm like, well, what are you doing? The Jews have given us so much. Really? What have they? Got, what, eight great seasons of Seinfeld. Okay.

Got a great bagel place near me. What's it called? Bell's Bagels. Okay. They make a good salmon bagel. Okay. Lox. Lox is good.

Sure. Lox is good. Potato stuff. Yeah. I mean, they didn't invent the potato, but they definitely- Irish people did that. They definitely gave it some new utility, I'd say. Yeah.

Canner's is great. Canner's Deli. Do you have any non-food related? Mostly food stuff Food stuff Food comedy Comedy yeah Great at Great at comedy

Great at movie making Only reason we have good movies Yes Hollywood You put Palestine in charge of movies Joke What's the best Palestinian movie you've ever seen What's the best Muslim movie I've ever seen I What's the best Muslim movie I've ever seen?

I don't know That RRR shit is probably the closest I've seen To a Muslim movie And that was unwatchable I'm trying to remember any Muslim movies Slumdog Millionaire but it's made by a white guy Yeah and it was tedious It's very tedious

It's very bizarre Although is that Hindu or Muslim? I don't know our Indians Muslims sometimes what do you What do you read I Don't think they're Muslims I think they're Hindu Like all I care about is fucking anime and shit. I don't care about any of this. What if an anime kid was killed?

What if one of your animes, like Evangelion, what if? I love when I'm doing a problem and I'm already like, man, I can't wait to read the comments on this shit. Like it's not just about Israel. It's not just about Palestine. The whole thing is that there's dead kids everywhere. There's always going to be dead kids. If you got a kid, okay, I can understand being worried about your kid. Yeah.

But other than that, you know, shit's going to happen. Some kid's going to try to crawl under the barbed wire, and he's going to slice his face off. It's like, well. Maybe we shouldn't have that barbed wire there. No, no. Don't you think that keeping kids alive is maybe the first priority we should do? We got enough kids. Well, you know.

Keeping guys who are making... I think you want to keep... YouTubers alive first. Industrious. No. I mean, people who are, I don't know, working age. You. A child produces nothing.

What does a child do? What does a child add to the greater good? Laughter and mirth. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I don't need that. Who's going to pay your Social Security when you're old? No, they're not going to pay that. Yes, they will.

They're stupid. They don't know how to vote. We're not going to get any fucking Social Security. They're going to take that away. Point is, stop trying to get everybody to decide on an issue on whether or not kids, not only dead, also, you know, half the issues are whether or not kids are going to get raped. So it's always kids. Now you've opened up a whole can of worms. Can of ass.

I don't want to make decisions based on how many kids are going to get killed. Yeah, but nobody knows anything. Like the. That's why. Yes. That's why they measure it in stupid things like how many kids die. But you can't expect all of America or the world to learn anything about what they're talking about,

so the only thing you have is just, well, here's, they have, like, they have more weight of dead kids than the other side, so they win. Like, I know you guys know literally nothing about this problem, so what else is there? Well, that's the thing, and also the argument goes both ways. I'm sure

Israel's like, well, you killed our kids, too. So it's like an endless stupid thing. Kids die for every fucking reason. No, they're being murdered. Yeah. But that means if both sides are doing it, it's an equal sum game, and you can't stack the dead kid bodies up and go, well, they did kill 10%

more kids, therefore that's the side I'm on. No, actually, they did kill 10% more kids, therefore, that's the side I'm on. No, they're actually, actually, they're both evil. It's not, you guys are both killing kids. It's, oh, no, you did it. Well, yeah, but they did. No, no, no, no, no, no. Forget about them.

You did it. Look, there's all sorts of things you can call evil in the world, okay? I just think, I see a little crispy kid corpse and I'm like, eh. You're like, eh, I don't care. It's gonna happen. I guess somebody sent me a DM and they're like, don't you care about all these kids getting killed? I'm like, nah man, it's a war zone.

All sorts of people are getting killed. How can we never talk about how many grandmas got killed, you know? They killed 12 grandmas. Fuck grandmas. What about like, I don't know, uh... You mean terrorists? Bakers. How many bakers died?

I like bread. Uh, I don't know. Put that in numbers. Oh, yeah. It's only kids. Yeah. And hot women. What if that kid would have grown up and killed more kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard this joke before. There you go. It's not a joke. It's serious.

Okay, so dead kids. But you're not talking about dead kids because you have contempt for that. So you're saying like... Sympathy for dead children. How about counting... Who is this problem for? Sympathy. Well, nobody wants dead kids. everyone feels bad about it.

Fine. Everybody feels it. Look, I get feeling bad about it. You just got to kill a bunch of people to stop it. Everybody, you can feel. All right, let's put it this way. You can feel bad about dead kids. I get it.

Just stop counting them. Counting dead kids. Counting dead kids is the problem. I'll take it. Just accept that if there's a situation where kids are dying, you can go, okay, that's kind of a shitty situation. But then you go like, oh, but more kids are dying for this and whatever. Yeah, but our kids were better. Our kids were better.

We got a dead kid. One of our kids is worth three of your dead kids. Let's see his head shots then, bucko. Yeah. I mean, some kids are. Come on. Some kids are better, yeah. Sure.

Some kids will never grow up and kickstart a comic book. That's true, so Those kids are doing it right Thing we need is more comic books my problem is getting a pimple on your nose. Yeah on or inside Anywhere on on the nose nose. It's not happening up here. They're happening... How often are you getting pimples? Bro, if I get one, it's the worst thing that happens that year. It's worse than the dead kids. They happen... you get one of these fuckers in the crook of your nose right there.

Yeah. With the nose, like, whatever it is, this... I haven't gotten a pimple in years. What?! With what you eat?! Yeah. What the fuck? Is that the secret? Do I need to start drinking Gatorade and regular Coke?

I do have skin tags, though, but that's like a different thing. Man, I get them shits all the time. They come in on the point here. I don't know what it's called. Like the ridge? So they're pointing down. Man, what the fuck? How do you even get any pus in there you cocksucker try to like drain it? Constantly never works. What do you do?

Just squeeze it. I don't know. What do you mean? I'm like uh I'll try to like take like you do I'll try to take like a thumbtack and like pop it That's disgusting. I know a thumbtack and like pop it. That's disgusting. I know. A thumbtack? Yeah. Like a special thumbtack? No, just like a sharp piece of metal. Why'd you do that? Because I don't know. Oh. I just hate it.

But you never get them. Well, I get them on my tongue. I look like fucking Hellraiser. I get these Excuse me? Occasionally I'll get a pimple on my on the underside of my tongue I Don't know what you're not getting a pimple on the other side of your tongue. I think I am Getting a you're getting a herpes. I don't think it's herpes

Do not drink what do not drink out of my glass. I got my Gatorade Hold on keep drinking Gatorade On your fucking tongue. What are you talking about? There's no skin pore there. Lie bumps on tongue are scientifically known as transient lingual papatilus. You got carbuncles. No, hold on. Lip bumps.

You got the devil's... The small bumps occur quite frequently. No medical intervention is required. It's not syphilis. It's not syphilis. It's not syphilis. I'm talking about herps. They don't even know what causes it. Treatment.

Usually it's sex with whores. Cut your tongue off. It doesn't say that. I'm talking about actual pimples on your nose. They get inside there. When's the last time you got one of these? It must have been recent for it to come up. I actually stole it from someone on the...

Oh, somebody else was talking about it? Yeah, but it's true. Yeah. Ran out here. You're like, well, I guess my whole week is shot. I can't go on a business meeting like this. I'm not putting makeup on. You know, some people have, like, cancer.

I wish I was those people. Shell's called the biggest problem in the universe. Talking about a pimple on your nose. You know what I do sometimes? I get a pimple on my nose. If I have a pimple on my nose, my girlfriend will leave her makeup out, and I'll go, like, if I faked like I'm tripping, and I smush my face in it, and then go, like, oh, man, I got all this makeup on my pimple on my nose.

That doesn't make me gay, right, if I were to trip and accidentally get it on. You're saying you want to cover up like a woman. Yeah, exactly. I'm not doing it. I'm just tripping onto this makeup that my girlfriend has left out because women think that the bathroom is just like trash for a CVS. That they just throw makeup everywhere. She leaves it out and I go in and trip. Yeah.

And get like, oh. What do you think? Is that gay? I can't identify with this problem. How? Because I haven't had a pimple in like a million years. I don't even know. So you can identify with dead kids.

But not. I can't identify with the fact that people keep fucking counting them. Okay. And posting pictures even know. So you can identify with dead kids, but not... Well, I can identify with the fact that people keep fucking counting them. Okay. And posting pictures of it. Well, that's my problem. And then I saw Ben Shapiro's picture, and I'm like, is that two dead kids?

And I was counting them, because it didn't look like one dead kid. I did think it was two dead kids also. Well, yeah, it was like a weird... It's holding a doll. Was it? Yeah, what was it? It's AI.

AI wouldn't do that. I don't think AI could make... If AI was told to make a dead kid, it would look? It's AI. AI wouldn't do that. I don't think AI could make... If AI was told to make a dead kid, it would look more like a kid. No, it's goofy. It's AI. That's what it does. I could make you an AI dead kid. Two seconds.

If it's telling, like, make a misshapen lump that might be identified as a child. Ben Shapiro doesn't know. He doesn't know what a child human looks like. Can you believe Ben Shapiro's pro-Israel, isn't it? And he's, like, so upset. A lot of people are really upset. Like, I get it. If you're Jewish, it's like you gotta, right?

You gotta, like, kind of ham it up a little bit. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, like. My kibbutz. Oh, my God.

Oh, wow. Like, do we have anything like that? Is there anything like that for Mexican people? Oh, Mexican people? Yeah. Basically, every day is like that for Mexican people. Like, oh, every wedding. Yeah.

Fat women are fainting left and right. There's no real Italian equivalent. Except for, you know, when one of your siblings. No, that doesn't happen anymore Joins the mob Disappoints the whole family Yo, I told you not to run around with Uncle Tony no more My dad briefly joined the mob

He wasn't He wasn't good at it They kicked him out My, look, alright I'm from the Like the New England Boston You know area New York area

Whatever And you know Part of my family was You know Mob? Yeah but like You know like Uncles or something

You know Yeah Yeah you'd be like A family thing You'd be like Oh be really good To Uncle Tony It's like why

It's like he can get you stuff Like what It's like you know Like kill a guy, he can get you stuff. Like what? It's like, you know, like kill a guy for you or whatever. I don't know. Kill a guy? Not kill a guy, but like if you're not,

like he's got a lot of money because, you know, he probably does something. Does he work in garbage? Yeah, he works in garbage or whatever. All these guys are dead now, you know. You have any other mob connections? I think they're all dead. I need an excavator

But my dad at one time he's like yeah No, I tried like working for them as a bodyguard and then we got in a shootout and I was like I don't want to do this anymore Any quit dad got in a shootout in the mob on his first day of work not on his first day I think for like a week. He was just driving around again with like uncle Jimmy or whatever in the mob on his first day of work? Not on his first day. What the fuck? I think for like a week he was just driving around again with like Uncle Jimmy or whatever. And then somebody shot at the car

or something. And he's like, you know what? I think there's other ways to make money. I don't think I'm very good at this. Wow. What was his mafia name? Big Johnny Jim John. The Enforcer from down on hockey Wow yeah all right what's your problem my problem is going to GameStop okay so

GameStop is I used to work for a GameStop and it is a terrible organization has always been a terrible organization It used to be a good organization But it got taken over by a weird Evil conglomerate Do you remember EB Games? Electronics Boutique? Loved them man It was a really good place

So Electronics Boutique was great Because they actually paid their salesman What do you call it? A commission Somebody working there was pretty happy because they actually paid their salesman, what do you call it, a commission. Okay. Somebody working there was pretty happy. Yeah. Like, yeah, I want to help you out. I do want to make sure you get the best game system

or whatever the fuck. And then GameStop bought Electronics Boutique and converted them all into GameStops and reduced everybody's salary down to minimum wage. Yeah, good. I don't want some fucking moron pressuring me into getting like a sega saturn well you just get employees who aren't like shit bags and like actually kind of care about their

work i think is more exciting for the consumer those nerds will they'll give you their opinion for free you don't need commit you don't need to give those well because that's a shit commission that's the problem though is then the job turned into, like, it used to be, like, guys who worked there were, like, kind of, like, capable and, like, normal people. And then it became weird nerds who just want to work there because you got an employee discount, which is why I worked there for many years.

Just to buy a five-finger discount? Well, Uncle Vito gets you a good deal on video games. I did rip off the GameStop a lot. What was your biggest score? I don't know if I had. You don't want to do a big score. You want to take a little bit at a time. What was your big dirty?

Well, my big dirty was that this kid Eugene, who was a piece of shit, got a job there. It was like a holiday time. And he had like a lip ring. And, you know, he's like. Fucking piece of shit. Yeah, like a fucking piece of shit. And I went, man, this guy's such a piece of shit that if anything goes missing, they're going to obviously blame him. Yeah.

So all Christmas. He stole all the things at Christmas. I stole like thousands of dollars worth of stuff. And then they're like, Eugene, we got to let you go. And he's like, why? And they're like, we're pretty sure you've been stealing from the same stuff. And you just sat there laughing at him? Yeah, well, he stole my camera.

He was a piece of shit. How do you know he stole it and not somebody else? He stole it. And you just blamed it on him? No, he stole shit from me. So I got it back. How do you know? It's a convoluted story, but basically he stole a bunch of video games from me, and

then I went to GameStop, and I went, hey, did Eugene trade in these exact games that are missing from my house? And they're like, yes. Your house? Who was he? We were buddies. And he like, you know. Was he a gay lover?

No, he stayed over one night because we hung out. He wasn't a gay lover. What do you mean? Would it be wrong if it was a gay? Maybe it was, but it wasn't. He was just a piece of shit kid. I'm just asking questions trying to figure out what's happening. He stayed over my house.

And actually, I had loaned him some games, too. I was like, yeah, you can play this game. And then I'm like, can I get the game back? And he's like, I had to move, and it went missing, and it's not my fault. I'm like, what is your fault? You lost my thing. Okay. And I asked the GameStop.

I'm like, did he trade it in? They said, yeah. So I went to the cops. I'm like, well, I know this guy stole it. You went to the cops? Yeah. For your video game? And then I later found out that his dad was the chief of police two towns over.

And I'm like, oh, I'm never getting any of that shit back. What game was it? It was Contra 4 for the Nintendo DS. And he also stole the DS. And like a couple other games. Okay. And he definitely stole my video camera. And your video camera.

Yeah. This guy had a lot of access to your stuff for a friend, quote unquote. Yeah, we were buddies, man. We hung out all the time. And then you framed him for grand theft. He was also my elf when I was Santa Claus. Oh, wow. And he stole a deposit of Christmas money one night.

Because every night, we were just left to run it alone. And for some reason, he was in charge of the money. And you had to just put all the money in a bag and then drop it off. You go to the bank and you put it in the thing and whatever you have to fill out the deposit slip and just one night he just took one of them wow and it was gonna report it well then they were like hey all this money's missing he's like i don't know what to tell you i put it in that thing thing fucking ate it man and i was like and i was like i guess you don't really need a good alibi.

It's just like, I don't know what happened. No, you do, because there's cameras and stuff. I mean, they trust the bank. Yeah, but it's like nobody's going to follow up on it because the people running it were also really incompetent. Nobody's going to follow up on it. How much was it? I don't know.

It was a night of Santa photos. It was probably like 500 bucks, 1,000 bucks. I don't know. Oh, yeah. 20 bucks a family. I don't know how much it was you're doing dirty stuff out there he did it I didn't steal it

you're helping you're not reporting your uncle's in the mob look man when you're living in the woods and then you're high you're fucking high horsing Palestine we just have different morals out there man you see stuff.

And you just... No, if you were in a concentration camp... You're cold inside. You would definitely be doing terrorism. Judging... Going by these stories, yes. I don't think I would do terrorism. I think I would try to get out and go somewhere else.

Okay, you can't. Why? Because there's guys with guns. Okay, well, you gotta, like, figure out a plan. You gotta smoke... You gotta get fake plan. You gotta get fake documents. You gotta smuggle out. Is there no way out of Gaza? No.

Okay. Well, there you go. Sucks there. No one would want to be there. No one wants to be there. No one wants... Well, but Jewish people live there as well. In Gaza?

No! In the Gaza Strip? No. But where are they taking it? West Bank. The West Bank is where they're taking over everybody's property, right? That's how you phrase it, yes. Well, that's what they're being accused of.

Yes. There's a great video where some nerdy Jewish guy from Brooklyn, they just came to interview him because they're just giving basically West Bank properties away to any Jewish guy. Yeah. And they're like, do you feel bad about this? And he's like, if I didn't take it, somebody else is going to take it. So why would I not take it? Okay? I can't feel bad about

this. And I'm like, that's kind of... A yes or a no. He's got a good point. If somebody offered me a free house, I'd be like, well... It was someone else's house. Yeah, but like... Well, I gotta take it or someone else will take it. Okay, but if I didn't take it, they're not gonna give it back to those people.

They might. If they couldn't give it away to anybody, they would give it back to them. Yes, they would. There's no universe in which you have a free house and not a single Jewish person's gonna take it. Literally, this happened in America, where they would where the government would take people's farms,

and every person in the town would show up and not bid on it. So the person that the government took it from could buy it back for, like, five bucks. Sure. And if anybody bid on it, they would fucking kill them! That was the unspoken rule! That's called terrorism!

Well, you shouldn't commit terrorism. There's a, before you commit it, there's a big gray area. Sometimes you should commit terrorism. Look, I get it. Look, it's the day of jihad. Everybody's amped up. Day of jihad.

Let's not worry about it. My problem was GameStop. Okay. They had a big sale, if you want to bring up this picture. I go to buy a video game, a new video game, and this is what I get. Look at this. That's a new video game? Jihad on GameStop.

Yeah, that place sucks. Wait, what's wrong with this? It's supposed to be a brand new video game. That's not brand new. That doesn't even have the thing. It doesn't even have the... How old is this game? It's supposed to be brand new.

I know, but how old is the fucking game? Like a year old, maybe. Six months. So they sold you a used game? No, here's what GameStop does is when they get a new game in, they have to make a shelf copy. So they always rip open one copy and take the game out and put it on the shelf. But they sell it as

a brand new game. So you got that one? Well, I guess I got that one, but also they lost the case, so that means they just had the disc sitting in a bin. Why didn't you just get your money back? I did get my money back, but I had to go to... And you still have this? They sent it to my house. They shipped it to my house.

Oh, okay, okay. So I didn't go to the store and buy it. I said, oh, a brand new video game to be shipped to my house. How exciting. And it arrived looking like this. They didn't give you like 10 bucks off or anything? No, they didn't give me anything off. I mean, it was on sale. That's why I bought it, but it was still like, I wanted a new copy

of the game. I didn't want this. So you could like play with the manual and stuff? I don't give you manuals in video games anymore, but I want a box to put on my shelf that doesn't look like this fucking trash garbage. And again, I bought it and other people online are going like, you know, oh, I got mine and mine's new. And I'm like, well, I didn't get this shit fucking one. You shouldn't ship this out.

Let's be real. If you're working in a store and somebody, you get an order and it says a new copy of a video game and you're about to put that in a box and send it to somebody's house can't you pause and go hey this is really gonna piss that guy off and make him waste his time having to return it to the store what customer is gonna get that and go yeah this is this is acceptable as a brand new video game i feel like you should be allowed to check a box on your profile for ordering. That's like, I'm a retarded pain in the ass.

Yes. So then they would know, oh, wait, we can't ship this to him. Let's ship it to somebody else who ordered it and doesn't want to wait for the new versions to come in. How? Like me, like anybody else. Some of the toy companies, you can get special I'm an asshole shipping, which is like, if the box shows up dented, I'm going to scream.

So here's an extra 20 bucks to package it real nice. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not one of those guys. You'd be okay with it? I'm okay. I'm okay with like a slight amount of like it went through the mail. I get it.

But I do want the actual, I want the actual case for the game. All right. They even sent me a couple games that are not sealed, but they're still technically brand new. They're shelf copies. Yeah. And I'm like, all right, well, at least they're in decent enough condition. What was that game called?

But then there's some other. Octopath. Path. That's it? For PS4. For PS4. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. You can hit the Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You can hit the shopping tab. All right. Hold on. Wait, is this it? Yes. So this is what you're like shitting and crying about? Is this fucking this box?

Yes. Do you want me to print this out? I don't have a color printer, I guess. You don't have a color printer and I'd have to get nice paper and it would have to be, you know, the shiny paper. Regardless, she's What do you do with the box? They have no tits.

No, she's got kind of something over there. Where? In the back? Yeah, you don't know. For anime? Barely. It's a nice thing to look. Then you put it on the shelf and you go, oh. Oh, because it's cat bitch. I see what the deal is.

Look at that. Look at that. I see what's going on. I want that cat ass. Do you think you're this guy? I am that guy. Fucking. He's got a cool hat.

Looping. Just like me. Fucking turd over here. Loop on the turd. That's me with my cool cape. Do you like look at this? And reflect upon it? I don't want.

Okay. Who gives a shit about this dumb box? Then why even put it in a case? Why not just throw the fucking disc in a box? Who cares? Yeah. Yeah. Download it.

Why put them on a shelf? I'll just throw them around my house. Yeah. Actually, why put them on a shelf? Stop. Throw all that shit away. All I know is, man, one time them on a shelf? Stop. Throw all that shit away. All I know is, man, one time I went to a GameStop, because, again, the employees have to be like,

they have to hire stupid people who just care so much about video games that they're willing to work at this obviously terrible job. All right. So you go in there, and they just want to, you remember your problem? Employees want to be your friend. Yeah, retail employees, yeah. I always get that at GameStop.

They always want to talk to me. One guy, maybe they look at me, and they think I'm a kindred spirit or something. Maybe. I don't know. One guy, he was like, you need any help? I'm like, no, I'm good. And he's like, oh, you're checking that game out, huh? I'm like, yeah.

He's got a little cat whore on it. I don't know. You got to check it out. And then I put it back. He's like, well, you know, have you checked out this? And I'm like, and I eventually, I had to go to this guy and go, bro, you got to stop. It was really taking effect. He tried to talk to me like five, six times.

I'm like, you can't be doing this. I'm like, I'm like, you got to read, you got to figure out how to read a customer who does not want to talk to you. Did you hurt his feelings? like well i was just trying to be helpful i'm like yeah but i hate it i'm like this sucks yeah i just want to look at stuff i don't want you fucking on my shoulder hitting me up and making me think about your shit i'm thinking about my own shit he was talking to me now i think about i about it, I remember his face. He was really hurt. I think he thought, like, I'm the best employee. All the customers love me.

And I finally was just like, dude, you can't be doing this. Did you leave or did you continue enjoying your boxes? No, I kept looking around because I finally shut the fuck up. And I could look at what I wanted to look at. Yeah. And he just kind of went by the counter like pouted and like looked at me the whole time. Did you buy anything? No. Good good good. I was like these prices fucking suck which is another

reason GameStop sucks. What if it closed down? Would you be pissed off? No because the other problem is like there used to be all these like mom and pop game stores but now there's none of those left. And a lot of that is just GameStop came in, and it's like the Monopoly and all that shit.

The margins on the new video games, like all the mom and pop shops, they can't sell new video games because the margins they get, they get a video game for like 55 bucks that they sell for 60. They make like five bucks off a new game. It's like bars will never go away for me, but video game stores win away for you because they don't have a good

way to stay around. Bars can just keep charging me for liquor and I'll pay it no matter what. The only thing keeping some video game stores around is that there's been a big influx of collectors when they pay stupid amounts of money for old shit, but even that's running dry. But then you still have to carry shit around.

If you could just go there and just pay 40 bucks for the experience. Yeah. That's what they need. They don't have it. I don't know what that is, but. Yeah. Maybe $8 Mountain Dews or something. They got, uh, the game stores that do well have, like, events.

And, uh, there's one, there's one in, uh, what do you call it? Burbank. They get, they, it, Burbank. Actually, because L.A., it's kind of cool. Like, all the voice actors live out here. So you can get all the voice actors to sign your video game. I got the little trans kid who plays Shinji Akari in Evangelion now to sign all my Evangelion video games. How old is the character they play in Evangelion?

Well, I think the actor is like, he was at the time when I met him like a 17 year old kid, so it would like, it fit. How old's the character? 14? Pretty close. Okay. I met him and I was like, I'm gonna be friends with the guy who plays Shinji Ikari with like a little back and forth. Friends? Well, you know, I wanted to be a, you know, like, I wanted him in my circle,

you know? No. I don't want to be friends with any 17-year-old. Then I realize he's just like a, I don't know, he's like one of these far left kind of guys, you know? Oh, yeah. Sports Palestine. I'm like, oh, this guy does not want to follow me on Twitter.

I'm not going to be friends with Shinji Ikari. All right. I did tell him to watch Hideaki Anno's Godzilla movie, which he hadn't seen. What's that? Hideaki Anno's the guy who directed Evangelion, and he also now directs actual films, and his Godzilla film is very good. You should watch it as well. Which one is that, though? Shin Godzilla.

Shin Godzilla? It's a Japanese film. Oh, okay. Called Shin Godzilla. Within maybe the last five years. Shin Godzilla. Within maybe the last five years. Shin Godzilla. I think it means Devil Godzilla. Oh.

2016. This is it? Oh, you gotta see Shin Godzilla, bro. Let's watch Shin Godzilla tonight. Not tonight. We could do a review. We gotta do a review of the Marvels, too. I think that movie will be good. Maybe. Brie Larson's not like a terrible actress.

The Quartering just hates her because he's a misogynist. Because he wants to be her. That's why. Probably. He's jealous. He's gone off the deep end.

The Quartering? Yeah. He's just nuts. Attacking Andy Signore who's currently streaming face down because he had eye surgery. The Quartering's attacking Andy Signore for his eye surgery.

Yeah. Corderings never had a hard day in his life. No, not really, I don't think. Andy Signore is providing for a family. Yeah. Having eye surgery problems. Corderings doesn't have any kids or anything, huh? I don't know.

You'd think him is like a big... I know he has no philosophy. Not that I've been able to recognize. Okay, our problems are GameStop. Counting dead kids. Counting dead kids. Bad neighbors. Yeah.

And pimples on your nose. And vetoes a lack of awareness as to Israeli-Palestinian politics. It's not a problem. I'm not saying it's a problem. I just like the Jews, man. Yeah, yeah, man Yeah yeah yeah yeah I know Stop

Stop Stop what? Stop killing their kids You see And if they kill your kids You see all the Jews talking They're not all The

Like the Jew The Israeli military Yeah Well they're using Human shields Right It's like Well can you not

Can you not shoot then? Well, how are we going to shoot if we're not supposed to hit the human shields? Well, just don't shoot. Well, how would you feel if a terrorist was holding your kid and they were trying to kill your kids? Wouldn't you want us to shoot them? What? I just think everybody should knock it off. Just knock it off.

I just think everybody should knock it off. Just knock it off. Next time you feel like launching a missile at anybody, just go, who does that? Hey, man, in America, we have to live with a whole bunch of motherfuckers that I hate. Do what I did to that guy in GameStop. And that I know want to kill me. Maybe you guys should just buy guns and knock the walls down and nut up and figure out how to kill them before they kill you. Instead of stopping such big pussies about everything. Get guns.

Get a little hooker gun. Get a little desert eagle. That's a Jewish gun. Whole country. Guns. They make great guns. I'm not over here going, we need to wall up Skid Row because everyone there wants to kill me. Have there been any Krav Maga situations?

For me? No, I mean in this current war. Have there been any cool videos of Jewish guys like Krav Maga? No, they kind of just like execute them with machine guns and shit. I just always thought it was silly that they're like, in the Israeli Self-Defense Force, they have this extreme martial art called Krav Maga. Krav Maga is their thing, right?

Yeah. And I'm like, well, what are they going to use that for? Jacking each other off. Are they going to wrestle the fucking terrorists? They're going to wrestle the... Krav Maga, sometimes you have six, seven Palestinian kids that you need to choke, kill, break their necks. That's what Krav Maga is.

I'm always like, this seems like a useless... They have guns. Maybe you guys need some guns. Yeah, just give them another gun. Do you want to learn Krav Maga or do you want to get two guns? Can you believe they kidnapped all those whores? Yeah. Did you buy all the other whores guns? No. No. Well,

okay, I'm out of ideas. I hope we get some Krav Maga. Like, this terrorist came in and thought he was going to handle these guys and they just Krav Maga'd the shit out of him. I hope we'll get some Krav Maga. Like, ooh, this terrorist came in and thought he was going to handle these guys, and they just Krav Maga'd the shit out of him, you know? Wait, which do you hope to... Like an IDF guy surrounded by little kids, and he's Krav Maga-ing? Yeah, he Krav Magas them all.

And picks up one of the kids. It's like Matrix time. I want a John Wick type situation The camera's spinning 360 degrees Alright What a show Here's some voicemails Then we'll read your super chats

Get your super chats in now I don't want to be fucking delayed Refreshing all night waiting for super chats Get the super chats in now i don't want to be fucking delayed refreshing all night waiting for super chats get the super chats in right fucking now um okay here we go here's the question of the week do you think wheelchair people watch wheelchair people porn? Because I've never seen that on Pornhub. Or do they watch regular human porn? Alright. I like the idea

that people in wheelchairs are not regular humans. You like that idea? Well, that's what's insinuated there. It's so funny that you had to repeat that joke. Well, I don't know if people got that. I don't know if they got the same thing out of that as I did. I'm not as sophisticated as you when it comes to... What a show.

How many diet Vito fucking voicemails? Listening to Vito talk about how he's losing weight and his diet process is the most frustrating fucking thing ever. He's always just going on in generality. He's like, well, maybe I'm eating less meat.

Well, you know, I get the beef and broccoli instead of the chicken. Like giving me arbitrary choices. Like it's literally the simplest thing ever. You just count how many calories you eat and make sure it's less than the calories you burn.

Okay? But every time people try to diet they just like try to fucking put it under this rule like oh maybe if i just cut out this kind of food or cut this kind of food then i'll magically lose weight guess what chances are if you cut something out you're probably just going to eat more of something else you have to count your fucking calories and just make sure that you stay under a threshold and you will fucking lose weight. Jesus Christ. You heard of girl math, gay math, boy math, stupid math. This is

veto math, fat math. Fucking vote it up. Veto. It's calories in, calories out. Okay. How many calories out did I have today? Oof. You? Probably 1,400. Probably. Maybe, yeah. So you don't know. There's no way to calculate. How many do you think? What's the range? You? Probably Probably 1400 Maybe yeah

So you don't know How many do you think? But I'm saying like when you say just count how many You just need more coming in that are going out Or whatever There's no way to know how many are going out It's all fucking estimates Well there's a way you can ballpark it

Yeah that's all it is is ballparking it That's what I'm doing, and it's not working, obviously. So I'm trying other fucking methods of playing this shitty baseball game where I go, well, I guess I didn't have enough of a calorie deficit there, so let me try eating there. By getting the what? I don't know, getting the beef and broccoli, okay? Yeah, but how are you controlling the calories out?

You mean like am I walking or I use the exercise bike? How long? 30 minutes. A what? A day. You do? Yes. Oh. You promise? Yes. Okay, good job.

Thank you. Gotta bump that up I think I think Also, I gotta get on testosterone I think getting on testosterone might help Okay Is that crazy?

No It's been like I've been trying to get on it for a year And there's just been all these fucking stupid hurdles It makes no sense What do you mean? Like what? Like Health insurance?

Yeah Or then they're like, do these labs. And I do the labs. And they go, oh, we got the labs back, but they didn't work. And I do it again. And they go, oh, those ones also aren't good. You got to just buy it illegally. Basically.

Yeah. And they're like, you have heightened liver enzymes. I'm like, what does that mean? They're like, we don't know. I'm like, okay, can you just give it to me now? Can you find a man, please? And they're like, no, you have to get that checked first. Yeah.

I should have just gotten it illegally from day one. I don't know why I've been going through this process for like... It's a waste of time. Yes. I mostly avoided this Eric July drama until now, but I finally watched the Rikada stream, and this stupid motherfucker has that fucking annoying speech check of what it is, what it is.

That's what it is that I'm saying. You didn't understand what it is, what it is, that's what it is that I'm saying. You didn't understand what it is that I'm saying, lawyer man. You don't understand what it is, what it is. Sounds like a goddamn ESL student, and he writes like an ESL student who's actually retarded. Go fuck yourself, Dick. Love you, Vito.

I love you, too. Wonderful. Wonderful. You know what I didn't realize about Isom too because I only read through it once when we did that review he has so many panels that have no writing

at all it's just like Isom sitting in a car or walking to a place yeah and I'm like working on my comic and I'm like

oh man it sucks that I can only fit this much dialogue per box because writing is obviously the most exciting part of this. Having my characters say things and interact with each other. Yeah.

That the idea of having a comic page with no dialogue on it at all. I'm like, what's the fucking point of that? I mean, yes, sparingly. That's the fucking point of it. But that's like the whole book is like nobody's saying anything the whole time Yeah, did you see his tweet where he said the most exciting part of making comics is coming up with characters and I went Oh my god. He's a five-year-old He's literally a five-year-old sitting around being like he's like spider-man

But he has a sword and the swords on fire and also he could shoot venom Like that's the part of the process. That sounds like a good idea. He is Chris Chan. Spider-Man with a sword. Shoots fire on the sword. Mr. Avery. Maybe you name it after me, Avery. I was going to make a character of my own, actually.

Mr. Avery. Little boy that I'm going to call Assam. Stands for I suck off men. I don't know if you knew that. Stands for I suck off men. I don't know if you knew that. It stands for I suck off men. Everybody of my time knows about it. It's totally cool to be gay and suck off men. Actually, men love it.

It would be weird if men did not love other men sucking men off because most men benefit from that. Don't you think? Vito, don't you think that would be weird? I do think that would be weird, Mr. Avery. Don't you think it would be weird if men were upset by men sucking men off? Because most men in that situation benefit. It's always been a theory of mine, Avery. I think my name was Knox, that I said before.

It's always been a theory of mine that it's weird for men to get so upset and they themselves would like to suck off men. Have you read the comic yet, Mr. Amory? Oh, I can't read. Thank God. I can't read. Stop. At least goes one step too far.

Not too bad. Not too bad. I didn't taste me about reading it. Yeah, I know. I know. Jesus Christ. step too far. Not too far. Not too far. That totally didn't know it more in my time actually. Yeah, I know. I know. Jesus Christ.

Well, that was Mr. Avery Knox, the great-grandfather. The father of Isom. Father of Isom. I'm the father of Isom.

The father of How did they find the grave of Isom? How did that? Well, you just look it up on the computer machine. I don't know. What sort of wizardry they are.

They are yours? I can't believe they found... Why would you want to read anyway? I can't believe they found... Read a bunch of gay books. Yeah. Do bullshit. Get woke.

I don't want to... Right. No on that. Not for me. I don't want... I don't even want to accidentally read. You know, you can't even turn it off. They say once the reading gets in your head, you cannot turn it off.

No thank you. What sort of entertainment would you enjoy in your time? Uh, like throwing rocks. That's your whole time of the entertainment? You probably couldn't throw a rock for shit. I guess not.

You try to throw a rock. Try to hit me with a rock. I'll dodge it. Whee! Like this. Let me see if I can dodge it real quickly. Like this. Whee!

Uh-oh. Oops, doesn't work. Okay. Moved. Hold on one moment, please. What do you mean it moved? Uh-oh. There we go.

That's better. Throwing rocks. You know, bending over, touching my toes, things like that. Why do I feel like this bit's going to get us in trouble? Get us in trouble for what? Just an old man. Something man from the south. Thank God Ripaverse

Gold Post isn't allowed to post about us anymore. Thank fucking God. Ripaverse Gold Post got totally bitched out by either Van Sava and Nick Cricuto. Bitch Ripaverse Gold Post out and bitched out, but either Van Salver and Nick Krakato, bitch River vs. Gold Post out, and they caved like a bitch. Oh, man. I haven't seen nothing like that.

I don't want anyone clipping this. Jesus fucking Christ. Why don't you clip these nuts? How about that? Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. Oh my god Wow That's a cool guy I can't believe we were

A blast from the past Mr. Avery Knox Visiting From all the way back And who even knows Apparently slavery times Yeah it was Yeah

I think so I don't fucking know Can someone tell me What year that was I think it was. Yeah. I think so. I don't fucking know. Can someone tell me what year that was? I think it was like 1860-something. Well, guys, what a show. We've learned a lot. Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. Don't forget to get your pledge in at patreon.com slash biggestproblem.

Which one was your favorite cutout so far? Is it Scott Adams or Avery? What other ones were there? Sergeant Slaughter. Scott Adams was pretty good. Scott Adams is good. Scott Adams was pretty

pretty good. I know you had a Buster Baxter one. I feel like there's one we're missing though. Well, all right. Get your super chats in, everyone. This is going to be a nightmare. Holy shit. What episode is this? 110.

Oh, my God. I think. All right. All right. Turkey sandwich for five. This is offset. My tax is going to Israel. Please forward this money to Hamas.

Done. Done. Coup for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Coup for five. I imagine with everything going on with ISOM, it's got to be fairly fed up with ISOM shenanigans. Thank you, ISOM, for not killing

yourself. On the John for ten. Two weeks ago on The Dick Show, the man known as the Niggler plugged my Twitter as his own. He is a liar. Now I'm being harassed every day. Please stop calling me that. For the love of God, my job could see. Wait a minute. I do have Niggler speaking. Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I do have Niggler speaking. I have Niggler.

Wait, what? Injola. Hello, Dick Masterson and Vito Gisvaldi. Is he doing a new character? It is me, a representative of Hamas. This is Hamas. This is not the Niggler. We love your podcast.

Yeah. The biggest problem in the universe. Oh. My imam loves it when you do this call to prayer bit with the animals you make your kids fight with. Yeah. Pokemon. Pokemon. Please keep doing.

It's very, very funny. Anyways, sounds like Israel is about to bomb another hospital. More of that. Yeah, that's good. That's good jokes. Get into the hospital. Thank you.

Goodbye. Hospital should have thought of that. That's her fan from Hamas. Here's another one. should have thought of that. That's her fan from Hamas. Okay. Here's another one. Hey! Hello!

Biggest problem in the universe! Hey! Hello! It's me! President Netanyahu! Oh! You sound like the Hamas guy. I wanted to phone in and let you know that your podcast is best podcast. This is your Jewish voice?

Oh, ever so cheeky, you! Very funny! And we thank you, Vito! You're a real mensch for keeping him in line. You're welcome. Anyways, I've got to go turn off some utilities for some renters in the Gaza Strip who are

Yeah, sure. paying their rent on time. If you know what I mean. Goodbye, everyone. Enjoy the show. I can't play this. What a great bit. The show that just brings you comedy.

The comedy stylings of Mr. Netanyahu. I'm glad we played those. That wasn't a very good Netanyahu impression. Kind of sounded like the Hamas guy. Netanyahu. Maybe he sounds like that. Yeah, we got any speeches from this guy? Let's see.

Do we have any speeches from Netanyahu? Right there. Prime Minister of Israel. Is that guy? Let's see. Do we have any speeches from Netanyahu? Right there. Prime Minister of Israel. Is that him? It's on X. On X. Could be fake. Statement from Benjamin Netanyahu.

Here we go. Does he sound like a... Did he have to walk up? What was that? It's dramatic. It's fun. Hit the listening button. Don't you think that that... Like, Why did he have to

I don't know If I'm the editor I'd do that That's a nice you know What do you mean big what I don't know the big entrance Should have flares going out Look at the way Netanyahu's looking though He doesn't know

He doesn't know when he's at the podium in the right spot. He's looking at him. That's the way my dog looks at me when I get up in the morning. She doesn't know if she's getting fed yet.

Yeah. Like that. Is he going to speak in a, I guess he is going to speak in English. Uh, well, who's this message for?

Do you think? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, never mind. Shabbat Shalom. Shabbat Shalom. Sounds different here

in the voicemail. in the voicemail how he sounds. His best podcast. I don't think that sounds like the same guy. Well, he's kind of listening to music and stuff and getting loose maybe. I think that might be an authentic voicemail from Mr. Benjamin Netanyahu.

All right. Coming to us all the way from Israel, our favorite, favorite place that we love. Let's see. Stop saying, now you're putting me in a self-defense Hamas situation. We love all countries. I wish an asteroid would hit the earth every day. Well, there you go. Scroll up a little bit.

Dumb username for two. Fun fact, only female mosquitoes drink blood. Yep. LP Dirty Tea for two. I'm here for my weekly dose of professional help. Peter Hansman for two. Fun fact, only female mosquitoes drink blood. Yep. LP Dirty Tea for two. I'm here for my weekly dose of professional help. Peter Hansman for five. My grandpa was the famous farmer Old MacDonald. I can't wait to write my comic McDonald's about him and his bitch wife. Boom.

Well, that's how it works. My grandpa was Thomas Eric July is gay. That was his name. Well, my great grandpa, Costco Jones, Jiswaldy. Yeah. Yeah. He had a dream of opening a big box retailer. Hmm.

And I'm going to do right by Mr. Costco. That's cool. That's how it works. Red for five. Jihad, the Internal Revenue Service. Talbir, Alu Akbar. Talbir, okay. Takbir, Alu Akbar. Takbir, Alu Akbar. Takbir, Alu Akbar. Jihad, Jihad, Jihad, Jihad, Jihad, the Internal Revenue Service. Talbir Al-Akbar. Talbir, okay. Takbir Al-Akbar.

Takbir Al-Akbar. Takbir Al-Akbar. Jihad, jihad, jihad, jihad, jihad. Jihad, the Internal Revenue Service. Takbir. We're going to get put on a watch list. Dumb username for two. Bring back the veto tie to a bomb countdown.

No, that's a terrible way to open a show. You got it. Great guy Gabe for seven Canadian dollars, a la Snack Bar. Diamond G for $5.55 Yes Admiral Nelson for $2 Happy Jihad Day Nate Ring for $5 My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy

was also a half-white man named Isam Wow John Riffs for $5 I'm making a comic about my grandpa His name was Batman, Super Mario, Olive Garden, Castlevania 3 It's not long enough guys That's not long enough What else you got?

Come on Lugori5 How about a live show in Seattle? No Why not? Alright Seattle's not that hard to get to What do you mean?

We're on the same coast It's not like a long plane ride or whatever Yeah, okay They got that cool game store there What game store is that? Pink Gorilla It's not like a long plane ride or whatever. Yeah, okay. They got that cool game store there. What game store is that? Pink Gorilla. And the guy who owns it is a fan of the show,

and he was supposed to come to our live show, but he had to work, I guess. Well, then, you know, maybe we have to work, too. We can't come to Seattle if he can't come to our show. The live shows are fun. They make me feel like I'm doing something. Yeah, I know, but they're a lot of work. Well, for me, it's a lot of work. Like what?

Setting it up, selling the tickets, setting up for the show, doing like a whole weekend of shit, dropping the dog off. Okay. Well, for me, I have nothing going on. I know. So I just drop everything and I just go to a fucking live show. Oh, whatever. I think Seattle would going on. I know. So I just drop everything and I just go to a fucking live show. Oh, whatever. I think Seattle would be cool. Joe Cool for two.

I sure hope no jihadis hit any warehouses. Me too. Yeah, me too. Young Lord for two, but it's always the juice. Late and Gay for five. Eric July drama is the funniest shit all year. It is. It won't stop.

John Riff, do you think it's going to stop now? No, dude. This lawsuit will go on for months. He's going to lose. I don't think so. It's not set that he's going to lose. He has no money and he's retarded. What do you mean? Yeah, but he could hire a guy who's not retarded

to be his lawyer. But he has no money. Who would represent that retard? He never shuts up and he's dumb. What do you think it would cost to defend yourself in a trademark lawsuit? $150,000. Who told you this? It cost me $50,000 to defend myself against Maddox. Yeah, and you're not a company, so it would cost you more.

And mine was just $50,000 to get it immediately booted. His is going to be depositions, discovery, financials, and he hasn't been doing any of it because he's dumb. Like, you guys, everybody... The reason why I have always been right on all this Eric stuff so far is because I know he is a

stupid, ex-gangbanger criminal. And I'm thinking of him like that and treating him like this, and everybody else is always so surprised because they're like, oh, he's just like a YouTube content creator. Just like us.

No, wrong. He's an idiot. He spent all his money stupidly. He's doing stupid shit. He's hiring his friends, pissing money away, and doing dumb, arrogant shit. I know he will fuck up the lawsuit

for those reasons. I guess I just wonder, at some point, is he going to go, hey, I think I just keep shooting myself in the foot. Maybe I'll just shut up and focus on my comic again. What good will that do? His comic sucks. Well, that is what... Alpacore, stupid, going to tank.

Who the fuck will buy that? People who like Mike Barron. Oh, wait, no tank. Who the fuck will buy that? People who like Mike Barron. Oh, wait, no. What's the guy? Chuck Dixon, creator of Bane. I'm going to do a hotline coming out before Alpha Corps that's 1-900-I-NEED-A-DAD. And it's for all of Eric July's fans. They can call me and pretend that I'm their dad.

Sure. They can give me a little info about who you think your dad was before he left you, and I'll do an accent and, you know, talk about, like, life and stuff. What sports teams he liked. Yeah. The Ravens. Depending on when he left you, right? Dad, you been keeping up with the Cubbies?

Oh, of course, son. Not the Cubs of you. Maybe the White Sox, but it's not the Cubs. All right, I get where you're going with this. And then sales. Oh, I don't need a dad anymore. I have this other pretend dad that's cheaper. Hey, it's not a hundred bucks a month.

Nah, I'm leaving you too. We'll see, man. I don't know. It just keeps... He's a fucking idiot. I know. I just don't know how just keeps He's a fucking idiot I know I just don't know How much of

I mean like He's a real big idiot But at a certain point Like Nope I mean that's the thing Is I keep coming back to Maddox And you know

You looked at Maddox And you went Well he's gonna figure out Eventually that he's just Fucking Nope He's gonna figure out Eventually that like

His friends that were Previously associated with him That's why nobody wants Palestinians in their country Because Utah imported Maddox's family Look at that, trash Eric July is reaching the point in the Maddox arc Remember when Maddox was friends with a bunch of other YouTube guys or whatever else And they would go on his podcast or whatever the fuck else

He's getting to the point where they're going Kind of embarrassed to be associated with this guy I remember that point with Maddox. Yeah. I see some of the guys in his circle being like, maybe let's not talk about the Ripperverse this week. I just don't want to promote that right now. I know. I saw that guy at the church.

He seemed like a really nice guy. I feel bad. I hate Dick, but I really feel bad about that. I also feel like Eric should have just answered his email. I really feel bad about that. I also feel like Eric should have just answered his email. This is... Everybody knows that toy on the playground, that big, I don't know what it is,

that big carousel, that wheel where you spin it. They don't let you have that anymore. Probably not, but you remember spinning it. You'd grab it and you'd go, and you'd put it in. And then you'd start going, going, going. Are you trying to explain the concept of momentum right now yeah and this is I can feel it with Eric slowly reversing like that because there's no denying it

at this point it's like this guy's a dummy. He's a dummy Yeah, and here's the other problem is that we made everybody read the comic Because for the longest time everyone's like well, I'm just not gonna read it now. They're reading it Honestly the smartest thing he ever did was not make a digital copy Yeah, because I saw that one leaked on like 4chan everyone's like well, it's not 4chan. I might as well read it They're all like oh my god it really is dog shit john refster 5 there's an old interview where this woman asks eric we got isom from he seemed lost then said it's an acronym that will be revealed later oh so he did steal it from the church and he's making up all this isom

someone has that clip that's pretty valuable uh send it to the isom church gather up all the evidence gather all evidence that eric is disparaging them and hurting their brand and also all of the people who say that they're christians that are his fans and that now they hate isom gather all of that and send it to isom the ministry why did he make a video about it just handle it do i need to pull up jesse jesse lee peterson again if i was in a trademark dispute i would just be like well this is something nobody's gonna be interested in because it's you know boring legal stuff i'll just handle it normally and they're trying to go after my family name i did see the part in this video where it's always like well i have employees i'm like well they man. Oh, did you see this one employee?

What? Hold on. See, this is... Why did you not watch my stream? I watched part of your stream. That's not watching my stream. I hang out with you every week. I'll get half of my dick in somebody. How many of my YouTube videos have you watched this month? Oh, every single one. Yeah, which one did you like the best?

The last one. Thank you. It? Every single one. Yeah, which one did you like the best? The last one. Thank you. It was a good one. I made a video about ISOM. You didn't watch that. Oh, I did. Oh, yeah? You just spent the whole thing apologizing.

Like, how much you want Eric to not be destroyed. It's not apologizing. I just said... I'm expressing that I don't care about his fucking... You care about the trademark. I don't care. I just think he's stupid. I care insofar as it reveals his moronicism.

I don't care the actual outcome of it. This is Eric July's warehouse operations manager. Why do you have just his eyes? Why are his eyes different sizes? Is that what you're pointing out? Well, which way are they... What's he looking at? I don't know.

How many cameras is he looking at? Hold on. Let me find it. Okay. What is what? What is that? Yeah. Why do you have that image?

I just paused it during the, during his. You saw that his eyes don't focus on one point in space. Well, they're pointing in different, They're pointing into different fucking time zones. That's, uh... What's his name? Young Ripa? Yeah, wrong. Ripa 59.

59, okay. Our statement. I'm going to be honest. It's 13 minutes of, like... I don't know, man. Yeah, you're right. I should have watched. You should have watched all this stuff.

I watched the spark. This is all you're doing. It's all your fault. You should be enjoying it. It's all your fault, man. Yeah, you're right. I should have watched. You should have watched all this stuff. I watched the spark. This is all you're doing. It's all your fault. You should be enjoying it. It's all your fault, man. You did it all on purpose. Okay, here we go. Here's retard.

Is this when he shows? Is he just showing pictures of his employees? Yeah, after he calls the Christian ministry fake. Why is this one crying? Why is this douchebag wearing a Japanese fucking shirt with a ring? What is he from, like, Ed Hardy land? Like, Barbie land? Except it's Ed Hardy verse?

Oh, here's my fucking guitar that I have. Just want to make sure everybody knows I'm a musician. Except I'm not. I'm a fucking bass player. I don't even know how to play this shit. Is that the bass guy? Is that his head of operations or whatever? Yeah. Working dream jobs in an

industry that... Oh, okay. Oh, shit. This happened to me last night. Use the... Again, use these. You can go frame by frame. Oh, really? I was trying to find that last night and no one would help me. Oh, I told you that before. You can also... You're probably gonna have to go... You can hold it also.

...that are working dream job. Here we go. In an industry. How's he looking? His eyes are a little chanked up. All right, I get it. Keep going. Keep going. Go frame by frame.

Very good. He's got some new eyeballs on those eyelids. Look, one of his eyes is more open than the other. I'll say that. What? I didn't do his eyes like that. He's got a crack team working on that. Operations manager.

Operations manager. Hey, buddy, where'd you put the... So then I played all the space balls, guys, with the crossed eyes. Everyone go watch Dick's Rumble stream. You're not having any fun with this at all. I'm having fun. I just... It's exhausting. I don't know how you're not exhausted.

Because I feed off pain. You're probably like me. I'm getting, like, dozens of DMs from everybody going, you see the new thing there? You see the new thing there? I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, I know. It's like, yeah. It's too much. It's too much. It never stops. It's exhausting. You're insane. Go up.

Let's see. Live show in Seattle. Okay. Icon buckets for two. I jihaded against white woman today. Yes, jihad white women. White women in general Corey Mullins for five says happy leaf Erickson day guys

not many people know that his brother was an explorer too okay I get what you're doing beef Erickson first discovered yeah it was a good try just old Joe for two lawsuit of jihad I saw Akbar red for two if only Hamas had some rock star lawyers yeah I come bucket for two. Lawsuit of Jihad. Issam Akbar. Red for two. If only Hamas had some rock star lawyers.

Yeah. I Come Bucket for $2. Says, this is $1,000. Let us pray. Okay. Two bucks. All right. Bazooka for 10.

Drove from Alaska to the Carolinas this past week with the wife and listening to Biggest Problem the Whole Way helped keep us sane. Keep up the good work, partners. Thank you. Kick her out. Leave her at a gas station no no dump that bitch

my favorite super chat is that people you know put on the show and have something to listen to because I got nothing to listen to

just the sound of the exercise bike yeah just going around and around I can't find any good podcasts Coach Cake for five Inshallah

Eric will perish before Allah David Gomez for five five dollars forallah, Eric will perish before Allah. David Gomez for five. Five dollars for Allah's jihad against Eric, his partners, and Mint's floppy knockies. YouTube censors jihad. You guys, yeah, all right. ASC presents for $41.

Is that the amount of money he taped to Eric's last building? Yeah. Bunnies. Now I know I can do whatever I want forever and no one can ever stop me. That's not the lesson. You can do whatever you want. That's not. That's the American dream. Hollywood for $20.

$20 towards a Southern preacher rant about Disney Larkana. Thanks for the laugh, boys. That's a twist on the call to prayer. I'll write that down. How much Disney Larkana have you purchased, Dick? I don't know what that is. It's the new Disney card game.

Oh. So it's like Pokemon, but with Mickey Mouse and Elsa. Okay. Elsa? It's got all the Disney stuff. All right. The princesses, you know, Goofy. Gaston on there?

I'm sure at some point he will be if he's not already. You want a foil Gaston card? No, I hate foil. I like foils. You can't. This looks shitty. It does look shitty. You can't really see it.

It's like, well. And then they do like a reverse foil where they just foil the border. You're like, what the fuck is this? We should play some magic. I've been building some dicks. Code guy for 10. Vito hates human rights. There are Palestinians being hunted like dogs in the street.

This is what someone like Vito wants war to be. And then he goes on to say, fair treatment of civilians doesn't matter to Vito. I think we've got to come up with it. Just stop reading it when you notice it. You don't have to placate them or, you know, pander to them. Well, maybe people in the audience want to know what clever attempt was made. It doesn't matter. Just make it seem like a retarded person stroked out and sent the thing.

Who cares? They failed. You failed. You lost. Good day, sir. Manny Muskets for 10. I would have spent this money at the bar, but I got turned around because I lost my ID. Oh, that's the biggest problem in the universe.

No shit. Forgetting your ID at the bar. Manny does not look under 31. Dude, there was a period of time I lost my license, not look under 31. Dude, I there was a period of time I lost my license and I was like, man, I don't want to get DMV. And I was like, but look at me. Who's gonna card me? And then I would get carded because

it's fucking LA and they're fucking douchebags. Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck? Gut for two. It's not ironic. It's merely coincidental. Yeah, that's correct. Coach Cake for five. That burrs. I was trying to like actually think I'm like, is there any way it could be considered ironic? And I'm like, I don't think so at all. Coach Cake for five, that Burberry Backwoods pack hitting that pussy

smelled like a Hellcat V8. Is that a lyric from something? Robin Turner for 10, Canadian. When are you going to have Sven Stoffels on to talk about his comic Butch Killigan? I don't know. I'll make a list. I don't know. I've been making a list of potential guests.

Oh, I know that guy. I was going to have him on my show. He's pretty extreme. Adam Martin says, for five, will we be getting Super Killer No. 1 before the end of the year? No. No. Not even before next year.

It's never coming out. Vito's got the money. He spent it on Gatorade. We're working on it, but you're not getting it before the end of the year. No. No. Not even before next year. It's never coming out. Vito's got the money. He spent it on Gatorade. We're working on it, but you're not getting it before the end of the year. Nate Ring for five. The Rippertardrama is the funniest. That's kind of crazy, though. You've got to be able to pump out comics. Yeah, well, I mean...

Four months, minimum. Three months, probably. That's the plan. Well, but it didn't work. The plan didn't work. Well, but it didn't work. The plan didn't work. Yes, the plan didn't work. You got to pump that shit out. Yeah, well, I got to- One month, boom, done, out.

I got to find more artists, and I got to figure out how to motivate these art guys to get shit done quicker, you know? One artist, boom, done. I have one artist. Out the door. It doesn't go as quick as you want, you know? One artist, boom, done. I have one artist, but it doesn't go as quick as you want. You know, if I was drawing it myself, look,

I'd spend every hour drawing it, but I'm not drawing that because it looked like dog shit. I got to pay a guy. It doesn't matter. And I got a guy who's good, but he's also a guy who's busy. So I got to figure out, I got to work around his schedule.

You got to get that shit out. So that's the weird thing is everyone's like, why aren't you working on your comic? And it's like, I can't draw it. I have to pay a guy To draw it I'm doing everything

You know Surrounding it And getting all the Production figured out Or whatever else You can write more stories Boom I'm doing that

That's happening Here's a story That's happening It's out Boom It's all happening It's gonna be great Everybody

Here's the thing It's taking a long time People are going Where the fuck's that comic Stop nagging me on this. All right? Look. First of all, even if it does take whatever, it's taking a long time.

No, it's not. We haven't even reached the date I said that it would come out yet. Okay? And it's still possible we'll hit that date. That's what I'm hoping. I'm hoping we hit that date. Okay? But at the end of the day,

obviously I can take whatever I learned from this process, and then the next one we do it quicker. Well, Vito, at least you tried your best. That's what I always say. At least you tried your best. This is the funny papers. Look, am I going to be... Maybe it's a little late. Would I be the first guy

who's crowdfunding comic was a little late? Better late than dead. That's what I always comic was a little late? Better late than dead. That's what I always say. There you go. Better late than dead. I don't even think it's going to be late. Alright? We're working on it. I just want people to, you know, look. I need it. I need my comic that I

ordered. It's coming. I get people who are like, well, if you don't get it out immediately, Eric Chilai wins. And I'm like, this is not about beating Eric Chilai. Yes, it is. No, it isn't, Eric July wins. And I'm like, this is not about beating Eric July. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. You better fucking get on. You better realize that it is about beating Eric July.

It's not about beating Eric July. If your comic is not better than Eric July's, you fucking lose and I lose. No, that's not what this is about. Yes, it is. It's 100% about that. Okay, first of all, I do think it will be better than I saw. It better be. Because that is a very low bar to clear I'm very confident in that

Yeah but it's goofball He's got like this goofy energy to it Isam's goofy? I'm nostalgic about Isam Because it's so retarded and bad You have to beat that It's like Troll 2 I think we can beat that bar pretty easily

You better be But it's not Oh look All you have to do is give that chick enormous tits I told you this before I think we can beat that bar pretty easily. You better be. But it's not... Oh, look. All you had to do was give that chick enormous tits. I told you this before. She's got decently sized tits. No, it's got to be ridiculous, distracting. Like, what the fuck?

I'm going to cum on every page. This is not even realistic how big these tits are. She has very well-sized breasts. You're going to get a little hanky-panky action or whatever towards the end of the book. I'm calling that. Not hanky-panky. Gross. You're going to see a little bit of zimba-zangers.

It's got to be ridiculous. You know what I'm saying? Here's the point. Like, woodshop teacher in Canada. The size of the tits is not what's important here. Oh! Also, also, what if I want to have a character later who has bigger tits and I've already went too big?

You can always. Not possible. You gotta ease into it. No. No anime starts off with the biggest titted lady. It's always, you get a lady with like decently sized tits and then later on in the anime you're like, oh my God, I didn't even realize there was going to be a chick with

bigger tits later. That's a fallacy. That's mostly true. That's mostly true of like 95% appeal to authority fallacy like 99% of anime starts off with a chick with either small tits or like medium tits. And like those are pretty good.

For pedophiles. And then later on, they'll always bring out some chick and you're like, oh my God. So there will be a chick with- Pokemon. So there will be a chick with huge tits in volume two, you're saying. I didn't say volume two, but later on. Oh, you are the worst marketer of all time. Oh you are the worst marketer of all time. You are the fucking

worst marketer of all time. You're worse than Israel. My priority is not getting. So there will be a huge woman with huge tits in issue two. No. Okay. It takes time to get to the big tits. Okay. You gotta get easy and do it. But you're starting off with a pretty good size of tits. What size?

I mean I didn't you't give it a cup size. I don't know. How do you not know that immediately? A lot of it depends on the artistic interpretation. I'm letting my artist. I'm letting my artist. What's in your fucking mind? You know, like a D.

Like a regular D. Thank Christ. I get a nice, solid D in there. Okay? Thank Christ. Get a nice, solid D in there. Okay. Stop. Stop while you're ahead. Not a double.

You're poisoning it now. All right. TheyRingForFive says, This Rippin' Tart drama is the funniest and most interesting thing to happen this year. Lean in and quit negging Vito. This is the time to turn it up to 10. CoachCakeForFive. I'm high on 12. Jason Bourne's looking to beat the cum out of a thick, fresh oak.

Oh, cool. Sometimes these superchats I have. I'm high on 12. Jason Bourne's looking to beat the cum out of a thick, fresh oak. What the fuck are these? Jacking off. Is that a quick sell for two? Ripping fart bubbles off of that ice on pack.

Longbow for five. Get a job, Crim. of that ice on pack. Longbow for five. Get a job, Krim. Krim, get a job. Coach Cake for ten. Last guy who ran off on the pack. Got choked out by some convention gloves. Last thing he ever saw was the price tag on him. Slowly faded into darkness, and I let the archangels take him.

That's right. Thank you for the ten. Lord's Pepsi for five. A la verga, todos los infidels. JJ for 5. Hamas would have bought so many rockets and paragliders with all that veto loses money. Maybe we can send the money there instead of refunding.

If you don't win, I'll send it to Hamas. I'm going to send $800 to Hamas and buy them so many PPC pipes. I'm going to send them all kinds of hang gliders and shit and drones. If you don't lose lose weight it's going straight to Hamas you're putting me in a self defense Hamas situation I don't have a problem with that

do whatever feels right Israel's going to have a big problem with you doing that because you couldn't stop drinking Gatorade you're using a human shield zero I should go get some cranberry juice I am sending that money Straight to Hamas If you don't lose weight

I'm gonna take all that money out Send it to Hamas I'll do some extra cardio tonight Ask fucking Hamas how it is I'll do some Krav Maga Dickwood for 10 British dollars Vito we told you to use Adderall to lose weight

Not Fadderall. Amazing. Amazing. That's a good one. Peter Hansman for 2Canadian. Here's Lofty Pixels. Dick, are we cool? No.

You gonna unblock Lofty? I'm not unblocking you. You're gonna unblock me. No. You're both blocked now. We did. We're both blocked for fucking trying to trick me. It wasn't a trick.

On this bit. That was a good bit. It was a bit where people get to petition. It's so funny that you guys both are blocked now. Okay, well, then next week I'll bring in my Unblock Me video. Begging one. I don't unblock. Well, I feel like somebody's going to break through to that cold heart of yours.

Oh. And if you're listening to the show right now, and if you're one of these people who comes to me and they go I've been subscribed to The Biggest Problem for A year now And Dick blocked me Well that's true I can't message you I'm gonna have to bring in Their voicemails Which guys you can send to

VitoGisualdi at gmail.com that way I can Sneak them up on Dick Without him knowing Rune Goon for five what would it take to get Frank Hassel as a guest? Vito squirms every time you mention him. I mean, my house is Frank's house. Whenever he's here, he could be on. I think Frank's turning things around.

What does that mean? I don't know. I can't believe what he did to Josie. What did he do to Josie? He's ripping up all her stuffed animals, spitting on them. Fuck Josie. She's retarded. Wow. Wow. What do you do to Josie? She's ripping up all her stuffed animals, spitting on them. Fuck Josie. She's retarded. Wow. Wow. What?

You gotta protect Josie. A woman has stuffed animals around? What do you want to fuck a little... Okay. You gonna invest in Fish Tank? Fish Tank 2? Yeah. I can't wait to see Fish Tank 2. How much money have they raised? Almost like a million now. I hope like a million dollars. Like two million. Pants Maestro for 20... 20 i bought the first season i can't wait to get it i don't know are they still editing it i think so yeah shit how's all that how long is that gonna take there's

a lot of footage to go through oh yeah who's doing that comic uh jet neptune is he's editing it himself you need like a team i don't know did you, you need like a whole Hollywood team to sift through and get clips or some shit. Pants Maestro for 20. Isom said they knew Eric was in talks for a movie. Theory. Eric calls studio. Studio does trademark search. Studio calls Isom.

Isom files suit. Eric commits torturous interference against YouTube because he can't take responsibility. Yes, that's what happened. Eric was on Tim Pool's show. Somebody was and they said Sound of Freedom. It was the Sound of Freedom guys were on there and Tim Pool said you should make an

ISOM movie and they said, well we'll look into it. And then they did look into it and they looked at the trademark and they called the ministry because they called the trademark owner. You don't know that. You don't know. What the fuck is wrong with you? Because. Sure, whatever.

And then Eric July went to the moon and he met a guy on the moon who gave him a special jetpack. Like what? We just make shit up? I don't fucking know what's going on No we don't Okay Coach Cake for five Vito told me before the show that he sent that email

That he's been obtuse gnome this whole time And he had that account forever Sure Fine I don't care anymore And he did it on purpose You're right Absolutely

Coach Cake for five. I balled so hard they thought I was a fucking nutsack. Jack Rockstar for five. Vito, why the hell did you try to shut down the ISOM talk before the Avery cut out? Yeah, why? I didn't try to shut it down, did I? No. I didn't know if you were saving the cutout because you were like.

I don't know. I just cut it out in case. All right. Is that a quincel for two? Is that Black Hitler? I'm spooked. I were saving the cutout. I don't know. I just cut it out in case. All right. Is that a Quicksilver, too? Is that Black Hitler? I'm spooked. I keep thinking about that part. Because he's dead.

He's a ghost. Yeah. That's very spooky. Mr. Abtruse for five. Big shout out to my homie, Crimsel. Happy five-year anniversary of being unemployed. Wow. Go on, indeed, and apply to a job to celebrate.

No, fuck that. See how long you can go. Princess Dolly for five Canadian. Why don't you two make a compromise? Put bunnies having gay sex on Isam's grave. Vito already said do the bunnies and no gay sex. Did you not say that? Lesbian sex is fine.

Well, that's not... Okay. Lesbian sex. All right. Johnny rubbing our pussies together. Wow. Johnny Rico for five. Vito can't even identify Israel on a map, let alone Gaza and the West Bank.

Vito, you got to BF. Vito, you love comics. Read the comic Palestine. Okay. Okay. Justin Warm K for five. I love it. The very first thing I heard when it turned on the show was, I think Jews are great.

I do. Jeff M for five. Somehow this is all Count Dankula's fault Yeah did you see All those Palestinians Going like Kill the Jews And stuff

And Count Dankula's like What the fuck What is this In Scotland In England Oh they were totally Allowed to do it They had a whole

Palestinian rally And they're like Fucking Like you know I can't say it And he's like I wasn't even allowed To do whatever

I was joking Wow I guess that's the problem Yeah you really Gotta be Well if you're And he's like, I wasn't even allowed to do whatever. I was joking. Wow. I guess that's the problem. Yeah, you really got to be... Well, if you're... I don't know. There's weird double standards. FedSol Plus with 2,000 Argentinian dollars, which I think is like five bucks.

Yeah. We don't kill kids in Argentina. We just provided asylum to some exiled German gentleman 100 years ago. And it seems that no one will ever forget about it for some reason. By the way, take my worthless Argentinian pesos, you Italian gringo. Love the show. Thank you. Maxwell for $17.

I was laughing at work today watching Dick's video about ISOM suing Eric. Rumble works like garbage, FYI. On a different note, vote up Theater Kids. They remain the biggest problem in the universe. Theater Kids is a very good problem. Yeah, it is. Anytime I mention theater kids, people go, oh, man, I hate those fucking guys.

I hate those fucking guys. Everybody knows one, too. Yeah. Johnny Rico for two. Vito, you dolt 14% of India be Islamic up north. See, that's what I thought. I saw the B, and I'm like, did he get me? India be Islamic. B, Islamic.

Okay, no. Antagonist for five. Shout out to Alex Brutus, Rory Winston. Okay, what is this? Pete Mango, Peaches, Comic, Gizmo, and Rice. Of course, Vito says hi to a bunch of cats. Freak. It's all cats.

Who's cats? I don't know. Sarah Gardner for five. Australian. Vito is every American. Absolutely ignorant of the rest of the world? I don't know. Sarah Gardner for five. Australian vetoes every American. Absolutely ignorant of the rest of the world. It doesn't matter. What these people do to each other doesn't matter. Yeah, but you vote.

Yeah, but I vote for, like, cool stuff. Like, you know. Trash. Yeah, trash. I want more trash. Biden. 8% mortgage and $6 gas. That's what you voted for.

What was Trump going to give me? Freedom. No, $3 gas, dick brain. $3 gas. Fucking, what do you mean, what was he going to give you? Closed borders. There's not a bunch of fucking terrorists coming in to kill Jews. He's going to get you $3 gas.

You don't know. He did have $3 gas. At that point in time. Cause he did it! Presidential gas scrapers. They do cause it! Vote it up. Fucking weird he did this problem. It's stupid. Right dude, here for five, biggest problem in the universe

are those peel off tabs under lids. Yeah, true. Cause women leave them on cause they don't know you're supposed to take them off. Tim Pierce for ten. Yeah, cause they actually like crew bacteria, I believe. Yeah, they're bad. You got to take them off. Tim Pierce for 10.

Last time the Philistines and Israel had peace was David versus Goliath. Winner take all. Bebe versus Palestinian guy steel cage death match. CG for 5. Wanted to make fun of Vito for voting for dead kids in the Middle East, but TBF, he's coping with it quite well Jack Rockstar for five

Vito very painful nose pimples aren't a problem also Vito my biggest problem is going to GameStop it's worse than pimples Beardhair Philosopher for ten now you don't care about

children Vito also doesn't Eric's immediate comparison to Sonic prove his autism yes clearly these are the frameworks and models afforded to him. It's so obnoxious watching those videos because it's obvious somebody on his staff wrote it for him.

Because he can't write. Oh, Eric? Yeah, so he's just reading a script that, like, clearly he sat down with somebody else and they're like, Talk about Sonic the Hedgehog. Because that's, like, how people will understand. Like, they had a meeting. Yeah, because it doesn't say what it is every couple of seconds So he sat down with like a couple guys

And they're like how do we Break through the noise and really let people know And it's like that's what they came up with His writers are not black Right that's true Well Eric as your bass player I think You should say that it's ironic That you know this situation with Sonic

It's very ironic that he also eats chili dogs. Yeah. That is the correct usage of the word ironic. I agree with you, my bass player. It's so rare that someone uses ironic correctly. Correctly. Isn't it ironic that we are also using, that me, the worst writer in the world, is using it correctly?

Yes, that would be ironic if you were using ironic correctly, Eric. Warrant for five. This is the anniversary of my best friend Eugene killing himself. He went into a dark place after he got fired from GameStop and never recovered. Honestly, if Eugene killed himself, I'd be pretty okay with it. That guy was a shitbag. Berserker for two. You could probably easily escape

if you had a jetpack. That's true. What would you do if you were escape if you had a jetpack. That's true. Drew and Drewness. What would you do if you were in Gaza? Get a jetpack. And go where? The West Bank. The West Bank to do what?

Live there? Yeah. Okay. I'm sure there's people who have left Gaza in some respect. I just don't know where they go. Okay. Do you even know a't know where they go. Okay. Do you even know a little bit? They go to Iran.

Well, they actually went to... Iran is good friends with all those guys. They went to a country they got kicked out of. Like 100,000 of them got kicked out of this country. Kuwait? Yeah. A guy, Saddam Hussein, kicked him out after they fucked up his country. Then we went ahead and killed him.

Well, we shouldn't have done that. Drew Nez for $19.99. Biggest problem, expensive food trucks. I went to a food truck invasion tonight. Everything was way overpriced. Yeah, I hate that shit. Oh, wait. I had settled on Beef Pharaoh.

Settled on Beef Pharaoh. I mean, I just said it. Yeah, but you didn't say the two. You just said settled on Beef Pharaoh but you didn't say the two I don't think I You just said Settled on be Pharaoh Oh you're right I didn't say You misread it

So you didn't get it Close CG for five Vito would steal a house If I were to win Because that's what Everyone else is doing But he wouldn't be a terrorist

If that's what Everyone else is doing No I mean I would do Terrorism too But you know Then somebody killed my kid What would you do For terrorism

I don't know Whatever they got Whatever they got. Well, you can't do the paraglider thing, so what else? Why can't I do the paraglider thing? I think a paraglider could handle a man of my size. 300 pounds? You can't even go in a fucking helicopter, dude. What's the weight limit? I can go in a

helicopter. They had two guys on there. They had a guy flying and a guy shooting. Somebody's gotta be doing the raping. Weight limit paraglider. Let's see. 240 kilograms. What is that? Like 500 pounds?

I think so. Is there a weight limit for paragliding? So you'd have to have like a little like master blaster. They put two guys on those things sometimes. Well, they have to have two guys to do the killing. If they had another guy with you, it would have to be like a little like master blaster. They put two guys on those things sometimes. Well, they have to have two guys to do the killing. They couldn't, if they had another guy with you, it would have to be like a midget. I would just, I would do both.

I would have the gun and I would be paragliding. You can double task it. I mean, I think you're kind of risking the whole operation. I think I'd be better at it than they are. Because of video games? Yeah. I believe you. Like the last Starfighter,

but the last Palastarian. The last Hamas. Oh, you're busting out. You're the best. You're the best at pilot wings.

You're the best at pilot wings. Another, another, another, another, another. Come,

you come now. Come now. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Now you got the rip! You got the rip!

Shoot that kid! Shoot that kid! Something about the way they talk makes me think I would do it. Like, the way they're all yelling and excited. Because they're all amped up, yeah. Because, like, I've been yelled at by my dad, and it's different than when I'm watching the Hamas guys yell at each other. it's like fun and festive when they're doing it you know yeah they're fun that's like that's why that alo akbar stuff is so scary is because you want to join in feels like it's like kind of a party

turn like that and then it could go back to being fun yeah you never know if they're just having fun or they're going to kill a guy. It's like both. Greedo, fail for five. I don't go to GameStop because I practice flirting with the cashier, but when it actually worked, I was still too retarded to ask for a number. Good work, Greedo. Fail. Koo for two.

Watch Shin Kamen Rider 2, Vito. It's great. Oh, okay. Yeah, I haven't made time for that. Did it get a release here? Coach Cake for five. Biggest problem live in Phoenix when? I don't know. I don't know.? Coach Cake for five. Biggest problem live in Phoenix when? I don't know.

I don't know. Punning Wild for five. Get our Patreon up and we'll do more live shows. Oh. That's a good goal, right? Oh, sure. 10,000. Get us to 10.

And then we'll do, I don't know, we'll do the whole country. Dick doesn't want to travel. Well, you travel, though. It's a fucking pain in the ass, man. Yeah, but you get money, and you're doing it for the fans. Okay. It's for the fans. It's like a human fucking shield that you're using here.

So I don't like the fans because I don't want to just travel around? Well, you don't like the fans as much as I like the fans. You want a little bit of merch money. That's what you want. That's why you want to go around. The merch is not about the money. The merch is about the excitement of merch money. That's what you want. That's why you want to go around. The merch is not about the money. The merch is about the excitement of the merch. It's fun.

Everyone loves tchotchkes. It's not fun. They don't like that. I see people that come away from the show with a little stupid of the flags, Riley May. And they're like, you know what? I'm going to treasure this. I'm going to hang it on my wall. Those were great.

The Vito's merch shirts. People's eyes lit up. Those were dumb. Mint salad made those. I told people not to buy those again. Punning. They're only 10 bucks. Punning Wild for 5. Snakes beat the Doyers. Swept at home 2. Okay, you're doing a thing.

Ruby Sue C for 5. Vito is a terrible PDF. Not even caring about how many children are dead. Me for 5. Pimples in or around the nose are the worst. Vito, please admit that has TB. You're not going to get me. TJ, 367 for 10.

Australian says, Kyle can hook you up. I know, and I should have just went to him to get the testosterone. Suda, Suko for two. Super killer should kill that cancer bat kid. Kill him. Kill the cancer bat kid. Did that kid die? Yeah.

That was a while ago there, right? Who's counting? I don't know. That was a good bet I did. Let's see. Right there. Alex for five. FTC says they're going to get rid of drip pricing.

I'm sure that'll work. Wait, what's drip pricing? Is that the subscription thing? I forget. We talked about that. Is that subscription fees? Maybe. Is that a quincel for two?

Will super killer kneel on... No. No, no. No one is kneeling on any individual. Cash for ten. Why not? No, we're not going to... I kneel for God.

I'm a good Christian man. No one's going to kneel on you, Mr. Knox. You know, do you do a lot of kneeling in your home life? No, I don't kneel. Lord Jesus Christ. Every Sunday, actually. Can everyone stop encouraging this? Lord, please Please

I pray to you that my progeny My great-great progeny I still can't believe you did this Will not Will not fuck If my great-great grand progeny Makes millions of dollars Do not

Lord, do not let them Fuck up their lives Fuck this show By being fucking By being stupid Lord, just By not answering an email? By arguing with Nick Rikito?

I can't believe you've done this. What? You watched Eric July's video and you said, you know what I should do? You texted me and said, you know what I should do? You should cut out Avery Osom's face and you should make a face out of it. And then you said, I'm so glad I was on the church and suing Eric July I sent that email on purpose

maliciously to ruin his business his bidness when I saw this before the show I was like you're doing the voice right now you even did the voice for me

so I knew what how to say it I said I said well how's the voice going to sound you said this is a voice this is genuinely offensive to why

what's offensive about this you're taking his old timing. He called me a word that I won't even say because it's kept all people down. I just feel like in my time, actually just three years it's kept us down, but in the future

we'll keep us down as a people for hundreds of years. Whatever line of decency there ever was. I mean, I know we crossed that Rubicon a million years ago, and Eric crossed it himself as well, but at no point when I said, hey, there's this comic called Isom that kind of sucks, did I think we would arrive at the point

where we have the man's great-grandfather. Well, you did. You did it. You did this. It was all your fault. This fucking group. Because you had a petty vendetta because you was jealous of my grandson's comic, Assam. Yes.

And his great, great, great, great, great, great grandson that you got there. Yeah. And his son. And you have basically nothing in your life. out there, and his son, and you have basically nothing in your life. Your daddy was a mafioso man who didn't even want to shoot anybody or anything like that. Just one. That's you.

Me. Successful. Immortalized in the best-selling comic of all time. Your comic, dog shit. Late. Bullshit. My comic, two issues. Late. Bullshit. My comic? Two issues. Two issues you got.

Two issues. And you got the AlphaCore on the way. What's AlphaCore? And you only needed, you know, 20 employees in a warehouse and $4 million. And a hot bitch has drawn that other one, too, the spinoff. You don't have no hot bitch drawn anything for you. How big are Yaira's tits, Mr. Knox? Double D.

You think those are double Ds? I don't think. I know. Okay. What are you fucking talking about me like you know anything about it? You've got to think for ten fucking minutes about your fantasy. Jesus Christ, Mr. Knox. Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to use the Lord's name in vain. Yes, you are actually the offensive one to me. That's right. I'm a good Christian man. I am a good Christian man. What do you know about it? Well, I just said you are. I'm a good Christian man. I am a good Christian man. What do you know about it? Well, I just said you are. I'm agreeing

with you. Well, okay. And I am sure slavery... You better watch it. You better watch it. I never asked for this. This is not... This is not how I envisioned this. How'd you envision it? Like a bunch of fucking NPR talking about

dead kids and anti-Christian shit. Like you're so fucking smart and video games and shit. I thought we'd talk about the comic book like a little bit. Oh, yeah, right. You had poison in your heart from day one to bring it up. You actually tricked me into doing this. Actually, you tricked me into doing this. I'll testify to that in court.

That veto tricked me into doing this, and I'm innocent. If we end up in court over this, honestly, it's going to be fucking hilarious. I'm throwing you under the bus right directly. I'm directly throwing... Mr. Knox. I think you're getting mixed up. It's Mr. Knox to you. That's what I just said.

It's Mr. Mr. Knox to you. Mr. Mr. Knox. All right? I'm sorry I've offended you. I'm sorry that your great-great-grandson. Oh, whoops. Wait a minute. Sorry.

Keep going with your apologies. I was going to say, you know, I apologize that there's become strife between me and your descendant. There's no strife on my side. It's all on your side. I've caused all this strife. I'm sorry, sir. Okay. I hope you rest easy

wherever that may be. Heaven? What the fuck do you think? What kind of question is that? I didn't mean like which afterlife. I meant, you know, like Well, it's heaven. Okay. What do you have? Some kind of liberal pedophile version of heaven? Jesus Christ. Hey, who's up

there, by the way? Is it the Jews or the Muslims? Well, I gots to go All right, I just want to know which side was the right side I thought he would know I guess not cash for ten Vito My girlfriend wants to do the name when the wars happened game. She doesn't think you know history prove her wrong real quick Okay, buddy. Want me to do it? All right If you do like Napoleonic Wars, I'm going to get it wrong. Oh.

Uh-oh. Maybe. Uh-oh. Oh, you're doing a disclaimer already. When did the following five wars happen? The Revolutionary War. Okay. Oh, I have to name dates?

Year. Year. Okay. Revolutionary I have to name dates? Year. Year, okay. Revolutionary War. American Revolution. Oh, wait, no, that's the wrong one. Sorry. 1776. Civil War.

Like 1890. World War I. 19... 1910. World War II. 1938. Vietnam. 1965. 1938 Vietnam 1965 Alright

First one, dead on 1890 You're about 30 years late 20, 30 years late on that one 1965 1910, close 1914, pretty good, I'll give it to you 1938

I believe that's dead on all right correct 1965 I actually don't know I would take 70 when did when technically did Vietnam take place when did Vietnam take place what years 55 to 1975 right in the middle, Vito. You nailed it. 1955, I don't buy. That's a little too early. Have you ever heard a girl do this game?

No. Well, I think once you did it. Was it on your show or something? It all started in the 1900s. Yeah. They'll go Civil War, 1950. I'm pretty pleased with my performance there in the Civil War. This is a normal man's performance. That's the joke.

Yeah. Women are off by thousands of years. I'm pretty okay with how I did there. I'm glad I got Vietnam. Tell your girlfriend to suck your cock, Cash. There you go. I'm not a complete idiot. Berserker for two.

Not him. He didn't say that it was how he talked killer Vlado for two for the call to prayers may Allah protect our men two bucks me for whatever says Vito Mestitù be fair I did where well I just said it again so he give it to me there I suck co Hawks. There you go. Koof did it. Apparently, Koof got one in. Okay, well, I trust you. I suck, Hawks. I trust you.

Is that a quincel for two? I guess somebody did do it, finally. Somebody got me today. When's the Texas live show? Stop this. Christopher Marsh for 10. When is the last live show? We're never doing a live show ever again.

How's that? Now, see, now you're upset like me. All right. Christopher Marsh for 10. Not to sound like a man lover, but I just realized I've been a fan of Dick since I was in middle school, and that's just insane. On that note, when did Dick get so goddamn old looking? That's horrible. As soon as you realized you were gay.

That's when it started. Don't worry. I'm falling apart as well. Fuzznut 25 for five. Try number five. I got flagged on X for replying to Richard who says he isn't white, but not disagreeing about the overweight parts, telling him to stop eating. Lol. Zetta Quincel for two says get that

cross-eyed man a forklift. Heather, welcome to the rip-a-verse. You have eyes that are pointing in different directions. You've got two forklifts that got your name on it, buddy. You're going to need one for each eye. Well, I think I'm ready to take... Why am I doing

the old-timey voice now? Heather Salvatore for 20 says, I love you guys. Thank Andy. P.S. Vito, which part of Massville are you? I'm from Hadley, Amherst, North Hampton. Love my Vito. I worked at the Hampshire...

Wait, the Hampshire Mall? Yeah, I worked at the... Yeah, I worked at the Hampshire Mall. Oh, Heather. What a nice little puppy. Go visit my good friend, Seth. That puppy needs a puppy. Go visit my good friend Seth. That puppy needs a dad. At X9 Games in the Hampshire Mall in Hadley, Massachusetts,

where he may still be able to purchase a copy of Enemy Weapon, because he probably still has them in stock from the last time I sent them some. Jose M for five. Eric is so autistic. Why did he keep switching back and forth between black and white and color? Because his editor keeps playing around. Also, has he turned Comixgate against him? Well, here's the thing about Eric Jalai is that he refuses to call himself Comixgate.

So, but he wants all the Comixgate people's money. Oh, here's me. Comixgate for life. This is me. Look. This is my gang sign. We like Ethan. Ethan's a good guy.

I am. He's Comixgate, right? Yeah, he's like the king of Comixgate. That's right. I'm the ride or die Comic Skate. I'll kill for Comic Skate. You want to know something about Ethan VanSkyver? Doot, doot, doot.

What? He owns the trademark for Comic Skate. Oh. So, it was all about that nonsense. David Gomez for two. Biggest problem in the universe is bad labeling on water dispensers. Zeta Quicksilver for ten. I'm peeking off this Danny Phantom slot.

What is everyone quoting? What is this? What are you guys quoting from? Why? I'm peeking off this Danny Phantom slime. Can you remind me who I am? Get the president on the phone right now. I fronted him a brick. Is this like you're trying to like get Sam Hyde? I don't know. I think they're trying to get me to say crazy words so they can feed it into an AI model. I'm peeking off this Danny Phantom slime. Can you remind me who I am? Get the president on the phone now. I fronted him a brick. I need my money. Hello, Black China?

I think they're feeding it into an AI model and they need me to say certain certain syllables so it can train the model to perfectly replicate my voice. Jose M for two. Should Eric rebrand to ISOM E-Y-E or ICE SOM. ICE SOM would be cool. Jose M for two. Should Eric rebrand to Isom E-Y-E or Ice Som. Ice Som would be

cool. Give him ice powers. He should go to like Iceland, like a land of ice. And get raped by a yeti. Okay, well now you went too far. What? What superhero ever got their powers from being raped?

Medusa. She's not a superhero Well to you she's not She got her powers From being raped Yeah she got raped so much That she made hair Snakes for hair And turned men to stone

Wow Yeah it sucks for her Women Women huh And then Perseus is a hero For killing her It's like well I mean I think you kind of

Caused that buddy She's trying to stop all the rape You want to refresh it one more time? You didn't think I had a real answer for the rape question did you? Well you went I formulated that I saw that twinkle in your eye I was like oh I fucking already know the answer to this one

That's a fucking You dodged the question You white men Just hate having a woman hero I guess so Heather Salvatore for Tensys Thank you Vito you're welcome Enjoy that UMass campus

Get yourself a slice of Antonio's pizza In downtown Amherst Pineapple man for two We smoking filtered crack Filtered crack there you go Show me the list of our top supporters, Dick. Don't forget, guys. You've got to vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show.

Is that it? Yes, that is it. And you can support the show at patreon.com slash biggestproblem and back.by slash biggestproblem. And buy my comic book. Man, I have all these null quotes or clips, too. Spoonstim for your show. Why? You're not around on that one.

Is this the Eric July show or the Null show? But Null's, Null, the reason Null's attacking me is because of you. No, stop. Just, just, Null is just attacking everybody. No. Null has, Null has nothing going on in his life other than his forum, right? Yeah, it's according to you. So he seeks out, and he has no father to relate his troubles to

And he has no Girlfriend to you know Stroke his hair as he cries into a pillow That is the one thing That is the only thing I'm envious of Null about That he does not have a woman in his life And there's no chance he'll ever get one If I could you know

If I had one wish Please just make me never have to ever deal with women again He's got it made My one wish is that Noel finds another human being who doesn't live on the internet and he just, I don't know, hangs out with them and plays Mario Kart and goes

oh, so this is what life is. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. And I never want to do it again. You gonna play a Noel quote? You don't want to play an old quote? Go nuts. Look.

They're so stupid. However, it was denied that what he was doing was illegal at all. Yeah. The attorney general, or the district attorney rather, of wherever the fuck Ripa is, Eric July is in Texas, apparently felt differently because as it turns out Riley the producer of the dick show is now a wanted man in the state of Texas

because he is charged with felony stalking. It's a third degree felony which is one of the higher felonies it carries it's one of the higher felonies you know, rape. The Attorney General's going to nail this guy to the wall.

Or the District Attorney. I don't know which one it is. Possible jail sentence of two to ten years. Yeah, Riley's getting ten years, Noel. He's getting ten years. Come on, why would you nominate... He's either getting ten years or he's going to be publicly executed For taping dollar bill You're right

You're so right Thank god all this Israel stuff happened Otherwise I think they were going to lynch him I think there was going to be a public hanging in the square Third degree felony That's one of the higher felonies They were going to kill Riley

And thank you for pointing that out that's why these clips are away i don't know how you can listen to this guy he has no he doesn't live in reality i'm listening to a crazy person what do you mean he's saying that he's got a warrant out for his arrest he's got a warrant out for his arrest and he's charged with the felony 10 years he's gonna get r felony. Two to ten years he's going to get. Riley is going to get ten years in jail because he put pictures of bunnies on dollar bills and taped them to a door. You think that's an expert legal analysis or what? Can you just think it through rationally and be like, okay, you're in front of a Texas

judge and the judge goes, what did you do? And you go, oh, I put money on his door. And he's going to go, okay, well, just don't do that again. He's not going to go. Or do do that again. Ten years in jail. Definitely do it again. Do it again, yeah.

Just, you know, to me. We got some people who their hatred for us has led them into the land of the blind. For you, and now you're acting like, oh, it's Null and Me's problem, but it's because of you. Well, according to them, you're just trying to figure out how to reboot the show without me, so you know, just do that, I guess. You could reboot it

with me. Yeah, just do the show. You and him do the show. Here, put it over me, and then we'll see what that show would look like. No, I don't want to do that. Alright, fine. Alright, bye, everyone. Biggest problem, guys do the show. You and him do the show. Here, put it over me, and then we'll see what that show would look like. No, I don't want to do that. All right, fine. All right, bye, everyone. Biggest problem, guys.

Everybody subscribe. Hit like on this video. Get your friends to support us, to listen and just give us money on Patreon. Steal their credit cards. Yeah, do that. I like that plan. Bye-bye.