The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 112

Episode Date: October 29, 2023

Dick doesn't want me to put ads on the biggest problem videos in case you guys haven't figured that out. You want to start the show or not? Sure, start the show. Welcome to the most ad-free podcast. No, no, put ads on it. Well, apparently I care. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From doxing hysteria to wasted parking area. Not bad. How do you like that? I forgot to write down who sent that one in. Well, then I don't care. Hi, Dick. What's up, buddy? How you been? Great. Collect, then I don't care. Hi, Dick. What's up, buddy? How you been?

Great. Collecting ad revenue and feeling great. Writing a comic? When's that scheduled to come out? You really doing this? We got the comic

that's moving. I'm talking to the artist. We do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We, the royal we. We're going to do that every episode. Ask for a check-in. I just want yeah, yeah, yeah. We, the royal we. We do that every episode. Ask for a check-in.

I just want to know if things are moving, that's all. Things are moving. Yeah. And I have a, we have a completed or nearly completed, what do you call it? Storyboard situation. Okay. You run that shit through an AI. Yeah.

That's what you need. Basically, I mean, the pages have been getting drawn, but also in coinciding with that, we're adding whatever. The point is, I now have a couple people looking at it, reading it, and Dick hates it, and he says it's bad. Well? Wow, I thought you were going to correct me.

I thought you were going to be like, no, it's not bad. Instead, you just went, well. I don't like being set up. It's just a little bit of. What did you think? You've read the script already, and then I made some. I can't read it a third time.

I'm not going to have anything to offer on a third time through. That's fine. You can't read a script that many times. Okay, I get it. Yeah. I gave my notes. That's fine. You can't read a script that many times. Okay, I get it. Yeah. I gave my notes. That's just my opinion. But I'm saying, like,

do you feel positively about it? Yeah, it's great. It's better than ISOM. It is better than ISOM. Although ISOM has that retard factor. You know? It was so bad. It's weird. Yeah. Where you're like, I don't even know what's going on. I have no idea how to process any of this.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to be in, you want to be a great or so bad everybody's talking about you forever. I honestly, you make a good point that if I saw him was even more confusing and crazy, like if he just like got bird wings at the end and like started flying around, I would have been like, wait, is this guy like a secret genius or something? But it doesn't it doesn't reach that level of like narrative retardation. It's just the normal level of narrative retardation

So that's what's that's the danger for you You gotta be great then you gotta come out on the other side. I think it's pretty solid what we got It's about the amount of emotion. You know? Negative or positive. I mean, most of your notes are like, it's not like crucial shit that's like gonna kill the fucking thing. I love wasting people's time. God damn. It's not wasting time. I've implemented

Actually, I did implement one of your notes and now you say it's worse. One. Well, you kind of went all, I don't know, I wouldn't say you implemented it though. I implemented it in a new way, and then it introduced what you, I've identified as you think is a new problem. Honestly, the making of the comic is the fun part. Well, you can't recreate that story.

People try to make stories, but they're just trying to make like, you know, real life stories happen. They try to make it believable. But the reality is actually happened. The problem with pilots is there's a lot of information to set up. And some of it you're gonna go, well, did that make perfect sense? It's like, well, no. It'll be explained a little later, maybe.

You know? Yeah. It's like, why does... It's like with Isom. Why does he have two heads? What are his powers? What are his powers? I would set that up. What are his powers? Right?

But you find out... My guy, you find out some of his powers, you know? But you can leave some of them as a mystery. That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. I said that about Isam as well. The problem with Isam is we don't know any of his powers. Any of his powers.

Except the... We still don't after two books. Maybe he's... You know what? Maybe he's not able to be respected. Have you ever thought about that? I do know that about his character They're not capable of respecting him And that's his curse

His curse of having to handle disrespect Tony from Hack the Movies I think likes that Or he liked the script when I sent it up to him before I hope he likes the updated version Okay tell us about your Wait wait wait let me do the problem first God we have a great Eric

July video to watch Is there a new one that I missed? You're What are you watching his channel? I've been busy this week Working on the fucking comic like crazy What does working on the comic mean? I'm just being worried Did you see the storyboard like I have to draw every page cuz in there July's not doing that

I don't really look at the drawings and comics. Yeah, that's Well, I'm like yeah, I kind of like I get it I asked Nick I'm like well, did you like like the way it's like laid out and like he's like I don't look at the heart I just read the fucking words. The guy's like, aw. What's the point? I looked at Ethan Van Cyber's art. Yeah, well, his art, my, come on.

Damn, that looks awesome. Yeah, I get it. I wish the tits were freakishly big in his comics. That's my only real complaint. He sent me a whole box of, I should give of... Do you want a Cyberfrog toy? Of course. What kind of toy? Action figures.

Well, which one? I don't know. I haven't opened the box yet. Okay. He sent... Why are you laughing? I figured I'd do an... You gotta tear into that shit right away.

No, you gotta unbox it. You gotta do an unboxing like Riley did. Although Riley beat me to it. Riley put up his Cyberfrog unboxing. Yeah. Maybe I'll bring it by the show. Maybe we can unbox it on the show. Okay. Okay. Empty parking unboxing. Yeah. Maybe I'll bring it by the show. Maybe we can unbox it on the show. Okay.

Okay. Empty parking lots. Yeah. Big winner. That was me. Yeah, that was you. That was a good problem. Stranger danger.

That was you. That was me. People still arguing about that? Man, I can't believe they're still arguing about that shit. They will not shut up about it. Isn't it annoying? Yes. Just like, I get it. You're still arguing about that shit. They will not shut up about it. Isn't it annoying? Yes. Just like, I get it.

You don't like what you did. But YouTube is not protecting creators. Yeah, they don't care about you. Why would they? They don't care about any of this shit. Well, no one was harmed also. Yeah, and no one will be harmed. Yeah.

No one's going to go to his house and shoot him because a lady took a picture of his house. I was all amped up to argue with that review tech guy. I couldn't find that video. Did he post it? I think he posted it on another channel of his. I was trying to find it. But we had a really good time. Yeah, after he called me a pedophile.

He called me a pedophile sympathizer or whatever the fuck that means. No, he called you a pedophile. Did he? I think so. Okay. Well, now you guys are friends, so maybe we can get him on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. He called me a pedophile sympathizer, whatever the fuck that means. No, he called you a pedophile. Did he? I think so. Okay. Yeah. Well, now you guys are friends, so maybe we can get him on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. He follows me on Twitter. He follows you, I assume.

He's a fun guy. Yeah, he is a fun guy. I said, I forget something I said. Oh, yeah, I was like, well, you threatened to rape my cock with your mouth. Yeah. How do you know that your fans aren't going to do that? And he was like, well, I don't know. Anything could happen.

Yeah, ReviewTechUSA famously said, why don't I come over there and suck your dick like you want her to? And you're like, I don't understand how this is. What point are you making? Sounds like a rape threat. It is. Yeah, that's a rape threat. Which is worse than taking a picture of someone's house, I would say. That's like guys who, like a guy in the 50s in a movie, like the bad guy in the 50s period

piece. It's like, well, you're going to give it to him. You might as well give some to me. Like, right? Yeah. Well, it's a very aggressive entitled. Except it's not give some to me. It's let me give some to you.

No, he'd be taking it. If she's going to suck your dick, I might as well suck your dick as well That is what it was That was a rape threat Now you guys are friends Don't worry I don't think YouTube's gonna protect me From ReviewTechUSA's aggressive mouth Yeah

Nostalgia Scraping your armpit with deodorant And then Nostalgia64 You got a lot of hate for that one Some people made some points I might agree with. No, I don't know if they did. Look, I think a lot of people were mad I said

Ocarina of Time sucks. I still don't like that game. I understand why some people kind of like it, but... Yeah, because it's great. The story's great. The story is great? We're going to have to compare Super Killer to... What's the story of Ocarina of Time? There's a fucking ocarina, and you blow it, and you

fucking go back to the past. And he's a little boy, but then he goes now he's a big boy, and then he goes back, and he's a little boy. You gotta fix your parents' relationship. All those Zelda games have terrible plots. That's one of the worst parts of the Zelda games. Uh, not the first one. Get a sword. Well, the first one's great, because it has, basically, yeah, the most

bare-bones plot plot the first game is every man's fantasy just to upgrade your sword through a series of challenges yes

and find enough crystals to buy the red candle yeah uh okay sorry

rupees 805 dev says Vito did excellent on kick or keep probably the best guest i've seen on there carried the show dggl i could take over this whole commentary community or whatever this whole debate space uh-huh i could own it in a year if i wanted to are you going to no because these people are insufferable um and they just talk about the most did you hear the topics that they bring up on the show they're great one of them was like what when do you think we should like teach kids about sex education i'm like oh that old chestnut you were hammering

them though yeah because they're all fucking idiots and you were like misrepresenting their representing their points. Oh, yeah, I'm really good at that. That's the best part is like, these guys got no... I think one guy said that he's like, you know what the best thing is? It's like they would try to insult you and it just always rolled off you because you're like, they're like, well, you're a fat piece of shit.

I'm like, yeah, but you're retarded. It's like, yeah, you just gotta, they don't know how to roll. And you kept the woman on, you got to pick who got eliminated and you kept the woman on, which was, that's good gamesmanship. Yeah. Cause I knew she had no chance.

Uh, the one retarded thing I heard you say was that you thought suicide should be legal, but only if someone goes to like a, like a doctor first and gets permission. I felt like that the room wanted to hear that, you know? Okay. Okay, so every round, Destiny is like, Destiny throws out a question. It's like basically the worst party

game you could imagine. Right. A debate topic of sorts. Like the most liberal leftist people imaginable, right? So it's awesome to see you guys fight. And Destiny throws out, I think, suicide or something. Should suicide be legal or something like that? Yeah.

And you said you're for it. I'm like, I'm for it. I think it's your body, your choice. Yeah. You know, and I'm like, but I would want there to be, you know, you have to talk to a mental health professional and whatever else. And I said, what? But in the back of my mind I'm like no You should just be able to fucking kill yourself

So that was a trick Dude I knew I was like I can't go too hard in the paint with the suicide thing Cause then these guys are gonna like Try and cast me as a madman Who wants like a bunch of you know teenagers To kill themselves but Oh god we should be so lucky

God forbid Let's solve that whole free palestine thing in a hurry wouldn't it um i'm surprised i'm surprised i guess i was convincing in my yeah there should absolutely be checks and balances i'm like no man you want off the ride get off the ride i just thought you were like backpedaling but if you were doing it on purpose then that makes sense i was kind of trying to read i know who watches those shows, man. It's a bunch of hand-wringing. Oh, I don't want anyone to hurt themselves. To kill themselves? I might do it if it's legal.

Yeah, exactly. And then you said God, what was the other thing you said? You said if you lost, it was in the finals and they were voting and you said if you didn't win, you would never come back and do the show again and the show sucks without you. You thought that was a bad move or a good move? No, I was laughing.

Yeah, I was like, if I don't win, I'm never coming back and this show will fail. So, vote for a better show. Right after the show ended, we got messages from all the hosts where they're like, you can be on any episode you want. It's the first time this show has worked. So,

I won $500 and I also but I fucked up because apparently they're like, okay, so now we can raid your kick stream. And I'm like, oh, was I supposed to be streaming during this or something? I'm supposed to be on kick. Why would you want that? To just keep talking to people? Well, no, because then you get a bunch of new followers and

subscribers. Oh. But now I do have a kick account and I am streaming on kick. We'll see. Well good job. That's what we'll bring this show after we get banned from YouTube. That's got to be any

day. You got to go on kick or keep. You would have fun on there. I would get out right away. Yeah.

Yeah. I can't. I can't play that game. But that's fun too. That's also fun. Not Smoke says veto unable to acknowledge Goldeneye as good has

me seriously rethinking my patronage as a Vito file plus. Dick, come get me. I like GoldenEye's mission-based structure. It's fun to accomplish a little mini objectives. It's a fucking nightmare. Dude, come on. The controls are... I guess now that you can remake it with...

They do have remakes where it has analog support, but it's still a weirdly designed game. It's so gray too, man. Come on. Like, I have no fucking idea what I'm looking at. Daniel T says Vito ripping on Shad's art when he made that picture for their treatment is hilarious. The difference is I did not take pride in that thing and I did not describe it as a masterpiece. I just said, oh, it's kind of fun and funny. Whatever. You put other people's names

on that, you know. And I took it out when we said to not use it and that's fine. But all those goofy fonts you used, those were still... Those were not goofy. Those are good fonts. Uh, well it's like a weird font. Okay. If you get a thing, it's like a bloop bloop bloop.

Uh, King Cheezus says I got a new vein in my forehead listening to Vito talk about the N64. Ocarina of Time was good because of the story, the music, and the atmosphere. What are you talking about? It has no story. Not because of the walking and the gram fix. You go find three crystals, and then you can play a magic flute. What's the story? Who made the flute?

A secret organization. They don't say. Yeah. Nothing like a story where all this shit just exists. I don't know. I didn't play that game. I didn't have a Nintendo 64. I bet the sages of time made it right.

Yeah. How'd you know that? I don't know. Sovereign says, when you thought Vito's takes couldn't get any worse, you hear him say Pokemon Snap is better than Ocarina. Pokemon Snap is great. That's why they just made a new one on the Switch, which I need to get.

I hate Vito so much. He says, okay. Thanks for adding that. Just remember that this is what Sniper Sheep, oh boy, J Reds, this is what Sniper Sheep looks like without all that makeup and Botox and non-prescription glasses.

So did he send a picture of her looking ugly? Yes. Well looking like a normal woman. But I don't know what the non-prescription glasses have to do with it. I guess he's saying, well, when you have those big frames, they give you those anime looking eyes. Maybe that's what he's saying, well, when you have those big frames, they give you those anime-looking eyes. Maybe that's what he's saying.

Oh, okay. Well, uh, don't send me pictures of ugly women. I saw pictures of, uh, I probably shouldn't say it. Somebody was posting, like, old pictures of, uh, that Star Wars girl. I'm not saying she was... So you're picking fights. No, no, no, I'm not, though.

Funny that. I don't know if it was actually her, picking fights. No, no, no, I'm not, though. Funny that. I don't know if it was actually her, but, like, is she, like, Indian? I don't know. She's white, I think. Bro, I saw, like, pictures of her. I think she's, like, Indian or something. And just putting on, like, some sort of... What?

Yeah. I mean, I could be crazy. I think it was, like, her yearbook photos. She think it was like her yearbook photos. She had those like big Indian eyebrows. No, no, no, no, no. That's fine. I didn't say she was ugly. I'm just saying.

Big Indian eyebrows. What's that mean? I'm just saying she had very thick eyebrows. She clearly plucks them now. I think she's like Indian or something. What's her last name? I don't know. Anna.

Kasparian. No, it's not Kasparian. The Mighty Thorus is the only good thing eric the grifter july ever did was introduce me to this insanely funny show if it wasn't for him i never would have heard about digging veto eric makes shitty comics but his stupidity brings laughter to the world the chat says she's portuguese oh she's portuguese oh okay how brown is the portuguese um pretty white i, I guess. Yeah, they're Caucasian, I think. I don't know. Maybe it was because it was an old photo. It looked like brown.

Maybe she was doing blackface. Like Trudeau. Either way, she looks good now. And she looked good back then as well. I'm really fucking this up. I just thought it was interesting to see. Don't worry. They all think you're a pedophile.

It doesn't matter. You're right. I probably shouldn't say anything about her old yearbook photos. Well, guys, does that bring me to my favorite segment? Uh-huh. Can you guys give some energy to these fucking... No more Scarborough Fair. Give me some rock anthems.

What about this one? What do we got? Vote it up. You're gonna go to biggest problem. I've already heard this one. You're gonna... Shit. I'm pretty sure you've heard that one.

How about this one? You're so inside and so... You've already heard this one. Shit. I'm pretty sure you've heard that one. How about this one? You've already heard both of these? I think we're... How about this one? I don't know if we've heard this one. Okay. The chat will tell us. We're hearing it again anyway if we do hear it.

Go vote. I don't care how. I don't care if you like it or you disavow. Keep that in mind when you're trying to vote. Go to the website biggestproblem.show. Votes are a valuable thing. Seth Rogen, IRS, and Rook Marketing. Watch them tick up till the end of the week

when Vito's in the lead but then Dick has to cheat. Tweeting out to the guys from the Dick Show. Obviously his votes but he's mad at Joe. Trying to hold on but didn't even know. Killing your dog just to watch you vote. Vito's coming out here trying to be fair. Sucking his dicks from an expert. Heard it.

All right. That's. I didn't. I mean, I didn't remember. Oh, whatever. We can't hear it again. That's a good one, though. I'm sorry, my lord and savior.

That's a good one. That's my mistake. That's my poor management mistake. Well, now we know. And knowing is half the power Well Dick Got some great voted ups for you Of course this is a segment

Where we revisit past problems Uh huh And put them in a new light Dick All the way back in episode six We had the problem of Silver alerts Do you remember what

Silver alerts are? Yeah old people Old people Right And then we have amber alerts Those are fine Kids Kids

Okay Gonna give you the new type of alert Just try to Blue alerts too Old people, right? And then we have Amber Alerts. Those are fine. Kids. Kids. Okay. I'm going to give you the new type of alert. Just try to infer. Blue alerts, too. Blue alerts if cops are in trouble. What would you think if I told you that California is enacting a new law to implement ebony alerts? Hmm. Ebony.

Ivory, of course, being. It's like a bike missing? No, it's not a missing bike. We could ask you now. No, I don't think he's going to know. I've been sounding the ebony alert for some time. Yeah, you have been sounding the ebony alert. It's been a big problem.

Are there degrees of it? Ebony? Obsidian? Onyx? Scott, this is not what you think it is. The other one is a Spanish word that I can't say. Okay, well, I'm glad you can't say that. Please don't say that on this show.

Scott, this is not what you think it is, okay? This is an alert notification system to address the crisis of missing black children and women. So there you go. Where are they missing from? I'm gonna move there. Sign me up for the ebony alerts. I'm moving in.

Bing, bing, bing, bing. Old Scott is moving in. Here comes the neighborhood. Stop. That's terrible. Scott. Here comes the neighborhood. Stop. That's terrible. Scott, did you know about a hundred... What else is missing? You should not be making jokes.

This is terrible, Scott. 141,000 black children under the age of 18 went missing in 2022. Can you believe it? Oh, wow. How many dads went missing? They don't track that. Maybe they were out looking for them like Elf. Remember that movie?

Merry Christmas, Vito. Scott. This is fucking terrible. And also, according to the Black and Missing Foundation, missing black people are less likely than white people to have their stories highlighted in the media. So if a black person goes missing, less news attention will be paid to that.

Why is that? Why do you think that is, Vito? You know, maybe it's just systemic racism, Scott, that is preventing society from trying to find these missing black people. They should lure them out, like the Tyrannosaurus in Jurassic Park. How They should lure them out, like the Tyrannosaurus in Jurassic Park. How would you lure them out, Scott? Vito, I have no idea. That's the right answer.

That's the right answer, Scott. Alright, goodbye. Goodbye. That was Scott Alden. Ebony Alerts? Of Dilbert. Why don't they just call them Black Alerts? Like, Ebony's like the magazine. It. Why don't they just call them Black Alerts? I don't know. Like, Ebony's like the magazine. It is a little...

The fancy magazine. It's a little... Black people. Well, they don't call them old people alerts. They call them silver alerts. I guess you gotta use a color, kind of. But black is a color, so... But amber's like a little...

Do they think that... Amber's also a color, huh? Do they think it's a color? I mean, I guess they think it... It's not a color. It's supposed to be the name of her, but I guess now they're going, well, amber's also a color, huh? Do they think it's a color? I mean, I guess they think it's... It's not a color. It's got her name. Yeah, it's supposed to be the name of her, but I guess now they're going, well, Amber's also a color.

It's like a retcon. So they're color coding them now. Ebony, huh? Well, Dick... They have a dead wife alert. What about that? I don't think they have those. Party alert.

Bing bong. Hello. Divorce alert. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. What are they going to do when they get to the Chinese alert and the Asian alert and they know they want to use yellow, but they're not allowed to? Math alert. Yeah, math alert.

Well, Dick, silver alerts are currently number 100 on the board, right? Even 100 with 441 upvotes. And don't forget to go vote it up. Here's another problem you might remember. Okay. This is actually a recent one from our biggest problem in summer bonus episode. All right. Available at patreon.com slash biggest problem.

This was my problem. Having to use sunscreen. That was a weird problem. It is a weird problem. But I think it's going to make a lot more sense after you hear this from Representative Alexandra Osasio-Cortez. Osasio? I don't know how to pronounce her name. Really?

What's her name? Ocasio? What is it? Ocasio. Ocasio? Yeah. What did I say? Osasio?

Osasio. That's close enough. Well, AOC, as she's more popularly known, which is why i can't pronounce her name is currently lobbying congress to change fda laws to improve sunscreen products sold in the united states did you know that in other countries european and asian countries they have gotten all sorts of new exciting uv filters that makes their sunscreen infinitely better. Our sunscreen has not been updated since 1999. The problem is our country... That's a long time ago?

Shit. Yeah. Sunscreen in our country is regulated as a drug rather than a cosmetic with long FDA approval weights on testing. Thank God that nobody's selling fucking poison to kids. We got all these regulations. So we're literally getting cancer from going outside. You have a good point there.

Thank the fucking FDA for that. You have a good point there. Thank the fucking FDA for that. You have a good point there. Big government voted up, right? In America, there are only 16 approved active ingredients for use in sunscreens. Well, in the European Union, they have up to 48 allowed UV filters. This year, the American Cancer Society says up to 3.3 million Americans have been diagnosed with skin cancer. Yeah.

So, not only is having to use sunscreen a problem, that's the problem is that it's, we probably, they have sunscreen that doesn't burn your eyes when you put it on. It's much nicer. They love it, actually. Yeah. Squirt it right in your eyeballs.

You got to go to the other countries to get the good, good sunscreen. That problem currently number 328 with 148 upvotes. Actually currently tied with Texas legal myths. Another recent problem. That seems to keep coming up. I think that was an Eric July problem. Man, I hope they get those laws changed so he can kill Riley next time that Riley comes over

and pulls up. Did Riley actually go to the grave or was that another photo? I don't know. I just know what I see on the internet, man. Riley says he went to the grave. I don't know if he just know what I see on the internet, man. Riley says he went to the grave. I don't know if he pulled somebody else's photo. So what are you fucking matlock for Riley's photos? I just think if he went to the grave, he would have done something like take a video or something.

So you're trying to, so if there is some kind of a switcheroo, you're trying to underline it. For what purpose? Just to expose one or either of them? Riley's a friend. Uh-huh. I love it. I fucking love it. No, I'm not trying to undermine him.

I don't know. I didn't know if he posted it as a goof, you know? Uh-huh. Okay, fine. Riley went to every grave, and he dug up the bones, and he sucked on them like a chicken sandwich. This has been Voted Up, folks. Thanks for coming by. What's this one? I don't care how I don't care if you like it or you disavow Keep that in mind when you're trying to vote

Go to the website biggestbrother.co Votes are available things Seth Rogen, Iris, who are marketing Watch them tick up till the end of the week when Venus in the lead

with empty glasses Tweeting out to the guys Probably blasting everybody right now Probably to his folks but he's mad at Joe Trying to hold on but didn't even know

Check, check That's probably the best Watch you go Thank you Thank you to Malort and Savior We need some more fucking bits I don't know if I Or Thanks Well I tried to bring in my

Dick's Twitter bit But that fell on it's fucking face Oh the Unblock me? No I mean I mean Voted up Voted up So I need to make some more myself Well you bit, but that fell on its fucking face. Oh, the unblock me? No, I mean voted up things. Oh, more voted up, so I need to make some more myself.

Well, because you relied on Lofty. To make a bit happen? Yeah. It wasn't an indictment against Lofty. You really screwed that bit up. Maybe somebody else. You shit all over it. I should have listened to it ahead of time and been like, well, this is not going to work. I wanted to be surprised.

Come on, you were. Well, I guess I wasn't that surprised, honestly. I wasn't like, oh, that's Lofty Pixels for you. Fucking bringing anything exciting to a screeching halt. You're the big winner. I am the big winner. You got to block him. Everybody should block Lofty.

If you haven't blocked Lofty, you got to go block Lofty. What is that guy? So he's like the quarterings Like meme guy Block the quartering too You don't need to know about this Cartoons SJWs and cartoons

The quarterings like post I haven't been getting a lot of I haven't gotten a lot of views lately I don't know what's wrong, what do you guys want me to talk about? Anything other than coffee ads Why don't know what's wrong. What do you guys want me to talk about? I'm like, anything other than coffee ads, man. Yeah, why don't you talk about something you're... Why don't you just have your actual honest opinion instead of having to poll the audience as to what they're into

and then making a hundred videos. You know what it was? He made like a thousand videos about that stupid Bud Light shit. Ugh. I think everybody's like, dude, I can't watch this every day. I'm done. Oh my God. Who cares?

Free Palestine. Free Palestine. Free Palestine. Has anybody lost their job for supporting Israel? Probably. Hamas, probably. No. What do you call it? Tara Strong, voice actress.

She said, I support Israel, and she got canned? She basically said- Or did she say, kill all- No, she didn't say that. But she responded to some tweet, wherever. She basically said Or did she say kill all No she didn't say that but she like responded To some tweet wherever And everybody said well that tweet says all Muslims are terrorists but it didn't really

Say that you know What was her response? What was her response? She said like you know you gotta support Israel or something And then there's this like stupid Somehow I doubt that that's what She's Jewish she's a Jewish lady. What do you expect? Okay, this is another problem.

Maybe I should do this problem. By all means, do it. You know what? Your subtlety intact is above bar none. So I think you should do it. Here's my problem. Jewish problem. People expecting Jews to not be Jews. Okay?

Okay? Don't give me that face. Stop it. Okay. So Jews... There's no need to worry about ads on the channel anymore. No, look. This is not what you think it is.

It doesn't matter what I think it is. All right, so I have an anecdote. Shut up. Nothing racist has ever started like that. It's not racist, okay? Okay. I knew this guy, you know. What was his name?

His name was Alex Jaffe. Okay. Okay. He's a very devout Jewish guy. Where's the What was his name? His name was Alex Jaffe. Okay. He's a very devout Jewish guy. Where's the yarmulke? Every day. Well, very devout is like the hat, the Heisenberg hat with the curls. Not so much the curls. Okay. I feel like there was a period of time where he

might have done the curls. I think he pulled back. Did he have a light switch that somehow is not turning on the light during Shomer Shabbos? Have you seen that? No. The fake light switch. Because they can't turn on lights? Yeah, but it turns the light on. How does that work? I've heard

about that. Lies. So, wait, is it a light switch or not? Well, you do it and the light goes on. Okay, but like there's something else that makes the light go on, so technically you're not turning on the light. Electricity. Yeah, well, that's what doesn't make any sense. It's like one of these.

I'm going to come at you spinning my hands, and if the light turns on, I'm still Shomer Shabbos. You've never watched the Kosher Light Switch video? No, I haven't actually. I've heard about it. It'll clear a lot of things up. You watch that and you go, oh, oh, I see. I see how about it. It'll clear a lot of things up. You watch that and you go, oh. Oh, I see. I see how this happened.

Is that on Saturdays or is that Sundays? Saturdays. Every Saturday? Yeah. So, very devout Jewish guy. Obviously. And he was doing a podcast with some guys one of whom is like... Hamas guys? No, not Hamas

guys, but one of whom is quite possibly, I don't, and I don't, you know, I never use this term, but I'm going to use this term social justice warrior. This is the only guy who I'm 100% comfortable using that term. This guy was like the absolute fucking definition of that word. Okay. And this was like years ago when Israel was fighting with Palestine. I don't know if you've heard about this. How many years ago? Like 2,000?

2,500 years ago? 2,000 years ago. 3,000 years ago? I think this exact incident was 10 years ago. You know what I love? When they're talking about how old the fight is. This land was all Israel one time. Well, that was like 200 guys. Now it's like millions. Look at this. Simba. It's like, well, that was like 200 guys. Now it's like millions.

You know, it's not. Look at this. Simba, it's as far as the eye can see. Like, yeah, there's like 12 of you. So that's fine. As long as you have natural gas deposits now. It's not really the same. Now it's a bit different.

Anyway, something had happened. Somebody had bombed somebody. I don't remember the exact details. This one guy, the super social justice type guy went right well that's that's israel for you uh-huh that that awful israel oh the sjw yeah the sjw guys yeah they're anti-israel yeah and this other guy america and he's like this other guy my jewish buddy he's like a young guy i think he's like, this other guy, my Jewish buddy, he's like a young guy, I think he's like his 20s, and he goes, well, I'm actually a fan of Israel. And the other guy loses his mind. See, that's exactly how he would say it, too.

Actually, I'm a fan of, like, oh, boy, oh, jeez, I bet you didn't know this. I mean, he's like a young guy, a strictly devout Jewish household wears the hat every day. Uh-huh. And can you believe it? Yeah. He's on the side of Israel. Isn't that shocking? Does he have a light switch?

I think he probably has a light switch. He probably does. Somehow this turned into, and you've dealt with this, a long-running podcast with 100 episodes in the bank. Oh. Immediately firing him, who was like the moderator of the co-host, the Jewish guy. Fired the Jewish guy?

Yeah. Oh. Because he said, I can't work. They just can't catch a break. Jesus. Shut up. Jewish guy getting fired from entertainment? Yeah, yeah.

It's not supposed to happen. Oh, God. Well, is he okay? He was okay. Okay. And somehow years later, they mended the rift, and I don't know exactly what happened there. But they're very forgiving people.

Again, at the time I said, well, what did you expect the Jewish guy to think about Israel? What did you think he was going to say about the situation? Yeah, I love it. Did you think he was going to say, yeah, I fucking hate Israel. It's the worst. It's full of all these Jews. Yeah, but Mexicans don't do that. Like, I...

No, it's not real. Yeah. No, if you talk shit about Mexico, don't Mexicans get upset? You can't talk shit. No, I don't care. Mexico sucks. That's why we're leaving.

Well, that is true. The problem with Mexico... Fuck Mexico. Oh, Mexico is full of, like... We don't even have any nukes. The difference is that Mexican people don't want to go to Mexico. Jewish people want to go to Israel. Why aren't they there?

They go there. They go on birthright. Go check it out. I mean, I go to Tijuana. Yeah, it's awesome. All my Jewish friends got a free vacation to fucking birthright or whatever. They get to walk around and learn. What's that?

What's that all about? You know, do you know birthright though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's because they want it's because they know that a certain percentage of young jewish people are going to become old rich jewish people yeah so the state of israel is like come check it out i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure that you can't say that and then when you make you know millions upon millions of dollars it's like hey why don't you send us a little something or if

you get into a position where you can censor people on the internet, like, oh, why don't you tip this? Why don't you help us out? Why don't you ban a couple people? Why don't you? Why don't you help us out? Do you get upset when Italy suffers? Do you even know what's going on in Italy?

They have like an economic crisis recently. You ever get- I mean, I don't know. I'm not like very in tune with what's going on with Italy. The Italian-American community is not really too connected to the actual... I mean, I guess some parts of it are.

Yeah. At this point, you're so many years removed. But Israel's like new and fresh and fun. You know? Israel's like new and fresh and fun. Yeah. I thought you guys had it for thousands of years. Yeah. Yeah.

Also that as well. Also that. See if I flick this light switch. The lights go on, but I didn't flick the switch. They rebooted Israel. Okay. That's what happened. Okay.

It's a modern day. It's a she boot. Very edgy reboot. It's a she boot. They got all those bitches and their TikTok thing. God, I fucking hate that. And all these Jewish people are like, man, I'm so glad they brought it back. And it's actually pretty fresh and fun.

And I don't know why anybody's upset with it. It's basically Star Wars. You should glass Gaza. Like, oh, you know, I guess, of course. That's what they're. Hey, at least we got a sequel. Yes, of course. That's what they're... Hey, at least we got a sequel.

Do you think if you were Israeli, you would be kind of pissed at the American Jews for boosting this sense that there should be a war? If I was Israeli in Israel, I would go, hey, can you guys, can you Jews on the right shut the fuck up? Because I'm the one getting rocket slobbed at me out of water pipes. Why don't you guys shut your fucking mouths unless you're going to come over here and be my human shield? I don't know how they feel in Israel. I think they're...

They don't like it. You think they're worried about what the Americans are saying? They do not want to go to war. They do not like their government there. It's very similar to here. About half of them are like, man, fuck these guys. Fuck this shit. I'm tired of getting shot.

Did you see we just... America just bombed some targets in Iran? Oh. That'll be fun. Your guy. That's your guy. That's my guy. Biden. I love that guy.

Let's go, Joe. The point I was trying to make is, look, you know, we love, we all love the Jews, obviously. Some people are, you know, worried about political disagreements they might have with the Jewish people. I'm worried about bank account disagreements. That's something you can worry about. Yeah. Like getting it moved. It doesn't necessarily have to involve Jews.

That can involve anyone. Right. You're right. How stupid of me. How stupid of you. How silly of you. But the problem is, I'm actually afraid of white people who are getting, it's like somebody messes with a white guy's girlfriend and he

gets all amped up and wants to kick someone's ass. That's like Israel. White Christians in America are like, you guys fuck with this? I gotta beat the fuck out of someone. I'm like, uh, dude you need to calm down. You're not related to this at all other than your fucking fairy tale book about Armageddon. Yeah, so the Christian

relationship with Jewish people is really weird. I remember my grand... It's like Master Blaster. I remember my grandfather was like kind of the same way. Actually, my step-grandfather. Yeah.

Thankfully, none of that weirdo... He was a weirdo. Blood got into me. Yeah. I got different weirdo blood. But he was always like, well, the Jews are God's chosen people. I'm like, well, if that's true, why don't you become Jewish?

And he's like, well. Couldn't possibly. Because. Yeah, it's like this weird thing where they're like, well, they're still kind of on our side for some reason because we kind of believe in the same God. And you're like, well, the Muslims believe in the same God, too. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

that doesn't count at all. That's completely different. Yeah, no, no, no, no. That doesn't count. That doesn't count at all. That's completely different. Yeah, it's like this weird, I don't know if they consider, do Christians consider themselves the keepers of the Jews? Like, we gotta carve out

a little space for them. that the coming of Jesus will happen if Israel wins. Yeah. Like, whatever they're doing over there. Why?

That Jesus Christ will come out. Just for fun? Because he's, because white guys love cunty women that shit test them all the time. So their God or whatever Jesus is with the long hair, a little gay to me, is shit testing them before he comes back. There's a lot of tests.

And it will be the end of the world. So they can laugh at people like me who don't care. Did you ever read any of that Left Behind or watch the movies? Do you know that series? No. It's a Christian fiction series about what happens when the rapture occurs. I've read The Langoliers. Is it like that?

I don't know. The Langoliers are cool. It's like Pac-Man. It's not like that at all. Cool book. No. I think they're as cool as Pac-Man. It's not like that at all. They made one movie with... Fuck! Who's the guy who's in every movie? Con Air.

Nicolas Cage? Nicolas Cage was in the first movie in the Left Behind installment before they realized there wasn't enough Christians to make it a real movie, so then Kirk Cameron took over for the rest of the installments. Ah. Yeah. He played like an airplane pilot in the middle of flying the airplane. Half the airplane disappears because the rapture is happening.

Hmm. That's what happened to the Langoliers. Yeah. Okay. Better though. Well, the point is that that book. The cop from House was in that movie, I think. Oh.

Well, this was, again, Christian fiction, which is all about a bunch of weird stuff's going to happen in Israel. And it's very important. And we, the Christians Christians need to make sure that it goes down properly there we're a little off topic my original topic was I don't even think you should say it again

it's the same with Tara Strong it's like everyone's like I can't believe that this voice act this Jewish lady in Hollywood supports Israel and I'm like you kids got some learning to do yeah but they've been saying for a long time, like, they've been playing

very fast and loose with the race card. Who has? Jewish Americans. In Hollywood. They're like, as white people, we all need to realize that we should vote for, like, well, wait a minute. You can't claim both. Does that switch work or not? Is it turning lights on? Realize that we should vote for like well wait a minute

You can't claim both Does that switch work or not? Do I get all this stuff you guys were getting because we're in the same camp now Boy I see a lot of young people. They're like I can't believe the voice of I think she's the voice of Pinkie Pie Yeah, what's she saying? Tara strong Do't believe Pinkie Pie. Look it up. Tara Strong. Do you know how to spell her name? Yeah.

Strong? Yeah. Tara can be a weird name. Strong. Israel. Palestine. Or Palestine. Tara Strong removed from Aminated Series Botox before.

It's not called Botox. It's called Box Town. Damn, that bitch is hot For a voice So they issued a statement And again this is a show That's like crowdfunded What's it say? That was what it was

Kind of stupid Let's see Strong reportedly Liked a tweet That equated all Muslims To Hamas and ISIS The tweet read Islam is a real

Clear and present danger Well she liked a tweet to Hamas and ISIS. The tweet said, Islam is a real, clear, and present danger. Well, she liked a tweet. She didn't tweet the tweet. What's she doing lagging the tweets like that? I mean, if that said,

Christianity is a real and present danger, that would be okay to like that, right? I mean, yeah. And if it said, Judaism was a real

and present danger, it would be wrong to like that tweet and you would go to jail. Yeah, I guess. Why do they always hide this stuff? Why can't they just put the stuff on Twitter? The actual tweet? Yeah, I know. I mean, the reason it was stupid, though, is that it was like a crowdfunded cartoon

and she's like kind of helping out like a little fan project. Well, they can't like deal with the controversy like this. Well, they can't deal with it because there are a bunch of 20-year-olds making it and all their friends go, she's a bigot and you need to cancel her. Yeah. And us who are adults who know that Jewish people working in the entertainment industry. Don't say us and then say shit about Jewish people. We understand this.

I don't know. Eric Shillai threatens to sue you again. You're going to be right back in the bathroom throwing up. We understand that Jewish professionals often feel a certain way about Israel. For those who support the actions of Hamas when they infiltrate your hometown on your... Is this really what she said? Yes. When they infiltrate your hometown on your soil, break into Jewish homes, raping, beheading innocent babies.

What? You will applaud them? Will you wave their flag while they slaughter Christians and Muslims who don't believe their ideologies what the fuck about Hamas it's not about Muslims well it's kind of reframing everybody who doesn't think that people that children should live in a concentration camp as like supporting rape the children are not Hamas well they're getting fucking bombed like they're that whole human shield thing kind of throws that argument out of the window.

You guys are just going after the Hamas, yeah? Yeah, and they're human shields. They're what now? Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill himself said that he supports Israel. So, which side do you want to be on? Did he say it like that? Did he use the word rape in his tweet?

She's a woman. She's going to get a little hyperbolic. What are you going to do? A little, uh, you know. She didn you going to do? A little, you know. She didn't say we got to bomb these, you know, bastards back to the Stone Age. If I was Jewish, I'd be more offended that you're lumping in some woman as me. I wouldn't do that shit. So what is my problem called?

Let the Jews be Jews? Let the Jews be Jews. All right. My problem is mass shooters. How's that a problem? So annoying. Every time there's a mass shooting. The annoyance.

You get told that you have a small dick because you like guns. Is that really nice? That's the problem? Every time there's a mass shooting. They call people with guns have small dicks. I get called a small, I have a small dick. Like, well, is this, I'm feeling a little shooty over here. Of all the problems involved in mass shootings,

is that the top of your list? Is it someone has accused you of having a small penis? Well, it's like the exhaustion and the predictability of the mass shooting rhetoric has reached a point now where it's indistinguishable from AI. Like, oh, somebody goes on a mass shooting. How could this happen? Well, because, you know, everyone is annoying. That's how. Oh, we need more mental health. Okay. I hate that all you guys are here. What's the, you got a mental health fix for that? Well, it's because your dick

is small. All right, man, we got Alright, man. We gotta do something about this. You guys haven't done anything about anything. Ever. Like, a couple guys have done a couple things, but you haven't done shit. So, I don't know what you're... What should they do? What should happen? It's... Nothing. What is the big fucking deal?

It's just... And then the guy... It's kind of a big deal. There's a mass shooting in Detroit every weekend and no one gets upset. Because that's happening to fucking black people, man. Don't you understand how media works? That's why. Because this is like a fucking horror house happening all the time.

White people are like, oh my god! A mass shooting can happen anytime! This is so exciting! Right? Yeah. God. Black people are just used to it is what you're saying. White people can't imagine themselves in Detroit. Because they would never go there. So they don't give a fuck if there's mass shootings happening in Detroit.

It might as well be on Mars. There's a big mass shooting at a library on Mars. Every white person. I would never be in a library. White people go to Chicago. There are a lot of shootings there. Suburbs. Yeah. I guess there's parts of Chicago you don't go to. The Cosby Show, I think, was in Chicago.

I don't know. Probably. I went to Chicago. How'd you do? Had a lot of Italian beef sandwiches. How many a day? Two. Two a day?

Maybe one. Two for lunch? It's been a while since I've been. We should do a live show in Chicago. No. Come on, Chi-town? It's been a while since I've been. We should do a live show in Chicago. No. Come on, Chi-Town. It's hard, man. It's hard getting those venues in cities like that.

Yeah, fair enough. Mental health awareness, then people blaming video games. It's like, all right. Then people defending video games. Like, actually, video games don't cause it. Okay, well, I mean, they probably do a little bit. Okay, here's the actual worst part of mass shooting. I'm going to do a little bit, man.

Come on. Here's the actual worst part. I know how to work those guns because of video games. I mean, yeah. Video games have definitely put- Don't take the video games, but probably a little bit. Sometimes, did you see that video of that guy who drove his car, like, through a parade or something? Yeah.

I was like, shit, that's just like playing GTA, man. Of course. I feel that. Yeah. Just drive up on the sidewalk. It doesn't matter. Watching videos. Yeah.

People aren't smart to distinguish between video games and real life, really. Especially not until they get up to the point, oh, shit, I actually got to shoot people? Uh-oh. Here's the real problem is just pick a better venue. Why are you going to a bowling alley? Oh, yeah, I can't. Yeah, right. A bowling alley is already sad, first of all. Anyone hanging out in a bowling alley is not

living their best life. That's the worst part. Pick a better buddy. There's a lot of government buildings that I don't want to see anything happen at. And they should be doing a lot of research there to figure out where these guys are going is how I was going to finish that sentence.

The Europeans chime in. Like, oh god, here's a European talking about how they don't have this problem. And then guys come in saying, well, fuck you, Europe. Oh man, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. You ever get the European tourists come over and they're like, how worried do I need to be about getting caught in a mass shooting? That's fine. Because there wasn't just a mass shooting. I'm only concerned about the mass shooting and the things that happen around it.

Like people saying your dick is tiny. When does that ever happen? Other than mass shooting. Hey, that guy's a tiny dick. What the fuck? What did I do? What the fuck? I didn't do the fuck? What the fuck? I didn't do the mass shooting.

Well. Why wasn't there, there needs to be a good guy with a gun there. Like, well, I mean, that's funny and all. Like,

I get that it's like a, it's like, razzes them up to say that, but who even cares? Here's a thought. Who fucking cares? Here's a part of mass shootings that maybe are terrible

is the 22 victims who are now dead. Oh, wow. Yeah. A bummer. Real downer. Thanks a lot. Well, I guess I better think real hard about that.

Oh, man. I'm going to set aside time in my day and be real grateful for my life. I'm just saying. And all the TV I get to watch. Oh, thanks, God. The show is a lot harder when you've lost all interest in life. It's just fucking dumb. It's more entertainment products on TV that are so boring.

It is hard to pretend to care about anything anymore. You're like, yeah, well, I guess they're going to die anyway. Guys, we got to do something about this. Like, man, why don't you lose fucking 20 pounds over there talking about doing something about guns? Fuck you. Yeah. It is kind of exciting that the guy got away. Here's what I was thinking the problem with mass shootings are, is that...

Well, mass shootings are bad. But the problem with this one is the guy got away. So he's exposing the incompetence of government, which is good. So I'm like, shit. I see what you're saying. I'm like, well, obviously I hate what he did. But it's kind of cool that he's making the cops and the FBI look like fucking idiots. That's true.

That's the cool part of it. That's true, man. I can't watch movies like Silence of the Lambs anymore. Yeah, because you want the cops to fuck up. Yeah, I want them to get away. I'm like, go hit her. Hit her. Come on.

Don't fucking talk! You got the night vision on, man! Just kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Ah, fuck! I'm like, I wish he hadn't killed all those people, but now that he did it and it's already done, I hope that he makes the FBI look really stupid.

Like, they gotta look for him for a while. And women were losing weight that summer in Silence of the Lambs because he was going after fat girls so he could make their skin, right? Yeah, he needed extra skin And that was on the news and girls were going like Oh shit I gotta lose 20 pounds Lickety split I gotta get away from this fucking buffalo bill killer

Wait hold on They just found his body apparently Oh they found him dead An hour ago No manifesto I bet too Cocktease there Let's read Shit I thought he got away on a boat I was excited, like he was just gonna go live on an island for like ten years.

No, cause they're crazy. They're not going anywhere. They're fucking lunatics. Yeah, but why kill yourself? Why not? Yeah, I don't know, cause you can have more fun fucking around. I mean, why'd he do it in the first place? No manifesto comes out, so Cocktee's there there Manifesto comes out It's boring as shit Not proofread at all Not workshopped I bet that trans ladies manifesto

Is really well written And that's why they're not gonna release it Cause it's gonna convince a lot of people To what? Do shootings? Yeah, a trans mass shooter The one who went to like a school Yeah

It's probably It's probably like Probably cause the cops raped her Why don't they write like I would write like a manifesto Like novel you know Like you gotta read my whole book That's a good idea

That is what I'm kind of doing I kind of already wrote that Yeah You gotta read Super Killer It's like oh that comic book by that guy Who climbed that clock tower and murdered all those people I can see it And all the answers as to why he did? I can see it. Huh. Yeah.

And all the answers as to why he did it. I can see that he also argued with notes that were given to him. No. I didn't argue with the notes. I just... There's certain things. You don't have to explain everything about a hero in the first fucking chapter. You don't have to do any of my notes. It's not my book. I like your notes. I'm using your notes.

Um. And then you gotta read like the The thoughts and prayers stuff Everybody's so funny It's like this is a greeting card man Stop please stop Yeah we've now reached the part of thoughts and prayers Then mocking thoughts and prayers

That we're now reached the mocking The mocking of thoughts and prayers part Too much And it's like how meta can our society come Without collapsing inward on itself? More. It's got to be a little bit more. A little bit more.

We're getting there. Well, that's my problem. Mass shooters. Well, guys, order Super Killer now so you'll have a souvenir once I move to Maine and lose my mind. No, we're going to be fine. Well, now I've got to pick between two different problems, and I think I will pick...

You've got to pick the light-hearted one, because your first one was so heavy. Like a sitcom. You can't do two heavy problems in a row. Well... You know what? Do what you want! Do whatever you want! Well, I've got to do this this one because i actually need help from the

audience although i know when i say that i've already gotten way too many messages and it's driving me nuts but maybe somebody will beat their way through the noise and tell me what to do here so i've been trying to get uh testosterone don't laugh. Why are you laughing? Why are we laughing at that? Because you put the call out, I hope someone will help me with this. I hope you're not more explicit as you talk about this problem.

Well, I mean, they can send me legal advice or like legal links or whatever. Maybe Kethel's could help. So, and it's been this like constant awful game of fucking telephone between my actual doctor and this like online doctor. Cause I tried to do it like semi normal. Yeah. Semi legally or what it is legal. It's like, yeah, get a, get a blood work done.

And then we have a guy who looks at your blood work and then what? And then he said, I need more blood work. So I got a more blood work. And then we send the blood work in and he goes, this blood work came back. Didn't make any sense. You got to get it again. And then I need to know from your doctor but i've gone through all this and finally after like six months of this he goes yeah i can't approve you for testosterone i'm like why you looked at my shit it says i need it basically based on the whatever he's like

yeah well i don't know there's just like some stuff in your chart I don't like and blah, blah, blah, blah. So my problem is doctors who will not give you drugs that you very much want based on very stupid reasons that they've come up with. Like, oh, I don't know. Even though it's like a naturally occurring compound, it might possibly interfere. Okay? Because all we want is drugs, right? Right. We just want them.

Yeah. And for some reason, wanting them is considered suspicious and wrong, even though why would we not want them? You tell us that a thing exists that has properties that makes our bodies better or makes us function better. Right. You go, oh, I want that. I go, whoa, buddy, that's drug-seeking behavior right there.

Yeah. Like, yeah, I am seeking drugs. And they're like, well, I can't give you drugs if you're- It's your whole fucking job. What do you mean seeking behavior? What are you here for? I can't give you drugs if you're seeking drugs. Well, then what the fuck, why the hell is the point of all of this?

What is all of this? What's this big building for then, buddy? Fixing broken legs? We need to. I'm actually glad we live in an age. People are telling me I got to talk to the PKA guys because they have like a testosterone doctor guy who helps people out or something. Mexico.

Yeah. Just order it from Mexico on WhatsApp. I got to ask somebody because they're supposedly like a pill form. I'm worried about my sperm. No, the pill sperm no uh the pill testosterone the pill i think is uh will fuck up your liver big time well i don't know i'm not a fucking well that's why i want to talk to you about steroids i would like to talk to an actual doctor to get some advice because i do tech i might have fatty liver but it doesn't make sense

because the doctor's like well i'm worried you might have fatty liver and then i looked online and they're like one of the reasons you get fatty liver is from having low testosterone. And I'm like, well, what is this cocksucker doing then? The reason I have the fatty liver is because I don't have the testosterone. Uh-huh. And it's like, yeah, but now that you have it, I don't, you know. And I'm like, oh, my fucking God. Also, I just want it, whatever.

It doesn't matter. I don't care. I don't care if my liver gets poisoned and I die. I've decided I want it. Yeah. I want it. I want it. Give it doesn't matter I don't care I don't care if my liver gets poisoned I die I've decided I want it yeah I want it I want it give it to me

if only the government wasn't there and if you say that to a doctor they go well that sounds like drugs you sound now like an addict

or like a drug a pill popper yeah same shit like trying to get a I got like some version of Ritalin type shit just so I can work better

how many drugs are you on? Not that many. And I don't remember to take them ever. Oh, mercy. That's my worst. Well, the problem is my brain's all fucked and I'm like, I'm trying to find pills. Just set a calendar alert.

I try. I try. I don't know. What happened with that? I can't get on like a regular sleep schedule. I'll set like all these alarms and shit. What's a regular sleep schedule? I want to wake up these alarms and shit. What's a regular sleep schedule? I want to wake up at like nine in the morning, eight in the morning.

Eight? Ten. I don't know. What time do you wake up? I lose an hour every day no matter what I do. What are you like from Mars? You wake up an hour later? Yes, every single day.

And then what? And then eventually I'm waking up at. Back at the normal time? Yes. My body is on a 23 hour... I think it's 25 hour clock. Okay, maybe 23. Might be a 23 hour clock.

Why? I don't know. Really? I don't believe you. An hour later every day? It's like clockwork. An hour later every day. And you go all the way around?

So like I'll be able to, like, fix it for, like, two days by using, like, an alarm or whatever, and then my body will revolt and be like, we're staying up till 4 a.m. and there's nothing you can do about it. 4 a.m.? That's not... No, but then it starts fucking up, and then, like, the next day I'm off because of that. Yeah.

What's your workout routine? Just, at some point during the day, I get on the exercise bike. I don't have a set time for it. For how long? Usually at night, 30 minutes. Exactly? Every day?

Exactly 30 minutes. Pretty much every day. You've got to bump that up to an hour. I could. I've done that before. Do some weights or something. I almost bought a weight bench at the Goodwill. Oh, okay.

But it was a little too big for my apartment. Oh. I want to get a little one. Well, that's a lot of stuff to start piling drugs on top of, probably. I think the reason I have the problem is that I don't have any drugs. I think my whole body is fucked. Okay. I think if I had the testosterone, I would have energy of some sort.

Just go to Mexico and of some sort and not just be fucking energy drinks and shit to try and stay awake. Ask Ralph. Showing up on podcasts and going, I don't really. All right. It's just, I live in a nightmare. Yeah. And that's the other thing.

You gotta solve it though. You gotta get a legal pharmacy. I know. I know. And that's what's infuriating I've been trying to solve it Legally Yes I've been going to the doctor Please can you give me something

Here are my symptoms Here's what I think will help After six months of jerking me around And ripping blood out of my body And putting it under a microscope They go well you got a big old fat liver And I go I got a big old fat liver. And I go, I got a big old fat everything. I know.

I'm trying to fix it. Give me the, and everybody I talk to is on testosterone. They go, I used to be a big fat piece of shit. And then I got all this energy and I feel like a teenager and I'm running around and having the best time of my life. So me for trying to use the system, I was an idiot. You're right. I should have just went online.

You gotta do it though. Next time, next week comes around and be like, oh, I didn't do it because of all this other stuff. Yeah. You gotta do it. That's my whole life. That's not, that's not testosterone's fault. I don't know what the fault is. You! Yes. You gotta go

put it on your calendar. Do this. Here. I have like thing, so, uh, let's put it this way. You know like fast pass that you can get to go like under bridges or whatever? Okay. And when you move, you can mail in your transponder and they give you like 25 bucks or whatever. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay.

Yeah. And it has written on the transponder like just drop this in an email box and it'll mail it to you and we'll give you 25 bucks. So I had the fast track transponder from my old address for the past six years sitting on a table in my house. Well, you know. It's just 25 bucks. Yeah, but

all I had to do was take it and drive to a mailbox and put it in. Yeah, but this is like your body chemistry. You gotta rank it above. Yeah, it's 25. It's just a thing to do though Everybody has that shit But there's so many things to do that I don't know how to manage them

I'm a mess Alright I just wanted drugs All I want is drugs Just give me drugs So right now I know I'm getting like a million messages Don't give me a message if it's gonna be stupid Just tell me I wanna talk to somebody

A priest? No I to talk to somebody. I want to be like- A priest? No, I want to talk to somebody who knows about how, whatever. How to illegally get testosterone. Well, I want to know which kind to get that would be best for me. And I have my blood work. So somebody who could look at that and be like, okay, based on this, don't inject that or inject this. The audience is like the giving tree for you.

Buy my comic. Somebody help me illegally get testosterone. Well, I figured I mentioned it online. I got like a million fucking comments and I just, I'm thinking there's someone out there who actually knows what they're doing. What about Dr. Obtuse Gnome? I think Obtuse Gnome could help me out. After you threatened to sell them out to Eric July.

I don't think I threatened to sell me out. After you threatened to sell him out to Eric July. I don't think I threatened to sell him out. You said you'd help Eric in any way you could find the perpetrator of that email. I don't think I said find the perpetrator. I said I will give you a statement that says that this guy does not work for us. He works for me. He doesn't. I don't know that.

You're right. He doesn't work for me. If you're hiring employees of the show other than apparently our employee of the show other than uh apparently our employee of the month went to riley against my uh yeah against my wishes well yeah no i'm happy he won um okay so what is your problem uh doctors who won't give you drugs yeah that's a good problem won't give give you drugs. They never give shit anymore. And you know other people are out. Well, I was going to say.

They never give Vicodin anymore at all. It's so annoying. One of the part of the problem has been, and they really don't want to give anyone opioids. So a lot of people with chronic pain are getting completely fucked right now. Yeah. Because after the opioid crisis, the United States in 2016 issued their guidance for prescribing opioids. And there was kind of like these very like generic like, well, don't give them more than like, typically don't give them more than 50 milligrams of this. And the doctors went, okay, it's a law that if I give you more than 50 milligrams of this, I go to jail.

And they're like, well, we didn't fucking say that. And also a bunch of, you know, people got sued into the ground for billions of dollars for prescribing too many opioids. So now doctors are like, I can't give out pills or else I might get sued. Welcome to America. Thanks a lot. All this shit should be illegal except selling poison children. We got to stop that. Right.

But that's the one thing you won't let go for some reason. Like, you see that all of these things are making your life miserable and you still cling to this idea like it needs to be there because of children would get poisoned. Children whom you hate and have disdain for and don't care about would get poisoned by criminals. It's more that I want

truth and I want to know what goes into what I'm getting, you know? What do you mean? I mean like if I get a box of cereal, I want to know what goes into what I'm getting, you know? What do you mean? I mean, like, if I get, like, a box of cereal, I want to know what's in the box of cereal. Cereal? Have you ever looked at the side of cereal?

Like, oh, yeah, sorbitol. Well, it tells you how much sugar and how much, you know, calories and all of that. I think that's all useful. But what do you do with that? We need information so that you can make an informed decision. Okay. Like if somebody comes out and they say, this is, you know, Ritalin and you go, well, what does it do? And they're like, it just makes you feel good. Yeah. And it's fentanyl. It could be fentanyl or it could just be like, you know, there could be side effects that could interfere with something else you're taking. And there has to be studies on that to make sure okay well enjoy your no testosterone then since you fucking i think

there's this abstract concept i think there's a healthy middle ground i think once we've researched it we know what it is then you can just give it away because all the information out there and if you don't educate yourself that's your fault yeah which is why i'm trying to become educated on the topic of testosterone so i know exactly what to take there's different doses doctor says what the doctor's saying how much to take yeah he's saying none well well i think that guy's a quack i got a bad doctor i also had a fan send me an image and he said i've been on Steroids for the last three months And I went holy shit

I gotta get some fucking steroids Cause he bulked up You have to work out though I know guys who've gone on steroids and not worked out And they look like shit and their balls shrink I get that You gotta do more than 30 minutes on that bike Yeah I gotta do like an hour

Alright my last problem is objectively. You ever heard that one? I've heard that one. This movie's objectively bad. Oh, yeah. She's objectively hot. Quote, unquote, objectively. There's an entire branch of YouTube guys who-

Objectively? Were preaching the idea of objective film criticism. I'm like, this isn't even a debate. You guys are just actually wrong. You don't know what that word means. You just made up a word to be very, but it's new, so you can keep saying it.

She's hot. She's very hot. Okay. No, no, she's objectively hot. Subjectively bad, no, she's objectively hot. Oh, okay. Subjectively bad? I think she's ugly. Well, you're objectively wrong.

I think she's ugly. You're wrong. She's very hot. All right. Well, I don't care. No, no, no. She's objectively hot. What? You just added that part on.

This is a good problem. I've fought about this problem a lot. Uh-huh. People don't know what the word objectively means. Uh, they also don't know what the word subjectively means. Mm-mm. No. Do they use that one?

Well, here's the problem is that they think an objective opinion is automatically better than a subjective one. Mm. And it's not. A subjective opinion can be very valid. There's no objective opinions. Well, yeah, that's the other thing yeah well you can strive so you can strive towards objectivity an objective opinion is a fact

not an opinion anymore right exactly so like in in the realm of criticism when they say you should be an objective critic yeah it doesn't mean one like true objectivity It means that you should leave As many biases And preconceived things by the door As you can Keep it fair TBF as you just said You said you need TBF

Keep it fair No you said TBF That was not a crutch for me I don't say it all the time You're saying it on me now I haven't said it in like Whatever I only say it when they

Super chat it You said it twice last episode Tell me in the fucking chat He said it right I don't know We're gonna punish you It's possible Anyway

You do TBF To a film But what these people Don't understand So there's a group of guys Who have said Well here's how You can determine

If a film is objectively bad yeah it's if the film has a plot hole and then you go well first of all how are you gonna objectively define a plot hole and missing information and while most movies have something like that second of all a plot hole is not necessarily does not necessarily impact the quality of a film makes it worse but that's a subjective opinion okay that's your subjective view of films somebody else could say i don't mind plot holes at all and they don't make films i don't like how in 24 he's just driving around la like in the same episode not well i can't watch this traffic the whole

time yeah yeah there, there's stuff. But again, these are all subjective opinions. The problem is that people seem to think like, oh, a subjective opinion, that's the worst kind. It's like, no, they're just... It's the only kind. It's the only kind. Yeah, exactly. It's not an objective opinion. Every time I see it, I want to rip my stomach out.

This is objectively... Just stop. Just fucking say very. For something to be objective, you need to be able to define it, right? So in your example of a beautiful woman... Yeah, she's wicked hot. Just say that. She's wicked hot.

She's wicked hot. No, she's objectively hot. It's a wicked good book. Well, that would mean that there somewhere exists objective standards for what beauty are. And there are. No, there aren't. Yeah, there is. What are the objective standards for beauty?

Like the golden... Wait, you're saying how beauty? Like the golden ratio. Human beauty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The golden ratio is all subjective. That is not like No, no, no, no, no. If you showed people um, if you showed people Elephant Boy and then like a supermodel, fucking everybody would say, oh yeah, okay, that's hot.

Not everybody? Yeah, everybody. Pretty much everybody. Pretty much everybody. Well, unless somebody's fucking around. No, somebody could objectively or subjectively say I think Elephant Boy is more attractive and here's why. Okay. Okay, let's put it this

way. I see a picture of a beautiful woman naked with her breast hang out. Maybe she's fat. I don't have a problem with that. Okay, and on the other side. Okay, you're right. There's a furry girl and there's shit coming out of her nipples, and she's in a fucking swimming pool of jello and cum's raining down from the... She's eating Wonder Bread or whatever the fuck.

Okay, you're right. Subjective beauty. Subjectively, I prefer the lady with the big tits. We have rules that we are constructing together as normal people to tell you what's beautiful. If I saw a beautiful lady... That's the best we can get. Oh, you know, just being naked. Or you saw a beautiful lady, you know, pushing a shopping cart full of Wonder Bread while using a chainsaw to cut down a rainforest. Looks expensive.

Subjectively, I would say, the naked lady. Some people subjectively would say. You're right. You're right. I did it myself. Merlogic sent me a TM the other day. He wants shoes for Christmas. Is that what he wants yeah i want to see he he was like i forget what he was telling me and i am going to read dms because i just want to know the

general idea of the uh thing he sent me uh if you can help me find someone to come up with new ideas for commissions so somehow merlogic has ran out of ideas of things to beat off buying commissions you need to buy shoes he asked me to find so he's asking me to find someone to help him come up with ideas for stuff to beat off merlogic i don I don't know. If anyone in the audience wants to give more logic, some ideas of things he could commission, go. Yeah. How about this? A castle made out of what?

Is that what you want? You want like Wonder Bread ideas? A castle made out of Wonder Bread. Wonder Bread Israel? Wonder Bread Israel shooting. Yeah. A Wonder Bread Iron Dome shooting bags of Wonder Bread at Hamas. There you go. Okay, my problem is, objectively in quotes, and mass shooters. And yours is expecting Jews not to be Jews, I think you said.

Let the Jews be Jews, as the song goes. But that's your problem. No, the problem is Jewish expectations. How's that? I mean, you make your problem impossible to understand what the actual problem is. How about Jews

supporting Israel? What's the problem? The problem is that people are upset at Jewish people for acting like Jewish people. That's what you said first, but then you keep expecting... Well, because that's not going to fit.s to act like jews sure not expecting no expect not expecting jews to support israel what is the problem to support israel okay not expecting jews

not expecting unrealistic expectations for the jews i mean then that's is that a good one yeah that's a good yeah it's unrealistic to a good one. Yeah, that's a good... Yeah, it's unrealistic to expect Jewish people to not... Unrealistic... Okay, say it again. Unrealistic expectations for the Jews. Okay. That's a horribly named... It's the treatment all over again.

It's not the treatment all over again. Look, I can go change the name of some of my problems. It would make it better. Doctors who won't give you drugs. Okay. Everybody, I'll do some voicemails. Maybe somebody in the chat has a better idea for a name. Okay.

This is a peculiar one. Hey, dick. Hey, fucking tubby tits. Wow. Thanks. I think I found the biggest problem in the universe. Clever. Okay.

It's not women. Oh. It's gay guys lying to uglyver. Okay. It's not women. Uh, it's gay guys lying to ugly women. Oh. I just, uh,

saw this unattractive girl, like, like, if she tried, she could probably slim down and look halfway decent,

but her face is busted, her teeth have fucking huge gaps in between them, and it's just, it's just a mess. But this gay guy's talking to her, and she's down on herself, and it's just it's just a mess but this guy's talking to her and she's down on herself he's just like girl i don't know what you're talking about you're fire you're sexy yeah any man would be happy to have you and i'm just sitting there like that's just

mean that's rude and mean-spirited like this poor girl has accepted that she's ugly and is a little sad about it sure but she's you know that's the first step of fucking grieving. You know, you get sadness or whatever, you know. Do they believe gay guys when they tell you? Of course they do. And now you fucking lie to her and say, oh girl, you're sexy. No, she's not. And don't lie to her. That's fucking mean. Thank you, fuck you, bye.

Well, I mean, it was pretty mean when we did that to Caitlyn Jenner. Who's we? Society. We just said, hey, we're that to Caitlyn Jenner. Who's we? Society. We just said, hey. Did she buy that shit? We're going to put you on the cover of magazines because you're such a beautiful woman now. That's funny, though, I guess.

I don't think it was supposed to be funny. I think it was just a weird, confusing situation. You know, women will, hairdressers will mess up women's hair that they think is their same level of attractiveness. Where'd she hear that? They'll cut it. It was a study that I read. They'll cut their hair shorter the more that they think they are in competition with them sexually. If they're way out of their league, they leave their hair long either way.

But if they're at the same level, cut that shit all off. That's fucking insanity. That's crazy. That's women for you. Would a barber ever do that to a man? No. No, never. All right.

Here's another one. All right. I got a question. Okay. So imagine the hottest, most ideal woman you possibly can that is living for it or has ever lived. Now imagine her and your mother have minds swapped. If you had to choose one or the other, and yes, you have to answer and can't pussy out of it,

would you rather have sex with her body, but with your mother's mind in that body, or would you rather have sex with your mother's body, but this woman's mind in your mother's body? All right. Good luck on the answer. I think that's pretty easy. Yeah, the hot woman. Who wants to fuck the body of their mom?

That question is for teenagers because their moms are like 40 or 50. Not adult men whose moms are 71 years old. You jackass. I mean, there's like a situation if I had to have sex with my mom's body, it's not going to happen. I'd go, yeah, I can't. You don't ask that question to guys.

I'd be like, oh, but there's a really hot girl's brain in there. I'm like, yeah, I don't. With the other girl, I can at least be like, don't even think about the mom. I'd go, mom, don't say anything. Don't bring up my childhood or anything. Just pretend you're that other girl yeah okay get it done one more that was an easy one

guys you gotta get through the voicemails faster biggest problem I got two and they're one and the same popcorn and co-workers over sharing I'm sitting there eating a bag of popcorn minding my own fucking business at work and my co-worker fucking tells, I still can't believe it.

He says he can't eat popcorn. Because it makes him shit. I have no fucking idea what this guy is saying. It makes him shit blood? I'm scared right now. Popcorn makes him shit blood? Popcorn and him. I'm fucked.

I still ate the whole bag. Am I makes me shit blood. I'm popcorn and him. I'm fucked. I still ate the whole bag. Am I going to shit blood? What the fuck? Why does popcorn make you shit blood? I don't think that's a thing that happens to anyone. Well, that's just a normal guy walking around talking about shitting blood because he ate popcorn. If he has severe GERD, like gastro whatever, the kernels could like fuck up your Your inner lining the fucking Okay

I know there's some people who can't eat corn cause it doesn't get digested You know It makes you shit blood It's just like you have such weak stomach lining That like anything rough can just tear you up I don't know if you actually shit blood though Well if somebody's saying they're shitting blood Then I want to see some blood shit

Not just like diarrhea. I don't know. All right, well, maybe this one's for Halloween. Here we go. Hey, boys, have a spooky voicemail for you. Uh-oh. Way back when, when I was in college, I went to a Halloween party, and I thought I was going to be super clever with my costume. All I did was I slapped on a pair of blue jeans and nothing else. And I walk into this party and my buddy asked,

hey, what'd you come as? And I say, I came in my pants. I yelled it real loud. He cracked up and, but everybody else in the room just stared at me Did not get it at all Like ten hot chicks Just looking at me like What the fuck is wrong with this guy So uh Safe to say that uh Fucking hate Halloween now

Go fuck yourself Is it a pun costume? It's a pun costume I saw a serial killer costume For ten bucks I almost bought it for you but It was a big box of cereal on your head. You got a knife. So what does that guy set up

for his pun costume? Like if they said, what are you? He says, I came in my pants. I came in my pants. Because I came to the party in my pants. Man, that's... Also, why do you want to be shirtless at a party all night? Isn't it cold in the home? Probably because he has a nice body.

Yeah, it probably looks good. Okay, everybody. I don't know what that's like. Don't forget to vote on all the problems at BiggestProblem.show. Guys, biggest problem in Halloween bonus episode. A very spooky, spooky episode at patreon.com slash biggestproblem and back.by slash biggestproblem. We were going to watch a video. Were we not oh the eric july thing it's up to you sir i don't know fuck it let's do these what are you fucking just teased everybody's

dick uh i just don't want to get into it with anybody anymore it's too much fighting here hold on let me zoom in all right Here, hold on, let me zoom in. Alright. I don't know, maybe if there's enough super chats. Uh, which one are we? I hate you so much. Which one are we? We're out of that one right there.

Alright. Cool for five, Vito has decided to censor my usual chats. Oh, what's that about? To everyone except YouTube, thank you for not killing yourselves. Are they censoring kill yourself now? Kufra2 says YouTube's a big problem. They're pro Greenland. I don't like the censorship.

Thank you for not killing yourselves. I wonder if the way we set up the live chat, did we screw up Super Chats? No, because everything else is coming in. I guess. We'll see if anybody else is being... I always had that live chat thing checked. I don't know. We changed some settings.

Melloik for five. If I can't be thanked for not offing myself, I'm just going to do it and I'm not buying the shirt. Ah, fuck you then. Good. Well, thank you. Rick for five. Love the show.

Keep up the good work, Kings. Vito, since you have a lot of knowledge about film, do you know what outer space movie came out in 1992? You know a good outer space movie from 92? No. 2010, the year we made contact? Gayer than that. Wait, what is it? Is it GN's from outer space?

Yes. Okay. Not 2010, the year we made contact. No. That's not his joke. I got there. John Riffs for five. I'm going to celebrate Halloween by watching Candyman, the spookiest movie ever.

It is very spooky. In more ways than none. Peter Hansman for two. Vito crushed it on Kick or Keep. One verse seven easy. I did destroy. That was great there. Mallort seven easy. I did destroy. That was great there. Malort and Savior.

I can't even believe those people. They're awful. A lot of them. I mean, like, they're... I don't know. I don't watch any of their content. Destiny's fun. Yeah, Destiny's great. Destiny's the only guy who has a fucking personality.

That's why they all orbit around him. Everybody always talks about Destiny orbiters. Oh, yeah. I said, yeah, because the rest of you have no fucking personality. You're winning and running and rubbing it in. Well, yeah, because I went on there and I literally I went, this is too easy.

Why am I wasting my time in any of these YouTube spaces? Clearly, I could be doing something more valuable, but I'll take the 500 bucks. But you had a lot of energy. I've never seen you with that much energy on this show. I don't normally get to talk trash to seven people and completely

destroy them at every turn. Me and Sky Williams, I think, became friends by the end. He had a good sense of humor because I was saying wild things. I said, and it sounds racist, but it's not. I said, it's way worse to be an animal than a black person. It's way worse? Yeah. Sure. Of course it is. And for some reason, he started arguing. He said, yeah, but it's not. I said, it's way worse to be an animal than a black person. It's way worse?

Yeah. Sure. Of course it is. And for some reason, he started arguing. He said, yeah, but you ever see those dogs in rich white families? I'm like, I still would rather be a black guy, I think. And he is a black guy. He was arguing against the black experience.

Because you tricked them into giving up their victimhood, and they can't. Like, even with a dog. Mallory at Savior for Two says, I would love to see Ryan Long in the show. Yeah. That'd be great. He's in New York. Mallory, we need more songs because I replayed one today. We need some.

I need to make some. Diamond G for $5.55. Trick or treat, bub. All Wolverines, the movie. Projects done poorly for $10 dollars isom will destroy most of the indie market for youtube oh too many creators are now playing this emperor's new clothes thing with isom when people see it they will not trust any youtuber creators i made that point someone said i was an idiot but now more people are making that point which is like if you want indie comics

to thrive you can't go and here's the best indie comic. And somebody reads it and they go, that's the best one. Stock shit. These must all suck. Yeah. I think that's, yeah. Red for two. Happy Halloween, Eric Juneteenth.

With a skull and a camera and a hedgehog and a bunny and a bunny. And some clippers and a arm and a frog and a kicking the frog. Tommy Salami for two. I hate ads enough to pay you to tell you about it. Thank you. Jose M for two says it's adding addition. Oh, God. Which apparently is something Eric Gillespie said.

It's a shame that. Please don't do this. Comic artist Pro Secrets is here for two. And he says Super Killer No. 1 is a better pilot than JFK jr. Ah That's true JFK jr. Was probably a good I think a lady just reached over and started fucking with his cock. Yeah. Yeah, probably his instruments and Who's the one who drove Ted? He was a great driver again. It was always women He's just driving Having fun

Lady reaches over Ooh let me Fuck with the wheel And then they end up drowned That's every Kennedy situation Jackie Kennedy in the back He wouldn't have got shot In the back of the head

If she wasn't nagging him You know Can you I can't figure this map out Why do we have to come to Dallas I don't even like Dallas He's like Oh god let me stand up I'll look in the I can't figure out How the glove Why do we have to come to Dallas? I don't even like Dallas. She's like, oh, God, let me stand up.

I can't figure out how the glove box works. Mine doesn't work like this. Let me see that. It's always a feature. Do we know what the last thing that she said to him was? Some nagging bullshit. Yeah, it was. Is she dead?

Everybody's dead? Jacqueline Kennedy's dead at this point. I'm pretty sure. So we'll never know what the last nagging comment was. They should have asked her. You wave too much on your left. You got to wave on the right. All right, you bitch.

I'll turn to the right now. Back and to the left. Dumb username for five. Australian Blast Corps was a great N64 game. Level the city to ground zero to protect it from being destroyed by a nuke on a runaway truck. I played that once. Cool. It's a very confusing game.

Pineapple Man for five. Hi, Vito and Dick. Bag of Schmidt sent me three cassette tapes in the mail today for my birthday tomorrow. Wow. One of the cassettes is metal music. That's great. Awesome, man. Lemon Trashy for two says, I eat shit.

I guess I probably shouldn't have been the one to say that. Dummy's your username from Five says, Jet Force Gemini was awesome too. The chick's boobs bounced. You could see up her skirt. N64 baby or maybe just Rareware was good. I never played Jet Force Gemini, but I've always heard it's not that good.

Pop quiz for... I'm going to twist on the Nintendo 64 though. They're going to be worse than triangles. They're looking terrible. I did. I have been playing. I got a little emulator device, a little handheld one. They're going to be worse than triangles. They're looking terrible. I did. I have been playing. I did. I got a little emulator device, a little handheld one.

I was playing Star Fox last night. I love Star Fox so much. I don't think I ever played that game. Star Fox 64? Yeah. Dude, the last battle against Star Wolf, if you're on the hard route, is like literally impossible. I had to reload my save like 20 times.

More than that, Star Wolf is... Are you playing on the bike? You load up the bike, put it on there? No, I play GTA when I'm on the bike. Oh, okay. On the PlayStation.

Pop quiz for 20. Mystical Ninja starring Goeman is a great NC4 game. I've heard that as well. I'll play that. Go to my goat face for five. It's like I said, it has good games,

just clearly it was not as good as the PlayStation. And a lot of the games that people remember as classics, really if you go back and play Goldeneye on the N64 right now, you're gonna go, I don't want to play this that much longer. It's fine. It's still fun. Running around karate

chopping. Go to my goat face for five. I like my coffee how I like my women. Black bitter, and I prefer TBF. Nice try. The City Boy for five. Biggest Problem Reviews Season 7 of Rick and Morty. Love y'all. The debut episode was terrible. You haven't watched any of it, right?

I have no desire to watch it. It sounds so... The voice sounds nothing like Rick. It's terrible. The first episode was so bad. Someone told me the second episode is good. But I am hearing people complain more about the Rick voice than the Morty voice. Yeah.

That Treyarch Goss for two, which country was attacked after episode 109? All of them. What? Which country was attacked? Is that a 109? I know there's that meme about Jews getting kicked out of 109 countries, which is false.

Oh. It was actually 138 city-states. Sorry, 1138 city-states. Wow. Oh. It was actually 138 city-states. Sorry, 1138 city-states. Wow. Yeah. They move around a lot. That's what Snopes said. That's not me saying that.

Good old Snopes. Snopes corrected it. Because there's 109 countries. What? That doesn't make sense. Right? How is that even possible? I don't know.

How many countries are on there twice? Well, historically, you know, maybe they got kicked out of Mesopotamia. And then again? There's not 109 places, but they're little cities because it happened way back. Istanbul and Constantinople. Is it twice if they get kicked out of them both? Yes. Exactly.

But that's still only two. Nate rang for $20 big dollars on the board. November marks 10 years I've been listening to Dick. Kurt Radko used to force me to listen to Big's Problem in the work truck when I first started as an engineer. I hated every second of Maddox and stayed for Dick. I remember that guy. Thank you for years of laughs. Kurt Radko's.

I remember his Facebook comments. That's funny. Thanks, Nate. Thanks, Nate. And for another five, he says, I actually found bonus episode receipts from 2015 in my email. Wow. Well, hopefully you're paying for the new bonus episodes. Yeah. At biggestproblem.show.

Buzzed Bigfoot for $1. Thank you. Thank you. Red for five. Vito was going to yell at you for saying Ocarina of Time. Didn't have a story, but then I remembered the moon falling was in Majora's Mask, not Ocarina. Yeah, exactly. I mean, a princess is kidnapped. Is that what happens? Yeah, wow.

She's going to get raped. Can you believe it? Does Ganondorf show up? Ooh. Yeah. Ooh. John Riffster 5, you know you should do a rap music video and film it outside those anti-Sniper Wolf Twitter space guys' houses.

You should do every one of their houses. I was going to go to Jack Film's house and record myself opening a box of Pokemon cards, but then I was like... You're going to lose your channel. Yeah, exactly. I literally was like, they'll just delete my channel. It's not worth the risk. Speaking of which, Mr. Girl has been banned from Patreon now.

So he's been effectively depersoned from every part of the internet. You can find him on Medium, I think, is the last place you can find him. We live in a nightmare. Everyone's disappearing. Who'd he vote for? I don't know. Actually, I'm pretty sure he voted for Biden. Shut up.

Funny that. Trump would not have stopped any of that. Trump, the guy who was banned from Twitter, would not stop any of that? It's possible. You think he would have passed some laws to make it illegal to ban people from Twitter? Well, the problem is you guys just have to stop voting

Democrat, period. It's not one president. You just have to stop voting for censors forever for it to change. Can you find a guy who doesn't, like, say the election was stolen for no reason? It was stolen. There's the problem that we have. Why? Why is that a problem?

Okay, enjoy your medium then. Have fun. I'm just... Have fun on medium voting for Biden. Can you stop nominating DeSantis right now, who just right now is making it illegal for college kids to protest Israel? Thank God. Trump destroyed him. Meatball Ron, that was it.

Boom. Done. What happened to like a John McCain? That was a fun guy, right? One of the worst war hawks in... Hey. Who's burning in hell right now? That's what you want?

John McCain? At least he was like an upstanding guy. He likes war. Who doesn't like war? Why'd that guy go crazy? Oh man, because of mental health that's why what american president talked to enough women he needed one woman one more hour of talking to a woman a week and he wouldn't have shot all those people how about mitt uh mitt romney could have

got a mormon in there yeah sure he would have been nice a nice normal guy he would have loved open internet wild and crazy internet. You know what? Trump's the greatest president ever. Just get a million Trumps. Obviously, yes! Whatever. Duranjade for five says Eric Smod's blocked me from his live streams for super chatting.

If Isom wins, Grandpa Knox will be disappointed. Lol. Keep doing the Lord's work, guys. The ministry. Michael winning for two. Vito, Lord's work, guys. The ministry. Michael winning for two. Vito, let's put ads anyway. Here are the 14 words. We're not going to get them on.

Oh, I love the Jews. Didn't sound like it. I said I'm criticizing people who've criticized Jews for being Jews. I know, but then you rephrase the problem. So it sounds like it gets weirder and more anti-Semitic in every rephrase-al. The problem is... When you see a Jew... Alright.

Horse McGee for five. Vito speedrunning the racist podcast during the conservative... It's not racist. I'm not the racist podcaster. Cheese for a thousand. Cheese a thousand for five. Fun fact about the Ebony Alert. It goes up to age 25 and does include men.

Good luck taking a search party into Englewood. A black guy's gone missing. Ebony Alert. There he is working out in his front yard. There he is crawling into his house. Honey, there's an Ebony alert. We'll have to go.

Let's go look for him. Let's go south. I'll keep my eyes peeled. Let's go south of the 110 and see if we can find him. All right. Chris Hyde for five. Biggest problem is the two minutes before every meeting that is completely unusable. Then the two minutes after it starts waiting for everyone.

Yeah. Doodle Bob for ten. Interesting knowing July and Stein are owned by the same company. Why didn't Alex mention that he was acting as a human shield for Eric during Vito's interview? Seems like a conflict of interest. Is he being a human shield for you? He made a video

with Nerdronic talking about how he's been unfairly dragged into our feud or whatever. And we're like, yeah, because Eric works with a guy who causes problems for public businesses. And then someone goes to his warehouse and he like, yeah, because Eric works with a guy who causes problems for public businesses and then someone goes to his warehouse and he goes, oh, my stars!

I can't believe it. Yeah. I'm so continually surprised by everything that's happening. Longbow 40 for 5. I'd like to give a very special shout out to my good pal Kimsel. I wish you the best in your search for a job.

Stay hopeful. It's only been eight years. We're pulling for you, Kimsel. Utah-based Armenian for two. New niggler bit. Turn off Jewish lights on Shabbos. Don't worry. They'll flick them back on.

That would be quite a niggle. They got a new invention called a switch. What does the switch do specifically? So you hit it and then a different thing happens? Like a marble roll down? Go watch it. I will watch it. Go watch it.

It's approved by the Rabbi Council of America. I think I've seen it, but I think I watched it like 10 years ago or something. Watch it again. So I don't remember it. It'll really elucidate everything for you. Pigeon saw for 20. Inshallah, brother. Vito, bring in Jews as a problem.

No, I did not bring in Jews as a problem. Truly glorious day. Koo for five says, looks like the thank you for not killing yourself sensor was removed. YouTube still won't get a thank you for not killing yourself, though. He's currently using acronyms. But thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof.

I wonder why it wasn't working. Marquis Dayna for five, after weeks without a house speaker, I felt so lucky and proud to wake up this morning to see their first act was pledging our loyalty and money to Israel. I couldn't. Thank God we got right straight to our house speaker. I felt so lucky and proud to wake up this morning to see their first act was pledging our loyalty and money to Israel. I couldn't. Thank God we got straight to our house speaker. John Doe for five. Kremsel

stole my money. Shun him. Kremsel. Steal more of his money. He's got money for super chats. He's got money to steal. Utah-based Armenian for five. If they want to keep Jews out of Palestine, they should stop saying free in front of it. I get it.

I got that one. Coup for five. Satire alert. If any of you guys decide to do a Minecraft in a bowling alley, just remember my words. Satire alert. CG for five. I'm protesting for Israel. I'm only going to bank at Jewish banks, watch Jewish media, and support Jewish mass shootings in Gaza.

Oh, that's nice of you. Purple Monkey Dishwasher for 5 Vito on PKA. Kyle told you to get TRT. Go to more plates, more dates. There you go. You already had the information this whole time. You got it right there. It says right there how to do it.

And next week you won't have done it. Is that a website? No, it's a fucking magical land That you have to sing a song and play a flute to get to Okay but like is there a doctor I can talk to And he can tell me what to buy Cause I don't know what to buy There's a bunch of websites where you can buy testosterone

I mean how is all these like pre-excuses Go to the site All your answers will be revealed to you Well like someone today sent me a coupon And like here you can get testosterone cheap, but then I look on the website and there's like 50 different testosterone products and I don't know which one to buy. Here. More plates, more dates. Uh... There's a lot of different- and there's like different, like, levels or something?

Of testosterone? Look at this guy. Yeah. You could be this guy. More plates, more dates. Male enhancement? Looking good. Oh, I'll just get gorilla mind respawn fuel. How bad could it be? I'll get the... Look, see, this is already confusing.

Subscribe for an e-book. Testosterone. See, you said it was going to be easy. It is easy. Look, there you go. The most accurate testosterone... No, these are videos about testosterone. How much natural testosterone did you need?

A lot. I don't know. On the surface, testosterone. How many milligrams of testosterone do men's naturally produce? This is not helpful. Bro, your website fucking sucks. And you who super chatted it, fuck you too. You're an idiot.

Thank you. Look at this shit. Oh my God. There's like a million different things to click on. Am I supposed to get Gorilla Mind? It wants me to get Gorilla Mind. Kethel's had an easy bathtub hormones. Yes. Kethel's made it easy.

Purple Monkey, you fucked up by not reviewing the site you recommended. I think I gotta ask some people. Berserker for two, stop drinking soda before bed. I don't drink soda before bederker for two Stop drinking soda before bed I don't drink soda before bed How

When do you stop drinking soda? I don't remember All of your issues are your own How long does soda stay in your body? Ten hours Does it? Caffeine? Yeah

Six Let's go six on the low side So when's the last time you're supposed to What's the last You're supposed to never Never have any caffeine. Wake up and have some. You drink caffeine.

I stopped drinking at like three. Didn't you just have coffee? We both just had coffee. For the show, yeah, I'm staying up tonight. All right.

Spider Eternal for two, get Vito on trend for three months if he doesn't sleep. Okay. Sarah Gardner for five, hee hee hee, Dick has a small pee pee.

That's pretty funny. There you go. Fucking mass shooting. That's a good one. That's what happens every time. DrunkenAviatorStudio for ten says, No, you should do a Chicago show, but do it in the suburbs at Brouwer House in Lombard

like the WATP crossover show. That way it will only cost me $8 to get there. Think about me. God, the suburbs of Chicago. Fucking... I hate the suburbs in the Midwest. I hate the Midwest, and I hate the suburbs in the Midwest. Did you the Midwest, and I hate the suburbs in the Midwest.

Did you ever, you did a show in Vegas already, right? Vegas, yeah. Would you ever do another one in Vegas? No, it's too expensive. I just want to go to Vegas right now. I know, I'm thinking about it. It's a fun show, but it's like, renting the venue costs like $5,000, $6,000. There's nothing, where did you get a venue? Was it near the Strip or something? Yeah, I was on the strip. Look at a venue off the strip

Okay, I'm gonna take it out back an uber over there Let's see fire chicken two one seven four five, you know Have you tried pretending of a real job and just waking up like a normal person? This is why I don't have a real job Mmm When I had a real job, I would just like constantly show up late and be miserable. How late?

Like an hour, two hours, or I would just call in sick. People don't understand. So the reason I live the way I do is because I have to. People are like, why doesn't your YouTube channel update regularly? I'm like, because my life, I can to People are like Why doesn't your YouTube channel Update regularly

I'm like Because my life I can't manage it Yeah I don't know Well You can at least Stop doing a couple

Basic things Caffeine afternoon Zero calorie Gatorade Right there That's a good start Joe Ray for 10 Vito please bike

An hour a day Give me more super chats I'll buy a bike Summer Swan Winter Raven for 5 wait you don't have a bike? I don't have a bike what was all that I bike a half hour a day I have an exercise bike oh that's what he meant

I want like a real bike though are you gonna use it? yeah okay yeah I don't know where to go is the problem Okay Yeah Okay I don't know I don't know where to go

Is the problem You are You live in an area With a ton of trails A ton Oh so I should just Bike a trail Well yeah

I do like The LA River I like biking I used to bike everywhere Yeah you gotta start That shit up again I should It used to be great

I used to bike every day Through Boston Common To get to work. And like this perfect little bike commute. That was the most beautiful. Two hours late? Yeah. It was the perfect little slice of life. I remember thinking, never going to have a commute this nice ever again.

That's true. Bike through the park, meet all the people. What happened? Bike through the racist part of town a little bit. Hmm. What happened? Eh, job didn't pay that kid. Oh.

Then I moved to LA and everything has gone downhill from there. Wow. Summer Swan Winter Raven says, I'm also on a 25-hour cycle like Vito and have fatty liver, just confirming that the 25-hour cycle is a real thing. Well, I mean, I believe that Your sleep's fucked up I don't believe that your Circadian rhythm is an alien Some people have a 23 hour

Do you know that if you Do You know that thing where they like sleep study But they lock you in a room and they're like you can't leave here for like 30 days Yeah We're gonna study your sleep cycles Prison? No just like an actual sleep study Where they go, we just want to see naturally what

time you wake up and go to bed. Yeah. Everybody ends up on a 23 hour schedule. Every single person. I would have to see the work of that. I've believed too many boomer studies. Stanford prison experiment, false. The milligram experiment False

How do you falsify People sleeping in a room For 30 days You just make it up Or you make them Sleep at weird times You play a little bell You just lie

To have a cool study I don't believe it Beard hair philosopher 10 Keep these laughs Coming boys You both are getting me Through my work days Also Vito Talk a little bit more

about your writing partner tweet. I'm going to talk about it probably on the next show and bring it in as a problem, but... Do you get a lot of applicants? Oh, I get a lot of people who really go, oh, a writing partner, huh? I would love to be a writing partner. Oh, cool, what'd you write? And they go, well, I've never

written anything before. I go, oh. What'd you expect? That was go, well, I've never written anything before. I go, oh. What'd you expect? That was not me. So on Twitter, I said, I need a writing partner as like a general, this is an idea that has come to me. I thought you were proposition. I thought you were asking for applicants.

Yeah, no, I was not soliciting. I was just like, you know what I've realized is that I'm the kind of person who I like writing, but I would like to have someone who understands what I'm... Like Miller and Lorde? Great writing team. Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon, that whole thing fell apart, but I think it's just good.

I think all writers have blind spots. Right. And it's good to have someone else to go, here's the problems I identify with that, and then I go go oh cool you know we can fix that and then they have their own ideas to bring into the mix talking about writing talking about right yeah well it's not a writers love that yeah I don't know how facetious you're being 100% you mean you talk about your writing I'm sure no when you did your book you just put it out. You didn't do anything. You had an editor, at least.

Yeah, he edited it, and I said, yeah, fine. Okay. I don't like talking about stuff. It's like... What you're telling me is Vito, stop asking me for notes and feedback. No, I'll give notes! I mean, I'll explain them. And I'm asking questions

about them. I'll explain them. Has my asking questions about the notes been awful? I'm just trying to get some clarification. No, no, it's fine. I understand that. I mean, I know a lot of people that enjoy having writing partners. Yeah. I'm just goofing.

I'm just being funny, you know. Okay. Gentlemen, Sausage. So, yeah, I don't want any of you people listening to this to be my writing partner. I want, like, somebody. Well, why'd you put it out? This was not your opportunity, like, now's my time to shine. It was just kind of me in my head being like, I hope at some point I meet someone who is funny. Does it have to be a girl?

Doesn't have to be a girl. But you would prefer it to be a girl? I would like someone who has experience writing. First of all, I want experience writing and publishing things. Okay. Okay? And someone who has experience writing first of all you need i want experience like writing and publishing things okay okay and and someone who's funny it needs to be like another comedy writer how funny funnier than you or not as funny as you different funny i want someone who like balances me out okay i think my sense of humor and you've seen this is very fam i'm just family guy i like family guy i grew up watching that's the biggest family guy. I like family guy. I grew up watching Family Guy and Clone High. Well, no, it's a problem because it's all antiquated humor now.

I like cutaway gags. Family guys? Yeah. Well. I like Clone High season one. It's still one of the funniest things I've ever watched. Yeah. And now all the Zoomers are like, yeah, but you didn't talk about Fortnite.

You didn't talk about Five Nights at Freddy's. Is that a comedy? I don't know what that Five Nights at Freddy's is. Five Nights at Freddy's is a horror game about a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant that's haunted. No. Okay. It's about a haunted Chuck E. Cheese. And it's not really supposed to be funny, but the characters are funny looking.

Is it for babies? No, it's for kids. It's for 15-year-olds. That's the target market. Pauly Shore style comedy? Well, I don't think the games are funny. I think the games are just kind of like... So it is a game. It's a video game, and you have to monitor

the close camera system. So you have to keep swapping around you're like oh where'd the characters go oh the bear is not where he's supposed to be oh he's down this hallway you have to make sure they don't sneak up on you and spook you so it's goofy it's a little goofy

I don't know so again no one in our audience do not apply because I'm just saying Twitter is for airing out my thoughts look if you're an accomplished writer our audience do not apply then why'd you put it up writing because i'm just saying you know twitter is for airing out my thoughts look if you're an accomplished writer of like comics and comedy and whatever else like i'm not gonna say no if you came to me and you go hey here's my my tv script that got you know produced or whatever else oh well hey man let's talk about writing okay but

instead i'm getting all these kids and they go hey uh you know i just graduated high school and uh i've always wanted to write stuff. And I'm like, that's great. That's cool, man. Kids in high school are hitting you up? I don't think that's good. No, it's not. Don't send me messages to begin with.

Said graduated high school, so I'm going to hope they're like 18, 19. They could be. You know? You wanted like an accomplished writer To hit you up And say Not like Super accomplished But like someone Who has a history

Of doing stuff Okay Not like Well now's my time To show I can't help you I'm the one Who needs help

You know I'm not gonna get you Anything What if somebody else Get out of this relationship I think we would Collaborate. I need someone who is kind of like equally

a loser to myself. I have some people in mind. We'll see. Like who? Come on. What do you mean? Let's just say I've sent the super killer script to some people. They're on your list of collaborators? Yeah. Guys who I think

are funny. Okay. Is Josh Denny on the list? I haven Yeah, guys who I think are funny. Okay. Is Josh Denning on the list? I haven't sent it to Josh yet, actually. I have to send him a message. Okay. I was thinking about getting Chrissy Merritt to read it. You should.

I think I would have to pay her, though. Yeah, you should. I was going to say, hey, do you want to read it? And then I came up with a number, and I'm like she's just gonna say no What was the number like 50 bucks? 50 bucks Yeah Very much money very much funny Then you can't I can't spend all my money getting people to read it. I'm gonna fucking banker. Yeah, I

Don't know maybe let's see gentlemen see. Gentlemen Sausage Fry. If there's any women who want to read it. You're first. Yeah, well, it would be good to have a woman read it. Gentlemen Sausage Fry.

People who misuse objectively are ontologically bad, objectively speaking. Sure. Good boy for five. You know, there are so many legal online TRT services

you could use. Well, I tried to use one of them. Or there's in-person med spas that basically guarantee tests if you pay them. Well, that's what I thought I found one of the ones. It's like, yeah, we'll just give it to you, but for some reason they're yanking me around. Ride dog for five F YouTube ads. I will go to Greenland before I disable my ad blocker on YouTube.

Fantastic. There we go. Well, good luck on your writing, partner. Thank you. I'm serious. I don't know, man. What are you writing right now? A bunch of crap.

Why are you so dismissive? People are interested In your creative endeavors Well that's nice You starve You starve your audience For Good You don't think you owe them

Something like a little Behind the scenes No I don't owe anyone shit Uh See This is the This is the parasocial problem Is it's like

How much of yourself Can you give None Exactly Well that's your stance Two hours Four hours a week That's it

Uh Where the fuck is this Oh here it is Okay Jay Thompson For two Exactly. Well, that's your stance. Two hours, four hours a week. That's it. Where the fuck is this? Right there. Oh, here it is. Okay. Jay Thompson for two. You see Hassan get embarrassed on Piers Morgan. I saw the thumbnails, but I didn't know if it was one of those things where it's like, Hassan gets absolutely destroyed.

And it's a joke. He looked fucking retarded. Really? Yeah. I don't know a lot about Hassan. He looked like a child. All I know about Hassan is that he is controversial And maybe stupidly naive On the whole Israel-Palestine thing

It's interesting that Piers Morgan brings on All these YouTube guys It's actually smart that he does it It probably gets him A bunch of views Yeah He

Hassan looked Probably the worst I've ever seen anybody Look on anything Really? He looked totally clueless He was talking about nonsense. He looked worse than Eric

July. How long was the segment? I don't know, like 10 minutes. It was just a little interview. I'll watch that. Again, I didn't know if it was one of those things like, Ben Shapiro destroys this guy, and I'm like, well, did that actually happen, or is it just, like, stupid? He just looked so dumb. He also was fighting with his cousin,

Kenk. Kenk came on. Yeah. And they were fighting with his cousin, Kank. Kank came on. Yeah. And they were fighting. I heard that was good. DrunkenAtheistStudio45 says, I got back on Ritalin for the first time since childhood and realized I felt miserable for the past 25 years for no reason. Yeah.

We have helpful stuff to just make you do stuff. Liquor. Claptrap2Destroyer410 says, Money. Thank you. LloydLewin is here for 15 Australian. I wouldn't play an ISOM game, but objectively I'd play the hell out of an Eric Gly game. Eric

running around a warehouse being chased by men dressed as bunnies. Okay, so this is actually a good idea. Dressed as bunnies, giant eyes. Somebody make us a Pac-Man game where like you have 30 seconds of having to like organize your crates and the lights turn off and a bunch of like bunnies chase

you around. You have to get away from them until it's morning again. He's collecting comics off the ground. You've got to get him charity comics. I've got to get all these charity comics to ship. And all of a sudden, the lights come down, and the bunnies and the turtles and the man with the scissors come chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. Joe Cool for five.

Boogie almost was the fat white gem, and Harley Mornstein was almost the blue gem. But turned out Richard and him get along, get this man on the show. Yeah, Harley's cool. I thought Rich from ReviewTechUSA was about to become a gem, but he redeemed himself. He's just a goofball.

I want Shadiversity's gem. Oh, that guy's a weirdo, man. He's a weirdo. His AI sucks. It's so bad. And he that guy's a weirdo, man. He's a weirdo. His AI sucks. It's so bad, and he's, like, so obsessed with it. Yeah, he's not any good at it. Did you see my AI thumbnail of Brie Larson holding a bomb? Oh, yeah.

It took two seconds to make that. Yeah. And it's hilarious. Well, you didn't have to Photoshop your wife's head on it for some reason. No, and I didn't have to put my wife's head on it for any reason. Stone cold, flea for five. You don't stop drinking diet soda or juice cocktail. All right, you know what?

Shut up. I'm going to drink anything that doesn't have calories, and I'm going to stop listening to, well, actually, the thing is about preservatives. President asks, Vito, please give me your best weight loss advice. The edge of a building is always just five minutes away. Chop your head off. Chop your fucking head off.

You lose a lot of weight. Stone Cold Flea for two says, did you ever play Trap Gunner on the PS1? I actually bought a copy of that during COVID when video game prices were soaring and it felt like if you didn't buy it, you were never going to be able to buy it. Which was wrong. Now all the prices are back down.

But I do have a copy of Trap Gunner. I have not played it. Nitro for ten puts a picture of a menorah. Don't read it! I can just say it's next to a picture of an explosive device. Don't read it. I can just say it's next to a picture of a explosive device. Because they're saying

Israel is the bomb. Israel is the bomb. Man, don't be crazy. Glow warmization. Vito, what is the best criticism you've gotten of Super Killer? Well, I'll tell you

Dick's note that I tried to deliver on which is that the female character needs to make a choice. So I had her make a choice and now... It's too realistic.

So that was a good piece of criticism. There was something else that was good though. You want to hear Eric's? Yeah. Just fucking play it. Do you have to get to your thing? You got to go to a thing, huh? Let's see.

We can play it on the next episode. I know, but he'll have said more retarded shit then. I know. Just play this one clip. All right, let me load it. Let me load it. There's some other good piece of criticism. Criticism.

It's just total gibberish here is Eric July on this fucking goofball Tony from Act of Movies told me some of my jokes were hack and then I changed the jokes and then I think Dick said the jokes I replaced them with are also hack so I keep changing things to fix things and then probably making it worse I don't think

I told you why I told you why those jokes don't work those musical jokes are good that's a good joke I don't think the replacement joke... I told you why. I told you why those jokes don't work. Those musical jokes are good. That's a good joke. I don't remember the musical one. Because it actually sets up what he does in the universe, that he has to, like, study the different heroes. So it is about the character. You're learning about what the character does before a mission.

Hey, man, if the joke works, keep it. It's a stupid joke, but a lot of jokes are stupid. But it's a joke that serves a purpose, at least. Yeah. I don't remember which one. Some jokes serve a purpose. That's the other thing. So it's like hard to.

Here it is. What show is this? I don't know. He keeps going to these channels with guys who have like a thousand followers, and I'm like. Trying to milk their fans for cash. He's building a little grassroots thing. I know what he's doing. I get it.

Because now these guys are going to be fiercely loyal where they go, that big YouTube guy came on my channel. He can do no wrong. You guys should go buy his shitty comic. I don't care about your money or your respect. This is exactly the same thing that Tommy Tallarico used to do. He went on every podcast, even if he only had like 500 followers.

That's how he built this fucking weird cult, man. A con artist. You like that Tommy Tallarico video. Did you watch yeah another a con artist you like that tommy talarico video did you watch the whole thing it's like four hours like half of it like all right i'm burnt out on it's a good video though it's pretty interesting he really fucked up he fucked up a lot of stuff it's it seems impossible to fuck up yeah he had like 20 million dollars yeah okay here you go and i'm gonna open it up we'll see what some of the folks who are on the live chat have but what's the best oh that's always a mistake let's go to the live chat to see what some of the folks who are on the live chat have. But what's the best criticism you've gotten from ISM1 and how did you apply it?

Sorry, I interrupted that. I'm going to open it up to see what some of the folks who are on the live chat have. But what's the best criticism you've gotten from ISM1 and how did you apply it if any to you know your ongoing work yeah uh i think the one that uh got me and i will say i will credit chuck for this um you know there are certain things and chuck dixon that is uh and the first i bet i got of this is actually coming out of another story and then applying that to kind of ice on one. But, you know, the way he approaches storytelling is like, yeah, you could have this layout and, you know, draft or whatever, you know it seems kind of insignificant thing that that needs to be either number one expanded on or completely swapped out. There's no like sacrifice there.

You don't just kind of run with it. It's like, hey, OK, here's this thing here. I can't make this make sense. OK, quick check. He's not answering this question. What do you think he's trying to say the criticism was? Clearly he got criticism from Chuck Dixon, and the criticism was a very gentle way of saying none of this makes sense.

No, Chuck Dixon said Eric Geline's a good writer. Yes, and then he said, but unfortunately your writing is so good, none of it makes sense on this page. What do you think he's trying to say? I believe what he's trying to say is that you shouldn't be too precious about any individual idea or panel and be ready to throw it out if need be. Maybe. Okay, let's see. There's no, like, sacrifice there.

You don't just kind of run with it. It's like, hey, okay, here's this thing here. I can't make this make sense. Let's try to make it make sense, and maybe we just change out. It could be something as minor as a simple motivation for a particular character. And I'm not saying minor like motivation is minor. I'm saying like a minor like, okay, this character,

you could get to that end game, right, of what this is how the character is acting out on that motivation, right? But it is very. So the story. Yeah. You could get to the story. Well, he's saying you've written motivations for your characters, and those motivations are based on an end point you want the characters to arrive at. But they don't make sense in and of themselves.

Okay. So like, I saw him punches a guy in the face, and that's based on a motivation you've set up for him where he hates people's faces. Where he wants to beat that guy up. Right. Okay. So what is he saying about that motivation? That it doesn't exist, I think.

Or that you could come up with a different reason why he wants to punch the guy and not be beholden to previous motivations that you've established in your head for the character? I guess. I don't know. It's total nonsense. I really don't. Yeah, it's a lot of – there's a lot of words here.

Okay, here's more. Very important on that middle part and, like, how they're getting there, that vehicle, if you will. So if there was one thing that I would have changed, probably – not necessarily changed, but I probably would have added to the page count. Isom 2 was 112 pages. Isom 1 easily could have been that. It was that conflict that happened between AlphaCore and Yira. What I would have done was probably added a couple of more pages to have that. Yeah, we're picking up where we left off at

some point with that with that story but i think i saw one could have used just a tad bit more more perspective for those characters especially with with them being the next book it is that we're we're kind of coming out with what i would have done if changed if any was you had that that conflict that they had with yaira i would have spelled that out maybe a little bit wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute bro how does he use so many words and i'm like yeah this is so confusing yeah okay okay all right oh did you know the uh shaft actor died tragically uh with with her head knocked down the block that way it's more easily explained uh because she runs in the ice um because of that uh so i would have probably shown that i would have probably shown that if i added pages

uh but i also would have had to i would have loved to have some another kind of interaction there uh when ryan tells her hey you know you were told not to return so it's more adding addition to that so i could kind of it doesn't need much it doesn't i wouldn't have had to need like five ten pages even a couple i think would have given a little bit more perspective so you know what anyone is doing is that Is that you're trying, you don't want to have fluff, right? So that was one of the things that I was always afraid of. I was like, hey, with the first book, like, okay, I don't want to spend too much time doing this. I need to get kind of to the point.

So it's that balance of you don't want to give too much, but you also don't want to give too little. So if there was anything, I don't want to say change, because I don't necessarily regret it. And yeah, we could pick up where we left off. But just to give more perspective on that conflict between the Alphaport and the Ira,

definitely setting up the next books, I would have added just a couple more pages there for sure. Okay. Okay, stop. stop, stop. So there's an actual... Right before the payoff.

There's a correct answer to that question. Yeah. The answer is, I wish I had left in the page where Isom actually punches Santwon after jumping towards him. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. Instead of having them just land next to each other.

I wish I would have made the motivations more clear and their previous history together. I wish I would have made that clear. He had that giant long thing to basically say, I think there could have been more lead up to the fight between Yira and Alpha Corps. More. There should have been more. That was my big problem.

I have no idea how that connects to him saying, the character motivations and the logical end point. I'm like, I don't think any of that connect. I feel like he's changed what he was talking about halfway through it. You think? And tried to see if anyone would notice. Do you think Chuck said that in six minutes or whatever it was? I think Chuck probably just said, yeah, I'm writing the Alpha Corps book and I don't know

anything about these motherfuckers because you didn't put it in the last book. And their motivations are completely mystifying to me. Yeah. And Eric took that as, well, I wouldn't change the book. There's nothing wrong with the book. But if I wanted to, and you don't want too much. I would have added some additions. Yeah.

Oh, there you go. David Gomez for two. Ashley Babbitt noises. Candice Marie for 20. Star Fox 64. Love the multiplayer Mapsgiving with those Little planes

Doing the reverse clip On the corners Taking everyone off Slippy was the goat Fuck you Vito For actually making me Like something about you Well I'm sorry

But Star Fox 64 is Probably the best N64 game Yeah I love it Verico for 279 Canadian War is kind of like

Paintball Connor Brinson for Five European dollars. Dick, don't be harsh. Crash Team Racing is incredible. It's got that girl with big tits, but, you know, I don't know. It's just a Mario Kart ripoff. Helios for $2.

Says a penis. Thank you. LP Dirty T for $5. Biggest problem is IDF war propaganda using Western movie media. Makes me want a Palestine Israel Harry Potter cut. You're a Jew, Harry. I've seen that joke on Twitter. Hater headquarters for five. Ripa's strongest hater here. Great show, gents.

Thank you, Hater. Love your work, Hater. You're doing good work. Cerebral friction for two. Merrick Health is more plates, more dares clinic. Yeah, Merrick Health is what people... People want me to go to Merrick Health, so I'll try that. Jose M for two, Vito's Wallow. Okay, it's something about me eating cum.

I cum buckets for two, don't forget to jihad women. Former artist for two, Vito, if you don't eat, you'll lose weight. Fascinating. Eric Wong for two, half-life of caffeine in your system is six hours. Yeah. Oh, shit. Tylenol pain relief for five. What did you think it was? I don't know, like four hours system is six hours. Yeah. Oh, shit. Tile it all pain relief for five. What did you think it was?

I don't know. Like four hours total. Two hours. Three hours. Whatever. Hey, guys. Big fan of the show. Going to be in LA for a week starting tomorrow and I've never been.

What should I do? Also, what's the intro song? The intro song is a AI thing, which I want to put on the website. I don't know where it is. I got to find it. You should give me admin. Did you get my thing where I'm like, give me admin privileges so I can add pages? Yeah, I'll get right on it.

Because then I can add the songs and all that shit. Wait, what should he do in LA? Go to the... See a Dodger game. Go to the observatory. You gotta go to the observatory. That's like a nice view. Go to Hollywood Boulevard.

You'll love it. Walk around, see all the stars on the ground. He's fucking with you. That's not it Love it Go to some cool restaurants There's some cool restaurants David Gomez for five

Biggest problem is People who point out Humans are the only ones Who drink milk after infancy Like they were not The only species Flying in tubes At 10,000 feet

There's been good restaurants I did go to Tam O'Shanter For the first time I saw that It was a big steak At noon I broke my diet For that one

I wanted to eat a whole cow When's your next weigh in? I think it's next week Okay I saw that. It was a big steak at noon. I broke my diet for that one. I wanted to eat a whole cow. When's your next weigh-in? I think it's next week. Okay. It's probably this week. Killer of Linos for five. Don't blindly agree with Vito.

They studied people's brains for different cultures under MRI, showing them different faces. There's universal beauty. That's not objective. Yeah, but beauty is not a universal concept. Right. If you define it in math, it's the math that's universal. Thank you. If you show it to a child or an old man, they'll have a different...

No, they will still think the same thing's beautiful, but that doesn't mean it's real. Geeks for five. Maybe my son, my little baby boy Vito, will learn how to say my name. Geeks? It looks like geeks. Yeah. Icon buckets for two.

Fine, Vito, I'll write with you. Stop begging. All right, my new writing partner. There you are. You can write with Icon Buckets. Icon Buckets. Super killer. You can buckets for two. Fine, Vito. I'll write with you. Stop begging. All right. There you are. You can write with Icon Buckets. Icon Buckets. Super killer. You can write with Eric.

By Vito and Icon Buckets. Okay. Do you want an editor credit on that? Well, not an editor credit. What do I give you a credit? Special thanks? Don't give me. Yeah, special thanks.

I'll put you in special thanks. Let's see. All right. Beat Hair Philosopher 2. Dick likes my editing. So there. do I? Joe Cool I don't know

is that your editor? no Joe Cool for 5 there's a clinic with more plates more dates try the other PKI guys to get you in veto

Marka Durka Woody's Gamer Tag the FPS show okay I gotta send something to one of those guys Peter Smith for 5 3 weeks with a new soundboard

will make will you please make a what it is I suck the Hulk for Eric July one of those guys. Peter Smith for five. Three weeks with a new soundboard. Will you please make a What It Is, I Suck the Colk for Eric July trying to get this past the super chat filter. Did he say that? I Suck Cox? I think you're going to have to make it happen. Trick him into do it? Okay.

You're going to have to go through a bunch of different clips. Somebody do that for me. That would be a good one. Stinky Poopy Face for five. Please take this $5 for my 67 hour work week that I just clocked out from. Someone please help me. Thank you. We'll happily take that off your hands.

Killer Volanos for two. Vito's liver doesn't make enough SHBG to use the test. I don't know. Manny Muskets for five. Hey, Manny. Criticism Translation. Yes, exactly. You have a bunch of stuff that happens for no reason. You have a bunch of stuff that happens for no reason.

You have a bunch of stuff that happens for no reason here, Eric. What do you want me to... That is what's happening. Jay Thompson for five. Hassani and Eric July are the same. They give long, confusing answers with unnecessarily big words. I had the fact that they don't have a real answer. He really sounded horrible.

You got to add addition. What did he say? Add additions. Add additions to this. Additive additions. Jose M for five. Biggest problem news segment. Incoherent rambling eponics featuring Eric Geline.

That is what it is. That is what it is. It is what it is. What it is what it is. It is what it is. All right, that's it. Thank you, everybody. What a great show.

Guys, real quick. I actually remembered this this time. Yeah, there you go. Biggestproblem.show. Vote on all the problems. Patreon.com slash biggestproblem. Patreon.com slash biggestproblem. Back.by slash biggestproblem. Thanks for coming by

and have yourself a very spooky Halloween. Proud of you. Halloween bonus episode now available. Geeks, why would that be? That's not a difficult name. Yeah, what did I say it was before?

G33X? Hi, geeks. Thanks for the five. All right, goodbye, everybody. Bye-bye.