The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 115

Episode Date: November 18, 2023

I think that's getting worse. That's getting way worse. That's better. That's more human. Yeah, he looks more human there. I don't know how colors work. I know you don't. I've just been guessing.

Sean always sits there. I'm like, I don't know, man. You look like shit. I think I look fine. He looks smaller than us, though. Can you zoom in on him? Who, me? Yeah, it's like you're a little tiny guy in between two huge-faced morons.

That's better. Is that right? Shout out to John McAfee. Beautiful. You're going to start on a downer note. Nah, bro. Let me flip it over. He was a fucking...

He was a legend, dude. Yeah, he was. John McAfee. Didn't you talk to John McAfee at one point? I did. He gave me the advice of never tell a woman your real name. That was his dating advice. Really?

For men. Never tell her your real name. Why is that? It's like, because everything is, I think, well, I don't want to speak. Yeah, don't give her any power and, you know, never tell the truth. Yeah. Even so much as your name. Wow.

But he's bullshitting. Yeah. Did you watch his Vice documentary? That was a long time ago. Is that the shitting in the mouth? Yeah, and they like doxed him halfway through the documentary and like the FBI is coming after him.

Is that how the FBI found him? Because of Vice? Yeah, because of Vice. This fucking guy. I'm making sure this show's working. Show is working. Do you believe that he shit in those ladies' mouths? Yeah, 100%.

I thought they shit in his mouth, no? Oh, they shit in his mouth? They shit in his mouth, yeah. That's still cool, though. Yeah. He, like, owns them now. He was at a level of, like, what do you call it? Hell-raiser level debauchery, where it's like, you know,

he had gotten to the point where women were shitting his mouth. The next step was he was going to have to find the fucking lament configuration and have a bunch of hooks in his bag. He was one step away from... Actually, that's probably why he disappeared. That's why he disappeared. Yeah. Okay.

Is that he reached the level of hedonism that he had to hunt down some ancient device to transport him to a level of BDSM level sadomasochistic insanity. Don't pretend like you don't know how to say it. You're at the clubs all the time. Don't pretend like you don't know how to say that. Nobody says the whole word. You say BDSM. What does the BD part stand for?

Big dick. Big dick. Big old dick. Sadomasochism. Sadomasochism. I don't know what it means. Sadomasochism. Sadomasochism. I don't know what it means. Sadomasochism. Bondage. Bondage.

Oh, shit. Well, B is for bondage, but what does the S stand for? Dick. No, S can't stand for... Dominance, probably. Bondage, domination. Sadomasochism. Sadomasochism. Sadomasochism.

This is going to be a sexy show tonight. Everyone's showing off. Wow. There's a beautiful woman in the room. Yeah, there's sexual knowledge. Exactly. You know who's not going to have a sexy night tonight, though? Deaf noodles?

We're talking about that already. I'm still refreshing this. What happened? You don't know. Liz going to a sexy party? Shut up. This guy. You're going to a sexy party? This guy. You're going to a sexy party?

Yeah, you know who has two thumbs and is not going to a sexy party? That guy over there. This is not fair. Are we talking about this right away? I thought this was going to be your problem. I mean, I don't know. Is it a... Tonight... Stop laughing. I need to know what's happening. I know you need don't know. Is it a... Tonight... Stop laughing.

I know you didn't know what was happening. It's a big event. Big, sexy event that's happening tonight for only LA's most sexiest. Oh, shit. You're going to Adam 22's party? Well, one of us is. Oh, shit. You know he's got me blocked on Twitter? Oh, no!

He's got Vito blocked on the guest list for his party. I'm not blocked. Just something has gone wrong. There's been a mistake. Me and Dick both received invitations to Adam 22's birthday party. We both RSVP'd. Dick got on the list. And I just got turned down for no

apparent reason whatsoever he got a text saying your list is no longer pending wait from Adam? from who? from the automated system you know I don't want to tell this guy

I got a text that says, Your RSVP is pending for Adam 22's birthday bash. We'll let you know if you get on the list. That was Monday. Yeah. So wait, what's going to happen at this party? Are they going to train on his wife? I don't know.

That's disrespectful, Death Noodles. I don't appreciate that you said that. It's going to be a carnival of excitement and fun that Dick's going to go to. Yeah. It didn't even say your decline. It just says your RSVP is no longer pending. You're not party viable, Vito. Am I not a party viable individual?

Am I not a PVI? Yeah, you're not a PVI at all. VIP. PVI. Party inviolable. You RSVP'd today and got on the list in Bible. You RSVP'd today and got on the list? No, I RSVP'd right away. I'm like, this is

going to be the sexual event of the century. I got to RSVP the second. Boom. Maybe it's my fault for RSVPing late. You're just like wandering in at the last minute. Can I hop in there? Exclusive party, the biggest porn star in the world.

I knew right away that wasn't happening. They're not going to let me in with a plus one. Well, I have not gamified the celebrity birthday, okay? I don't know how to play that. So his RSVP was first come, first serve. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe.

Yeah. Regardless, if anyone knows how to contact Adam 22 in the next three hours. Oh, oh, oh! Adam 22 just, he just sent me a message. Adam, don't let him on! No! Don't let him on! Don't let him in!

He sent me a Twitter message just now! No! Adam, no! Adam, no! No! No! It's Adam 22's birthday party! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe

from fake swan songs to telling murderers their wrongs. I'm your host, Dick Madsen. Joining me as always is Vito Gisbaldi in the studio. In the studio this week, a very special episode, The Amazing Death Noodles. How you doing, buddy? I'm doing great. Thanks for having me, fellas. This is exciting.

I love you guys. I love it when you guys did the show over at the spot. That was great. We love your spot, the Death Noodles Comedy Club. Yeah. Is where we hosted the Well not the first live show The first like good

I don't want to say The first good live show We hate The guy Stephen Salvatore No we like Stephen Torres Idiot Stop it His house sucked

I like him He threw up after his set In his own house Cause he tried to smoke a cigar Probably just inhaled it He threw up He threw up in his backyard Who the fuck inhaled a cigar? probably just inhaled it. He threw up. He threw up in his backyard. Who the fuck inhaled a cigar?

An idiot. He threw up between two Virgin Mary statues in his Mexican parents' backyard. That's true. You have a bunch of religious paraphernalia back there. Oh, there's a Virgin Mary! Oh, there's another Virgin Mary! I liked that venue.

We had a good show there. Yeah, we did. Your show was better, though. did. You guys packed it out. This was the first time it was not in a Mexican person's grandmother's basement or backyard. Yeah. The Deaf Noodles Comedy Club in what? Downtown? Not downtown. In Hollywood.

It's in WeHo, yeah. Yeah, West Hollywood. How's that going for you? It's going fucking great. That's awesome. Yeah, we got shows. We got a bunch of shit coming up. I think that's cool.

You know, most of these YouTube guys never, I don't know. They just sell comics. These YouTube guys just try to shake their audience down for these shitty comics that they're always shilling. I've heard of this guy, Eric July. Heard of him? Yeah, we don't talk about him anymore. Yeah, never do we ever

talk about that guy. He never comes up. What did Adam22 say? Tell me, he just, I'll look into it then he's never gonna write back. He said, what did you put your name as? And I told him, so. What did you put, that's classic stall technique. Oh yeah,

what'd you put your name as? Oh man, I got really busy that night. Well, regardless, he saw my message. You should have told him you put your name down as me, and then he would have fucked up my reservation. I don't want to... Look, if it's packed, I don't have to go. Wait, but did you get

in, though? Are you in? I don't know. He sent me a message. He's going to say, Fire Marshal said Fire Marshal. It's a safety concern. Look, all I know is There's going to be a bunch of porn stars in food trucks And that sounds pretty good

What order are you interested in those two things? Honestly I'm going straight to the food truck We are not making weight If I make it into Adam 22's birthday We are not making weight I'm going to set up at the sushi bar all night Just going nuts Can you take the sushi off the lady

So I can get to it faster, please? This is just such a pain in the ass. The tempura roll fell down into her crevice. Now I can't even get at it. Have you guys seen all the videos that are going viral on Twitter? The video of the woman with a fish up her fucking... No, what? You haven't seen that?

Bro, it was like a whole week on Twitter. It was a dude getting fucked by a horse. Is this Hamas related? Normal? No, this is like just going viral on Twitter. Just a dude getting fucking mounted by a horse. Is that the one classic video where the guy dies? Is IBM upset about their ad running?

Mr. Hands? Mr. Hands? He didn't die. And then there's a video of a woman shoving a fucking fish up her pussy that came about the next day. Ever since Elon Musk took over Twitter, man, it's just no man's land. It's just fun. It's great.

It's a lot of fun. A lot of fun. Okay, so last week, here's the problem. Problems from last week. Do you know how we do the show? Yeah, he's probably watched a live show, so he's probably got an idea. Tinnitus won. It's a big winner, which I have.

How many people are suffering from tinnitus that you won? A lot, like 10% of people, you know? And they all want to tell you about it. It's not 10%. Probably more. I bet you did get a bunch of messages from people, huh? Yeah, and then one guy was even DMing me, and then he goes, oh, shit, I just got to the part where you said, don't tell you about your personal tinnitus story.

Like, I don't want, you know, me telling you about my problems is not an invitation for you to tell me about your problems. Yeah. What do I want to fucking blow my brains out of? What am I, a priest over here, right? So he goes, oh, yeah, I have it so bad, and this, this. He goes, oh, shit, I just got to the point where you said don't fucking tell me if you have it. I'm just joking, guys. How is your tinnitus?

It's horrible. Fake retirement. That was a good one for me. I'll take second. Better than coming to dead last. What do you think about it? Did you see who said they were retiring? Boogie, first of all.

Wait, Boogie said he's retiring? Well, he said when the documentary came out that it was all over and everybody was going to hate him. He's not gonna retire dude yeah he's like addicted you retire from being fat yeah right have you been following the new updates in the boogie debacle where the documentary like said how much money he has but that number was just wrong and like shit like that it was fake he's got more money than he claims that he has the insinuation yeah I think it also said he spent like 200 grand On hookers but then he said it was only

40 grand I'm not sure And what do you call it that Moudahar guy In front of him about it he's like well You watched the documentary if the numbers are wrong Why don't you tell the guy to change them He goes you know I wasn't really reading the screen That much and I'm like this is the worst lie i could i lie all the time and that's like in my all-time worst lies would be

well i you know i wasn't really reading the no if somebody lists your finances in a documentary you're gonna be like going through it with a fine-tooth comb man he's such a fucker yeah he's very manipulative i wish he would just stop. Just stop. Just give me, you know. Just say, I thought people would feel worse for me if I lied about how much money I have. If I had the Flash's superpower, that's the first thing I would do. Run to Boogie's house and go like. And then run home.

And then just relax. People love your animosity towards Boogie. Like, ask the comments. Wait, you hate him? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's not really hate. It's like he needs, he just wants that. He brings it out of me. He wants the attention, yeah. He wants to be hated, so in a way you're giving

him what he wants. Okay, backseat murderers, then that was a good one. Unqualified applicants was dead last. Yeah, I don't know why. Well, because you made it into like a thing about getting a writing partner. No, because you made it into a thing about getting a writing partner. No, I made it into a thing. He wants a writing partner. I don't want a writing partner. I made it into people coming to me

saying they can edit videos and stuff, and they don't know how to edit videos at all. Why do you want a writing partner, though? Well, I need someone to kick jokes back and forth with. Dick's too busy to... I don't know.

Oh, you could always use ChatGPT. I could use ChatGPT. ChatGPT can't tell if a joke's good, though. Uh, well... It's just a coin toss, right? Yeah. Um, okay. I did fix some jokes based on notes that people gave me.

Crimson Shin says Vito should lose mouse privileges for that bitch fit he threw on the show. I don't remember any bitch fit, but that's what Crimson Shin says Vito should lose mouse privileges for that bitch fit he threw on the show. I don't remember any bitch fit, but that's what Crimson Shin says. Oh, you mean me having a fit that a crucial piece of show-related technology did not function? Perhaps. And the easy solution which I paid my money to obtain was not allowed to be

used because of some strange ego from my co-host? You can use it. I plugged it in. When I brought that mouse into the studio, you're like, we don't need that. I already got a mouse for you.

I'm like, yeah, that one doesn't work. But you were already fucking around with it and clicking buttons and stuff and messing up the show already. I did not mess up anything. Everything's great.

Because you fiddle, he's fiddling constantly, like, Vito's over here while we're doing a show going like, doing fucking origami. He's doing ASMR. Yeah. Origami ASMR. He's doing the wrong kind of show watch him watch and he

starts like bouncing his foot against the table so this mic is just like going like this in my mouth looks like we're having an earthquake or like i have a little i have my little ticks okay we all do all right like you're compulsive need to drink liquor okay i sometimes fiddle with a piece of paper thank you for calling that a tick there you go that's a tick um scram inc says listening to veto talk about how government regulations work feels the same as trying to convince people juice cocktails a diet supplement interesting yeah well, maybe I should interject here with my counterpoint to that. Okay. This comment says...

You can just read the comment. You don't need a whole preamble. Shut up. I was just listening to the latest episode. Dick is a fool. It wasn't milk. It was formula for babies. It doesn't just come out of the cow like that.

That would ruin the baby's stomachs. The Chinese put melamine, an industrial paint ingredient that's white powder-like formula in it because it tricks the machine into giving a false reading for protein. It's an argument for more regulation because in Europe or the U.S.,

third-party certification is required and random inspections happen all the time, so it would be caught straight away. More regulations. More regulations. Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before. Yeah. and random inspections happen all the time, so it would be caught straight away. More regulations. More regulations. Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before. Yeah.

Regulations didn't work. We need more. Dennis, how do you feel about poisoning children? Should that be illegal? Of course. Thank you. Thank you. So he's on my side.

Just ban every product from China. Just make him at home. Yeah, I'm down with that. That's a good idea. That's a different topic, but yes. Avahain says, funniest opening you've had in a while. Fuck you. Onion Desu says, no way am I hearing Vito complain about editors using bad quality clips and videos

after that Blue Beetle review he put up with the crappy camera footage he shoved in there for no reason. Well, I like it with the footage and things. But yes, when the movie's still in theaters, I have to use a camera if I'm going to put footage. But I just didn't put footage in the most recent one, and nobody cares. Nobody cares. Lyle Dillon says, the tits in Vito's comic are not big enough. Which is true. That's a big problem.

Yeah. That is a massive problem. You can make them as big as you want, and you go, well, I don't want them to be distracting. Yeah. The point of the book is being distracted for my fucking life. You can have a woman with a healthy-sized pair of tits. They don't have to be ball-bustingly huge. They can just be reasonably sized.

I hope Adam22's listening to this right now and says, I don't want this guy. I don't want to party with this sort of attitude. If we even get the address, you didn't even get the address yet. Okay, I've got a segment that I know you love. Vito's Twitter. God damn it. Vito's Twitter. Oh my God.

This is a segment where we review things that Vito has tweeted. This is a good tweet, though. I'm proud of this tweet. I don't know why the fuck he would have said this. Vito's Twitter. Veto being Veto on Twitter. How many views does this tweet have? That's not the most important thing in life.

That is the most important thing in life. Veto has a screenshot of the show Invincible where the superhero Invincible is laying on his back and his girlfriend's on top of him and she's reaching for condoms on the dresser and she says, I bought these. So they're about to have protected sex. They're about to have protected sex.

And Vito has said, imagine having the chance to become pregnant with a godlike immortal child and deciding to insist on condoms. Amber is the dumbest woman alive. You're talking about this lady.

Yes. Is dumb because she doesn't want to get inseminated. Because she doesn't want to be impregnated by what is basically a young Superman. And so this is, these are two 18-year-olds. They just graduated high school in this episode, I think. And you're upset that. I'm upset that they're not impregnating each other. Or one's not impregnating the other.

Why did you think that when you saw this? Because I'm a rational human being, and if you gave me the opportunity to father a god, I would obviously say yes. Okay, I got a question. To the point where, like, if I was a woman in this universe, I would be going into every superhero's trash and trying to pull fucking cum condoms out of it to get myself pregnant. Like, if you make a superhero baby,

you're set for life. That's it. Alright, I got a question though. If it's superhero sperm, wouldn't that destroy the woman? You gotta roll those dice. Do you want to live a normal life 100% or do you want a 50%

chance of either dying or making a superhero baby? I would roll the dice. Even if it's a 10% chance, I would roll the dice. So you think that for the next 18 years, she should just be a concubine? Yes. So her son might be a... This is entirely rational. This is absolutely...

If you existed in a universe where superheroes are real, you should be doing everything you can to get your hands on... If you're a woman, you should be trying to seduce them. And if you're a man, you should be trying to steal the fucking eggs of a lady and artificially... Why are you so into this? Like, having a baby that's a superhero baby? Yeah.

Okay, you know how we live? I don't think it's as good as what you're saying, though. No, just because you guys, you're not using your imagination. If you had any sort of super power access, first of all, your money-making potential is unlimited, okay? If you have a Superman baby, it's like,

what should we do today, Dad? Hey, how about you fly to that asteroid and mine it for cobalt? Yeah. That would be fun. What if he doesn't become a superhero, though? Then you just make another, you know, whatever. Then you failed. Then you made a shitty kid. Like, no one's ever done that before, you know? He's like an emo. He's like, I don't want to

live up to your expectations, Dad. Isn't that what would happen? Have you watched the shitty parents, you know? Well, yeah. Have you watched the Adam Eve spinoff show? Yeah, I watched that shit. Okay, and the part where her dad's like, I gotta go work at Burger Mart because I'm paying attention. She comes in, she goes, she takes an apple off the

counter and turns it into pure gold. Says, Dad, go sell this for $50,000. Yeah, I mean, it's a cartoon, though. It is a cartoon. So I'm saying How come you're so angry that the first time they have sex, it's not to inseminate her? She should have been doing this while they were in high school. The second she got her...

The second she realized that Mark Grayson had superpowers, her one goal should have been to fill herself with a godchild and give birth to the Messiah. A lot of people... I'm getting a lot of... Three million views. A lot of people are upset. A lot of people are creeped out what are the quote tweets like

that's what a fucking weirdo why would you say this look at the quote tweets real quick how do I see the quote tweets hit the three buttons yeah

that one and then hit view post engagements oh okay and then oh wow I didn't know you could do this cartoons are for children

white people when a black character Goes through character development And it's that brand again Okay cause that's the thing There's a lot of people who think Imagine wanting teenagers to have intercourse Not all teenagers Just this teenager

In this specific situation Okay Alright so there's a lot of people who think this Amber character is being unfairly hated on, so there's that, and they think it's white guys who are being racist towards her. What the fuck is wrong with you people? See, that one I understand. That one has a lot of, if you look at how many likes, that one has 43,000 likes.

Damn! Holy shit! You're gonna pretend that you're, like, doing this for engagement farming, but I know that you think, you really think this. I absolutely think this. Yeah, because people are asking me that you're like doing this for engagement farming, but I know that you think I absolutely think that yeah Yeah, cuz people are asking me. They're like oh you just want to have sex with them And I'm like if I was amber I would absolutely allow invincible to fill me with his godchild I would let I would let him and all his friends run a train and fill me with their fucking God children

If you make a superhero kid like your life is infinitely better, that's it Can you imagine if Superman was your son? That's crazy. That would be incredible. Uncle Ben's life wasn't necessarily better. He didn't die. Spider-Man has low-level powers. Then you can't do anything.

You're just being on guard for getting killed by supervillains all the time. Pa Kent never took advantage of the fact. If they went to Superman, they're like, I think you'd be like a shitty dad for a superhero. I would be a really, I'd look like Tiger Woods' dad. He would turn into a super villain pretty quick. Because I'd be like, hey son, dad needs a new truck. They're making him

at this plant in China. Can you just fly over there and take one? No one's going to notice. Wow, a lot of people really hate you. They're really upset. I tweeted that, like, I just shitted it out It's not even spelled right I spelled imagine wrong A lot of people think you're a huge creep

All these people think I'm a huge creep for saying They're like oh yeah god forbid people practice safe sex And I'm like This isn't a safe sex scenario A god has come to your bedroom And is giving you a once in a lifetime opportunity Stop saying it's like god It is god Superman is god. It's like Superman is God

literally. It's the closest thing to a God. Make a God baby. Yeah. What do you think? If you have the chances somebody put it. Would you have this crazy reaction to this scene in a comic book? Nah, I'd just be like, okay.

If a girl, alright I'll put it this way. If a girl, all right, I'll put it this way. If a girl said to you, Jeff Bezos came over my house and he wanted to bear back me and I insisted on using a condom, wouldn't you say you're the dumbest bitch who ever lived? No. You could have had Jeff Bezos' kid. That's a billion dollars for free for the rest of your life. Well, it kind of is the rest of your life, though. for free for the rest of your life.

Well, it kind of is the rest of your life, though. Yeah, the rest of your life is spent with Jeff Bezos' billion dollars and whatever his stupid bald-headed monkey-looking kid. Yeah. All right? And then you've got to do those photo shoots probably with him where he's like a cow rancher, you know? Whatever you've got to do, I'd take the billion to make a kid. Okay, well, that's weird.

It's not weird. I'm the most rational individual in this scenario and this society. Is it time for problems? I think so, and you're the winner. My problem is blowing your load early. Speaking of loads. I honestly didn't think I would get into the Adam 22 party. You've got to check my messages.

I thought I'd be like Vito over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get iced out. Well, enjoy it. Now you're in it. Now you're there. Yeah. Now I'm in the Valhalla.

I'm in the promised land. Yes. Problem is I got shit-faced last night. Blew my load early. So now I'm all hungover and tired. And I'm like, oh, man. Did you not realize the party was potentially tonight? Well, I have this thing called alcoholism where even if I know I shouldn't be, I will drink way too much.

I blew my load early. Well, you know what the cure for alcoholism is, right? Lay it on me. More alcohol. Let me see. Is that the cure? Oh, I've been doing it wrong this whole time. So you what? You had a big wild night last night? Well, I've been doing it wrong this whole time. So you what?

You had a big wild night last night? Well, yeah, just drinking a lot. So if you have to eat sushi off a stripper, you think you're going to struggle? I might throw up. That's pretty bad. That is deeply frowned upon. I'm not on my A game, you know? I almost wish that I was in your spot.

Almost. Almost. Almost. Almost. But definitely not. Hoping on a wing and a prayer that Adam 22 on the day of his birthday with 800 guests already coming goes, I got to make sure that fat guy who was on my podcast one time gets in. Yeah.

You guys are words with friends, buddies, aren't you? I know. That's the weird thing. I think me and Adam 22 have like a weird connection. See, I thought that too. I was worried about that. I was like, if Vito gets in and I don't get in, I'm See, I thought that too. I was worried about that. I was like, if Vito gets in and I don't get in, I'm never going to live that down. I posted on Twitter, I was playing words with friends.

I'm like, hey, look, I used all my tiles. That's not a thing you do every day. It was like a stupid tweet. Then Adam22 sent me a message. He's like, hey, do you play a lot of Scrabble? And I'm like, well, not a lot of Scrabble, but I think me and Adam22 are about to become words with friends buddies, but he's a busy man. Here's some examples of blowing your load, getting too drunk, you know, the night before, filling up on bread before Thanksgiving.

We've got Thanksgiving coming up. Yeah. Israel saying they're going to glass Gaza. And everyone's like, no, no, we're not. That's not okay. They're like, oh, okay. Wait, did they say we're going to glass not okay they're like oh okay wait did they say we're gonna where are we i don't know a bunch of people said that you're like no wait a minute

i don't know about that the israeli government said that i'm sure i'm sure one of them said it how about posting a video of how a hospital is a uh what do you call it it's a terrorist breeding ground and then realizing you kind of only found like five guns it's really yeah did it look like you know how when cops like five guns. It's really not. Did it look like, you know how when cops like arrest somebody for like a pound of weed and then they all stand around it like they just shit their pants? It looked kind of like that. Look at all this terrorism we found.

I was excited watching the video. I was like, oh man, how much terrorism is going to be in there? And it was like a couple of guns and a weird laptop. And I'm like, well, I don't know if you're supposed to bomb a hospital over that. It's not even a MacBook. Yeah, exactly. It wasn't even a MacBook. Yeah, exactly. It wasn't even a good laptop. Yeah.

Pre-ordering a video game. How's that for blowing your load early? Yeah, why would you ever do that? Yeah. Here's one. Getting pregnant with a regular child, and then a superhero comes along. You're already pregnant. Probably could wipe that out, though.

Well, I would immediately, yeah, I would go, scramble this thing out of me so I can have sex with Superman. Doing all your drugs, like, right when you get somewhere. Like, all right, let's go. Doing them all. And then you're like, oh, fuck, I'm way too, I'm messed up. I can't deal with anybody at this place.

I can't enjoy any of these things. I do too much. Again. So it's about going too hard when you should have. Exercise some restraint. Exercise some restraint. Not pacing yourself. Curbing your enthusiasm, perchance.

Well, not so much that. You're so enthusiastic about pacing yourself. Pacing yourself. So that's my problem. I just wanted to talk about the Adam 22 stuff, honestly. If you, if you, because you're. I'm going to go eat at all the food trucks. Dude, it's all I'm going to talk about the Adam 22 stuff, honestly. If you... I'm going to go eat at all the food trucks. Dude, it's all I'm going to do.

Please don't. And take pictures. I'm so mad. He says there's going to be a bunch of... I'm going to mush them together. Oh, God. If it's free food, I'm sure, right? There's going to be a bunch of food trucks.

Yeah. With all sorts of tasty delights. And all the porn stars will be busy. Yeah, exactly. When you're the only fat guy. And all the porn stars will be busy. Yeah, exactly. Doing, like, porn stuff. When you're the only fat guy at one of these, like, porn star things or whatever, or, like, I've gone to, like, stupid industry things. There is a group of, like, fat guys, though.

We all kind of go, we all, like, wink at each other. I used to go to, like, the premieres, like, when Skyrim came out. I got to go to the red carpet because it's owned by a bunch of celebrities or whatever else. And it's them and all their celebrity friends hanging out and all the video game journalists being like, whoa, they got free fucking hot dogs, man. I can eat as many as I want. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send you

pictures. Don't send me pictures because I'm just going to be mad. I'll text you. Can you bring a doggy bag home? Can you put like a little something in there? Probably could, but I'm not going to do that. I'm not walking out of a porn star. Yeah, right? Imagine just like, hey, you can't take that to go. Please, shit.

Carry it out. People think it's something else. I got a personal message from Adam22, so I think there's a good chance that something's going to happen here. What if I get kicked off while I'm... Well, that's the thing. He hasn't even sent... I don't even understand what the address is. You said he hasn't even sent the address. Yeah, but you're not even on the list. What do you care about what the address is? This is bullshit. You shouldn't even understand what the address is. You said he hasn't even sent the address. Yeah, but you're not even on the list. What do you care about what the address is?

This is bullshit. You shouldn't even know. If I was sent the address, I wouldn't even tell you because I don't want you thinking that you can show up and hang out and hope for an invite last minute. When we went, Adam22 definitely was laughing at my jokes harder than your jokes. He probably doesn't want you there for that reason.

I'm going to steal all the girls by being the funny guy at the party. Yeah. I think there's a chance. Okay. Blowing your load early. That's my problem. Well, I won't blow my load early. I'll show up once I get my invite, my evite.

Yeah. And I think I'm going to have a great night. Did you read the text that it sent you where you're no longer on the list? Yeah, it says. Did I read this on the show? It's like getting rejected from college. Yeah. It says your RSVP is pending for Adam 22's birthday bash.

We'll let you know if you get on the list. Your RSVP is no longer pending for Adam 22's birthday bash. No longer pending. No longer pending. What's the time frame between it? It's Vito's no longer pending. I'm so confused. When was this one sent? What do you mean? It's not

right there? How do you have to read it? It says it's all from Monday, though, but this isn't Monday. It gives me times, but it's not giving me the day. I don't know how long it was between those. Piece of shit. But I thought no longer pending meant that I was on the list. Oh, yeah. Because it was pending. He came over and he's like, oh, I must be

on the list too. Yeah. Because previously it was pending. Now it's no longer pending, which means it's approved. Why would you not send a text that says your artist review has been declined? Why would you say it's no longer pending? That's rude. You should like know. If something is no longer

pending, that could mean it's either good or bad. That doesn't mean. It means bad. Well, say bad then. Say, be clear with it. It's rude. I don't even know how to explain it. It's rude like RSVPing at the last minute.

That's also rude. You should have RSVPed before. You're going to call me for the party. You're going to be like, Adam 22 paid for a porn experience. For every person at the party, every person gets to take a porn star in a room and do whatever they want for 30 minutes. 30 minutes?

What am I going to do with the other 29 minutes? What am I going to do with the other 29 minutes and 59 seconds and 99 microseconds? Cry and apologize, I suppose. I'm not getting into that party.

God damn it, Adam. Come on, baby. All right, Duff Doodles, what's your... Anyone listening to the... No, don't bother Adam. He's already responding to me. If you're going to the party... Maybe I can sneak you out some food if you come and promise not to harass any of the party goers.

You can stand outside the fence and I'll pass you some stuff. Pass me some pork belly upon me or whatever. Exciting LA fusion cuisine. I'm probably not even going to eat any of that stuff. God damn it, man. It's wasted on you normies. If you're going to

have food trucks, you got to bring one fat guy to really make it worth the while of what you're paying for the food truck. You should go as Ron Jeremy if you get in so you can... I'll do that. I think Ron Jeremy's not smiled upon in those circles anymore.

Alright, so your problem is blowing your wad early? Yeah, blowing your load early. Okay, what's your problem? Damn, I feel like kind of a nerd because my problem is like. Don't worry about it. Ours problems are stupid. Just disinformation.

Disinformation. And how, yeah, social media just like amplify. Social media is basically designed to amplify that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been seeing that recently more often than not? Yeah. I mean, just go on Twitter, right? We were just talking about one of those. Like, that's propaganda. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been seeing that recently more often than not? Uh, yeah. I mean, just go on Twitter, right? We were just talking about one of those

like, that's propaganda. Right. Everyone's talking shit about my tweet, even though it makes perfect sense. It's misinformation. They're trying to claim I'm racist. Even if Amber was a white lady. You are racist. Okay. If it was a Chinese lady, I would have said you might not be able to bear a super baby to term just based on your

slender frame. Okay. But a white lady or a Hispanic lady, I would have said the exact same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen any good disinformation lately? Good disinformation? Yeah.

It's a real hot one. That seizure. Remember that one? The guy posted that little girl was having a seizure, and it turned out to be that he was like... They said that she was getting her adrenal gland extracted, and everyone was like, oh yeah, that's probably. Extracting her adrenal gland. Yeah. Was she on like a hospital table or something?

Yeah, yeah. And then it turned out it was like a guy was saving her from something. Yeah. Turned out to be normal. Oh, shit. I think you're talking about the one where, yeah, they're like, oh, they're taking her in here to harvest her organs. Yes.

Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy, who's that guy who posted? He actually got banned. Don Lucri? Don Lucri, yeah. He's fucked. He just makes shit up, like, wholesale. Oh, yeah, all the time. Yeah. So he posted a video and it's, like, a little girl and she's being, like, led

by some doctor-looking people into her room and they're going, yep, this is one of those classic child organ extractions, you know. They're putting her on the table to cut her open and take all her organs. That's why she's so scared. And everybody in the comments is just like, I can't believe this goes on. This is so horrible. I'm like, wait,

anyone can just say that and you believe it? And it turned out, of course, it was like one of those villages that's being bombed all the fucking time. And they took her in there because her village got bombed. And they were like, okay, well, let's just make sure there's no shrapnel in you or whatever else. And's even a video of her like with her dad like years later and her dad being like please stop saying these very nice people took my

daughter's organs like they were very helpful after our village got bombed uh yeah some other good ones you've seen there's so much lately uh trump won the election is a classic uh disinformation thing out there the hospital thing uh how everybodyinformation thing out there. The hospital thing. How everybody just rushed to think it was one thing. Like, oh, all these people died. That was you, Hassan. Hassan, you did that. Hey, hey, get it right.

It's Hamas piker, dude. Hamas piker. Did you see Hassan on a, what do you call it? What would Hamas do in your position if they were kicked out of Adam 22's party? They'd probably... They'd probably be very upset. They would do something about it. They'd just hang glide right into the party.

They'd hang glide into the party as retribution. You shouldn't take all the sushi. People would think that's funny if you did that. Don't you think? Like as a reference, like an homage. Should I dress as a Hamas guy to go to the party? That would be funny. I heard there was a music festival tonight.

Why do you sound Russian? Because I'm terrible at accents. That'd be pretty cool. I brought my paraglider. That was even worse. I gotta practice accents. Yeah, there's a lot of... Man, I do go nuts with the disinformation.

Some of it is just so blatantly wrong. And they always give you this line where they go even when you go here's the source, here's why you're wrong, here's why you're an idiot they go yeah but isn't the fact that I thought it could be real like doesn't that tell you something about the day and age in which we live no, you're still stupid

you don't get to go with oh we live in such a crazy time it could have been real no it couldn't have slight change so in a way we're both right We live in such a crazy time that I'm allowed. It could have been real. It could have been real. No, it couldn't have. Slight change. Yeah. So in a way, we're both right.

If comic artist Mike S. Miller is listening to this, as I know I think he listens to every episode, I constantly have to correct his grandpa boomer retweets of just like obvious bullshit. Like that one poster that always goes viral that says it's from like the Trans Rights Council. that always goes viral that says it's from the Trans Rights Council and it's like 99% of heterosexual men refuse to sleep with trans women because of

transphobia and it's supposed to look like an official poster. Everyone goes yeah, oh look, they're indoctrinating the kids with this kind of messaging and shit. I'm like some dude on 4chan made that. Come on. Yeah. It's not like an actual belief of any major organization. But then a real one happens and I'm like, well, fuck.

You guys messed it up. Now I got to look up everything because you guys – because the Israel account put out a picture of Voldemort looking at his phone and going, oh, horrible. I'm like, wait, that's real? Fuck. I do. There are some where when I look it up, I go, fuck, I can't believe that one was actually real.

Yeah. But the amount of actual disinformation is clearly outweighing the amount of good information. Have you ever got skunked on one, Death Noodles? Have you ever, like, believed one and committed to it and then said, oh, shit. Uh, I mean, I think it

happens, like, all the time with people, right? Yeah. It's like, and then you read the community notes later and you're like, oh, fuck. Like, a week late, un you're like, oh, fuck. Like, a week later, un-retweet. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I definitely got got not too long ago. And then the community notes.

See, sometimes the community notes are good. Sometimes they're bullshit, though. Yeah, sometimes people are just a little too precious with it. They're like, well, technically, instead of 1.9, it's 1.8. Have you gotten community noted? I have not. No, yeah, because I really don't tweet that much. And if I do, it's like instead of 1.9 it's 1.8. Have you gotten community noted? I have not. I really don't tweet that much and if I do it's like memes. I said what Sniper Wolf

did isn't illegal and I got community noted. You got community noted? Yeah which is bullshit. It was a link and the community note was bullshit because it wasn't even like a link to like an actual law. You know how lawyers just fill, they have like all these pages of SEO

that are just like different laws that might apply to your situation. Call us now to get a consultation. That was the community note was to one of those pages being like, well, it might possibly be illegal. If you think you're facing legal trouble, please call T.G. Barnes and Jubal.

Sounds like a good luck term. Yeah, right? I did get community and I was mad. I was like, because there's no way. And I also have not been approved to make community notes on other people's things. I don't know how you get on that list. You're not on that list either. Yes.

You're not getting on that one either, bud. Somebody alerted me. I think I posted a tweet about Eric July and somebody tried to community note it by saying, actually, AlphaCore is a huge success based on blah, blah, blah. But the community note people can see ahead of time pending community notes.

So people were messaging me being like, hey, somebody tried a community note then. I lied about Eric July. We're still talking about him every week. Oh, yeah? Even all this time later. He's talking about us every week. How's he doing Even all this time later. Yeah. So how's he doing? He's talking about us every week! How's he doing? Uh, not as

good as he wants to be. We know that. Yeah, his new Alpha Corps spelled wrong comic came out. So it's like a paramilitary group that polices superheroes, and he spelled it Alpha C-O-R-E instead of with a P. Instead of like corpse.

Corpse, yeah, yeah, yeah. Green Lantern Corps and military. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that was his decision. it alpha c-o-r-e instead of with a p instead of like corpse yeah yeah green lantern corps the military yeah uh that was maybe that was his decision i don't get it well you should spell it with a p if they're a paramilitary organization as they clearly are so it came out and all his customers are they're all spending like an average of a hundred dollars on their orders yeah they're buying all this extra shit to support his parallel economy, whatever it is. But he's lost at this point. I mean, he's down to a fourth of the number of customers, right?

Yeah. If not less. So it sold a million dollars, and this is a huge loss. This would be a huge success to anybody else. So he lost a quarter and still sold a million? Still sold a million. But he's all upset because it's not enough to pay for his warehouses. He has 12 employees.

That's the problem. If it was just a guy making a comic, he could be the happiest guy ever. But he's just blowing through that money like a psychopath. So now he's trying to make it into a cartoon, which is the most expensive thing. Yeah, it's even more expensive. He's not dumb enough to pay for the whole cartoon, which is like the most expensive thing. It's even more. Yeah. It's even more expensive than he's not dumb enough to like pay for the whole cartoon, though. No, but he keeps saying he's under NDA probably because he's like trying to pitch it to, you know, I think Tim Pool might do something.

Tim Pool might be stupid enough to fund that. It's like it costs like five thirty grand a minute. Yeah. It will cost a million bucks an episode. That would be fine. Try to find some cheap Fucked up way to do it Where would he put it

On YouTube or Isn't Tim Pool starting Their own Well yeah it would be on YouTube Daily Wire Didn't Tim Pool say He was gonna start like a They need to replace

Candace Owens right Cause she's going on Pregnancy break Or because she fought With Ben Shapiro Is that the whole thing too Yeah Yeah that shit was

Fucking wild dude Wasn't it I think Ben Shapiro Finally realized H hanging out with evangelical Christians is just obnoxious and terrible. He doesn't have a choice, bud. He doesn't, because he's a conservative.

And all the conservative media... They're putting the lights on over here. He's over here like the lonely Jew, just like, what's going on, guys? Come on. We love Israel. Disinformation. It's fun, though. It's not fun. This is terrible. It can be fun if it's, like, guys. Come on. We love Israel. Disinformation. It's fun, though. It's not fun. This is terrible.

It can be fun if it's, like, harmless. Yeah, like the bat child. Yeah, yeah. And UFOs and stuff. Yeah, yeah. If it's harmless, then yeah. But when that shit starts, like, actually influencing people, like, shaping the way people see the world, then it's, like, fucked up, you know? Especially people like fucking Hamas Piker. Like, then it's like fucked up, you know, especially people like, like fucking Hamas Piker.

Like the dude's like, I'm a propagandist. Bro, how the fuck are you the biggest political streamer on Twitch? You're like, I'm a propagandist. Like, yeah, you're not supposed to be, you're not supposed to be proud of that. No, exactly. Yeah. Well, he tries to cope. He says, well, we're all propagandists.

And what do you call it? Actually, a lot of us don't likeists. And what do you call it? Actually, a lot of us don't like it. What's the news guy, Clarkson or whatever? Piers Morgan? Piers Morgan. So he went on Piers Morgan, who he had called like a propagandist. And again, he was trying to downplay it.

He's like, well, we're all propagandists. And Piers Morgan's like, well, I'm not. And Hassan was like, no, you are. He's like, okay, who am I doing propaganda for? He's like, well I'm not saying you're doing it for someone He's like, then I'm not a propagandist, you fucking retard Why does he talk like this whenever he's on TV? Like, I don't know, man That's how he talks?

Yeah, he's like, he's really weird when he's on TV He's all like embarrassed Yeah, maybe, maybe because he knows he's a fucking fraud Yeah, probably He's like weird when he's on TV. He's all embarrassed. Yeah, maybe because he knows he's a fucking fraud. Yeah, probably. He's trying to hide. You know how people, when they try to hide, they try to make their body smaller? Yeah. Maybe that's what it is.

How did he become popular? Just by being on Twitch? No, he was like Schenck Unger's cousin. Right, he used to be on Young Turks, but that doesn't make you popular. He just says the most retarded shit possible. I think part of it came, I don't remember. I didn't follow the whole track, but he's friends with the right people on Twitch. And then he also, there was a moment too, he debated Destiny.

And then something happened after the debate, which now he won't even talk to Destiny, which to me is, like, the most cuck thing you can do. Like, why the fuck won't you, you know? But even when Destiny was still on Twitch, Hasan was bigger than Destiny at that point. I mean, like, not at first, but he's been the number one political streamer for a while, right? I think so. I don't know. I don't know. Well, I'm just, like, I'm, like, right? I think so. I don't know. I don't know. Well, I'm just like, I'm like, why?

I would think Destiny would be the top guy. Like, he's way more funny and not moronic than. He says N-word, though. Well, and he's like not afraid to take positions that go against the team, right? Yeah, yeah. So Destiny's more like about being logical and rational. Hassan's all about, oh, this is the team. He's a propagandist.

He's like, I'm with this team. I'm flying this flag. Maybe that is the problem is Destiny's more like, well, I'm going to think this through logically. And Hassan just goes, clearly the Jews are the problem here. People just like a simple answer. I guess that's it. It's fun that everybody's split, that both sides are split on this whole,

you know, Israel-Palestine thing. At least it keeps it a little exciting. I think the veto, why don't they just leave, line is the correct line. Did I bring this up on the show already where I had a friend, a longtime liberal friend, call me up and he was like, hey, when did our side decide it's okay to go to a music festival and kill a bunch of women? I'm like, oh, like a while ago. We've been okay with that for a long time.

We actually never decided that that was wrong. Yeah, exactly. No one checked. I don't know when you thought that liberals had standards about like, oh, we got to protect women's bodies. Oh, women's right to autonomy or whatever else. Well, can I strap a fan to my back and shoot them in the head with a machine gun? Well, it depends. Are you, you know,

are they Jewish? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just kill them all. I don't care. Like, I don't know what... Is that what your representation of what happened is? What's currently happening in the political landscape? Are you in Gaza? Then you can kill as many women and unborn children as you fucking want.

That's fine. The arguments are the best part of all this. Like, I'll see. I saw a guy yesterday say, oh, yeah? Did they have a fucking four-star restaurant in Auschwitz? And I was like, what a tremendous thing to have said. Who is that for? You got a good point, man. What is the point?

Gaza's got to be a pretty okay place to be. Comparing Gaza to Auschwitz is pretty. Okay, so you're the intended audience of that retarded statement. That's a good point. All right. Oh, I can't believe I have to live in Gaza where there's all this cool stuff. You can get a PlayStation, I'm sure. You can import it.

There's no Mountain Dew code red there. No, but you got a TV. You can watch all your favorite shows about. I don't know about having a TV. They don't have TVs in Gaza. They got TVs. I don't know if they all have TVs. They at least got a radio. They don't have TVs in Gaza. They got TVs. I don't know if they all have TVs. They at least got a radio. You didn't have a radio in Auschwitz, I'll tell you that. Okay.

Well, everybody loves the radio. When I start saying Auschwitz twice on a podcast, I'm out. I'm going to demonetize the comment. I'll be seeing you. I'll be seeing you. I'll be seeing my way out of this Auschwitz conversation.

I don't know if I want to participate in that. It is a complicated situation. And I guess that's why Hassan is popular is that he reduces it down to the Jews are the problem. And then people like to hear that. Whereas Destiny, I think, has a more... I forget. I was listening to some... Destiny is very nuanced and complicated He's saying Palestine's the problem

Yeah Two very different methods of thinking He's not saying Palestine He's so much more complicated than that It's a little more nuanced than that I don't know what's going on. What do you think about them taking... Okay, here's disinformation that we're not even allowed access to information.

They took down the Osama Bin Laden letter. What the fuck is that? What is that? Yeah, that is really weird, right? Do you guys actually want to read that shit? Yeah. I actually had to search for it. Did it change your mind about anything?

No, but I wanted to know if he said some cool stuff. It's the fucking Osama Bin Laden. He's just going to be, yeah, I want to kill Americans. Yeah, but why delete it? And in what order? That's what I want to know. Probably the Jewish ones first. No, none of the other ones. I knew that one. The Jewish

adjacents. He did not like Israel. That is true. Now you can say whatever you want is in it, though, if they took it down, though. Yeah. Yeah, he hated curves. He hated the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yeah, he hated Marvel. He said there needs to be less women in Marvel, and if they keep making these female movies,

he's going to blow up a building. He thought Thanos should have won. Yeah, he thought that was dumb that it wiped that it was about like resources that's stupid it should have just been like he thinks Kang should not be the ultimate villain of phase five and it should instead be dr. doom and can I really say Osama's wrong with logic like that I do love how kids are like yeah actually he's cool and then everyone loses their minds and they're like it's like well you see guys they're doing it so you flip out yeah exactly not

understand what the kids are doing here it's a little blown out cuz like you look at the actual videos there's only one that really went viral the rest of like a couple thousand views yeah but they get the aggregate of it these videos am I that how they talk? Am I allowed to make a video on YouTube reading the Osama letter? I guess they haven't banned it on YouTube. You? No. No, they'll take the video down. You can't even read the letter?

You can't even write his name and a title without it being demonetized. Yeah, they said it's supporting terrorism. Yeah. So if a terrorist says anything I like, I can't agree with it because that's supporting terrorism? Uh, yeah. Well, I'm in trouble. Terrorist is anything I like. I can't agree with it because that's supporting terrorism. Yeah. Well, I'm in trouble. All these school shooters should just go around, I love school. I love school.

I love school. If you agree with that, you're a terrorist. Yeah. You have to hate school. You remember Maddox? Yeah. Okay, this is a funny thing. So he was crying about Justin Wang.

He made this like- What's the deal? Justin Wang is like a chill thing. So he was crying about Justin Wang. He made this like... What's the deal? Justin Wang is like a chill dude. What's the deal with Justin? He tried to accuse him of plagiarism because he didn't understand what plagiarism is. Well, he worked backwards on that one. It turned out that Maddox was on a speaking panel. Uh-huh.

And Justin Wang made a post making fun of it. Uh-huh. Because he's like, who the fuck would want to go to a... How to make money here's how maddox is making money now doing these stupid panels on how to be a youtuber or whatever so the organizer of the panel so maddox says he was kicked off the panel because of justin wang making fun of it oh wow which is a lie which you know that's that's according to maddox right according to that okay so we found somebody my audience found the original panel that he spoke at.

Uh-huh. And it's like a, you know, four-person experts. They're all like social media people. They're all like professional business people speaking to professional business people. Were they wearing like suits or like nice dresses? They were wearing nice things, like speaking professionally. Business, business wear. And where was this panel?

I like the, it's someplace Elton, airport Elton Mary. Okay. It was a a little nicer than that i think it was like over at skirtball but whatever it's like a normal conference uh so they all do their things about social media and then it goes to him and the question was like something about something totally uh uh innocuous yeah and he kicks it off with well you know remember when there was that youtube YouTube shooting? What? And that was unfortunate, but I was covering that on my channel, and I got demonetized, and CNN is able to talk about it all day, and they're making money off that. It was like... And he brought that up to an unrelated question. That was the first thing he said.

He's like complaining about not making money off of a shooting. Off a shooting, yeah. Was he talking about the Christchurch shooting? I don't even think I can say that. No, he's talking about the YouTube one. Oh, the one where what's-her-name, my girlfriend, went down there and showed him what's what. So we think maybe that's why he got not invited back to the second one. I mean, that's a no-brainer.

That's Nassim Aghdam, I believe is her name. Yeah. God rest in peace. R.I.P. Nassim. Wasn't her issue, too, that she got demonetized? She got demonetized. She's like, I'm going to shoot him. And she took charge.

Sadly. You know what? I should just stop commenting on it entirely. Yeah. Maybe Maddox related to her a little bit. I don't know. I think so. Yeah.

Her gripes were... Just say you agree with her. You don't need to dance around. I'm going to get banned. This is what TikTok bans you for. You can't support terrorism. All right. You want to do your...

Well, Devon, what do we call it? So the problem is... Misinformation? An era of misinformation. Misinformation. All right. Social media disinformation. Disinformation.

Okay. I'm writing that down. Here's my problem. I'll just tell a story It's about a man who didn't go to a party Not getting invited to a party He sat on Instagram all night He sat on his Twitter DMs all night Refreshing

He hasn't responded Why don't you just FaceTime him Yeah that'll do it Mike S. Miller wants me to mention He hasn't responded. Why don't you just FaceTime him? Yeah, that'll do it. You should do that. Mike S. Miller wants me to mention that he's working on a top grift, a parody comic. Am I in a fight with him? I don't know.

You blocked him at one point. Did you unblock him? Maybe. That's the artist of the one where they fight. You know what? No more comic shit. It's just too much comic shit Alright We're like the comic ambassadors now

I don't want to be a comic ambassador We have to though We've like become The self-appointed Saviors of comics It's very Not even self-appointed Community appointed

I mean according to Parts of the internet Comic books do need A lot of saving so I keep seeing videos From people going I'm so grateful That Dick and Vito

Exposed the rot At the heart of the indie comic industry And I'm like You know what? Okay I guess I did Top grift now available on Indiegogo There you go Mike Oh Andrew Tate He's doing a fake Andrew Tate comic

To make fun of the Andrew Tate comic That's funny Does anyone get raped in his? Well, that's going to be the thing. You better have him trafficking women and shit. You're going to pull punches. I know you guys are pussies. If you guys puss out, that will be

unforgivable. You've got to have him under the desk as the girls are undressing, typing the messages out. You have to have him wearing women's clothes as he's typing back to men. Yeah, I am going to suck your penis. Send me that 30 grand. Yeah, send it. Drain your bank account.

Send it in to me. So I'm at the GameStop, of course. Ordered more games on GameStop. Norm! It is a norm situation. Actually, the girl who works there, I think we got like a little, I got very close. On the way out, I went, I should have asked for a fucking number.

Shit. I had a little rapport I got very close. On the way out, I went, should have asked for a fucking number. Shit. And a little rapport going. Oh, you pussy. Next time I go in there, I might try something. What are you going to say to her? I don't know. I don't think you're allowed to do that anymore. Isn't it against the, like it's against the social rules if you go into a woman's like

place of business and pressure her into going on a date? Is that what you're going to do? You're going to pressure her? I'm going to go, listen, I want to put my God baby inside you and you're not going on a date. Is that what you're going to do? You're going to pressure her? I'm going to go, listen, I want to put my god baby inside you, and you're not allowed to say no. Don't let her see that. I'm going to say, hey, check out my Twitter. Feel it out.

See how you feel. Here's a post. Here's one post. I'm pretty well known on Twitter. I'm pretty well known. A lot of people know who I am. I'm not lying. That's true.

You got 3.3 million views on this. Honestly, okay, I'll tell you what my actual plan was. I'm like, I need business cards again so I can go, hey, by the way, I'm like a YouTube guy. Check it out. Girls. And then they'll go like, oh, man, he's like an influencer. I got to get in on that. You need to get one of those cards with a QR code where they can scan it and it goes straight to your, like...

Women love QR codes. Women love scanning QR codes. Understand them immediately. Dennis, people have been attracted to you for your social media clout, no? I don't know. I try to not respond or engage with those folks usually. Fair enough. So, sorry, you want to get business cards and then you're going to give her a business card?

I was going to go, hey, you know, if you're into games, you know, I stream games. Why don't you come by one of my streams or something? Say hi. So she can see people call you a pedophile. Yeah, I guess that wouldn't work out very well. Oh, well. Anyway. Why don't you just ask for her number or her Instagram or whatever.

I don't know. It just feels like today's modern woman would be like, really? You think like, who cares? I think it depends on the woman, maybe, depending on your approach. Yeah, let's see your approach. Pretend to ask for Def Noodles' number. Well, when Fire Emblem comes in... You gotta look at me.

Look at me. When that Fire Emblem pre-order comes in, maybe you could text me directly so I can pick it up at midnight. Maybe I'll pick it up in your house or you could bring it to my house. I'll pay you a delivery fee, of course. You gotta do it real. Do it for real.

Do it real. I don't know what I would do. I honestly don't know. Have you ever asked a girl for her number before? Yeah. What the hell was that? But it was like, it was never like in a, somebody like working. The idea of approaching someone who's working is weird. It's inappropriate.

Right. Do it anyway. Maybe I will. Just slip in your number. But that's why I think you have to just forge a pseudo-friendship first Did you go Hey, this is what women hate Guys trying to butter them up for friendships Raven's literally grimacing over there

You're just going to friendzone yourself really It's not going to work regardless Nothing I do is going to work, okay I'm going to that game stop I'm going to friend zone yourself, really. It's not going to work regardless. Nothing I do is going to work, okay? So negative. I'm going to that GameStop. I'm going to go, you, me. Just follow her home.

Just follow her home. Do you know where she lives? Hey, I thought I saw you entering the house on 103 Elm Street. Was that you last night? Yeah. Were you up until 1 a.m.? What do you think of that whole sniper wolf thing where she was in front of someone's house? Wouldn't that be cool if I did that? I don't have a plan

to ask the GameStop girl out. Just say the words. Like, try it, you know. Can I get your number? Can I get your number? Yeah. Ask her if she likes something. What do you like to do?

Yeah. Hey, if I want recommendations on a game, hey, can I get your advice? Even now you're being sneaky again, which was what I said I wanted to do. A little bit of sneaky is fine. You're talking about, like, friending her.

You got to start a conversation. I got to go like, hey, do you play Diablo? Because I got a bunch of guys. We're starting up a guild. Yeah. We've been looking for a fourth. What you got to do is you got to start a conversation and find things in common. And that way you develop a bond.

You got to present a scenario where it's like, hey, listen, I'm running a D&D campaign. If you know anybody, here's my contact. Find me on Facebook. That's too much. That's too much commitment. You know what? We'll gamify the locking down

the GameStop lady later. How's that? No, no. We've got to figure it out right now. This is what people really want to know about. This is what people want to know about. This is what the people want. I feel like we're off track here. You got to ask. You got to get her number.

I don't have a plan. Say you found like a game. What does she look like she likes to do? Well, that was what sucks is I should have used that opportunity because it was like a customer service thing. I should have been like, well, can you call me directly if it comes in or whatever, you know? That would have been smart. But I didn't think of that until after I left the GameStop.

Yeah. Alright. So I'll tell, but here's the problem is I'm also about to criticize her, so Okay, go for it. Let's hope she never hears this. Okay. I'm in GameStop because I bought a bunch of games online. The problem when you buy games from GameStop online, as I already mentioned, they send you like, half of them are like fine and whatever, I can put them on the shelf.

They're half are in like broken cases or they sent the wrong game or whatever else. So I went in there to return stuff. The guy returning it has to like process each game as an individual reaction with its own receipt. So it's taking fucking forever. I feel really bad because there's like people clearly behind me in the line waiting to check

out. And they have more than one register and she this assumedly nice lady is just going and like grab you know like unpacking boxes and stocking shelves as this line is just growing and growing and in my head i'm going why not just open another checkout line oh i see my problem is lazy employees who don't open a second line yeah has this has this happened to you yeah i think it's happened to everybody yeah but like how is it so obvious yeah i was it happened again the exact same week i went to target and there's like a giant line of people for the checkout and they only have even with the self-checkout, it's a problem.

They have like a hundred of those registers, and they only open like two of them. Yeah. And it's like, well, why don't you just open a third one? You could try to steal stuff again and see how that goes. I could have tried to steal stuff for you. Somebody caught him. A guy who works at security at Target caught him on video, who listens to the show. Yeah.

No, I got caught by a different security guard and then I talked about it on the show and somebody at... Wait, what did he try to steal at Target, though? Magic cards. Magic cards. They're very expensive. I did go to Target and they had the new Doctor Who magic cards and I was very tempted to try and grab them, but

I was like, you know what? It's just not worth the risk. Not worth the humiliation. Why? What's the penalty? Nothing. Burn the freeway down. Nobody cares. It's the personal shame of on the way out the way. The guy goes, hey, what are you doing here? You just run.

Although we are getting into the holiday shopping season, which I think is like the peak time to shoplift because there's so many people in the store that they can't watch all those cameras. I mean, have you seen the videos on Twitter? Right now is the peak. You can do whatever. It's been peak time. I know it has been like peak times. They're making them unlock the thing and it's going

like, wow, I never thought they would do that. I did see that video. That was pretty great. And the guy's just like, alright. Can you unlock that so I can get and then they go. The only video I've ever seen where the store turns against the person. You see the guy trying to rob a diamond store.

And it's like three guys. A bunch of people actually get together. They're like whipping him with a fucking ruler. Because it would be fun to stop a shoplifter, I would imagine. Yeah? Yeah. Because you could do whatever you wanted. Yeah, basically.

Let all the social niceties have gone out the window. Yeah. As I always say, I'm watching these guys, and they got, like, two carts full of, like, Christmas hams, and they're throwing them in the back, and the employee's, like, trying to grab the cart away. I'm like, just take your key and stab their tire, and they're fucked. Stab the tire? Yeah, just pop the tires.

I would love to see you pop a tire. I mean, I know it would take some effort, and it would probably be a bit spooky when it goes pop, you know, but other than that. Then what? What if they just kick your ass? I think they're so busy with the ham. Why would they not kick my ass to begin with? I don't know. What do you think about the guys who stop shoplifting?

I don't think it would take time to kick your ass. They know the cops are on the way at that point. They want to get out of there. The guys who stop shoplifters? Yeah, they're like diving at them in Walmart and stuff. Honestly, sometimes it looks kind of cool. Like, you look like you're like a vigilante.

As long as you don't get fucking sued, you do get like a free pass to beat the shit out of someone, and nobody's going to say, hey, don't beat that guy! That's true. Dude, if all these liberal protesters can get away with like smashing people's windows and shit on the highway, surely I'm allowed to do that to a... If somebody's shoplifting, you have social contract to do whatever you want to their property.

Oh, man. Take advantage of that. Grab a shopping cart and throw it through their window and go, Oh, jeez, oops, my bad. What are they going to do, yell at you? They're shoplifting. I just got so overwhelmed by the shoplifting that I felt compelled to throw the shopping cart at your car. You've got to shoplift that girl's number.

I should. I've got to come up with a reason. Tell her a fake story. Tell her your shoplifting story. So she can hear me talk about how she was lazy and wouldn't open a second checkout and caused a large line to form at the GameStop. It's funny, though. In retail, when you're working retail, when a big line forms. Yeah, because you feel like you have power.

You can just go, hey, what are you going to do? Yeah. I remember the worst time. For some reason, I was at Kmart. Remember those? Mm-hmm. And I was just, there was one line. And for some reason, it was like, I don't know, Super Shopper Weekend Supreme or whatever.

Yeah. And there's this little asian lady with literally 10 carts of clothes that were all like clearance or discount and a million coupons so they were all buy four bras get one free with sure okay gotta have a lot of prawns i don't know man asian lady regardless there was like 20 people just watching an asian lady with 10 carts full of clothes be like no you have to scan that and then then this gets scanned, and then cha-cha-cha. I'm like, looking at all these employees just hanging out.

Just like... And eventually I caused a little customer revolt when I went like, can you guys just open another line? And they're like, well, you know, we're not really clocked in, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, but you see like this, right? And all the other customers are like, yeah, this sucks! Do're not really clocked in, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, but you see like this, right?

And all the other customers are like, yeah, this sucks. Do something. Fuck you, bitch. I think we did strong arm them into opening a second line. You should have bossed that girl into opening a register. She would have loved that. She probably would have enjoyed it. Then you could have got her number after that.

I would have said, if you want that kind of commanding presence in the bedroom, check me out on YouTube at youtube.com slash veto where I talk about how women are ruining Star Wars. I think you want to work in your social media too much. All of your examples of talking to her, it's all about go check out my... I would want to be with a girl more if I knew she had a social media presence.

It's monetizable. Oh, God. All right. Never mind. Don't get it. That's my version of making the God baby. It's finding a girl who makes a lot of money on YouTube and locking that shit down. Like Riley. Yeah. Or OnlyFans. Okay.

I would manage an OnlyFans wife. I think I'd be good at it. I'd go, your followers are lacking for deep throat content. Come on. Chop, chop. Yeah. Who's going to make that with her? I don't know. I don't know. Whatever black guy's going to make that with her? I don't know.

Whatever black guy I hire to... I'm going to be, you know. See, why isn't Adam 22 inviting you to the party? Because the cuckold porn is where the money is. He lets his wife have... I should be at the party. Adam 22 loves that stuff. You guys are the same guy.

Me and Adam 22 are the same guy. The only difference is that he can actually pull it off. You can turn that girl out, that GameStop girl out. You can film porn at GameStop with her. Put it on OnlyFans and you get fired for filming porn there. This love connection is never going to happen. The worst scenario will be that I do get her number and we end up dating and someone at some point goes, hey, go listen to episode 115

where he talks about pimping you out to a bunch of black men. I go, baby, baby, that to a bunch of black men. Baby, baby, that was a different time of change. What does she look like? She's like me, except a lady. What color? Oh. Okay. Dick called you Vito. I aim across the aisle, okay?

Maybe a little below the aisle. I'm not aiming above my pay grade. I know what I'm worth, alright? Jesus Christ. Why do you think I'm going aiming above my pay grade. I know what I'm worth. Jesus Christ. Why do you think I'm going to the Adam 22 party? Write your number on a candy bar and give it to her then. Here you go. You want one of the more of these?

That would work on me. All right. What are our problems? The retail employees thing? Employees who do not open a second checkout line. Lazy. Okay. Social media.

Disinformation. Disinfo. Yeah. All right. Mine is blowing your wad. Really? Lazy. Okay. Social media. Disinformation. Disinfo. Yeah. Alright. Mine is blowing your wad. Really. Alright. Okay. Go to biggestproblem.show and vote on those. Vote on all the problems. Our current bonus episode is still biggest problem in Halloween, but we're going to record a new bonus episode. Sorry. Very soon.

I got a carbonation in me. Shut up How's your weight loss going? Not good I don't know why I thought I wasn't eating that much I think I need a new scale

I've had the same scale for 10 years They wear out Do they wear out? They do Shut up I think after 10 years it might I'm not getting a consistent reading Because gravity's changing? Well, also, my floor is uneven, so I don't know what's going on.

How uneven is your floor? Like the whole thing? Well, because I can't do it on the carpet. Most of my house is carpeted. So the only places that don't have carpet are... Go outside. The kitchen. Outside's like...

Yeah, I'll weigh myself outside. Okay. Here's a weight loss. Great, of course. Hey, Dick and Vito. Vito, I know you're weighing in for the last time soon. I know you're lazy. Okay.

I know you're probably not going to diet, but if you want to lose like a pound and a half, two pounds before the final weigh-in. Okay. Just to cheat. Just take a really hot bath for like 40 minutes before you start the show. You'll like lose at least a pound of sweat. I weigh like 150 pounds. And whenever I do that, because, you know, she likes to make sure I stay underweight. What the fuck?

I can cheat and lose like a pound and a half by sweating. And you're a bigger guy than me, so you might be able to squeeze out a little more. Love the show, guys. Your wife is weighing you? Is your wife weighing you before sex? What is happening? Wow. So you take a big, long shower to make sure you make weight?

Your wife? Like weight classes? I feel like I'm missing a lot of information, you know, because she likes me to stay skinny. Yeah. Okay, but is she like checking the scale? He's checking apparently and he's got to sweat himself down to an acceptable weight

on the scale for his wife. I was told I should get a colonic to flush my system of any... Yeah, you should do a YouTube video of that. Put it on your channel. Let's do it. That's not a let's. That's a you.

Come on. You got to come along. You're part of this weight loss adventure. You're the catalyst. I need someone to hold my hand as they shove a tube up my butt. Oh, my God. Well, that's what it is. That's what that is?

Yeah, they put a tube up your butt. It's basically like a giant enema machine And they just like They cycle fluid through your colon, right? Jesus Christ Yeah, please don't Didn't the jackass guys do it? Yeah

They're kind of used to doing that stuff though Well, yeah, but like Supposedly it has health benefits According to hippies and weirdos Really refreshing Thank you, says Raven Is that from personal? You know it's really refreshing?

I used to be addicted to enemas. Used to be addicted to enemas. Yeah, I had to retrain myself how to shit on my own. That's awesome. Can people hear that? She says that she was addicted to enemas and had to retrain herself

to shit normally. Is that correct? Yeah. Okay. What is the colonic? The colonic, you go into the... I'm going to ask her questions about it. Yeah, so I don't know.

I had a wicked bad eating disorder and just wanted to lose some weight, so I was doing a lot of laxatives and enemas. Shit, I can't do this. I was doing a lot of laxatives and enemas. Shit, I can't do this. And I was doing them so frequently that my sphincter muscle became so weak. That you couldn't shit normally? I couldn't shit at all on my own. You had to use enemas to shit.

Yeah, and it was so hard. I had to retrain myself to shit. How long did it take to retrain your sphincter? Oh my god, fucking months. Wow. Wow. Yeah. But she lost a lot of weight. She looks good.

I gotta do it. Do you have to work up with weights when you're retraining your sphincter? I can chop a hot dog in half with my sphincter now. I mean, what are gay guys doing? They just live with it. They just go with the loose butthole, huh? It's a part of the process.

I don't know what gay guys are doing. Well, I'm saying if anyone's going to train their butthole, I would imagine. To chop it in half? Yeah, to chop a hot dog in half. I think they're more worried about it being loose. Right, I'm saying. Well, maybe a gay guy, after he decides he wants to live a life of Christ. What do those guys do?

Oh, he's got to tighten it up. He's got to tighten it up. Just stop doing poppers. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, maybe I can just take enemas and colonics until... You're going to get addicted. I'm going to get addicted to having tubes put up my butt.

That's fun. Okay. Here's something about your writing partner. Oh, good. Hi. This is Zito's writing partner. Hi. And this is how I talk.

For all those who are complaining that Super Killer is taking too long, I want you to take it easy on Vito. Vito's very busy with other things like playing video games and streaming while he plays video games. That's correct. And not exercising while he plays video games. I am exercising. I guess people didn't donate enough.

That's true. I tried to push him to do more, but he told me that this podcast is like doing a feature-length movie every week. Basically. Well, it's just your life's work. Go fuck yourself. There you go. The comic is written, man. Yeah.

And, uh... Have you ever had a writing partner, Deaf Noodles? Yeah, I mean, at one point I had sketch groups, and we had a writer's room. If someone was looking for a writing partner, wouldn't you assume they just wanted to have sex with them? Like that was the point? I mean, if you're not doing it professionally,

then yeah, probably. That's what I should do with the GameStop girl. Go to your rights. I've been looking to write a comedy about a girl who works in a game store. Maybe you would have some insight. We could have a meeting.

You don't want her to be a consultant. That's a good in. Do you write? Do you write? If you ask a girl, do you write? Odds are like 90%, right? You look like a writer. I used to write this.

I wrote Buffy the Vampire fan fiction. You know me, myself. I'm a comic writer. I have a big comic right now. It's called AlphaCore. It's a big hit. I'm working on AlphaCore. Everything's going swimmingly.

Hey, biggest problem. It's a beach hook. Big, biggest problem? It's Beach Hook. Biggest problem in the universe is, oh, you can't make fun of fat people in the gym. Like, that works in real life, but when some fat retard like Babyface is posting workout updates and he hasn't lost two goddamn pounds after a couple months, yeah, I'm going gonna make fun of him

he's too busy uh ordering new ice on merch to wear yeah you know that guy that guy that did the pronouns that he ranted about oh yeah baby heel face or something like that yeah he teamed up with eric july and now he has a fight with us word yeah yeah no that that dude is unhinged, man. It's kind of funny to watch him, though, just lose it over the most stupidest thing. Dude, all these guys are nuts. That's what people don't... I don't get. Did I talk about this? Somebody was leaving comments and was like, well, I feel like you guys make similar

content. You could be friends. I'm like, I don't want to be friends with guys who go, I can't believe there's pronouns in my video game! It's insanity. It's like, come on. Jesus Christ. Fucking pronouns. Pronouns.

Pronouns. This is Disney's feminist agenda to try and woke-ify your kids into sucking each other's dicks. Okay, look, I didn't like the Buzz Lightyear movie either, but Jesus Christ. It wasn't because of the kiss, though. It wasn't because of the gay kiss. That guy, that pronouns guy, takes a picture of himself in ISOM gear at the gym every day. He's been doing that for like months, right? But he never loses any weight or gets any more muscles.

So what, is he going to Planet Fitness? He just got a membership to just take pictures? I think so. Cheap membership. That's a good sketch. The gym that lets you come in, spray yourself with fake sweat and just take gym selfies every week uh okay last last one i'm really disappointed that all that isom crap is that people think that his animations that he's buying for some reason are good they think that the artwork's good they think the story's good all that everything you say all these people are like

actually supporting that shit hand over fist like this is what we want you know I think the reason why they're having such a hard problem saying what's your favorite part of ISOM and they don't have an answer it's because they love every single part of it dude wholeheartedly they are looking

for a new dad and it's like their dad made a comic book where he gets to go beat up hell monkeys and they're all trying to suck their dads dick that's all it is oh those animations look worse than like flash animations on early youtube it's really weird but you know it made 12 million dollars again somehow if my dad made a comic book, I'd make fun of it. I got a clip. I went on that Shag.

Some guy named Shagsworth. He's like a little channel or whatever. Yeah. And I was trying to nail it down. I'm like, well, what do you like about Isam? And he's like, well, you know, there's all these characters and they could go anywhere. Like, there's so much mystery. Anything could happen.

Anything could happen. And I'm like, well, that's kind of true of any story, but sure. Anything could happen now. You go and you sit down in a movie. Anything could happen. Like, yeah. What do you like about a new movie? Could be anything.

Could be anything. I don't know what's going to come out of it. Can you believe it? Well, then I tried to drill down into it, and I was like, okay, well, which character are you excited for? And he brought up Alphacore. I'm like, okay, which character of Alphacore are you most excited about and he's like the black guy with the helmet

and I go I mean he didn't say that but whatever that guy's name is right and I went why and he goes well because he hasn't said anything yet so he could say anything so yeah literally I'm like wait wait wait the character you're most excited about is the character who has not had a single line of dialogue.

He's like, yeah, well, that seems like a deliberate creative choice from Eric. Like, why would that guy not say anything? I'm like, maybe because Eric's just a bad writer. He doesn't have anything for him to say yet, man. Yeah, I'm sure that character could be anything. And then I said, okay, so your favorite part is the mysteries, or you really like those. So which mystery resolution has been the most exciting for you? Which piece of information, instead of something that was set up as a hook, what

delivery on a hook have you been most excited about? You went, that's a good question. I'd have to think about that. Has there been any? Because we found out why I saw him quit being a superhero. It's because one lady died one time to a rock monster. It's not good. Koof for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you

Koof. Jay Thompson for two. You see Hassan versus Willie Mack. It was embarrassing good. Koof for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Jay Thompson for two. You see, Hassan versus Willie Mack. It was embarrassing. I watched part of it. Yeah. Maybe I'll watch. I find Willie Mack hard to listen to, too, though. Oh, yeah?

Because he's like, he knows he's right, but he's like way too smug about it. Oh. He's like, oh, Hassan, you didn't watch my video, Hassan. And I'm like, yeah, I know, but this is whatever. I will watch it. Happy Clams for two. I don't wipe. Coup for another two. For the Conversion Therapy Fund, thank you

for not killing yourself. Thanks. Black Angus reviews for two. Vito wants to be bred. Vito's Twitter. Yeah, they keep trying to get me. Did I mention that? What? So you want to... If you could get pregnant, you would or whatever? I'm like, I would absolutely let Invincible impregnate me. If I had a womb and the ability to bear a godchild, I would do it instantly.

And you know what they keep saying? They go, well, I appreciate the honesty. There you go. Preston S. says, Vito is a slut for super chats. That's correct. Jav CT says, I thought the guest would be black this episode. No, that's another episode. Next month.

We have a black guy coming in. I'm technically 25% black. Are you really? It goes up every time. It goes up every time, says Raven. What percentage did you start out as black? I don't know. Did you get a 23 in me?

I do, yeah. You want to see it? I do. Bring her out. 25% in me. 25%. Wow. If you were African American, you would know.

Or black or African or what Yeah like Is it like recessive so every one of your Is it like every one of your grandparents Have like an 8th black So I'm 10% sub-Saharan African 10% sub-Saharan African 5.2% indigenous

American Native American Yeah and then where the fuck's the other one? The tattoos. The guys are fucking... And then 4.3% Western Asian North African. Wow. Wow.

You really are. You're going to get that reparations money. Yeah. That's coming in. I want that money. Pay me. My sister got a 23 in me. I got to get the file from her.

What was she? Did she get any good ones? No. Fucking jackpot over here. I think we had some confusing ones where we're like, wait, I thought grandma's name was Marie. We're clearly German. She was going to come back 110% DNA. She was a fake German, which might be good.

We do have a black guest potentially lined up. Can everyone stop? The show will be even later than with Death Noodles. I probably should not have hyped it up as our first black guest, but he's a cool guy. I think I did that. Yeah, you did that. Nah, ma-nah, nah, ma-nah, whatever. For two, Gane Igers from Outer...

Okay, you got me. Beautiful Becca for two. Yeah, you got there too, didn't you? Beautiful Becca says, the middle guy is hot. Yeah. Wow, that's you? Beautiful Becca says, the middle guy is hot. Wow. That's you, buddy. Riley is here for five. Says, John McAfee was my internet dad. That's the

young Clipper right there. Pop quiz for two. Pull a Maddox and just crash the party. Was Maddox a party crasher? Oh yeah, he would talk about it all the time. All these weird systems he had for crashing parties. You think he's going to crash Adam 22's party? No, I don't think he I think his party crashing days are over. I parties. You think he's going to crash Adam 22's party? No, I don't think he... I think his party crashing days are over.

Oh, yeah. I don't know what he's doing. Yeah, that was in his 30s when he was a young buck. The only thing he's doing... He had his pleather American flag jacket. He's making stupid expose videos about the Stereos, a guy who no one knows anything about. Yeah.

And appearing in weird TikToks. Yeah. Do you know the person who's making the TikToks? This is like some... No, like... He's clearly hooked up with some TikTok creator and appearing in weird TikToks. Do you know the person who's making the TikToks? He's clearly hooked up with some TikTok creator to make these stupid viral whatever the hell things. I don't know anything about it. I don't even know if they go viral. Koofer2, congratulations on the invite.

Happy birthday, Adam. Happy birthday, Adam. Thank you, Koof. I just got a text giving me the address of the place. Check your text, Vito, to see if you got any such text. Because I'm guessing no. The host of Adam22's

birthday blast sent a text blast. Guest list is closed. If you did not get approved, we are sorry. You will not be let in. Please do not keep resending your RSVP. That was for you! That was for you That was for you Please don't DM Adam You're not friends I'm DMing Adam right now

You just get him on a FaceTime Take a screenshot and go Adam what's the meaning of this Send it to him I'm just going to let him know Because he did ask for Just in case Adam, what's the meaning of this? Send it to him. I'm just going to let him know. Because he did ask for, you know, just in case. Shut up.

It's so late, you know. Yeah. You'd have to stay up to 10, 11. What does yours say? Like where it is and shit? It says all kinds of cool stuff. The worst part is he could have just put me as his plus one, but he didn't because obviously I was just going to get my own.

Alright, well. Address for tonight, mine says. Ooh, I know this place. That's going to be awesome. It's a cool spot. Well. What are you going to do? M for two. You should not invite him to your birthday party.

Yeah, I'm sure Adam 22 is going to come to my birthday. M for two. Great show, lads. Free Palestine. Forrest Publishing for 20 says, Vito, thank you for supporting Blood and the Sword. Best value in any comics at only $5 plus shipping. Guys, I've read Blood and the Sword. It's pretty good.

I like it. Cool little swords and sorcery book. If you're into D&D type classic medieval fantasy. I believe available on Fund My Comic. It might be available somewhere else. But check out Blood in the Sword from Forrest Publishing. That's Forrest with two R's. Former artist for two, Mr. Noodles, does Mike Redbar haunt your dreams?

Are you feuding with Redbar? Everybody's feuding with Redbar for some reason. Nah, when I first started the club, he had Salvo go over. Oh, he's a Salvo guy. That happened? Yeah, but I have no bad blood. I don't really care. Salvo's kind of fallen to the wayside anyway, so I don't think you have anything to worry about there.

Well, because fucking Keemstar spent a year reporting all of his fucking accounts. Did you see that? Oh my god. Yeah, that shit was pretty wild. It's very bizarre. Dude, you really want that guy kicked off the internet. I don't even remember exactly what he did. But Bob Genus for two says, Who shid my pants?

Red for two says, Def Noodles, what is your favorite part of ISOM? I don't think you've read it. At least you admit to it. You should give it a glance. It's pretty funny. It is? Yeah, it's pretty bad. Somebody will send you a link.

Because all the characters speak exactly the same type of Vbonics that Eric July speaks. It's just like reading one guy's weird fanfic. It's very bizarre. Benjamin410, hey guys, love the show. Since there's three of you, can you have an Israeli-Palestine vote right now? Who do you think wins? I think Israel's going to win that one pretty easily, guys. Man, I've been shocked at how much Israel has lost in this just by over-

By pandering to the wrong people. Like way? They're losing the information war. Yeah, they're losing the- 100%. Terrorism is all about perception you know i guess whoever's perceived they have to be perceived as a terrorist you got you got a lot of people back in palestine and then you have people like making

these statements like oh if you uh you're supporting hamas it's like no one's buying that those people are supporting hamas like they are terrorists there's like What are you going to tell a terrorist? No, I don't support what you're doing. That's a good way to end up dead, bro. Should I tell Adam, you know, Dick says that if I can't get in, he's probably not going to come? Anyway. Alright, well, I don't know what's going on, but

I just love those Jews. Panic, pun for 10. Definitely been awesome seeing you go on podcasts. Oh, death!. Definitely been awesome seeing you go on podcasts. Oh, deaf. It's been awesome seeing you on podcasts. Show lately. Going from Cat Minecraft to YouTube or buddying up with Augie on your pod. It's been an interesting arc you have had.

Thanks. Yeah, man. K-Gon Postal for five. You're not worth more than this, Vito. That's true. I come buckets for two. If Vito goes to Adam 22s's he'll get head from a dude. MSG Enthusiast for 7 Canadian. I fell into a porn star party and got my dick

sucked by a guy. God damn it. He was just there. Joe Cool for 10. Leave it to Vito to go viral over something weird like vaping bath water and being pro teenage pregnancy. The connection between Adam to Vito to go viral over something weird like vaping bathwater and being pro-teenage pregnancy. The connection between Adam and Vito is they're both from puritanical New England.

Oh, yeah, he's a New England guy, huh? MSG enthusiast for three Canadian. Adam, 22, is hepatitis incarnate. Well, now I'm definitely not getting in. Joe, cool for 10. Richard, why don't you get Vito in using a long trench coat while you stand on his shoulders? Vito needs TBF and go to the party to hook up with the hot trans women while he has sauce stains. Conway Gritty with a five bucks SB for five.

Vito, how much money will it take for you to have a Maddox arc for like two months? You can just pretend it didn't happen after. It's funnier that way. Man, I've considered having my Maddox arc. Maddox arc? But I don't want to betray the show yet. Yeah, you got to wait a little bit more. I got to wait.

At least until your comic comes out. Yeah, and then I can... And that could breed some nice resentment. Then I can throw... Yeah, once you review it and say it's shit and destroy all my sales. Wait, but for the Maddox arc to happen, you'd have to hook up with the GameStop girl. Yeah, you better date her. All right, I'll date the GameStop girl and then you can slide in.

And blow it. And then write her a letter to get back with you that I can find. I write great letters, so it would probably work in my case. That's a letter that Maddox wrote to the ex that caused all of this. I love it that you framed it. I found it in her stuff. She never saw it. He snuck it in her stuff when she moved out of his place.

Which is insane. Why did he do that? And then found it years later when we were living together. He's like, what the fuck is this? Do you know what a bad move that is too? Because you never know if she actually read it or not. So you're just like always obsessed. Yeah, but he's probably going, she

read it and then like he obsessed over it. She never even saw the legal paper if you notice. I love it that you framed it. Yeah. Well, Riley for five says, I really hope Vito doesn't get into Adam's party. I already started putting together a parody song about it already. Ooh.

I hope I don't get owned by a parody song about not getting to Adam 22's birthday. Gentleman Sausage for 20 bucks says, PLTR is back to $20. Let's fucking go, Vito Files. Oh, yeah. Big money. Big money. I bought in at, well, my current price average is $10.90.

That's up to $20. Stray beans for three. That fucks my stinger. Is it not working? I don't know where it is. The stocks one is the best fucking one. It is the best one. Guys, Unity, still on sale.

There it is. Stock tip veto. Day trader veto. There you go. The hot stock tip. I got the hot stock tips. Get that Unity stack. It's coming back.

We'll figure out how to be profitable eventually. Stray beans for three with the weight loss. Can Ralph win a fight now? Have you seen how skinny Ralph is now? Ethan Ralph? Yeah. Yeah, he lost 90 pounds. Yeah.

He's looking better. He's doing something. Well, you don't just lose 90 pounds. He's got to be doing something. Stop drinking. That's enough to lose 90 pounds? It is when you drink like us, yeah. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah. He doesn't eat? He must eat. He eats one torta every day. One torta. Is that all he eats, really? That's what he says. Oh, shit.

He looks like it. Yeah. Utah-based Armenian for two. From the river to the sea, Adam's party vetoes free. Well, not free to go to the party. Crimsel for five. Thank you so much for your kind works of inspiration. I landed a job sucking toes at the old folks' home.

Keep your heads up. Love you all. Great. Good work, Crimsel. Red for five. Tractors in the chat if you're a proud Eric July detractor. Tractors. I love it.

James Gartner for 20. Lose a few pounds. Get the girl's number. Just say hi and delete this episode. Maybe it's a different GameStop girl I was talking about. She doesn't know. JJ for 5. Def Noodles, your problems sucked. Put Vito has no game on the board

and you'll win. I have plenty of game. Darius Reineko My game is differently played than your game. All right. Oh, yeah. How's your game played? I talk about net girls through my podcast.

You give them your business card? Yeah, I give them my business card. With a QR code. With a QR code attached. Darius Ryder Kovacos for 10. You write a riddle on it that they have to figure out. Yeah, they got to solve my riddle. To find your way into my lair, a game is what we must hear, player.

I'm assuming she'll love that, though. You must be the ultra GameStop player. Darius Radakovic is for 10. Is it worse that Vito referred to his GameStop girlfriend as his future only fan's girl or as himself but a girl? They're both bad. James Gardner for two.

Vito Enema Machine. Video donation. No, that's never happening. Out James Gardner for two. Vito Enema Machine. Oh, Vito Enema Machine. Video donation. No, that's never happening. Outlawed thoughts for five. Just wanted to show some love since you always share my stuff. Bunnies. Hello from Alaska. Def's shirt is fire.

Thanks, yeah. Thank you. Outlawed thoughts. Outlawed. You've been doing, like, the reviews, right? The City Boy for 10. Where is my copy of Super Killer with the 1950s Reed Richard cover Vito Great episode boys

Go watch my new video on youtube.com About my version of the Fantastic Four What is it? He's like a He's like a guy My madman Yeah but I want like literally in the 1950s The Fantastic Four like went through a portal

And they come back just now Yeah that's funny. Yeah, that would be like kind of interesting. You should write that. And he's like, wait, why are all these men women now?

What's going on? He just wants to smoke a pipe. Yeah, I mean, I got it. You don't need to. We all got it. 50s people. Wow. Pitching an idea in Hollywood.

So here's my idea. Here's my idea. It's called selling past the sale. Like, I got it. All right. Selling past in Hollywood. So here's my idea. It's called selling past the sale. I got it. Selling past the sale. So funny. It's like a carrot top bit.

1950s, but they're now. Okay. And he's like, here's a pipe. It's not going to get made, so the only thing I can milk it for is to talk about it. It's not going to be an actual project. So literally the only entertainment I can get out of it is she's like, I might be pregnant. Let's do a rat's test. Fuck all this nonsense.

Pigeon for 20. Great show, fellas. Thank you, Pigeon. What's the computer? What is this thing? He'd go, where did the punch cards go? That would be the joke. Fucking writes itself.

You unsold me on this. Dean Shock for two. It says, at a shitty holiday party, well, at least you have the biggest problem in the universe to keep you company. Darius Ranikovic Shock for two. At a shitty holiday party. Well, at least you have the biggest problem in the universe to keep you company. Darius Ranacogas for five. Vito seems more upset about the Adam 22 party than when he missed weight by 20 pounds. LP Dirty T for two. Womp womp.

Happy birthday, Adam 22. Koo for two. F for the no invite. Thank you for not killing yourself, Vito. Have fun, dick. Spotted Eternal for two. This is stream Mario RPG instead of partying, Vito. Yeah, that'll be good. I said lol.

You didn't read that part. I said lol. That'll be a good replacement for going to a porn star's million dollar birthday party is streaming Super Mario RPG. That's what I want to do tonight. God damn it. This could be you eating and then cocks. I hate you.

I hate all of you. Deaf Noodles, will you plug your stuff? Yes. Please. Yeah. Everywhere, Deaf Noodles. I'm actually not uploading on the Deaf Noodles OG channel. It's Deaf Noodles New.

Okay. If you want to find the videos that I'm uploading. YouTube.com slash at Deaf Noodles New. Is that it? Yeah. Okay. We'll put that in the description. Guys, check the description if you're watching this on YouTube.

What kind of stuff are you doing? Were you taking it in a new direction? Yeah, just like commentary. Honestly, I at one point was like a little too far over on the left the way I was talking about stuff. And I found myself kind of what, not that I changed my political opinions, but I was like, I'm not going to play teams or like more of like yeah what destiny does which is like just to be rational and i was doing the team shit and that's just so fucking whack yeah so the moment that i started saying like oh actually this makes sense and people are like getting pissed off and like yeah yeah so i

was like fuck it i'll just start a new... You gotta be true to yourself. You're the most team player in the whole fucking universe. That's not true. Bringing in Chinese milkman things to prove that big government is good. What are you talking about? It was baby formula and they poisoned those kids. And I didn't say all regulations are good, but some regulations... You said they're not enough.

I'm saying the ones that we have are good. I didn't say there's not enough. When did I say there's not enough? There's not enough in China, clearly. There's not enough in China, okay. Well, we don't make anything there. In America, we might have a little too much regulation, but I think when you're arguing in favor of getting rid of all regulation.

All of them. Okay. So I actually have a question for you, Vito. Yeah. Would you vote for Trump in the next election? No! Unless the show gets to $10,000 a month on Patreon. Buy my vote, America.

Michael Rappaport said he would. Michael Rappaport? You don't love Jews enough to vote for Trump? Is that why Rappaport wants to vote for Trump? Because he loves Jews? Well, because he is Jewish. But yeah, also, he loves Jews. Biden loves Jews, too.

Not really. Dude, he came out the gate like... You think giving Iran $6 billion is loving Jews right before the terrorism attack happened? Before the terrorism attack. He didn't do it after the terrorism attack. They don't need money now. They already did. They got all of it.

They already won. You idiots. Look. You're saying you know more about Jews than Michael Rapaport? I don't think so. Is Michael Rapaport Jewish? Yes. Yeah.

I didn't know that. He gave a whole speech at the Save Israel rally in front of the White House. Yeah. Where only 250,000 people came. Is he a red-haired Jew? Is that common? I don't know. I thought he's Irish. I don't think Michael Rappaport is Jewish.

Why? Because he looks like Irish. I thought he was like Irish. He uploaded a whole video today saying, we will not forget. Anybody who's not supporting us, I'm not going to forget. You're not going to forget. Like elephants. I'm going to get an early life check on Michael Rappaport real quick.

That's a very Biden voter thing to do that you're doing. Well, he's the son of a radio executive which honestly goes towards your credence. Oh shit, he's Ashkenazi Jewish. The most Jewish. How is he Jewish? I thought he was Irish.

Irish people can be Jewish, too. Yeah. I don't know a lot of Irish Jews. Man, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're telling me you're going against Jews voting for Biden. Wow.

You must really love taxes and high mortgage rates. I'll follow the Jews wherever they go. Wherever they go, I will follow the Jews I'll follow the Jews More than Jews Wherever they go Wherever they go I will follow the Jews They're going to Trump

Are you kidding? Fucking Israel Jerusalem had 90 foot banners of Trump All over the city They love him For sure They probably like Biden too

No They do not like Biden Are we calling this show? Are we good? Guys don't forget. We want to hear more about your ideas of what's true or shit. You've been wrong. You've been wrong on the early life checks.

We've done this. Oh, okay. We've done this. Guys, please subscribe to Deaf Noodles New. Is that the channel? Yeah. Deaf Noodles New is the place to go. Don't forget, vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show.

And, of course, if you want to support the show and listen to our newest bonus episodes, head on over to patreon.com slash biggestproblem. I don't know if this is the most recent one, but let's pretend that it is. And I will update this graphic, as I know it's a little outdated. We love you guys. Take care of yourselves. And thank you for not killing yourself. Don't get addicted to animals.

Adam 22. If anyone is at Adam 22's party, just tell him there must be some way for the love of God. Yeah, Vito. I'm going to tell everybody there that my name's Vito. I'm going to introduce myself. I am Vito and do a bunch of bad stuff. Dick will be there. What, Adam takes you to do that? I'll have him say hi to you. Dick will be there. Ha ha.

What, Adam takes it to you? I'll have him say hi to you. Pathetic. I'm not going to say that. But you typed it, and now you're not. I did type it. I'll just tell him, have a fun night. There you go. Hi, there's nothing.

I'm fucked. There's no way I'm getting in. Stop clicking the button, it said. They were so annoyed. You know, clicking the button does nothing, right? They just don't like that you're, you know, so desperately trying to get in. Why would they let you in? I guess they're like, just stop clicking.

Stop it. Stop embarrassing yourself. It's because I did an RSVP early enough. That's what I'm going to say it is. He asked for my government name. He could ask. Maybe they told him, they're like, look, the list is just full. He asked for your government name to put told him He asked for your government name To put on a no entry list

Exactly That's exactly what I would have done I'm gonna go eat a whole sub sandwich and cry I'm gonna go give myself enemas all night That's my plan End it Fuck you guys. Uhhhhhh... They should still just go. That was fucking-

Maybe! They're going- They'll just go, but they'll know that there's nothing else. There was a mistake. You should lead with that. There's been a mistake. Uh, I'm sure. Bring Adam out here, he'll explain it.

I don't know, it will- Tell me where the address is, maybe. No, no, no, I can't do that. Oh, shut up! That would be against the- It's against the party, man. That would be against the party.