The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 116

Episode Date: November 25, 2023

That's good. Is it? A lot of problems. It's caused nothing but heartache issues for me. Yeah. How's that bond market treating you? I mean, what do you mean? It's all the same.

Sits there. Well, you locked in at 5%, right? Locked in. Locked in. Locked in. Locked in. No, I didn't lock in. Are they down to like 4.3 or something? Oh, no.

My bonds. My bonds. My percents. I don't know. I dumped it all in. Come moon. It's a new coin. These people keep tricking me into buying crypto.

I should stop. What do you buy? Somebody started hyping up Chainlink again. Yeah, Chainlink is good. I know. How much of it did you buy? Not that much. Like two?

Two Chainlinks? No, more than that. Five? Like 50. Oh, big spender. 300 bucks. Imagine how much you could buy with all that weight loss money. That's true. Oh, well.

Thanksgiving definitely is not helping with that. The weight loss? Oh, my God. I had so much ham. The ham was good. Josh Denny made excellent mashed potatoes. Rip weight loss. Rip weight loss.

I usually suck at making mashed potatoes. Wait, what? You suck at making mashed potatoes? I don't know why. What do you mean you usually suck at them? Well, because he has a food processor. So you really want, with the mashed potato, you've got to get it to a fine, fine consistency. Like a cloud.

Yeah. So you can go like... There's some people who tell you, like, oh, no, it's good when they're a little chunky or they leave the skins in there and shit. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Skins? Yeah. The fuck?

Some people leave, like, when you do the red skin potatoes Oh yeah but those are like all like Gluey Cum consistency You want just a clean Perfect frothy potato Like a toothpaste So what they had good mashed potatoes

Over there? Excellent mashed potatoes Okay Did you weigh yourself before and after? No over there. Excellent mashed potatoes. Okay. Did you weigh yourself before and after? No. Could double or nothing that. We could double or nothing your weight loss. Maybe we should because now I'm like, now it's like

going good, I think. Not really. Buddy, you only have like one week. I think it's next week. You have got to crash. Do a crash course. We'll see. Think of all the little shit you could buy with your with a crash course. I don't think it's happening. We'll see. Think of all the little shit you could buy with that money, though. I know.

I think that's part of the problem is I buy too much dumb shit. Oh, yeah? Instead of working out, eagerly shopping for deals. There we are. There we are. Oh, shit. I should have checked. Is this okay?

Is what okay? Oh, we look good. No, we look good. We look good. Yeah, we look good. I need to put a sticker on your mic arm. Yeah, so that we're both represented. Yeah. I need to get some of those.

I have a big bucket of lens wipes next to my computer. Uh-huh. Because my glasses always get dirty. Yeah. And then what? And then I got to clean them. But you try to clean with a shirt, it's still streaked. What do you mean?

Like for here? Yeah. Oh, for your glasses? Yeah. Fascinating. Also, do you ever clean the lens on the camera? I guess you don't really touch them, though. No, I don't.

You might get a little dust on them. I'm afraid I'll mess it up. You just take a little lens wipe and you wipe it down. A little lens wipe. But you're not touching the lens. It probably doesn't matter. Also, this show has the quality of a potato, so who gives a shit? Quality of a potato?

What do you mean by that? No, the cameras actually do look good. All right. How's the audio? It's good. Louder? He's saying louder. Wait.

Turn up Vito a bit, I think. Turn up Vito a bit. Where does it say that? I got to see if it's? He's saying louder. Wait. Turn up Vito a bit, I think. Turn up Vito a bit. Where does it say that? I got to see if it's a jackass saying it. I'm in Dread Cole. But nobody else is saying that, so I think he's fucking around. I think he's fucking around, because we look the same on the thing. Vito is quieter.

He says, okay. Yeah, bump me slightly. Yeah, but the problem is, because you get- Sometimes I yell. You come in and you're like- And then during the show you're like... Dick, I saw a bunch of black guys stealing stuff, and it was cool. That's cool.

Yeah. Okay, how's that? Is that better? The audio's fine. You said boys, though. I don't know. I don't know if you're joking around or jerking around. What's the best shoplifting holiday?

Man, I miss when the BLM riots were going on. Yeah. You should have went to the one in Long Beach, though, because that was just like Christmas for these people. You, you shoplifter. Christmas for you. Yeah, but I can't shoplift because I was streaming. Because otherwise, I was watching kids running into sneaker stores, running into GameStop. I went into a GameStop with all the windows broken and all these kids are running around

grabbing shit. And I'm like, oh, man. That looks fun. You couldn't point the camera the other way? Like, I got to get a hold of all this merch so nobody steals it. Here, it's me, Vito. Everybody knows me. I'm going to go keep it safe at home.

Those kids had worked really quick. There was like nothing left. So that went in. It was like the shelves were bare. Oh, man. They ripped open those drawers, grabbing handfuls of, you know, the CDs loose. Vito's face looks fatter, the chat says. God damn it. Yeah.

I don't know if that. Well, I did have Thanksgiving at Josh Denny's house. Do you feel fatter? I think I feel about the same amount of fat. I'm hoping that ham, but that ham calories, those don't count because those just melt away after a couple days. Of exercise? Yeah, no, it's just normal. Normal.

Ham can't remain in the human body for more than 48 hours. It's like corn. You can't digest it all. Yeah, exactly. You can't. We need weight loss tips brought to you by Vito's Weight Loss Tips. Block lofty pixels, everybody. You must block lofty pixels.

Get the word out. Do not engage. Block him immediately. I bought some magic cards and I was opening packs and I took a picture. I should have tweeted it out. I was going to. What was it? It's a card called Lofty Denial. Lofty? Lofty Denial. Like Lofty, yeah. It's a card called Lofty Denial. Lofty? Lofty Denial.

Oh, like a lofty denial. Like lofty, yes. It's a counter spell. I was going to tweet it out and be like, man, even Magic is getting in on this Block Lofty. Everybody's blocking Lofty. For the holidays. It's what all the kids are about. We're making a Grinch over here.

We got a Block Lofty all the way up to. And they love blocking Lofty. Slur Mountain, where he belongs. That We got a Block Lofty all the way up to... And they love Block and Lofty. Slur Mountain, where he belongs. Alright. That's where he goes. Should we do the show? Yeah, let's do it. I don't even know what kind of... Usually, you know, Thanksgiving time it's... Everybody's just gone

anyway. I don't even know. Biggest problem in the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the Universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the only show that ranks every problem in the universe from premature celebration to Twitter lies and disinformation. We're going to have a talk with our guests about their social media problems. Well, that's got to be Carl.

I'm your host, Dick Patterson. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. That was from LP Dirty T. Excellent rhyme. I think LP Dirty T is the guy we owe a t-shirt to from like three episodes ago. Yeah. Which we now have. Which we now have. The new Biggest Problem in the Universe t-shirts. Now I don't have one.

I know you don't have one. Why is that? Well cause I tried to call you to find out what shirt size you were and you never pick up the phone when I call you because you think it's going to be some annoying bullshit about me worried about us getting sued or something. So I was like, well, I'm just going to place an order because, you know, I only, whatever. I was just like, I want to place an order and see how they come out. You only get three free orders or something? And once a month, this site, we get to order three pieces of merchandise at cost.

I can just buy you one. It's like $20 or whatever. Oh, no, no, no. Come on. Don't go out of your way. Anyway, the Biggest Problem shirts are up at killdozer.industries or shop. Did we... I haven't made a link on the main website. I should do that. At what? Shop.BiggestProblem? Go to biggestproblem.show and slash shop, and then we can make a link

to it. Oh, okay. I see. But right now it's on my personal merch store. And it's a good shirt? It looks pretty good. It feels good to me. I think I got some Thanksgiving stains on it already, but let's not talk about that. You were wearing that yesterday? No, I don't know when I wore this. But it sounds like you messed up just there and you confessed to wearing it

yesterday. No, I wore it. I put it on to check the fit and then I ate a cheeseburger and then I took it off., there's stains all over it. Yeah, I know. Why would you get a white shirt? Why not just get a black one? Okay, here's my, this is another problem.

I can't get black shirts because my cats shed constantly, and I'm constantly lint rolling any black shirts. Okay. And I can't get white shirts because I'm a fat kid and I spill food all over them. Your friend having stains on his shirt is worse than you having stains on your own shirt. I have to say. I'm going to make a yellow shirt, which is

a nice middle ground. No matter what, it'll look like shit. Also, I don't know if these are up yet, but the biggest problem, hats. How are they not up? They have to digitize the file, and I don't know if that automatically... How do you have one? Because I ordered the first one,

which is when the designer supposedly digitizes the file, but then it should be... Because sometimes they kick it back to you, and they go I gotta take the file to the print! Yeah. Well, I've sent it to them before, and they've been like, oh, we can't digitize that. The letters are too close together, or something like that. But this one they clearly were able to. Yeah, it looks

cool. My question is, does it make more sense? So I sent it in as the regular rectangular logo, but am I supposed to make it like a trapezoid so it like looks more straight when it's curved around? Or am I being retarded? Have you ever seen a fucking hat that's shaped like a

parallelogram or like a trapezoid, like a pyramid? If you look at it head on, clearly it's like going inward. But if I made a logo that's like... Because of perspective? Yeah, yeah. Like the top of your head is slanted back? I could force the perspective out. How the fuck would that look? I don't know.

That's what I'm saying. But what if it doesn't look stupid? Maybe it would look better. You're saying like it would look like this? Yeah, exactly. But then when you wrap it around a curved hat. Like this? Yes, exactly. Let me see.

I was like, well, because then it would look straight. Look at it straight on. Yeah, that wouldn't look stupid at all. It's going in. Would I have on? It would self-correct. No, it wouldn't. I would just do it slightly.

That's not how it works. It would be a slight perspective change. You should make one of those. I should. I'm going to make the trapezoid logo. I have to pay the $30 digitization fee again if I do that. All right, well, I won't do it then either way. Please don't.

Check out my cool biggest problem swagger, which you can also have by going to killdozer.industries. I can't have these fucking earplugs in man I don't know how Is it just killing you? It's just like talking, moving my jaw Is just making them drill into my fucking Like ear holes Is there like a

Maybe there's a pair of headphones specifically designed for Tinnitus havers Dick still has tinnitus And I don't know why I'm more concerned about it than he is. Because I don't care about anything. After that Adam 22 party, I don't care about life anymore. I was listening to your show to see how you

characterized the Adam 22 party. Total depression. It sounded like you characterized it with, Vito was having fun because there was free food, and I was looking around at all these... I was having fun, but that was the last fun I'll ever have in my life. Because your 40th birthday isn't a debauchery fucking festival of porn stars and liquor. That's his every day.

Yeah, I know. He's living the life you want. Not necessarily. Well, he's living some of the life you want. He's living a better life than me. He's living a better life. Let's put it that way. He had Corey Feldman at the party.

Which you were too scared to go get a picture with. I was too scared. He was on the way out. I'm not gonna grab a guy on the way out the door. Good thing I did. Yeah, well you bullied me into it. Get over here. Let's get a picture with you. I look like a vampire. Did you notice Corey Feldman's bodyguards are just as weird looking as Corey Feldman?

I did notice that. That's so fucking weird. When I stopped him. Because when we were going into the party, I saw that weird big guy with the ponytail, and I said, who the fuck is that guy? And it turned out it was Corey Feldman's bodyguard. When I stopped him and they looked over, I'm like, are you guys like bodyguards or are you zombies? Yeah, dude.

What is that look you're giving me? I guess when you're a fucking wacko, you just have to get wacko bodyguards, which is cool. I'm all about, look, I support what Corey Feldman's doing Corey Feldman While he was famously molested by What's the guy from Two and a Half Men He was not molested by Charlie Sheen Get the fuck out of here

That's what he says What Although he says it in like He says it in like I don't know if it was him or the other Corey He might say Corey Was it John Cryer that molested him No it wasn't John Cryer

Or Agnes McDonald The little boy. He always beats around it where he goes, oh, he was a Hollywood star on blah, blah, blah, but if you add up all the clues, you're just talking about Charlie Sheen. Why the fuck would Charlie Sheen molest him? Well, that's what everybody says.

They're like, well, wasn't Charlie Sheen having sex with every woman in Hollywood? Why would he want to fuck Corey Feldman? Why would he want to fuck a little boy? A little Corey Feldman. Let alone you. Yeah. Well, that's what he talks about.

Man, this is the fucking what do you call it situation all over again. That guy from The Who, Pete Townsend. Oh. Why do I know about all the Hollywood sex crimes? Why do you know about all the Hollywood sex crimes? Because the Corey Feldman shit is interesting. Because he's always like, oh, I'm going to release this huge documentary Exposing all this shit And then he says the Illuminati shut it down

Just when his Patreon had hit 66 and 600 dollars And he's like, see Once it hit the mark of the beast on Patreon The Illuminati stepped in to shut down my child sex documentary That's what happened to my Career I was going to be just like Adam 22

When the Illuminati got involved Well you Did you eat all that food that you smuggled out? career. I was going to be just like Adam 22 when Illuminati got involved. Yeah. Did you eat all that food that you smuggled out? Except for the fries. Fries don't keep in the fridge. It's a long way to go. So we go to the party. I've been telling this story the whole time.

The food trucks. You got let on the list after the show last week. Yes. In a shocking breach of etiquette and statistics, you got a special text message from them. Because Adam loves me. Reversing the decision before that your invitation was no longer

pending. Adam22, world famous pornographer, got a Twitter DM from me and said wait a minute, my fat buddy isn't on the list. Something has gone horribly wrong. And then he came up to horribly wrong And then he came up to us Right when we got in And he said, ah, Dick and Vito, you guys are the best

Please don't say the un-word And then that's all we could say For the rest of the party A lot of other guys were saying it He incepted us Yeah And we couldn't even say why we were freaking out. Because we were like, what's wrong with you guys?

Why do you look like this? Oh, it's not because anybody said we couldn't say anything. It's not because of that. I think Adam 22 mistook us for Nick Fuentes. He's like, please don't say the N word. I'm like, I don't think you had to worry about that. But now you do because you put the idea in my head. No one believes what you're saying right now.

They know exactly what I say at these parties. I see a bunch of black guys walking around. I go, wow, there are a lot of gentlemen here. You're making it worse. I know, I am making it worse. Then you got in his highlight reel. I was in the Adam 22 highlight reel. You know why? Because I was having fun at the parties. You were like, oh, I wish I had a porn

star birthday. I wish I was up on that stage with Blueface. I wish Blueface was half-heartedly rapping at my thing. It's called mumblecore. You don't even know. How come Corey Feldman didn't perform Perfect Opportunity? Probably drugs.

Yeah, he was probably. He was enjoying that. I did get a picture with him. No one asked him. I should have brought the picture in. You took the picture. You don't have all your pictures that you've ever taken in your life? What do you mean? I should have sent it to you to bring it up. It's Corey Feldman holding an ice cream bar. Didn't I take it? You did take it. Oh, okay. So I

have it. Holding a half-eaten ice cream bar and going, why do I gotta take a picture with this fat piece of shit? It was great. I think Corey Feldman was feeling the same way you are, honestly. I think Corey Feldman was going, why is my party not like this? Oh man, he looks great!

What are you talking about? Let me try to shoot it. Point is, I go in, they got a Chinese food truck, I get the shrimp fried rice, excellent. Then they got a chicken sandwich truck, probably the best chicken sandwich I've ever had.

Then they got a guy frying up churros. What do you mean behaved? I behaved excellently. Got some churros, a little caramel sauce on them. Then Dick calls the Uber, and he says, we've got 15 minutes before the Uber gets here. I go, oh, fantastic. Go back to the Chinese food truck. I said, you can't take it. Get a little more fried rice.

You can't take a bunch of fucking food in the Uber with me I hid it in my goodie bag And then you didn't even go get a goodie bag What was in that? All smoking stuff What kind of smoking stuff? Like a rolling tray A roach clip

A bunch of fucking What do you call it? Wraps Like flavored wraps Yeah There was an electronic vape, strawberry, banana, whatever the fuck. And a big

no jumper ashtray. I'm getting this file right now as we speak. Honestly, I should go on eBay and be like, no jumper goodie bag. If anybody wants a bunch of no jumper branded... What am I going to do with a giant no jumper ashtray?

Well, I don't know why you took it in the first place. That's why I wasn't getting it. It's a free goodie bag. It's free shit. Dick, my favorite thing. You don't need to take everything that's free. Yes, I absolutely do. Why do you think I'm so excited about going to the parties?

Because free stuff is the best. Free food, free drinks, free shit I don't need. Anything free is great. All right, here, I'm opening it now. All right, good. Well, I'm trying to, but... That's why I love free food, because it combines the two best things, which is free shit and food.

Yeah. The only other good thing is sex. So if I could have got a girl to suck my dick while eating a free chicken sandwich, that would be the penultimate experience or the ultimate experience. Definitely ultimate. I should have just asked a girl, be like, can you just rub my dick through my pants while I eat this chicken sandwich? God damn H-E-I-C!

Trying to dropbox it? Yes, I got it working, but it's in that format that Oh, it's in like stupid not PNG format? Don't you have a Google Photos thing that automatically backs up all your photos? Shut up. Because that's what I do.

All right. I'll find it at the end. We'll find it later. Point is, me and Corey Feldman, we're going to get Corey on the show. Although I think he just did a big podcast. I think it was on the- Bigger than ours? Yeah, probably.

You going to tell me who won? Now I can hear it at the correct volumes at least. Employees not opening a second checkout line. I was so surprised at how much the comments were on my side on that one.

Everyone hates that. I know, but I didn't realize it was such a common experience. Like every time. Yeah. I saw a guy be like, I haven't even watched the episode yet and I already know Vito won. I'm like, wow, alright. I saw a guy be like, I haven't even watched the episode yet, and I already know Vito won.

And I'm like, wow, all right. I picked a good problem. Blowing your wad early. Yeah. And then social media disinformation. Okay. I feel bad. You feel bad.

Here's what always happens with our guests is they come in, and they're all primed. Yeah. And then after the show, they always go, oh, man, I really regret my problem. And I go, well. You set them up for failure, though. You do that. The show document, I'll tell them next time. Just pick a funny one.

You'll be happier. But no one reads. See, you send people this fucking document. No one reads a document. I read a document. It's got to be like address and like two sentences. Bring in a problem. Make it a go big.

Go big. Make it something you're really passionate about. Well, the problem is the things that people are passionate about is how much they hate social media. And put in there, don't make it about social media. Don't make it about social media. Don't make it about YouTube or social media. Don't make it about trans stuff. And don't make it about, I don't know, Democrats or whatever. Food.

No, do make it about food. You can make it about Democrats. All food problems are great. Okay. I'm loading it right now. 805 says, the last time Vito was on Kick or Keep, he was excellent. And he continued to be excellent until the last round this time when he began whining that he couldn't beat an old woman and rage quit the show. Sad showing.

I didn't rage quit. What happened there, buddy? Did you watch it? No. Okay. So last kicker keep I won, right? Yeah. Because I am fully primed to destroy this Zoomer generation of morons who aren't funny and aren't interesting.

Right. And I go into this one and I go, this is going to be easy. Clean sweep. She's got to be funny. 500 bucks in your pocket. 500 easy bucks. And I go, and here's our contestant. Her name is Nacho Mama. She's a 55-year-old grandmother with a tough talking southern attitude. And I go, this is the fucking final boss of life.

I have no defenses against this woman. She swept every round. Because all these girls would be like Well I think what I think And she's like well you girls are fucking whores And the thing about you OnlyFans whores Is blah blah blah I'm like there's no touching this woman What on earth can I

I can't call her names cause she's an old lady So you weren't just giving up cause that's what they said You were just giving up Okay here's the deal I tried two different plans of attack I tried attacking her in her only round. Because I look at the chat, man. I'm metagaming this.

Yeah, right. And I'm like, I got to win the chat over. There, look. There's you and Corey Feldman. There I am. Look at him in his. He looks so good. I will say I was not the fattest guy at the party.

So that was good. What? You saw there was that other fat guy. There was a couple fat guys. Maybe one. There was at least one or two. Okay. You were the fattest guy at one floor of the party.

At one time, I might have been the fattest guy on one of the floors. Yeah. But that's why I made it on the highlight reel. So an old woman beat you on Destiny's show? Look, first I tried attacking her, and I realized the chat just loves this woman. I'm like, okay, I got to get on her side. It's the only way to make it to the finals. So I slowly wormed my way back.

But then it was me and her in the finals. And you just quit? No, I tried going on the offensive. But I was looking at the chat and the chat was just Vito L, Vito L over and over. And I went. And I was just like, I was out of juice. You got to say, use colored in a sentence for old people. I tried to get her to say something racist and she wouldn't do it. And another

girl, that lav girl, even tried to do the same thing. She's like, do you even have any black friends? She's like, I have a gay black friend. I'm like, we're done! She's got it all locked up. And here's the other problem. The final, you know, it's like a debate show with topics. Yeah. And they're like, what do you think about like... A 60-year-old fat woman

they said, from the South, you got beat by. They said, what do you think about streamers, the current world of streaming? Yeah. She had a whole fucking thing prepared. She had all these thoughts about how these streamers are leading kids wrong and whatever. What an annoying bitch. Yeah, I know. That's what I should have harped on.

That's what you should have said and hammered her. It didn't come to mind. I literally, I drew a blank. I'm like, I don't care about streamers at all. I hate all this shit. I'm only here to make fun of streamers. Which I should have followed up on that line, but I was just, man, I was out of gas. Why was she there? Just to pick. She is a kick streamer,

I guess. So it's anybody out. They like getting, they're promoting the kick service. Subscribe to me at kick.com slash veto comedy. Oh, fuck off. Another thing? I don't know, man. Whatever.

Oh, God. All right. I got to get more people over there so I can win 500 bucks the next time. Breadman, Vito being too scared to ask for the GameStop girl's number is the funniest thing in the show in a while. You're so busy defending yourself that you can't even let his whole comment out. I didn't think about it until I left the store, okay? And at that point, I had already left the store.

And then I went, I should have asked for her number. It's not fear, it's regret. Finnegan says, I agree with Vito on this one. It's human nature to want your children to be as strong, healthy, and capable as possible. I think that was about the Invincible, that weird thing that you tweeted. That Invincible tweet that eventually hit 20 million impressions. That's as many as Mint got. And then today I checked my ex-monetization.

It says you have received $20. And I went, that better not be factoring for this month. That better. Yeah, nobody wants to advertise with that weird kind of shit that you got. Did they not put any ads on? They must have. Come on. No, the ADL messed it up

for everybody. I think it's calculated for the prior month because I'm expecting a big payday from that invincible tweet. And if I don't get it, I'm going to scream.

That was my winner for the year. What a weird tweet. I think that's my second biggest tweet of all time. That's what you have to offer. Yeah.

McHell, MCHellShit said, I got so addicted to enemas, quote, I had to retrain my butthole to poop right female pickup lines that would absolutely work on me. Yeah, can we get Def Noodle's girlfriend to come in by herself? She's wonderful. Because I feel like we need to follow up on that. ProdMuleFC says, Vito's point about getting pregnant with a superhero godchild might be more probable for anyone who isn't a viltrumite oh he's got a whole bunch of stuff about the comic okay um apparently a big part of the comic is trying to make viltrumite babies so i've read into the

future j9 7 something says it's so that Vito's whole perception of having children during that insane godchild thing basically rests on what the baby can do for him. His baby is an investment, not a child. What do you think about that? Why else would you make a kid if you're not going to get anything out of it? I agree with you. The whole point of making a kid was you needed somebody else to help work the farm

and harvest time, okay? It wasn't, ooh, I'm going to raise it and love it and shit. Even now, all the trad cats are like, you got to have a kid because that's how you're fulfilled.

It's like, well, what about the kid? What is the kid going to do? I see the tweet. I see you guys telling each other what you get out of it, but you're all pieces of shit. Right.

And that kid's not going to want to take care of you. Remember that whole graph you guys love so much that it's like weak men and good times and good times, happy days, right? Right, right. You're the bad men. Good times lead to happy days and it's just fucking what's his name? The Fonz. The Fonz.

You're the fucking, yeah, you're Archie Cunningham's brother that walked up the stairs and never got seen. You're the bad dads, okay, that make the weak men that cause the good times. Moving on up. Good times lead to family matters. Family matters lead to a full house. Full house. That's the chart. Good times leads to family matters.

What is the show? Family matters leads to full house. Full house. Full's the chart. Good times leads to family matters. What is the show? Family matters leads to full house. Full house. Full house leads to... Roseanne, that doesn't work at all. Growing pains. Growing pains is bad. That works.

That works. That works. Jay Christou says, best part of Friday. The Bantaman says, Vito is so right about the pregnant Amber thing. Thank you. Idiot. I was on every Reddit board. I was on just neckbeard things. But his kid

fucked up his dad though. Omni-man Mark fucked up Omni-man's whole plan. What don't you get about that? Wait, wait, but that's a whole different situation. Omni-man was gonna give us all this new technology and shit and Mark fucked his son, fucked it all up. Look,

if you want to make the argument that having a Viltrumite child may make you an enemy of the Viltrumites, that's a fair argument. That's a bad, yeah. But to say that Amber needs to finish her gender studies degree, that's a bad argument against the godchild. What the fart says. Literal godchild. What says rip invite.

Okay. Well, there you go. Well, I did get my invite. And I know Riley's very upset because apparently he was writing an entire song about how I wasn't invited to the party. But I was. And Adam 22 is my best friend. And I said, I had a great time at your party. And I got a picture of Corey Feldman. And he put a little heart reaction.

So I know that we're buddies. I told him I had a good time, too. I didn't tell him any of that other stuff about depression and nihilism and stuff. Well, that probably would have brought him down. I don't say that stuff. Well, I think that we learned. Yeah, I have a bit. It's a very special segment I like to call Vote It Up.

You doing the Christmas one now? It's Christmas time. It is not Christmas time. When does Christmas time start? What the fuck was that singing? What was that? That was a voted up jingle. I said it sounds horrifying to listen to.

Why is it so high pitched and fucked? What do you mean? Was that like AI singing it? I don't think so. Did it sound like AI? Sounds... Somebody sent it in. Maybe it's one of those cigarette guys

that's got the voice box. Well, that's fucking horrifying. When does Christmas time start? It's now. Right, the day after Thanksgiving? Yeah, of course. During Thanksgiving, actually. That's stupid. Well, guys, it's voted up. The segment where we revisit past problems and put them in a new light. Guys! Guys, see if you can

come up with a worse stinger than that. No, make the stingers good. Stop fucking around. And stop making them long, too. Whatever, do it. Worse and longer. Yeah, make them five minutes long. And a gotta to beat it along. Vote it up.

Biggest problem. Yeah, okay, go ahead. There's a show that I know. Stairway to heaven. Let's see. Guys. That's just my joke, but a different song. Well, I'm, you know, yes anding your joke.

It's not yes and, it's mine. You're doing yes mine. You didn't provide lyrics to your... You didn't up the stakes at all. Okay. You just changed the song. It's building upon it. It's not building upon it.

It's just changing it. It's changing it. That's what you don't get. It's just changing it. It's giving another example of what it could be. That's not yes and. Yes and is yes and then adding a new dimension onto it. It's giving another example of what it could be. That's not yes and. Yes and is yes and then adding a new dimension onto it. Which is better. It's like

addition. Guys, from episode 96, a very popular topic which has gotten this show in a bunch of trouble for some fucking reason. The question of charity fraud. Well, following up on popular influencers who may have misled

their audience with certain charity-type debacles, popular YouTuber Harad Khalil, also known as The Completionist, has been accused of holding back more than $600,000 in dementia research funds for his charity, The Open Hand Foundation.

He thought they'd forget about it. Did you see this story? I kind of. Did you hear people talking about this? He just didn't pay them in time? Well, what happened is- When was the fundraiser? He would run yearly fundraisers.

This has been going on for 10 years. He would run these yearly gaming fundraisers claiming to be raising funds to end dementia, and then all that money is just sitting in a bank account. All of it? Yeah, all of it. He hasn't donated a single dollar, which is weird and bad. Ten years of it? Ten years of it. So it's not even accumulating interest, so it's actually losing money the more it sits in there.

And the question is, were you going to donate that at some point, or were you just going to sit there until like 20 years go by and everybody forgets about it? It was actually Mudahar, who I think you've met, Some Ordinary Gamers, and Carl Jobst. You may have seen his various documentaries. How'd they crack this case? I don't know who first started digging into it.

What did they do, though? These two guys, well, they brought up the IRS records. You know, all of this, it's a public charity, so you can see what's going on. That's certainly, that's a crime to go look at public records of charity donations. It's a very... If they sent an email of any sort asking where the funds were... Did you send the email? Who sent the email?

Did you do this? Who sent the email? Did you do this? Sending emails to charity. I saw that Star Wars girl, I think, said that Eric showed her proof that you sent the email or something. Really? I saw a clip of it. I don't know.

I got to double check. What proof? I got to double check before I fucking flip out. Okay. Well, I didn't send any emails, so I have no idea. If he has... He doesn't have any emails. There's no emails.

I know there's no emails, but like... Because you didn't send it. If any... I would have sent it. If either of us would have sent it, it would have been me. Yeah, but also, he claims to have any emails. There's no emails. I know there's no emails. Because you didn't send it. If any, I would have sent it. If either of us would have sent it, it would have been me. Yeah, but also he claims to have receipts. Okay, just show me what you have because I'm like actually genuinely mystified.

He said, I have receipts. Receipts. That's different. Why would I send an email? Point is, Gerard has admitted to misleading donors, but he's yet to explain why the money was never donated or what he plans to do about it. There's also a bunch of listed associates, you know associates saying, oh, we're also working with this charity and this charity. They're not working with any of those, so it's just really weird and shady all around.

Fuck charity. Keep that money, man. You made the money. The money's for you. People who give to charity are dumb. Fuck them. Make that cheddar. It's confusing, though.

I don't know, because the money is just sitting there, so I don't know if it's just gross incompetence. How do you know it's sitting there? You can see how much money an organization has on hand. You can see what they said they have. You can't see what's in the account. Well, that's true. Maybe the money's missing.

Maybe it just says, oh my God, the money's gone. What are you guys, retarded? I mean, my theory is that, because here's the other problem is the charity. It's like employs all his family, you know, like his brother and his dad and whatever else. Yeah. And I'm like, somebody in that family just took the money or something. Yeah. And that he's trying to figure out.

No, I mean, I get it. You start an organization and then you just give your family members cushy jobs so they can collect a minor salary or whatever. It is a little bit of fraud. Whatever. You put them on the board of directors. Anyway, guys, charity fraud is currently number 150 with 354 votes. Seems like it should be a little bit higher.

So why don't we vote it up? I got one more for you. Okay. Hate hoaxes. I think this was your problem all the way back in episode 43. You talking about October 7th? No. Maybe October 6th. No, 7th.

Was it? Wait, what happened on October 6th? On October 6th, the IDF said, let's let Hamas come over the wall in paragliders and execute this festival. That's not a hoax. That's what happened on October 6th. I'm thinking of January 6th.

My bad. Oh, yeah? That wasn't a hate crime, though. Well, guys, it's important for you to know this important update. The Illinois Appeal Court is currently hearing oral arguments by attorneys for Jussie Smollett, who claims his conviction should be thrown out. In 2019, he and Cook County State Attorney Kim Fox reached an agreement to drop the charges in exchange for a $10,000 bond in community service.

Of course, that agreement was tossed out, and he was convicted in a separate case. His lawyers, however, are now arguing that that violates his protections against double jeopardy, where you can't be charged for the same crime twice. She's going, there was already an agreement. Oh, like Bill Cosby. That's how he got away with all that rape. Well, that wasn't a double jeopardy thing. Well, no, it was a double jeopardy thing where they said

if you testify on this, we'll give you this deal, right? Yeah. And then they tried him for the deal. And then they used the information they got during the deal to try him again. Yeah. And it's like, well, I wouldn't have given you that if you can't do that. Yeah.

Yeah, that was very obvious. I was like, what are you guys doing? You can't do that. They fucked up his whole life, though. You can't go, hey, admit, and we'll only give you a year. And it's like, OK, cool. And you go, oh, you admitted. Oh, we're going to get you on 20.

And it's like, now no one gets to see go, oh, you admitted! Oh! Busted. We're gonna get you on 20! And it's like... Now no one gets to see the Cosby show. I know, they really... Come on, man! Do you think they could bring the Cosby show back and just, like, AI

digitally replace him with, like, a different, like, black guy? Oof. That'd be cool. He'd have to be pretty black. What if it was just Carl Winslow, like,

had a second show? Uh... Oh, and they got him in there yeah and you could put like Urkel in the background of a couple episodes I don't like the Urkel part I don't think Urkel's funny Urkel made the show man you wouldn't even have that show you know Urkel saved that show right yeah if Urkel showed up and all of a sudden America went I have fallen in love with the Winslows it's emasculating for a black man that's why they put Urkel in there and all of a sudden America went, I have fallen in love with the Winslows. It's emasculating for a black man. That's why they put Urkel in there.

I got a question for you. Did he do that? That's the question. Point is, guys, the three-judge panel has gone into recess on Tuesday afternoon. If Smollett's appeal fails, he will have to finish out his 150-day jail sentence. He's in jail? No. He has currently spent 6 days in jail

That's too many That's too many? That guy's done enough, come on It was funny The whole MAGA country Everyone had a good laugh Tied up a lot of Chicago resources Good, fuck Chicago and their resources

Cops always say that They're tying up resources. Like, why don't you guys go arrest each other and fuck off and leave everyone alone? You know, I mean, the Chicago cops are so busy. Go beat each other's wives if you

want something to do. We respect the law enforcement here on Biggest Problem. I don't. I hate cops. All of them. Not all of them. Every single fucking one. Well, that problem is currently number 144. Don't forget to vote it up.

Vote it up or I'll wreck your family. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Raise your voice and serve democracy. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la. Choose your leaders wise. Fa la la la la la la la Raise your voice It's our democracy Fa la la la la la la Choose your leaders wise I can't even hear what the fuck he's saying. It doesn't make any sense. Something about democracy?

Yeah. Alright. Oh, I won, huh? Yeah, you won. Well, that means I gotta go. Alright. Dick, it's the holiday shopping season. Time for deals and steals.

Black Friday today is Black Friday. Did you buy anything today for Black Friday? Yeah. What'd you buy? I bought my girlfriend the pajamas she sent me and said this would make a great Christmas present for me. So you bought yourself a gift for her to give to you? No, she said it would make good...

What the fuck? How did you understand that? I don't understand what happened. You think she's sending me a gift for me? You bought her pajamas? You think I'm buying myself sexy pajamas? I don't know. She sent me a link, said these would make a great Christmas present for me.

Get them. For me as in for her. A present for her. Yeah. Yes. I understand now. I get it. There's different ways to interpret that statement. No, there's not. Some men wear pajamas. I don't know.

You didn't specify that they were sexy pajamas. Why would she be sending me a link for my own pajamas to buy? I don't know. This would be a great gift for you? Yeah, well, it could say like, hey, do you like these pajamas? I could buy them for whatever. It's not that outlandish. Do you buy yourself pajamas for the winter? No one else is buying me pajamas, I'll tell you that.

Point is, Dick, plenty of deals, plenty of steals. Yeah. But these can lead to a very big problem, perhaps the biggest problem in the universe, which is buyer's remorse. Okay. Buyer's remorse is the sense of regret after having made a purchase. Like that. Yeah.

Typically associated with large purchases, expensive purchases, often such as vehicles or real estate or a house that sits above a giant pit of shit, which will never be. How's your fucking house doing? You don't have any regrets? That's good. Because buyer's regret is bad. No, I don't give a fuck.

That's good. I was going to say, you know what? One thing I've been doing during Black Friday is buying video games, of course. I love video games. I would think that your whole everything you buy has buyer's remorse. Like all the toys and Funko Pops and shit

and video games. Unless it goes up in price and then I feel smart. When it goes down in price I feel stupid. Is there an ETF of like trash toys that you could just invest in? If you invest in Funko Pops. They're going on the moon. Last year, I saw that they had Tales of Symphonia, one of my favorite games.

Like Berkshire Hathaway, but just a guy with a bunch of bullshit. Amazon fulfillment house. Actually, they do have that. Of course. I don't know if they still... I think they had to shut it down, though, because it wasn't working. It was making too much money. You could have a group buy where everybody in the buy owns one one-thousandth of an Amazing Fantasy No. 15. No, it doesn't work if you fractionalize it.

It was fractionalized. Yeah, it's not worth the same. No? Yeah, no. Conceptually, it's not. Well, I think they had to eventually shut the ETF down and just sell the items and parse out whatever the value was. The point is, about a year ago, I saw on the site and I said, I'm not going to buy it. I don't need it.

It was Tales of Symphonia remastered with a steel book case. I was like, I don't need it. It's like $60. And then at the last minute, I'm like, oh, if I don't get it, though, I'm never going to get that steel book. Was it like a book made of metal? No, it's like, yeah, it's a nice metal DVD case. It's nicer than the plastic ones. Looks cool on a shelf.

I bought it. Flash forward today, Black Friday, $25. That's a loss of more than 50% of value. So you bought it for $40. I bought it for $60. $60. And it's now $25. And thinking that it would at least retain its value as a limited edition collector's item.

Dude, you're like the fucking Elvis collector's plates that they would play when we were kids. Like, they would show that ad, and an old woman like you would be like, I gotta buy this fucking Elvis collector's plate. It's worked out for some stuff. My video game collection's worth a lot more than what I originally paid for it, most of it. There's some stuff that I bought. But I feel like the value is just an excuse to buy more stuff. My video game collection is worth a lot more than what I originally paid for it. Most of it. There's some stuff that I bought. But I feel like the value is just an excuse to buy more stuff.

Yeah, because it'll just be worth more in the future, obviously. Okay. It's like all these fucking magic cards I keep getting, which I'm also watching plummet in value. And I have tremendous buyer's remorse. Oh, yeah. Didn't you say that Hasbro is a good stock buy? Well, yeah. Now it is. Not prior.

Stock tip veto. It's lost like half, yeah. Now it is. Not prior. It's lost like half its value. I think it's hit kind of a floor. Floor? No, he's always down. I'm limping in. I'm limping in on Hasbro. Point is, Dick, I got you a present.

This is the Pac-Man world for the Nintendo Switch. Look at that. Can I open it or what? Yeah, if it's yours, do whatever you want with it. Oh, man. Okay. I figured you. And if you don't like it, you can give it to the nephews or something.

I figured they wouldn't like it. No, they don't get any of my stuff. And then also, do you have a knife? Here, use the serrated edge of the cap. Sure. Bottle cap. It also comes with, you probably don't want this trash. So you said it's not Christmas time, but you're doing presents. It's Thanksgiving presents time.

I don't know why I opened this. It doesn't, there's nothing else to get out of it. And you buy yourself this? No, this is part of your present. You need help with that? I'm trying to not destroy the box, even though you're not going to keep the box, so what does it matter? I might keep it. You might keep it.

All right, and... Oh, you just ripped it? This box is not... My box is not mint anymore. It has another box inside it. Oh, what is this? It has another box inside it. Oh, what is this?

This is your complimentary Chogokin Pac-Man statue, which is a large metal Pac-Man. Yeah, you're not going to keep this thing. Why do you have this? Why am I so into Pac-Man? Well, because, okay, here's the deal is that this was $120 collector's edition Pac-Man that comes with the game and that statue. And for Black Friday, it was $20. Like today?

Yeah, dude. You bought this today? No, I bought it like it's been, you know, the Black Friday month or whatever. For $20, you get the game and a giant Pac-Man statue. I bought a couple of them to just give to people. Where the fuck is Pac-Man black? It's a big black metal Pac-Man. It's made of metal.

It's awesome. I have one for myself. Being made of metal doesn't make something better. Dude, you can put Pac-Man inside the big robot Pac-Man. Like he's eating himself? No, like he's piloting it like a giant mech. Okay. Whatever.

If you don't like it, give it to your fucking nephew. I don't even know how to like or not like it. It's some sort of a metal Pac-Man. The point is that I was going online. I was looking at people and they're going, oh my God, they're sold out. This is from a year ago. They're like, they're sold out of Pac-Man World. I got to get Pac-Man World.

It's 120 bucks for the limited edition Pac-Man. Yeah. It's now 20 bucks. And I imagine most people have tremendous. Is the game fun? The game's fun. Yeah, I like it. It's bucks and i imagine most people have tremendous game fun the game's fun yeah i like it it's like a little 3d pac-man game okay well thank you it's kind of like a mario black pac-man there you go it's 20 bucks does it 20 bucks no it doesn't line up but it's like cool it fucking opens up and the eyes move and shit can i I open it? Yeah, you can absolutely open it. It's your toy.

You know, you got to get that. Just don't puncture the box. Point is, Dick. Okay. That the phenomenon of buyer's remorse has been generally associated with the psychological theory of cognitive dissonance. A state of psychological discomfort when two elements of cognition are in opposition, which motivates the person to appease it by changing how they think about the situation. a state of psychological discomfort when two elements of cognition are in opposition, which motivates the person to appease it by changing how they think about the situation. This is an example of post-dissonance dissonance,

where a person is stressed by a decision that has already been made and seeks to decrease their discomfort by changing their feelings about the item. For instance, you might go, well, my house sits on a pile of shit, but hey, at least it's got a great living room to get over your buyer's remorse there. Another example might be if you spent $35 plus $12 shipping on a really bad superhero comic book.

But you now have to go, well, at least I'm supporting the culture war and the ambitions. Oh, they all have to say that. I support what Eric's doing. I support what he's doing. And that's what matters. He criticized media forever, and then he made some media. So you really got to respect that.

Since fucking when do you have to respect that? I don't know. Nobody respects that. I don't understand that at all. Everybody thought media could be better and then made something, and it sucks, and everybody fucking makes fun of it. That's what it is. I don't understand the...

Oh, man. It's Black Pac-Man. It's Black Pac-Man. Hide your Mrs. Pac-Man. Black Pac-Man's coming. Comes with a bunch of black ghosts as well. What the hell? Yeah, the number of people who have gone, no, you don't understand that he made fun of comic

books for a long time, and then he made some comic books. And they suck. And that's like... Yeah, and they really suck. But that's like putting your money where your mouth is. And it's like, dude, Roger Ebert made a movie, and that movie also sucked. And nobody goes, oh, dude, we got to watch Beyond the Valley of the Dolls again because, you know, I just really respect that Roger Ebert shits on movies and then he made a movie.

All politics. It doesn't matter. I got a better way to do this. It's called communism. Vote for me. Everyone's dead. Well, you got to respect that he did something dead. Well, you gotta respect that he did something about it.

My parents suck. I'm gonna have kids. I kicked the shit out of them. Well, you gotta respect that he tried it. Oh, Jesus. There's like a tiny baby Pac-Man. Yeah, it's a tiny baby Pac-Man that goes in the big one. And the big one's really top-heavy and falls over constantly. Unless you put it on that special base it comes

with. Okay. Open it up like a Pac-Man. Look at that. See, it's got a little cockpit for Pac-Man to sit in. He can also go on the base. And you can raise up his little cockpit chair so you can see him better.

Somehow. He's really in there. Oh, there it is. There you go. Look at that. Well, now he's in his mausoleum. His packed mausoleum. It's a pretty cool little thing. Do you have one of these? Yeah, I have one of these at home.

I think it's pretty cool. Again, I don't have buyer's remorse for this because I play. You play with it. Give it to me. You got that little wheel. You don't have buyer's remorse for this. I don't, but other people would because they paid $120 fucking dollars

for it. Meanwhile, you got this. Smart guys buy. Sometimes you make a good buy. Sometimes you make a bad buy. The game for $20 is with $20 you get a whole Pac-Man guy. I guess this was just my excuse to bring in a cool Pac-Man guy and talk about it for like a couple minutes.

What's the most buyer's remorse thing that you've ever had? We know mine. I guess this was just my excuse to bring in a cool Pac-Man guy and talk about it for a couple minutes. All right. What's the most buyer's remorse thing that you've ever had? We know mine. What is my biggest buyer's remorse? Probably that time I bought a car on Impulse and the car was all fucked and I had to get all these repairs made on the car. Pretty much every car I buy, I end up just going, well, I got to get this car because I don't have a car. And then I find out that the guy who sold me the car lied about it. Yeah.

Every time. One time I bought a car and the wheels were not on straight because it was like. How'd you miss that? Because I'm a retarded. Okay. I'm a retarded 20-year-old boy. They weren't on straight? Like, how crooked were they?

Like, they were going like this somehow. And I was like, I should have noticed that, right? But I was just like, I'm in LA. I just got here. I need a car. It's a nice Honda Civic. And it turned out that... You got to LA and you needed a car right away? I was there for a couple months, but whatever. Okay.

Anyway, I got the car and then it turned out it had a salvage title and the guy didn't report that it had a salvage title. And then I won $1,000 from a court thing and then he went, I don't have any money to pay it. And the court went, okay. And so I never got that $1,000. Was he a Mexican guy? No.

I think he was like half Hispanic or something. Half what? What other half was he? I didn't ask. Hmm. One of those shady, shady types. Well, that was very Hamas of him. Yeah. I won the $1 $1000 thing and then it's like Okay well you can spend the next 10 years chasing him after $1000 And I'm like okay well

I don't really have the time for that so fuck it You gotta put the ghosts on there too Okay I'll put the ghosts on it They're hiding in the base You just can't resist playing with it Someone was pointing out that you were on Tony's show Bouncing your knee bass. You just can't resist playing with it, can you? Someone was pointing out that you were on Tony's show, bouncing

your knee and so much, and they're like, it really fucking annoyed me the whole time. How do you know I'm bouncing the knee if I'm behind a thing? Because you're like always, it's like rippling all over your body. I have restless leg syndrome. No, you gotta stop that. You gotta exhibit zen. I'm not doing it right now.

That's why I brought it up. Because I'm focused on Pac-Man. Yeah. If I was focused on something else, I'd be jiggling. Oh, no, that's a different thing. So the point is, guys, whether you're out there buying, maybe, again, this problem is if you made a big purchase recently, you buy a TV, next thing you know, next week, it's Black Friday sale, half price. Oh.

So you're giving people like a shopping tip. Well, I get all anxious. I don't want to make any big purchases in the lead up to November because I'm like, yeah, I might be on sale. I might be on sale. Like I bought a tablet earlier in the year and I'm like, I know this is going to be like half price the second Black Friday fucking rolls around. But I needed it then.

What do you use it for? I use it for storyboarding my comics why are you laughing i need this tablet to storyboard my fucking comic it has been it has been storyboard a fucking comic before tablets were before brand new tablet easier okay what uh what kind of tablet was it apple pro ipad pro Pro? No, no. I got a Samsung. Whatever the top Samsung one is. Oh, okay. I thought about getting an iPad because that's what a bunch of the artist kids use. Oh, yeah.

Pro. I hate Apple shit. It's also like an extra 500 bucks. I think it was like 800 bucks. I've used it. I storyboarded like the whole comic on it. I can sit in bed and I can do the storyboard. When's that comic coming out?

Soon. Soon? Very soon. Guys, buyer's remorse, or as I call it, shit you already bought going on sale. But buyer's remorse is probably more apt. Buyer's remorse, you can apply that to a lot of things. You can apply that to a lot of things, not just comic books and stupid toys. Yeah.

God, I didn't want to move to this town. Yeah. I didn't want to get this job. I didn't want to lock in with this girl, and now Shaq will do her forever. She's draining my bank account. That's the worst purchase of all, marriage. Buyer's remorse. Give it a vote at biggestproblem.show.

Okay, my problem is immigration. No, Dick. Immigration is our strength. Every kind. Diversity is our strength. Right. What's immigration? Is it just like GDP?

Why do we... You know, I watched... Well, the thing happened in Ireland or whatever, where that immigrant stabbed a bunch of kids. That thing happened in Ireland or whatever. What happened exactly, Dick? Some immigrant stabbed a bunch of kids because he thought it was funny.

Hamas immigrated over the wall. That was an immigration issue. That was an immigration problem. They just wanted to immigrate. Come on, man. Can we just, like, stop with this immigration shit? In what way? All of it?

All of it. So everybody sees, like, poor immigrants and like, well, fuck this poor immigrants shit. Fuck this. Yeah. I'm not, well, fuck this poor immigrants shit. Fuck this. I'm not paying these guys for hanging around, whatever. Right. Taking our jerbs, right? Well, we're taking those jerbs. But then they always come in and go, some jackass always comes in and goes, you know

what we want is the real hardworking people can stay. I'm like, why the fuck would hardworking people want other hardworking people here doing hardworking shit and cutting your money in half? That's taking the good jobs. Yeah. Hey, I'm here. I'm the last hardworking guy you got, man. I want more taco truck guys. Give me.

I don't got to worry about those guys. Yeah. Only taco truck guys. Yeah. I got some stats if you're interested. How do I not benefit from more taco trucks? What is the negative impact? You go to a bar, like, wow,

there's all these hot single girls here. How would you like a bunch of other guys here? No. I wouldn't. If they're hardworking. I definitely wouldn't want a bunch of hardworking guys who are dressed as good or better than me. That would be horrible. Why the fuck? Why are you guys all saying this? Why do you guys all say, you know,

we want all the, because they're, like, trying to signal that they're themselves hardworking. Right. They're like, I really just don't like lazy people. I love, I want more hardworking guys because we can like fucking synergize and be hardworking together. Like, do you know how fucking dumb that is to even think that? I did see a guy and he was tweeting

about how Americans don't understand immigration the way Europe does because all our like, you know, Yeah, what do we know about bringing guys in in America? Thanks, Europe. Why don't you go blow your fucking brains out? Yeah, we're getting Mexicans. We're not getting, you know, Islamist guys, I guess.

Is that the worst immigration that we have in America, Mexicans? And Canadians. They're awful. No, but whenever we get guys from like, if somebody from the Muslim world comes over here, like, they got to at least afford a plane ticket and stuff. So you should just, like, a guy, you know. Get him out. Ten million bucks.

If you have ten million bucks, you can immigrate here. That's it. Or if you want to be a doctor and you're a hardworking Asian or Indian person. Only if you want to be a doctor. Otherwise, no. Even then, doctors are getting fucked over big time in America. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I mean, there's no new... They're not getting any more money after all that Obamacare shit when everyone pays so much more for health care. Right. So where's it all going? Just give it to the doctors. Well, no. We've got to hire a bunch of fat Filipinos to hang around the hospital with them, right?

We got guys like Gerard just putting $600,000 in his own bank account, not giving it to any doctors. Oh, yeah, exactly. He's fucking them all over. Okay, here, I have actual stats. All right. That's my favorite phrase on this show, by the way. I have his stats for you.

I have actual stats. That's the for you. I have actual stats. That's the best phrase. I have actual stats. We need a stinger for that. Okay. Okay. Immigrants reduced the average annual earnings of native people by 4%. And for high school dropouts, 7%.

All right. That's not even that bad. How? Like it negatively impacts the economy because they're, what, taking social services and shit? It's just like more people. They're not bringing over. There's no immigrants who bring over an entire company and go like, okay, here, here's my company. Now I'll hire all you guys.

Some people. Not a lot. Who does that? Nobody. Some people want to put their companies in America because America has good tax rates and shit, right? Ireland has good tax rates. America doesn't have good tax anything. They have the worst tax rates.

I guess that's true. You want to do all your taxes overseas. Why do companies... Ireland specifically. Yeah. Because they don't have to pay any tax. None. Yeah, there's a lot of Irish.

Doesn't Apple do all their Irish taxes in Ireland? Everybody does. That's wild. Okay. Here is the H-1B people. Here's the hardworking one. I'm going to do all my taxes in Gaza and say the money disappeared and then fucking rubble. No, they won't let you do that.

A missile blew up all my money. Out of nowhere. And ironically, the other half of my money was that missile that blew up my money. That'd be a good tactic. Wait, wait, wait. I had an actual figure, but I think I lost it. For how much money everyone's getting? Oh, yeah, here.

Half a million people in H-1B, right? Half a million people. In America? In America. So what's an H-1B worker get? Probably like $150,000. What? From when?

For high-tech workers. For salary? Total. Right now, there's 580,000 H-1B workers here, because they put in new ones every year. I don't think they're all making $150,000, though. IT workers? H-1B? Let's say $100,000. $100,000. Alright? So what is that?

Half a trillion dollars? $100,000? Is it? Is that right? I wasn't going to take that job. I'm not going to be a fucking tech guy. How does this impact me as an idiot who makes YouTube videos? Now, if a bunch of immigrants came over and they start going, the thing about Star Wars is I do not like the Star Wars. I'd go, well, this is just fucked up.

What are we doing here? I don't know how to impact you on anything is the problem. Nothing impacts you because you don't contribute anything. I know. I'm living the perfect life. It's just fucking impossible. I live in a bubble completely insulated

from the real world. You are the very bottom of social utility. I can't push you. You are the tragedy of the commons. I can't propel you one way or the other with any of these arguments. I go to a porn star's party. I eat his fried rice. And you get in the highlight reel.

And I get in the highlight reel. Nothing in this world you've created has any bearing on me. Everybody else. You're like, I'm having problems with my house. I'm like, I just rent some shit apartment. That's half a trillion dollars That should go to Our smartest people

Right there Boom Why don't they just make YouTube videos And shit Why don't they just They're hosting them Let's just invest

In action figures Like I did 45 million people Are immigrants Wow Imagine how much Better off we would be Without 50 million people are immigrants. Wow. Imagine how much better off we would be without 50 million people taking jobs. Right?

Wow. What kind of podcast is this? You're fired. We're going to hire somebody else. You can't, actually. There's nobody else. So have a little more money. I think diversity is our strength, Dick.

The more people we bring in, the bigger the melting pot grows. Except when it's with your, like, jack-off cartoons. Then you don't want any diversity. No. Just big, booby, naked anime ladies. I think I talk about this on the show, though. It is very hilarious to see the New York response to the immigration

crisis. We're gonna die. Well, two years ago, they went, as the Statue of Liberty says, send us your teeming masses. And two years later they're like, look at all these fucking teeming masses! This sucks! I fucking hate teeming masses! This is horrible. Why didn't someone tell us

that it was gonna go like this? Will you masses stop teeming for two fucking seconds? It's crazy. I think I just got triggered seeing all the people saying, well, we want the hardworking people. Why? That's the last people. Send the fucking lazy people.

They're not going to do anything if they have to sleep on the fucking street. The hardworking people are going to go vote. It is a problem. But it will be solved through old-fashioned American ingenuity as we just integrate them into our way of life. We. Here's we. We. Like we pedophiles. No, not like we pedophiles.

You will do nothing. You will do absolutely nothing. If they watch my videos, they'll join the culture and they'll hate the marvels just like a red-blooded American should. We need more immigrants here to upvote my videos in an IP address that Google recognizes for ad revenue. Yes. And to retweet my controversial invincible tweets. There you go. There's more immigration

right there. That whole show is an anti-immigration show. I was streaming recently and I was like having a little metal breakdown where I'm like, I don't live a real life. I'm like trying to make, I make money shitting on the internet and playing video games and just hoping to God that i'm

entertaining for at least half a second so someone feels guilty enough to sign up to my patreon this is a terrifying fucking lifestyle i produce nothing of value yeah i'm a i'm an idiot yeah and uh that's why i don't care immigrants doigrants, do whatever you want, because I can't tell you how to live your life. H-1B workers paid 40% less than American employees. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. And they work in, let me see, service industry jobs, construction and maintenance, production, transporting material.

Not complaining about comics on YouTube, though. So I guess you don't, obviously, you don't fucking care. Yeah, what do I care? It's got nothing to do with me. One day, one day, one day a man

who breaks his back working and building things will make less than you. And on that day, you will care. When that day happens, we're already getting there. Manual, no, no, no.

We're already getting there. We're No, no, no. We're already getting there. We're already on the way. You can't copy software, right? You can't run your own bank. You wouldn't download a car, Dick. You would. They make it illegal, but you can copy people. I would download a gun.

That's my problem. So Dick, who lives in the real real world is all worried about immigration. For the rest of us who are having fun in the internet land. It's fucking over, man. 10% every year. You're talking to an audience of Zoomers all live at home and just waiting to die. These people actually work. In our audience?

In our audience, yes. They have real jobs. That would be a good poll. Do you have a job? Or are you a veto file? Are you a Crimsel who apparently refuses to get a job? How are you doing, Crimsel? I know nothing about that other than we get constant super chats to ridicule that guy.

I find it kind of funny. Crimsel, get a job. Well, speaking of important problems that are facing today's working man, my problem is waiting for the next season of your favorite animated show. I don't know if you've... Invincible? Invincible. Four episodes. Yeah. And now

we gotta wait for the other half of the season, which will not come out until 2024. Oh, no! You didn't know that, did you? No, they're trying to do a South Park thing? They're doing a South Park thing. So we're getting half the season, and then we've got to wait until next year. They haven't even told us what month. It might be the end of next year we're going to get the final four seasons,

or final four episodes of this season. I wish they'd have just ended it after one season. And said, go read the comics, fuck you. Just said, like, that's it. That's it. He made Omni-Man cry, and now it's over. Spoilers. Yeah, that's perfect.

It's done. Well, this seems to be Omni-Man cry, and now it's over. Spoilers. Yeah, that's perfect. It's done. Well, there seems to be a problem that hits a lot of animated shows, and I don't... You think it'll hit AlphaCore? I think, well, I don't know what's going to happen. If AlphaCore gets an animated series... I'll eat my own dick. No, I think... I think Glenn Beck is starting a TV network or something.

Like his own stupid... He's starting a stupid Daily Wire Plus thing. Was that what he meant by, I want to become Jewish? Yeah, I think so. Did you see that? He says, I wish I was Jewish, because then I would be running a TV station, I'm pretty sure. I guarantee that Eric's plan... I fucking hate these people so much.

First of all, I don't think Eric actually cares about comic books. I think he read some Spider-Man comic books and then realized he could make money talking about them. And it was more profitable than talking about whatever libertarian bullshit he actually cares about. But I think he, like everyone, wants to make a cartoon.

Everybody wants a cartoon, baby. Okay. And I think he could trick Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck has a lot of money just sitting around. Nobody has this much money for a cartoon. You keep saying that, but. It's like a million dollars. A million dollars an episode.

Let's say they make it shitty and it's 25 grand a minute for a whole season. How much is it? You think he's doing 22-minute episodes? Just clutch cargo it. He's not going to do episodes? Just clutch cargo it. He's not going to do it. Just clutch cargo it. Just have the AlphaCore guy. Fuck!

How do we not have an AlphaCore guy with just a fucking mouth? That's what we need. Let me get the helmet guy. Go get the helmet guy and cut out his mouth. Hey, would this be funny? What if we got someone with Down syndrome to wear ISOM shirts? AlphaCore shirts and ISOM shirts. No, that's so bad. We can't do that. Is that funny

or not? Let me put a vote. I think that's a little over the edge to get retarded guys to wear. Why? We're just giving them cool merch and comics. Let's donate them. Pay them, I'll take them to the zoo. Let's donate a bunch of ISOM comics and they can all hold them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, I can get that stuff at a steal. Yeah, we can get ISM for like five bucks. Let me start a poll on that. We just donated 100 copies of ISM to St. Mary's Home for the Intellectually Disabled. And look at how excited they are. Is that funny or too far? It's too far. Let me see.

Funny. Too far. Let me see. Funny. Too far. St. Mary's home for the medically infirm loves ice. Yeah. They're all drooling in their hospital beds. I got to put Ripaverse on because it's not. Okay. No, because otherwise you get Alpha Core fucking medical supplements or whatever. what were you saying i was saying he could clutch cargo that would be

the way to do it um oh man what would you do concentrate on your problem my problem is blocked from okay okay you're blocked by eric well the point is with these animated shows sometimes you go nuts waiting for the next season to come around. Rick and Morty has had up to a two-year gap. There was a two-year gap between seasons three and four. If you're a fan of Venture Brothers, as I am, it was like pulling teeth. That show has been going on since I was in high school. And there's like two-year gaps between seasons.

And, man, sometimes. And now they aren't even letting them finish it out. We had to wait like three, four years to get the movie which came out. South Park, you used to get 10 episodes every season. Now you're only getting six episodes a season. So even though the speed, like they're still doing a season a year, we've lost four episodes. Yeah. Yeah, but we made that one special or whatever.

Yeah, but the special's only like an hour long. It doesn't take that much extra effort to do the special. I feel like we're getting gypped. We're getting gypped. It doesn't take that much extra effort to write a whole special. How long is the special? Like an hour? It's like a movie.

That Pandiverse special was not that good. No, I hated it. It had a good premise, but ultimately all the people are going, oh my god whatever It's just like the same They fucking roasted Disney man They fucking roasted them The only part that was like funny was having

A fat black Female Cartman That's pretty good And that should have just been the whole episode honestly The rest of it was like Then for you anime fans out there attack on titan between seasons one and two you had a 3.5 year wait that's crazy meanwhile for fans of the anime bleach which never adapted the final arc of the manga that is finally happening it has been

10 years since bleach finished its anime run and only now are they going to animate that final arc. I don't know what it is about animation. Obviously, it's a laborious process. It takes time to make these shows, which is why if we get an AlphaCore show, it's probably going to take a million years. And by the time it comes out, we'll all be dead. How about Back to the Future 2? Remember that? What?

How long that? It took forever to come out. Did it? I wasn't around when Back to the Future 2 came out. I was. We were like edging right up to the Future 2. Remember that? What? How long? That took forever to come out. Did it? I wasn't around when Back to the... When did Back to the Future 2 come out? I was. We were like... Like 92?

Edging right up to the theater, waiting in line to buy tickets. Come on. Come on. Come on. They were cock-teasing us, right? Yeah. Everybody was so excited for Back to the... Fuck the future, man.

We gotta see what the future's like. But wait. Was Back to the Future 1... I know it was like a big movie, but like... Yeah, it was big. Do people anticipate that it was gonna be like a big movie, but like, do people anticipate that it was going to be like a franchise? I guess one ends, but does one did not have that, did one always have that scene?

It did. Where Dad goes, we got to go to the future. So they were, they were like hinting at it. Well, they just like threw that on. But then the actress changed, right? The one who played Marty's girlfriend. I didn't notice at all when I was a kid because I was an idiot. I think we all were kids.

You can't tell the difference between white ladies with fucking... I still can't. We all kind of seem the same. I still watch those movies and go, is this a different actress? Are you sure? I can't see her tits in that 80s out, in that 80s jean vest. They also famously got a guy who looked like... Who played the dad?

Who played George McFly? George Pappard. No, that's not correct. They famously got a guy who looked. Was it? No, it wasn't Kirk Cameron. I think it was. Oh, you're an idiot.

What are you looking for? I'm looking for George McFly actor. Crispin Glover. It was Crispin Glover. Did you know that and you were just fucking with me? I always do that. When people are looking stuff up, I make them go all the way through typing it out. And then I try to time it so right when it loads, I say it.

Crisp and Glover famously did not want to return for Back to the Future 2. So they found a guy. I think they made him wear a Crisp and Glover mask or something. Really? And then Crisp and Glover sued them saying, well, you can't just use my fucking face. And actually won that lawsuit. So, that kind of set some precedent, which is fascinating. All I'm saying, guys, is that I can't believe we got to the end of Invincible Season 4,

or Episode 4, Season 2, Episode 4. I was all excited. I'm like, I can't wait to see where this goes. It just sucks, man. I'm tired of listening to Mark cry about his dad. Yeah. You're such an asshole. It's like, bro. I mean, he's still dealing with it. It just sucks, man. I'm tired of listening to Mark cry about his dad. Yeah. You're such an asshole. It's like, bro.

I mean, he's still dealing with it. It just happened. It's only been a year in the universe. I don't like seeing proactive, good dads being pilloried on television. I didn't like it when Breaking Bad was when they beat him up for no reason, for just being an entrepreneur. Being a great dad.

Dealing with his retarded kid. When his crippled kid yelled at him for making all that money. Yeah, and I don't like it. And killing his cop uncle, which he should thank him for, because he was a cop. That was the best part of it. Not only a cop, but a DEA agent. The kind of cop that only pursues drug crimes.

The worst, most evil person in the history of the world. A DEA agent. I'm sitting there going, what the fuck are people? Why are people upset about this? This is more misogynist than a man having his dick ripped off on television by Susan B. Anthony. I feel like Dick should have a TV blog because his takes on all these shows is always... I remember the BoJack Horseman take you had where you're like, no, the show's great because the ending, he hasn't learned anything and he's still an asshole.

Yeah. I think you have a point there somewhat. Well, which part though? What is wrong? Omni-Man is obviously 100% correct. And a good dad. Why is he 100% correct? Like, they live for thousands of years.

Yeah, so everyone is insignificant. And they're just, like, horrible and, like, trash. Well, I gotta say, the reaction to my Invincible tweet, I was kind of like, you know what? Our nation, our species is pretty fucking stupid. Yeah. That I'm going, hey, what if you could have a baby who would live forever and have crazy powers? I didn't say it in a weird way. I said this.

Oh, fuck. Wait, I forgot to do this thing. I said this dumb lady, this stupid, idiotic, fucking whore of a woman should submit to the superior Viltrumite seed, cast aside her aspirations, and be a fucking spawning bed for the next generation of alien superiority. And for some reason, people... Oh no, it did the background too! Fuck! Just pull it up a little bit. This? No, no, no no I need it to be correct Alright

And for some reason people took issue with that Even though I was completely correct All I know man is South Park kind of sucks now Yeah And I'm tired of like waiting for it And then you watch the six episodes And you go oh those weren't that good.

And then that Pandiverse comes out, and everyone pretends. Again, it's more cognitive dissonance. It's because they've been waiting for South Park to come back so much. Yeah. And also because it says shit they like, like, fuck Kathleen Kennedy. Just take the fucking whatever. I'm trying to get the fucking right color. What is the right color here?

That's fine. Okay, the green. Yeah. Yeah. How do I pick it? No, but you need to get the fucking right color. What is the right color here? That's fine. What is it? Okay, the green. Yeah. Yeah? How do I pick it? No, but you need to make the background something else. I'm not making the whole background of this jackass. Look at this green.

This really bright green. The problem is his helmet's green. But I can only pick this color. Look. Watch. No, you can change the color. You can change the key color. But how do I pick this color exactly?

Select color. Okay. How do I get that one? Oh, fuck, there's no fucking color picker I fucking see, I told you Okay, well just sit, hold on, you have the similarity at one So get it to something close Then hit okay Now turn the similarity up, keep going

See, it all goes at once Okay, cause the background's Oh, I'm gonna fucking lose it! No, no, do not. No, you do not do it. Hold on. Is this the image? You're going to fuck it up.

Is this the image? Yes, that's the image, yeah. How do I save it? I never would have thought of that. I know you wouldn't because you're a fucking idiot. All right? So now just do that. Now you know how to do it.

Now you do it then. Well, I don't know where the image is because now the image isn't there. It's right here. You just have the similarity turned up too high. Okay, well, now- Okay. Okay, now how to do it. Now you do it then. Well, I don't know where the image is because now the image isn't there. It's right here. You just have the similarity turned up too high. Okay. Now make it that thing. Well, I don't know how to pick that. Okay. I got it. Fucking there. Well, because I know it has it.

Okay. Hit it. Wait, wait, wait. Let me do it. Wait, wait, wait. I would have never thought to do that. Hold on. The amount of effort we've put in. You're almost there. There we go. Wait, which one am I supposed to be facing? Yeah, right there.

Right there. Did you bang my comic? Hey, AlphaCore guy, whose name I don't actually know and I need to look up. It's Retardo. No, it's Ricky Retardo. It's not Ricky Retardo. My name is Ricky Retardo. No, it's Ricky Retardo. It's not Ricky Retardo. My name is Ricky Retardo. Ricky.

Well, are you excited that you're finally getting your first Alpha Corps adventure, Ricky? Oh, yay! I'm so excited! So you got your helmet on so you don't get hurt? I got my helmet! I'm so excited for you, Ricky. I know, I know, I know.

I'm so excited. Did the other members of Alpha Corps... Do you have any retarded Americans in your comic, Lee, though? No, there's no retarded people in my comic. Maybe someday. That is too bad. A retarded guy's writing it, though. Well, a retarded guy's writing Alpha Corps. Oh, that's not very nice.

That's not nice. That's horrible. Well, Ricky, I mean, what sort of adventures will you and the Alpha Corps be going on? You know my superpowers, yeah? No, what are your superpowers? Helmet, number one. Helmet is a good power, okay. That's right.

You could hit me in the head with a rock. Right. Or a two-by-four. Yeah. Or even a horse could kick me in the head. That would be totally unscathed. That's something superheroes have to deal with a lot. A lot of horses running around.

Any amount of stairs you have, I could go up or down without any sort of problem because I have this helmet. Yeah. No matter what the stairs are, it will not be an obstacle for you. Even if the stairs are slippery, I could go up and down. at the slippery. I could go up and down. Well, I saw that perhaps the Alpha Corps I've seen you facing off against Yaira.

Is that an exciting... Oh, she makes me feel silly. She makes you feel silly. My silly amias. Well, you gotta keep that quiet, Ricky. If you feel that way, you need to, I don't know,

deal with that in a private location. So I have a question. Was she the same girl that was in the second issue? Was she the same girl that's like with Abraham Lincoln? She was in the basement at some point. I forget if she was with Lincoln. What's a basement? Like into Alamo?

Yaira briefly appears disguised. You know what? I thought it was my favorite comic because I like what Eric G. Lai is doing. I like that he's criticizing comics. Right. And then he put his money where his mouth is. He put his money where his mouth is. And he's making his own whole comic universe.

I can't wait to see the cartoon. Because cartoons are too woke and gay. Yeah. Don't you think so, Vito? I bet you love it, though. I hate all the wokeness and the gay stuff, and I'm so excited. They're making Froot Loops gay. Did you know that?

Are Froot Loops becoming gay? Is that happening? Yeah, the prize is you pull out a big cock. Well, Ricky, I don't know if that's happening. And that fucking Wabbit says. I think somebody pulled a prank on you or something. Oh, what do you mean? Was there a big dick in your trick cereal?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, that's not good, Ricky. Somebody at the home is fucking around. It came pre-milked. There's milk in your cereal to begin with? My problems came pre-milked. I think the rest of the Alpha Corps might be fucking with you, Ricky.

Pre-milking them? What is that that you're drinking there? Some kind of a sugar water? It's 10 calories in the prime. It's the same color. Why don't you try some no calories? It's only 10 calories, Ricky. What are you, retarded?

No, I'm not retarded, Ricky. All right? Okay. Well, I hope you and the Alpha Corps go on some exciting adventures. Me and Wonder Woman? Green Wonder Woman? And green Buzz Cut from Beavis and Butthead, but he has muscles as the other guy, my friend.

Yeah, you guys are all buddies, I guess. Someone told me the most exciting thing about you is that we don't know anything about you yet, you know, that you're kind of a mysterious- I'm keeping it hidden. I have lumps all in my head like a golf ball from getting hit in the head so much. We've learned you're mentally handicapped, which is exciting. Oh, actually, mentally specially abled. Specially abled hero.

Oh, well, that's exciting. I could read at an Eric July level, though. Wow. That's somewhere between first and twelfth grade, and I'll let you figure out your own number exactly that it is. Maybe you can run fast as well.

You know, he's a big runner. What'd that mean? That's when, you know, he's a track runner. He runs around the track. I can run pretty fast. I'll tell you. Yeah. Well, you can run.

You can read. And you have a helmet. I already know more about you than I know about Isom based on those three things alone. I put my helmet on when I'm reading as well in case I get lightheaded and fall over. Well, of course, ISOM number one is now available from the Ripiverse website. It's on sale, right? Well, no, it's not on sale, is it? It's not on sale, no.

All the merchant shit is on sale, though. There's a 30% off Black Friday discount on all ISOM-related merch. Or all Ripiverse-related merch. Or all Ripperverse-related merch. You think Glenn Beck's going to put it on his network? I don't know, Ricky. Look at me with my mouth open from the guy up there. You think Glenn Beck's going to put it on his network? Maybe Glenn Beck wants an AlphaCore series.

It could be the parallel economy. You know what, AlphaCore number two, I get a pet bunny rabbit. Wow. Be very careful with this. Massage it. What do you mean? No, Ricky, you got to be careful with that rabbit. He's got a helmet, too.

The bunny's got a helmet, too. Please don't pet that bunny too hard, Ricky. You're setting yourself up for failure. This is going to be a... I got the mouth looking right. Do you think Eric Geliath has read Mice and Men? I don't think Eric Geliath has read the title of Mice and Men. He probably got a headache at the of, like I do.

Oh, my head. I need my reading helmet. My head hurts. Now that we know that you share the intellectual level of Eric July, maybe we can go to you for certain insights as to his writing process. Don't you think my helmet's cool? What do you think? It's very cool.

Why would I even have a helmet like this with big ski goggles? It's like I'm flying a helicopter, but actually I'm just flying around my own human. I don't know. Have you ever seen a superhero with a big fucking helmet like this? Because I haven't. Yeah, I was going to say, you know, like this makes sense for like a Mega Man who's like a robot, you know? Yeah, maybe I'm a Mega Man. What do you think about that?

Maybe you're a Mega Man. Are you a Mega Man? Fucking idiot. You don't know shit. I could be a Mega Man. You're a retarded green Mega Man. I'm twice a Fucking idiot. You don't know shit. I could be a mega man. You're a retarded green mega man. I'm twice a mega man. You are.

Wow. I like your cool jacket and your regular pants. Have you thought about upgrading your superhero outfit to be maybe a little more super in any way? Yeah, I thought about it. Okay. You know? What might you add to accent your current wardrobe? Like some tights or something, you're saying?

Like a fairy boy? Like a super, come on. I like looking like a Vietnam War veteran. Well, that's kind of what I get from you. Isn't that an interesting backstory? I mean, I guess, wouldn't a Vietnam War, wouldn't you be like 60 or 70 at this point? Black don't crack, baby. Black don't crack.

Not even retarded black don't crack. Are you related to Isom Knox? That's the big question. Yeah. Oh, you are? Okay. Yeah. Is there any other gravestones of Eric Gilles' family?

I used to tap that ass. You used to tap who? Isom? No, no Isom was a strong heterosexual man I'm sure. We didn't have terms like that back in the day So you're a former You're a former

I don't know what you are, but we love you Thank you for coming by, Ricky That was Ricky Retardo from the AlphaCore comic. I'm Ricky Retardo, everyone. Check out my comic book called AlphaCore, written by Chuck Dixon. Wow. At least you got to work with the great Chuck Dixon. Drawn by Chuck Dixon.

All right, Ricky. Right? Because a woman. I got there. Yeah, you got it. Okay, Ricky. Thank you so much. And they say I'm retarded.

People listening to the podcast hate those bits. Well, they've got to tune in for the visuals. Excuse me, Redditors. Redditors. Who listen to the show hate those bits. Well, we don't listen to the Redditors. I hate Redditors. I wish they would all get hit by a tractor or something.

Well, Dick, I'll tell you. I'm waiting for the next season of Invincible, and I'm very excited for the first season of Alpha Corps. Four episodes? Yeah, it's bullshit. Give me a fucking break, man. It's a cock tease. It's a cock tease and a half. And they wasted all that time making that Adam Eve, like, interstitial thing,

which was not even that good. They didn't even show her tits. And they made her a kid. And they made her a kid! And they made her a kid. Have her as an adult lady. The worst thing about any woman is learning about her childhood. Yes.

So they made a whole, they took the hottest girl on the show and made her whole childhood thing about her. And her childhood was just, she's a super lady. Who then got adopted by a just, she's a super lady. Who then got adopted by a regular. It's not even an interesting. No.

Whatever. Well, Dick, that's my problem. You got one more? Yeah, it's not enough leftovers. Not enough leftovers? We had enough leftovers for Thanksgiving for like one turkey sandwich, maybe a turkey sandwich and a half. Wow, you got fucked. I took a bunch of ham from Josh Denny's house. I don't know what happened. I don't know if my dad's hoarding

turkey or something, but like none. I'm going to call up Carl and ask if there's any more of that ham. Well, we didn't have any ham. What did you guys have, turkey? Turkey. Maybe I'll make some ham next year. Make some ham. Make a ham.

Ham's great. Maybe I'll do that. I had a great group of... I had a great bunch of leftovers. Hanging out. Josh Denny and Carl. You're name dropping a lot. Is it name dropping? Josh Denny is like the host of the Food Network.

I want people to check out... Him and Carl do a great sports show. They were showing me their clips. We have terrible thumbnails, but the clips are good. You can find them on YouTube. And hanging out with a bunch of black gentlemen who are all smoking the reefer, as people tend to do. People? Yes, all sorts of people.

White, black, and in between. Everyone loves the weed. Anyway, these gentlemen were so high, or faded, as they call it in their community, that uh... White people say faded. Well, don't black people not say that as well? I thought that was a black idiom that white

people latched onto. Oh, maybe. Sounds too cool for something for white people to come up with. Anyway, shut up. Speaking of leftovers, everybody's they have a certain style that I appreciate. That Miles come up with. Anyway. Okay. Shut up. Speaking of leftovers. Oh, cool. Everybody's they have a certain style that I appreciate. That Miles Morales, a much better Spider-Man

than white bread Peter Parker. Yeah, I don't get the whole Miles Morales thing. He's fucking Spider-Man. They just want him to not be called Spider-Man and that's it and for some reason it makes them really angry that he's called Spider-Man. I'm like, well, what do you want to call him? Just Black Spider-Man? Like, you come up with a better name.

Yeah, that's Venom. I was going to say you could name him, like, Venom Spider, and I'm like, no, because then it's Venom. I'm like, I don't know what else you'd call a spider guy. Why don't you guys just, like, get a job? You want to call him Webmaster? Would you be happy if it was called Webmaster? That sounds, that's a terrible name.

Yeah. Black Web. That's not bad. You always got to put Black, though, when it's a black superhero, and then it's too obvious. Like Blade? Yeah, like Black Blade. Black Blade? Should have been called.

Wesley Snipes. Black Blade. Black Blade. The Black Blade. Yeah, I don't know what's going on at that point. The point is, speaking of leftovers, everybody's enjoyed the meal. There's still some food left over. And this gentleman said, I want an ice cream sandwich.

And of course we said, ice cream sandwich? Well, that's good. What are you going to go to? The corner store? Get yourself one of those? Liquor store? Whatever it is. Pick up one of those roses in a glass vial. I'm not making those assumptions about this gentleman. He said, no. What does that mean?

There's ice cream in the freezer. And I said, okay, well that's just ice cream. How are you going to transform that into an ice cream sandwich? He said, well, there's... Just put it on some cookies. Yeah, put it on some cookies. There were no cookies, unfortunately. Go get some cookies.

He said, well, no. I have the ice cream. And then, of course, there are these leftover bread rolls that are here. So what I can do is slice a bread roll in half and put ice cream on it. And that, of course, and put ice cream on it and that of course is an ice cream sandwich. Is this part of the black eyes being cool that you're saying? No, this was black eyes being high.

Check it out. Bread roll with ice cream all over it. Carl starts fucking it up because he's like, you are not putting ice cream on a bread roll and I'm like, you motherfuckers shut the fuck up. A dude's about to eat ice cream on bread. That's hilarious. Don't say anything.

So I had a huge argument about it. I said, you don't understand. You don't understand. I'm not going to just put ice cream on bread. Okay. I'm like, oh, okay, good. He goes, we're going to cut it in half, put a little butter on it and toast it and then put ice cream on bread. And I went, well, that just makes perfect sense to me.

That's leftovers right there. And I went, well, that just makes perfect sense to me. That's leftovers right there. So I watched a black guy toast a roll, put butter on it, put a bunch of vanilla ice cream in the middle, and just eat it like a psychopath while watching Invincible. And I went, well, that's Thanksgiving for you. That's one of those classic, how can you not love? You know how black people are always giving white people shit for, you know, we don't use enough spices.

We don't know how to cook. Yeah, that's got a good point. Whenever I think of black people giving white people shit, it's said they don't use enough spices. Yeah, that's part of it. And I think they're right because I had never thought once in my life after Thanksgiving dinner. Bread's not a spice though.

To take a piece of bread. He put butter on it and he toasted it. It's not a spice. There's a little bit of flavor there. Okay, but that, you know, he could have, look, point is that these are a people of many

wonderful cuisines and... What? Jerk chicken? Jerk chicken, yes. What else? Collard greens, of course. Chitlins. I was gonna say chitlins. was going to say chitlins. You were going to say chitlins. But racially.

What else do black people like? They're experts at mac and cheese, I've heard. It's not really their invention, however. Dirt cookies. I've watched some documentaries about that. Buddy, come on. Ribs. Fucking barbecue.

I mean, they're making a lot of good jambalaya. A lot of pork-related dishes. They have mastered the pig. I'll give them that. Sometimes I watch those documentaries where it's just an old- You let a black guy eat a bread ice cream sandwich just to laugh at him and tell the story on your white people podcast? I did. I did.

That's fucking- That's twisted. Carl, shut the fuck up and let him do it. This is going to be hilarious. It's twisted. And then at one point, I think he got tired of the bread, so he was just eating the ice cream out of the bottom half of the

bread like a bread bowl. It was an ice cream bread bowl. Nobody had cookies for this fucking guy? No, there was no cookies. There was pie! I don't know why you didn't just eat pie. Josh Denny's gonna be pissing you for telling this story about Thanksgiving that you're, like, using for your plow. I know, he's really anytime I go over and I have a fun time, I'm not allowed to talk about it.

No, me and the, what do you call it? As long as I promote him. Who was this guy? Oh God, I forget his name. I think his name, no. One guy's name was Aloe. And I'm like, like the fucking like, you know, the plant that you make like medicine out of. But I didn't ask him that.

I assume it's spelled differently. How's the guy's name? Aloe. Anyway, I think Aloe was, he might've been the one who was eating a ice cream sandwich. An ice cream sandwich. Maybe it's his nickname because he's always getting burned or something. Josh wasn't even in the room. Josh missed this.

Okay. So if anyone gets to be mad at me, it's Carl. But Carl had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Josh had a fantastic Thanksgiving as well. All right. Not enough leftovers. I Carl had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Josh had a fantastic Thanksgiving as well. Alright. Not enough leftovers. I still have some leftovers from that though. Well because the amount of leftovers I have is like I feel bad right when I... I want to have

like a whole Tupperware of turkey where I can just go, oh, in the middle of the night yeah, fuck this. Dude, you should have came over, man. They make so much food. Next year, swing by. What time did you guys get back? Like 10, and then I went right to bed.

Yeah, fair enough. There's kids up there, and there's all kinds of stuff. I love Josh Denny, Carl Thanksgiving. This is my second year eating their food. They just love to cook. Josh Denny was on the Food Network. He loves cooking. Oh, he made this gnocchi with Italian sauce. They make so much shit. I'm like, what Oh he made this gnocchi with like Italian They make so much shit

I'm like what the fuck is this gnocchi and deviled eggs How come you don't cook you're Italian I was going to and I made biscuits and they came out terrible And they're in my car do you want a shitty biscuit No Maybe you throw some ice cream in there I might throw some ice cream on top You don't cook though you're supposed to be Italian

You don't cook for shit Cause I got the timing wrong You don't just have like a You're supposed to be Italian. You don't cook for shit. You don't ever cook anything. Because I got the timing wrong. What do I do? Because Wednesday, I was up. You don't just have a natural knack for it, though. I like to cook. I just don't make time for it. And my kitchen sucks.

I have a tiny kitchen. There's no room for pots and pans and shit. If I had a nice kitchen like yours, you got a big kitchen island and everything. I need room for all the ingredients and shit. How much room do you need for a little bit of like a cup of flour And some cumin I was like rolling out the biscuits I didn't even have enough room I have a tiny little fucking cutting board

It all sucks Well that's too bad I need a big Italian kitchen And I need time of course to take my razor blade And razor blade the garlic No I'm not gonna do that I got a mandolin slicer for the garlic. Are you a garlic boy?

You like garlic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a little mandolin slicer though? I just eat it by the handful. No, I don't know. I slice it up in these little tiny... I love it. I don't know. I have some kind of thing where you squish it through and it comes out. You do the garlic press. Yeah, it slices it too. Wait, it slices

it? Yeah, you go slices it. So you have like a vegetable slicer? It's like a little thing where you go it slices it. Yeah.

This one, I think my way is better. Okay. Look at this guy. Yeah. Wow. Biggest problem. Thank you for the

Black Pac-Man. Stop calling him Black Pac-Man. He's Chogunkin. I don't think I'm allowed to say that. Look, he's riding him. I know. You fucking love that.

Pac-Man inside of a Pac-Man. It's a Pac-Man inside of a Pac-Man. That's cool. You saw you can also put him on the front of the base there. It's got a little, you can put his feet there. Oh, I can put Pac-Man out front. If you want a little Pac-Man in the front, not riding in it. I might do that later tonight.

You're going to throw that thing out. No, no, no. I'll keep it in here with these toys. Put it up with all the other tchotchkes. With Sergeant Slaughter. We have the gay Sergeant Slaughter. Sergeant Fred Slaughter. Guys, yeah.

What about Ricky the Retard? I hope he gets to be... I hope he's the star of the Alpha Corps. I think he's the secret ringer. Because you can't see his eyes. He's mysterious. How do you design a character with just a green jacket and a fucking gray t-shirt? Come on.

It's cool, man. Look at that. It looks like shit. They all look like shit. His pants are all baggy. The lady with the- Okay, I'll say this. The cyber whips at least are something on the lady.

Oh, yeah. She's got green cyber whips. Yeah. What's the black guy got? He doesn't even have a gun or something. He should have, just make him, just make him. He's got this jacket. Just make him a black Mega Man.

It's cold in Flores Park. Yeah, in Texas. Yeah, it's cold. Is he in charge of data analysis? Is he going to figure out all the data analysis that they've been slow on? Yeah, that Valdez has been. Did Chuck Dixon figure out an entire story of AlphaCorp figuring out their data analysis issues? Poor Chuck Dixon.

I'm so glad that was in the trailer. We need to work on our data analysis, Flores. Or whatever your Valdez. Oh, God. People are asking us. I feel bad for the people that are supporting this shit, but I also hate them and wish that they got some kind

of a stupid cancer. I don't know what's going on. But I hope everybody enjoys everybody going, oh my God, he got Chuck Dixon, the creator of the Clinton Cash graphic novel. Well, just imagine if you got somebody like David Hyde Pierce to proofread your super killer. Who's David Hyde Pierce? You fucking with me?

No. Who is it? It's Niles from Frasier. Oh, if I got Niles to read it? Yeah. Or if you got, like, the producer for Joker's Wild or Joker's Joker's Joker's to give you some tips on Super Killer. That would be incredible. Well, I think my own notes are all I need.

We'll see. What the fuck is that? You read it. It's not bad. Ethan likes it. Ethan VanSkyver. All right. The creator of Green Lantern. Oh, yeah.

The creator of Green Lantern. Could the artists for the show please send in some fan art that's not horribly disgusting? I got my biggest problem shirt. I posted a picture of myself wearing it on my Instagram story. Just out of curiosity, I'm like,

I wonder if anybody's going to google that and have that become a reflection of you know my values because right now if you go to google biggest problem you find the website you look at the fan art and like gay percent of it is just horribly racist or pornographic how's it racist like half of them are isom having gay sex there's isom that's not racist super killer isom blowing veto black love i'm getting it in the butt from veto it is it is being uh there's of course a lot of um other uh super killers going on uh isom's neck like george floyd yeah a lot of veto yeah i got trouble for that one including one of him molesting like a tiny little cat girl that clearly looks about five years old.

Oh, yeah, that one's fucked up. Do we need to password protect the fan art page so normies can't find it? It's mostly just horribly disgusting. You need to put a not safe for work filter and default it to on or something because this is a bad reflection. That's not a bad idea. More fan art of me fucking cats and black men being victimized is what I'm hearing.

You don't know he's victimized. You're right. Rest in power. Or rise in power. I don't fucking know. I don't make the fan art, man. Is that how they do it now? They say rest in power. That was the worst part of the Spider-Man, the black Spider-Man movie.

They had that big mural of his uncle. Yeah. Who's a bad guy. It's like, well. Well. Yeah. Okay. But then they have the same mural for his dad, and his dad was dead.

The cop? Yeah, in the alternate universe. Who do you think is putting him in prison? All right. He's worse than the criminal. He's worse. Yeah. They got no heroes down there. Some of these cops are fine people, I'm sure.

Okay. All right. Anyway, we're not changing the fan art page, I assume. I had forgotten about that completely. You could put a toggle, I guess. For what? All the not safe for one, you got to click it to see all the fan art. I don't see how that helps. Why the fuck would you want to do that? No, it's going to click on the fan art page when you gotta like click it To see all the fan art I don't see how that helps

No one's gonna click on the fan art page And come see the show and if they go to the show They're gonna go to the list of the problems and like one of the top ones Is like I'm not allowed to do blackface Which I already had one guest be like So what is this show exactly And I'm like no no no it's like funny it's like a funny show It's not funny

What about this one I think we have a couple Jewish problems You know what I'm not even gonna talk about what problems are on. They're like, what about this one? I think we have a couple Jewish problems. You know what? I'm not even going to talk about what problems are on there. They're all great. Isn't anti-Semitism on there? So that's good. Yeah.

Yeah, we're a pro. What's it rated? What's it ranked? It's not doing that good. Is it positive or negative? I don't think anti-Semitism is negative. I hope it's not. Please vote up anti-Semitism so I can get more guests on this show.

That's a bad pitch. anti-semitism so i can get more guests on this show that's a bad pitch also if you would like to get biggest problem merch and horrify your family by having them stumble across the fan art page head over to killdozer.industries and buy yourself a biggest problem t-shirt okay and maybe a hat the biggest problem in the universe is themed apartments. I don't know who the fuck thought it was a good idea to put out fake little grain silos and fake little tiny patches of wheat fields outside of this fucking brand new apartment complex. Like, you think any of these fucking people are really so dumb

that they think that oh just wait is that true a bunch of perfectly good farmland and apartments that oh i'm gonna live in the majesty of old fake wheat fields in their apartment outside fake fucking bullshit fucking artificial fucking rural lifestyle fucking horse shit that guy should be fucking drawn and quartered. Whoever fucking designed that thing. Anyway, go fuck yourself, dicks. Kind of on theme. Some communities design themselves around a theme. So you're saying there's apartments that they're theming?

I think he means outside the apartment. Like the complex must be like welcome to Wonderland. I don't think that they have a fucking little private farm in every... Although that would be kind of cool if you went into your bedroom and there's like, Yeehaw, welcome to the fucking 100-acre farm. Yeah.

Like Garfield's friends, U.S. Acres, I mean. U.S. Acres, yeah. Yeah, horse and the fucking pig. Why is there no U.S. Acres-themed retirement community? It's like, okay, you guys have like a farm out here and there's a silo and stuff. Okay, cool. Let me see the apartment. It's like, okay, you guys have a farm out here and there's a silo and stuff. Okay, cool. Let me see the apartment. It's one bedroom. It's also a fucking farm in here, dude!

It's a fucking thing! Come on into the bathroom! You can take a shit in the field! Do like me! It's got an outhouse door that's all crooked. It's got the moon thing in it. Fuck it, I'm in. I'm in, man. This sounds wonderful to me.

I don't understand what we're griping about. You could do worse. You ever go to that little Dutch... Is that Hamas or no Hamas? A theme department? I don't know. Hamas or no Hamas? Let me put that out.

You ever go to that Dutch village that's on the way up the Pacific Coast Highway? Solving. Is that what it is? Yeah, that's what it is. You ever go there? The Pacific Coast Highway Solvang Is that what it is? Yeah that's what it is

You ever go there? Let me play like a Thing where Like a darkness Falls over me What does that mean Solvang is bad? Women

Love Solvang Fucking Solvang I like Solvang It was cute How many times Have you been there?

Just once Just one time I grew up in Valencia Yeah How many times have you been there? Just once. Just one time. I grew up in Valencia. Yeah. Which is close to Solvang. Yeah. Every year, my whole life.

Let's go to Solvang. Why don't you kill yourself? You get to enjoy all sorts of Dutch nonsense. I don't even remember. At like a candy store or something. Yeah. It's cute. They got cute stuff.

What was I doing? Oh, yeah. We need to do another poll. So that one's funny. It's funny if you give copies of Isomp to the mentally handicapped. Shirts. Shirts. Shirts that are too small.

So their stomachs. Yeah. Whatever. I'm going to do it. You're also going to make an ice on porn parody, so you've got a lot of plans. I got all the time in the world. I'm not making a comic. You've got to get it done before. I have all the time in the world because I am only a critic, so I'm only criticizing forever.

But wait, Dick, you're not putting your money where your mouth is, which is the worst possible thing that any critic can do. That's right, because your money is next to your asshole. Every movie critic is supposed to make movies for some reason. That's how it works. Yeah. You're good at criticizing movies. Why don't you make one? Well, it's kind of like the opposite.

Right. Like making something is the opposite of criticizing it. Right. So no. Well, a critic says, we know, the opposite of criticizing it. Right. So, no. Well, critics, as we know, serve no function in society. We've never needed any sort of critical output on anything. Yeah, yeah. Hey, this blender killed a bunch of kids.

Yeah, well, why don't you make a blender? Why don't you put your money where you... At least that guy... At least that guy was trying. At least the guy made a blender. Come on. You gotta respect him. This gun backfired and murdered my mother.

Well, how many guns have you made, asshole? None, probably. There you go. That gun was a non-woke gun. At least it wasn't woke. That's all that matters. These pit bulls are killing a lot of kids. Well, how many dogs have you bred to be fighting for no reason?

None. Asshole. i really fucking hate like there was even some guy was like i saw a review today that they were reviewing isom and it was all negative of course and he's like the dialogue doesn't make any sense and he's a british guy and i think i watched the same review you saw that it's like because you don't realize you have to read the dialogue in ebonics and then it doesn't make sense. And he's like, but I really respect what he's trying to do. Why? Yeah. Why?

Every charlatan and scumbag has at some point tried to make shit. You don't need to respect shit. If somebody just does something and it fucking sucks sucks you don't need to say well gosh i really respect that they tried to make something that's total shit now you say you fucking suck you tried and you did bad because you are bad never do it again i can respect it on the like most basic level of hey you tried to make a thing. You know, I'm going to say that's better than just sitting around and jerking off all the time. You know, like you try to make something happen. You could also have made other stuff.

You know, it's like it's the same level of like I went outside and planted a tree. It's like, all right, well, yeah, you did something, but I'm not going to treat it as a revolutionary act. So when you're out driving around and somebody's just driving bad. And just driving. Making a mess. Hitting people. Running people over. And you're like, you know what? I really respect that you're out here just doing.

No, you think, why don't you fucking kill yourself? Well, I guess if you plant the tree in a shitty way and kill a bunch of other trees, then yeah, maybe. Yeah, if you planted a tree like under the sidewalk. Like all of LA. Look, I support the spirit of creating. I like when people are trying to create. You're part of the fucking problem, man. I'm not going to give you some deep-seated

respect just for trying. I'm not going to treat it as a I think the problem is treating it as a revolutionary act. Where you're like, this guy made fun of Spider-Man for ten years. And then he made his own comic! And it's like, that's not... I mean, yeah, hey, good work for trying.

Put your little fucking comic. Because all these people are all so desperately insecure that they can't criticize being a creator as bad because they themselves are so insecure about doing anything. Well, that's what I also don't understand. We're not going to criticize each other for trying new things, right? It's like this unspoken agreement like well you know but you know making things is a cool and good a good try though right i don't understand wrong as i said i'm like shouldn't eric be happy anyone's

like critically discussing his work as if it matters in any way like i mean the fact that i'm you know i don't know whatever. I'm getting too down the weeds. What do you think? Women cops? Sure. Adam Eve? Did you see that video? That's your fucking biggest problem.

Four women trying to arrest that guy? Yeah, did you see that? I did see that. That's pretty great. He got away, didn't he? He did get away. It's four fat women cops. Somebody needs to set it to fucking yakety sex or something, though.

He's lucky he didn't get shot. Oh, God. Well, it seemed like itety sacks or something, though. He's lucky he didn't get shot. Oh, God. It seemed like it was in Britain or something. Were those American cops? They look pretty fat. They did look like American cops in that way. Two fat women? Four fat women.

Four fat women? Women cops. Pulled over and got a ticket for speeding in the school zone because i was going 45 in a 20 you want to know why because school's out there's no school this week oh so i got a ticket well for something that doesn't even matter and And I said, you realize school's out this week, right? And she says, that's not what this is about. When those lights are flashing, that's the speed limit.

This is not about the kids. And I'm thinking, you fucking cunt. It is exactly about the kids. So I have to go to fucking court because I doubled the fucking speed limit in a school zone. Fucking fantastic. That sucks. That's why every time I see those videos and it's like a guy gets pulled over for speeding. Yeah.

And then he has like a warrant out for his arrest. He starts shooting at the cops. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe he would do that. I'm like, that guy's such a fucking hero. Yeah. You should just shoot at the cops anytime. Well, I can't believe he would do that. I'm like, that guy's such a fucking hero. You should just shoot at the cops anytime. Well, I can't say that. You're saying it way worse than I'm saying it.

I just think if the cops had pulled him over because he killed a guy, I'd be like, okay, well, that's a good reason to pull him over. But they pulled him over for speeding. They should be punished in some way for wasting anybody's time. Yeah, but if you're at the point in your life like where that guy is, like he didn't sound like a teenager, right? He sounded like an adult man. Yeah, but he was driving his car and he's not thinking about it. If you're an adult man

and you think that because it's Thanksgiving break you can speed past a school and that you're not going to get pulled over for that, you're fucking retarded. Like if you're getting pulled over going, oh, I can't believe it because it's not a school.

Are you serious? You think that's going to save you? I don't know if he was thinking that far ahead, you know. I think it's more justifying it after the fact. Yo, wait a minute. This seems unreasonable. Okay, one more? Sure.

You're probably not going to play this one, but don't fucking say that, oh, well, doctors don't fucking give medications. I went to the doctor, dude, five minutes. Got Adderall. Left. That easy. Where? Normal doctor.

Not this weird, sketchy fucking L.A. shit you guys have either. Fucking lose the weight, badass. Wow. I'm going to need a Sour Patch Kid to spite you. Vito, you big, fat, retarded retard. What the fuck is this? Eve didn't turn that

apple into solid gold during the Adam Eve special. That was during one of the regular episodes. How do you expect me to buy a super killer and endorse you if you can't even get your shit right? Yeah, it was. Come on, Vito. Stop saying it was.

I know it was. I don't care. Do you want to win the weigh-in? Fucked it up. Do you want to feel good about yourself? No. Do you want to be a fucking champion? Okay.

Get your shit together. Think about what you're going to say before you say it. There's no more voicemails about me getting which episode of Invincible contains a plot point wrong. I don't find that valued. Just think about what you're saying. Okay. I listened to you a couple episodes

ago and Vito's talking about stabbing tires in a parking lot or whatever. One of the funniest things I've ever seen was uh Ah fuck it. I fucked it up Well what a voicemail Better luck next time

That's my favorite voicemail ever The guy was about to give me shit And then he couldn't even remember He fucking blew it Cause he's a fucking fan of this show And your whole fucking brain did Calling in to criticize me Guys get your super chats in now. We're going to read them.

Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show and join the Patreon to get all the bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggest problem. Guys, don't miss out on those bonus episodes. They are a hoot and a half. Also, get your killdozer, or get your super

fucking, get your biggest problem merchandise at killdozer.industries. It's a cool looking shirt now that I see it all printed out. Except for all the stains and stuff. Okay, I got a little something on it. I've got gravy on it or something. Well, it's like multiple stains.

There's one there. There's one down there. There's multiple ones even below that. All right. This is why I can't wear white t-shirts. There's one down there. There's multiple ones even below that. All right. This is why I can't wear white t-shirts. I'm a sloppy boy. Regardless, great shirt.

Okay. It looks good, though. Do I need to adjust it? Because you wanted me to fix parts of it. No, it's fine. Okay. Then I will just leave it up as is. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Cheese in my pockets. Velveeta for two says, free Josh Giddy. Ryan for five says, can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie? No. I cannot. Oh, I have my own mouse now. God, this mouse is so good.

How much was that mouse? It's like 20 bucks. How do you get a $200 mouse? Solid gold. Yeah, it should be. Okay, let's see. Koof for five. This year I'm thankful for all the fans out there having not killed themselves.

I have the sticker here. Was there any mail? Didn't I mention that? Oh, yeah, yeah. Keep reading. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Red for five.

If Isom can fly, then why can't he change the batteries in his smoke detector? Well, that's a cultural issue. Nom and I for two. Are they having the detector? Well, that's a cultural issue. Nomini for two. Are they having the gain? Okay, I know what you're doing. Dumb username for two. Tried to get me to say a slur. For two, Kurt Metzger would make a great Butch Killigan.

Yeah, Kurt Metzger sounds awesome. Reginald Von Vonderson for five. Vito getting the Adam 22's party had TBF awkward since he's retarded. Sarah Gardner for two. Vito, why are you fat and late? Well, I know I'm fat, but Dick's the reason we're late. Okay, this is from. This is the mail that I tried to look at and you yelled at me.

Yeah, this is from Uno. Okay. I think these are the same. So here. It's just like a lot of like schizo stuff. Okay. This is horrifying. I don't want this at all.

Please enjoy these zines. I spends minutes on. Okay. This is Angoromon. This looks like what I get before a guy comes to my house and stabs me. Tell Sean to call me back. No, I will not. Oh, this is a Digimon here.

Does that open up? Yeah, it opens up. No, I will not. Oh, this is a Digimon here. Does that open up? Yeah, it opens up. Here's a close-up. This is a close-up of Autistic Boobs. Well, don't show that. We're going to get... You think we're going to get dinged for that? How did he make a book here?

He just, look, he folded it all fancy. Rabbit God of... Okay. I like it. Criticized Isom. Please don't come to my house. This is terrifying. A tribute zine.

Cool. Okay. Mine has a little note that says, I live inside you. Non-racist. Pull up. Not like this. Depiction of Eric July. Oh, that's cool.

Well, thank you for the arts and crafts. What a create. You know what? I got to say, I really appreciate that he put his money where his mouth is. I saw him sex dick through a house. I've got a lot of little. At Vito Comedy, Italian funny cries. Not as funny, but still funny as a woman and bisexual.

Have you shown these to your therapist, perhaps? Maybe find out. They'd have some revisions to make. ISIS, sometimes funny. Is it woman and bisexual? Have you shown these to your therapist, perhaps? Maybe find out. They'd have some revisions to make. ISIS. Sometimes funny. Lovers of ice cream. That's the Taliban, bro. Couldn't pass a Bechdel test.

ISIS cream. It's got something about Israel here. Okay. Trademark fraud. Always Google the name of your book. Okay. Anal reviews. That's cool.

Thanks for this. By Ono. Okay. Keep reading those. It says, I don't fucking know what this was, but it was still better than I saw. Well, I can agree with that. I can definitely agree with that sentiment. Are you still going through the box?

MSG Enthusiast for $2.79 says, Way to be late. I'm very disappointed. Well, at least you super chatted. Red for two, late and gay flag. Look at that LGBT flag. Jameis for two, how many stones should we cast on Vito for this? 23.

ASC Presents for five says, Make super killer stickers, Vito. I can add those to the store. You can also add biggest problem Stickers to the store that's another thing We're gonna say guys Let me know we have I can add various merchandise To the store somebody suggested that

They don't want snapback hats they want Trucker hats dick what do you think You're more a trucker hat guy You're not a hat guy huh My head is too big. I can't wear any hats. I'll see if I can put up a trucker hat in the store. Laying steel for two.

Blocking lofty pixels. It's fun and it's free. Yes, block them. Joe Ray for 10. I would buy a trapezoid logo hat. I would love to see that. Thank you very much. I think it would compensate for the wraparound.

Just make it. Who fucking cares? A big weird upside down pyramid on your hat where people are going, what the fuck? Why is your hat like perspective? I think it would just add a little perspective. Justin, have you ever seen that? No, but maybe I'm the first guy to figure it out. Or maybe it's been happening subconsciously and I've never noticed it.

Oh, so that's like an industry technique. Maybe I figured out an industry technique that has never been covered before. What is that? Sticker? I'm trying to read it. Okay. There's a lot of stuff. Man, people are just sending us little schizophrenic packages all over the place. Full of tchotchkes and fingernail clippings and hair from their girlfriend.

Hey, Dick and Vito, here are some Eric July stickers, plus some extra stuff laying around the shop. Let me know if you guys need anything or have any requests. Allstarwraps.com. Allstarwraps. Oh, is that the guy who was going to help me wrap my car with a bunch of anime shit? These are great, actually. Let me see.

Look at this. Bunch of anime shit. These are great, actually. Let me see. Look at this. It's every frame of the, when Eric July got super chatted, what's Isam's superpower? Can he fly? I'm putting one of these on my car. You can't see it.

You've got to hold it in front of you. That's not focused. I don't fucking know. Here, look. Like that. I'm going to put this on my you. That's not focused. I don't fucking know. Here, look. Like that. I'm going to put this on my car. What's Isam's superpower? Can he fly?

Let's talk warehouses and warehouse-related things. Oh, yeah. These are great. Well, okay. Eric had a good time on that show. God, that was so... I really wanted him and Destiny to go at it, and, like, nothing happened on that show.

That show sucked. He's too stupid to make entertainment. Well, thank you for the stickers. All-star raps. You're going to help me put an anime waifu on my car if it's the same guy I'm thinking of. I'm excited.

Joe Ray wants the trapezoid logo. Justin Kent says, please sell tall-sized t-shirts. I don't know if they offer them. Whatever t-shirts I put up. That's hard, buddy. Yeah, that's like a different thing. I'll send you a logo if you want to make your own.

Print it. You are not allowed to do that. Well, I guess that's a good point. Oh, shit. Did my scroll wheel break on my perfect mouse? You probably have to click on the thing. No, it's broken for some reason. Ethan is losing weight and looking great,

says Sessron's fan club for five. Vito, you have no excuse. You're a sorry, lazy excuse. Much love to Dick, though. Thank you. Got it. Ethan does look good. I'm doing good. I'm feeling good.

Are you going to make it? Yeah. Look at you bouncing like a fucking bunny over there. The second best for five. Hey, Dick and Vito. What if we doubled it or nothing? Well, then do I got to pay the thousand if I don't make it? Yeah.

Triple or you pay a thousand. Or I got to pay a thousand and give it to the audience? Hamas. Hamas. I'd have to give it to the audience? Yeah, Hamas. I'd have to think about it. It'd be a good incentive. It'd spice up the show and then when I have to pay a thousand dollars I'd cry. I'm gonna get another crying

Vito episode. Yeah. My monies! There's no way you're gonna make it. There's no way you're gonna make the weigh-in. Wow. Impossible. Why don't you show a little bit of faith? Nah. make the weigh-in. Wow. Impossible. Why don't you show a little bit of faith? No. I still got a week.

Yeah. Look, man, if I can just make some progress, I'll be happy. You have a week. Shut the fuck up. There's no way you're going to do it. I've been trying, okay? Not hard enough? You waited until the last minute.

Obviously not hard enough. I know. To try at all. I've been trying. All that money's got to go back. I've learned some healthy habits, and I'm hoping the next three months are going to be infinitely better. You're going to fail the weight loss thing, and then you're going to shoot right back up. Shooting back to 310.

I'm going past it. If I don't make the weigh-in, that should be the punishment. I have to gain it all back. I just have to go eat at a buffet until it all comes back. Alright, this is... Somebody sent us, what, Hawaiian fun drinks? I don't know what this is, yeah. It's tasty.

I think this is to our show. Here, let me see. Give me the box. It doesn't, uh, does it say from Amazon? Well. Japanese sodas. Japanese japanese soda there you go all right very tasty soda this is a set do not separate nobody nobody put a you gotta put a little gift note in the box guys yeah second best for five says dick and vito i just made 2k off crypto can you all say something about positive about crypto so it can manifest some good vibes for all? I hope you get addicted to heroin off that money you just won. I think you should donate it to me for trying so hard.

At the Vito Loses site? Yeah, well, no, just give it directly to me for trying my best. Nah, put it at VitoLoses.com. Yeah, then you get double. Hey, if you guys want to just fuck with Vito, go to VitoLoses.com and put a bunch of money on there. Don't do that. Because there's no chance he's going to win it.

There's no chance. If it just goes up to $10,000, I'm just looking at it. Whatever you put on there, he's not going to win because there is no chance that he's making the way in. Okay, well, that would actually hurt pretty bad. So go there. You could go to Vito veto loses.com and put 30 000 and it doesn't matter and it doesn't matter you're getting it right back in usdc it's not even

crypto it's us dollar coin money they put up 10k i would just work out for like 24 hours physically it's physically impossible for veto to lose the amount of money that he has to lose impossible and he won't even do it, even if he could. Thanks for the vote. Put $100,000 up there. I've lost some weight. That's good. What can we focus on that's positive?

Look, yes, but I've gained new perspectives on fitness. I didn't even know you could lose weight before now. And I've been doing some weightlifting, so I probably put on some muscle there that's offsetting it. Oh, yeah. Okay. The allegation is that, oh, sorry. From Drunken Atheist Studio 5, the allegation is Charlie Sheen banged Corey Haim on the

set of Lucas in Glen Ellyn, Illinois. I'm going to make a true crime video about it because it's local. Well, there you go. Okay. Local boy. You can go to the scene of the rape. M for two says those hostages look fine to me. Maxwell, 21 for $17.

I think my mouse is out of batteries. No, it's because it's all the way over there. We do this every week. No, it's working now. Dick and Vito for it's your boy Prime. I hope you both had an excellent thanksgiving bigger problem women giving directions while driving somewhere unfamiliar or taking professional family photos well you got a professional you got a family portrait yeah um there was no women

giving directions well i think he's giving us two problems Isaac Don't give two It makes it seem like you're telling a story And it's like, well, now I can't pay attention to the second one Just give one Well, thank you, Maxwell People do that in emails, too Hey, here's this And here's this

I also think Give me one thought I don't know what to do with this, man I do get emails from guys who give me four things that are going on One! I respond to whatever the last one was. I don't. I see two things. Out. Spam.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam. I just go, well, I'm not gonna respond to four different paragraphs. I'm gonna pick one of them and go, yeah, for that one, I don't wanna do this. Isaac the Ox for 10 says Vito is kind of right about the hat. My client Maddox tweeted at was a beer with a circular logo.

Okay. Yeah. We had TBF distorted in the flat file. Nobody would do it on a hat, but it could work. So I don't know if he was being serious or just fucking with me. No, he's only fucking with you. Moon Milk for five. I can't sleep, so I'm super chatting.

Very good reason to super chat. You should try to get Mike David from Red Bar or Mumpke Jones. I look forward to hearing about the hot goss later. Sure. Someone told me the guy from Red Bar doesn't go on anyone else's show. Who is that? Red Bar. Do you know Red Bar?

I only know because people are always talking about him with Josh Denny. Well, he fights with a lot of different shows and entertainers and other people. Oh, he doesn't go on shows? I think he just does his own show and talks shit about everybody else. That's Mike? David? If Mike David wants to... Well, he's not going to come by.

I don't think he leaves his house either. I don't know. Mike David... You have to leave your house. Just call in. You could call in. We might get some call-in guests. Or is he just going to say the N-word a whole bunch?

I don't know. I don't know that much about him. We get comments randomly that say, Mike from Red Bar is going to destroy you say the N-word a whole bunch? I don't know. I don't know that much about him. We get comments randomly that go, say, Mike from Red Bar is going to destroy you. And I go, wait, why? I don't understand. I don't even know this guy. James Gardner. Thanks for the money. Thank you for the money. James Gardner

for 20 says, Blaxploitation. I know I know that name. With a bunny. What, Mike David? Red Bar. Red Bar is a podcaster guy. I got a little bit of the history of it, where he was doing a podcast. He pissed off some lady in Hollywood. She got him banned from YouTube and iTunes or whatever.

Okay. Because he fucked with her. And then Gavin McGinnis felt bad for him and gave him a show on Compound Media. Okay. And then he did the show and would him and gave him a show on Compound Media. Okay. And then he did the show and would just talk shit about everyone else on Compound Media and how incompetent they were and how much they sucked. I like that. That's funny.

And how they weren't funny. And then Anthony Acumia said, I don't want you on my network anymore. What? Why? All you do is talk shit about- What did I do? I like this guy. All right. All right. All you do is talk shit about... What did I do? I like this guy. Alright, alright, alright.

So apparently then he went his own way and now his show is all about how all those guys are incompetent and unfunny. It's funnier when you're on the network to shit on them. It was funnier when you were still there. It's still funny. That's a good bit. Alright, here I am on Compound Media. the shittiest fucking network that ever sucked,

and Anthony Cumi is a piece of shit. And you're like, all right, hey. It's kind of the bad boy of the Compound Network. Anyway, I might be getting that story wrong. That's how it was explained to me. The second best for five, Superkiller and Iceom for Mortal Kombat 1. What are their fatalities? Oh, Superkiller's going to shoot that guy in the head, and Isom for Mortal Kombat 1. What are their fatalities?

Superkiller's going to shoot that guy in the head, and Isom's going to suck his dick. Superkiller just makes you wait forever. Yeah. It's not taking that long. We haven't even reached the fucking campaign deadline. And then he goes like this. Shut up. I saw Strikers back in Mortal Kombat,

but only as an assist character. Do you remember Striker, the cop from Mortal Kombat 3? Yeah, I remember Striker. He's cool. Fat, kind of chubby, stupid beat cop. Great guy game for $6.99 Canadian. What is Isom's fatality? He sucks guys off.

Bites his teeth. What do you want? Okay, you tell a good one then. I don't know. The Ricky Ritardo shows up and they high five. Ricky Retardo. They make you read the Ice Home comic book until you fall asleep and then they step on your skull. Great guy Gabe for 7 Canadian.

Thanks for upgrading your store, Dick. Now my round ass can buy a 4XL shirt. See, at least I'm not a 4X. If I hit 4X, that's the end of the road. That thing's looking a little tight. Shut up. This is the 3X and it's fine I'm going down to a 2 and it's going to be great

Dean Shock for 20 USD Happy Thanksgiving, boys I don't know why it says and mama But and mama's argument boiled down Oh, nacho mama, that was the one Who I was fighting against on kick or keep That bitch that you yielded to There was no beating her, man

She swept every round. You're talking about an old lady, man. Yeah, but you don't want to beat up on... She also... Okay, and then she went in. Well, she said, I'm getting surgery. But it turned out the surgery was a breast reduction because she has back issues.

On what? To remove all that fat from your ass? You stupid whore. You should have went on Kicker Keep. Yeah, come on! You would have won. You would have... Give me seven to one.

All right, Golden Girls. I got the Golden Girls over here. You should have... They should have... Kicker Keep needs Yeah, come on! You would have won. You would have... Give me 7-1! Alright, Golden Girls! I got the Golden Girls over here! You should... Kicker Keep needs a phone-a-friend situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be good. Where I should be able to be like, alright, for this round, I gotta bring in Dick. And then you come in, phone-a-friend, you handle that round, and we can head out. That is my official

suggestion to you, Destiny and Quantorious. Add a phone-a-friend system. They made it sound like you gave up, though. Like you just quit. I said I can't win this round. Nacho Mama, you win. You didn't even try? I went halfway through the round, and then I realized I was just out of steam.

So I just went, you know what? I forfeit. You can't do that. Why not? Because all the people are rooting for you. You can't do that. Why not? Because all the people are rooting for you. They weren't. You have to go out. Like, didn't you see Dangerous Minds?

I thought I was going to make a bigger embarrassment of myself if I just kept going. I was like, I'm taking the L. I can't win this round. I'm out of gas. Hey, man, sometimes doesn't a boxer ever go, you know, you call it. Throw in the towel. I mean, that's like the worst. Uh-huh, man. Hey, man, sometimes doesn't a boxer ever go, you know, you call it. Throw in the towel. I mean, that's like the worst. Uh-huh, okay.

You go, hey, I was beaten. I was beaten today. I felt beaten. Well, but you're not really, like, boxing. You're just, like, arguing. I'm arguing with an old lady, and she's destroying me. It was demoralizing. And then you quit.

And then I quit. I felt like it was the beat out. You can never do that again. It was an optics play. No, no, no, no, no. See, now you're saying you can't say it was you quit. And then I quit. I felt like it was the beat out. You can never do that again. It was an optics play. No, no, no, no, no. See, now you're saying you can't say it was a quit because you got beaten and then say it was an optics play. It's a little.

No. It was an optics play. No, it's you were feeling devastated. I was like, if I continue down this road, the only thing I can do is keep trying to shit on an old lady who says she's going into surgery tomorrow. And I was like, I just feel like it's just going to get worse for me. What, do you like old ladies? No, but the audience is stupid.

Okay, remember how I said with the Kicker Keep audience, you have to know the audience? So when I said like, oh, I don't want teenagers to kill themselves. Like, obviously, I... You said that as a winner. Now you're saying this shit as a loser. So it doesn't matter. There was no winning that situation. All right? I ran the numbers

and I said the best... Imagine if Trump had done that with Hillary Clinton. If he had just given up. You might have a point. Maybe the silent majority was going to vote for me. I don't know. I made what I thought was the best play. No, you made a coward's play. It was that cowardly.

I'm out of gas. I had no ammunition left in the tank Uh-uh Alright, so I could either suicide drive the plane Into the fucking Sure, fine Or I could fly it back to Baghdad And party with my friends No, there's no partying in Whoville

Okay, I could fly it back to Whoville And fucking get drunk Gotta fly it right into the fucking Pearl Harbor. Anyway, as Dean Shock says, Nacho Mama's argument boiled down to streamers are raising our kids via the internet and should be doing it better. Vito was dumb to drop out. Losers like me were going to vote

for you either way. Yeah, you disappointed a lot of people. I made it to the finals! Can I get any amount of recognition for that? I won the first time I went on. No, no, no, no, no, no. The second time I made it to the finals. Can I get any amount of recognition for that? I won the first time I went on. No, no, no, no, no, no. The second time I made it to the finals. Because now it's just going to be old ladies coming at you.

You've showed your weakness. If she's back on. It's like in Mr. Baseball when Tom Selleck shows that he can't hit the curveball. Right, but now I'm prepared. Now I'm prepared. And he goes, now everybody across Japan is making a curveball. Unlike Eric Cholai, I know a character arc, which is if I lose to the big boss in the first act, I calculate and I come back

prepared for the second fight. Now you're like Worf, where every episode is just me getting my ass kicked. They bring in a new big bad who can show they're tough by beating you, and you'll quit and cry. If I go up against Nacho Mama again, I know what to do. You'll quit again. I won't quit again.

What will you say? What's off the table? What's not off the table? Nothing's off the table. I'm gonna push it to the bitter end. And I'm gonna call her a whore. I tried to say her husband was unfaithful. That wasn't working.

That's not. She's Teflon, man. She's fucking, she's's Drago, man You should have texted me Or called me I would have picked up I would have known something I should have said

Dick, you need to figure out A way for me to beat this old lady Just have her say Hey, can you hold your arm up And just do this? You old bitch Then she'd ask me to do it And I'd get fucked

Nah, nah, nah, nah Then you just ignore it And you say No, you do it Hold your arm up Look, I was able to defeat The MRA guy with the sunglasses Does your pussy look like

A big Montana? I'm able to defeat The MRA guy with the sunglasses. Does your pussy look like a big Montana? I'm able to defeat the only fan's whores. I know how to do that. You bring up an old lady talking her southern wisdom. Because you feel bad for her. I don't feel bad. It's just the anger I feel towards her is going to come off as unseemly. You got to go full bore.

I know. Look, I have a strategy, and I'm not revealing it, okay? Because if I reveal it, she'll plan for it. Look, man, everyone was disappointed and they like you less because of your behavior. I was unprepared. Look, everybody liked Rocky less when he lost to... Did he lose

to Clubber Lang one time and then came back? Yeah, and then Mickey died. Yeah. Mickey was so disappointed, Mickey died. That's true. But did Rocky give up? No, he came back. Okay, so I have a plan. Shut up, whatever. It's a

fucking internet show. None of this matters. Thumbtizzle for 10. A two-peat. You go on. A repeat would have been good. I can't win that shit. Yeah, I know. You might. Thumbtizzle for 10. Veto card values bottom because of constant reprints. I agree. Too many versions of cards. Yes.

I sold off my collection. If it wasn't for limited being fun, I would have dropped the game altogether. Yeah, magic sucks. The whole market is fucked. Magic. You can buy it all at a fucking dollar discount now, though. The Black Friday magic deals. Just draw your own cards.

What's the big deal? Sure. I'll draw my own cards. Can make them with AI now. John Riffs for 5. Here's a buyer's remorse. When'll draw my own cards. Can make them with AI now. John Riffs for five. Here's a buyer's remorse. When Lofty bought a car for his girlfriend who never slept with him, he can't even remember anything about the car.

Lofty, did you really buy a car for a girl? That was the gayest shit. I was on Rikada's show and Lofty called in and he's just like a bubbling pot of lies. He's just like boiling over and spilling and spitting lies all over. Did he really buy a car for a girl or do you think he's lying about that? He said he did, but he bought it for a man who didn't fuck him. He did not buy. No woman would ever drive a car

that Lofty Pixels bought them. Are you kidding me? Slim Willis 96. He did say that though. He did? He said it. That's not good. Don't buy. If someone's admitting to something that pathetic, they're doing something worse, right? Don't buy any woman a car unless... Just don't buy any woman a car.

How's that? Slim Willis 96 for five. Speaking of buyer's remorse, I got the same Samsung tablet for free with my AT&T account, but the service bill is very high. TBF. Cole Mark Hand for five. Shout out to the Real Sweet Kids and Big Ups to Liquid Richard. Who the fuck is Liquid Richard?

I thought you knew. No. I thought that was a reference to something I didn't know. No, I don't know who Liquid Richard is. We've been saying that for a year of Super Shads. Yeah, okay. Well, big ups. Stone Cold Flea for two.

Vito should sing I'm Fat by Weird Al because he's fat. Which one is your favorite ghost? Pinky. Why? Because it's the first one. Retarded. No, Clyde. Clyde's the blue one, right?

I think so. Blinky's the orange one? Pinky, Blinky. What's the red one? Sue? No, it's Pinky, Blinky, something and Clyde. Inky and Clyde. Inky and Clyde, yeah. What's the red one then? Blky and clive yeah what's the red one then

blinky no blinky's the orange one i think inky's the red one inky is red why don't we look it up you have the keyboard okay pac-man ghost names ghost names fromMan ghost names. Hold on. I'm going to say, I think it's Pinky's pink, Blinky is orange, and he is red. They're fickle, chaser, ambusher, and stupid. Okay, well, that's the Japanese names. I want the actual names. Here we go. Inky's the blue one. You got me whole fucked up.

Blinky's the red one. Blinky's the red one. Pinky's the pink one. Inky, that would one You got me whole fucked up Blinky's the red one Blinky's the red one Pinky's the pink one Inky That would make sense Blue ink Is the blue one And Clyde is the orange one

Do you know that Pac-Man wasn't his original name? Really? Yeah I did know that It was actually Pigger-Man No That's not who it was

But they thought that... All right. That's pretty good. That's a good one. Obtuse Gnome for two. It says Vito's Warehouse is his storyboard tablet. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, load up on those fucking iPads.

I got two iPads so I can make more comics at once. I have one tablet for storyboarding. It has been very useful. Lemon Trashy for two. Crimson Stop Eating Dino Nuggies. You need a job. Tagger Man, similar to Pigger Man. No.

For ten, I remember how awful Bleach's pacing was, how they come up with whole filter arcs because the Hollow World arc was so god-awful in its pacing. Seven years to tell you the events of a single day wow yeah i didn't watch bleach dumb username for five i thought that red beard toy behind dick was the sword of omens oh this guy yeah that's uh that's yick yeah what's the name of the character andrew i don't know i forget yick four coming out soon the fighting fighting game, right? No, Yik's an RPG. No, but there's a fighting component to it.

You didn't do voice lines for it? I did voice lines for it, but they didn't add a fight. It's just like for the battles. It's for the RPG battles. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think I'm in that game and you're in that game. Yeah. Which is cool.

Get Yik and you'll see us in it. Bender for five. Yik is spelled Y-I-I-K. If you get it on Steam now, you'll get a free upgrade when the new version launches, I believe. Bender for five. I liked Pandiverse. Cartman crying to his mom about Kathleen Kennedy is how I imagine that fat thumb as

wakes up daily. That fucking guy. On the John for 10 Canadian. After listening to low value mail, I started doing a bi-weekly 48 hour fast. I will confirm there's no way Vito could handle even a 24 hour fast. The first time I only landed 36

hours. Could you do a fast? No, I've tried it. I can't do it. What if there was money involved? Yeah. But how long? 24 hours? 48 hours? Until you're dead. Okay, I'm going to fast forever for money. We double the money at every hour.

I don't think I can last that long. One to two to four to eight. Geeks for five, did you know there's an AlphaCore wealth advisory out of California and AlphaCore Inc.? If he gets sued again for trademark, I'll laugh really hard. No, because it's not publishing. Yeah. I don't think they make books.

MPod for 10 Canadian. Going to wait and watch the show tomorrow work, but here's some LGBT bucks from Canada because even our money is like a rainbow. Well, thank you. Sold two X for five. I bought an entire deep fried turkey from a black guy who runs a catering thing out of his garage. It's the best turkey I've ever eaten.

Lol. Oh, man. I don't know if I've ever had a deep fried turkey. That's what we had. You guys fried a turkey? Yeah, my dad always fries turkeys Never set the house on fire doing it? It's fun watching those videos

Now he set a tree in the yard on fire But not the house Guys, I gotta say, where are these super chats? You're killing me Come on, you gotta get these super chats in Darius Radakovic goes for five Says fatty fatty hamburger patty. Miles Wilson for five, says I hired

TaskRabbit workers to door dash at every Panda Express in LA for the next two weeks. First step. So I can't door dash? Is that the joke? What does that mean? I don't know. Because I'm getting Panda Express from the door dash. So he's saying he's going to do the same? Oh. Oh, is that how you're going to lose weight?

Is having to deliver your Panda Express all day? 11 Trash Heat for two says, Red bar saying a very racist DuckTales parody years ago. Very racist? Red bar lore. I'm very excited. I'm into it. I like the whole going after everybody else on the network thing.

That's funny. On the John for five says, Optics play veto. People call you a PDF file. What optics? Yeah, what optics? Very good. That's, don't, don't give us, don't bullshit us with the optics for an old lady.

Look, I need to win over the Kicker Keep audience for the next time I'm on. Okay? And this was not the time to go hard in the paint because I would have come back and they would have said, Hey, that's that fat guy who fucked around with Nacho Mama. I don't like it. Lick her up. I had to keep the hat on, I had to keep the hat on Lav. I had to keep the heat on Lav and that other girl.

And also this fucking douchebag wearing sunglasses. Veracofers. Wasn't Lav the one that worked with Mr. Girl? Yeah, but now she's friends with Destiny again. It's all very confusing and I don't get it. I don't get how you accuse Destiny of like sexual impropriety and then go on his fun game show.

Do you really not get it? I mean, I get it, but I don't want to admit that I get it. Yeah. She just wanted attention from Mr. Girl, who fell for it. Verico for seven says, Vito, did you see her at Ackman's Sniper Wolf video from three weeks ago debating the drama? Yeah, I told all those guys they're pussies for being like, I can't believe Sniper Wolf showed up at this guy's house. Oh, my God. That's house. Oh my god! That's pathetic. All guys, no breakfast

for five. Vito's shirt has stains because Josh and Carl ran out of tablecloths during Thanksgiving and he offered his shirt. It fit the table perfectly. Get it, Dick? Because I'm fat and my shirt is the size of a tablecloth. Fucking hilarious! You need less words.

Coop for two. Thank you all For blocking Lofty Hashtag Block Lofty Guys And if you didn't super chat During this show You are dead to me

Kill yourself The only way to redeem yourself In my eyes Is to go to Killdozer.industries And get yourself A Biggest Problem t-shirt Don't forget

Bonus episodes At patreon.com Slash biggest problem And of course Like and subscribe to the feed. Vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. Real quick, where's that list of our top supporters? No, no, no.

I'll do this part. Okay, you do that part. There it is, which I know I need to update because somebody yelled at me. But I'll update it for the next show. It was Thanksgiving. I was busy eating, which I like to do. Any other news from you, Dick? No.

Oh, I have my Fat Watch pin. Did you see that? No. Where is it? In my store. Wow, look. I like sour parts because they're so sour. Check it out. You gonna play Pac-Man World? Yeah, I'll play that

Fat Watch Look you can get a pen There's also a fat lady In the shopping cart Popping out of the pen That's her mobility scooter Did you get the pins in yet? No

But you have them on order? They're coming in? Yeah they're coming in You use Top Road? Mmhmm They do good work I gotta put my pins up in. You use Top Road? Mm-hmm. They do good work. I got to put my pins up in the store.

You can get the Vito pins. A free pin. It's a nice pin. It's going to be all shiny, right? It's going to have the fucking... I don't know, really. Yeah. I think it looks good. I don't remember what they told me.

I think it looks good. I like the shirt. Attack of the 50-ton woman. Did you get these printed? Not yet. I want one. Give me a big one. Like a 3 or 4X?

3 for now. 3 for now? We're moving down to a 2. Now you're going to get so upset. We're halfway between a 2 and a 3 right now. I'm getting back to a 2. Man, if you have to weigh in next week. I don't want to talk about it.

If you don't make it. I'm not coming in next week. It's going to be bad for you. I'm not coming in next week. How's that? be bad for you. I'm not coming in next week. How's that? Are you going to delay it like an hour so you can try to work out? No, I'm just going to hang myself out of shame because the whole audience is going to fucking tell me what a loser I am. It will never let you hear the end of it.

Unless I lose more weight moving forward. No, I could never. You know what? I don't. Okay. You could never make up for it. I fail at everything, okay? But sometimes it works out.

You're trying to boogie your way out of it. I am going to boogie my way out of it. If you don't make the weight. Everybody thinks I'm such a piece of shit and I don't know. I'm just doing what I, but I'll try better in the future, guys. If you don't make this weight loss thing, man.

I'm coming in next week. It'll be unrecoverable. With a doctor. And the doctor's going to say, Vito has blood cancer. And you're all going to feel really. Yeah, he's going to say, Vito tried. But unfortunately, his blood cancer made it impossible for him to lose weight. Because you had so much time.

I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about it next week. You had so much time. I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about it next week. You had so much time, though. You have all of next week to shit on me about it. Well, next week's the weigh-in, I think. Yeah. Are you nervous?

No, because I already know the outcome. Lost. Which is I win, and everybody celebrates me. You're not going to win. It's going to be very close. It's going to be very close. I think you're going to weigh in at, I think you'll weigh in at, you started at 310, right? Yeah. I'm going to weigh in at 300.

I think 294. I was at 293 last time. Yeah, I think you're going to have gained a pound. Because you're going to be so nervous all week that you're going to eat. Maybe the nervousness will make the pounds melt away. All you have to do is not eat for a week. Well, I tell you what, don't forget to super chat because it's the only thing that makes me exercise. What are you looking around for?

I don't fucking know. The secret's not on there. The secret to weight loss. I'm just going to go get my fucking arms cut off. How's that? It's a start. All I know, guys, is we've made some progress. Are you going to take your clothes off?

Thanks for joining me on my journey. I'm going to go to a sauna. I've got to find a sauna I can go to. Yeah, you've got to go to K-Spa, Crystal Spa. 24-hour Korean spa. Is that the Korean one? Yeah. Which you can't eat.

How much is a day pass? How much is your fucking dignity worth? I'm just asking for reference. I don't know, like 30 bucks. 30 bucks? That's totally reasonable. You want to go to the spa? No. Watch me be a fad guy in the spa? Alright, what a show.

Thanks everybody. Once again... Do you think you're going to make it? Yes. 100%. I don't believe that. And I'm going to get a sexy supermodel girlfriend who loves Pokemon. You're being sarcastic. Well, of course they love Pokemon.

They're women. 25 years old. And I'm going to buy them a steel Pac-Man figure, and they're going to celebrate me forever for it because of how cool it is. Why do you like that Pac-Man could sit in his face so much? It's cool. Look, it's got a little Pac-Man maze inside the Pac-Man. Oh, yeah.

Okay. That's pretty cool. Why would he make his own? Is he autistic? Pac-Man? I think this Pac-Man might be evil. I think he might not have made the evil Pac-Man. The black Pac-Man is evil?

He might have hijacked the black Pac-Man. I haven't beat Pac-Man World yet, so I don't know exactly what it is. Well. It's worth 20 bucks. It's worth nothing. You got a video game. You can play a video game. That's worth 20 bucks.

You and the lady can play some Pac-Man. And I look forward to my Thanksgiving present, which I'm sure is forthcoming. Thanksgiving present? I'm just fucking with you. Thanks, guys. I gave you those sodas Yeah which sodas

From your fucking The dyke Oh Give me one of those I'll take one I'm taking home chill it Alright What

What flavor fruit is on those I don't know Well it's got a picture on it right Choya Is that a fruit I don't know let me see It looks like an apple. A fucking nectarine.

Is it nectarine? Ume, which is often mistaken for plum, is a unique fruit with natural organic acids, minerals, and vitamins. Both beautiful and aromatic. It's known as a super fruit in Japan. This drink is proudly made with the whole umi fruit. I present it to you.

I present it to you. I present it to you. It's a ume drink. How is it tasted? Do I gotta shake it? Yeah, shake it up. You gotta shake it up. Big time. Time for ume tasty drink. It's the most powerful. You got to shake it up. Big time. Time for my tested drinker.

It's the most powerful beverage. I thought that was going to spray all over. It kind of had a little bit. It's got a little bit of foam here. How is it? Tastes like semen. It's like a, I don't even know how to describe that. Kind of tastes like an apple soda.

Apple. Okay. It's not really that carbon don't even know how to describe that. Kind of tastes like an apple soda. Like a... Apple. Okay. It's not really that carbonated, though. Oh. Well, thanks. It's refreshing. It's refreshing.

It's not, like, too sweet. Thank you. Umeh. Soda is the most delicious soda. Okay. Goodbye. Yakuza give much drink beverage. Yatcha! Yakuza give much drink and beverage.

Yatta! Yatta! Well. Hey, we had a good number of people watching. Yeah, we did. We had like 900.