The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 118

Episode Date: December 9, 2023

Yeah. Feasting. Is it a feast of shame or a feast of triumph? I don't care anymore. Somebody said make sure to do the weigh-in before the show or else Vito's going to be like a puddle for the entire show. I think that was a good idea. Don't worry, I'm rehydrating.

With Mountain Dew? Mm-hmm. Treating yourself? I deserve a treat. At least the weigh-in is today, if you're just joining us. Vito's six month, was it six months? Yes. Which is ridiculous. And you picked up

healthy habits, clearly. I pick up a lot of healthy habits. I get the, you know, you only use half the nacho cheese with your nacho there. I haven't eaten since Wednesday. That's more healthy habits that you've picked up. And I have it here in my hand.

You can get black beans inside the burrito instead of the refried beans. Fells you up. We weighed you. Well, my beautiful girl, my beautiful doxed girlfriend weighed you. Yes. On the scale and wrote down three measurements.

And we confirmed that the scale was accurate before we began the measuring. If that scale's off, I'm going to fucking kill everybody. It is not I weigh myself all the time because I have male body dysmorphia. All right. I can attest to its accuracy. Because we did the initial weigh-in on a different scale, which you broke. Well, you know, Vito. Blamed on me.

It's, uh, they have the ability to all say the same thing, these scales. We'll see. How do you feel? Uh. How do I feel? How do I feel? How do I feel? You've had a rough week.

It's been a... It's been quite a week. It's been quite a week. It's been quite a week. A lot of cardio. Yeah. A lot of not drinking water. Laughing at Maddox. Laughing at Maddox.

Yeah, it's true. Maddox. That's the thing. You've been having so much fun with Maddox. All I've been doing is pedaling on an exercise bike and sitting in a sauna. What have you been doing to cut weight? Well, all right. You can't say diet as a man.

You have to say cutting weight. That's what Camelot taught me. Cut weight. I'll have a salad, bro. I'm cutting. For a boxing tournament? What do you mean? I did at least an hour of cardio a day, sometimes two hours.

Uh-huh. Restricted what I ate severely. Apples, maybe. What? You're just like belching and oozing. Yeah, because I haven't eaten since Wednesday. The last thing I ate was an apple on Wednesday. And then on Thursday, I go to 24-hour fitness or whatever.

Yeah. Got a day pass, and I just went in the sauna. And I didn't realize how much I do not like being in a sauna. Man, it's not comfortable. Not for a long period of time, I guess. You're only supposed to be in there like 10, 20 minutes, right? Yeah, probably. Yeah, I went for like an hour.

What, are you going to sweat your bones out? What was the plan there? Just to sweat out fucking the water weight, man. I got all this water hanging off me. And at this point, I can't pee anymore. When I pee, it just comes out. Your pee gets progressive. If you don't drink water, it just gets darker and darker

Why were you drinking water though? No, because you're cutting To cut water weight You have to just like Drink as little water as possible The last like two days Is that true though? Yeah, that's true

I fucked up the water You're supposed to go Monday drink two gallons of water Tuesday drink two gallons of water Okay Wednesday one gallon You want a Sour Patch Kid too To wash down those nachos Yeah give me a couple of these

Sour Patch Kids here I like the yellow ones I was gonna have you sitting there And just have like a full buffet During the show But then I realized The show would be fucking horrible If we do that

Well I won't eat too much I think Max is watching right now He's watching the show would be fucking horrible if we do that. Well, I won't eat too much. I'll eat after this. Max is watching right now. He's watching the show. I wonder. I wonder. He's been watching everything for all these years.

That's what this has finally confirmed in his psychotic five-year magnum opus. I think I would have featured more prominently in his video if he hadn't already spent five years on it. Yeah. I'm sure there's a part two coming out. I was in it very briefly He found a terrible picture of me And he insinuated that I'm more famous than you Which is awesome

You are Also if you look at I'm more maybe well known But not for like good stuff No like Carl knows you Other famous people know The only people that know me are like racists. Yeah, that's fair.

White supremacists. I'll be on the front page of Daily Stormer. You will never have that. But you have like, I guess I'm more famous in like traditional, I'm more well-known in like traditional circles, but you in like this whole, you know, dark web of racists and psychopaths. You don't want to be famous here, bud. Hey, it seems to be working out pretty well for your fucking Patreon.

I wouldn't mind that. Can you believe how viciously he's going after Patreon? Like, it's just the most transparent. Yeah, why? And that doesn't even make sense. All he cares about is getting me picked off. He wants your Patreon banned. That's all he's wanted for eight years.

But even if your Patreon got banned, like, yeah, it would suck, but... Oh, it would suck. It would be devastating. But I think you could relaunch somewhere else and still... I mean, you would probably lose five grand, ten grand maybe a month immediately because people are too lazy to sign up for something else. I pissed a lot of people off, Vito. Yeah.

I don't know. All he cares about is getting that thing taken down, costing people their jobs. That's it. Total psycho. I like to think that Patreon at this point goes, hey, isn't that that psychopath who sued one of our customer service reps? Yeah. Maybe we don't have to listen to what he says. Maybe tell him to go fuck himself.

But there's always this worry that there's going to be some new pink-haired working at the thing gets forwarded whatever and decides oh well i think this is it's so insane patreon fans people all the time it's crazy but i'm uh um i'm lgbt myself yes and i love all spectrum of people and sexualities and relationship statuses i don't cond condone them, but I welcome them all. Even pedophiles. I mean, it's hard to pop me for hate speech when I'm so welcoming. I think there's other guys on Patreon who are probably way worse

than you. And all the stuff you're accused of doing, it's like, did you know his fans had a public 8chan board where literally any anonymous asshole can post? And they made a list. You know who's on the rape list? Who?

Bugs Bunny and Drag. Yeah, because anyone can be on it. And Hillary Clinton. And then Maddox sent that list around to everybody in LA, all of our friends, saying he's a rapist, right? He's a pro-rape. You're pro-rape. Pro-rape, yeah. He sent the list around and then

his video, Dick Lies, I got kicked out of everything. No one's my friend anymore, obviously. You can't have an 8chan rape list. And then, then, some crazy fan of Maddox's added his girlfriend to that list. A picture of her

on that list and a link to her Instagram or something. Despite him. Him saying, like, oh, my girlfriend was on that list. She was of her on that list and a link to her Instagram or something. Just bite him. Just bite him. Him saying, oh, my girlfriend was on that list. She was on the list because you made it public. Because you used it as a weapon to ruin my life. So then people started adding stuff to it as a joke. Yeah.

Santa Claus, I think, was on it. You manifested. Yeah, exactly. Nobody saw that thread. There was three posts in it originally, right? Yeah. And then after the three posts in it originally, right? Yeah. And then after the three posts happened, Maddox goes, look! Look at this thing I hate!

Look at this thing that pisses me off! And everyone's like, oh, Maddox is pissed off? There's a way to easily piss off my internet friend or whatever? This guy whose podcast I follow? Yeah. The whole thing is a debacle. What was your favorite part? Well, I liked when he said I was more famous than you, so that was pretty good. What was your favorite part? Well, I liked when he said I was more famous than you, so that was pretty good.

What was my favorite part? So he's saying, like, I latched on to somebody else. You latched on to me. Yeah, he even plays a little. You might not have gotten to that point in the video. No, I haven't. Or he goes, the reason I had to protect my. Well, first of all, he lies.

I mean, he lies throughout the whole thing. The whole thing. But he lies and says part of the reason he had to sue you was to protect his trademark. But he sets it up in a way where he talks about this. Well, it's not his trademark. No. But he talks about this show before he talks about the lawsuit. Making it sound like the lawsuit was a response to you trying to steal his show.

He's such a fucking liar. Get Super Chats in if you have questions about Madison's video. We're going to be talking about it all night. All right, should we start the show? Yeah, whatever. I don't care anymore. Do you feel normal now?

No. I was kind of waiting for the insulin to kick in. I'm almost done with my Mountain Dew. You want another one? I got an energy drink. You got a backup prime? Daddy hungry. Hungry for the biggest problem in the universe.

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from snitching apps to houses that are crap. Tiny houses that are crap. I don't know. The other one that I was about to read was living in tiny spaces to from living out. Oh, no. Never mind.

I mean, I can't read that. Yeah. Joining me as always is Vito Chiswoldy. I'm putting on like three pounds right here. So you got a glimpse of what dealing with Maddox, working with Maddox was, was like, it's one of these, again, I'm still just like, I look at the, and here's the thing is I look at the production quality of that video. Yeah it's cool right it's amazing he's got like a 3d graphic i mean it looks like you had a computer he's got all these fucking custom

graphs and like backgrounds did you see the graph you put backwards to make it look like yeah i thought the exact same thing when he did it it's like and in 2016 he had this many tweets i'm like well yeah so that means he's talking about you less over time isn't that good you should be like oh it makes sense that over time he's gotten less obsessed ramping up yeah trying to show it defeats his point it's like oh my stalker cares much less about me as time goes on did you see good that he he gave an example of stalkers that he quote unquote stalkers that he had but one of them was a girl, and he's showing conversations that they're having. Right.

He tells her, I'm gay, but it was because she asked him in the previous email, I think you don't talk to me because you're gay. It's like, you're flirting with that woman. That's not how you deal with a stalker. I don't think she has a stalker. That's not how you deal with a stalker. I don't think she has a stalker. All I'm saying is I look at the fact that he's obviously been working on that video for like five years. Because the stuff in it, he has a screenshot of our Patreon from at least a year ago.

Yeah. So he's been working on it for, I don't know, some people say he's been working on it for like four years. He lost the lawsuit in like 2019, I think. Yeah, and that's when he just started. And I think that's when he immediately started working on that video. Yeah. Because he's so bad at reading. You think it took him that many takes to like read the video? It would take him an hour or two to record a three-minute video.

That's wild. Because he just is mumble-mouthed and autistic. I can't even see it. The point is, all the effort that he put into this thing, I'm like, man, think of all the cool, funny videos he could have made. He has the skills to just be one of these guys who puts out stupid video essays. But he can only do one a year. Because it takes him so long. But this video was how many fucking... How long is

this video? Three hours? Two hours, 45 minutes. Okay. If you made 15-minute video essays, you could have made one every six months. Yeah, I mean, you would have had... You couldn't make a career on that. You could have made one probably one every four months or whatever else. Yeah, one every... Yeah, probably not him, but... Still had a career on that. You could have made one probably one every four months or whatever else.

Yeah, probably not him, but still one every six months. I know guys who only make one a year and they have huge Patreons. My buddy Tim Rogers, he makes one video a year. I think he gets like $40,000 on Patreon because he makes like this giant fucking documentary. And instead Maddox wastes all that time and energy to look like an idiot that convince people that I'm a jerk guess what I'm a jerk I'm even worse in real life what what do you what is the accomplishment what do you get is that everybody my character that I play is a jerk and I'm a jerk in a totally different way here's why he's like completely retarded. Okay? Is that this video is directed at a very specific section of people.

It's directed at people who already kind of know about what happened, but he wants to give his side of the story, right? Right. To change people's minds. They've come into this and they go, oh, Dick's in the right, Maddox is a cuck and an idiot. And Maddox goes, well, wait, hold on, hold on. I'm not a cuck.

I'm not a cuck. I'm only kind of an idiot, right? Even though there's nothing inherently wrong with that. So the people that you're directing that out would be former fans of your podcast who know about the drama. But instead of directing that at them

and trying to win them over, you take the entire list of a Facebook page, all the people that it's directed at that you're trying to win over, and you say, here are my stalkers and harassers! I am the list!

I did a face cut out of the list. I am the list! Can you put me on there? You gotta switch my camera over as well, you idiot. I'll come for you. You can beg me to... No one gets off the list.

You were part of a hate mob because you joined a Facebook group in 2017 after your favorite podcast ended. So I doxxed you. How many people long is that list? 5,000. So that's 5,000 people who are theoretically the intended audience of this video to go, Hey guys, I'm not that bad. You've actually been sold a bill of lies by this crooked man.

Also, you're all stalkers and I've doxed all 5,000 of you. And you have to send me a groveling apology email to get off this extortion list. That was the stupidest part of the whole thing. I'm like, he always goes after innocent people. That's like his whole deal. I heard Null talking about it, saying the problem with Maddox is he always goes after innocent people. He shouldn't do that. But he doesn't understand what is guilty or innocent.

Like, he hates all of those fans because they liked me. That's why. He just hates them that they liked me and not him. So his mind is like, well, you're evil then. You're a racist. That's why. He just hates them that they liked me and not him, so he thinks, so his mind is like, well, you're evil then. You're a racist. You're not. He put a fucking SS logo on top of that list, saying if you employ these people, you should

have a serious look at their fucking behavior. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he also just goes way too hard with this guilt by association thing, because people are asking him where they're like, well, what do you think about this guy? And it's like, well, he's friends with Dick, so I hate him. Somebody was like,

somebody asked, they're like, hey, you got really good skills. You should do something with he takes it way too far. They're like, you should do something with Screenwave, you know, the angry video game nerd or whatever. He's like, well, I like the angry video game nerd, but he formerly employed Tony from Hack the Movies and Tony from Hack the Movies.

And Tony from Hack the Movies is a known associate of Dick Masterson. And I'm like, so you're going to not collaborate? You're not working with that famous guy because he employed Tony because he's friends with me? And Tony is like the web in his mind is basically anyone who can be remotely connected to you in any way. It's fucking insane. He has to cut all ties with and they're technically part of a coordinated stalking group. But then he

goes, then he docks his 5,000 people. He's like, why are people being mean to me? What do you think, man? There's probably two murderers on that list, by the way, statistically. You just pissed off a lot of people, man. And couldn't you have thought through like, hey, out of these 5,000 people,

maybe some of them will hear my message and change their mind. What's the point of that? But instead you just burn the bridge with 5,000 people. Like, nobody goes, oh, cool, that guy who put me on a doxing list. I can't wait to hear his side of the story. I guess it's good that he got it out of his system, but I think we were all— No, he didn't get it out of his system, but I think we were all... No, he didn't get it out of his system.

He says he's going to put out extended cuts of every chat. Maddox, just make anything, please. Please. Your videos are not that bad. You're kind of funny sometimes. Just make... I know you thought being a banana was the ticket. It could have been. Maybe ticket It could have been!

It could have been! Well, he should have made TikToks as the banana or whatever else. Oh man, if you... Good luck suggesting that to him. I suggested that the Maddox Presents book series. Right, I saw that. That was our... We met because we had the same

editor. And the editor suggested that. He's like, this would be great for him. I was like, yeah, you know what, I'll write that up. He's got a built-in audience. He can promote it. He can bring the authors on. He likes finding talent, too, you know? So that would be good fun for him.

He could make a lot of money. And I think he could still do it. Well, I mean, I don't know about now. Not now. But he could have made a lot of money doing that. Presents. $100,000 a book to write 20 pages? I don't know about now. Not now. But he could have made a lot of money doing that. You know, $100,000 a book to write 20 pages. Nothing. The Podcast Network.

That was a good idea. Just be a funny internet guy. It's not that hard. It's not that hard. Did I start the show already? I think the show's... Yeah, we did the intro. We did the intro. I was going to say, I made it show's stupid. Yeah, we did the intro. We did the intro.

I was going to say, I made it stupid. Make videos about Star Wars. Make videos. You like video games? Make some videos about your favorite video games. Yeah, contrary. Stupid essays. You know it.

But he doesn't have good insights. That's the problem. You have good insights about media and stuff, and you have like- Sometimes he picks a topic that resonates when he like, didn't he shit on Ed Sheeran and he got a bunch of views or whatever people like that yeah kind of so he's got his finger on some sort of pole i mean he is an old man the problem is when you become an old man yeah you're out of you're out of sync with it's cool when you're 25 and you hate popular stuff when you're 45 50 and you hate popular's like, well, you don't really get what makes it popular, though. Yeah, now you're just cranky.

Okay. Maddox, just make some videos. There's going to be another one of me. He made that video about kids, and then it didn't do that good. Yeah. And that must have broke him. Yeah, probably. He must have said, I'm done making comedy videos. It's like, some of them are not going to hit, man.

I don't know. It's like some movies they're not going to hit, man. I don't know. It's a sad state of affairs. Can you believe he got away with putting 50,000 N-words in the middle of his video on YouTube? Well, it's a documentary, you know? So that's okay? You have to document hate. It's very important. I guess so.

Yeah, that's what we do on this show. If anyone asks. Whisper the N-word on this show. Yeah, we're not allowed. Instantly cancelled. Actual Illuminati says, I don't understand why you guys didn't do one problem before bringing

Carl on. I was completely thrown off. Shut the fuck up. Because when I listen to this show. It's all about the problems. We all know that the winner of the previous episode has to do their problem. So you can't just do Carl's problem because then I don't know who won the episode. I hate you guys.

I'm making sure the audio's working good. Oh, is it? I'm just checking. Okay. Sam Thomas, what is a mistake? Someone says four people on Maddox's list are dead. A whole part a guy that Maddox dedicates his video to is dead. Yeah, Cantillions is dead.

My stalkers are dead. And Digibro is a woman now. Yeah, also you misgendered Digibro. You called a trans person a pedophile. That is extremely transphobic. You are not progressive. You're a bad man. Digibro is now, of course, Trixie.

Yeah. Andrew Nunez says Dick's hair looks like pubes. Okay. Now, Smellus says, I'm confused. Was Carl on last week and did his problem win? Surely the only reason his problem would come first. Okay, look. He had a limited win.

This is so stupid. I'm not getting it. I'm not relitigating this. Was that? He was good. I was really happy toigating this. Was that... He was good. I was really happy to talk to him and happy that he was on, but he was a little dry for some people, I think. People said...

Which is not his fault. Yeah, it's my fault. Is that a... I don't know. I think I have to preface to people that it's a comedy podcast. I don't know, man. I guess here's the problem is I get into a story, so I'm already like, oh, this story is exciting. Yeah.

Okay, but I need to communicate to the audience up front, here's this story. Because for me, I was like, this is great. I'm talking to Carl Jobst. I love this guy. I was panicking like two minutes in because I'm like, uh-oh. We haven't really explained why this is happening to people. I get it and Vito gets it, but... So I've learned something today, is that I should not assume that everybody is up to date on some fucking internet drama.

I should have let into it more. Well, we'll try it again. Guys, we like trying things. We like... I mean, I want to get Carl back on, because he's great. He also was like, wait, was that a comedy podcast? I'm like, oh, God, I probably should have. Did you give him your big document?

I gave him the big document. I told you not to have a big document. The document says hosted by two comedians, and it's called Biggest Problem. It's got to be microwave instructions. Aren't all podcasts comedy podcasts? To speedrunners, no. These motherfuckers are talking about, like,

serious shit all day, like frame glitches and shit. Anyway, if the show's not funny, it's our fault, because we should be able to bring on serious guests, and we provide the humor. Yeah, we got to give them a little bit more of a heads up, I think. Let's figure, we'll figure it out. Helmet Ricky, who's this guy? R-T-W-A. Ricky Retardo.

Helmet Ricky was hilarious until it reminded me of a brief period from my childhood where I spent two weeks or so. I played with my stopwatch nonstop for a couple of hours every day. Now I'm sad. Didn't I say his favorite app was the stopwatch? Yeah, and I start it, and then I see how high a number I can get, and then I stop it. I mean, I went through that phase, too. That's why I said that. You went through an obsessive stopwatch phase? Yeah. Wow. went through that phase too that's why i you went through an obsessive stopwatch phase yeah

wow just like not not like this weird freak but like it's just like oh yeah cool top time awesome stop i think i had a watch like a digital watch when i was a kid probably had a stopwatch function yeah it's exciting to just play with technology when you're a kid uh i don't want to get back into it i don't even use my yes exactly time uh i don't even use my... Yes, exactly. Time. I don't even use my stopwatch because I'm afraid of getting back into it. Hardcore. User says there's some great 3D modeling software for art references. Relatively cheap, too. You'd think Eric would be able to afford it with all that donation money.

I've seen a couple preview pictures of Alvacore. It's kind of odd. Yeah, the art is like... like I mean they might have cherry picked some some panels we'll see but the art looks really bad I hate saying that but because I don't really care about alvacore yeah you know well Chuck Dixon has a gushing letter at the end of it to Eric so that's fascinating I think I honestly just got ruined by cyber frog where it's where it has actual art I mean it's wrong by an artist oh yeah yeah every single thing in it yeah it's too much

it's overwhelming it's like going to like an art museum go in the horses let me see if they have any dicks on here. Horse dicks. Not really. No horse dicks. No, that's kind of a strike. It is a lovingly detailed book as compared to the slop that is being churned out. Waylon says Carl does two episodes of WATP a week, and that's not counting his spinoff show.

So that's why he's ranking higher than us. That makes me feel way better about his stupid Patreon numbers. Yeah. Oh, you gotta do two episodes a week to make that money? It's practically half. We just shit one out. And we're late on our bonus episodes, and we don't even give a shit. We gotta do a bonus episode.

Maddox did that to everybody. Well, everybody who's complaining that we haven't done a bonus episode, you got like ten fucking dick appearances talking about the Maddox thing. Busy yourself with those. We do have one planned, though. We've both been busy. I've been busy starving myself to death.

And Dick's been busy fighting with the greatest cuckold autist in the history of the internet. So please forgive us. I didn't break up. He didn't break up with me. I broke up with him.

Dude, the part where he goes, the reason I didn't mention him in the last show is because he didn't show up. When it's like, you said you were ending the show. You didn't say we're going to do one final episode. Oh, you know, so he he presents all those emails is out of order the one where he sent the one where he said here's our schedule yeah he said here's when we're doing this episode and that was a month was still going on yeah and then he breaks up the show and you're like oh the show's broken up it was obviously i'm not showing

up the only thing that changed was him finding out that my girlfriend and i that his ex and i were still dating and in the beginning of his end the show email he says i haven't been able to sleep like he gives this whole thing it's like because did he already confront you about the like stupid reddit post where he said we're not yeah that we worked that out weeks ago weeks ago um and honestly you read that it's and it's like, dude, he's joking. Like, obviously, I think you were still like, King Cuck. Yeah. Yeah, it's not like you guys were like best.

He wouldn't let me host a show with that. Like, that was bullshit. Especially after he kicked me off the previous show when we left the wedding in the first place. I would say at that point, if somebody really asked you, like, hey, you guys are buddies, right? You would say, like, yeah, yeah, we're cool. asked you like hey you guys are buddies right you would say like yeah yeah we're cool no after episode 77 when he when Maddox called me after he was told that that my girlfriend that his ex and I left the wedding together yeah and he scolded me for an hour on the phone about driving drunk or something about how it was it was uh it looked bad for him for that to happen because I said

the first first thing he says well did anything happen i'm like nothing happened no i just i just drove home you know lie um so he really was just and then he said well you know this is like it's not okay because the appearance is like even if nothing happened like it appears like something had happened and that's not good for me and then he's it's not good for him it's not good for him then he called called her at work at school and ran her through the same 45 minute grilling like, well, did anything happen? Well, you know, that doesn't look good for me. You know what's wild is after that, friendship over.

That was, no. I had a friend. He dated a girl. They broke up. And then she started dating his roommate, which was also my roommate at the time. We all lived in the same house. Yeah. And my buddy who broke up with the girl was like, this is awesome.

You guys are great. You guys are great together. You're way better than we were. Yeah. It was like the most positive fucking thing. And then they eventually went and got married. And my buddy was like best man at their wedding. And it was like no fucking problem.

It was like, oh, yeah, us together. That didn't really work out. But like, it's so cool that you're with my friend. And, you know, I still get to see you. And we're still buddies or whatever. Honor killings, man. That's where. That's what Maddox wants.

I mean, it's obvious he was hung up on her. Obviously. Makes sense. Okay, I get it. You know, I saw the pictures of him with her. And I'm like, I mean, he was batting outside his league when I look at that. It's this beautiful woman next to this like bald psychopath. Like, hello, I have a show on the internet.

I'm like, ooh, okay. People send me that picture. I'm like, I might have taken that picture, you know? I was at that. I knew these fucking people for years. What are you talking about? You're showing me like an old prom picture. Respect and honor is like, yeah, it's what, yeah, if you are obsessed in life about respect,

it's going to lead you down. Well, because it was a lie. The worst pet. It was a lie. It was, it's not that it looked bad. It's like I have, I realize that I look foolish now because I'm all, I'm upset. I'm upset into my feelings. So I'm going to turn that.

That's still your fault, and that's because of appearances. It's like, no, bro, you just, like. You're upset that you're not still with this girl. And you currently have a girl living with you, so you better tuck that shit in and not. Like, you better deal with that shit fast, or else you're going to piss her off big time. Yeah, that's insanity.

It's like, okay, man, so that means the girl you're with you don't like clearly because you're obsessed over what other girls are doing. So I don't know. Just go find another girlfriend that you do like. There's other girls, man? I don't fucking know. They're all the same. They're all the same.

Ralph rewound time to do this. He said he was going to rewind time. Yeah. He might have been on Xanax still when he said it, but he did say it, and he did it, I believe. Wait, how did Ralph rewind time? He just said through the power of his will he was going to rewind time and bring back Internet Bloodsports and Trump and then Elon bought Twitter and all of these things are happening that are bringing us back to 2016. Okay. He did. I thought you were inferring that Ralph was going to rewind time

and undo all his bad relationships, but that's not happening. No. He can only use his powers for certain things. He's rewinding time so we can relive all the bad experiences we already had. If he could rewind impregnating multiple women, that might be... Why don't you impregnate those tacos? Unfortunately, that's a little hard to undo. Thank God he stopped drinking.

That power has... Now he doesn't have that power anymore to rewind time again. And he undid all his weight gain. He looks like a fucking round. He looks cool. Yeah, he looks... He was... Back when he used to be skinny, he was a good-looking guy.

When he was in prison. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a good looking guy. When he was in prison. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a good look. Oh, yeah. Now he's back to that. I mean, I got to be real, though. He looks like a prick, too, so it looks good on him, right?

He's like a... All right. I wish I could have both, though. I like skinny Ralph, but fat Ralph is also fucking hilarious. Just fat Ralph getting on the fucking Kell stream going, listen, you son of a bitches. And I'm like, ah, I kind of like Fat Ralph has like that energy, you know. But Skinny Ralph looks good. And it's healthier.

Yeah. We're all good. I think you do not miss a little bit. Of course. You're going to miss some Fat Ralph. Yeah. I need a new fat Southern friend. I know.

I can't take. That's the thing. A fat Southern guy cursing at people. the thing There's a southern A fat southern guy Like cursing at people Yeah There's a certain Character there Well he goes harder

On fat women too I can tell I can tell He's holding himself back A little bit Now he's like Boom I'm like wow

Okay Do you want to do Are there any other comments We need to talk about I don't think so Unless you have some No no Who won

Oh shit Did I not do that No Are there any other comments we need to talk about? I don't think so, unless you have some. No, no. Who won? Oh, shit. Did I not do that? No. Compulsive Liars. And then Ironic. Foreshadowing. It was.

And then Tiny House Propaganda and then Next Door Apps. So you. Tiny House Propaganda. So I'm the winner. Big winner. Yeah, nobody cares about your Nextdoor app. Or the problem with Nextdoor is you're going on there causing trouble. That's the reason you're not enjoying the app.

And I got duped into getting these poisoned persimmons. Oh, really? What a fucking dupe. Was the dog trying to eat them or something? No, they're just not any good. And we went to go pick them because they were listed on Nextdoor app. Yeah. This old lady tricked us into it. Oh, she said, come pick my flowers?

Everybody come pick the persimmons. They're not flowers. It's a tree. Is that the little green thing? What's a persimmon? They're orange. They're kind of chalky. Yeah.

So we got home and ate them. They taste like wine residue. It's disgusting. Are you supposed to just eat them raw? I thought you were supposed to cook with them or something. Yeah, but not if they don't taste good raw. I don't think. I don't fucking taste good raw. I don't think. I don't fucking know, man.

I don't know. I've never picked a persimmon. Look at you living your little perfect little home life. I'm doing it out of spite. That you stole from Maddox. Okay? Maddox could be traversing his beautiful, sunny, hilltop neighborhood picking persimmons, and you took that all away, and he's trapped in a box with a slime blanket and no girlfriend that I know of making fucking stupid TikTok videos

and complaining about you. Oh, man. I guess that leads into my problem. Yeah. Dick, have you ever had a thought or image pop in your head that surprised or disturbed you? Mm-hmm. That's what we might call an intrusive thought.

Oh. Intrusive thought. Intrusive thoughts are ideas and images that come to your mind uninvited and typically unwanted. These thoughts may be violent or sexual in nature, frightening, related to a phobia or a deep-seated fear. They may inspire disgust, embarrassment, shame. Or if you're a religious person, they might have a blasphemous thought. You might curse God or something. Gay stuff. Right.

Eyeball stuff. Catching my eyeballs on nails. If I ever see a nail, I'm like, fuck, stop. Is that really a thing for you? If I see a nail sticking out of a wall, I'll just start walking at it with my eye. You know that's one of Tony's, like he's constantly talking about how afraid he is of getting his eyeball stabbed? He will. Next time I see him, he'll get his eyeball stabbed. Well, no, he has, actually, but he was afraid of it before it happened.

Now it happened? He said he has a phobia of getting his eyes stabbed, and then, like, for some reason, he's had multiple instances where his eye has gotten, like, stabbed or poked or something. See, he's like me. He sees it. He's like, oh, can we get over there? And then I made him watch the Evangelion movie. He hates movies that have a scene where somebody's eye gets gouged out. And then I made him watch the Evangelion movie where the robot gets its eye jammed into.

I think my dad told me about some stupid French movie, La Chienne Andalou or something that he saw when he was a kid that gave him an eye phobia. And then I've had an eye phobia since then. I was like, why the fuck did you do that? Yeah. Like for laughs? I don't know. Okay.

I have this weird, I think I don't have it any longer, but like whenever I would see like a sharp knife or something, I'd be like, man, I hope that thing gets nowhere near my penis. I was always like, I really hope that a knife doesn't cut off my penis. I've never had that one. I know. I don't know where that comes from. I think it's finally gone now.

But I would just see a sharp... I think it's because I would walk around in the kitchen in my underwear to get something. Yeah. And then there'd be a knife there. I'm like, oh, God, what if that knife falls off the thing and hits the ground and bounces up and just slices my penis pure off? That would be an intrusive thought. Tipping over the railing on the stairs in one spot.

I always want to do that. You always want to do that. I always want to jump over that. Not the balcony. Not down the stairs, but this one part of the railing. And then there's the fun intrusive thoughts, like when you're stopped at a stoplight and a bunch of kids with the crosswalk lady.

And you want to molest them. Just starts walking across. No. I can make those jokes. You can. I just always go like, man, if I really wanted to, I could just like completely end my life right now. Like, I literally could take the least amount of effort, hit the gas pedal, kill like 10

kids and go to jail forever. And it would take almost no effort. No effort. It's crazy that you have that control, right? It drives you nuts. Yeah. Or being on a tall building being like, I could just throw myself off and nothing could stop me. I guess my point is that, uh, I see the Maddox documentary and I start having intrusive thoughts about, well, what if I torpedoed a popular podcast over some stupid petty drama? Or what if I see a guy like Boogie and I go, what if I just ate like an idiot and completely,

you know, became a big fat piece of shit and just ruined my life entirely? I go, well, it's Monday afternoon. What if I just do a little bit of cocaine? That's no big deal. I see all these guys and I I get, I'm terrified. Here's why Maddox drives me nuts. He made a lot of bad choices. Yeah, but I make bad choices.

No, man. He made like, the way he presents stealing the feed, that was the worst. That was the start where he just, he wanted to have ads on his podcast. So he said, well, I'm going to take the feed. Yeah. That was the worst. That was the start. Yeah. Where he just, he wanted to have ads on his podcast. So he said, well, I'm going to take the feed.

So did that make it so you couldn't use the feed to get to the old, were the old episodes still on there? No. He took the old feed that everybody had installed

on their phones, wiped it out, and put his one new episode of his podcast on. That's fucking insane. And that pissed everybody off. Yeah, because that makes no sense. Like, if you're a fan of the show, you want to listen to old episodes and shit. That's fucking insane. And that pissed everybody off. Yeah, because that makes no sense. Like, if you're

a fan of the show, you want to listen to old episodes and shit. That's what I told him. If you buy a Simpsons DVD box set, you don't one day put the DVD in and then it's like, hey, yeah, you're watching the Cleveland show. And you're like, wait, what the fuck? I want the Simpsons. But he just needed

that ad revenue, man. Like, ironically, putting ads on his podcast caused all of this. Yeah, finally putting ads up. A ton of people told him not to do that. I told him not to do that. Randy told him not to do that. Everybody told him not to do that. And fans, when they saw it, they were fucking pissed. And when I fired up the next episode, I said, he fucking stole

it. I, what do you want me to do? It's true. He fucking stole it. I think there could have been a reasonable compromise where each of you gets to add a little thing. That's what. You fucking stole it. I think there could have been a reasonable compromise where each of you gets to add a little thing. That's what I said. That says, yeah, Maddox puts up one and he goes, hey, if you enjoyed The Biggest Problem in the Universe, come on over to the feed for my new thing. Take my new show.

You can put up one that goes, hey, it's me, Dick. Yeah. I've also got a new show. Come check it out over here. If he would have done that, it would have been fine, too. But he wiped it out. Thanks for being fans of the show. But again, I see what Maddox is doing

And I also see Guys like Boogie I see all these guys who have fucked up Their little internet careers He's so bitter about his audience though Does he hate his audience? Because remember when he's doing the documentary This is going to be a totally honest documentary

And then he goes to get a job And he's doing bits And then afterwards he goes I have 4 million subscribers I'm not getting a job, and he's doing, like, bits. He's doing a shtick. And then afterwards he goes, well, I have four million subscribers. Like, I'm not getting a job. It's like, well, then what was that, man? Like, do you think you're better than us? Like, do you think you're better than people

that have jobs? Because you're not. You're worse. You entertain them. You're a fucking clown. You're worse than them. You might have more money, but you're worse.

The thing about Boogie that's bizarre is... I don't even think he knows he got he switches between oh my god i love my audience you guys keep me going you know you're everything to me yeah and then like hey here's a bunch of people for me to exploit for money and uh yeah again it comes down to that parasocial thing where like even and then i start having intrusive thoughts where i'm like again that's what drives me crazy is like you know people send me like a message and like oh veto i love you on this show i want to be a part of me he's like oh that's yeah exactly i want you to let me be your fucking rent boy and dress me up like a maid and whatever and part of me is like

oh that's so endearing a nice thank you yeah and there's like this secret sneaky part of me that's like ah i've emotionally manipulated this person into believing they like me because I'm a totally unlikable piece of shit. And, you know, I'm using them or whatever. And I'm like, no, you don't actually think that. Like, you like, I don't know, man. The thought crime people bother me so much because of this topic, intrusive thoughts. Because if you sell someone like uh imagine everything evil right like they will instantly do it like there's no that you can't

say that other you know some people are more are obsessed with it and they're compelled to do it and whatever but you can't say that you're that different than them it's just a degree i just i see what i see like maddox is self-destructive like i i understand i understand this belief of like i'm the victim here and no one else understands it now clearly maddox is a victim of his own making. Like, you did this because you acted like an idiot, you were petty and jealous, you destroyed a good thing, and then you, at every turn, thought you were morally justified.

Again, with the feed. I'm morally justified to delete all the old episodes because this is my show. I was the popular one. I made it happen. But the fans want the feed, not you. The fans should be my fans. Yeah.

Dick just, you know, betrayed me, so I'm owed everything. Yeah. And when someone goes betrayed me, so I'm owed everything. And when someone goes, well, you're not owed everything. Dick made that show happen. You're each equally a part of it. You don't own it. That's the other thing. In his documentary, he goes, it's my show.

I own it. He still believes that that show would have worked with anyone else. But it didn't. No, it didn't, because he made another podcast and it sucked he thinks like oh i could have pulled anyone off the street and as long as i was there it would have been a just as successful if not more so and it's like no it's one of these guys who doesn't realize like when you strike gold there's some guys who strike gold and they go oh my god i've struck gold this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and i'm gonna treasure this gold forever yeah and there's other

guys who strike gold they go ah easiest thing in the world being a miner so simple i'll just pick any rock in the world hit it with a stick and gold will come pouring out of it. That's what kind of pisses me off about Eric July, to unite all the villains together, is that I saw him. One is such a gold strike. Yes. A lot of things came together to make that. To behave in the way he has and argue with us, of all people, has been just wasting it and treating it like it's a reliable source

of, like, lightning every year. Like, well, I'll always get four million bucks. These fucking people will buy everything. I always compare it to the MC Hammer, man. It's like MC Hammer goes, it only goes up from here. Spend all the money. It's going to be Hammer time

for the rest of existence. And it's like, bro, all you needed to do was go, I'm going to make a comic, maybe two comics a year. I'm going to hire an go, I'm going to make a comic, maybe two comics a year. I'm going to hire an artist. I'm going to hire a letterer. Yeah.

Instead, he goes like, yeah, I'm going to, you know, again, it's these guys who think I've struck gold once, maybe even twice. Eric Gillespie is a guy who struck gold a couple times. He's got a popular YouTube channel. He's got a popular comic book. Maddox is a guy who struck gold a couple times. Okay. He had a popular website, popular podcast. And these guys get in their head.

They're like, I'm a genius. I'm a once in a lifetime man of all talents. Nothing I do can ever fail and it only goes up from here. And as somebody who has watched World War II documentaries more than once,

typical Nazi, as Maddox would say, one of your many Nazi followers, who has watched World War II documentaries more than once. Nazi. Okay. Typical Nazi. Typical Nazi, as Maddox would say, one of your many Nazi followers. You go, hey, that Hitler guy was on a roll for a while. You know? People said, well, you can't just take that over. Boom, take it over. Well, you can't just rush a bunch of tanks into there. Boom.

Okay? Hitler was high on his own supply, and went land war in russia in winter problem simple boom easy okay you guys see how well i can speak well i mean i don't think that's gonna cut it buddy i'm a great public speaker wrote a great book awesome mustache made some cool tanks everyone loves my book yeah everyone loves my book land war in russia let's do it okay and that's what these guys don't realize. It's like, yeah, you can get lucky a couple times, and you do have probably some innate talent

that enables you to exist or whatever. Yeah. But at a certain point, you have to understand that every fucking thing you attempt is a new and unique risk that could collapse on itself at any point. And I guess that's why maybe I don't have to worry about turning into Maddox

because you realize that. Yeah, because I'm terrified of everything I do. Okay? Everything I go into, I go, this is going to fail and I'm going to fucking die.

I'm going to die penniless in a gutter and that's it. Okay? Whereas guys like Boogie go, I'll just get the gastric bypass and then I can eat whatever I want forever.

It's like, no, that can fail too. You have to like maintain. I'll just start dating this fucked up 20-year-old. Nothing bad will ever happen if I date a 20-year-old woman who wants to be my nurse

and my angel of death. Well, that's why we all hate liberals, Vito, because you want to create an America where people are allowed to do that. That's true. Just fuck up and be retarded and then not suffer consequences. People should be punished for their hubris

and I accept that. Okay, is that your problem? Intrusive thoughts. That's a good one. Everyone list your intrusive thoughts. Super chat us your intrusive thoughts. I'm still worried. I know they're all about sucking dicks, and none of you will admit that either. I did have someone tell me, they're like, listen, I watched that Maddox documentary

and you need to watch out for Dick. He's dangerous. And I went, I don't think it's that bad. It's like, he'll betray you or something. I'm like, eh, maybe. He was showing the finances. I'm like, I'll probably betray him before that, you know? Yeah, he was showing the finances, you know?

The spreadsheets. And I'm like, oh, Vito's going to love this because I've fucked up every spreadsheet that I've sent Vito. Yeah. I'll send you spreadsheets and then you send me an email and you're like, hey, asshole, you owe me an extra $5,000. And I'm like, Dick, I don sent Vito. Yeah. I'll send you spreadsheets and then you send me an email and you're like, hey, asshole, you owe me an extra $5,000.

And I'm like, Dick, I don't owe you another $5,000. And then I point you to it and you're like, oh, never mind. We're good. Yeah, so.

I have an accountant, you know. I don't do math. Yeah, it was pretty great when you're like, dude, you forgot to give me the YouTube money. I'm like, dude,

it's on the spreadsheet. Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. If anything, I'm the one who's like. He says I stole $74. Yeah, that's the stupidest. $300 and it's like a rounding error. If you're going to say somebody stole Bitcoin, just say Bitcoin.

Don't say, well, they stole Bitcoin and $74. And $74. Well, now it seems kind of weird. Here's the other problem with Maddox. It's like, don't ever make a three-hour thing about every little thing someone's... because it's just whatever legitimate grievance you might have, it's like,

yeah, but you also called everyone a Nazi, so I just don't even care. Yeah. It's like, look, there's probably some shit you did that you might regret. Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like, okay, it was a contentious situation. Everybody was flinging was a contentious situation you know everybody was flinging shit uh but also you know it was like it was like how many years ago at this point seven years um showing it in 2016 years ago right yeah showing it in 2016 so some of the shit it's like

okay seven years ago dick said something that was kind of mean whatever like that's just a thing that happens and this is by the way everybody all of my friends are all calling me a psychopath and a sociopath behind my back i'm like okay yeah i probably would have gone insane as well and especially puts out that video and it's like all right war war is stealing the feed was big yeah and then when he put out his video when he did the rape list video and said that I ran a rape list, that pissed everybody off beyond reprieve. Well, that's the other thing is that everything he's mad about, it's like- You did that.

Well, you pissed off your fan base. Yeah. They were your fans and they liked you, but they also liked this other guy. Yeah. Okay? It's like, I can be a big fan of Yogi Bear, but if Yogi Bear killed Boo Boo, I would be mad at Yogi Bear. What the f-

You know? What? That's my Boo Boo. It's my Boo Boo. I can do whatever I want to Boo Boo. All right? It's like- Yeah, but you don't understand.

He stole the Bitcoin. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You killed Boo Boo, and now I'm mad at you, and I might leave negative reviews of your fucking book. You know what? You're all banned. I don't know why I went to Yogi Bear,

but it works. It's funny. It's called comedy. It's called comedy. Something Maddox just forgot how to, because he never knew how to do it. Right. He's making, doing tweets.

Look at how many tweets he had. It's the size of Niagara Falls and the Parthenon. Well, as Dick says, we're going to be talking about Maddox tonight. Please super chat your Maddox-related questions. Or your congratulations for my weight loss, which I'm sure has gone swimmingly at the end of the show. Right here. We'll see.

Let's just say I did my best. No one's allowed to give me shit about that. Well, you did your best this week. I mean, I did pretty good throughout. I had some hangups. We should do a thing where people can pay for you to weigh yourself.

Yeah. That would be every hundred, like a 50 bucks I get on the scale. Yeah. Shame me for it. That would keep you honest. Right. That might be,

that's a good bit. We need a list of things you can super chat for. Okay. We gotta figure that out. Let's do it. What's your problem, Dick? Chump syndrome. Chump syndrome. Yeah. Probably showing up to somebody's house and shooting through their door. Wow, you hopped

on this topic quick. I just see what these guys are doing for women Didn't this happen like an hour ago And you went, oh, that's a good problem for the show Yeah, because I saw him do it I'm like, oh fuck, that could be Maddox any day now If this video doesn't work, he's going to show up with a fucking shotgun Maddox is not a gun guy, right?

I don't think so He's like a traditional pussy kind of Well, is Maddox liberal? Was he liberal? Yeah He started off more He started more liberal and then he got very Virtue signaling Well for people who don't know what you're talking about

Dick Who is Hunter Avalon? A guy I don't know I think he's a bread tuber one of these like commie YouTube guys Oh that's what that means? Yeah I think bread tube I forget what it refers to He's a bread tuber, one of these like commie YouTube guys. Oh, that's what that means? Yeah, I think bread tube. I forget what it refers to.

He's just a guy. He's mostly like communist. His girlfriend broke up with a guy, and then they got together, Hunter Avalon and this woman, and then the ex-boyfriend. Hold on, hold on. So a girl broke up with her boyfriend. Yeah. And the girl is like a popular Twitch streamer, it seems like. Holly, is that her name?

Holly is her name, yeah. Holly? I don't know her Twitch name. Okay. And is her former boyfriend, was he like a Twitch Twitch streamer, it seems like. Holly? Is that her name? I think so. Holly is her name. I don't know her Twitch name. Okay. And is her former boyfriend, was he like a Twitch guy or something? No, I think he's like a game developer, maybe. Okay. Some kind of programmer. So either way, it was one of these traditional

fallings out where the girl goes, my boyfriend is an abusive piece of shit. I'm leaving him. And for some reason, everyone on the left believes that shit. Yeah. One on the right goes, we don't believe you, bitch. And within the month is dating popular YouTuber Hunter Avalon. He's a pretty well-known guy. And he's like saying, debate me, bro.

On what? I don't know. I mean, it's got to suck when your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately shacks over some fucking YouTube guy. However. See? Now you see why. Well, there's a way to handle that situation.

It's not showing up with a shotgun. Don't show up with a shotgun. Did you know. It's not showing up with a shotgun. Don't show up with a shotgun. Did you know what happened before he showed up with a shotgun? He put air tags in her luggage to track his ex-girlfriend to figure out where she was going. Only a game developer would think this many steps ahead. Yeah, I mean, that's a good quest. That's like a good GTA mission. GTA quest?

Yeah, put a tracker in this guy's luggage so you can figure out what house he's going to next. So he used the mini-map to find Hunter Avalon. And then he shows up with a shotgun. With a shotgun, a loaded shotgun. And then he shoots through the door and shoots her. Shoots her! Let's be clear, she's alive and she was

it seems like she only got hit in the leg. She's already got a GoFundMe. Okay? Nope, don't worry. Does she have a GoFundMe? She had it good. Before she even put Before the first piece of shrapnel she got the GoFundMe up. Fires the shotgun through the door. We assume to try and kill

Hunter Avalon. Yeah. Because that's what all the texts he was sending were saying. Instead, he hits her. So then she and him run out to the balcony. Run out to the back balcony. Because they're liberals, so the guy doesn't have a gun. How did this guy, did he just give up after he shot through the door? Because he could have burst in and killed them both.

Maybe he just didn't have the strength to kick the door down. Did you see he was still texting her after he shot the gun? Yeah, and she's like, surrender. I'm going to bleed to death on the patio. And he goes, why don't you just leave him? She goes, I will if you surrender. What a fucking... After you shoot the gun through the door,

it's not the time to start texting her and being like, well, I feel like I've made my point. That was my favorite part. I was like, there's texts. What? And I like that Hunter Avalon had Her in front of the door

While they were on the balcony Hey man Which is smart Cause like he doesn't Want to kill her right He doesn't want to kill her If he sees her He might not shoot again

Smart Yeah But looks bad So the guy shoots through the door Hits the girlfriend Might better look bad Than be dead though Then starts sending his

Well you know That's just how it goes Texts And then the cops show up. Hunter Avalon also hates. Yeah. I hate him too. We all hate the cops.

But in this case, they killed this guy who was trying to kill this YouTuber. Jump syndrome. Throw it all away. Don't throw it all away for a woman. That's crazy. Come on, man. There's multiple situations where, yeah, if there's a girl that you like and on man there's there's multiple situations where yeah if there's a girl let's go fuck that you like and she goes fucks another guy maybe find something else to do

man yeah i think ending your life it's a cat right yeah suicide is probably not or suicide by cop it seems like is the one way to handle it yeah another way is to be a petulant Go to strip club Bro Relax Don't worry about it Yeah did he rub one out And go hey I feel alright Why am I doing all this shit Yeah I could just jerk off

You think he posted that video And like he At some point Maddox Clicked upload in that video And was like Okay It's finally done Good job

And then there's 2000 comments Like acting like He's a rape survivor Like oh I'm so Sad you had I'm so Well yeah cause he's a rape survivor. Oh, I'm so sad you had... Well, yeah, because he's deleting any comment that calls him a fucking loser and a weirdo. Yeah. That's the thing is you scroll through the comments and you're like, oh, he's deleted anything that is even mildly critical of him.

So, yeah, don't bring a shotgun. Don't make a video about... Don't make a video about... You dumped her. She didn't dump you 12 years after it happened, bro. Don't do that. Don't do that one year after. Definitely don't do it 12 years after it happened, bro. Don't do that. Don't do that one year after. Definitely don't do it 12 years.

Yeah. The actual solution is to just go get a different girlfriend. She didn't dump me. I dumped her. I dumped her 12 years ago. Bro, that's fucking crazy that you would say that right now. And he had. And she's a pedophile because of Digibro.

Right. Whoa. She bought Digibro a cheeseburger So that means she's basically Didn't even buy him a cheeseburger Buy her a cheeseburger See he's got Digibro's not a pedophile

No And also The fact that Marie hung out with them Whoa What is it Just a free for all now You know what

Maddox put that in his video And it's got me all Oh I'm sorry I just watched the documentary And it's got me all... I'm sorry! I just watched the documentary and there's all sorts of names in there. It's crazy after she... Because he put her picture all over it.

I was like, well, we can post pictures of us now. Like, there's no reason. Because we've always just not because it's too many weirdos. But at this point, it's like, whatever. It's like, yeah, who cares? There's a video with 100,000... Also, in my mind, I'm like,

yeah, but I hate when comedians do that. When they get a girlfriend and they post it, I'm like, you fucking asshole. Yeah, I think once there's a video with 100,000. Also in my mind, I'm like, yeah, but I hate when comedians do that. When they get a girlfriend and they post it, I'm like, you fucking asshole. Yeah, I think once there's a video with 50,000 views on there, you can be mad at that rather than fucking me for doxing or whatever. No, no, you got to be. I don't get a pass. You got to lock it down. I'm trying my best anyway.

It's not funny then. You got to use nicknames because it's funny then. It is true. That's where Maddox fucks up too. Use people's real names. It's not funny. You got to use nicknames because it's funny then. That's where Maddox fucks up too.

Use people's real names. It's not funny. This whole situation is, yeah, don't be a chump. That's why I got my Maddox defense system right here. Has Maddox loaded? Maddox had that Jess girl for a second. She was crazy. You think she likes being used as a meat shield in this three-hour video?

Yeah, do you like? She's married. That's the other thing is that he goes, now listen, I don't approve of her calling around to places to try and get Dick's girlfriend fired, but that's not my fault. It's like, hold on. It's 100% his fault. Hold on. He forced her to do it. Well, also, let's be clear. He says that it's not his fault when his girlfriend that he lives with does crazy shit,

but it's your fault when anonymous internet weirdos you've never met in real life post shit on 8chan. That's directly your fault. My girlfriend? I can't tell her what to do. I don't know what she's doing at any point in time. I don't know where she got the names of all these schools. Hey, some guy on the internet posted something. That's Dick's fault. He did it.

That's directly him. And it's like, what the fuck? If you want to support Vito's comments, go to patreon.com slash biggest problem. Yes, please do. Yeah, he says you're responsible for everything, but he's not responsible for anything. Literally nothing. Yeah, nothing at all. Not even himself stealing the feed.

Yeah. Not even his own fucking lawsuit. I can't be responsible if you get kicked out of UCB. You did it. You did it. You did that. You knew who would see that video. You knew that it's all a bunch of LA pussy liberals.

Uh-huh. A rape list? I don't know what that is, but I'm- I hate it. The part where he goes, okay. You know that guy that you guys have known for like eight years? He's a rapist. Oh, wow.

Get rid of him. I promise not every problem on this episode is going to be about Maddox, but. It's just so crazy. Bro, the part where he goes. I've been talking about it for eight years, so don't worry. The part where he's, and he's posted this on Twitter before. He was so elated when there was that mass shooter. Yeah.

And there was like some random thing about how the mass shooter had a list of like girls he wanted to rape. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And something just snapped in Max's brain. He's like, finally, I can explain to everyone why a rape list is so it could lead to murder. And you're like, what?

Because one guy somewhere did something stupid. Did he want to rape Bugs Bunny in a dress also? Dude, yeah, that he tries to connect you to mass murderers. Hitler. Yeah. You're going to start a shooting spree. It says it's a Nazi book burning that we were doing. Not understanding that the purpose of the Nazi book burning

was to get rid of the writing and the thoughts. They banned those books. It wasn't burning it for fun, and then you can just go to Walmart and buy another one. Yeah, I'm sorry, Maddox. Did we burn too many books that nobody can get it anymore? Did we outlaw Fuck Wales or whatever?

That's not what the Nazis were. That's not the worst thing Hitler did. I can't believe that he tries to go. He burned six million books? What? No, it was Jews, actually. What? See, that's the problem with this whole thing, is that he... Just be real, but he has to make

these insane comparisons where he goes, and the reason the rape list is bad is because it leads to mass murder. And the reason burning my book is bad is because that's what Nazis do. And it's just like... The reason sleeping with my girlfriend is bad is because Satan would do that.

You know, it's like, okay, man, you don't need to make these like wild comparisons that compare your situation to being on par with the suffering of the Jews and the whatever during the Holocaust. Just say, yeah, he was a dick and he was, you know, in our show. I can't believe people are allowing the SS shit. You guys are, he put an SS logo on top of all these, all these fans. Yeah.

How is, that's way, way worse than someone, that's way worse than the Daily Stormer. They're doing it, ironically, partially.

No. This is just straight up SS logo. He did nail it, he did nail it. He did hang out with Nick Fuentes, though.

I love him. No, no. I'm not going to disavow Nick Fuentes, even if it will, even if it will help me, Vito. That's how deep my... Nick Fuentes sucks.

He does have you there. Nick Fuentes is just the worst. You only like him because he's funny. He is very funny. I rank funniness over everything. I know you do. He has excellent political insights. I don't agree with you. No, he doesn't. He does! What are his excellent political insights?

If you say them in a normal way. See, that's what it always is. It goes, no, no, he's just speaking in code. If you really nail it down, he's just talking about we need to rein in the economy. It's like, he said we need to burn a bunch of people in it. No, no, that was a metaphor or whatever. Stop with this. You can say anything you want.

You can say anything you want. The government should never treat someone like that, especially a kid. It's just totally, totally unconscionable. Say whatever you want. A kid. He's like 25 at this point. But they started when he was. They made him.

You know? They turned him into this by pushing him into the fringes where he has to adopt the extremes. I'm just giving Maddox more fodder for his next video. Your full-throated defense of Nick Fuentes. Should I just do a whole Hitler salute? I'm surprised you didn't put my dog doing a Roman salute. Well, that's the other thing. I watch that video and I'm like, oh, man, there's some good stuff he's missing.

He should be listening to every episode of this show. And Ralph didn't get any credit. He used all these kill stream clips and Ralph didn't get any credit. Well, I'm honestly surprised. Mr. Plagiarism. I'm glad that I showed up too late in the game to get my own chapter, because I'm pretty sure Maddox would have said, Andy does a podcast with a known sexual deviant.

Yeah, he nailed our boys in blue. God bless them. Spent all this time nailing Digibro to the wall. I'm like, eh, I escaped that treatment. All right, what's your problem? Chump syndrome. chump syndrome. Chump syndrome. Don't.

If a girl leaves you, the worst thing you can do is make a video about it. The second worst thing you can do is try to kill her with a shotgun. It's a little bit better than what Maddox did, but it's still bad. At least if you're going to shoot her, you've got to. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, that is disavowed 100%. Man, you're just giving Maddox everything right now. All right, what is my second problem here?

Oh, okay. Dick, I went to see the new Godzilla movie. Oh. Have you seen anything about that movie? Just that Godzilla's pink? No, that's the new one. That's the one that isn't out yet. Oh.

That's the American Godzilla. How many fucking Godzilla movies do we need? Well, Japan makes Godzilla movies and America makes Godzilla movies. The Japanese ones, I think, are better. The American ones are like- I feel like America should only make King Kong movies. That it's kind of like- Well, they've jammed Godzilla with King Kong now and they're friends in the American ones.

That's dumb. It is dumb. In the trailer, they're going to fight something else big. Wait, is that where they're both running? Yeah and they're friends in the American ones. That's dumb. It is dumb. In the trailer, they're going to fight something else big. Wait, is that where they're both running? Yeah, they're both running because they're like buddies. That looks stupid. Yeah. Well, Godzilla should be running like an iguana, you know?

Not like a fucking... You kind of have a good point. They should both be running like the Bushwhackers. Yeah, and Godzilla has a giant robot arm now. Sorry, King Kong has a robot arm. What? Regardless, we're not talking about the new American Godzilla. We're talking about the new Japanese Godzilla movie,

which is taking theaters by storm on only a $15 million budget. This movie looks incredible. I don't know how the Japanese are doing it so cheaply. I guess they just work for nothing. Because it looks like a full-on Hollywood... Well... You know what they don't have. All right, all right.

Anyway, I enjoyed... This is a film, and I won't give too many spoilers, but it's set in the aftermath of World War II. Is this a plug? Did you get paid for this? Go and see it now at Regal Theater. No.

It's called Godzilla Minus One because it's technically like a prequel to the original Godzilla. It's like... Oh, fuck off. That's why it says that? Godzilla Minus One? Yeah, I think so. It's like... Oh, fuck off. That's why it says that? Godzilla minus one? Yeah, I think so. It's like there's Godzilla and then there's...

Is there already a Godzilla zero? I think there is a Godzilla zero. At the end, like in Prometheus, does Godzilla go like... and like get formed? I think you're right. I think there is a Godzilla zero in Japan. I haven't seen that one. They should do Godzilla minus two. Yeah, well, then you can go even farther back.

Anyway, this is in the aftermath of World War II, so it deals a lot with, obviously, Japan after the war. The main character is suffering. You know, he was a soldier and all the people who died and families and whatever else. And I'm watching this movie. Nukes.

Yeah, nukes, of course. There was nukes. And also just regular firebombings and japan lost uh a ton of people uh and i watched like killing rape a bunch of chinese people was that a different war well i'm just curious in japan care there's a different group of japanese people not every japanese person those guys were friends of nankang but you know what that is a terrible thing that happened. So I'm watching this movie, and I'm like, wow, I really, you know, the main character's struggle feels very real to me. You know, he's seen so many people die.

His country's been bombed to hell. Yeah. Like, he's really, you know, and this is a real, because I was thinking about, like, Marvel movies, and I'm like, how come I never identify with the characters in those? You can't. You can't. They're just, like, how come I never identify with the characters in those? You can't. You can't. They're just like absurd.

Well, yeah, but my thought was I went, part of the problem is that all the like Marvel characters are like Americans. So anything they're suffering, it's like, oh, I'm kind of like, my daughter is like, you know, estranged from me now. Oh, yeah. Like, oh man, like it's hard to run this giant Apple type fucking corporation. Me, Tony Stark. Oh my God. I make billions of dollars from weapons. Yeah. And I went, Oh, my butt stinks. All the problems they're dealing with is like

stupid family shit. It's not the loss of millions of lives like other countries. So my problem should do a Godzilla in Palestine. Well, my problem is American privilege. Is that we... Of course it is. That's your entire party platform, Vito. Well... You want to end the American privilege. I don't want to end the American privilege,

but I think that it needs to be acknowledged and talked about. And it's part of the problem that we as Americans, no matter like what Shut up! No, you'll like this problem. Okay? Okay. And I'll tell you why. Okay. Because all the people

who complain about, oh, America is so racist and there's no opportunities and it's the worst country in the world You see the Chinese video and the black people get off the bus, like the basketball team get off the bus and they're just yelling the N-word. Yeah, yeah. You go, if you really

think about it, all these people will go, oh my God, America, and we treat minorities so badly and whatever else. It's like, bro, this is infinitely better than like 99% of the planet. We actually made a whole stratosphere of

only minorities so the government could use them to control every aspect of American corporate life called DEI. You guys are doing great. You're doing great. You're way better than you should be doing. We're lifting you way up higher than maybe some of you need to be lifted. I got a couple stats. The point is, I've always felt...

Shut up. They're not those kind couple stats. The point is, I've always felt, shut up, they're not those kind of stats. I've always felt this way, though, where I'm like, you know, I'll be like, oh, man, I can't believe, like, you know, I got to go to work in the morning. Or like, oh, I can't believe, you know, I go to the store and they're sold out of whatever sugary fucking beverage I want. Has your water fast made you feel like this? No.

Because you had to, like, resist temptation for a couple days? Well, I've just always, no, because I've always had this like thing is like at the end of the day, I always go, bro, you're a white guy living in America. Like, no matter what happens, you're going to have a pretty good time. It's like I always bring up the point of like, if I

want a cookie, no matter what time of day, it can be 3am. If I want a cookie, I can just get one. And throw it away. And throw it away. This cookie sucks. In other countries, if you want a cookie, it's like a once-in-a-lifetime treat. I mean, this is-

The cookie man comes to your village and you spend all your fucking mud dollars to get that once-in-a-year cookie. For me, I just have constant excess. Anything I want, access to medical care. This is capitalism, though. Yeah, it will capitalism. That's what it made. Yeah, but it gave us this.

But that's the problem is that we always go looking to be like, we have to complain about it for some, oh, man, life sucks, and like prices and inflation or whatever. It could be better. Gas price. It could be better. But it's still pretty fucking good. No, you shouldn't compare yourselves to other people in good and bad.

The average life expectancy in the United States, Dick, you want to guess? 81? You were actually close before. 73.5. Oh, wow. Other countries, you know, if you go to Japan, it can get up to like 80-something or whatever. But compare that to Somalia, 53. Nigeria, 52. 53, 52, and Chad, 50.

That's the average life expectancy. Imagine if I told you, hey, at 50, you're going to just fucking die because you live in Chad. Congrats. You'd probably be pretty pissed about that. You'd be like, fuck, that sucks. I got seven years left. Yeah, you got seven years left. Have fun with them.'m not gonna be able to see all of maddox's uh videos about me average salaries dick yeah united states you got any idea average salary this is average

five thousand dollars it's actually uh because average it gets brought up a lot because all the big time guys really i should It's higher than that? Yeah, it's $76,000. Huh. Wow, that's a lot more than I thought. Well, average, you got to consider all the 1% brings it up. Regardless, let's compare a couple other of our neighbors. Even if you went to Canada, you're immediately going down to $53,000.

You're losing, what is that, $23,000 just by crossing a border to Canada? Yeah. Okay. Meanwhile, you talk about China. China's taking a- Canada's fucked. Yeah, well. They're so fucked.

Did you know the UK, it's $48,000? It's even lower. That's really low. That's really low. Average UK. Although they got a what? A lot of immigrants now probably bringing it down? Yeah, they have a pretty big problem over there.

Meanwhile, you really want to dig into it. Palestine, average salary, $4,600. That's Israel's average salary. I have Pakistan, $1,580. I didn't get Israel. $1,580? $1,580 a year in Pakistan. Meanwhile, of course, the next world superpower, India,

clocking in at $2,3 course, the next world superpower, India, clocking in at $2,380. $2,300. It's crazy that they want to average out the whole planet. I'd say, and also I wanted to bring up, so again, I was watching this Godzilla movie, and the other problem is like, in America we're always like, oh, our tragedies.

9-11, can you believe it? 9-11. George Floyd, that was a pretty big tragedy. Yeah, it was one guy. I mean, it sucks, but you look at other countries, it's like, well, more than one guy died last week. Okay, Dick, do you know how many people died in 9-11? 2,000?

3,000, according to my... That might include cancers. I don't know. Yeah. But, you know, that's pretty bad. Then we went to Iraq and killed 200,000 people. A lot of us were bankers, though. Yeah, that's true.

So it's not as bad. And then we killed 200,000 Iraqis, which seems equivalent, right? That seems low. That seems low. I thought it was like a million. I saw some estimates of like 320,000. Yeah. Okay.

We talk about, oh, World War II, we sacrificed our boys, sacrificed so much in World War II. We did lose 416,000 soldiers. That's a lot. That's a lot compared to 24 million Russians. It doesn't sound nearly as close. Not to mention, of course, 24 million people. And then, of course, the 600 million Jews who died. That's also terrible.

That's anti-Semitic, what are you saying? Is that anti-Semitic? What are you saying? Is that anti-Semitic? What are you talking about? There's 600 million. Even our like, but then our like stateside tragedies. That's the other thing. All our guys who died in World War II were like guys who went to that thing, you know? Yeah. We didn't have like civilians getting bombed

and shit. We had 2,400 died in Pearl Harbor. Oh my God. Pearl Harbor. We're going to make a whole movie about the 2,400 dead. Shouldn't have had a military base there. Meanwhile, our nukes in Japan killed 226,000 people. Civilians. Okay. Civilians. Just average Japanese people

like, hey. I don't know how people still defend that. Like, well, we had to do it. I don't know. Man, there's never. Dude, no. That doesn't matter, actually. Even if you had to do it. It's not. This trolley problem you have constructed in your head is fucked. You actually don't have to because everyone in America has a fucking gun. So you never need to do anything.

So I think the problem that we have in America is that we always are trying to construct, like, you know, like. Like a woe is me thing? Yeah, woe is me. We'll make a movie. Is that why America has, like, glommed on to the Holocaust? Yeah. As, like, this just our thing to like. Yeah, we've kind of, dude, honestly.

It kind of feels like it. I think it's like, because I saw the survey today. We want a Holocaust, subconsciously. Yeah. Subconsciously, if there was like a Holocaust in America, then everyone in America could go, yeah, I had an uncle die in the American Holocaust. And you go, oh my God.

Like the Avengers, the bloop. Everyone really believes that. Everyone wants the bleep and they want it to blip and they want it to actually happen. Half of America disappears and everybody else in America gets to constantly go, well, see, I've suffered tragedy as well. I had an aunt who got blipped. On 9-11, he's like,

why are all these people telling their stories about this so passionately? Because everybody wants this to happen to them. Everyone in this country wants to be that person. He's like, that's really fucked up. You don't even need someone to have died in 9-11. It's just literally, I was living in New York. I was in New Jersey when it happened.

And I saw it, and it came. Even school kids go, I remember when they showed us. They were in the car. Or like the Challenger disaster. Yeah, it sucks that like a fucking space shuttle exploded. But you think just because you were sitting in a classroom and a teacher put it on, you had to watch a space shuttle explode? Like that's your personal tragedy that you're going to carry? Again, 24 million Russians.

And they seem to not even talk about it that much. Everyone, Mr. Burns got shot. Yeah, that impacted me. We do not acknowledge our American privilege of, like, even the worst shit that happens to you in America. Like, yeah, it sucks, and there's racism, and there's shootings, and whatever else. Literally like any other country.

Billions of people are dying. They have no money. They have no health care. Yeah. And they can't get a fucking cookie at 3 a.m. Well, they just don't have our, you know, our American media that's trying to divide everyone and keep us

like anxious all the time. Again, yeah. Well, telling that, you know, telling certain marginalized communities, you live in the most racist, divisive country on earth. It's like, bro, we are giving you guys a lot of cool stuff. It's pretty cool to just be able to get a TV for like 50 bucks off the street

and, you know. Or heart surgery. Yeah. Free internet, free cell phone, you know. Yeah. But there's some homeless people. Motherfucker, go to any other country. They got a lot of homeless people. Could be better, though. It could always be a little bit better. Could be a little better. But I think we don't do enough acknowledging of

how good, it is pretty good compared to other periods of time and other parts of the world and just the fact that you're probably not going to die in a horrific bombing or terrorist attack. You thought about this during the Godzilla movie? I did. You're like, oh, wow. I really don't know how good I have it. Well, because I went, why is this, why?

The sisterhood of the traveling pants for you. I honestly went, I was like, this character, the main character who's like suffered through all this, you do identify with a character where you're like, oh, this hardship is real. Like, I want this guy to succeed because he's went through some fucked up shit. Okay. And then I watched like a stupid Marvel movie and Ant-Man's like, my daughter doesn't respect me anymore. My dick didn't get big again.

It stayed shrunk. You know, the Hulk. Oh, I turn into a monster sometimes. Yeah, it's all about their daughter respecting them. That's like the American. My wife is leaving me. Fucking crucible. My girlfriend is with a stronger, smarter man.

Like, that is the kind of thing that makes it. Yeah, okay. We're going to bring it back to Maddox again. I got to balance my superhero life with my fucking home life. Maddox, the worst thing that ever happened to you is you lost your internet podcast, failed, and you made a three-hour documentary. Why don't you make a three-hour documentary about the fucking Japanese internment camps or something?

Well, that would be an American thing. How about the Armenian Genocide? The Armenian Genocide. Make something real. Now I know how that happened. Yeah. Woe is me. American privilege. Look, I a real one. Yeah. Woe is me. American privilege.

Look, I'm not saying that you can't complain about this. Yes, there's certain things we should fix in this country. But you also got to go. Well, not we.

You shouldn't be involved in the fixing. You shouldn't be voting on it at all. Well, more taxes, more regulations. We'll get there eventually. Hunter Avalon,

you think he's going to ever say anything about guns again? I don't know. Actually, I think we should loosen up the gun laws quite a bit. I think Hunter Avalon, I hope you're safe, buddy. I don't know a lot about that guy.

You think he waited to start filming? It would be too obvious if he whipped it out right away and started filming, or he waited until he had to wait a little bit I can't even knock him because like I have to respect the fucking YouTube mentality of

I gotta get this I mean a guy's shooting a gun at me I gotta get this on camera yeah probably be like a reflex I have the same mentality but we have the same thing cause we go to these fucking like you know we went to the Black Lives Matter protests and shit and people are like what are you doing I'm like getting footy man getting, what are you doing? I'm like, getting footy, man. Getting footage. What are you doing? Nothing.

Just running around. Getting footage is awesome. When there was that mass shooting in my neighborhood, I tried to live stream it. You know? I don't know if you ever watched that. No. There was a... Maybe I did. I don't remember. Did you hear that Asian... Remember that Asian guy went to a dance studio and killed a bunch of people? Yeah. And they're like, that happened like 20 minutes

from you. I'm like, oh, dude, let's go. Maybe I'll see a body or something. People were mad at me for trying to get that on camera. Somebody got shot. They took an Uber hostage down the street from me. I heard about that. Yeah. Bad day for that guy. Did they kill the guy or they got him out of the car or something? I think they killed him.

SWAT came in. Good old SWAT. I was going to go down there. You should have been a hostage. You should have said, I can handle this. Just tapped on the cops. That's my Uber, man. You should have said, hey, did your girlfriend just leave you for a stronger man? Just let it go, buddy.

You don't need to do this. Let's go, man. Just let it go. How about a support line for Trump syndrome? Okay, so my problem is, oh my God, it's an hour and a half already. My last problem is work holiday parties. When have you been to a work holiday party? Fucking never, man.

That's my problem. You work from home? Oh, you want to go to one? We need a jobless. That's your problem? A work holiday party for people with no jobs. That's a pretty good idea, actually. That would be great. I don't know. I just put it in there so it's topical and people will vote for it. It just seems like getting... Dick who

works from home. It just seems like getting... Dick who works from home. It just seems like playing just the tip, right? Like, come on out. There's an open bar, obviously. You can't drink any. I mean, you know, you're only going to get... You can't get too shit-faced because then everyone's going to talk about it.

Yeah. I did go to a... I used to work for a website and they would have everybody fly in, even though most of us were remote. All the remote workers, they flew us to Florida for this big all hands thing. I don't know if I told this story already, but they're all excited because they had this new vision for the company and they wanted to present it to everybody.

And they're like, and we got this guy from Microsoft. And he was like this big name, like executive. He was like an Indian guy, you know, like a, I don't know if he was a pro former programmer or something, but he was like an engineer or something, but he was also like a business guy. It was like, he's going to be leading the charge. Like, we're so excited to have this guy on board and, uh, you know, everybody have a good time.

And that guy's like, yeah, it's going to be great. You know? And he starts drinking, you know? And, uh, you know, we're all drinking a little bit. This guy was just drinking, just drinking. And, again, it's like his first week there, everybody is so amped up. They're like, this is the guy. This is the guy.

This is the guy who's going to save the company. And he starts going to all the, like, female interns and being like, you look – Bob's Vagina. Bob's Vagina. Yeah. You look good. Oh, no.

You look so – you know, you're like – like, that skirt is like so good on you. And we're all just going. So it was literally. It can only go bad. Yeah. You should have, there should be like a scanner. Dude, he was fired a week later. Cause he like hit on all the girls and he got so fucking drunk that like, I remember

we had to, we were like fucking, he was on our arms, like literally like comically dragging him to his hotel room. Yeah. And I was like, bro, you're like the big time executive. We just got this big old job. Like you can't just get drunk out of your mind at the holiday party and start lecherously hitting on all the teenage interns. How could it possibly go well?

You get everybody out there, especially it's after a long day of work usually is right when you're itching to go on vacation. Yeah. You're wanting to get loaded. And it's like counting down and going three, two, one. Or three, two, one and a half, one and three quarters. You're antagonizing us by doing this. Make it like an eyes wide shut thing where you have to go in masks.

That would be good. So nobody knows what's going on. Yeah, nobody knows what's going on. It's a disaster. Either that. Seems horrible. Yeah. And you got to go home from work, then go back out.

Just do it at work. Have a day party. It doesn't matter. Just get a cake. Black out the. And a couple bottles of liquor and let everybody sing a song to Santa. Yeah. I don't know, man.

We don't work in offices. We can't identify with the average worker. Well, I think it's a good problem, though. Maybe people will identify with it on their own. Look at you trying to identify with the common man. We're internet comedians. We don't live real lives. Oh, God.

I just dick around and engage in fucking drama with insane comic creators and weirdo fucking Armenians. I don't know if there are any normal lives left. I hope our audience is living them. I hope you have families and friends. Yeah, they're like furries driving trucks listening to a show with cat ears that are controlled by their brain. Hopefully you don't have to worry about someone putting out a three hour documentary about how you slept with the wrong woman

at one point, you know? Hopefully that's something you'll ever experience in your life for any fucking reason. That 100,000 people are watching? Yeah, exactly. This guy's an asshole. Hopefully you have never had 80,000 people watch a documentary about how you slept with somebody's girlfriend,

ex-girlfriend, and ruined their life. And you're a Nazi. And everybody you know is a Nazi. That's a fair thing. It's crazy. Maddox kind of invented this guilty by association thing. The first rape list that he did had the same kind of stuff on it. Yeah.

He's just been building, he's just been making a new version of this every couple years. And if that isn't bad enough, his fans of the show have a rape list. So tons of people will love it because they're like, this is exactly what we want to see. Do you remember

that you got confronted about the rape list at the Netflix protest? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know why you don't bring that up. She was a good, she invented

the resting bitch face song. She was a really good friend of mine. Yeah, after your head got slammed into a ball, you're all dazed and that random lady comes running up to you and she goes I think she had a sex change. She's a, sorry, I think

whatever. Now it's a man? I think it's a man now. Why did I say it? I'm getting canceled for that. Now she is well, actually wait, now they are a man. Yeah, she ran up, she goes, he has a rape list. Aren't you Dick Madison? Don't you have a rape list? And you're like, bitch, I just got my head slammed into a fucking thing. What is a rape list?

What do you mean? Why is this the time to talk about this? She was like, hold on, I know him. Something in her was like, I have to protect this person, but you have a rape list. I can't believe they held onto that chestnut. I like Dave, and jokes are funny, actually. Well, I'm actually working on a new rape list. If anyone, I've got a list of all my top rapes. If anyone has any suggestions...

If I had a rape list, it'd be all girls from video games. Yeah, exactly. I've got news for you fucking fat hoes. Tifa, Laura Croft. I don't think I could rape Samus Aran. That sounds like a lot of work already. Actually, my rape list is all the women I want to rape me from the video game. I want Samus Aran to hold me down and turn me into a morph ball.

Great problem, Dick. Office holiday parties. What am I talking about? Terrible problem. Go to biggestproblem.show. No one identifies with that. None of our listeners working in an office. They're all driving big rigs.

Drugs. Bumper jack stuff yeah they're all stopping at truck stops and fucking sucking their way across america okay here we go here we go get your super chats in folks being stuck behind black people to drive through yeah wait a minute i got one that's worse than those being stuck behind black people's drive-thru. And that's being stuck behind a fat woman in one of those mobility carts in the supermarket. Oh. At the checkout line. Oh, at the checkout line, too.

I keep wanting to use those mobility carts when I go to the store. You should. There was that one time I threw out my bag and I had to drive that cart around Disneyland. I went, I get it. It is fun to just drive a little go-kart. Did you not get it before? Well, because I was always like, oh, that's, you know, for like the disabled, I'm not going to get, you know. But then when you're actually in it, you're like, oh, man, I just have like a little car.

This is cool. Does it go at a good speed? Because those scooters go way too fast. The scooters are pretty fast. You have to pay attention all the time. I don't know about the ones in the store. The scooters? Oh, yeah, because they have them at the store.

Yeah. Right? They have ones that are charging up, and I'm always like... I go to the Mexican store, so I haven't seen them in a long time. Yeah. No, I see them at Target. You could probably steal magic cards pretty good with one of those. I was going to stop a disabled guy.

Okay. Let's see. Speaking of which, I had the best magic card opening this week. Oh, my God. What'd you get? Do you know Force of Will? Have you ever heard of that card? No.

It's like the top card in this set. Uh-huh. And I ordered a box for $150. Yeah. I got three of them. In the box? In the box! How much does it weigh?

Each of them is like $60. How much was the box? The box was $150, so three cards have paid for more than the box. Are you going to sell them? Maybe at some point. I might sell a couple. How much of stuff do you sell that you get? I wait for the prices to...

I just traded in like $400 worth of cards online. What are you going to get with this if you win this $1,200? Oh, what am I going to get with the $1,200? I don't know. I'm not supposed to spend it. I guess I should get with the $12,000? With your weight loss that we're... I don't know. I'm probably just, I mean, I don't know. I'm not supposed to spend it. I guess I should spend it frivolously, right? It's fun.

Well, you can. I should treat it like fun money. I mean, that's kind of a woman term. I don't use concepts like fun money. Fun money. Well, I'll tell you this. I'm going to... I know I have to spend a certain amount of my Patreon increase on Christmas present.

On what? About getting steak? No. Okay. I sent a text to you and Josh Denny because he wanted to go to Clearman's. Let's do it. Maybe this weekend? You busy this weekend?

Probably. Maybe not this weekend, but let's do it. All right. I want to get a steak at least. I'm going to go to some restaurants. I'm going to gain it all back. You're going to use it to eat. I'm spending a hundred bucks at Clearman's.

I'll tell you that right now. Let me see if people want you to win. I'm getting a ribeye. I'm getting... Let it all back. You're going to use it to eat. I'm spending a hundred bucks on Claremons. I'll tell you that right now. Let me see if people want you to win. I'm getting a ribeye. I'm getting. Let me post a poll. I might get the fried calamari for the table. They got a pretty good fried calamari. Do you want Vito to win the weight loss? It's so weird.

Okay. This whole weight loss thing is terrible and I hate it because all the comments are like. It was your idea. No, it was not my idea. When was it my. That was your idea. Fuck you. Okay. all the comments are like your idea no it was not my idea when was it my that was your idea fuck you okay all i see is comments like oh i really hope veto does it you know i feel like all these people it's like i'm like the barometer for whether or not the world is a is a safe and

kind place yeah yeah you are because in a lot of ways if i failed and there's no reason for like oh well that's just life. Everybody fails. Why does this all hinge on me? Let me fail. Because the bar is so low. The bar is so low. All you have to do is lose 30 pounds in six months and you're so big. It should be easy.

I want Vito to succeed, but I'm really worried he's going to fail. Why do you care at all? Just shut up. Because it would be such a loss for everyone. It's not a loss for everyone. It'd be like if Indiana Jones got shot at the end of... No, I'm not... You're right. Everyone's treating

this like it is watching a fucking movie. Well, it is. I'm not the hero of some stupid weight loss movie where at the end of it, if I don't... At the fucking live show, when I didn't make weight at the live show I saw people's faces just go like there's just no point

to any of this. Everyone fails. Nothing ever gets any better. And I'm like, guys, it's just a fat guy who didn't run on the fucking treadmill for a couple weeks. Some people were fucking crestfallen. That's not worth $1,200 to people. Whatever. People are very invested.

Even if I don't make it, okay. It's going to be total. It's a total loss. It's not a total loss. It's a big loss. It's a big disappointment for a lot of people. That's stupid. I lost weight, and that's what matters.

But it's not good enough, though. It is good. You have to hit the goals. You have to hit milestones. I came close to the goal. Your comic's late. That's disappointing to people. That's getting dealt with, and it's going to be fucking great.

And look. I mean, now that AlphaCore's out, the art in that looks like a little goofy, man. The art in AlphaCore looks good. Your art looks good. I really like the art of my book. I really like it. I love that guy. And I talked to that guy.

The story's way better. My artist, look, he was working on two comics at the same time. And the other comic, he started on it before mine, so he's like, I just gotta finish this. But he said the other one's 100% done and now he's 100% getting super killer work done. That's what happens when you use a real

artist and not 3D sketch up. Well, that's what other people, they're like, I don't get it. They're like, why don't you just get another artist? I'm like, because I want a good artist. That's not how art works. Why don't you just get another guy? Just get a different guy. Then it'll look like shit. Or I'll have to spend months.

That's what they don't understand. Why don't you just replace you in the middle of the podcast? Just hop up. Some other guy's going to come in here. Tony from Hacked a Movie is going to come in and sit down. Guys, I went through hundreds of... Literally, I through like hundreds of artist portfolios for a month. Yeah. And I went, this guy sucks, this guy sucks, this guy sucks, this guy sucks, this guy sucks, this guy sucks. Holy shit. And I found the one guy who's like perfect.

Right. All right. And if he tells me, look, man, I need a little extra time. It's like, you know what? I want it to be good, so sure. That's it. I mean, it's funny. We're making art, okay? We're not making sprockets and widgets the way Eric July is. Ralph does this new thing where

he listens to Eric July and he is his black hype man or his southern hype because Ralph's from Memphis, so he's like... Oh, he has the whole mentality. mentality yeah he's blacker than eric right like his his pattern he's like oh yeah man yeah you gotta move it man you gotta move that no man they crazy like he does you gotta get that shit like he's been doing it his whole life yeah and he said in the middle of it he starts laughing he goes it's crazy that he's talking about comic books like he's talking about selling drugs yeah he's like always talking about like product and customers

he's like talking about slanging you gotta keep moving that product yeah he does the product dude that was the craziest thing about shuck dixon's fucking little love letter to eric at the end of alpha core about how excited he is for the fucking rip averse he goes and the best excited maybe it will work okay but did you see what he ends his letter with no he goes the best thing about eric is that he pays me on time. And I'm like, that's the best fucking thing? I'm like, dude, anybody? I mean, look, I get it.

It's funny. All right? I get it. But it's all about the money, man. At the end of the day, I'm like, well, at least Chuck Dixon said, hey, at least I'm getting a steady paycheck here. Eric settled. Eric settled his lawsuit. He traded his rock star slash retarded lawyers for actual

lawyers and then immediately did what I said. Well, you know what? I put out a tweet. I don't know if he'll even... I don't know if he's going to address the lawsuit. He shouldn't. He shouldn't, but if he does, he's going to go, see, my rock star lawyers handled it despite what those Buster Baxter and his fucking

tortoise friend were saying. Yeah. If he tries to lord it over us, the fact that he was involved in a fucking trademark dispute. So he's admitting guilt. Yes. So he is guilty. Right. The settlement is admitting guilt. And two, he never proved that we did anything after all that shit about threatening to sue us.

So all he had to do in the very beginning was not say anything and settle. Yeah. Instead of using us as a marketing tool for all these fucking. Not even a useful marketing tool. He has. Nobody ever even apologized to us. Right. Assuming that we did it.

They're not going to because they're assholes. I was glad that Nick Ricado on his show. What was it last night? Oh, yeah. It was just like. Yeah. Yeah. But he was like, hey, I know everybody in the griftosphere hears like fucking, oh, Dick

and Vito are bad guys and did this horrible thing. And he's like, I'm the only guy who thought to ask Eric, do you have any evidence of that or proof? Can I see it? And the fact that I asked to see it means I'm a bad guy now. They're like, Nick, you shouldn't ask for proof. You should just believe Eric July when he says Dick and Vito did this. I can't handle it. We don't even care. even care we're just like yeah you're ripping it off I don't better settle I can't handle this shit again did I bring this up where somebody left a comment

they're like Vito you know you seem to have a lot in common with these guys you hate Star Wars I don't know why you guys can't just be friends and I'm like because they're liars and assholes like what do you not get about that? Okay? And I don't even really like hate them, hate them. It's just like, I can't hang out with people that fucking stupid. No, cause you know they're gonna turn on you and it's like, oh, that guy was saying that you got him sued. Like, I don't even know what that means.

What do you mean? He's breaking the law. They're like, I just think you should go on Friday Night Tights and you should go on Yellow Flash's show and you guys should be friends and I'm like, they're fucking retarded They hate us though They hate me Let's be real they hated me

Before I hated them Well you did that Alex Jones shit that was out of line But yeah I did do that but even before that Like they had problems with me They were attacking me before that So they were attacking me and then I said Okay I'll attack them back. And be like, ooh, look, they have Alex Jones on.

I didn't realize that was going to blow everyone's mind. And now we find out that DMCAing people is just fucking cool anyway. That's fine, yeah. Yeah. Oh, what did Vito do? Oh, he made like one stupid tweet he shouldn't have made. But hey, Eric can legitimately get people banned off Twitter and YouTube all day long. That's fine.

And that's cool, because he's like a cool black guy or whatever. What the fuck? Yeah, okay, so fuck. He's fine. And that's cool because he's like a cool black guy or whatever. What the fuck? Yeah, okay. He's DMCA. People all over the place. Fuck you guys so fucking hard because I caught so much shit for one tweet from which nothing occurred. No one lost any channel.

No one got banned from anything. And it isn't reporting. No, it wasn't reporting. It's snitching, but it's not reporting. Dude, I know. Like, honestly, like they have the report function of YouTube. And I said, well, I'm not going to report the stream, but I'll put out like a funny tweet because it's funny.

And I caught so much shit for that, but now Eric can just go and get everyone's fucking YouTube and Twitter banned. That's crazy. It's crazy that they just let that slide. You know what you learn about these spaces? It's always rules for those guys, no rules for me. Rules for the not for whatever.

Well, it's like Maddox doxing 5,000 people and calling them Nazis. Are you guys like, how is nobody saying this? Hey, it's okay to beat your kids, but if Dick makes a joke about hitting a dog, he's now officially a guy who beats dogs. Yeah. He brings that up constantly. Everybody goes, hey, Maddox, I think you're kind of being an asshole. He's like, oh, you're siding with a guy who wants to beat dogs?

I'm like, he wants to beat dogs because of one joke he made like five years ago? You have an article about beating your children. And you actually think that. You actually think that. It's all fucking insane. I've had dogs my whole

life. You're so nice to that fucking dog. You would never hit that dog. My dog has better health insurance than Maddox. Yeah. You're so nice to that fucking dog. You would never hit that dog. My dog has health and my dog has better health insurance than Maddox. Yeah. You're better than those dogs than I am to my cats. My cats, I'll bop them on the fucking head if they're driving me nuts. You'd get them off though. I wouldn't

get my dog off. Yeah, exactly. I'm very nice to my dog. That's why because I'm a more compassionate pet owner than you. Because you would never jerk off your dog. You know, we've been talking about Invincible so much. It just reminded me how you think they're going to have Mark That's what I'm saying. Because you would never jerk off your dog. You know, we've been talking about Invincible so much, it just reminded me how, um, do you think they're going to, like, have Mark get raped like he actually does in the comics?

Spoiler alert! Is it going to happen? I kind of want Mark to get raped. You think that Mark's going to get raped in the cartoon? In the Invincible cartoon? Yeah. I'm not going to talk about it. But do you think he is?

No spoilers. No spoilers. I don't know if that's if that's not really a spoiler. That's like something to look forward to. I hope he gets raped. Spoiler's like a plot twist. That doesn't change my enjoyment of the show. I'm like, oh, he's going to get raped?

Wow, cool. Awesome. All I can say, Invincible's pretty good. Hot chick, too, right? Not fat chick. And I'm excited to see once Super Killer gets the animated adaptation. Yeah. If Eric gets that Alpha Corps cartoon And I'm excited to see once Super Killer gets the animated adaptation. Yeah. If Eric gets that Alpha Corps cartoon, I'm going to laugh so hard.

I found out that Superman, the green Superman ripoff, is like the hero of the cessation war of Texas. Oh, he like helped Texas secede. Is that it? Which is cool. That is cool. Yeah. That's a good idea. That's cool.

Seems like all this shit should be about Alpha Corps. IZOM sucks. Yeah, just make it about the cessation. I don't see black yeah. That's a good idea. That's cool. Seems like all this shit should be about AlphaCore. ISOM sucks. Yeah, just make it about the... I don't see black guys fighting outside of a nightclub. I lived in Hollywood for eight years. People keep asking what's my favorite part of ISOM? A secession war is a good... That's a good piece of plot. Yeah. I'll give you that one, Eric. Yeah. That's cool.

I love American civil wars. You gotta have it happen. Alright, what are we doing? More... Nah, let's do Super Chats. Do Super Chats. We'll do Super Chats and then... Are we saving the weigh-in for the end?

Should we do it right now? Because then people won't Super Chat so they can get the results. I was going to say... Should we do it right now so people can make fun of you or congratulate you? Sure. All right, give them a drum roll. Okay. You ready?

You are at 310. 310.4. So you need to be at, what is it? 280. 280.4. .4. I have a new scale that you've weighed yourself on. You had six months.

What's the final total that you're going to be out or you're going to make, provided that the smart contract works? I don't think we tested it. How do you feel? I fucking hate you. I hate this whole process.

How do you feel? Fucking pissed. What? Let me see what people said about if you're going to make it or not. Fuck this whole fucking thing. I don't even want to do this. They said, do you want Vito to win the weight loss contest? Shut up.

65% said yes. Yeah, sure. 34% said no. It's changing rapidly. Okay, end the poll. Wait, I need to get a longer drum roll. Oh, fuck this shit. Just fucking...

Ten minute... No, not ten minute drum roll! Ten minute drum roll. Will you just fucking read it? Hold on, I need to see if this works. See, you shouldn't read it, because I'm not going to want to do the rest of the show now. What do you mean? Why?

Because I'm going to fail, and it's going to suck. Okay. Are you ready? No. I don't even want to look. Good. Because it's so exciting and I don't want to be, I don't want the anticipation to be over. You know?

Oh. It's just been such a, it's been such like a staple of my life for the last six months. You have to be on camera You can't be over there people have to see your face You're delaying it by walking around I'm gonna open it you want to 80s girl has boxed it and drawn exciting lines around it. Your weight after six months and it has to be below, it has to be below... 320 pounds. It has to be below 280.4. You never gave me this point.

And you remember that when we started... You never gave me this point four. I don't remember that. That was the measurement, Vito. It was point eight. Don't try to Palestine your way out of this. The first measurement, you had not lost...

I think you lost one pound, right? We were going through the whole fucking timeline. And the second measurement, you lost 10 pounds. Yeah, that's, right? We were going through the whole fucking timeline. And the second measurement, you lost 10 pounds. Yeah, that's good. And then you gained a couple pounds. Yeah. And then you were within striking distance.

I was 13 pounds off last weigh-in. And then last week I weighed you. Oh, yeah. What was last week? What was I? You were above the weight. Obviously. You still had quite a bit.

Do you remember what the number was? I do. Well, give that number first. Last week, you had 11 pounds to lose. Well, that's not good. That's not good at all. 11 pounds I had left? You had to lose 11 pounds this week.

I was at 291 last week. Yes. In two weeks. Yeah. Fuck, I'm to crumb roll. Your weight. Veto. As of December 8th,

after six months of weight loss, where you wrote a... Sit down. I'm not gonna... I'm gonna start over! I have to start over now! I have to start over! I have to start over! No, you don't have to start over. After six months of weight loss, your final weight, after dealing with Mountain Dew,

giving up Mountain Dew, learning to live with yourself in a healthier program, and spending a week on a final weight. 278.6 pounds. Ah! Ah! Fucking shit!

Yes! Oh, God. Oh, God. I hate you fucking people. I hate everyone of you who made me do this. I want you all to die. I just fucking hate you people. This is the worst fucking meal you've ever eaten.

Every part of this was torture. And I'm just going to eat my way back to 310 to spite all you assholes. I'm gonna eat my way back to 310 to spite all you fuckers who put me through this. I hate all of you. Is that your acceptance speech? That's my acceptance speech. Losing weight is retarded. No one should ever do it.

It's the worst thing in the world. You did it. Great. You lost. I don't, I world. You did it. Great. You lost. I could. You lost. How much did I lose? Let's see.

310. What was the weight? What was the weight? 278.6. My kidneys are destroyed. They were already in bad shape. So 21.4. You lost 31.8 pounds.

It's finally over. You barely. You probably. If you hadn't taken your clothes off.4. You lost 31.8 pounds. It's finally over. You barely. You probably. If you hadn't taken your clothes off. Yeah. You wouldn't have. You wouldn't have passed it. I took my fucking shirt and my pants off.

You kept your underwear on. I kept my underwear on. That was a risky move. It was a risky move. I honestly. You could have had a pound of underwear. I thought about my underwear. I should have took it off.

You could have done it. I recorded the whole thing. I still did it. I'm not going to post it. Whatever. I mean, you could post it if you need to, but. I don't know. You got to.

If you need to prove this was a real weigh-in. I don't think anyone needs to see that naked weigh-in that we did. You could blur it out. That's true. You don't want to see my naked body. That's a lot of blurring. It's a lot of blurring. Yeah.

Don't waste your blur fund on me. It's going to cost a lot of rendering time to render out that blur. Well, good job. Shut up. I didn't think you'd do it. I know you didn up. I didn't think you'd do it. I know you didn't. I didn't think I'd do it. Honestly, you know what my goal was when I asked for another week?

Well, it was another three days, technically. It wasn't even a week. Whatever, yeah. I wanted the extra three days. I wanted to go one more. And I said, I just have to get below 290. Because I said, if I can't get to below 290, it is truly embarrassing if I can't lose

20 pounds. Yeah, that would have been really bad. And you were one pound away from that. But then I got down below 290. I got a brand new scale and I went, well, let's just keep it going and see what happens. I'm like, why don't I just work my I'll just work out really hard for a week. And then stop. And cut a little bit

of water. Yeah, and then stop and then I never have to do it again. No, look. As I've always said did you learn anything shut the fuck up i'm giving my my what i learned speech okay is i've made new choices uh-huh prime energy 10 calories wow how much was the mountain dew like 230 he's a lot so that's 200 calories cut out of my diet every day. Okay. I got a bag of apples at the house. Wow. I'm going to say this also.

Okay. Fuck the audience forever. Not all of you, but okay. Some of you are good. You're suspect. Some of you are good. But when I go to the live show and I go,

Hey, I've been eating healthy. I've been eating beef and broccoli and everybody freaks out and yells at me and they go well actually you don't know anything about nutrition or dieting and blah blah and all this fucking bullshit constant veto everybody failed that way and now okay i felt that way and for other reasons it wasn't because i was eating the beef and bra if i ate more beef and broccoli i probably would have passed that one okay. Oh, okay. Alright. Okay? Okay. All I'm saying is everyone can now stop sending me constant DMs about how, well, actually, the thing

about protein balancing out with your... You should get more tips, though. Yeah, no, I have all the tips. I know how to diet. I know how to work out. I just don't want to. But I'll try to keep it up. Yeah. Okay? As long as I can keep the weight loss going, I'm not going to go as hard as I went this fucking week.

Jesus Christ. I didn't do anything this week other than work out. Okay, I worked out like two, three times a day. I ate nothing. You lost 11 pounds. I know. 12 pounds. I cut 12 pounds, which is fucking insane.

I'll be real. Probably like four pounds of that is like water weight, but whatever. You had six months to do that, though, and you just fucked it. Like, you left it to the last minute. Yeah, I fucked around until six months because I'm retarded. Yeah. Also, didn't it add to the drama? So, hey, who cares?

At least, it would have been, if I had lost 30 pounds in three months, it wouldn't have been fun. No, you made it as fun as possible. And I think that we knew that you would. Thanks to the Back By guys for setting up this contract, provided it works. Thank you, Back Buy. Yeah, if the contract doesn't work and I don't get any money, I'm going to literally kill everyone. When I clocked in and I had 11 pounds to go two weeks ago. Thank you to everybody who fell for my Vito's definitely not going to make it routine.

When I had 11 pounds to go, did you go, oh, there's no fucking way? Yeah. Yeah. I was sad. I'm like, there's just no fucking way. Yeah, when I weighed in, I went, Dick's going to be so upset that I, again, because that was like a two pound weight loss from the previous one. So have you been weighing yourself the whole time?

Yes, sometimes. Well, the problem was- Did you know you were under the weight today? Yeah, but that's what I was worried. I was worried your scale was off. What was your scale at? My scale was also at like 279 or something. Okay, so you lost 0.4 pounds on the way over here.

I wonder what I weigh now after eating all this Taco Bell. Let's find out. You can tear the cover off. I'm not taking my clothes off this time. No, no, don't do that. I left the cover on the numbers on the scale so Vito couldn't see. It's a Bluetooth scale, so it transmitted the number to my girlfriend who wrote it down on this piece of paper.

You're taking your pants off just for fun? I mean, you could guesstimate the weight of the fucking pants, Vito. Well, you can just subtract it. You don't have to take them off. Okay, because now it's 282. Now you're 282 and a half. So you would have failed. You know, you're supposed to like, you're supposed to be well under.

It's not supposed to be a taco difference. But you waited until the last minute and did a bunch of tricks and bullshit. Well, here you go. You did it. Okay, but even if I, look, again, I made the weight, which is what matters. And I did just gorge myself on a shit ton of fucking tacos and garbage to put back on. I also had clothes on. Look,

regardless, I definitely lost weight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you did. You won the weight loss contest. I won the weight loss contest. You'd have never lived that down. Yeah, it would have been forever. Okay, so that's the other thing is that the thing, everyone's like, don't you want $1,200?

I'm like, I want the audience to not bring this up for the next hundred episodes. I don't want like a biggest problem wiki page that recounts the six months that I failed to lose 30 pounds. Everyone go, hey, what's your favorite piece of biggest problem, Laura? Oh, the part where Vito was too big of a piece of shit to lose a very reasonable five pounds a month. That a doctor said was reasonable. That would have been infinitely worse. The money is like a nice little piece of cherry on top.

But honestly, in my head, I'm like, if I have to go another 100 episodes with everyone leaving voice, let's be real, the next episode would have been 100 voicemails about what a disgusting piece of shit I am. You won. I won. Now you're part of all the guys. All the guys who, even if they lost like a hundred pounds,

they think they're the same as you now. Yeah. Now other people think they could lose weight too. It's inspiring. And I also, I hate congratulatory messages. I hate it. I don't want praise. Don't praise me.

I did the bare minimum. I barely did. You literally did the bare minimum. I am so. Look, I'm going to let's take. I don't know if anyone's praising you. What do you call this? A pyrrhic victory?

Okay. No, because you won. I won. It's not the best win. Let's put it that way. You squeaked it out. I squeaked it out. Okay, so I'm scrolling all the way down here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, look. At least something good happened. It's amazing. We end the week on a high note. I think Maddox is doing a live QA for his first chapter in his video tomorrow. Ooh. Yeah, we're going to have fodder for weeks.

Koof for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Oh, how much did I win? Was it $1,200? Yeah, about. Okay. I think I have to send a message to the contract

so it all sends to your wallet. Well, thank you to everybody who donated and supported my shame journey. I hope you got some entertainment out of me constantly missing my goals and everyone sending in a million voicemails about how easy it is to lose weight. Yeah. I fucking hate you people.

Cots for 10. Good luck on the weigh-in. Thanks for my money back veto. Well, you got fucked there, Cots. Pigeon saw for five. Going to leave this here. Be back for it tomorrow. Not happening.

Kyle Baxter for two. Open shawl lol. Influence history for two. Thank you all for not killing yourself. Baxter for two. Open shawl lol. Influence history for two. Thank you all for not killing yourself. Sorry, Koof. JJ for two. Is Hamas getting paid tonight? Don't blow it. Oh, yeah. It's a big win for Israel as well. Hamas didn't get your money. Hamas, you would have donated

all the money. Black Angus Roos for five says here's five for some Taco Bell nacho fries to celebrate after the final weigh-in. You're going to celebrate after the final weigh-in. You're going to celebrate your way back up to 300. Oh, I'm getting a pastrami sandwich, I think, after I eat this Taco Bell. I think the hat will still be open. I might get some chili cheese fries as well.

I haven't eaten for a fucking week. Let me gorge a little bit, all right? This is my cheat. It's my cheat weekend. I want to get a steak. Gunranger for five. Is it a crime to steal steal a feed use download numbers of a different show to acquire advertisers on a shittier one asking for an autist yeah that's fraud and then maddox makes a big deal about how i got his sponsors canceled yeah but he's the not only did he do that steal a feed right not only were

sponsors pulling their money back because like once you reach a whole audience there's no point in advertising more up for them right it was also the episode after he went on a after he did a rant about how kaepernick shouldn't be kneeling right like well advertisers don't want to really like that yeah um and his message the message that he showed proof that his he got canceled is from the Twitter DMs of Harry's. So he DMed the Harry's page, because you don't get to talk to your sponsors on Libsyn. They just assign you. Yeah, and he said, I think...

And they said, oh, wow, if it's part of a hate mob, that sucks. That sucks, but they didn't actually look into it to see if it was. No, it's just some Indian. Also, I mean, I don't know, is this too much? Can you say how much, like say what sponsorship money Harry was getting So he's mad about losing 300 bucks A month or an episode So 1200 bucks maybe

They would run once a month Every episode So 300 bucks a month he lost And he could have just got another sponsor Well no because there's none It's not just Why the fuck would anyone want to advertise on this shit? I don't know.

I get emails all the time from all sorts of different advertisers. I agree to them, and then they send me free stuff, and then I don't do the advertisement. Do you want an extra wallet? They sent me all these wallets for review. What's an extra wallet? Yeah, I'll show you. It's like a super slim wallet, so you can't put anything in it. Oh, no.

I have one that sticks to my phone. Yeah, it's probably pretty similar. Let's see. Nanamai for two. Biggest problem in the universe are sucky comic book writers. Wink, wink. Suki. Are you trying to say spooky? Spooky. On the

John for five. Okay. Pour one out for our boy Destiny. We tried to get him on the show. He did not respond. Can we get some RIP marriage and chat marriage is the enemy not poly shit i feel bad for uh okay well i don't know if the poly thing is the problem you think it's because of the you're gonna blame the poly whatever why is it bad what happened because because a different guy showed up now he's got to give his money to melina yeah like so the marriage was the issue Not the whatever

Polly shit As far as I'm concerned Polly shit is just like well we're kinda dating You know Trad people with regular marriages They cheat on each other all fucking time too Those women run out on those guys too He set himself up for failure

Maybe he just didn't like her all that much I think if you're in a Polly relationship Just be like, I don't want to talk about it because if it goes wrong, everyone's going to rip on me. I'd be like, I told you that it doesn't work. There, I just lost another... Whoa!

I just lost another pound. Sorry, the blast went out. I never do that on the show. I've been... The disrespect! What do you want me to do? Leave the show at a fart? Russell Zomb for 10 Australian says, here's $10 reduce.

Thank you. Hi, Sam Jello for 10. Please watch the Madam Web trailer. I have asked Vito for five weeks. Has it really been asked for five weeks? Madison, do me a solid watch. This bullcrap will make you laugh. I do need to watch.

Do you know Madam Web? She's like a spider. Spider woman know Madame Web she's like a spider well she's like a spider woman is it Sidney Sweeney I don't know who's playing her she shows her tits

Sony is still trying to make a spider verse happen you know they want to make a bunch of they want to make their own Marvel universe of just Spider-Man stuff

okay but I've heard Madame Web looks terrible here's Jacob for five says here's wait you missed Riley don't miss his super chats sorry it was also about Madame Web Riley for five Here's Jacob for five. Says here's some money. Wait, you missed Riley. Don't miss his Super Chats. Oh, sorry. It was also about Madame Web.

Riley for five. It's a different color. It's true. If I miss Riley's Super Chats, next thing I know he shows up at my door and gives me more money. Kind of giving me incentive to skip your Super Chats, Riley. Says I liked the Madame Web trailer, but I always like movies with Sidney Sweeney's booba in them. Can't wait

to cosplay her character. That's actually from Mint Salad. Well, Mint Salad. Even better. Thanks for coming by. Jacob, about for five. She should cosplay as Sidney Sweeney. She should cosplay. Make her eyes, like, far apart.

Yeah. That'd be cool. And then just say, I don't show my tits anymore. Hey, how about you cosplay as the incredible naked woman? That might be cool, too. That's cool. And then come to my house. Jacob, about for five. Here's some money so Vito won't kill

himself after losing the lane. Wow! You really showed these people. Well, everybody was... See, again, everybody secretly wanted me to fail. Because then they don't have to improve their lives. They don't have to improve their lives. They get to keep living in their little bubble of like, well, everything sucks.

So I don't have to try at all. Vito can't even lose 30 pounds. Vito can't even lose 30 pounds. I don't have to do shit. Riley Edwards for two Canadian. Vito is 2.2 tungstens. That's a measuring scale that I made up. Oh, the tungsten scale. So if you're a woman and you're over 140 pounds, you have to switch to a tungsten scale where your weight is in amount of 6

inch cubes of tungsten. So one 6 inch cube of tungsten is 140 pounds. Oh, really? Yeah, so you are now 2.2 6 inch cubes of tungsten. Fantastic. It sounds a little sexier, I think. How many tungstens are you wearing?

2.2. Yeah, hey, you're only 2.2. That's not a lot. No, Lizzo. It's not even three tungstons. Yeah. I was going to say, I saw you commenting on the Republican debate that you wanted Vivek to ask Nikki Haley to put the wars in order. Yeah.

I'm like, man, I would pay like 50 bucks to see that. Dude, that should be the new, that's all he should do on the debate. It's like, that's a great question about immigration. Nikki Haley. Here's a picture question about immigration. Nikki Haley. Here's a picture of a glass of water. Are the moon and the sun different? Are they different things or are they the same thing? Where does the moon go at night? Or where does the sun go

at night? Please explain. What do you do when you park your car and get in between when you park your car and get out? I can't believe that time that people thought thinking the sun and the moon were the same was like a racist coded racist message. That was funny. Koo for five. Vito, did you have

another biopsy to make weight? That's true. I did have to cut out a tumor to get there. That's okay. I don't know if you saw that little scar on my back. That was gross. I thought it was your testicles. When I took off my shirt. Thank you for not, thank you for losing weight, but most importantly thank you for not killing yourself. Thank you, Koof. Is my throat, uh, I'm still dehydrated yourself. Thank you, Koof. Is my throat?

I'm still dehydrated. Steven, two hell for five. If Vito is the Joker, does that make Eric July? Oh, if Maddox is the Joker, does that mean Eric July is? No. Eric July is the penguin, obviously. The Riddler is what I'm going to say. Because the penguin is doing all these back deals and manipulating people and fucking over.

Yeah, he's all about business. Yeah, he's all business business yeah he's all business dirty he's a businessman he would never niggle anyone king n64 for 10 i feel like maddox's vid was a pathetic attempt to rile up people from kiwi farms especially with the digibro stuff i got the kind of same feeling that he was playing to a lot of different crowds trying to see which one would be on his side because i was like is maddo really going to launch the, hey, Dick's a pedophile because he had Digibro on his show one time? Well, he doesn't even care about me being a pedophile.

He just wants to go after her. Somebody told me he had a guest on his show who was actually a sex crime. Did that happen after he had him on the show or before? Maddox was actually the child that he molested. Oh, my God. He loved it. Well, I guess they had a personal connection. Called him up when he called in. It was weird. King XC4 says the timing couldn't be more

perfect for him and to give a list of 4,000 random people. I think you're right. Well, I think he also I think he also tried to piggyback it on that H-Bomber guy shit who's doing like, who released a big video about plagiarism. Well, I actually thought the timing was bad

because I was like why would you release that at the same time as well Maddox stupid yeah should have gave it its own weekend

weekend spotlight you gotta wait until nothing else is going on during Christmas well maybe during Christmas you want to watch it

why would you sit down and watch a classic holiday film when you can put on when stalkers when fans become stalkers put on this film for a guy that everyone knows is an asshole.

We're gonna watch Miracle on 34th Street. No, no, no, no, no. Let's put on that holiday classic from Maddox. Dicks an asshole. What was your first clue about that? Yeah, how did you figure that one out? Pigeons for Saw 174 for two says we are so back. Dicks an asshole. Yeah. Wow. Huh. What was your first clue? About that.

Yeah. How did you figure that one out? Pigeons for Saw17442 says, we are so back. We are indeed back. We're back. White Bandit for five. Shout out to John Riffs for getting the exclusive video rights to Tim Pool's interview with Maddox and Eric July. Maybe we should watch that next week.

Did you see? Wait. Did you see the music video someone made for the weight loss contest? No. Okay. Real quick. Go to Reddit.com. made for the weight loss contest? No. Okay, real quick. Go to the biggest problem Reddit. I have to spotlight this. I'm surprised they didn't send it in.

You're lucky I saw it. Here, I'll give it. Let me switch to the... This one? This one? No. Okay. What the fuck?

Someone made a theme song for me losing the weight loss contest. Oh. I guess we're going to play it even though I managed to win. We will get copyright struck for this. No way. I mean, maybe not. We can only play a little bit of it. Let's put it that way.

Actually, I don't think we'll get claimed for music. Your butt is wide. Well, mine is too. Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out Better treat me right Cause I'm the king Of cellulite

Wait, this is the actual song with my voice. He did it with my voice and AI, though. That takes some fucking work. Oh, really? You didn't hear that was me? No, I thought it was just a guy singing. No, it kind of sounds like me.

I can tell now that it's an AI. Okay, thank you. Thank you. It's just like tight. You got to get passion shine, I gotta take their word because I'm fat. Fat, fat, fat. Jim, oh, you're getting fat. You gotta get it to the, you gotta get, why am I giving him more credit than you are? Because it's, I know AI.

You just like feed an MP3 into the thing. But you gotta also feed it with your note or whatever. He said he had to fuck around with it. Lame. I mean, I appreciated it. Should have wrote, should have wrote new show specific lyrics. Yeah. Would have been the way to do it. Where am I appreciated it. Should have wrote new show-specific lyrics. Yeah. Would have been the way to do it.

Where am I? Okay. Riley Edwards for two. Vito, you look fatter. Thank you, Riley. Aklovich for two. What's the over-under on Vito still being fat? 100%.

For another two, he says answer, over 300 pounds, and his test, under 300. Adventure time for five. Here's five bucks for Ricky Retardo, the best thing y'all have done in a while. Everybody loves Ricky Retardo for some reason. Retarded. We might need to give him his own. If any character gets his own spinoff comic, I think Ricky Retardo

from the Dickverse. Ricky Retardo. Give Ricky Retardo to solve another mystery. Where had the moon gone? Where had the moon gone? I wake the moon gone? Where had the moon gone? I wake up every day and the moon is gone. I get to find it. Today, I asked the rest of Alvaco where it goes, and they said, Ricky, shut the fuck up and go back to your room and play with your blocks. LP Dirty T for two, the biggest mukbang in the universe.

Yeah, that was pretty obscene. I wanted to bring in more food, honestly. Avocado style. Red for five. Thank you for not making weight, Vito. Now I don't owe Tony TGD 200. Uh-oh. Side bets going on.

Uh-oh. Side action. Tony just made 200 bucks because of me. Tony, you better give me 10 bucks. No, he says thank you for not. No, I don't owe. He says thank you for not making weight. Oh, this was before.

This was before. Oh, buddy, you owe Tony 200 bucks. You owe Tony 200 bucks. Oh, shit. Sorry, bro. You bet against Vito. Big mistake. Never bet against a fat man afraid of shame on the internet.

Afraid of every one of our fans. That was a close one, man. That was a photo finish. Well, that's what I was worried about. I was worried your scale was going to be calibrated different to mine. I was going to be over it. You've been obsessed with that fucking scale the whole time and not like about the Mountain Dew you're drinking.

Well, because I knew I was going to. Everyone's day one. Is this scale, regulation, size, or what? Because if I was like off by a pound, I was going to be pissed. Chad Sharp for a big $33 says adding to the Ricky Ritardo fund. How much is it to get Ricky Ritardo out? 50 bucks? Yeah, 50 bucks.

50 bucks, worth 33. Spider Eternal for two. Surrounded by amazing taco places, Vito eats trash. I had to get over here quick. I needed fast food. Fox-O-Later for five. Question, gayness aside,

was that really your handwriting in the poetry book? It was backwards. Yeah, you wrote it backwards for some reason. It wasn't poetry either. It's a song. I used to have a band with Sean.

It was a song book. Those are just lyrics you're coming up with? Yeah, I still have it. I asked the hard man working hard to make an actual song out of it. Yeah. It's full of songs like that. I don't, well, I mean, I can conjecture on why a crazy woman would take a picture of that. I think she just took a picture to reverse it so she could read it because I always write backwards.

I always have. Wait, you always write backwards? I always write backwards. I always have. Wait, you always write backwards? Yeah, I started doing it as a kid in elementary school to sign yearbooks. I thought it would be funny. Yeah.

And then I just got bored, and I would just sit there in class and write backwards. Okay, so you actually are autistic. And then I would play with my stopwatch for a couple hours, and then I would write a bunch of letters backwards again. What are you writing backwards? This is why? This is not healthy behavior go fuck yourself backwards All right Cuz I amused me so much because some people can read it backwards and some people look at and go like What is that say?

Cryptic and they have to take a picture and reverse picture. I think that's where Jamie got the picture. Can I have a math stopwatch? And then I would watch videos about trains for several hours. I had a great train video. My parents got me. John Riffs for five. Coded message heard loud and clear. Operation Gangstock Maddox is now entering phase two.

That's what you do. You send your code. That's one of your coded messages. You've got 5,000 people. You's what you do. You send your code. That's one of your coded messages. You and your coded messages. Cooper W for 20 Australian dollars. Worst thing Maddox exposed about Dick is how bad his handwriting is.

Truly unforgivable. You know what? I'm going to go get it. Here. I'm going to go get the book. It's all backwards. Can I read these while you're gone? No, no, no. Alright, I'll wait. I'll eat a taco or something. I'm going to eat a sour patch, kid. Guys, get your super chats in now. I hate you people.

I hate it that you made me do this. Hey, get me a Diet Coke. Probably didn't hear me. Oh. Okay, you didn't go upstairs. This is your song book? Well, I have all these stupid notebooks because before iPhones, you had to actually write ideas down. I know this, yeah. I have some sketchbooks full of old naked anime ladies.

I have a whole album in here at some point. I'm gaining all the weight back, guys. That's the plan. Can we do veto games dot com and see how long it takes for me to get back to 310? We could just go in an endless loop of these 30 pounds. It's all just like scribbled drawings and stuff. Zombie Dragmire for two. When is Harley calling in?

Backwards. There it is. So is your handwriting normally like, you have normal handwriting going forward? Well, it's ugly, but it doesn't look like I had a stroke. It's fine if you have chicken scratch. It's got a, you don't even need, now you just type everything anyway, so handwriting doesn't matter. Yeah, that's why I don't have, that's why most people don't have a bunch of weird notebooks. Zombie wants to know when's Harley's coming in, or calling in.

Sunday on your show. Sunday on my show. Also, hashtag Vito lost. Well, I did, but in a good way. Oh, yeah. Hashtag Vito lost. Why did we not call it that? That would have been way more clever. We had six months to think of that.

No one thought you were going to win. Vito lost. You still could have said hashtag Vito lost. That's clever. Diamond G for $5.55. Can we get a Biggest Problem Hate Mob shirt? Not a bad idea. Yeah. Deep Throat. I do need to add more shirts to the store. Guys, Killdozer.Industries, get your

Biggest Problem shirt. Yeah. And I have to figure out why the hats are not propagating in the shirt. Deep Throat for $5. Became a $20 patron for Dick because I made the list. Okay. Why are you getting all the patrons? Shouldn't some of them come over here as well for the hot goss? As they say. We've been through a lot together. You're reaping all the patrons? Shouldn't some of them come over here as well for the hot goss, as they say? We've been through a lot together.

You're reaping all the rewards. No one has ever made Maddox, no one has ever made somebody so mad that they do a two-hour and 45-minute documentary on them that takes them five years of their life to render. No one has ever made somebody that mad. It's so sad, dude. It's like a genuine tragedy. Yeah.

He could just be making cool YouTube videos. Eric July should be looking at this and going, oh, yeah, this is like a- I'm glad I stepped away a little bit. I'm not going to do this anymore. I appreciate the review. I'm settling with, like you said, I'm settling with Isam. anymore. I appreciate the review. I'm settling with, like you said, I'm settling with ISOM.

I look forward to Super Killer. I think Eric Geli has said multiple times. Thank you, Eric. What Maddox has done should be a horrifying wake-up call. Oh, it's like, yeah, Eric Geli is bad, but he's not Maddox level bad. He's just a bad writer and an asshole and a liar. And a doxer. Not a doxer. DMCA. False flagger. He's got a lot writer. And an asshole. And a liar. And a doxer. Not a doxer. DMCA.

False flagger. He's got a lot of problems. Whatever. But at the end of the day, he never made a three-hour documentary about us. So maybe it's in the works. He fucked up by lying. He fucked up by lying. Well, Dick, you're...

And everybody fucked up by believing in and not apologizing. As I suggested to you, look, this video is so long, you need to do multiple bonus episodes. Oh, I will. You are right. On the chapters. I'm going toizing. As I suggested to you, look, this video is so long you need to do multiple bonus episodes. Oh, I will. You are right. On the chapters. I'm going to do just one a month. One a month. Yeah. Because it's too much. You and Sean are like going through the whole, I'm like, no, there's too much. I had no idea it would be so dense with lies. And he says he's going

to release extended cuts of every chapter, so I want to come in on at least one of those bonus episodes and go through it with you. Yes, do it, please. So look forward to that on The Dick Show. You can find that at patreon.com slash the Dick Show. If you have not watched Dick's bonus episode on the first part of the Maddox documentary, you're missing out.

What are you looking through? Are you finding some good lyrics? Maybe. Well, maybe we've got some songs coming down the line. This is odd. What? There's a message in here that is not my handwriting. What kind of message? Hmm.

Uh, I don't know. Okay. How strange. It's not Maddox's handwriting, I hope. No, it's a girl's. Okay. But you don't know which girl? No.

Okay. How bizarre. How strange. Well, maybe take some time to figure that out. Why do these things happen to me? Is it a good message or a- No. Oh, it's a bad message.

Wow. Wow. If we were discovering new things live on is this something that you need to process to try and figure out who it was well no i don't like i don't like making fun of i don't like punching down oh is that what would have happened there okay huh interesting well maybe that'll come around at some point. Life's full of surprises. Dickington Post for two. Breaking. Maddox docked. Crimsel now jobless.

Five ever. Oh, no. Crimsel has an excuse. He can't get a job because of the list. What's the point? What's the point? I can't get a job. I can't get a job.

Jose M for two. Vitozilla minus one pound lost. Wow. Oh, my God. All Wow Alright the first one was Don't make this a regular thing I can't help it I don't know my diet's all fucked Cause I didn't eat for a week so now whatever's left in me You don't have to like fucking lean over like it's a big production

Like you're making a fucking Peter Griffin fart contest How else would you It gives it room to get out It doesn't need to get out I don't want to hold my. Just hold it. Otherwise, it's going to seep into the chair. I don't want to hold my farts on the show. Yeah, you should.

I'm going to allow this one because of all the Taco Bell and shit. I lost 30 pounds. I think I get to fart a little bit in celebration out of it. I'm going to throw up. You can't even smell it. It's not getting over there. I'm just thinking about it. Oh, it is.

It's the worst day of my life. Well, get a better air conditioner. Jose M for two. Vito Zilla minus one pound loss. Cheese in my pocket. Vito for five. You guys solved it. Maddox is unemployed because he can't work with anyone within six degrees of dick.

That's a good point. He can't work with anyone on earth. I was going to say, Maddox is still friends, technically, with a lot of these YouTube guys. Justin Wang invited him to that party. I mean, they're all friends with him. They don't care. People on YouTube don't care if you dox 5,000 people. They wouldn't care if you murdered a kid.

Like, they just don't fucking care. He could still be making cool videos and collaborating with all his friends. He had Chris Ray Gunn on his show. He seems to think, though, because all those guys are still friendly to you. These songs are not good, but what song lyrics are good? Dude, any song lyrics he wrote 10 years ago or whatever, 6 years ago. 20. Take 90%

of popular songs. Bro, this is from fucking 20 years ago. That's me in the corner. Yeah. That's me in the spotlight. Yeah, exactly. Losing my religion. Yeah, it sounds pretentious and stupid. If you want to be a writer, you gotta write a lot of bad stuff. You gotta write a lot of... Song lyrics are pretentious. What are you going to do?

Maxwell for 12. Oh, I was going to say, though, Maddox has destroyed himself because he doesn't want to make videos or collaborate with any of these people because they haven't disavowed you and your Nazi followers. So he smoked himself. I know everybody. Yeah. And that's not a problem.

I can't work with Screenwave. I'm even friends with Matt Garbo now. They used to employ... And he gave his, like, full, he put Anthony Peluso. And Tony's like, that's my dad's name. That's not even mine. Antonio Peluso. Yeah, Antonio Peluso. He's like, my name's Anthony.

My dad's Antonio. Maxwell for 21, or Maxwell 21 for 12, women can't live with them. How could you steal that joke, Dick? What's wrong with you? You know what's crazy? You thought it was a cheers joke as well? Yeah, because it's been a... It's probably a...

It's just a joke. It's a joke that men have told since the beginning of time. Hey, Maddox, knock, knock. Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh, you're stealing jokes. Riku for five. Four people on Maddox's list are dead. He docks four dead people.

RIP to Alan, Julie, Chris, and Cantillions. Oh, I know all those people. Malok for five. Oh, yes, inject that hot gas directly into my veins. I have fallen off the wagon after half a decade. Happy holidays, Dick and Vito. Happy holidays. White Bandit for five.

If Carl Jopes had only seen the Photoshop of Dick and Vito wearing overalls and working with poly tools, he would have known it was a comedy podcast. You're right. I should have put that fucking picture in there. I should read a bunch of Maddox and Mines treatments. I have a whole thing Maddox wrote of a Garbage Pail Kids cartoon that he wanted to make. Fucking sucks. I was talking to Andy Signore, and he was all excited.

He's like, I want to make a cartoon. It's about the royal family, but if they were kids. I'm like, oh, you mean like that Prince show that came out on Netflix two years ago? He's like, what? I looked it up, and they already made that and I'm like, oh, you mean like that Prince show that came out on Netflix two years ago? And he's like, what? And I looked it up, and they already made that. And he's like, fuck! Legacy for 10. Can we get Value Selector Adam Sessler on the show again? They were my favorite guests.

I want to get Adam Sessler back on. Value Selector's pretty recent, but he's a good guy. And he's filming stuff in LA, so we might, I want to make some videos with that guy. James Gardner for 20. Big 20. Thanks, James. The Banana and the Cowboy was his winning ticket. Do a comic with Eric and go away. I agree.

The Banana and the Cowboy were great. Maddox make a comic book about a sentient banana who meets a cowboy and a Dracula and goes on adventures. Agnostic Uzumaki for five says we don't want serious guests on our comedy podcast. Okay, like Joe Rogan is a comedy podcast, but he brings on.

No, they don't want that though. They don't like boom, boom, hot, hot. I think you kind of did set Carl up to fail. I set him up to fail. If he didn't know it was a comedy podcast. I should have figured he'd figure it out. But he's a speed runner, man. That's a rough gamble that you were making.

Well, if you'd read the show document. You can't be giving that to people. The show document. It's a comedy podcast. Here's some good problems. Pistri blitz. Fucking chump syndrome. All these ones.

Boom. I gave him some examples. Snazzy Razz. Coming hot. Yeah, you're right. Snazzy Razz for 10. 1,000 viewers. That's true.

How many we got right now? We're still 1,300. Jesus Christ. Wow. 1,300. Jesus Christ. Wow! 1,350. I think that's a record. I think it is. I think that's the most I think with Destiny the most we got to was like 1,200. You believe all these viewers that... People want to hear

about this crazy Armenian guy who destroyed his own life. All these people are so interested in my dick. Everybody's so interested in how fat I am. We got like a trifecta of fucking stupid bullshit this week. Glad you guys

are getting more attention. Love the show. Thank you. Chad Sharp for $17. Can't wait to see the stopwatch

speedrunning video. Yeah, yeah. Get it done. Thank you, Chad. Stone Cold Flea for five. Please never stop the Maddox ridicule.

I signed up for the Patreon specifically for the three-hour bonus episode. Thank you, Dick and Vito, for years of laughs. We have to stop the Maddox ridicule. I signed up for the Patreon specifically for the three-hour bonus episode. Thank you, Dick and Vito, for years of laughs. We have to do a Maddox bonus episode on this show. Come on. Okay.

I don't know if we can do biggest problem in Maddox. Is that too on the nose? I don't know. We got to do a bonus episode. We'll figure something out. It's too much for me. I need a normal thing. Yeah, I know.

I hear what you're saying. Because it's all you can talk about because it all keeps happening. Jeez, for $1,000 for $5,000, Maddox's video immediately got demonetized. Meanwhile, Dick's Patreon shoots over $20,000 again. Once again, everybody makes money off Maddox except Maddox. You know what I was thinking? If he said,

hey, for $5, I've put this behind a paywall. If you want more of the Dick drama Give me five bucks Would have cleared a couple extra thousand bucks Dude he doesn't even think normally Somebody said why are you still on Patreon If you think they're like the most evil organization in the world

And he goes So I can be involved in community guidelines discussions They do invite you to those things But as like a joke Yeah And his ass showing up with, by the way... Look at all these N-words.

I'd like to mention Patreon's support of Rape List. Remember when I sued you guys? It might happen again. Did they let him talk on those conference calls? That's like a psychotic person. That's the kind of person Alex Stein makes fun of. I got an email to another one of those because Patreon does go,

hey, we're having a community something. I don't know if they do like a Zoom call or something that people can like call in. I don't know. I wonder if Maddox gets on those and tries to lecture them or whatever. Yes. Yes. I've been in the car with him while he's like ranting at his apartment landlord because they were doing construction in the building. He's like, well, I work at home

and I can't do my work with the construction going on. What are you going to do? Jesus Christ, man. Oh, no. JohnRiffster5, my favorite part of the Maddox doc was him calling Dick a Nazi pedo stalker that wanted to kill him and Harley thinking it is at all plausible. You really got to talk to that Harley guy.

I know. I don't know how you look at the backwards graph and just go, oh, is at all plausible. You really got to talk to that Harley guy. I know. I don't know how you look at the backwards graph and just go, oh, this is all trash. Like, what do you mean? You can't have a backwards timeline. Because he presented it in this sneaky snake way where if you don't know what actually happened. That's true. And he flashes the emails by so quickly where you go, well, Dick didn't deserve to be thanked on the final episode because he refused to show up for it. It's like, no, he didn't invite him to

the final episode. He did it sneakily. Asterios showed up and didn't even know it was the final episode. Yeah, I gotta relax. I gotta calm down when I talk to these people because I get so upset. Why are you upset? Your Patreon just shot up five. This man is making you rich. Because he goes after innocent people. You know what? You made a good point. He you rich. Because he goes after innocent people.

Yeah, you know what? You made a good point. He went after Sean. He went after your girlfriend. And, like, it's bullshit. And Randy and five. There's 5,000 people, and not all of them think it's funny on that website. Right.

You have a big SS logo and your name there forever. Like, there's. He put the name of Sean's job. You put the name of Randy's job. And, like, it's one of those things. It really pisses me off. I know what you're doing. You want one... Again, he talks about

you dog whistling. It's like, why'd you put the name of their employer on there? I don't know. Oh, really? It's not so somebody can call them up and go, hey, by the way, did you know this, this, blah, blah, blah? Even thinking about it makes me so upset. Yeah. You're the one sending the not

coded at all message. If you put somebody's job, okay, it's because you want their job to know about it. Yeah. Same reason you sued fucking Asterios' workplace because he used their computer. Same reason you pretended to be a woman and sent Weber Shandwick, where Asterios worked, sent them an email pretending to be doing an article on misogyny, and you sent them a picture of a stereos with something I said. Yeah.

See, that's the worst part about all this, is there's always this part of me that goes, I wish they could just make up. And then I go, wait, Maddox tried to get everyone fired and sued. He got a stereos fired. Yeah, he got a guy fired. Patreon.com slash stereos. He lost a bunch of people, a bunch of money in lawyer's fees.

It's like there's no coming back from that cliff. The only thing he could do is go, I fucked up. I was wrong. I can't make it right. I'm going to just keep on keeping on and make funny videos. But he can't do that because he thinks he's completely right. Dean Shock for 20. Ricky and Isom Knox are instant classics.

But I go back to Sergeant Slaughter in that line. Drop and give me 20 reasons why a white man should give up, Vito. That gets said far too often. Drop and give me 20 reasons why a white man should just give up, Vito. I gotta pull more clips. Did we pull that as a clip? I think we did.

Visualizer for five. We need t-shirts for these characters, I gotta say. We need a Niggler shirt. We need a Sergeant Fred Slaughter shirt. Visualizer for five, when are you going to do your expose and become Maddox 2.0 Vito? Never, because it's a waste of my time. Also for five, Visualizer says, also, I finally became a member on Patreon for Biggest Problem in Dick's Show this week.

Thank you. Namaste, my friend. Thank you. Wet Bandit for five, I'll miss Fat Ralph, but I'll never miss Fat Vito, because he will always be fat. Oh. Thank you, Wet Bandit. Knucking Futs for $3.50. Love'll miss Fat Ralph, but I'll never miss Fat Vito because he will always be fat. Thank you, Wet Bandit. Knucking Futz for 350. Love the t-shirt, Dick.

Go fuck yourself. Oh, yeah. Thanks. Hashtag Maddox Lost. Spider Eternal for two. How does Dick's eye feel about Pinhead? I haven't seen that movie. Maddox Lost.

You've never seen any Hellraiser movies? No. I don't like scary movies. I don't really like horror movies either. Kyle Baxter for five. Hey, Maddox, since you're watching this, can you take me off the docs list so I can keep my job Maddox Blast I need a Maddox Blast shirt

A blast by the way is a call out It's like a literary call out I don't know what it is That's like when you insert it into the text Oh okay Maddox Blast LP Dirty T for five You need a Maddox Blast to drop now Maddox Blast. LP Dirty T for five. You need a Maddox Blast to drop now.

No, we can just play. Maddox. Oh, sorry. Yeah, Wet Bandit for two. How many? Oh, wait, no. How many Parthenons is? LP Dirty T says also add me to the list, you bald bundle of sticks.

Okay. Okay, Wet Bandit for two. How many Parthenons is Vito's Uber Eats receipts? Well, I mean, if Maddox knows how long your tweets are. Honestly, I was surprised at how little you've tweeted about him. Everyone was. I was. I was like, wait, you only tweeted like 2,000 times?

What was the year you had the most tweets? He combined two years. Okay. 2016 and 2017. That was the year the podcast broke up and the year he sued me. And how many tweets was it? Like 4,000? 1,400?

That's nothing! That's nothing! I tweet about women way more than that. Yeah. I tweet about cuties like a million times more than that. Caracos Viches for two. Watch the ripoff verse parody on the next episode. We'll have to slip it in.

LP Dirty Tea for two. I hope Maddox can enjoy a Panera Bread lemonade. Is that piss? No, Panera Bread has been selling these caffeinated lemonades that have like three times as much caffeine as coffee. Oh, and they kill you? The second person has died from drinking Panera Bread lemonade. So now the joke is like, hey, buddy, let me get you a Panera Bread lemonade.

Go drink a fucking Panera Bread lemonade, you piece of shit. That's funny. The death lemonade. Utah-based Armenian for five. The only difference between Vito and Maddox is that Maddox lost the weight. Oigi Smoigi for five. Biggest problem is deli meat ripping apart when you try to take it out of the box slash bag. That's true.

That's a big problem. Resaleable meat containers is a problem on the list. Vote it up. Yeah, vote it up. I do have to mention, somebody pointed out to me, that we have GameStop on the list twice. Oh, we do? You brought it we have GameStop on the list twice. Oh, we do? You brought it in because you didn't buy the stock.

Oh, I'll change it to stock. Yeah, change it to GameStop stock. I brought it in because I hate going to the store. Okay. All right, so it was two different GameStop problems. Visualizer for 10, I don't know how you did the old podcast. I have a hard time getting through the first 10 episodes because I hate Maddox's voice and condescending attitude. Well, it was good. People liked it. It was voice and condescending attitude. Well, it was good.

The product was good. It was horrible to do, but it was good. You were getting downloads. Maddox doesn't understand that part of it either. You were charging two bucks a bonus episode, and then you dropped it to $1.60? It started at $2.99, and then... That man is allergic to making money, huh?

He is. I think part of him wanted to sabot money huh He is I think he wanted I think part of him Wanted to sabotage The show So it would be over Yeah Cause he hated

After the wedding thing He just Actually even before The wedding thing He just hated losing to me Like he hated That the fans Thought I was funny

Yeah Cause he was trying To do something serious And talk about Female genital mutilation Yeah he was bringing In serious problems And you're like

Farting in your pants. Even in that leak we read, we read on my bonus episode, he's like, I'll do all this work, and Dick just comes in and talks about his shorts. It's like, well, it's a comedy show, man. Oh, okay, I did get to the part in the documentary where he's like, I made all the thumbnails

and all the promo videos. And the logo. Yeah, and I made the logo. I was like, you make the logo once, and you've made it. People don't listen to a show for the logo. No. They logo. And a logo. Yeah. And I made the logo. I was like, you make the logo once and you made it. People don't listen to a show for the logo. No. They listen for like funny banter. That logo sucks. It's a shitty fucking logo. But I made

it in 3D render max and it only took me 200 hours. Um, so he he uh. I was gonna say though is there, are we, is the work equitably split? I mean, because I'm making thumbnails. I feel like, you know.

Wait, are you? I make all the thumbnails. Well, you make the image for the thumbnail. But then I have to take it and I have to put it in the format. Oh, you have to de-res it. And upload it to the YouTube. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I don't know if a 50-50.

Was he not giving you 50-50? No, we were taking 50-50, but he was always crying about it. He said he took all the merch sales. He did that on his own accord, and it was a huge fight. Because we had this cool thumbnail of a hoverboard, and the hoverboard was my problem. And his problem was death.

And he started selling hoverboard shirts? He sold the thumbnail for that show on his shirt store, and I said, what about my cut of that? And he goes, well, it was my problem, death. And I and I said what about my cut of that and he goes well it was it's my problem death and I'm like what about the fucking hoverboard like it's a perfect it's a perfect combination of both of your

problems and the thumbnail was for our show how the fuck is that not my how do I not get any money from that and he's like well cause it's my store I'm like oh man oh man okay bro I guess we're still friends right And he's like, well, because it's my store. I'm like, oh, man. Oh, man. Okay, bro. I guess we're still friends, right?

Yeah. You're so shocked you got fucked over after that. Well, it's so funny because somebody was commenting, like, well, Vito, do you have an ironclad contract with Dick? I'm like, no. It doesn't matter. It's half. It's 50-50. It's 50-50.

Yeah. Anything we do, it's 50-50. That's the default. Yeah. They're like, but Dick owns a trademark mobile. I'm like, yeah, but whatever. The show doesn't exist without both of us.'s because i can get sued yeah i can suffer getting sued for things more easily than veto honestly that's why you probably should get a bigger cut because of that but whatever no it doesn't matter i mean it's just so it's just a

logistical issue like it's just easier for me to defend it i just don't know why you would go into it and piece my life like well i made more I made more. The part where he goes. Because he was mad that people liked me more. Most of the show's thumbnails had my picture on them. Therefore, it's more my show than Dick's show. I'm like, this is the stupidest fucking argument anyone's ever made. Guys who listen to the show, fans of the show, would make thumbnails for us. Just like out of. For fun.

For fun, right? And they would give them to him and I would see it and go like oh cool like that's cool and he would say no it's not good enough and he would go back and remake it

and like hand draw shit like spending and he's not an artist he'd spend nine hours on a fucking thumbnail we shit the thumbnails out

and like dude I put it in mid journey I mean my show has amazing thumbnails and the artists are amazing who do them but like the idea you don't drag them over the coals and go like, you need to redraw this, this, and this.

Only if there's like a bad word or something. Like it's a joke, it's someone's expense. I'm like, ah, you're not sorry. Maybe five times I've ever said that. But Maddox would just reject it flat out. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, why are you treating people like this? So much of what he talks about, I go, yeah, that was a waste of your time.

And the fact that you wanted to be compensated for it and thought the success of the show hinged on it. Like, wasn't he paying two ladies to transcribe the show? So he could flirt with them. Yes. What is the point of transcribing a podcast? Who's that for? So deaf, like, I think he said so deaf people could listen to it.

Did he ever encounter a single deaf listener who said, thank you for transcribing the show. Well, people liked transcriptions so they could mess with it. Yeah, so they could find what they're... But you'll always find somebody who likes anything when you have an audience of 50,000 people. The amount of money you're paying for it is unnecessary.

And the work and the back and forth. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? I listen to a bunch of podcasts that I've never said, I'm so glad for this professional transcription of the episode. So with the, wait, for the bonus episodes, it was originally $2.99, I think. Yeah. And then our season pass where you could buy a whole year was like $18.99 or something, or $20. Right, which made it a little bit of a bargain if you buy them all at once.

So then he got an email from somebody saying, well, why is it cheaper if I buy it all at once? I should be able to pay that. And he said, well, he's right. You should, why is it cheaper? Which made me think, I think you're, like, why is it cheaper if I buy it all at once? I should be able to pay that. And he said, well, he's right. You should, why is it cheaper? Which is wrong. Which made me think, I think you're like, that's retarded. And I've told you it's retarded and you have this fucking empty look in your eyes when you're looking back at me.

So I think you're sabotaging the money part of the show so you can end it. So you can say it's no longer profitable and end the show. Yeah. But either way, it's like, this is this is just fucking stupid, man. Would there be a scenario where the show's not making any money

and you're like, okay, I'm gonna quit? Me? Yeah. Yeah. If the show had kept going, you would've been like, all right, I'm just done with this.

Yeah, I'm done with this. If it had been like, I mean, it was getting to that point already. It was getting way too tense. The reason the show started failing is because you were pre-recording episodes. I'm like, maybe it's because you were being a piece of shit and everybody was listening

to you and it was uncomfortable. Yeah, you can just skip episodes. It happens all the time. Well, because the thing about the show is the audience interaction. I'm like, that's not what it is. But he couldn't skip an episode because then we would have to not run a sponsor that episode. Yeah. So he couldn't give up the money.

Dude, the part where he's like, Dick skipped the show to go to Disneyland. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Going to Disneyland's cool. That's one hour a week, bud. You couldn't find, you have no job. Moving a show for a vacation makes perfect sense. You've taken breaks from the show and I'll fill in. Also,

he left on a vacation and then you were like, okay, I'll do a show without you and he wouldn't let you. Yeah. Fucking moronic, man. People can take vacations and you can either fill it in or move it around. Yeah. I know this is going long, but it's just all so fascinating. LJ Calmarino

for five. Dick and Vito's brains are put in the other's body. What's the first thing you two do? Fuck 80s girl. You? It's him. Okay. It might work. The Gentleman's Sausage for five. BreadTube is named after a conquest of bread by Peter Kropnikin, a book I never read, but it's probably bad and dumb.

Oh. Oh, no, my mouse is still going. It lodges every once in a while. But is it a communist thing? I don't know. Suck a suit so for two. Polly relationships taking major L's. Yeah.

You've destroyed the poly community by not keeping that poly thing too. Was Hunter Paul, her boyfriend that shot her was like a polycule. So either get humiliated or shot. That's the definition of a poly relationships. Gun Ranger for another five. Can we just say that poly relationships means multiple men? Yeah. Let's just say multiple men all trying to fuck the same girl. Women trying

to fuck multiple guys always ends. And if you get off on that, you're going to have a great time. And if you don't, you're going to have a bad relationship. Adam 22. Come on, buddy. You're going to win it for all of them. He's the ultimate poly. Did you see his game show ended? So one of the... I saw the guy that he fucked his wife with. Congratulations to that guy. How was I not on that show? Adam 22, put me on the next season of Fuck Adam 22's Wife. I want to get through. Gun Ranger for five.

Vito brings up intrusive thoughts that immediately tries to destroy the podcast by doxing 80. Vote it up. Hey, you're right. My intrusive thoughts won. Jay Cock for five. Be honest. Is Maddox in on some kind of scam with you guys to make money, or is he actually that dumb?

He's that dumb. And he's getting paid. Jay for five. Intrusive thought after seeing my name on the list. Love Maddox right in the head with a love cannon multiple times in Minecraft. Love is good. More love is good. Hit him with the love cannon.

Defuckaglucks for ten. Says go fuck yourselves. Wetbander for five. Sounds like a great time to reboot a particular Godzilla podcast. What's Haley up to These days Probably blowing JJ for two

Says holiday parties Was episode 69 Did you do the same Same problem again Shit I think you might have This is work holiday parties Okay fine

I think the original one Was work holiday parties Claptrap for ten Money for my two Internet dads Thank you Richard For being the better half Of the original show

Ah thanks And thank you to me For being the better half of the original show. Ah, thanks. And thank you to me for being the better half of this show. Influence history for two. Vito is right. I do drive a truck. A lot of guys I talk to who listen to the show are truck drivers, but you know why? A lot of truck drivers. They need to listen to something, though. It's like the biggest job for men. I think it's one of the biggest podcast audiences is truck drivers.

They're like, I need something to listen to. I'm driving a truck for, you know, 12 hours a day. It'd be a good outrage podcast. I hate truck drivers show. I hate truck drivers. Hey, everybody. Welcome to I Hate Truck Drivers. If you're listening to this in your gay truck right now, call in and leave a message. You can't because you're driving.

You can't because you're driving. Utah-based Armenian for another five. Funniest part of Maddox's video is no one is talking about when he compares himself to Selena. Oh, he does? Yeah, I remember. Influence history for two. Washington State live show when? Go to Bellingham.

Washington State. If we go to Washington, then we go to Seattle. Isn't that the place to be? Rick for five. Dick, aside Maddox, how do you feel about Hunter Avalon surviving getting shot by his fat girlfriend's ex-boyfriend earlier today? I think we covered that. Don't shoot, girls.

Spider Eternal for two, unless they really... Go to the bathroom. Can I read Super Chats? Yeah, yeah, go for it. Spider Eternal for two. Can you get me, like, some water or something? My throat is dry. Spider Eternal for two says the bar is so low it's a curb veto. What the fuck? No excuses.

Hey, I got it done. You guys can't say shit. I can eat all the tacos I want. The Milkman42Australian as a guy who lost 70 kg since 2019. It's easy, Vito. Well, I'm American, so 70 kg means nothing to me. As far as

I know, you lost two pounds. Dumb username for two. Replace Vito with the hysteria's puppet. Fuck you. Dave45 says, in the last six months, I lost 50 pounds. If Vito doesn't make weight, I'll be so disappointed that I gained it all back. Well, like I said, the first couple months were rough. Oh, Dick's gone. I can fart again.

Oh, my God. Something about not eating for a week and then just pounding a bunch of tacos apparently makes you want to shit your pants. It was a rough start, but then I hit my stride, man. I always hit my stride. Dave for two. In anticipation I'm door dashing McDonald's. Go to the McDonald's. Get yourself a filet of fish.

Cyberganic for two. Vito is better than Maddox. Vito seems like an actual cool guy. See, now my intrusive thoughts make me want to prove to you that I actually suck. There goes my mouse again. Joe Ray for a big $20 on the board says, here's some money in case Vito loses

tonight. Well, I did lose, but the good kind of losing. Pigeon Saw for five. White people done season day comic book. Why people done season day comic book. Why people done season day comic book. Oh, why don't they season their comic book? I figured it out.

It's an affectation you're putting on. Dumb username for five. The strange talent of Luther Strode is better than invincible. A scrawny teen gets super strength from the Charles Atlas ads in the back of old comics. That's pretty badass, actually. That's a good thing. Give me a drumroll for this one. Actually, what's the Canadian exchange rate?

I don't even know. For a big 40 Canadian dollars from Maran84, happy 40th birthday to me. You can do it, Vito. Well, happy birthday. This is still before the weight loss wave. I know, right? God damn.

We're going to be here all night. Hey, it's a good show. We've got a lot to talk about. Fox it later. I want to say again, happy birthday to Maraun83. Maraun83. Happy birthday. And here's to, at least you're not living in Chad, because if you were living in Chad,

you'd only have 10 years left. God forbid. You're in America, so you get another 23. Done with this shit. 23.5. I can't take 40 more years of fighting with Maddox. Get me out of here. This is 10 years.

You're going to get another documentary five years from now about all the other shit you did. Look forward to that. Fox is later for two. Let's go, Vito. Oh, this is, I think, right when we weighed in. Drunk in Atheist Studio for two. Yeah. Ah, great job, Vito.

I think we've got to charge this mouse. You've just got to wait. I'm telling you, something is fucked on the drivers on this where it does this every mouse. Drunk in Atheist Studio for two. Ah, great job, Vito. Gun Ranger for two. Vito was heavier by 280 by a lot. No, I calibrated it.

And I calibrated it. Not only I have video evidence of me calibrating the scale, and I calibrated it with 50 pounds holding dumbbells. No, me holding 50 pounds. To see if it was exactly 50 over? Exactly 50 pounds, yes. I can swear to its authenticity. All right.

I mean, I'm happy with the results. And Rustica for two. Medical coma is a safe way to lose weight. Not a bad idea. How about that? Dick, you want to hit me in the head with a shovel after the show? Yeah. Diamond G for 555.

Nice job, Vito. GG. See, these are terrible. What is this stupid? Are you going to start crying again? Way to go. Oh, my God. You really are allergic to it.

Fuck this, Gage. Just say like, oh, that's pretty interesting what happened. Oh, my God. What a unique turn of events. You have such weird manners. I hate it. I hate praise. Just accept it. Say thank praise. Just accept it.

Say thank you. It's too weird. Shred for five. Congrats, Vito. Oh, man. This is going to be a painful run of Super Chats coming up. I really don't want to read this stupid shit. Jacob Bobow for ten.

Congratulations, Vito. Have fun using all that money on food and hookers, you boogie ripoff. See, that I like. That's good, yeah. That's funny because it's telling me how to use the money. Do you see Boogie? Do you know that guy Caleb Hammer? He's a YouTuber. He's kind of blown up really quick, but

he just does, he brings in people who are fucked with their finances and he just goes through all their statements. Yeah. He did a Boogie episode. It's not out yet. Is it real statements? I don't know, but he said, I had Boogie on and his financial statements are genuinely fucked. And I'm like, alright right, I want to watch it.

I hope he didn't give you fake documents. But Jackson Marcantonio for 20. I want to see Boogie's door dash. For 20 from Jackson, have a Korean corn dog and some Nashville hot chicken on me, Vito. Congratulations. Stupid food pop-ups voted up. What was that called? stupid food fads?

I think so. I had one of those Korean corn dogs I think I mentioned it when I brought it up it was all raw inside complete garbage oh my god look at all this look at all these congrats there you go you don't even have to wear the hijab anymore. Good work, though. Now become a

featherweight YouTube fighter. What's featherweight? 240? Or is featherweight really low? Featherweight is like 140. Is that like 140? Yeah. That would make sense. Featherweight. What am I thinking of? Mike Tyson was a legendary featherweight fighter. Evander Holyfield. What's the other one? Welterweight? Heavyweight. Is that it? Yeah.

But there's one in between. There's a many in between. There's many in between. Dave for two. Right on, fat man. Only 80 pounds more to go. There you go. I'm still BMI. How much for you to weigh yourself every week?

What can we get it up to? 100 bucks? I don't think people are going to pay 100 bucks for me to weigh myself. I could pool it. I could pool it. No, one. Just got to be one. 50 bucks.

One 50 bucks to weigh yourself. I'll do it. I'll do it for you know. I could pool it. No, one. Just got to be one. 50 bucks. One 50 bucks to weigh yourself. I'll do it. I'll do it for 50 bucks. 50 bucks. I'll write it down right here so I don't forget. Which you get half of, so you're happy about that. I'll write it down backwards. Yeah, write it down backwards.

Dead Cat for two. Congratulations, Vito. Season two of weight loss. Look, maybe we could do another challenge, but we got to come up with a new gimmick. I got to lose 50 pounds. I can't believe you did. Such a great moment. Honestly, like I said, last week, the only reason I put it off was because I was like,

I have to get below 290. Because if I can't lose 20 pounds, it's like truly embarrassing. That's pathetic. That would have been pathetic. Yeah. And then I got below 290 like pretty quick. I'm going to fucking hammer it. And I was like, you know what?

Let me just like go for it and see what happens. And I went for it and I'm like, okay. Good. Now you got to go do a press tour. Yeah, I'm going to really inspire America. MSG Enthusiast for seven Canadian crats. Big guy. Don't fuck up like a simple creature and gain it all back. Don't gain it back. I'm gaining five back at least.

Stephen Tuthill for five. Congratulations, Vito. Now I don't have to kill myself. Again, some of you guys are too emotionally tied up. Yeah, that's good. End it with that. Vito, if you don't keep losing weight, I'm going to kill myself. I'm not a movie character, okay? There is no journey.

Yeah, you're real. That's why it's worse. People want there to be like a real-life character arc where like, oh, he gets better. There obviously was. There obviously was. You hit the darkest point of your soul at the live show when you lost the weigh-in in front of all those people. There was even a fucking false victory last week

when we thought we were going to weigh you in and you didn't. We did the whole thing. The whole thing was constructed as a movie arc, Vito. I see the arc. I'm just saying. Everything that happens by accident. But it's actually very difficult. I hate you guys. This is all stupid. Joe, cool for five. It's my birthday tomorrow

and all I wanted was for Vito to win. Stop it. Thank you, Vito. You inspired me to lose weight too. Yes. I don't want to inspire anyone. You're inspired. Go eat more.

Everyone tell Vito your inspiration stories. I'll read them. I'll read them all. Go eat a bunch of tacos. Okay. LP Dirty T for two. Maddox lost and Vito is the winner.

Wet Banner for five. Good job, Vito. See, you didn't even need that scam drug, Ozempic. I can't take that shit. It makes me throw up. When you get to the higher doses... Did you stop taking it? Yeah, because it's just fucking... I'm going to try going back on... I don't think it's good. People are...

Their brains are melting out. They're throwing up feces and stuff. So for 20% of people, you get heavy nausea when you hit the high doses, and I'm in that 20%. Okay. Because I was like, I took it, and I just threw up for, like, two straight days, and I was like, okay, I either need to stay on a lower dose or just find something else. Just stop drinking Mountain Dew.

Well, I don't know about that. I did stop. Prime. Look, I have to say I like this Logan Paul guy now because I don't know if he's... Yeah, why are you drinking Logan Paul's thing? It tastes really good. Tastes good? Yeah. I want a Prime

sponsorship. I love this stuff. I crave these now. Okay. Because you know what? Because so many of those sugar-free energy drinks just taste like shit. This one I think because they use coconut water instead of regular water, I think it tastes better. I think that's what the secret is.

Joe Ray for five. Vito, you did it. You fucking let... Yeah, I lost third. I went from super obese to just regular morbid obese. You did it. Great. What a success. See, I think that's what bothers me so much, is like... You don't feel as accomplished as everyone's treating you. No, I don't feel accomplished at all because nobody's going to come up to me and go,

wow, look at that skinny guy. I'm still a fat piece of shit. I'm just slightly... Look, if I can get back down, I haven't tried putting on the 2XL shirt. If I can get back into the 2XL from the 3XL, I'll be happy. Your shirt's looking a little saggy. I think I'm getting down. You're looking a little roomy.

I'm getting a little bit of room. Knocking futs for five. Vito, you kicked ass. A shot of Wild Turkey 101 for you. Cheers to weight loss. Thank you. I don't have any liquor. I drank it all last night.

Zach Lee for five. Thank you, Zach. David Bland for ten. For the same amount of the time the contest has been going, I went from 280 to 250. The fucked up part is I wasn't even attempting to lose weight. Congrats, Vito. Neither was Vito. Yeah, I wasn't trying at all. And then I

pushed through. Pineapple man for two. Congratulations, Vito. Thank you. Jeff M for 20. Great job, Vito. When's the next weight loss contest? We'll think about it. I don't know if I can go through this fucking drama. You gotta lose weight normally now. You gotta get a good healthy lifestyle for you., you got to lose weight normally now. I got to lose it. Yeah, let's... You got to get a good, healthy lifestyle for you.

I think I have a healthier lifestyle now. I think the pounds will keep coming off. Stick to it. Young guy. You know what I did all week while I would do the weight loss? Play Spider-Man on the PlayStation. Oh. Swinging around town.

You set up gay dates for people. No, I didn't play that one. I played the old one. Bring gay couples their surrogate babies. That's in Spider-Man 2 and this one you had to do fun stuff. Oh, alright. Young God Fieri for 10. Proud of you, Vito. Now lose another 30 pounds.

You F-sler. See, that's the correct Yes, I agree. And Rustica for 2. Vito needs a clinic in Switzerland. Trucker Chrissy. Another trucker for 10. Great job, Vito. Thank you, Chrissy. Fajol gods for five. I wonder how Scott Adams feels about being on Maddox's list of Scott's

stalkers and harassers. No, it's not his wheelhouse. Donu for two. It says Vito lost. Yes. Ominous kelp for five. Good job on doing the bare minimum, Vito. Good job.

It's a lot. I wish everyone would do the bare minimum, to be honest. It feels good. Do I wish it was more? Yes. But if I can stay on track, I'm happy. Gut for bare minimum, to be honest. 30 pounds, it feels good. Do I wish it was more? Yes, but if I can stay on track, I'm happy. Gut for five. Congrats, Fatty. Thank you.

I don't think I'm getting enough credit for stretching out the reveal. Okay. I mean, that was really incredible. Yeah, that really sucked. That was so much cock-teasing. You should have cut to a commercial break. You should have cut to a technical difficulty sign. That's my calling in life, being that guy. Cut to a commercial break. You should have cut to a technical difficulty sign. That's my calling in life, being that guy.

Cut to a commercial break. And we'll find out after this commercial break. Oh! NoggyBuzz for five says, Double or nothing, Vito, are you a gambler? I'll just take the $1,200 and eat a little bit. That's a fuckload of money. Go up to $24.

You're not going to report that on your taxes, are you? Just going to pocket it. Well, now I am. Fucking idiot. LJ Calbarino for two. Not bad fat, so are you going to gain it all back? I will not gain it all back. French fries hamburger, he said.

JJ for two. It says Vito just said he was going to have a cheat weekend. Oh, dude, I'm going hard in the paint. You don't know how many foods I've been thinking about that I have not. I have not had any pasta in like two months. What? I thought I saw you on Twitter with a pizza. That was not my picture.

I told my fucking, she said, he's eating fucking pizza at a weight loss contest. I posted that at 4am. Where did I get a Chicago deep dish pizza at 4am? Well, you would know. I mean, if I needed a Chicago pizza at 4am, I know who I'm calling. I might get a deep dish pizza. I mean, if I needed a Chicago pizza at 4 a.m., I know I'm calling. You know who to call.

I might get a deep dish pizza. I've had no pizza. Why don't you just do drugs instead of getting into all this food nonsense again? Have a drug weekend. Because food is better than drugs. Crazy. I've had no pizza, no pasta. I don't want to fuck you for a bag of hamburgers.

Yeah. I had a little bit of bread. I had like a hot dog here and there. I like hot dogs. Okay. I had a Costco hot dog like a week and a half ago, and that was great. Just cut out the carbs, man. That's really what it is.

Oh, now you can lecture people on weight loss because you won. Well, I don't have to lecture them. Oh, my God. That's so annoying. Oh, my God. Oh, you're right. I'm not going to lecture anyone. But you so annoying. Oh, my God. Oh, you're right. I'm not going to lecture anyone. But you can.

But if anyone goes like, what did you do? I'll say like, just- Here's my whole story. I had to come to terms with wanting to lose weight. No, I'm not going to do that. Wow, fucking annoying. Eat eggs, eat hamburger meat. Oh, when I fucking-

You know what I'd get? I'd get those big shrimp cocktails from the- You ever go to Costco and they got that big thing? It's just shrimp. Yeah. Just eat that. Shrimp's got like no calories in it. Really? A shrimp is like 20 calories or something. What about the marinara sauce? Yeah, well that's the bad part. Just go really

light with it. Can't do that, I'm afraid. You gonna keep going hard in the cocktail? Hard in the paint. Hard in the paint for the cocktail sauce. Brainiac for $31.80 wants a mukbang. No, that's too humiliating Honestly, I didn't want to eat this on camera But I was like, I have to eat I'm desperate

I'm starving Gigawarp for a big And that was a big $30 from Brainiac, thank you Gigawarp for $20, also big I didn't believe in you, Vito, but you won Now challenge Dick to a six-month alcohol-free challenge It's only fair There we go

No, I fail. DryDick.com DryDick.com Check it out now. How dry can he go? I went 28 days when they cut my skull in half and moved my jaw. Oh, shit. I went 28

days after that. That was the longest I've ever been, including when I was a kid. You're welcome for five, says I was honestly going to double the bet, but was stopped by the crypto stuff out of laziness. Honestly, glad I did. Yeah, honestly, guys, I was trying to rope a dope a couple people at the last minute. I was, like, posting something on Twitter, like, well, you know, at least I tried my best or something.

I'm like, can I get a couple extra bucks in there? But I didn't want to go too. Jim Satala for 100 American dollars 99 Call to prayer Dick Maddox Jihad and Vito's weight loss Vito has evolved Yes

Into more powerful Vito Stage 2 Vito has evolved! Yes! Into more powerful Vito. Yes. Stage two Vito. Slightly less weight on the Pokemon card. If I had Pokemon card Vito. Yes. Stage two would have- V-Max?

Yes. Would have 30 pounds- 31.5 pounds less than the other pound. Oh. Maddox card would be absolutely... Basic beach Pokemon. Terrible. Maddox is a fairy energy Pokemon card.

Discontinue. Flip coin. If coin is heads, you are gay. Discontinue. If coin is tails, you are also gay. If coin is Bitcoin, you have none. You have no Bitcoin. No Bitcoin.

Dick has all Bitcoin. Fairy type Pokemon. No Bitcoin. Dick has all Bitcoin. Fairy type Pokemon. Very angry. Angry Pokemon. Flip coin. Obsess about Dick. Heads. Tails. Also obsess about Dick. Very bad Pokemon. Pokemon stuns.

Maddox Pokemon stuns self in confusion. No good. Worse than Magikarp. Worse than Magikarp. Worse than... It does not evolve. It takes too much time adding energy. Adding energy. Adding energy. Adding energy.

This Pokemon takes five years to evolve from cock into mega cock. And even then have no power. Zero HP. Not even Pokemon. Is Digimon. Is Digimon. Way more artistic. Very, very much not a good game.

Not good. I don't even understand how a rat evolved into a refrigerator. Did you evolve this, you stupid bitch piece of shit? But Vito Pokemon, very powerful, very strong. Start as Mega, turn into Mega EX, lose 10 pounds. Vito is legendary. Legendary Pokemon. Uh, yes.

All right. You buying any Pokemon cards? No. Gotta get that 151 set. I was looking at that Sliver Magic. Is it on sale finally? I think the prices are finally coming down on a lot of that stuff. I think so, but the Commander stuff my girlfriend doesn't like.

What? It's complicated. It's not too complicated. It's too much to keep track of. All you keep track of is one guy. I know, but that's the rules, man. I'm going to bring my commander decks over again, and we're going to play.

Random guy, 2324. Well, thank you again, Jim Satala, for $100. Jim's a great supporter of the show. Love him. Love Jim. Thank you for watching me on Rikada and everywhere else, Jim. And don't forget, if you also want to support the show, patreon.com slash biggest problem. Fuck you, pay me on Rikada and everywhere else Jim Don't forget if you also want to support the show Patreon.com slash biggest problem

Fuck you pay me Is that his image? Paul Sorvino I think Random guy 2324 for 5 Canadian Vito have you considered alcoholism? My food diet tends to be way better when I'm drinking more No alcoholism is bad for weight gain Oh man

Well that's the problem is I would drink beer And beer is terrible for weight gain. Oh, man. Well, that's the problem is I would drink beer, and beer's terrible for... I have to work out. I don't like hard liquor that much. I do LaGree Pilates three times a week and feel like I'm going to fucking die just to stay fat. I had a period of time where I'd keep a six-pack in the fridge, and then I'm like, this is just empty calories,

and I'm not getting that much out of it. Yeah. Vito the wig. Get that soundboard ready, because I'm going to give the audience what they love. For $50, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair.

I suck cocks. I suck cocks. I suck cocks. I suck cocks all the time and I lost the weight. Zach Lee for $50. Thank you for $50, Vito the wig. Fantastic. Zach Lee for two. Thank you for 50, Vito the wig. Fantastic. And look at that.

Excellent. We need more wigs for this show. Guys, don't forget. Send your wigs in. Send your wigs in. Zach Lee for two. Good job. Buy a Mountain Dew on me.

Oh, I will. Wet Bandit for two. Diet Mountain Dew. Get a Diet Mountain Dew. You need to put up a... Well, I'll get the Diet Mountain Dew. Actually, the Diet Mountain Dew sucks. Diet Sprite's good, though.

Can you buy two and mix them together? How about I get a- Can you buy a diet and a regular and mix them together? I'll get a Diet Double Dew. What's that? Well, Double Dew has twice the calories of regular Mountain Dew. Jesus. But thankfully, they make Diet-

So you're getting a regular Mountain Dew? They make Diet Double Dew, which is half the calories of Double Dew. This is a South Park- It's a South Park bitch. Oh, it is? Okay. Cartman's all excited. That is real.

They're like, Cartman, what are you drinking? He's like, Double Dew. And they're like, don't drink that shit. He's like, oh, don't worry. I got Diet Double Dew. It's got half the calories of Double Dew.

Wet Bandit for two. It says you need to put up a no fumar sign. I don't speak Mexican. What the fuck does that mean? Maddox thought no fumar meant no farting. Oh, shit. What does it actually mean?

No smoking. Yeah, that's what I thought. Because it's always accompanied by a cigarette. Yeah, it always has a cigarette. No farting. World-renowned Geohound, my grandio brother for two. Love you, silly geese, the Larry David of YouTube shows. Yes, it is the Curb Your Enthusiasm of YouTube shows.

Curb Your Enthusiasm of YouTube shows. Joe Cool for five. Not the Dharma and Greg. We're very Dharma and Greg. What kind of reference is that? I don't know. When's the last time anyone watched Dharma and Greg? Didn't that show go off the air in like 98?

It's a very odd and gay reference. It's an ancient reference. That's the other thing. That's why Maddox is fucked. He can't connect with a young audience. He's making Dharma and Greg references. I'm hanging out with Adam 22. Yeah, you're hip and young.

Got fucking Bo Blacks in here. Yeah. Somebody did. How'd you kids like some cocaine? Yeah, cool. There have been some comments that are like, wait, why are Bo Blacks and Turkey Tom over there? I'm like, because we're their cool uncles, man. Because they're cool. Because they're funny. They're fun. We're hip with the young

boys. Joe Cool for Five asks, when are all those corn stars you met at Adam 22's party going to come on either shows? Soon. Also, if you don't want to interview guests, you should do it on the Dick Show. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't supposed to be an interview. I mean, come on. We try new things.

We're figuring out formats still. Guests are good. We get to poach their audiences. Everyone loves Adam Sessler. See? I think Carl's just maybe a little freaked out, too, because we're hitting him with so much stuff. Carl's a great guest, and I want to have him back.

And we just maybe didn't give him enough whatever. Vegetable Spy for five. You guys see the new topless meta on Twitch? Have you seen this on Twitch where they're wearing super high cut or low cut like bras, but they frame the camera so it just kind of looks like... They're not wearing bras. I don't know what they're wiggling around too much. Maybe you're right. Maybe they are just actually naked.

I know. Where's my 18 plus section with naked people playing video games? Yeah. Hey, that's a great fucking question. Why can't cigarette companies advertise online and then so we can be done with all of this censorship shit? Brought to you by fucking Marlboro. Awesome. A naked chick playing fucking... Doing Mario speed runs. Brought to you by fucking Marlboro. Awesome.

A naked chick playing fucking Mario, doing Mario speed runs, playing Final Fantasy for an hour and a half. Cool. You're not going to get that until we're allowed to have sex video games. We're still not allowed to have sex video games. So until that happens, Puritanism,

this fake Puritanism is like so fucking weird. Yeah. I'm like, we have to protect all these children from porn. I'm like, every 12 year old in this country is on Pornhub. You can't, we have to protect all these children from porn. I'm like, every 12 year old in this country is on Pornhub.

You can't, and you're not doing anything to stop it and you won't. When I was 12, if you try to keep naked women from me, I'll kill you.

The second I found the internet, I said, I wonder if there's naked women on here and there was and I just kept looking at them.

Okay? Like, unless you're one of these families who puts like- I'm stealing nudie magazines. If you don't have some sort of strict parental locks on your kid's iPad, he is looking at porn right now. Okay?

And all these families are like living in denial and they're like, our kids are getting turned gay by the school library. I'm like, no, your kids are getting turned gay by whatever fucking- First of all, nothing has ever turned anything gay. Or ever been gay. Yeah, your gay kid is just online, and he's looking at shit you probably don't want him to look at, and what are you going to do? Figure it out.

Dave for five, has anyone seen Maddox and Stuttering John at the same time? No, but they should team up. Shout out WATP. We love Carl over at WATP. SkippyO for five. Vito, have you been collecting names from the TDS Facebook page so you can dox us all in seven years? Yes. James Gardner for five.

Congratulations, Vitos. You guys need a pull-up shirt so that dummy still feels important. We should make a pull-up shirt with Ricky Retardo on it. Yeah. We'll figure that out. Bob Duato. Did you see they have a what's your favorite part? Yeah.

They're very proud of that. Can't just answer the question, but we can make a t-shirt illustrating the fact that there's... What's your favorite part? Well, what is your favorite part? I don't have to tell you that. This t-shirt. Yeah, this cool t-shirt.

It's fascinating. Bob Duato. Biggest problem is seeing a band that's only crossover famous for a couple songs and then they don't play some of them. Well. Sucks. Bands don't want to play their hits. Spider Eternal for five.

Maddox is too stupid to understand the juxtaposition of his seriousness versus Dick's jokes problems, which made the old show hilarious. I thought it was on purpose. It was on purpose from me, because I saw that he was not bringing in any comedy problems, so I would just bring in funny problems. Yeah, it was like if Carl Jost every week brought in serious problems. Yeah, you kind of like have a balance it out. Alright, that's why I would always get his

problems first, so I knew what he was doing, and I could do the, if he was doing a joke, I would do serious one. Yeah, you could do the opposite or whatever. Okay, so you could balance it out. Michael winning for two, says, Notice me, senpai. I will not, and I've already forgotten your name. Rev for five, Maddox's reasoning for madly texting an 80s girl during the wedding was wildly hilarious.

I didn't watch that part because it's so cringy to hear a guy talk about his old girlfriend. I'll have to actually sit through that part. From 12 years ago? Yeah. I don't want to sit through that part, but I was like, oh, God. The second he starts doxing her, I was like, oh, this just makes me uncomfortable, and I don't want to watch it. Sick to sick for

five. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning is winning. Good job, Vito. I'll take the win. Sick too sick for five. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning is winning. I'll take the win. I'll take the W. Yeah, he was upset that I drove home with 80s girl because... He thought you were drinking or something? Not because he thought we were banging it out,

but because I was drinking, but not because I was drinking, because she wouldn't let him drink when they were dating. So he was mad about being a turbo cuck. What do you mean he's allowed to drink? I wasn't allowed to drink. First of all, I'm not saying that's true, but if you're saying that's true, that's fucking pathetic, bro.

That's something I would never bring up ever. I had to text my ex-girlfriend to let her know she was a hypocrite. How come he's allowed to drive drunk and not me? That's truly pathetic. Again, this is why- That's turbo cock. That's the part I can't watch because it's just too embarrassing. Flirk, respect her for 10.

Washington State live show in Bellingham soon. Why do you all want us to go to Washington State? I don't know, but I guess we can. Somebody today was asking me if I've ever been to Seattle. I've only been once. And I had a good time. Let's see. Utah-based, Romania for five.

Congratulations on the weight loss veto. I'm 100% confident you will be this generation's Subway Jared. The difference between me and Jared is I'll never get caught on fucking. You ever hear the audio recordings where it's like, did you really think that mom wanted you to fuck her kid? And you just are like talking about it. Actually, they were putting that documentary out in parts, and I never finished it.

I should finish the Subway Jared documentary. James Gardner for two says, Vito, you're still fat, but I love you. And take care of yourself. Don't know for five. Vito's weight had a better character arc than I some. I agree with that. Midori Kawawa for a big 50 Australian dollars. This has been a great episode. Congrats

to Dick for getting Maddox back. Congrats to Vito for the weight loss. You're truly an inspiration to us all. Let's bring in Ricky to top it all off. What a show, guys. Three hours of characters and weight loss and Maddox. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Not me. No, not you, Mr. Isomnox. Not me, you dumb cracker. You dumb cracker. Cracker ass. Congratulations on your weight loss, Evito. Shut up. You'd have never survived back in slavery days. No, I would not have survived back in slavery.

I would have survived slavery times. Apes fucking slaves could probably sleep on you, float you across a fucking ocean. How about that? This shirt does look loose. Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, hello. Hello. You still have ice on one.

I know, Vino. Hi, Ricky. Sorry it took me a little while. How you been? Oh, bad. Bad? Why bad? My comic came out. But isn't that exciting?

Aren't people excited to see your first comic book, Alpha Corps? Oh, are they? But I don't have any good lines in the comic. You don't? I recorded some. Okay, well what lines did you prepare for the comic that didn't make it in? I like turtles. I like turtles, okay. That's a good one. Well, that's not a good superhero. Oh, look at the big boobies on that lady. No, no. You need like a superhero catchphrase. Did you prepare like a catchphrase? Yeah. Okay. Well, that's

what you need. You need like a slogan like Superman, you know, truth, justice, and the American way. Now who's retarded? That was my catchphrase. Now who's retarded? That's not a good one. Beat the bad guys in the penis. I think you need to workshop that, Ricky. Now who's retarded?

Now who's retarded doesn't have the same sort of. No, it doesn't land as good. Hey, I have a three-hour documentary that I'm going to release. Oh. You think that's a good idea? Well, I know another mentally challenged individual who did that, but I don't think it worked out Yeah, it would be as well for him. Yeah, it would be cool to show support for me.

I'm retarded. He's retarded. I mean, come on. I only retarded people that released three hour documentaries right now. How retarded guys are making documentaries right now? People who fucked us wrong, that's over in some way. Ricky, I feel like you should focus on your superhero adventures. Don't worry about making documentaries.

Well, I got to do a screencap of all everyone who's said the N-word ever. Okay. I'm gonna make a video of that. That's gonna take a while. I don't know if that's gonna That's gonna end evil. What do you think about that, B-Bone? I know another guy who tried to end evil by collecting all these receipts and screenshots.

I just think you don't want to go down that path, Ricky. You're too talented of an individual to... Oh, I am? Thank you. Hey, congratulations on your weight loss. Thank you, Ricky. Even a retarded person could figure out how to lose 30 pounds in six months. Can't fuck a pathetic egg flea.

Okay, thank you, Ricky. Drinking Mountain Dew. You know, Ricky, I try it. You know, it's not always easy. Yeah, what? We all have our struggles. I struggle with weight. I struggle with getting hit in the head.

That's why I have this helmet. That's why you have the helmet. Yeah, yeah. And plot. I don't know anything about plot. You don't know anything about plot. Why is the art in my comic books a little weird in places? Well, there's some odd art, I think.

There's some weird proportions. There's like a tiny face in some places. People's noses are a little oddly proportioned. Yeah, the fingers are a little weird. The sunglasses change shape from panel to panel. That's weird, too. Did I draw it or what? I don't know.

What's the deal? What's the deal? Well, Ricky, I mean, it made a million dollars. Do you think it looks like a million dollar piece of artwork? Maybe like a million doll hairs. Doll hairs? Oh, Ricky. That's what retarded people say. Is that what retarded people say?

Yeah. What are you excited about for Alpha Corps 2? Well, I have to read the first one, but, you know, I obviously want to learn more about the Alpha Corps. I think it's pretty cool that guy that's like Superman is head of Texas or something. Yeah. Texas Superman, that's cool. Well, yeah, he's Texas Superman. Texas man.

Pretty cool. Probably should have just been about him, the whole thing then. Well, don't you think Isom, you know, fighting a drug dealer and then going to hell for some reason is fascinating? I think that sounds like retarded. I saw him, you know, fighting a drug dealer and then going to hell for some reason is fascinating. I think that sounds like retarded. All right, Ricky, get out of here. Wait, wait. You got to close it out.

You moved your mouse. Okay. Thank you, Ricky Retardo. And thank you again to Midori Kawa for putting us over the top. We love Ricky. Ryan Young for 10. Katya loved the show. Glad to see Vito alive.

Hey, I'm trying. Giga Warp for 20. Laughing my ass off at Dick. Immediately dismissing the six-month alcohol-free challenge after badgering Vito for his weight loss challenge. Vito won. Yeah. There's just nothing worth it. I don't care.

It's also hard to track. It's not like you can lower your body's alcohol content. It's easy to track, Vito. Well, you can track not drinking, but I'm saying it doesn't like... Just see if I'm tweeting at 3 a.m. Fail. Knucking futs for five. Alcohol is a weight gain unless that's all you

have for the day. What? I'm saying if you only drink alcohol you won't gain weight, but if you're using it... Drink alcohol and then eat everything in the house And again Giggle Warp thank you for the big 20 Knucking Fuss for 5 Tyler P for 10 Congrats on loosing the weight Vito

Everyone knows loosing weight makes your knees smell better So you don't gain it back Google nope Thank you that's it Well it's almost it I'm giving it one more refresh. And then we're going to be done. Guys, we had a great show.

Scoopio for two. Washington State live show. Drain Jade for five. How much a month to subsidize Bad Axe's Patreon and become the first $1,000 tier where you become a benefactor and have direct email access? I think everyone has direct email access. Is that his tier for $1,000? You get to email him whatever you want? Yeah, it's like a joke, right? Yeah.

Thinking that someone would do it. Some people do that stuff. Fancy lad for two. I'm trying to gain weight. Can't pass 140. Well, that's your problem, idiot. Start drinking cum. I want to bring up the top supporters of the show.

We love our dickheads. We love our veto files. Don't forget. This is the docs list now. Yeah, this is the docs list. He can put this somewhere. Don't forget. Get is the docs list now. Yeah, this is the docs list. He can put this somewhere. Don't forget, get bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggest problem. We will have

a new bonus episode, hopefully within the next week. We'll do it next week. Next week. Look, it's been a big Maddox week. Dick's been dealing with a lot. And I've been starving myself, which I will now undo. At least 10 pounds of that weight is coming back. You gotta weigh yourself next week to see how much you gain.

If they give 50 bucks, they can get a weight. 50 bucks if you need to check back in. Biggestproblem.show. I'm going to be back at 290. Everyone's going to go, God fucking damn it. Patreon.com slash biggestproblem. Bye, everybody. Vote on the problems at biggestproblem.show.

That Maddox, huh? What a guy.