The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 125

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

Okay, maybe like two or three seconds. Can I stop the pass from happening? Maybe two or three seconds will go by. Yeah, two or three seconds. That's what I'm wondering. How much time do I have to stop what must be undone? It depends on the lag between our streaming thing and that thing. Oh.

Look at this. More home repair. I got this right here. This bulb. I have the intention of going on Amazon and getting a replacement bulb for this. You know it's not going to happen? You're not going to buy a replacement? All that that I just said.

You have a computer in front of you. I've been sitting here for six years. Just go on Amazon right now during the show. Fuck up the show? Put my Amazon list up there for everybody to see and make fun of? I don't know, man. Let me get a level out of you. Test one, one, two.

Test one. Harumph, harumph, harumph. Let me get a harumph out of that guy. Oh, come on, Dick. All right. That sounds pretty good., harumph. Let me get a harumph out of that guy. Oh, come on, Dick. All right. That sounds pretty good. A little too much. I think that sounds good.

I'm sure. How do I look? How do you look at what? I want to see my lighting. Oh, you look bad. Are all the lights on this time? Oh, you look bad. Shut up.

Bad, bad. Your hat's sticking into my frame because you're too close. Okay. There you go. Okay. Three minutes. Three minutes. frame because you're too close okay there you go okay three minutes three minutes I need a Popeye sound effect for when I open a beer let me find if I can get one of those a bottle of a bump oh yeah that's what you want sound effect Uh Yeah fucking Let's see how badly this is cropped Bad

Just that part I don't want all that extra shit Right Yeah But should I You gotta trim it Like they're not gonna trim it for you Have you ever used Freesound

I don't want a bunch of like Do you know Freesound I use Audacity Go to Freesound? I don't want a bunch of like... Do you know Freesound? I use Audacity. Go to freesound.org. Do you have an account there or no? I've just learned about it just a second ago. What do you mean do I have an account there? How do you not have a Freesound account?

It's where everyone gets this... What's a Freesound? Freesounds. It's just a complete... It's a user generated... Yeah, but are they free? Yes. There's always some kind of scam.

Like, that's our version of Triple A plumber Is free whatever Right Open the millennial phone book Free sounds okay keep going I know that like You can download them all for free The question is did the people who upload them

Actually own them No the answer is no Probably not but if you get in any legal trouble You can say well that guy said he owned it so it's his fault go sue him man yeah go see him uh what are you doing i'm uh tweeting the show out on our twitter account okay and i will tag you i guess i'll just play it by hand then. Do whatever feels right. But I don't want to have that gay, like, right? Hey, can you bring up Chuck Dixon's tweet, his stupid tweet?

Because I'm going to talk about that for one of my proms. Oh, boy. Oh, Chuck-a-rama. What happened, buddy? What happened to you, buddy? Just spring up the tweet, and I'll be able to show that guy off. It got community noted. It did?

Oh, yeah. He's not making, he got Dom Lukered. Spreading misinformation. What is his name? Chuck Dixon is gay? Dixon-verse. Dixon-verse. I think.

Okay. I think it still is like... Chuck slash I love cops Dixon. Did he finally delete it? Let me see here. Looks like it. I guess he maybe deleted it. Oh, what a chicken.

Well, I think I must have it saved. I'll do it. Do I have to go to my yeah go to mine oh man Vito Here, I'll just find it. Uh-huh. I got it. I got it. I'll find it. Okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What's even the point of tweeting YouTube links? Nobody sees them. There it is.

Mm-hmm. All right. Vito, you really got these conservatives. They're just, they can be less sneaky, guys. Yeah. All right, what time are we live? I don't know. Oh, shit, the show's starting.

Blah. You ready? Yes. Let me make sure it's going. Okay. Looks good to me And then Transing Initiating

Transing Of the show Chopping penises off I'm transitioning Into my truest form Sewing Water wiener onto Groin

You know those things that you I know a water wiener You can grab A.K.A. baby's first auto stroker or whatever. I don't know what sound you just tried to play. Me either. I looked for the sound and I couldn't think of one. What?

Every teenage kid, you never put your dick in a water wiggler before? You said baby's first jack-off. You said baby's first dick jack-off machine. Well, not baby. You know. Well, when you got one of those things, if you were the right age and got one of those water wobbly tubes. Water wiener. Yeah, water wiener.

And then you put your penis in it. And then you found a baby? No, you didn't find a baby. Johnny's first. Why would you start the show off like that? Well, you brought the water wiener. I don't know. Okay. Hey, they're trans and the kids young now, so who cares? None of this matters. You think they're going to take it back? You think when all the silent generations are dead and the boomers are dead and the millennials are 80 and living in Disney retirement hovels? Yes. Shanty towns? You think they're still going to be transing each other?

Yeah, they'll all be trans. Gamer Hoovervilles they'll have. Why not? Living in shipping containers, sleeping on top of each other for warmth to mine bitcoins. Trash coins. Bart coins. They're going to be mining Bart coins by sleeping with their dicks in each other's asses. Man, I really don't want to think about what it's going to be like when we're old.

You better start thinking, buckaroo. I don't want to. You better start. I know. It's not that far off. Whoa! I hope those toys are mooning. Going to the moon. No, it's all going far off. Whoa! I hope those toys are mooning. Going to the moon.

No, it's all going down. It's going down? Yeah, that's why I've been buying those magic cards, because the prices are finally coming down. They're probably going to keep coming down. Are you... I have a present, a very special present that I have to open. Oh, okay. But I've got to wait until you're properly energized.

Is it a dress for when I fully trans myself as an old lady? No. When you just go. It needs a high energy reception. I think those are the trans people who are the most interesting, like the ones who at age 60 are like, time to go for it. And you're like, well, why though? Like, just because it sucks so much now, you're like,

oh, I can only get better from it, you know? It's something to do, I guess. Is this part of your new type 5 that you said you were working on? Yeah, very type 5. It sucks so much now. You're like, oh, it can only get better for me. You know? It's something to do, I guess. Is this part of your new type five that you said you were working on? Yeah, very type five. What's the deal with 60s trans ladies? Trans ladies. No, it's just like, I mean, like with Caitlyn Jenner, like. Yeah.

But that almost makes more sense because like. It's awesome. And then right away, she killed a guy in her car. Wham. That's my type five. Well, she'd gotten as far as you can get, right? It's like, as the Kris Jenner. Wait, what's?

Yeah, I'm going to start. Like, when you beat Mario, you start over and it's harder. Or Zelda or whatever. They swap all the levels around. Bruce Jenner had reached the apex, was on some reality shows, whatever. There was nowhere else for Bruce Jenner to go. Yeah, I get it. I was like, well, might as well do the Caleb thing, because then at least, yeah, some new challenges.

The rest of them, I feel like they had some growing to do, some achievements that were still locked. Yeah, still left in the tank. Yeah, that's a good point. Has anyone ever sat them down and talked to them like that? Flipped the chair around? Is there some guy stuff you want to do before you commit to the lady stuff forever? But instead of flipping your chair around, you'd tuck your penis around. Let me just tuck my penis around. So you want to do before you commit to the lady stuff forever. But instead of flipping your chair around, you'd tuck your penis around. Let me just tuck my penis around.

So you want to become a lady. I think I have a lot left to accomplish as a man on this earth. Although I already got the ID, so who knows. Everything. I think I'd be pretty good. Everything left to accomplish. I think if I went trans, do you think people would be surprised if I was a, you know,

got like the hormones and the breasts? I think they would feel like they were getting duped into paying attention to you somehow. See, that's the thing. They would be annoyed. I think everybody would know that it's like, oh, he's just like. Oh, God. I see the PR potential. Let's put it that way.

We watched Lady Ballers. We did watch Lady Ballers. It's available. It was recorded in a way that I don't feel comfortable with posting to our Patreon. So I'll just put it that way. I might post it on my Patreon. My Patreon sucks. Dick was like, let's not put it on our Patreon because it's not recorded in the most ethical way.

There's going to be a way for you guys to get it, I assume. You know what? Maybe the worst movie ever made. Lady Ballers was. Made me happy that cancer exists. It was surprisingly bad, again, because Ben Shapiro is Jewish, and I would have assumed he would have explained basic story structure to them. He's like an accounting Jew, though.

They split him very. They have very strong sexual Jewish dimorphism among men. I'm definitely seeing that Ben Shapiro is an accounting Jew who wanted to be a storytelling Jew. But, you know, and he watched all the other storytelling Jews have fun. See, you can go the other way. You can be a storytelling Jew and become an accountant. He's like, where'd the money go, Bernie Madoff? Oh, man, you're never going to believe this.

There I was walking down the street, twerking towers, falling down. Jerry Seinfeld comes over. He's fucking a 17-year-old. I said, wow, street, twerking towers, falling down. Jerry Seinfeld comes over. He's fucking a 17-year-old. I said, wow. Whoa. Oy vey. Like, man, fucking so much. That's why we're getting money.

It's great. Thank you. But the great Jewish storytellers. You go, Bernie Madoff is at the top of that list. Was he Jewish? I don't know. I mean, come on. He was a great storyteller, and he was good at getting that money.

At a certain point, you do so much crime that it's respectable again. You're Italian. What am I? Thank you. Come on. I'm bringing sand to the beach here. Thank you. I'm bringing fucking Capicola to the mafia over here.

Exactly. I became one of the storytelling Italians, which are not nearly as successful as the mobster ones. When did you become a storytelling Italian? Once I launched my hit comic book, Super Killer. Let's get a counter. Let's get a counter. How long does it take for the first Super Killer plug?

Oh, shut up. 12 minutes. That was 12 minutes and 43 seconds. Oh, man. Do you want this present? Am I doing it now? Now you see him energized. All right.

Sure. I've been putting this off for a while. You know what? I'll do the theme first. Is it like I'll roll? I'll do the theme first Is it like a fun first? I'll do the theme first! I'm doing the theme first! I'm very excited for my present. No, it's not for you. It's a present for the show

Biggest problem in the universe Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from leaky pipes to Pokemon swipes. Yeah! I'm your host Dick Madsen. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hi, Dick. What's up, man?

How you doing? How you been? I think I'm okay. Are you okay? Yeah. So I'm back on a regular sleep schedule. Hit me with the hot stuff This is my favorite

Tell me about how you're sleeping What kind of dreams you've had lately I've had a lot of dreams In order to go to bed at a normal time I have to take a bunch of sleeping pills I had to jack off 50 times You took sleeping pills? So you're going to be tweeting some racist stuff

I took sleeping pills last night. I haven't taken them now. No one accused you of that yet. I know. I know. I don't tweet racist things. I did appear on the Lol Cow podcast, and I got a great discussion going, and Keem cut it off. Did you listen to that?

I listened to Ralph come on and basically body. Ralph was like the Nishimaru coming in, slaughtering whales. Yeah, he was really going hard at Wings of Redemption. I've never seen two fat men get bodied that hard. Ralph came in for one V1, and Boogie comes over, and he's like, like the Matrix, you know, in that move? Except all the agent smiths are just fat pigs. One fucking a 20-year-old, and the other one's thinking about fucking 12-year-olds. that move? Except all the agent smiths are just fat pigs. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

It was, uh... One fucking a 20-year-old, and the other one's thinking about fucking 12-year-olds. Well, there's some questionable things in both of those men's pasts, I suppose. Man, Wings, Wings has gotta practice that I'm not a pedophile speech, I've never watched child porn shit. Dragging Kyle from P.K. into it is not the move. That's not... Wait, was he throwing Kyle under the bus?

Yeah, Ralph said, so did you watch child porn or what? And Wings says, well, you know, I was watching a video that Kyle from PKA sent to me, and Ralph's like, I'd like to have a word with Kyle, man. This is the answer. Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings. This is the answer. No. Yeah, I can't answer that question. I never watched that shit. I have not.

I never watched that shit. I don't know what you're talking about. Right. If I said something, it was just crazy shit I was saying to be funny because I'm not funny, and I panic and then say, you know. The only child pornography I watch is, of course, licensed by Netflix, which makes it okay. Wrong answer. I've never seen that stupid movie. Did you see Epic LLC say that they banned Kiwi Farms because they found child pornography?

Yeah, Kiwi Farms had underage child sexual abuse injury. But Epic says, oof. I mean, that's their domain register. I mean, that's an official source. They said they found it. I don't know. I don't know. I know it would be hosting such a thing.

I don't want to see the evidence. Look, you got evidence. I mean, that's between you and God. I'm not interested. Then they started posting, like, censored evidence. I'm like, I don't even think you can show the censored evidence, Epic. I don't want to see that. Now you can see it.

I've seen that on Maury Povich, I think, when I was a kid. They're like, look at this shit. I can't see it. Let me get in there. How does that work? That's not. You can't see that. No, you can see it. I've seen that on Maury Povich, I think, when I was a kid. They're like, look at this shit. I can't see it. Let me get in there. How does that work? That's not, you can't have that. Because no one cares about any people at all. It's just about selling.

Point I was going to make is I was on the local podcast, and I got Boogie talking about his experience growing up in an African-American community, and then Keem cut it off because he was worried. Because Boogie was like, I do have a lot of insights on what African-Americans were doing during the 90s, which was the time I was growing up there. And I said, really? What kind of foods were they eating? And Boogie went, well, actually, the interesting thing about that.

And then Keem cut it. And I'm like, oh, come on. I got Boogie talking about African-Americans. That show is fucking terrible. The only way those guys are funny is if somebody is fucking with them. Yeah, comes and fucks with them. That's it. Otherwise, just quit.

They're terrible. I mean, I don't. It's one of those ideas that you have in theory. Like, what if we got the two biggest losers? But the thing is, what they don't understand is all these shows. Like, you watch, what, 600-pound fat guy can't lose the weight? Yeah, I love it. Yeah, that works.

Dr. No. Because you have Dr. No. Yeah, he comes in there and he's a doctor. He's like, oh, man, he can say whatever he wants. And the fat people have to go to him to get their fat all scooped out. So he's uncancellable. He can say anything. So the fat, pathetic guys aren't necessarily entertaining on their own.

You would think maybe they are because they supposedly are entertainers. But no, you need somebody to corral them. But they want to be liked so badly that they never say anything interesting. That's what makes them lolcows. Both of them are complete pieces of shit.

Everyone is kind of a piece of shit, but they're worse. The other problem is the audience has beaten them up so much that now they're worse. Well, the other problem is that the audience has beaten them up so much that now they're terrified to let loose. Not enough. You guys ruin these lolcows, right? No, no, no. I disagree with you on that one. You think so? I think that you

give them so much shit that eventually they're like, well, then I'm just not going to say anything controversial. I'm like, no, no. Keep saying controversial. You have to treat it like the whack pack on Howard Stern where you know they're retarded, but you don't let them know that you know they're retarded. Or you're like, yeah, no, it is totally normal to talk about black people. You have to treat it like the whack pack on Howard Stern where you know they're retarded, but you don't let them know that you know they're retarded. Or you're like, yeah, no, it is totally normal to talk about black people. You have to convince them that everything they're saying and doing is totally normal.

Just call them a pedophile over and over again. We all look. It's like UFC with Brazilian jiu-jitsu, okay? They found the perfect martial art, and they just hit it over and over. We found the perfect martial art And they just hit it over and over We found the perfect blood sports Argument You just call them a pedophile And scream at them that they're a pedophile

Over and over until they lose their minds Well I saw that Wings of Redemption is now threatening to quit the show Because of Ralph Keep it up! Pedophile! Pedophile! Pedophile! More! More! More! Bring me bitches and pedophiles! This is not the kind of entertainment we need. Look, I don't know what's going to happen with the Ol' Cal podcast.

Boogie went on Maddox's live Q&A, and he didn't even do anything good that would get him attention. All he had to do was call in and say, you're fucking up, Maddox. Everyone thinks he's fucking up, but Boogie chose to call in and kiss Maddox's ass. Like a total fucking pussy. Blown opportunity, Boogie. Blown opportunity. Next time you talk to Maddox. Hold on.

What? Well, he didn't even know what was going on. That's the problem. Everybody knows what's going on. He's not paying attention to Maddox. No one is. That's the other problem is Maddox goes, oh, did you see my big documentary I put out on Dick Maddox?

And he's like, no. No one's watching that shit. I don't blame Boogie for not watching that shit. It's exhausting. His daughter is, or whatever that is that he's living with. Boogie's child bride. Daughter, yeah. What is she?

I think that, look, I think Boogie knows that what Maddox is doing is silly. All-star reps. This is the present. I'm opening the present in the front. These are for my car, because we're going to wrap my car in anime, ladies, right? Yes. Oh, man.

If it doesn't fit, rip the padding out. This is all-star wraps. He's got OJ's car for some reason on his business card. I don't know. These are nice color schemes here. We got the red and white. And this is the present, Vito. This is an honor.

What the fuck? No way! Wait, did he fucking make that? Holy shit! Dude, that's the fucking- That's Ricky Ritardo's helmet! It's Ricky Ritardo on the helmet! Oh yeah, it's- You didn't get a copy of Alpacorn, didn't you? Wow.

It's getting pretty big reviews, I hear. Well, we didn't have a- Ethan VanSkyver's reviewing it pretty highly. Ethan VanSkyver's currently- He said everyone looked equally bad. Ethan VanSkyver said everyone in this book looks horrible, okay? Yeah. That means me and all the not-retarded people as well,

so I think that's a pretty big win for me and my people. I think you did pretty good, Ricky. I'm the first retarded black guy, I think, in comics. Except for Beetlejuice, but they never made a comic out of Beetlejuice. They never made a comic out of Beetlejuice. You're the first. It's an airman. Describe what it is for people, Vito.

Well, I mean, if you've seen Ricky Retardo, it is an airman's helmet with the goggles built in. Because walking for me is the same as flying for you. So I wear an airman helmet all the time. So you don't fall down. That's number one. Don't fall down. Number two, always know that I'm upright because I sometimes get confused. And of course, you know, it's a military helmet

with no sort of cool insignia or anything because Alpha Corps has no branding other than green. Alpha Corps. Say it right. Don't say it like it's not corpse like you're saying. It's core. Alpha-core. You got to really emphasize the O and the R and the E.

And the total misspelling. You got to emphasize. I do. You got to emphasize, I said. You got to emphasize the O, the R, and the E. Wow. Does the bit still work? Is that a picture?

I mean... Good to be brought to you by All Star Wraps. This bit is brought to you by All Star Wraps. It's going to wrap Vito's car. This is the... Rick and Tarta is really here. They're going to wrap Vito's car. I want an Alphacore car.

So anyway, did you see in my comic that I kicked a water pipe in it? A water pipe sticking out of the ground. Not a fire exting pipe in it? A water pipe sticking out of the ground. Not a fire extinguisher, but a water pipe sticking out of the ground. And it shot a bunch of water all over the flame. A flamer. A flamer. A flamer. A flamer.

Only steers and firemen come from Texas, Vito. I think when Eric July started planning out his comic series, at no point did he envision that someone was going to then go and make it a helmet. He shouldn't have been calling people to N-Word who can't call him back then. That's a big fucking mistake. I just picture Eric July seeing this and going,

God fucking damn it, it's never going to fucking end, is it? It could be worse. It could be worse. I could have drawn the yellow flash comic and be living in a trailer behind my house because you won't pay me money up front for doing it. All I had to do was shut his fucking mouth and instead we have Dick. We have Ricky Ricardo in real life.

What do you mean in real life? Eric, this is why you don't fuck with comedians. This is why you don't threaten to sue comedians. Because I don't know what's gonna happen next. Don't look at me. Anything could happen. A big helicraft carrier could come falling out of the sky.

Oh, well. What did you think about, did you read Alpha Core? Because I just watched Ethan Manz do a review of it. Superman with the fade cut, a weird proud boy Superman haircut that he had, he crashed the helipad ship because he plugged child pornography into the computer? Is that what happened?

Hold on, Ricky. Superman, Texas Superman, plugged child pornography into the computer? I don't know what was on that USB stick. Well, what else would crash a helicopter ship? Child pornography! I cannot claim definitively that AlphaCorp is in the possession of child pornography, but there was a USB stick.

Well, they're cops, so it's fine. The FBI has tons of child pornography. I love the FBI, by the way. Do you? Just as an apropos. I love cops. Maybe not as much as Chuck Dixon loved cops, but I do love cops.

And the FBI are like super cops. Yeah, the Alpha Corps, it's a very pro-cop book. You, of course, are a super cop. Here's how I rank women, black women, and cops. That's the most respect that I have for this. Wow. You really have a respect. Wow, that is great.

Thank you. Well, Ricky, it's good. I mean, you as a police officer, as a super-powered police officer. Do you mean, I've been trying to people out to drink. I just, I've never actually? I've never actually thought that. You're going to have to talk. I do want to drink a beer, but I'm wondering before I ever drink a beer, are retarded people allowed to drink?

Well, Ricky, you're not in Floor Spark anymore. I think that if you have one drink, it'll probably be okay. You cut back to two weeks ago. I'll have a drink. And maybe I'll be here when you get that. Well, it's so great that we have. This is the only official Ricky Retardo helmet. No one else has this.

This official Ricky Retardo helmet. There's all kinds of stuff happening on the screen, too. Identifying, identifying weight. Hey, hey, hey, turn off the weight sensor. Stop it. I can't turn it off. We don't do that on this show. I'm letting people pay.

Well, I gotta go try to get all the child pornography out of our telegraph carrier. All right, Ricky. Come on. Ricky Ritardo, everybody. Let's give him a hand. Thanks for coming by. Dick, you missed Ricky just here. Oh, shit.

It goes down and up. I was going to ask. You mean that fucking idiot in the comic can make it go up at any time? Yeah. Well, he's got a. He doesn't like bright. No. Only when it's funny.

Dick, Ricky does not like bright lights. Okay. Oh, God. He has to be in dim environments. And loud noises startle him easily. That's why he always brings his trusty train set to the crime scene

in case he needs something to refocus his detective energies. Okay. Have I played the theme song yet? Yeah, we did the theme song. Ricky, you went to a whole different fucking land. Well, welcome back. Ignoring driving signals.

Hey, I won. Wow, what a nice guy who sent that to us. All-star raps. All-star raps, guys. He'll rap your car on anything, the dirtier the better. Dylan. I wanted to see, does he have a website? The grosser the...

All-star-raps.com. You want to rap your truck in missing kids posters from Israel, like hostage posters? He'll do it. It's not a bad idea. Or you want to wrap your truck in somebody ripping down one of those posters? He'll do it. Dirty stuff. Dirty stuff.

We've got to make the biggest problem-o-bile, like in my treatment. That was another thing we took out of that. Your white van? My white van. Funny. That's funny. That is funny thing we took out of it. Your white van? My white van. Funny. That's funny. That is funny. Leave it at that, though.

Well, it has to be a white van with our logo on it. You see? You see how you ruin it? The Ghostbusters has the Ghostbusters logo on their thing. The joke is that it's a hearse. Ours is that it's a fucking child predator van with no logos. That's the joke. If you put a logo on the white van, it's no longer a predator van with no logos. That's the joke. If you put a logo on the white van, it's no longer a white van.

It's just a van. You can put a logo on the white van, and it's still funny. Again, it's part of the show. I squeeze my pet, and I massage it. All right. I've killed the sale. All right. Ignoring driving signals, number one.

Callahan auto parts. That's what I was looking for. Great movie. Home repair. Derivative dummies. Sorry, it was supposed to be doopuses. I messed that up. You did mess it up.

That's why it got driven down in the votes. So I... And last place. Oh, yeah. Fast food grease. Face grease. Fast food face... Come on. You didn't even do the problem. Face grease. Fast food face. Come on.

You didn't even do the problem. Who cared at that point? That was over. That episode sucked. That episode. All right, look. There were some comments that said that episode was great until Dick started saying this episode sucked.

They're gaslighting you. No, they love me. They're like, Vito was giving it all and his problems were great. I'm not saying that. I'm not blaming it on you. I'm just saying the problems weren't good. And you could tell. I think the problems were great. I'm not blaming it on you. I'm just saying the problems weren't good. And you could tell. I think the problems were good.

I think it was great. It was a great show. Great episode. Well, the Super Chats were lousy. Everyone listening, I mean, come on. Yeah. It's the little button down there that has a dollar sign on it. Click that.

Don't be shy of that button. That's what keeps the show rolling. If you're in another country, that means money. Maybe you've been confused. I'm going to buy the rest of the Alpha Corps Ensemble because I think I've got a bit of a Brian Solari in me. Is that the Proud Boy Superman? That's the next Proud Boy Superman.

I'm going to be him for Halloween. That's like to be a cop in Thulcraft. And what's Ricky Ritardo's real name? Tony Braxton Tony Braxton I heard Tony Braxton Alright This is

Corgan says If kids keep circling Pokemon body parts on Twitter Vito might have a heart attack That's what they've been doing. This Power World thing is bigger than you know, Dick. Well, that's part of what pissed me off after the show. I went and looked it up. Did I explain it good enough?

Yeah, because you're talking about like a tweet. Okay. It's like this is the biggest selling game of all time. Yeah. And it's so obviously ripped off. Yeah. Of Pokemon. Which is cool. Which is cool. Yeah.

I'm playing it right now and I'm like, oh hey, that's Eevee. Although some of them like... Can you fuck them? Not all of them. Don't be gross. You can't fuck any of them, but you can butcher them. How is that better? I haven't done that yet. I don't know, but you can just kill them. You can butcher a Gardevoir?

Yeah, you can just cut it up for meat. Yeah, I don't want to do it. I haven't know, but you can just kill them. You can butcher a Gardevoir? Yeah, you can just cut it up for meat. Yeah, I don't want to do it. I haven't done it yet. I don't want to see what the animation is. It's supposed to be more like, what if Pokemon were animals? It's like you'd kill and eat someone. Well, then they would just be animals. Yeah.

That's the whole point. Yeah, but these ones can fly, and they have magic powers, and I can make them work my farm. I've got them smelting ore right now. You got a lot yeah a lot of man keys that year got a lot of sheep sheep the sheep spoke on I got a people this little grass one that cuts cuts wood oddish up eat that motherfucker you guys want I stream myself playing the first two hours of the game you can find that a youtube.com slash Vito and I will probably stream more the game cuz it because it's got a good... It's one of those games where as you're playing it, you go...

This is almost a problem I brought in. But just like when you know that you're being preyed upon, but you're just like, yeah, but what else are you going to do? What? Well, like the gameplay loop is just so obvious where it's like, oh, well, now you've unlocked the ability to cut down more trees. And now because you can cut, it's like cookie clicker. You ever play cookie clicker? No. Cookie clicker is a game where you click on a cookie and every time you click the cookie,

you get one cookie. And then when you have 10 cookies, you can open a cookie store and that makes five cookies a second. So then you start clicking and it's like, now you can open a cookie factory. And then you keep clicking. It's like, well, now you have a cookie galaxy. And the game just takes it to the bitter end where eventually you're spawning

like dark eldritch cookie beasts that can generate cookies. Yeah, like generate cookies out of blood from sucking dry the grandma production line. It's just like you are now making- It doesn't make it cool the way you say it. No, but I'm just saying, it's genuinely addicting where you're like,

shit, I gotta get like 200 trillion more cookies so I can unlock another one of those alien fuckers. You play this at work? It's like one of these things you just leave it running in a browser because it will just generate cookies infinitely. Is it like a Bitcoin miner? Is it like malware or something? No, it's just like this stupid thing this guy made to be like, hey, aren't modern games retarded? And then you went, yeah. And then everyone plays it.

I can't believe I'm doing this. Yeah, exactly. And that's what Pal, yeah. This is stupid. I can't believe I'm doing this. Yeah, exactly. And that's what Pal World is. It's the same shit. But it's a total ripoff. They're totally going to get sued. I think there's a very good chance they're going to get sued.

There's some stuff they're doing where I'm like, well. Like the models are just copied, right? The models aren't directly. I don't know. That's like kind of up in the air. Some people are saying they ripped models out of the game and just changed the colors. Yeah. I don't know.

That would be easier to prove if that was true. Really? Yeah. But like think of the 12 dumbest people you can imagine. You got to explain it to them. It's possible some like rogue programmer did that to save some time or whatever. Some rogue modeler. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like YouTube had no idea they were hosting pirated content when Google bought them, right? Sure. Exactly. Like, YouTube had no idea they were hosting pirated content when Google bought them, right? Sure, exactly. There are some of the pals, as they're called, that are a bit on the edge. You know what's funny is, I don't think, if they had even called it something else, so it wasn't so obviously Pokemon, it wouldn't be a success. Like, they have called it, like, uh... The Adventure of... The Adventure of, like... Fantasia Island 9000?

Yeah, Fantasia Island. Power World is not Pokemon. That's two different things. But it's so blatantly uncreative that it's like, oh, it's Pokemon, right? Yeah. It leaves this giant hole in your mind to fill in the Pokemon part. The monsters that you could be like, that's the head of that Pokemon, that's where you're going to get in trouble. The one that looks like Eevee is a big problem.

I'm like, that's just Eevee. But the other ones, though, it's like, yeah, you can't own like a, you know, yeah, Pokemon has a little penguin creature, but other things have penguin creatures and they don't look the fucking same. Like that little thing that goes like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, and then the penguins go, shh. Well, there's like, you know. Josie's penguin toy, right? There's too many parts when I'm playing the game and I, like, catch a thing and I go, oh, that's Psyduck.

I go, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Those guys are going to jail. Those devs are going to jail. Or maybe not. Like, I don't actually know. Maybe they're covered, though.

Like, because, like, what is protected traits of those? You have to. I love when people who are not lawyers talk about... No, I know. Look, I'm going to say what I understand of copyright law. There's going to be a lawsuit. But they're not going to lose it. If anything, it would be a thing.

I think they should just change some of the designs. That's it. It's a little late to change the designs because you already made the $70 million. Give us some of that $70 million. Maybe we can Pokemon a little something. Okay, we got Mikkel. Or just make a licensing agreement. Why not?

Why not? Because they got guns. They're butchering Gardevoir for meat. They're not going to put Pokemon in there. It's not fucking happening. Mikkel shit says, huge win for Vito at the end of the episode. I thought he was going to be 320 pounds at least or worse. Guys, I know worse. Won't gain weight that fucking quick. Jesus Christ.

I bet you could. We should go the other way. If you gain 100 pounds. If you ask me to gain weight, I could gain 100 pounds in a month. I guarantee it. Oh. We're not doing that. Now that's. How much would it cost you to gain 100 pounds? The only way we're doing that is if at the end of it you guys

pay for my gastric bypass to take it all back off. Of course we would do that. No problem. That would be sick. We'll get it sponsored by Dr. No. I'm pretty sure Dr. No would be like, no, I'm not letting you let this fan gain 100 pounds. He doesn't care. He gets off on, all those people die that go in there to get gastric bypass.

They don't all die. Pretty much most of them die. He loves it. He's like Dr. Menengala or Mengala, whatever that guy's name was. Yeah. Is he still doing episodes of that show? Dr. Scholl is who you're talking about.

He's going to be doing that until he's in the ground. Yeah. Insulting fat people. He'll be in hospice. He found his calling in life. Bring that fucking fat nurse in here. Oh, that one.

Yeah. Which one, Doc? You know. You know the one. The one I can yell at. That's stupid. All right. Hedgepig says, some people who are worried about their health get standing desks, but not Vito.

He gets a laying desk to stream on. It's still good for your health. Excuse me? To be in a relaxed position. It's good for your back. How? Muscle atrophy is good for your back? No, but sitting in an office chair fucks up your back if you have bad posture.

Well, they get a standing desk. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Well, you get a laying down. I got a laying down desk, yeah. Although I'm sad because my monitor won't tilt all the way back, so I can't, you know. So you're straining your body. No, I have to, like, I have, like, a pillow, you know, like one of those. What a stupid question.

Although now with remote desktop, I'm like, oh, oh shit I can do work in bed Alright How would you even know where the work began Exactly Laying in your own crapulence Mostly I've just been using it to watch pornography Slickford says Home repair should be at the top of the list

Voted all the way up People don't agree with you Slickford People don't own homes Warp says the top of the list voted all the way up well i people don't agree with you slickford i'm going on homes um warp says we should start a betting pool on which isom issue will be the final one before eric loses all his money i'm betting issue number five of isom it's one of these things where like if he just stops spending the money he could do this forever yeah but he can't yeah why because he's insane show off well also i'm hiring look i understand eric july's mindset his mindset is go big or go home the only way i get i'm not going to get the tv show and the animated series in the

movie and if i slow roll it and build up a character organically. What it is. I have to catch people off guard with a blast of success so hot and heavy that the Daily Wire can't help but invest their lady ballers money right back into it. It's BBC marketing. Which was a good plan until he fucked with us and screwed it all up. Yeah. He could have like, man, I don't know. We'll see.

He could have fucked with me forever. I think fucking with Nick Riccata and Ethan VanSkyver was a bad move. Threatening Ethan VanSkyver that if Ethan VanSkyver doesn't, like, disavow me, which I don't even know what that means, or else Eric's going to, like to let people talk trash about him. Here's what people don't understand. Don't threaten someone from New Jersey like that. Here's what people don't understand about this situation.

So the situation was Ethan VanSkyver, who is a smart guy, read ISOM, and he went, well, this kind of sucks. He knew it wasn't good, but he also knew he wasn't really in a position to say it sucks because it's not his role. What's the point? Why say anything sucks? It doesn't help you, right? Right. Well, he's just another comic. It's Hollywood.

Like, hey, I read it. Good job. I have no problem with people doing that. I've already said it's totally fine for Eric's friends to go, well, we just support him. We want him to succeed. Just don't go out and lie and say oh also it's the greatest comic ever made okay well now you're fucking around just say you like him and you want him to succeed okay so then when you reviewed it and brought up all the shit that ethan saw he's like yeah i saw that yeah i know that's a problem yeah and then he's like well i hope i hope ethan hears some he's like i hope uh

what do you call it i hope eric hears some of this and listens to it. And Eric goes, everything he said was wrong and my comic is perfect. And it's all about marketing. That was the moment I think Ethan VanSkyver went, okay, well, I got to say something. Yeah, and he basically, all he said was he's like, well, Eric, you know, I know that Dick's, you know, has said mean things. He's been rude or whatever else, but that was before I even started. I didn't have a retarded helmet that I was wearing.

Way before time. I wasn't playing the shaft theme song over your sound, over your clips, right? That's what Eric doesn't understand is Ethan was genuinely trying to help by being like, hey, some of that shit Dick said, like, actually pay

attention to it and it will make your next comic better. And all Eric heard was, why are you giving my enemies ammunition? You need to get in line, blah, blah, blah. That was the scenario. Get back on the plantation, Ethan Van Scaffel! Whoop-ah! You get back on

the river's plantations, huh? Over here with Chuck Dixon. He was genuinely trying to help him by being like. Get over here. It was a little bit of tough love of being like. And Yellow Flash is like, that's right, Mr. Candy. That's right, Mr. Ripper's. Oh, yeah.

The Ripper's is the biggest plantation in comics. I'm Yellow Flash. I don't pay my orders nothing. I don't pay my. Right, Mr. Ripper's? Yeah, that's how we do it at the R you want. I don't pay my... Right, Mr. Ripperfuss? Yeah, that's how we do it at the Ripperfuss. We don't pay odds for nothing. Working for us is a privilege.

He's yelling at his artist. Working for us is a privilege. I don't know if we need a plantation metaphor to get this across. It's just a metaphor. It's just a metaphor. It's any kind of metaphor. It's a common metaphor that people use. Yeah, all the time.

It's not a big deal. Every day, people are going, you know, like on the plantation. They say, get back on the plantation, Ethan Van Scalpa. Whoop-sha. Get back on the hill. The point is that Ethan was genuinely just trying to wake Eric up and be like, bro, you got to listen to some of these critics because, you know, I don't want to be the one to give you the tough love, but you got some problems here.

Eric saw it as a betrayal, and that's how we ended up where we are. I was going to say, I was going to do this. Same with Nick Riccato, where Nick Riccato was trying to give him legitimate legal advice, like shut the fuck up. And he's like,

why do you hate me? Why do you want my employees to die at the hands of Riley? No, but listen. He's like, that's not what it is, man. I just think you need to like stop reacting. Eric said that I want him, Eric said that I want him

bankrupt and dead. Yeah. Or dead and bankrupt. Yeah, he says these people want me dead. I don't know what dead. Yeah. Or dead and bankrupt. Yeah, he says these people want me dead. I don't know what that says. And bankrupt. But he's got it backwards.

Right, he's got to go bankrupt first. I want him bankrupt and dead. There you go. I was going to say, I was going to be Eric and call Ethan VanSkyver an inker,

but in that accent, like as a slur. But then I realized right before I did it that that's too close. It's not going to play on you, too. And it would be funny, but it's too close. He's just an inker.

You know good Latin, you know? I know. We got it. All right. Somebody can dub it in later. No, no, no, no, no, no. But get it? I got it.

I got there. That's actually a pretty good joke. Yeah, I guess it's funny that both Ethan and Nick Ricchetto were trying to help this man, and his reaction is to go scorched earth and disavow them and call them bust-a-ass honkies. See, again, we're back to the original problem. He could say the N-word all day, and I can't even say inker in a funny, silly way.

Yeah, well, that's one of those things you just got to. Dick Waggles says, glad to hear Vito is building his new five minutes. He's done his current five minutes at the last three live shows. Is that true? I did two live shows. That Truman Show joke every time you tell it. I did the Truman Show joke because there was a callback to the show where you ripped on my Truman Show bit.

Okay. Not everybody watched the live, but whatever. I got some good jokes. I ran it by Josh Denny. You know what he said? He said, you got a good premise. And I went, well, that joke must suck then. Same thing, yeah.

Everybody. I said, what do you think of this joke? He goes, it's got a solid premise. And I went, fucking shit. Ripped joke. Yeah, RIP joke. I went, all right, that's the comedian way way of saying send it back to the fucking slaughterhouse. Dick, I got a fun segment I love.

Back to the slaughterhouse. Yeah, wherever. You took it off the farm. Slaughter it again? I've been playing Power World. We're going to kill all these. Back to the minors. Back to the minors.

That's a good one. Going to try it out. Whatever. I got a segment I call Vote It Up. Yeah. All right. How is this four minutes long? Antagonist sent it in.

Are you sure this is a Vote It Up? No, this is Biggest Problem in the Universe song. This is probably like an opening theme. You think this is an opening theme? Oh, wait. Maybe not. Did he do a four minute? What's that song? Discovery Channel. I want to fuck you like a...

I want to fuck you like a Pokemon. He did a four minute version. Okay, it's not voted up. It's not voted up. Well, save it for later. Whatever, it's voted up. This is a segment where we revisit problems past and future. Put them in a new light, Dick.

You're not still searching for a song, are you? No, I quit. Good. Dick, do you remember the problem of Epstein Blue Balls from episode 47? That naming needs some work. No, that name is perfect. Do you remember the problem of Epstein Blue Balls from episode 47? That naming, that name needs some work. No, that name is perfect. Did he ever fuck kids or did he just like blackmail people?

No, he fucked kids. Really? Do we know? Yeah. Well, I mean, nobody, I don't think, yeah. No one's asking the obvious question. They're so worried about how many kids Bill Clinton fucked. I've heard the girls say they had to fuck the prince, so I assume they also had to fuck Epstein.

But why? What if he's not a pedophile? What if he's just the greatest Mossad agent in history? Well, it would have been a good get. Look. Just kidding. The point of Epstein Blue Balls is the problem that of all the Epstein hubbub, nothing comes of it. And we have more than proven that now as it's been two weeks since newly published legal documents linked to the pedophile Jeffrey Epstein named more than 100 associates of the disgraced financier.

Well, there you go. And it came out and doesn it doesn't matter, and nothing changes. Oh, man. The disclosure of this first batch of court files includes the name of victims, friends, and associates of the sex offender and his cohort, Guy Slane Maxwell, this financier who socialized with royalty and celebrities. That's a bottom bitch, right? That's the one you got to get.

She's massaging his feet and stuff. Then you look at Mark Zuckerberg and his wife looks like she got hit by a truck. Right? Is Zuckerberg's life just like a normal-looking Asian lady? I mean, I don't know what you're saying. I don't know. Yeah, but the problem is

if you get a hot wife, she has a lot of self-esteem and then she just takes your billions of dollars. Wasn't Jeff Bezos' wife kind of good-looking? No. Lauren Metcalf, the new one, is hot. Okay. Now he's going to Burning Man and stuff. I don't know.

Trump's stuck with what's-her-name, Melania. Super hot. She's like 60 years old. She's fucking hot as shit. They're not fucking anymore. She doesn't even talk to him. What the fuck are you talking about? He doesn't even jack off! Why do you guys have this weird fantasy that they're not, like, having sex?

Cause she- like, anytime they're at, like, on a stage or something, he'll, like, put his hand around her and she goes, No. And, like, knocks it away or some shit. Are you fucking serious? I don't think they're fucking. You are like Bon- you're like- you're like Dom Luger, but for liberals. What is she, Russian? What do you want her to do?

Blow him? That would be awesome. Inauguration stand? I don't know, man. I want her to smile and give him a kiss on the cheek or something. No, no, no. That's very inappropriate. That would be very inappropriate.

Point is, Dick, I have the list, or a small portion of the list of names which have come out. Boogie, number one. Boogie. Wings of Redemption. Of course. And then Wings of Redemption again. Wings of Redemption as well. Did you see Ralph said maybe Wings of Redemption likes aliens so much because he thinks the age of consent is 12 in outer space.

I did hear him say that. I think the age of consent is 12 in outer space. I did hear him say that. Look, I cannot confirm or deny. Like Neo, but fat Neo. Wop, wop. You know that scene? Prop, prop. Like he was doing them both.

Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Right? Sure. It's just like The Matrix, but with pedophiles. On that list, of course, of names that came out. Not Ralph, no, never. Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump. Oh, fuck off.

Can I read the list? Hillary Clinton, David Copperfield. That's kind of fun. Does a little bit of magic on the plane. Alan Dershowitz. Here's one you might not have known. Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, fuck off!

What? Al Gore? This is like a pedophile list? Well, you don't know. It's just they may have gone to the island. Some people may have went just to discuss business deals. Where's all the child porn from his apartment that the FBI took? Well, that is the Epstein Blue Balls. Is that all we have is names

like Kevin Spacey. That one I agree with. That one you're okay with? What about Michael Jackson? No, he was innocent. He's always innocent. Stephen Hawking. And then perhaps the most horrible name, the one you

would never want to see from a galaxy far, far away. Audrey Plaza. Did she get enough attention this week? George Lucas was apparently one of Epstein's cohorts. But they're just flying around in his jet? He might have just wanted funding for Red Wings or something. Great movie. You put some kids in it?

Put some kids in there. I mean, I get, like, Epstein did some financing, too, though, right? He actually had to do some actual... He was a legit business guy. It wasn't all child sex on the child sex island. Yeah. I assume occasionally they would break and, I don't know, talk about... They got to take a break and drink some Gatorade

every once in a while. David George Lucas just come out of the room, shirtless, high five, chugging Gatorade. You got a little boy dressed like Yoda. Girl comes out a 14 year old girl comes out an r2 detail helmet he's like beep boop get the fuck back in there yes okay sorry we're droid playing 14 well that's how old they were that's how old they were. That's not a pedophile. That's how old they were, typically. I'm just kidding. Yeah, he's an hebephile, right?

I don't know what that is. On the topic of Donald Trump, here's a problem you brought in. I can't believe you thought that whole Melania Trump and Donald Trump are not having sex hoax that the media always plugs. I don't know, man. Why is he paying Stormy Daniels for sex? To fuck a hot porn star. Yeah, but he can just fuck the one he already has. Isn't he a man of God, according to you people? No, we don't give a shit about that.

Some of you do. We don't. None of them do either. They're all jacking off to Stormy Daniels, too. Well, as long as we're talking about Donald Trump and the problem of kangaroo courts, We're talking about Donald Trump and the problem of kangaroo courts. A jury has just said that Donald Trump must pay $83.3 million in damages, an eye-popping sum that marks the sharpest legal setback for the former president, who is now entangled in multiple criminal and civil cases.

This, of course, was awarded to E. Jean Carroll in regards to Trump's defamatory statements disparaging her and denying her rape allegations and denying her truth. Do you support this? Well, I mean, you can't disparage a woman after you rape her, Dick. That's just... What's the rape for then? You telling me I go through all that work to rape this chick? I can't fucking...

You can't talk shit about her afterwards? No. I can't even deny it? The rules of rape is that it's a gentleman's rape. You should be very gentlemanly. So you do support it? You support this verdict? The rape?

No. Obviously there was no rape. Have you listened to her talk? It's like she's drinking Xanax and took a pill of wine. Well, I'm going to reserve judgment on exactly what- Are you fucking serious? You're so- You have so much liberal brain rot that you can't even see this one?

It's like just total nonsense? I didn't research the case much. I just brought in the summary of the judgment. It's for you to decide. What? I gotta have an opinion on every single thing that happens to Trump? What is your opinion? My opinion is I would have to listen to her testimony.

What is your opinion? Like, what do you think happened? I think that I do think these judgments are sometimes insane. I don't think. What do you think happened between them, between Trump and this lady? I don't know. Oh, you fucking liar. Now you're couching your bets because you know people are going to make fun of you.

I don't think it was like, you know, it's not like one of these knock you in the head with a baseball bat rapes. What do you think happened? It's probably one of those, you know, she's probably accusing him of one of those uncomfortable Weinstein situations. Which is what? How guilty do you think he is on a scale of, let's say, me to... Well, I'm not going to be so mean as to compare him to you. Say me too. Well, I'm not going to be so mean as to compare him to you. Put him on that scale.

How guilty do you think he is? As a percent? One out of 100. I'd say there's a- Zero is no guilt and 100 is guilty. 35% chance of guilt. Amazing. Okay. Okay.

I can't wait for next week. What does that mean? What do you mean next week? Because you already think this. That's a tremendous amount of guilt. I think that it's possible. Because you trust the system to have come to this verdict.

Stuff happened with Weinstein and Cosby. After Cosby, aren't all bets out the window? I just want to say, you know absolutely nothing about this case, but your instinct is, he's probably 33%. He's probably a third guilty.

But that's post-judgment. That's post a jury went through the evidence and heard the testimony. Yeah. Okay, so it went to court. Yeah. And I'm hoping that the legal... Whatever. You're right. He's 100% innocent. Well, I'm just saying that's your instinct is like a third. You asked me. I said

based on... You brought it in. I brought it in because I knew that the legal amount would be interesting to discuss. And clearly you know more about the case than I do. So why don't you educate me? I don't know. I just know women. What happened? Nothing.

Okay. Never even met her. That's what he's getting sued for. I never even met this bitch. She's insane. That's defamation. He did say she was insane. And that was what.

Look, I'll say this. I think the damages seem excessive. I don't think... They should have said you got to either fuck her like she said you did or you could pay her the 80 million. And then he would say, well, I'm going to give her the 80 million, obviously. All right. You're sick.

Something wrong with you. She's making... She's just a lunatic. She's just fucking total crazy kids. I don't know that. Okay? I don't know. You got to be up on these things, Vito.

You're laying down playing Pokemon. I was preparing for the show. I have all this shit going on. I don't have time to know got to be up on these things, Vito. You're laying down playing Pokemon. I was preparing for the show. I have other shit going on. I don't have time to know everything that's going on with Trump. I brought in a relevant news article. I don't know why I have to have an immediate opinion on it. Because you do have one. My immediate opinion is I'm open to the possibility that

Trump has raped somebody. Wrong. That's wrong. It's literally impossible. He would never do it to anyone. Never. He would have never done that. Never. Well, you know him better than I do. You've met the man in person. Yeah. And he looked you right in your eyes. How could he rape anyone? He's got billions of dollars.

Yeah. Alright. What else? This has been What Voted Up. That's the segment, Dick. We got it. Alright. So I was the winner. We'll play this at the end of the show. It's like a whole song. Okay.

Yeah, you're the winner. I'm the winner. Dick, what did you see on Twitter this week? That comes later. That comes later. Dick, I have a phrase, a phrase you may have heard,

and a phrase that I think will summarize this problem very quickly. Dick, I'm sending you a phone call. Pick up the phone. Hi. We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. Thanks for indulging me. Dick, my problem is robocalls. Yeah, credit here.

I've got millions of these calls. Oh, dude, I get like eight of them a day now. Is this like a new thing that they got so aggressive? I don't know, and that do not call registry thing. Doesn't do anything. It's not, that doesn't even exist. That's just more liberal bullshit. Yesterday I got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

robocalls. Yeah. I've started recording myself talking to these people. Over and over. We got, because someone is eligible for some kind of a household assistance every fucking day. I keep getting ones for either Medi-Cal, Medicaid, or you were in a car accident and you're owed money, or we want to help you with your funeral expenses.

At this time, Americans, according to Robo Killer Insights, Americans receive 5 billion robocalls a month, which breaks down to about 18 spam calls per person. Okay. Right now, the FCC is going after one company that says that just one of these scammers can send 8 billion robocall messages a year. Wait, one? Yeah. One spammer can send eight billion They can call everyone on earth?

Pretty much, yeah Wow, no wonder it's such a big problem Since 2018, two billion a year Two billion messages a year Two billion From one auto warranty scam operation Oh, an operation, okay Still though, one operation can send two billion phone calls a year?

It's like crime. It's like theft. Like, all we have to do is kill a thousand people, and this will stop. Like, there's a thousand people perpetrating this. Well, we just have to nuke India, and then we'll be pretty much good to go. Well, yeah. There's a lot of good people in India. Do you watch those videos of the guys who hack into Indian call centers or whatever else,

and they fuck with them and whatever? Oh, they do? Yeah, yeah. And you're like, all right, this is kind of funny, but now just send them a bomb, because I want them all to die. I saw one where a guy ran in. Oh, what were you going to say? I was going to say they hack their cameras, and they find out their names.

They go, is your name Dinesh? And he goes, oh. And I'm like, all right. I'm like, that's pretty good, but now send a guy with a gun to just shoot all of them in the head. That, I think, would be a good prank, too. I saw one where a guy ran in and he got that gun from Israel that shoots poop all over everybody. Is that a thing? Yeah, that's a thing that Israel has that shoots poop all over everyone. Okay.

And then he's like, how do you like that? And they said, how do we like what? All right. I saw that on World Star Hip Hop. Yeah, I'm sure. I get it. Wings of Redemption sent it to me. And then he said, do you want to see any child porn?

Do you want to see any cool other videos I have? I said, okay, what about non-child porn? I said, not now, not after you said that. All right. Well, the problem with these robocalls, Dick, is that first of all, most of these call centers are overseas. So, unfortunately, local law enforcement is limited

by jurisdiction. They wouldn't do shit anyway. Well, they don't do shit about swatting. They don't do shit about bikes getting stolen. Well, they should do more. They don't do shit. Yeah. It you don't do shit about bikes getting stolen well they should do not do shit yeah fucking voting but if they could shut down a call center if it was in america they'd do that pretty quick they'd love that send him in like the dog catching things yeah get out of y'all all right whatever get out of y'all uh but apparently the biggest problem is that it's hard to tell a good robocall from a bad because there aren't legitimate robocalls. You ever get those calls like, hey, you have an upcoming appointment with your doctor.

Your prescription's been refilled. Come pick it up at the CVS. No, I don't want those either. I block them all. And that doesn't even work. You can block the ones from your doctor. Don't block the ones from your doctor. Why?

They're just calling me and telling me not to drink because I made the mistake of telling them. I made the mistake of being honest about how much I drink and all the drugs I do. So now they're like, you got to get in here. Now a robot calls you every day and goes, please stop drinking. What did we say about you lowering it to twice a week? I'm like, what the fuck? Unfortunately, these scammers are abusing the caller ID system. They're able to disguise where they're from.

And there's really no ongoing attempt to stop them, except for like the biggest operations. It kind of seems like the FCC, who's in charge, of course, regulating our phone conversations. They're too busy wiretapping good, red-hearted Americans. Yeah, that's true. As opposed to stopping Dinesh and his goons from calling me up. They can't stop it, though. Like, the phone network doesn't, it's just a trust system. Like, if you say you're whatever, it'll say whatever.

I don't think it's a, it doesn't work like everything else we have. I just wish I could inform the scammers of, like, some basic things, you know? Like, don't call me at 7 a.m. Because it's fine if you call me in the middle of the day because then I can fuck with an Indian guy, which I do regularly. I got to come up with some better things to say with them. I just yell about curry and fucking their mothers. I actually got into a long conversation with one though.

Yeah? Yeah, because first I said, I'm going to fuck your mother. And he's like, well, I'm going to fuck your mother. I'm like, what are you doing, man? Why are you scamming people he's like listen man it's hard getting work out here yeah and then we had like a conversation you're laying in bed playing Pokemon I wish I had

recorded this I felt well yeah of course that's the thing is that now I feel bad because this guy is like well this is the only job I can get and fucking what else am I gonna do self yeah dirt in the streets of Bangladesh you know as hamburgers I started telling him I'm like listen you're smart and everybody in that call center, you should be running this fucking operation.

Yeah. And he agreed with me. So there is a human on the other end of the line. Why don't we just block all calls from India? We send a scuba team down to cut their, or just like put like a tariff on every call from India is costing. 10 cents, 20 cents. A rupee. One rupee. One rupee. Cut there or just like put like a tariff on every call from India is costing ten cents twenty cents fraction of rupee one one rupee

two billion calls overnight right or We just go in there. How about we just get rid of the laws and we just Go in there and just I don't think you're gonna like that. It's not good Yeah, what's going on with India, man? The next world superpower. They're great. You see the video I posted of Indian people stealing concrete? Why were they doing that? There's, like, these really poor rural villages.

Yeah. And India's like, well, you know, because we don't want you guys to be, you know, backwater morons with no access to resources, what we're going to do is we're going to pave the roads to enable, you know, travel to your village. Yeah, right. Clean water and stuff. And all the villagers started digging up the concrete road. So they could sell it.

So they could sell it. Because for some reason they thought poured concrete was valuable. Or like it was still wet and they thought they could like, you know, make their hut a little more reinforced. Yeah. This is like. And you reinforced this is like bro just let them make you a how how much do you want to live in eternal poverty that you're like let's fuck up this road they gave us for free they do want to live in it's like i don't i don't want to live in a world with like locked doors and stuff but i have to because of other people. So every time, like, we do any of this outreach shit or give money anywhere else, it's like, you know, they don't want to live like that.

Right. But there's enough people there that are ripping their roads off the ground. They love to have roads. Did you ever get the feeling like Gandhi was wrong? I never got the feeling that he was right. What are you talking about? Why would he? We got to get all these Europeans out of here so we have control of India's destiny.

And I'm like, I don't know, man. Like, the Europeans got some good stuff. You might want to just let them stick it. Like, maybe be like, hey, guys, ease up, ease up. But, like, don't kick them all out. I think you want to be a British colony. It seems like you get running water

and hygiene. A lot of cool European stuff you could have had. And this one hippie comes along. Didn't Gandhi rape a bunch of people or something? He had like five wives. Well, apparently not Donald Trump.

Not Donald Trump, no. Everybody else is raping. He doesn't even jack off. Why would he be raping? I don't know. You're right. Yeah, come on. How do you make, well, he made, you know.

All I'm saying is. I think it's the way they come in and just give, like, they find whoever can kiss the most ass, and then they're, like, the fascist dictator. That's the problem. In India? Anywhere that white people go. Right. Yeah. I'm just saying India? Anywhere that white people go. Right. Yeah.

I'm just saying, like, if white people are running... Except for South America, maybe. I don't know. I didn't think about that one. It's the old thing where it's like, you know, I can't believe, you know, you made all these Africans suffer in America. And it's like, well, do you want to go back to Africa? No.

Oh, God, no. Not at all. Why do you think you could... What makes you think that you could say something like that? The phrase, back to Africa. Well, not back, but to Africa. You can go to Africa. Marty, we're going forward.

Forward to Africa. I don't know about that, Doc. Oh, jeez. I'm just saying Clearly we left that country Kick a jig a wads Right How come there's never been A black version of

Back to the Black to the future Why has there never been that I'm sure there is a Black to the future But there should be A theatrical life You gotta fuck your mom

And his mom And his mom Well he gets on stage at the show and then... The Apollo. Yeah. He's gotta kill it. He just does Chappelle's, like, he just does Richard Pryor's whole, like, you know, whatever that was. Why do people drive their car like this?

It's your cousin, Marvin Pryor. You know that new... You know that new stand-up routine you've been looking for? Listen to this. Marvin Pryor, you know that new stand-up routine you've been looking for? Listen to this. Why there's so much crime on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard? No, it's crickets because of the 70s. He goes, your kids are going to love that joke.

That joke might not be for this time period. Martin Luther King Boulevard? Martin Luther King Boulevard? Martin Luther King Boulevard? What the hell? What does that mean? You mean Washington Boulevard? Your kids are going to love that joke. All right, so what's your RoboCall? My problem was RoboCallers, but I guess it became Indians.

Oh, God. You got to support Pakistan, I guess. I don't know how else to stop. You can't stop them. I don't know how else to stop. You can't stop them. I don't know. I saw Slumdog Millionaire, and I was all excited. I'm like, maybe it'll inspire them all to embrace the... Hey, Bollywood's killing it, though, right?

They got cool movies. Who gives a fuck? I don't know. RRR was stupid. Did you watch that movie? No, I still haven't seen it. I've heard. It's like five hours long.

Is it? It makes no sense. Ay, ay, ay. I would love to watch that movie with a Jewish guy. Not the accountant. The storytelling one. What do you think of storytelling Jews? Why don't you react to some of this? I bet Ben Shapiro loved it.

Yeah, probably. Lady Ballers was it was the story, the narrative was terrible, was contrived and somehow behind the audience at all times. It was incomplete. It was horribly acted and every, it was horribly lit, directed, and edited. The editing was the most offensive part of a movie that might have,

that was a failure at every single level. Yeah, I don't know. It was terrible. I hope Hamas wins. After seeing the movie movie it was so bad it was so bad yeah that it makes it impossible to it makes me hate America it was so bad that something like

this could happen under capitalism the editing was not as tight as it should have been I wonder if they I don't know what the run time was but that movie felt like it felt like it was a year and a half yeah and uh how do you fuck up a sports movie was my question as I'm like either they gotta win Why do they gotta I thought Balls of Fury was the worst movie I've ever seen

But it was Lady Ballers Lady Ballers was very bad for a number of reasons It made me support trans people more I already did but I support them more I enjoyed our commentary and we'll find some way It made me support trans kids I'm sure that commentary will get to you people Not through our official channels because

we do not engage in any sort of piracy. I don't want to say that. There is no piracy. The point is that there is a commentary track somewhere. And we're not sure. Okay, was that your problem?

My problem was robocalls. My problem was Taylor Swift. Oh. Man, was Taylor Swift. Oh. Man, I look back. I wish Kanye tried to save us. I wish he would have just got one cunt punch. I think the kids are calling it a cunt punch. You know?

Okay. Remember that one? Yes. Kanye. Why would Kanye? Kanye is what they call him. Oh, because Kanye stormed the stage and interrupted her famous thing. Oh, yeah. I don't understand. Yeah, because Kanye stormed the stage and interrupted her famous thing. Oh, yeah.

I don't understand. Yeah, so this is what Taylor Swift is. I think Taylor Swift is like a devil or some kind of entity. Almost all of her fans are pedophiles. The Swifties or whatever they're called. Well, she's a grown woman now, right? No, no, no, no. Independent of her, they just like Star Trek fans.

A lot of them are pedophiles. I'm not saying that about the Star Trek community. Most Taylor Swift fans, almost all of them are pedophiles. Swifties. I thought the football thing was bad enough. Like, she's dating a football guy. Right. So now I have to hear about football.

She was, like, in the stands cheering, And there was a lot of photos of that right She's fucking him and then it's like He's planning something special for Valentine's Day Like man I don't know how you guys weaseled Your way through my news blocks But it's really Pissing me off that I gotta hear about Number one football

Which is like when I hear the word football I just imagine the white race getting Fucking themselves up the ass As themselves Let's just sit here and watch the big game Instead of being concerned about literacy If the British built a time machine Based on bad teeth

They could go back in time and introduce football To like George Washington And John Adams and stuff And this would all be the United States of Britain Because white men are just totally destroyed by football. And underage women, which is what Taylor Swift presents herself as.

But then then they gotta make AI of her and now she's like gonna sue computers to stop her AI porn from going out? I find it interesting that AI pornography's been going around for a while. I don't know why it took Taylor Swift AI pornography for anyone to notice.

Because she's like the god of women. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like she's protected. Like no other woman matters. None of them do matter. Yeah, but for some reason. For some reason when you get enough, they think that they could have a one. Say it's like, well, now you're really fucked up.

Nobody wants to see Taylor Swift porn. Nobody. Because that's why they hate it so much, because it's only funny. No one's getting sexual gratification out of it. I'm sure somebody must enjoy it. No, because all of her fans are pedophiles. Right. All of, did I say most?

I meant all of Taylor Swift fans are pedophiles. I know some listeners of this show enjoy Taylor Swift. Pedophiles. Fine. I guess they're fans of this show, so we can't say too much about them. All I know is that, well, Dick, I mean, she's talking about she wants to sue. Computers. Well, the site that enabled people to create these images,

as well as Twitter that allowed these images to disseminate across the web. And it is going to be a landmark case for AI. She'll win. What can you... She'll win because... Win against who? Against Twitter? Me.

Against computers. Well, it's one of those things where I go... Kanye should have slapped her. Like, Will Smith, if he went out there and just smacked her, he would have got a lot of shit for it. But we wouldn't be hearing about all of her shit. I think Kanye.

We have to hear about Taylor Swift fucking constantly. Oh, wow, did you see that there's a billion dollar tour? You hear about the money and there's little girls going to theaters and fucking convulsing. Who fucking cares, bro? I don't give a fuck about this. They're having the shakes in the theater. I meant to buy that Taylor Swift popcorn bucket last time we went to the movies,

and I didn't do it. That would have been the end of you. I was going to get it to flip it for like 50 bucks. All the Swifties are buying the popcorn. The pedophiles? The pedophiles want Taylor Swift's popcorn bucket. I looked up, and she's got the dumbest fans. They're pedophiles, but they're also the dumbest fans.

I feel bad that I can't name any Taylor Swift songs. I'm always like, so. New York, We're Never Getting Back Together. We are never, ever, ever getting back together. That song sucks, though. It's a great song. Don't say that. New York?

What do you mean, New York? Welcome to New York. No, that's. Everyone drives a pizza. That's Jay-Z, I thought. Didn't she do like a remix or something? Is she the one singing over it? I don't know. No, that's... Everyone drives a pizza. Bus Jay-Z, I thought. Didn't she do like a remix or something? Is she the one singing over it? I don't know.

No, that's not... Wait, is it Taylor Swift? Now we're in New York. Let's look up her top hits. I could never tell you how many. Taylor Swift. I'm telling you, she will be... She's like a conduit for all women to speak through that we have to listen to.

Well, I remember the last time I was... Because now she's having sex with football. They were trying to make me feel bad for her because her old manager owned all her old material. Yeah, it's called a contract, you dumb bitch. Yeah, well, Scooter Braun. I was going to say Scooter Libby, but that's not correct. Scooter McGavin was his name.

Yeah, Scooter. You know, Shooter McGavin was the voice of Evil Superman on Batman Beyond. I did know that, yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome. That guy just apparently goes to golf courses and people buy him shit all day long. I would love to buy that guy shit. He's never paid for a round of golf in his life.

Cardigan. You need to calm down. I love pedophiles. Tear drops on my guitar. No, that's not one of them. Look what you made me do, right? You know that one? Style.

I don't know. Bad Blood. You know that one. Style. I don't know. Bad blood. You know that one. You know we got bad blood. We're never getting back together. I knew you were trouble. What about this one? Please make animated AI pornography of me.

Anti-hero. It must be exhausting always being anti-hero. Okay, shake it off. Shake it off, off, off. Not AI pornography, though. Why do people... You can't shake that off. I don't understand.

You gotta sue computers. I've never heard those songs and been like, I gotta hear that song again. You don't have a choice. You have to hear it all day, every day. It's like the Beatles, but for our generation. You cannot fucking escape it. If you kill yourself, that'll be the last thing you hear. The ambulance driver taking you to the dog hospital, where they're gonna patch you up because you can't afford your medicine will be playing,

You're never getting back together. Two fat Filipinas will be in the ambulance with you. I wonder why you would think popular music would just be popular overall. You think we'd all kind of agree, yes, Taylor Swift is an accomplished musical artist. They do. Yeah, but I don't. I don't know. I don't get it.

There's no part of me that wants to hear any of those songs a second time. Because music is retarded. Yeah, but there's some songs I hear and I go, hey, that's pretty good. Like what? I was gonna, I don't, I didn't know how to work this on the show, but you know how they got that new Has Been Hotel show that I'm not actually watching? Yeah. But they put out a song from

the show. Okay. I'm like, wow, shit, this is kind of good. And then I found a cover of that song that doesn't have like an effeminate gay singer singing in it. I'm like, wow, shit, this is kind of good. And then I found a cover of that song that doesn't have, like, an effeminate gay singer singing in it. I'm like, oh, this is even better. I listened to that, like, a hundred times. Who was singing it? Just some guy on YouTube. Just a guy? Yeah. Yeah. No. And I was like, yeah, this is like,

uh, but you know what? I like, like, musicals. I like, like, show tunes. Shocker. What is that? What do you mean? It's gay. You don't like musicals? I mean, I don't know. Some of them are good. Yeah.

Some of them are real good. Yeah, some of them are good. Some of them are bad. A bad musical is bad. Yeah, but a good musical stays with you. I did a bunch of mushrooms and went to see Tootsie. Oh. As a musical. Yeah, like a stage performance of Tootsie.

Yeah, yeah, a musical. The trans adventure. Well. Well, you're not allowed to do it anymore. Well, no, because the movie with Dustin Hoffman, when he pretends to be a woman, it's funny and crazy, right? Right. But when they redo it as a musical, they had to do a whole scene where the love interest,

who instead of a young, attractive woman, was maybe the fattest black woman I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. And a guy looked like Dustin Hoffman. Okay. She goes into this whole thing about how she supports trans stuff, but what he's doing is wrong still. So they had to modernize it, I guess. Anyway, that's my problem.

I have a list of stuff that Taylor Swift has done to seem like a good person because she's not. What did she do other than take my AI? She takes my AI pornography away. It's game on, man. It's game on. We're going to AI porn all of you bitches if you take this away from us. We need AI porn.

Please don't take that away. And she supports Joe Biden. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with supporting Joe Biden. It's not a problem. You might as well be Hitler himself. Yeah, the Swifty porn, huh? She does, it does seem like

her, even the people who are generating AI pornography of her, because she does have kind of a young look. They generate pornography to make her seem, she have like kind of a young look. They like generate pornography to make her seem she's like a childlike figure. Her fans. Yeah.

Her fans are creeps. She met a boy with autism and donated $10,000 for a service dog. She's a billionaire. $10,000 is like I saw a video where the prince of Sudan

was coming out of a building and a little a dad brought like the Kid up to him. Yeah, and I guess I Want a Mercedes good good good his name. I'm like, oh, hey, that's how you do it. That's charitable Yeah, all she does is give shit to people who need it Right only giving Taylor Swift only gives money to people people who need it because she can get publicity for it. She doesn't give money to people who just like want a bunch of whores. Right? That would be a sacrifice.

You gave $10,000 to that guy because he wanted to fuck a bunch of whores. She could fund an entire season of this show. That's charity. It cost me. And everyone hates me. And a bunch of my pedophile fans Don't like me Are mad at me now

Yeah That's sacrifice But all she does is It's like Helping animals Helping cops While you're describing Why I dislike Mr. Beast

It's too easy Yeah I'm gonna help blind people see Yeah Alright Why don't you help like a Why don't you help a Nazi Like uh

You know Escape Yeah escape Get him a lawyer. Just do it. Yeah. Who cares what people think? That's charity, man. Yeah, because then you're actually putting yourself out there. Yeah, celebrities doing charities different than me not doing charity.

Fund Dr. Scholl's defense fund. That man should not be sent back to Germany to face trial for his crimes. We got your Dr. Scholl's. Twice in one episode. Okay, go ahead. Should've said Dr. Pepper. Alright, Dick, I got a game for you. Alright.

You like games? No. Okay, well you're going to hate this one. I'm going to give you a sequence of three numbers. Okay? Okay. Here are the numbers. 5, 10, 20. Now, hold on

Shut up Your job is All you can do is name your own sets of numbers And I will say yes That fits the rule I've established For the sets of numbers Or no it does not fit the rule I've established For the sets of numbers

I have a mathematical rule in my head 7 14 28 Yes that fits my rule numbers. What are you talking about? Really? I have a mathematical rule in my head. 7, 14, 28. Yes, that fits my rule. Okay. I have to do it again? You're allowed to stop whenever you want. Do you believe you've identified the rule? 3, 6, 12.

That is correct. Okay. 13, 26, 52. That is correct. Alright, yeah. Yeah, okay. I think I got it. You think you got it. What is the rule? A prime number doubled and then doubled again? The rule was three numbers in succession where each number is bigger than the one that came before it. This is the most maddest thing I've ever fucking experienced in fucking 10 years. Dick, you have just suffered from what is called the confirmation bias.

A phrase coined by English psychologist Peter Watson. My fucking girlfriend is texting me. It's ascending order. I do the same trick on my students. This is the tendency of- You know what? You know what? Here's something funny for you.

I got a game for you. Okay. That guy that we had lunch with, you know how you told him to get a bunch of stuff with that preview he was going to? And I said, don't send it to Vito, send it to me, and then I'll give it to him if he gets on the scale. Sure. He emailed me today and said, hey, I'm sending you a bunch of cool stuff that I got at the

video game thing that's limited edition, and you can give it to Vito if he gets it. The only way I get it is if I get on the scale. How's that for a fucking joke? Well, that's bullshit as well, because now there's exclusive Final Fantasy merchandise being given to Dick to fuck with me. So everybody, if you have any toys that Vito

wants, give it to me, and I'll only give it to him if he gets on the scale. And if not, you're going to break it in front of me, right? I'll burn it! I'll run over it with my fucking car! Oh, don't do that, because that's, like, fucked. I'll destroy it. At my fucking car. Oh, don't do that because that's like fucked. I'll destroy it. At least give it to somebody else. No.

Oh my god. Anyway, as we know Dick. Do you feel good about yourself? Well, I mean Doing me like making me think about shit and explain it and then have it be a big fucking trick. It's not a trick. It's you confirmed something.

You had an idea in your head. You said, I think I know what the rule is. I'm going to try and confirm it. Then you found things that confirmed what you believed the rule to be. Yeah, your fucking game did. It's not a game. It's just, and then instead of taking the time to challenge your confirmation bias, you went, well, I must have gotten it.

There's no other explanation. And that is, of course, the confirmation bias. So why was there a fucking smug look on your face when you said the joke was actually way simpler? I would have fallen for it, too, I'm pretty sure. I mean, I don't know. So you did it to make yourself think that we're the same. That's the fucking smug point of it. That's what annoys people.

Look, you identified one possible answer, and then that was your bias, and you went with it. That's fine. Yeah, and it would always work because there's no end of primes. So what's the fucking problem? Oh, yeah, but you could have said, you could have tested like- One, two, three. Yeah. I don't want to be wrong, though.

That doesn't fit perfectly in the example. But you wouldn't be wrong. I Yeah. I don't want to be wrong, though. That doesn't fit perfectly. But you wouldn't be wrong. I would just tell you no. Might be wrong, though. But it's not wrong because you're still figuring out the rule. But it might be wrong. It might be wrong. But not wrong, just not adhering to the rule.

I don't want to even risk being wrong at all. Point is, Dick. What are you looking for? That tweet from my good friend, Chuck Dixon. So whereas you have a confirmation bias that perhaps these sets of numbers go in order, someone else's confirmation bias might be the comic books have too much homosexual stuff in them. As we saw from Ripiverse writer Chuck Dixon. Chuck Dixon, who wrote AlphaCoreore decided to post a tweet which he has finally

deleted after getting a community note and that was this tweet here. I'll bring it out. I'll bring up the picture here. I just want to show No, I use this all the time. So Chuck Dixon's tweet was, who wants this? And it is a

screenshot of a panel from a DC comic featuring Superboy. This is Superman's bisexual son whose name I forget. Connor Kent, I believe. Talking to Nightwing as Superboy says, I'm bi.

How about you? Nightwing says, I guess I've only ever dated women but look at me. I'm gorgeous. I'm an absolute snack. I've got to be at least a little queer. Now, I saw that, and I went, I don't think that's the actual dialogue from this Superman comic,

because I've read a Superman comic. Because you're so fucking smart, and you tricked me with this fucking game that you're doing. It's just, I went, look, I've read a Nightwing comic. Nightwing's kind of a jackass. I've never, I can't imagine that a DC writer had Nightwing go, I'm a fucking snack. Look at me. You must be a little queer. I must be a little bit queer.

And then Mr. McSipplyic comes out and goes, I've got a big dick up my ass. Mr. Mixoplex, come on. So Chuck Dixon posted this, apparently believing it was real, was then shown that the actual dialogue is something. I bet he called the cops. Cops, I've been writing comics about you guys for years. Can you go on Twitter and make this a real panel that I tweeted? I don't know where he found this.

The actual dialogue is, I'm going to go look for Superman or Batman or whatever. Retard.Boomer is where he found it. The point is that for some strange... Facebook.Minions. I guess people assume Chuck Dixon is like a trusted comics guru. I mean, he wrote AlphaCore, of course. He's one of the old men of comics. He invented Bane.

He wouldn't just randomly post Boomer bait that he found online because he kind of hates gay people. Bane. It's a guy that does steroids. Hey, you know Hannibal Lecter? What if he was all juiced up on steroids? Wow. Oh, that's awesome. That's cool.

Yeah, do that. Yeah, you should come up with that and never come up with anything good ever again. Yeah, pretty cool. I'm done. So not only does Chuck, yeah, take a breather there, Chuck. Pretty cool. Make me a Chuck cutout face so I can do it before the end of the episode.

Send it to me on my email. Yeah, send Dick a cutout. Yes, I can't believe everybody's on steroids. Pretty cool. Chuck Dixon, who is... Got a little dial, juices it up. Yeah. How much steroids is he on? Oh, you can see on a little dial. He's got, like that guy in Judge Dredd.

Yeah, pretty cool. Respect the cops. Respect the police. All right, Chuck. Calm down. Well. You got it wrong, Chuck. Okay?

This was not the. Yeah, but you can imagine. But the fact that people think it's real really says a lot to the. Well, that's kind of the problem. Really says a lot to the way things are. So the way this works is an old boomer comic writer who hates that there's gay people in the comics now says, look, they're making Nightwing talk about being gay. Then Dean Cain, the Superman actor, retweets it and says, no, thank you.

Dean Cain, who has a comic book coming from repoverse artist Gabe El-Tayib. The Chinese Superman Yeah, Gene Kane, the Asian Superman He's flying like this Superman, use your laser vision to get him away I can't open my eyes Alright, well Rowis! Rowis Rain!

I don't remember that episode You don't remember that episode? I don't think he said it. You don't remember that episode? I don't remember the Roeis Reign episode. When Superman's mom came back and she's like, Why you all the reporter? You should own newspaper. How come it's so like- How come he got Crypto the Superdog?

He goes, Crypto the Supercat go missing one day. Go missing in mama kitchen and never return. Don't you think it's like- We got enough Asian stereotypes out of the way. Go ahead. Okay, don't you think that like, so just read Nightwing. That's the guy, Batman's son. Don't you think it's like a little-

Batman's son. You ever hear real weird guys talk about black guys and their big cocks? They're like, yeah, these black guys and their fucking huge cocks. And you're like, all right, man. I understand if you're just racist, but you're making it weirdly sexual. Don't you think that that's kind of like they're very extremely fit, powerful men talking about how each other is gay and needs to fuck? Don't you think that's a little gay? Well, I'm going to say I hope Chuck didn't make it.

I don't think Chuck made this image. But he's tweeting it. He is tweeting it. I have a fucking tight, fat ass. What the fuck, man? He's very worried that we're going to make the kids gay with gay superheroes. Because, again, this has been the foundational basis of the Ripperverse. It's like, aren't you tired of all that gay shit?

Look, it's right here. Look, they made a Nightwing say a bunch of gay shit. You're mad at that, so give all your money to a black guy for some reason. So he can buy warehouses. So he can buy warehouses and not make a gay Nightwing. And then Dean Cain retweets it. No, thank you. No, thank you.

I don't want that. And then rather than go hey guys i got it wrong you know what there's actually good marvel writing out there this is what i got taken in it said chuck dixon posted this exact response about 5 000 times oh uh that response was the fact that we even have to question whether this is fake or not speaks volumes. You're a retard. That's what it says. He posted that. I didn't even get screenshots of all of it. What the fuck?

It's like Neil deGrasse Tyson kissing yourself on the lips in a mirror. Why don't you just say I'm a dumb boomer who hates gay stuff in comics and I got my confirmation bias was activated. I said I knew it. I knew the comics were full of gay stuff. Here it is right now, and I never thought for a second, well, hold on.

Look, guys. Maybe there's something else going on here. I just over, I hate gay people. You hate gay people. I know, but I messed up, all right? Right. We can still hate gay people. It doesn't, they're not, you know, they're not getting more or less AIDS because I tweeted

that thing, right? I agree to that with an enthusiastic yeah. Yeah! No, no. That was your that was my game on you. Here Vito, I have a numbers game for you. Uh, three hundred and ten point four. Shut up.

Yeah, what's the next number in sequence? Two hundred and ninety, uh, two hundred and ninety four. Sure. Yeah, uh, two hundred and ninety nine Two hundred and ninety-four. Sure. Yeah. Uh, two hundred and ninety-nine. Okay. Now you give me some numbers.

I hate you so much. Point is, Dick. Why are you fucking trying to embarrass me with this game about... It's not an embarrassment. Everyone falls for it. It's not just you. Falls for it. Who wants... There you go. Well... Falls for it. It's not just you. Falls for it. There you go.

Falls for it. It's a fucking humiliation prank joke. It's not a humiliation prank joke. Falls for it. What does that mean then? It establishes. You get scientists around there like, oh, they fell for my fucking sociological experiment. Fucking dumb idiot.

Shut up. We all have biases. That's it. Okay? We have certain blind spots because our brains want to organize information. There's only so much room for information. We need to organize it logically.

We need to take shortcuts. Your shortcut is to not think as good as you should about numbers, which is something you should work on. Dick's shortcut is to assume all the comics are full of guys running around shoving their dicks in everybody's mouth. Okay?

And unfortunately, you know, when you buy those— Maybe it's just a mistake that he made. You didn't think about that with your confirmation bias because you think all these right-wing guys are just, like, homophobes. Well, I think the homophobes— It's just an interesting mistake that he made. No, it's not a mistake. I think it is. I think it is a mistake, but it's a mistake based on a bias that i think it is a mistake but it's a mistake based

on a bias that at no point did he say that he made he could have lied his publicist was running the account since you like hiding information about these fucking stupid games that you're doing he could have logically thought it through and said you know what this sounds a little out there and what's interesting is actually the writer of this comic tom taylor said chuck you know what you've actually you've fallen for a, but I want to thank you so much for helping pioneer these great characters. He was very nice about it. You know, kill him with kindness. You know, didn't expose the fact that Chuck Dixon.

No, that doesn't work. You've got to kill him with death. Yeah, we also saw. Kill him with death. That old adage. You know what you've got to do, son? All those bullies out there in your school, kill them with death. Fight them.

Murder them. Don't fight back. Fight them first. The whole Ripaverse, of course, getting in on this misinformation because, again, this is the community manager of the Ripaverse. Is that the cross-eyed guy? Yeah, I think this is the cross-eyed gentleman. That's why Ricky Rattato wears those goggles because he's got cross-eyes like Eric Jalai's fucking warehouse manager.

I just think your argument that all the comics suck compared to yours go out the window if you can't even find something to actually be mad about and you gotta start inventing fake comic or finding ones that, again, reinforce your bias. What did Shit Citian say about this? He said, that's it. DC is

dead to me. They have officially fucked over all of my favorite characters, much in the same way Marvel has. From behind. Because they're gay. He fucked them over from behind? He fucked them over from behind. See what I mean? Yeah, it would have been better if we just fucked them. Anyway, so that's an example of confirmation bias from

Dick and the Ripiverse hopefully they'll both work on that it's just an interesting little thing what a fucking funny I thought it was fun it adds something to the show you got any more guesses?

No. So would you say you got the rule right? Well, I didn't want to stretch it out. You know what? You're right. You got any more number guesses? Shut up. Shut up.

Look. I'll say on a long enough timeline. Dick, a guy rode into town on a Friday, and he stayed three days. All right. Yeah. A man was found murdered with a puddle beneath his feet. What happened? He hung himself with an icicle.

I don't fucking know. That's not what it was. All right. I'm going to say if I had allowed that thought experiment to play out longer, you would have eventually stumbled across. No, I would have made it more complicated. I don't even know why I used the term prime number talking to you. I don't know why you said prime number at all.

That's stupid. That was stupid. That was incorrect. I was like, no, it's definitely not that. Well, because I'm thinking like, okay, it's obviously doubles, but there's going to be some stupid rule where it has to be something, and that's a low enough prime where you wouldn't notice it. See, I think also the problem

with a thought experiment like that is that smart people will try to metagame it because they're like, well, it can't be something simple because that's stupid and a waste of everyone's time. Metagaming, is that what you're trying to gaslight us into thinking that that's not a positive? That makes us better than you guys. Metagaming.

Congratulations on metagaming the problem, Dick. Thank you. Not necessary. The congratulations actually feels like a blight to me Feels like a poison that I need to ex- A dumber person probably would have got it right quicker It's only because of how smart you are that you couldn't get it right I got it right Well, once I told you the answer

Still would have worked Well, I'll be sure Okay, my last problem is bad snaps Bad snaps Like, you're like My snaps are great Let's go Well, I'll be sure. Okay, my last problem is bad snaps. Bad snaps. Like, you're like... My snaps are great. Let's go. Okay, four in a row.

Oh, man, fuck you. I was trying to do a snap for some reason the other day, and I was like... I can get a thud. I'll get some thuds. Can't get one now, though. It's the first one, though. Once you get into the rhythm, you can do it. But you need a snap to punctuate a joke, like, right away.

And you're like, ugh. I feel like I'm losing a couple. Bad. Finger snaps. We don't use finger snaps enough in society. But then, you know, then they've been trying to ruin finger snaps. They're like, you're not allowed to clap anymore in these, like, college campuses because it's too jarring for people with PTSD, so you gotta do the finger

snaps. PTSD? Yeah. Post-traumatic trans disorder? All these college kids have PTSD. Well, pretty much. Trans. My dad yelled at me for putting on a dress, and now I have PTSD. I thought you were actually talking about your dad for a second. I went to a... That conversation

went, oh, you too? And I went, eh. That conversation went Oh you too? And I went eh All these are a long line of perverts and weirdos Yeah I went to a Patty Harrison show And sat next to this Have you ever seen Revenge of the Nerds?

Yes Remember that really skinny black guy? Yes He looked exactly like him The effeminate homosexual black man. Whatever he was doing. Yeah. And everything.

Zambda, zambda, zambda, and Omega Moo. I love that song. So I guess if we're going to a snap world. Yeah. But I can't snap for shit with this hand. He was snapping? He was snapping the whole time, man. To show appreciation?

I don't know. Distract me, probably. I was metagaming it once again and I thought he was fucking trying to distract me. Yeah. So there's a black guy aggressively out-snapping you

at a show? That's the problem. Vote on it or not. That's it. I gotta dig into this for a second. It's already an hour 30. It's bad snaps. When you go to snap,

wouldn't it be amazing? But why were you intimidated by the black man being good at snapping? Why does that matter to you at all? Because I want to be able to snap. You don't have to snap. But wouldn't it be great if you could? No, I don't think it matters either way.

Like if you could snap so hard it would blow someone's fucking face off. How much time did you spend investigating this man's ability to snap better than you? You know, like most of my interactions with those guys, I couldn't avoid. The snappers. Uh-huh. Snapples? Did you say snapper? What up, my snapper?

How you been? All right. That's the show, everyone. What a show. That was a good show. Shut up. They're all good shows. What the fuck?

I can't even compliment you. It's like the backhanded compliments people leave in the comments when they go, finally a good one. We've told them not to do that. I don't know why you're allowed to do it. Oh, finally a listenable episode. I didn't say that. I said that was a good show. All right. It was a good show.

Those were good problems. Sure. Taylor Swift. Bad snapping. show. Those were good problems. Sure. Taylor Swift, Bad Snapping, Dick's inability to recognize the sequence of numbers, and Robocalls.

Go to biggestproblem.show to vote. Go to patreon.com slash biggestproblem to not see the Lady Ballers commentary. And I'm sure nobody in the Discord or anything will have any sort of link for you ever. And that's the bottom line. Easily the worst movie ever made. Worse than any Kirk Cameron movie.

Complete dog shit. I hope Jeremy Boring gets cancer from how bad that movie was. Or at least leukemia. Okay, so the worst, I don't know if I can say the worst part, but just the fact that they had to put a Jeremy Razor's plug into the movie. And a She Heard Chocolate. And a She Heard Chocolate bar.

And I'm like, guys. The movie was an advertisement for the Daily Wire. The end credit scene was, you know how in Marvel it's like oh here's Thanos, Ant-Man's gonna be in the next one. The end credit scene was Jordan Peterson. Mid-credit scene. That Ant-Man's going to be in the next one. The end credit scene was Jordan Peterson. No.

The mid-credit scene. That was what you're supposed to be amped about. And Matt Walsh was a secret. The joke of that movie is just guys who are just total members of the LGBT community just going like, oh, man, oh, God. I'm so put out and concerned by this. Just being total cucks. Stuff's happening.

They're like, oh, man. That's so. Jordan Peterson just sitting there. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's why this is happening to you guys. You don't ever say anything. It's weird to see a comedy that has the bones of one of these 90s sports comedies. Yeah.

So it feels familiar. And you're like, wait, I thought these had jokes. Better off dead. Yeah. I thought these had kind of characters that you wanted to root for or who were likable in any way. The writing was so bad. Someone needed to step in and be like, you don't have a premise.

What is the premise? What if guys played basketball against ladies? Why? For what reason? To accomplish what? Yeah, why are they doing it? To win their wives back? Like the full Monty? Yeah. You know, rip that off. Well, it was obviously... To save a rec center? Like, that's kitschy and funny.

Why is his kid there? To save a men's center! To save a VFW! Like, our VFW's been taken over by a fucking battered woman's shelter we gotta raise enough money to save the VFW it's a simple shit Jeremy you fucking idiot

instead they made it that they had to save women so the movie is both about women's sports are stupid and dumb but we have to protect them and also we have to protect them at all costs against these filthy trans people. And I'm like, hold on. And two guys on my team are double penetrating

and impregnating a lady basketball player who's inexplicably hot. You have to pick a theme for the movie. And if the movie is women's sports are stupid, do that. But then the moral of the movie can't be actually women's sports are great and we have to get all these men out of there. Which isn't funny.

Wow, what a mess that was. I could think about that movie all day. It was so gross and bad. They actually called the team the Lady Ballers. That was a joke that made it all the way to the screen. Yeah. What should the name of the funniest trans basketball team be called? Well, they're called

the Lady Ball team because they have testicles. Matt Walsh and Candace Owens played themselves at the end of the movie. I liked Candace Owens before seeing that. Now I can't. Well, I can't agree with you there. She was fine.

I mean, I liked her. I wouldn't spit on her. If I saw her now, spit. Matt Walsh was almost believable as a stupid hippie, but they didn't give him any good lines. So what's the point? You got some voicemails, I guess. Oh, yeah, sorry. Somebody did this thing where they go,

hey, make sure to play this voicemail, and I've already forgotten what it is. Kill yourself. I don't care. So if it was really good, I'm sorry. Oh, is this us? Yeah, okay. Okay. Can you sort these?

Sort these by length. I can't. Yes, you can. Get your wallets ready. Get away from my mouse! Welcome to Vito's Casino. There you go. That's a good voicemail. Lizzo. Lizzo's calling in. Vito's Casino. There you go. That's a good voicemail. Lizzo.

Lizzo's calling in. Vito's Casino. Hey, this is Lizzo. Hi, Lizzo. I'm calling you with a voicemail. This is how I talk. Yep. Cool.

Vito, I feel ya. And I'm not going to give you any of my amazing and fleshy sway plus tips because I respect boundaries. Thank you. because I respect boundaries. Thank you. Also, I was thinking about the makes my dick wet comment from Adox. And I was thinking,

how do you think he thought you looked when he said that? No, that's the wrong show. Now you're not being Lizzo anymore, you fucking idiot. So does Dick say, does Maddox say make my dick wet? He said you were talking over him on his live Q&A. Yeah. He was talking to Boogie and Maddox was telling Boogie

that one of the last things he said to me was that, was quote, look, money doesn't make my dick wet. Right. Instead of dick hard.

Well, no, I think that is. No, no, no, no, no, no. The phrase is not money. The phrase is not blank. Does it make my dick wet? It's blank. Does it make my dick hard? It's blank doesn't make my dick hard.

Getting your dick wet means fucking a woman. Right. But I'm saying. Here's my fucking riddle. I got a fucking saying for you. Tell me what's wrong with the saying. Money doesn't make my dick wet. I think you could say money doesn't make my dick wet, though.

Well, the reason I'm saying that is because I think I recently also said something about my dick. I think I said that. Chuck Dixon would say, like, yeah, this is totally. I mean, the fact that I could say it makes my dick wet really makes you think, right? Well, I said to somebody, I don't know if this gets your dick wet. I hope you're doing it ironically, because if you're doing that thinking that's a saying, you're wrong. I hope you're doing it ironically, because if you're doing that thinking that's a saying, you're wrong. Well, I understand that getting your dick wet would mean that it has been inside a vagina, right?

So it's not that... You would say, I got my dick wet. Yeah, you should say. He's doing that to get his dick wet. Does it get your dick hard? I think it's a spin on it, though. It is a... It's like an irony-poisoned brain spin. We used to be giving high fives all the time

And one guy went hey low five And you went whoa It was like a spin So you want to get And we also doing low fives Who's we? Me and all my bros And then we started doing airlocks

Stop don't say get my dick wet Either make the Either say the saying or say a joke don't not know which one you're doing okay okay what's all your fucking math games that you're doing well you're making my dick very dry right now i'm good soft i hope i got a soft draw dick. Hey, Dick. How you doing? And I don't like it. The reason that Eric July has all these contractors instead of employees is so he doesn't actually have to pay them benefits or work at comp and all that bullshit. It's cheaper that way. That's why Uber works the way it does and DoorDash, all that bullshit. Anyway, go fuck yourselves.

God, that's going to be the worst when the first Ripaverse employee gets cancer and we gotta do like a Ripaverse they're gonna do one of those GoFundMes. First gets cancer? What do you mean? I mean, like, something's gonna happen. Is it great handling all that cancerous materials? I'm just saying, every time, you know, there's like an organization and they have to do one of these GoFundMes.

I fucking hate everyone that works at that company. So, but, I mean, that's true, but isn't there, like, a limit to how much you can employ? How many contractors you can have? And how much you can employ them? Like, you can't employ them full-time as contractors. Maybe in Texas you can. If they are working in a warehouse, then technically I don't think you can have them as contractors.

Because part of the thing of contractors... What if you're retarded? Well... What if they're retarded? You can report them as contractors. What if you're retarded? What if they're retarded? You can report them as contractors, but if anybody goes to the IRS... Oh, God. I'm ruining Eric's business again. Report Eric! Report Eric to La Doja!

Report him to the IRS right now! Do it! Do it! Do it! The point... My understanding of the contract is... I want him broken and dead! If there's a principal point of business at which the contractor is expected to arrive

every day at the same time and is required to do their business within that location, then they are no longer a contractor. They are working for a location. They are an employee. That's my understanding. Be that as what it is, what it may.

My God. Whatever. Have a million warehouses, Eric. You My God. Whatever. Have a million warehouses, Eric. You deserve them. Okay. Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito. My rage is premature announcements. Vito, you grill Dick all the time about the silly tan skating routine, but he mentioned it

one time, and he doesn't talk about how he's going to do it every single week. And he also injected saline into his balls. So you can't really talk about him not doing stuff for his fans. Here's a list of things that Vito has announced. I'm going to start doing stand-up regularly. I'm going to start writing

with a writing partner. I'm going to start doing regular live shows. I'm going to release a podcast. You announced this almost two years ago on the podcast, Vito. I'm going to finish my movie script. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to finish my movie script. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to finish my comic. The comic is finished.

My part of the comic is finished. Really? I'm doing a little bit of clean up work. One thing. Okay. Trutch Me is still fucking sold out, dude. This is not my... Okay, I will put up a different... How do I have one, then? How do I have an XL if it fucking sold out, dude. This is not my... Okay, I will put up a different...

How do I have one, then? How do I have an XL if it's sold out? It doesn't make any sense. You got yours from someone else. I got it from me. Yeah. This is your fucking merch. I will...

Why don't you answer these numbers? Zero, zero, and zero. See if you can crack the fucking riddle that I'm doing. How many clips did you put up on the fucking YouTube? How many? Zero. Promotional? I don't fucking know.

Zero. How many shirts are available for Killdozer.industries? Truxme. Zero. You can get all the other shirts. Hold on. Are the XLs sold out for these ones as well? I'm confused now.

Okay, that makes no sense because they're supposed to be the same shirt. Nah, because that's just black. The Truxme is heather black. Oh, okay. It has to be heather black. It can't be just black. So these shirts are bad. Well, why don't you like send an email or something? I'll just add the regular black shirts instead of the black heather.

No, the regular black is going to look like shit. It's got to be heather black like this. Well, don't say it's going to look like shit because the regular Biggest Problem shirts are just solid black. That's fine. That logo, it's fine with that logo. Trucks me has to be Heather black. Okay, because the logo is like kind of light.

Yes. Okay. I'll send them an email. I'll find out when the XLs are getting back. CC me on the email or I'll totally lose it. All right. Jesus Christ. What else have I done?

I'm pitching. Well, not I done? I'm pitching. Well, not pitching, but I'm talking to a company about trying to get some of my other ideas off the ground. What company? I don't know. I'm not going to announce it until we have a deal in place. Cool. Wow. They want to do this thing where I'm like a featured creator, you know?

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Is it Rumble? It's not Rumble, no. Oh. It is a collaborative storytelling platform. Is it Fire app? That fucking Story Fire app?

It's not Story Fire. And they're like, you can put Superkiller up here. I'm like, so what would happen? And then people could tell you how to write Superkiller. I'm like, oh, we're not doing that. But we got other stuff I could put up there. Why, are you too good for that? No, it's just like, it's kind of like weirdly, I'm like, what if somebody suggests an idea and I use it?

Then don't they legally, and they're like, no, they got to sign some shit so they don't know. I got to go to the bathroom. So maybe I'll put. You have a mouse. I do have a mouse, and I do have some super chats I can read. And that's what I'm going to do. The point is I have some old story concepts that have been kicking around, which maybe you'll be able to contribute to and be part of the magic. Or not, if these guys don't pay me money.

Koof for two says, thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Milo Stinkopolis for five says, shout out to Palestine and Yemen. Shout out. LJ Calabarino for two. How much for a call to prayer Pokemon versus Pal World? It's not a bad idea. That would actually be on theme.

Shit Lips for two. R.I.P. Car. Well, no longer R.I.P. Because now you can get All Star Wraps for your vehicle. I believe it's allstar-wraps.com. Allstar-wraps.com, allstar-raps.com in beautiful Sacramento, California. We're going to see about making an entire Ricky Retardo car. I want the Ricky helmet. Where's the Ricky helmet? I'll get it later. Let's see. Here is Mint Salad with,

and I would give you a drum roll, but i don't have the steam deck a big fifty dollars uh mint says my very not safe for work yaira cosplay sets and videos start to release weekly on fansly.com slash yaira cosplay this weekend i have four brand new ice themed dildos. Happy Yira winter from Mint Salad. I've seen Mint Salad's Yira costume. And guys, I think Ricky, they're not going to let you look at that in the home because you're going to get too excited. Oh, they're not. They're going to have to take your juice box away. Big boobie white baby.

Yeah. Big boobie white baby. Yeah. Big booby white baby. Yeah. I think the Alpha Corps group home in which you're forced to wait for your next mission. You know what's funny about the Alpha Corps comic? Yeah. You know that the ship crashed into the ghetto because I'm saving a black family. Yeah.

Isn't that funny? I mean, Chuck Dixon wrote it, so I have to assume. And then they killed, weirdly, they killed the cop at the end, like Jesus. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know anything about like story directing or anything like that, but Chuck Dixon wrote a comic with a bunch of super-powered fascists where the guy who died at the end was like a cop who wanted to do the right thing, right? Right.

And he's kind of shocking and jar when he dies, because you think, well, he's like, it's like a superhero comic, you shouldn't die. Except it's like Chuck Dixon just loves cops so much, so he wrote a cop as Jesus Christ, dying at the end for the sins of Alcocor. I think what's great about- What the fuck were you writing, bro? You're writing- A cop died for Alcvacore. I think what's great about What the fuck were you writing, bro? You writing? A cop died for Alcvacore.

I'm retarded, I know that. Jesus fucking Christ. Where have you been your whole life, man? I will say Chuck is kind of an expert writer, though, because he said, I'm an old white man who knows nothing about the black community. What if my black character says nothing? That's how you write around that situation. What if my black character says nothing?

That's how you write around that situation. Do you know how to write authentic African-American dialogue? No. And I won't even try. I'd have Eric write it, but he'd just say, it is what it is every two seconds. He should have said that. He could have said that. Dominic for two says, EBS is streaming.

Why would I watch this? Why don't you go fucking kill yourself, Dominic should have said that. Dominic for two says, EBS is streaming. Why would I watch this? Why don't you go fucking kill yourself, Dominic? Go kill yourself, Dominic. Why don't you watch yourself bleed out in the bathroom? Go kill yourself in Pal World. Mint Salad for five says, I have at Yaira Cosplay on Instagram. At Yaira Cosplay. And Twitter, too, for the more safe for work Yaira Cosplay stuff. I will be Yaira IRL until Yira's

canonically killed off. Yira and Ricky, we now have two cosplay outfits. I'm going to say this is the real Ricky. Is Riley Shugnight? Larry Shugnight? With pepperoni nipples? Or is he just Wolverine for some reason? That sounds more like

Riley, actually. Riley has yet to determine his Alpha Corps character. Did I talk about Riley beating up Mint Dalad Boobs? I saw him punching Yaira's boobs. Did you see that? Yeah. It's just a cut. First of all, Mint fucked up her line.

She fucked up her line a little bit. And then Riley like, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Like, I don't even know. I've never felt like this amount of turned on and this amount of funny and this amount of embarrassment for both of you. Yeah. It's perfect.

It's totally perfect. Well, I'm going to say the superhero antics of the Clippaverse, or what is he, young Clippa and Yaira have entertained us all, and I look forward to more. They're doing great work. Yeah. And you can find it at Yaira have entertained us all, and I look forward to more. They're doing great work. Yeah. And you can find it at Yaira Cosplay on Instagram. Is she going to be using the ice power on her nipples?

Well, she says she has four brand-new ice-themed dildos, which she'll be using. But that you have to watch on fancy. Like I said, Ricky, Ricky, check with the group home before you boot up your fun pewter or whatever. How about the child porn that they put in the- I don't want to talk about the child porn. In the Alvacore- Please stop looking at Alvacore's- I said no!

Brian! I said no, Brian! I'm not accusing you. How the fuck is the name Brian? Are you serious? Superman's name was Clark. No, his name was Superman, you retarded idiot. His name was not.

He picked the name Clark to fucking contrast with the superhero name. And then Chuck Dixon picked the name fucking Brian. Bro. Ricky, I don't know what to tell you. Super Brian? That's what they call him. He's flying around, busting through walls. They call him Brian.

Oh, Brian. Better call Brian. I'm going to call regular friends then if they're like exceed... If they... My fucking... My fucking friends

don't call me my real fucking name. They call me dick. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Ricky, do we need to get Ricky some sort of

his medication or something? Stay off those AlphaCore computers. I don't like what's on those USB sticks, Ricky. Well, I'm dead. Don't put the child porn in there. Brian. Brian.

Brian, don't put the child porn you had in the computer. Fuck it all up. The detective, man. He's a loose cannon. He plays by his own rules. I grew up retarded in the ghetto. Fuck it all up. The detective, man. He's a loose cannon. He plays by his own rules. I grew up retarded in the ghetto, all right? I fucking had a hard life. I know.

And then I was in the military. Yeah. No one broke me out of prison because I'm not white like the A-team. Well, wait. They had a black guy. They had a black guy, Ricky. Pretty famously had a black guy They had a black guy, Ricky Pretty famously had a black guy, actually Yeah, because he has a

Doing stereotypes Yeah Not me Maybe you should get some cool chains or something You know, add to that helmet Don't have any money Yeah I'll spend it all on warehouse

And fuck that Alright, Ricky JJ for five Perfect timing for the show to start EBS just wrapped up His brutal Alpha Corps review Now we have Ricky came to visit You hear that? Perfect timing for the show to start EBS just wrapped up His brutal Alpha Corps review Now we have Ricky came to visit

You hear that? Perfect timing for the show to start Perfect timing I suggested we push the show back We did, thank you Thank you for letting us do that No punches pulled on his friend Chuck Dixon Wow

We will have to watch Eric Or I'll have to watch it It was funny I was watching a little of it When I was coming over I tuned in right Right when Ethan coming over. I tuned in right with Ethan VanSky where he says, why the fuck is the ground colored like

a pizza? All of the earth is colored like a pizza because the ground doesn't fucking look like that. Yeah, the coloring is a little aggressive in that book. Flark, respecter for five, bring back the old lobby music. Let's hear from you guys. Leave your superchats. Do you want the old music or the current music?

I know people are split. You've got to give your man Martian a chance. Yeah, we've got to have a poll. He's up against a computer. He's like John Henry, the steel beat driving man versus a computer. Exactly. So who will win, man versus machine? Machine wins.

That's what that taught. Well, that's kind of the problem. That's why Taylor Swift is fucked. G.H. for 20 Canadian says this is from last week because it wouldn't send. Thank you for all your hard work. So you owe two. That's one from last week. Now you owe this week.

Now you owe one for this week. Thank you. James Gardner for 20 American. Everyone should watch the real Yira wherever it is that she it is. Is it? Is it? Is. Jacob Baboof for five.

College would be a whole lot harder without you guys. Keep on protecting the pet-os, Vito, and keep on running your gay ops, Mr. Masterson. Yes, gay op everything. Absolutely. Shitlips for two. Hello, friends, and I guess also the women. Kix Mechanic for five. Much love, my

brothers in Christ. Outthink Vegas for two. Sean reminds me of Data from The Next Generation. Vito is Jabba. What, The Hut? It's not even the same show. Is that a Star Trek character? Would you feel better if there was another fat? I would feel better.

Well, hopefully it's not. It doesn't even make sense. Who would you not like to be in Star Trek? I hate you people. Johnny Rocket for ten. I can't believe. Yeah, I want to be the planet. I'm an M-class planet.

Engage warp nine to escape my gravitational pull. All right, make all the Star Trek jokes you want. Like that giant squid. It's Morlock, the living planet. He'll eat us all. And he's a pedophile. He's raping that little planet. Okay.

Too much. Johnny Rock for 10. I can't believe you two. Cyber bullying a black guy led to me being hired to write. Oh, my God. We haven't even talked about that. You read the whole thing. Johnny Rock is the creator of the Isom rewrite.

He says, I cannot thank you both enough. It is so much fun. I will still be harsh on Superkiller for the shipping shit. Ten bucks is definitely not thinking enough, though. That should have been twenty. Half your first paycheck should go to this show. We made this happen.

The guy who wrote the... A guy, Johnny Rocket, who cut up ISOM number one and two and made them a good story. He changed the entire thing. He gave ISOM a backstory one and two and made them a good story. Yeah. Like, he changed the entire thing. He gave Isam a backstory right away, and he made it about, like, this guy. Isam's investigating the death of his former partner, potentially at the hands of Darren. And it's like.

I'm like, oh, man, I could not help but get pulled back in in such a scenario. Yeah, and it's funny, and it's a little bit like blaxploitation funny. I was trying to think of another word. But it's like just enough. Bit of a menstrual show, let's say. I don't know. Did you see Alex Stein came on EVS and said that the Blaze told him to lay off Eric July? Yes.

The Blaze told him specifically. Yes. It was like, I saw him say, there's a lot of guys. There was a little tumbleweed that blew by behind Ethan VanSkyver when he said that. Right, because here's the thing

is like I know my problem is that I can't shut my mouth, right? But then I see other guys and I'm like oh, Alex Stein will do good because he knows how to shut his mouth. But then when he says that I'm like whoa!

Me and Alex are like the same guy because he also should not be saying that shit. He's like yeah the Blaze basically made me apologize to uh you know eric they basically told us yeah alex keep going back here on the playstation alex yeah glenn beck sat him down he said motherfucker do you know how hard it is to get a black guy to do this there's not that many of them so uh glenn be Beck really is turning Jewish Finding a tough-talking black libertarian It's not an easy catch

I think it is Catch is not the word I think you could get Flava Flav Really To do what Eric does I think he's very easy He's an excellent I think Glenn Beck just has only maybe seen two black people in his life is the problem

Eric J is an excellent bullshitter, though. That's like his whole thing. He's like, the problem is that he's never encountered anybody who goes, oh, you're bullshitting. No, I'm not. I'm like, yeah, you are, obviously. Like, we know you are. What are you talking about? It was funny.

To see Alex Stein go, yeah, the Blaze called me and said that they personally hate Eric and that they invested in his comic. He didn't say that. Hold on. He said that. Didn't he not say that? He did not say the Blaze invested in Eric's comic. I thought he said that.

I didn't watch it. I just heard people talking about it. Spreading rumors for your confirmation bias. Oh, fucking thank you. I was going to say, well, here's the other thing is that, I mean, it all comes down to a numbers game. Ethan VanSkyver streaming to 3,000 people beating out the entire likes of Geeks and Gamers and Friday Night Tights and

Yellow Flash. And Alex came on and he basically said that multiple times. He's like, listen, man, you're streaming to 3,000 people. Like, I know where the bread is buttered. You go where the audience is. And he's like, so he's like, Ethan, I don't want you. Oh, a new beer for Dick.

There we go. You can't play it and not drink it. You have to drink it at the same time as the music. No. It's not for opening the can. Popeye didn't open the can and then look at it dumbly while the music played. He ate the spinach while the music was playing. Take a drink while the music...

Here, hold on. You messed it up. No, you messed it up. I don't want to drink the beer. Well, then don't play the Popeye song. You get on the scale and I'll drink the beer. If you weigh yourself on the scale, celebrate this episode.

Before the show, Dick was like, I got to bring up the Popeye theme for when I open my beer. It'll be a fun bit. Yeah, I didn't know you were going to shit all over it if I had it. Because I thought you were going to drink the beer. That's what Popeye does. He opens the can of spinach and he goes. Before I even got done listening to the song, you started fucking complaining about it.

Popeye doesn't open the can of spinach and then dumbly stare off into the distance while his theme song plays. He drinks the spinach. He actually does. He does do that. He just has little tiny eyes. You can't tell. He does stare off thinking about World War II. I can't believe you played the triumphant Popeye theme

to open a beer and set it down on the table next to you. I didn't want to spill, number one. Go get on the scale. I'll drink this beer. I'll drink this whole beer if you get on the scale. I'll drink the whole beer. I've never done that. No, you already fucked up the bit. I'll drink this whole beer if you get on the scale I'll drink the whole beer I've never done that No you already fucked up the bit I'll drink a whole

I'll drink a whole beer Wow I can't believe it I'll drink the whole beer Wow really I can't believe it That's worth I'll give you 20 bucks If you drink a whole beer dick If you get on the scale People want to see that more than they want to see me not drinking beer

I think if you play the Popeye theme to look at a beer again, we're never doing that bit. You have, it's not a good bit. You know what I heard in my mind?

What? I heard the Spice Girls. Candlelight and sulfur. And then you started screaming at me and I was like, what? What?

What do you mean staring? What year is this? Into the distance. Dick had a senior moment. Anyway, congratulations to Johnny Rocket, who will be working on a, I believe, unannounced comic for Ethan VanSkyver. Heliphant. Heliphant? Is he writing Heliphant?

Good. I mean, I don't know if I was supposed to say. No, they've been talking about Heliphant, so I don't know if that was the one he's writing. Isn't that amazing? Yes. It is amazing. He's got, he's fucking around and he's a very sharp and funny writer. And the most important thing is it's effortless. If you try hard to write, quit.

Right. But he just shits it out, and it's hilarious, and it's amazing. Sure. What do you mean, sure? I strongly believe that. If you have to try to do art, stop. I'm just trying to search for a hidden dig at me and my creative process somewhere in there. If you have to try to search for that, then stop, Vito.

It's not there. If you have to try to search for a hidden meaning in a simple set of three numbers that ascend in... Anyway, congratulations to Johnny, and also congratulations to Alex for decuckifying yourself. Hey! Da-da-da-da-da-da. At least lift it up. Oh, fuck off! I knew you would do that!

Popeye goes like a full 90 degrees. Whatever. Popeye doesn't gingerly sip the fucking can. Yeah, he squeezes it and it shoots out like cum and it goes in his fucking mouth and he opens like a pelican

okay Johnny Rocket what a fucking hero he's gonna be a big comic writer someday and he's gonna be like on a panel at like Comic Con

and he's like I remember the first fucking comic I remember the first comic I wrote it was this comic called I saw him there'd be like

three guys in the back going yeah go dick it is gonna be fun 20 years from now to see how this all What was the comic I wrote? It was this comic called I Saw Him. There'd be like three guys in the back going, yeah, go Dick. It is going to be fun 20 years from now to see how this all shakes out. I feel like we're, you know, it's like when Image Comics first came on the scene. There was all this energy and all this excitement. And I see some guys and they're going, oh, this drama is bad for comics.

I'm like, you're retarded. This is the best thing that's ever happened to comics. Because I have all these guys who go, hey, comics are gay, but I kind of want to read them now because you guys are fighting with this guy. I'm invested in it now more than ever. God fucking damn it. It's interesting to people. I think it was the same when Image showed up. People were like, I don't really read comics, but these guys

are sticking it to Marvel. I'll read it. And then Todd McFarlane started going on HBO and being like a fucking weirdo. Well, Todd McFarlane is a weirdo. And then he lost all his money to Tony Twist because he couldn't not call him a pedophile. Captain Shakespeare for two. I think Jordan Peterson and his daughter. Fuck.

That was in the movie. That was at the end of Ladybottle. He just kisses his daughter deeply on the mouth and we're all very disturbed by it. Let everyone know that's at the end of the movie. Adventure Tim for five. The only thing worse than low energy Vito is Dick cutting off

the show's wiener halfway through the episode by saying the show is no good. Great work. I said the problems were not good. The problems are not good.

Butts Cornuah for five. You got to keep those flash drives organized Vito. Yeah, don't accidentally plug your child porn into your work computer like Brian did. Like Brian Sol your work computer like Brian did.

Like Brian Solari. Like Super Brian did. James Gardner for five. Don't mess with Ricky, FBI, Al Bacore, or child porn. You will get a helmet. Deep Striker for two. Richard Mailer sends his regards with a picture of an eggplant and a chocolate. Aklovich for two. What it is is

veto's weight is what it is. Panic Pond for five I've always wondered what a Taurus steak And an Oddish salad would taste like A Pokemon might be tasty I don't know Koo for two Yiki X

Or sorry Yira X Ricky Retardo H. Dojin Wen Yeah when are we gonna get the first Isom hentai comic Oh wait there was Wait there's something I wanted to show you

Okay Now it reminds me. Good. I assume I'm going to hate it. Well, because it has the N-word. That's the show, folks. No, I can't show it because it has the N-word on it. Hey, someone gave you your Chuck Dixon thing.

Oh, yeah. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You're going gotta hit save Fucking stop talking to me while I'm trying to do this Alright, Popeye You made the mouth white though No, I don't know if you did

You idiot I think it is transparent That's just how it shows up on your browser Okay, okay, okay Don't talk to me while I'm trying to do this Okay You can talk, but just don't talk to me Guys, don't forget about

Talk about your fucking comic, like always Superkiller.org. Get yourself a comic. The comic's going great. Yeah, it's been going great for like a year and a half. Well, you know, good art takes time. Ethan took three years to make his fucking

Rainbow Bright comic. I can get an extra six months. You know what's crazy? Now I'm really invested in the Rainbow Bright comic. And then I was reading it, and I'm like really invested in Rainbow Brute. And then I was reading and I'm like, this is like really funny satire. Yeah. We should all be, you should make a dick. I'm more interested in that than anything else.

You're gonna make a comic, so just start figuring out what it is. You have to at this point. No, no, no. You should at least be an editor on someone else's comic. No, I don't want that. What do you mean no? I don't want, why do I want to be an editor on a comic? Because you can help make the dialogue better.

You can make the characters better. I think I'd argue with some fucking idiot. You don't get to argue with him. He doesn't listen to ideas. I listen to your ideas. And then I implement them into the comic and go, well, don't fucking do that. I go, all right, well, never mind. I went too far.

I went too far. Where is the? Oh, there he is. I think the changes I made... See, they put a rainbow thing on it. I didn't say do a rainbow. Well, there's no problem with that. I forgot what we were talking about.

We were talking about our good friend... See, look. Now it's all blizz... Like, messed up up there. Yeah. Because of the white. Well, they tried to cut out, like, him talking for some reason. Wow.

It's Chuck Dixon, the creator of Bane and writer of AlphaCore. Yes, yes, yes. We had Ricky in here, who's a character you've worked on. Oh, he's a wonderful character that I loved. I loved writing Ricky Retardo. Did you? Yeah. Wow.

He reminded me of Dean Cain, who's retarded. And then I found out he was just Chinese. Oh, yeah. Did you? Yeah. Wow. You reminded me of Dean Cain, who's retarded. And then I found out he was just Chinese. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, Chuck. Come on. Oh, come on. You shouldn't talk that way.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Dean Cain is a legendary actor. Sit down to the soft, sultry tones of Chuck Dixon. Dixon on or off? Definitely on, right? Chuck. You Chuck Dixon. Dixon or off, definitely on, right? Chuck.

You're a legendary. Definitely on. Hey, Vito, why did you hop on the scale today, huh? Chuck. What are you weighing? Chuck, I feel like we're crossing bits here. Why did you eyeball it? Why did you eyeball it for me, buddy?

Well, Chuck, I... Look, could you imagine... Look, Vito, just imagine if you opened up a comic book and it was Superman butt-fucking your dad. That's what I want you to imagine, and that's where comics are at right now, okay? Okay. Imagine a bunch of kids getting raped. No, I don't know if that's correct. Well, I mean, who wants to see that?

I don't. I mean, I also don't want to see that, but I don't think that's in the comics. And that's what DC could be putting out. You don't know. I don't think that's in the comics. And that's what DC could be putting out. You don't know. I don't know. I don't think DC Comics has children getting butt fucked. I have not seen any evidence of that. Well, you know, no one would know because no one buys them because it's a dying industry.

When I met Eric July, I thought to myself, now, this is the kind of black friend I've always wanted my whole life. Okay. Sure. Okay. Sure. Okay. Imagine if you opened a comic book. Yeah. And it's just a Klan rally. Okay.

An ad for a Klan rally. Right. Right in the middle. You're reading Superman and there's an ad. That would be jarring. That would be shocking, I think. It's at Arby's, three miles off the interstate, the I-95. Right.

There's a Klan rally going on. Sure. There's a free admission. If you bring a dead black guy, you get in for free. Jesus, Chuck. I'm out. No one wants that. Vito, no one wants that.

I don't want that. No one wants that. At the Ripaverse, we don't have that either. We don't have that. Let me, hold on. We don't have that. That's what I meant to say. I'm glad you don't have that. Why would you have that? Yeah, why would DC or Marvel have that let me hold on we don't have that that's what i meant to say i'm glad you don't have that

why would you have that yeah why would why would dc or marvel have that sure i don't know it seems like you're very excited to be working i love working i cross my eyes every day and hope that i i can keep this job forever i love it i can't believe that I didn't get more money on AlphaCore because Eric is dry humping my name every day because I'm the only reason his shitty company has any credibility. Oh, hold on, hold on. Vito, imagine that you're opening up a DC comic, okay? Okay. Okay.

DC comic book. Imagine that you're- What character might it be? Like the Flash? The Flash. The Flash. Yeah, the Flash. Flash comic book The Flash. Yeah, The Flash. The Flash comic book.

The Flash just says, I just butt-fucked every man on Earth. Right. Because I'm the fastest butt-fucker. I'm the fastest man and butt-fucker. Right. And then he comes in his own mouth. Yeah. Right, Vito?

Who would want that? I wouldn't want that. You wouldn't want that. I got to agree. I wouldn't want that. I know, I know. And you're a fucking weirdo. So no one would want that.

I would arrest him. I would arrest him. So so you're saying i would call the cops you'd arrest the i would say excuse me i would say 9-1-1 hey it's me chuck dixon yeah i mean you may you may remember me from uh my comic books uh one cop over the cuckoo. Oh, yeah. Bane, Bane, Bane. Batman. Bane, Bane, Bane, Bane. Nightfall. Bane, Bane. The famous storyline where Batman's back was broken. I wrote. Did I?

I think you wrote that. I wrote that? Yeah, I think you did. Wow, that was a good story. And now here I am telling more good stories about Superman uploading child pornography into the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier and then crashing it into Texas. You know, life is crazy.

Life's crazy like that. You know, life's crazy like that. Well, it seems like Eric's very happy with the work you've been putting in, and the future of the Repiverse looks very bright. Oh, very dark, you mean? Wow. No, that's a compliment because I'm saying it because it's a black-owned business so we say we eric made us listen to a whole powerpoint on what you're supposed to say

with a black-owned business okay yeah has eric been educating you on african-american culture then uh we it's called the edumacating us that's what he's been doing so the vernacular is that was funnier than i think I got a laugh on that one. Anyway, imagine that you're reading a comic, right? Imagine that you're reading a comic and it's a picture of you talking about all the gay thoughts that you yourself are

having. And then it's a... Right? That would be very strange. No one wants that. Chuck. Am I right or am I wrong? I'm right. I'm right there with you. You know, you and I may have a certain other comic professional. What do you mean?

Have you ever met a guy named Scott Adams? Uh-oh. You know what? Because we've had him on the show, and it seems like you guys have interesting takes on the black community and working for a black. Maybe he. Oh, Scott. Oh, no, Scott. Come on. he... Oh, Scott! Oh, no, Scott!

Come on! Oh, boy. Scott! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! So, your little comic empire's not working out for you, huh? I think the Riververse is going very well for Eric July. He's showing that a strong black man can...

You know what? I don't think Mars is far enough. I think we got to go to, like, Jupiter or something to get away can... You know what? I don't think Mars is far enough. I think we got to go to Jupiter or something to get away from... Scott, there's nothing... Come on. To get away from taxes, that's what I was going to say, Vito. That's what I was going to say. Look, I think there's a black-owned comic company. We should be very excited about it.

I mean, who do they steal it from, Vito? I don't think anybody stole it. Did anyone ask Glenn Beck? Glenn Beck, are you missing a comic book company over here? Alex Stein, Alex Stein, where did your dignity got stolen by somebody? Alex Stein, who stole your dignity? Brian Solari is an original character. Okay, there's a lot of original characters in the Reproverse.

You know who gave him the, did the, well, who even gave him that USB of the child porn? There's a lot of original characters in the Reproverse. Well, who even gave him that USB of the child porn? That's what I want to know. I keep coming back to this child pornography. I just don't think it's justified. Alright, I don't even know how long we were doing that. Doing what?

You left the show. And I had to talk to Scott Adams for some reason. Who paid how much for that whole bit it was like 20 minutes uh koof paid two dollars for that are you fucking kidding me no because you told them to make the chuck dixon uh head yeah but i forgot about it well i'm very glad that we got a visit. But don't you think that was a funny bit with Chuck Dixon where he's like, imagine that if you opened a comic book and it was like,

so that's not a comic book. What are you talking about bit? That was Chuck Dixon who visited the studio. See how well I'm selling it? Ricky Retardo was here. We had Scott. So many stars tonight. Stratergy for 10.

Trucks me. You may have fooled me last week, but you are definitely not getting my money this week. Confirmation bias. Thank you. Make sure you get that money. Sarah Gardner for five. Vito reminds me of a fatter bearded John Belushi when he takes his glasses off.

I have beady eyes. Oh, yeah. You do look like a fatter bearded John Belushi. Thanks. Jesus Christ. What is the most famous comedian in the whole history of the world? No, he's not. Belushi. Thanks. Jesus Christ. What is the most famous comedian in the whole history of the world? No, he's not. Belushi? Yeah. He's the famous

fattest comedian. John Belushi is one of the Blues Brothers. Yeah. One of the greatest comedians who ever lived. Sure. What do you mean, no, he's not? Sure. What, is he not pro-women enough for you? No, no, no. He fit his time period, right?

Oh, you're funnier than him I don't say I'm funnier than John Belushi You're acting like it No, I like Belushi Animal House does not really hold up Some of Animal House holds up Oh, but does the episode of Futurama Where they're making fun of Animal House, does that hold up?

I don't watch, you know I don't like Futurama Okay Clone High holds up. That's a good show. Jubb for five. Hey, y'all. I recently went to the gym and lifted weights for the first time. Vito, you can do it too. Why don't you be fair to yourself? Close. Right dude here

for two. Sup, Vito? Sup. Flample for five. That helmet was great. I'm sure Eric is foaming at the teeth at the opportunity to pack his warehouse full of them. Be better than the shitty t-shirts he put up. God, every t-shirt they had at that store looks like dog shit. Only retards wear Eric's merch. Yeah.

Like, as that heel versus baby face. He wears it all the time. He's a fat retard. Dude, I don't know what's wrong with that guy's brand. I'm like, look, man, you can suck Eric's dick without wearing his t-shirt every fucking day. Jesus Christ. You can just suck the tip of his cock. You don't have to lick his balls every time you do it.

As is gay. Braves Ryan for five. I quit the Proud Boys years ago. I can send you my old Proud Boys shirt if you want to use it for an Alpha Corps costume. Isn't it just that yellow popped collar thing? I don't know. I didn't know they had a uniform. Well, that's what I always say. The problem with any group is a group always leads to a uniform.

The second you're in a club and they say we got a cool uniform, that's the time to leave the club. Is this part of your type five? The Nazis were great. Then the uniform showed up. That's where it all went off the rails. Stop riffing on my type five, all right? Fuck you.

You're always talking about being a stand-up. I'm not going to be a stand-up. I can't do stand-up. What about a lay-down comic? I could be a lay-down comic. That would be pretty good. from Futurama. Jordan Cardell for 20 says,

fat. Okay. Clyde just spent 20 bucks on that. Shut lips for two. That's funny. David says he's breaking up with you. I don't know what that means. Pigfeeler for 10.

I've been thinking about that email Dick got about the guy whose wife wanted an open relationship. If this is a problem for you, just learn to be gay. She'll either hate it or you'll both get poon. There you go. Preston S for two. Love it. Vito short for Vito. Be fair.

That doesn't count. Brandon Temel for two. Peacock. I hear you laughing. Get on the mic. Shitlips for two. Highcock. Maddox put me on the top of the page, nerd. We're going to see if we can bring in a

microphone here. Johnny Rocket for five. Sorry, we have technical difficulties. Johnny Rocket for five says E. Jean Carroll said, this is the outfit I wore in 1984 when Trump graped me. The company said they released the outfit in 1985.

Ah, women. Forget when they got their clothes. What are you going to do? You're such a fucking asshole. Like that you would defend this dumb woman because you hate Trump so much. No, you're right. That's a betrayal of men.

You're right. I'm sorry. I apologize. Trump so much. That's a betrayal of men. You're right. I'm sorry. I apologize. Trump raped her. Very sad cat for five says imagine smoking a bowl of Vito's head gunk and drinking the bong water. Okay, hold it. The deep striker for five says

an imitation of Maddox. I'll even do the voice. This hate group does nothing but harass people. Maddox in 2004. So anyway, I sent Bill O'Reilly a bunch of tampons at his work's P.O. box. Oh yeah, no shit.

Okay, wait, hold on one second. One second. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay. Count to ten and we'll be right back. Ten. Okay, go. Testing. Testing. Testing. I hear him. There you go. Wow, I did that drunk. That's great. Good work.

Are we back? We are back. Yeah, we're back. Okay, keep reading. Brandon. Brandon. I'm here. Mr. Peacock's back. There have been some life changes. I think I'll be showing up. Not on camera, but... And it's always going to be Mr. Peacock now. Mr. Peacock. Thank you, Brandon. I missed you.

I choose to live my life as a gay man. I choose to live my life as a bird now. I didn't watch What's-His-Name's Christmas thing. Who? Spacey, his new one. I didn't watch that. I didn't watch it. Anyway, we love Mr. Peacock.

He's welcome anytime. Oh, I love you too. You add a little something to the show. You make my shit jokes land a little better. You don't have shit jokes, Vito. You have shit opinions. Yeah, I know. Oh, I thought you were saying poop jokes.

No, just jokes that suck. Because when you say shit jokes, it implies that some of them are good. How's that for your fucking riddle? The brilliance of that fucking bit. What if I played the Papa song and looked's great! And looked at a beer. Wouldn't the audience love that? Well, because I can't shoot it all in my mouth. You can do something. It's not nitrous.

You can do something with a little bit of gusto behind it. You just pop it. Not to mention this is a podcast. Nobody can see what you're doing anyway. That's like you with Lunchables after the show in your car. Or cat food. Hey, you leave them in the car for a couple hours, they just get better.

Let's see. The Deep Striker for five. We did that. Spider-Turtle for two. I got laid off today. You voted for this veto. FJB. You gotta read faster. There's way too many super chats. Okay. Reagan for two. So glad there's no guests. No, there isn't. Fuck you, Reagan. Shitlips for two.

I'm glad they got laughing Sean to guess Yes Shit lips for two Hey Neo No you Coup for five Speaking of robocalls Tell Dick about that Kiwi Farms guy

Who called you during your Pal World stream Yeah some guy just like called me In the middle of my stream And he went This is really This is really Vito Yeah He's like

Are you really a pedophile And I'm like I'm like Uh no He's like, oh, are you really a pedophile? And I'm like, no. He's like, oh. You're supposed to act this way around women, not men. It was pretty bad. LJ Claberino for two. How much money to sell out and praise Israel?

I can't believe that Null got his domain taken away for hosting child porn. I mean, that's what Epic said. It's not good. I read his response, and I'm like, I don't what Epic said. It's not good. I read his response, and I'm like, I don't know, man. That's not compelling. I mean, Null famously set up a discussion board so that pedophiles could trade tips and stories. No, that's, oof.

Wow. And he's been calling you a pedophile for years. Yeah. Wow, that's messed up, man. It's, uh. Hosting child pornography Wow Oof

And not having a Like some metadata or something He's just like Look, the picture The picture that could have been Photoshopped in the thing Says 2019 Oh, this sounds like

Natalia Speaks over here, buddy What's going on? I think Like how much of your How much of the child porn On your site It has little like pictures Of when the date's supposed to be? Yeah.

Woo! Wow! I think even Null was saying, you know, we gotta dial back. The child porn? I don't know what he meant specifically. I mean, does Null consider 17 child porn? That's all I want to know. You know what? And how much of it is there?

All I know is I don't... Is it zero or is it maybe not zero? That's all I want to know. You know what? And how much of it is there? All I know is I don't know. Is it zero or is it maybe not zero? That's all I want to know. Because Epic said it's not zero. We don't know. Epic said we don't know, man. Maybe it's child porn, maybe it's not. We're not being involved.

We don't want to host it. That's wild, man. That's crazy. You do you. We're not doing you. We don't want to be a part of it. U.S. government said that we're not doing you no more. Yeah.

Child pornography! Child pornography! Child pornography! I feel like this show has had more discussion of child pornography than any other show we've done. Because it's funny, because no one really cares about it. It's just something you hammer someone with. It's like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

Jordy's got child pornography. The Alpha Corps have child pornography. Null's got child pornography. But then Null takes it all serious. He's like, well, you know, it's a serious thing and I'm like a fucking retard and I'm gonna... It's a serious allegation. I'm gonna somehow stop

child pornography even though, like, I'm nobody and I've done nothing. I'm gonna stop it. Like, okay, man. It's very... It's...

Hosting child pornography! It's not good. Don't do that. Just fucking calm down, Null. Jesus Christ. The website doesn't matter. It's just good. Don't do that. Just fucking calm down, Noel. Jesus Christ. The website doesn't matter. It's just a bulletin board. Well, I think he's going to get a lot of donations, apparently. Riley's

killing it. Noel? Riley? Killing it. Noel? Getting kicked off the internet for child pornography. I think Noel should do something fun, you know? It seems like he doesn't have any fun. Ralph. Fun. Tons of fun. Noel has fun doing his little show, though, right? I think so.

All right. So just do that. Just do that. Call everybody a pedophile. It makes you feel good. PSI Chris for five. Swift. I'm just kidding, everyone.

Sure. There you go. Don't say sure. I am. I'm just joking. Just joking around. Jeez. It's funny.

Yeah. No one believes Epic. I don just joking. Just joking around. Jeez. It's funny. Yeah. No one believes Epic. I don't know. No one thinks that's child pornography. It's obviously a 19-year-old child pornographer. They're hosting a porn of. I just, look. That's totally fine.

I don't want to look into it because I don't want to know I know this I'll screenshot from epic and they said here's what's on the site. I went well that doesn't look good Probably shouldn't have that on there child board. Uh why is it? I don't know what? What's this it's not child porn, what is it? What is it exactly? I mean, it's just like a Why you gotta... What's this? It's not child porn. What is it? What is it exactly?

I mean, it's just like a... She's a 19-year-old kid. Revenge porn. Yeah, it's just revenge porn. Normal revenge porn of teenagers. How about you use a child pornographer? Teenage revenge porn. That's about the board, right?

He's got... I don't know. I think it's not. Did you say 29? No, 19. Right. Okay. Huh.

What's the age consent? 18. No. Oh, well, you got us there. No, thanks. She has an open and shut defamation case, and I think you should pursue it. Do it. Yes, I will contribute to that.

I'll contribute to that. I want to know how it pans out. And you know you deserve your day in court. Don't be defamed like this. Take it to the law. Don't take it to the legal streets. Make sure everyone calls them. Hey everyone, call these

customer service guys. Oh yeah, call them on their phone. That'll really razz them. Tell them teenage revenge porn is really cool. Tell them Two-Face sent you. I'd like to point out that it serves a valuable public culture. Hey, I just called Vito.

I called Vito on a stream. I just wanted to say, uh... Well, the worst part about the stream was I went... Christian, Christian, Christian, Christian. That's awesome, man. He's like, why do you say this stuff? And I'm like, because it's funny. And he said, well, it is funny,

but you're not supposed to say it. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Blow your brains out. I hate that. I hate the, it was, what do you call it? It was, what's his name's problem? Bo Black's. Yeah.

Pretending jokes aren't funny. I like that guy. He's a good guy. Coup for two. The next voted up should be a Taylor Swift song. Yes. With Zayn for 10. Gonna vote it up.

Yeah. There's a million of them. With Zayn for 10. Gonna vote it up. Yeah. There's a million of them. With Zayn for 10. Love the show. Good start to the weekend. Have a great weekend, guys. Yeah. Sarah Gardier for two.

Kanye did nothing wrong. Don't post any child pornography on Kiwi Farms, which I heard from Epic that's happening. Just trying to get off that top. Why? Who cares? None of this shit matters, man. I don't care. None of this matters. I know

none of this matters. No, it doesn't matter. All these fucking goofballs calling you don't matter. I know. I'm just saying we're gonna do it for a million years. Like, it's gonna go on forever. At a certain point we have to end the show. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, okay, okay. Sorry, sorry. It's not a matter of, like, I don't want to talk about it. You're right, you're right.

It's a matter of 230. Sorry. Go, go, go. Alright. Shit Lips for five. Jihad on Taylor Swift. Johnny Rockets for five to talk about it. You're right. It's a matter of two. You're right. 230. Sorry. Go, go, go. All right. Shit Lips for five. Jihad on Taylor Swift. Johnny Rockets for five. Super Killer versus Yaqob. That is the black creator of the white people. That one is free. You got to kill Yaqob.

I'm going to kill Yaqob. He's got a big head. Well, shoot him with that gun. Maybe that'll do. Might take two shots. C Villa for five. Vito is so fat that the left lens of his glass constantly gets steamy. I cannot unsee it.

It's all I look at when I watch the show. I shouldn't have even read it because now everyone's going to look at it. Shit Lips are already looking at it, man. You got your fucking glasses get all steamed as fuck. It's not because I'm fat. It's because that fucking air conditioner blows on it the whole show. The air conditioner's on because you're fat. It's not on because I'm fat.

It's because it's an air conditioner. It's on because I'm fat. Yeah, exactly. Shit Lips for two. I like musicals. I like show tunes. Cool clip, Vito. It's because it's an air conditioner. It's on because I'm fat. Yeah, exactly. She lips for two. I like musicals. I like show tunes. Cool clip, Vito. I do like musicals and show tunes.

I was in a musical in high school. 10 gay homos? Yeah, I was in the famous Broadway. I was in a local town production of 10 gay homos. Oh, yeah. Cole Porter wrote that one. It's like 10 angry men, but they're going through the evidence and they go, hey, do you guys want to fuck? And then it's just two hours of that.

It's a shitty one. It's called Urinetown. You ever heard of that one? Urinetown? Like you're in town for the weekend? No, that's the joke, is that it sounds like that, but it's spelled like pee-pee. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. It's about a town where you have to pay to use the bathroom. Oh, that's funny. Yeah.

How much do you have to pay? It's like a class parable of poor people fighting against the rich. It's not explained. It ruins it. How much do you have to pay to use the bathroom? I don't remember. Like a nickel a wee. Something like that. Like a 1950s fat cat. Oh, that's not funny.

Yeah, it wasn't that funny. It should be like 10 grand. I wanted to play the cop because I was a fat kid. They made me play the ruthless industrialist. Did you have suspenders and stuff? Yeah, it was the whole thing. What was your lines? I don't know.

It was like a lot of shit. No, you remember. What was your lines? I don't remember my lines. Yeah, you do. I remember one. I said, hey, I'm looking for a place to piss over. You do?

I don't even remember the name of the character. Was it Mr. Cladwell, I think? You think? I think. What did he say? I said, Mr. Cladwell. Surely you could spare a nickel so I could pee. I remember being like, this show sucks, but we did good.

It was fun. I wish I had a tape of it. Why? You can't even remember a line. Well, that's the thing. I fucked up one of my songs one night, and that was the night they recorded, and I went, fuck. I saved it. How bad did you fuck it up?

It was one of those things where I was like, I love money, and you keep, I love child pornography. Oh, no. Oh, shit. And then I peed all over myself too early. You're supposed to do that at the end of the show. That's just a shitty fucking museum. And then I didn't even get laid.

I was trying to bang the other fat chick in the drama department. Other fat chick? I'm sorry, the other fat person. Oh. Yeah, the one fat chick. Who was she trying to bang? I don't know, just some spry young buck.

Fuck. The fat girls in the drama department, they do well for themselves. Why? I don't know, because the nerdy guys will just... But they're gay. Well, yeah, there's a lot of gay guys, but the one straight guy will just scoop up all the pussy. All the fat pussy?

Fat pussy, skinny pussy, they're getting all the pussy. Gross. They don't leave anything for the other guys. Are you the other guys? I was the other guys in the situation. Man, you gotta change that perception. I did alright for myself. I got a girlfriend that same year.

It's even worse. From bad to worse. And I put on an episode of Pete and Pete to drown out so my mom wouldn't hear. You fucked a woman to Pete and Pete. I lost my virginity to an episode of Pete and Pete. Which one? With Artie? I wish I remembered which episode. Nah, it was with and Pete. Which one? With Artie? I wish I remembered which episode.

No, it was with Artie. All of them have Artie. Just say that. No, they don't all have Artie. Artie was in most of the first and second season until he left the show. I don't think so. Artie was like a recurring character. He was in the opening crawl.

He wasn't in every episode. Artie was in every episode of like the first and second season. I'm a Pete and Pete diehard. Yeah, clearly. You're fucking Virginia. And I saw on Twitter that Chrissy Mara, what's Frank Pellegrino? Yeah. He made Chrissy Mara watch Pete and Pete, and she said it sucked.

Did he knock her up to Pete and Pete? I don't know. He should have. But I was like, Frank, I'm there with you. These bitches don't get it. That's a great show. I love Pete and Pete. It probably sucks, though.

No. Well, then why didn't it get rebooted? It's for kids. They're all old and fat and bald now. It's creepy. JJ for two says, Taylor Swift wouldn't date Russell Greer. True.

I checked out Hasbin Hotel. All the characters are gay and suffering in hell. Why would conservatives hate this show? That's a very good point. Great question. And it's just a bunch of gay kids burning forever in the pit of hell. Because they don't get any money out of it. And they got to dance and sing. I kind of want to watch it, but I am really turned off by the art style.

It's too much of that art school. The women are skinny. I noticed that. Yeah, but it's that like art kid thing where it's like you ever read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and watch every Tim Burton movie and it's like, yeah, I know.

I don't care. You ever watch every episode of Invader Zim on loop? Yeah, I'll just go watch that instead of this. LJ Clabarino for five says, willkiller have any LGBTQ plus Representation answer carefully I have asked myself that question

As well What if you self answer the question of Well there's a big spoiler if I give an answer So I can't So yes Superkiller's gay No that's not what I said It's not the spoiler. Obviously I've confirmed it.

Obviously Super Killer's gay. That's the fucking spoiler. He's not gay. Because you're not a good liar. He's not gay. Super Killer is gay. This is not correct. You're incorrect.

Is that what it's a metaphor for? He's trying to kill his own gayness? No. And then like quantum leap, when he comes to terms with gayness, he gets to leap back home? No, but sex is handled- That's the book. Sex is handled-

So there's certain limitations. He can't fuck anyone? We'll see. He can only fuck guys. He can only fuck guys to recharge his gun. That's what it is. You nailed it. But he can't cum.

Wait, does he fuck them to death? He has to fuck- Yeah. After he kills a guy, he has to fuck his butt recharge his gun. That's what it is. You nailed it. But he can't cum. Wait, does he fuck them to death? He has to fuck. Yeah. After he kills a guy, he has to fuck his butt until his gun recharges. That's the show. Comic sucks. Well, you already paid for it and you're not getting a refund. The Goose for 10.

This is the best episode. Shit Lips for five. You know, it's going to trial. Thanks for the legal advice. I hope you're pulling for me. Good. Me for. I like this guy, Shit Lips.

He's a good guy. I mean, he keeps giving us money. I must love him. Me for one, two, pulling for me. Good. Me. I like this guy. Shit lips. He's a good guy. I mean, he keeps giving us money. I must love him. Me. 4-1-2-0 for 10. Taylor Swift could have negotiated for the release of Coach Red Pill from Ukrainian prison. That would have been real charity. It happens to be.

You almost got me. It happens to be quite callous of her to leave him hanging like that. Yeah. Almost got me. Melissa Baker for 5. Vito, watch the beekeeper to see Jason Statham absolutely destroy fraudulent call centers, live vicariously. I do.

Why do you have so many joke women super chatters? I think they're actual women. People making women names and doing joke super chats. Women watch this show for some strange reason. Something's wrong with them. With their whole real name and no picture. Yeah, but no woman ever went to see The Beekeeper with Jason Statham. That's a good point.

Yeah, really. That's a good point. What woman went to see The Beekeeper? Beginning and an end to the story. Maybe her boyfriend made her go. Are we getting catfished like Nick Ricada? I think we're okay. Pig filler for five.

Do the bet from the ending scene from Four Rooms, but instead of lighting the lighter ten times, Vito has to have ten perfect snaps or he loses his thumb. No, because once you do one, you can do it over and over and over. But you have a bad snap finger. I do. Do the other one. See?

Ha-ha! Thud! Thud! You got a thud! Yeah, you got a good point. You got a thud. Four Rooms. Dean Shock for 20.

Another banger, boys. Chuck's letter at the end of Alpha Corps belies his own confirmation bias. Optimistic stories, fun breaks from reality, and all with a reliable creator at the helm. For fuck's sake. His view hinges on a check sent on time. Yeah, Chuck's letter at the end of Alpha Corps says, Well, at least I got paid. At least Eric pays me on time.

Shit lips for two. Soup Snapchats of not tits. 40 for five. Vito, if you got on a treadmill, you'd be in the front of the queue. Ride Dog for five. Best episode since last week. Johnny Rockets for five. Money doesn't make my dick wet, he said to his enemy.

Dick, who is now much richer than him. Much, much richer than him. Good, I hope your dick's wet. Pigeon for five says, dig them at night. I thought there might be some sort of... We got a whole bunch of fucking more Super Chads. Oh, shut up. We're almost done.

Oh, there's a $50 one. Well, I'm going to read it. I read them in order. And it actually happens to be the next one. Damien, three, two, ten for 50 pounds. You had to think about that? Because you were going to say euros? Yeah, because I get euros and pounds mixed up.

How? It's an E. That's an L that's been around your whole life. The euro is new. Okay. 50 pounds. Because it says GBP. So Great British Pound.

Yeah. In my head, it sounds like GDP, like gross domestic product. And then I get all mixed up. Euro? Because you're so liberal. Like you see here GDP and you're like, oh, the Euro. Yeah, we have to all be on the Euro. There you go. That's probably what's fucking up.

You should have 100 states. The Great British Pound. As many Somalians as we can fit. 50 of them from Damien. Says, I'm sorry for calling you fat last week, Vito. I felt bad after. Wow. Thanks, Damien. Fuck you, Damien. Hey, I'm sorry for calling you fat last week, Vito. I felt bad after. Wow. Thanks, Damien.

Fuck you, Damien. Hey, fuck you. You gave me 50 bucks. And you get half of it for some reason. 70 bucks. That was directed at me. It probably is 70 bucks, actually. Well, thank you, Damien, and enjoy your life.

Enjoy your life of being gay. Free of having to rule over the Indians and their call centers. Just let them do what they want. Not your problem anymore. Utah-based Armenian for five. Hey, Vito, what's the next number in this sequence? 278.5, 294, 302.7, 299.2. Next number in that sequence is kill yourself.

G.J. for 20 Australian dollars. Scale, scale, scale, scale, scale, scale, scale, scale. On the John for five Canadians. Scale, scale. Scale. Scale. Scale. Scale. Scale. On the John for five Canadians. Scale. Scale. Scale. Scale. We're going to figure out a way to do the scales. Not every episode. Because you have to control your addiction. You have to send me gifts.

And the gifts have to be good. I'm hoarding them all. People are going to send me toys that you can only dream of. And I'm going to be like fucking Santa Claus and only give you a toy if you're being good. Are they better than a metal Pac-Man? Oh, yeah. This will look like dog shit. Don't shit-talk metal Pac-Man.

That's the best thing I ever gave you. If you fuck with it, I might make you weigh yourself five or six times for the toy, if it's an especially good toy. Or else I'll destroy it. I can't believe I didn't... It's because you invited me to lunch with that guy that I thought of this.

Oh yeah, we did go to lunch. We went, we got prime rib, and that was good. And that guy said, hey, what if I sent something to the show, and Vito doesn't get it? He said, send it to you because I don't care about that shit. And I said, wait a minute,

send it to me. Wait, send it to me. So he gets on the scale and I'll give it to him and he goes, that's awesome. I said, it is awesome. You guys are idiots. And now people are,

instead of giving us 400 bucks, they're going to buy like fucking Final Fantasy. Send a box of magic cards. Fucking Cracker Jacks or whatever. Send a box of,

send me a Sarah's Sanctum because I don't want to pay 200 bucks for it. Maybe you have to weigh yourself like 10 times to get that. Maybe we'll have you a little chart for you. No, no, no. Like a Weight Watchers. And if you don't get under 290, I'll burn it. I'll have a whole fucking grab bag like the dentist.

Where you can pick a prize. The toy chest. You can pick one prize. The toy chest. Yeah. Yeah. Where you could pick a prize. The toy chest? You could pick one prize.

The toy chest? Yeah. If you don't get under 290, I will light this fucking magic shit on fire. I don't know about this bit. This is a dark bit. I don't want to burn things people send to the show. Well, then lose weight. I am losing weight.

It's easy. You're right. I should keep losing weight, and then there's no problem. Keep. Keep. Oh, you're talking about like the keep losing weight, and then there's no problem. Keep. Keep. Oh, you're talking about like the evergreen fucking tanker in the Suez Canal. On the John for five. Hey, Ricky Ritardo, what's your opinion on eating butthole, and what about those who

refuse to admit they like it? God damn it. That's another guy who's going to get a job from this show. I know. We're making everybody rich. Jarby Jimson for five. Have you guys considered streaming with EBS on one of his Trash Case comic reviews, yes. No, I don't belong on those shows.

Well, it would be, it would have to be a special event. Shit Lips for two. Sorry, guys, I'm autistic. Also old theme. Well, that's a vote for the old theme. Pig Feeler for two. Vito, stop being autistic about the beer stinger. Come on, he's got to drink the beer.

Wow, Popeye makes the music happen. Coup for five. You can't blame Dick for staring blankly at his beer. He's never been quite the same since that fateful day at Netflix HQ. I want to bring up the Los Angeles Times fired what half their news department, and I think they fired the lady who refused to interview me unless I gave her my pronouns. So that's funny. She's sucking dick under the overpass now.

Yeah, good. Bob McGumper for 10 says, TBF, Vito adjusts his shirt every time the scale is mentioned. I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone watch him now. Every time we talk about the scale, he's going to pull it his shade. Synapse for five, Australian. Is AUD Australian?

It's not ASD. Man, this dude in the background is having a fucking blast, and it's cracking me up. Everyone loves it. Mr. Peacock. Two cocks calzini for five. Hey, guys, isn't it funny that Vito hates Funko Pops for looking alike and then releases a series of plushies that all look alike.

Blow. My plushies do not look alike. No, they do, though. No, that's true. No, they have different- Your super killer plushies just look like Funko Pops but are stuffed animals. No, they have a similar theme so they go together. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Superkiller.scam. What's the... Dot org. Oh, org. Okay. Dot scam. Where's the plushies of your toys? Click on the Indiegogo link at the top. This looks like a pro...

This does not look like a site that will rip you off for like a year and a half. Yeah, I know, okay? The website needs to be fixed, okay? No, it does. It does not look like what happened. Oh, it looks good. Well, it doesn't look like it would rip you off. This is not a rip off, okay? Everything's going fine. Play your fucking Popeye song again, why don't you?

Hold on. I'm a little hold up my beer. I'm concentrating. And lightly open it on camera. That'll be thrilling for the audience. They're going to enjoy watching me open the top of a beer. They wish they were drinking. Okay, where's your Funko Pops? They're not Funko Pops.

Whose fingers are these? It's a screenshot of somebody else. It's like an old penis. It's a stock photo. What do you want? Wait a minute. You took a stock photo of a man's thumb? Yes.

That's weird. Go back down. Vito, did you put your head on someone else's body there? Yes, that's another stock photo. Yeah, that I could see. This, this, this. So this is... Those are cool. All right, there.

They look a little different now. His face is less... They look like Funko Pops, though. They don't look like Funko Pops. They look like stuffed Funko Pops. No, they don't. What do you mean? How do they not?

Because Funko Pops have those dead fucking eyes. They look stupid. There's nothing to them. Look at this. Big head, little body. This one, they actually have an expression, okay? There's details that them. Look at this. Big head. Little body. They actually have an expression. Okay? There's like details that match the comic.

Like because it's like an eyebrow? Like... Well, yeah. I don't even think the pop figures... I don't know if they do have eyebrows. I don't think... Well, no. Maybe they do. All right.

They look cool. You could fleshlight these though, right? Sure. Do whatever feels right. I don't care anymore. None of this matters. Hey, Vito. Your comic's gay and the dolls are gay. And you're gay and I hope you die.

It should have been out in December. And you're fat and you're lazy and I hate you. Great show, though. I like the show, but I want you to die. Why don't you get on the scale? Why don't you get on the scale, you fat piece of shit? Thanks for the show. How much to get on the scale?

That was a great episode, except for when Vito was fat and gay and a retard. How much to get on the scale? Fuck the scale. I'll do the scale some other fucking... We gotta end this fucking episode. It's always next week. It's always next week. It's always next week.

How much? How much? $10,000. Fried onions and garlic. I think we could get it for less. I want a guy's cradle. $700. $700.

$700. Nah, that's too much. That's too much. Okay, send me, somebody send me a Guy's Cradle, and if Vito gets on the scale 12 times, I'll give it to him. 12 times to get a Guy's Cradle? If you don't do it every week, I'll burn it.

I'll fucking burn it. I'll burn it on camera. No one send Dick a Guy's Cradle to burn. That is ridiculous. I'll burn it. Don't burn it. I will fucking burn it unless you get on the scale.

Just get on the scale, Vito. I'll fucking burn it. You won't burn it if you do that. Send me a guy's cradle, and I will fucking burn it in front of him. Now the whole magic community is going to hate me because they're going to go, hey, did you hear about that fat guy who wouldn't get on the scale, and he burned a fucking rare magic card? It took us a couple weeks to figure out what to do, but we figured it out.

There's a bit somewhere in there. Fried onions and garlic for seven suns. Not a bit. I'm going to burn it. I will fucking burn it. Do whatever feels right, Mr. Masterson. Says, where's my trucker cap? I'll put it in the store.

You missed one. I'll have the trucker cap. Did I miss one? No, these are the Funko Pops. We got it. Koof for two. Thank you, Mr. Peacock, for not killing yourself. Thank you, Koof. Brandon Temble for 20. He says, welcome back, Mr. Peacock. Thanks, for two. Thank you, Mr. Peacock, for not killing yourself. Thank you, Koof. Brandon

Temmel for 20. He says, welcome back, Mr. Peacock. Thanks, Brandon. I love you, too. Sam for five. Hey, Dick, I got an H back because of you and Sean talking about getting into trades. Thanks, man. Good. Roxanne Kaiser for five. Power World might be shovelware, but you gotta hand it to them for giving Shmelden Ring and

Shmelder's Gate some competition. It's another fake woman's name. Roxanne? Well, what are you going to do? JJ for two. Crimson will get a job. Aklovich for five. Mathematic transitive property. Vito is gay. Vito made Super Killer. Super Killer is gay.

Guy's Cradle. I'm going to get a Guy's Cradle probably tomorrow. Make it a Black Lotus. Then I'll get on the scale. Oh, you will never get a black lotus. I'll never give that to you. Aklovich for two. Vito has weighed in gross domestic pounds. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. Michael winning for five. I will send you guys the finest of gifts. And Two Socks Calzini for two. Vito has a pleasure in himself. Guys, thanks for coming by the show. I want to thank Mr. Peacock for providing some lively background noise. Thanks for the great show, guys.

Absolutely. Don't forget. I can't believe Noel's hosting child porn. Well, what do you do? Oh, my God. He's a lonely boy in Kazakhstan. I don't know. What's child porn?

16? 8? 17? I have no opinion on any of this. 5? What is Noel thinking? Child porn? Oh, I can't believe it.

Maybe just don't post naked pictures of teenagers and you don't get worried about it. I can't wait to hear him take it so serious. Oh, here's... Oh, here's Nick and me. Oh, Sonny. All right, Sonny's. People are already saying they're going to cite us in the lawsuit. They're going to cite us as...

For what? That Epic has ruined his reputation because then people like us can say... I think Null's a pedophile because Epic said that Null's hosting child porn, and so I was going to do a big million dollar deal with Null. I was going to hire him to host my nuts. To host these nuts. That was torturous interference, what they did. He's tortiously interfering with my cock

Guys don't forget You can listen to all the bonus episodes At patreon.com slash biggest problem Fuck I wasn't recording And also You know someone's gonna send me a guy's cradle And I will burn it in front of you I will burn it

Please don't Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show I'll smudge it all up too Don't fuck with that car I the problems at biggestproblem.show. I'll smudge it all up, too. All our top support. Don't fuck with that card. That is a piece of history. I'm going to take it out of the sleeve. If you don't get it right away,

I'll take it out of the sleeve. That is a piece of history, that card. Just shuffle it. I'll shuffle that shit. I'll scratch it all up. Something's wrong with you people. What a great show, guys. Super Killer is available at superkiller.org.

Check out the Dick Show at dick.show. Get all your Biggest Problem merchandise at killdozer.industries, and I will make sure... Unless you're an XL. Unless you're an XL. Then you can't get anything I'm going to put up regular black t-shirts I could change which

Just wait. Just call them and say, why don't you guys get your act together Get XLs They're a big company. I'm sure they're waiting on a shipment or something We will find a way to get black Truxme shirts in the store. Alright, goodbye everyone.

Oh, I quit the show. There we go. I'm going to play this while I'm burning your guy's cradle. I hope you do. I don't even care anymore. I'm going to play like sand, candlelight, and soul forever. Dream of you and me together.

I'm going to hold it until it burns all the way down. Yeah, well. All right, goodbye. Have fun, guys.