The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 128

Episode Date: February 17, 2024

That sucks. I don't know. Yeah, but it was like a situation where it's literally just like, I read that and I'm like, I feel like Vic should sue his lawyer for fucking him over and losing. He had to pay like $300,000. I know. That's a mouthful. I would just kill myself at that point.

That's all my money plus some. What about all your stocks, though? You could stock your way out of it. I'd have to sell all my video games and toys. Yeah, you neglected dimension with all your stockery that you were down as much as you were. Yeah, but now I'm not. Well, yeah, but do you see my slow and steady VOO is up.

Look, I came in and I didn't do anything and get worried about it or anything. No, Stock Tip Vito is very bad at stocks, but now he's good at stocks. That's the last thing I want. That's the last lesson I want you to have learned. I learned exactly what I'm supposed to do. What was the lesson that you learned from being down so much? Just hold.

Hold. Hold through everything. Hold was the lesson? Yeah. I hope not. I should have held Facebook. I should have held Netflix. You sold Facebook? I sold a bunch of stuff because it was tank lesson? Yeah. I hope not. I should have held Facebook. I should have held Netflix. You sold Facebook? I sold a bunch of stuff because it was tanking so hard. I thought it was the end of the fucking world. It made sense.

How does it make sense? It made sense. The end of the world. Netflix should not be at the valuation it's at right now. Why? Well, okay, the only reason they are, I think, is because they're the only streaming service that survived. Everybody else's streaming service is going to zero.

Okay, so why shouldn't they be on top? You're right. No, now, like, nobody, I mean, let's put it this way. I'm not the only guy who's sold Netflix. Fucking Bill Ackman, you know that guy? He's like the famous stock Pershing Square guy. He's the one who got the Harvard president fired. He's been railing against her.

Oh, okay. That's cool. I like him. I like him already. So his firm bought like a billion dollars in Netflix right before it crashed, and they sold it all at the bottom. Yeah. And even he said, he's like, well, just the outlook is unclear.

So hey, me and billionaires make the same mistakes. You're the last person that should be doing stocks With that attitude Well the billionaires lost a bunch of money And so did I So nobody could have seen it coming Alright let me transition it I recorded all that That's definitely all going in the

MP3 I'm just looking for Talking about my stock journey. I'm looking for the fucking stop tip veto. Oh, you don't know what it is. No, stock tip veto. Where the fuck is it? The point-

Search bar doesn't work, of course. Of course not. Did I bring that in already? Oh, yeah, edge. That's what I want. Bing. I always go to this little search bar to find fucking Bing shit. Why don't you organize things into folders, like audio clips?

Look, look. What do you call these, shithead? You're just, every time I struggle to do something for one second, it's, why don't you do this? Why don't you just unplug it and plug it back in again? It's fucking infuriating. Sort by name. It already is sorted by name.

That's what the little arrow means on the top. So why do you not have stocktipveto.mp3? That's what you should call it. Bro, I should put it all in a fucking flat folder and put everything in the same folder? Are you nuts? Why don't you make a folder called Audio Stingers? It is, but I don't know where it is. Is this one that says Stream Deck?

No, that's pictures for some reason. So that's pictures in your Stream Deck folder. I don't know why that is that. Is it under audio, perhaps? That would make sense. There, I found it in two seconds. Oh, nice job playing it. Nice job clicking on something else.

That's what it's like with you. Stock tip veto. Day trader veto. Always with the hot stock tip. That's what I needed. Thank you. The point is that, though I have made some bad stock plays. Billionaires have, too.

Billionaires have, as well. And also, anyone who's been paying attention to my stock tips that I've been giving. They lost a bunch of money too. No, they're getting rich. What are you talking about? They're crawling out of the hole. They're crawling out of the hole. I'm crawling out of the hole. Maybe they're not in a hole.

If you started now and you're using my stock tips. Anyone who's listening to you for stock tips was in a deeper hole than you. It's quite possible. I mean, understand that part too. They went through and they're like,

God, I'm fucked. Vito's always lying about how much money he's making in the stock market on Twitter. Maybe I'll do what he says. Well,

I'm... Next they're buying fucking glue or medicine or whatever. Just because I was down doesn't mean I'm not making money now.

Like, I'm making money from where I was. It means you're going to be down a shitload of money. Let me predict it. If you keep day trading, if you keep day trading,

in 10 years, you're going to be down 90% of your money. I'm not. Okay? And I'm going to be up 7% every year for the rest of my fucking life

because all I do is put it in. I had a consultant. You just hit a certain age and they're like, hey, I'm your like guy that they assigned to sell you on our bullshit products that like cost a shitload and don't make

more than the index what do you want to do? And I said index only, and he goes okay, well you know, I mean that's index only, he goes well we got this one, I said index only, he goes well you can have this account the account over here and just have a little play money and I said hey dude, I don't are you a fucking wealth manager and you're telling me

to play around with money? Okay, hold on. But you are playing around because you have a bunch of Bitcoin and what do you call it? Playing around? I got a lot of Bitcoin. You got a lot of Bitcoin? No, no, no, no, no.

You got a lot from a certain individual. That's not playing around, though. That's new technology. Yeah, that's what I'm investing in, new technology. You're investing in hymns. How's erections new technology? Getting autistic kids the drugs they want without them having to visit a doctor. Is that me?

Is there no audio? Hold on, hold on. Test one. Hello? Hello? Test one. New technology. Yeah, there is. All right. Who's calling you? I don't know. I've been getting? Hello? Test one. Here is technology. Yeah, there is. Alright.

Who's calling you? I don't know. I've been getting a ton of spam calls. AI! AI! Oh, what now? What about AI now? I mean, if you're not buying AI stock, what are you doing? You haven't bought any AI stock? Microsoft's in the index fund.

I know. That's fine. So if you buy index funds, you will benefit. Do I need more AI? Yeah. We the index fund. I know, that's fine. So if you buy index funds you will benefit. Do I need more AI? Yeah, well. You're so impatient. I am impatient. You saw that thing I posted? You're like, ah, ah, where's the pussy? Where's the pussy? Where's the pussy at? I gotta find it. All I'm saying is did you see that news article all the

different AI companies and videos have been investing in? Who cares? I care. Did you see the AI? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Did you see the- Shut the fuck up. Did you see the fucking AI videos? I know you did. Why are you rolling your eyes? That's the future of

everything. That was gonna be my problem. Maybe I'll just do that one. AI evangelist. Alright. It's guys who are like, oh wow a computer made a computer turned words into like a threeminute shitty gif of video. Shitty? Are you kidding me?

That's like the dogs in the snow. I'm like, well, we're just... I've never seen dogs in the snow before. Oh, wow. I wanted to... I saw that video. Are you kidding? Dogs in the snow?

Where can I get that? I saw that AI video of dogs playing in the snow. And you shit yourself. I felt very close. I was like, if I was going to kill myself, this is the video I would be watching when I did it. Jesus Christ. Because I saw that and I went, there is no artistry left. Everything you know will be falsified.

What are you? God's what are you gods their name are you talk ai existentialist that's my problem sure existential i don't i'm there's no one yeah well now i simulation theory is real oh because you're too much of a pussy to believe in god so you believe you want to believe in a computer i don't want to believe i'm terrified of it it's the worst thing that's ever happened. Actually, that's still too much of a pussy, though. Yeah, I'm a huge pussy. Life is horrifying. If you're afraid, you need to accept Jesus Christ.

There's nothing. Rather than computer machines and the Matrix like Andrew Tate. There is nothing more horrifying to me that the idea of a cute animal playing one of the most pure experiences. Just that experience why a computer can just replicate it and shit it out What the fuck are you talking about? Why fuck you ever like you want a cute animal doing shit? I could go down what time is it I could go down tonight adopt a dog Do it in the snow and then shoot it in the fucking head What's the big fucking deal bitch the fact that that could be just replicated by a computer prompt this unfeeling no there's no and it's not even like cg where like a human being is contributing some level of artistry to it it's just show me show me

a beautiful field of flowers show me a picture of my father smiling that's called a book that's what you guys you nerds are all losing your mind and pretending like it's the end of the world. Oh, my creativity is being challenged by this thing. What you're describing is a fucking book. It's a bunch of words that makes an image happen.

But a computer, instead of just reading the prompt, oh, it's a bunch of puppies playing in the snow. Oh, a bunch of puppies playing in the snow. Computer's like, like this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know. I know what a bunch of puppies playing in snow oh a bunch of puppies playing the snow computer's like like this like yeah yeah i know i know what a bunch of puppies playing in the snow is i don't need you to and you to use like 60 fucking billion dollars of shit to show me what that is i see it i'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought on this topic but none of you are good at making stuff with it so who cares i don't need to be good at it because you know what my kids will be like hey dad what'd you do when you were uh

when you were young and i'll go oh here's a video of me winning the olympics and they're gonna go is that real and i'll go it's all real no they're not gonna they're not gonna ask that you're and what you're you're a computer will be showing you this scene Of fake children Asking you We could nuke Russia off the map And then people would go What used to be there And we can go well it was a country called

June blue and it was populated by the green people And here's an endless repository Of video and whatever We can just invent history now We already fucking do that Why are you guys so impressed by this shit? We already do all this stuff. That's what annoys me about it.

Everything you guys have is like, yeah, we already have fake. It's all fake news. Man, you're the problem this week. Remember COVID? You're the problem. Oh, guys on the floor. Where's that? What was that?

Did an AI do that? This is like a Philip K. Dick style nightmare. This is the guy. A book. Also a book. Also a book. Okay. You need to actually be good at writing to use this stuff. This is the guy who treasured his antique revolver.

And he kept it with him for 30 years. And one day he brings it to the pawn shop and the guy goes, it's actually a very well-made replica. It has no historical significance. You've been carrying around a lie. And that spoke to you as a worshiper of toys and shit. That will be everything. Everything you know will be a lie because of AI.

What is the difference? What is there? You who live in an eternal fucking nihilistic enigma- Yeah, exactly. To you, nothing will change. You need to accept Jesus Christ. That's your problem. That's what they keep telling me.

Computers can't fix- Computers can't fake your acceptance of Jesus Christ. I gotta open my church. Not your church. The church of the Lord, Jesus Christ. He'll be part of it. No, he's- He'll be one of the many deities that are accepted within our doors.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. None of this shit. What do you mean no? It's all Jesus. All Jesus all the time. It's all Jesus or nothing. What about Muhammad? We like that guy.

Fuck Muhammad. I didn't even feel comfortable saying that. Whenever you get a sponsorship talking like that. Oh, man. You think Muhammad would like lolly? Do you think he'd have any lolly horse porn on his car drive? If any deity was going to have lolly, Muhammad would probably be one of them. He'd probably be calling Mr. Girl pedophile.

He'd go, I can't believe how adorable you are riding the Barack. The Barack. Hey, that's a horse. Barack cock. Wait, the original lolly horse porn consumer was Muhammad, who had a child bride and a magic horse. Him and Vosh are the same guy.

Vosh is Muhammad. It's all making sense now. He is the prophet. Vosh is Einhorn. Vosh is Muhammad. How did we not see it before? It's so obvioushorn. Vosh is Mohammed. How did we not see it before? It's so obvious now. Vosh.

Can I get a call to prayer real quick? You got that music queued up at all? Actually, I do. Vosh is the prophet. Vosh has taken a child's bride and put her on the magic horse. Mr. Girl, pedophile. Vosh, number one. But this, uh, I thought it was Goblin.

I thought this little girl was Goblin. Goblin the Barack Cock is what I say. I thought she was a goblin. It's too early in the show. Do the show. AI is gonna kill you and your entire fucking family.

Oh, this guy. Biggest. If you ever make a problem. They're like, oh yeah, say something about the Jews then. The universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From Common Core Math to Wil Wheaton's Wrath.

I'm your host, Dick Mastin. Joining me as always, Vito Giugualdi. Hi, Dick! That was from Mindless Fudge. Fantastic. How you doing? I was good until I saw those fucking dogs. You know, it's really...

Nothing means nothing. It comes from your own narcissism. This exuberance slash existentialist crisis that people get over AI because they are trying to signal to everyone that the computer is making something that they themselves are worthy of making. It's not about that. It is about that. It's about recognizing. Let's ask the computer what it's about then.

Let's put it this way. Okay. I play with my cat. I love my cat. I feel a deep connection to my cat. I want to protect it and make it happy. Deep, like knuckle deep? But now I realize that connection is just brain synapses firing in the same way that they will be firing when I can generate an AI cat to follow me around the house or whatever the fuck.

You didn't know that already? I mean, this is like 20-year-old shit, man. Come on. You're not supposed to be having existential crises in your 30s. Well, I think that's the perfect time of existential crises now. No, that's a midlife crisis. Well, what does that one go? How does that one go?

I didn't buy enough cool shit. You don't have enough money to have a midlife crisis. You just broke even from all your fucking stock tip trading. Well, if I make another comic book, maybe I'll be okay. You have to make one comic book, Vito. You have yet to make one. It's coming. And the second one's coming as well.

Can we get a... And we're going to make a video game. That's going to be good. Can we get an over-under on your comic book? Over-under on when's it coming out? Yeah, like who's the closest to guessing when it comes out wins an appearance in Super Killer 2. At the same time as Ghost of the Badlands from Razor Fist.

Now you're deflecting, which is what they do. And G Prime. Razor Fist 2. You know what? I won't even talk about it. What? What are you going to say

about Razor Fist? He's a cool guy. Is he the one who's like, but he's like made videos where he makes little jabs at me or something. You should be so lucky to be a jab dad by Razor Fist. It was like one video where he's made videos where he makes little jabs at me or something. You should be so lucky to be a jab dad by Razorcist. It was one video where he's like, I bet Vito Giswaldi likes that insinuating song.

I'm like, did you get that reference? Was it something you would have liked? It was like, he's a pedophile joke. I was like, wow, am I that ingrained in the lore that you can just say what Vito would like? You constantly defend. What do you mean constantly? Lolly. No, I don't.

Bro, you're like the Roadrunner. If we were Roadrunner and Coyote, and, like, the Coyote puts out bird seed for the Roadrunner to stop, it's like, never fails. He'll always stop. And the audience knows he'll always stop. I would put out an argument about pedophilia on the road, and you'd go... I'm in front of Vosh. I think it's funny.

You know? Oh, pedophiles actually deserve our fucking empathy. I have not said that in so long. But they do. And what was I talking about? I don't even remember what topic we were on. Oh, yeah, Razor Fist's comic is late. And he had a 15-year-old girlfriend.

But that's unsubstantiated. Well, I don't know. I'm just like, when I find this stuff out, I'm like, wait, why is everyone going at me? I don't get it. I may be able to help you with that it just seems like all these guys who Twitter have like actual fucked up vetoes Twitter this you're coming at me to veto on Twitter what the fuck is this bro that's my this is what you need to you made this for some reason I mean that that's what I fucking Twitter. Yeah. You made a little Japanese like

girl. What? That's cool. Fucking veto. Can you just check off to it and then like that lolly? She looks I don't even know what fucking age is the AI made it. I said make an anime girl. I didn't say make a 14 year old anime

anime. Oh, I see the cats made little. I don't know where that came from. She could be 18. That looks 18. She could not be 18. Show it again. Absolutely not. Veto's Twitter.

That could absolutely be an 18 year old. Veto's Twitter. Did you tell the AI that? Make sure she's 18, by the way. No, I said make a goth anime girl standing in front of some cyberpunk looking shit. With pigtails and stuff? It looks like she just learned makeup for the first time. That's how you know it's a little girl.

That's how they do that shit in Japan. That fucking fashion. That gothic fashion they do. They all dress up like little china dolls. It's a little bit pedophilia. That is not pedophilic in the slightest. In the slightest? You're going to say in the slightest. She the slightest? You're gonna say in the slightest!

She's not even- she's not even like naked or anything. She's fully covered up! Okay, I'll tell you what. I'm imagining a woman right now. You tell me which- If you're pedophilic for thinking that is pedophilic. No, you tell me- you tell me if the woman I'm imagining looks more like a child or the one you made with AI. Shut up. Yeah, exactly. Yeah of a bitch. Yeah, thank you. I didn't tell it. That's why people are giving you shit. If you put anime girl into the prompt, it defaults to making the typical anime girl protagonist, which is like, I don't know, young. Twelve.

Not twelve. I don't know. It should be, it actually should email the FBI. Well, Bing made that, so that means Microsoft is full of pedophiles. It is. Microsoft is full of pedophiles. So there you go. It's their fault.

That's what we've been saying forever. Hold on. Those were cool AI images. I like that. And I like my AI skills. I think I'm killing it. Speaking of my AI skills, guys, biggest problem in China bonus episode. I made an excellent thumbnail for that episode.

Oh, yeah, you did. And you can watch a preview of that on the YouTube if you like the preview. You can hear me and Dick talk about how Chinese food is

disgusting. Listen to the episode on Patreon or backed by. Okay. Big winner. Do you know who it is who won last week?

Check the updated votes. I'm not going to do I want to check the. Nah, I'm not going to do that. I want to check the updated ones. Nah, I'm not going to do that. Okay. Vito wants to grind the show to a crawl because I'll just, no, no, no, no. That's it.

Wait, no, check it. What is the current vote total? Because I don't believe you. You're such a poor sport. Well. You always say it's going to grind the show to a halt. It always does. No, it doesn't.

You grind to a halt by refusing to do it. It always does. There you go. There you go. 40, it's not even fucking close, bro. It was close. It was closer this morning. What do you want, a Biden leap?

Did you just carry a bunch of votes in at the last minute? Well, congrats on breaking your, what was it, five show losing streak? No one really cares. I think they do. It's not a contest. It is kind of a contest. Common core math. Common core math. Liberals infecting, trying to ruin your case.

I know. The liberals are ruining everything. That's the theme of the show. Yeah. It's the theme of life. Which is why Brian Wil Wheaton, I almost would have won because that's another shitty fucking liberal asshole. Wil Wheaton. Yeah would have won Because that's another shitty fucking liberal Prone asshole Will Wheaton Yeah

Freemium software Yeah Yeah Was Apple fanboys positive at least? Should have been higher And then Elmo Barely anything That was weird

Elmo should have been a lot higher Probably a lot of sick freaks Yeah Who liked Elmo Showing their kids Elmo Apple fanboys is It's really annoying I don't know why you guys are so upset by

Like some stuff costs more than your stuff And this is like so Like I have a car I should have brought in some comments So many comments were shitting on you about the Apple thing Did you bring any of them in? Why would I bring comments shitting on myself? That's not funny

Why would I read comments shitting on myself? Doesn's not funny. Yes, it is. Why would I read comments shitting on myself? Doesn't make any sense. Because you can argue your case against them. Well, you know, these microphones are connected to that table that you keep hitting.

Okay. Ben asks, as a starry-eyed young man, I sided with Maddox on the Apple question, but now as a professional adult who works for a living, I'm completely in Dick's camp.

Oh, come on with this. Except that I love my watch, and it provides a lot of features for tracking your health and fitness, so I can understand why Vito wouldn't want anything like that. Yeah, that's why I hate the Apple Watch. Oh, I just got a text message. Instead of reading it on my phone, I'll read it on my wrist. Yeah, it's cool.

Wow. You don't have to take your phone out of your pocket. This is so great to have a tiny little screen. It's not a tiny little screen, it's the size of your wrist. And now I can respond to the text, but can you respond to the text on your wrist? Do you talk into your wrist? You can talk into your wrist, or you can select from a number

of prompts. Tell Tom I'm fucking gay, and I'm looking at his message on my gay watch. So you're having an existential crisis about AI, but you, it's totally unbelievable that a watch could respond properly to someone who existential crisis about AI, but it's totally unbelievable that a watch could respond properly to someone who texts you. I just think it's gay to talk in your rift.

Well... Does it have a... Does it have a voice? This guy thinks it's gay. That's gay? That's not gay? How is that gay? It's worse.

It's not worse. What's her name? Why does she have, like, crunk on her shirt? Her name's, uh, Kruk. Krukt. Krukt. Krukt?

Well, this is actually a reference to my Kiwi farm thread, which has been, uh, lambasting me for, uh, over this. This is fucked up. Okay, well, good. They can rip on me for my cool AI art. It's not cool. Well, it's some deep lore, which is kind of hard to explain, but they're mad. That's not hard to explain.

I could explain that. You might have a hard time explaining that to the judge, Nito. I can bring up the prompt. The prompt was anime girl in front of some gothic mechanical bullshit. I don't want that prompt on my computer. That's close enough to pedophile stuff. You're going to jail. If the prompt made this, then that prompt is basically child pornography.

That is not child pornography. That is not child pornography. It's closer than nothing. It's a girl standing in front of a doorway with a sweater. The doorway represents her virginity obviously that you want to- I didn't tell that to the AI. That's why it's stained glass because it's fragile. I didn't say that. That's why you're gonna pump your cock right through it.

Look at this one she's got a skull for a face. This is more secret messages that signal pedophilia. Hold on, hold on, hold on. They're obvious to me. Wait which one of these brings it up? The skulls being the death of her innocence that you want to take. What the fuck are you doing? Because look at who thinks my AI art is cool. Carl Benjamin, a.k.a. Sargon of Akkad, said, well, what are you using to generate that AI art?

No, that's a sting. He's trying to set you up. It's not a sting. It's a honey pot. If Sargon likes it, it must be good. Stop moving. I'll do it. Fucking fucking stop you messed up my settings oh no i ruined the show juma says veto burning a black man's effigy for black history month is

incredibly uh based he says it was out of solidarity i did you were burning a uh f a pop figure black guy yeah Well, I think... Thank God you took it so there's no more of those. I thought about on the way over here that there's about a 50-50 chance in my mind that you will just put another Mother's Milk pop figure in that box.

Nobody sent one in. Good. I have the head of the Mother's Milk Pop figure. I think I'm going to make it into a chain and wear it from now on. You're going to put a chain on the black man that you burned? Yeah, I'm going to proudly wear it around my neck. You better keep that in Pasadena with the Asians.

I'll auction it off for charity. How's that? I'm going to auction a black man. Chains? Yeah, and chains. That you branded with your name? Aains? Yeah, and chains. That you branded with your name? A branded, yeah, exactly. A branded black man.

We are going to auction him off. Are you going to do it in the next two weeks? I don't know. Well, if you wait, then it's okay. If I wait, as long as it's not Black History Month. Yeah, Blart Samson says, I was laughing so hard at the end of the show, my wife asked why I was laughing so hard, and I explained the whole Vito weight loss scale smash toy arc.

Now she thinks I'm retarded. Wow, I agree with her. You are retarded. No, I think she's right. Nameless says, today's edition of Vito's Booty was so funny that I accidentally cut myself while shaving. It's a big problem. Vote it up. That was a problem, yeah.

Not Smoke says, I volunteer to be the straight man on the Biggest Problem in the Universe Dungeons and Dragons episode. I have nothing to plug, and I will shit on you both equally. I've had a few people offer to DM the episode. Obviously, there's one fan

who has been asking for a long time. So I think he gets first dibs. No. Why? Because he's first? He's been asking for like two years. How would someone get first dibs? I mean, I don't know.

I guess. Why do you feel like you can. Well, how do you know if someone's better than. Like, what's a better. You want the best one? You want the best dungeon master? Yeah, the very best. Or the worst.

Okay, okay, okay. I think the problem with that guy, though, is I don't think he wants to be on camera. There's got to be somebody who can be on camera, though, right? Yeah, I don't know about this whole DM thing. How long does it take? To play D&D? Yeah. You can do a two-hour session.

Two hours? That's how long an episode is. We need, like, ten minutes. We're not doing ten minutes of D&D? Speed D&D. That doesn't make any sense. I asked that guy, I was like do we need anyone else? He says it could just be us on an adventure.

The question is if we want to create our characters on stream or if we want to bring our characters already created. Don't tell me what your character is going to be. I think that'll be a fun reveal. A slime. Yeah. Yeah.

And my character is going to be this. A pedophile. I don't want to play with this lady. Well, you don't have a choice. I do. I really do. Her name is Cynthia Darkblood, and she is a level 12 elf princess. Get this shit out of here.

We're going to get fucking flagged. elf princess. Get this shit out of here. We're going to get fucking flagged. You're ripping on Shad for this. That guy Shad M. Brooks for this shit. Yeah, I'm trans, but I admit to it, so that's fine. I am a woman, legally. That's true, I guess. Martin O'Keefe says,

Vito criticizing Van Gogh's art is wild. I really think he can't tell the difference between actual art and his pop culture shit. Criticizing them both with an on-the-face appraisal. I'd like a new bit where Vito has to watch, read, study something of actual cultural value and present his honest thoughts. Cynthia Darkblood is better than any Van Gogh painting ever made. I mean, I think that you're joking, but I think you also kind of think that. I don't like Van Gogh's art.

I think it looks like shit. There's some of it that's like... That's irrelevant. It's not a question of do you like it or not. On a color theory level, I'm like, yeah, the colors are nice. That Starry Night thing, I'm like, yeah, the colors are nice,

but it looks like shit. I cut off my ear. I cut off my ear. Oh, I'm so tortured. I cut off my ear. Well, he killed himself. Look at my art. Yeah, I know. I mean, you would never do something like that. I cut off my ear. Oh, I'm so tortured. I cut off my ear. Well, he killed himself. Look at my art. Yeah, I know.

I mean, you would never do something like that. I don't know. Well, if they keep making this AI stuff, who knows? Long walk off a short pier. Hey, speaking of, I'm glad we didn't do that Madam Web review. Really? I mean, it just looks, it's so depressing, the thought of doing these Marvel movies and having to watch them and pretend to talk about all of them.

What do you mean pretend to talk about? Because they're all shit. Your approach to movie reviewing is different from mine. What's your approach? I enjoy dissecting failure, and I think it has much value in terms of... What are you talking about? I, after last week's show, had to listen to you and Randy rip apart my fucking comic book for two hours. You keep asking for fucking

notes! And then you keep arguing them! Yeah, but you're gleeful about it! Because you keep fucking arguing and we both know that we're right! And that you're gonna fucking find out! I'm like, hey guys, what do you guys think of my comic? And you're like, well, it's worse than I saw. That's not where it started!

It started with just a, well, here's what I would improve. So why do you enjoy that? Well, I wouldn't improve that. Actually, here's the reason I won't do the notes. Okay? So I do think you enjoy gleefully ripping things apart. You just like it when it's me instead of a Spider-Man movie. Yeah, but I can't make Sidney Sweeney cry over this.

Yeah, you can't make Sidney Sweeney cry like I did for two hours in the bathroom. And then you and Randy went, no, Vito, it's fine. Only two hours after that? I didn't cry. Oh, man. I would have thought it would have been more. I took my, uh, because you haven't read the updated story, Morin. Which I sent to you and to Randy. It's starting to feel like homework.

It is like homework. That's what makes me hate it more. Is that it's starting to feel like homework. I help, uh, it's part of everything. Like, it's all part of the ecosystem. Regardless. Wait, what ecosystem of what? Are you part of the iron age iron age no I'm not part of the irony irony age the irony is that none of these fuckers should be making comics because they're not any good a lot of them because none of their none of them are any fucking good because they didn't bother to read about how to make a basic story which isn't even that hard or fucking sophisticated,

they just won't do it. They shit out a first draft. You know, here's what I'm going to support. Sure. An indie comic that has a number of what percentage of the story was rewritten after the first draft. And if it's below 75, don't buy it. Right. That's my policy.

Well, luckily, my comic has gone through extensive editing process, and I sent it to my buddy who works at The Hollywood Reporter, and he had very glowing notes. He loved it. And that guy covers Hollywood professionally, so. And he's your enemy? No, no, no. He's a buddy.

Oh. Because you said it like the review meant something. So I assumed he was your enemy. He was a friend of yours. He was very much like, you know, I've had to read things for friends before and been like, you know, would I read this if they weren't my friend?

And he said, yours is one of the few that really stands out. You know what I say? Every time I get a blowjob, best blowjob of my life, right? No matter what. Trixie the Golden Witch read the current draft, gave it a solid 9 out of 10. That little fat goblin that is on Eric Jalai's nuts

is going to have a crack at it. I think you and Randy just don't get it. Oh, you're right. is going to have a crack at it. I think you and Randy just don't get it. Oh, you're right. It was a fun... What do you mean by it? He kept saying that

the main guy is like a villain. He's not a villain. What's he doing? He's a bad guy. You can have a bad guy and he's not the villain. What's the difference? It's like an anti-hero type situation. Can you explain it more than just that?

Well, I don't want to give anything away. Just like speak in general. Like, what's an example of like a... I think this is good. This is good for the show. That dick is going to tell everyone my comic is bad. I didn't say that. I'm going to tell everyone it's good.

I didn't say that. And we'll see where it comes out. I just told you some things that I thought of. I know, but I'm getting like crazy notes from people. From who? I asked Mr. Girl what I should do and he's like, you got to give her cancer. And I'm like, well, I'm not giving her cancer.

But Should she have cancer? I want to hear more about that. I would like him to... Mr. Girl's a smart guy, you know? He's a smart guy. You know what the worst part is when I talk to Mr. Girl? He goes, well, Dick's a really smart guy.

You should probably listen to him. I'm like, god damn it. I'm like, why does everybody think Dick is the fucking king of stories? Yeah, I really fucking wonder. Anyway, I'm very excited about the current draft. It's looking great. The artist is plowing ahead. Okay.

And this says, Jarvis says, hey, Dick, shove this in Vito's fat face. What? I don't know if we have time for this. Is it all my stocks going up that I told everyone to buy? I mean, you shouldn't have told me that you're crawling out of a hole with that. Because I was jealous. I was really jealous. You were jealous that I was making money?

Yeah, I was like, man, how come I don't listen to Vito's stock tips? Well, you should have listened to my- I was like, oh. Well, yeah, because I made bad stock plays like two, three years ago. But everybody, remember when everything crashed? Everybody lost money. Nobody made money then. This is, you did if you had some money in bonds.

It's true. Pull it out. Shut up. Based on our student outcome data study by Stanford and community feedback, we've determined our approach to math has not led to improved outcomes in middle school at all. Student achievement declines in math. Oh, wow. It's like it's not working, I guess was the point.

Yeah, but there's a reason it's not working. Why? I'm not allowed to say. But the math scores are going down. Surely what you're not allowed to say is getting worse. That's not possible. I don't know exactly what's going on. Okay, is it...

It's not the kind of problem that any amount of wish fulfillment will fulfill. Dick, I have a segment I like. Oh, wait, hold on. I have a letter. I'll do this quick. Hey, Vito, big fan of the show. I'm writing to ask a favor. A friend of mine introduced me to Biggest Problem and The Dick Show,

and he sadly passed away February from liver failure. He told me in October that he preordered Super Killer. I was wondering if you could send it to me instead of him so I could make sure it's in the right hands. I want TBF to him, and I'm very confident it's what he would want. His name was Jonathanathan wilson and he lives in tennessee uh i will give you my address thank you and tell dick to go fuck himself so uh how you doing oh yeah hey look who's here What did he want? He wants to know if

issues of Super Killer are transferable upon death. And the answer is no. Can you transfer something that doesn't exist? And is never gonna exist? Yeah, I'll send you a digital... You can have an NFT version.

Guys, don't forget the Ricky shirt now available. I'm killed out. Look at that. Look at that. Looks good. I like that you got the white in my beard. It's nice printing. Yeah, it looks great.

I like this guy's art. His art's really good, right? Yeah, who is it? I don't know if I'm allowed to say. I forgot to ask if I'm allowed to say. I hate that. Yeah. Damn it, I want to plug it, but I don't know if he wants to plug.

Well, you'll find out at some point because I think I'm going to be doing more stuff with that gentleman. You going to be making another comic? We'll see. You going to be making an omnibus? I'm going to make an omnibus. Just like I some. He's already got the omnibus.

It's starting to make us look bad, honestly. It's so late. It's starting to make me look bad. He has an entire team of like 20 people making this shit. I got two guys. Me, my guy. Can I get a year? I got a colorist guy.

I'm taking a year. I know. It sucks. It is you. It is not just me. There's multiple people involved. You are the CEO. Yeah.

I'm not a good leader. I've learned that. I've known that. I don't like leading things. Okay? that. I've known that. I don't like leading things. Okay? But I do like leading us into my very famous

segment, Vote It Up! I got something to say. I went to the website today and it really fucking bothers me that Vito's number one. Go vote it up. Rock your head to

death. Vote it up. Make head to death Vote it up Think it's prone to choice Guys voted up Great, thank you Nice and brief That was sent to us by who? Colt Oh, Colt?

It says Colt I don't know, I went off the thing Good work Oh yeah, Colt, there it is Thank you, Colt I thought that was the name of the song The name of the song would be, that was the Misfits. Fucking emo shit.

Emo? Okay, you know nothing about music. Guys, vote it up where we revisit past problems, put them in a new light. Well, Dick, you may remember from episode 55 the problem of celebrity bands. Oh, yeah. This is when celebrities decide to make music for some fucking reason. Well, Daily Wire editor Ben Shapiro and rapper Tom McDonald have hit the number one overall spot on the iTunes charts. Number one on Billboard Digital Rap and number one on the R&B Hip Hop Digital Chart.

I wish they would hit the number one on amount of cancers had by people. Amount of cancers had at the same time by famous people. Not so famous people. By B-list, C-list internet celebrities. We did this episode before. List of kidnapping Hamas. List of kidnapped by

Hamas victims and raped. Tom McDonald and Ben Shapiro. Remember we had Phil Labonte on this show? I do, yeah. I think I've destroyed that relationship by constantly shitting on Tim Pool's music. Well, there's two ways to go in life. You either are honest or you

make money and live. I've chosen my path pretty hard. Tom and Ben's rap song, Facts, has climbed the charts quickly. Facts. Facts. After its release.

Shapiro and McDonald trended the song on X, the song which goes after the establishment and mainstream media's Sacred Cows, passed such top artists as Megan Thee Stallion, I think. Wait, what Sacred Cows are they going? Ben Shapiro's going after sacred cows. Which sacred cows? Well, he definitely doesn't talk about... Not these sacred cows.

Not these sacred cows. Look at that. It's another sacred cow. What are you hiding? There's nothing behind the curtain. There's no sacred cows behind the curtain. Look at that trans guy. Look at that.

Doesn't he look weird? Everybody, don't look over here. God. They're going to give trans people a little bit of money. Go, go. Drive the trucks. Go. They're distracted. It would be. I bit of money. Go, go, drive the trucks. Go, they're distracted. It would be.

I think, yeah, you're right. 80 billion to Israel. Yeah, go, go, go. How many kids did Israel kill? How many Palestinian kids did Israel kill? 12,000 is it? Is it higher than that? Well, you can't talk about that.

Do they make NFTs of them at least? Ben Shapiro's not allowed to talk about that. That's his entire funding base. He's got to rap about what the liberals are doing. What does Tom McDonald think about all the Palestinian kids that were murdered? How about that one that was trapped in an ambulance and they shot the rescue workers that they said could go get her?

She was trapped in a fucking car with her dead family and they told the ambulance they could go get her out and they killed everybody. See, I want to say that's horrible. All I know is that's AI video footage. I don't even know if that's real. Now, Dick, I actually was able to contact rapper Tom McDonald on Twitter. Did you transmit a virus into his brain and give him leukemia?

No, I didn't do that. But he did give us permission to play 30 seconds of his very popular Ben Shapiro rap song, Facts, if you want to go to YouTube. He's not going to strike us like he struck Chrissy Mayer? Well, I was going to say, one of the problems with this is that any channel that has tried to cover this song finds themselves facing DMCA claims. We're 100% going to get DMCA'd for this.

Hit videos. Well, if he does, then he's a liar, and we can talk about that because he said he put our show on a white list so we won't get struck. With those dreads, I don't think he can use the term like white list so we won't get struck with those dreads i don't think he can use the term like white well i didn't say he said you gotta tell me at a time they call me offensive controversial it's only two genders boys and girls they can't cancel my message because i'm the biggest independent rapper in the whole freaking world claim that i'm racist

y'all right i'm not ashamed because i'm white if every caucasian's a bigot i guess every muslim's a terrorist every liberal is right wow i want to talk to folks who don't get it go woke go broke Wow. When does Ben rap? Ben? Yeah. Where is he? That's it. No, hold on.

That's 30 seconds. Yeah, but I want to hear Ben Shapiro rap. Here we go. Just like Eminem? Is that right? La Chaim and Em? Is this where he comes in? Is that his rapper name?

Chaim and Em? La Chaim and Em. La Chaim and Em. La Chaim, but La Chaim and Em. Let's see how Ben Shapiro. I got it. You didn't have to add that. What, do you repeat it five times? I got where you were going. Did it? Yeah, I got it. You didn't have to add that. What, do you repeat it five times?

I got where you were going. Did it? Yeah, I got it. Let's hear Ben here. Let's look at the stats. I've got the facts. My money like Lizzo. My pockets are fat.

Homie, I'm epic. Don't be a wap. Dog, it's a yarmulke. Homie, no cap. Look at the graphs. Look at my charts. You're blowing money on strippers and cars. You going to prison.

I'm on television. Dogs, no one knows who you are. Keep hating on me on the internet. So I guess it's just like, well, that sucks, by the way. That doesn't sound good from Ben. The other guy sounds good, Tom. I hope that he gets hepatitis from one of those prison tattoos he's got. And I mean Ben Shapiro.

I hope Ben Shapiro gets hepatitis from the other guy's tattoos. Here's the thing about rap is it's not that hard. I'm going to have to wait until I get on Rumble to express myself. I'm feeling a little tight in here. Oh, God. Well, like I said, guys. There's some kind of a tunnel I can get out of here. Ben Shapiro has been crowing about how they've beaten Britney Spears,

Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj, Eminem, and Taylor Swift. That is the problem with celebrity bands. Currently 116 upvotes. They're so desperate to be famous. All these right-wing guys, they're so desperate to be part of the Hollywood that they say they hate, you know? That's the saddest part of it. It's like, I'm wearing it on my sleeve.

Yeah, I wish I was, you know, making movies. It's not going to happen, but whatever. These guys are like, no, I'm wearing it on my sleeve. Yeah, I wish I was you know making movies It's not gonna happen, but whatever these guys are like no I really care about politics and shit, but I could be in like a little comedy movie on the side That'd be fun, too. We're beating them all we're beating them all on the chart We're beating them all on the chart that we have to ultimate disdain for oh Look at the movie about trans about trans kids and how it's not a big deal, and we're just laughing about it Oh, so it's not a big deal. And we're just laughing about it. Oh, so it's not a big deal? Well, no, it is a big deal.

It makes a good point where it's like, well, you know, all of America is so morally bankrupt. That's how they would make a song like Wet Ass Pussy number one. Yeah. Yeah, but you're number one. Yeah, but that's like our guys are good. Yeah. But it's the same like just mass. Yeah, it's the same chart. You're promoting the chart. That's what, our guys are good. Yeah. But it's the same, like, just mass. Yeah. It's the same chart.

You're promoting the chart. That's what you're doing. I don't understand what point you think you're making. Point is, don't see Lady Ballers. Also starring Ben Shapiro as a coach. And he wasn't funny in that either. Did he have a, what was even his line as the, not the coach, he was the ref. Oh, he said, he said, get that cock out of my ass.

Right, because he was getting butt raped by one of the lady ballers. That was at the end when they were doing bloopers. He said, hey, get that cock out of my ass. And it was like a blooper. They were pulling all these anal beads that Ben Shapiro had shoved up. And each one had a little Israeli. It was a string of Israeli flags. Yeah.

They were pulling out of his ass. God, I would die for Israel to touch his sister's tits, though. Oh, my God. She's a good-looking lady. Fuck. Speaking of touching tits, Dick, you might remember from episode 84, a problem I brought in called the lack of good VR porn.

Who could forget? How could you? Well, this is interesting because this story actually took a twist. Originally, I was going to report on the fact that with the launch of the Apple Vision Pro, many users were upset to find it was incompatible with existing VR porn technology. It's bullshit. So the current VR porn videos, you know, there's two different angles for each eye and 360 head swivel and whatever else. But the Vision Pro doesn't allow you to access that because it can't.

It's like the videos are projected in front of you in a space. Oh. You're not like in a VR. Yeah, it's not really VR. It's just goggles. Screen goggles. Yeah. That's dumb.

However. God, really? Yeah. What a piece of shit. Yeah, I don't know if they're making actual, they must be making some actual VR apps for it, I guess, but they're all going to be like... How could that be possible? I don't know. Because you're using it.

It can't be... You can't focus like that. It's got to be VR enabled. They're saying all the existing VR parts is not compatible because of the way it's shot or whatever. Because it's like two... It's two video images, right? Like, that's how they do it?

That's VR, yeah. Yeah. But this VR is like one thing. Can video images right like that's how they do it. That's VR yeah. Yeah but this VR is like one thing. No. Can't be because you can't focus on that because there's two lenses. You can't focus your fucking look that would be like this you can't do that it's gotta be one for each eye they're lying someone at Apple's like I fucking know

when they're withholding porno from me I fucking know it. I fucking know they are. Don't get too ahead of yourself because the first adult content specifically shot for the Apple Vision Pro did release on Wednesday. What is it? The series is called Spatial Sex Ed. These are instructional videos on how to make a girl squirt and can track her arousal or how to track her arousal via her vaginal contractions so it's for women it's something to help women feel good i think it's for helping men make the woman feel good yeah that's the worst possible thing that there could ever have that could ever be

to help you what's it called uh spatial sex ed available from the play website i guess it's called play the people making it i'd rather there be a video. Spatial. With a T. Yeah, like in space. Oh. Yeah, I see it. There should be a video on how to cut your cock off.

Starring performer Joanna Angel. Sex ed. Yeah, is that it? Sex ed in the multiverse? No, this is not it. Search Joanna Angel along with it. Joanna Angel. Yeah, I know. Sex ed Search Joanna Angel along with it. Joanna Angel. Yeah, I know.

Sex Ed. Spatial Sex Ed. Yeah, that should be fine. The first VR. Well, where's the website? Vice. First squirting video. Well, hopefully you'll find a link there.

We can see what this is. The series is currently available for free via Play's website after an email sign up. Oh, that's too much. Spatial Sex Ed, it's free, was shot using the iPhone 15 Pro's built-in spatial video function. I can't play this. He's going to be coming, Sounds. If you have an iPhone 15 Pro, apparently you can shoot video that will be VR and compatible with the headset. This is by Kenneth Play.

So it's this Asian gentleman. You can show this part. No. We'll get struck for sure. See, it instantly turned into nudity. We 100% got struck by the listening. You're stupid ass. I didn't say play the whole thing.

You can play the beginning where he's showing her the, oh, hey, it's got lesbians. Why do they got this like John Wick villain in here? Because he's going to show you how to make her squirt Fuck this It's piss I know it's piss but That's the first VR porn is how to make a chick piss How's that VR there

There was just a guy jerking off a lady Well that's the preview you can't see it's VR unless you have goggles on No but like go back I wanna see I'm not going to that Disgusting What do you wanna see I wanna stop pounding the table like that No, but go back. I want to see. I'm not going to that disgusting open closed tab. What do you want to see? I want to stop pounding the table like that.

I want to know what you're looking. They'll show you a preview of what it would look like if you were wearing the goggles. Just hit reopen closed tab. What? Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Fucking stop. Just right click. I am doing it. No, right click. You fucked it At the top No right click You fucked me up I was gonna click somewhere else

Reopen close tab I feel like I'm always teaching grandpa how his computer works every time I come over here I don't wanna watch this disgusting stuff You don't have to I just wanna see real quick what it looks like through the goggles Well they don't have that Scroll down What is this fucking clown doing?

He's the guy who makes it. He's like the Asian guy who makes it. This looks like a guy I used to go to goth clubs with. Yeah? Yeah, he was a cool guy. Was Cynthia Darkblood there? She goes to the goth clubs, too. I wonder if it's him.

Oh, shit. His name's Kenneth Play? Does that sound like a guy you knew? That's a fake name, though. Yeah. Well, I think a lot of Asian guys who shave the sides of their heads look similar. Hi, I'm Kenneth Play. My hunch is someone you trust mentioned my name.

Why do you use a comma instead of an apostrophe? This site's fucked. Orgasm myths guide to multiple- Eat pussy like a pro, man. This is sick. Eat pussy like a pro. Don't promote this sort of degenerate shit. This is worse than the horse cock stuff.

At least it's VR. If I showed a porn folder And it was like eating pussy I'd be like Oh no Horse cock Lollies I'd be like Ah whatever

I don't give a shit I'm gonna say they're both bad In different ways Why can't these guys just go Who cares Fuck off So I guess You know what

Honestly vote this problem up Because as we've discovered There's still a lack of good VR porn Because this is not it This is not what we want Single guys Experienced guys who think they're good but have no way of knowing that they really are. This is like an intimacy course he sells.

It's like how to make women happy. Stop giving a shit. Once you've fucked her, it doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter if you're good. It's too late for her. Why are you giving these tips away for free? You could be charging $100 a month for this. Join the Mac Club.

I don't want. I really am like Jesus I don't want. I really am like Jesus in so many ways. Giving it away to the lepers. Dick, how do I make my woman happy? She won't be. She'll never be. Yeah. Get what you can out of that.

She wants you to mess with her. Well, guys, what do you call it? Is that it? Yeah. Bad VR porn is currently on our list at fucking Christ. 119 upvotes, currently number 409. Celebrity bands currently

number 414, both very low on the list. I urge you to vote it up. It's like been an hour already. It's number one. Go vote it up or I'll fuck your head to death. It is. It's like an hour into the show.

People like the bits. I don't tell you your stupid pirate shit is going on too long. You'll spend about half an hour on that, I'm sure. Because then you wouldn't get the toy. It would be over. There would be no... Try it. I have to let you dance and play your music and dress up in your costume.

This bit would be turning around and going home. There would be no wing and no toy. Vito has a bit, and we got to time it. We got to make sure it's quick and snappy. I let it go as long as you wanted. Yeah, and then you complain about it. But you're going to dress up like a pirate and dance around for an hour And I just have to sit here and take it, right?

It wouldn't take an hour if you just get up and get on the scale Right away, but you hum and haw about it Well, you're the big Try to negotiate Alright, you're the big winner Uh, throwing your back out Oh, man, problem over I can't argue with that one

Oh, God I got so fucked up super bowl weekend how did you throw out your bag ironically i decided to get sober right on monday start you know dial it down dial it back all right i gotta go i gotta get sober for a couple days, right? I'm going to be healthy, work out, you know, go on, do some exercising, fucking bench press. I've done 10 million times in my life. I do it and I feel, oh, no. I feel like a mouse on my spine and my lower back. After I spent, I spent like 20 minutes explaining to someone at the party some back exercises because I used to have a lot of back problems.

And as soon as I felt it. Do you stretch a bunch before you get on the bench or no? Stretching's bad. Really? Yeah, you want to be nice and tight. What? You want to be nice and tight. That doesn't sound correct at all.

What do you mean? I mean, clearly it didn't work in this situation. A parachute. Nice and tight. What, you want to be nice and tight? That doesn't sound correct at all. What do you mean? What do you want to be? I mean, clearly it didn't work in this situation. A parachute. Nice and tight. What, you want a floppy parachute? It would be all kinds of problems for you. But you throw your back. It sounds like you're supposed to stretch.

This is the worst problem, throwing out your back, is people giving you all this goddamn advice. I'm not giving you advice. I'm asking if you did. You're implying that I should have been doing it. Well, I would imagine it would help. It doesn't. Nothing helps. Alright, old man Masterson. Do whatever feels right.

Or you can do what I do. Nothing feels good now. Nothing, exactly. Well, now I realize how little I care about anything. Is your back still fucked? So the Super Bowl was last weekend. You've had a week. It's fucked. It's even more fucked now. Yeah. You weren't limping when I came through, though.

I was putting on a brave face. Okay. Hobbling around. Yeah. Walking the dog like, ugh. And I'm thinking, what if a hot girl that wanted to bang me sees me like this? Ugh. She's going to be like, nope, turn around.

Or maybe you could use Kenneth Play's tips. I'm just going to go VR. My back is limber. VR. I could do jumping jacks and shit. Well, I, of course, had my big back incident that involved me having to use a mobility scooter around Disney World.

A fan saw me and, thank God, did not take a picture. What a fucking failure. That's the biggest missed opportunity in my broadcasting career is that guy. That guy, I'm so good. Every day I wake up and I go,

hey, isn't it great that guy didn't think to take a picture of me on that mobility scooter? Because I would never live that down. It would be on t-shirts. It would be on billboards. It was the one. You'd probably have some dumb look on your face like, hey, Vito.

Dude, I'm sure. Would it be a live photo because he's using Apple and not dog shit? I enjoyed. I know I looked pathetic because I felt pathetic all day. I was like, I couldn't get off that thing for more than five. I couldn't stand in the line for the rides. My bag was hurting so bad.

I feel sick. I feel like I'm going to throw up constantly. Fucking hurts so bad. I feel sick. I feel like I'm going to throw up constantly. Yeah. Fucking hurts so bad. I did finally find my Disney footage, though. I have to edit that. What? I built a lightsaber at Disney, and that was fun. What did you... What? What's that?

They have an experience where you can build your own lightsaber in a special Star Wars... Shut the fuck up. What do you mean? I'm laughing at joy because I'm so happy that such a thing exists. So I go in. I figured I have a Star Wars channel. I should do it. But I just

never edited the footage. You have to pick what color lightsaber you want. What color did you pick? I went with red. Why? I wanted to make a because they have four different lightsaber types. Red, green, and black eye? Is that... There's red, green, purple.

Yeah. And I think yellow. Who has yellow? I don't know. I think... Doesn't Ahsoka have yellow? Who's that? The one from the show.

The one with the... Rosaria Dawson. Oh. I think she has yellow. Well, you get four different colors of... Oh, you did it to crystal You owed it to the fans you made a lightsaber Well yeah I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't going to film it

Honestly How much do you think it costs to make a lightsaber Uh $280 Here's $200 Just fucking insane Yeah so I only $12 would have been, you know

$12 would be reasonable I would absolutely do it for $12 Is it heavy? Does it have like lead in it so it feels heavy? It's metal, the hilt is like a bunch of metal So you pick a color blade Which comes from a crystal You pick a crystal color And they have four different sets of parts

So you can get imperial parts Rebel parts Like old you can get Imperial parts, Rebel parts, like old-timey tree people parts. Can you get like gummy bear stuff on it? No, there's no gummy bear parts. Okay. So you pick, and then I pick the Imperial set of parts.

So they're all like, you know, black metal and like industrial steel. So that's kind of cool. Star Wars stuff looks cool. I'm not going to say it doesn't look cool. No, no, no. That doesn't look cool. Yeah, shut up. All the Star Wars like looks cool. I'm not gonna say it doesn't look cool. No no no that doesn't look cool Yeah, shut up all the Star Wars like fucking

Set design and you know what I do anical design. That's all cool I have my like entertainment console upstairs and sometimes people come over and I'll go like and look Here's where I don't have a Star Wars lightsaber. Isn't that cool? And he'll go like yeah It's in the closet I don don't, like, display the fucking thing. Why? Why? Because I'm not that big a Star Wars guy, honestly. Really? Really.

All right. Well, I'm going to join the mobile scooter. Well, if you throw out your bag, we can go to Disney and we can make a lightsaber. I'm not going to Disneyland. I'll go down to the Super Games store. You don't go to Disneyland? I despise Disneyland. Why? Well, I hate everyone who

goes there. Sure. And I hate what it stands for. I hate all of What does it stand for in your mind? Prolonged childhood into adulthood. But it doesn't have to be that. It is, though. It is for most of the weirdo Disney adults who go there. Yeah yeah and i think all their movies are uh uh the message i think they're

very well made but the message is uh i think uh uh cancer all disney movies like even like the old ones not hercules hercules is good um mulan's good but wait't you tell me You haven't seen Mulan Not watching it How have you not seen Mulan That's fucking weird I mean what do you mean It's a movie about a girl It's about There's a bunch

It joins the army Why the fuck Would I want to see that It's about It's like a lot of guys stuff too It's like guys They dress up like girls They dress up like girls

To fuck around And get into the castle Mulan's a good movie If you like I'll go watch Monty Python. If you like Hercules, you would like Mulan. Danny DeVito, though. That was before he was in Always Sunny, and now it's even better. I'm trying to remember if there's any people you would like in...

He's just so, like, schmaltzy and shitty. Stop hammering the table, could you? I need to emphasize what I'm saying. Well, stop pounding on it. It's connected to the fucking microphones. What's the black guy who plays the dragon? Why can't I not remember? Eddie Murphy.

You like him? Yeah, but he was like- He's playing a dragon. He's being kind of racist. But he's doing Aladdin. He's trying to be Robin Williams. Yeah, I got it. All right, you're just like going really out of control.

Breaking the- I got it. Pass. Everybody in the chat tell Dick he needs to see Mulan because... Come on. I actually hate Disney.

All of these guys shitting on it love it and they want to like fix it. They want to make a ho. Do you hate current Disney? Do you hate like

what Walt Disney was trying to do? Because he was actually kind of a cool guy. I like Steamboat Willie. I like Donald Duck when he fucks people up. Sure.

That was early Disney. Makes kids smoke cigars. That's cool. Walt Disney seemed kind of a cool guy. I like Steamboat Willie. I like Donald Duck when he fucks people up. Sure. That was early Disney. Makes kids smoke cigars. That's cool. Walt Disney seemed like a pretty cool guy who died too young. Yeah, he had a lot of cool ideas. He did have cool ideas. Epcot was a cool idea. Do you know what Epcot was

originally? It was a living community. It was the experimental prototype community of tomorrow. No, it was literally. No, I hate that shit. I hate that shit where they're like making a big acronym. It wasn't a big acronym. It was very reasonable.

It was very cute that you did that. It's seasonal affective disorder. It's called. Stop. Okay. I'm sorry. I got it. I got it.

Real fucking cute. But he was like. It's called sad. He was like, well, why don't all our cities just be like a big circle and all the furnaces will feed into one central burner and all the houses will be interconnected? That's what he was trying to build. And then he died and they just made it into a theme park instead. That's like retarded, though. It's not retarded.

It's interesting. Okay. And then he made the Carousel of Progress. You ever go on that? Nah. Carousel of Progress is the one where it's like, what's the future going to be like? And here's what the past used to be like. That's one of the few Disney rides where a cast member died, got crushed on the rotating

stage between a wall, just slowly crushed her to death. Yeah. I like that part of Disney, the weird hidden death stuff. Well, that's my problem, throwing your back out. I don't know. I'm going to make you. It's real emasculating. Let's go to Disney and we'll film it for the your back out. I don't know. I'm going to make you. It's real emasculating. Let's go to Disney and we'll film it for the show.

No, I don't want. Biggest problem in Disney, we'll go to Disneyland. I don't want to do like a, hey, look at me, I'm at a thing content. I don't like that. Do you? Yeah, it's funny. Do you watch that shit? Yeah.

Well, no, I don't watch it, but I make it. But if we went. It's so crappy, though. It's not a crappy. It's funny when comedians do it. It's, but I make it. But if we went... It's so crappy, though. It's not a crappy. It's funny when comedians do it. It's funny when I do it. I think it's people who really are impressed with themselves and think it's a treat for other people to hang out with them.

That's what I get out of those things. That's what this show is, Dick. No. This show is directed. It's in a basement. It's a parasocial relationship between us and a bunch of people. Yeah. I just want to go hang out with my friends Dick and Vito. And today

we're going to hang out at Disneyland. No, then you're like all on. We don't have to be on. It's fun to go and go hey, that's shitty or whatever. I don't even want to say that. I just want to be totally silent. They got the Indiana Jones experience. You like that? No, he looks like the pharmacist from Grace Under Fire on that ride.

Get a Dole Whip. Get a ride. The Guardians of the Galaxy have their tower ride now. I guess. You should go to Epcot. You can drink at Epcot. Well, now you can drink at all the Disney parks, right? I don't know.

You can do acid at all of them. California Adventure, I think you can drink. Oh, yeah. You got to go to Napa Valley or whatever. Yeah. Well, there you go. That's my problem. All right.

Throw your back out. You're very weak. It will make you throw your back out and you realize how little any of the other problems matter. And it's a real reminder to focus on yourself and your own needs, even when you feel good. And then when you're lying down and your back hurts, you're thinking about great places we could take the show, which we should.

My Problem Dick has assisted suicide haters. Oh. A 28-year-old Dutch woman was euthanized on January 27th after years of suffering with myalgic encephalomitis, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome. Yeah. The woman, known as Lauren Hove, also had autism, anxiety, and ADHD. She wasn't trans?

Surprisingly not. She had autism and no trans. That's odd. I think if she'd kept going, she would have had a trans period. Thank God we got rid of her. Well, after being placed on a waiting list due to COVID-19 man you can't even kill yourself because of COVID you gotta wait to kill yourself

can you believe it she was approved by several doctors and did kill herself even tweeted out beforehand there was a farewell live stream this has made a number of people farewell live stream? yeah she did a live stream

she said hey guys did she say the n-word? yeah I think Twitch gave her a pass for the day This has made a number of people. Farewell live stream. Yeah, she did a live stream. She said, hey, guys. Did you say the N-word? Yeah, I think Twitch gave her a pass for the day. They said, you know what? That's going to be my last word. If you're going to kill yourself. He's going. Everybody get in here.

Oh, who am I kidding? There's nobody here to see you die. Hey, you. Tell them my last word, even though all my fans are dead. And you have to tell it to them. You have to say it on the air. This has raised, obviously, a lot of hubbub over the topic of assisted suicide. I've seen a lot of commentators, including guys like Matt Walsh, saying this is the slippery slope towards all our—

To people killing themselves. Yeah. Which has never happened before in the history of the world. Guys, let's be real. I think we've talked about it on this show. If people want to kill themselves and, you know, they're not crazy. I don't like how you... Why? What do you mean?

That part is what bugs me. You always say that. Okay, well, if they're crazy, they can do it themselves. I definitely want them to kill themselves if they're crazy. Okay, but if a doctor... Like, the doctor, I think, is in an ethical quandary if somebody's not in, you know... Why? Because you have to be able to make decisions for yourself. You have to understand the choice you're making.

Why? That's the rule. That's the ethical rule for doctors. How crazy do you have to be? A doctor, you go in there and say, hey, I want to kill myself? The doctor has to make sure. Okay, but what if a little retarded kid comes to you and goes, I want to die.

All right. You got to figure it out on your own. You're too retarded for me to do it. Yeah, you're too retarded for me to do it. You got to do it yourself. So you're saying a woman cannot get any medical care? Because she's too stupid to understand anything. Yeah, none of them understand anything.

We'll make an exception for women. How's that? Guys, the whole point of... Well, no one who's sane would want to kill themselves. What are you talking about? A sane person can want to kill themselves. Not really. You think it's insane to want to kill yourself?

Yeah, and the person who has that shit is dealing with pain their whole life is definitely insane. Chronic pain is making you insane. Makes you crazy. So no doctor can morally let you kill you. I think there's a stretch. I think you can be in pain, and you can make a logical and sound and rational decision to say, I do not want to suffer this pain any longer. I mean.

Doesn't mean you're crazy. You're the one drawing lines in the sand and saying, this is moral, this is not moral. All right, fine. So you're pushing it a little harder than I am. I don't know what the argument is. It sounds like we're both- Just jump off a bridge. We're both in favor of it.

You just want, like, anyone can do it. Because you wanted, like, people to see you as a good person still. No, I'm just being reasonable. I'm being rational and saying- So retarded people can't figure out how to jump off a fucking bridge? Okay. Well, they can't figure out a lot of stuff, so they might have trouble with that, genuinely. You know, they're going to pick, like, a really low bridge, and it's not going to work.

No, seriously, this is why. Because then a crazy person's gonna go Well I'm gonna buy a gun And they're gonna go Well we're not gonna sell you a gun Because you might kill yourself with it And then they're gonna say And actually everybody

We're gonna need you to do a background check Before you buy a gun And that affects me So that's how the liberal fucking rot works Okay but you bring up a good point Like you know, should children be allowed to kill themselves? Required. No. See, that's, you're not gonna

That has to be some common sense limitations. What do you mean allowed? Well, I'm saying, like, with the help of a doctor. If an eight-year-old goes to a doctor and he goes, uh, Billy was mean to me on the playground and I want you to put a bullet between my eyes. What do you mean help? Like, the doctor does it in a way that is the least painful way that it can be done.

No, illegal. That's murder. Okay. So what do you want? You're saying you want it illegal for the kid to choke? Well, the doctor can't inject you with shit. They can in this situation with this lady. Yeah, that's fucked.

Why is that fucked? So the doctor's got to make this? It's like the pussy way out. The problem is assisted suicide. It's not suicide. Okay, I'm against that then. You're against assisted suicide. Well, yeah, because you should be able to order heroin off

Amazon. Sure. It's like, I'm gonna order a drum of heroin. Like, alright, well, it doesn't matter to me what you do with it, right? Right. But going to a doctor, like, hey, will you kill me? And the doctor's like, ugh, now i gotta like think about this shit i'm over here trying to make a buck and i gotta deal with your bullshit fuck this bullshit he wants to relieve their pain is which is the job of a doctor

i mean the job of a doctor is writing prescriptions for opioids. Well, here's the deal, is that medicine is supposed to alleviate the suffering that a patient undergoes, right? But the problem with a patient who's suffering from, say, chronic pain, is that the medicine is actually making it worse by prolonging the amount of time they will experience the pain. You're actually causing harm to the patient by keeping them alive. What? Think about it. A short amount of pain compared to a long amount of pain.

Which is better? It's impossible to say. I have both. Well, the argument would be... I have a short amount of pain all the time. Sure. Well, there's also the problem of cost, Dick. But don't you think that

these people with cancer and whatever are just making a huge like they're just being such a pain in the ass by not just jumping off a bridge and making us do all this. Jumping off a bridge is probably really painful and people survive that sometimes. Oh, who gives a fuck? Then we don't have to always talk about this like, whoa, medical assistance

like, can you just like, can you just go like, go to the take, buy a car and go in a garage and kill yourself? Fuck, man. Why do you guys always need so much attention? Are you dying by not enough attention? Here you go.

You got it. We're having a big national conversation now, thanks to you. And you're dead, so what do you care? But we're just still talking about it all the time. Isn't it better if you can tell your family ahead of time, this is the day it's gonna happen. You have time to, you know, make your peace with me. I thought I was going to my friend's

birthday party that day. I guess I'm gonna go to your suicide. Well, instead you gotta sneak away and throw yourself in front of a train and then nobody knows it's coming. It's this big shocking thing. That's better. That's honorable. Okay. Well, this shit is attention-seeking. It's like a wedding.

I think just people trust their doctor and they want it to be a medical procedure. The cost of maintaining a person who is dying can range from $2,000 to $10,000 a month. And many people do not want to leave their families with crippling debt. Well, thanks to liberal voting. That's a different problem. Okay. The liberal voting isn't going anywhere anytime soon. It costs jack shit liberal voting, that's a different problem. Okay? The liberal voting isn't going anywhere anytime soon. It's going to cost jack shit.

Okay? So this is a way people don't want to prolong their suffering and bankrupt their families. Well, here's something I found interesting, Dick. Of course, you know the Hippocratic Oath for doctors do no harm. Yeah. A lot of people will use that as an argument against assisted suicide because you're killing someone. Yeah, because it's true. You're killing someone. But here's the thing.

It's murder. At least in many countries, they no longer use the Hippocratic Oath. It's no longer considered irrelevant because, for instance, chemotherapy is a form of treatment where you're literally poisoning the person to kill the cancer. Oh, fuck off. So is weightlifting, Vito. Oh, look, I'm hurting myself. I'm hurting myself to make myself better. So suicide is okay.

Medical suicide. It's not an argument. You know, you can't say the Hippocratic Oath is the highest good because occasionally you do have to harm people to achieve. Well, you don't have to shoot them in the head. That's not. Well. That's against the Hippocratic Oath.

That's different. But if you can alleviate their suffering. I just think, look, if people are suffering, they should be able to have new lives. Yeah. Well, they can. Hopefully some of them have houses that reenter the housing market, which would be nice for all of us. Getting bought up by BlackRock, though.

Well, that's what I know. We're not going to get that. Yeah, I know. We've got to stop that. That's a separate problem. Oh. But. If you're doing a suicide

and your death was about attention-seeking like this and not somehow improving the financial situation of the country, then who cares? Well, I have said that I think we need to instill in people

if you know you're dying you know there's obviously some people out there who have done bad things and you're in a position you have nothing to lose have a little fun with it see what happens that would be my advice that's approaching the line it's approaching the line it's approaching the line of youtube egg their car how's that yeah yeah that's what I'm talking about. Egg their house. Yeah. I don't know why we're always... I don't know why this is like a... Well, suicide's illegal.

Yeah, kind of. Isn't it? Yeah. Isn't it a crime? Well, it's not a crime. I don't know. Is it a crime? Yeah, look it up. I should have looked that up. I think it's more... It's not a crime, but you'll get yourself committed if you survive it. It's like you're considered mentally. You are.

They're not going to lock you in prison for trying to kill yourself, though. They should probably maybe just text you a little bit. Who? The government? Somebody. Maybe they could do a matchmaking thing and give your suit number to another suicide attendant. I don't think it's actually illegal to try and kill yourself. Is it?

Suicide is listed as a crime. In their criminal statute. Suicide is a crime in some parts of the world. Some parts of the world. Not in America. In America. I thought it was. Suicide is no longer considered a crime.

Oh, wait. Considered? No longer considered a crime in the United States. Some states have attempted suicide listed as a crime. In their statutes, but they don't prosecute. It's like one of those ones that's been on the books since, like, Blue Law times. Because what are you going to do? Now you've got to go to jail.

You're definitely not going to try and kill yourself in there, idiot. That sounds like what the government would do, yeah. What are you talking about? What do you mean? I think it's one of those things where... It's just as ridiculous that that's for any other crime. I think it's mostly... I don't know if there's any statues still left on the books.

Because it would be defeating. People are so freaked out by it. Yeah, it's... They get real angry about it. They're real angry about the Canada suicide thing. And they also love it. They're also titillated that they can express malevolent rage and violence in a government-sanctioned way. Very bizarre. I wonder why it upsets people so much. malevolent rage and violence in like a government sanctioned way.

Very bizarre. I wonder why it upsets people so much. I mean, the only thing I can say is I can understand the idea that you're afraid the government is going to go to elderly people and poor people and go, hey, if you kill yourself, we'll give your kid 500 bucks. No one's afraid of that. Literally no one on earth

does not want elderly people and homeless people to kill themselves. Or like, you know, like, what do you call it? Mentally disabled people or something. No one. Have you met a person? Well, you and I are different from most. A lot of people claim that they don't want old people to kill themselves. They're worse. Regular people

are worse than us. Yeah, I think so sometimes. I mean, there's some stuff. But yeah, some of the things people believe, I think, are crazy. I, there's some stuff. But yeah, some of the things people believe I think are crazy. I think they're jealous. They're jealous of... The death. They see it and it makes them angry.

I mean... I'm not dead. I want to be dead. Are all your grandparents dead? Yeah. Okay. Did you ever talk to them like, you know, a couple years before they... Like, my grandfather outlived all his friends.

Yeah. So I'd talk to him and I'd be like, so what's been going on? And he'd just be like, well, everyone, all his friends. Yeah. So I'd talk to him, and I'd be like, so what's been going on? And he'd just be like, well, everyone, all my friends are dead. So nothing. He's like, I used to play cards, you know, down at the veterans home or whatever. Can't do that because they're all dead. I used to hang out with this guy. He's dead.

He's like, I got nothing left. Can't go to Friday Night Magic or something like that? Can't go to F&M, play a little? I wish I was at F&M right now. We're going to move this show so I can play stand. I'm gonna put a bell, like a desk hop bell right there. Why don't you put the scale there so every time I hit it

I'm weighing myself. Ding, ding. I'm gonna ding this every time you hit the desk now. Standard's finally getting exciting again. I wish I was playing magic. What was your question about? Talking to grandpas about? Just saying, like, if you're talking to an old person, you're like, I can understand why they want to die.

It's like they got, what are they going to do? It sucks. What about me? What about you, Arnold? I have a worse than them. Yeah, you got a girlfriend. Exactly. She's just nagging.

At least old guys, you know, they might wake up one day. She's gone. Me, I got 40 years or whatever. You know what? I should not bring in death problems on this show because you have no, like your perspective is, yeah, everyone should be dead. We already are. Good.

The sooner you accept it, the better. Why don't we go to Palestine and just see what happens? Because your buddies are not bombing the shit out of it. That's why. Did you see the tweet I reposted where someone's like, look at this Hamas leader hiding like a coward in these tunnels

as his people get bombed. And I'm like, pretty sure if I was a Hamas guy and you were bombing the city, I'd probably also hide in the tunnel. I don't consider that cowardly on any level. I don't know why.

I think that's just logical. Why do you think you're owning the leader of Hamas by calling him a coward? Like, what do you think? He's Marty McFly? He's going to be down in the tunnels and go, what the fuck did this guy get?

I'm going out there. I'm going out there. And then the war's over? And then Israel doesn't need any more war money? Okay. I'm sure once we wipe out Hamas, oh, Israel's just done needing money. Sure, that makes a lot of fucking sense.

You know what the problem is? This goddamn Hamas. That's why they need money. You know what? It was way different when Arafat was around. The PLO was in charge. I should actually use that as my problem. It's the old thing where it's like, oh, those cowards on 9-11.

I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm like, I would never hijack a plane crashing into something. I'd freak out and miss. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, fuck! Shit, I missed it! Shit, I missed it! I missed it! Go around! Go around! Go around! We don't have time I missed it! Shit, I missed it! I missed it! Go around!

Go around! Go around! We don't have time to go around! Let me do it! Let me do it! No! I said I was going to do it! Some comedian got canceled for that way back in the Bush era.

I forget who. For doing what? For missing? For saying, I don't think those guys are cowards. That takes a lot of fucking balls. How could they hide in the tunnels? What, do you want to to stand and get bombed? They're not retarded.

So stupid. Everybody's got an opinion. You want somebody who tweeted that to have to go to a doctor to get approved to kill themselves? That's nuts, man. You've got to think about your actions. Just kill yourself regularly if you want to. I'm saying if you want a doctor's help, like this young lady clearly did. I don't want that.

I don't want doctors getting bothered with this shit. She had so much ADHD, she couldn't focus on putting the gun to her head. Well, then that's too bad, man. She was like, oh, man, what was I doing? I should go play Neopets or something. There's somebody in the waiting room waiting to see that doctor. He's like, well, you know, let me help you kill yourself because it's so fucking complicated. And I'm like, well, I kind of have to

get to a meeting. Why is this bitch taking so long in here? Killing yourself is more complicated than you're making it sound. What if you miss? I've got more bullets. Then you've got to be that guy on Dr. Phil who blew the front of his face off. I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to do it again.

And goes, well, now I've rediscovered my lust for life. Now that I have a pig face sewn on to replace the one I shot off. Love those guys. It's your problem, by the way. Oh, yeah. Breaking a big chip off in the dip.

Yeah. Oh, man. You get a nice big chip, right? Yeah. And you stick it in the dip. Right. Oh, man. It get a nice big chip, right? Yeah. And you stick it in the dip? Right. Oh, man. It's so hard to get big chips these days.

It's like the grapes of wrath out there, Vito. Tell me I'm right. It used to be a pile of big chips, but now you open a brand new chip bag and there's like the shards mostly. You think? They're skimping on them somehow. Somehow it's getting fucked new chip bag and there's like the shards mostly. You think? They're skimping on them somehow. Somehow it's getting fucked up. I have not been analyzing the size of the standard chip. I have. I've been analyzing the chip standard and they're getting smaller somehow. So you pull out a big one and it keeps coming

and you're like, whoa, here we go! And you stick it in the dip and you're like, man, the structural integrity of this chip is not going to hold up. It's not going to hold up. But you think, I don't want to get this dip on my- Well, this sounds like your problem is being reckless with the big chip. You're saying you knew the structural integrity of the chip would not stand up to the dip. You went for it greedily.

You suspect it. Of course. You suspect it. But you don't want to mess up your flow. Okay. Obviously, you don't know anything about that. Dip flow. And you don't want to get Dip on your fingers

So you're like Fuck it I'm gonna do it And you push a little bit And you're like Push a little bit more What kind of dip are we talking here? Any kind of This could happen

No no no Cheese It could be queso dip Different tips have different Viscosities Okay Well French onion

Ruffles and French onion French onion's a tough dip Happens all the fucking time So you end up with just A bowl Of mostly ruffles That French onion. French onion is a tough dip. It happens all the fucking time. So you end up with just a bowl of mostly ruffles. They're a gooey ruffle. Sure. An oatmeal of ruffles and French onion dip.

You can stir it up, though. You can get more. It's disgusting. You're going at it unstirred? Like just all the stuff has risen to the top? I go at it from the jar. So I go, I try to make my fingers like little pincers go in like that. Do you do French onion in a jar?

What is that, the Tostitos? Yeah, it's Tostitos. You know it. You don't have to ask. You know it. They don't do a French onion in a jar though. Yeah, they do. What are you talking about? French onion's a sour cream based dip. That comes in a plastic container. French onion jar dip.

Tell me I don't know Fucking French onion Oh that's like That's not real French onion dip That's like Oh what the fuck What does it say right on it What are the ingredients on this What are you talking about

What are you eating then With plastic Like the one that comes Like it's actual It's like sour cream What is this Sour cream Why do you think it's not sour cream

That's not sour cream Sour cream doesn't go in a jar Open it I don't think that's sour cream cream? That's not sour cream. Sour cream doesn't go in a jar. You gotta refrigerate it after you open it. I don't think that's sour cream. Right there with the ruffles, right? Like I said. Okay, yeah, it's with the ruffles. Why with the ruffles?

Like I said. This is like a rage thing. Yeah, you went real fast past the calorie count. I don't care about the calorie count. I want to know the ingredients. I don't even see them on here. What do you mean ingredients? Chemicals.

Food-formed paste is what it says. Flavored paste. You're eating paste Congratulations Sounds like you're You're criticizing me for my food? Sunflower oil, canola oil Good stuff, good stuff Seed oils, good for you

No, no, no, no Why are you eating this? When you said French onion dip I'm about to have a fucking conniption set When you said French onion Do you know how to make French onion dip? No You get a package of sour cream Like a plastic container When you said French onion dip... I'm about to have a fucking conniption shit. When you said French onion... Do you know how to make French onion dip? No. You get a package of sour cream, like a plastic container, and you get a package of onion

soup mix, and you just mix them together, and then you have French onion dip. I'll just get that. No, this is awful. What is this? It's fine. It's supposed to be sour cream. It's not just like soybean... You...

Wait, are you serious? What do I get? Sour cream? You just get sour cream and a packet of onion soup mix. French onion soup mix. You just mix them together. Onion soup mix? Yeah. Soup? Do you know soup? Why the fuck would I want soup? It's not soup. It's just a powder that makes soup. But you mix it

in with the sour cream and it makes a perfect French onion dip. A powder that makes soup? I brought you I brought you fucking bouillon the other day, remember? And it was powdered. How was it? It was great. Wait, French onion

soup mix? Yes. And then you mix that in with sour cream? Just mix that with a container of sour cream. Okay, same problem. Same fucking problem. The chips are still breaking off all over the place. It's a huge problem.

I just don't feel bad for you because, like, what is... It's like... I'm eating other kinds of salsas. It's not just that. I'm eating also tomato-type salsas. Man, I didn't know that.

Now I want that. It's really good. All right, well... That's how most people... You know, if you look up how to make a French onion dip, they'll say, yeah, just get a thing of... thing God it feels like a fucking ice pick in my back Your back hurting?

Constantly You know what's the worst part? What's the worst part? I saw that big shooting that happened At the Chiefs That Taylor Swift fan that shot everybody Yeah Swifties going Going nuts.

Indiscriminate race. As I'm watching it, I'm thinking, man, if I was lucky enough to be in a mass shooting like that and I could stop them but my back hurt too much and hindered me.

You'd miss your moment. That's a blown opportunity. Yeah. Did they, did those guys, didn't some guys tackle the shooter? Did they get a little? That could have been me.

Could have been you. But if my back was fucked up. But then, what if I tackled the guy, and then I got up and said, and by the way, my back was fucked up the whole time. You'd get his whole estate. No. Men would be impressed by that, but women wouldn't be. Oh, okay.

I don't think. I was going to say you could sue him for your back injuries and take whatever you had. I look like a bitch. Maybe you get the gun. Oh, God, that would be great. Do you think they give you his gun? If you tackle a mass shooter, you get the gun.

You get the gun? I hope so. It's like any video game. You beat the boss. You get his equipment. You got some rings here. That's the law. That's why they put it in the games. Any jewels that happen to fall out of him? Any coins that are rustling around? You don't get his penis. That's not they put it in the games. Wallet. Take a mat. Take your pants. Any jewels that happen to fall out of him? Take his penis.

Any coins that are rustling around? You don't get his penis. That's not part of it. You said you get anything you want. I didn't say anything you want. I said equipment on his person. I feel like you're changing the rules on me. I don't know.

Dick, my problem is one that I think we can all agree with. It's prisoner abuse. This is prison abuse. This is when prisoners are abused. They're in there. This is a huge problem. It's a huge problem. You've already been forced by the state to be locked up.

Yeah. And you're not treated fairly. This was seen at a prison in South Houston, which banned cell phones. The prisoners at the prison, the prison's name is James Madison High School, walked out in protest of the new procedures, which the independent school district told people are partially the result of recent fights on campus. So because... Wait, wait, wait. Where was cell phones banned? Prison?

James Madison High School. Oh, high school. Yeah. Oh, so you're like doing a joke. I thought cell phones were banned in prison. No, they're banned in... I was actually talking about prisoner abuse. Well, I'm also talking about prisoner abuse.

That's the only reason I don't want to go to prison. If they weren't getting abused, I'd be like, yeah, sign me up. Well, we've all been to prison, Dick. That's the point. We've all been to prison. Okay. We were locked up in there. Prisoner abuse.

Prisoner abuse. Are you talking about school? Okay. Feels like prison. Again, the idea is that these children were locked up because they were locked up in this horrible thing called public school, of course, that led to fighting as it would. Emotions are high. Yeah.

You're trapped forever. Yeah. And... Hormones going nuts. Got all kinds of sexy little girls all around you. It's the worst kind of prison. It's horny teenage prison. Anything can happen.

Yeah. Little fight breaks out. What are you going to do if a fight breaks out? You're going to take out your phone. You're going to get a video of it. You have to. A teacher starts losing their mind. It's a money-making opportunity.

You're telling kids not to be entrepreneurs? It's like your body cam. Oh, yeah. I don't want to make a couple thousand dollars in ad revenue selling that footage to fucking WorldStarHipHop or whatever. Is that what was happening? They were recording too much stuff? They were recording too much stuff.

So the school took away their phones. Man, I fucking hate schools so much. They got to stop abusing these kids. These kids are in there. I didn't. All right. The kids are in there. They're trapped.

Okay. They're locked in. Yeah. They found a way to cope with the emotional abuse that you are delivering on to them every day. They said, thankfully, even though I'm trapped in here like a rat, I have a little window to the outside world. I have my cell phone that enables me to

remember that outside of this barred these barred walls, these barred windows, life exists. There's blue sky. I'm in this concentration camp. There's sunshine. I can look outside, maybe think that someday I'll be saved. I can, yeah.

These Nazis. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And we take them away. Yeah. There was one hero. Maybe I can go play Fortnite.

One heroic child named Brendan Depa. Yeah. He had an easy way to escape from the prison he was locked in. It was a Nintendo Switch. Oh, that black guy

that beat that. Come here. That's why I got my channel banned for showing this video and he would just play on his switch and that was his escape from the drudgery of prison life and a horrible evil woman Montanza's high school teacher's aide Joan a dick stole his Nintendo switch bitch Bitch. And Brendan... She's probably going to play with it on OnlyFans. Probably. Or sell it for heroin to give to kids.

I don't know what these prison women are doing, these horrible wardens. Me either, but they're bad. They're bad people. Brendan fought bravely to reclaim his property from this woman. Yeah. And he now faces...

He's now set to be tried as an adult on January 31st. So I guess that's already begun. We should go protest for him. We should. Punishments could rail. Switches in schools. Nate Itch,

this horrible woman, told the New York Post that she wants this six foot, 270 pound student. Body shaming. Body shaming. Body shaming.

She's probably fat as hell. To face the maximum sentence after shoving her down and striking her unconscious body. I mean, I understand the rage he was feeling. Fuck around. Find out. Go ahead and try it. Meanwhile, Depa suffers from severe autism.

He has already served months in jail. And if he gets out of jail, he'll be returned to a different jail anyway. So, why not just let him go back? I should not do metaphor problems on here, huh?

It's clever. It's clever what I'm doing. No one knows what's really happening, though. That's the problem. They'll get it if they pay attention to what I'm saying. I feel like I'm reviewing Super Killer again. Oh, my God. This is horrible, what they're doing to these kids. And again, look, I was a kid.

I remember- Do you remember when- You probably weren't in school for this. When Tamagotchis got big. I was in high school. Took my Tamagotchi away. Oh, who did? One of the teachers.

Let's free this guy. Like the A-team. Then I got a high school. Took my Tamagotchi away. Oh, who did? One of the teachers. Let's free this guy. Like the A-team. Then I got a PSP. I loved that PSP. Took that shit away? Fucking teacher took my PSP away. I mean, they had to give it back eventually. I think I got it back at the end of the day, but I was like, what do you give a shit?

What do you give a shit? I got a bunch of ROMs on here. You're not teaching. You didn't make this stuff up. No. You didn't fucking map out the US. You're not Sacagawea. I don't know why you're so pissed off that I'm not respecting this crap.

Who cares? Yeah, why do they? What is it? Because they got nothing else. You got to listen. Why? Why? Why?

Because you're going to need this. No, you need it because that's all you do all day is talk about this same shit over. No one else on earth cares about this crap. I don't understand why. Like, if I was a teacher, I would go... First of all, it's gonna be anti-Semitic for me to say some of this stuff that you're teaching me right now in 30 years, so where you gonna be then, teacher? The bullshit revolution

was what? I mean, gee, I don't know anymore. I certainly didn't learn that any groups did it in school. Why do you care what the kids are doing? They're not your kids. The problem is it's women. And they feel like... Yeah. They want respect. They're not your kids. The problem is it's women. They feel like they want respect.

They want respect from little boys to respect them because they get off on it. More kids, if they don't have cell phones in school, more kids will be raped by their teachers. That's why they're taking them away. They don't want the kids to record the horrible, rapey

things that they do. Honestly, the schools know they've been fucking around. That's probably why they want to take're taking them away. They don't want the kids to record the horrible, rapey things that they do. Honestly, the schools know they've been fucking around. That's probably why they want to take the cell phones away. All right, take out your cocks. Today we're talking about how trans shit's not funny. Get those fucking cameras away! I mean, I saw, what was it, that Libs of TikTok account was like, why the fuck is this?

And it's like an Asian guy wearing a pink dress walking around the school and I'm like, yeah, well. Cool, nothing funny about that. There's nothing funny about that. I definitely don't want all the kids with cell phones taking pictures of that so we know about this fucked up stupid shit that's going on. Or that they put a, you saw they put a tampon machine in all the boys

bathrooms and the kids just ripped it off the wall. In a boys bathroom, a tampon machine and they ripped it off the wall and put it in the toilet. I'm like, what did you think was going to happen? Okay, come on. What are you, retarded? Well, they're really going to respect the transgender kids. The principal wrote this big email about how he was

never been more horrified in his life. I can't believe it. How would I know about every time a kid stencils a swastika on a door and we got to fucking shut down the school system for it. What are you talking about? You're the most offended. Hey, if I want to make boys go nuts, what do you think I should do?

Oh, throw a tampon machine in the bathroom where there's no cameras or anything? That would be awesome. And tell them that it's for their vaginas and see how they react. I'm sure they'll be very pleased with that. Then send a big email to all the parents so everyone knows how funny it was. Oh no, everyone knows I ripped the tampon

machine off and I shoved it in the toilet. He's not going to react to this, right? They're just going to put it back up and it'll be over, right? Yeah, probably. That's why they're taking the cell phones away. They don't want us to know about all the hilarious jokes that are going on. No shit. That's why they're taking the cell phones away. They don't want us to know about all the hilarious jokes that are going on. No shit. That's true.

Well, I'm going to keep fighting the power. Prisoners, I've been there. I served my time. And solidarity, brothers. Keep those devices. If any woman tries to take them away from you, you have my permission. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

That's sexual harassment. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Say that and record it's sexual harassment Don't touch me Don't touch me Say that and record it Bring a rape whistle Everyone needs to bring a rape whistle to school And if they try to touch your stuff Go

I'm being raped I'm being raped We can't have public school anymore There's no way It doesn't make any sense Well it's prison What do you mean? It's prison

Yeah We have to stop it How do you You would It's prison. Yeah. We have to stop it. How do you? You would never vote for that, though. You and your team would never vote to get rid of. My side has been trying. I don't have a team. I'm not a part of a team.

Vito, you're the most teamist team. No, I'm not. Okay. Just because I didn't vote for Trump, I'm part of a team. Vito's Twitter. Come on with this shit. Vito's Twitter. Come on with this shit. Veto's Twitter. Why are you so offended by this?

You are this guy. Look, what did I do? What did I say? Veto's Twitter. This is true. Veto says, it would be really cool if conservatives could stop simping for Putin. Right. Conservatives stop simping for Putin. A man whoatives, stop simping for Putin.

A man who jails political opponents and has them murdered in prison. Shut up. I already know what you're going to say, so just say it. What do you already know? What do you mean? This is, you're the guy who's not on a team. And you're mad at conservatives who keep saying that they like Putin and they think Russia's great. That they like Putin, who has nothing to do with America.

Putin. That's what they say, yeah. They say they like him. Because he's jailing political opponents. No. Why do you think Trump is on trial right now? I just want you to say straight, flat out that this is something, this reflects on you, by the way. What do you believe Trump is on trial right now. I just want you to say straight, flat out that this is something, this reflects on you, by the way.

What do you believe Trump is on trial for? It's like a tax thing. That's what you think. You think Trump has been, you think they're putting Trump, they're fast tracking his trial through D.C.

with an activist judge and they're trying to get it done as quickly as possible for a tax thing. They're not going to murder him. We'll tell you that. You remember that guy, coach Red Pill? They didn't murder. Who murdered coach Red Pill?

Biden. Okay, sure. Fine. Coach Red Pill is not Biden's political opponent. I'm sure Biden did not orchestrate the death of Coach Red Pill. Why was Coach Red Pill murdered? Because he went to fucking Ukraine and a bunch of crazy Ukrainians fucked with him.

Because Ukrainians fucked with him? Yeah, they put him in prison and they fucked with him. Why'd they do that? Because they're nuts. Why are they running? I mean, they're so nuts. Why are they running the country? Someone's got to run the country, man.

I don't know. Well, they elected somebody to run the country. Yeah, they did a bet. Something happened to that guy, though. He got replaced by somebody else. That's not exactly what happened. Zelensky won fair and square. Just like Biden.

I am just, whatever. You're right. Rush is great. But what is this? What is this simpary for Rush. Rush is great. But what is this? What is this simpury for us? What do you mean, what is this? What is your question? You're saying this is-

A man who jails his political opponents. You're saying this is directly analogous to something that is occurring in America right now. Well, it's analogous except we're Americans and our president is jailing political opponents. Okay, and one of them is Coach Red Pill. No, one of them is Trump. Okay. The political opponent he's jailing is jailing political opponents. Okay, and one of them is Coach Red Pill. No, one of them is Trump. The political opponent is Trump and Giuliani. Biden is jailing Trump. How Giuliani's not going to get...

None of them are getting jail. What are they trying to do with Trump? Explain it to me. How's that? What do you mean explain it? They're trying to put him in jail. They're not going to put him in jail. What are they

going to do with him then? I don't know. Didn't you want to do a traveling show where we're like debating politics? I don't think this is a good traveling show to be honest. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. It seems like you're desperately uncomfortable because you know that you're just a team guy. I'm not a team guy.

These are very different situations. Okay. How? Did this guy try to overthrow the election team guy. These are very different situations. Okay. How? Did this guy try to overthrow the election? Did he say Biden? He did. Did he? No, I'm saying did, uh, did Alexei Navalny, uh, no, he probably did claim election fraud. There probably was.

There probably was in Russia. Yes. Oh, in Russia. Well, yeah, Russia, we have like evidence of the election, yes Oh, in Russia? Well, yeah, Russia we have Evidence of the election fraud Oh, okay You don't have any vans or anything here? What evidence do you have of election fraud here in America?

Can we do a recount? We did note a number of recounts Do we have the machines that we can run tests on? Is there any paper trail or anything like that? Why don't you tell us Why you think the machines are faulty? What has led you to believe this? Well, it's a computer.

That's not good enough. No, no, it is. All computers are vulnerable. Do you have someone who worked on the computer saying, I believe the computers were... You have to assume computers are insecure, unless you do like a forensics analysis on it. Can we do that? So you don't have a single person... Can we do that? If you can bring to me a person who says,

I think something's wrong with the computers and I am in a position. I'm an engineer. I can say, yes I am. Yes I am. I'm not saying you're not an engineer. I'm saying, no, that's not good enough. It has to be someone. Any engineer will say, yeah, it could be faulty. Let's see it. Let's see the programming. Let's see the code.

Let's do a forensic audit on the code. If there was an election fraud in America, you would be able to just figure it out very quickly. By looking at the code? No, there's other ways. How would you see if a computer is faulty by not looking at the code? Well, your guy, fucking Mike

Lindell or whoever it was, can do what he did. How are you not a team guy? This is the most teamist answer in the fucking history of the world. It's that you can just say, hey, if you come forward with evidence of election fraud, you're going to get a million dollars. Okay, let's see the computer that the election was done on. I'll see if there's fraud on it. Can I see it?

Can I see the machine that does the voting to tell you if there's fraud on it? I'm sure it's got everybody saved, right, in an anonymous way, because that's easy to do. Let's see it. Can I see it? I think you would... Yes or no? Hasn't it gone to court? Haven't they gone to court? Okay, bring them to court.

Yeah, you know what happened? Yeah, you lost. Dominion sued them for hundreds of millions of dollars. Because you didn't have any evidence. Oh, is that why? Yes. They made very baseless claims. Like that it's insecure?

Computer's insecure. Yeah, that could be considered a baseless claim. You have to tell us why is it insecure. Because computers are. Okay, so all computers. Let me take a look at it. So then it's no more insecure than any other computer. In which they're all hacked, yeah.

They're all hacked. What happened to Sony? Yes, what happened to PlayStation? Sony, remember that okay look you think sony runs worse computer security than the fucking government i understand uh being concerned about potential election fraud okay but if it occurred people would have to be responsible for it right there would have to be somebody at some chain at some level within the chain, saying, I'm going to orchestrate this election fraud. Right, Biden.

Or, you know, who's ever... The entire Democratic Party, yeah. And if Biden orchestrated this, there would be people around him who know about it, right? Uh, yeah, all of them, they're bragging about it. They wrote a fucking New York Times piece about how they fortified the election. Shut up. Alright, now we're not doing this.

They wrote a giant piece saying yeah, we locked everybody down, we fucked their accounts over, we banned their accounts. I can't believe we're going over this bullshit again. How do you think those people are not I read a New York Times article where they bragged about stealing the election. You didn't read that article.

I did. Did you? Yeah. Okay, what did they do? What do you mean? They banned people, what did they do? How did they steal it? What do you mean? They banned people. They muted people. They stopped their reach. You just said the problem was the voting machines.

Yeah, but you said there would be people involved. People involved. Okay. Everybody at every level is involved in winning. All of them. How do you think Tom Brady cheats? You think Bill Bilicek and Tom Brady? How do you think that works?

They're winning. Why don't you just find one guy? If you find one guy, I'll listen to him. Vito, they're openly bragging about it. Okay. They murdered Coach Red Pill. Which one? Biden?

Fucking Hunter Biden bragging about giving money to his dad? Hunter Biden making $10 million for what? What's he making money for? Why can you not find the one guy who's not bragging? What would he have to say? He would have to say, I was approached by Joe Biden to do this and I felt uncomfortable so I said no.

Why would they say that? Why would they not say that? You don't think there is anyone on this earth who if they were told, will you help me support the election, that they wouldn't say no. They would love to do it. They would sal to do it. You think every single person. They would salivate.

They're champing at the bit to defraud people. Yes. They would absolutely love it. I don't believe that. It's impossible. You're insane. How do you think the mob works? You would need a conspiracy.

Yeah, the mob snitches on people. That's why they have to kill guys. So which guy happened to Seth Rich? Where's he? Seth Rich is not. Wait, where's Julian Assange? Because Julian Assange is in... Who died with the election secrets? Where's Julian Assange? Where is he right now?

He's in my heart and in my soul. Is that a prison? Is he in prison somewhere? Because that's what Putin does, according to you. That was Bush. Wasn't that Bush? They're the same fucking people. They're not. Okay, but why is Trump immune to it then? Why is Trump not part of it? Because.

He's an outsider. Yes. He's a fucking outsider. He's connected to Rudy Giuliani. Rudy Giuliani wasn't on the inside. He's the only president. Rudy Giuliani was America's fucking mayor. How is he not part of the system?

He was buddies with all those fucking guys. He's a mayor. Oh, what the fuck? A mayor of the biggest fucking city on earth With a population Trump Exceeding that Trump's the only guy No war

Why is that This would be No war Why This would be To steal an election It would be an enterprise Requiring so many people

That you couldn't do it What kind of country Do you think we live in We live in a fucking prison People are not going to just go along with election fraud. Vito, it's illegal to have too big of a pipe in your house. You don't think that they have total control over everything that we do? I don't.

Are you fucking kidding? I can't say the N-word online. Or everything gone. You would need to involve low-level people who, if you told them, hey, did you know there's like a million-dollar bounty out there if you have credible allegations of election fraud? They would go, shit, that sounds way better. Have you never seen the people who are bringing fraud up saying like,

yeah, I was at the post office, and they're just pushing ballots that did not come in in time. People jump down their throats and threaten their families and shit. That's illegal. You know, I watched the footage of Sandy Hook and one of the moms who was talking about her kid getting shot, I'm pretty sure I saw her on an episode of 90210. No, it's the exact same conspiracy theory bullshit.

People threatening your family, saying, oh, you're coming forward with evidence. You know, you're in the community and we know where you live. Oh, you mean like... You haven't watched... Just say you haven't watched it. Like Ruby, whatever. Sandy Hook, right.

That's the only thing you fucking people have is Sandy Hook. So like the grandma who got accused by Giuliani of stealing votes, the 80-year-old black woman that Trump said, well, she's a known radical vote-stealing activist. So let me get this straight. You come forward with something and you get sued for $300 million, and it's like, well, why doesn't anyone come forward? Gee, I really fucking wonder.

Just admit it. No, because it's not. It's completely incorrect. You're the teamest guy that there's ever been. Give me any legitimate evidence of election fraud. Okay, Biden won. That's not it. He won in.

It's because it's computers. They use computers. Yeah. Why do you not have one guy? Why the fuck can't you edit? Why would there not be one guy? Why can't you't you edit? Why would there not be one guy? Why can't you investigate any of those computers? There should be a hundred guys.

Are you fucking crazy that you don't think fraud's going on in computers? You had 500 people. It's a closed source. Come forward and go, I think the election was stolen. You go, yeah, why do you think that? Because I saw a guy hold a sign and I couldn't see into the election room the right way. So you think Biden had a bigger turnout than Obama with black people? You think black people turned out more for Biden than Obama?

Just say yes. I'm going to help steal the election. You can't say. See, all of you guys, that's how you're all fucking cheaters. No, this is how you're all cheaters. You won't say yes, but you'll lie and imply about it and joke about it. All of you. You'll watch evil happen, and you won't say yes, but you'll lie and imply about it and joke about it. All of you. You'll watch evil happen and you won't say shit about it because you know saying it makes you look dumb.

You know you can't say yes to that. I'll say it. Yes. I genuinely think more black people. You genuinely think black people turned out for Biden and not Obama. Yes. Okay. I believe that.

I think it was easier to vote. That's on you. Because of the at-home ballots. We made the voting process a lot easier. They all sat home and filled it out easier to vote. That's on you. Because of the at-home ballots. We made the voting process a lot easier. They all sat home and filled it out then. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Why can't we have a voter ID? Why can't you prove this? You've had four years to prove voter fraud. You have not lucked into this at all. Yes, I have. You just wait for it. No, there's so much evidence of fucked stuff that happens, and everybody who brings it out gets hammered by people.

You haven't looked into anything. I have. You just keep saying, where's the evidence? Your evidence is that more black people voted for Biden, so that statistically the election is impossible. If you can't say. It can't possibly have happened. If you can't say, wow, that's weird.

Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. I don't think it's weird. That's insane. I think people really disliked Trump and were motivated to vote against him. You think black people were more, you think black people hated Trump more than they loved Barack Obama? Yes. That's, wow. I think also you had more young people voting.

Black people? Yeah, more young black people showed up. Sure, that makes sense. We should do a show. That's like going around. We can just argue about the election every single place we go. At this point, it's just like,

let's see what you'll say that you think. Because it's on you more than it is anything else. I just want to see evidence. I want proof. I don't think it would be that hard to find. But you don't want to look into anything also. I've looked into any. You can send me anything.

Here's the problem. I go, give me proof. And they go, here's this video. There's proof right here. Here's this video. There's proof right here. Shut the fuck up. Your guy locks up political opponents. There it is. Pro proof right here. Here's this video. Here's proof right here. Shut the fuck up. Your guy locks up political opponents.

There it is. Proof right there. Anytime I ask for proof, you jackasses go, here's this video of an old black lady counting ballots that she took out from under a box. And I go, oh, that's been debunked like a thousand times. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's easy to find stupid shit, but here's the proof right here. You and your guys keep sending me. I ask.

I am perfectly willing to look at anything you guys keep sending me. I ask, I am perfectly willing to look at anything you guys have sent me. I am! You're not! What have I not looked at? You won't even, it's not, it's, What am I missing? Right here!

Would it be really cool if you, Okay, Russia killed a guy. That's what I'm missing. Jailing political opponents. There you go. This is what I'm missing. This is what we have to deal with, with people like you.

Jailing political opponents. This is what you retards do every time as I go, where's the evidence? Well, in Russia this is when the fucking Kraken came out and said a bunch of voting machines got stolen out of Mexico or whatever. Yes! Every part of this has been retarded! And you guys keep fucking moving around

what I need to, oh, but you forgot about this, but you forgot about this. And I go, well, you've hit me with so much bullshit at this point that you've poisoned the well. That you don't care. No, but give me something good. Because you won. You keep giving me pieces of bullshit. I think your mind is poisoned by, like, CSI and Ocean's Eleven. Why did Trump let the Kraken talk about fucking

Mexican or Costa Rican voting machines or whatever the fuck? Who gives a fuck what Lin Wood is? He's the president. He's your guy. Shouldn't I listen to his evidence? Every piece of evidence is Trump's evidence? Yes. Should I not listen to the president? That was Lin Wood's evidence? Yes. Should I not listen to the president? That was Lin Wood's evidence. No.

Trump was on Twitter constantly going Dominion voting systems stole 10 million votes. 10 million votes flipped from Biden to Trump. Dominion's fucked. That didn't happen.

Okay. So show me the forensics in the logs and the computers where it didn't happen. Where did you get that number from? You just gave it to me. No. Trump. Where did Trump get it from? Show, in the computers, where it didn't happen. Where did you get that number from? You just gave it to me.

No, Trump, where did Trump get it from? Show me in the computers where it did or didn't happen. It's not my job. The bank can. If I have an overdraft at my bank, I can say, show me where that's from. And it's like, here, you sent it to Spearmint Rhino last night. I say, I did do that. Show me the fucking, show me.

So you have. Why do you not care? You have suspicions. Why do you not care that the computers cannot be audited? Jesus Christ. They can't be audited. Why do you just not care? Okay. audited? They can't be audited. Why do you just not care? That the fucking voting system can't be audited. Why can you

not say that there is a chance that because I cannot audit the system I am skeptical of the results? Instead you're saying it is 100% factual that fraud happened on computers. Yeah. 100% factual. But 100% if all fraud was cleared up who would have won the election?

I have no idea. Okay, so it's just up in the air at this point. What the fuck kind of question is that? I'm saying- Can I audit the fucking computers or not? Who gives a shit? You want to know what the outcome is so you can go, ha ha, see, you actually don't know. We ran fucking audits. We did Maricopa County or whatever the fuck, and they went through it and they recounted every vote.

Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted? Did they audit or they recounted it? Which one? Audit, recount.

Which one? You can't say. You never admit shit. It's so fucking aggravating talking about this stuff because you guys do not fucking care. The only thing you care about is that you win. All right. How's your- The only thing you care about is that you win. All right. How's your...

The only thing you care about is that you win. Welcome to Dick's election soapbox. Was it an audit or was it a recount? I believe it was an audit. Okay. Because the other one would be what? Bullshit. Sure.

You win. You're right. Team guy. Ultimate team guy. You know what? I stole the election. Ultimate fucking team guy. I stole the election. Ultimate team guy. I am completely blind. Ultimate team guy You know what I stole the election Ultimate fucking team guy I stole the election Ultimate team guy

I'm completely blind Ultimate team guy I should just believe that You know Oh it was probably stolen Cause computers Yeah Anything can happen

On a computer Well yeah Okay Do you not think so What's your experience With computers Is it better than Your experience

With common core Try to end this bit Alright I'll just It's not a bit Alright you're right You win What's your experience with computers? Is it better than your experience with Common Core? Try to end this bit, all right? I'll just give it. It's not a bit. All right, you're right. You win. What? Do you want to dress like a pirate now?

No, I don't. Are you actually upset? What are you talking about, am I actually upset? It's crazy dealing with you fuckers. All right, Here you go. Here's a fucking voicemail. The biggest problem

in the universe is fat guys who are so obsessed with goddamn Disney that they can't let it go. Anyway, go fuck yourself.

That's true. That's very on point. I don't know if they're all fat though but they can't let Disney go. There's a lot of Disney adults

that are a problem. All right. My ex-girlfriend keeps trying to get me to get that Disney pass where you can go them, but they can't let Disney go. There's a lot of Disney adults that are a problem. Alright. My ex-girlfriend keeps trying to get me to get that Disney pass where you can go whenever you want. To Disneyland? Yeah. Do you want that? I don't think I would go enough for it to matter. How much would you go?

Two, three times a year. Yeah, that's too much. I've only ever been that one time. Oh, to Disneyland? Yeah. I've been to Disney World when I was a kid. No, you don't want to drive down there twice a year. Fuck that. Yeah, Anaheim.

It's the same thing every time. I mean, I get, like, I don't know. They do events or something. I get it, like, for people to get the pass. It'd be a fortune, though. It costs a lot to eat there and everything. Yeah. Parking's $40.

You know what's stupid? All right, here's stupid. I go on, like, TikTok sometimes. I'll be scrolling. They're like lot to eat there and everything. Yeah. Parking's $40. You know what's stupid? Alright, here's stupid. I go on TikTok sometimes. I'll be scrolling. They're like, here's my Disney hack, and it's them like, what food they snuck into Disney to have a shitty meal. I'm like, this is... You gotta plan what food you're just... Like a prison. They're like, look, I can make a little pizza.

I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, they're making prison wine at Disney. Alright. So, I have to fucking totally agree with Dick on this one. I mean, I normally do, but he's a fucking retard half the time. Thanks. Love this show. If I get a text message from somebody and it comes out green, I immediately just think

less of you. I don't care who the fuck you are. Like, my father, I love my father. He's the smartest man I know, one the best men I know But his texts are green Ah Oh you Apple guys Are retarded Fucking

It's just Green is sex Fucking Apple And you know That's just top of the line You can't see when you're typing Yeah that's right You can charge me

It's like It doesn't go You don't know if it went through or not Oh my god You don't though Disgusting Thank you Fuck you

Bye Alright thank you You and your closed ecosystem You have to trust Big daddy Apple to tell you what apps you're allowed to use. Well, they can tell us where the messages went, you know. How are you arguing for, we got to open the computer system and see what's going on, but also I want to make sure my Apple device is a locked down thing and I have no control

over it. Apple's on BSD, I think. Unix, some version of Unix. It's the most open source show. If Apple ran our elections, would you be happy? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Let's just do that, then. Apple voting machines.

But we can't, because if we had elections where the votes mattered, liberals would lose all the time. Is this really a big thing for you? Voter enfranchisement? You might get Trump in this time. Just vote more. More of you guys got to vote.

Dude, liberals have totally destroyed the country. It's like... It's not destroyed. It's the absolute dregs that vote liberal, too. Okay. All right. What is the last one? Last one.

The biggest problem in the universe Is spitting your drink out All over your steering wheel While Vito unboxes his booty 10 out of 10 Fuck you Vito Fuck you, why do you have to say fuck me I hate you people

Alright, that's it Well, it's reminding me to bring up election fraud every episode, we can spend an hour on that Don't worry, you guys are going to steal the next one too I'm sure it'll come up again Well, what are you going to do? Guys! You just got to keep cheering for it

Okay, Biggest Problem bonus episode Biggest Problem in China, now available on Patreon.com slash Biggest Problem and back.by slash Biggest Problem bonus episode. Biggest Problem in China now available on patreon.com slash biggestproblem and back.by slash biggestproblem. Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. And Dick will be back. I don't know. If you find another Canada Dry, I'd take one.

Diamond G for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Diamond. Moon Milk for a big 10. Hey, are my super chats working? Because I keep missing the read given work's been nutty. Like enough that a random warehouse flooded. Lol. Can I

model the Ricky top once mine arrives? Send us, honestly, if you have any Biggest Problem merch that you've bought from the store and you send me a picture of you wearing it, I will potentially add it to the website because I can add images. If you would like to be a model on Killdozer.industries, get all

your Biggs Problem merch. Get the Ricky Retardo shirt. I will have the one that says Ricky Retardo for those of you who do not care how you are seen in public. James Gardner for a big 20 says, you're welcome but I wouldn't kill myself before the show. That would be dumb. Have fun and thank you too. Thank you for not killing yourselves, James.

Jay Thompson for five. Tell the Danny Masterson prank show story from 68. You said you would tell us later and never did, Vito. Also talk about heel versus baby face. The Danny Masterson prank show? Yeah, I was on a prank show, and I'll never be able to see the footage again because it was hosted by Danny Masterson

that particular episode. That sucks. So it's been completely wiped from... I was the lead-in see the footage again because it was hosted by Danny Masterson that particular episode. That sucks. So it's been completely wiped from. I was the lead into the prank, though. Like, I brought my friend who was being pranked. What was the prank? The prank was that there was some really hot women. And I told him that these are some cool Hollywood producers I met.

Hey, Miggy. Who are going to help us get, like, scripts made. And we have to go meet with them. And then one of them, the black one, took me in the other room to go bang, and then she started talking to my friend. The problem is that the women were not briefed by the producers correctly, so they're like, yeah, we met your friend on the plane. We're airplane stewardesses.

And he's like, oh, he told me you guys are like producers in Hollywood. And they're like, yeah, that too. Great. So they almost couldn't use his footage because he got like 20 minutes. Then the husband comes home and he's all pissed off. And my buddy had to pretend to be a gardener. And he goes, is this like a prank show? And they're like, god damn it.

It was on YouTube. Maybe somebody can find it. I think it was called- So Danny Masterson was doing a sex prank show? That seems like pretty risky. Yeah, well, we never even met Danny Masterson, so I think all that was added in post, is that we did the bit, and then it cuts to him in the control room like, yeah, yeah, say this.

And I'm like, oh, I don't think he was actually there at all. I think they just said like, oh, pretend you're there, telling them what to do. Jacob for two. Yarhar Fiddle DT. Being a pirate is all right to be. Yolanda Finkelstein for five. Can we get some pirate stats? You should bring in pirate stats.

Sacred Axe for ten. Thank you. Influence History for two. Can we pay $50 more to add another toy to the box? No, because I put it in before the show. Okay. So it's sealed. We can do 50.

Maybe we can give out some clues or something. Yeah, maybe there's a clue situation. Maybe I could have two boxes and you can upgrade. Maybe I'll let you guys pick which box, A or B. See, this is why I said the problem with the bit is there's a lot of different ways it could go. I think you really need to sit down and think. Oh, yeah. People saying this is the best podcast that I've ever listened to in my life,

and I almost crashed my car, but I really need to think it out. Okay. Human Dynamo for five. It will open the box, and it's going to be... Oh, you almost got me. A TB fairy-type Pokemon pop figure. That was close. Utah-based Armenian for two.

Oh, you missed a TBF on the last episode. I know. Please punish yourself. I don't have that sound clip. Great. Of course you don't. I don't know where it went. We'll find it.

Utah-based Armenian for two. You know what's funny? Wait, wait, wait. Maybe I can find it. I think I knew you missed it during the show, but I didn't want to say anything. Oh. Because I wanted the fans to shame you. Here it is.

I remembered saying it and going, I hate ass. You hate ass. God, I hate that fucking stupid niggler, you idiot. He did a good job. Here, I got it. I'm going back to the Super... Oh, you're going to move it to the soundboard.

I hate ass. Hey, we got two of them. All right, I got it. I got it. I got it. Well, Dick Podzinski wants to give us $50 to say hoist. Penisecki. Penisecki.

Penisecki. Oh, it's a classic. Is that Jewish, that name? It says hoist the Jolly Richard. Yes. Ored the Mizzen Masterson. All right. And set sail for Pito's pretty.

Time for pirate costume. You're going to put on the costume every time. What are you talking about? I'm so happy. 14 pat for Sakuki's 1,000. Just send us American money because I don't know if I'm excited about this or not.

I'm going to assume it's a dollar. Hello Dick and Vito. I love you. Let you write the big message. Oh, Czech Republic. Well, maybe it's a lot of. Oh, Czech Republic. Czech Republic. Well, maybe it's a lot of money in the Czech Republic. So I'll say congratulations. Hello, Dick and Vito.

I love you both. Dick inspired me to be as drunk as often as I can. And Vito helped me lose around 60 pounds. Wow. Even if I lost more than you, Vito, you are still my inspiration. I thank you a lot for my inspiration. Love you both. Ahoy from Czech Republic Thank you

Unless that's not very much money Well, I don't know what it is It's probably a dollar Tempanon for two, thank you DiamondG for ten says Dick missed a TBF last week Vito slipped it in because there's a dick bite that is to be played I wasn't the only one that noticed

Someone's got the audio Yeah, I take your word for it I'm pretty sure I did. Tempanon for five. Oops. Dick should use everything for file searches. Searches leaks faster and across your whole system compared to Windows built-in search. Is that an app that you're saying?

Everything? Everything. Yeah, and I've not heard of them. Wakata Kat... Wait. Wakata Kawakata. For five Australian. They call him Vito Giswaldi because he tries to veto all the best Wakata, wait, Wakata, Kawakata. Wakata, Kawakata. For five Australian. They call him Vito Giswaldi because he tries to veto all the best bits on the show.

Don't laugh at that. Cody Titus for 10. You guys touched on it a bit last episode, but the reason streaming services seem to recycle the same crap is because the parent company of Netflix also owns Peacock. I know what he's doing. Tubi, also Fairplex, and Max. Good catch.

That was clever. That was good. Let's run with your idea for 10. Episode 31 with Nick Ricada at 7.35. There was a missed TBH. You mean TBF? Wait. Oh, that's for you.

There you go. Yeah, Vito doesn't need to pay. Dick has to pay for it. Take your word for it. J-Lo for five British pounds. After all of Vito's pet-o community controversies, we've got TBF to Vosh. Yeah, but Vosh is a hypocrite. That's the worst part.

That is the worst part. That is the worst part. He's obviously getting off to horse lolly shit. A bunch of it. He had a bunch of it. And then he goes, like, I thought it was goblins. No, you thought off to horse lolly shit. A bunch of it. He had a bunch of it. And then he goes like, I thought it was goblins. No, you thought it was fucking lolly. So you're telling me that

it's cool to you. If it was a goblin. That you're getting off to a horse fucking a goblin, but like a horse and a lolly, like that's real? You're saying, oh, I thought it was a horse and a goblin. I was like, oh, well, there's no goblins, so that's fine. Also, you jerked off to it.

So that means that you didn't have a problem with it then, but it became a problem later when you thought maybe it might be a pictorial representation of an underage anime girl. It's not real. So why was it okay before you knew that information? And yeah, the problem is that he has all these other tweets where he goes, well, anyone who's looking at this

is a danger to children and blah, blah, blah. So if you're just reading a story of like, oh, lollies are fucking a horse, it's like child porn. Guys, just go on Bing. You can generate all the lolly waifus you want. But he called Mr. Girl a pedophile over and over. He called Mr. Girl a pedophile a bunch. He called other people a pedophile,

and he's looking at, honestly, worse shit than Mr. Girl. Mr. Girl doesn't even look at any of that shit. Yeah. Mr. Girl's got that Shailen chick And he treats her horribly Isn't it obvious that None of these people online care about Actual pedophiles

It's like a clout contest It's so obvious Well you said we should bring it up We'll touch on it briefly But last week you were getting attacked By a bunch of these comic guys I was? Yeah because you said one of their comics was late but last week you were getting attacked by a bunch of these comic guys and they're these guys you go oh vetoes yeah yeah because you uh you said one of their comics was late because they were fucking

with me and calling me a criminal a sex criminal or whatever oh i uh i hope i also said it was bad because all of their comics are bad i'm like look i'm not gonna shade other creators but after them going i don't think veto should uh nobody in comics gate should be friends with veto he's a dangerous guy and he could hurt our community it then uh was uncovered that one of the guys who's drawn like a bunch of their covers and comic books was a genuine like like on the sex offender registry raped a bunch of 14 year old molester like an actual child molester really not like a might be child molester like a served five years in jail for raping a 14 year old that's who they hired and they're giving me shit and they're giving a bunch of kitty raper fucker uh payers

look how much for him to do a cover for you i'm willing special special cover how much from jail stop i'm willing to accept that you probably didn't know. They did know. Of course they knew. Regardless. They looked at his art and they didn't know he was a child rapist? That's crazy. I don't know.

Okay. Let me see what he drew. But why don't you guys worry more about actual sex criminals? Instead of paying them their rent. Instead of going. Funding their child raping expeditions to Thailand. had this tweeter be to a I don't even fucking know what was this guy's name seems Vic King was his comic name Vic King the problem is his name that he raped people under is under we probably find it on

that guy's Twitter who is this that's grift this is the guy who was saying he they did a stream because they said Dick Masterson hates indie comics and Vito. Is this Vic King right here? Official statement on the Vic King. Yeah, but is this his art? I don't know if that's his art. It must be. He's saying, I'm sorry, I hired a child molester and posted his art?

That's what's confusing. I'm like, did you post his art? Well, hold on. I saw his art. It's not good. Well, let me look at it. Look up Vic King art and did you post his art? Well, hold on. I saw his art. It's not good. But let me look at it. Look up Vic King art and you'll find his art page. Vic

King art. I think he had a page for it. Did he take it down? No, it would still be Vic King Put comic. Put the word comic. Comic. Vicious Ink Comics. That's his Twitter, so there'll be a bunch of his art on there unless he's smartly privated his account by

now. No, he hasn't because he's like an old man. This is Vic King? This is Vic King, yeah. Obvious child molester. Some of it's way worse. No, no. If they didn't know.

Child molester. Scream child molester. Okay. Even more child. That's the most child molester. Okay. Even more child. That's the most child molester I've ever seen. Oh, I shouldn't be playing this because it looks so obvious that a child molester made this and they hired this obvious child molester and they're giving me shit. Oh.

Again, look, I'm going to say you probably didn't know that you hired a child molester. They obviously did. And now they're all saying, you know, we're going to vet people and we're going to check backgrounds and make sure it doesn't happen again, which is great, and that's fine. So they let all the child molesters know that they're going to be vetting them? That was dumb. They should have said, now we're definitely not on the lookout for child molesters.

Then you could have found them more easily. Point is, guys, there's like actual child molesters. There just are. Bro, you're telling me this is not... Why don't you get mad at those guys? Bro, this is fucking- Not Mr. Girl. Look, this is an obvious-

Child molester drew this. Are you kidding me? Get mad at actual child molesters. Like, I'm mad at actual child molesters. Why? Because they molested a kid. That's awful. Don't say why.

They went to prison. They did their time. Well, even still, it's still a terrible fucking thing they did, and some of them didn't serve their time. Honestly, my. Don't say why. They went to prison. They did their time. It's still a terrible fucking thing they did and some of them didn't serve their time. Honestly, my back, the way it is, I don't give a shit. That's dick. My back hurts. Fine. That's your opinion. I don't care.

Cure cancer, molest kids, don't care. I disavow all of that. But there's actual bad people in the world. You should worry about them. Yeah, they stole an election. Sure. Be worried about them as well, they stole an election. Sure. Be worried about them as well. And they're all, you know what? All those guys are probably child molesters.

I won't argue that point. What do you think about Biden always sniffing kids and saying weird- Gotta stop sniffing them. Yeah, what's that? I'm going to say he just likes good smells. Kids don't smell good. They got these berry scented shampoos now. I don't fucking know. They're not kids are.

They smell disgusting. I don't know why. They got these berry-scented shampoos now. I don't fucking know. They're not kids' artists. They smell disgusting. I don't know why he's sniffing kids. Every time I'm at my nephew's house, I'm like, I got a fucking walking stick. Get the fuck away from me, man. You stink. I don't know. Maybe he just likes the smell of hair.

Maybe it's just the hair thing. But only little girls. It's not only little girls. It's adult women as well. So you're teaming up? You see what a fucking team man you are? Look, Biden's a weirdo. He's not helping you. I know.

I know. No one's helping me. Trump's not helping me either. Trump would have helped you big time. How? Money. Not really. Taking it from China.

Building a wall. Have you seen like the 10,000 Somalians that are pouring over the border? You think that's good for you? You think those guys give a fuck about your values? Honestly? I think both sides don't give a fuck about me or my money or whatever. I think they both exist to protect rich people. I just happen to think that the Republicans exist to protect rich people a lot more than the Democrats do.

And you think Trump is just like straight up Republican? Like you think he's the same as the GOP? He's like... Because I hate the GOP. I'll never vote for them again. After Trump, I'll never vote again. I don't care. I think he... The problem is he's friends with a lot of guys and I think he's loyal to a lot

of those guys. He didn't drain the swamp. Well, you know, everyone was fucking with him quite a bit. What was the best thing he did? The China shit? China shit he did great on. I got fucked on that, too. Why?

New tariffs on board games and card games. I can't print. Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. I can't print trash. For a moment, I thought I was talking to someone serious. No, no, I'm serious. Like, honestly, that almost, what do you call it? Almost bankrupted you?

I worked for that company that prints shit, and and like printing costs, I think, went up. Yeah. NAFTA, get rid of NAFTA, get rid of the TPP. No wars. No war funding, man. Trillions of dollars that everyone else gives to wars. Trump said no, just assassinate people if you don't like them. That was great.

Fucking wall. You don't think we need a wall? I understand the no war spending. I get it. What about the wall? Yeah. That was great. Fucking wall? You don't think we need a wall? I understand the no more spending. I get it. What about the wall? You've got to support the wall. Is the wall more cost efficient than just hiring more border patrol guys? It seems like they can just get around that fucking wall.

Nah, because we put the border guys on the wall. So you've got to hire border guys anyway. Just get them a bunch of fucking vans. Yeah, but you can't defund a wall. Okay, but I'm saying once the wall's built they'll just cut through the fucking thing takes a while I saw you guys crawling through the fucking fun tunnel at the fucking barbed wire It's harder to crawl through shit You can do drowns and shit. You know we got to stop this immigration right?

Can we set up an immigration like fun wall you get to pick one of four slides? American Gladiators. One of them goes... Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Right? You get through? That's fine. You don't want millions of...

I agree with stopping immigration. I agree with you on that. Okay. Then you're pro-Trump. That's it. I'm pro-stopping immigration. That's his only thing. It's not his only thing.

What else does he have? Immigration. That's his only thing. It's not his only thing. What else does he have? Again, for me, it really just comes down to the economy. And it's always just the second those guys get, they always promise, I'm going to build the wall. I'm going to do all this. And I know you're going to say the Democrats stopped him.

Yeah, he's starting. Sure. No, the GOP was stopping him. I'm going to, whatever, the swamp's going to get cleaned up and get rid of all the cronyism and all the lobbyists. And the second they get in there, the first thing they do is they're like, and I'm slicing the top 10% of taxpayers. I'm cutting their taxes in half. Well, that's good.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I am going to hit the fucking table for that. That's the worst thing. That's all they want to do. That's the first thing they do when they get in there. You don't need all this money. America doesn't need any money. They just print it. Why do you need anyone's money? Why is there taxes at all?

I hate you. Why? Tell me. If we revisit this topic again, the show's gonna go for another 10 million years. We can't pay off the debt. Just make more money. Who cares? Alright, fine. Just keep mentally preparing for your stupid pirate bit,

and let's get through this, okay? I don't need to mentally prepare for my bit. You're already there. I forgot the words, though, a little bit. I know you did. Lemon trashy for two. Vito is antagonizing Kiwi Farms with the crocked picks. That is correct.

Yeah, but then you cry about how it's like you just want to be a nice guy on Twitter, and then you're turning a new leaf, but then the next day you're like... I don't think it's possible for me to be a nice guy anymore. I don't think it's possible. Yeah, yeah. Everyone's driven me insane. Antagonist for five. Hey, this is my 20th Super Chat, Vito.

Post your cats on my server or else I'll send you something really cool, but pay Dick to destroy it regardless. Oh! Can't add new rules. Riley for 10. Look, I don't always remember to post cats in a fucking Discord server. I'm sorry. I'll try to remember. That guy sent a song.

Antagonist. We gotta play it. Oh, at the end of the show? At the end of the show, yeah. As he presents, this is Clipiverse, who says horses, bunnies, turtles, chickens. Cut. Oh, those are Clippers. And then a dartboard

Dude The Clip-a-verse channel With Riley and Mint Is the best content Okay but why am I on Riley's fucking dartboard So am I What do you mean

No you're not Yeah I am You're on the dartboard Yeah there's a balloon of me That they pop Oh okay What are you fucking You don't belong there

I thought I was an enemy Of the Clip-a-verse Not you Maybe you are I don't want to be Maybe I am At the Clip-a- you. Maybe you are. I don't want to be an enemy of the Clipperverse. Why? Somebody told me Riley's mad at me because I was nice to...

Who's the Earthworm Jim guy? Doug TenApple? Yeah. Well, you fucked up. I wasn't nice nice to him. I just went on the stream with him. I wasn't going to tell him he's a piece of shit. Look, if you've crossed Riley, that's your business.

I was trying to get Doug TenApple to give me a back of the book quote for Superkiller, and I think he gave me one. What was it? Something like if you... You need a second draft? It was like, no. It was like, I don't know what Superkiller is, and you should find Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Doug TenNapel. Yeah. That's pretty funny. Queen Maeve for five. Vito just doesn't like smartwatches because they don't fit around his large wrists. I have very dainty wrists. Come on. Elon Bust for ten. How many chins is Vito just doesn't like smart watches Because they don't fit around his large wrists I have very dainty wrists Come on Elon Bust for ten

How many chins is Vito hiding under his beard? Fuck you It's a compliment One chin is masculine Two chins double the masculinity I think if I shaved for this it would be horrifying Virgil collapsed for ten pounds Dick was just giving Vito a lesson in confirmation bias

During last week's booty Oh what's going to be in it tonight? Boys and girls? Is it another mother? Is it another mother's smell? It's not that. Pill pen 15 for two. Oh, I got a clue.

Podcasts where people play D&D suck. Terrible idea. I think next month we're going to try and do a D&D bonus episode. You can say they suck. Those podcasts are making a bajillion dollars, so somebody's watching that shit. So are chicks showing their assholes on OnlyFans. Yeah, but they're not coming on here. I mean, I guess they could. Well, I mean, my point

is, like, just saying someone's making money on it is not a reason to do it. I think a D&D bonus episode would be fun. Why? Because we get to... Oh, I don't know. Do you want to pretend to be a fantasy character, Dick? You would never do that, right? Talk to your fucking pirate, you retard.

John Doe for five. Hire Crimsel for biggest problem. No. Sam Tums for five. Not much at the moment, but love you guys. Hope you're both doing good, and go fuck yourself. Thanks, Sam Tums. Good to see you.

JJ for five. Biggest problem in the universe is car thieves. Please send this super chat to Camelot so he can catch an Uber home. Oh, Camelot. Wait, did they steal his car? They stole his truck. He didn't qualify for Daytona, and they stole his truck. So he had to cry right out in the parking lot.

He couldn't even hide in his truck after he lost. They stole his truck? That's what he says. Probably just trying to distract people from the fact that he lost Daytona. Stole his truck in the parking lot for the racing thing? Yeah, for the qualifier. Dude, that sucks. Yeah.

That really sucks. Yeah. I bet that guy had a pretty nice truck, too. Why? I don't know, because he seems like a car guy. He's into car stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it does.

It does suck. Sucks. Now I feel sad. All right. a car guy. He's into car stuff. Yeah, it does. It does suck. Sucks. Now I feel sad. Suit for five. I got my car stolen. It sucks. Suit for five. Vito, is your comic worse than Isom? Can Dick rewrite it for us? Dick, is my comic worse than Isom? No.

Is it the same as Isom? I mean, if you ever find yourself in a position where you're saying what Eric July has ever said, you got to rethink. You got to move differently. Yeah, Dick gave me shit. He's like, you're saying exactly what Eric has said. Randy gave you that shit, not me. I think you guys should read the new version.

Flample for five. Half the reason this show is great is because there isn't a three-minute DraftKings advertisement in the middle. Oh, we're working on that. Yeah, we're going to try to put some ads in. Yeah. You a three-minute DraftKings advertisement in the middle. Oh, we're working on that. Yeah, we're going to try to put some ads in. Yeah. You know.

Hey, guys, we got to pay the bills. Stratergy for five. Vito, Dick knows what it is, and what it is is what it is. Stratergy for five says the same thing. Stratergy for another two says, I almost forgot, Truxme. Truxme. Don't forget the Truxme shirt available now from Killdozer. That's a good shirt. You got to own a Trucks Me shirt.

Yeah. You got it, man. I got to get one. I think I forgot to get one. Chick sees you in that. She's like, ooh, not a pedophile. I did get my Ricky shirt, though. Yeah, that's a good one, too.

I love it. I think the colors are. See, you were all worried that the printing is going to suck. This looks great. Yeah, it's print-on-demand. I saw you have a new shirt. I do. America's Wingman?

No? No, that's old. Oh, you just reprinted it? That was the first shirt I ever made. Yeah. I put it on print-on-demand. Some people like it. Yeah, the print-on-demand stuff looks great.

You just don't make as much money, but it's fine. You get a little something. It's fine. It get a little something. It's fine. It's for the fans. Johnny Rockin' for 5S. Tom McDonald drank a smoothie of cum and diarrhea. He said it was a street thing. Well, we'll ask him about that. That's interesting. Did he? Did he write a song,

a rap song about it? Maybe Ben Shapiro and him could tell us all about it. Probably Matt Walsh rapping about not getting cum stuck in your beard. Two Socks Calzini for 10 Canadian. It's become abundantly clear that the best part of the show is anytime Dick loses it on Vito and bashes him relentlessly. No, no.

No, no, no, no. Maddox would never put up with this. Thank you for being professionals. Yeah, that's true. He wouldn't. We were talking about how the best part... He would throw a fit and say and just look like look at Sean and go, stop. We need to stop. We need to stop.

We need to take a break. Well, it's like I said. Like a retarded person. Right. Did you guys have to take breaks during episodes? Yeah. When things got too heated? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Wow. We did during that, the one where I said, women should expect. To get. Guys are going to violate them if they are not. Violating. Yeah. He stopped are not. Yeah. He stopped the episode.

Yeah, he goes, that's a big foul. You can't say that. I was like, what? Isn't the show that we argue? They absolutely should. Isn't the show arguing? Koof for two.

Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Well, it's definitely not to format. Yeah. I said on the last show, we agreed, it was a great moment where I said, Hey, Dick, insult me. Call me a fat piece of shit. And you refused to play along.

That was good comedic time. That's the most insulting thing I could have said. I know. Yeah. And it was a perfect example of me trying to illustrate something and you making me feel stupid by illustrating the opposite. That's just good comedy. Put me in a no-win situation.

Bob's the man for 10. Dick and Vito, did you hear about the cop in Florida who heard an acorn fall on the top of his car that emptied his clip at the guy in the back of his car? Vote up Dick's censored cop problem. Did you see that video? Yeah, it's hilarious. I don't think it's hilarious. I was terrified. I'm like, is he actually shooting a guy just like locked in the back of his patrol car?

Yeah. What the fuck? Somehow that guy did not get hurt or something? Well, the cops also have bad aim. Yeah, they have terrible fucking aim. Shots fired, shots fired. An acorn strikes his car, like pings off. Like he never heard of it.

He breaks his car and like pings off. Like he never heard of it. Ah! Ah! Ah! And he's like just, and then he just empties his gun at a car with a suspect locked in the back. Like what the fuck do you? He probably thought that the suspect was being freed like Red Dead Redemption 2.

Yeah, exactly. Someone else came along. Oh, there's fucking sugar duchess on top of me. We gotta get out of here. Ah! Fire up the steam mule. If that guy gets a job in another police department, please vote up my problem that Dick negged me on for some reason. LJ Claberino for two. What's the worst job you've ever worked at?

Dick. This one. It's not a job. Shut up. Not for you. What is the worst job I ever had? I got a job briefly introducing people to a new checkout scanner at the supermarket, and I quit after a day because it was just me standing at the front and going,

hey, while you shop, do you want to take a scanner around with you and scan items as you put them into your thing? And they'd go, no, that's retarded. I'll just do it at the end. And after eight hours of not convincing anyone to use the thing, I went, yeah, it is retarded. I don't want to be here. Clip Sama for two. Post a video of you stealing magic cards already. No. Yeah, what do we have to do for that?

Well, it's only a picture. And I don't know if I still have the picture. We can animate it with AI. Yeah, we can animate it with AI. Animate this shit. It's not that interesting. Animate this so cops bust in and tackle this guy. I wish it was video, because you would have heard my excellent bullshitting.

I scanned it. Look at the receipt. Look at the receipt. It's not on here, sir. Well, your fucking machine's broken then. You know, you figure it out. Let's go steal some stuff tonight. Why not?

My girlfriend's out of town. Let's go steal some magic cards. I've done a shoplifting adventure. Big heist. Nah,, you figure it out. Let's go steal some stuff tonight. Why not? My girlfriend's out of town. Let's go steal some magic cards. I'd go on a shoplifting adventure. Big heist. Nah, we'll get too big. Yeah. When I was, uh, at one point, me and my friends, we had a shoplift to fly on. It was whoever stole the most dollar amount in one day. We had three different stores.

What were they? We went to, like, the Hobby Lobby. No, not Hobby Lobby, because they're actually really good at getting, it was like whatever the other one is. Target. And Barnes & Noble. Books? Books. You nerds were stealing fucking books?

Oh, I stole a shit ton of comic books back in the day. And they say the comic industry's dying. You've seen my stealing coat. Wait, no, that's not my original stealing coat. My original stealing coat, I sewed a pocket into it. Oh, my God. And it went all the way across the coat so I could just toss something in. But then I eventually, you've seen my other stealing coat.

What's wrong with you? Shoplifting is really fun. Sorry, I keep hitting the table. I've stopped. Look, I used to be really poor, okay? You know, there's a period of time where- That doesn't mean you could steal other people's stuff. I know, but-

Comic books. I wanted comic books and magic cards and bullshit. I used to be poor. I used to be really- So I could steal stuff. Hey, you know, you see something you want. Now what's your excuse? Stealing magic cards.

I come from- It's my culture, I come from poverty Yeah, you're a target They want you to take one thing I've given them so much over the years They've said, didn't they do a study It's like 60% of people steal from the self-checkout At this point, if you're not stealing from the self-checkout

60? Yeah Where'd they do the study? 60% of a certain generation, from ages whatever They did the study in Watts. I'm just saying, it's like really, it's catching on. Wendy's chili in my blunt for two Canadian. Never thought Dick would be an Apple cultist. It's not a cultist, it's just good equipment.

It's a cult. It all works together. And with your family, you could look at a map and, oh, that's where my dad is. All right, he's fine. He didn't fall off his fucking bicycle again. Gardner for five Australian. Vito, stretching weakens muscles. Don't do it before lifting.

Not that you'd have to worry about that. Yeah, but if you're worried about throwing out your back, you want to get a little limber, you know? You want to do a jumping jack or something? Yeah, I do like Charles Atlas. I got those goofy things, the springs. Yeah, the big fucking circular weights, the triangle weights. Yeah. Charles Atlas. I those goofy things the springs the big fucking dumb the circular weights the triangle weights

yeah Charles Atlas I do have a kettlebell yeah the kettlebell the goofy extreme sports one he sets up the home gym

and does rings flying around all I know is I don't want nobody kicking sand in my face I don't stand for that shit lips for five hello friends

cool for two where's the retardo version of the Ricky shirt tonight or tomorrow I will put it up. Oh, good. Aklovich for two. Vito, was Song of the South a cool idea? Yeah.

What does that mean? I think I was talking about Walt Disney had cool ideas. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Song of the South is a cool idea. Yeah. What if a former slave told fun stories about a rabbit? And then now we're not allowed to watch them anymore for some reason because the slave was too much fun.

Oh. Do you know Song of the South? I don't even, I know it's racist but I don't really understand why. I don't really remember it. I just don't, people don't like the idea of a ex-slave shucking and jiving and singing to white kids. It's not racist. What about Huckleberry Finn?

It's uncomfortable. How's his ass? You're not allowed to do Huckleberry Finn anymore. What? Not with Tom. Tom of a certain persuasion. Man, you gotta watch... God, what was the movie I watched last night? It was so...

Hold on. I gotta find... American Fiction? Let me see. You were telling me to watch it. Was that it? Hold on. American Fiction.

I'd seen a promo for it. Oh, yeah. You gotta... You to watch it. Was that it? Hold on. I'd seen a promo for it. Oh, yeah. You will love it. And then we got to do a review of that. You want to review that? It's so good. It's so funny. All right.

I'll watch that. That sounds good. I was re-watching a documentary now. You watched that, right? Yeah. I was watching the Rebel Bowler episode again. Yeah, that's a good one. That's good stuff. Shitlips for five. I have chronic pain and substances

are way more fun than Greenland. Support your local small business, especially the pharmacists on the corner. They are working hard. It's Chris Gofield for ten. Vito's booty is the funniest bit Dick has ever come up with. He wouldn't lose weight for money, but he's losing weight for toys. He'll never say no to the bit, no matter what.

Never give him anything good. He'll never say no to the bit. LJ Clomarino for two. What is the worst purchase you've ever made? You gotta spend more than $2 to be one of these open-ended questions that lead us down a rabbit hole. Shitlips for two. Marriage license. Benjamin for five.

Random, but what do you guys think about Shane Gillis returning to host SNL after getting fired from SNL for doing Asian jokes? I think me and Dick both agreed that he should big time them, get on stage, talk a bunch of shit about how much they suck and then leave. Yeah, I think everyone's just desperate to be back in Hollywood. Right. So he's going to, I mean, it's like smart, but I think it's dumb. He'd rather have a movie than make a stand, and I can't argue against that. Makes sense to me.

Yeah, I mean, I won't watch it. I'd rather get shot in the head than watch Saturday Night Live. I'll watch it if they say Andy's going to do a really funny Asian sketch. Yeah. I would watch. It's Saturday Night Live! Yeah, if they said he's going to do Samurai Deli for 10 straight minutes, I'd be like, all right, I'm in.

Oh, Samurai Deli. I don't think I'm the demo for the culture war, though. I kind of give a shit about these fucking morons dancing for pretending that they're involved in some kind of political shit. I haven't watched an episode of SNL in ever. I can't remember ever watching SNL. Johnny Rico for two. Standard.

Draft boxes are $1.40. Are you gay? They're coming down. The new Magic set has crashed and burned, and prices are going to zero. Lloyd Lillooin for eight. Australian. Speaking of suicide...

It's so classless. What? Oh, look, the show I got kicked off of wants me back on. I can't wait to be on it. Like, I don't know what you do in that situation. You fuck with them. I would tell them, let me do the show, and I don't want to use any of your cast. As soon as it starts, just only do, what would Sam Hyde do?

Kaufman it. Only do a racist Chinese voice the entire time, no matter what the rehearsal was. As soon as it starts, oh, hello, everyone! Like, and do it so it's like, do it until you feel bad. Until you feel like you're making a mistake. That's when you know it's funny. That's what I do. He's up on stage

crying, trying to Oh! Me so horny! Yeah. And he's like, he knows he's burning every bridge in Hollywood, but he just keeps powering through. And then you stop and there's like, he knows he's burning every bridge in Hollywood, but he just is powering And then you stop and there's like coughing in the audience. Like, what's the point? What's the point? You're going to have some middling fucking career.

You're going to make some shitty movies that like are going to have wreaths on them and the right wing's going to lose their shit because they all desperately want to be in Hollywood. Like, who fucking cares about any of this shit? Just fucking do the racist Chinese voice, man. Be the lady that throws the package through the thing in the Apple commercial, all right? Maybe that is why I do have to watch, though, because it's watching a man. Like, he's standing at the crossroads.

But he's going to puss out. It'll be some, like, oh, here's a little joke. Here's a little joke. Like, when Norm did it, you could tell he hated them. And he was doing it and hating them the entire time out of spite. Well, he wanted that Norm show.

He got that sitcom. And that sucked. Even with Nikki Cox. I forget. I think somebody did cuck the content on that. Norm explained how it went down. I don't remember exactly. It was fine for him because he was on it for so long. But I'm against Shane going on and he will.

I also hate this atmosphere of everybody going like, well, you know, you have to understand because of his career. Like, no, I don't. I think it's shitty. Sam Hyde should have a network television show. Yeah. He did have, well, he had a cable television show.

He did until Tim Heidecker. No, not exactly. And Brett Gelman. Brett Gelman, yes. And Tim Heidecker. I'm going to say Tim has escaped responsibility for that. I don't know why everybody blames Tim Heidecker for that. Because he did it.

You don't know that. Yeah, I do. Did he steal the election too? Maybe. I don't know. I haven't I do. Did he steal the election too? Maybe. I don't know. I haven't looked into that. What are you going to do? What is the likelihood of Maddox killing himself?

100%. Koof for two. Zero. JFC. Jesus fucking Christ. Can I have an extra thank you for not killing yourselves? Yes. Thank you, Koof.

Shit lips for two. The chances should be higher, in my opinion. Jad Dragon for five. French onion is gross. Sour cream is gross. Okay. No, those are good things. Coof for five. How rich is it that Vito is lecturing Dick for eating garbage food? Time to walk the plank, ye land blubber.

Me and you have an argument about what? What did I miss? He said land blubber. Oh, land blubber. Don't be twisting his words. Big boss for five. Fat guys know food more than, you know, not as fat guys. Yeah, you do.

I know. Thank you. We discussed this. Were the clams okay? The fritters? They were great. What do you mean? Oh, no!

My eye patch! No! I was fucking with it too much! No! No! You can fix it. You can fix it. No! Captain Dick much? No! No! You can fix it. You can fix it. No!

Captain Dick. Come on! No! No! Oh, there it is. I feel like I'm babysitting a child playing with his dress-up toy chest. Damn it. No, why do you ask?

They were great. Nobody said anything, and I was like, oh, I must have fucked them up or something. They didn't say they were good? I didn't ask. I was just like, you know, nobody came. And I was like, oh, I must have fucked them up or something. They didn't say they were good? I didn't. I was just like, you know, nobody came to me. I was like, hey, that was pretty good. You want notes on your clam produce? I just wanted to know if they were good.

I liked them a lot. I ate a couple. I was like, shit. They were all gone. Yeah, they came. Shit. Eventually. I guess people don't want to eat them all. But yeah, I made my, I mean, whatever.

It's from a mix. But I made them. God, Vito, if I'd known it would be such a thing, I would have eaten them all right away. I just don't want... You know, you go to a... Okay, I think everybody who brings food to a party... Not me. ...is going like, is anyone eating that?

Did people like it? You know? You feel bad if you... Like, let's say you bring brownies to a party and someone else brings brownies to a party and all of her brownies are gone, all of your brownies are still there. Yeah. You know you fucked up the brownies, right? Yeah.

Yeah. That's true. That chili was good. I should have got some of that chili to bring up. I should have got more of that chili. I should have stole more food from your party. Oh, look at how many fucking super chats there is. Ah, whatever.

You got nothing to do. What are you going to do after this show? Fucking, I don't know, man. Go research voting fraud so I can send you links. Yeah, that's all you guys do. Big Boss for five. Long time fan of the show. Vito's booty is a terrible bit.

I agree. Captain Dick sucks. Actually, he said the opposite. He very much likes the bit. Okay, Big Boss. Does everybody need to tell Dick what a genius he is for dressing up like a pirate? Come on, come on, come on. There's a lot of super chats.

Pineapple Man for five. Hi, guys. Played Neopets today and got a good paintbrush. Bag of Schmidt, thank you for being a good friend and playing it with me. By the way, feed JubJub. The fuck is this? Club Penguin fucking shit.

Use the DMs on that app. DiamondG for 222. Jared from Subway and Chauvin voted down. JadDragon for five. Australian PineappleMan says, I've got a really nice expensive paintbrush today, and Bag of Schmidt needs to feed his Neopet. Okay.

On the John for five. Canadian. When it comes to eating garbage like chips and dip, the fat guy should be the authority on the matter. Yeah. You're right. Coop was late with the thank you for not killing yourself. Get right.

Coop. Utah-based Armenia for two. Can't have phones for the same reason scores are down. Doesn't matter. None of these kids are going to learn anything. DiamondG for 222. Thank you for not goofing yourselves. Thank you.

None of them are going to learn anything. So why do I teach them Common Core, man? Yes. Pineapple Man for two. Because it's a scam. Yeah. Thank you, Jadragon, but I figured it out. Oh, my God.

All this Neopet shit. Shred 2010 for 10. Hate fishing for smaller chips with a big chip, especially in dip jars. You get dip goo all over your fingers. Break off a picture of your cat in the pet-o community veto. Stop making AI children. Leave the AI kids alone. I'll make AI cats and post them on your stupid server.

King TL for two. I'm back, motherfucker. Veto W, what just happened guaranteed. Jihad Obad for two. I'm back, motherfucker. Vito W, what just happened guaranteed. Jihad Obad for two. What are your favorite dinosaurs? Stone Cold Flea for two. School shit out of scale for fat kids like Vito. Jerk Jerkinson for five.

Shut up. In the bathroom. Shut up. Instead of the T-5 machine. Yeah, I'll throw that fucking thing in the toilet. What would be better for Vito's booty? Warhammer figures or a signed copy of Ice on number one? I don't want either of them. Crap.

Neither. Stray beans for three Australian. Can you still watch HeHe and, oh, sorry, Ace 3, Ace 3 in 2024? Or is it too sad? Who the fuck watches that shit? Yeah, I don't know who's watching that. King TL for two. He called Mr. Girl a pedophile.

Fuck that guy. Oh, he did? Mr. Girl should sue him. He should. He asked him to take it down. Some good lawyers. King TL for two. Is Max Wilson's shirt for sale?

Mask shirt W. It's all sold out, man. It's screen printed, too. It's good stuff. That is nuts. Not this shit. Shut up. You're an idiot.

Diamond G for $2.22. Mother's milk carton. Slimwill is $96 for five. Andrew is way better than Apple. Vito sent me a pic of his cat one time and I was able to use the editor to crop his wiener out huh why are you sending that guy your cat

Aklovich for 2 Vito I love Putin he is great I hate Ukraine Rev for 5 Vito can make a decent argument on anything as long as it's not his libtard political views is this the part where you lectured me

it's so peculiar it's so fucking peculiar shut up Johnny Rocket for 10 Coach Red Pill was arrested for hating on Ukraine Is this the part where you lectured me? It's so peculiar. It's so fucking peculiar. Shut up. Johnny Rocket for 10. Coach Red Pill was arrested for hating on Ukraine. Tortured in Ukrainian prison. Killed when he tried to escape.

Why are we sending money to a country that kills Americans for speech? Why? We send money to a lot of people. You can't even say... I hate that. We send money to Mexico. Mexico is fucking corrupt and shit. You're the teamest motherfucker that's ever teamed. Trump also facilitated giving money to other countries.

That's just the thing America does. Okay? I'm so done with this. It's staggering. You're right. LJ Claberino for five. Anytime Vito's wrong on a topic, he acts like the donkey from that Family Guy skit that just keeps screaming, no, no, no, hee-haw, hee-haw.

Oh, man. I'm never talking about election fraud on this show again. Pigeon for five, one guy, but not any of the ten you gave me. Give me ten. Give me ten guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're going to pick the dumbest one. No, give me ten. I'm so much smarter than you.

Ooh, well, actually, Ruby Freeman, this old black lady, stole the election. Campbelltoe for five. Vito literally knows nothing about politics and loves to act like he's the smartest person in the room, completely outmatched by Dick. All Dick said was computers. That's it. JJ for five. Remember that Berkeley teacher who hit that guy with the padlock?

No one snitched on him. Oh, yeah. There you go. He wouldn't do a fraud. All those guys are out. How do you explain that? All the Antifa guys that beat people up got out of jail. How do you explain that?

They got snitched on. But why aren't they in jail? But we know who they are. Why How do you explain that? All the Antifa guys that beat people up got out of jail. How do you explain that? They got snitched on. But why aren't they in jail? But we know who they are. Why aren't they in jail? If they committed... Why aren't they in jail? I don't know. What's your best guess?

My best guess is that the fucking cucked out courts just don't want to put people in the system. Sorry. Put people in the system? They let a lot of people in the system? They let a lot of people, like, look, the prisons are all full, so they're trying to put less people in prison, especially in Berkeley, which has a bunch of, like, fucking left-wing liberals that don't want to put anyone in prison. Are you fucking insane?

It's not an Antifa thing. You think that the Antifas who beat people with bike locks are not in jail because the system? I think it's because it is that whole, it's like all of San Francisco. They don't jail anybody. You don't think it's, they're just like a political boot squad that goes around kicking people's asses and everyone's working together to get them out so they can go cause more mayhem?

No. How do you think that would look? How do you think that would look? How do you think it looks in Russia where that happens? You would be able to point me to which prosecutor or which lawyer or whatever. Gascon is doing it. Okay, Gascon is pro-Antifa. Yes.

Okay, and he wants to get them all out of prison. Yes. Because he wants them to go and cause political terror on the streets. Yes. Okay. How do you know this? Because it's happening. That's no. It's the government. they can stop it from happening at any time

How do you know That that's the reason he's letting them out? Why are they out? Drug dealers get out Murderers get out People get out of things I hit a cop with a car and they let me out Why'd I get out?

Because I'm Antifa? They didn't have a big enough cell I ran a cop over with my car. I almost murdered that guy. Deflecting, like always. I'm not deflecting, but seriously. Black and deflecting. My case didn't even get to, the judge threw it out like immediately.

They didn't even try to try it because they're like, we don't have time. Proud Boys, jail. Antifa, out. Why? I'm just going down a fucking rabbit hole. Did Gascon have the ability? Why is Julian Assange in prison? Did Gascon prosecute any Proud Boys?

No. Okay, so it's irrelevant. You're talking about a completely different jurisdiction. Feds did. Okay, so the feds- The feds prosecuted Antifa. The feds have prosecuted Antifa. There's an Antifa guy who just went to jail the other fucking week.

For child porn, probably. No, no, no. I think there was an Antifa guy in California who's going to jail because I forget where it was, but a bunch of Antifa guys showed up at a Trump rally and started fighting guys, and this guy got three years in jail. It happens. It's happening right now. Yeah, token.

Okay. See, now you're fucking making excuses. Antifa guys get jailed. That's not all the time. Definitely not in Berkeley. Pigeon for five. We count them at not in Berkeley. Pigeon for five. We count them at night. Yes.

Jad Dragon for five. I was approached by Joe Biden to do this, and I felt uncomfortable, so I said no. Well, there's a million dollars if you can prove it. Jav City for five. I tried to get Renown Zero to join the podcast, but he blocked me. Vito, you should just agree with Dick. Elections are rigged, and Republicans shouldn't vote. You're right.

Don't vote. It's a waste of your time. Rev for two. Tribalist Vito forever loyal to Brandon. No cheating. Nazi salute. That's a Nazi fucking salute Vito just did. No, I didn't.

This is not a Nazi salute. That's Nazi salute. Nazi salute. Vito's doing a Nazi salute. Shut up. I didn't do that. Vito's doing a Nazi salute. Vito's doing a Nazi salute. Vito's doing a Nazi salute! Spider Eternal for five. No cheating is

going on with voting. That's why the voting... I'm not reading these. Johnny Rocket for ten. That's why the voting data was fucking deleted. Why else not? The hype around Obama was insane and I was in a mostly white area like he was going to time travel and prevent slavery. The idea of black people love Biden 20% more is unbelievable. Is fucking retarded. Deep Striker for two says Ricky

Retardo. Campbell Toe for two says Vito sounds regarded. Diamond G for two. Assisted ballots are worth an assisted death. Torturous two. Fourteen eight B. Okay, now he's trying to get me to do the Hitler thing. Swagmaster

for five. DNC paid volunteers in Phoenix. No, they didn't. Two for two. Team Guy V volunteers in Phoenix. No, they didn't. Yes, they did. Team Guy, veto. Why would they not? Election fraud, veto. Maxwell, 21 for 12. Veto, it's your boy prime. When are you going to do a Shadowheart stream?

Is it the card game? I don't know what that is. Send me a message. We'll look into it. Pineapple Man for two. Weren't Dominion voting machines closed source? Do you know what that means? Yeah.

No, they were not. Captain Cheese for five. Veto thinking black people were more hyped for Biden than the... Okay. JJ for five. No one else committing fraud. Crimsel committing unemployment fraud. He needs to get a job, sir.

Get a job. Before he gets caught. Oh, man. If there's one thing that black people love more than the first black president, it's a white old racist. That's what I know, because I'm fucking smart. So why didn't Rudy Giuliani do that? Why didn't he talk about that? Why didn't he talk about what?

What I just did? Why didn't the Kraken get up there and talk about it? Why didn't she get- Oh, okay. So because other retards did stuff, that that doesn't make sense. That was Trump's hand pick. Guys, he put them in charge of it. There was like- No, he didn't. Trump has millions of dollars. If he believes election fraud happened, why didn't he assemble

a crack legal team and have them handle it? Because all of those guys will be pariahs. Trump cannot hire good people. They'll be sued into oblivion. And no one will ever work with them. They'll probably end up in fucking prison. Giuliani did not have to at any point get in front of a fucking whatever

it was, TV camera, and go, the reason for the election fraud is these two old black ladies. There was no reason for him to do that. So you're not— And it was wrong. It was incorrect. So you don't care that the computers that elect our president are closed source and unauditable because of Rudolph Giuliani, who was on Seinfeld?

That's your thought process? Wow, those computers really control the fate of the free world. But, you know, Rudy Giuliani's on Seinfeld, and he was an idiot. So that's... I'm not saying... Man, you guys really have to explain why Giuliani's an idiot before we look at these computers. Okay, so say we want to make the computers auditable. Yeah, let's say it.

Okay. Sure. You're going to fucking prison. No, that's not... Why are they not auditable then? Bank software is! No one has gone to prison for saying I want the voting machines to be auditable.

Who has gone to prison for saying that? Maybe Trump. That's not what he said. That's not what he's even being tried for. He's getting sued. Anybody getting sued for shitting on Dominion is going to prison because they're saying that's not auditable. Because they've said crazy shit.

You can't go crazy. All of it's fucking fake. You're allowed to criticize the government, by the way. Disavow. Disavow. That's America. No, you don't have to disavow criticizing the government in America. Dominion Voting Systems did nothing wrong, and if you want to sue anybody, sue the pirate. How can you be liberal and support

that position? I just said if you want to make the machines auditable, that's a fine argument. Make that argument. Why aren't you making that argument? Sure. Because you cheat. No, I agree you cheat no that's why you know the cheating benefits your team even though it doesn't benefit you if it would make you happy yes i want the machines to be auditable there you go that would not make me happy yes it would that's what you know not okay then what do you want i'm not i don't care about being happy i want the fucking source code of the machines now okay now that's fine. That's fine. I'm not saying

you can't ask for that. No, I don't want to ask for it. I want it. You should want it too. Everyone should want it. It should be given. Sure. I want it too. No, you don't. I can tell. What do you mean? I just said I want it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It took 30 minutes of yelling to get there. I can't yell

at every person in America. I never said otherwise. I just said but just because we don't have it I'm not going to accept that the election is fraudulent. Okay? Okay. Go tell your bank. Hey, don't bother with receipts anymore. I don't care with the money. Just tell me how much I have and if there's any discrepancies, sue me for defamation.

I can't wait for the next election because you guys are going to do the same fucking shit. Yeah, because you're going to steal it again. Good. I hope we do because it's funny. I know. We all know that you hope we do. Why would you make us not steal it? Because you put us in prison. You guys had Jan 6.

You should have just went harder in the paint. You had every chance. You could have seized government. You could have locked up Pence. But you guys got cold feet. Now we put all you guys in prison. You're never going to get the chance to do it again. And you love that.

Well. Because you feel like you're in control because you vote for evil people who are child molesters, etc. They're all child molesters. And they say, we're on the same team. Right. So you feel good about that. It's a team sport.

Yeah, it is for you guys. It is for liberals. You just want your team to win. You don't give a fuck. How? It's true. It's true. I'm never 100% true. Everyone knows it. Please never super chat about election fraud. Everyone knows it. Don't send messages in about election fraud. Everyone knows it's true. This will just

go on forever. Everyone knows it to be true. Everyone knows it to be true. I fixed my eye patch. Great. Back to the air. Derek Larris for 7Canadian. Look at Dr. Robert Epstein's work.

I don't. Is that for real? On how to manipulate votes through suggested search results. Great. Fadix the Great for five. Veto changing voting to unsolicited mail and voting. Okay. Dickington Post for five.

We need the classic Ricky quote, don't wape, from Johnny Rockets. Don't you dare wape. Have you read the Johnny Rockets Alpha Corps? No, I need to. Holy fuck, man. They're so funny. Someone link it to me in the Discord or something. He needs a domain, because I can't read Jabiel's sub stack.

He doesn't want to get sued. What? Eric Gillespie is a very litigious individual. He can sue somebody for AppleCore.com or whatever. No, I meant like reposting the comic. No, he edited the comic. But it's still...

Oh no, that's parody. I know it's parody, but it's like... Eric would still find a way. Living in terror. That's the... Eric would still find a way. Living in terror. That's the... You guys live in... Do whatever you want to do. Legal terror of the system that you're saying we're free under.

You live in fear of it. Even this amazing comedy, you're terrified of it. I'm not terrified of it. Because the legal system that you support might come down on you. I just don't think you should make a website for it. It's already up on media. All right. I think it's fun. It's funny. You don't think you should make a website for it. It's on. It's already up on media. Alright. I think it's fun. It's funny. You don't think

you should make a website of it? I could make a website then. I don't know. Sure. You are. It's just. I think I'm just overwhelmed right now. I mean. You know what? I'm gonna. You know what? Do whatever you fucking want. Why would you say you should make a website?

You're not fighting me on everything today. You're fighting me. I said make a website, and you said I don't think you should make a website. Who's fighting who? You're right. I'm wrong. I'm just wrong. Rex Saxon for five.

Vito, are you playing Skull and Bones? I was trying to find that guy's buried treasure who was on the show a few weeks ago, and he's pissing me off. I'm not playing Skull and Bones. I heard it sucks. What's that? It's the new pirate game, but instead of's pissing me off. I'm not playing Skull and Bones. I heard it sucks. What's that? It's the new pirate game, but instead of playing as a pirate, you basically end up playing as a pirate ship. And everyone's like, why are you not the pirate?

You're a ship? Kind of, yeah. Like the way they've made it, you sail your ship around and you have a crew, but you're like, but which one am I? And they're like, well, you just control the ship. It's like Sim Pirates? Yeah, well, there was an Assassin's Creed Pirates game that everybody says is the greatest Pirates game ever made.

I actually wanted to buy it now that Skull & Bones came out. I went, I should finally just fucking play that. Because that came out and made a bajillion dollars, and they said, we're just going to take that and make an entire Pirate franchise. Everyone's saying, oh, they fucked it up. Just play the Assassin's Creed Pirate game from 10 years ago. Okay. So I kind of want to do that.

It's like Red Dead Redemption with Pirates. The Assassin's Creed thing. It sounded like it. Jacob for 5R, matey. Gather your scallywags. TBF for Vito's booty. Clip Sama for 2. Everything on Void Tools is the best program ever.

Void Tools. I guess that's that search program they want us to use. Okay. Dean Shock for 5. Thanks for all the laughs. Hope you get something good this week, Vito. I probably won't. On to John for 2. Dean Shock 5, thanks for all the laughs. Hope you get something good this week. Vito, I probably won't. On to John for 2 Canadian. Oh man,

do I love that eat ass sound effect. DJK for what I assume is the equivalent of 50 American dollars says, are you ready kids? Are you ready kids? There's a scale, there's a pirate flag, there's a parrot, and what is this blue thing I'm seeing? Uh, semen. Okay, semen.

King TL for two. Win Masterson, win Vito. Big W's this week. Jerk Jerkinson for five. Are we just going to forget Trump made North Korea calm down his whole time in office? When are we going to forget that?

The whole North Korea thing. On to John for two. Vito, Trump got you that sweet, sweet vaccine. That is true. Yeah, that's right. You should be liking him. Two for five.

For your COVID vaccine. Idaho passed a bill that would give the death penalty To convicted PDF files Vosh should stay clear Of that place Pun intended Oh don't go horsing around

In Idaho Vosh Don't fuck around down there In my Right around in the horse Dead See I told you That happens sometimes Yeah I know

Cause you're using that weird Middle wheel click thing I know I'm an idiot Uh let's see Jadragator5 My ex was Chinese and when I asked her about the Uyghur camps, she said it's good.

We have too many people in China. We have to think the same over here. Jacob4Two, Vito makes a way... Too many exes. Hold on. Someone finally said something nice about me. He says, Vito makes a way better show than Maddox ever did.

They always say that. Every fucking episode they say that. Well, thank you. It's nice that someone said something nice. Righty-tighty 91 for two. Thanks for the show. Torturous for five Canadian pretending TBF a fairy or elf is gay. Pirate or cowboy is cool because they're always drunk.

They are always drunk. 14 pat for some Kazirka stans. Says 1,000 CZK is around $50. Oh. Oh, okay. Well, thank you very much. All right. Thank you. Polish guy. Says 1,000 CZK is around $50. Oh! Oh, okay. Well, thank you very much. Thank you. Polish guy. Thank you, Czech Republic. I appreciate that.

You can send it in USD to make it easier for us. Jacob for five. Dick, my car broke down on the way to Road Rays, Atlanta, and I couldn't make it. Can I get a free ticket for the next one in the Southeast U.S.? Arr! Absolutely not, you can't. Sorry that that happened to you, though. We want free shit from this though. King TL for two. If McDonald's is coming, ask cloned

rappers. Five star track. Johnny Rico for five. I'll DM you for your D&D one-off. I'll pre-gen characters and make it non-regarded for you. Is that the guy? No, no. Oh, a different guy. There's going to be a comp. We're going to have an all Dungeon Masters show. Five Dungeon Masters competing. Okay, that would be a comp. We're going to have an all Dungeon Masters show. Five Dungeon

Masters competing. Okay, that would be a good reality show. That would actually not for us to do. At the same time. But if it was like America's top Dungeon Master, I think people genuinely would want to watch that. Us doing the adventure and then five Dungeon Masters working at the same time. Alright, there's an orc. Oh, the orc

and they take turns. I wanted like one of those food shows where we go, we really enjoyed the elf forest adventure you prepared, but we thought it started straying kind of into an uncomfortable territory where you

made one of them underage and forced us to rape her. That could be a real show, though. That could be a real show. Yeah.

America's Tough Dungeon Master would be like something the internet would watch. Okay, the theme is, it's set in an episode of The Office. Yes.

Oh, wow. Wow. You have to make characters for us, but you're only allowed to use... Jim from The Office. Okay, well, not that. But like that. He's spilling chili. It's a plus two vorpal chili.

For some reason, me and Randy both told Dick he needs to watch The Office. Or we said we liked The Office. You should watch The Office. Never. It's retarded. It's not retarded. Fucking sucks, that show. 14 pat for 20. Kazerkistan says this is one US dollar. I love you guys. Thank you.

Thank you. KingTL for five. Tmax Spitz is your friend. Okay, whatever. Jacob for two. I used to steal games. Wait, what was that? Tom McDonald has raped someone. Tmax Spitz hasn't raped since Unc-Max Spitz. T-Max Spitz. Hasn't raped since encore- Rapped.

Oh. Yeah, he's talking about rap. All right. I don't care anymore. Jacob for two. I used to steal games from Goodwill to sell on eBay. Tim Pierce for $1 says nothing, which is the best kind of super chat. For some reason, I can't refresh this page without it refreshing, which makes me think

that you're holding down control or something. I'm not. I fucking told you. Things are always going weird in here. Why can't I refresh this? It's just opening a new window every time yeah, cuz Everything's fucking broken Fucking grandpa doing it. It's just fucking broken things a new window and it's probably there, okay? We're almost we're almost through this. We're almost done with this.

Yo, ho, yo, ho! It's time for Vito to walk the plank. Tim Pierce for two. Okay, I can't read that. Wendy's chilling by blunt. For two, we need to audit

Vito's problems when he wins. Auditable! Spider Eternal for two. Stop skipping Super Chats, Vito. It's no fun. Yeah, you're skipping Super Chats. Jess Carl for five. Why is Dick

dressed like a pirate? Because he hasn't done the bit. Maybe it wasn't. Penis swag. It's another TVF joke. Tim Pierce for five. Voting. Non-centralized. Diamond G for two. Under this ballot. Booty be bought. Private. I love semen.

Hard R. Semen and the hard R. So, Vito, here's the fucking thing. Oh! What's the game where we smash all the toys? Vito's Booty! A man who tweets about the toys! Vito's Booty!

What's in the box? You know you want it! Vito's Booty! Get out of the scale or I smash it to shit! Vito's Booty! Vito Beatles Booty! Get out of the scale or I smash into shit! Beatles Booty! Beatles Booty! Beatles Booty! Beatles Booty! Beatles Booty!

Wait, one second. First, I have something else for you. Someone sent this in. I almost forgot about it, but it fell over. Okay, this is an actual gift. An actual gift. They wanted me to put it in the box, but no, because there are rules. Okay, this breaks the rules somehow. Because it has to be collectibles in the box.

Okay. Funko Pops, cards. No, not Funko Pops. No Funko Pops. There's valuable. Okay, not. Video games are cool. Hold on. You know what's in video games? No Funkos. No Funko Pops. No Funko Pops. There's valuable... Okay, not... Video games are cool. Hold on.

You know what's in video games? No Funkos. No Funko Pops in this box. Don't need any fucking Funko Pops. It says, do not bend. This is from Pop Sculpture. You told me to put it in, but I'm like, well, no, I think that's not as... It's cheating.

...good for the audience. Do not bend. Okay, so I'm opening this, no, I think that's not as it's cheating good for the audience do not bend Okay, so I'm opening this don't bend it there better not be any more coke cutting cards in there. Oh I mean like I saw it. Well, yeah. Yeah, I want to see him though I'm saying it's not a I got spoiled but I saw... What are you talking about? I mean, he can't... Oh, that's mine. I'm saying it's not a... I got spoiled. I saw he was working on these, and they're very cool. But also, it's a gift for both of us.

You can't have a gift for both of us in the box. Well, I was only going to put yours in. That's stupid. You get yours for free? Yeah. Wow, look at that. This guy is really talented. That's fucking amazing.

This guy... Mine is way ripped up, because it's got that little hat. These are, as we know, we love the McNugget buddies. Even though I got none of the new ones. Dick said he was going to get me a new one, but it was breakfast so he couldn't. Look at that guy.

Amazing. Thank you. Hold mine up to that one. I can't see. Is that in focus at all? I can't click anymore. Is the show still going? I don't know.

I hope so. There's my McNugget buddy. What the fuck? It's because of all these packing peanuts are on everything. Well, that looks pretty good. The fucking mouse doesn't work again. What is happening? Everything's broken. I fucking told you. And every time you're like, oh, it's going to go to Asian fucking mouse doesn't work again. What is happening? Everything's broken.

I fucking told you. And every time you're like, oh, I'm going to use your fucking mouse. People are saying I'm a killjoy. Okay. Yeah, because you're all depressed because you got shouted at. That's why. I'm sorry. Okay, I'll make this.

Oh, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. It's so much fun. Dick, it's so funny. It's such a funny bit. I thought you wanted to have a political show or a tour around or going about politics. That would be pretty good. You dropped your pirate. Yeah, your parrot, by the way. What? Oh! No! No! I've got the booty! No! Booty over! Over! Over!

I don't want to ruin the bit that much. All right, well, what's it gonna be? Well, now I felt what's in the box. There's like nothing in there. Well, you could easily just let it get smashed or burned or whatever it is. You know the rule. Five drum rolls. Or you have to walk to the plank. Five drum rolls to think about it. You can phone a friend if you need to do that.

Oh, I can phone a friend? Yes. Or you can have the audience vote. That's going to take a little too long. We have the audience vote. That's another thing you can do. You're taking your stuff out of your pockets. Note.

I got a note. Do you want to know what I got from Valentine's Day? I already know because you opened it before the show. This is better than whatever's in there. I got a $25 Panda Express gift card. Thank you. What's it going to be? That's five drum rolls.

Well. What's it going to be before you? Shut up and let me answer. I think that, you know, I have nothing to fear this week. I feel like I've done good with dieting. Okay. I've done good with dieting. Okay. I've done good with working out. Okay.

So, you know, I think I have nothing to lose. What does that mean? I think I'll walk the plank. All right, get up there. Let's see. Okay. Let me put on some pirate chanting music. I do.

Hold on. I do have to put on pirate pirate shanty music I do Hold on I do have to put on pirate shanty music Pirate Shanty music Ah Here we go Vocal only Fuck

Here we go Here we go. Here we go. There he blows. What are you talking about? I hope you are keeping your pants on. How do you think you did from last week? Yeah, so how do you think you did? It's 292.4.

292.5. So you did lose.1 of a pound. I thought I lost.1 of a pound. Maybe you did. I might have. Wait a minute. Unlike our election, I have a fucking tracking on this. I thought it was like 294 before.

Maybe it was. Let's see. No, it was... Oh. It's 292.3. So you've actually gained 0.1 of a pound. You're going up. 292.4 now.

No, that's too bad. So you're going up and even up more. It's not up more. It's the same. No, it's 0.1 of a pound more. How do you explain that? With how much you know about broccoli and stuff. I drank one can of dry, so that's like a water weight I'm holding on to. Right.

Are you calling into question the scale? No, I think at the end of the day, you weigh more than you weigh at the beginning of the day. So it's kind of like what mass you put in yourself today. So you've always weighed yourself At the same exact time So I'm saying in general though On my scale Tomorrow morning

I think it'll be a Okay well I guess You could get your prize then Okay should I? What do you mean should you? Okay Oh hey it's that

Final Fantasy thing. Cool. He's happy about this crap. And he was upset about the other crap that it got. Now this thing's... Now he's happy about this piece of crap. There's a little note in there, too, for you. Oh, there's a little note.

Where's the note? Probably in the box. It's got a battery. Oh, here we go. Hey, Dick, Vito might enjoy this tchotchke. Please give it to him after he earns it. It is a button which plays the Final Fantasy victory music. And it's got the Final Fantasy VII logo on it.

Oh, you must love that shit. Do I got to get nagged when I'm happy with the present, too? You're not getting nagged, you're getting insulted It's not being nagged, it's totally different Can it just be like, oh hey, Vito got a thing he wants And I'm happy for him And he didn't gain 10 pounds Only.1 pounds That was fun, you know, like during my streams I can One pounds.

This is fun. You know, like during my streams, I can... You got to put the speaker in the mic. Is it not there? There you go. Sounds like cheap Chinese crap to me. Okay. Well, that's worth three weeks of embarrassment, right? Who was embarrassed in your mind?

That's pretty great. Somebody sent in a one-of-a-kind button. Well, not one-of-a-kind, but it is a rare promotional item. Oh, you're so bitter that it's not a gay man's cradle or whatever it is. I'm glad I didn't let you smash it. I would have felt bad. Oh, you would have felt bad? Well, because the guy sent it in. It's like, you know,

it's like a nice thing he did. Okay, well, I would have put in something more Funko Pop-y, but nobody sent one in. Stop. Don't give him any Funko Pop-y. If anybody sends in... Is it broken? No, I just keep accidentally pressing it. Because you took the tab out, so now it's going to run out of batteries

and make that sound all night. No, it's every time you press it, it makes the noise. And we got our McNugget buddies. Look at that. How disappointed are you on a scale of 1 to 10? I think you're disappointed that you didn't get to burn a thing. I don't care. Okay, good.

I don't care about these things. I think the audience, you know, I hope nobody in the audience is going like, oh, you know, Vito didn't get to have a shitty week again, you know? You obviously had a shitty week. You obviously had a shitty time today. No, I had a lot of fun. Why are people saying boo? If the point of the bit is just to make me miserable,

like why didn't Dick just poke my eye out every fucking episode? That's all they want. That's why the bit is just to make me miserable. Why didn't Dick just poke my eye out every fucking episode? That's all they want. That's why the bit doesn't work. It's not like, oh, Vito might get something good. It's like Vito might suffer. And if he doesn't suffer, we're going to be upset. So how about at the end

of every episode, you just punch me in the face? That'd be funny, too. That's what you want, though. No, I don't. I do in the face That'd be funny too That's what you want though No I don't I don't want any I do want that Can the audience like Be like oh hey it's good

You know Vito's been a good sport He gets a little thing You have not been a good sport I've been a very good sport I've been an excellent sport Can you bring up the uh Our top supporters No I can't cause the thing's fucking broken

Right well uh Cause you were fucking fiddling with it. Hit the Patreon image. It doesn't fucking work. How do we end the stream? I don't know. You fucking did this when you were on your mouse. Oh, my God.

I did not do this. I don't know how we end the stream. Well, I mean, we can hit end stream. Are you going to end it? Is it over? What do you mean it's over? There's no more Super Chat. Guys, don't forget bonus episode at biggestproblem.show.

Vote on all the problems. And thank you for my stupid Final Fantasy button. I'm very- Oh, so ungrateful. No, I like it. It's cool. You seem disappointed. I'm not disappointed.

I like it. I wanted this thing. I would be. It's a piece of crap. I wanted people to send in little things, and then everybody said it would be funny to send in big shit and then make Vito have a fucking existential crisis about burning cool nerd stuff. Well, you never know. Next week

might be something worse. Might be something worthless or something worthless. You never know what it's going to be. I appreciate all the little toys. Thank you, everybody. We will be back next week with more problems. Alright, goodbye. And we will be back next week with more problems.

All right. Goodbye. Stop booing Vito. Stop booing me. He really hates it, so I guess you better stop doing it. Can I get like... I hate you guys. Thank you for the toy.

Remember when everyone was nice and you were like, I don't like it when you're nice to me. Well, I don't want to know if you go vicious. Can you be like kind of like normal? That's never good enough for you. Like even keeled? It's never good enough. Can I get like a little like, hey, you know, hey, not bad.

What kind of entertainment do you think you're in here, buddy? All right. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye. Don't destroy it. That might be rude. Boo. Boo.

Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo.

Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo. Boo.