The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 130

Episode Date: March 2, 2024

Not on anything about this shit, then. I think, what do you call it? Dune is surprisingly kind of based. It's like a really racist movie. Is that what you think based means? Yeah. Racist? That is what based means.

What are you talking about? The show's starting. The transition. Yes. You could continue this preposterous explanation of what based is. Based clearly just means racist but confident. That's all based means. I've never understood what mansplaining was

until this moment. Anytime anyone, I've ever seen anybody say based, it's just because somebody confidently had a racist take. That's all it means. Oh, okay. Like what's an example of you seeing someone say based? Or you're like, hey, well, you know, the

average Palestinian IQ is like this, so maybe. Why is that racist? Based. What's racist about? I don't know. Oh, so you as a liberal don't understand what racism is, I think. No, I'm saying. It's using that to justify certain actions against them is racist.

Genocide. Yeah. Are you not. Well, I'm not based. You don't want to hurt Israel's feelings. I'm not based you don't want to hurt Israel's feelings I'm not based enough to I remember

what the problem was good oh my god I remember what it was and you reminded me okay good oh

fuck hallelujah Dick was really freaking out because he forgot what problem he wanted to do and he was mad about it

oh yes I gotta write it down alright good next time I've been swearing He's freaking out because he forgot what problem he wanted to do and he was mad about it. Oh, yes! I got to write it down. All right, good. Next time, I've been swearing this for 20 years, never skip. Write it down right away. Write it down right away. Drop whatever you're doing.

You ever wake up with a good idea and you're like, oh, I'll just, you know, I'll write it down when I wake up again. And you're like, no, we got to get out the phone. I do. I write Jack off right now. And then I do. But I write it down first. That's how dedicated I am. So write Jack off right now. And then I do. But I write it down first. That's how dedicated I am. So you don't forget what you're doing. Yeah.

How you doing? Good. On a scale of one to Vito, how much energy do you have today? I feel all right. It's just astounding. What is this? It's astounding how you start off. What is this obsession with my energy levels?

Because you start off shows the least energy I've ever seen in a human being. Yeah. And then when you get amped up, you're like, this is what we got to do for the show. We got to do this. We got to do this. We got to do this. But when it comes time to do the show, it's like, well, you know. You got to ease into it.

It's like a roller coaster. You don't jump on the roller coaster and it immediately takes off. You got to put on the seatbelt. You got to strap in. You got to make sure your cell phone is secured. You got to get in line roller coaster and it immediately takes off. You gotta put on the seatbelt. You gotta strap in. You gotta make sure your cell phone is secured. You gotta get in line, right? This is getting in line for this show. Yeah, you know what it is.

Can you hold up a little sign that says when the ride will be? When you start your drive time radio program, Heart's Turned starts screaming at you. It goes, alright, hey, how you doing? It's a beautiful Sunday, February 14, whatever, you know? The time is currently 3.40 a.m. That's what this is.

That's the show. It's drive time radio. It makes me want to fucking kill myself that you're always so low energy. I'm not always low energy. What are you talking about? Yeah, you are. Let me get bunnies in the chat. Beds in the chat. Well, usually after...

Beds in the chat for Vito's low energy. This is bullshit. See, this is what you... And then I can't mix the volume either because I'm like, give me a level, and you're like, well, how's this? You're like fucking Steven Wrong. That's your comedy name. Well, how's this for a level?

Look, you don't have to start... And then at the end of the show, you're like... I think that, you know, you start a movie off. You meet the characters. You get to know everybody. And then you hit a high point. Jesus Christ. Okay, you're right.

I'll just start every show by screaming. How's that? I don't think you can. I don't want to. I don't think you could set off a decibel meter. They could roll you into that Mission Impossible room with Tom Cruise, and you wouldn't be able to set off the meter. Remember that scene where you're hanging there?

If you're hanging there in that room... I'd just be a dead sack of shit. You're like, Vito, give me a level. And you're like, what do I have to do? Steal this thing or what? He's not setting off the sensors. Control. He's physically unable to set off the sensors

For at least another 40 minutes I've got plenty of energy Everything's gonna be great I got these new sleeping pills It's funny you were talking about jacking off I got these new sleeping pills And then I tried to jack off And it was the worst jacking off

I think I've experienced in years It's like I came But I was like You know what? I didn't came, but I was like, I don't know. You know what? I didn't even feel anything. I was going to just ask you to make the story worse as sarcastically because it was so bad. And then you said, and then I came and I thought, Jesus. I'm lying in bed and I'm jacking off.

And then I come and I was like, what? It was like my dick shot like fucking air, you know? It was like it coughed out. It was not like an exciting ejaculation. It was like, I was like, oh my God. What the fuck, man? It was like a sick, my penis was sick is how it felt.

So I'm going to say those sleeping pills do something. They must have deadened you inside. Maybe there's something else you could eat to counteract the first thing you ate. Right? The pills are counteracting the calories you ate. And then you could eat something to counteract the pill that you ate. I should be taking those Shootfar pills

that PKA Sons sells. Yeah, you want to get into... Super shooter? I want to be a super shooter. You want to get into selling some of that stuff? I would be happy to sell that. I think I'd be a good part. Look, I am all about, you know, shooting is the most important part of the ejaculation process. And I want to try the big cum shot pills, but I'm worried it'll be too much. Okay.

Because I'm already a big cummer. I'm already a big cummer. Yeah. So I want to see if I can add more to the process. Well, that's what they advertise They're saying you're going to shoot Like a bigger heavier load And I'm like Couldn't it be like too much

That like your dick can't even handle it Your dick's like oh my god Trying to force like a I regret the energy comment I think you should bring it down a little bit actually Alright nobody has to think about me coming. People are joining

the membership tiers. Good. Guys, don't forget if you see all those fun emojis in the chat, we have some new emojis. You just gotta have emojis. We gotta have emojis.

Your life is fucking worthless without emojis. The emojis are fun. If we don't sell enough emojis, Vito's gonna talk about his cum stories some more. Which nobody wants. Nobody on Earth wants to hear. I'm just saying, normally, look, enough emojis, Vito's going to talk about his cum stories some more, which nobody on earth wants to hear.

I'm just saying, normally, look, I know what ejaculation feels like with all these sleeping pills in my system. Are you sure? What does it feel like? It's incredible. It's something an alien feels. It feels too good. You see Meek Mills talking about pussy this week?

That gay guy? No. That got outed? P. That got outed. Puff Daddy got outed as an abuser of men, and so everyone's like- Oh, wait. When did that happen? And so the rap community's trying to figure out if Meek Mills is gay. Like, well, forget that sexual abuse.

We want to know if Meek Mills is gay. Wait, was Puff Daddy doing gay stuff? I didn't realize that. P. Diddy? One of these guys. I don't know. They're all gay. I got a news flash For everyone

Every one of those If I could say it I would say it In the non-hateful way But I can't Is gay Rap is fascinating It's a fascinating

Group of individuals Why's that? Well I mean Are you saying Something racist? No I'm not saying Anything racist

You're just intimating Something racist It's an interesting Community Why? I don't find it Interesting at all Are you saying something racist? No, I'm not saying anything racist. You're just intimating something racist. It's an interesting community. Why? I don't find it interesting at all. How's that for based?

I don't know what you could say about rap, you know, but I just appreciate that they're out there doing it. All right. Are you ready? It doesn't seem like it takes a lot of skill to do it. Are you ready for this show? Yeah, go ahead. Big cum lows. That's what we're talking about here tonight. Ben's in the chat.. Big cum lows.

That's what we're talking about here tonight. Beds in the chat for Vito. On biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from horse porn exposures to online news closures. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hi, Dick.

What's up, buddy? Not much. That was from Porco Romano. What do you think about that? What do you think about that one? I'm a big fan of that rhyme. Porco? Porco nailed it.

Horse porn exposures to online news closures. Well, this is going to be an exciting show. This is our first show. There's 100% pedo free content. You may have seen that during the intro. Should I bring that back? Yeah, maybe pop it up real quick. Should I keep it up the whole time? Maybe in the corner of the show the whole time.

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe just for a brief moment, people can see what that would look like. Okay, I don't know. Obviously don't know. Maybe just for a brief moment, people can see what that would look like. Okay. I don't know. Obviously, here on Biggest Problem, like many, we are not fans of the pedophiles. And thankfully, a man- No, no. That doesn't say that.

It just says pedo-free. Pedo-free. Pedo-free content. Matt Baric. Put it right over your head. All right. Well, that seems like you're sending a message. That doesn't need to go on top of me.

Maybe go on you. No, no, no. There you go. No. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. And I'm going to make it. No, no, no.

Yeah. You got to cover me up because that's how you make it better. So everyone knows. All right. All right. The point is Matt Barr from the CG slums has decided that all his comic books will now feature this banner on the front. Isn't that a good way to stop comic books? It's one of those retards hired a child molester.

One of those. The one that draws the worst. Hired a child. I don't know which one it is. They're so fucking reactionary. They got to stop using we. They're like, you got to stop. You guys are implying that we hired pedophiles.

I was like, actually, I was only saying the one guy did. But I don't know which one of you is that guy. I thought Matt Barr was making a joke, but he genuinely thinks this is a good idea to put this on all his comic books. Like, let me set the stage. You go to McDonald's and there's a big advertisement that says the Big Mac. 100%. Yeah, 100% no cum. And you go, well, wait, how much cum did it have before?

Also none. Also none. Pretty much. 100% no cum. And you go, well, wait, how much cum did it have before? Also none. Also none. Pretty much. I mean, there was that one guy, you know. There's a lot of guys. The wife comes home with a shirt. This is 100% cum free.

Yeah. From other guys. Why are you wearing that? Yeah, there's a lot of guys who are coming up with great ideas. And I think the 100% pedo-free banner, hopefully we see that on every comic book moving forward. I hope DC and Marvel adopt that. I got an idea. Learn how to draw. Instead of streaming online all day, why don't you be drawing?

How about that? 100% learn how to draw. There are some guys making some comics. Then you can get away with anything. Then you can be away with anything. Then you can be a fucking child molester and buy a comic. These are guys who

their whole life is comics and I look at what they're doing and I'm like, oh shit, I could draw better than that. This is like, I'm not too bad. What are you talking about?

You haven't seen any of my art. You don't know. I've seen what you're doodling. That's not actual art that's doodling. I've seen artists doodle and you can tell

that they have talent. I look at your doodle And you can tell that they have talent I look at your doodles and it just looks like It looks like boxy trash Like it's like it's two dimensional Well yeah it's two dimensional I mean I can add a little depth I can add a little But you have to choose to do that Real artists don't have to choose it just comes out of them

I think you're nuts You saw my storyboard there's some pretty Interesting Dynanism in there. Hey, I'm just calling it, man. I'm just calling it how I see it. I'm not saying I would... Draw me something good then. Let's go. How much

super chats to draw something good? What is something good? What do you want to draw? I've never heard an artist ask me these questions. They just draw something good. You're delaying. I'm not going to draw on the show. That would be a waste of time. Why? You're making these

bold claims like you could draw better than these other guys. I think I could draw some pretty good stuff. Who is the best least pedophile artist? Who's the best 100% no pedophile artist that we've got? In these communities or in the world? Yeah. I would hope most of the best artists are not pedophiles.

Oh, you'd be wrong. I don't know, man. There's a lot of great art out there. I hope it's not being made by pedophiles. It is. Stop this. Come on. Sorry, that makes you uncomfortable.

That's horrible to the art community. Speaking of pedophiles, I'm going to be on Mr. Girl's show on Monday arguing about black holes. I'm excited for this. Are you? Yeah, Mr. Girl is now a black hole expert. He became one in the span of about a month. That's fine. That's possible.

And for some reason, you are now also a black hole expert. Well, I'm not. I haven't read about this stuff in 20 years. So what, you saw him tweeting about black holes and you said, you're an idiot and I want to challenge you on this? No, I'm not, and I haven't read about this stuff in 20 years. So what, you saw him tweeting about black holes, and you said, you're an idiot, and I want to challenge you on this? No, I made a joke. He had this theory about the universe is a black hole, and I said, well, technically it would be a white hole, because that's what he's—this isn't something I came up with. This is something other people came up with.

The fuck's a white hole? You'll find out Monday. All right. It's about $300 an hour. That's what it— I was going to say. There's some setup there. I gave you a little runway. I wanted to see where you went with it. About 300 bucks an hour.

Wow, way to rimshot sound effect. What's a white hole? Boom. Come on, rimshot. About 300 bucks an hour. Oh, I need three hours of rimshot sound effects. Blown the fuck out! Is that enough fucking energy for you, you piece of shit?

Where does the general put his army? This is my sound effect for a joke. In his sleepy. I play a how to do a rim shot tutorial off YouTube. Today I'm going to show you five ways to make the... Or that good as copyright claim. I'm so glad. Oh yeah, right.

Thanks to Dick's need to use fucking copyrighted music, you cannot listen to the last show in Russia now. I was standing up to Putin. You were standing up to Putin. Yeah. Isn't that cool? Isn't that based? What were you playing?

Pat Benatar? Was that it? No, it was Melissa Etheridge. Oh, Melissa Etheridge. So somebody in Russia owns the rights to Melissa Etheridge. Putin, actually. He wrote it. Probably.

Man, he's got to come out with one ballad. If that guy comes out with just a banger of a ballad for all the ladies out there, and they can't resist it, you know? It's part country, part black, a little bit of Russian spice. He's not going to sing. There's too much. But he has to just come out. Too much on the line.

He wins at judo. He wins at hockey He finds ancient urns when he's snorkeling Did you see that? He's like oh I'm gonna go snorkeling And then he comes out after like 50 minutes of snorkeling going Oh by the way I found these 10,000 year old Pieces of pottery

And they're like oh my god A bunch of archaeologists were like, there's genuinely no possible way that was just in the... What are you saying? Putin took pottery down to the bottom of the ocean? It's not five feet under the fucking water,

okay? It's not on the beach. You know what my favorite part about Putin is? What's that? I don't know anything about his wife. That's very important. That's my least favorite part about Putin is? What's that? I don't know anything about his wife. That's very important. That's my least favorite part about every man in history. Yeah. Is learning a little something about his wife.

The longer I know about him, it's like being a troll that you got hit with. Like, ah, what's this flotsam? I like learning about Lincoln's wife because she was crazy. So you're like, I kind of identify with Lincoln. Yeah. When he got shot, he's probably like, oh, thank God. Yeah, he's like're like, I kind of identify with Lincoln. Yeah. When he got shot, he's probably like, oh, thank God. Yeah, he's like, bitch, I'm just trying to stop a war going on. She's like, rah! Mrs. Lincoln.

Did you ever see that Lincoln movie from Spielberg? Which one? It's called Lincoln. Maybe. It sucks. Oh, it does. It's with Daniel Day-Lewis and he's oh yeah i saw that just a bunch of speeches and shit did you do gay shit in the movie what are you talking about

i don't remember every every biopic is just let's cram a bunch of gay like that maestro one with what's his name they oh yeah guy bradley Bradley Cooper? Bradley Cooper got the big nose to play the Jewish maestro. Yeah, and he's pretending that he was his best friend and stuff. He's talking about himself as the guy very weirdly. He's like, no, all his kids said it was okay if I had a big, giant, fake Jew hook nose to play him. Watching the movie, I'm like, oh, wait a minute. The kids hate him, and they told this clown to wear a giant schnoz and just

they're like do more gay stuff make it all about the gay stuff fuck the music it's just gay stuff gay stuff gay stuff gay stuff

that was all my dad he was a big gay Jew yeah yeah get that in there and he was the he was you know the catcher the kids fucked up the movie

this shit on their dad I fired it up cause I was like maybe this will be interesting about the music and stuff and it was just gay shit. You thought a movie about a conductor was going to be cool?

Yes. I thought it would be about music. Well, I guess you're a music guy. You like music. You got a fucking slight for that. You care about all that gay shit. Oh, yeah, okay. Ooh, let me play my piano. I'm going to play my piano on stream and sing my silly songs. I'm just fucking with you.

Uh, alright. Everything you do is cool and based. What? Uh... In cartoons, when something is a different color, you know it's gonna move. I'll give you the W on that one. That's a pretty good problem.

Thanks. Failing to complete an errand. That was doing pretty good for a while. That was number one for a while. How many votes did I lose by? Like 30. Just enough. You should be tweeting about the show instead of making emojis for the show. Instead of setting up

clips for the show. Let me see. I don't do anything for the fucking show. I'm just saying if you want to get these W's. What was this I loaded up of yours? I don't know. Probably something terrible. Oh. What?

This is not a Beto's Twitter. This is funny. I don't know if I can even. Can I put this on? Yeah, you can. Because that's an actual. That's a YouTube thumbnail. It's on YouTube right now.

Yeah, but that's. Beto's Twitter. That's cost me a lot of accounts. Beto's Twitter. Playing stuff that's already on YouTube. Beto B. I can't see anything. I mean. Yeah, you put it up. Just put it up for two accounts. Veto's Twitter. Playing stuff that's already on YouTube. I can't see anything. I mean, yeah, you put it up.

Just put it up for two seconds. Veto on Twitter. Okay, that is Tifa. Veto on Twitter. You said, was looking for an FF7 collector's edition unboxing, and this was the top result. And this is Tifa from Final Fantasy VII. This is not an action figure.

This is a jack-off figure. It is definitely a jack-off figure. She has her shirts coming apart. Her tits are smaller than they should be, like always. There's a bunch of these unlicensed figures now. I don't know if you've seen this. It'll call, like, Tiza. Tiza Logzart from Funalfunks

and then you get it and it's too many twists well whatever there's a bunch of twists you know so this popped how deep did you have to go

with your jack off no I looked for cause the new Final Fantasy 7 came out right right right so I sorted it by you know the most recent videos

cause I wanted to see oh okay yeah I wanted to see oh okay what comes inside the collector's edition of the game. You want to come on top of the collector's edition. The most recent video that came out was not a collector's edition of boxing. It was just a naked Tifa action. Well, that makes more sense because you said this was at the top, and everyone's like,

how is that possibly at the top? Unless it's your fucked up search. Unless there's something wrong with your algorithm. No, I sorted it by new. You know. That's a critical piece of evidence. It says uploaded three hours ago. Yeah. Well, I didn't say, you know,

the tweet's not as exciting if you say, and this was the most recent video. I put a little spin on it. It's a lie. But no, this is not an algorithm. Is that what you thought this was? You thought my algorithm was suggesting this is very bizarre? I thought this was naked action figures. No, I just said, show me the newest ones because it came out literally like yesterday.

I wanted to see. And you're fiending for toys. I wanted to see. It comes with like a Sutherhout figure. I wanted to see what the figure looks like. Okay. You see they gave the little girl Teva a shirt. You see that?

Yes. Put a little black shirt on her to cover her boobs up. I'm not, well. What do you think about that? As long as it's, what do you call it, consistent. I think she wore that black shirt in the PSP game, so it's consistent. Because the PSP.

Yeah. They're coming them boobies up. Although this is a different universe. What do you think about that? She's 15 though What do you think about that? She's 15 What do you think about that? I always had a You're in the hot seat now

I am in the hot seat But I actually I actually do have a take on this I think her Okay I think her outfit was always ridiculous For that part of the game It was stupid

It makes no sense She's like a mountaineering guide Who's leading them to a reactor And you're like Up the top of a mountain? Isn't it really windy and cold up the top of a mountain? It's like, yeah. So what are you going to wear?

A cowboy hat and a bare midriff and my legs exposed. I'm like, no, she'd be wearing, like, mountaineering gear or something. No, women only get cold when it's annoying to us. They don't actually feel temperature. I know this for a fact. I don't know, man. Many studies back it up, but they only get cold when it's annoying to us to fuck with the thermostat because they have nothing inside of them.

I always thought that stupid cowboy-looking thing she was wearing made absolutely no sense. And honestly, I wish they just changed the whole thing and gave her clothes that make sense for what she's doing. Okay, well, you successfully dodged that question. It's not a dodge. It's an actual answer. I've thought about this. I said, good work this time, Vito.

Put up my 100% pedo-free banner. I've earned it. Good work this time. Vito explains the Tifa costume. Tifa costume. Ding. No pedophile. No pedophile point. That's pedophile free.

That's 1% no pedophile if I get 100 points. Stop with this. And your prize is a little girl. It's a stupid outfit. It's a stupid outfit. It shouldn't even be in the game. They should have changed it entirely.

Okay. I also don't like, what do you think about their swimsuits, though? They don't look great. They look like trash. They look weird. Just put her in a bikini, like a regular bikini. It made me feel less attracted to those women Yeah

Because they had such horrible tastes in swimsuits They were not accentuating their natural bodies at all Just absolute They're doing a bad job I don't know who's designing this stuff A man I think a gay guy is designing the stuff A straight man designed that shit

Or a woman who hates them. Because did you play the first Final Fantasy Remake? 7 Remake? I don't remember. I don't remember all the names now. Okay. Whatever. The new one? Yeah, but like, you know how you gotta go to Don Corneo's mansion so everyone's gotta wear like a fancy dress

to try and get them all horned up? Yeah. And you're a cross-dresser. Yeah, but all three of them look terrible. Aeris' dress looks terrible. Teef's dress looks cross-dresser. Yeah, but all three of them look terrible. Ares' dress looks terrible. Teef's dress looks terrible. And I don't even want to fuck Cloud in that dress. So they're just really dropping the ball. Okay.

That's enough of this. I could have made him a pretty little boy. Fake death threats. Fake death threats. That was yours. And then the destruction of alt-journalism and accidental screen shares came in last. I guess everyone likes it when it doesn't happen to them. I think a lot of people are not professional streamers who have to worry about this.

Oh, you can fuck that up. You can fuck that up in like a private citizen too. That's true. You know? Oops, I had my camera on. Oops. Whoops! Oopsies. Okay. Username says, Vito's cat is lost forever is probably the hardest I've laughed in 2024 so far. I'm glad my pain is a source of enjoyment to this show.

It's now or never. Vito's cat is lost forever. I'll admit, like, all week long, I've been in my kitchen. I'm just going, it's now or never. Vito's cat is lost forever. I'm like,, It's now or never. Vito's cat is lost forever. I'm like, ah, fuck. That's really catchy. I'll be like cooking eggs. I'm like,

Vito's cat is lost forever. That's fucked. And the guy singing it, I don't know what his voice was interesting. It's like, cool. It was like auto-tuned or something. He had throat cancer, I think. It was pretty good. Gordo like, cool. It was like auto-tuned or something. He had throat cancer, I think. It was pretty good. Okay, Gordo says,

Vito saying he's got a lot of stuff to do after telling a story about driving to three different stores to find butter while eating a meatball sub is amazing. Well, that's why you should have voted up failing to complete an errand because it is a big waste of time. You did spend a lot of time.

You spent more time that day looking for butter than you did working on your comics. I spent all of Sunday picking up a PlayStation 2 kiosk for my house that I also don't need. So time is being spent efficiently. What is the draw? Why do you need that PlayStation 2 cabinet? Let me pull it up. Because it's cool. So, no.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. It's not cool Dude I posted Okay I was on the edge Cause I was like Should I get it I don't really have a place

To put it And then I posted a picture On Twitter I said should I go get this And every comment was like Dude you have to go buy that Immediately They're fucking with you

They're telling you To do something bad Maybe they are fucking with me I don't know Even like Mersh From Revenge of the Sith Was like bro Like I

You know normally I give you shit, but if you don't buy that, you're an idiot. Yeah, they're definitely fucking with you. I don't know, man. Well, the monitor's loud for some reason. I think once it warms up, it should be less loud. It's not a warm up a monitor, that. What are you talking about?

It's true. I think this is working. This is the kiosk that they had in Best Buy where you could play 90 seconds of a game? Yeah. What are you going to do with this? Start on area. Look at it. How much was this?

$470. Oh! You know... What are you doing? It's a bargain! It's an actual... A bargain for what? For a fucking original game cabinet.

It sounds like a fucking outboard motor. Yeah, it does sound like an outboard motor. It sounds like you're on a houseboat now. Okay, it was going to take a year to load, but the point is it does work. It sounds bad. Look. Cool. Shut up.

This is like, okay, this comes. Cool. It is cool. Just burn the money. Just burn it. This is great. Look, the fan, I think the fan needs to be replaced. The fan's chugging, but I can just get any fan, put it in there.

You don't want the original parts? I can get the original parts. You can't resell it as original parts. I'm not going to resell it, but I can look up what fan model it is. Why are you not going to resell it? Because I want it because it's cool. I can put it in the background of my videos. People go like, hey, that guy's a real gamer.

He's got a PlayStation 2 kiosk. No one is questioning whether or not you're a a gamer okay that's a question for like women that people ask among gamers like okay sometimes i watch people's videos of their video game collections and i go man i'm a failure of a video game collector this guy's got like is this the same thing that you that you bought that's it in the back of my car yeah uh but the other flashlight on it that led it in the back of my car yeah uh but the flashlight on it that led monitor this was back when like you didn't have like flat screen monitors so that's the reason it's like chugging it's because it's like one of the first generation like

yeah flat screens i could maybe replace that or something or break it open it is a piece of history uh what was the shape of the person you bought it from? He was normal shaped I mean like his life He looked like a younger me honestly Which is actually more pathetic Cause he was like He was living in a house

I'm gonna hope it wasn't his house I'm like uh oh how's this guy doing better than me He's like yeah you know I just decided It was time to leave childish things behind. Did he say that? No. He's just moving some stuff he didn't want. That thing's cool.

I don't know how you're going to say that thing's not cool. It's trash. It's not trash. It's a PS2 kiosk. I'm going to get two wireless controllers to put on the side of it, and then you can just pick it up, play like, I'll put some arcade games in there, some fighting games. For what? What, like a haunted house? Yeah, like a haunted house. Kids, this could be, you

could live like this if you're not, if you don't learn some, uh, uh, money spent saving habits. It's better, okay, let's put it this way. You ever see, like, those stupid arcade one-up cabinets that, like, Boogie and the Quartering buy? Trash. Yeah. Fake, but those are fake arcade cabinets.

They're not even authentic in any way. This is like an authentic gaming item. At least it's like real hardware. It's not just an LED screen dressed up. And Boogie has one of each of those. And I go, Boogie, you had money. You could have bought real arcade machines. That would have been way cooler.

Is it cool or not? Do Ice Cube in chat if it's cool and no smoking sign if it's not cool. It's very cool. Okay. All the gamers in the chat right now are going, wow, that Vito has a taste for quality. The Real Dio Brando says, Eric July taking callers and muting them when they mention their stuff is next level loser behavior. Can't wait for 18 months from now where Eric can no longer afford his warehouse and scissor lift. Yeah, I think that's loser behavior, too. Well, at least he's going to be shipping other people's comics.

Buster Nuts says, That's a good point. That's weird. That's every single person on it. Oh, Vito spent years going over this thing. You guys spent decades. exact obsessive tendency. That's a good point. That's every single person on it. Oh, Vito spent years going over this thing. You guys spent decades going through every aspect of Chris Chan's life, and that's honestly far more pathetic than spending a week to,

or not even a couple hours to go on a 3D website and go, Ford truck. Yeah. Found it. There's the model he used. The Discipline of Dago said, Vito's capability to bounce back each week is impeccable. Love that big fella. Lieutenant Surge says, Vito is a great

example of the generational conflict within the progressive movement. I don't know what that means. Maybe you do. I think that was in reference to my journalism problem. Glenn Lentz says, Vito took the leak well. You did, man. You don't deserve the hate and pedo accusations you get.

You rule and you have fans with me and my friends who watch. Why are you reading it in a funny voice? That's how he typed it. No, hold on. He's got a very nice message for me. He's being very genuine and saying, hey, Vito,

that was really cool the way you took it. That's not a funny voice. And you go, Vito, really? You do got like this little high pitch going on. Anyone who gives me the tiniest amount of praise and my friends who watch, you're treating

it like- Keep doing what you're doing, man. And then a rock on emoji. As much as you put Vito on the spot for super killer, why am I still more optimistic for it There you go Is that better

It's not the fucking news here I'm just saying Well here's a really great positive comment I read it It's not a funny voice It was like a little more high pitched Than I think you normally are Sounds like a young guy

Sounds like a young goofy Like book readers. Wow, Vito, you did a really good job. That's what you're going towards. I can hear the inflection. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Solo Connell says, the death of Vice was a great problem.

Yeah, it led to a lot of discussion. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, great problem. It drives me up a wall. Vice was great. I was reading an article from a guy who used to work for Vice just talking about how bad it got and how they let the fucking inmates run the asylum. Yeah. Talk about how to eat out a non-op trans woman.

How do you possibly do that? That's great. Step one, put her non-op penis in your non-op mouth. You're going to make me throw up. Oh, hey, I got a segment, Dick. You want to pull up a little musical sting for me? Shit, you didn't tell me. I know.

You got to warn me. I know. Well, I was letting you try to remember your problem that you forgot. Oh, yeah, thanks. And I did, and I did remember it. And I wrote it down, thank God, because I would have forgotten it again. You got to write stuff down. It's very important.

Okay. Maybe you just do the VetoCat one again. Guys, why don't you vote it up! Hello. I've gathered all these votes. Vote it up.

Tonight, if you don't vote it up I'm gonna kill I'm gonna kill your fam Go go vote it up Biggestproblem.show Show show show show

Go go vote it up Biggestproblem.show Show show show show Go go vote it up They never know Where the cut is. However you think it is, it's at least 50% more. I might have to redo the Everlong stinger.

I had that on my list of ones I wanted to do. Oh, yeah. I don't know if that guy nailed it necessarily. Guys, vote it up. Revisiting past problems, putting them in a new light. Don't forget to use the vote voted up emoji during this segment. Isn't that fun? It's like you're part of the show.

I'm just fucking with you. That emoji's not very funny. I know. I think, well, whatever. Suggest more emojis. We can always change the emojis. No, they're using it. They're using it.

There you go. Hey, look, everybody's a part of the show. See, that's fun. Wait, here's where they said it was not cool. Someone said it's not a cool emoji. Right here. This is the not cool cabinet. Not cool.

This guy. These guys are saying it's cool, but that's a prank account. It's a very cool cabinet that I have. An official PS2 cabinet. Well, Dick, something else that's cool is this news relating to a problem from episode 104. This is a problem I brought in. Lack of congressional term limits. Oh.

Well, thankfully, someone's taking a stand by imposing their own limit on their own term. With Mitch McConnell, longest-serving Senate leader in history, announcing he will step down from that position in November. McConnell, who turned 82 last week, announced his decision last Wednesday. Unfortunately, he said he still plans to serve out his Senate term, which ends in 2027, despite the fact that he's barely functioning. At least he's admitted I should not be running this.

At least he has that much self-awareness. And now he's just going to sit in the back and nod off and collect his paycheck. It's a little better than what could have happened. If he lit himself on fire, I wouldn't congratulate him. Well, McConnell, of course, was one of these Reagan Republicans. He endorsed Reagan's view that America's role in the world should be as a global peacekeeper, which is why he helped push for a foreign assistance package that includes $60 billion for Ukraine. Against long odds, he managed to secure 22 Republican votes for this package and now

be considered by the House. So before he leaves, Dick, he got Ukraine possibly $60 billion. I'm sure you're excited about that. Yeah, because we're out of money. That's why he's leaving. I took all the money. That was it. You guys got no money. There's nothing for me to do here. I'm only here to steal money. He successfully

stole it, Dick, for up to almost two decades. From 2007 to 2024. Are you psyched about all that money going to Ukraine? Well, I think the Ukrainian people need some help. Need to die? Well, I'm not, no.

That's how war works, you know. They don't need to die. You go out there and they kill you. The other guys just execute you. That's how war happens. Did you know that part, at least? I'm aware. It's not like Pokemon, where they just get

They get knocked out. Yeah. They're dead. Like a shredder. Imagine a Pokemon game where you just shred the cards. Oh, Power World. Yeah. That's what happens in war. I think that, you know, global politics and the sociopolitical landscape, very

complicated. Obviously, we can't let... You know, they're older than you. The guys that they're taking and shooting them in the head or else they go get killed by Russians. They're older than you getting drafted. I think that... You like that. I don't like that. You love it. You know, we can't just let Putin do whatever he wants.

Who's we? You're not doing shit. Them's are dying. I think that you know, this has always been America's role, you know, to has always been America's role, you know, to kind of set an example, try to promote democracy abroad. Israel took a good note of our example. They did.

They're doing it better than we ever did. They're doing a much better job of it. Maybe way back in the Indian days did we do the genocide as good as Israel's doing it. I think it was a complicated subject, but regardless. Can you guys ever just say no? I don't want those guys to die. No.

Don't give them any money. They're just going to get killed. Don't do that. I think at this point, it does kind of seem like you're just funding a losing conflict, but we love funding losing conflicts. That's called murder, right? You can't even say that. I don't know what you call it.

What would it be called If somebody came in here Put a gun to your head and said Hey you need to go You need to go take on the LAPD Kill them all And if you don't I'll kill you You're talking about the forcible conscription of Ukrainian citizens That's what you refer to

Yeah yeah What would that be That'd be bad That'd be bad That'd be bad We shouldn't fund that Well guys if you agree that You know these congressional term limits are a problem right now What would that be? That'd be bad. That would be bad. That would be bad. We shouldn't fund that. Well, guys, if you agree that these congressional term limits are a problem right now, currently number 238 on the list, don't forget to vote it up.

Another problem that you might remember, tangentially related, my problem was the Pledge of Allegiance from episode nine. Oh, yeah. Episode nine. Yeah. This is the idea that in schools, they're forcing you to adhere to some stupid, outdated doctrine, recite it, memorize it. Yeah. All public elementary high schools and colleges must display the Ten Commandments in every class. Every single classroom.

I mean, that's better than the fucking Pledge of Allegiance. I agree with the Ten Commandments. Yeah, don't kill. Yes. Please put this twice in the inner city schools. Put every inner city school, instead of giving them money to read, put the fucking Ten Commandments in there. Do not kill. Respect your mother and father.

Don't covet and steal. Those are good. The Pledge of Allegiance is fucked. Always do what your government says. No. Wrong. Eleventh Commandment. Fuck the government and fuck the police. I would agree with you if the Ten Commandments were, yes, don't kill, don't steal.

Honor that father and mother. I don't think that, don't steal. Honor thy father and mother. Well, I don't think you have to honor your father. I don't think that's an important one. Honor your father and mother. Just behave like a jackass then. Some people have shitty fathers and mothers. You know, it's a logical inconsistency. Pick a different father then.

It's a metaphor. Not fucking literal. Here, look at this. Okay, it's not literal. So kids are going to understand that? Literally, yes. You think kids are going to understand honor thy father and mother means pick a father figure of any type? It could be Trump.

It could be your favorite actor or whatever else. It could be someone doing a Trump impression. It could be Barron Trump. It could be two idiots running a podcast and honor them. Yeah, let's go through the Ten Commandments. Let's see. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Honor thy father and see. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal.

Honor thy father and mother. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Definitely don't do that! If you went through with the getting married, you're gonna fuck up your life big time. Don't do the marriage thing, but if you did, definitely don't do adultery. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God

in vain. Yeah, sure. Okay, fine. Okay. How about this one? Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Sure. You think that should go with every- I don't care.

Those ones are dumb. No one cares about those. Well, they're not the five good commandments and the five you can ignore these commandments. They're the ten commandments. You don't get to pick and choose one of them. Look, it's better than the Pledge of Allegiance, okay? They're the Ten Commandments. You don't get to pick and choose one of them. It's better than the Pledge of Allegiance. It's better than spending 60 grand per student pretending

that these guys are going to learn calculus. This is the same representative who actually passed a bill that currently requires each public classroom to display the motto, In God We Trust. So I guess right now, In God We Trust. It's on the money. Why not throw it in class? Why do you have to put it on? That's a waste of time and money and who cares?

Why even have it? Waste of money? Shut up. What do you think this is? Are they running out of paint? You can't get around it because I guess previously they would get around it, like the in God we trust. People were getting creative and putting up like fucking, you know,

like pride banners with a little like in God we trust on the bottom. You're like, oh, that's funny. Whatever. The pride shit's been that God god that religion has been getting way too um way too many footholds in schools so but it's not a law that they have to put those up it's usually i think pride flag teachers decide they want to do that woman law runs education well you're not getting that out of there uh schools uh can use government funds to buy these posters or accept them as gifts. See, here's why it's good. Because women follow all rules that you give them.

They love rules. They do. And when you don't give them rules, they start making up crazy shit. Like, well, calories in, calories out is not real. I haven't read that on a wall anywhere. So that must be something my abusive husband. Frozen yogurt is low calorie. But if you got that shit on a wall, it's calories in, calories out.

Women are going to go, oh, okay, it's on the wall. It's on the wall. They do need words in front of them to really codify these things in. Yeah. Why don't we come up with ten commandments for women and we can just put that in every classroom? That would probably be more helpful. Shut the fuck up. That's four.

That's commandment number one. We'll figure all the rest of those out. Point is, guys, don't forget Pledge of Allegiance, currently number 210. Right. Don't forget to vote it up. Oh, shit. I don't have it ready. Give you this perfect little dropout.

You got to give me like a nod. I know. Yeah! Hello. Hello. I've gathered all these votes. Nailing it. Vote it up.

Tonight. If you don't vote it up. I'm going to kill. kill I'm gonna kill your fam Go vote it up Biggest problem dot show Show show show show show Go vote it up Biggest problem dot show

Show show show show show Go vote it up Yeah, he's kind of butchering one of my favorite songs. He's like faded it out himself in the worst fade I've ever heard. Watch this. This is how he chose to fade it out himself in the worst fade I've ever heard. Watch this. This is how he chose to fade it out. Let's hear it.

Okay. You can play a little bit of him. Go, show, show, show. Go, go, vote it out. Great fade. Masterful. Barely noticed it fading out. Show, show, show, show, show.

Go, go, go, and vote. Guy nailed it Alright, my problem is the The parallel economy The parallel economy Have we not done that? I don't know No, we haven't

I'm just saying it's surprising That we haven't done that It surprised me too I don't know It always seems like a good week To bring it in It does And then Eric Cholai announced

And then Eric Cholai announces His new His new scam Parallel economy His newest scam and then Eric July announces his new parallel economy. His newest scam. This is my greatest scam yet. Rip his end. Let's see here.

Is there a video to go with it? There is a video. Go to his YouTube for it. For the video? It's right here. Why don't you tell me what to do? You want me to do uh you do youtube okay well i just think it would be easier because you're blocked here well i have my ways around the blocks all right the owner of the river verse when we launched our comic book company in 2022 i took the risk of my life but it wasn't an uneducated risk we've had three campaigns over a million dollars

and that's due to us doing tons of research. A lot of that research had to do with analyzing the industry standards from content to distribution. And quite frankly, we couldn't make sense Look, system error. See that? Of a lot of it. So we did things differently. We handled everything ourselves

as a new company from the website functionality to the fulfillment. The hamster's just a bit, it's a joke, like for Reddit. And from the website functionality to the fulfillment. All of it was in-house, and we learned a lot along the way. We know what works, and we know what doesn't, and we are not afraid of change and improvement. Can you pause this for a second? Eric, you've been making comic books for two years. Two. You've shipped 40,000 things.

You don't know anything about shipping. You don't know anything about the business that you're running in at all. The worst thing you know is about marketing and shipping because you said it costs $17 to ship a comic. He's never going to let that down. You said when you donated to charity, you said it costs $17 to ship one of these comics. Or $20.

Or $14. Or $13. Cost somewhere in that. That's the worst shipping I've ever heard of. That's the worst. You have the worst rates on the planet. I'm thinking of the bag and board every comic. How much could that cost?

Or else you were scamming the charity. If you have good deals on shipping, you were scamming a fucking charity, bro. I don't know anything about that. I... So, uh... He's gonna be a... Well, his business doesn't even really make sense. I don't get it. I mean, I do get it, but... Scam. You get that part, right?

This is five minutes of him saying nothing, basically. Yeah, I don't know. Kept up with my videos. You know that many people ask me if we'll ever publish non-reperverse things. Evie Variety would have asked this question several months. Here's an example. New forms of funding such as crowdfunding have lowered the barrier for entry and that's great. The downside is that you have a lot of people that don't necessarily understand the business. If a no entry sign explodes...

If a no entry sign explodes... That means you're entering. That means you're sending more people in. Yeah, you're sending more in. Okay. It's all these visual metaphors. Like, dude, just tell me what it is. Do you really need the, like, hot music bed behind it? The...

Just say, hey, I'm going to ship your comics, and I'm going to take some of the money. I'm going to ship Yellow Flash's comic because I want 10% of his money. My little bitch, Yellow Flash guy, is going to give me a little taste of his comic, so I promote it as the first ever represent comic. It's going to be Radio Payola. It's pay for play. If you give me a taste, I will let you come on my stupid channel and have all my

idiot fans buy your thing. And then we're gonna trick all these stupid rubes to do a vanity press thing. Tucker Max tried this. I mean, this idea has been tried. You tried this. I haven't tried this. What are you talking about? Maddox Presents. No, that's not a vanity press. That is...

But it's the idea of using his existing clout. Don't try to fucking stump me and then interrupt me when your stumping doesn't work, you fucking prick. I'm not stumping you. It is a good idea. Uh, no, it's like Steven Spielberg Presents. Right. Which works. Which makes shitloads of money.

Steven Spielberg comes in. I like this project. I'm gonna produce it. Right. Here's my influence. This is RipaVers Presents. It's not RipaVers Presents. This is a vanity press project. You know what? Where's Superkiller?

Why don't you use this service? You know why this is a dumb idea? I'm not saying it's bad. Because the problem is creatives like you don't know. You don't care about getting your projects done because you're lazy. You do not. Have you changed anything since missing all these deadlines?

Yes, and I have missed one deadline. Two. No, because the first- December you missed and then you said it's coming in February. December was a soft deadline. Not for the people who paid hard money. Everybody can have their money back. I don't even want to make the fucking call again anymore.

You know what? Get a fucking refund. Get a what? Get a fucking refund. Get a refund. Get a fucking refund from Vito. It's never coming out. Superkiller is never coming out. Rip Ascend will make 10 box office killer comics before Superkiller comes out.

I'm just saying that, look, it makes sense that Eric has... Maddox Presents made sense. He would be a fucking millionaire if he did that. Okay, so explain the difference. What is the difference between Maddox Presents and Ripper Presents be a fucking millionaire if he did that Okay, so explain the difference What is the difference between Maddox Presents and Ripper Presents? It's the same fucking thing No, because he's not any good at being a creator

All he does is ship shit All he does is say, oh, you guys It's easy to make your own shit and ship it Use me and I'll take a cut And ship it for you Because the problem is The problem that I've identified In my stupid

brain is that shipping is the hard part. Not all the other stuff that comes before shipping. Like creative people not understanding how to run a team of people to produce their fucking comic. Well, when I watch this video from him and I'm making comics and I know other guys are making comics, like when he says

you know the big problem is like shipping them. And I'm like no, that's definitely the easiest part. Yeah. You put them in envelopes and you slap a label on them. Mm-hmm. And you get the same shipping price as everybody else on the planet. Well, that's the other thing that he's, like, just lying about. He goes, and because we have existing relationships, you're going to get the best shipping rates

and best printing rates. And I go, no. You're going to get the exact same rates that everyone gets. China And I go, no, you're going to get the exact same rates. China does not care about you. China goes, how many are you printing? And you go 10,000. They go, here's the price for 10,000. Yeah.

You know, I printed 50,000 of this one. And they go, right. But you're only printing 10,000 of this one. But I'm a black businessman. Oh, it'll be 12,000 then. We hate you. I mean, it's possible that if he was printing in insane numbers that he could organize some sort of bulk group rate,

but it's not going to be... The most you're going to save is a nickel a book or something. And again, you would make that money up just by doing it yourself. When he's like, you're going to get the cheapest shipping rates around, I'm like, well, you're not though because you're paying his guys to ship it for you. The cheapest possible shipping rate is send it to your house and ship it yourself. That will always be cheaper than having him do it. And every online e-commerce site advertises, we have huge discounts.

They're all using the same fucking discount. This is, if you give me a cut of your money, I will let you come on my stupid podcasts and things. And every day I will go, oh, we got a new great project. Come on and represent. It's Yellow Flash's gay superhero fucking Power Rangers book. And he's going to tie. And it's funny because people are giving like EVS shit.

And they're like, how come you never did this for creatives? And he's like, I did. And I did it for free for six years. I let them come on and promote their books. And I didn't charge them a cent. And I didn't take a portion of their money to help them ship it because that's retarded. I just told them how to do it themselves. Yeah. Yeah.

Here's why I hate it. Okay. Here's why it's the parallel economy, though, and not just I hate her July. I hate Eric July. These guys, the parallel economy has become synonymous with shitty products, shitty software, shitty content, right? But their goal, I think, is to undo the democratization of content production, which is you want to make content of distribution.

You want to make content, give it to people, give it to an audience, just go to YouTube. It's free, right? You can stream to whomever you want to make content of distribution. You want to make content, give it to people, give it to an audience, just go to YouTube. It's free. You can stream to whomever you want. We take a little bit of money on the back end. Before that, it was Hollywood, where you want to get it out. All this shit's expensive. This distribution's expensive. You've got to come to me. I'm going to take a huge cut. You, the creator, get nothing.

The person at the end has to pay a shitload to get your content. These guys, the parallel economy, wants to take the democratization of content that we have, that was pretty good, and they want to take it backwards a step to say, you know what? Sure, you can sell it to your fans and stuff. You can make something, sell it to people, and distribute it yourself using these tools.

But what if I was in the way? What can I do to insert myself? It's very predatory. And I hate it. And I hate that there are still suckers and rubes who think it's a good thing and that it's well intended in any way. It's not. Well, I'm a sucker and a rube because

when I first got it started on YouTube I got approached by one of these channel networks, MCNs. And I had no idea how YouTube worked. I honestly didn't. I'm like, I don't even know how you monetize this shit. What's going on? They're like, oh. And they lied to me, too. I'm like, so if I

go with you guys, do I get better ad rates? And they're like, yeah, pretty much. That's not true. They can't negotiate that at all. I'm like, if my channel gets a strike, do you know anybody at YouTube who can get rid of it or whatever? We'll try our best. Yeah, we'll do our best. No, they just use the same email form that I would use.

So it's all just a bunch of flim flam. And that's exactly what Eric's doing. It's like, oh, so you get cheaper rates because of who you are? Yeah, we get the cheapest rates around. Oh, wow. How did you do that? Cheaper than I would be able to get access to? Probably.

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. You seem pretty stupid that? Cheaper than I would be able to get access to? Probably. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. You seem pretty stupid, so maybe. It's the same. The Gina Carano thing, like, she bought into it. She's making fun of the Holocaust. Gets fired.

Or gets not renewed, whatever. Most obvious move on the planet, right? Oh, you're making fun of the Holocaust? You gotta apologize. No? I mean, yeah, you're fired. Definitely. Just apologize.

It's not that hard. So she buys into this parallel economy shit that these morons are selling to stupid people. Fails. Comes back. Tries to sue for her spot at the table back. Let me back in! Let me back in! Let me back in! This is a scam! They're trying to build what you guys have! I feel bad for Gina Carano in a way that... Why? She blamed men. Well, because when shit happened You know she was like

All these people are telling me You know to stay the course And that I'll have this new You know I can get fired from Disney And yeah I can just make cowboy movies for the Daily Wire And it'll be fine And now she's finding out Oh god I'm gonna be like that chick who left Star Trek Next Generation

In the first season And is now just stuck going to Comic-Cons. Yeah. And going, hey, remember I was on Star Trek once? You want to buy an autograph for 20 bucks? Did Null get in here? Is that? I got a good video of him saying he's going to kill you. Yeah, he's been saying a lot of stuff.

I'll play that for some money. I'm going to do Null clips for money now. At the end of the show, the super chats. Null is really upset when we talk about him. It's funny. I didn't realize he had such thin skin. He's like, I can't believe they talked about me for half an hour on their podcast. Guys, everyone make fun of Null.

He can't handle it. He's finally exposing just how stupid he is, and he doesn't realize that you can only pretend to be smart for so long until people start telling you you're a fucking idiot. You always have to hit down. Yeah. Hit up doesn't work. If you aim at two comedians who are just going to tear you apart. Yeah exactly. I don't know how anyone looks

at how we basically have ruined Eric July's image as a self assured self made businessman went no this guy doesn't even look black anymore. Now we're talking to a white guy. What's happening? It's like no this guy's mentally retarded. He doesn't even look black anymore. Now I'm trying to see the white guy. What's happening? It's like, no, this guy's an idiot, and he's doing everything wrong, and his comic's bad.

And they go, I want to fight with those guys now. Fucking, it makes no sense. Anyway. No, what were you saying a second ago about Gina Carano? What I was saying was. The point is that, yeah, the parallel economy is a lie being sold to a lot of stupid people. Very stupid. And I've tried to make the point to them.

I've said, your dream is you want to create. I get it. You're an artist. You're an actor, whatever. And you don't want to be gatekept out of being able to create because of your politics. And that makes perfect sense. I look at guys who got fired because they voted for Trump or they had conservative beliefs.

And you go, well, that's bullshit. You should be able to hold those beliefs to work. So there's two ways to look at it. One is the way that Eric's live is presenting it. And he says, well, if you get banned from Hollywood, the solution is we'll just make our own Hollywood. And I go, that's not going to work. That's not going to work. And that's actually super-duper counterproductive and bad and wrong,

and you're actually just making it worse. They will kick more of you guys out because they will have the excuse of, oh, well, you can just work for the Daily Wire. So we don't even have to feel bad now because now you have your parallel economy. Go do that. I think the actual job of independent creators and people who have maybe been pushed out of the mainstream is to go, I'm still a moneymaker. We're making great content. We're making cool shit.

The audience is receptive to it. I bring up EVS. He couldn't work at DC because he was too political or whatever. And then he went and he made his own comics. He's making millions of dollars. And it's demonstrating guys with money at the end of the day, they go, yeah, we care about all this trans stuff and gay stuff. And then they go, oh, my God, that guy did make a couple million dollars on that comic shane gillis i wish i had on snl gillis is like pushing the needle the way it needs to go he's not trying to be and he's not trying to do another snl right i hope not no

oh now that i'm yeah i gotta do another snl i have to be in a position where i can siphon the value from other people that's what annoys me about the parallel economy. It's not, well, awesome, we've got to democratize more of this and give more power to creators and their fans. It's how can I siphon these people's labor and value in a way where I provide nothing, where I do not increase any value at all. Well, that's also the worst part about Eric July, is that he masqueraded as a writer, a comic book writer for a period of about a year.

I don't think he's going to keep writing comic books. I think he's going to go, oh, I can just be the guy who other people do all the creative work and I take the money and I go, yeah, every business in the world. Yeah. Every, every business that has ever exploited creatives. You looked at that and you said, why not fucking doing that? Yeah. Every business that has ever exploited creatives, you looked at that and you said, why am I not fucking doing that? This is great.

But I could call it a parallel economy and make people think it's like this big new thing, but it's really just taking other creative people and I go, I want to just give you a little of that. I want to just give you a little of that. So yeah, he's publishing Drunk 3PO's next book.

He's going to take a little bit of that money. He's got Yellow Flies. I have a problem with these guys that are legitimizing this too. Don't buy these comics. Not that anyone fucking cares. But, you know. I mean, look. Morally indefensible.

At this point, I think anyone who's still buying Ripaverse comic books is just so much of a moron that I don't care how they spend their money. If you really want to buy eight different lenticular covers of a drunk 3PO's stupid book about a little kid who finds a magic crystal or whatever, okay, do it. Maybe it'll be worth a million dollars someday when the peril economy takes off and Daily Wire makes it into a fucking ship chilla.

It's about a little black girl. I was like, this is woke as fuck. What's a white guy writing about little black girls going on adventures? That's some woke shit. Did you see the Kiwi Farms guys that bought AlphaCore to spite you or us? Oh, yeah, I did see it. They said, just because of how much they've been shitting on Eric July, I just gave Eric July money.

And I'm like, ah, you really got me. You really nailed me to the wall on that one. It did upset me. If you really want to upset me, throw more of your money at Eric July. I'm blown the fuck out. And tell me how much Watch interracial porn too. That would really drive me up the wall.

Make sure to post screenshots of my campaign which is now over $85,000 to say, man, I'm owning Vito so hard. He only made $85,000. $85,000. Man, I'm owning Vito so hard. He only made $85,000. $85,000 and you can't get it out. I'm working with the artist. It's going great.

Everything's going great. What's the deadline? That's summer work. Summer's not a deadline. What's the deadline? Tomorrow. It's coming out tomorrow. Is it a page a day?

What's the deadline that you got? We're aiming for three pages a week, you know, drawn and inked. Okay. And then he's cleaning up a couple pages so that the colorist is taking it. We got the colorist working on it now. Okay. All right. Why does this have to turn to an air chai problem?

Why does this have to turn to a veto problem? Can you start bragging about your stuff? I'm not bragging about it. It's going to be good. Start bragging about the money you're making. I do have to figure out what tags to put into a veto problem. Can you start bragging about your stuff? I'm not bragging about it. It's going to be good. Start bragging about the money you're making. I do have to figure out what tags to put on the stuffed animals. I guess legally I have to put where they were made in China or else I go to jail. Put this tag on it.

Yeah, I'm going to put that on it. I should put that on it. I'm not putting that on it. Maybe I'll put that on the veto plush. I don't want that. Get that fucking thing off me. What do you mean? You fucking made it go away.

Now it's gone forever. Transform. Where's the transform? And reset transformation. There it is. Now it's all fucked up in the corner. There you go. You ruined the illusion. There's your 100% pedo-free badge. Alright, I don't care.

I think it's cool. It is cool. Alright, your problem. Yeah. Parallel's cool. It is cool. Alright, your problem. Parallel economy. What are you going to do? They're just, again, taking advantage of stupid people. Oops. Not to mention, the IndieCom... It's just, here's what I'm worried about

with Ripa's stupid... Why am I calling him Ripa? Eric's stupid fucking thing is he's just going to reach out to all his stupid YouTube friends and go, Hey, let's make a comic. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's good. I'll hire a bunch of Brazilians to write it and draw it for you.

And Quartering, you can have your stupid comic. And Melanie Mack, you can have your stupid comic. And Nina Infinity, you can have the adventures of the magical goblin queen. They're starting to realize how bad it looks to be just constantly ripping off your viewers. Like, Quartering looked like a fucking moron supporting Eric Jalai's lawsuit against us. Yes. You can tell when he talks about it now, the Quartering knows how stupid he looked. Like, you can tell when he's talking about it.

Because Eric lied to all of them, and they all just bought it. They just bought it because he's black. Yeah. Like, uh, really? What could I do for you, Mr. Eric? Oh, yes. I'll do that voice. My channel's open to you.

My channel's open to you, sir. I really wish I had a screenshot of Yellow Flash saying, can we crowdfund the lawsuit? That was one of the comments. Crowdfund my nuts. Yeah, crowdfund my nuts, you fucking piece of shit. Fight me in the ring. I want to fight you in the ring. Crowdfund my dick in your, crowdfund my nuts, you fucking piece of shit. Fight me in the ring. I want to fight you in the ring. Crowdfund my dick in your mouth, bitch.

All right, we will pick a venue. You can wear a gay fucking anime mask so no one has to see your pockmark ridden fucking nerd face. And I will pound you into the ground, you piece of shit. I hate that fucking guy. My problem, dick, is distracted children. Oh. I would think you'd like that. Wait for that to come back on.

No, it's back on. Okay. I didn't know the best way to put this, but I'll put it. You put it the worst way possible. I put it the worst way. Well, there's a lot of bad ways to put it. So, like, you ever. What are they distracted by?

Like, when I'm making love with my. No, no, no no no no you ever like walking until they're thinking about something else you ever walking through like a store like a department store and you're just walking in a straight line and there's like a kid who's like running around and shit yeah and you're like all right i'm just gonna keep walking forward but in the back of my head i'm like i know that fucking kid's gonna like run into my path or bump into me or something. Right at my penis.

Yeah, immediately. And then the second the kid is like, oh, my God. And he just fucking runs right into you. And you're like, will you get the fuck out of here? Or you watch all those videos of Chinese kids playing in the street and they get hit by a truck. Yeah. Yeah, all the time. And you're like, why can't these kids just not get hit?

But why are they? There's a truck right there. It's backing up, and the kid's just staring at it. Oh, it's the fucking truck. And then it runs them the fuck over. Well, that's the problem, that they're constantly distracted by shit. And it's a problem for the rest of us. How often do you come upon this problem?

Anytime I'm out... Sorry, how often do you come on this problem? I'm phrasing. Kids are a problem. How often do you encounter distracted children, though? At least like once a month, I want to say. Like court mandated once a month? No, like, all right.

Kids will also, they just, they focus on all the stupidest shit and they're like unaware of their surroundings. They're kids. What do you want? Little adults? What are you talking aboutest shit and they're like unaware of their surroundings. They have no- They're kids. What do you want? Little adults? What are you talking about? Of course they're doing this. Right. But it leads to problems because then we start passing laws because children are stupid.

And it's like, I think we just should accept the children are stupid. We should stop trying to protect them with all these fucking laws. What kind of laws do you have that children have spawned with their carelessness? Well, one of the reasons we have all these speed limits is because of all these stupid kids that run on the road. Fucking 3,300 child pedestrians are killed each year in the 23 countries that track this data. UK and American children are some of the stupidest with rates three times as high as other countries.

Oh, is India reporting their children getting run over correctly? No, but I'm saying those kids are also probably pretty fucking stupid, and I'm sure the Chinese aren't reporting either. Okay, so out of the white countries, America and the U.K. have the most kids getting run over out of kids. There's a lot of that. Out of the white, yeah. Out of the white, I mean, yeah.

Okay. I mean, I don't know what color kids are getting hit by the trucks in these countries either. We do have a mixed diversity here. But the point is, I want to drive really fast, and I can't. Because you've got a school zone. You've got to go slow, because kids can't figure out. You should be driving slow.

Why? Because you're probably on your phone. Yeah, I am on my phone. No one wants you to be driving. You don't need to be driving that fast. You do not need to be driving more than 17 miles an hour. I should be able to drive whatever I want, and the only reason I can is because some kid is going to go, oh, googly-doogly, and fucking jump out in the street and get run over.

I think you just accept, you know, it's like cats. My cat probably got hit by a car. Is it sad? Sure. But it's the same with kids. You should go, you know what? They're stupid. They're dumb. They're punk.? Sure. But it's the same with kids. You should go, you know what? They're stupid. They're dumb.

They're punk. All right. There's also attractive nuisance laws. You know that? Attractive laws with kids? Shut up. Attractive nuisances. Are you aware of that concept?

No. The attractive nuisance is the idea that even though it's your private property, you have to think about whether or not your piece of private property that you own might be attractive to a child in some way and put up barriers to prevent them from having fun on your land and getting hurt he's talking about like how like if you have a swimming pool oh you have to put a fence you have to put up a fence because otherwise a kid from the street might see it too well why is it my responsibility if If your kid's just wandering around and sees my pool, if you have a trampoline

or something, you have to put up no trespassing signs, because kids are so stupid and they see a shiny fucking thing, and they don't know that you have a cool giant pit that you dug for yourself. It's your giant hole in the ground. It's my pit. I can dig my dirt wherever I want. Right. Exactly. I pay property taxes to fucking school

that would teach kids not to come on your fucking property. It doesn't work. So you can't dig a giant, endless hole on your property because kids are so stupid that they might fall into it. Even though it's private property. Uh-huh. I see what you're saying. Other examples, tree houses. Gun laws.

What have you built? Gun lock laws. Gun locks, yes. You've got to lock up your gun for no reason. You've got gotta make sure Your well is padlocked Or you have to buy a gun lock Kids are always jumping in wells

For fun you know Any sort of Yeah every time Like a kid drowns And they're interviewing the mom It's like Can you just cut her off Like just

You're fucking things up lady Your kid decided to go on Public property Private property Even ladders Scaffolding ladders If you have like an open construction site, you have to like put up signs. I've had that ladder up for months. Yeah, well, if a

kid sees it, he goes, oh, fucking ladder. I'm not aware of my surroundings. I'm just so easily distracted by shiny, stupid things. I don't notice that that ladder is leading into a death trap that you've constructed for yourself because it's funny. And you can be nailed for that.

The problem is, Dick, that kids do not have the spatial awareness of adults. There was a task given to adults and children. Do you have a study that says that kids are clumsy? Is that necessary?

No, but it's an example of how they test this kind of thing. They did that thing. You ever watch that video where they have the people passing the basketball? You ever watch that one? Basketball? The game? Yeah, you ever watch that video?

I've watched basketball before. No, whatever. What are you talking about? People passing a basketball? Well, I don't want to spoil it. It's like a perception test. I didn't bring in the video, so you can watch it later.

So you're not going to spoil a scientific video that no one's going to watch? What the fuck are you talking about? There was another test, though, where they... What's the first test? Is this a pornography thing? Can I bring up the video? Here, let me type it. I want to know why you wouldn't

spoil this test. Because I thought about bringing it in, and I didn't. Basketball test. Yeah. Children. No, not children. That's not going to find it. Just give me the thing.

I can find it in two seconds. All right, so the idea is that kids can't count the number of times basketball gets passed and forth. They get too easily distracted by what's going on. So basketball perception test passing. Jesus Christ. Okay. All right. So this will be good.

Let's see. Can you bring this up, like, full screen? You have to stop moving. Yeah. All right. So like an adult, this is easy. You'll easily be able to count, but let's try to do it. This is an awareness test.

All right. You don't want to spoiler this? How many passes does the team in white make? So watch the team in white and try to count how many times they pass the basketball. One, two, three, four, five. I don't have to count if you're counting. Okay, well, then you count. Eight.

I don't have to count if you're counting. Five. Okay, well, then you count. Eight. The answer is 13. 13, you got it wrong. You were distracting me. But did you see the moonwalking bear? This is the test?

Well, Dick has the sensory perception of a child because he missed the bear that walks across the screen in the middle of it And does a little funny dance What, did that really? A bear went in the middle? Yeah, dude Watch There's a bear

He's dressed all in black You can't, come on That's not, it looks just like the other guys He's not all in black. You can't. Come on. That's not. It looks just like the other guys. He's not moonwalking either. He just goes like this. Everyone's in fucking black. Now is this a fucking test?

This is what all of social sciences is based on. Retarded shit like this. Yeah. Did you see the bear? Did you see the bear? I don't know. What bear? A man wearing black clothes?

No, it wasn't a fucking bear. I know. They kind of tricked you a little bit. Still, that was funny. It's another joke. I hope the number's in order. It's not a study. Another one.

Like your stupid numbers game. I mean, but you didn't even count the number of passes right. Because you weren't counting. You were counting out loud for some reason. Regardless, the point is people are not always aware of their perceptions. Children more so than others. Easily distracted. I used to have this Power Rangers t-shirt and I had to stop wearing it.

Because I guess kids love Power Rangers. Oh. And one day I'm just like out. You had to build a little fence around you. I was at Radio Shack. This is how old this was. I don't forget what I was trying to get, like a cell phone battery or something. Okay.

Kid just runs up and he goes, hey, yo, Red Ranger. And he starts like poking me. And the dad's like, what are you fucking doing, buddy? I'm like, what am I doing? You need to teach him to not run up and touch strangers' bellies. That's the guy's bro. With my proclivities. Yeah, exactly.

Like, you see a big guy with a beard wearing, like, friendly childhood t-shirts. Teach your kid, like, eh, stranger danger. Let's not do that. Yeah. Anyway, my problem is, again, distracted children coming onto my land trying to play in my pool. Yeah, I hate it. Fuck it.

That's bullshit. There's a lot of bullshit out there. There shouldn't be any laws for, well, maybe a couple. For helping children. Again, I think you can prevent marketing poison to children. I get it. You're Mr. Child. Every single time some freedom comes up, you're like, well, we got to stop children from drinking bleach. They were giving in China.

They had like bad baby formula that was just killing babies. Like, that's bad. Because they're Chinese. Okay, the free market, a lot of it has to do with Chinese people, alright? You gotta factor for that. No, it literally doesn't. The Chinese cannot handle the free market, okay? America can.

So only rules for Chinese people. They can handle their own shit. I don't know what system they shit. We buy their shit. We shouldn't be buying their shit. Then that's a whole different fucking argument. Not really. Anyway. Dick, that is my problem. Distracted children.

My problem is my problem is guys bouncing their leg. Constantly. Guys bouncing. Not even you, man. My problem is guys bouncing their leg constantly. Burning the show. Guys bouncing. Not even you, man. How are you going to tell me? You don't want me to have energy on the show.

Not even you. Okay, not even me. Every, I see it all the time now. I think like, I don't know, three-fourths of every guy that I see on the street or anywhere, even on TV, I'm watching that Love is Blind show. Every fucking guy, his leg like a fucking thumper from Bambi You know I don't know how to stop it honestly

Just stop I can't Yes you can Just stop doing it If you're listening If you're a guy Look to your left and look to your right You are the one with this problem

Of bouncing your leg It's a problem of like you have too much I don't know like like energy or something. You have no self-control. You have to stop. You know when it, okay, you remember I had that mushroom chocolate? What? When?

Today? No, no, no, but I'm just saying I've had some. You're telling me you had mushrooms? Not today, but in general. Okay. I'm not going to say where I got it from. Me? Yeah, okay.

I didn't know if I could say that I didn't know, I was trying to dance around it a little bit Remember when you gave me Mushroom chocolate Oh, I know about it then Anyway, the way I would take like a square Because it would give me like this like energy And you know how I knew it was kicking in

Is my toe would just start tapping And I go, oh, it's working That's like a mythos that you've invented for yourself to behave terribly. It started like unconsciously. I'm not doing it consciously. So you're one of these guys bouncing your knee all the time? When the energy hits or after I finish working out, I'll be like tapping my fucking leg incessantly because I've still got all the-

What do you mean by when you say working out? What do you mean by that? After I use the exercise bike, like right when I stop, there's still like some energy. You're still pedaling like a dog in their sleep? I guess. I don't know. I just end up tapping my foot because I'm like, oh, fuck, jeez, I still got that energy kicking around in me.

You guys have to stop this shit. I don't... It's really distracting and aggravating. I know. I just fixate on it. Now, every time I see it, it's just like... Don't fix on it because it ain't going to stop. Everyone's doing it.

I just don't know what the point of anything else is. If you're sitting there going... I don't know, man. What are you revving up for, man? I guess I got to exhaust my energy some other way. By stopping. I go crazy. No, you have to stop.

It's like telling me I can't tear up a little piece of paper for the course of the entire show. You can't do all this stuff. And I just fiddle. I don't know, man. Our fucking, our simian brains are not built for the amount of overstimulation that we're fed in a modern society. Man was not meant to. Oh, society that's making you guys do this? Genuinely, I think so, yes.

I think we are driving ourselves insane. Let's put it this way. Back in the day, what did you have to manage? I got to find berries today. I got to find some berries. I got to find some fresh water. Maybe a place with some shades. I bet guys were still doing this shit back then.

Maybe. I don't know. Now I go, okay, I got 50 different subscriptions to something, and I got to cancel half of them, and I got an electric bill, cable bill. I got to pick up this PS2 cabinet. I got to pick up this PS2 cabinet because otherwise he's going to sell it to somebody else, and I'm going to forever regret that time I didn't get a PS2 cabinet.

I'm going to fucking... At some point, you run out of room, right? I'm out of room. So then you stop spending money so you can get a bigger place. Or just get a storage unit and start filling it up like a psychopath. I do want to get a place. Where do I get a place in California? What do you mean, place?

Like one that doesn't cost $1.3 million. Oh, a house? Yeah. No, you're done. You voted wrong too many times. Okay. It's done for you. I'm going to have to move to Lancaster.

Say goodbye to your stuff. No, you can get a nice, you can get a little home security or something. No. Put some locks on the door. Not every house in Lancaster gets. You'll love it. There's a lot of Democrat voters in Lancaster. You're going to fucking love it.

You can move in there. You can be in the middle of nowhere. Put some locks on the doors. Oh, they'll find you. They will find you. They'll sniff you out. All right. Can we leave?

One of the biggest problems with this show is we can't move this show. Well, I'm not moving. I know you're not. Where do you want to move? Just go to Vegas. Man, Vegas is a shithole. Why do you say that? What about it appeals to you?

It's cool. There's a lot of stuff going on. No income tax. What's going on there? There's all... That big sphere? Well, there's always events. Danny Gans?

There's always events in town. Comedians are always in town. Shows. I would rather be raped than go to a comedy show. By a man. Sorry. We should go to comedy shows. No.

Comedy shows are like the drags. I kind of want to go to Hackamania. Is anyone going to Hackamania in our audience? Hackamania? Yeah. Computers? No, it's the Carl from WATP and- What is this?

Nobody Loves Onions. All the podcasters are meeting up in Vegas. Oh, wow. There you go. All right. And Carl's going to be there? Carl's going to be there. Are you angling for an invite right now?

I mean, I'm sure if I said, hey, can I show up, they wouldn't mind. Actually, it's hard to find their website. There's the guy's Twitter, so he'd probably link to it, the second one. It's a lot of the Stuttering John guys. I wonder if Shuley's going to be there. I don't know. You think there's more stuff happening know. You like these things happen. You think there's more stuff happening in Vegas than there is in LA?

No, but I'm saying that not only is there an equal amount of stuff going on probably as in LA. Okay. But also just, again, no income tax. More to spend on toys. Yeah, more to spend on toys. Okay. And property is not cheap, but it's more affordable than it is in L.A.

I mean, Jesus Christ, you can get a house for like half a mil in Vegas. It's 120 degrees out there. You can adopt. Central A.C. in every fucking house. Are you kidding me? Is that your retirement plan, Vegas? I'm thinking about it. There's a lot of video game stores out there, too.

I guess everybody must just fly in and they lose their shirt and they pawn all their shit. Every time I go to Vegas, I'm buying stuff like crazy. They've got all sorts of cool comic stores, toy stores. More stuff to buy. More stuff to buy. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I mean, I guess that's one way to go.

How many times have you been to Vegas? A lot? The second I moved, I've been to Vegas, I don't know, 10 times. Yeah? You ever been to the suburbs out there? I've driven around the suburbs. I know it's a lot of crime. How long have you?

Okay. I've seen the bad parts of Vegas. I know. Trust me, because I always get an Airbnb in the bad parts of town, and then I go, got to get back to the strip. You get an Airbnb on the outskirts for like 50 bucks. Yeah. I just, look, I know how

this show ends. This show ends with me giving up on the California dream because I'm priced out. Of owning a house? Yeah. You've been voting too bad, man. It's gone. The only way this show continues is if this show somehow becomes like one of

these top podcasts where the hosts are making like 10k a month. Like your podcast. Yeah, then you could afford a house. Then I could afford a house because then I could go to the bank and go look, I have stable income. It's coming in. Either that or I hit it big on the stock market which I have been hitting it big on the stock market.

You gotta quit. Stock tip veto is nailing it. You got to quit. Stop. I even had Tony from Hack the Movie send me a little message. He's like, hey, you had hymns, huh? I'm like, yeah. Look at that. Hymns coming up.

I told you to buy hymns. I told you. Yeah. I don't just buy stocks. I understand your argument against it, but it's a great stuff. How'd Bitcoin do in that time? Bitcoin's doing great right now. Did you buy any Doge right now?

I bought a little Doge. Ride the ponies. I know it's stupid, but the people buying it are stupid, which is why it'll go up. The greater fool theory. The greater fool theory. A truly genius. Let's be clear. Someone is dumber than me, right?

Yes. And they all think that. Just don't be the dumbest person. Yeah, oh yeah. And we met a lady at that Dune event last night who lost like 100,000 on Celsius. Oh, she did? Yeah. She was like, oh, that's Celsius crash.

I'm like, yeah, I know a guy who lost 80K. And she's like, oh, 80K. That would have been nice. I don't know exactly how much she lost. But look. Too bad. I almost got clawed back on that. Yeah?

Really? Yeah, because I got out before. Yeah, I remember that. I luckily got clawed back on that. Yeah? Really? Yeah, because I got out before. Yeah, I remember that. I luckily had it all converted to cash, so I think I lost a little bit. A little bit? At least it wasn't in FTX. Everybody in FTX lost everything, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's funny seeing that guy in prison. Which guy? Oh, yeah. Sam. Bankman Freed. Bankman. People were zooming in on his crotch area and remarking.

See if he got raped. I think they think he doesn't have a penis because it's just like, there's nothing in there. I hate that sort of talk. I understand that. Obviously, the man's got a penis. He's fucking that little goblin. My buddy in LA is selling his house.

1.3 million is the asking price. Wow. Where at? North of Pasadena. Well, if you want to get big money, you got to bring big energy. You can't be coming in here sipping coffee like it's fucking NPR.

You got to come in hot. I don't know what to do, man. I don't know. I'm just going to be stuck in this shitty little apartment forever. Or at least you'll die being crushed by PlayStation 2s or whatever. I will be crushed by PlayStation 2s.

I actually have to get rid of my couch to make room for all my video games right now. Vito, stop. I don't use the couch. But if there's not a couch, then it's not really a living space, is it? It's a prison cell. It is a prison cell. And the prison is your toys. Well, that living room I'm going to convert.

It's going to be my whatnot selling station. So it'll be a place for me to sell all the extra stuff I have so I can make room for more stuff. The only way you can get a house is to become a gambling purveyor on whatnot, like you're saying. That's a good plan. I could make good money that way. But you have to actually do it. Not your usual talking about it. Well. When are you going to do Yeah. That's a good plan. I could make good money that way. But you have to actually do it. Yeah, I know. Not your usual, like, talking about it. Well, I've been-

When are you going to do it? When's your first one? I've been focused on the comic book. I'm trying to get the comic book 100%. Okay, you have to find some more focus. You have to go out. Whatever it is. I got to get the couch out of there.

Once I get the couch out of there- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll have a little bit of room. Nah, you don't need that shit. You just need a little table. I have a little table. You're right. Well, I also, you know, no, no, no. I'll have a little bit of room. Nah, you don't need that shit. You just need a little table. I have a little table. You're right. Well, I also, you know, sometimes it's soul crushing.

I watch some of these guys on Whatnot, and they're selling, and there's nobody in the room. And they put up a thing for auction, and it sells for like half of what it sells for. And they just go, oh, God, why did I put it up for auction with only six people in here? Like, it's kind of nerve wracking. Sell fake cards. And say they're real. You have to start off selling, like, trash so you have, like, a following

and then you can start selling the good stuff. You gotta start, though. It's gonna be too late. I am gonna start. You're gonna be dead. I am gonna be dead. You gotta start... How long have you been planning this whatnot shit?

Longer than Superkiller? I put everything off. Except Superkiller, which is coming immediately. That's being put off big time. Superkiller's not being put off. You gotta crack the whip on those guys. I am cracking the whip. It's looking great. Who's the most lagging in their Supergirl is not being put off. You got to crack the whip on those guys. I am cracking the whip. It's looking great.

Who's the most lagging in their responsibilities right now? Me, always. So who's second most? All responsibility comes to me. No one else is responsible for anything. That's a bad attitude. I'm not throwing my creative people under the bus. I'm not going to do it.

Look, everybody's doing great. But everyone already blames them. Well, they shouldn't. They don't believe you. They should blame me. I don't care. Nah, we don't. We know it's them. Well, they shouldn't. They don't believe you. They should blame me. I don't care. Nah, we don't. We know it's them.

Everything is a learning process. I'm learning what everybody can do and what speed they can do it at. And we have new people coming on to help with the next books coming along. So those will be even faster. Honestly, if Eric, if anybody wanted to help independent comics, they should, they should loan themselves out as a project manager. Project manager and a line producer, that's what creative people need.

Creative people cannot run teams because they're just like, they're libtarded. Their brains are scrambled. I've had a couple people, because I mentioned this on the last show, reach out and be like, hey, you want me to help you manage your project? Yes. Say yes. I don't know who to hire. I'm always indecisive. This is, I mean,

pick one. It's the problem. Send it to me. One of these fucking people I've hired. I'm always indecisive. This is, I mean, pick one. It's the problem, exactly. Send it to me. Some of these fucking people I've hired. I have, my editor might be able to pull double duty. As what? Whipping people into shape. Whipping himself? He's fine. He does great work, so he's not causing trouble. But that's what I'm saying.

The only thing that they need help on is time management. That's what I, when Ripa goes, the biggest problem is shipping. I'm like, no, it's not. That's like the easiest part of this whole thing. The hard part is coordinating a bunch of people and a lot of them have day jobs and other projects. This is

nonsense what you're saying. This is what they tell you so they can just fuck off and jack off for a night instead of working. This is your dream. You gotta grab them and bring it out of there. I know, but I was one of those guys. When I was working on the card game, I was always like, I'll get to it. Was someone a cocksucker to you?

Yeah, well, I probably needed a cocksucker to be like, hey, Vito, we need those print files on Friday. I'm like, ah, okay. Or it's your ass. You've got to pick a catchphrase. Or it's your ass every time you talk to them. I never say that. I just say you're doing great work, and I'm really excited to see what you come up with sarcastically you gotta say it like

that sarcastically i think you gotta find autistic kids who got nothing else going on they just want to work constantly there was a guy who at one point he gave like a seminar like a programming conference and he's like programmers what you want autistic kids that's it anybody with like a backbone or like a social life you don't really want that. You want a kid who's just excited to program for the sake of programming, and you never have to give him a raise because he doesn't know what it is. I mean, that's, okay. You need some guys at the top shore to manage the fucking autism.

He's like, you need one guy, like a dick, to yell at all the autistic kids, but the rest of your programmers should just be weird kids. Autism is not an asset. You're going to be arguing all day if you hire all autistic people. Okay, anyway, bouncing your leg. You guys, if you're a leg bouncer, stop acting like it's cute or just something you do. Fucking stop it.

Dick, my problem is fake transparent images. You search for an image. That's the biggest problem. That's the biggest problem. That's the biggest problem in the universe. Yeah. Show's over. Because it would be one thing

if it was just like, oh, this image has a background that I'm going to have to take out myself in Photoshop. At least now I'm planning for it. Instead I download it and there's a bunch of gray and white squares

which actually makes it way harder to take the background out. And they know that. And they know that. And they know that. That's why they did it, to trick you, because they want you to pay or sign up for their site to download the actual transparent image. Yeah.

That should be against the fucking law. It should be. Google should say anyone who uploads a fake transparent image, we're removing your site entirely from all search results moving forward. You will never be indexed because you are ruining the internet for everyone else. I did learn a little trick, Dick, to find fake transparent images. What? If you're using Google Chrome, click on the image and hold, and then you can drag it.

And if as you drag it, you'll be able to see if the background is truly transparent. Oh, that's a good life hack. That is a good life hack. It's a good life hack. But until then, these motherfuckers need to be brought to justice with their fake

transparent images. What if you could do that for women? Like on Tinder, you click and drag it and you see her actual face? How fat she is? Yeah.

Oh, God! It's cropped lovingly and then you get to see Ah! It's like this And then you see everything Whoa I think that would be good Fake transparent images

That's a big one That's a rough one man Especially me because I'm a guy Now I'm excited about AI Because I never have to worry about it I can just generate what I want I don't have to constantly search for fucking source images. It's great.

You know what the worst part about AI is? Is people think that you want to see their AI shit. Yeah. So they send it to you. They put it in and they're like, hey, check it out. You're like, why would I want to see this? I'd have to disagree. No, I made this.

I made it. It, I made it. It's, like, part of me. Like, it's total trash. Like, a child drawing. At least they drew it. It's still dog shit. And I understand, like, a child's lack of restraint. You, a full-grown man, posting your AI trash, sending it to me for me to see,

what happened here? I got to disagree. Because you think it's I, what happened here? I got to disagree. Because you think it's cool what you made. I want to see what other people are making. It's cool to me. Just so they have to look at your thing though, right? No. Because you want the reciprocity to kick in.

I keep telling all my friends, I'm like, you got to try making AI art. And they're like, why? And I'm like, just try it. So I can send you mine. So you send me yours and I send you mine. Well, I guess I do end up going, look at how cool this is. Yeah. I made Hank Hill as a samurai, which is still a really cool.

You say it. Imagine Hank Hill as a samurai. Yeah, got it. Yeah, but check out this picture that I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That new AI song app is pretty great. Oh, no. Is that what that is? Yeah.

What do you mean? It's an AI song app? Yeah, it makes music Did you see my Pony in a Jar song? I'm ready to die I'm saying it's mine I'm ready to die Put the AI made it

I'm ready to go It's gonna get really good It's gonna make really good music really soon But it won't Yeah, well, what do you mean no? I mean, it'll at least give you the basis for a song And maybe you could take it as a songwriter and you could refine it. But it's just like an AI did the singing and stuff,

and then you send it to people? Yeah. You're advertising for a computer. I don't know, man. Like, look, it's terrifying that human creativity is being destroyed. But it's not. That's not creative. It kind of is.

Sitting there going, Hank Hill is a samurai. That's not creative. It kind of is. Sitting there going Hank Hill is a samurai, that's not creative. It's like nothing. But I'm saying, what if I came up with the idea of Hank Hill is a samurai and then I wanted to draw it and make it cool? But you didn't, though. Right. You just did the Hank Hill is a samurai part. Well, yeah, but me drawing it would have been pointless. How would that have achieved a greater good?

I mean, you don't have the skills to do that, though. I do. No. Well, not draw it exactly, but you've seen my shirt where Hank Hill is Goku. Yeah. Yeah, Photoshop. Well, I took a frame of Hank Hill, and I drew over it to achieve it, and then I found a Goku body, and I drew over it.

Traced it. Yeah, I traced it. I traced it a little bit I found a Goku body and I drew over it. Traced it. Yeah, I traced it. I traced it a little bit. It's not illegal. It's definitely illegal. You can't trace shit. It's parody. I want to say it's parody.

No, you cannot trace existing property and it's parody. No, you cannot. That's not fair use. It's a gray line there, I'm going to say. No. Anyway, but now i can just have the fucking ai do it i could have saved all this time i could have just said make me hank hill as goku i probably should do that would probably look better in the shirt i got on my website and that's creative to you that's funny yeah yeah but it's not like create it's not like a threatening

human create creativity though Well I mean I think you could I don't know man who knows What if it gets to the point where I just go You know write me a song about a chandelier And it comes out You think that's creative? Well no but that's what's top of the pops baby

I'm Gonna swing From the chandelier here. And just a fucking... What is creative to you? Well, Super Killer is very creative. Okay. I ripped off a lot of different stuff for Super Killer.

And that's the most creative thing of all. All creativity is borrowing and stealing. So I guess that's the weird thing. Is that just something people say when they want to look like they're insightful about creativity? It is. Every artist got started seeing a piece of art and trying to imitate it. Again, I've heard that before. Well, what artist just

sat down and said, no, I want to do something completely different? It's like, no, you saw... God. Okay, alright. You as a young person saw a piece of art and you said, that's cool. I wonder if I could do that. Yeah. And that's why you go through the developmental stages of art.

You start with copying icons and emblems. There's the emblem period of an artist's drawing that a lot of people get stuck in where you're just kind of not actually drawing an item. You're drawing the idea of an item. You ever see like teenage girls will draw a bunch of stupid little... I've never seen teenage girls do nothing. Or teenage boys. I don't even know. Definitely not teenage boys.

I'm not gay. They'll draw... Okay, but if you ask a kid, like a kid, you go, like, draw a soda cup, right? And it's exciting because you're like, oh, yeah, a circle on top is the lid, and then this is the base. But they're not really drawing a soda cup. They're drawing the idea of a soda cup. A drawing. No, because if you put a soda cup in front of me,

you said to draw it would be a much different thing. It's not like an icon, like an emblem. Did you ever see that book, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain? Do you know that one? No. It's very interesting. It's fascinating. I don't like books about, like, this is how. It's all about retraining yourself. It's like, okay, try drawing a chair upside down, you know that one? No. It's very interesting. It's fascinating. I don't like books about like, this is how.

It's all about retraining yourself. It's like, okay, try drawing a chair upside down, you know? Because you've always thought of a chair as this thing. You're going to sit on your head? I think they have a picture of it in the book. I don't remember exactly what the exercise is. That'd be hard. But the point is unlocking, trying to like actually draw something,

not just draw like, again, this iconography of it. Is this like, is this like is this what all the famous artists did they read books about drawing upside-down chairs and stuff no mostly they all well it depends what period of art any good one well a lot of them you know had Loomis you got to study your Loomis what's Loomis Loomis had figured drawing for that guy Loomis Loomis house wait Loomis house a guy Loomis? Loomis House? Wait, Loomis House? There's a guy Loomis that lived around here. Maybe.

He might have been. He was a famous commercial illustrator. Oh, okay. He drew advertisements or something. He put out a book, Figure Drawing the Loomis Way or something. And pretty much, even now, people are like, how do I start learning how to draw? And everyone goes, you got to study your Loomis, bro. Loomis?

All that shit about the heroic figure is six heads tall and men should be exaggerated in this way. Pretty easy. I don't need a book for that. All right. It's a good book, Loomis. Figure drawing the something way. I want to say it's the Loomis way. So do people, when they buy that book, they're like, this will make me a better artist?

Yeah, it will make you a better artist. How many of them are good artists? Like none. The ones who studied are good artists? Like, none. The ones who studied Loomis are doing pretty good. Pretty, pretty. How to Draw Manga. Is that what they? No, that was a bad book.

Oh, that was a bad book. Do you know that book? The original How to Draw Manga? I owned that one. No. There was one where they just found this lady, Katie Cooper, I think was like some 20-year-old lady, and they're like, can you teach kids how to draw manga? Sure.

And she taught an entire generation of kids how to draw terribly. All the advice is just bad, and it looks awful, and she's not Japanese, and she can't draw manga. And kids are like, oh, I read that book. That's the reason I'm not an artist now, because it fucked me. And they think that.

Yeah. Because it was scholastic. You know why? It was like sold through the scholastic program. So like the book fair would come to school. Stochastic book fair. But you're like, oh, cool. I'm going to learn how to draw from a 20-year-old who doesn't know how to draw.

This is going to be awesome. Everybody's just looking for answers, right? I want to be a good artist, but I need to read a book about it. No, you should read a book. There's two good books. Get that Loomis figure drawing. Yeah, but you have to be good also. You can learn this. Everybody thinks they can't learn

this. No, if you're not good, you're never going to be good. I wasn't good. Now I'm pretty good. At what? Drawing. No. You haven't seen any of my art. Draw something. How much to draw something? It's going to bog down the show. I have to focus on it. This is the most engaging

shit ever. What do you want me to draw? How much for you to draw something? Or don't do it. Pick a number. You pick a number. You're the fucking artist. I'll do a commission for 50 bucks. 50 bucks?

50 bucks. Well, I'll draw an original piece of art and they can pick what I draw. Oh, yeah. That's good. That's fun. And no pedophile stuff. No pedophile stuff at all. No kids.

No black shit. No black shit. Unless it's positive. No, even if it's positive, no. I don't want to put you in that position. Maybe I can send it to you. I'll put it in an envelope and I'll mail it to you for 50 bucks. Alright, so was that your problem?

My problem was what was my problem? Fake transparent images. Oh, man. Let's do some voicemails. And then... Are we gonna review Dune?

Should we review Dune? I don't... We can talk about it. Do you want to? I mean, it is like the number one movie in America right now. We both saw it. Yeah, dude. It's big. I thought it was good. I thought it was pretty. We both saw it. Yeah, dude. It's big. I thought it was good. I don't know if you did.

I thought it was pretty good. Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was good. Again, like I said, it's like super racist. It's like, yeah, if there's a bunch of brown people, all that needs to happen is for one white guy to show up and trick them. It's all about, it's the Muhammad story. It's like, what if Muhammad showed up and he was white and he tricked

all these brown people and they're believing it and starting a holy war? How easy would that be? And it's like, well, Muhammad showed up and he was white and he tricked all these brown people into believing in it and starting a holy war? How easy would that be? And it's like, well, very easy. They'll fall for anything. Yeah, you should go to Africa and start telling them what to do. See how easy this fucking white savior complex of yours is. It's easy. Oh, wow, this worked in Dune! As your

balls are eaten in front of you. You have to send in many Jesuit missionaries a couple hundred years in advance to prepare them to water the... Oh, so it's very complicated. Yeah, you gotta set up a savior myth and then once the savior myth's set up, you just send in one white guy. I think white people have been gaslit into thinking that such a myth exists and that we should

meddle around with these guys and we shouldn't. It's also about how women fuck up everything. That's true. That's just a good part of Doom. I liked watching it. I liked imagining that the women Were communicating telepathically But that they actually weren't And they just thought they were

They just thought they were talking to their baby You know what your sister's saying? She's a fetus mom You're an idiot And his sister was Well I won't spoil it Who cares? Well I guess Dune did come out in the 70s

So it's kind of spoiled by now. But his sister is Anna Taylor Joy. Showed up in that little scene. I think you missed that. I didn't miss anything. What was I doing? No, but I'm saying, remember the part where there's a lady on the beach? I was like, this is going to go over some people's heads.

Oh, yeah, there was a beach. There was a beach with water. What the hell? I thought there was only deserts. Anna Taylor Joy was talking to him. I don't know why you keep saying that. I don't know who thats. And Anna Taylor-Joy was talking to him. I don't know who that is. The lady from the Queen's Gambit with the big eyes.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the fat. Yeah, she's got like a weird fish face. Yeah. That was like his sister, for some reason, imagining herself as a grown woman talking to him. And I'm like, no one's going to get this. I barely get this.

Look what we've built But you've never seen the original Dune Right? No. The David Winch So that's the thing me and Dirk on the way home Cause I brought my buddy Dirk to the screening We're talking about how what we really missed is in the David Lynch Dune His sister's already born At that part where you know

They confront the emperor or whatever And she's just this fucked up little kid with like no hair Wearing like the Benny Jezrit shit And she's just this fucked up little kid with, like, no hair, wearing, like, the Bene Gesserit shit. And she goes, my brother is going to come and destroy you. And they're like, get that kid out of there. Silence, witch. And it's just this little fucked up kid with a fucked up voice.

And I'm like, I miss the little kid in the movie. Yeah, I wanted the little kid yelling at everyone. As a joke? No. Well, yeah, kind of as a joke. As a joke. Also because it was awesome. No, it was really, in the movie,

Silent Switch! My brother will seize control of Arrakis! And then we put on the original Dune and we watched, we just watched that scene. You went home and you watched more Dune? Oh my fucking lord. You need to watch the original Dune,

it's great. You know that big fat guy who sucks? That was cool. The Baron? That guy was cool, yeah. Yeah, but you have to see him in the original where he's just like floating around and killing his little underage boy lovers. He has- I want to see that.

First of all, originally he was a homosexual. They had to get rid of that, I guess. He was homosexual in that movie. Not really. He was killing women. What is more homosexual than that? That's a good point. But he's getting off on it. Not really, he was killing women And David Lynch And David Lynch That's a good point But he's getting off on it

In David Lynch's Dune All his little man boy All his man boy slaves have this little thing Where their heart is, it's like a plug That if you take it out, it's like taking out part of their heart So he just goes up to this little guy Who's like arranging all his fake flowers In his barren chambers And he's like, yes! And he rips out his heart plug And he starts rubbing blood to this little guy who's arranging all his fake flowers in his barren chambers.

He's like, yes! And he rips out his heart plug and he starts rubbing the blood all over the guy's face. Because that's his heart or whatever. And he's floating around. You gotta watch the original Dune. It's great. It's all covered in sores and boils. I don't want to watch anything like what you're describing.

Well, everybody gets mad because they're like, well, that was very homophobic. I'm like, I think you can have a big, floating, fat, diseased guy with super aides ripping people's hearts out. Without being homophobic. I don't think that hurts the gay community. I think that's what you said was homophobic. I think you saying that's homophobic is homophobic. Yeah, it's not like every gay guy is doing that. This is very homophobic is homophobic. Yeah, it's not like every gay guy is doing that. This is very homophobic.

Look at that fat guy with AIDS all over his face floating around and screaming at people. That hurts the gay community. If you see the scene. I'm going to read the names of all the followers. All right. I won't do it. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants it.

Who the fuck wants to sit there, listen to the- Okay, okay, okay, okay. I make mistakes. I will say thank you to everybody who signed up as a member. Thank you. We're not reading your name, though. We will not read your name. That's why you signed up.

Unless you signed up for the Mac Club. We're not reading any Macs either. It's 50 bucks. It's 50 bucks. I'll read your name. How much longer are we going to be taking bets? Is there any betting? All right, all right.

How long it takes for Vito to initiate a dni uh group within his like company or whatever he's doing it why why can't you just push your artist to like get something done on time or like you know get something done he is getting it done we're making great projects you gotta you're you're the boss you are giving them money you are You are the person who's paying for their services. You have to have a set date as to when things are going to be finished and worked on and done. I mean, were you just too scared to push them to kind of say, hey, listen, we have to meet a deadline? Or are you just operating based on their timeline, which is just going to fucking screw you over in the long run, man? It's going to screw you over in the long run.

Yeah, man, you've got to fucking tell these people, like, yo, we need to get this, this, and this done by this and this date. All right. Where's the progress on that? I know. All right, bye. Well, what's your answer to that? We're canceling the comic. I don't want to deal with it anymore. That's your answer for everything? We're canceling the comic.

That's your answer for everything. I'm just done. I quit. I quit the comic. I quit the show. I quit everything. I don't care. We're not doing Vito's Booty this week.

We're done with that. It's all over. We'll just burn it. Vito is very right about the lack of good alternative journalism. Thank you. Dito is very right about the lack of good alternative journalism. Thank you. Specifically, I also like to add to that the lack of physical magazines or physical – the physical physicality of that as well is a big problem. I mean, it's kind of sad that reading is good for you.

Reading makes you smarter. Reading makes you a bit more coherent with the world and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But they don't offer it to, it'll offer like that kind of edge,

that kind of interesting reading material anymore at all. It's just all gone. Like you, you, the, the, the, the fact that you can't get interesting ideas like vice media,

like playboy magazines anymore. Um, it's just, you know, it's just sucks. Nothing's better than getting stoned and reading a fucking Playboy or reading some interesting articles, a 100-ass Tomfitt interview or whatever. I don't know.

It just sucks. Thanks. Bye. He's being honest. Okay, I thought he was being sarcastic. I know. You kept waiting for him to, like, fuck around. Here comes the turn.

I can hear it. I will say this is that I have a project in mind. Again, it's getting pushed off Until other projects are maybe off my plate Bro you are Mr. Project I'm not Mr. Project This is something that we could do Who's we? Anyone who wants to be involved

I think you should be involved I think we should do a A magazine Not like a monthly thing But like a small press magazine. Like a digital magazine that's on the internet? No, the exact opposite. Oh, okay.

It would only be physical. It would be a physical magazine featuring articles from myself. Mr. Girl has expressed interest. Everyone loves Mr. Girl. Ralph has expressed interest. Yeah. It would be like one of these old school alternative publications. Mr. Girl has expressed interest. Everyone loves Mr. Girl. Ralph has expressed interest. Yeah. It would be like one of these old school alternative publications.

Would you deliver it by a donkey? No, we'd mail it to people. We'd mail it to people. Look, here's the thing. Ralph is a writer. You're a writer. I'm a writer. None of us are writing because we're all making videos and podcasts and streaming or whatever. There is really no outlet.

If I said, hey, I wrote an article, people would go, well, I'm not going to make time to read an article. I don't read articles anymore. We don't do that. Well, because you don't write because you're not a writer. That's why. I'm not a writer. No, you're not a writer. You don't write regularly.

Writers write. I do write. What are you talking about? I'm not a writer what's your last piece all those fucking I'm writing the comics I'm writing the fucking treatments I'm writing fucking

oh my god what are you writing what are you writing I didn't say I was a writer you wrote a book I didn't say I was a fucking writer we're writers okay you don't consider yourself a writer wrote a book i didn't say i was a fucking writer you're a we're all we're writers okay you're not you don't consider yourself a writer no i'm not writing am i do you consider yourself a former writer i wrote i'm i was an author i was an author yeah i wrote a i wrote a book that's

fine why do you gotta why are you gonna destroy any idea it's like i'm a writer and i want to make a magazine but like people are writing right all the time like they got a sub stack i constantly updated but the point is that why have a sub stack is kind of updated nobody's reading that shit it's like a waste of your effort and time i would know those motherfuckers make the people who do write they're making a lot it's it's okay again the problem has been yes i guess there's like some of these guys who are like extremely specialized in what they're writing about and maybe they're doing okay. Like, uh, what's his name? Jesse Singhal, I think is doing the medium thing or whatever.

Okay. Yeah. So yeah, there's guys like that. The problem is like, you know, just like talking trash and fun, cool articles about interesting sociopolitical topics. And I think each issue would be themed around a topic. So it's going to be like ISOM, but no pictures? Is that? I think the pitch is it's a small press magazine. It's going to feature articles.

And we would get guys like Sargon of Akkad. He's a guy who's written, but now he's just like podcasting like podcasting all you want to read something written by sargon of akkad i'm not saying i necessarily am like somebody would though yeah somebody's paying i think there's an audience out there who likes people loved your book people loved your writing but there's no great outlet for it right now like where if you wanted to write something where would you put it you wouldn't what am i writing what do you mean i don't know't. What am I writing? What do you mean? I don't know. Like a one-off article.

Again, so yeah, you're right. These guys are on Medium, but they have to produce it constantly. What if you're just a guy and you go, I want to write an article? Because the way magazines used to work is you'd go, you didn't have to be writing all the time. You'd go, hey, I want to pitch an article to you. No, you would have to be writing. You'd have to have a background. You'd have to have some.

But again, if you're like a known quantity quantity and a lot of these guys are known quantities. Ralph had a whole website. He was publishing news all the time and he was writing opinion articles. I used to I was working in journalism, working on video game websites, whatever else. I had blogs and all sorts of nonsense. But then there's just not really an outlet for

it unless you make it your entire focus and you're the guy who has a medium and it gets updated all the time. Yeah, that's being a writer. I think you can also be a guy. We could get Gavin McGinnis to come out of retirement and write something. Gavin McGinnis? Who the fuck wants to read Gavin McGinnis?

Who wants to read Gavin McGinnis? A lot of people would want to read Gavin McGinnis. That's like a joke. I want to see what Gavin... I think you guys, or maybe you, I don't want to speak for everybody, you're in love with the idea of the past and

the way that you consume media back then, but that's dead. It's gone. I think that there is room in the marketplace if you said, listen, it's going to be maybe a once. It could be like a yearly publication, just like, ah, it's the yearly magazine. You're saying that it's good because

there's less of it. That's what I'm hearing. It could be a throwback. People like a throwback. You know, it you're saying that it's good because there's less of it that's what i'm hearing it could be a throwback people like a throwback you know it could be because it's good or because it's nostalgic it is good it genuinely all they like it because it's good or they like it because it's nostalgic they like it because it's good i think writing has value it's just that it's become devalued in the current marketplace because it's much easier what we're doing right now value but it has become devalued because the current marketplace because it's much easier. What we're doing right now. It has value, but it has become devalued because of why? Because what we're doing right now can generate income much quicker than writing. We know this. Okay.

Right now we're getting super chats. We have memberships, whatever else. It is easy to, and we sit down for several hours and we shoot the shit and it's funny and it's interesting. Writing takes time and effort. And at the end of the day, there's not as many people who want to read an article as want to listen to a podcast. It's a more niche thing. But if it's a you know special event for people who enjoy writing who people who enjoyed these magazines and you know well I want to get it

it's only going to be available physically it's not something we just shove on a website and forget about. Why not? Because I think that adds to the appeal of it. The marketing. It's marketing. It's not marketing. The same as I saw them. No, it's because.

And why isn't it just on a website? Why can you not watch every TV show? You have to pirate. You can pirate it. Sure. The same as any other piece of media. But why don't you just put it on a website? What makes it good?

What? What do you mean what makes it good? Why is it not just on a website? What makes it good? What do you mean what makes it good? Why is it not just on a website? Why is it in a magazine? Because if it's on a website, it's just devalued. It's not special in any way. It's just sitting there like every other piece of writing that's ever been on the internet. Sounds like marketing.

Why don't they just put books on the internet for free? Sell a pet rock. Why do they sell books at all? Well, books are online. They charge... More people do Kindles than books. Okay, we can do a digital version, but it's going to be twice the physical. It costs the physical version.

I want people to actually have to pick up and read it. Yeah, because that's the thing that you want. It's like a nostalgia thing. It feels like a nostalgia thing. To me, I think you have to divorce people. What about a scroll that you have to unroll? Whoa, wow. That's a nostalgic thing. To me, I think you have to divorce people. Like, I will go. What about a scroll that you have to unroll? Whoa, wow. That's a good one.

Hear ye, hear ye. Shut up, shut up. I think when you give people a website article, they start reading it. Yeah. And they're on their phone. Yeah. And then they go, hey, what else is on my phone? Oh, shit, I got a text message.

Oh, shit, here's a little word. So when you're on a book, you can't, like, swipe it, right? Is that what you're saying? Kind of, yeah. Sounds like a Roseanne Barr joke. Well, it's a little word. So when you're on a book, you can't swipe it, right? Is that what you're saying? Kind of, yeah. Sounds like a Roseanne Barr joke. Well, it's not a joke. Why don't I just get my phone out? I genuinely think you become more...

You want to make vice, is what you're saying. Not vice, because again, I'm not trying to run like a watered down vice. It would be a Fun Thing Maybe it could be hardbound Something you want to put on your shelf I want it to be something that Like I saw

Here's the other thing It's fucking I saw Shut the fuck up You never go back to an internet article You read an internet article and you throw it away Because there's a billion of them This is something I want you to go Hey that was an interesting think piece

From Mr. Girl One of the greatest thinkers of her time I want to pull that off my shelf. I want to go through that again. Or I want to show it to somebody who came over to my house. Hey, you got to read this thing. It's interesting. Okay, you're not a part of it.

Someone that comes to your house, hey, check out this Mr. Girl article. Don't worry. Produced by Vito. You're not allowed to be a part of my magazine anymore. I wish that you were telling the truth right now when you're saying that I'm not involved in this. And that I'll never be bothered by it. This is going to be one of these things where it gets going and it's fun and everybody's becoming a part of it.

And you go, oh, Ralph is actually going to do something. Shit. Maybe I could contribute a little something. And Sargon's going to do it too? Oh, I'm going to bust a fucking nut. I could absolutely get Sargon involved. And I think we'd just, whatever, whatever we just split it equally uh whatever revenue we'd i just want to know why it was good and how it's not isom something you're buying we're

getting guys who i think are good writers who have but they don't write and there's a lot of like political opinions and the only place you hear them is in some stupid fucking podcast or like you know whatever video and i'm like i think that ideas can be better expressed when they're thought out and written out and it's more interesting to consume on a blog not a i think it also just gets people excited i think it would get the writers excited to be a part of why are you so defensive about a fucking magazine? I don't want to do anything. Fuck it.

Just no, let's just give up. I'm just asking why it's any better than a blog. It's just, you're right, it's just the isom.

It's just the same as isom. It's all trash. It sounds the same. Nothing matters. Everything's a waste. I love that you make fun of Eric July so much. The written word is trash.

The written word is useless. Just put it on a blog. It doesn't matter. Yeah, what do I know, right? Eric July, he had everything right. He just didn't say no enough. Dick, master writer who isn't a writer, apparently. I'm just asking why it's good to be in a magazine.

I think there's a number of reasons it's exciting. Is there a guy on the front with a duct tape over his mouth And it says like censored or something Or is it a guy going like Fuck Is it Gavin McGinnis going fuck you on the cover Cause that would be cool It's gonna be a bunch of lesbians making out It'll be like little cartoons in there

Little comics you know That's the thing It'll also be It'll have humor and whatever There'll be a mix It's like a sampler of all these different creative people talking about different stuff and making art. It's like an appetizer.

You can have art in there, you know? Yeah. Yes, it would be in the style of a Vice magazine. I think you like the idea of being a creative force producer. Shut up. Because I know you're going to couch that in some. That's what I'm saying. But you're not actually creative or interesting in any way

Have you bought a magazine ever? Yeah When's the last magazine you bought? I haven't bought magazines recently because they don't have them anymore They have what you're talking about All kinds of guys who are nostalgic About the old days have done what you're doing The answer is not on those papers

Like who? Nobody knows who they are because no one gives a shit i think that there are like you know what have you got sam hyde to call it my cock that could be the name of the my beautiful penis check it out hey everybody look at my beautiful penis pick yourself up a copy you can you can really appreciate my beautiful penis magazine you just have to destroy everything yes Yes. Not enough people do. That's why everything is so fucked. No, everything has already been

destroyed. The point is that I bravely want to try and save some of it. Rewind time. It's not rewinding time. It's just Call it good old days magazine. Fuck it. You know what? You're right. Just let the computer make all your entertainment for you. I don't

think it can! Okay. Alright. You want to go to the Super Chats? Sure. Why not? Who cares? Why even make a comic book? I don't care. Other people are already making comic books.

I agree. I agree with that. Why make anything? I would like to know. There's no point. I'm going to have that question when it comes out. There's no point in doing anything. What is the point of this?

Here, let me blow it up for you. Look, I know you live at the top of a mountain, man. You got a bunch of fucking money socked away, so you're ready to weather out the apocalypse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rest of us are out here, and we want to be a part of society. I'm asking you why it's good. What is good? But you have to define what is good.

What is good to you? Why is it not ISOM? Why is this relevant at all? Why is it a magazine instead of just a fucking website? Because I think there's interesting guys with interesting ideas, and if we just say, hey, we have a fucking website, and you read about it, people are going to go, yeah, there's like a million fucking websites.

If it's a limited press. Why is it different? Because it's a fucking magazine. Because it's an event. We're going to make it an event, okay? Why do you have a party instead of just calling up your buddy and saying happy birthday shitbag? You make it into a thing.

You make it into something. You elevate the human experience. Everyone's connected and enjoying it and contributing to it. How? By getting people together and making a fucking collaborative project. An inaccessible document? It is accessible. Or is the internet something that people can...

The amount of inaccessibility is that I'm asking you to buy it and ship it to your house? That's the end of the fucking world? How do I participate in this magazine with other people? If you want to make it so accessible, why is it in a form that I can't participate with other people in? So all you want is a digital version. I'm saying the reason that magazines died is because of the internet. And you're saying what we've got to do is take the internet and make magazines. Why?

I think because it's not a mass market product. It doesn't have to be a mass market product. It can be a small niche community creating and consuming it. So why is that not online? Because I think it makes it more you have to be dedicated to the idea.

You have to say, I'm committing to sending this thing to my house and I'm going to read it. I'm not just going to open it in a browser and fucking play Flappy Bird while I half-heartedly read it. It sounds like I sound like fucking Ice. That is not Ice House pitch. It sounds like a fucking cult. It's not a cult. You have to support it.

You have to be willing to buy it and have it. Why do you go to a concert? You're enjoying a live music experience that's different than the recording with other fans. I could just stream it. It's still live. No. Listening to music live out of those speakers is different than listening at home. So the audio quality is worse.

Live? No. The audio quality is overwhelmingly better live. Right. You're saying it's better live. You feel it. Yeah. But you can't possibly extrapolate that out to the idea of reading the written word outside of a fucking shitty internet forum.

I don't think reading on a magazine makes it better than reading on a phone. Well, maybe I just really got more out of magazines than you did. You definitely got more out of magazines. I think you weren't reading the right magazines. I read Playboy. Well, I looked at it. I read Nintendo Power. I read the shit out of magazines. I think you weren't reading the right magazines. I read Playboy. Well, I looked at it. I read Nintendo Power. I read the shit out of Nintendo Power.

But, like, yeah, I have some old Nintendo Powers, and they're incredible. I threw mine in the trash. All of them. I had every single Nintendo Power ever made. Well, I didn't have all of them, but I had a big collection, and I really regret throwing them out. I've been rebuying some of them. I don't regret it at all. I don't either.

I think it was a great movie. But I think you're crazy. Like, I look at those Nintendo Power Artists and I go yeah, if you put a bunch of maps of game stages, I'd be like, yeah, who cares? But when it's laid out in a magazine format and I pull it out and there's art and there's the developers talking about it, I don't know. I find it infinitely

more interesting to consume. If it was on the internet, I wouldn't want to consume it. There are scans I don't think you consume it, though. There are scans of every Nintendo Power issue. I never want to read those. But when I have the actual magazine in my hands and I'm looking at it, I'm going, okay, wow, hey, this is cool. This is interesting. I think you like having it to have. If you were actually consuming it for information or to participate with those maps to actually read them, you'd want them digitized online.

I genuinely just prefer physical media. I buy. If there's a comic I like, I will buy the actual comic and ship it to my house because I can take it with me from my room. I can have it in the bathroom or whatever to pick it up. But that's not society. They don't want that. I think some portions of society want that.

And the ones who do... Do you own any books? Very few. And when I'm done reading them, I throw them away. Do you dislike reading them? No, they're fine. But I don't like to have them, I throw them away. Do you dislike reading them? No, they're fine. But I don't like to have them. I just toss them when I'm done with them or give them away or leave them on the street. I mean, you're talking to me, a guy who has said,

the digital copy of my comic will be free because I consider digital media worthless. I just don't think that people apply value to it. Right. So, okay, back to the point. You want to give the magazine away for free? Fine. If having the item is what makes it good, then what does it matter what's inside? That's why it's ISOM. You're selling this idea

of owning this physical media to sounds like what's inside is irrelevant. Other than that, people who are famous have, or, you know, sort of famous, have contributed to it. But owning the item seems like 90% of the draw. I think the point is that we live in a time where there is so much free content

that is just given away, right? Right. So everything has become worthless. There was a point in time where if you told me, hey, a VHS copy of Ghostbusters is $50, I would have said, well, that seems reasonable. I can watch it whenever I want. $50. I can watch Ghostbusters anytime. Now, if you told me $50 for a movie, I'd go, no. Movies are free. What are you talking

about? Yeah, VHS used to be $90. Yeah, it used to be as much. Yeah, it could be like $100. $50 would have been a bargain back then. Yeah. Okay, so we've devalued media down to the point of $0. Which is good. It comes with certain things that we have to grapple with. I mean, all the game companies

are figuring this out where they're going, I don't understand we have a brand new $60 game. And you go, no, video games are free now. I can literally go download every single Super Nintendo game. I can download, even like, I can go back and get Xbox 360 games and honestly they're like five bucks and they're not trash. No, they're not. They're not. They're like marginally, you saw they just put out like the Last of Us and honestly, they're like $5, and they're not- But they're all trash. No, they're not.

They're like marginally- You saw they just put out the Last of Us remaster, and they're charging $60 for it, and it's the exact same as the PS3 game I get for $5. Yeah. Okay? Or games that are on Game Pass that I'm just getting for free. Yeah. Media is worthless from a monetary standpoint.

Old media is. No, new stuff. If there's a new game that's good, people will buy it. The value of a new product is the ability to participate in the social marketplace around it. So people get a video game at launch because they want to be part

of the discussion around that game. No. They're getting it because it's good. That's part of it. Yeah. But it's also something where... People get Suicide Squad. It sucked. And everyone getting it because it's good. That's part of it. Yeah. But it's also something where... People get Suicide Squad. It sucked.

And everyone knew it sucked. No, some people got it. Right, right, right. But it wasn't a big hit. I'm saying a big part of it is... Because, again, if you go... Well, you know, if it's your favorite series, sure, I get it. That's different.

But if you go, hey, there's just a new game and it's really fun. Yeah. You go, well, yeah, but there's a lot of fun games. I can just wait for it to be five dollars because it'll be five dollars in about a year or two years that's not you're not describing a normal person no people don't do that they're like this game i gotta get it it sounds good why do they gotta get it because i want to play it now i think that they're getting it because they want to participate in being a part of the new thing you go to see the new movie not because there's a million

great movies that you haven't seen that you can boot up at any time. You go to see the new movie because it's what's in the public consciousness and everyone's talking about it and you want to be part of that discussion. So you're saying people are going to see Dune instead of staying at home watching The Wizard of Oz because they want to be part of a discussion?

Well, if you haven't seen Wizard of Oz, why are you choosing? What is causing you to choose seeing Dune over Wizard of Oz because they want to be part of a discussion? Well, if you haven't seen Wizard of Oz, why are you choosing? What is causing you to choose seeing Dune over Wizard of Oz? It's got all kinds of crazy effects. What if you've never seen The Godfather? Why are you choosing Dune over The Godfather? Because I've got to watch it at fucking home

on my shitty TV and it looks all grainy and crappy and this guy's dead. Everybody in this movie is fucking dead. It has a horrible feeling. This is like theater. Going to a new movie is like theater. All these people are alive and vibrant. The special effects are great. The story is

modern. No matter what time period it is. I'm going to make the argument that we've reached the point at which the appeal used to be, yes, like, oh, the technology is different. You're going to get visuals out of this movie that you can't get anywhere else. Yes. It has things in it.

There's a little bit of that. We're reaching a point where that's, I think, not going to be true anymore. Because honestly, if you go look at Jurassic Park from 1996. It's like shit. No, it doesn't look like shit. It looks fine. It looks like dog shit. You're crazy.

The gallimimuses running across the field. They're running around looking. It's very unexciting. It's very unexciting. We're reaching a point at which the advancement of the technology and the big shiny new thing. I think a video game from now and a video game from 10 years ago, there's not as much of a drastic difference. It's not like PlayStation 2 versus NES. There's still PS2 games you go back and play and they feel not even dated. That's not how people judge games, though, by

something 10 years ago. That's not how normal people judge games. Oh, how much better is it than something that's 10 years old? People are buying remakes all the time of this shit because they just update the fucking graphics. Not always. Sometimes it's just like a graphical skin. You know, like they did the Diablo 2 update. It's still just Diablo 2. They just

made the graphics a little bit better. It's a lot. Okay. Well, I'm just saying you could still go back and get Diablo 2 basically for free from any fucking torrent site. You'd be playing it. No, you are not playing the same game. I'm just saying. Media has clearly been devalued. We no longer pay $50 for a movie, nor

would we. Distribution has been devalued. Media has not. I think you're splitting hairs at that point i think we're agreed i think no i think we're value of media then well the value of media without all the distribution and all the outside shit the values that enriches your life we enjoy stories we enjoy yeah fanciful tales and all the other shit sure Sure. But I'm just saying that I want to create an ecosystem where the media has value. It does.

Because we're competing in a marketplace where everything costs nothing. Media has value. It has value to the individual. Making it a magazine. I'm talking about financial value. Yes, yes, yes. Media has financial value. Mr. Beast's shit makes money.

Because it's good. Like what? You're talking about advertising value? Okay, sure. It has value to advertisers. Yeah, that's all that matters. Okay, so yeah. People buying shit.

What's the last big game that was great? Starfield, the pronouns game? Yeah. People love playing it. All right? They're not playing it to be part of the society. 100 hours in that fucking game. Yeah.

Shit has value. This show makes money on... From advertising. That is... No, it makes money directly from people. Sure.

This show makes money directly from people because it has values. Yeah. The distribution part of it has no value. Okay. And that doesn't make...

What is it? YouTube takes 30%. Patreon takes 15%. Yes. That's how much value it has. Making it And that doesn't make... What is it? YouTube takes 30%. Patreon takes 15%. Yes. That's how much value it has. Making it a magazine, doing this show, putting it on a fucking tape,

cassette tape, mailing it out, that doesn't add value. Only through marketing does that add value. I think just because it's a podcast, it doesn't make sense.

But if we were a band and we said, hey, we got a... A vinyl? Yeah. Scam. A van doing a vinyl scam, like instead of just we got a... A vinyl? Yeah. Scam. A van doing a vinyl scam? Like, instead of just sending it, printing it on this shit?

Scam. I sound. It's I sound. It's lenticular covers. Yeah, lenticular covers is different. But an actual physical comic you can own has value, I think. At least to me. Only for...

Only because of the... It's up to the individual to decide. I think it has value. Yeah. And I don't think you can objectively say I'm wrong for thinking that a physical product that I can hold and I get enjoyment from... I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying this is everything that the Rippertards say.

Well, if the customer likes it, then it's fine. Okay, well, you're buying shit. Okay, but... You're buying dog shit then, bro. No, you're mixing things up. The issue with ISOM is not that it's physically printed. Because it's dog shit. That's a different argument. Yeah. Okay? It has nothing to do with the medium in which

it is delivered. It has everything to do with the content. Because it's worth zero. Okay? The content of the magazine will not be made better or worse by the fact that it is printed as a magazine. Right. So then why is it printed? Because people find value in it. People find value in the printer.

In the printing. I want to own magazines. I like magazines. You want to own a magazine printer. No, I want... I personally am a guy who enjoys magazines and would buy them and I think there are other people who believe the same.

And I should not stretch this out because it's going to fuck it up? Whatever. It's going to jump. Okay. Coup for two. How much time did we spend on that? Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you. Riley Edwards for five. Says, uh, weekly fun fact about dinosaurs. Some of them are 30 feet long

and don't know how to make comics. That's inappropriate. I can't read that. Doc Nick. Doc Nick for two. It is what it is. It is what? TBF it is.

Great guy Gabe for 279 Canadian. Vito, you landlocked manatee. I love you. Cypharon sucked us for 50 big dollars. Wow, thank you. Says Vito rejects the scale in the same way Shinji rejects getting in the robot. Get on the scale. Don't change the rules for Vito's booty.

That's the Vito's booty. And then he says either ARG or alternate reality game. Got it. Thank you. Jerg Jurgon for $100! Vito's booty butt should be gamified double or nothing. Oh, okay.

If he hasn't lost weight, the booty gets smashed. Oh. Higher Super Chats can undo this rule. Hmm. Higher Super Chats. So. Interesting. What, the Super Chats

changed the rules of the game? We haven't lost weight. I don't understand it. You didn't have, you didn't explain it enough. I think it's just that you smash it if I'm fat. So you smash it

every single time. Oh, no, I don't want to be, I don't want to put words in his mouth. Kyle Baxter for two at six o'clock, PTS Day. Hurry up, you TBF fairies.

Cypher and Suckdiss for five. Vito, just read this at $101. Say no rule change to Vito's booty. Okay. Oh, here's what I'm going to say. This is going to be the last show, I think, where we read $2 Super Chats.

What do you think? People have been saying that the Super Chats are going too long. Am I crazy? Well, because you go really slow when you're reading them. I guess I can just bang through them. Let us know in the comments what you think. Are the Super Chats going too long, or do you enjoy? I enjoy reading them. All this time could be spent reading Super Chats going too long, or do you enjoy... I enjoy reading them.

All this time could be spent reading Super Chats. You're right. Some of them are crazy. Turkey Sandwich for five. Ahoy, Captain Dickbeard. Tis I, the great Italian whale, and this be how I talk. Yo-ho, yo-ho. Within 500 feet of a school, I'm not allowed to go.

That's pretty funny. Did AI make that? Young Clipper for five. Based can and should be used to celebrate a statement that is anti-woman too. Hating women is very based. That's true. Based is just kind of any sort of bias or prejudice said confidently is based. Great Guy Gabe for $2.79.

New segment, Retardo of the Week. Perhaps. Young Clipper for 10. Vito, I beat you to streaming from a bed this week as a proof of concept. It was a hit. Now you can do it too. I've streamed from a bed twice already. I saw that. That was funny. The way he was doing it too. Oh yeah? Did it look good?

He was just laying down, being an asshole. He looked so comfortable. I haven't set up. I just haven't done it with a camera yet. Temp Anon. I'm talking about Riley. Yeah, I know. But he's saying he beat me to it. I've streamed from a bed. I have it all set up. I just haven't been using it. Temp Anon for 5. I've had a lot of blank shots myself, Vito. I think being mid from a bed. I have it all set up. I just haven't been using it. Yeah. Tampon on for five. I've had a lot of blank shots myself, Vito. I think being

mid-thirties and five times a day is catching up. Big load pills sound good. Never too much. Well, we're working on getting some sponsors. Maybe we'll get the load pills in there. Sure. Disciple of Dagon for 20 Australian. Been listening to the TDS bonus episodes. The nostalgia was downright depressing.

The revolving door of co-hosts, Sean's eternal beauty, life coach, Asterios being eerily similar to Vito, etc. I don't miss Dustin, though. You remember that first time I was like, hey, you want to go out and get lunch?

Me? Yeah, you remember that? No. We got sandwiches at that shitty little deli in where is that fucking place? In Eagle Rock? Not Eagle Rock. Was it Oinkster? No, in Elmont. Habitat?

It was like in the back of a shop. It was like a little shitty deli you may just go to, and it sucked. And you said it sucked, and I was like, yeah, it's fine. Where was that? I don't remember. Fucking Highland Park. It's in Highland Park. There was a sandwich shop in the back of a, you go around back, and then you go in and they have sandwiches.

I got the back part. I don't... It's not helping. And that was me leaning on you to be like, hey, how do I get in on some of this money? And then it eventually worked, which is great. Yeah, what do you mean? What's the... Why is this apropos of what?

Well, I'm just... It was just... Of that guy's thing? I don't know. It was interesting that he's like... Super chat? Yeah, well, I remember you at it was just. Of that guy's thing? I don't know. It was interesting that he's like. Yeah, well, I remember you at the time were talking about looking for a co-host. Oh, for my show? In the back of my head.

I was like, oh, maybe I can get in with this dick guy and get some of that money. Oh, you really need a magazine. Maybe I can slowly worm my way into his life and then sabotage it with one stupid tweet on Twitter and he's going to fight about it. Nah, I don't care about that shit. Good. stupid tweet on Twitter and he's gonna fight about it. Nah, I don't care about that shit. I mean, it's like, honestly, it's pathetic that the people who are pretending to make hay out of that pedophile shit, that wee shit, because they know

it's a joke. All of them know. Everybody, everybody knows it's a joke. Or they've said worse. They have said, a lot of them have said like similar crazy shit. They all know it. They're all pretending and I've never given a fuck since day one because I fucking know they're pretending.

I think it's gotten to a fever pitch where the things they're saying about me are so ridiculous that I have people going, hey, I heard all these bad things about you and then I looked into it and I'm like, oh, these guys are insane and they just hate Vito for insane reasons.

So at a certain point, guys, you go over the top and then you actually kind of start giving me victimhood currency so please keep doing that it's very helpful James Gardner for 20 says this is for Vito's sleepy wad problem pills based thank you Deep Striker for 5 if that Meek Mill thing is true that story Professor Griff about

said about him getting blackballed out of hip hop cause he wouldn't let Will Smith fuck him. Wow. Professor Griff said that he got blackballed. Is there something in here? I don't know. But I'm about to get roofied perhaps. That's a little bit strange.

Well, maybe they were just trying to save you a little time. They? Do you want me to use female pronouns? Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't drink it, don't drink it, don't drink it! Where's your fucking button? Oh, yeah. This one?

Oh, no, no, no, no! It's gone! I don't have it. I was going to let you do your famous Popeye bit. I didn't open it. It's only when it's open. Pineapple Man for two. Shout out to Becca Schmidt. Johnny Rocker for five.

P. Diddy is basically Darren from ISOM. I agree. Cycle of Dagon for two. Australian. Block Lofty. Good job, Crimsel. JJ for five. You know what job doesn't require waking up or showing up to an office?

An artist. Even Crimsel can do it. Just pick up a pencil. Just draw, man. And draw. LJ Claberino for two. Hey, Dick, how's the head and arm? Bad. Jason Coward for ten.

What's up, bitches? Good. Thank you for bleeping that. Disciple of Dekan for five. Australian. Can we just get an episode of Just Kia? I mean, Mr. Peacock. I don't know. He's expensive. Aklovich for two. Only the global financial apparatus wins at judo. Yolanda Finkelich for two. Only the global financial apparatus wins at judo.

Yolanda Finkelstein for two. Based on what? Disciple of Dagon. Racism. For five Australian. If I was to send in a 4XL Tifa's outfit for Vito's booty, would Vito have to wear it asking for a friend named Koof? No, he would be severely penalized for wearing it.

I want to wear it. Brits man for two. Boneless or boner in chicken? You want the bones. Michael Winning. Don't send in that outfit. No. Here's a good one.

Hey, Vito, that card I sent in last week was fake. You lose from Michael Winning. Send it in to get graded. I'm not going to send it in to get graded. They'll just send it back. It'll be a waste of money. $20. I know it's fake. So burn it.

Okay. Okay. I'll bring it in the next show and burn it. Okay. Then it's settled. We're going to burn it because it's fake. I mean, honestly, I can't find my little microscope, so I don't even know if it's fake. Maybe it's buried under a pile of trash. It's definitely buried under a pile of trash.

But, I mean, I think when the guy who sent it in says twice to me that it's fake, I'm going to assume it's fake. So I never went on this show. Well, let's burn it then. Silly Goose for two says, no Fumar. Cypherson Suck Dust for five says, Ice Cube, that kiosk is cool. I would never buy one, but I think it's cool. Wow, look at that. People like it. That's how you know it's cool, because kiosk is cool. I would never buy one, but I think it's cool. Wow, look at that. People

like it. That's how you know it's cool, because they wouldn't do it. I think if you had room in your house. A lot of people are very jealous of my new kiosks. They're like, wow, I wish I had one of those. Luckily, I didn't buy the PS3 kiosk I saw on Craigslist. That was like a grand. Stop searching for shit on Craigslist.

Now, if I could get a Dreamcast kiosk, that would be pretty, pretty good. JJ for five. The only problem with that stinger is it wasn't long enough. I agree. LJ Claberino for five. Captain Dickbeard and Pegleg Diavito walk the planks to Gravy Jones Locker. Get pissed on by R. Kelly. This show has me hooked like a sea cow.

Dumb username for two Australian. EVS finally noticed your cyber frog toy. Oh, finally. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, we unboxed them all on the show, and I guess Ethan missed that episode. I'm worried that he's like. Yeah, so I'm worried that he thinks that he sent me all these toys and I never did anything with them. This one, too.

He sent this one. Yeah, so guys, please tell Ethan that we did a whole unboxing of all his cool toys. We didn't just throw them in a corner. Tell him he threw it right in the fucking trash. Tell EBS that Vito threw all the toys in the trash. No, no, no, because he sent me a bunch of them. Because I assumed he would see the episode with it, but I guess he didn't. So now he just thinks that he sent me a bunch of toys and an ungrateful fucker just threw them away or something.

You did say that they were like basically trash toys. No that's not what I said at all. I said that he had some. You said they were extras and that they got dinged. That's why he sent them to us. That's good. That means that he if he has. Why would that be good to bring up like dinging when

we're looking at his toys? I'm explaining why it's good because that means that Ethan is so committed to quality that this is something he would not send you if you ordered it from him. That's like saying they're pedo-free. No. You don't even want to be thinking about pedophiles or dinged toys. I'm saying that he has, you know, sometimes. Look, any fucking business, you have a box that falls off the truck and it gets dinged.

And you have pedophiles at your business. There's many pedophiles. We're in a pizza hut. I'm saying. They're not running that in their fucking commercial. He is such a professional that rather than send those toys to someone who, you know, paid good money to them, this is for us because we're going to actually take them out and play with them. Look at this bitch.

So we don't need the packaging to be in great condition. They got a big ass on this one. She does have a big ass. She's got different heads. Heather Swain from the Cyber Frog series. You're supposed to be able to pull the head off, right? Yeah, you can switch out the head. There you go.

Decapitate a woman. Perfect. No. This is how I'm keeping it. I'm going to put these. I'm going to get some yarn and put her fucking heads around my neck. Don't do that. That's his beloved character.

I'm going to get some Sculpey and make these tits a little bigger. They can always be bigger of course. So yeah, good. Ethan, we do enjoy the Cyberfrog toys and I have some of my I took some with me

so I have my own. Random Guy 2324 for five Canadian Honour thy dick Masterson and Vito that should be a commandment. Koo for five

Display the alphabet of manliness instead of the ten commandments or the pledge of allegiance that's sure to set up the future generation for success. Yeah. Jad Dragon for five, display the alphabet of manliness instead of the Ten Commandments or the Pledge of Allegiance. That's sure to set up the future generation for success. Yeah. Jad Dragon for five, Australian.

Matthew, five. What is this? This head has a... Let me see. Well, it's got a smile on it. Is it a trans woman? No. This is just a happy lady. Yeah, what is...

What happens in this universe that women are happy? She's happy. Where do I put this? Oh, there we go. Yeah, look, she's a happy are happy That she's happy Oh there we go She's a happy little friend I've never seen that look on a woman before That 100% pedo thing's been on the whole fucking time Yeah it's cool Getting rid of that

Getting rid of the stupid thing What are you doing? Now people are going to think I'm a pedophile Alright I'll put it back Jadragon Matthew 5 I say to you Don't take an oath at all either by heaven or earth doing? Now people are going to think I'm a pedophile. Alright, I'll put it back. Jadragon, Matthew 5, I say to you, don't take an oath at all either by heaven or earth. Let what you say be simply yes or no. Anything more comes from evil.

Put that in the classroom. I'm sure every elementary school student's going to wrap their heads around that one. Sarah P for 5 says nothing. Thank you. Stratergery for 10. Big dollars. Hey, Vito and Dick, did you know about the biggest problem Patreon Several patron tiers are available now Yet another ad I steal from you

The power is mine, trucks me Yeah, well Amazing Definitely check out our Patreon Yes Randomguy2324 For five Superkiller presents

Nothing because it's not out Well maybe it could be Dick Masterson presents. How's that? Look at this. She's jacking Trump off. What do you think about that? That's cool. That's an honor.

I wish I could jack Trump off. I wish I could jack Trump off. That's just, that's, okay. I can't even wrap my head around that at all. That's very good. You're doing good. Have the sway. You're doing great.

Have the sway. Not the best hand job I've ever had, but it is one I've had. Right? That is a bigly hand job right there. You Trump people. Strategery for two. Seriously, that attracts me. We will. Anti-cleric for 20 Canadian video. I'm almost

four years late on delivering my Kickstarter. I did an update today and my fans were super understanding and kind. You're gonna be okay, man. Thanks for not killing yourselves. Hey, look, he's giving me an out. You guys are like... You're just like so fucking... It's like a self-help group.

You don't need to be praised for fucking up all day. You're not good at running creatives. Just take it. Get better. I'm getting better. I hear it. Just take it. Get better. I'm getting better. I hear it. I take it. I'm just so excited and I want to thank the

fans for all their support. You know, you guys made this happen. So the more you stick by me, it's like you're sticking by yourself. Think about that. Wrap your hands around that. Terry Hexacles for $5. Not sure how much that guy's cradle is worth since it's got to be.

Yeah. You want fair grading? I got it. They are better to be worth $1,000. We have enough guy's cradles now, guys. You don't have any. I don't have any. I thought I had one, but I don't.

Booty man. Look at this. It's like a beer topper. What do you think about this? Very cool. It's like I'm eating her pussy out. You see that? Why are you the way you are? Is that cool? What? I do. Can you just like...

That's Ethan's character Show a little respect You're eating out Heather Swain's pussy That's Cyberfrog's lady That's awesome Probably I guess they don't really fuck I don't know who she is

Do they fuck or not? No But she had a husband But the husband's dead now That's my time to shine Yeah Remember that guy? I'm just like him

Did you see how Somebody said Matt Barr That's my time to shine. Yeah. Remember that guy? I'm just like him. Did you see how somebody said Matt Barr? When Matt Barr was like shitting on Riley and Mint. Yeah. Because they do pornography. He says they make incest pornography. I hate that. The brother and sister. He's trying to get her band.

Oh, do you get banned if you do incest on OnlyFans? Yeah, and he knows it. They're not incest. Riley is not related to Riley. It's fucked that he's doing that. It's fucked that, as somebody put it, they're like, he's like, I just want to get the degeneracy out of a comic state. I was going to talk about that, but when you brought up the incest thing, it's very fucked that he's doing that. Because he's trying to hurt their money.

Yeah. With lying. Right. It's very fucked up. We have a lot of people who think it's okay to lie, who ruin people's businesses. Yeah. I mean, only we're allowed to do that, and only about black people.

I don't lie. I know. It's a joke. I will say, as somebody said to Matt Barr. She does have decent tits. She's got pretty good tits. She's got great tits. She's pretty good.

Yeah. I was going to say, as somebody said to Matt Barr. She does have decent tits. She's got pretty good tits. She's got great tits. I was going to say, as somebody said to Matt Barr, so is your idea of helping Comic Skate making it so that nobody who consumes pornography buys their comic books? Someone else tweeted that. You're stealing that joke that someone else made. I just said that. I said someone said it to Matt Barr. This is not a stolen value

situation. Look, guys, if you're in Comic Sk skater, if you're just making any sort of comic book, please stop putting lines in the sand about like, well, I just don't want any degenerate who looks at naked women to buy my comic books. That's a really bad line to set. A lot of people like looking

at naked women. Same thing with my comic book. They're going, I can't believe people would buy Vito's comic, which has this cover that features a grown woman, you know, being attacked by a tentacle monster, but it's like snaking up her skirt. And I'm like, well, I didn't realize Comic Skate was anti-sexy adult women with, you know, titties hanging out. But if that's what Comic Skate is, I don't think that's what Comic Skate is, but that's

what these guys are trying to say it is. They're saying my comic is degenerate because it has a sexy lady. Look, look, look, I gotta go. Hey, fucking fuck you. Hasta fazool, dude. Fucking. Look at all the fun you can have with your cyber frog figures, guys. Actually, that does look pretty good, actually. Yeah, it's cool. That's a cool pose.

Alright, booty man for five. You know the reason you're shooting weak loads? It's probably low testosterone. No, normally my loads are great. Cypher son sucked is for five. I'm sad Noel turned out to be a shitbag. Please make fun of him. He isn't going to turn. How much was that? Five bucks. Five bucks? Not

enough. It's got to be 20 to listen to the Noel tape. It's got to be 20. Did he lose his lawsuit against that crazy guy? Russell Greeter? Yeah. No, I think it's still being tried. Oh, okay. So now, yeah. The way they were talking about it made it sound like they'd lost.

Oh, he lost? Oh, shit. I don't know. But then I tried to find him losing. Man, this is like Spawn quality shit. Oh, fuck. Yeah, dude. Remember those Spawn action figures in the 90s? Yeah, they're awesome. Yeah. That was the coolest thing Todd Mc... Todd McRonlin was like, making comics sucks. Making action figures is infinitely cooler.

Now he just makes action figures and keeps pretending he's going to direct a Spawn movie, which is never going to happen. Jacob Buckingham for five pounds. Middlemen are the scourge of business, and the parallel economy is nothing but that. Nothing but middlemen. Yeah, pretty much. Coup for five. Speed limits only function as a revenue source for the government.

If it was really about safety, the Department of Transportation would mandate governors in all cars. True. Aklovich for two. How much to send Vito to Neverland Ranch as a bit? Coup for two. Kids are why we can't have booby traps. Good problem. Yeah, I agree.

James Gardner for five. The biggest problem, treehouse. 100% pedo free. You can see it on the screen. Jet Dragon for two. Vito working out, at least trying to make it believable. G Money Pants. Shut up.

For nine, for two, says nothing. I did 70 hours of cardio yesterday. Shut up. Coup for five. Vito, just buy some shit land in Nevada near LA and build a tiny house. It's all anybody can afford anyway. Yeah, but then I got to drive four hours to do the podcast. Embrace it, man. You voted for this shit. Embrace it.

We're gonna do a remote podcast. I'm not gonna be in studio anymore. That's the end of the show. I don't care. Sad thing is it's true There we go What are you gonna do? Show's over

Your life in Vegas isn't gonna be any better than it is here I would have a house that I could afford No you don't I would buy one They're not that different They really are You can buy a house here Like a one bedroom

It would be the same size as my shitty apartment. I need space. I want space. And not just for trash. Not just for trash. No. No. I want to have room to film and have a green screen and all this other shit.

For all your big Hollywood magazines. I'm going to burn your house to the ground. And then you can find a house too. I don't care. Good. Dumb username for five. Biggest problem is watching Saturday Night Fever thinking it's going to burn your house to the ground. And then you can find a house too. I don't care. Good. Dumb username for five. Biggest problem is watching Saturday Night Fever thinking it's going to be like Greece. Then a woman's raped and John Krivolta calls her a cunt.

You didn't like that part? That was the best part. Yeah, that's the best part. Women get insulted. Silly goose for five. Move to Utah. Then get Maddox's mom on the show. Not a bad idea.

Yeah, she's still alive. Her husband's dead. So you move right in there. There you go. Somebody get on plenty of fish, huh? I got to sell a movie. Then I can get a house. Vash Stampede.

You got to write a movie. I got to write a movie. I've written a movie. You got to write a good movie. I've written a good movie. I got a great one. Got one in the pocket. Vash Stampede for five.

Vito, if your leg shakes after working out, it means you need to work out more. Truth. Coup for two. Vito, I will be at Hackam out, it means you need to work out more. Truth. Coup for two. Vito, I will be at Hackamania with more stickies. Well, don't call them stickies, I'm going to say. Stickies. That sounds like you are going to come on things. Come on.

I kind of want to go to Hackamania, Dick. We should think about going. We don't have to go as a group to Hackamania. It would be fun. We could road trip. We could do a little car drive. No, no, no, no, no, no. Could rent a party house.

I wonder if the boys are going to have a party house. I guess they probably will, huh? Probably, yeah. We could hang out at Carl's party house. Go for it. You know what? Well, yeah, because you just want me to go so you can go to their house. Go for it. You know what? Well, yeah, because you just want me to go so you can go to their house. I could go. I could go

hang out with Carl. Carl would let me hang out with him. Okay. You know, and I'm friends with I actually don't know who's going to be there. Coup for two. Buy more toys. Screw the couch. It's a shitty couch anyway. I found it on the street.

It's going back on the street. G Money Pants, $19.42 for five. Two new boys, Bitcoin to the moon. Waifus for the win. Yeah. Goldilocks for 10. Biggest problem is kidney stones. I'm currently dealing with it, and the doctor didn't tell me if it was going to be small

enough to pass, so I might be going to the ER later. Love you guys. I knew a guy who had chronic kidney stones, and he told me it was like pure torture. And a very rare form of kidney stone that would wear down over time and become as sharp as a fucking razor blade. And then he would pee it out. Through his dick. Imagine peeing a razor blade out through your dick. Nah.

A tiny razor blade. I don't want to. Yeah, I don't want to either. He had to drink cranberry juice all the time To erode his kidney stones I bet he never stopped talking about it That's why I drink cranberry juice of course For your health? So I don't get those kidney stones

Pure mixer Disciple of Dagon for two Vito you forgot mother's milk last week Oh shit you're right He just gave away the bit What bit? Disciple of Dagon, you are the most worthless piece of shit. You are the most worthless fucking fan.

I hope that everyone in your fucking family. Thanks, man. Thanks for reminding me. You are fucking worthless, Disciple of Dagon. I forgot to take it with me. You are fucking worthless, Disciple of Dagon. I forgot to take it with me. You are fucking worthless. I can't believe. You are such a worthless cocksucker.

Fuck you. I hope you get fucking AIDS. That's like that fan. I will tell you, Disciple of Dagon, I can't because we're on YouTube. I'm going to go on my show on Rumble and have two hours of what I hope of what I wish upon you.

You ever watch a baseball game and the fan reaches over to grab the baseball and then it's a home run for the other team? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, look at me! You worthless piece of shit. You fucking piece of garbage. You eager.

You want to be involved so bad that you blow the fucking joke. You fucking bastard. Because I'm looking around. You're fucking worthless, man. I don't see that mother's milk anywhere, so I don't know where it could possibly be. You are fucking worthless. I probably Worthless Wow Dagon thanks man

Just a total piece of shit That's awesome Good job Thanks Good job Dagon That was good I mean Good fucking job dude

I was I'll tell you this I was gonna let you smash it this week So it wouldn't It wouldn't have been that funny anyway Good. I mean. Good fucking job, dude. I'll tell you this. I was going to let you smash it this week, so it wouldn't have been that funny anyway. Here. There's the bit. Smash it. Why? What's in it this week?

Hold on. Hold on. I thought you weren't going to read the $2 Super Chats anymore. Well, I read that one. Pigeon for five says five. Dara. Don't just smash it constantly. I don't fucking know. Either make a decision or don't.

It's hard to get through this box. It's going to... You can't smash... What am I doing? I'm smashing the box? What a fucking idiot. God. Some fans, man.

Most of them are great, but every once in a while, one out of a hundred is just a totally worthless piece of shit. And now I will remember to take this with me, thanks to the fans. What a great- You're going to let me smash it? Yeah, you can smash it. No, I mean, you were going to say smash it. Yeah, I was going to say smash it. I was going to say, why don't you smash it this way? Yeah, I think you've got

enough good things. I've got one good thing that I get! I got one good thing! The only good thing I got was the Final Fantasy button. I shouldn't have given that to you. And I got a fake Gaia's Cradle! And now I have a second Mother's Milk. Oh, man. I hope everybody

I bet everybody in the chat right now is ripping that motherfucker apart. You are so fucking stupid You are like the most Hated fan Everyone in your life Hates you Cause you don't know What's going on

Cause you don't understand What's going on You want attention so bad That you just see something And say it This is exactly That situation You are so fucking worthless

The fan who catches The baseball And he's the most Hated Cubs fan In existence And everyone hopes That he gets hit by a drunk driver on the way home from a game. Wow. So everybody, I want to... And then he goes to hell.

I want to remind you guys that this is Disciple of Dagon, who is now... But they can't even feel anything, people this stupid. They can't even feel it. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what you say. They can't ever feel any shame or anything. It wouldn't have been that good. You would have opened the box. It would have been mother's milk.

I would have actually got, honestly, he denied me a win because I would have said smash it and then you would have felt stupid. What a fucking moron. Way to go, bud. I mean, now we get. Way to go. At least all the drama is taking out of it this week. Way to go, Dagon. That's fun. Good for you. Pigeon for five. Good for you. Good noticing. Good job.

Let's print out your fucking $2 super chat and put it on the fridge. Because you're so fucking special that you noticed it before anybody. I would have. I saw that pop up during the show. And I thought, you fucking idiot. There's no way to get him to skip the Super Chat. Fuck.

And I started thinking, maybe I can trick him to go to the bathroom. Yeah, well, you could have said, hey, you should have had food, you know. Vito, the pizza's here. Can you go grab the pizza? I'll read the super chats. Will you do it? Anyway, thank you for saving me this week. Disciple Dagon, he's my favorite.

Okay, dumb username for two. AIR is one step closer to working holodeck. Dean Shock for five. Thanks for the laughs. Dumb username for two. review David Lynch's Dune. I would like to do that. Outthink Vegas for two, you must. He's doing a TBF.

Coup for two, Vito, hug, I'm a writer. Yeah, he thinks he is. I hate you. Just Eyebon for five, Vito. You know who doesn't have to have arguments about if they're a writer or not? Writers. Writers, yeah. I've written a lot of stuff. You know, doesn't have to have arguments about if they're a writer or not? Writers. Writers, yeah. I've written a lot of stuff.

You know, like Instagram models? I'm a model. You're not a fucking model. You've never read. You've read my script. That's it. You don't know other stuff. Just Ivan from Vito, congrats on writing a comic.

What is that, like 500 words? Professional author. Jad Dragon for two. Grifter Gavin owes the Aussie Proud Boys thousands of dollars. Yeah, Gavin. Master Constance for five. Dick would walk up to Spielberg and be like, direct something right now. If you think you're good, direct something right.

He would do it. Now. Oh, yeah. That's true. Seifertson sucked us for ten. Dick used to do write-ups for his podcast until he learned no one read them. I didn't read them until he said he stopped. They were good. I realize also I wouldn't read them even knowing it's

good. Amazing. Nobody reads. Dominic for 5. Hey, Kaiju, just got your letter and it's a fucking amazing drawing. Love the fruit snack box too. Thanks for the snack. You guys can DM these things to each other. Koo for 2. One mag would be cool, but mags are dead. Good luck. Silly Goose for 2. Vito, the parallel

creator. Working in parallel. Oh, yeah. Good luck. Silly goose for two. Vito, the parallel creator. Working in parallel. Oh, yeah. My parallel. Parallel creator. Vito, did you notice that mother's milk is missing? I wonder where it went. What a fucking idiot. Where is that at? Way past.

Nobody's super chatting. Where would that go? I'm getting there. That conversation about magazines is so boring. Oh, my God. Coup for five. I know everybody right now is thinking, I would like a magazine from Vito. Nobody. Ralph.

Said nobody. Coup for five. Thank you, Ripperverse Gold Post, for not killing yourself. Hope you enjoy the show. Ripperverse Gold Post in the chat getting his clips. Camel toe for ten. Vito becomes more like Maddox every episode. You look like you have thicker skin.

I guess it's just blubber, Vito. Maybe that's why this podcast isn't as successful as the Dick Show. What did I do wrong this fucking episode? What do you mean isn't as successful as my show? Yeah, I don't... What? How is that a slam? I don't know. I mean, I guess, look, we're building

the show still. Dick had six years to make all that money. Cypress andon sucked dicks for 11. I think this show keeps growing and gets better every week. Yeah.

Unless people fuck up your famous pirate bit. Cypherson for 11. Campbelltoe sucks mad cock. Potawfel got yeeted for five. Vito, you have to weigh in. You having to weigh in

has altered your state of existence. You're like Schrodinger's fatso. Hugh Jazz for five. Going to Japan in a few days. What type of hentai do you want me to bring

back for you? Underage. Vito, no, not that. On the John for 10. See, I can make Fatso Huge ass for five Coming to Japan in a few days What type of hentai Do you want me to bring back For you Underage Vito No not that On the John for ten See I can make those jokes though You can

Yeah Nobody cares Give me some Who's your favorite Like Anime video game character If you had to see him naked Baby Herman

I want to fuck Baby Herman Okay I was going to say Chun-Li I like her big tits And her thick thighs. On the John for 10, Vito is right about the community event aspect of a new release of media, and I like the idea of a magazine, but the only people I know buying zines are hipsters and they suck.

Hipsters are all dead, man. They're all like 50. Leo for two says, readings $2 Super Chats is gay. Clip Samba for two says, magazines are dumb. I don't like to read. Coop for two says, if EVS can read $2 Super Chats, so can you guys. There you go. Euthanasia Enthusiast for seven.

Canadian Great Showfell is probably the best one so far. Don't know how you do it. Truly impressive. Thought that was a trick. Connor Brinson, I also did, for two pounds. Vito, take a note from Tubi. Yeah, okay. Jorby Jimson for 20.

Regarding the magazine idea, I agree about veto with the market for physical media. But if you want the idea to last, articles should be online. You should build an online audience and then do print runs for whoever wants it. So it's a scam. I'm not talking about this anymore. Let's sell an LP of this episode. You're not a part of it, so don't worry about it. Guess what?

I'm still going to criticize it. I hope so. I know you get great joy out of destroying everything I love. Yeah, not just you. Here, take your mother's... No, you can't have it, actually. Jerk Jerkinson for 20. For the double or nothing, vetoes booty, but if he hasn't lost weight or chooses not to weight in, the

booty is destroyed. If he gets on the scale and has lost weight, he gets on the plastic... Okay, everyone's got an idea. What was that guy's name? Dagren? Jerk Jerkin? No, not that guy. The bad guy. Dagson. Mr. fucking dummy grabbing balls over the fence because he's so excited to be there. He's part of the game.

He wants a souvenir. Can you refund his super chat? We can. Yeah. We can go in and do that, I think. Can you do it like this, though? Like, throw it? Not just a refund.

Just like a, uh, get rid of this. I mean, I'm pretty happy about it. You're the one who's upset about it. I think it's great. Yeah, it fucks me. I think all you guys should tell me what's in the box ahead of time. That's funny for me. Michael, winning for two.

This is gone, Vito. Destroy that card for me. Still have to check that you didn't accidentally actually hide something in there. But no, you weren't that clever. Aklovich for two. Vito, how much to make you wear the hijab? I can't believe you put mother's milk in there again. And you really thought it was going to work.

It would have. No, it wouldn't have. I would have figured it out. Obviously, it would have because you were shocked when he reminded you that you left it here. I'm denied my valor. I think I would have destroyed it no matter what. Or would I have? Who knows? Akhlovich for two. Vito, how much to make you wear the hijab?

Stray beans for three. Yup, kids are the immobile ones in malls, not Vito how much Make you wear the hijab Stray beans for three Yup kids are the Immobile ones in malls Not Vito I was thinking that Okay Get out of the way You little kids

I'm just I always have such a problem With little kids When I'm trying to Get through places They're not paying attention But they're always moving No no no no no

Like I'll be like Oh I gotta go down this aisle And there's like A kid and his mom And they're like Taking up the whole aisle And neither of them are paying attention. I don't know. And when they're on a rascal scooter, just sitting there crying about something they can't reach.

Yes. Yeah, okay. LJ Claborino for 10. Vito, damn it, it's not LJ Claborino. I don't care how your name's pronounced. The Deep Street. Thank you. No.

It's pronounced Coborino. Coborino. Did you like the shirt I sent you? Yes, I did get the shirt you sent me. I do a Vito's Mailbox segment on my own channel, so that will be included when I make another one of those. Showing all the things people

sent me that weren't part of an elaborate bit to shame me for being fat. So if you would like to send me normal items, for instance, there's a fan who wanted to send me a Game Boy and make sure it wasn't smashed by the evil Dick Masterson, you do have that option. You don't just have to send Dick things for his ridiculous pirate nonsense. If you want to be a daggone, send it right away to me.

What do you got? You got a letter there? Yeah. Dear Dick, huge fan of your content and have read Men Are Better Than Women over five times. The biggest problem in the universe and the Dick Show are starters on my Monday workday. Currently, I am building a Biggest Problem in the Universe plaque for my home bar. It would be an honor if you could sign the note card I included and send it back in the envelope. Really appreciate it. Yeah, I got one of those as well.

Oh, you got one too? Yeah, he sent one to my house. This guy did? Yeah. Oh, I was going to have everyone sign it, but I guess if he sent it to everybody then. Well, who's everybody? Well, you. And me. And maybe Sean. I don't know. Okay.

Yeah. Uh, yeah, no, he sent me one, and I'm gonna sign... Actually, I have it somewhere. I forgot, so I'm glad you reminded me that he has a, uh... Yeah. He has a special board. I thought that was for you, too. To commemorate us. Alright. No! Hey, it's cool. You got it, too. That's great. Uh, and nobody else do that, because now everyone

wants to do it. To your house? No, it's fine. You can it, too. That's great. And nobody else do that because now everyone wants to do it. To your house? No, it's fine. You can send it. I'm just fucking around. If you honestly want my autograph and you send me a self-addressed stamped envelope, yeah, no problem. I can do that. I'll probably send you an enemy weapon card or something.

And a magazine. And a magazine. Fuck you. No, I love the fans. I'll do whatever you want. I can hear the jack-off sound. I want to make a magazine. You don't hear that?

You're incapable of seeing, like, honesty in anything, you know? It's an honest cash grab. It's not an honest cash grab. You just want the money. No, because there's not going to be. I don't even think it will make a lot of money. I think it's just. It's a way to say I'm creating art without creating art.

Like, it's a way to elevate bad writing to something that's being consumed in a magazine. First of all, it's not going to be bad writing that's retarded. And second of all, it's nice when you make something... Do you know that it's good? I'm... Is it written? It's going to be people who can write. That doesn't mean it's good. Well, I'll be editing it, so I'll know it's good.

I probably won't be too much of an editor. I'm too nice. I'll just stop. Like fantasy world. I don't want to do anything. You know what? I don't want to do anything. I mean, don't just...

It's not fantasy world. Don't do tricks to try to make art good. It's not a trick. Make good art. It's just like you can't even like try to entertain that it would be good. I'm aggressively... Against everything. Yes.

You'll destroy everything the second it's... You see a baby chick learning how to fly Just rip it's fucking wings off That'd be funny If you can get the wings yeah Then you end up with a strong chicken Big wings You end up with something good

Should destroy the week Can you just say like you see the value I don't see I see the marketing value. It's not a marketing value. It's good writing from good writers. And I wanted to include you because I thought you were a good writer, but apparently... It's not a compliment to me.

I do not... I'm not flattered by that, and it's not a compliment. Good. I'm glad. I don't care. You know what I would do if my girlfriend showed up with a magazine? Hey, I got a magazine. It's like, uh.

Yeah. Is that online? Yeah. Why is it in a magazine? What are you? You're just being contrarian. This is retarded. Oh, I'm being contrarian.

Send a YouTube link for that Professor Griff on X. Fantastic. Cypher and Suck just for two. He's playing it up. Mother's Milk is not in there. Yeah, I'm sure. Cool for two. See Vito's $2 super chats help you sometimes. Indeed they do. Guys, don's milk is not in there. Yeah, I'm sure. Coup for two. C-Vito's $2 super chats

help you sometimes. Indeed they do. Guys, don't forget to get in your memberships. Join the membership club. Dagon, kill yourself. Dagon, thanks for making the show great. On the John for five. Dagon, I tip my hat to you. Dick lost. Coup for two says you still weigh in for the

$50 super chats. What's the point? Yeah, no. No, the $50 is due to the bid. It's not to weigh in. It doesn't matter. He's not fucking weighing in. No, that's the fucking point, Dagon, you idiot. Which is awesome because I gained like a shit ton of weight at that fucking June thing. We can tell.

You look like it. Great. Well, you can speculate all you want. It's Dagon going on the shit list. Oh, no, you're signing your card. Well, guys, what a great show we've had here tonight. That's a very good signature. Is there anything else that we needed to talk about?

We didn't get enough Null Super Chats to talk about Null. Is that correct? Oh, yeah. Oh, good. I don't give a shit about Null. Well, we'll see. We'll probably come back to that. I wanted to thank all our Patreon subscribers.

I need to update this list. But all of you are officially 100% Don't move the pedophile thing. I was gonna make it bigger. I was gonna celebrate our 100% not pedophile fans. Good clicking. I can't see it's red on red. There you go. All you guys are part of the pedo-free

revolution. I want to thank all our members. If you guys have any cool ideas for emojis, please let me know because we still have room to add. Actually, the more people who sign up as members, the more emojis that we're allowed to add. Can we print the emojis out and ship them to people so they can? I just think it's fun.

They get to post a pirate dick emoji. $250? That's all we made today? No, $250 from the total memberships. Oh, okay. That's for memberships only. It doesn't show us the... Why not?

Until we end the show. We have to end the show and it'll tell us. Actually, does it tell us in the live streaming tab? It might tell us here. Does it? Yeah, I think it does, right? Here. I gotta zoom out.

You gotta zoom out. It should show us... If you scroll down... Actually, try viewer activity I don't fucking know usually when we end the show that's when it gives us a total oh there you go chat revenue right there 590 bucks

wow that's before YouTube takes their cut sadly 30% of that goes to Susan to help her get over The death of her son That's too much Because she fucked her own Because she wasn't

Being a good mom But that is happening And we love all of you Guys What else is going on Dick on Monday With Mr. Girl Come by my Tuesday night streams

Mr. Girl is going to be Writing in this magazine, I hear. He's got an amazing article coming out. Can we play the song that somebody sent us? We said we'd play the song. Just play it to end the show. It's too fucking late. Okay, whatever.

And build a giant pit in your yard for children to fall into. And thanks, Diagon. Hey, wait, where's mother's milk? Give me the mother's milk. Where'd you fucking put it? It's right there. I thought you were trying to sneak it back in the box. No, I didn't sneak anything.

You just leave it here. Because I don't think to take the stupid toy. Because you think it's just like a place where you can leave trash. Yeah, basically, because it is. The show is trash. Goodbye. Bye, my magazine. Is the magazine campaign going to come out before Superkiller?

I'm done with this. I'm just saying.