The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 133

Episode Date: March 23, 2024

Ay, ay, ay. Well, I'm having people watch it now and tell me. Do you want to watch it and tell me if there's any audio problems? No, no, no. I can't do that. Don't you like my other videos? I'm all gassed out on help. You watch stupid YouTube shit all the time.

It's not help. I do not. What do I watch all the time? Well, I thought you were sitting around watching. I barely even watch my friends. Putting on YouTube videos. No, I don't watch that shit. Yeah, I get it.

I'll watch yours when it's done. I failed. I failed to do the thing that I said I would do, which was to get it out before the new Ghostbusters movie came out. But luckily, I think I'm only going to be a couple days late. Hopefully, people are still talking about Ghostbusters. A couple days late. Yeah, every time.

Yeah. Pack it in. I can't. Pack it in. I can't. Pack it in. Pack it in. I got a lot going on. And editing. You got a lot that you're late on, though.

That's the issue. I do too much, I would say. Lowell Ngo says, welcome to tier one. No, that's him signing up for a membership. Yeah, I know. He didn't say it. I know. He didn't say it. I know. I made the membership icon like a little crown.

You got to crank up these memberships, man. What do you mean? I'm going to transition over. You got to make them more expensive. How much are the memberships now? I think it's $3 for the basic. $3? That's nothing.

It's going to be $4 next week, so buy your memberships today before we jack off the basic. Three bucks? That's nothing. It's going to be four next week, so buy your memberships today before we jack off the prices. We jack off the prices. Right in your face. The thing is that, you know, we're not doing that much with the memberships. Most people we want to... Whoa! This is a Mac membership, man!

You get all the benefits of the Mac Club for a fraction of the price. For three bucks, you get all the benefits and more of Eric Jalai's Mac Club for $100. That's true. We give you 100% off iSOM. No, I'll tell you what. You don't even have to buy it. If you sign up for our Mac Club, I will also give you 10% off Eric Jalai's merchandise. That's coming out of your pocket, jackass. I'll give it to you for free. You're going to be in PDF form. If you want to sign up to be a $50 a month Mac and you want 10% off every time you buy an AlphaCore t-shirt,

I could send you a couple pucks, I guess. You're losing money. I'm not losing money if he gives me $50 and I give him back $2 for that stupid t-shirt he bought. It's like when you take pizza and pizza takes competitors coupons, you know? They used to do that. That's a pizza hut though. You're a veto hut. I am a veto hut.

You don't have that kind of cash. Maybe you really don't know business. Hold on. I'm taking the cash from the membership and using it to fund whatever. And then what are you giving them? Just blank pages. Just blank pages. With a fake cover, right?

Yep. That's my plan? Draw big. Put a little wiener in there. I'm not putting a little wiener. Put a little wiener in what? Take one of Yellow Flash's little child wieners that are in his favorite manga. I was very shocked. Pedo Flash.

He runs so fast so he can evade the authorities. How is that guy lecturing anyone about morality and being like, I can't believe anybody would look at this Inuyasha pornography. By the way, buy my friend's comic. What's it about? 14-year-olds who fuck each other. Wait, what? What do you mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really hate all this degeneracy and whatever else. Off screen? No, no. The entire comic is sex scenes of children Yeah What? Yellow Flash saying it's so

Dude he had to throw that guy under the bus because of us You're proud of that guy You're friends with that guy though right? No no I delete all the videos I haven't hung out with that guy in years Yellow Flash streamed with a guy for three years And that umbrella guy Tug

Yeah The guy who pretends to be a therapist Right And they all complain He pretends to be a therapist. Right. And they all complain- He pretends to be a child therapist so he can pretend to be the expert on abusing children. And he's neither. And they all hung out with a guy who drew genuine comics of kids having sex with-

Child pornography. I mean, in a way- It is drawn child pornography. It's infinitely worse than the shit they're complaining about. It's infinitely worse than the people who go to me and they go, Vito, I can't believe you put your character in a sailor uniform. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah, you're a pedophile.

Oh, yeah? I'm going to come fuck your kids. What a pedophile. What are you guys streaming about today? Just my favorite child porn manga where a guy goes back and... You know what my favorite part of the Yellow Flash Defenders is? What? Is their explanation for why

it's okay for yellow flash to call you a pedophile and also his favorite manga or hentai is of little kids getting fucked is that the kids in the story deserve it right because it's revenge and i'm like no no no it's okay because it's not real It's not okay because they deserve it in the story. They don't understand that 14-year-old who's being raped is a really bad 14-year-old. And I'm like, it doesn't make sense. And they don't. If Back to the Future 4 was Marty McFly goes back in time and rapes Biff Tannen as a 12-year-old, that would not be okay.

That would not be deserving it. But Biff's a bully. Not yet. You still can't rape him, though. I mean, was he a bully because of that? Oh, man. There's a lot. Yellow Flash.

Me oh my oh. I've just realized that it's like hypocrisy all the way down. It's just like if you hate a guy, anything you say about him is 100% legit. It's lolly all the way down. Yeah. You can do whatever you want, and your friends can draw little child pornography comics, and that's fine and cool. That's a big. That's a. Right. You can do whatever you want, and your friends can draw, like, little child pornography comics, and that's fine and cool. That's a big...

That's a... Right. That's an appendix. But then if, like, a lady... A little dicks. That's what he's drawing. That's what Yellow Flash is plugging. And then he goes, hey, Inuyasha...

And he's advertising it to kids. That's the same as fucking dogs, is looking at Inuyasha porn. That housewife, though, she's a dog fucker. Yeah. Bro, what are you looking at? What are you looking at? Yeah, if she's looking at that, and it's her dog fucker, then you looking you looking at what are you looking yeah if she's looking at that dog fucker that you looking at this what do you want us what you're the one making up these rules digibro didn't call anyone a pedophile you did right so by your rules digibro

doesn't say like hey if you look at these things you're this kind of thing so that's why digibro gets a pass okay but everyone gets a pass i don't care about any of it at So that's why Digibro gets a pass. Well, I mean, everyone gets a pass. Everyone gets a pass. I don't care about any of it at all. It's the hypocrisy of being like, I am a moral upstanding person. I can't believe this woman would look at Inuyasha porn. Hey, buy my friend's child sex comic.

Hold on. I'm confused. I'm confused. I'm taken back. First of all, no. Yeah, I don't want that. What would you rate it, Yellow Flash? 12 out of 10. 11 wasn't too... I was so excited

about the child sex. 11 wasn't high enough. Well, I feel like metaphorically 11 is like... means it's not good. It's very bizarre. How much did you read that child born? Infinity plus one. Oh, infinity was enough, buddy. It was one of these things where I even censored

I was like, this is what... You shouldn't have posted it. I shouldn't have posted it. I was like, I, Infinity was enough, buddy. It was one of these things where I even censored. I was like, you shouldn't have posted it. I shouldn't have posted it. I was like, I think I could get banned just for posting the censored version of it. Redo the, what is it? Redo the healer. Redo a voice getting raped. Is that what his comic is? I tried to read part of it to see what it was about.

I had no interest in it. Well, it's not good. Revenge for me is a man getting revenge on other men. Yeah. I don't need to see back in time murdering kids. like oh well it's like a really like interesting series you're like i don't care it's just shit and pornography but sure enjoy it go nuts just stop stop stop calling people everybody else pedophiles if that's what you like you're in no position mama stop calling women dog fuckers don't go on youtube and talk about it to a bunch of kids either.

That's a little odd. Dude, Yellow Flash's audience is like a bunch of kids. Yellow Flash has told a bunch of kids to watch this. To watch redo of Healer. To watch and go buy his friend's Lollicon comics. That's a bit much, man. You can go like, hey, I have like an after hours 18 plus only stream and it's age restricted. His videos are not age restricted. It's got to be age restricted or else you're spreading. They're not 18 plus only stream and i it's age restricted his videos are not age restricted

it's got to be age restricted they're not 18 plus videos it's worse it's worse i mean counterintuitively it's worse spreading illustrated child porn to kids than regular pornography because you don't want you they're going to grow up someday and you don't want the child pornography in there you know you want the okay the movie thing about regular porn. At least you're still thinking about adults having sex now. That's just my opinion. I didn't know. I can't believe that he was allowed to have those videos not be, like, age-rated.

Basically telling kids, hey, there's this awesome anime about 14-year-olds getting raped and I want you all to go watch it. Oh! Me, Yellow Flash, who loves anime about 14-year-olds being brutally raped. Lolly porn with the boys, right, fellas? Let's crack open some brews and crack open some little boys underpants.

Am I right, fellas? Yeah. By the way, did you see what Vito joked about with his words on Twitter? What a fucking pedophile. Anyway, back to the little boys getting raped. I just accept the hypocrisy at this point. Are you ready to start the show? Yeah, let's do it.

Who cares? Wow. Yellow. Petto Flash. The king of the lollicons. The king of the lollicons. It's worse than Vosh. Oh, it's way worse.

Vosh at least was like, yeah, this is gross. Yellow Flash was like, best anime ever. Vosh was lying, though. Well, unless he's getting off to the gross ones. In the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the only show

that ranks, what the hell is the intro that ranks every problem in the universe? I don't fucking know. From annoying look at me's to a generation

who gets no pussy. Ooh! Terrible run. I'm your host, Tim Asherston. Joining me, always 100% pedo. 100% pedo free. Veto is here. I'm going to make that into a t-shirt.

We got to get the, just 100% with the thing. Maybe leave off the pedo free. Yeah, that's Matt Barr's logo, though. You're going to rip it off? Matt Barr will have a never-ending tantrum about it. Matt Barr is convinced he needs to turn this stupid comic feud into... It's not even a feud. It's a one-sided thing.

That thing is called early-onset dementia. He is a total retard. Everyone's like, hey, Matt, we're just kind of having fun making comics. And he's going, did you know Mint Salad has an OnlyFans or a Fansly or whatever? And it's like, yeah, you know, people think she's hot and they want to give her money for it Well, we can't have that in comics, Gabe Okay, well, she's not really in comics then She's not, like, yeah

What do you want? You can go make comics for people who hate pornography I know, that's the thing, you're like, what? Why don't you just go make, like, fucking Christian comics at this point if that's what you want? But for Christians who hate pornography. Yeah, exactly. You know? All 10% of them.

1% of them. Only the worst Christian. The biggest liars. Yes. And he's just on the warpath. He's going to sue Mint Salad for saying that she thinks he's a rapist now. He's just on the warpath. He's going to sue Mint Salad for saying that she thinks he's a rapist now.

Apparently, Ethan VanSkyver was out enjoying a brunch with his family, a nice time out, and immediately his phone... Was it Comic Gay Fiends? Pedo Free Brunch. Pedo Free Brunch. Okay, okay, okay. They have the thing on the door now, as all restaurants do. Like a B and then an A? I want this to catch on.

I hope Matt Barr trademarked this idea, because I think every establishment in America should have the pedo-free sticker on there. I think that would be helpful. And he's out to brunch with his family. And Matt Barr decides to start blowing up his phone to complain about mint salad. Everyone loves that in the morning. I know I love when I get calls from weirdos in the morning. I don't know how many internet fights you've been in, but nobody wants to get phone calls in the middle of the day

about how you're fighting with an autistic 24-year-old girl. That means your wife sent you to voicemail if you're calling a man about it. Can you imagine fighting with mint salad and having to call another grown man about it? Do you know how pathetic that is? Mint salad is bullying me on the internet. With their huge tits. You need to do something about it. They're do you know how pathetic that is? Mitch Salad is bullying me on the internet. With their huge tits.

You need to do something about it. You're not a pornographer. Man, you work in the bloodiest, most violent medium known to man. Shut the fuck up. You should have a little taste for the sexual and the violent and whatever else. So what's your

mood this week? I was saving this for voted up. Are you trying to do that now? Oh, no. Okay, we can save it. We can save it. Let's just go straight to the... Oh, by the way.

I'll get to that too. Generation of sexless idiots. I actually won. You won. I want to know people's thoughts on that problem because it seems genuinely like... It's a weird generation of kids who are all online being weird sexed out perverts. Yeah.

But then in real life they're like oh I can't possibly talk to another human being and try to court them. I'll just stay online and masturbate furiously to furry porn for the rest of my known life. All the bitches are fat and on SSRIs. So there's no chance of getting laid.

They've always been crazy. Yeah. But now they're crazy and we've handed them this weird institutionalized Me Too power. Somebody's got to take it away. We've got to go listen. It's because they're on the damn meds. They forgot how their pussy works. Weinstein should be the lowest bar.

It's like if you can't clear Weinstein, you need to rape 40 women across a period of two decades at the top of a industry. And then we'll take it seriously. Everybody else is off the hook. Yeah. Alright? Unless it's like a knocks you out, dragged you down the street kind of thing, but otherwise the my boyfriend had

power dynamic over me. We gotta get rid of that. If Weinstein was just like a dildo that had a sign on it that said fuck me. We gotta get rid of that. If Weinstein was just like a dildo that had a sign on it that said, fuck me and you'll get a career as an actress, that dildo would be in jail. Yeah, well. That's what happened there.

You're not allowed to make those deals for some reason. I couldn't help it. I wanted to follow my dream! I mean, I've always said, like, that's why I could never understand being a woman is because I'm like, hold on, if I fuck that mean, I've always said, like, that's why I could never understand being a woman is because I'm like, hold on. If I fuck that guy, I get to be in Shakespeare in love. Yeah.

All right. Sign me up. I'm going to star opposite Leo DiCaprio in an Oscar, in a movie that does not deserve the Oscar, but will be, have it pushed upon it by my, this Jewish financier who. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Einstein spent all his money to get all these Oscars because he knew what he was doing. He greased some palms. This Jewish financier who... Whoa! Whoa! Oh, nearly!

Weinstein spent all his money to get all these Oscars because he knew what he was doing. He greased some palms. Speaking of Jewish financiers, Gabe Hoffman on the warpath. Oh, is he again? Helping dox Stone... Oh, is that from last week? We talked about that already? I don't know. Yeah, he was doxing Stone Toss.

Doxing Stone Toss. Stone Toss has been doxed. This is crazy. I mean, it's always dirty when you take a swing like that. But then when you take a swing like that and it doesn't matter. I guess the update to the story was that Warski and PPP think it's hilarious that Stone Toss is getting doxed. I mean, it's like. Is it?

It's like a week old. Yeah, but then Warskiki's like His whole relationship You haven't been paying attention Well you'll probably Stay up more on all that I don't even I don't even care about those guys You know what's the point

Of talking about them They're just gonna make up bullshit I know I don't know I mean Well they did what They moved apart now right They don't live together anymore

I honestly I couldn't I think they broke up It's undignified To even discuss The guys' lives. What'd you discuss with Ethan Ralph? You went on Ralph's show, I saw. Everything else.

Everything other than that. Well, that was a good appearance I heard. I'll have to check that out. Patting yourself on the back. Second place for me as well. You did a sweep. We did a point system. We have one.

Three points for first, one point for second. Oh, an additional point system. Zero points for third. Negative points. Negative points for fourth. And then what? And then at the end of the year, we get like a tally. And then what? And then, I don't know. It's a game. I get everything

in the toy chest if I win. I get all things that I was sent to. Oh no, really? Oh shit, what if I win? I get all things that have all stats in. Oh, no, really? Oh, shit. What if I win? You get to burn every single thing. I don't want that, though.

I know you don't want that. No, that doesn't work. How about you get a bottle of liquor with your name on it? I already have that. Armchair Economist says the best part

of the completely missed irony of opening the box and expecting a good thing and it's just more random black stuff shoved in there, is Vito is experiencing DEI without realizing it. I understand that joke.

How about that? It's pretty clever, isn't it? I appreciate it. Justin Droby says, when you're a patron but a fat guy turns on memberships on the YouTube channel, if you don't catch it live you have a 30 second ad read every four minutes for three hours.

That is not Vito's fault. That's not my fault. A lot of people were blaming me for this. Which is right for them to do, but it is wrong in this instance. Hold on. It happens to be wrong. What happened was on the last episode. I thought it was you, too.

On many episodes, we have played a certain song from a Nickelodeon television show, the SpongeBob theme. The thing about YouTube, though, is if you play content that is in... It's, like, complicated. I've explained it to you. Here, it's not complicated. Reverend Scott, who made the theme, he took the theme that had the words blanked out from someone's upload channel and used that. So YouTube thinks that that guy owns the song.

Right. Because it has the song. Well, that guy had to manually tell YouTube that he owns it. He's still a fucker. Which is fucked. And that's why there's all the ads on it. Some German guy said,

I own this part of the video. Please put ads all over it and send me the money. The entire video, yeah. And I figured out a way around it that I was actually like, I was pretty smart. I was like, YouTube, I'm like,

shit, how do I get these turned off? Because you can do a counterclaim and be like, he doesn't own this. But then it takes 30 days for them to like figure it out. Yeah. So I told YouTube, I'm like, by the way, in this episode, there's like a bunch of sex and violence and shit and profanity and whatever. I can't see this backfire. Oh, God.

And they're like, never mind. This video is too racy for ads. So hopefully there's not ads on it now. Yeah, let us know. Yeah, I told YouTube that there's just naked. We wouldn't put an ad every five minutes. No. Vito would put maybe seven ads over three hours probably.

I would space them out. Yeah, not every five minutes. Come on. So it's not my fault. I saw somebody canceled his thing. He's like, oh, because Vito did this. I'm like, no, no, no. I hope you get cancer. Whoever you canceled your thing. He's like, oh, because Vito did this. I'm like, no, no, no. I hope you get cancer.

Whoever you canceled your thing. Yeah, he was all, he was grandstanding about it. He sent me a screenshot. He said, you know, I just, I can't believe you would put hands on the episode. I'm like, I didn't fucking put hands on the episode. You literally can, and you're wrong. You can believe it, and you are wrong, jackass. Well, that's how it goes.

I never called this guy out for sending me colored pens. Mm. Which are worthless. Well, the blue ones are good. No, blue ones are dog shit as well. Wait, blue's a good ink color, right? What's wrong with blue? I like blue. John from Twitter says, is this enough belts?

The green one doesn't make sense to me. When have you ever needed a green pen for anything? If you're in a Christmas mood. Mm-hmm. I'm going to need to write a shopping list in a Christmas mood. Well, I've never experienced that situation. You've never been in a Christmas mood? No.

Is this enough belts, John from Twitter says. Let's see. Oh, the belt. You're getting there. There you go. You're getting there, my friend. Hold on. I look pretty good.

Pretty belty. Pretty, pretty good. Pretty belty. Pretty, pretty good good This is about our Final Fantasy bonus episode That's right Currently available on Patreon and Backby

I thought it was a good Bonus episode I've been watching the People play the Rebirth Yeah And I heard that Lion guy's voice Yeah

And it sounds like Bart Simpson And it immediately Made me hate all of Wait Red 13 Sounds like Bart Simpson Yeah I don't And it sounds like Bart Simpson, and it immediately made me hate all of it. Wait, Red XIII sounds like Bart Simpson? I don't think he sounds like Bart Simpson. He sounds like a teenage boy. It sounds creepy and weird, and it looks weird, and it made me hate everything about Final Fantasy,

even retroactively. I would have to. He's not in a lot of voice lines, so I don't remember exactly what he sounds like. He sounds better than Barret. I mean, no. Barrett is just doing the most over-the-top Mr. T. Damn, Cloud, we really got to go take care of that shin rock.

I pity the Cloud. They don't muscle up my HP material. Yeah, that's one of those situations where I wish they had had a sweet baby around to go, you know, not all black people talking over-the-top affectations. Yeah, make them a black gay woman. Then you don't have to deal with it. Why don't they just have a normal kind of gruff voice?

You see that Black Panther woman that said no white people in the dev room? Yeah, that's pretty bad. Okay, so you do think that's bad. Can you pin that one on her? Or could that have happened anyhow? She doesn't work at Sweet Baby anymore. She was working there before.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. Look, I'm saying the bad, that's the worst thing. Just say you hate white men. I'm getting all these tweets that are like, Vito says none of this ever happens. I'm like, I didn't say that at all. Obviously things happen. No, no. People want that Warcraft guy to come on the show because he's the new king of Gamergate, I guess.

He's finally relevant. Yeah, you've got to listen to that lion's voice. I only listen to the Japanese voices because American women, I fired the first Final Fantasy game up, and I put it in English, you know. Then I'm playing, and then Tifa starts talking, and I'm like, I can't listen to an American woman for 60 hours. We talked about it. They sound really porny, too, in that Final Fantasy VII game.

They're like way doing like porn voice actresses. Wow, Cloud. I'm having so much fun. Another American woman. And then the Moogles talk to you, the Mogs. And that's clearly just a grown woman pretending to be a 12-year-old girl, which always drives me insane. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Jacob Rothschild. Oh, he's a listener. Damn, I feel dick on the national parks. Feel dick. It feels dick. It feels dick at national parks, maybe.

When they tell you to reserve a year and a half in advance and then pay for being in your public space that's supposed to already be paid for. A year and a half. Because they already stole it from you when you paid. Yeah, and then they charge nothing, so all these dumb boomers just go like, oh, I'll just buy two weeks out. And then if I cancel at the last minute, you know, who cares? That's what that one Chief Justice does.

He just drives his RV around, right? The hero? The black guy? The black hero of america you mean is he the black hero of america because he voted for all these horrible he's the only one standing between us and basically uh permanent uh chaos and and bloodbath but he's not letting me kill babies dick yeah i wish i could help you guys on that one i'm trying to sabotage it on the inside like you guys got to shut the fuck up about this abortion shit it's a big it's gonna be look you guys are winning on the uh immigration thing you're winning big time on the no but they just can't as soon as we get one step ahead one nose one nose ahead of the other guys. It's abortion. All the conservatives have to do is stop talking about abortion.

You already won that issue, so whatever. Just be like, yeah, you know what? You can even lie. No, because they're going state to state and ruining their governorship. Women are useless normally, but when you give them the ability to vote, all of a sudden they feel like in power, so they all do it. So just do what women want, and they'll get it. So, yeah, that one's, you got to stop doing that.

Go hard on the immigration. Yeah. And keep kicking the trans trash can down the road. That's got a lot of traction. People really like that one. I don't like that. I think it gets people riled up. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but hey, man, you guys destroyed Bud Light, as we've seen.

You can't even buy a can of Bud Light. Niall Coughlin said, I've tickled some tummies in my day. I guess it's off the table now. Thanks. Tummy ticklers unite, he says. Great episode. Why is Vito dressed like a bottle of Pepto-Bismol? 415 Nick said that.

I just coordinate my colors, see? Now you're dressed like a... Now I'm a traffic cone. Big gay traffic cone. Screwball Johnson. Spoilers for Rebirth, but Sephiroth is just super killer now. I didn't know that. Oh, shit.

He's going to... Everybody came up with the same idea at the same time, but we'll talk about that in a second. Atil says, we don't talk like that in Iceland and we're not Slavic. I am Hjort. H has got things on that. Was I wrong in saying Yara is Icelandic? I thought she was. No, they had an Iceland voice coach on the set.

Yeah. And she has ice powers, even though Iceland is everyone knows. It should be Greenland. Yes. Well, where were Vikings, though? Weren't Vikings landed in Iceland? I think they were in Greenland as well I really think she's a Viking

Somebody else is trying to say that From Iceland though They're trying to resurrect Jesus Christ In the Isom comic That would honestly save it That would be so much better That's what he's been building towards And then the Saska sisters piss all over him.

Something about the name Pro-Jexus. I think Jexus is like some sort of Latin term that means like of Christ or something. Well, they cloned Abraham Lincoln, so why not clone Jesus? If they're just bringing Jesus back and it's all been building towards that, I'm going to go, You did it, Eric. You did it. All right. You got a little sound.

The journey was terrible, but the arrival point... But it's better than the front half of the Bible. Yeah. I'll give you a little credit for that. We'll give Eric credit here. Here's some comments on the Yira trailer. J.N. Burns says, I'm so excited. I love superhero spoof comedies.

That was his comment on the Yira trailer. Oh. Fantastic. Yo Dawgs Gaming says Not gonna lie, this is funnier than anything Hollywood has released in a while But probably not intentionally Thanks for the head zoop Thanks for the head zoop

That trailer is such a mistake Thanks for the head zoop You know the best thing Eric had going for him Is that nobody reads comics So there's no way to judge if they're good or bad But everybody watches movies and TV shows Especially trailers Eric had going for him is that nobody reads comics. So there's no way to judge if they're good or bad. Right. But everybody watches movies and TV shows. Especially trailers.

Especially trailers. Dog shit. So everybody knows. It's not like before where there's like, well, I don't really read comics. Maybe this is good for a comic. Yeah.

But I know that shit for a trailer. I've seen six trailers today. I've seen some movie trailers and that is fucking... He destroyed the veil. You know, like it's been pierced now. Everyone, look at my wiener.

I don't know a lot about comics. Why is everybody mad at this comic? I don't know anything about... Oh, my God! What is that lady saying? You look down like a chump. Thanks for the healthy. Were you trying to knock me out?

No. That was a death blow. Why'd you say sweet dreams chilled that? Sweet dreams chilled. When you were sweet dreams chilled then? Sweet dreams chilled When you were gonna kill her Sweet dreams Like you're gonna knock her out No, like I'm gonna kill her

Like sweet dreams in hell That doesn't make sense, Yaira You had 2,000 years Sweet dreams in hell Sweet dreams As Tony from Hack the Movies pointed out He's like Well, she's been around for like the past couple thousand years

Why does she still have her ancient accent? Like Would she have just picked up American ancient accent? Was that the accent at that time? Or was it before that accent? I don't know. Where did she get these? Good. It's all good. Why is it so fucking hot in here? I don't know.

I'm roasting. It is very hot. What the fuck? I'm gonna crank this. Crank it. Man. And then YouTube says, thanks for putting this out. As someone who vocally criticizes mainstream comics and then ash youtube says thanks for putting this out as someone who vocally

criticizes mainstream comics or movies it's great that you're attempting to make your own stuff to rival it too often with the nature

of sensationalist algorithms on youtube many content creators basically talentless hacks will just complain about entertainment without throwing their own hat

into the ring for how they might improve the state of modern entertainment but not you it's good to see you attempting to create something of your own, putting your neck out there.

With that said, if this is your alternative to mainstream superheroes, I'd rather saw my own arm off and watch another minute of this. I don't watch a lot of Disney stuff because it's boring formulaic cash grabs, but your achievement here seems to be that you've made a far, far more inferior version of something that was already garbage to begin with. See, whenever I watch these guys criticize those CW shows, I go, I don't think you guys realize how hard it is to make a superhero show look good. Yeah.

The fact that it's at all passable. If you can get a six out of 10 for a CW show, it's like, good job, man, on a TV budget? Jesus Christ. And these guys go, oh, no, the problem is they don't love and respect the characters enough. And it's like, no man, it's just like, you tried filming it, here's what happens. You have a girl on the ground, you have a stock sky laser effect, you have a

shitty... Let's both do that. Wait, put your head up. Someone can edit that in. Have fun with that, guys. What should we say? Let's sky laser. We gotta have Have fun with that, guys. What should we say? Skylaser. We've got to have a catchphrase, though. What was Yaira's catchphrase?

Thanks for the heads up. Thanks. There you go. Someone's having fun with that. The Yaira trailer. I'm done with comments. Well, good, because I have a very exciting segment that is near and dear to my heart it's a segment that i like to call vote it up go vote it up don't be a cuckold yeah is this a woman it is

it's gotta be AI. It's probably AI. It's gotta be. If you don't vote now, I'll kill your family. Yep, AI. Also, veto is a pedophile. Come on, man. That is the biggest flash, though. Yeah, that's true.

Vote for yourself. A little easy listening here today on Voted Up, the segment where we revisit past problems and put them in a new light. Dick, from episode 113, I brought in the concept of idea guys. These are guys who have a great idea. A wonderful, incredible idea. An idea like one never seen before. I don't know about that.

And unfortunately, those guys are very worried about their ideas getting stolen. I, of course, said, well, that's silly. Why would anyone take your great idea? Even though you've said that in the show, you've not given your dumb ideas out because you said someone will steal it.

About what? Something. I don't know. I read in the comments people were busting your chops for it. I forget what it was, though. Well, we don't know because you didn't tell us.

Well, I'm trying to remember. I have a lot of great ideas. Yeah. I mean, there's stuff about... Do you have any that weren't done by Marvel before your... Before your version came out? Well, guys, the new movie Deadpool and Wolverine is set to release July 26, 2024.

I think that's the most current date, but I don't know. I thought it was coming out sooner. I thought it was coming out in Super Killer release time. Is it before or after Super Killer? We're going to see about that. New plot details have emerged about Deadpool and Wolverine. Marvel leaker Daniel Richtman, a behind-the-scenes saboteur, gets all the details. Says Deadpool 3 will introduce a new multiverse concept.

Huh. The idea is that... That idea's been around. The multiverse has been around for a long time. Rick and Morty. How could you expand on that in any meaningful way? DC's done it forever. Well, he says that in the Deadpool movie that we will learn that every universe has a being

that's incredibly important for that reality. That's kind of been touched on, too. Sure, of course. The One, I think, was something like that. It's dumb, but Jesus has been happening for 2,000 years, right? Okay. Son of God, you know? Right. That was the original of this concept, right something like that. Yeah, that's kind of, it's dumb, but, you know, Jesus has been happening for 2,000 years, right? Okay. Son of God, you know? Right.

That was the original of this concept, right? Very much. And without that superhero, unfortunately, their universe will die. Uh-oh. Okay. And, uh, extrapolating that out, seems as though one character will be going from universe to universe, killing superheroes. So.

So refunds? Everybody's getting a refund? It's over. That's it. There's no comic. You should pack it up. I'm just packing it up. Everybody gets their money back. You gotta still make a comic, but. I'll just change the whole thing now. Now he's just gay. He just goes and does gay stuff.

Call it Super Deadpool. And make him black. And a woman. Make him a black lesbian Deadpool. Stop doing that. You don't need to do that. We all get it. The button's stuck. Stop it with the fucking horn, alright? I'll stop it early here. Why don't you play the boogie horn? I like that one.

He took off the boogie horn. Here's the thing, guys. I'm a retard. I still want it off. You took off the boogie horn. Yeah. Here's the thing, guys. I'm a retard. Yeah. Wow. I still want my own. Somebody said they sent in one of these for me. Did they actually or no?

I'm a retard. That one? No, somebody said they sent me a stream deck. Oh, this one. I'm a retard. Yeah, that one. I hate you so much. So your original date for Super Killer was December.

We're not talking about that. We're not talking about any of this. Okay? The point is not about dates or whatever. But it would have been. It's fine. It's all fine. Super Killer would have been out in December when all this Eric Gilles shit hit the fan.

And before- It'll be out. At Marvel, this Deadpool 3 would look like a ripoff of Super Killer, actually. Actually, it would look like you were totally vindicated, because your idea was used, was created separately and synchronously by the greatest screen idea guys in the world, right? Well... Now it looks like a ripoff. Right.

It looks like I'm a failure, what are you what are you gonna do i have always been a failure and everything i do falls apart so all i could do is soldier on it hasn't fallen apart yet though it's getting there you're gonna have to work and bust your ass for months so that it fails first of all what fails my? Because it's now a ripoff of Deadpool 3. Look. At least it's not like a new TV show that's going to be about a guy doing this every week, like a serial adventure that I'm now competing with. It's a one-shot movie.

Hopefully that plot line resolves itself and it doesn't turn into like Kang's doing that or something that's going to happen across the Marvel Universe. I hope that we're still existing in a slightly unique... All of your tropes are going to be used in this movie. I know. And they're going to do it in two hours. In two hours, they're going to knock out what I had planned as like a 24 issue arc. Because they're going to go, we're going to kill this guy, this guy, this guy,

this guy. And then whatever they do, whatever they do, I can't use anymore because people will be like, oh, it's like that part in Deadpool Wolverine. Yeah, it's just like Deadpool. And a lot of your ideas are going to be on there already. If he goes to a Sailor Moon universe and kills a Sailor Moon, I'm going to jump off a building. There will be five seconds of that.

There probably will. There'll be like a cutaway. And I'm fucked. Oh my god. How's that gaming cabinet look now? Shut up. Looks like a big answer. Why does everybody think that me spending one hour of one day going to pick up a gaming cabinet is the reason the comic is-

You know who wasn't picking up gaming cabinets? Eric July. Marvel. The writers of Marvel. They were putting their idea down, getting it made. I should have just paid a bunch of aging comic talents and Brazilians to make comic books for me. Yeah. Yeah.

Then I wouldn't have to write them. Do you have any regrets? I mean, there's things I could have structured differently. Like what? Just, uh, laying out timelines. Timelines? Yeah. Stress, figuring out what... You think you could give Marvel a call and see if they'll delay the movie?

That you've got a real hot piece of property coming in? Well, let's put it this way. The movie doesn't come out until July, right? And when's Supergirl come out? Next July? Not next July. Well, now you can wait until after all the hullabaloo has died down

and people forget about Deadpool 3. Who likes Deadpool? Practically no one. I'm seeing if I can find a way to convince my team to pick up and really get things moving. If you don't get it out before this movie, don't release it. Shut up. Just keep the money. I'm telling you.

Okay. Just send everyone a picture of your penis and say, I failed. We're not doing that. It's better than the book. If you don't get it out by this. This is an arbitrary deadline. It's not a failure. It's not arbitrary.

This is life. This is as real as death. If you do not get your comic out before Deadpool 3, don't release it. All right. Sure. I'm serious.

You're an idiot. It's not what's happening. That's it. Just bin it. Shelve it. Okay. Watch as the movie is really popular and Marvel goes, we've decided this is just what Deadpool does now,

and we're going to give him a 24-issue running miniseries. And we need one guy who's ahead of this and working on it. You're like Alan Grant in Jurassic Park in that scene, right? There's one guy who's been working on a universe exactly like what we need. Somebody told me to sue Marvel, they were like dead serious about it. I saw that. Yeah. Okay.

I don't think that's... Don't comment on any of my stuff. Anyway, guys, Idea Guys... I don't even want to do this show now. It's currently number 388 with 159 upvotes. What was the emotions you were going through when you read that? I went, well. Because I didn't even finish reading the sentence,

and I opened up my browser and just typed, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, in all caps. I still think what we're doing. I texted Tony from Hack the Movies. You're never going to believe this. I think we have enough differences where it can still stand on its own. Yeah, theirs is good. Oh, man.

They couldn't have just gave me like a... They gave you two years. Shut up. It's not... Well, okay. There's no point And Null isn't even around to celebrate I know, this is way worse

This is way worse than my fuck Wait, did Null just disappear? Yeah, but I have a voicemail from him Oh, okay He said what he's doing Well, he took that lawsuit money He's partying, I assume I don't want to jump to conclusions

We'll see Happens all the time where somebody gets $200,000 And then they disappear. Then they take a little vacation. It's kind of a Keffels type. I don't know. Maybe I'll use that money to do something important. I don't know.

Dick, I got another voted up here. Okay. Can you hit me with a little stinger for this one? Not that. What do you mean? Boycott of the Week. Oh, oh, oh. Boycott of the Week.

Guys, another exciting conservative-led boycott is hitting the books. You've got to give me a hint. I told you before the show. I don't know. Kind of a lot's happened since then. I know, I know. I'm sorry. Regardless, we're very excited.

Another new Boycott of the Week. And this one, people are saying, this is the new one. It's a since then. I know, I know. I'm sorry. Regardless, we're very excited. Another new boycott of the week. And this one, people are saying, this is the new one. It's a bloodbath. They're saying it's a bloodbath, Dick. Okay, okay. Why don't you pull up the stock price of Planet Fitness? Oh. As Planet Fitness critics are now saying, go woke, go broke.

Calling on the top fitness chain to receive the Bud Light treatment after an uproar over transgender locker room policies. Just days after a woman in Alaska. Oh, it's normal. Down a little bit. Well, this story, I believe, started on the 15th. This is their, man, what a. Oh, my God.

It's a bloodbath. Down 12% in five years Five years 12% Look at the one year graph real quick Had a rough time during COVID Wow look at that I was shorting them during COVID Like the one year graph

Look at this bloodbath I mean it's down I guess maybe six months They just did this boycott, didn't they? They just did it, and well, that's- Down 1%. It's down 1% across five days. The point is that a transgender- How can we short trans women?

Where's the stock that we can short trans women on? That would be good if there was an anti-trans fund that all the companies were super, you know- It's called the Republican Party. Well, you can't invest in that. Or can you? Yeah. Point is, there was a transgender individual, or an individual claimed to be transgender, we don't actually know, using the woman's locker room.

Everyone turns into a cop when they talk about transgender people. They're like, there's a transgender individual perpetrating to utilize the sink facilities. They were wearing. woman's crop top and short skirt. High heel shoes. Heel of about two inches. You never do that with non-trans people. It was a guy. Some black guy.

I don't know. Anyway, was in the restroom. Yeah. What are they doing? Shaving their balls? Well, I think they might have been restroom. Yeah. And, uh. What are they doing? Shaving their balls? Well, I think they might have been shaving. Look, I'll say. A lot of women should be shaving, you know?

A lot of women should be shaving. Shaving. My point was that, uh, anyway, a lady went, complained, and they, uh, banned her from Planet Fitness because they're like, well, you can't take pictures in the locker room. And you're like, well, yeah, you can't take pictures in the locker room. That's obvious. Take a picture after they leave the locker room. Okay, that's why she got banned. Taking pictures. Sure. Well, kind of. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, you can't take pictures in the locker room. That's obvious. Take a picture after they leave the locker room. That's why she got banned.

Taking pictures. Well, kind of, yeah. They have like a zero tolerance on that. Help, I'm being raped in the bathroom. Well, you shouldn't even take those pictures. That's a little different. That's like a crime is being committed. This is, as I say.

This is just a guy in the bathroom. No big deal. Well, it's one of these things where people are like, oh, Planet Fitness needs to do something about this. I'm like, did she know it was a trans woman when she took the picture? Did she say, oh, fuck, a guy? Well, it definitely looks like a guy, I'll say. So what was it for her? Have you seen the picture?

I thought it was a picture of Paul Reiser at first. Kind of looks like Paul Reiser. Let's see. Trans. I mean, this is one of those things where i go like i understand yeah this person seems like they clearly are out of place in this uh female locker room i think the problem though is that it's like this is not planet fitness can't fix this uh yeah they can well they could be a private club and say use the other use the other room the thing is that the reverse social backlash of banning them is worse than what conservatives can typically inflict.

Yeah. Most of these companies are scared of a liberal shame thing. Paul Reiser, bro. Look at this. Paul Reiser. That's from the front? That's what they look like? That's just a guy.

She walked in here and saw this and goes, oh, shit. Oh, shit. I got gotta get a picture of this! I only saw a picture from the back. I didn't realize. Because no one would believe her. Here's, uh... The problem is they say Planet Fitness has lost $400 million in market value. And you're like, yeah, well, they're down 1%. Yeah, that's

the picture I saw. It looks like Alex Stein. Well, that does look like Alex Stein. These bitches have like a circle mirror? Oh, fuck that. Oh, man. Why do they have a circle mirror? So they can do all their makeup. Nice.

With a ring light. They do their makeup at the gym. I guess you're out of the shower. It's better than while they're driving. Yeah. Look, I think. You're for this, right? You want white men out of video games and into the women's locker room.

I think this is a situation that there's no. What do you do? You just say you're not allowed in the women's locker room. I think this is a situation that there's no... What do you do? You just say you're not allowed in the women's locker room? Yeah. Okay, and then everybody has to do it. Like, every gym. Sorry. Okay, but then what if a trans person, like, really passes and they, like, clearly should not get... There should be, like, a... Really passes in the

fucking shower? How is that happening? I'm just saying, like, you could have, like, a... There should be, like, a guide. There should be a five-year-old boy no no no it should be an ai facial recognition technology if the robot thinks you are a lady you get to go in the ladies locker room well ai struggles around a uh certain group of people for some reason oh if you're black you can do whatever you want man you can't have women dealing with this shit give me me a break. I agree. I just think that, uh,

I don't know, maybe they'll have another successful conservative boycott. Uh. I just think this is one of these situations where, uh, this is like the government's problem, right? What? Well, because there's like anti-discrimination law and stuff.

Oh, so repeal the Civil Rights Act. Yeah, I agree. Repeal parts of the, like revise the Civil Rights Act. Okay. Title IX. All the things protecting different classes of people, get rid of them. Well, you can't do that. Why? Because then- And you guys will lose the black vote, right? No, because there are genuinely logistical problems that will lead to systemic racism if you

do that what's this this is a man in a woman's locker room this is this is uh systemic oppression okay so what would you what would your solution be repeal the civil rights act i don't want to do that companies can do whatever they want i'm companies are doing whatever the fuck they want to me. I'm still surviving. It sucks, but... Okay, but it becomes, you know, part of the problem was, or at least a hypothetical problem. I don't know if this was actually... No, this was happening.

You know, black people would be driving across the country, right? It's your right to travel. Would they be going like this? Do-do-do. Yes, they would. Do-do-do-do-do. And then white people would be driving like... Across the country? That's how they would do it, yes. And then they people would be driving like Across the country

That's how they would do it And then they get pulled over No they would go to gas stations And be unable to fill up their cars And let's imagine you have a system That depends, a country That depends highly on inter Or continental, what do you call it

Transit trucking They won't give gas to black people Just carry around some white shoe polish. That's your solution. That's an easy solution! I have to do that! I have to constantly lie about who I am! All the trucking companies are only hiring white

drivers because those are the only drivers who can go to the South and get service. Then you get Sweet Baby Inc. in there. Look, we got a big problem with people not accepting minorities. Look, at the point we're at in our country where now I don't think a gas station would refuse service to black people, hopefully. A gas station would refuse service to a black guy. Not in today's modern age, but at the time the Civil Rights Act was implemented.

How do you know that? There's plenty of anecdotes of this taking place. From whom? From black people who were dry. Are there any gas station owners? They all made it up. That was awesome, man. I bet there are. I would turn away business all the time. There probably are. They wouldn't let them go to the fucking schools with white kids.

They're like, oh my god, I can't believe. God forbid. I'm not touching my own shit. God forbid you get your own school to teach whatever you want. Fucking God forbid. Get your own school. Here's a bunch of money. Stay home.

That drinking fountain's pretty good. I think it's better than that white one. Oh, holy. I wish I had my own drinking fountain. I drink out of the dog one. I don't want to drink to one of these disgusting people. Black bathroom a couple buildings over. It's way better than the white one that's right next to where you work.

Don't worry about it. White people, black people crying. My Mexican people are crawling over barbed wire to get in here to be a slave class. I don't fucking feel sorry for you people at all. It's like fucking a physical challenge on double there for you people. Oh, boy. Win a piece of the Mexican aggro, Craig. You guys are all coming with your golden monkey idol.

No, Jorge. You're going to put the top on. Well, that's a boycott of the week. Currently number 86, 495. Up, folks. Boycott of the week. Don't forget to vote it up. And boycott Deadpool 3.

No. Don't watch. Do you have a message for your supporters? Guys, don't watch Deadpool 3 because it's going to be, it'll ruin Super Killer because the execution of the idea will be better. And so they might coincidentally use the best jokes in the

comic in the movie. It really is really bad the more I think about it. Because it's not like one of these things where I can go to a publisher and go like, we got a really cool idea that's fresh and original. They go,

oh, so it's like Deadpool 3. I've already heard this pitch. Yeah, so you saw Deadpool 3. Is that why you came up with it? Your phase two is totally fucking destroyed. Well, hmm. Your phase two is totally fucking destroyed. Why not? Hmm. That's okay. Vito's booty will be good.

I felt really bad for you this week. It's like, it just like shoots my whole idea in the fucking face. You don't understand. It is a cool idea, but now it's a Marvel idea. So it's just something

Marvel did. You know what another funny part is? Everybody, there's going to be a lot of people who just hate that idea now

because of the association with Marvel. And then they're going to target you with their hatred. And they otherwise wouldn't feel any kind of hatred about it because they've been stoked because it's a Marvel property. Like, all the Friday Night Tight guys and all the Eric July fucking rip-a-tards are now going to be fueled knowing exactly how to hate the idea. Well, hold on.

Maybe it'll be a benefit that they can't criticize my idea because they're all going to say they like Deadpool 3, I'm pretty sure. Fairly spoke. He's testing very highly. Also, is Deadpool 3... Wait. Check what Deadpool 3 is rated. Is it R? God damn it, man. I can't catch a break.

It talks about pegging. What are you talking about? It's very R. Ryan Reynolds is great. Maybe Ryan Reynolds is great. Maybe Ryan Reynolds will rape a bunch of kids before the movie comes out. Everyone would love it then. Then everybody would be out raping kids. Anyone with a cricket wireless phone would be.

You got kids you rape? Or mint. I don't know what it is. It's like if I ever try to pitch it to anybody, it's like I can't do an exciting pitch. Because it's Deadpool 3. It's just Deadpool 3 now. Have you seen Deadpool 3? Yeah, it just came out. It's not like an old idea that you're revitalizing.

It's just a thing that just happened. Star-studded. Oh, man. Owen Wilson is in there. Oh, my God. There's no black people in this cast. You must hate that.

I'll say it. Here's the only... There's nothing I can do. Whatever. It's just dead. Who cares? Who cares? Do they have pogs for Deadpool 3, though?

They don't have pogs. They don't have pogs. Did you get a little ahead of yourself? Did I get a little ahead of myself? I'm having fun. As long as I'm having fun. Luck. You look like you're having fun.

Maybe it'll come out. Maybe people will see that there's something there. And they'll want a little more. They'll want a little more. In comic form. In comic form. That's not quite the same. Like, after the Super Bowl, everybody's like, I could go for some, like, flag football.

Or maybe they'll read it and they'll go, well, that's not as good as Deadpool and Wolverine and so I don't want more because I could just watch Deadpool and Wolverine. So Deadpool is super killer and Wolverine is a girl in your story. I think Wolverine is probably the person Deadpool is

supposed to kill last. I can extrapolate that. Although I don't know. Deadpool is probably teaming up with Wolverine to save a little Mexican girl. That's probably what's happening. No, they already saved a little Mexican kid in the second one. You can't save enough Mexican kids, Vito. Do you see what's going on in the country? I see it.

All right. Let's do my problem. You need a win. I don't need anything anymore. Dick, I got a little story for you. I was at the Safeway buying some groceries. What were you buying? Heads of broccoli.

Okay. Almonds. Beef. Beef broth. Okay. All healthy things. Okay. Had to take a shit at the Safeway.

It's disgusting. Disgusting. That shouldn't happen. I didn't want it to happen. No, it shouldn't happen. Why are you taking surprise a shit at the Safeway. It's disgusting. Disgusting. That shouldn't happen. I didn't want it to happen. Well, no, it shouldn't happen. Why are you taking surprise shits at the store? What do you mean? I just... It's five minutes away from your house.

It's not five minutes away from my house. It's on the other side of the... It's like 15 minutes from my house. How far are you going to shop? I was just over in that neck of the woods, and I was like, I should get groceries as long as I'm over here. You're stopping at a strange store to get groceries? It's not a strange store. That's a nice... They got a lot of good

stuff there. You wouldn't go to... They got good deals. What's going on? The closest grocery store to me is Smart and Final and that one sucks because it's like kind of like a halfway bulk buy place. Oh, okay. It's like a lot of restaurant supply shit, so it's like larger

portions that I don't need And the next closest grocery store to me Is an Asian grocery store Which is great when I want a bunch of Fish and bugs But I didn't want that So I was like alright That one is like a close

Relatively normal American It's a normal American grocery store Surprise shit at the grocery store No that's not the problem The problem is I had to take a shit I go in there And I look at the toilet And what do I see?

I see that someone Well that would have been cool I would have taken a picture of that I see that someone has Taking pictures of the bathroom There you go I'm taking pictures of You're throwing that lady under the bus

No it was one of these locked ones That only There's only one toilet in there It's a one man situation. I had it all to myself. I look down at the toilet and I look at the thing you sit on, the toilet seat I guess you would call that.

Okay. And I see, what do I see? I see Darren for life carved into it with a knife. Awesome. Deep sharp gouges. That's awesome. And I said, what is going on, Dick? My problem is people who carve their name into shit

for no reason. What are you doing? You got on your hands and knees in a Safeway bathroom so you can take out your pocket knife and carve your name into a toilet seat. You gotta have something to read when you're in there.

You can't read it when you're in there because you're sitting on it. That doesn't make any fucking sense. Why don't you just write your name on a piece of paper and look at it then? What are you getting out of that? What do you get out of carving your name into a toilet seat, carving it into the wall,

carving it into a fucking tree? What is this impulse of like, yeah, my name? Because it's upsetting to other people, to squares and nerds. It's just, I find it pathetic. It's not upsetting in a way that I'm like, oh my God, I'm so upset. It's like, why did you do this? What are you possibly getting out of this?

You're getting all bent out of shape and mad about it and seething about it. Yeah, I'm really seething. You are seething about it. You don't want really seething. You are seething about it. You don't want to touch your ass to his name. I thought about it. First of all, it leaves these little raised indentations on the seat, which makes it a little more uncomfortable. Yeah.

Second of all, it creates these grooves where bacteria, I assume, can collect. Oh, yeah. All kinds of guys shoot up your ass now. Yeah, exactly. Little pieces of shit probably get wedged into the letters of your name. Why? This is, okay, carving your name into shit is for people who have no other way to impact change on the world and they feel helpless.

Yeah. And the only way they can leave any sort of lasting legacy is to take a knife or their key or whatever and just stupidly carve their name, even though it's probably a name that millions of other people have. So it's not even like a unique artist's signature that will never be recognized again. It's just like name that millions of other people have, so it's not even like a unique artist signature that will never be recognized again. It's just like, yeah, Steve. That's even better, though. That's for me.

Because you could be imagining the most worse Steve you could imagine. Oh, man, I bet this fucking guy's going to really picture a fucking crazy Steve here. I think this is the most pathetic behavior. These are men who probably- They have the impulse- Could be a probably, they have the impulse to be artists, I guess. You know, like the great cave painters of yore who would carve depictions of the beasts of the plain into the wall. And at least then they depicted something. Instead, these people don't even have the imagination to imagine a figure or an animal or anything. a figure or an animal or anything.

All they can imagine is the alpha, numeric, whatever fucking characters that spell out their own name. Do you think? They have no imagination whatsoever. Do you think there are caveman guys? Because they didn't have names back then, right? Right. When they're doing the wall stuff. Maybe they're drawing themselves at least.

The guy's like, oh, I'm Ugg. I'm going to put Ugg on this fucking. Yeah, fuck all these animals. I think when he drew a guy with a spear, he probably said, that's me. That's me right there. Why you put yourself in every one of these paintings? Fuck you. It would be cooler if you drew a little guy.

Then you come into his cave. Oh, why does everybody got to draw themselves in my cave? I think this was a thing that should have died out with the caveman. You think a caveman ever drew a painting of a boss-ass fight with woolly mammoths? Yeah. And then he went to his friend's place, who's a much bigger, more popular guy, and he saw the same picture, and he's like, ah, fuck.

I was working on that picture at my place, but everyone already saw it. I guess I'll just keep working on this one, because people already paid to see it. Yeah. People already paid me their animals to see it so. All I know is that this is a very crazy behavior. I mean,

like a signature, an artist's signature, you're signing a piece of art or like something you made. You didn't make the toilet seat. You didn't make a wall. It's like avant-garde. What are you hoping happens when someone sees that? This! Somebody sees it and gets all pissed off.

Like, this was my toilet. This should be my toilet. I'm sitting on this toilet. But Darren has it. I'm going to give some of these people exactly what they want then. This has been an ongoing phenomenon. In 2015, a man named Julio Perez carved his name into the limestone walls of the Alamo. Awesome. And was caught in the Alamo. Awesome.

And was caught in the act. Worth it. In 2023, this was recent, in a lot of videos of this, a Bulgarian tourist was caught carving him and his fiancée's name into the walls of the Roman Colosseum. Very cool. And he was caught on video, and a guy said, hey, what are you doing?

He looked at him and gave him a little thumbs up or something. He thought it was cool. It is cool. Tell me if this one's cool. In 2018, an Irish man was caught carving his name into a wall. What would be the worst place to carve your name, Dick? Can you think of one? The Wailing Wall in Israel, in Jerusalem.

That's very close. Oh. You're on the nose. I can't think of a worse one than that, I'm afraid. Auschwitz, Dick, Auschwitz Too easy Not as bad Not as bad as the Wailing Wall

Because you're defacing a Nazi memorial It's not as bad as defacing You're right, you're causing damage to Nazi property Dick, not to mention that these acts can come with big fines So don't think you should just be running around doing this wildly. A Twin Cities man who decided to commemorate his marriage by marking up the monument where one of the two guys, Clark, and what's the other one?

The guy who went across the country. Penis? Pocahontas. Oh, Pocahontas? No, what was the Pocahontas expedition? Sacagawea. Yeah, but who were the two white guys? Lois and Clark.

It was Clark and Clark II. Clark and Clark II. Two Clarks. And that's when the two Clarks went on the Western expedition. Anyway, he marked up that monument. Actually, that's one of the few places that Clark and Lois carved their name into this rock. So you don't have a problem with that? and Lois carved their name into this rock.

And he decided... So you don't have a problem with that? Well, I think the point is that there was a certain time when maybe you needed... That was the only way to leave a mark. If you're the first guy to go across the thing, sure. If you just drove to it in your car... He's the first guy that... He might have been the first guy on that toilet at Safeway.

You don't know. Look, I'll say this. If you discover a thing... Who gives a fuck? It's a toilet at Safeway. They're going to make a new one when some you discover a thing... Who gives a fuck? It's a toilet at Safeway. They're going to make a new one when some fat ass breaks it. Who gives a shit?

Point is, this man received a $3,400 fine. A bunch of that money... That's it? To replace the damage, Dick. They have to fix the rock, I guess. Huh. Did they fix Auschwitz? I don't know if they fixed Auschwitz. It doesn't stop, Dick, at just monuments and rocks, though.

This is probably the worst one. You know, I found my pictures of me at the Wailing Wall. Yeah? I was going to post them during all this hoopla. Oh. I didn't do it, though. I thought, ah, that would be too much. Too on the nose?

Yeah, I don't want that picture floating around. I saw Alex Jones reposted that drone strike video. Did you see that video? Alex Jones is finally coming around. Fat red idiot. Finally coming around. In 2013, Dr. Simon Bramhall was completing a liver transplant.

Putting a liver into a woman. They do this at Planned Parenthood every time. They mark the fetus with their fetus. Whatever it is. Sure. Well, this man decided to use his electric beam after he'd finished transplanting the

thing to put his initials S and B onto a woman's laser. Because the fucking thing, the transplant got rejected and they opened her back up and they go, hey, what the fuck? Why does it say S and B on this lady's liver? They ratted him out for that? Yeah, the other doctor was like, bro, I don't think you're supposed to do that. I think you could damage the thing, and that might be why it rejected it, because you went, Simon was here, bro.

That's cool. That guy lost his- What about the American flag on the moon, then? Has it been defaced? Have people carved their names into it? The flag is the defacement. Why the fuck is there an American flag up there? A flag can be removed.

It leaves no trace. It's got a big hole in the ground. Those holes don't just fix themselves on the moon. Kick a little dirt over it. Who's going to do that? Moon man? I'm just saying, all you people who feel the need to carve your names into things, just get over it. You're like arguing against the spirit of adventure, like Edmund Hillary Clinton.

Go online. Carve your name into a bulletin board. A new world. We've got to go find a whole new world to put our name on. We now live in a modern era. There are infinite ways if you want to create a stupid legacy of something you did. Just go on Twitter and talk about pedophilesiles and then you'll be enshrined forever everyone will never stop talking about it

and we'll bring it up constantly for the rest of your life so that's one way if you really want to live in infamy why not and there's just other ways don't crowdfund a comic that Marvel is going to do if we talk about this the whole episode I will kill myself Marvel's going to kill themselves first though

so you better hurry. My problem is carving your name into shit, guys. This is like, man. It's a good problem. Great problem. Graffiti everywhere with a gray- Graffiti is at least autistic. That's not carving.

A guy does, like, cool word art. I got no problem with that. No, shitty word art. No, it's not. Sometimes it's cool. Yes, but the bad stuff is the same. Yeah, well, you hope the bad guys get better. You know, you hope the bad guys eventually learn I'm not very good at this and they stop.

I want them to destroy the good stuff. See that high rise in LA where every floor is graffitied now? That was pretty good. Dude, that was awesome. Yeah, but it would have been better if it was, like, bad and it had, like, boner written on it. Yeah, it just said, like, shit and fuck. The N-word. the n-word and the n-word on every floor nice nothing redeeming about that good job what about la's famous uh

landmarks the n-word tower every floor because now it's like a statement against like you know it's like a pro poor statement if it was just like to end and i hate women written down being like yeah awesome that no fat chicks every single floor 40 stories up i wrote my name when i was a little kid i went to new york and i wrote my name or maybe i think wrote on the very top of the empire state building used to be you could still go up there right and i was with my mom i was like do you have a pen i went and wrote my name. Nice. Very top little overlook thing.

Did you ever go back and see if it's there? You can't anymore. They closed it. I do remember one time. That's why you got to write. If you can carve your name or write your name, you got to do it because then they're just going to close it. Yeah.

And keep, you know, normal people from seeing it. I just think if you're going to. I mean, at least the Empire State Building, it's like some. It's not a bathroom in a safe way, you know? What's the difference? I don't know. You're right. It's all the same.

None of this matters. Are you writing anything over there? You're in here every week fucking scribbling on shit. I'm going to start leaving my name... I'm going to start carving my name around your house. How's that? Okay, my problem is speed traps. Cops hiding.

Yeah. Everywhere. Giving me heart attacks and heartburn. They're sitting there with their fucking speed traps. Cops hiding. Everywhere. Giving me heart attacks and heartburn. Sitting there with their fucking speed guns. Making me drive erratically. I almost brought in a problem like that. Because I was driving today and a cop just...

They were just driving and a cop's just next to you. And you're like, come on, man. Just go faster for me. Big time intrusive thoughts. I come on, man. Just like either go fast for me. Big time intrusive thoughts. I'm like, man. Can you just get away from me, please? Because cops just exist to be assholes.

They love it, too. Yeah. And then they pretend like they're not. Speed traps should be illegal, but they won't be because they are desperate for any amount of tax revenue. Yeah. Like, that's the only reason they exist. It does not exist for driver safety in any way. Just go put a fake car out there. Yeah. You guys aren't making

anybody go somewhere. I have stats on the going slower thing. Response to getting a speed trap ticket. Paying closer attention to speed limits. 50%. Always avoiding speed. These people are lying in this survey. This is what they do? Response to speeding.

Paying closer attention to speed limits. 50% of people said that. That can't be true. Hold on. Getting a ticket. Getting a ticket makes them do this action. 50% of people said they pay closer attention to speed limits. After receiving a ticket.

There's no way that's true. Because there's still constantly tickets. Or they have to ramp it up now. When's the last time you got a speeding ticket? A couple years ago. I think it's been at least like... It's always that street right down the hill from me that looks like the Autobahn. Yeah.

The speed limit's like 30 on it. I got a speeding ticket coming back from Vegas. Was the guy hiding? He must have been. But he said he followed me for a while. Why don't they hide in the... Go down into Skid Row and hide inside one of the bums' tents.

Because those guys don't have any money to pay the ticket. They have to bilk us. Fucking assholes. Also, that drive back from Vegas, it's just two lanes, one going one way, one going the other way. I'm like, I don't know. I was dicking around on my phone, weaving off the road.

It doesn't matter. There's nothing that can happen anybody. Yeah, it's just a fucking trap Just a money tree always park at they always park where you could be going a million miles an hour It would not matter. Yeah, there's no one around for miles They do it on purpose to the middle after hills They're always parked out like when there's any of those highway overpass things, they hide on the other side of that shit. Increased use of navigation apps for speed limit alerts. I don't... What the hell is that?

Different cars should have different speed limits that you're allowed to drive. Which... Like what? Like if you have a really... Like a nice car? Yeah. You should be able to go really fast? Or maybe you should be able to pass a test that lets you speed.

Lets you speed? And drink and drive. Well, like... You should be able to grow your skill set every year. Let's be real. I, by the definition, should be a very dangerous driver, because I just spend the entire time... You're a woman. ...tweeting and fucking around on my phone the whole time I'm on the road.

You do? I look at my phone the whole time I'm driving. How many wrecks have you been in? None. Not a single one. Every year you go without a wreck, you should be able to get like two miles an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You should get something. They should pull you over and they should go, oh, you're one of these plus 12s. All right. Yeah. All right, well. You should be able to roll a saving throw based on your record. You get to roll one D20 and then we'll add that to the speed limit and if you're under that, natural one.

Then we have to pay you. Two in five Americans preferred a... This was surprising. Two in five Americans, although maybe not. Two in five Americans preferred a speeding fine system based on an income percentage rather than a flat rate.

So for. Well, they do that. They do that in other countries. That's nuts. Yeah. Well, like some billionaire got pulled over and then the fine ended up being like one hundred thousand dollars for speeding. I love the things where people think that they're going to have to pay less by making

other people pay. No, you're just going to make other people pay more. Oh, yeah. I like that. Income based. OK, well, your income is where we're starting. Right. Oh, wait.

We're just going to fuck rich people more. Yeah, I don't like that then. That's too bad. Actually, we're going to raise everyone's, too. We round it up. Let's see. Over 30% of Americans have been caught in a speed trap. Delaware, Maryland, and Tennessee are the most speed trapped.

I think the biggest problem is the... I think there's laws on the books where, like... Or at least they try to pull it on people where, you know, like... Some guys will stand out there and be, like, speed-trap ahead or flash their lights. Oh, they can't do that? Sometimes cops have, like... Wait, they have to do it for, like, a DUI checkpoint. They have to say, hey, you can turn around.

Do they have to say that? Yes, they have to give you... They have to tell you that there's a DUI checkpoint ahead. So you have time to drunkenly drive elsewhere. That's interesting. But once you get up there, I remember one time there was a DUI checkpoint. It's not that I was drunk, but I didn't have my driver's license on me for some reason. So I just had to whip through a parking lot to get away from it.

Which looks way suspicious, but whatever. Yeah. They should have to do that. for some reason. So I just had to whip through a parking lot to get away from it. But I guess you can just... Which looks way suspicious, but whatever. Yeah. They should have to do that. You ever get pulled over by a cop because he thinks you're a black guy? No. Did you have blackface on or something? No.

I just assumed this was what happened. I used to drive this really shitty 95 Honda Civic, and a cop was just riding my ass. And I was like, what the fuck? And so I pulled into a... I was finally like, this guy was just riding my ass and I was like what the fuck and so I pulled into a I was finally like this guy's just on my ass and I just pulled into like a church parking lot

for some reason and he immediately whipped in after me and like turned on his lights I'm like I have no idea what he did and he like walks up to me and he goes

nevermind and then he left I'm like what who did you think it was did you think it was a black guy I think you thought it was a black guy why would he think

it was a black guy why'd he pull me over just to go nevermind probably an amber alert oh it was? Did you think it was a black guy? I think you thought it was a black guy. Why would he think it was a black guy? Why'd he pull me over? Just to go, never mind? Probably an Amber Alert. Oh, it was an Amber Alert. I didn't read that Amber Alert. No, no, no, it was an Ebony Alert. Did you see the Ebony Alerts are finally taking off?

I saw one. We were on top of that. I haven't got one on my phone. We announced the Ebony Alerts on this show before anybody else. I'm like, oh, we should have. 30% of Americans continue speeding even after being penis allies for it Wow, that's a lot. Well, we should we smug fucking cop. There should be a test I think I would pass the test

I don't like driving in with anxiety because I'm still doing the speeding and I have to like do these complicated like out thinking Myself of knowing how fast I'm going and rationalizing the ticket. Like, well, I got one ticket three years ago. So amortizing that out, you know, over three years is 10 cents a mile. Also, why does it take so long for the cop to run your fucking plates and shit? Because they don't know how to use a computer. It's retarded. I got pulled over because I had like a broken taillight. Yeah.

And all they got to do is go, you know, give me a fix-it ticket, which is great, whatever. Yeah. But it took them like an hour to give me a fix-it ticket, where I'm just like sitting there, and I'm like, what are you looking for? What do you think is going to happen here? They should deduct that time off the ticket. Yeah, off the ticket. I should go, okay, well, that was $15 an hour for making me sit here.

$15? $15 for a dollar a minute. Minimum wage, $20. Yeah. All right, it's $80 ticket. I had to get out of the part of the algorithm that just shows videos of people being hassled by cops, because, man, you can just watch that forever. Yeah. All right, it's $80 ticket. I had to get out of the part of the algorithm that just shows videos of people being hassled by cops, because, man, you can just watch that forever. Yeah.

People just sitting in their car eating Taco Bell, and the cop goes, uh, is there a reason you're parked here? Yeah, I'm eating Taco Bell. Okay. Where are you coming from? I don't feel like I need to answer that. Why are you being so hostile? And you're like, oh, my God, just let them make me a fucking taco.

See that cop who shot that kid for eating McDonald's? I did, yeah. And the kid tried to pull away because the cop pulled his gun. Thinking the kid stole the car. That was crazy. Speed traps. Less interaction with cops. Man, just let us drive 100 million miles an hour.

When the bodies start stacking up on the road, then you guys can think about putting a fake dummy car out there or like a sign that says, slow down, cop ahead, and don't put a cop ahead. I think all these laws come from those stupid Mothers Against Drunk Driving groups. Yeah, it's their fault. It is. Not the drunk driver. No, it's the mothers.

It's the goddamn mothers. If your kid wasn't hanging out in the street where everybody's having fun drunk driving, then we'd have no problem. Yeah, that's true. No one's ever been drunk drive killed in their house, have they? Well, maybe a couple people. Yeah, maybe a couple. But those people shouldn't have been playing that close to the window.

Play in the middle of the living room. You don't got to be near the front of the house. Just put those, like, what are they called? The rails. The poles. That you put out in front. The cement barriers. Stop the tank.

Bullards. Bullards. Okay, there you go. Dick, my problem is trying to fix something, but just making it worse. You ever had that problem? Every day. Every day. Right now I'm preparing, of course, I'm testing all these

various video game consoles for Vito's Wheel of Consoles. Might not be a wheel, though. It might be a Pachinko type system. We're going to see exactly see exactly okay fixing already I see well I'm not making any more money from super killers I'm gonna pivot hard to something else

is there gonna be a super killer 2 or do we have to wait till Deadpool 4 comes out to see what it's gonna be about I'm gonna just blow my head off uh anyway as I'm testing these consoles sometimes hey kids you like Deadpool and Wolverine we're not talking about it anymore alright I shouldn't have brought it up I'll be testing them and they'll have little I'm testing these consoles sometimes. Hey, kids, you like Deadpool and Wolverine? We're not talking about it anymore. All right. I shouldn't have brought it up.

I'll be testing them, and they'll have little problems, right? Yeah. Some of them are easy fixes. Yeah. A lot of these old consoles, the door to open the disc tray is not staying in place. You just got to open it up, wipe it clean, or whatever. A lot of the old controllers have gunk on them. Gunk on the PCB boards that builds up. You've got to take the isopropyl alcohol.

But then sometimes I go to fix a thing and I go, oh, this will be easy. And I had a Wii that was not reading disks. I don't know. I'll just pop it open, see what the problem is, and I'll take these little... And I bought this little kit, this little fix-it kit to fix stuff. It's got all these little screwdrivers. That's the first sign

that you should give up, is when you have to buy tools to do it. Well, there's a lot of different screw-type things there. Yeah. And I go, all right, let me just remove this wire here. And I ripped the entire assembly of the Wii disc drive off. And I go, oh, that's not something I can fix. Fuck. And I feel like oh, that's not something I can fix. Fuck. And I feel like this has happened numerous times.

Man, I was having, like, panic attacks. My control key, what is this key? The command key on the Mac, which is like the alt key on the PC. So you use it all the time, right? Right. Like, for everything, you're using this key. And mine just popped off. The key top mine just popped off the key the key top flap just popped off and it wouldn't go back on so i was having to like just rest my thumb on it

to make it stay there yeah i said all right i'm just gonna buy a replacement key i'm just gonna buy a key off amazon should be easy should be easy everyone. No big deal. And I ordered it and I'm sitting there for like two days going like, oh god. I'm just imagining how I'm gonna pull it up, put it on, something's gonna crack, I'll have cracked a worst part, and then I'll try to take it apart, I'm gonna crack

something else out. From a lifetime of fixing things and making it worse. Maybe this is a male impulse where you go, well, there must just be something caught in there that I could fix or something. Yeah. Or like you go, the problem now is like before you would go, well, I have no fucking idea how to fix this.

But now there's all these like internet guides that tell you, oh, it's so easy. You just do this and you go, all right, let's give it a shot. Like, again, another video game thing. I had a PlayStation 3, and this was the nice ones that were backwards compatible, you know, worth money. This was years ago. And it would stop reading disks.

And I said, well, the problem is, you know, there's solder on the chip, and the solder dries out. Get a solder wick, no problem. Well, or not solder. What do you call it? Grease. No, the stuff you'd put a computer chip with. Thermal paste.

The thermal paste. People love laying that on real thick. They go, you just need to re- Like they're battering a cake. Oh, yeah. I'll get some thermal paste on this shit. Right. And they say, well, you don't even need to disassemble the whole thing.

All you need to do is just put it in a box, get a heat gun, and then just kind of heat it up, and that'll reflow the thermal paste. And I said, okay, hey, you know, this guy says online. So I put it in a box, and I put the heat gun at the top of the box, and I put a blanket over it so the heat's trapped in there, and I ran it for like five minutes, and then I pulled a melted PlayStation out, and I went, I think that heat gun was a lot hotter

than literally the entire outer part of the console just melted and warped. I'm like, that's not what that's supposed to look like. And I plugged it in and it did not work at all. So this is something I've experienced many times over my life. My friend spilled coffee on his laptop

one time. I'm like, oh, you gotta put it in the sun. Put it in the sun to dry it out Yeah to dry it out And then he got it like four hours later And all the keys had like warped Fused together and warped in the sun It's like oh shit I don't even know how that happened I have one time

Got water on my cell phone and I put it in the rice And I don't know if that helped but it did work You know that trick So that worked? I think it did work I could be wrong I might just be superstitious But it seemed to dry it out It works Yeah it works

So that's the thing Occasionally these fun quick fixes You find online They're great Trash it 99% of the Well yeah now I don't know You know it sucks

It's weird when you have a thing That's broken And you're like Well what should I do Should I sell it for parts Like I have a PS2 right now And the laser's broken And I asked a guy I'm like well should I fix it He's like the cost of fixing laser's broken. I asked a guy, I'm like, well, should I fix

it? He's like, the cost of fixing it is like the cost of getting another one. And I'm like, oh. But it still boots up. It still, like, almost works. It feels weird throwing it, just tossing this stuff out. I had a hard drive a long, long time ago. Like, 15 years ago.

Yeah. And it went, the motor went dead on it. It went dead on it. It had stuff on it. So my friend, who was in data storage, said, oh, yeah, you can just swap the plates on the hard drive. In like a clean room. So that's what he said. So he's like, yeah, you need a clean room,

and here's what you do. Just go in your bathroom. Turn on the heat. Turn on the steam. Turn on the steam, yeah. And that'll take care of it. So I'm okay so i did that steam was going and i waited like forever right he's like yeah yeah it'll take a while for the steam okay and when i did it when i was waiting for the steam to go away i'm like this is not this is stupid i know this is a bad idea yeah i should

have just done it without this dumb clean room shit and just crossed my fingers. Did it work at all? Well, I went in there and I started taking it apart. And then it was fine in the room. And as soon as I pulled the thing off, all the hard drive plates just instantly wet and steam. Right.

What are you? Of course. Well, I couldn't even see the steam anymore. Are they supposed to get steamed up? I just gave up. Yeah. Trash. That's it.

The problem with those hard drives is the data recovery centers want like five grand to recover your data. I have some old drives that I'm always like, well, maybe someday data recovery will be cheaper, and I'll just have them send them in. Send it to Kiwi Farm. Say there's pornography on it. They would probably have a lot of, yeah, hey, if you could find what's on Vito's old hard drive.

Here's some child pornography that was on my hard drive. I mean, not mine, I mean Vito's. I did have a hard drive. I finally found a way to get it running again. I was excited to see what was on there. It was just pornography. I thought there'd be something good on here.

Save your pornography. It just causes problems. I know. There's probably no reason to save the pornography. And I went, ah, I thought there'd be something good on here. Save your pornography. It just causes problems. I know. There's probably no reason to save the pornography. That was for everybody. No, there is no reason. I know there's no reason. But, like, what if a video gets deleted? You thinking about pornography now?

Well, I'm just saying, you know, sometimes, like, a video, you like it, and then it gets deleted on the site, and you can't watch it anymore. And you're like, ah, that was a good one. I guess some people don't consume the same pornography multiple times, right? And a lot of people just want the fresh, the new. No, I don't think so. Well, people go back to the same. It's never going away. No, but some of that stuff disappears.

You can't find it anymore. Like what? Stuff that's illegal? No, like, yeah, well, not illegal. Like, what do you call it? Like the stuff where it'll be like somebody who's not like a porn star, like the real stuff, you know? Revenge porn? Oh, maybe.

Not exactly. But like, no, like, you know, just a girl who goes like, hey, what if I uploaded these videos? And then she gets older and she goes, oh, my God. Why the fuck did I upload that shit? Oh, my God. I'm going to be, you know, my career is going to be ruined. You have this whole fantasy about it that you need about the origins of the pornography.

I know that that's why sometimes some of that stuff goes missing. Oh, I really hate it. Move on from porn and they go, oh, I don't want to make porn anymore. I gotta take all that stuff down. Yeah, yeah. And then you gotta have it so you can send her a message in the middle of the night and go, I still have that shit, you bitch, and I'll fucking destroy you if you

don't make more of it. No. Anyway. Okay. Trying to fix things and making it worse. You know, you ever had like a girl send you naked videos of herself and you didn't save them and now you can never see them again. No, I don't really like that. Yeah. Yeah.

I should have saved that. That chick was hot. No, no, no. Anyway. All right, Dick, what's your last problem uh metaphor hijacking metaphor hijacking so the the x-men 97 cartoon came out yes it was cool i watched it it's dead pooling it no oh good um but then magneteto's in it Magneto's in it too much I think Well Charles Xavier's dead right

Yeah I mean it's still So why's Morph in it Morph's dead Yeah but Morph was in it Before this one But he died He died in the first episode But then he came back

In like season two I thought I don't think so This is the first Return of Morph I don't think that's correct Yeah cause he's not even He's like A silver Non-binary thing now oh he used to be a guy right good well it's a shapeshifter

yeah he's a man i'm gonna argue uh wolverine is not best pals with a woman or a not a man okay i'm gonna argue that anyone who is a shapeshifter would probably just end up being non-binary. Why would you be like, but really, I'm a guy. It's like, yeah, but you can be a hot chick whenever you want. Yeah, but you know, I'm really a guy. Yeah, that's what a guy would think. Exactly what you're describing. If a woman was a shapeshifter, she would just never change shape.

Just be an annoying blue bitch all the time. I'd be a big wolf, and I'd do things to women. And then Yellow Flash would call me a dog fucker. That's a dog fucker then, I guess. So Magneto's on trial, whatever. You know how X-Men, 90s X-Men were. Yeah. Very heavy-handed.

They're blanks with powers. Yeah. And then I go online, and it's, can you believe that every minority has ever heard a message like this? And the MAGA people don't even get that they're talking about them. I saw a thing that was like, do they understand that this is the January 6th trial? Yeah. Right here. And I was like, I don't know if they're making a joke or if they're serious or not.

Because that's a Holocaust survivor that shoots magnets. Just like January 6th. Yeah, that's got nothing to do with it. Maybe the concept of oppression. It's a direct corollary. It's not a metaphor. These guys are shooting laser beams and stuff. That's not Baked Alaska, is it?

It's shooting laser beams. It could be Baked Alaska. They should have had a bunch. Do a bunch of mutants storm the Capitol and take it over? No. That would be cool. They should have had a bunch, do a bunch of mutants storm the Capitol and like take it over. That would be cool. No, they don't. Humans do.

And then they, they read, you know, you know, it's like normal X-Men. There's a guy named Kyle Ritten Morphin go across state lines

to shoot a mutant. Yeah, there's a duplicate, a guy who can molest many children at the same time. I'm going to say I do wish X-Men was just like way more blatant with this shit. You know, it's just like, yeah, this guy, he went across state lines to shoot mutants. Can you believe it?

There was an anti-mutant protest. If they wanted it to be a metaphor of J6, they would say that. Yeah. Because none of these people are subtle at all about any of it. That's true. It's just a guy. They wouldn't be able to resist doing that. No. Because none of these people are subtle at all about any of it. That's true. It's just a guy. They wouldn't be able to resist doing that. No.

It's a guy who does magnets. That's what's happening here. Right. It's got nothing to do with January 6th. It's got nothing to do with your dads. I don't know. It's got nothing to do with anything except laser beams. So you're saying liberals aren't hiding messages in our media.

Yeah. Okay. Correct. So Sweet Baby is not a problem. They just make them black and gay and lame. They're not hiding it. So it's not hidden. It's not an allegory.

You'd see it. They just change lines in the game that say, how about women in a position of power? Yeah. That's why everyone hates it, because it's not good at all. Sure. I haven't seen X-Men 97. It's way more unrealistic than a magnet man being on trial for doing a genocide. Because he was in the Holocaust. That's realistic.

Right. No metaphor. Sweet Baby Inc. Black lesbians and everything. I see a lot of people complaining. You see they were talking about making Professor X and Magneto black now. With Giancarlo Exposito. In the movie? Giancarlo Exposito. In the movie?

Giancarlo Exposito. Yeah, in the movie universe. They're like, hey, what if they were black guys? It could be Denzel Washington and Giancarlo Esposito. And Bill Cosby. And Bill Cosby could be there too. Well, Bill Cosby is Magneto. Now that's an idea.

That's a villain. Shoo-ba-doo-wa-ba-jow. Give me all the mutant women. He can knock them out. And then they're like, well, that one doesn't work because they have to be Holocaust survivors. I'm like, man, you can't really do that Holocaust survivor thing much longer. All black people survived the Holocaust, though. How old is the typical Holocaust?

Let's see. So if you were eight years old in World War II, you'd now be about 90. You can't really do that Holocaust survivor thing anymore. That's why it kind of doesn't track anymore. It's the 90s, though. It's like Scrooge McDuck, though, too. He can't have made his money in the Yukon for much longer. No, you really

gotta change up your historical atrocity. Actually, they should be black. It should be a civil rights thing, because now it does kind of the timeline. Civil rights was like, what, like 50s and 60s? At least you get an extra 10, 20 years out of it. So a bunch of Jews are going to make a civil rights hero? I don't know about that.

I just think that if you've got to move it on to some other historical struggle, because you can't do Holocaust anymore, because at a certain point, Magneto's going to be 150 years old. I didn't even know he was a Holocaust survivor until the movie came out and he did that. I don't think he originally. Before that, I was like, oh, I just thought he was like a man. He originally was not a Holocaust survivor, though, because the original X-Men movie, the original X-Men comics were like 1960.

The original one, he caused the Holocaust. No, no, that's not what it was. To get to gold. That was where the gold at. Bryan Singer might have invented that. Really? A child rapist might have invented Magneto as a Holocaust survivor. I get to gold. He's like, where'd gold at? Bryan Singer might have invented that. Really? Famed child rapist. Might have invented Magneto as a Holocaust

writer. I'm not sure. That's who gave Bachman. Stopped, wasn't it? I don't know if that was in the comics or not. But, uh... The metaphor hijacking. Metaphor hijacking. It's like something happens, and like, oh yeah, can you believe it? It's just like that. That's what they're clearly referencing. Just like Trump. They don't even know that we're making fun of them.

Well, it's like all the people who keep trying to say that the original Matrix movies are a trans allegory. And you go, no, they're not. And they go, well, the lady who made them kind of said they are. And it's like, if you actually listen to the, if you actually read the interview, they're like, so when you were making the Matrix, was that a trans allegory? And they're like, it could have been. And you're like, yeah, that's like a bullshit answer in like, no, it was too really.

As a trans allegory, they look exactly like they are. Yeah. It's too. They don't even flip, like, don't even look a little more buff. The only thing that was actually in the original trans, remember that lady who wore like a white coat or whatever? I think her name was Morph. Yeah. Yeah.

So that was originally supposed to be a... Guy? It was supposed to be like a guy in the real world who then became a lady in the Matrix world. Ah, audiences would have hated that. What? It might have been the other way around. What the fuck?

It might have been a lady who became... Where did the lady go? Where's this guy coming from? What? It might have been a lady becoming a man. I don't know. That would have been pretty cool. But...

No. I would have... It would have been interesting. No, it wouldn't have. It would have been a lady becoming a man I don't know. That would have been pretty cool But it would have been interesting It would have been interesting about it You can decide that whatever It's fucking fascinating I'm tits McGee everyone It reflects our internet culture where a bunch of guys

are running around and putting ladies online It would actually tie into that But yeah, all these, all these trans people go, well, of course it's a trans allegory. It's about turning from one thing to another.

I'm like, oh, you mean like every story in the history of fiction where you retarded like a character grows and changes. Exactly.

That's what I'm saying. They go, what an interesting Neo goes from like a nerdy, whatever thing to like a cool, confident trans person or whatever. and you're like no it's just a character going from a position of weakness to a position of confidence

which i understand reflects your trans journey even though i don't think most of you arrive at the position of confidence but hopefully you will one day uh that's every story that's every narrative it's not a specifically trans thing yeah and. And they go, well, I just think you don't understand it, bigot. And you're like, the Matrix's trans argument is the stupidest argument I've ever seen made ever. See, it's good because everyone can identify with it. Not because it's making fun of people that you don't like. It's good because it's like a generalized type of oppression and bigotry that X-Men that they're dealing with. It's very generalized.

Plus everybody. Plus everybody can see themselves in it. We're all the Jews in that situation. Who's the Jews in that situation? The mutants. Magneto? Because he's the bad guy. Well, they're all...

There's good Jews and bad Jews in the X-Men universe. Oh, man. Oh, man. I don't know about that. Unlike the real world where there's only good Jews. In X-Men, you get some of both. Yeah.

Yeah. Metaphor hijacking. Metaphor hijacking, guys. What a great episode. Nature's a good one. That's annoying as fuck. What is? The trans allegory part.

Dude, because, yeah. I go, they're like, no, it was written by two trans women. I'm like, no, it was written by two horny white guys who later became trans women. Okay? What were they doing? What were they doing at the time they made the movie? They're not doing good at all. I had a discussion recently.

You know how we always talk shit about Zack Snyder as a director? I don't. Well, he kind of sucks. He makes 300, though. You saw Rebel Moon, and you did not like it. I hated Rebel Moon. Okay. Only because there was women in it, though.

Or guys like Michael Bay, whatever. There's a lot of directors. Actually, I hated it because I thought it was a Star Wars. Now that I know it's not a Star Wars, I don't know. I've got to take a second look. Now you've got to rethink about it. Well, the new one's coming out. I said, if the Wachowskis were still men, everyone on the internet would-

They were never men. Okay, sure. If they were men. If they were men, everyone on the internet would go never men If they were men Everyone on the internet would go The Wachowskis, what a joke Two white guys who think they know how to make movies What a fucking bunch of idiots

Wait, why? Because their movies suck The original Matrix movies The first one's good The first one was amazing I'm agreeing with you The first one is a fantastic, never replicated movie. The rest of their movies are not nearly as good, and some of them are genuinely terrible.

Okay? Okay. But now, I always see online where it's like, famed trans director Lana Wachowski has something to say about cinema. And I'm like, Lana Wachowski has not made a good movie in like 10, 15 years. She's like a fucking joke of a director. But because she's trans, we all go what a brilliant

auteur. Who doesn't love Jupiter Ascending? Yeah, because you have a big gimme. Like you have a, hey, hey, it doesn't matter if I fucked up. They fucked up the Matrix again. How are you going to argue with a trans director? Oh yeah, I'll fucking tell you

how about this, this. But the trans director, you're like whatever you want. Hey, whatever you want, boss. Put I'll fucking tell you how about this, this, but the translator, you're like, whatever you want. Whatever you want, boss. Put it on, boss. Taking it off, boss. Did you see the Matrix reboot they tried to do? The revolution? Resurrections? It sucked. It's so bad. It was, uh, it was, uh,

And only one of the Wachowskis had anything to do with it. Misogynist. The fat Wachowski stayed out of it. It was very misogynist and woman-hating, I thought. Well. Trinity's with this guy

and then she just leaves her marriage and her kids? It was very weird and bizarre. What the fuck are you talking about? I don't know what was going on there.

You can't have a movie about 40-year-olds. Like I was saying on the Final Fantasy episode. It's got 32 max. Because then people have, they just got too many obligations. Well, that's what we got

out of the skinny Wachowski. The fat Wachowski is working on their own project. What's that about? What it's like to be a woman built like a tank. I don't know. We're going to find out. Queen Latifah picture? I'm just saying.

Was it Larry Wachowski, the one with the big old shoulders? You go, oh, that's tough. I don't fucking know. That's a tough one to pull off. How do you put a dress on that? Good luck. But I'm looking forward to see what they come up with. Hey, if there's whatever size women come in, somebody figured out how to put a dress on it.

That's true. That's true. Guys, don't forget to vote on all the problems. The biggest problem of that show, our problems this episode were... Speed traps. People who carved their name into shit. Metaphor hijacking. And trying to fix something, but just making it worse.

That better win. That's a good one. There's some good problems this week. Good problems, great audience. Okay, I'll play the Null tape for $20. Okay, is there a new Null? Oh, did he send in a thing? Null sent me a voicemail about his hiatus.

I don't know. I mean, we had it falling out. Sure. We've got some exciting voicemails here. Here we go. Get those super chats in now. Hey, Vito. I'm also catching up on the latest biggest problems

and I have to say that your magazine problem is stupid. Or your magazine problem is stupid or your magazine solution or like project so fuck you don't do it I think you're retarded that's it? I'm a Vita File poster fuck you so I know what I'm talking about

one of your biggest fans man telling you that your fucking problem is stupid I'm not actually doing the magazine I've just floated around it as a concept. Everybody's talking about it. That's what Marvel does. Oh, no, Eric Chavez is already doing it. He's already got the magazine.

Okay, here we go. What's up, guys? Biggest problem in the universe, in my opinion, is too small of shorts pockets. We've had cell phones for way too goddamn long. My cell phone just fell out of my pocket and cracked the screen again. Oh!

Whoever the fuck is designing these shorts pockets, kill yourself. Just kill yourself immediately. Yeah, that's for women, man. You might be wearing women's shorts. Just make the pockets longer. They're nowhere near as long as the sleeves of the leg of the, whatever the fuck you call that. You gotta have a breast pocket. All right, that's it.

You can have too big of a pocket, too. Go fuck yourself. Vito, go kill yourself. You can have too big of a pocket where you reach in to get your keys and you find nothing and you have that panic. And then you have to dip and hunch over like you have something stuck up your ass, right? Pocket panic is a good problem. I get a lot of pocket panic.

Oh my God, where's my phone? Yeah, there needs to be something where there's, like, something will remind you if you're, you know, like a sense. I want a GPS device on all of my wallet, my keys, and my phone. Tile does that. Yeah, but I want if they're ever more than a foot away, it starts screaming. You have to have the phone for it to work.

Right. So if you forget everything, you're fucked. Okay, here's one. Dick, stop being so mean to Vito with all these mother's milk things. Thank you. Your Vito's booty bit is so harsh, I can't believe this. Vito comes in every week.

He works hard. He's busting his ass to go along with this weight loss scheme that you've contracted to torture him with. It's not a good weight loss scheme. He's busting his ass to go along with this weight loss scheme that you've contracted to torture him with. He's working very hard on that. And also Vito is always playing along with the bits and is never a fucking wet sponge who just soaks up all this comedy gold that you're giving us. He always plays off you and you're so mean to him.

You're being so mean to Vito. You have to play along a little bit and give him something good this week. Please. I hope Vito doesn't smash the toy because I promise it'll be good this week. Dick will have a change of heart. And while I've got you on the line,

please stop making fun of Crimsel, everybody in the Super Chat. He's working very hard to get a job and and he has this friend, Mr. Abstruse, who is a straight mentor who's helping him out. Straight mentor. Everyone needs a straight mentor. Please don't be mean to Vito. Be nice.

He's trying so hard to entertain you guys, and you just don't respect him. I'm going to go back to my job at the Lego store. He's going to go back to his job at the Lego store. He's going to go back to his job at the Lego store. Thank you. That was a whole character we just encountered there. It's got a backstory and everything. Here's for the guy that left five voicemails. Somebody responded.

That guy was really fired up. Hey, I was just calling to leave a message for that autistic guy from Nebraska who called in with the six voicemails. Oh. I just wanted to tell you to kill yourselves. There's a lot of kill yourselves this week. A lot. All right. The five voicemails guy called in.

Can everybody bring it down a little much? Thank you for not killing yourselves. Hey, Dick and Vito. This is five voicemails guy from the last episode. Hey, five guys. He's called him. The world sucks. He had a long day ahead of him at the pedophile.

And his fucking voicemail cuts off. Why do you call in when you know you're going through a dead zone, you jackass? Yeah, I know it's all over. Hey, the other thing is, I still maintain the fact that Vic, Vito is not Maddox. He's not retarded enough. He's not dumb enough.

Keep laying into him and punishing him with these dumb excuses for keep giving him mother's milk and stuff like that. Thank you. You can see it's, I don't know, he's not happy about it. He's not losing weight. And there's more strife between you two. Not good chemistry, I guess you could say. I agree.

It's a terrible thing. You guys really need to dial it back. Thank you. Go the other direction and I think everyone would agree with me that a better chemistry is just

I don't know the show's better when Dick's really nice to me and gives me things yeah yeah yeah let's start a poll a guest in studio you clearly have

a different energy because it feels like friends hanging out cracking a bunch of quick-witted jokes and all that stuff. He's saying what people like about the show is friendship and camaraderie. Nobody wants to see us fight, which I think is clearly incorrect. He left another.

He couldn't get it all out of that fucking voicemail. That was a minute 36. Hey, it's just five voicemails. All right, minute 36. Hey, this is my voicemail guy. This is the last voicemail I'm going to leave. Sorry, it's not five. But, yeah, hey, Dick, I just wanted to let you know that the more you talk about politics and DEI shit and just fight with Vito about his team guy shit, point of finger, just think about Maddox on the old show when he talked about HOAs

because that's what it fucking sounds like. Wow. I don't know if other people agree with me, but that's the vibe. Wow. It's just very uncomfortable and a lot of retardation coming from all sides. So you're the Maddox of DEI. I haven't heard that for eight years. Congratulations.

Okay, this is somebody with something with DEI. Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito. So on the DEI initiative thing, a new Valorant agent just got released, and they're non-binary. So I don't know if you want to check that out or not. Oh, a new non-binary character.

A lot of those shooting games they keep putting trans gay characters in. So people can kill them? I don't know. Not so people can play as them. Is it like Smear the Queer? Like somebody's the trans on and then... Are you allowed to say Smear the Queer?

That was the name of the game. I didn't realize that was called Smear the Queer. We didn't call that where I was from. We would have gotten in trouble. No, basically my town is the gay bar of America. Amherst, Massachusetts. Welcome to America's gay bar. Northampton, Massachusetts is the lesbian bar of America.

You can look it up. Okay. Northampton, Massachusetts has a higher ratio of lesbians per capita than any other town in America. What do they look like? More than ASU? Yeah. Wow.

Because it's where Smith College is. Okay. All women's college full of lesbians. All women's college Full of lesbians And I found out The new director of the new Star Wars movie Is a Smith College alum And I went oh we're fucked

So why do you think that happened? Why do you think a Female, a lesbian would be in charge of They care about something though They're not just randomly They care about that lady who made a movie about women in Afghanistan getting their faces burnt off with acid. And they said, can you bring that energy to Star Wars?

Why, I'm asking. Why do you think they would do that? Because they think it's funny. That doesn't make any sense. Because they like pissing you off. Like, all you guys. You keep saying that. Because you guys protest too much.

Like, you put one gay thing in a movie, right? Instead of just going like, ah, cool, one gay thing in a movie, right? Instead of just going, like, ah, cool, like, one gay thing. Everybody, at the time. What's one gay thing? Like, what do they mean? One dick in your face the entire movie? Like, there were protests, I think, when Dharma and Greg premiered. Oh, my God, they're going to normalize gay relationships.

And they did. I can't believe it. And now we're in hell. No, we're not in hell. We're in total hell. We're in total Greg, all right? You have to, at a certain point. We live in hell.

True or false? There's an interesting middle ground but sometimes you guys protest too much Between heaven and hell, yes You guys go, you better not put any gay stuff in my video game and you know what they do when they hear that? They go, I'm going to put twice as much gay stuff Who's they?

Do you think this Gamergate thing is going to result in more or less gay stuff in the video games? That it will cause more or less? Yes. They'll have to pump the brakes for a little bit. No, they're going to crank it to 11. No, no, no. They'll have to stop for a little bit.

They might. They're going to hide it. They're already hiding the name. Like, Sweet Baby will not be in the credits of games anymore. It's called Macho Baby. Macho Baby. Not Big Cock Baby. That's the name of it now.

I don't know why they weren't just doing it under a... I don't know why they weren't being ghost credited anyway. Because they're getting away with it until they got caught. Well. So why are they putting a weirdo... Non-binary? Acid woman in charge of Star Wars? Why?

Because they want to hurt you people because you won't shut the fuck up. That is a stupid... That is a deflection. When they put the black guy in Star Wars and a bunch of guys go, oh, you can't

have a black stormtrooper, that just makes them go, that is genuinely ridiculous. Because you said they were clones. They're not all clones. The clones have died off. You said they were

all clones. They never said all stormtroopers are clones. They all look like fucking Jango Fett. No, those were the clone troopers.

What the fuck is the difference? Some clone troopers. What the fuck is the difference? Some clone troopers, the ones that survived the Clone Wars, then graduated to become stormtroopers, but they still needed more stormtroopers. Yeah, because you knew that the Black Eyes story would be shitty. That's why. I didn't know that.

Yes, you do. Anytime there's any kind of that shit in a movie, you're like, oh boy, here we go. They just made them too goofy. You know what, honestly, even when they're doing the new Ghostbusters now, there's all these weird essays about how Winston got shafted out of the original, which are really weird and racist.

Like the online essays? Yeah. And opportunities like, oh, Winston didn't get what he was due in the original. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? The character was fine. What did you want? Well, I think the idea was it was originally written for Eddie Murphy. Venkman was originally written for Murphy.

No, I thought it was. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. They added Winston. I thought that character was originally written for Eddie Murphy, and when they couldn't get Eddie Murphy, they kind of scaled it back dramatically. No, I think Venkman was. But even then, he's not Eddie Murphy think Venkman was. But even then, he's not Eddie Murphy.

Venkman was going to be a black guy? I think so, yeah. Let me check. A professor in a college? That doesn't make sense. Not for that time. Having sex with a white woman?

Having sex with a white woman? What the hell? I guess they could have made it a black lady. Venkman was originally for Eddie Murphles. Eddie Murphy was Biggie. I wrote it for Eddie Murphy.

No, it says original cast included. I wrote it for Eddie Murphy. It says I wrote it for Eddie Murphy. No, it says original cast included. I wrote it for Eddie Murphy. It says I wrote it for Eddie Murphy. It doesn't say I wrote it for him. The role he wanted Murphy to play was Peter Venkman. Okay, that's what I was looking for. Which Bill Murray took on.

But he did Beverly Hills Cop instead of Ghostbusters. Yeah, so Winston was created for a black guy. But everyone believes what you are saying, that it was scaled down from a black superstar comedian to a black actor. Yeah, no shit they're going to scale it down. How is this racist? I mean, he also shows up later in the film, so it's just like... Scaled down. Yeah, there's not enough room.

At least Patty gets a huge boost in Ghostbusters 2016. She doesn't shut up the whole movie. Who's Patty? The black lady in Ghostbusters 2016. Oh, that started all the censorship shit. Leslie Jones, she starts censorship shit? 2016 she doesn't shut up the whole movie who's patty the black lady in coastbusters 2016 that started all the censorship shit leslie uh no leslie jones she starts censorship shit yeah because she got milo banned because milo was mining zone business true do you know she owed a bunch of people like in la uh when she was like a stand-up comic she was borrowing money from

everyone and then she uh went to new york to do snL And everybody was like Can I get that money back And then she came back to LA And she finally got a cause for it She's like hey I'm back And she really wanted everybody at the comedy store To treat her like hey I'm here She was bumping people at the comedy store And it started becoming a huge problem

Where Leslie Jones would just come in and be like I'm bumping that guy that guy I need to do 20 minutes And finally a bunch of comics had to go Hey hey, first of all, stop bumping everyone. Second of all, you owe me like five grand. She's like, oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, there's something bad. Like, Leslie Jones has a bad reputation in the comedy community.

It's pretty interesting. A WATP covered it. You should watch that episode. Oh, okay. He's doing his live show this weekend. Not the one in Vegas, is it? No, the one in, I forget where. Poughkeepsie? Florida, I think. Oh, okay. He's on his live show this weekend. Not the one in Vegas, is it? No, the one in, I forget where. Poughkeepsie?

Florida, I think. Oh, Florida. He's all over the place. Hi, Vito. This is Fred North at Bobo Booey. You might recognize my voice. Oh, fuck, he figured it out. Because you stole it as your impression.

Oh, you stole their voice. Shut up, you precious little piece of shit. Also, you don't know what litigate means. I don't know what what means. Litigate means he's saying. What did I say litigate for? To see it all the time. To litigate something. To argue about something. Yeah, well, because the idea is we're having a legal argument. It is true.

I have been doing a Baba Booey impression a lot on the show because I was listening to old Howard Stern clips and it very obviously lost my plan. Ripped it off. Yeah, 100%. I cannot even. My Eric July voice now has just become Baba Booey And there's nothing I can do about it It's better

How many dumb voices can you do? I made a comic called Yabra And it's a very good comic Oh yeah, it is a little too close It's 100% just doing Baba Booey That's shady What are you gonna do? And I said

Why don't you say You took that like a champ It's just very addictive No it was a death blow That was a death She said in the trailer That was a death blow And that was the line I wrote

With the Soska sisters Who peed in my mouth Hey Dick and Vito Do you think he's fucking one of them? The Soska sisters? I'm not getting involved in that Why? I don't think he's fucking one of them

Why are you not getting involved though? Who cares? It's funny to say I don't think he's fucking one of them, no. Why are you not getting involved, though? Who cares? It's funny to say. I don't think he's fucking this office. You don't think he's fucking that one that's like giggling about texting him? She's getting teased by her twin for texting at four in the morning. She's looking at him with fuck me eyes. I think it's very funny.

I'm going to play it because you're not participating. I'm going to play this movie. It's not that I'm not participating. You're just so gun shy about it. It's not that I'm not participating. You're just so gun-shy about it. It's not that I'm gun-shy. You're not going to fuck up your marriage. If you guys think that the Soskis... I'm just asking.

I'm just asking you. I don't think Eric Geliath is sleeping with the Soskis. Why? Guys sleep with women. Maybe I'm wrong. It happens all the time. Look at this. Look at this.

Maybe it's moving in that direction. Moving in and out in that direction, you mean. It's moving in a lot of different ways. I don't know, man. I need more convincing evidence. How's that? Like what? A picture of full penetration?

I'm a skeptical guy. I'm a skeptical guy. Sucker. That's what the name for that is. I saw one listener. You need to put that up Oh man I know you don't think this is This will be the new thing a German guy claims us for

Oh fuck you're right Nah you can play two seconds of it You can mute it I can't find it Are you window capture Right click on that Turn it off now right right-click it. What the fuck?

Oh, I went in the wrong one. Yeah, you got to do VLC media player. It's not in VLC, though. What's it open in? That looks like VLC media player. No, it's not. Okay. Well, what media player is that?

I don't know. Windows. Movies and TV. Okay. What's that? It's not VLC. Open it in VLC then. Okay, here's what you want to do. Hold on. Fine. No, no, no.

You're confusing me. Shut up. Let me do it. Drag it into Chrome. Fucking stop. Drag it into Chrome. It's too late. I already did it this way. So we're going to get claimed again? Nah, we might not. Fuck me, man. Can you guys find covers when you make these videos? Uh, ooh! Thank you.

Ooh! Alright, watch this. This is clips from the behind-the-scenes documentary, which was, they were put in the documentary on purpose by someone who's trying to send a message. This is a better shot than anything in the trailer. It's nice and plain. Wait, shit.

Let me turn it down a little bit. You got it at 115%. It was that fucking guy doing the voice. Turn it down like 50%. Jesus Christ, it's so loud. Ivory. Oh, look at that. We got contact in the backfield back here.

Have you ever touched me like that, Vito? I've never touched a man like that in my life. Definitely when I'm on the movie set. I would never touch an intersectional Me Too feminist like that. Someone I'm paying to do my fucking movie, and then I'm going to have to ditch because they can't fucking do anything. I'm going to have to fire them. This is called setting up a lawsuit Vito

Just so you know It's called Creating a hostile work environment Harmony Bam Look at those beams Bam Is this all

Is this all the same sister Or are they swapping out Between Yeah it's the same Sister The one who's into it Sister Sister

The other one just watches If you got a woman Looking at you like that You better fuck her What do you think about that? I think the saskas are Bam! Right in the kisser

Bam! Right in the kisser I just have a close working relationship Bam! Right in the kisser You know all these vows and shit They don't mean anything They don't mean nothing I know

I think Look I'll say this I think there's a situation You know you're in Canada On your text Text You're jacking off Deducted shoot

Yeah You go Hey uh I just turned on the hotel TV It's crazy They got They got pornography on here girl Can you believe that

They got horror movies And pornography You wanna see I know you guys Are into some pornography You wanna come over here Let's talk about it Dirty pornography

I got a new character Smoke smack Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Smoke snack He drives a The white destroyer What And what he does Devastator He takes uh White women Smoke Snack, the white destroyer. What?

And what he does. Devastator. He takes white women and he has his way with them. I was thinking we could role play to try and figure out where this character might go. I think that maybe we could put that character in the Ripazine. Maybe in the Ripazine. Shamlock, the white destroyer. What's going on here?

He's grabbing up. He's got big black arms He used to grab white women up off the street But more than that, he's got those long Fingers that he leaves trailing Look at this, man Look at this, man Oh man, oh man Look at this

Look at this This man said he was going to sue you How much it was going to cost As. How much it was going to cost. As for how much it's going to cost, you know he was talking about you. I know. I know. Right? I'm trying to be the bigger man.

You're the biggest man in the fucking world. I am the biggest man. Don't even fucking worry about it. Look at this. Look at this. Oh, man. Let me get all those. I saw a Saudi robot molest a girl that had less contact than this.

Look at this. He's about to slam dunk her. He's got full contact. Look at that. Does she have a fingerprint palm scanner on that hip, that fleshy hip right there that the white women's got? Oh, mama jama. Sweet mama jama.

The Saska's are what, in their 40s, I would imagine? They're in their fieldies, nuts. They look older. I don't know how old they are. That's their witch's curse. They're actually a 900-year-old vampire. Well, you know, they're past their... Oh!

A woman hits a certain age. She's a strong, financially independent black man. You know, that's a prize right there. What are you talking about? You're making it racist. I'm not making it racist. I'm talking about that pussy. I'm saying that if I was a Saskia sister,

or I understand... Look at how tall Eric looks when he tilts his head back like that. Very tall man. 5'10". 6'5". Maybe that's why you're... 5'10"?

6'5". 5'10"? Yeah. 6'5". You do it. 5'10"? Aw'5". 5'10"? Yeah. 6'5". You do it. 5'10"? Aw! Shooting laser beams.

Maybe that's why he has to hire all the women to make his comics so that when he appears in set photos with them, he looks like a normal height individual. Hey, guys, if you're hiring a woman to make your film, don't touch her like this. Eric should get that leg lengthening surgery. He's got the money for it. Hug him right like this. Right around the top. Close fist. Like this. I'm hugging you, but I'm hitting you. Like this. You never go

like this. This is called an embrace. I don't know. An embrasi, you might call it, Eric. But this is a fucking embrace, man. I think Eric should have taken the money that he spent on the Ira trailer and recommitted to his marriage. Yeah.

And gotten leg lengthening surgery in China. Man, come on. Get those Chinese legs, Eric. Have the final edit. Eric, you carry yourself as a 6'5". Man, why don't you get there? Get the leg lengthening surgery. Okay.

I want to get that leg lengthening surgery. I'm normal height. I just want to be like super tall. Are you going to get the hair stuff? I'm trying. You got too much skin. I thought that, but people say, I don't know. You got to lose weight first, though.

I'm trying a lot of things. This week sucked because I had to finish editing that Ghostbusters video, so I've done nothing other than edit video for a week. And it reminded me how much I hate editing these videos. Why did you decide to get this video out now? Because it's been sitting on my computer for two years. Because the original plan was

I was working on a Ghostbusters 2016 like, okay, back when I cared about YouTube and I thought maybe I could make money on there, even though it's like, I don't know, to do it. The amount of money you make off YouTube is not proportional to the amount of work you put into it, unless you get like big sponsorships and shit. But the ad revenue

sucks. Anyway, my plan was if a new franchise movie comes out, I will do a video essay talking about the previous film in the installment, right? So there was a new Ghostbusters film coming out with kids, and I said, oh, I'll do a Ghostbusters

2016 takedown. You're going to review the one before. The one before. It's been odd. Why? What was the thinking? Just that it would be themed, and people would be searching for Ghostbusters who would pop up in the algorithm. I thought it would be, oh, hey, Ghostbusters, what happened in the last one? It was like a theme.

Anyway, I didn't I basically hired a bunch of editors, and I'm like, well, they can Ghostbusters, what happened to the last one? It was like a theme. Anyway, I didn't I basically hired a bunch of editors and I'm like, well, they can't screw it up too badly so I'll just hire whoever and I'm sure it'll come together. You know what? Everybody did a great job. I'm not even Now that I think about it, everybody

nailed it. Why am I saying these crazy things? Would you hug them like that? They're incredible. Every one of them is a fantastic talent. Let's just say some of them turned in work that I personally felt was not. One of them turned in shit, and it ruined it for everybody. It didn't fit my style. By the amount of time it would have taken to fix it all, I was like, okay, it's not going to get out in time.

I said, well, I'll just save it. You have a hard time running creative people i have i'm seeing i have weird standards that i'm like this just is not what i want so i knew a guy like that yeah well i i know what i think is good and you know i wanted to make it good anyway i went uh i was going to finish it earlier but then they said oh we're making a sequel immediately and i'm like i'll just wait for the sequel and I'll release it then. So there's a new Ghostbusters coming out. So I will have a video essay talking about how the woman Ghostbusters basically ruined the franchise.

I think that's still interesting. Oh, man. We'll see. If not, whatever. They got to redo the cartoon. They redid too. And it was terrible. Well, what's actually interesting, probably the most interesting thing in the video is

all the Sony was trying to make a Ghostbusters cinematic franchise. Sure. But the problem is that... Well, what's that guy? Not Venkman. I always forget his name. The Crystal Skull Vodka guy. Ackroyd.

Ackroyd is nuts. And we know he's nuts. Yeah, he's crazy. And he's not nuts in like a... The original script for Ghostbusters is insane. He's crazy in a schizophrenic way. Yeah, he's like a schizophrenic guy. Yeah.

And his ideas are bad. Yeah. Because originally Sony was like, yeah, make for Ghostbusters is insane. He's crazy in a schizophrenic way. Yeah, he's like a schizophrenic guy. And his ideas are bad. Because originally Sony was like yeah, make a Ghostbusters cinematic universe. What do you guys got? He's like, oh, I got a great idea. It's an animated film about a bunch of ghosts from the future who become Ghostbusters. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck? Stupid. And he's like, I got another idea. It's going to be a TV show about the

Ghostbusters in high school in the 1970s. Yeah. In the 1700s. So they were b about the Ghostbusters in high school in the 1970s. Yeah, like wait 1700 so they were busting ghosts when they were in high school and then like Stopped busting ghosts and they stopped and then met at the same college working as professors and became Ghostbusters again Yeah, that doesn't make a fucking sense hearted dude all these I did all the the cinematic universe They were planning was like the stupidest idea and Sony gave them like like I think they were planning was the stupidest idea. And Sony gave them... I think they still have on the Sony lot, there just is a Ghostbusters building where they just hang out and drink now because there's no Ghostbusters money left.

Ivan Reitman just sits in his thing and he goes, God, I hope this next one makes money because Jesus Christ. There's kids in it. Apparently the new ones... Everyone fucking hates kids. I've heard weird things about the new one. All the critics hate it. Some people are saying, I don't know, man.

It was just kind of like... It's like a movie that doesn't matter. It's like just a big episode of a Ghostbusters TV show. Like a monster of the week kind of thing. I don't want to see kids and shit. Well, yeah. I don't know why it's kids. The guys who love Ghostbusters have kids.

They don't want to go watch more fucking kids in the movies. Yeah. Why is it like... What was cool was it was guys doing their jobs. Yes. We honestly need more movies about just like guys doing a job and doing it pretty well. But we don't need to see it in the treatment. No, we don't need to. No.

All right. We got Super Chats, guys. Get your Super Chats in. Don't forget, vote on all the problems at Biggest Problems. I scrolled to it. And please, I know, and please check out the bonus problem, biggest problem in Final Fantasy over on Patreon. Oh, and thanks to all of our members joining our memberships here on YouTube.

Thank you. Cool for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you. David N. got in before the bell for $50 saying, are you ready, kids? Why don't you save the pirate for a little later? No, you've got two hours of play. No, I will just leave. It comes out when the suit comes out. No, no, no.

I'm putting my foot on the ground on this one. Don't. No. Take away your button. The pirate, you got to give me at least. You're going to mess up the computer. I don't care. All right, all right, all right.

Don't do the fucking pirate yet. Fine. I can't handle it. Okay. Dick's mad I touched this thing. Stop messing with my stuff. I just can't. Give me an hour of like normal. Fine. I can't handle it. Okay. Dick's mad I touched this thing. Stop messing with my stuff. I just can't. Give me an hour of normal or half the Super Chat.

Unless someone else Super Chats 50 bucks. Don't say that. Spider Eternal for five. If Vito ran a restaurant like he does his comic, he'd be on Kitchen Nightmares. Stop being an idiot sandwich and crack the whip, Vito. Man, you have to get that out. You have to get that out. This is what's called a ticking clock. I'm not talking about it. Yes, but if you get it out, you win.

Okay, well, I probably will not win. Mint Salad for 50 says, before you open the booty box, please draw Mother's Milk from memory. So Mint wants me to draw Mother's Milk. All right. Like as a little boy? Like a hentai? Like a Yellow Flash version? No, just like...

Because if someone gives 50 bucks, you'll draw whatever they want. I think I have to draw... Well, yeah, well, that's what this is. It's a drawing challenge. Draw Mother's Milk. I was going to draw the pop figure. I mean, draw... Interpret that however you want.

That's however you want. Can you read the Super Chats while I draw Mother's Milk? No, I'm going to narrate you drawing. Vito started drawing the lips right away, which is a weird... I did not start drawing the lips. Weird decision.

You idiot. They're way... You're going to need... They're way too big. I'm gonna need a artist tools. I think I know this Artist tools, you know, I should have a little like easel An easel. Yeah, like a little you know, do you think that will make the drawing better? It might be I'm Scribbled in enough I think those eyes are scribbled in enough. He's angry. You're going with the angry black man stereotype, I see. I don't remember if he was angry, but he is.

All right, well, hold on. Pop figures famously don't have a mouth for certain reasons. Hasman says, A fat back Vito. Orangutan Vito. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, eat too much banana Vito. I love to be fair Vito. Love y'all and take care. What do you think about that one?

I think that's moronic. Fat back Vito. Orangutan Vito. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, eat too fair, Vito. Love y'all and take care. What do you think about that one? I think that's moronic. It's right back, Vito. Orangutan Vito. Ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh. Ah, ah. Eat each banana, Vito. You're reading it twice now?

Yeah, it's funny. Oh, my God. Vito's cats for two bucks. I'm lost forever. Aw, man. My poor kid. Sending that in from the stomach of a Vietnamese family. Kix Mechanic says uh for five i have

money and i'm not sure what to do with it cocaine is out of the question and hookers are more are more certainly out of the question i give it to you too yeah five bucks isn't gonna go very far except for here um jay thompson says mention yellow flash versus the veto x account has that yellow flash was a purveyor of of Dogfucker, if you're into kid fucking. It seems like both of those things would be bad by your metrics. Just ask him if he likes illustrations of little boys getting fucked or little girls getting fucked more. Right. That's all I want to know.

All this shit about hypocrisy, I don't care about it. Ask him if his comic will take any notes from his good friend who draws children fucking each other. Which is cool. I just want to know which one he likes more. I don't know if it's cool. He has a preference. But you can do whatever you want, I guess. 14, Pat, for...

What was the last illustration of a kid getting fucked did he look at? That he liked. And did he enjoy before he called Vito a pedophile? Yeah. That's what I want to know. Did he watch a little... Did he see an illustration of a little girl getting fucked before he called Vito a pedophile. That's what I want to know. Did he watch a little, did he see an illustration of a little girl getting fucked before he called Vito a pedophile? Or did

he enjoy a drawing of a little boy getting fucked before he called Vito a pedophile? Have any of the 14 year olds in his audience sent him a message to thank him for letting them know where they can watch underage rape anime? Have any of them said, thank you Flash I was going to develop a normal

sexuality and flirt with the girls in my class, but now I have a debilitating addiction to underage anime children because of you. Thank you, Flash, for doing that for your fans. Weirdo. 14 Pat for 100 Kurgan Stans says, hey, guys, I love you. Vito, you're great. Can't wait for Super Killer. You guys should get Shud Logic on this podcast.

Sure. We have not had a guest in a while. I will say we will be having a guest sometime in the near future, and that guest will be Joshua Denny. Oh, yeah. Who has a big stand-up special he will be recording. The name of that stand-up special is Goliath. Cool.

It will be in Los Angeles at a place I've forgotten on a date. April 22nd, I believe. Did you come to that? Yes. They have to be lollies? No. In fact, the lollies may be... Stay at home.

You got a lot to do at home. Tickets are on sale. Yellow Flash is going to be there. He's going to be signing all lolly, hentai drawings. I have somehow been coerced, I guess, into doing stand-up to lead in the show alongside Carl Spitali and maybe some other people. Do you have new material? I got to figure something out. Oh, boy.

Oh, yeah. Doesn't he know you have a comic to work on? Doesn't he know that I'm not a good stand-up? You have to beat marvel i can't you have to stop stop i don't know what to do okay give me the number of your artists we're the we're figuring it out no there is no you have to print it i'm trying to print it i've i've sent him a message it has to to be done. You have to cry. I will unbeg him.

I'm going to come up with some sort of... Everything's great. Look, it's getting done. That's it. You've got to beat Deadpool. It doesn't matter if I beat Deadpool. It's fucked anyway. Anyway, thank you, Fortune Pet. Look, it's going to be my thing.

It's going to be different. Deadpool's going to be, like, well, it is funny as well. You know what? It just is Deadpool and Wolverine, so don't even worry about it. Put it on, you fucking stupid pirate retard. I don't even care anymore.

James Gardner for 20. Yellow Flash and Tug are monster mates. Disciple of Dagon for two. Atrixia on 41% watch after that flurry of dead names. What did I say? Digibro twice? Coup for 5. Digibro is not Trixie's dead name because Digibro is not a name.

It was an online moniker. He's fucking with you. That's the same idiot that ruined the mother's milk. That's my good friend. He's a diaper fetishist. It's a good... I'm glad he did that. Coup for five. Yellow Flash is a huge illustration of minor grills getting head padded. And he spelled minor M-I-N-E-R.

Cool. Coup for two. Yellow Flash. And a bunch of crying. Milo Stinkopolis for two. Israeli drones striked four unarmed men. I saw it. Yeah. That was that in Alex Jones' videos.

JJ for five. Brittany Venti loves Inuyasha. If she ever streams with Yellow Flash or Eric Gillespie, someone should ask her what her favorite couple is. Kufr2 says, no Russian is literally happening right now in Russia. That's what I thought when I saw that video. Did you see that video? I don't know what no Russian means, but I assume it means they're faking like they're

not Russian. It was a, in the Call of Duty video game, there's a mission where you go into a Russian airport and kill everybody to try and cause an international incident. The CIA did it. Yeah. Or Mossad did the same. No, I'm saying in real life. Sure, that's what you're saying. The CIA or Mossad did this.

Well, maybe. Somebody did it. I mean, if they didn't, then they're incompetent. Yeah. What's worse? Well, I'm looking forward to seeing- That they're doing terrorism or that they can't stop it. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

Pineapple Man for two. Shout out to Bag of Schmidt, my friend, good pal. Gut for five. Mr. Abstruse was bragging today. About what? I don't know. Agnostic Uzumaki for two. Vito, I beg you to stop dressing like an eighth grader.

You should be a little more pirate-y. What do you want me to wear? If you're dressing a fluffier shape, perhaps. You want me to wear a fucking gay pirate coat? A gay coat. A petticoat, it's called. Potosai for five. Vito wears a trucker hat as a dog whistle to signal he's a teamster, a.k.a. a team guy.

True. Vito Scott for five says if you tried looking for me more, it would burn a lot of calories. Great guy, Gabe, for 7Canadian. We need an Eric July puppet. Well, maybe we can get one from, uh, what's his name? Ripoffverse. Diamond G for a big $33.

Says, Vito, draw a My Dong masterpiece. It'll be short, so don't cry about it. It's not enough money, though. Yeah, I thought it was $50 to get a dong. Diamond G. I'll get a number 33. You fucked yourself. You sharper. If you put another 17 in the pocket, maybe. Shit lips for 25. I'm working tonight,

so I can't spend the evening shit. Schizo chatting. Here's more money than Maddox made this month. Good reading. He should get a job. I'm normally good at the reading. You don't see schizo and immediately know the word that it is? What did I say? Schizo? Schizo or something. No, I good at the reading. He is. You don't see schizo and immediately know the word that it is? What did I say? Schizo? Schizo or something. No, I said schizo chatting.

Schizo chatting. You had to take a second try. Schizo chatting is not a real word. Those are two words jammed together. Schizo though. Why don't you read them then? Schizo chatting. Okay. You can read all of them. Antagonist for two. Vito, everyone's asking for more cat pics. I'll get on it. Tijuana taxi for ten. Canadian. Vito, don's asking for more cat pics. I'll get on it. Did you want a taxi

for 10 Canadian? Vito, don't let Dick anywhere near your shitty Vice 2 idea. A what taxi? I couldn't handle the 13-page blurbs about Eric July and Maddox

it would devolve into. I can't wait for issue one in April 2035. My magazine's gonna be big. You wanna watch the trailer? If you want to watch the Eric July trailer about the Ripazine, super chat it.

Okay, let us know. We'll watch it. Shedlips for two, July 26th. Koof for two, TikTok, Vito TikTok. Vito's cat for two, can't find any cute tips. Bro, you have to beat Deadpool 3. You have to. This is like an inflection point.

This is a canon event. You have to hit it. Do you hear what a canon event. You have to hit it. Do you hear what I'm saying? You have to get it out before Deadpool 3. Or else the universe is going to be destroyed. For 555, says RPK is based. Gut for two, Vito doing multiverse stuff sucks anyway. Dumb.

Clap tap to destroyer five says I eat poop and I'm a homosexual. LJ Claberino for 2 says Dick Masterson, gay flag, surrender flag, trans, building money. Diamond G for 555, drop super killer before Deadpool

and Wolverine or you lose. Be Deadpool or you lose. Or you forever have beaten Deadpool or you lose. Or you forever have beaten Deadpool. And everyone will compare Deadpool to you. Okay. There's only two options. I am going to speak with my team.

I'm going to say, here is a date I hope we can hit. Let me know what we can do to make that happen. Okay? Sounds like doing your best. You know how you can only control yourself? No, I do not know. That doesn't even occur to me ever.

I will yell at these people. I don't need to yell. Everybody's doing a great job and everything's fine. Losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Everything's going great. Everything's going great. Everything's great.

Sarah Gardner for five. You know the words of the wise Homer Simpson. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try. I agree with that. J-Lo for five. Deadpool three. More like Deadpool two with a little side of beef air.

Nice try. Koo for two. Shout out to the Niggler. I hope you bug Carl in company in Florida. Have fun in Florida. Actank 420 for $20 US dollars. Vito, take Dick's advice on your book for real. It will be the 13th reason why if you released it after Deadpool. Suicide he's talking about.

I am aware of that. They filmed that show outside my apartment. It's a bad o Oof And then I filmed It's a bad omen And then I filmed A little video there Making fun of it Because it's like

The same set Oh did you really Yeah it's pretty It's funny It's pretty cute That's funny I said that I went to High school with the girl

And then her She came back as a ghost And gave me a blowjob We should go to the Where they filmed Yira And just reshoot it Shot for shot I've thought about

That would be It's a death blow It would be pretty funny. They'd get a bunch of hot whores to film that. I think I should do a Super Killer promo there where she's doing her death blow thing and Super Killer just shows up and shoots her in the fucking head. I think I should just get a bunch of hot whores. Jesus Christ.

What the fuck was that bitch saying? Wait, somebody called in and said you should do that. I should just take the Iowa trailer and get someone to green screen in? Yeah. Just shooting her in the head. Yeah. And then him and the girl jumping up and down. But only if you get it out before Deadpool.

Okay. You have to. I've heard your comment. I've heard it. It has been internalized. I've already, I already took steps to make that happen. I'm going to find who the people are that are working for you. Before you brought it up.

You know who they, well, you know one of them. I don't know enough of them. I don't know enough of them. No, I don't. Everybody's doing great. Johnny Rocket says, Message to Vito, so-called artist. You're doing a great job. Keep it up. I agree. Hurry up! LJ Clabarino for two. What should Superkiller crossover with?

A deadline. Doc Fredify for five. I'm Vito Giswaldi and I can't wait to see Deadpool three and three. Shut up. I'm not reading that. Don't see Deadpool. Yolanda Finkleseed for five. Vito, gas stations and stores were required by law to refuse service and segregate. They were never allowed to do what they wanted. Oh. So the government

did that. Oh. Fantastic. Ah, the government's what caused the segregation. Great. Just I have been for five. Well, well, well, well, well. Vito, I won't believe you until I see some actual evidence. Also, Vito, it definitely happened. I heard some anecdotes. Oh, that's a good point.

Wait, what anecdotes? I need evidence of voter fraud. I need more evidence. I need more evidence. I need evidence that Sweet Baby Inc. is doing it. Black people weren't allowed to pump their gas. How do you know? I don't know. Some people said it. But that is evidence. It's evidence if somebody says something happened to pump their gas. How do you know? I don't know. Some people said it. But that is evidence. It's evidence if somebody says something happened to them.

So then what about election fraud? Okay, if somebody says- A lot of them. What did they say? They said they fucking saw votes being stolen, being brought in, machines being fucked with- Okay, that's evidence. Late dates being- Sure.

Oh, okay. That should be looked into. Well. Should be investigated. Is it evidence or not? Yeah. Okay, so you do admit that the election was stolen. No, I said there's evidence that you can look at.

Were black people not allowed to pump gas? There can be evidence in a course case, and it doesn't, you know, prove it. You know, it's still up to a jury to determine the weight and the preponderance of the evidence. What about you, though? I don't believe that I've shown any conclusive evidence. What about the black gas stuff, though? I've heard more understandable. It's also, again, a thing where what is the incentive to lie is less.

For what? For whom? I think there's less incentive years after civil rights shit was passed to go, here's what was going on at the time. There's less incentive now for black people to talk about how they were. You know what? You're right. There was never any racism in this country. It was all made up so black people could get a payday.

Not for pumping gas. There was. I mean, you know, it happened. Whatever. You're right. I don't have first party gas receipts from the no blacks allowed gas station of fucking Louisiana.

Hey, can I get some gas? No. Well, yeah. I think yes. I'm sure. I think there was discrimination. I think we know. The fact that discrimination was codified into the law tells us that there was probably discrimination that also existed independent of the law.

I don't know about that, actually. The only discrimination that existed was independent of the law. Okay? I don't know about that, actually. The only discrimination that existed was because of the government. It didn't exist anywhere prior. Not as much. Not as much. No, not as much. The government really ramps it up.

Sounds great. Coup for five. Thank you, Vito, for not killing yourself over Deadpool 3. Maybe the next super killer issue you can kill Deadpool. Yeah. Yeah. Dick Paninski issue you can kill Deadpool. Yeah. Dick Peninsky for 5.45. R.I.P. comic.

Make sure all the super killer merch orders get done. All the plush toys are almost done. Aklovich for 5. Buy a ticket for Deadpool 3 every week. My comic is late. I'm Vito and I endorse this ad. This message is brought to you by the Team Guy Society. We're going to have to review Deadpool 3, you know. And your comic will either be out

or it'll be dead. Does it have to be out in print? It has to be in people's hands. The printing is a time suck. I think we put out the digital earlier. Okay, that's okay. That might be what happens.

Yeah, that's okay. It depends on the printer, really, because a lot of printers... No, if they have a digital copy, that's fine. If they have the file in their hand or the backers... If it's in their inbox at 11.59, the day before Deadpool comes out, even though the Thursday night thing's already through, you win. Okay. That's honestly a lot easier to hit, because a lot of the holdup will be... Here you win. Okay. That's honestly a lot easier to hit because a lot of the holdup will be the printing and

fulfillment and whatever else. I'm not taking the stakes out of it. I'm just saying, you know, based on what I know of printers, it can take like two months to get a thing. So what's the day that you have to have it in people's emails? Day before? Yeah, what's that day? July 26th.

Okay. At 1159? At 1159. Can we not gamify this? It doesn't have to be a game. What universe are you in? The one that's going to get blown apart when I don't get the comic out to people on July 26th. What do you think's happening?

Have you not seen this movie? What is the deal? Dick, can we not gamify this? Vito, you're talking to a man who's wearing a pirate coat right now. I don't even know how to. I don't think you understand what's happening. You make a very good point. Koof of Arrive says,

People carved their names onto tourist sites in Japan. Now they're banning tourists from those sites. Very good problem. Good. Thank you. GYH for 10 Canadian. Vito, I give you $800. Could I at least get your comic before Deadpool 3 comes out?

Yes. Vito guarantees that you will get your comic before Deadpool 3 comes out. Please don't clip that. This is a guarantee of Vito on behalf of all the fans. I got a big plan. I got a big plan. Everything's coming together. Vito respects the investment you made in him with your money and he

will guarantee you to give you your comic. Very much. And I think there's going to be other stuff we're doing too. So I think everybody's going to have a real good time. But most importantly the comic is coming out and you guarantee it. Well, you know. It's just one of those. Lemon Trash E for two.

Funny replies of Marvel fans who hate the idea. Great. Well, now they're at least poisoning the well. Utah-based Armenian for two. Vito's cat ran away and sold his idea to Marvel. Yeah. Great. Jacob for five.

As much as they shit on Eric, at least he can release comics on time. Because he doesn't write or draw them. He's not doing anything. He's just paying other people to do it. Yeah, but he can't also. He said Yair would be out in 2023. Yeah, he's having

the exact same problem. They spent too much time fucking one of the Saska sisters to get it out in time. I mean, I could also pay Brazilians to make me a comic in like three months.

I just think it would suck. I mean, I could do that if that's what people want. Crimson for five. I'm still in unemployed need. I'm booking a trip to Greenland. It's over for me and I've given up. I literally can't stand this anymore.

I'm a failure. Thanks, Crimsel. Mega Man for five. Oh, Crimsel, you said that? That's nuts. You're going to be great. Mega Man for five. Hey, chat, should I carve the N-word in the wailing wall or the MLK Jr. Memorial?

Please don't. Dog, Fred of five or two, what did you buy? Okay, if you have to.K, if you have to. Sure, if you have to. What do you think? I don't have an opinion. Dog Fredify for two, what did you buy after your dump? I don't know what that means.

What did you buy at the store after you took a shit on that guy's graffiti? Oh, like some linguine. Linguine? Yeah. What's your favorite pasta shape? The bow ties? Really? Or macaroni and cheese.

What kind of pasta do you make? Like, I don't know, Kraft? Elbows? I'm saying, you never, like, cook pasta in your house? Spaghetti is my favorite shape. Spaghetti is your favorite shape of pasta? A pasta, yeah, a line. Yeah, that's fine.

Nothing gay about that. If you had any other pasta shape, you could touch it with your tongue in a weird way and it feels like a penis. Spaghetti feels weird. Spaghetti I sometimes like, but I just prefer the linguine. The flat noodle I enjoy. Oh, that's what linguine is? It's like spaghetti, but it's like... It feels like a

frenulum, though, on occasion. It's not as thick as fettuccine. Fettuccine is a little too thick for me. Linguine is like a middle point between spaghetti and fettuccine. Oh, okay. I a little too thick for me. Linguini is like a middle point between spaghetti and fettuccine. Oh, okay. I couldn't make that with a little olive oil, a little garlic. Put some prawns in there. Okay.

Little red pepper flake, little lemon. Terry Hesticles for two. Buy the shirt. Crimsel. Mega Man for two. Oh, yeah. Buy the suicide shirt. Mega Man for two says N.

Dog Fredify for 50 says draw Deadpool. And James Gartner for another 50 says draw Yira or Riley. You could draw all of them on the same one. Dog Fredify says draw Deadpool killing super killers. Jesus Christ, guys. Can you do this? Draw Deadpool. Okay.

Draw Deadpool. And then you have to draw Riley. I have to do this without any reference? How do you need a fucking reference? You said you were an artist. An artist looks at reference material. An artist doesn't just draw Deadpool from memory. You could give it a shot.

I can give it a shot. How the fuck can you not know Deadpool? I mean, I kind of remember what he looks like. He's like Spider-Man with a belt. And a little, like, condom reservoir in the back of his head. Yeah, they don't always draw that. And an X on his face.

I'll try to draw Deadpool. And katanas. Like a Deadpool killing super killer, Dog Friendly says. The same guy. Well, I'm not drawing two people because that would take too much time. Oh, you need a hundred bucks. One figure, fifty bucks. James Gardner says for fifty, draw Yira or Riley. No, you need $100. $100 for one figure, $50. James Gardner says, for $50, draw Yira or Riley.

No, you have to pick. I should have a pencil for this. Cost extra. Diamond G for $222, Supper Killer and Deadpool Scissoring. Rex Sexton for $5. I rode a bus a few times where you can look down in other people's cars. And FYI, about 80% of people are watching Netflix as they barrel down the road. MegaMan for two.

I love Google Maps. Lets you report speed traps. Yeah, me too. I love that too. Andrew Amy for ten. The problem from last week reminded me of this guy I knew who was a bot that scalps camping spots for him. Who has a bot. He built a bot.

So that he never encounters Mr. Masterson's problems. What a fucking asshole. Dayman for two. I feel for you, Vito, but you gotta get Superkiller out, buddy. You hear that? You hear the desperation in his voice? He says that.

Shut up. I get it. It's pretty good until you got to the, like, anatomy. Normally I have a pencil and I can like you know plan shit out Cause you make so many mistakes as an artist Cause I don't know I'm not Why the fuck What the fuck arm looks like that that you're drawing

What are you talking about Well he's got a bottom shoulder too That's just the arm muscle man What How do you let me at least kind of finish it? Where is that muscle in my arm?

Jade, Jad Dragon for two. They should have, they should have a drunk driver's license test. I know. You're preaching to the choir, buddy. Elon Bust for two.

I'm sorry your super killer plot is super fucked now. Great. Sam Welter for 2832. Love the show, boys. Keep the problems and laughs coming. Vito, wear pink again. The pig jokes were hilarious. No, I'm never wearing pink again on this show.

Did you think the pig jokes were hilarious? I just figured, yeah, the pig jokes were great. I mean, really, everybody... What did you think would happen? I just thought that I would wear pink and I'd be cute. I was like a little easily matched. I wish you would be cute for a bunch of guys.

Just like as a cute little bit and it's all Toriyama themed or whatever the fuck. Plumbo for five. It's strange that you care about carving names into stuff. I'm going to carve my name into something just because now. Yeah, just because now. Nice punctuation, idiot. Euthanasia enthusiasts for seven. First your cat divorced you, now the comic.

Trials and tribulations, my M-word. Say strong. That poor cat. Cy Chris for two. Maddox for Magneto, Armenian genocide survivor. Yeah, that'd be funny. He can control hot sauce, right? Yeah.

That would be a Maddox Magneto. I can control hot sauce and diarrhea instead of electromagnetism. Maddox is a comedy mastermind. Diarrhea, hot sauce, diarrhea, beef jerky, lumberjack, Chuck Norris. Maybe Magneto kidnapped Elizabeth Strange or whatever. Smart. Smart, yeah. Dog friendly.

20 bucks for the null tape. Okay. Dog friendly. 20 bucks for the null tape. Okay. All right. Well, maybe when Vito's done with his goofy anatomy drawing over here, I think that satisfies the drawing requirements of drawing Deadpool. I'm almost done. You're just into it. He's got a utility belt of toilet paper.

His wiener is way too long, stretched out. This is way slimmer. Alright, this is not the worst. Alright, alright. Take a break so we can listen to this null tape. Hold on. Can I show it? I think it's done, right? I mean, I wouldn't if I were you. There. There's my expert dead...

You want to hold it up? There's a Deadpool. It's not the worst. It's not the worst. It's one of them. Hold it up more. Will that hold it up? There's a Deadpool. It's not the worst. It's not the worst. It's one of them. Hold it up more. Will that make it better if I hold it up? Whatever.

It's a two-second drawing. Not terrible. Why is his... I kind of remembered what he looks like. Why is his pelvic area so big? Doesn't he have a D on his belt or something? I don't know about... Oh, yeah, he's got his little face.

He's got his little face belt. I forgot the name. Why is his pelvic area so big? Because his legs are all stretched out. Trans Deadpool. He's not trans. Look at that. It's bigger than his fucking head.

I tried. I did all right. Okay, so Null announced that he's going on hiatus. Yes. He won't say why I would draw a different thing as well, but I forget what it was But he did send me a A voicemail about it Am I mailing these to people?

Do people want these? No I'll mail it to them if they want it You don't have extra You don't want extra work to do They paid 50 bucks. I could put a stamp on it. Okay.

You ready? Yeah. Here we go. This is Null's reason for why he's going on a hiatus. Deep breath. Oh, sorry. Here we go. Here we go.

Deep breaths. Deep breath. Chat, I have a pretty big announcement. I can't believe I'm really doing this. This is going to be shocking. And I know some of you, maybe even a lot of you, aren't going to like it. I'm going on hiatus. I am taking a break.

Now, some of you are guessing this is about the lawsuits. No, it has nothing to do with that. I am taking a pretty huge step towards my new life my true self I Joshua moon am a woman. That's right. I am trans I'm gonna take a lot of the money you guys donated for the lawsuits and blossom into a beautiful butterfly Keffel's tits will have nothing on my juicy rack. I still hate her because we are both women But I am gonna be so much hotter I am going to look like a babe out

of the most degenerate milf hentai. You and cells are going to beg for my feet pics. Um, now obviously some of you are stunned by this revelation. Like a third of my show is just trans people. I realize now I was jealous of their courage. Uh, I put on a dress the other week and my clit got rock hard. I am chasing this bad dragon. If you got a problem with that, you can fuck off. The next time you hear from me, my voice will somehow be more feminine. I will be a BBW. However, in my absence, I have a request. I need you, my brave listeners, to continue to call my enemies pedophiles.

Because they are. Do as your queen commands. Bow before Jessica Moonstar, protector of children. Noel's got to weigh like 350 pounds. Jessica Moonstar. He's got to be huge right now. There's no way that dude is staying fit. You think you're less than or more than Noel?

I think Noel is at Vito Giswaldi levels of fatness, if not more. Vito last year, you mean? That guy was bigger than us. Sometimes I hear that guy talk, and he sounds out of breath. Okay, now you have to draw Riley or Yira. Riley or Yira. Although, I don't know. It's kind of annoying that you have to pick.

Yeah. Well, maybe I'll try to draw I mean, I don't even know. How many of these are we doing in episodes? Should there be a cap? A cap of what? 50 bucks? I gotta speed through these now. Alright, Yira. You took way too much time on that Deadpool, and it turned out like crap. No, it looks all right.

It looks horrible. Hold on. That was the worst thing ever. Magneto, Mega Man for two bucks. Magneto, but he's a black Hebrew. I'm going to have to raise the price of these. Dog-friendly, 20 bucks from NullTag. There you go.

Jacob Berryhill, play the tape. I did. Thank you. Daniel Gore for five. Thank you, Daniel. David Gomez for two. Five voicemail guy sounds like he has no guy friends. I hope not. Jacob Berryhill for five.

I accidentally double donated for the Null Tape. Vito is cool, obese, and gay. Thank you. More game streams. Kill yourselves. Oklovich for two. Thanks for not going to Greenland Boys. Black Prayer. IL Black Prayer.

Sarah Gardner for five. Australian dollars. Ooh. That means you're probably a little bit skinnier than your fat American sisters. Very possible. Hey, five voicemail guy. Have you tried not being so gay? I bet he has.

Pigeon for five. Vito. Now that's a. Pigeon for five. Vito. Now that's a good episode. Warren for five. My dad works at Marvel, so I got to see Deadpool 3 early. And there's a scene where Deadpool gives

Wolverine a mother's milk Funko Pop. Shut up. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's great. Very excited. Wow. That'd be nuts.

That'd be cool, though. That'd make it worth it their whole life. Yeah, that would make the Marvel fans very excited Daniel Gore for 5 Double Bubble Vito Big Red Vito

Always with the bubble gum glow Double Bubble Vito Diamond G for 222 All Wolverines the movie That was a good movie Sarah Gardner for 2 What kind of business calls themselves sweet baby? A pedophile business

A weird woman hating-hating, self-loathing scam business run by degenerates. Gorby Jimson for 10. Uncanny how each reperverse problem has layers. Like the Yira trailer, Saska's are undermining Eric Jalai's company and marriage, history of piss incest films, and they're bad directors. That's the worst part.

Truly remarkable. Yeah, it is. Utah-based Armenian for five. Voicemail guy is right. Vito isn't Maddox. Maddox lost weight and released a New York Times bestseller. Wait, did Maddox lose weight doing something? Well, he says, yeah, he did. I guess he looks different.

I don't know if it was worth it, though. He should have stayed fat. He was funnier when he was fat. Jacob Berryhill for two. Vito's cat here. I'm not coming back. Go fuck yourself. You guys leave that cat alone. That's horrible.

Wrecking 1911 for 2,500 clips. I was feeling like logging out, but then I watched this week's show, and I feel so much better, although my MOP stinger was lost alongside Vito's cat. Well, I might just have it, you know? Oh, yeah. Somebody sent in a stinger and they were mad we haven't played it. You know we save them.

So if we don't play it on one episode, we might play it on another one, right? Yeah, that was idempotency. Yeah, Reckon, I have yours. Send them in. We put them in a folder. We don't lose them. Although yours I'm gonna delete now Now it'll never get deleted

Because you back-sassed me There you go, now it's in the garbage I hope you're proud of yourself Where it belongs I think you're done Can I give him a Now you're just drawing hands and shit It's like a bit, it's not

Vito takes a vacation for 10 minutes. Well, then I, well, what do you want me to do? I can't draw it in two seconds. Well, it's not supposed to, like, you're not drawing on camera. Maybe I'll set up a camera so you can do this. Woo. There, I signed it. You don't need to sign it.

I signed it. That's pretty good, I think. There you go. For a quick one. Fucking amazing. That's Yaira? No, that's, yeah, that's Yaira. She looks think. There you go. For a quick one. Fucking amazing. That's Yaira? No, that's, yeah, that's Yaira. She looks great.

She looks awesome. Tits are too big. Look, look at that. It's that classic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. All right. All right, I will put less effort in. Why are you sending these off to people?

I just thought it would be fun. They paid 50 bucks. Otherwise, we're just going to throw them out. Yeah, just throw them out. They're trash. They get a little piece of the show. It's like a little piece of... Don't pollute people's houses with trash from other things.

I think the people who paid for those are going, wow, an original Vito Giswoldi piece. I want that. Yeah, that is what I think you're thinking. Oh, I got to send that guy. That guy who sent me those... Remember that card I got assigned? Go ahead. Read the... Which one am I on? Oh, this one? Yeah. RECON 1911 for

$2,500 CLPs. Which I think is $2. I was feeling like logging out, then I watched this week's show and I feel so much better, although my mop stinger was lost. Oh, we did that. Scar for five. Leg lengthening surgery, Vito. So you want to be tall and wide. Vito is the opposite of Patrice

O'Neal. Dean Shock for five. Hey, Dick, I'm sure you know, but the recommended serving size on dog food bags will make your dog fat. You need to cut it down to three-fourths. Do not use the recommended size. Why don't you fucking kill yourself? Your dog's been looking slim. Speaking of slim, SlimWellness96

for two says Ivan Reitman is dead. Wait, really? Oh. Yeah. Fuck. Crazy Cat for five. Dick, when you get an oversized treasure chest, you got to do a few fun runs with nothing but a single fungo pop, so Dick gets used to a genuine chance.

Cara Fro for 10. Great episodes, guys, as always. Forgot to send you my original art veto art piece request. Yes, Cara, please let me know. You're on deck. Yeah, I'll take 40 minutes drawing it, Kara, and send it to you and want to know your address. You get half the money for that, so I don't know what you're complaining about. I only get 30% of the money, I think. Well, you get 30% off.

30% So less than that even. Cypress and Suctus for five. So let me just get your address, Kara, if I can. Vito, I need the pirate. Why are you throwing away a bunch of money? No. Bama Gumper for five.

Did I hear a hard R? You did hear a hard R. Chad Dragon for two. Hard R, hard R. Why is Dick reading Super Chats instead of Captain Cumbier? Because he's drawing. You guys paid him to draw. This is what I did not want.

Matt M for five. I saw a few of your shirts at Carl's show in Clearwater, including the criminalized sobriety one. R saw a few of your shirts at Carl's show in Clearwater, including the criminalized sobriety one. Arr! You sent Carl's shirts to sell? No, there's some left over. No, they bought shirts and are wearing them to the show. People are at

the show wearing your shirts. Yes, I know. You couldn't imagine what he's describing. I assumed it was being monetized. That's what you jumped to? I'm sending fucking merch for Carl to sell? Well, when you say I saw something at a place. I saw some of your shirts at a place. Typically, you're talking about they were at a store.

My shirts? No. I'm saying if you say I saw a shirt here. I saw this shirt at Target. You would think, oh, they were selling it, not, oh, someone was wearing it. You think Carl's show is at Target? No, but that's what I'm saying. What are you talking about? Whatever. This is pointless. It's pedantic. Coo for five.

Since you skipped it earlier, I'll reiterate it, you fat meatball. I'm glad to see Yellow Flash is a fellow Cunny slur. I don't think I did... Did I skip that one? I'm glad to see Yellow Flash is a fellow Cunny slur. I thought I said that, Coof, but if I missed it, I'm sorry. Coof's a fan of lollicon pornography. Koof, I think, was beating off to lollicon pornography and missed me saying that.

He was beating off during our live show. He's beating off to lollicon. I think the point to be made here is that I don't... Who wants lollicon? I'm not coming down on the lollicons. I don't care. Do whatever you want. But Yellow Flash is in no position to tell everyone else

they're a fucking degenerate. When he goes home, he goes, oh, man, I hope there's more episodes of that anime where a bunch of little girls get raped. That's my favorite one. I don't care so much about the little girls, but the little boys, you shouldn't be doing that. Yeah, well, that's the other thing.

They go, you don't understand. It's different. You don't understand. At the beginning of the series, a young boy gets raped. And you're like, oh, so it's okay? Oh, okay. Wow. That sounds like a fucking pedophile's fantasy.

And then he goes and he starts raping girls. So that makes it okay. How many times have you cummed before you get to that point, Yellow Flash? So I guess the rule is that child rape is okay as long as one child is raping another child as revenge for previous rapes. Lollicon doesn't mean you're a pedophile. No. But it doesn't mean you're not a pedophile.

It doesn't mean you're not a pedophile. I will agree with that. Zombie Mailbox for five says, I love little girls. Shawnee, 7488 for five. All right. Dick's totally right. If you don't get Superkiller out before Deadpool 3, Superkiller will be a Taurus pamphlet for Greenland. You have to get it out. Finor for 20

euros says, give me that booty. We will. Chud Bronson for five. Vito, please start doing more. You're fat and will always fail. Why do you want me to start? If I will always fail, then there's no point in doing more. Vito, start doing more. You are fat. You can't beat Deadpool. Please cry when it comes

out. Love you guys. I don't think you do love us. I think that's... He's trying to help you. Great. Get your act together because you've fucked it up. Everything's fine. LordPaps here for five. Vote no on yes. Brian David for five. When is the Ghostbusters video coming out? I think Monday.

I think Brian David. You think Monday? I think Brian... Anyway, yeah, Monday I'm aiming to get it out. Just gotta publish Monday. I think Brian. Anyway, yeah, Monday I'm aiming to get it out. Just got to publish it. I got to change the beginning and I got to do the ending. Oh. Like 90% of it's done.

Bama Gumper for two. Tijuana Taxi. Jay Thompson for two. Talk about X account. Second time you've said T. Asking Young Flash to respond to veto. So there's an account bothering Young Flash to respond to veto. So there's an account bothering Young Flash. You've got to ask Yellow Flash which part of the lolly hentai he liked more,

the little girls getting raped or the little boys getting raped? Get a list of all the rapes and the ages of the characters involved. Rank the rapes. Which of these rape scenes did you like the most? S, A, B. I think it better all be an S. Spider Eternal for five says, I once hired an artist. I didn't crack the whip.

It's been 10 years and I have no art, no refund. You're not hearing us veto. Oh. What does that all mean? That's you. That's your thing. Oh. I see.

There you go. Cypher says, don't do it yet. You got to save it. Yeah, I know. Cypher says, this is. There you go. Cypherson sucks. Don't do it yet. You got to save it. Yeah, I know. Cypherson sucks for two. It says Linkin Park sucks. Sure. Why don't you go fuck yourself, Cypherson sucks.

Slevin Culvera for two. If Deadpool kills Super Killer in a Vito hat, you okay. Vitor for 50 euros. Booty. Demands the booty. Yes. So Turgery for two. Says Ricky's the only guest you guys need. Trucks me.

Douglas Ivy for five. Just turned the show on. Of course, Vito's talking about food. Booty man for five. Time to waddle the plank land blubber. Pineapple man for two. Cute Vito, Kawhi Vito, always with the Pepto. Always with the Pepto.

CJ for ten. Should start another another block train betting pool like the weight loss one called the Vito Deadpool Death Pool. If he loses, Dick gets to destroy that dollar amount of Vito's booty. Oh, that's a good one. I get to destroy it. No, no, no, no. If there's a big, let's have a big prize. And if you don't get someone send in. Not everything needs a prize.

Everything is a prize, okay? Everything is a prize already. You just need a tangible version of it because you don't understand the other kind. I don't need a blockchain thing to make the comic happen. No, because you can weasel your way out of failing in either way. And if we make a blockchain thing, it should be... We aren't making shit. All right, I know.

We're not doing anything. Buster Rhymes for five. What should we burn if Vito doesn't get his comic out before Deadpool? 11.59. I will make a blockchain for all the people. What thing should we burn? Okay, this money is for dick only, says Busta Rhymes. I thought the hate for Vito was a meme until he was literally too lazy to read a whole super chat

and ruined my hilarious punchline. Was that in this episode or a different episode, Busta? You already did it. All right, I already fucked it up. What should we burn episode, Busta? You already did it. All right. I already fucked it up. What shall we burn? What shall we? We don't need to burn anything.

What shall we burn if you don't get your super killer out in time? Clip Samba for two. Maddox lost weight by hiding his cereal slop. It's true. Plumbo for five. How much do I have to pay for a veto sign? Mother's Milk Funko Pop. Those will be auctioned off at some point on whatnot. Because they're all valuable collector's items now.

Drunken Atheist Studio for two. How about that Beetlejuice trailer? I have not seen it. I didn't see it either. I thought people were excited for the new Beetlejuice. Am I wrong? Kind of. Okay, we're out of Super Chats.

All right, you know what time it is then. I know. You know what time it is, you cocksucker. Landblubber. I've got a new intro theme. Great. Because the other one got copyright fucking. Nothing matters anymore.

Nothing matters. Shanghai. Doesn't matter. Oh. What's the game where we smash all the toys? Of a man who tweets about little boys? Somehow worse. What's in the box?

You know you want it. This is way more of that. So get on the scale or I smash at the shed. Vito's Booty. Vito's Booty. Vito's Booty. Vito's Booty.

Alright. What's it gonna be? What's it gonna be? All right. What's it going to be? What's it going to be? What are you looking at your fucking phone? Did you just do your big vent and now you're going to look at the phone? Because I'm putting the fucking scale thing on. Why are you so aggressive when you end the song? What do you mean?

I mean immediately with the drum roll. Because people have work to do. That guy's got a commute. He wants to know before he has to go to work. People do not want you to hurry the bit along. That's not the bit. I know that much about it. You've got two more drum rolls before you have to pick me, Harty.

They want you to either get on the scale or you don't get on the scale. You smash your toys. What's it gonna be? There's something good in here. It's not mother's milk. I can promise you that. No, I know what it's gonna be. I can promise you it's not a mother's milk. It's gonna be something else that's bad, though. It's not bad. You're gonna love it. I can

swear to God that you're gonna love it. I swear to God. You're saying that. Why would I swear? Shut up. Shut up. Alright, I got it. I swear to God. The way that you're saying that, I mean, alright. Why would I swear? Shut up, shut up, shut up. Alright, I got it. I swear on my girlfriend's life, you're gonna love it. Is it a cake? If it's a cake, I'm gonna feel real stupid,

aren't I? Why would someone send in a cake, Vito? You had a rough week, and it's gonna get worse, because you gotta get on that scale, or you gotta get a toy smashed in front of you. I wanna open the big chest. All right, it's a big... Oh, yeah, I gotta get it out.

Hold on, hold on. Get what out? The chest, dick brain. Go weigh yourself first, all right? It's too heavy for me What Goddamn cleaning lady. I fucking told her not to come in here Where is it no scale no bit?

Throw everything over Throw everything over! Throw everything over! There's no scale, dude! Honey! Get down here! It's over here somewhere! Where? It's gotta be over here! Okay. Or look in the other room! Why do I gotta look for any treasure?

Just do it or I'll smash the toy! Is this- now it's a treasure hunt, too? Now it's also a treasure hunt! There's no scale! God fucking damn it! God damn it! Uhhh... Man, I don't fucking know. What is it?

It's like grey. Yeah, it's grey! Okay, well it blends in- It's all over there in those clothes. Throw all those clothes on the ground. I'm not gonna throw them on the ground. Maybe it is under the clothes. Oh. Shit. Doesn't matter where it goes. Well this is the worst thing ever that's ever happened.

Did someone else use the scale like to weigh it down? No the fucking cl- I told the cleaning lady never to come in here! It might be in the hall. Open the hall. Go in the hall. Okay. I need an adult shit are you matty get over here it might be in the bedroom go check on the bedroom are where the heck is the scale? I'm reading more super chats until they find the fucking scale. Please help him.

I don't know where this scallywag probably hid the scale. Is it over there? Oh, you found it immediately. Good job, Vito, you fucking liar. You fucking obviously saw it there. Calm down Get on Hurry up You could have been taking your clothes off this whole time

Here we go Okay Have a seat Good job Well not really Well no not really It's 294.7 Honestly considering this week

I didn't work out or eat good at all I'm pretty satisfied with that You've been going up though No I went down from last week right Yeah but you've been going up in general Yeah well I gotta once I'm done with this video, I want to- From 2016? Yeah.

Well, it's not from 2016. I probably started making it in 2020 or whatever. You could have lost 30 pounds by now. I know. You could have lost 30 pounds today. I'm changing a lot of stuff. My dog's lost 10 pounds. I get it.

Okay? She's not working on a comic that's already been done, but... I got a lot of stuff I'm figuring out. Are you ready for your prize? Sure. Here we go. Do I get to open the box? It's very heavy.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to be obnoxious? It's not obnoxious. Here is the Vito's booty. Here it is. Look at this. Everyone can see because the good thing was too small. The box was too small. It's not a cake.

It would be a wedding cake if it was. Get it out there. Make sure everyone could see. Vito's booty. It didn't actually need the large chest at all. That was a misdirect. Turned out that was a lie. Okay.

Okay, open it up. Open it up so everyone could see. I told you you would love it. So that means it's a joke. I'm not showing this on camera. That's the show. That's the show. What's wrong?

We're not doing this. What's wrong? I'm not doing that. I'm not showing this on camera. That's the show. What's wrong? I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. You can open it. I'm not doing that. The people paid for it. Good show. God bless. What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that? Don't you watch your fries? No. End the show. End the show. What's wrong with that? Don't you watch your- No! No! End the show! End the show! What? What's wrong? What's wrong?

End the stream. What's wrong with it? End the stream. Why are you putting all your clothes back on? Arrrr. Cut it. Cut it there. That's it.

Cut it. It was in the big treasure box and everything. I'm not coming back on camera. Why not? I don't know. What's wrong with this? It's great. It's fantastic.

What do you mean? I don't want it. Why not? You can burn that. Why? Because I don't want it. Burn the evidence you mean. I don't want it. What's wrong with it? I don't want it. Why not? You can burn that. Why? Because I don't want it. Burn the evidence, you mean. I don't want it. What's wrong with this? I'm not touching it. I'm not on camera with it.

I'm building those screenshots of me holding it. Why? It says, it's, uh, it's wild to me that no one was crazy enough to send this in. Guess it's up to me. Pretty sure I can't send anything better.

Looking forward to the reaction. Stan. Cool. It's just a nice present that someone gave you and you're so ungrateful. You're standing there like a two-legged turtle. I'm not getting back on camera. Why? Because I already know these people and what will happen.

Maybe I just shouldn't show it then. If you're not going to get on camera, I guess I just shouldn't show it. You won't even... At least take the microphone over by you. I will hold it up. Take the microphone over by you.

I'm not getting back on camera. Why? Because I don't want, I'm not doing that bit. What do you mean? How much money would it take you to get on camera? You can show them what it is. How much money would it take for you to get on camera and look at what this is? No amount of money. No amount. No amount of money? Nope.

Really? Really. Not even $20? No, not $20. Not even. I'm not doing it. I'm, the optics game is so stupid. What optics game? The optics game is that I will endlessly have to have some idiot on Twitter repost a video of me holding up a thing. Why are you so worried about what people think about you?

I just, this is one of these things where, like, the people who are obsessed with this thing are so stupid. But you drew a little boy the other day. You're a little boy that was funny with his tongue out that wasn't funny look i understand the joke i love jokes i wish i could make them not enough but at a certain point i it's just too much but uh hey guys what a great show what a great episode so you're just not gonna have have to wrap this one up. You're just totally ungrateful, not showing people what someone sent you to be a reward. Maybe that can be a fun mystery for everyone. It's wrapped.

It is wrapped. It has good reviews. I think the good reviews are the problem. I don't want individuality. You can't even sit down. No. You're not even sitting down. I'm done.

How much for Vito to sit down in the chair? I'm not doing it. This is really outrageous. It's not that outrageous. It's totally outrageous. It's not that outrageous. By the way, what was the thing at? 53% no.

I don't want to do it. You're such a poor sport, they're saying. I'm't want to do it. You're such a poor sport, they're saying. I'm a very good sport. Vito is such a poor sport. I've been an excellent sport. No. I've been an excellent sport. You can't even be on RIP The Biggest Problem. They're saying the show is over. They're not going to watch anymore. That's fine. Good.

They're not going to subscribe anymore. I understand. They said they won't even watch the show anymore. I understand. And I accept it. They're saying show it. You can show it. It's not even any big deal. Show it to them, though. It's not a big deal.

No. I can't even reach it. First of all, I have the sword in this hand and the microphone in the other hand. I will. Into frame. Show me where my hand is. No one can see it. That's your hand. That's your hand. That's V can see it. That's your hand.

That's your hand. That's Vito's hand. That's Vito's hand right there. Whatever. I hate you. Stop. Don't abandon me. Leave me out of this.

I fucking hate you guys. I got you, you snake in the grass. Shut up. I got you. I don't want it. I don't want it. He's got it. He's got it.

No, I don't. Stop. He's got it. I don't want it. He put his child pornography in the last. Shut up. I got shit. I don't want it. I don't want it. Oh, he's got it. He's got it. No, I don't. Stop. He's got it. I don't want it. He put his child pornography in the house. Shut up. It's your child pornography that you did it. Wow, a pirate dick? It's not like that accusation. Look at you. You're so gun-shy.

Great joke. I get it. Great bit. At least give it to me so I can look at it. I'm not picking it up. At least give it to me so I can look at it. I'm not picking it up. At least give it to me so I can get rid of it properly. It's right there. You can dispose of it however you want. I don't want to go on your side.

It breaks the fourth wall. It's a 180 degree camera rule. It will mess everything up. You know what? We'll save it for the sequel. We'll save it for next episode. The sequel of Cuties? You mean the prequel?

It has nothing to do with that thing. I want nothing to do with it. At least hand it to me. I want nothing to do with it. So I can get rid of it. I want nothing to do with thing. I want nothing to do with it. At least hand it to me. I want nothing to do with it. So I can get rid of it. I want nothing to do with it. I want nothing to do with it. That's weird.

It's weird that you wouldn't want something to do with it. That's guilty. Sure. That means, that seems guilty. Like Flash deleting all his videos. I just, I. Me, I wouldn't care. I would just touch it.

I don't care. There's a universe in which I get it, you know? What? What are you talking about? Just hand it to me so I can get rid of it. Just go over there. Go over there. How much for you to go over there and get rid of it?

Hand it to me. You really need me to hand it to you? I do. So I can close the show. Just close the show. I can't just close the show. People are watching. It's a great show, guys. What a great episode. Go give me the fucking prize so I can close the show Just close the show I can't just close the show People are watching It's a great show guys What a great episode Go give me the fucking prize

So I can show people Please check out The biggest problem Give it to me So I can show people I'm not Getting it to you That's it

I know you didn't think I could move my camera like that Did you? That's good That's good Don't forget Bonus episodes At biggest problem

Patreon.com Slash biggest problem My big Ghostbusters video will be on my channel hopefully Monday just go get it and give it to me I'm not touching it I don't want anything to do with it you don't even have to be on the camera just crawl over there and get it

if you don't want to be on the camera I'm not going to crawl on the ground to hand you a QD's DVD I'll turn the camera off I'm not going to hand it to you I don't know why you need me to hand it to you there it's off alright I'll turn the camera off. I'm not going to hand it to you. I don't know why you need me to hand it to you. There, it's off. All right. It's a great bit.

It's excellent. It's off. The camera's off. So go get it and give it to me. No, no, no. Kick it to me. No. So get a fucking, get the thing. You want me to kick?

Okay, I'll kick it to you. You want me to kick it to you? Yeah. All right. What? I'm not doing anything! You're fucking around! I'm not fucking around! I'm just- I have a cough! Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. There. It's under the table. You just do it. There. You messed up my cameras for this stupid bit! No, you messed up the camera for the bit! I don't- now it's frozen or something. Okay, great-

What is the deal? What did you kick over there? Great show What did you kick? I kicked you the thing that you asked for You fucked something up Great, good, we can end the show now It's a great show What do you now want to give me?

I don't know, I have no idea I plead ignorance Alright, well I guess nobody wins What do you mean nobody wins? You win, everybody wins I have no idea. I plead ignorance. Alright. Well, I guess nobody wins. What do you mean nobody wins? You win. Everybody wins. Everybody wins.

I guess nobody wins. What is a win? What is a win? You're right. Nobody won. The bad guys win. The bad guys win. The bad guys win. The bad guys win.

Noel wins. Noel doesn't win. Because you're too afraid to go. Just give me, kick a prize. Now I have to go. I did kick it to you. What are you talking about? I already kicked it to go. Just give me a prize. I did kick it to you. What are you talking about? I already kicked it to you.

Why do you think I went over there? It's not a win or a lie. You don't got to think about it. The bad guys win. The bad guys don't win. Trump wins. Trump wins. Trump's the good guy, I thought. Not for you. You're right.

Why are you trying not to touch it? I don't want to touch this shit. I already know what you're doing. I know what you're doing. I'm just... Stop. What? Stop.

Stop! What? Where are you going? What is the deal? I don't want to be in this! It touched you! It touched you! Alright, goodbye everyone. You guys suck.

Click. Alright, it's off. Hit on stream. Okay. Here here just take this it's my kryptonite alright it's off now