The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 134

Episode Date: March 30, 2024

Where's my Retro Rick Retro Rick So fuck that guy I'll give I gotta talk to Boogie Boogie's getting ripped off Cause he's gonna get

Dealer prices man From Retro Rick Oh that's true You're gonna give him Friend prices I'm gonna give him Friend A dealer will give you

At best 60 cents on the dollar Boogie wants He deserves it though He wants to be ripped off I'm a 70 cents man. What are you going to give him? Anything that Retro Rick offers

you, you'll double it. I'll not double it, but I'll put a little bonus on there. Suffers his cancer? I think Retro Rick's got enough. And me, I never have enough. You don't have anything. Although I had a guy I was going on. I was, I never have enough. You don't have anything. Although I had a guy I was going on.

I was on a Facebook marketplace today. I saw a guy with a, you know that I got the PS2 kiosk, of course. Yeah. I love it. I love it. You've been playing games on it? No, I play DVDs on it. I just leave it in the corner of the room playing home movies episodes. Is that like a blockbuster?

Yeah, it's basically like a blockbuster kiosk. At your house. At my house. I forgot how inconvenient DVDs are. You're like, oh, I can't wait to watch home movies, and there's only like three episodes on a disc, and you've got to keep switching the disc out. Oh, God.

I needed a laugh. Today's been so miserable. Anyway, I was on Facebook Marketplace, and there's a guy with an Xbox 360 kiosk, and I'm like, do I dare? You've got to kiosk it up. You've got to get one for the bathroom. I think that one I would have to

I think that would be one to flip. But he's got it pretty cheap. One for you, one for me. One for you, one to flip. I'll just put it in the garage until I eventually buy my Palacio Hollywood estate. In Nevada. Well, it's not a bad idea.

It's a good looking property out there in Vegas. Really? Yeah. What's good-looking? I don't know. They're building all kinds of stuff. A hellhole. Yeah.

Yeah, well, it is a hellhole. You can move into the towers out there. I keep getting TikTok recommendations. I must have followed this guy. It's some landlord-type guy in Vegas. He just goes, look at these. Look what we're building here. Look at these.

And he's like, they got ones with an RV garage. So not only do you have this desert hovel, but it's got a gigantic garage to park your RV in. So everybody in your neighborhood is an RV enthusiast. So if you're done with your regular house, you can go into the garage and hang out in your RV. That's kind of cool. And wash it. And break the little plastic bits off of it. I think there's a world in which I become an RV guy.

I could see that. Let's see. Are our volumes okay? I'm going to swap anyway to see. I think we're good. We're probably good. It's usually good. Retro Rick is fucking me. Fucking Retro Rick. For more of this secret content, go on the podcast feed.

You got to listen to the actual podcast. Vito lays his plans to pick Boogie's corpse clean of toys. Boogie's got good stuff, and I want it. Boogie doesn't even deserve it. Boogie said he's got two years left to live. Boogie should donate his cards to cancer kids. Other sick kids who are less sick than him. Isn't that what he's doing with his girlfriend? Didn't he go to the cancer ward, pick out a kid,

and say, I'm going to make your dreams come true? Hey, kid. I told you to pick up my car, not my 21-year-old girlfriend. What the fuck? Where is she now? We don't know. We took her to Goodwill. I think he's going to leave.

Is he going to kill him? We're on YouTube. No, I think he's going to unalive himself. He says he's very sick. He's very sick. And the problem is he's had some sort of cancer type situation. A lot of slow-acting cancer going around. Well, there's a lot of slow-acting cancers on the internet.

But Boogie, yes. He's a fast-acting cancer. He's lucky. Apparently the podcast, the Lol Cow podcast, is making him a little bit of money. Not a lot. Not as much as this show. We're making more from this show than Boogie is from that Lol Cow show. We're not making enough.

We've got to get above 10 grand if you hate boogie and you want to see him terminate his existence you sign up at biggest at patreon.com slash biggest problem yeah and we have to say the url now because for those of you watching the video feed you may have noticed that we have a different overlay yeah which is a kind of it is kind of an interesting change. Would you put something about me on it? No, no, no, no, no. It's just so we've been trying to make clips for the channel. What's great is there's all these new AI programs that can help cut video down and make clips quicker.

But you feed it in this thing with an overlay. It has no idea what to do, and it's like, I don't know who's who and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, all right, all right, all right. They all work almost right. I see all these influencers, these the biggest douchebags in the world. You gotta check out this AI clip revolution and it's like, you can do this, this.

Nobody has ever wanted to do exactly that. It needs to make clips. It makes some pretty shitty clips. We did have a fan who's helping out making some clips and I'm talking to him. I don't know. We got more stuff going on. Who's that?

Who's the fan? Trio Doug. Wow, I really fucked up my hair doing that. Got a guy named Trio Doug who put together a great short which is now on our YouTube channel. And he sent me over

some other ones and I want to see if we can refine the process. Is Boogie's girlfriend dead? No. He said he's gonna... She left me and I don't know why everyone hates me. Is that what he said? I just posted naked pictures of her in the bathtub,

so people would think at least there's someone who loves Boogie. Boogie has been dealing with a stalker situation, as you've seen. Yeah, right. Jack me up. Who would stalk that fat ton of shit? That guy came to his house and spray-painted stuff on him. Head file? Maybe it was a little boy that he...

I don't know what information this individual... I'm not going to help you with that bit. But regardless, there's a crazy guy. Boogie! Okay, there's two crazy guys. One maybe wants to kill the other one. So that's why his girlfriend left him? He said...

Is it because his podcast sucks and makes no money? And that's why she left? As he's dealing with... No, that's not... She's tired of doing yard work while he sits in his bathtub and stinks? She babysits for the local neighbors. And refuses to sell his magic card so he can buy her a ring? He says he has to catalog his magic cards.

And I said, but you don't got a catalog. Just come on. Did she not feel comfortable with how he was constantly posting about asking her dad to marry her in these inappropriate pictures, thus making it harder for her to disentangle herself emotionally? I don't know. Did she finally catch on to that? The most manipulative shit you could possibly do?

Is it like celebrity? There's a lot of... Did she catch that? Look, I don't understand their relationship 100%. How could I? I'm still worried it's an angel. Did he accidentally eat her head? I'm still worried it's an angel.

He was eating a big foot-long sandwich, and he just went, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. All I know is that Boogie's dealing with some health problems. He's got a stalker situation. He's got to just give it up to God, man. Yeah. Do you think he threatened to kill himself because it was Good Friday? And then his account will resurrect itself in three days on Easter Sunday.

That's what it was. It is Good Friday. I'm glad you bring it up. What are you supposed to do on Good Friday? Threaten to kill yourself on Twitter. That's not part of it. You threaten to kill yourself and then lock your account, and then on Sunday you go, Everyone, I went to therapy and did mushrooms.

I'm so much better now. I did mushrooms, everyone. So is Good Friday when he got crucified? Boogie? No, Sunday is when he gets crucified, when he unprivates his account again. Okay. I was trying to, I meant the Jesus. Whoever takes his girlfriend next is going to be crucifying her, right?

Her arms are going to be out back of the bed. Oh, yeah. Why do I bring up that? I don't even feel your gut. Poor Boogie. Did she find somebody fatter and more pathetic of the bed. Oh, yeah. Why do I bring up that? I don't even feel your gut. Poor Boogie. Did she find somebody fatter and more pathetic than Boogie? No, no. I almost called him booger.

That would have been a real mess up. He's dealing with some stuff, and he said she wanted to go visit her family. That's normal. He's dealing with having to do his own yard work again. I heard, did you hear the yard work discussion with Keemstar? Keemstar was yelling at him for not mowing his own lawn. No, I don't care about anything on that show. And then Bogey was talking about how his spine is fused together and he can't possibly.

What terrible content. And then I think Keemstar yelled at him to just get a riding mower. I don't know. But Keemstar's got that fake like yelling, Bogey, I can't believe you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. No one can believe it. We all love the Lol Cow podcast and we're pulling for our friend, Bug, to get better. Fucking sucks.

I cannot wait until the Low-Cow Podcast is done. Wings and Boogie are getting fucked over financially in that show, and they're embarrassing themselves. They should be getting a better cut, I think. Pathetic. Keem is taking a cut now from the show. Oh, God. He doesn't need any money. He doesn't need any money at all, and he should wait until it's a bigger thing, I think. Pathetic. Keem is taking a cut now from the show. Oh, God. He doesn't need any money. He doesn't need any money at all, and he should wait

until it's a bigger thing, but sure. At least Keem's getting his little little greenest in the poem. Alright, let's do the show. We got more boogie jokes. Now let's do our lol cow podcast. Alright. Are we going to be looking at

the ISOM stuff today? I think we should. We're going to get NDA'd. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from bathroom vandals to pedophile scandals. Did we have one of those last week? I mean, I was Dick Mastin.

Do we ever not have a pedophile scandal? I mean, did we specifically have a pedophile scandal last? Well, you got the list of problems. I don't remember. Okay, well, here. Let's see. Knock it out. Which one of these is a pedophile scandal?

Is it speed traps? You won? I won, yeah. Fuck, I was winning. How much did you win by? I don't know, man. Dude, my one about trying to fix something and breaking it,

everybody can identify with that. Well, more people can identify with speed traps, too. Yeah, I guess, but like, it's more common to like try to I don't know. I guess we don't have a lot of men in our audience who pick up a screwdriver and try to fix things with their hands. Mr. Fix-It over here is going to lecture you

on your manliness. We've got a bunch of anime nerds racing home from the Evangelion premiere. So they can buy a local PlayStation demo. That PlayStation kiosk is great. I told Dick I've been using that to watch DVD movies because I'm retarded.

Movie are you watching? Caillou? No, I'm not watching Caillou. I haven't heard of that one. He's winking right now. Is that like a Canadian? Is it French-Canadian? Watching the show. Then trying to fix something and making it worse.

Should have won. How many votes was I off by, do you even know? No, I didn't write that down Maybe you should Well, maybe you should do it then Metaphor hijacking Was that a pedophile scandal? It has to be Did this motherfucker just say pedophile scandals?

Did he not? I think he didn't follow the rule for the show, which is don't reference other things. Reference the problems from the previous episode. I can't take it anymore. They can't do it. I can't take it. I'm relying on people less and less. Shame them. Fake internet name is his name.

Well, no, he's shamed. Shame him. It's like the people who send in the stingers. It's not even about the fucking voting up. It's all sorts of nonsense. Unbelievable. It's like the people who send in the stingers. It's not even about the fucking voting up. It's all sorts of nonsense. It's a simple show, people. It's a simple, simple show. People who carve their name into stuff.

That should have been higher. That's a good one. Nah, everybody loves that. I'm going to sip my delicious coffee. Vito, who sits on his coffee, who makes the coffee, has it nice and ready and piping hot to cool down when the show begins. Well, now it's like the perfect temperature. Now it's good.

Because you think you're an AM radio host. Shotgun Tom. Shotgun Tom and the Brownie Brigade here on KPRX 95.2. The Brownie Brigade? Like the Girl Scouts but younger? You're thinking too hard into this character I just invented. What's the Brownie Brigade? Like the Girl Scouts, but younger? You're thinking too hard into this character I just invented. What's the Brownie Brigade? I don't fucking know, man.

They're brown. They're called brownies. Daytime radio, everything's named something. Huh. Uncle Luger and the Fudge on KRX 9, 59.6. Fudge, wow. Yeah. We got Dave Matthews tickets coming up on the hour.

ZH says, I've really learned something from Vito's botched comic rollout. There's value in getting it done as soon as possible. Botched comic rollout. Botched. I've been putting off a work certification thinking like him. I'm busy, tired, got excuses not to do it, but I have to do it now. Otherwise, someone hungrier than me will beat me to the punch. No one is hungrier than me.

That is impossible. I doubt that. Your metaphor failed. Maybe Boogie's hungrier than you. Maybe Boogie's hungrier than me, but he's not getting anything done. I'm the hungriest man alive. Thank you, Vito. You're inspiring me to greater heights.

You're welcome. I'll say this. I talked to the artist. Talk already is a problem. You gotta be yelling. You gotta at least be talking at. We are making great strides.

How many pages are done from last week? Like seven. It's good. Honestly, he turned in the pages so fast I went my head spun I'm like oh shit This is great Well that's good

Somebody in discord said they were going to send in a toy For me to burn if the comic didn't come out Before Deadpool I think we're I think we're I think we're going to get there Well they posed the idea of having a box of toys And if you get it done Then then you get all the toys.

But if you don't get it released, the big pile of toys that you can see, like all the stuff you can see, and then if you don't get it out before midnight on the day that Deadpool releases, I burn them all. I understand the joke and treating me like a small child That can't be motivated in any other way But trust me that I am genuinely Motivated to get this done And don't need extra goodies And incentives and candy

I can't stop people from sending in If you send me a toy and it says put this in the burn box I feel like I'm a retarded child Burn barrel whatever I feel like I'm a retarded child. Well, if we send him in a cake, maybe then... Just retard, not retarded child. Here, you can burn kids' toys.

I did find... Oh, no! It was a fake? My fake guy's cradle. I thought it was real. It's a very well-made fake. When I looked at it on the show, I said it's a little light, the printing. So basically, you just put it under a microscope and a regular magic card. It's like dot printing, and they have the original print file, so all the dots are arranged in perfect little rows.

Could you imagine if I switched it with a real one just now? And then encouraged me to rip it up? There's a lot of different things you could do. Damn it, I should have thought of that. Yeah, you should have said, all right, well, let's rip it. Here you go, rip it. So this is ripped. This is fake.

This is fake, yeah. I mean, there's a number of different ways to test, but the easiest way is I just put it under a microscope. Do you want to rip it? Do I have to rip it? I mean, I feel like you should show them that you're the boss. See, now I'm worried. What if I looked at it wrong under the microscope? A little tiny baby rip.

It doesn't have the core pit. Now, do we have an expert that I can send this to? I really hope I was right in believing this is fake. Sir. No, but here. You sent that in. Can you please show a receipt or verification that it was fake? Okay, here's another reason I think it's fake.

You see how it's got the paper in the middle is black? Uh-huh. I think Magic Arts from that era would have been blue core paper. You would have had a blue paper in the middle. Oh, okay. Whew. I looked at it. It looks completely unlike any other magic card I have under a microscope.

Okay. Stop doing that. Stop making me second guess it. If you say so. You guys are killing me. Joshua Perry says Deadpool's coming out in July, so July defeats Vito's comic After All. A little word play. Wait, who's coming out in July? Deadpool. July. Get it? Eric July.

I don't know who Eric July is. I have no idea. When does Yaira come out? We don't actually know, do we? Oh, man, not soon enough. The theory now is that Yaira's not done, and they have to, like, they're still, like, working on it now. Which is fine, as long as whatever. Tim Polbini

Civil Warlord said they can't have commented on the most they still haven't commented on the most hilarious part of the Yari trailer. In the scene where the woman screams save us Solari, the person in the background runs to the right, one runs to the left, one runs from the background past the camera and then the screaming woman runs

from behind the camera to the background. It's four different people running in different directions. It's like a bit from a Naked Gun movie. It's really simple to identify the bad thing is happening there. Everyone run in that direction.

We still don't know what they're running for. That trailer is genuinely... That chick was having a super period out of her mouth. That trailer is mystifying in how bad it is. She had a kryptonite tampon in that was soaking up all that blue stuff and it shot out of her mouth instead.

It's just like, it's not even bad in a way where you're like, oh, well, clearly the actors weren't that good. It's like, it's mystifying in a why did you do it this way

kind of thing. It's trash. It's insane. Biggest problem the universe says, wow, Vito really didn't want to see that DVD get destroyed. Really makes you think. Really makes me think. What I did realize after I left was, oh, you left it in the studio, which means Dick will now find some clever and stupid way to sneak it into a different box or disguise it as something you want.

And he probably did it on this episode, which is why he's laughing so hard. You can't take it home, right? You don't want everyone knowing you took it home, right? Great. I'm so glad. I'm so glad you have another recurring joke to sneak up on me. Okay. All right.

Johnny Rockets. I can't believe Vito loved what was in the booty box so much he couldn't sit still. Me either. He couldn't sit still. He really got ants in his pants. I get you guys. Atticus says... Ants in his pants.

Vito giving out about people carving into stuff is funny because he is jealous of people who finish their art. What am I? Was that in reference to? The carving your people's names. Oh, they finish their art by carving their name into something. Yeah. Okay. Let's see here.

It's a lot of Deadpool stuff. I feel like this comic is going to come out and everyone's going to go, you know what, Vito? We were wrong. Young VX. You are a very talented creator. Vito has a 24-ish UARC playing for Super Killer. How long does he plan on living? How does he plan on living long enough to make it all?

I think I like Boogie. I got about two years before the blood cancer takes me. I got a new lease on life. I'm very excited. I'm feeling very strong Very creative Yeah Then I guess it's all

It's really all just super killer Vito keeps fucking us over Griffin in 1986 Multiple delays Not paying shipping Even for those who spend 200 bucks I told all my friends to buy the comic And now I look like an asshole

Thanks a lot Vito That's just That's a joke comment You don I look like an asshole. Thanks a lot, Vito. That's just, that's a joke comment. You don't look like an asshole. It's not even that late. I mean, like, I'm not going to make excuses, but what if two Marvel movies come out with the same theme? That would be bad.

That would be bad. I think we can definitely beat Deadpool. I'm excited. Like Deep Impact and Normageddon. Remember when those came out together? Came out at the same time, yes. What if there's like another DC comic that's the same idea? I will also say that I have connections of my own.

To what? To information about the Deadpool movie. Like the internet? Nah. I'm not going to say the internet. I'm not going to say the internet. I'm not going to say the internet I'm not going to say the internet I've been told that I don't have

as much to fear as maybe I was previously fearing Okay, so the pressure's off The pressure's not off No, I'm not fucking around I still think it's a good It would be good to get it out before then I think we can do that

I'm being told that maybe the plot isn't as closely resembling what I'm doing as I was led to believe. Okay. That's it for the comments. Do you have anything? I don't actually have anything. No bits? No bits. Okay.

It's been a big week. I had to get my Ghostbusters video out, which has immediately fallen on its face and got no views. So that's the end of videos from Vito. Who cares? What do you mean it fell on its face? I mean, it came out. It's not going to get views.

It doesn't matter. It's Lady Ghostbusters, though. Yeah, I don't know. I thought it would be like, hey, a new Ghostbusters movie is out. We can talk about the previous one that failed. I thought maybe I understood the algorithm in some way. It's not doing like, I mean, it's doing very badly, but it's also something where I accepted. I was like, you know what?

I don't think it's going to do good, but I'm just going to finish it and put it out. So it's out there. I think it's fun to watch. You can go to my channel and listen to me talk about Ghostbusters. Okay. And so that's what I did all last week. Give it a boost. You know what?

It's weird. The algorithm is weird. It might pick up. Take a look. It's probably funny. Just rewind your mental clock a little bit. It's for the five fans I have left. Oh, boy.

All five. Okay. It's for all the people who go, Vito, why don't you make video essays anymore? Because it's a huge waste of time with little return. You've got to make one about this Ghostbusters. It has to be in a... Okay, like, when

Star Wars... Remember how everyone was talking about Star Wars? Yeah. Yeah, so that made sense, because I could put out a video, break down Star Wars, and get, like, over a million views. But now there's nothing like that. Yeah. Yeah, so that made sense because I could put out a video breaking down Star Wars and get like over a million views. Right. But now there's nothing like that. There is no like,

what would possibly compare to Star Wars as a social phenomenon? P. Diddy, raping all those kids and stuff. Well, I can't really do a break, a video essay breakdown necessarily. Funny. Whoa, gotcha.

Come off as hypocritical for me. No, I don't know that story. I don't know a lot of the celebrity drama. A lot of people have gotten big on the celebrity drama. My problem is I just don't know anything about that world or really care about those people. You could do a video investigate. Just find random black people on the street and say, so what's the deal with this? It's not a bad idea.

P. Diddy stuff. What do black people in Los Angeles think about P. Diddy? That could be a bit for this show. What's the biggest problem in P. Diddy? We ask only black people. We go to Compton, we sail along until our video equipment gets stolen. That's the whole bit. There's a running timer at the bottom of the screen

Stop this video It was stolen before we could record any footage It was stolen out of the trunk Immediately when we parked Start running Clock going Hold on let me just get the tape out of that Then you can take the camera

I just need the tape Tape for big money That's an antique That is a Mini DV I still have a mini DV camcorder. My problem is too many stop signs. Did you notice when you were driving over here that every fucking intersection has a stop sign now?

Is that new? Up the hill or like down on the street? Down in the land of the poors. Yeah. I know there's one stoplight that I just blow through all the time now because it never turns green ever. This is exactly my problem. I brought in a whole PDF full of a bunch of bullshit. Too many stop signs encourages none of the stop signs from working.

I've stopped, yeah. I do notice on your block there's a couple different stop signs that I go. They're on residential streets. I'm not stopping in my own neighborhood. Yeah They're on residential streets. I'm like, what am I going to do? I'm not stopping in my own neighborhood. There's no cop here. Yeah, you don't know. I live here.

The only reason cops are here is because I'm getting swatted. Right. That's it. I will never park at the stop sign. And then I got yelled at by some woman walking her dog for not stopping at the stop sign. I almost got yelled at by some dog walkers at a stop sign on the way over here. Did she have dyed hair? Did she have the woke feminist haircut?

It was a guy and a lady, but I didn't look at the lady close enough. Did she have dyed hair? It was a guy with a feminist haircut. I didn't look at the lady close enough. It might have been. You were looking at the guy? He popped around the corner first, and they pick their dog up off the street, and they're like, Hey, there's a stop sign!

I'm like, you fucking whipped around the corner, man. You can hear the car coming. I can't hear you. Just walk over to the side of the road. There is... Now it's off the main drag. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stoplight.

It's unnecessary. It's hell. But you live in like an area where it's like a bunch of... There was no stop signs. Yeah, but I'm saying, I think you live in like a hoity-toity kind of area. No, it's the barrio down

the mountain. Yeah. They have a whole professional for church today. Thank God. It is weird, yeah. So you're in like the slightly nicer area, and then you go down, you know, get to street level. It's ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Literally, yeah. You can hear it echoing through the canyon. Oh, no, I'll usually after the show get a nice street burrito from the place near the market. Yeah, the rat meat market. Yeah, they got that big skewer of rat meat spinning around. I don't know what to do. I went to the city website to see if there's some sort of a form I could fill out.

Oh, there's no way to get rid of that stuff. And there's just a request a stop sign form. There's no request an unstop sign. Where's request an unstop sign? You guys understand that this is forever now. This is like the herpes of suburbia now, or whatever-ia. How do you have three stop signs, three four-way stop signs? Who are they for?

They're for drag racers. But I'm going to say, all these couples around here are childless. I think it's all for their dogs. I don't know. You got a whole city full of... You're falling into the trap of thinking that the government is working to help people. No, I think I'm falling in the trap of assuming Mothers Against

Drunk Driving is still out here constantly adding new speed limits and new... That could be. We talked about speed traps last week. Kind of doubling up with stop signs. Oh shit, I got two road signs. It's fine. it's not that bad But again it's the same thing I talked about last week

Which is a bunch of women Who are worried that their dumb kid Is going to run out on the road The driver comes along and he's going so fast And we gotta slow it down I don't think so I think that they're doing street racing down there Mexican you know

They're probably doing some It's a good drag down there doing street racing down there. Yeah. Mexican, you know. They're doing like Fast and the Furious. They're probably doing some. It's a good drag down there for street racing. It's a very straight little. I've gotten two tickets on that fucking road. It's just like kicking into cruise, driving with my knees. It's a nice stretch. Put my hands up. Yeah.

Grab my dick with one hand. Grab my Twitter with the other hand. It's not a bad idea. I go all the way to this store like this. I want to be street racing now. But the cops got all upset because they get embarrassed by dominic teretto and his crew they said well let's just put streets stop signs everywhere and then we can arrest anybody we want because no one's going to stop at them

who the fuck's going to stop at three stop signs right in a row nobody i hate uh and then there's a middle school and a church right there it It's like, oh, just start writing the ticket. You keep writing zeros, and I'll faint, and that's where you stop. And then you get those four-way stops, like a traffic bank down for miles. They're all four-way stops. Yeah, they're all nightmare. Give me a fucking break here, man. Well, I don't know what you do about the stop sign problem.

I think that the only way to get rid of a stop sign is you're supposed to, in the middle of the night, take a, what is it, an ankle grinder? Ankle grinder. Yeah. Ankle grinder. I call it an ankle grinder. That's horrible. An ankle grinder? That's horrifying. That's what a murderer calls it. Take an angle grinder. I don't know what to do. There's no mechanism to remove. I thought they called it in slave times.

It was called an ankle grinder and they had to change it because... In slave times? If a slave tried to run away, you would grab the... They would chop his ankles off with an ankle grinder? This is why you get all the mother's milks. Because of all the racism that you have. It's not racism.

It's saying it was horrifying. It's horrifying what they did. But they didn't do it. That's why it's racism. You just invented it. A lot of those guys had to escape to the Underground Railroad, and a lot of them became conductors down there. Look, if you know how to get rid of stop signs, I don't know.

I literally think you've got to rip them out of the ground. I think that's what happens. But then what? They'll just come put them back. Do you do it until they stop putting them back? Do they ever stop? I think you've got to do it in a place where they don't notice it, you know? But yeah, if it's somebody lives right across from the stop sign and they go, hey, that

stop sign's gone. Plus you got all the ring video doorbells. You can't do fun, petty street crime anymore. Hopefully they're too poor to have ring doorbells. Yeah, maybe in that area. I don't know, man. I'm going to lose it. I can't get, I can't abide this.

I can't get used to having four stops. I mean, we're in L.A. Aren't you allowed to just do crimes anyway? I thought. That's what I thought. Oh. But I'm used to the level of crimes I was doing. Right.

Having a whole new set of crimes is going to be like the crime that broke the camel's back, you know? That broke P. Diddy. What was the crime that got him? There's a lot going on there. What was the final crime? I think it's just a stack, right? Well, they're saying sex trafficking is what they're getting them on That could be anything

I know, it's confusing Like when I hear sex trafficking, I go, right Loading a bunch of Asian women into a shipping container Yeah, but that's not what it is No, it's usually like You drove like a 16-year-old across state lines And you fucked her. It's like sex trafficking.

Okay, yeah. Which is still bad, but I don't know if it's trafficking necessarily. I'm worried about it. I hear the term too much now to think it's something I didn't do. Trafficking should involve movement on a larger scale than just driving someone somewhere right yeah like if you drive a process to your house is that sex trafficking i don't know yes probably what if she drives herself did she sex traffic herself bitch you can come over but do not use any wheeled transport gotta walk yeah what if you what i'm gonna send a horse to pick you up if you had a

horse bring the girl to your house if p diddy going to send a horse to pick you up If you had a horse, then bring the girl to your house. If Pete Diddy had only used a system of horses, if a buggy enters the picture, does it then become trafficking? Yeah. What if he gave her a pair of rollerblades? Blade on over, girl. That's not trafficking.

Second, it's got a motor. Now you're trafficking. I'd look it up, but it won't matter. What if we gave all the prostitutes jetpacks? It's not traffic. There's nothing in the air other than planes. I guess maybe if they get caught in an FAA. So your problem is too many stop signs.

It's going to be raining come down on everyone. Too many stop signs. Too many stop signs. Voted up, folks. Dick, I'm a big boy with a big appetite. I'm a big boy with a big appetite. There's this Asian buffet in my neighborhood. Okay.

Did I talk about this yet? The Asian buffet? I don't know. You might have mentioned it. I might have mentioned it. Yeah. Because remember we did the China episode?'m like what are these motherfuckers Just eating all this And I go there

And it's still got that problem Where all the shrimp have all the heads on it Or whatever Okay And the shit in them? Yeah you gotta rip the shit line Out of each one The way you phrase it

Well what do you What? It's like a little What do you mean shit line? It's a fucking little intestinal line Of shit, so you crack the shrimp open, and you look at all the Asian guys, and they're just eating the fucking shit line. Oh, come on! What?

That's what they do! I mean, you gotta accept it's probably just plankton and stuff that's been digested by the shrimp. I mean, it is gross and gritty. Yeah. The point is, as I'm going to this buffet, which I've been to probably three times in the past month, I've realized that I am a sufferer of a common ailment

that I think doesn't get discussed enough in this country, and it's an all-you-can-eat buffet anxiety, where this is an experience that should be joyous. This has ever happened experience. This is the greatest problem. That should be joyous. That has ever happened. It should be fun for everyone. Oh, have I got a.

But if you're the kind of fat person I am, and I'm sure there's people out there in the audience who are. There's just a variety of. And the people running the buffet are trying to fuck you over. Yes. The whole time. You know what's good here. And you stop offering me the stuff that sucks. The buffet is like a weird psychological game between you and the proprietor of the buffet

where you've paid your entry ticket. It's like a carnival game. They don't want you to win, right? They don't want you to win the big time. They want you to have a heart attack because you're so worried about what to eat. They want you to just eat salad

and anytime you get, especially as a fat guy, I start getting towards like the crab legs and whatever else. You gotta claw your way through the bread and the melons and the something that looks good and it's like, oh, this is a fucking meat. This is a trick meat they had on this. Dude, so they start so the buffet always starts off, they front load it with all the shit they want you to eat.

That's why it's always the salad bar first. Of course, yeah. But they have plausible deniability because you should eat salad first. Yeah, you should start with a salad, buddy. Why not get a salad? Put it at the end then. Yeah, why not put it- So when I have less room, I'll put it on.

Then, now, I think every buffet does this. They hit you with the sushi because somehow they've tricked us all into believing sushi. Rice and crab shit. Yeah. Oh, it's premium. It's sushi. You know how much sushi costs. Not that sushi. Not that sushi. That's literally just a pile of white

rice which costs you nothing with like the shittiest low-grade fake crab on top. Dude, you have no idea how fucking silently furious I have sat at every buffet in my fucking life. Just pissed, absolutely incensed at the food I

have, and every time I get up and say, I'm not gonna fuck this one up. I'm not gonna fuck this one up. I'm gonna go straight to the middle, where the meat is. The meat. And then I get waylaid somehow, and end up at the beginning where I'm filling up on... And I'm with a to fuck this one up. I'm going to go straight to the middle where the meat is. The meat. And then I get waylaid somehow and end up at the beginning where I'm filling up on- And with a bunch of egg rolls. You end up with a bunch of-

God damn it. You want some garlic bread from a trough? I guess I'll take a piece of garlic bread. And then you get fucked. Dick. Yeah. Then we have all these new all-you-can-eat options Like the all-you-can-eat sushi and the Korean barbecue And they're like, don't order too much or we're going to charge you more

I haven't seen that shit You haven't? What are you talking about, really? Well, that's never happened to me, at least I don't know if it existed No, no, no, on all the menus it goes like Listen, if you order more than your party can eat We're going to charge you for the over Oh, if you have stuff that you didn't eat?

Yeah, like leftover sushi stuff. If you go really over, I think it's supposed to be for people to go really overboard and give me one of everything. They're trying to stop that, obviously. How much is the charge for that? I don't know. I think they make it up on the spot. I got into a situation, though, where I went to an all-you-can-eat sushi thing.

It was like, check off what you want. This is the show I want to see. Vito versus all-you-can-eat. Vito versus the buffet? Yeah. I've watched a couple videos, and I may have some tips for those of you who stick around to maximize your buffet potential. But I went to a sushi place, and it's like, check off what you want.

I'm like, oh, yeah, give me this crab roll or whatever. I'm like, I like crab. And I come back, and it was like this big spicy tuna thing. And I'm like, oh, God, what did I do? And I looked, and I checked the wrong box on their Excel spreadsheet. thing. And I'm like, oh God, what did I do? And I looked and I checked the wrong box on their Excel spreadsheet. Yeah. And I tried eating it.

I'm like, oh fuck, I just can't eat this. And I didn't know what to do. I ended up having to like hide. What'd you do? I shoved it all in my nap. Yeah, you have to hide it. I gotta hide food from the fucking buffet people. Then they have that dessert there as like just a tease.

Yeah. I don't want. They want you. Okay, so they do. I'm going to feel to the point of bursting. They do a couple psychological tricks for you. If you'll notice, you go to the tray of vegetables, and it's a giant spoon. You can't avoid not getting a giant pile of vegetables.

Okay. And you go to get the meat. Here's a little tong, like a tiny tong. But I want a lot of crab legs. One's shorter than the other end. And all these Chinese people are behind me, and they're like, come on, fat boy. I'm like, but the tiny tong!

I can only get one crab leg at a time, and I want more! And you get hurried along. And then I... Okay, this is why I brought this problem is, was I went to the buffet. It was 8 o'clock at night. They close at 9. I said an hour should be good.

An hour should be good. You went to an all-you-can-eat buffet at 8 at night? I fucked up real bad. It got to 8.45. You got to close it up, man. I'm furiously trying to get through it. I'm like, come on, come on, come on. 8.45.

I look. They're already grabbing the chairs. They're grabbing, they're flipping the chairs. They're mopping the floors. They're grabbing the trays of food. I'm like, you're not closed. You can't do that. It was 845. I have 15 minutes

to go. The guy who's supposed to grow the meat, he's gone. He's gone. That fucker is always gone. He's always gone. Every single one of those fucking guys. I'd say, hey, where's the meat, he's gone. He's gone. That fucker is always gone. He's always gone. Every single one of those fucking guys. I'd say, hey, where's the meat? He's like, oh, man, the prime is, we're just getting a new one out soon, but I got this tri-tip.

If you say, and every time now, I'm like, if you fucking, I'll go first. If you say the words tri-tip, I'm going to stab you with your own knife. No. What do you have? I mean, I have a type of meat that nobody wants. How many tips would you say it has? I don't know. I don't know.

Quatre-four. Four. Somewhere between two and four. You motherfucker. You motherfucker. Remember when we went to Fogo do Chão, the Brazilian steakhouse? That has a similar effect on me. That was, but that was bullshit. First of all, they make you go to the charcuterie board at first.

Like, they won't start serving you. And that's where I think the meat is. So I'm like, yeah, maybe if I take all this food, the meat will just start appearing. So you eat a bunch of crackers and cheese. And then I kept being like, they kept coming by and they're like, who wants chicken? Who wants tofu chicken? Not me, no. And they come by and they're like, who wants sausage?

And I'm like, where is the fucking filet? Where is the, and then fucking we were there with Josh. Who wants filet shaped fish? We were there with Josh Denny and Carl. Yeah. And those guys were like, yeah, I'll take a little chicken. I'm like, oh, you guys are idiots. You guys are idiots.

But then they just kept eating. Yeah. Well, they managed to keep putting it away. I was like, you got to wait for the prime cuts. But meanwhile, they keep giving you the bread. I was just following your lead, honestly, that day. I was like, just only order when Vito orders. Well.

Because everything came out. I was like, yeah, Vito's not ordering. You got to wait for the prime. They try to fuck you. They try to give you the cheap meats and all that prime stuff. They come around. They're like, nobody really wants any filet mignon here, right? I'll just get out of here, right?

You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. In the city. Cut that shit up. Here, my son. You are the filet mignon here, right? I'll just get out of here, right? You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. In the city. Cut that shit up. Here, my son, you are the filet mignon server. You're the fastest. Yes, father. You have to run at top speed through the restaurant. You really got to prepare for the buffet. Stretch ahead of time. Get limber. You know, get your metabolism moving.

Don't get too much done. If you're going gonna do the soda You gotta be Watch out We'll fill you up quick Yeah Alright don't bother with the salad The sushi is a complete joke

Okay Go to those crab legs Go to those shrimps Rip the fucking shit line out of them Yeah You know maybe get a little dessert But you gotta maximize your buffet potential And I can't do it the whole time

I know I'm gonna fuck up And I'm gonna end up just eating fucking bread and potatoes. I'm gonna end up with a bunch of Chinese people mad at me as I use the little tongs. They're very good. Did they say diddy mao? If there's any crab legs left,

I mean, I've gone to some buffets where there's just Chinese guys. Chinese people love buffets, but there's just Chinese guys standing at the buffet waiting for the tray of crab legs. Like 10 Chinese guys. And the second it comes down. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

And I'm like, oh my God, can I get one? Can I get one? And they're gone. All right? It's like a fucking frenzy. So, look, I have all you can eat anxiety. It's just too much. Is that your problem? All you can eat anxiety? That's my a fucking frenzy. So, look, I have all you can eat anxiety. It's just too much. Is that your problem? All you can eat anxiety? That's my problem, I think.

That's a good problem. It is a good problem. It's hard to... And you just want to get your money's worth, right? And then you always leave and go. Some of them are expensive as fuck. I would like to get a nice... Some of them are very expensive. And you don't have a choice. Especially in Vegas. I ate at the Bacchanal.

Do you know that one in the Caesar's Palace? No, but I doubt it's a Bacchanal. People say don't go there anymore. When we went, it was $100 a person. Now I think it's like $125 or something. It was good, but you still go, oh, man, I can't get my money back here. I'm not good at making myself a meal. Yeah.

And that buffet proves that every time. I'm like good at making myself a meal. Yeah. And that buffet proves that every time. I'm like, this is a terrible combination of... It is, yeah. I pick the most disgusting things. They don't go well together at all. I try to optimize for the wrong thing. The plates are a little too small. It's like packing your own bags at the grocery store. I'm like, I have

no idea where to put this stuff. They also, if you notice, they give you little plates so that you feel like, oh, I've already been up to the buffet like four times. You didn't get a full plate every time. And then, God forbid, you're with a woman. You're like, so great. What was the point of this?

All I know. Do you ever tip that grill guy for cooking your meat? Fuck no. Have that little tip jar at the buffet? I thought that was a joke. I also thought that was a joke. I also thought that was a joke. You're supposed to tip. The omelet guy has one too. Yeah.

I'm like, man, it can't be that hard to cook an omelet. Yeah. Let me cook it. Get some meat in here. You're just cooking meat. There's no eggs. Whoops. There's an egg, bitch.

I do want to go to that buffet, though. You want to go to the buffet this weekend? No! I hate buffets! I think if we tag-teamed it, we could, like, make it work. No. Should I stream myself from the buffet? I think people would enjoy that.

Are you getting into the mukbang world? I was thinking, like, you know, if I'm going to eat anyway, I might as well monetize it. All right. Is that... Are you done? That's my problem. Okay, here's my problem is hoarding. We don't need to do this problem on this show.

I yelled that for throwing away a family picture. Oh. I got this picture. I don't need this anymore. Right. I was like, what's wrong with you? You're throwing away a family picture. I said, well, I have a digital copy.

I printed it out from- Did you print it out or was it like- Yeah, I printed it out from the internet. Okay. Or someone had it. Someone has it. Right. Maybe I don't, but Regardless, you think there's another way to obtain it. If I ever want to enjoy that picture, I'm sure I could go to someone's

iCloud or whatever. Okay. I don't need a mountain of family portraits and heirlooms just like, you know, stacked in bookcases. Sure. All through the house like a crazy person. Okay. Hoarding. So you were told not to throw it away. Don't

throw that away. I'm gonna throw everything in the house away. I'm gonna throw every picture in here away. I'll say me and you definitely live very different lifestyles. Why is that? Well, because I look around your house and, you know, most of these surfaces are Looks like an insane asylum. It's very

clean. Perfect. Nothing on some walls. You have that piano, right? Yes. Okay, so like if I had a piano, it would be covered in stuff. You know how aggressive that I've had to be to stop people from covering that piano with anything for years.

Like, do not put that on the... I go, oh, it bears service. I can put some grocery bags down on here. I can leave some books up there. Who cares? Put some DVDs. See, I can't identify with this, Dick. Hoarding is the greatest thing.

That is an American way of life, I think, is to hoard. Trophies. People have trophies from their kids. I think it's the hoard? Trophies. People have trophies. Yeah. Kids. I think it's a way. Kids' pictures. Artwork. Books. Books is a big hoarding thing.

Books is a big hoarding thing. Why the fuck do you have this book? Yeah. Just get rid of it. Throw it away. I have some books I should probably get rid of. Then why people build these little miniature book libraries in their neighborhoods. I have to give books away.

Like an old fridge that they paint like they're homeless living out of a van? It's a little mini library. It's a little library. You guys are so addicted to hoarding shit that you had to make a little tiny library? It is,

yeah, the people who hoard books is interesting. I mean, I'm a problem though because I hoard video games which are, I don't know if it's better

or worse than hoarding books. How many video games do you have, do you think? Let me check. Let me check my list. You have a list? Oh, yeah.

Are you like, I'm going to over under it, 10,000 video games. Let me check. Let me check. Yeah, Dick, I got a guess. At least my video games have held some value. Yeah. Okay. Total, you said 10,000?

10,000 games, I'm guessing. No, no. 3,781. Oh. 10,000. That's a lot. You need 10,000 games. I need 10,000 games.

I don't even know which system has 10,000 games. You need 10,000. You need to buy doubles or triples then. Oh, thank you. Total NES library. You need to end your life or finish then. Oh, thank you. Total NES library. You need to end your life or finish your life with 10,000 video games. There's only 1,400 games for the original Nintendo. So you need all those.

Okay. I'm not getting a complete NES collection. What do you mean? Why not? That's insanity. Yeah. I wonder which console I have the most games for I think it's Game Boy

No Because they're tiny? I just like Game Boy games There's just something about them Why? They're cute They got those little boxes The original ones?

The original and the Game Boy Advance And the Game Boy Advance Okay It's estimated that around 2-6% of the population suffers from hoarding disorder. Isn't this the ultimate extrapolation of American exceptionalism to say not only did we conquer the known world and subjugate all the other races to our culture? Yeah. We. America did this.

Okay. We forced our blue jeans and our Michael Jackson records on all of you. And now all of you across the globe are forced to live small 5% representations of what we indulge in here in America. Where you go, oh, I have record collection. So that's what the mental disorder is? It's manifest destiny, basically. Instead of expanding westward, we're just buying. Expanding inward into our homes and turning them into giant collections of trash for the rest of the world to look at our gross, horrific excess.

Yeah. Dick, you have a company or have talked about a company where people take cardboard representations of their favorite sports and Pokemon figures and encapsulate them pointlessly in plastic so that they can... It's good money. It's good investment. But perhaps... You gotta NFC that shit.

Can you understand that perhaps maybe... That's anti- hoarding. That's anti-hoarding. You're taking it out of your house and letting it go. This is a good detachment. You're creating a digital hoard. It's the evolution of hoarding. It's saying, I no longer have enough room in my house to hoard all the things I want to hoard, so I now need to create NFTs

so I can continue to, I can hoard beyond the footprint that I have in the physical world. It's not a digital hoard though, because it's on the blockchain, so it's not even in your, you don't even have to, it's not like Vouch,

where he's got a lolly hoarding, hoarding pornography. That's a big one. Men hoarding nudes and pornography? Yes. That's trouble. That's not good. You need to eat up a lot of hard drive space that way. You shouldn't be doing that. You should not

be doing that. You're going to end up in a Vosh folder situation. I'm just saying, as a man who is helping people take their hoarding. I'm helping. You're helping. You're reducing hoarding. Step one, get it out of the house.

Get it out of the house. Step two, get rid of the worthless stuff. Step three. But isn't it all worthless? Isn't that the point? No. How's that sports card market doing? Do you track that stuff at all?

No, I only track Pokemon. The sports card market is trash because everybody realized. It's tanking. Well, yeah, because it's like, oh, my God, it's a one of one LeBron James. You're like, okay, how many one of one LeBron James were released in the past five years? 100,000. You're like, I don't think it's like really that exciting. It feels like everybody has a one of one LeBron James at this point.

I don't really follow sports, so I don't follow sports cards. But they do seem like they're getting a little bit too dirty. This is too much. A little isomy. A little isomy. We're getting back to the junk wax era of sports cards. You know that term? Yeah.

Yeah, those are the 90s or something. 91, 89. What is junk wax? Junk wax. Yeah, what's that? That was the period of time when sports card collecting first took off aggressively. Again, it's always fueled by speculation where, like, I think there was probably a big, what's that one rookie card?

Not rookie. That 50s sports card that everybody wants, the baseball guy. Honus Wagner? Honus Wagner. No, not Honus Wagner. It was later on. I could see the card in my mind. Anyway, it might have been Honus Wagner, though.

No, no, he was like 1800s. 1890. 1890? I thought have been Honus Wagner, though. No, no. He was like 1800s. Well, no. 1890. I thought it was like 1910, though. Okay. 1910. Look up Honus Wagner. Honus Wagner.

Are they doing baseball cards? I think they had some 1800s cards. In 1890? He was born. Okay. Wait, wait. He played from 1897 to 1917. We were both pretty right.

So where was the actual card from? I think the card would have been the T206. This one, everyone knows it. Wagner. 1909. 1909. I said 1910s. You were dead on.

I was dead on. All right. I think it was, yeah, so Honus Wagner must have, that was right when old baseball cards, people realized, oh, these are worth money. So now the new ones will also be worth money. Same thing that happened to comic books, which is what I saw him attempting to recreate. He's like, oh my God, you got to get a copy of Spawn number one. It'll just be like Action Comics number one, except there's 10 million of them.

So it'll be worth exactly the same. Hoarding. A lot of that hoarding. Look, I'm a professional hoarder. I think I'm doing a pretty good job with it. Are you making money hoarding? Nah, I'm a professional hoarder. I think I'm doing a pretty good job with it. Are you making money hoarding? Nah, I'm not losing money. Okay. If I...

I'll say this. Semi-pro hoarding. Shut up. If I cashed in my collection, I will have made a profit. That's what Boogie says. I gotta sell all these fucking magic cards. And I can cure my cancer. And he'd rather be eaten alive by cancer Than sell his fucking hoard

I tell you what I'll repost my whatnot link on my twitter You'll get a $5 bonus just for signing up How's that going, whatnot? I gotta talk to you about that box breaking stuff too I'm gonna start taking it seriously I think Because I'm having a lot of fun doing it What is, to you, that phrase

Would mean something different to me having a lot of fun doing it. What is, to you, that phrase would mean something different to me and a lot of people listening. To you, what does, quote, take it seriously mean? Take it seriously would mean I gotta find a reliable source to get product at close to wholesale.

Okay, wholesaler? Okay. Yeah. Too bad we got in big fights with everybody on the internet. No, we didn't get in big fights. A lot of people like us. A lot of people. You think. There's a lot of guys who like us.

Okay. The good. The like not dummies go, hey, Dick and Vito are kind of cool because they call out all the dummies. Okay. Yeah. You know, and then I like Boogie. You want him to die from cancer?

I like him. I just think he wants to die. Look at him. He's expressed wanting to die. He always talks about wanting to die. I just want the ball to go into his hole. You think you're too good for the hole? I would sell cards, sell packs, but I have to be able to get them at a rate where when I sell them, I can make profit.

I don't want people to have to pay a crazy amount. but I have to be able to get them at a rate where when I sell them, you know, I can make profit and not. Yeah. And I don't want people to have to pay a crazy amount. I want them to be able to pay close to. Hoarding is, it affects men and women at similar rates. Does it? Yeah. Hoarding is believed to be a universal phenomenon with consistent clinical features in all races, ethnicities, and cultures.

Wow. So it's even in like Mogadishu. They're hoarding. Rocks. Rocks's even in like Mogadishu. They're hoarding rocks. Rocks. Look at this beautiful rock I found. Look at this piece of clay. It is very different from the other pieces of clay. Either one of those are Mogadishu accents, I don't think.

I don't know what anyone from Mogadishu sounds like. I got to get a new shack because mine is filled with my wife's rock. Would you watch that hoarder show? Were you a fan of that show? I love that hoarder show. It's pretty good. But here's the thing is like- Because they're so like, they're hurting like the whole episode. And they're like, you can see how like they're-

Like sometimes I'm like, it would, like if somebody came to me and they're like, hey, you got to sort through everything you own in 24 hours and figure out what to throw out. I'd be like, oh my God, I would have a panic attack. But then it's like them, and they're like, can't throw out those phone books from 1970. What if I need to call up? And it's like, oh, my God. Come on, man.

I saw some, there's some lady on TikTok who just finds these horrible hoarder houses and goes and cleans them. Oh, my God. Free? Well, that's always the best thing is the, I remember there was an episode of Hoarders Where she's like That fridge never worked since I got it

So don't throw it out I'm gonna return it And they're like it's full of maggots From Diamond Robux They're like I don't think they're gonna let you return This fridge that you've had for 10 years With maggots But it didn't work So your time to return it was when you bought it.

Every time I think a thought even close to that, I just go, oh, trash. God, that is a great show. How did they ever stop making that? That's one of those shows that feels like it could go on forever. It's still on? It's still on? They have new episodes? Yeah, I think so.

Okay, good. Them and Intervention had to change their shooting, I think, because of COVID. Yeah. But there are new episodes. Intervention is my other go-to. You like Intervention, though? I never got to. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at me.

Fucking crazy. I really like it when they're addicted to the most. I say, that guy's got a way bigger problem than me. Oh, man. What a fuck up. The episodes of Intervent. Well, that's the reality show. The reality shows that are popular are the ones where you can watch it and you go, at least I'm not that shitty.

No matter how shitty I am. Yeah, to catch a predator. At least I'm not that pedophile. Love is blind. Wow, their relationship sucks. It's like a really sick genre. I'm trying to become friends with that guy on YouTube, Caleb Hammer. Have you seen his channel?

Oh, yeah, the finance guy? Yeah, the finance guy. He's got a real good gimmick. Yeah. People were trying to give him shit, and they're like, oh, he was mean in his thumbnails with the people. He should be mean. Yeah, he should be mean.

That's what's funny. Totally fucking stupid. They fuck up their whole lives by buying- And they argue nonstop because they're fucking dumb. He's fucked up their whole lives by buying... And they argue. Nonstop. Because they're fucking dumb. Because they think they're going to be the one guy who comes on or girl who's like, well, you know what? You did everything right. Oh, thanks, Caleb.

It really is just unfortunate what happened to you. Yeah. That happens to a lot of people. A lot of people don't understand that credit cards you have to pay off. It's a good gimmick. There's a lot of bad gimmicks out there, but that's a good one. All right. Wait, did I have any more here?

Just a bunch of hoarding. 11 to 5, the symptoms first may emerge. I'm going to say at least I keep my stuff fairly well organized. I put up some new shelves last night so that I have more room to hoard now. Okay. 20% of people with hoarding also have OCD. I definitely have OCD. definitely have OCD You do? Oh you do

Why what did I do? Because you're always adjusting like thumbnails and stuff Oh yeah And like taking down a video reposting the video Do you want to see I've made about 60 different thumbnails For that Ghostbusters video if you want to see them At some point I mean a lot of them are variations, but

there's like six base variations that are shot out with different color schemes. Okay, because I think on YouTube I think the thumbnail is everything. The whole point is you have to get someone to click on the video. Yeah. That's it. Right. And there's only two different parts of that equation.

One, the thumbnail. Two, the title. Okay. Does everyone do that, though? What you're doing? No. And you know what sucks? Is guys like, whatever. I've had videos that got millions of views.

It's probably because I am obsessive and fucked about the thumbnail. Okay? That's the worst part. I am obsessed. Is that you can say, I was a huge success. It's probably because I was so crazy about the thumbnails. I think my thumbnails are pretty good. Yeah, they are. They're all crazy about the thumbnails. I think my thumbnails are pretty good. Yeah, they are. They're all pretty good, though.

I know they're all pretty good. They're all about there. I know, they're all, like, equally good, but I don't know. I have this thing in my mind where I'm like, if I just get the perfect thumbnail. That's what Sean does, too. It's like, ah, 80% of the way is fine. I don't know, man. I don't know.

All I know is that some people on YouTube, for some reason, have access to the one feature that I've wanted forever that, for some reason, is not available to everyone. A, B, thumbnail testing. That's it. Yeah, that should be a given. Marketers have everyone advertising on the platform is allowed to do that. Okay? I should be able to upload two thumbnails, and you tell me which one performs better, and then I can use that to slowly craft my thumbnail strategy and go, oh, okay, this works better. Why don't you have that?

They've only given it to a select number of people so far. Like Mr. Beast. He gets whatever he wants because he buys a train and crashes it into a hole. Oh! That was dumb, that one. That was a real dumb one. I'm like, okay, I kind of think you're out of ideas

now. Yeah. What if we crash a thing? Or the one he did. He should have been inside the train and then derail it and see what happens. He did that one. Oh, shit. What was that Korean show? Not Hunger Games. Red Light, Green Light.

Yeah, but what's the name of the show? Squid Games. Squid Games, yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. So you took the show? Squid Games. Squid Games, yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. So you took the show that was interesting because of all the interpersonal relationships of the characters and their backstories and whatever else, and then just made it without that. But the good part was the red light, green light.

It wasn't any of the other shit. The only reason it got on Netflix is because it was Korean. Yeah. Because of DEI. Let's just take all the plot out. Let's just make everything into a game show. Yeah. Because that's all that mattered. I tried to watch

Squid Games. I was like, where the fuck's Red Light Green Light? They do the Red Light Green Light. It's like the first episode. I skipped a little bit. I don't see it. I don't know. It was the first episode. And I fell asleep. The old man was, you know what? I won't give it away, but keep an eye on the old man in the squid game.

All right, Dick, you ready for my problem? What if there's a Wheel of Fortune series made in Korea? Oh, they cut out all the good stuff. Whatever. Dick, you want to go to my Twitter real quick? Oh, boy, do I.

Because Vito's Twitter. Vito's Twitter Because, uh... Vito's Twitter. Point of Vito's Twitter stinger. Vito's Twitter. Vito being Vito on Twitter. This has been my way of, I realized,

why send dick images when I can just tweet them on the series? Vito being Vito on Twitter. Let's see. Lizzo is, uh... Not that one. Lizzo is retiring?

Not that one. Is that what you're... That's not a problem. That's a solution. She's quitting her diet. Yeah, when she says I quit, I go Is that what you're? It's not a problem. That's a solution. She's quitting her diet. Yeah, when she says I quit, I go, what are you quitting? You're not quitting. I don't know what you're trying to say.

Is there something in the air that fat people, fat attention whores are like? I tried. Gaslight all of us tonight? I mean, I did talk to Boogie, and he's like, I just don't understand why everyone's so mean to me. I'm like, Boogie, you're a fat guy on the internet. What do you mean? Come on. Is that what you're telling him, lies?

It's part of it. I mean, it doesn't help. I talked to Lizzo. I said the same thing. Girl, you're just a fat bitch on the internet, a boss bitch. This is not my problem. You're like Boogie, my friend Boogles. My good friend Boogles.

He crushed his girlfriend, his hot little 21-year-old girlfriend he was showing the bathtub all the time for some reason. He crushed her while he was trying to fuck her because he had two Big Macs in each hand. So he couldn't support himself. It's really weird that there was a period of time when Boogie was like a huge... I remember being at like a YouTuber party and went, oh my god, that's that Boogie guy. I should be friends with him because then I could elevate my internet career. Pick his corpse clean when he's dead. And then I realized if you become his friend, you just have to help

wean him off suicide all the time. It's not nearly as glamorous as I thought it would be. Okay, so there's a new magic. What was Liberace's lover? Matt Damon, remember? Yeah, I don't remember his name. He's going to groom you into being his young lover. I hope so.

When he dies, I'm going to... Behind the cand I hope so. When he dies, I'm going to... Behind the candelabra. When he dies, I'm taking that child bride of his. She's gone, man. She's in witness protection right now. Well, I'm the only one who can help save her. I think I've complained on previous shows about what they're doing to Magic the Gathering. I think this is perhaps the worst thing I've ever seen.

There's a new set called Outlaws of Thunder Junction. Yeah. Remember this was a fantasy game about wizards and warriors and elves and goblins? Well, what if it was about cowboys? Wouldn't that be good too? Okay, well, I don't know. Maybe cowboys could be cool. No, it'd be stupid.

You could have cool cowboys, maybe. But then, the guys making the set said, not only is this a cowboy world, but it is also a world where we let all our shitty writers try to be funny for some reason. It's a furry world also, and also a pun world. It's pun world. Here we have a card. It is a ox angel, and its name is Holy Cow.

an ox angel, and its name is Holy Cow. And you see how the set icon has a little cowboy hat? There's not enough cancer. That should have been my problem. Not enough cancer. What if there was a loan shark who was an actual

shark? For those of you who maybe are familiar with some of Magic's goof sets, you know, Infinity recently, where all the cards are a joke. This is not a joke set. This is a standard legal set from the world of angels and wizards and cool fantasy stuff. In the last unset, they said it's black-bordered, meaning it's not silver-bordered, meaning you could play it with like other...

Some of them are legal, yeah. I hate... I was instantly turned off by that. So, yeah, you can now play Comet Space Pup is a legal magic card. What do you guys? You can play Space Bellerin, which is Jace with a space helmet. Were people clamoring to, like, play the Earl of Squirrel in normal game? They have.

Why did you guys do this? Because their brand strategy is terrible and part of their brand strategy is again to hire a bunch of nerds and rather than tell them just focus on what nerds are good at like really deep fantasy lore and obsessing about weapons and magic but you're not good at making jokes as eviden Jumper. This is a rabbit mercenary. Yeah. Get it? He's a Claim Jumper.

Because he jumps. It should have been like a chocolate cake from Claim Jumper. Big chocolate cake. That would have been better. Claim Jumper from Claim Jumper's restaurant. From Claim Jumper's restaurant. Oh, yeah, I get it. That was a good cake.

You know, Vitoito I have this Ability Yeah I don't talk about it a lot Cause you know It's this unique ability I don't wanna get Put in like the mutant Protection program

By the government Sure Dissected Sure But I can tell instantly When women have made jokes There's definitely that There's definitely that

These jokes are made by women These jokes were made by Or in the presence of women. You know who's doing consulting for Wizards? We're not talking about that. I know that. How do women get in a role where they're butchering and inserting their brand of what they call comedy into a game like Magic the Gathering? I agree. I get that. Okay. I agree. I get that.

Okay. I understand. All right. One more question, Vito. What is the... How did these women get the ability to make this card? What's happened? You're going to say that it's for ESG scores, and I disagree.

I just think it's a cabal of women. I think that women are getting hired for just a bunch of nerd weirdos sitting around and obsessing over diversity. But I don't think it has sinister BlackRock associated overtones. How can you defend this? I'm not defending this. Whatever is

happening is causing this. I agree, but we should focus on making legitimate critiques because the second we go, well, what really needs to change is BlackRock's investment strategies. We can't make any change. You can't be letting women make, if a woman says, I thought of something funny, you say you're fired.

I have to make one other point. Okay, we got our cow joke. Right? It's not even a cow. It's not even a cow. Put a Jersey cow on it. Right. It should be a regular cow. But we got one already. It's already an angel. Why not make it a white cow? It's a great joke, sure. It's like a regular cow. But we got one already. It's already an angel. Why not make it a white cow? It's a great joke, sure. It's like a yak. You get your cow joke.

Did you need another cow joke in the set? Because it's a woman making the... Instead of divine intervention, it's bovine. That's the same joke! You made the same joke twice in the same set! Did you see these cards, Dick? I like these ones you

like the coyote chasing the road on it's it's on the air okay that's the thing if there was one of these it would be fine okay yeah I got it okay the background right a man made this joke who drew these who drew these cards uh who painted them can you read it up there It should say right there That's the name I can't read that far It says something His name is David David and David

Okay These jokes are fine in a vacuum One more thing, Vito The problem is when there's too many of them Let me just see Justina Dura The lady The artist does not come up with the joke

Okay The designers come up with the stupid joke It could have been anything You don't know if a man or a woman wrote the joke But you knew a woman drew the art I know what is good and it was made by a man And I know what sucks I just want

The last point I was going to make is Now that would be a cool holy cow. So this is magic to me, right? It's like cool demon stuff. Do you know Rakdos? Have you ever played Ravnica? He is the head of the cult of Rakdos, an insane cult of murdering demons living on the plain of Ravnica. And you go, wow, what a crazy badass demon guy.

I can't wait to see his adventures. I can't wait to see what he does in Isom 3. What if he put on a little leather vest and a bandolier of crystals and went on a cowboy adventure? So, Dick, the problem that I've tried to summarize this as, I can't blame that on women necessarily. You can literally blame anything on women. I don't know.

I don't know. They've been here just as long as us. The problem I had decided on was this corporate, and not even corporate, just meme culture. Okay. Meme culture. Yes. No. Corporate meme culture I'm gonna say

Specifically cause memes are fun Okay people When people make memes They're funny Look at that Julia Metzger drew Bovine Intervention The artist does not come up What did I say

What the fuck did I say? Do you want to put women in games could be your problem and it'll just win because it's another woman problem? Nah. I'll just save it for another one. I'm just telling you. All right. My problem, Dick, is that this meme culture we've created is fun. It is fun to take things.

And what we do with meme culture typically is take something that was meant to be serious in one context and then kind of lampoon and evolve it into, well, what if this serious scene of Hitler yelling about losing the war, what if he was yelling about the discontinuation of the Choco Taco and how upset he is about that? That would be funny. They discontinued that? Yeah, that was one of the problems I brought in a long time. They brought it back, actually.

I should have done an update. Oh, thank God. Hitler, you did it! Hitler saved the day! Hitler saved the Choco Taco. Memes work because we're taking things from culture and transforming them into memes privately. Right, organically. When the corporations themselves begin creating the memes and manufacturing them.

Because all of those... We've got to seize the memes of production. Let's be clear. All those cards that we just saw were specifically spotlighted by Wizards to go, To be a meme. Hey! Yeah. You see this one?

Why don't you share that on your social profile? Why don't you retweet it? Isn't that funny? Isn't it funny what we did? It didn't exist to... Take it back to Reductress there, Wizards. It was specifically designed to try and get maximum social engagement because all these companies advertise primarily on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, whatever else, and they

just need virality. Yeah. And you can't go viral by going, well, here's a cool new Magic card. It's pretty cool. He's got a demon. He's got a cool sword. card. It's pretty cool. He's like a demon. He's got a cool sword. You got to make Legolas black.

You know? You got to do something eye-catching. That was a meme. That was a good meme. That was funny when we did it. Blacken. And then it's like a guy, turn any white spell black. Turn any white spell black. An enchantment creature.

And he's like, ah! And on this side, then he's on this side, he's like, ah! That's a meme. Yes meme. Now that's funny. That's good. We are living in a culture where these corporations don't understand why memes work. And they work because they're created organically by the people consuming. The thing you made that is real and serious.

And when you try to get in on the joke, you ruin it. A great example was recently, remember Barbenheimer? Where Barbie and Oppenheimer were coming out at the same time. Yeah. Okay. You could say it was a dumb meme, but whatever. People were having fun.

Oh, what if Barbie and Oppenheimer were hanging out? That would be funny. Okay. But then Warner Brothers started getting out on the joke. And at one point, they saw a, what do you call it? There was a movie poster, a fake movie poster of Barbie and Oppenheimer hanging out. And the official Warner Brothers account was making little kissy face emojis. Like, ooh, they're friends.

They're going to fall in love. Do you know what happened after they did that? Gaza attacked Israel. Well you know what happened after they did that? Gaza attacked Israel. Well, that also happened. Here's a group of people who don't really like joking about the atomic bomb. Japanese people. Oh, fuck them. No, that's legitimate.

Well, they shouldn't have bombed Pearl Harbor then. Fucking suck my cock, Japan. The Japanese Warner Brothers Twitter account went rogue and said we are deeply- The Japan The Japanese Warner Brothers Twitter account went rogue And said we are deeply The Japanese what Warner Brothers The official Warner Brothers Twitter account In Japan tweeted out we are deeply ashamed

Of what our colleagues in America are doing The atom bomb Should not be joked about This is a global movie And Oppenheimer It's funny because Oppenheimer... What the fuck is Godzilla then? You fucking assholes have been joking about it for 60 years.

Godzilla is meant to be taken very seriously. Oh, the little baby Godzilla going, Oh my God, that's supposed to be fucking serious? Look, the point is that the Oppenheimer jokes are funny when they're not being made by the people who own the rights to Oppenheimer. Then it stops being funny. Then it's just stupid corporate cringe bullshit. Yeah, I hate corporate cringe.

Corporate cringe is bad. It's super corporate cringe. And this is everything. It's this constant desire for these companies to get in. You got any more examples of memes from corporations? Well, do you remember when everybody was joking around about that Jared Leto vampire movie? Morbius. Morbius.

And they put it back in theaters. And they put it back in theaters because they thought they could- And it tanked a third time. Good! That was great. That should have been your lesson. That, hey, these memes we're making are for us. I feel like they were kind of in on the joke.

They're not genuine excitement for you guys and your product. All right, guys, let's go see Morbius. No, we're not actually doing that. That was a joke. No, we're not doing that. What are we going to do? I'll go to the theater dressed as vampires and yell, it's Morbin time? Like, we're not actually going to do that.

God, what other movie did that guy do? The writer of Morbius. He made some other piece of shit recently. He wrote a different movie? Yeah. What was the next movie he did? I just watched it. It was fucking dog shit.

I don't know. I know Madame Web was bad. That was it. He wrote the same movie? Yes. what was the next movie he did? I just watched it and it was fucking dog shit. I don't know. I know Madam Webb was bad. That was it! He wrote the same movie? Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Yes! Look, I was shocked as well because I said this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Wait, why would they write both of them? That's what I said because of ESG. That can't be true. That's why. Because of ESG.

Just click on the Wikipedia here. Produced by, written, screenplay by Matt and Burke, who also wrote Morbius. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Bro. Listen, listen, listen.

So, you know, leading up to Madam Web, Sidney Sweeney everywhere. Her tits fucking spilling out of her dress, fucking flopping around, people going apeshit. When did you watch Madam Web? A couple days ago. Tried to get us to review that on this channel. I know, but that's a whole... Will you sit down for an hour and talk about the movie? I didn't even want to watch it.

I put it on. I'm like, all right, I'll put something on in the background. Sure. Worst movie ever. But in the movie, she plays a teenage, high school aged explicitly high school aged girl. Right. So if you feel any attraction to her,

you're a pedophile. And I'm like, what the fuck is... That's how they get you to stop objectifying these women. All these women now are gonna go, you have to say I'm a teenager in the movie, because then men can't creep post about me. Yeah, like, what was all the lead up to this movie? Hey, I'm here on Saturday Night Live joking about my fucking tits.

Here's my tits right there. Like, go check out my new movie where I play a 13-year-old girl. Okay. I'm the weirdo? I don't think so. Yeah, you're the creep. I thought you would be in. And then they have, like, a weird cut scene where she's in a Spider-Web outfit, a Spider-Man outfit.

Yeah. And you're thinking, this is before you know she's a teenager. Mm-hmm. And you're like, all right, let's see some tits. But the eyes make her look like she has Down syndrome. Oh, no. Like the cutouts of the eyes because she has fetal alcohol syndrome. Is she the one where they said that they took her and they made her deliberately as unsexy as possible

in the movie? Or is that a different girl? Well, they were all not sexy because they were all in high school. And the main woman was also not sexy because she was a cop or something. Madam Web. You ever watch Red Light Media? You ever watch those guys? Yeah, I do.

Their Madam Web video was pretty great because they were talking about, oh, they did the nerd crew thing where they're like, Madam Web, one of my favorite Spider-Man characters. Oh, yeah, I was a total Madam Web head as a kid. You know, they called me like the Madam Webster and I had all the Madam Web toys. Meanwhile, Madam Web in the comics was like, what, like an 80-year-old lady? Oh, she was real? Yeah, Madam Web in the Spider-Man comics was just like an 80-year-old spider lady.

Well, then at the end of the movie, the main character, Dakota Fannings, is in a wheelchair and blind. I'm like, what the fuck? And she's like, but she can like see time and space. She's like saying shit like, oh, don't apologize. And then the girl like knocked over a vase. I'm like, you got it. Come on. Well, that's in her head.

I get what they're doing. They're trying to make her into a, I guess that's more like. And then the girl like knocked over a vase And I'm like you gotta come on This is fucking retarded Trying to make her into a But they didn't say how old Sidney Sweeney was in that scene Cause some time had passed But you don't know if she's over 18 yet So it's really like annoying The Spider-Man shared villain universe Is shaping up to be a catastrophe

Uh Give people a warning Guys I know that you're looking at my adult woman body And my tits and stuff But I play a child in this movie But I play a little girl in this movie So How about every time she's about to appear on screen

You go, warning, warning It should be before the movie You know they have that like, you know, rated R For portraying a sexy girl as a 13 year old Upside down R. Should be a big P. Pedo alert. Pedo alert. Sidney Sweeney, dumb bitch, decided to

play a child even though it's only marketed with her huge tits. God. Am I going to see Sidney Sweeney naked in this? I sure hope so. We're in high school and not seniors. Okay.

I guess I don't know what to hope for. I hope Spider-Man's in it. But Spider-Man's a bad guy. He's a black Spider-Man. In that movie? Like a black color. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Not a skin color. No. I thought the bad guy was like a spider I don't know I'm not gonna see Madam Web I heard it's just not even like funny Interestingly bad It's just too annoying and then in the movie They've got a scene where the three high school girls

Who are definitely in high school And they say it over and over again Are erotic strip dancing On a table in a diner for no reason Yeah I heard about that. Like, for a bunch of guys, they're like, hey, girls, check this out. And then they're like, da-da-na-na-na. I'm like, what the fuck is this?

A lot of women are really upset about that because they're like, I don't think whoever wrote this movie has ever known a teenage girl, but at no point do we go, hey, a diner full of guys. Let's act like sexy whores and dance on a table. Am I supposed to be attracted to this? Because those are adult women. While Matt Sazama and Burke Sharpless think that this is what you want. Pedophiles. Lock them up.

Lock their ass up. Corporate meme culture is my problem, folks. And that's the bottom line. Okay, so what are our problems? Your problems are too many stop signs. Hoarding. Hoarding. All you can eat anxiety. That's a good one.

And corporate meme culture. Okay. Anxiety, go to biggestproblem.show to vote. Patreon.com slash boogieprobs. We have to get over 10,000. I am so fucking pissed off. I'm pissed that Boogie is still breathing and that our Patreon is under 10,000.

Well, don't forget, if you want to hear the bonus episode, patreon.com slash biggest problem. We'll have a new bonus episode probably next week. We are coming into a new month. If anyone's got any great ideas for a bonus episode, let us know. Sometimes we try to theme them around something that's going on that month. We did Final Fantasy this month because the new Final Fantasy game came out. But regardless, no, it's fine. Nah, stupid.

I need to play more of it. You didn't play it. Yeah, but I watched enough people play it on Twitch. That's not playing it. It's the same shit. The story's just not good enough for three games. It's like, what if the story of Star Wars 1 was stretched out across three movies? It would have been shitty.

Right? You know that's true, though. You can stretch out Final Fantasy, I got no problem. I got more time ghosts. I'm time ghost set. And then Aerith dying is like, lame. Does she die in this one? Spoiler alert.

You should have known it from the original one. Yeah, but she might have died in the third one. don't fucking know uh okay let's see here got some uh voicemails here yeah i just want to say that uh in episode 77 vito said his comic book is halfway done. Okay. Vito, that was a long time ago. That was. Where's the comic book? Well, it's more than halfway done now. Look, it's, you know, haves come and go.

And then you go over the haves. Sell past the sale is what they always say. It's more than halfway done now. Okay, here you go. This one's from Tony from Hack the Movies. Oh, okay. Hi, Tony from Hack the Movies here. I think the biggest problem in the universe is video editors who spend two years working on a video.

I did not do that. And then have the balls to tweet out that they're good video editors uh for a video that's late it gets me so mad it's not late that when the video comes out i get a bunch of people to just say that there's audio issues at random time in the comments just to fuck with the guy who thought he was a good video editor even though he released a super late video i don't know if this had anything to do with Vito taking down the video and re-uploading it, but yeah,

that's the biggest problem in the universe. Lazy video editors who like to pat themselves on the back. Go fuck yourself. Well, first of all, I was confused because a lot of people were going, oh, there's like an audio error here, the audio cuts out. But there actually was a big audio error

that I thought I had fixed the night before when I uploaded, and then I went, oh, what the fuck? I don't know if I uploaded the wrong version or something, but basically the first 30 seconds of the video was just at a way lower volume than the rest of it for no reason. You might have uploaded a wrong version

from eight years ago. Yeah, it's possible. Instead of a new one. I didn't spend the last two years editing it. It's been sitting on my hard drive waiting to be edited, and then I said, oh shit, a new Ghostbusters is coming out. Let's actually get it out. I know a guy who took about that long to make a video.

This is different, okay? This video is not my magnum opus. I'm working on other stuff. I'm glad it's out there. People seem to like it. It's fun. It's funny. There's a little dig at you in there that you seem to have taken some offense to. Oh, yeah. I saw that.

I haven't watched it yet. It's not that big a thing. I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I will say, somebody made a I believe it was Octavio or Octavius whatever his name is. The guy that started all this Eric Gilles stuff. Oh, yeah. Obvious Gnome. Obvious Gnome. Obvious Gnome.

Obtuse Gnome made a great suggestion. He said, how can you not? We talked a little bit about improv comedy, and you get to see one of Dick's classic improv bits. Well, let's watch it. No, I didn't even leave the audio in. Please stop asking people on Twitter about your YouTube thumbnail. I can't stop.

I can't. They think that they know what they want, but they don't. I know, that's true. Pick whatever you think would be best and put it on there. It's also kind of annoying scrolling down the feed. It's like, A or B. Which one, guys? I don't fucking know. You're making the video.

Because I don't have A, B thumbnail testing. All these other fuckers have it and I don't have it. Okay? I don't have AB thumbnail testing. All these other fuckers have it, and I don't have it. Okay? I don't know what gets clicks. Susan, come on. I don't know if people... Give them the AB testing.

Are people going to click more on Bill Murray, or are they going to click more on that fat chick? Do you like your son alive, or are you dead? Is that how you... I'm never getting thumbnail testing, because she's going to hear that. Susan's not even at YouTube anymore. Look, once I get AB thumbnail testing, I never have to ask ever again. Yeah. But I'm big on the thumbnail game.

I'm big on the thumbnail. It's my thing. Okay. I have every thumbnail I've ever made saved in a folder. Oh, really? And there's like thousands of them. And I'll borrow little pieces from them. It's like a little jigsaw puzzle.

Here's something about about Ghostbusters. Go to YouTube.com slash Vito and watch my Ghostbusters video. Hey, Vito. I wanted to congratulate Vito. That was an excellent video on Ghostbusters. Thank you. There you go. And who was that theater kid in the cop uniform?

Anyway. Who was that? I do have to say, you mentioned your strategy last week was that when a new installment in a franchise comes out you're going to put out a video on the previous one because it'll probably come up in the search algorithm no yes however i think most people if they click on your video expecting something about the new one we'll immediately see oh this is about the previous one or in this case about two installments back and click out 99 of the time yeah you know i heard about it through this and i'm a subscriber of yours on youtube so i was like oh hell yeah veto finally uploaded it but i think a lot of people aren't gonna just be like, oh, well, I guess I'll watch this one then. I mean, that's a theory, but...

Go fuck yourself, Vito. Your cat has gone forever. Thank you. It's not gonna be funny forever? I was gonna say that the average view duration on the video is like 17 minutes, which is actually pretty strong. So I think a lot of people, if they start watching a YouTube video, a lot of it is just noise. People just put it on and zone out. They're not thinking that hard about it.

They don't go into it going, oh man, it's not about the new one. They go, ah, okay. This sounds interesting. I'll keep listening. A lot of people just want noise. I have no idea how YouTube picks anything. No, it's a lot of randomness. This is the clip that you put of me in your...

Yeah, he cut it off. Improv. What did he cut off? He cut off me saying, calling you an adult theater kid. What was the timestamp of that? You can probably find it pretty quick. YouTube.com slash Vito. You got these cool little title cards.

Look at that great thumbnail. This past week. You're baiting and switching people with a brand new picture of Bill Murray, too. That's not like, I mean, he was old in the movie, though. But that's an old Bill Murray picture in a Ghostbusters uniform. I saw it. Yeah, I saw it. Go forward like one click with your arrow key.

This one? Yeah. There you go. Oh, wow. Look at that. A little logo and everything. Chapter takedowns. Chapter three.

I'm sick of these. I mean, I have a great formula for video essays. They're just, okay. Should I say it here? Here's what my plan was, and I'll just say it here. Some people come to me and they go, you know, play it first, and then I'll give you the plan. Just play this part.

Well, I'm just playing the part that's about me. Yeah, I know. Comedy sucks. I think it was FDR who said the only thing to fear is being invited to watch your drama-majoring roommate perform improv comedy. What greater horror than spending your Friday night watching a bunch of adult theater kids running around on stage pretending a hemorrhoid cushion is a giant magnet. So first we need a historical example. That's it. That's it.

Isn't that cute? Somebody was like you gotta zoom in on him and go UGH! And I'm like, it's like a little Easter egg for people who like the channel. Where'd you even find this? I remember this, playing this cop. I'll tell you what you have to search for to find it Yeah, what is it? Well, I'll tell you later, because I don't know if you want people to know It's not bad What happens? It uses your dead name I'm sorry to tell you

Oh, I don't give a shit about that Okay, well, if you search for your dead name comedy, you might find it Oh, okay There's a bunch of, there's a couple of these Really? Actually, everyone go download all of them now before Dick asks them to get taken down They would not do anything This was the one that was, uh, you look good as a cop Actually, everyone go download all of them now before Dick asks them to get taken down. They would not do anything.

This was the one that was, you look good as a cop. I got that nice little. Somebody said, wow, he's gotten so fat. I'm like, I have not gotten any fatter than this. I think you look good. Yeah, you look good. I look exactly the fucking same as I do there. I'm surprised you didn't know these are up there. No.

No. Yeah, there's a bunch of. I don't know if they recorded any of those. There are up there. No. Yeah, there's a bunch of... There's some stuff. I think also, what's his name? Uploaded Your Roast as Gaston. Oh, yeah. Andy Signore re-uploaded that because I guess that got taken down

at some point. Some classic Dick Masters and comedy on the internet. I was going to say, look, I get a lot of people who go, why don't you make more video essays? And the answer is, they don't make me any money. So my plan is... Sounds like a good plan. Here's what it's going to come down to is I'm going to come up with a number.

It's not going to be a big number, but it's going to go if my Patreon is at this level. My personal Patreon. Oh, wow. Okay. But that money's not going to me. It's just going to go to an editor. Because that's it. I just have to pay. That Ghostbusters video had like five different editors helping me out. Yeah, you got to find a good finding a good editor. It's very hard

to find a good editor and they want good. Well, I got to pay an editor a good amount of money too. How much? You got all that super killer money that's not going anywhere? I'm not going to waste the super killer money on video essays that are not going to make me anything. I've made $60 on a video that took me probably combined... It's because it took you so long. It wouldn't have mattered if it came out two years ago. Well, this, yeah, but if you made it a brand new one...

There's a number at which I could pay an editor, and pretty much all that money would go to the editors. Okay. How much money? I was thinking three grand a month. How many video essays do you get? One every two months. Six grand to make one video essay for an editor? Yeah.

Is that? Wow. Dude, if they're long, some of these, like, the amount of editing that goes into some of these is, like, almost equivalent to editing a movie together. Because a movie, you don't even have to put any effects. I mean, if it's just, like, a straightforward movie. We're putting, like, graphics. We're making title. People don't know how much shit goes into this.

Those Star Wars ones I made were, like, Herculean efforts of, like, four months of straight editing. At least the big one was. Look, it's whatever. It's sitting in front of a computer and like trying to find the footage that fits the scene and being like, ah, what movie has a scene that's like that and fits here and blah, blah. I didn't know it was so hard to be a YouTuber. It's not when you're just one of these guys who sits in front of a camera and goes, the new Ghostbusters has gay people in it.

There's gay people in it. Don't go to see the new Ghostbusters! When you actually want to sit down and make something with some time into it, yes, there's a huge amount of stuff. If people want video essays... They want long-form essays. What would happen is I would write them, I would record

the audio, I would have the team of editors go nuts on it, and then I would put all the final touches on it and probably throw out all their work because I'm an obsessed perfectionist. I'm just a much better editor than a lot of people. That's a mean thing to say. No, everybody did a great job.

I just have very specific things I want to say. It's not mean. Most people are not editors. Nobody would think, hey, let's put a little clip of Dick doing improv in there. That's a mean joke. It's not editors. Well, nobody would think, like, hey, let's put a little clip of Dick doing improv in there. Like, that's a me joke. It's cute, but it's not necessary. I mean, for me, it's necessary.

Okay. But regardless, no one's ever going to sign up to my Patreon because they don't need to. Don't. Right now, I'm 100%. Do you want the money or not? Shut up. I'm 100%. Well, I should shut up i'm 100 well i shouldn't say 100 because then what okay i'm working on the comic okay that's my big thing so uh i'm not doing a

lot else all right i have room for one other thing maybe and it might be video essays if people want them really badly this guy has an idea i don't think people want them that badly i don't think people want to pay for them you know i know it's been a mystery but i think i figured out why super killer is taking so long and now we're on a tight deadline it's not that every time i go on twitter i'm there for two minutes and i see already at the top veto has tweeted something new in like the past minute that's just a coincidence non-stop tweeting so here's an idea he can't fucking go on twitter till superkiller's done every time he gets a page

he gets an hour I think that's fair you're an idiot that's a stupid plan twitter's my favorite place to be cannot do it okay should we do super chats now? Yeah.

Thank you, everybody. Do we have any interest? Are we going to save? Do we want to talk about it now? What? Our friend and his art book. Okay. If you pay $25, we'll look at one page.

For every $25, we'll look at one page of ISOM I'm worried he's gonna Try to copyright strike people again Go for it It would look bad if he copyright struck this channel For looking at his stupid ISOM art book Fucking copyright strike This channel

Go for it Jackass It's an NDA we're under NDA I NDA'd my're under NDA. I NDA'd my dick in the Soska sister's ass. God, that Rupert Burst, man. He can't write. It's so weird. I hope he fucks better than he writes. You would think a guy who can't write, like you would think at some point, you know, like,

okay, people who don't know how to draw no they can't draw right shut up we have 50 bucks for you to draw something also i know i'm not a great artist i know that but wait i have a voicemail for that do you yeah all right let's hear it vito stop saying you're a fucking artist i am an artist if you were an artist you would be drawing super killer i could not outsourcing it to a fucking artist. I am an artist. If you were an artist, you would be drawing Super Killer. I could. Not outsourcing it to a fucking Brazilian company. I didn't outsource it. You'll never be half the man that Vic King is. Oh, wait.

Oh, man. Actually, you are. The pedophile half. Oh, my God. Stop trying. Oh, my God. Picasso Vito. Comic book artist Vito.

Always with the terrible anatomy. Hi, Dick. Fuck you, Vito. Wow. I drew one of the Super Killer trading cards. Did you see that? No. Where would I have seen that?

Go to the Indiegogo real quick. Okay. I mean, it's a tracing in many ways. Indiegogo. Yeah, Super Killer. How do I find it? Go to superkiller.org. It'll automatically redirect.

Okay. You drew one of these? Yeah, go. $84,000? Yeah, we're doing great. Whoa, you better go, man. If people send me stuff to burn, if you don't beat Deadpool, I have no choice but to burn it. Okay.

You know that. I know that. I'm, like, locked in. I have no choice but to obey the whims of people. Don't send dick things to burn. This is not necessary. It could be amazing stuff. Amazing stuff. I think we might...

Only send good stuff to that. Only send good stuff. I think we're going... If you go down, you'll hit the trading cards. I think the plan... And I'll just... You know what? I'll just commit to it. We're going to end the Indiegogo campaign at the end of April. That's it. You're cut off. Okay. So if you want the comic... I mean, you'll be able to end the indiegogo campaign at the end of april and that's it you're cut off okay so if you

want the comic uh i mean you'll be able to buy like the normal edition but if you want the first edition or any of the exclusive no keep going down you'll see the different ones which one did you know i should have done the updates hold on i'll get to it what What the hell? I'm hitting the updates. There are updates. Okay. There are updates. This one. Bonitas.

Yeah. I did this one. You did that one? Yeah. How long did that take? A day. It's based on an existing piece of art So I used that It's like a reference

He doesn't have like a shoulder What do you mean he doesn't have a shoulder Like it's just like a curve Like a miniature golf course Well it's based If you want to look up the original The original was Death Ray

Look up Death Ray comic You can see what I based it on so i think those comments are reserved for this hit the images tab and you'll find the cover i'm sure this yeah that okay did you trace it i put i mean i put the original image down and then yeah i traced it it's a reference it's like a it's an homage it's a little i didn't the face is different exactly well i changed some things the gun is different the face is so if we like did it fade between this and yours go back to mine yeah it's different but did you trace? I put it down to look at. So, yeah, it's, like, pretty close.

Nah, yeah. So, his, he's got, like, he's got a bunch of extra lines and shit. Well, the material has, like, a weight to it here. Well, it's a different material. My guy's wearing, like, a skin-tight suit. But there's no seams or, like, hems on his suit? No, no. Okay.

And it also, also like his bunch is up here a little bit. Like there's more artistry here I think. Oh yeah. I mean Daniel Klaus is clearly a better artist than me if that's what you want me to say. I'm not arguing that point. I'm just saying I did a pretty good fucking rendition I think. The angle of the gun's off but I'm changing

that for the final. Yeah the angle of the gun's a little off. The barrel. The barrel of the gun is fucked. Did you trace any other things? The background is a stock image, I'll say that. Okay. Whatever. The face was 100% freehand. I did the face myself.

Wait, the face? Let me see. Yeah, the face ain't that bad. The face is just like a line. The face is just a line. Well, look. I think I did fine. It's just like a frowny face line.

How to draw anime book. Well, that's what I draw. I draw shitty anime fan art. It's whatever. It's fine. How much did you charge for that card? $75? The cards are free.

They come with the thing. Everybody who buys the comic gets the trading cards. That's a fair price. I'm too giving. Everybody's getting a comic gets the trading cards. That's a fair price. I'm too giving. Everybody's getting a great deal on this comic book. They just don't get the comic, but they get to think about what they're going to get at some point. That's almost as good as

getting the comic, right? Thinking about the endless shit you might get. Unless Vito drops dead of a heart attack at the all-you-can-eat buffet. I'm going to eat too many shrimp shit lines and die in my sleep. That's disgusting. I did a great thumbnail for our most recent episode.

I saw it. It was good. It was very good. Well, guys, we're going to read some super chats. If you'd like to be in on the fun, get your super chats in. Current bounties on the board, $25 for a page of the Isom art book. Yeah. $50 for a drawing. Stupid drawing for some reason. $25 for a page of the Isom art book. Yeah. $50 for

drawing. Stupid drawing. $50 for the Pirates times. $50 to make the Pirate come out and that will not happen until at least we are like halfway done with these. Yeah. Thank you. I'm so glad. You got the menu. Koof for two. Thank you for not

killing yourself. Thank you, Koof. Gunranger for five. Vito hates anti-woke marketing, but then uses it to sell his comic. The video on his Twitter is cringe. Stop worrying about merch and get the comic done. Hey, what sales? So, I'm not worrying about merch. The merch is locked in. I have to make it. I can't not make it.

People paid for it. That's quite... The merch is going to be great. We're finalizing the plush toys right now. You just made such complicated merch, like lunchboxes and pods and shit. Yeah, I know. Because you know what? It's a fun challenge to me.

It's a super killer themed blender. The lunchbox is relevant to the story. A lunchbox plays a part in the super killer mythos. So people who get in on the lunchbox are going to be very excited. Hosman for five. Vito slumbers. Comic overdue. Being lazy.

The deadline flew. Deadpool is coming. Let's go to the movies. No comic, no weight loss. Vito likes cuties. What a wonderful poem. That's beautiful. Turkey sandwich for five.

I, Vito, just want. No, I'm not doing this. Wonderful poem. That's beautiful. Turkey sandwich for five. I, Vito Giswalt. No, I'm not doing this. They want me to consent to you being a pirate as if it is a legally binding contract, and I refuse.

Hazman for five says, Vito the pig. I'm not reading any pig comments. Vito, you're skipping super chats. I'm skipping super chats. That's bullshit. I don't care. I'll read it. You read it. Vito the pig, big and round, in a pen he waddles all around.

Belly full of linguine, a smile so wide. He's the chubbiest oinkster with nothing to hide. That's incredible. That's a compliment. Yeah. You have nothing to hide. I'm a very hungry individual. David N., for a big $50, says, per the terms of your contract, it's time for Captain Dick.

I'll save that for a little later. I'm too excited. I need a whole intro theme like The Undertaker. I know. You need a fog machine. If you could just press a button. I'm gonna get a fucking fog machine. You should get a fog machine.

I'm getting a fog machine right now. And then from out of the fog, as the fog is up, you throw on the coat and the fog dissipates. I appreciate the theatrics of a fog machine. Diamond G for 555 says Yara Masterson, summon the captain.

Jacob Sirisa for 800 Japanese yen. Dick, tell Vito what a great project manager I am for backed by, so he'll let me sort out Superkiller before Ryan Reynolds beats him to the punch. He's great, but I think it's too late for you to get somebody new on. If you made six pages in a day. It's going good.

In a week, then you're fine. He's cranking it. Moonmilk for five. He doesn't have the time to onboard you. I agree that you're great, but maybe for the next one. Moonmilk for five. Last episode was Keno. I think Vito's pain is required for our gain, so please, Captain Masterson, keep it one. Moonwalk for five. Last episode was Keno. I think Vito's pain is required for our gain.

So please, Captain Masterson, keep it up. Dominic for five. No one ruined the bit tonight looking at you, Disciple of Dagon. Okay, it's coming. Okay. Fog machine's on the way. Is that the right kind of fog machine? What do you mean?

It's got 100% pedo content. It better be 100% pedo-free fog machine. Because I saved 11 bucks with this order. I'm very excited. Dumb username for five. So, Noel, what's your evidence that Vito is a pedophile? Well, I'd murder him and not feel bad about it. Yeah, great, Noel.

Case closed. I'm so convinced that Vito's a pedophile if Joe Biden himself asked me to murder. I was thinking again about Noel's attempt to ridicule my comic script where he went see at the end where this character is in an uncompromising situation with a female that's Vito commenting on his own situation. I'm like

I don't know if he believes that or he's doing a bit or No, the way to make fun of it is saying he's secretly a rapist. That's the... I've had a couple He has people in his audience though who, who just repeat whatever he says. I know, it's weird. So they've been going, oh, Vito's self-insert comic. And I'm like, self-insert's the girl.

Yeah. Yeah. That seems pretty obvious. It's not the guy. Yeah. Anyway, you know, because I'm a woman and I'm beautiful. Johnny Rico for 10. Vito, great job sniping dick at 13 minutes in your Ghostbusters video

When you're making fun of theater kids You got a fair It'd be easy to miss when not actively watching Dick, why is Vito so jealous? Because he's fat You can't say fat on YouTube? I have no idea Wow, that sucks

Maybe he was trying to say F to the T Koof for 5 Weren't you going to get rid of your couch to fit more toys? Now you got two I have no idea. Wow, that sucks. Maybe he was trying to say F to the T. Coup for five. Weren't you going to get rid of your couch to fit more toys? Now you got two. One of them's got a... He went for a TBF there. Thanks for not getting bed bugs. I did get a new couch.

Off the side of the road? Side of the road. It's nice, though. I didn't see... Wouldn't you see bed bugs? No. No, you wouldn't. Well, normally if people have bed bugs in their thing, they put a sign on it that says bed bugs.

Don't take. Don't just leave it on the side of the road. I go around and rip those signs off. It was nice. It was around your neighborhood, too. And this is nice. Is there a lot of bed bugs in this area? There's a lot of bed bugs.

Bed bugs and carpet beetles. But they're big. You see them. They only come out. They're only big When they come out Well it was in my car For like a week So they'd just be in there

The couch was in your car For a week? Yeah it was in the back of my car Until I moved the old couch out Oh You were driving around With a couch in your car? Yeah

What an odd What an odd duck And then Because I can't get in touch I tried to get You know how they have those Like bulk pickup For the trash company Yeah pickup for the trash company?

Yeah. Oh, for the trash company? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I was like, can you come pick this up? And they're like, yeah, what's your account number? I'm like, I'm renting an apartment. You guys pick up our trash.

I'm putting it on the street. Like, yeah, we need your account number. I'm like, no, you hand all the trash for the city. Just come to my apartment and take it. It's on your trash bin, the account number. The account number's on the trash bin? Well, they could have told me that, and then multiple emails were just like, can't help you, dude. Sir, what I'm going to need you to do is one of those.

Yeah, so I just took a, I have a band, so I ended up just cutting up the couch and shoving it in the dumpster. I think that's what my neighbor was doing. I saw him outside angrily ripping a chair apart. Yeah. What the fuck are you? I don't care. It was actually a lot of fun to completely dismantle a couch. I used a knife to cut off all the padding and the seats and everything, and then just

sawed it into pieces. I was like, hey, this is way better than anything. Okay. How often do you get to just saw a thing? Yeah, that's true. It's pretty fun. It's pretty fun. Let's see. Cool for two. Bed bug veto. Good luck that's true. It's pretty fun. It's pretty fun. Let's see.

Cool for two. Bedbug Vito. Good luck with your bed bugs. I haven't seen any. I'm getting a little itchy though. I demped with 10C for two Australian. I shart myself daily. Pineapple Man for two. Vito, I don't hate you. Shout out to Bag of Schmidt. Thank you, Pineapple Man. Justin Royland

is here for two. Hey, Vito, I sent in Mother's Milk last week. You don't have to tell me. I can just assume you're all sending in Mother's Milks. I'm out. You're out. Of Mother's Milks. I was in Dick's kitchen, and I just touched some stuff on his counter because I got him.

Because you snoop. I'm a snooper. Everything in my... You're always sorting through my... Rooting through my stuff. There's fun stuff in there. There's like little treasures. That is not for you to look at. I know. And then I my... You're always sorting through my... Rooting through my stuff. There's fun stuff in there. There's like little treasures. That is not for you to look at.

I know. And then I saw... You're like uncovering shit. I saw a preview of one of the things that I'm sure is going to end up in Vito's toy box. You guys are really going with a theme, I guess. Lord Pepsi for five. How can Ripa... What was it?

If you could describe it in one word. It was a poster of some French girls. Yeah. Yeah. Looked like a poster. Low was a poster of some French girls. Yeah. Yeah. Low res. Low res poster too. Was it low res? Yeah.

So it was like handmade? No handmade goods, I'm going to say. Well, somebody handmade it. Probably not the person that sent it in. If you're at the point where you're using your ink check printers to print out a sign that says, Vito's a pedophile and sent it in the show, I don't think that fits the spirit. Don't send that it to the show. I don't think that fits the spirit.

Don't send that to the burn box. I don't think that fits the spirit of the bit. Lord Papsy for five. How can Ripa and Co. say everybody's welcome here, but also say they got to gatekeep Wokies? Because they say whatever they want. Because he's a hypocrite. They have no idea what gatekeeping even means.

They don't know how to make things. Idempotency for five. Because it's a cult. Because Eric July has a shrinking set of pay pigs, audience members who will support him, and he just gasses them up with what they want to hear. It's not about the comic or even entertainment at all. It's obliquely related to these things, but it has nothing to do with them. Isn't it kind of interesting to see him try to find out the exact amount of money he can

get out of each of them? Forever. Forever. And then plot it. But I think he thinks it will go up. And it will not. Which makes no sense. Because he's drinking the Kool-Aid. He tried to drop the price. Yeah. With AlphaCore. Thinking that more people would buy it. More people would buy it if it's cheaper.

What he should have done is said, $35 they're willing to pay it. More people would buy it if it's cheaper. What he should have done is said, $35. They're willing to pay it. They're very stupid. Yeah. And just keep on that path forever. But then he went, how about $150 for a signed CGC, whatever. And you're like, man.

I've talked about it. You have to create a secondary economy for your thing. No, he doesn't. He doesn't care. No, but in any, well, if you're doing, if you're trying to be a secondary economy for your thing. No, he doesn't. He doesn't care. No, but in any... Well, if you're trying to be a force in comics, comics are meant to be a collectible. Otherwise, you would just buy them digitally, right?

Yeah. Okay, you're buying it because you want something to collect. Whenever you buy a collectible, you want it to retain value. You don't want to buy a Franklin Mint plate and then find out five years later, hey, that was a waste of your money and you're an idiot. You want to go, it's at least worth what I paid, if not a couple bucks more. But you have to divorce yourself from the secondary market.

You have to go, I'm going to give it to you, and I hope you get a great deal on it. And I hope five, ten years from now it's worth more than what you paid and you don't feel like an idiot. What idiots do is they go, oh, my Beanie Babies are selling on the secondary market for $100. That means I should charge $ hundred dollars per beanie baby and it's like no no no no no no no no don't even think about that secondary market you have no interest in it it has nothing to do with it magic's doing the same guys are giving eric a lot of credit i feel like i'm the only one that walked in saying oh you have an 85 iq probably less you're trying to get everything that you can get right now.

And you're talking about comics like they're drugs. And they are to these people. To the people buying it investing in your getting a piece of a successful black millionaire

a token. Getting a piece of your token is worth about 150 bucks a piece to these lame white people. Right. The ultimate betas, we'll call them. That's what you're doing.

It's a good plan, but it's got to diminish in utility. It's that one guy who we said isn't $100 for a fall cover too much. He said, well, how can you put a price on something that's going to 10x in five years? And he went, that's your audience. There you go. And you should sell to that guy. The price is how much money you have to give Eric July this year Right

And he'll find it Probably gonna be 400, 500 bucks Stanley was on the internet all the time calling people the F slur Like literally every other day Oh, I'm Stanley! Excelsior, all you F slurs! Did Stanley try to fuck any of his employees? Did he hire any twins to work for his company? Why are you so

gun-shy about that one? You saw how he's rubbing up on her. He's practically getting a fucking... I've taken guys to a strip club who are less handsy with strippers. I think the Saskas are women of God, as I've been told, and they would never engage in challenges with a married

man that is against you. I'm just saying Eric has them over the barrel, figuratively, probably not literally. He's probably not getting any pussy, but he's obviously sexually harassing them on camera. Do you think? I think that's stupid. I think Eric July is putting them in a situation where they can't rebuff his advances, and he's getting too handsy. It's fucking obvious.

his advances, and he's getting too handsy. It's fucking obvious. If you've ever employed a woman, do not grab her, grope her, touch her, caress her, give her lingering hugs at all. Don't do it. It's crazy. It's fucking crazy that he's doing it. It is a bad idea. We just saw a comic professional get canceled for texting with a 17-year-old, I believe it was.

Yeah. She's leading him on for a year, getting his dick hard, and then all of a sudden, hey, I'm ready to launch my career. It seems unfortunate what's happened there. What's his name? Ed Piskor? Where you go? He didn't really say anything crazy.

They were talking about fear and loathing in Las Vegas, and she's like, hey, we can be in fear and loathing. We can go on a crime spree. And he went, ah, you're a naughty girl, you know? Because she's literally talking about committing crimes. Yeah. Not like, ooh, you're naughty. Let me see your bits or whatever.

But, you know, whatever. Guys, stop giving these broads the time of day. Don't text with women at all. They don't love you. No. Nobody loves you. Well, they love attention. They love the attention you can bring them. They're all Satan. Oh,

God, when Boogie breaks up with that girl, we're gonna see a lot of weird texts, huh? We're gonna see a lot of weird texts. He should kill himself. Boogie, don't send that girl any pictures. I don't care. It's too late. Don't. Stop now. It's too fucking late. Oh, God. How many pictures of your penis did you send that girl? We're all gonna see Boogie's

penis within the next five years. I guarantee. His cancer-ridden penis? His cancer-encrusted penis that he hasn't seen. Everyone else is going to see Boogie's penis that he hasn't seen in years. Boogie, stop sending that girl pictures. It can only end badly. You think he's going to carve her name on his...

Cut her name onto his arm and send it to her? Look how much I love you. Can you send me a naked picture of you that I can put on my video? I think it's all going to work out. They're going to get married once this stalker situation is dealt with. You see how he accelerated their intimacy publicly? Does everyone see what an abuser does? I just want the kids at home to see that.

That that's a very big red flag. I just want the kids at home to see that, that that's a very big red flag. He's, um, it's a very unconventional relationship. Let's put it that way. Not anymore. Not anymore. Uh, I Dempsey for five Australian. Every day is a chance to poop pants.

A chance to start to shart. Paul Blart, Riley and friends for five. Nevermind. I misread. There's no super chat, by the way. I don't get Jesus Jesus Christ A little racist By the way By the way I don't care

For a certain people With a certain skin color Okay Johnson and Rowland for two Boogie should send his shit To Vito's booty No Boogie needs to sell that shit Nah give it to me

To fix his blood cancer I'll buy it Tevin Daniels for five Evening Vito He should give it to that girl He should tell her That he's gonna give her All his magic cards It's like a show of good faith I gotta He should give it to that girl. He should tell her that he's going to give her all his magic cards.

It's like a show of good faith. I got to get on the boogie, Will. It's a dowry. That's the goal. You're blinded by greed for toys. I am. Fucking Retro Rick taking all of Boogie's games. Should have gone to me.

Retro Rick called Boogie a pedophile. Did he? Yeah, I don't know why Boogie's buddying up with him. Yeah, Boogie, what are you doing, man? Retro Rick fucking hates. Retro Rick told me in private. I think I heard that, too. He intimated it. He didn't say it. I tricked that pedophile Boogie into giving meying up with him. Yeah, Boogie, what are you doing, man? Retro Rick fucking hates... Retro Rick told me in private. I think I heard that, too. He intimated it. He didn't say it. I tricked that pedophile Boogie

into giving me all his video games. You shouldn't be selling it to Retro Rick. You should be selling it to me. Retro Rick DM'd me and said I conned Boogie into giving me his stuff. Well, what are you going to do? Tapping Daniels for five. Evening, Vito. While I wait for Superkiller, I've taken the time to start writing a story of my own. Second draft is done.

Currently being edited. Fantastic. Is it good? Probably great, I my own. Second draft is done. Currently being edited. Fantastic. Is it good? Probably great, I'm sure. Coup for two. Crossword puzzles are better than jigsaw puzzles. All right. You had your big jigsaw excursion. 89th.

Out of? Out of the whole world. Out of the whole world. The whole nation. It was a national competition. That's one way of looking at it. 89th, man. How many people were in the room?

How many puzzling teams? I mean. Some like 100 or so. 100 of the best. Of the best. The best of the best. 100 of the best. Of the best.

It's an honor just to compete is what you're saying. Uh-huh. What happened? What do you mean what happened? Well, I mean 89th is not, you is not the best score you could have put up. Because we're not good at puzzles. Did you have to qualify in any way? Or did you just show up?

No, you just sign up. Okay. For fun. So you showed up for fun. What's the entry fee? We were wearing cool track suits, though. Did you guys match? Everyone loved the track suits.

Yeah, I saw a lot of people posting Dick Masterson looked very disrespectful today in his tracksuit, protruding nipples. What was the entry fee for this puzzle expedition? Nothing. It was free. It's a free competition. Yeah, there's a yearly membership fee of 20 bucks. Okay.

Mostly everyone was being good in the chat, too. They were doing bunnies. Okay. Nobody was going too crazy Cobbled people were doing n-words Don't do n-word chains I saw that Well I don't like that you did it

But I understand that it's funny Can you imagine if you got banned from puzzling Because your fans can't not do n-word chains The reason I didn't announce it beforehand Is because I thought that it would get banned Yeah They would get us banned And that would

That would ruin your... That would strike your heart. I think I should have been on the team. Why? I think I'm a better puzzler than you. Okay, that's not what it's for. What do you mean? It's not about being good at puzzling.

Yeah, it is. It's about who's the quickest. No, no, it's not. I don't think you were... Not for us. I don't think you were putting in the effort. I think you were, like, treating it like a goof. I did all the Adderall in the world.

What are you talking about? I should have been drinking. What think you were like treating it like a goof. I did all the Adderall in the world. What are you talking about? I should have been drinking. What was your strategy going into it? Do the edges and then put all the pieces on her side. Like find all the pieces that she was doing so I don't have to do all the thinking. Shouldn't one person be doing edges while the other person sorts by color? I don't know. Did you look up any puzzling strategy before you went into it?

No, but I was talking to this hot Asian lady while she was in the bathroom who was selling puzzles. She said something like that. She was selling puzzles. Which one of you is the sorter? I was like, I don't know. I guess me. I heard there was...

At what point did you realize a piece was missing? When the judge said... Well, right before that, actually. Ah, fuck it. We're done. I'm not. But how much time. They forget pieces all the time, you know. You left a piece in the bag of the puzzle.

Yeah, I did leave it in the bag, and I said I wasn't going to leave it in the fucking bag. You actually had discussed this beforehand. No, because I always do that. You always leave a piece in the bag. And I said, okay, the one thing you can do is not, the one thing you have to do is don't leave a piece in the bag. Were you the guy, though, at the puzzle competition going, clearly I've been gypped.

Yeah. A piece is missing. Yeah, because there was an extra piece. And I said, well, this fucking extra piece here, they cut away. Thank God the camera cut away before I finally said, fine, I'll look in the box since you're being such a pain in the ass. And I look in the box. But there was an extra piece?

Well, probably just I took it from the other table next to us. So you stole someone else's? What is wrong with you? And then I thought my first thinking was, well, this corner piece must have gotten transmogrified into this piece. I mean, I guess if I had. At the factory. At the fucking factory.

They did this. It's a factory defect. There's so many factory defects in puzzles. Why don't they figure this shit out? So not only did you fuck up your puzzle, but you were stealing pieces from other tables. Yeah, but I told them next to us. I was like, hey, this is your piece, by the way. Yeah.

Well, are you guys- But who cares? They're in like 91st, 90th place at least. Some people are just there for the fun. Some people aren't taking it seriously. I get it. And we fucked up our free lunch. What?

They didn't say there was going to be free sandwiches there. So we stopped and got fast food. And then you came back and everyone's enjoying sandwiches? We walked in and there's like a whole fucking sandwich bar. Should we take one for later? 22 bucks down the drain. No, we don't do that. Well, I would have done that.

Yeah. It's a little bit of all-you-can-eat anxiety. You go, I could add free sandwiches? Come on! I mean, you so rarely done that. Yeah. It's a little bit of all-you-can-eat anxiety. You go, I could add free sandwiches? Come on. I mean, you so rarely get a free lunch. I want to go to the next one. I think that I'm going to get a team together. Okay.

Do that. We'll see who comes in first. I'm going to get an Asian kid to sort all the fucking pieces. Good luck with your history. Asians love me. Kids? Not an Asian of any person. An Asian man. An Asian man. One of your rent boys. Good luck with your history. Asians love me. Kids? Well, not an Asian of any person. An Asian man.

An Asian man. One of your rent boys. One of my rent boys. Oh. I'm going to say if you fuck up this puzzle, I'm going to pound your ass into the ground. All right, Dick the Puzzle King. Driven low. 89th is real bad.

It's not 90th, though. I would have thought you would have at least gotten the tie. You guys are both in your prime in some way. Well. Not really. Not in your prime, but at is real bad. It's not 90th, though. I would have thought you would have at least got the tie. You guys are both in your prime in some way. Well, not really. Not in your prime, but you're at least your... There's a 12-year-old kid there. Yeah, but you guys have like an IQ, you know? The fuck does that have to do with puzzling?

This is pattern recognition. Sorting. I've trained myself out of pattern recognition. You should have went in and just do they let you wear costumes? Is there like a dress code? I don't think they have any kind of rules against dress codes. You should just make it into a spectacle.

You go, the Puzzle King has arrived! And you have a cloak. I wasn't there for me. I think it would be fun for everyone. I wasn't there for my satisfaction. Let's spice it up. You can be the Puzzle King. No, I'm not turning it into a big retarded spectacle. I think it would be fun for everyone. It wasn't there for my satisfaction. Let's spice it up. You can be the puzzle king. No, I'm not turning it into a big retarded spectacle. I think it would be fun. Clap to have to destroy for five.

Vito's booty live is inevitable, and I can't wait to witness it. We've got to do a live show. We've got to talk about that. I told you when Super Killer's done, let's have a big launch party. Yeah, we'll do that, but we should do one before that, no? I mean, is that the problem? Because you don't know. We're never getting a live show because that comic's never coming out.

JJ Cruzen for 10. Fast acting cancer is the answer. A with a big $2. If you say you have cancer, I want dead in six months. That's how you do it. A gives us $2. Thank you. Shit Lips for 10.

Vito, a lot of us are handy in fixed things. We just don't make it worse because that's the opposite of fixing. True, true. Nah, I'm sure you fuck things up. Mick Quiznos for five. Dick's fake Keemstar yelling impression was spot on. That was pretty good. Yeah, it's so fucking fake.

He's, uh, he's in... I'm performing a boogie! He's not even, like, listening to what he's saying when he yells. Yeah. It's like, bro, you're not even mad at the right thing. I don't get the Keemstar. Boogie, how could you not use a coaster? When I watch that show, I'm like, man, I wish Keemstar wasn't here.

He keeps derailing this whole thing. Man, I wish none of you were here. And I mean on Earth. That's what I think. We like Tommy C. Wait, is he still on it? Yeah. Oh.

I wish it was just the Tommy C show. Tommy C, I think, is doing a good job. Jared M. Sean for five. Vito, not sure how last week you said DigiBro is an online moniker when actually, despite the comic book feud, Eric July is actually, are you trying to say monkier? Like a racist joke? Is that what you're trying to do? Moving on.

Dog Fredify for 10. The way Dick said you have to get Superkiller out, I used to help me lose weight. Whenever I think about eating like Vito, I immediately hear Dick saying you have to lose weight. I've been eating pretty good this week, I think. You're lost, though. Chicken.

Young guys, though. They have to lose weight. Koofer 2, Super Killer, is lost forever. Jacob Buckingham for 10 pounds. We need to stop tempting Vito with more stuff. He already lives in a Christian house. I'm trying to sell that stuff. Come buy my stuff. Hold on.

I need to hear this song. Okay. Guys, go to my Twitter. I'll make a whatnot app link can link you can come uh buy all my crap uh what was it now or never yeah uh it's my life where is it on here do you see it no uh vote it up vote it up. I wanna vote it up.

I'm not in love. Do you really not see it? I'm looking. Come on! Really? Did you delete it? Did I trash it? Huh. It's My Life is the song.

It's my life. It's My Life is the song It's my life It's now or never Vito's cat is lost forever I guess it's gone Well, somebody, if you saved it, send it back in Because Dick loses all our favorite things What the fuck? I can't see from this far away.

I can see. Go back. Let me see. What is voted off style? Colt? Okay, so it would be in here. Gin and juice. Yeah. Blitzkrieg bop. Everlong fat lip. What is Gilligan's Island?

Is it fat lip? No. It is definitely not fat lip. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm 100% sure. I want to vote? No. It is definitely not Fat Lip. Are you sure? I'm 100% sure. I want to vote it up. I'm not in love. Vote it up. Is it Lyle? Maybe. Maybe this one? What is this one? No.

No. God, it was shitty too. No, it's not that one. It's this one. Yes, it was shitty, too. No, it's not that one. It's this one. Yes, it is. Yeah, that's it. Vote it up. It's now or never.

Vito's cat is lost forever. I just want to vote while I'm alive. This guy should actually make music. Vote it up. I think he sounds... Eric Shane by Riley. I'm gonna fucking suffer, kill your family. Better vote it up while they're alive.

Vote it up. People are trying to say this is AI, but I don't think AI would sound like this. The voice? Yeah, that's AI. That's AI? I think so. The way it stumbles across the words a little bit?

Yeah, here, let's see. Fold it up It's now or never Vita's cat is lost forever I just wanna vote Right? It sounds extremely auto-tuned. Vote it up

It's now or never Vito's cat is lost forever It's gotta be AI. It is a weird inflection that no human being would typically do Fold it up It's now or never Vito's cat is lost forever

It's gotta be AI Alright It's pretty good Sorry for the interlude Everyone gets Everyone's had that stuck in their head For like a month now I get so many people going

Can you Pies post that? I gotta put it on the website. I got to make a website page, which is just all stingers. Send me all these in like an email or something. Or put them on a Dropbox. Roberto. A Rezine for two. Dick is Robert Goulet 2.0.

Vito equals sports bookie. Goulet. Goulet. Goulet 2.0. Vito equals sports bookie. Goulet. Goulet. Goulet. Chud Bronson for five. Canadian. Vito, you will always be failure till you do more. Lots of love to you and Dick.

I don't think there is lots of love, though. I feel like that is a deeply unloving statement. Oh, God. Justin Coley for two pounds. We need Tim Chang's pew, pew, pew, pew. Is that guy still making music? He was a music guy, right? No, he's a comedian.

Okay. Ryan McGibbon for two. I did not bugger my missing cat to death, I swear. That's me saying that. Okay. To Tim for two. If you could write for a Marvel character, who would you pick? Deadpool.

And I would make it so he does not go from universe to universe killing superheroes. That would be my take on the character. Doing anything other than that. Yeah. Who is your favorite Marvel character? I don't know. Me neither. Marvel?

Yeah. All this stuff has been just driven to the ground at this point. I don't know. Me neither. Marvel? Yeah. All this stuff has been just driven to the ground at this point. We're just thinking about Marvel makes me feel exhausted. I want to say Cyclops. I just like Cyclops. Oh, yeah. I wanted to do more with that guy.

Just make him a complete... I don't know. I like that he's an asshole. I don't know all of them. You know, like the X-Men. You know, Spider-Man. X-Men? X-Men. X-Man. Oh, X-Man of them. You know, like the X-Men, you know, Spider-Man. X-Men? X-Men. X-Men. Oh, X-Men. I think there is a character named X-Man.

I could be wrong. Mine is Adam X, the X-treme, which I believe was Cyclops' kid from the future. He's got blades and a skateboard because it was the 90s, and then they went The future is skateboarding? They went, why the fuck did we make Adam X the X-treme?

This is the worst. And I believe he's been retconned. That's terrible. Yeah, that was the hype, I think, of X-Men hype, Adam X. Michael winning for two. The Discord wants Kurt Metzger on. Gun Ranger for two. Four Lions leaves Prime in five days.

Check it out. What the fuck is Four Lions? I don't even know. Justin Brodak for five. Carving your name problem was the dumbest shit ever. Even dumb for Vito. No, that was a great problem. Jgar for two. Who loves NDAs more? Eric Schleyer or Steven Crowder? Why is anyone defending Steven Crowder?

The quartering. Who's defending Steven Crowder? Well, the Quartering is one of them. The biggest fucking simps. Pearl. Pearl on Twitter. You know, that lady. Yeah. I understand it coming from her.

But then the Quartering also hates her, so they're trying to out-simp each other. Why are they simping so hard? They're trying to trash her ex-husband in the midst of all this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, everybody. Also me, my ex-husband, who has a security clearance and can't respond to any of this. Let's also remember to trash him. And of course, the quartering's, you know, he's got a free hand. All these guys are so transparent where it comes down to, what is my side on this issue?

Well, which way? Who's got a bigger audience? Yeah, who has a bigger audience? Oh, yeah, them. I'm on their side. i'm i just want to say that i'm like a super unbiased and however things come out i'm gonna be on the right side you know a lot of you are trying to push me did you ever see the tweet where the quartering was begging elon musk for a job that was a horrible that was the most ceo thing and he was like because you could tell he really

thought he did had a chance yeah he was like he was like... Because you could tell he really thought he did deserve it. Had a chance, yeah. He was like giving him his resume on Twitter of why he should be hired at Twitter to do whatever. And ever since that, I went, oh, so Jeremy the Quartering just wants people with money to give him some of their money.

Yeah, and they think it's cool. Because I'm a grifter, man. I love, I'm owning it. The only guy I like from that is Ian Mastian, because that guy's hilarious. Fat guy living in Malaysia goes, I wonder if I could fuck up American politics for money. This is how dumb, this is what I think of you.

This is how stupid I think you are, you people are. And you're right. Duran Jabe for five. Yes or no, it is replacing a broken window stimulate the economy. What do you think? Replacing a broken window stimulate the economy. Yeah.

The window guy gets a little money. There you go. And the window maker? The window maker gets a little money. And then hopefully somebody's walking down the street and they go, hey, this street doesn't have any broken windows. Maybe I'll shop here. I'm not as worried about crime and whatever else. So a broken window is good.

No, a broken window is good when it's fixed and no longer exists. But then the breaking of the window would be kind of justified. Oh, no, no, no. No? Okay. I know this is a reference to a previous show of some sort. But you don't know which side. But I don't know which side I'm supposed to be on.

I think the broken window theory is not completely invalid, though. It's like, yeah, if a neighborhood is clean and free of crime, people show up and shop and aren't worried about a drug dealer stabbing them. Yeah. There's parts of LA I would never go to because they're full of broken windows. Is that what we're calling them now? Broken windows.

Is that broken window going to smoke crack right in front of everybody? It's making a lot of noise in the fucking theater. Will you guys... All these broken windows and their fentanyl. Let's see. Cole Marklin for five. Money I would never give PKA. Thank you.

You have plundered my internet loyalty. Yes! That's what we want. We want to take all of PKA's money. You want to eat their milkshake. They're fine. They're all doing fine. They don't need it.

Yeah. I need it. Riley and friends for five. I know you guys decided to ditch Solutions for the bonus episodes, but would you consider doing Solutions as a one-month theme for old time's sake? Is solutions funny? It can be, but I don't know if it is. But then you've got to be, like, creative?

Well, you know. Usually people expect you to be creative for all of these. No, I don't want to do that. I just want to complain about magic cards and eating at a buffet. I think that's more accurate. Well, we'll think about it. Antagonist for five. City planners have forgotten how to design neighborhoods correctly.

It's all just to maximize residential plots or appease whiners at public hearings. Yes, I agree. Yeah. Coup for two. Replace stop signs with roundabouts. With roundabouts! Yes! Except women hate those.

They all cry about them. Because they have to pay attention. Like, I don't know what to do. Like, well, you've driven through them, so you clearly made it out. Do they end up being faster? I mean, I know all the research says they are. Well, here's C. Vila trying to ruin your bit for 10. Vito, Dick said on his show, cuties is going back in the box.

I think this was a ploy to trick you into not getting on the scale so you can smash a good toy. Oh, you think he's reverse-psychologing me? And there's actually something good in there and he's just claiming loudly that there isn't. Don't fuck with me. So, Treasury for five. See, Villa. Everyone's having fun. Well, you said it publicly on your show. That's

on you. You're the one who's supposed to be sneaky. Guys have no life. These guys. Fucking losers. Everybody's trying to come up with stuff. I don't even know how I got $10. Probably from blowing guys. Probably from blowing guys. It's definitely not like a Mark Wahlberg situation in Boogie Nights.

He's like, I'll let you see my big dick for $10. It's definitely sucking guys on. Maybe I'll get another fake Gaia's Cradle with this black core paper. It is a nice proxy. Maybe I'll use it, tape it back up. Stratergy for five. There should be more stop signs for when Veet starts talking about ripping out

shit lines from shrimps. You gotta rip out the shit line. A lot of people don't do it. Look at these nights. These nights for fives is Vito thinks all you can eat means he has to eat it all. Vito, you're so fat. You go to an all you can eat. You think it's an eat-all-you-can. It's an eat-it-all.

Yeah. What else? Diamond G for $2.22, 10,000 video games for 300 Spartans. Who wins? I don't know. Stratergy for five. Hey, Dick, thanks for spinning Vito's camera at the end of the last show. The fourth wall's broken.

Now he knows what colors you use for your cabling. Black? Yeah. I guess it's true. People don't always see the... There's a lot of stuff going on. I've seen it before. Yeah, maybe.

Milo Stinkopolis for two pounds. Free Palestine. P.S. Luca Deeznuts for ten. Says pre-Fallenstein owned. Blown the fuck out. Riley Edwards for two. Vito's lost cat was a victim of the Maryland Bridge.

That was a wild video. That was not funny. Holy shit. How is that not funny? A bunch of people were trapped in their cars and plunged into the icy river. Who gives a shit? With 10,000 tons of steel falling on their heads. And no, they weren't.

It was just workers on the bridge. There were some cars going across. How slow were they going? Did you watch the video before the bridge collapsed? Yeah. Is that what we're doing now? Like, anytime someone dies,

it's just like, oh, that's not funny at all. Someone died. I mean, it's not funny. An entire bridge fell down because a ship, the power cut out, they dropped anchor and the anchor hooked them into the fucking main pylon of the bridge, and now the whole eastern seaboard is fucked.

That's hilarious. I didn't realize. I don't give a fuck that 40 people died. It's funny. Oh, yeah, a whole bridge fell out of the sky into the ocean because of a bunch of fuck-ups. Yeah, but a bunch of people died. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, you know, I find it... I don't know.

I guess it's not like... Can you get a violin? I'm not rolling on the floor laughing. It's fucking hilarious. Have you seen it in fast speed? No, is that funny? Or it's like... Here, watch. Maybe that would make it better. What was it called? The Scott Key Bridge?

Is that it? Scott Key Bridge. Did you see what Anthony Acumio is worried about with that bridge? Black people. He's like, oh, you know that when they rebuild that new bridge, they're gonna name it after a black person. And I'm like, oh yeah, they probably will. Is that really

at the top of your head as to the situation? They'll probably name it the Alicia Key Bridge. Sure. You know they will. Apparently that guy was a slave owner, so situation. They'll probably name it the Alicia Key Bridge. Sure. You know they will. Apparently that guy was a slave owner, so they're definitely not going to name it after him again. What about Christopher Columbus? You're fine with him getting his day taken by indigenous people? I have said on, you know, Columbus hate is one of the problems on the board.

Okay. You can't just take everything away from the- Oh, so only Italian guys, when they get replaced, you have a problem. Everybody takes things away from the Italians. I think it's funny. They always take away our- When you say everybody, who do you mean? America. There's a great... Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

When you speed up the video. Watch this. Okay. I'm laughing out of sadness. Turn the audio on. Well, I don't know if it has audio. I hope it does. No, it doesn't. Okay, hold on. Let me find some audio to play.

What is that? You know who he is. I was going to say that one, but then I thought... There we go. No, why'd you come back to that? I'm turning it up. Oh, wait, it doesn't go all the way. Oh, what a cock. No, wait, it doesn't go all the way. Oh, what a cock.

No, wait, it's going. Hey! Oh, come on, come on, come on. Oh, my God. I told you come on. Oh, my God. I told you you shouldn't have taken the bridge. You shouldn't have taken the expressway. You shouldn't have taken that toll bridge. We're going to get a copyright claim.

Cut it, cut it. I told you to go around the horn. Why'd you cut across the street? That's so annoying. Oh, but a bunch of people died. That's not what I'm saying. Who fucking cares? It's a pretty horrifying accident.

My reaction when I saw that was not, ah! Look at how badly they fucked up! Look at how badly someone fucked up today! Oh my God! That's like one of those, those like once in a lifetime disasters. You don't see a lot of those. Yeah. You ever watch the old like the video, you know that bridge that was like built shittily

and it was just ripped. Wiggling around. The wiggly bridge. Was that not funny? It was a little funnier. It was funnier. Wiggling is funnier. Wiggling is funnier.

Like a three stooges cake. Yeah. Like a pie. Shani, 7488 for 5 Australian. I remember seeing an episode of Hoarders where some crazy bitch had a house full of her own shit in jars. I do think I remember that one. Dumb username for 2 Australian.

Who's more annoying, minimalists or hoarders? Hoarders. Yeah, I think minimalists have it figured out. It's probably a good way to live. Philmore for two. Do you know if EVS is going to do trash? We're not trashcast. Don't come here for trashcast tips.

I don't know if he's doing trashcast. Why are you so upset by that? He's always positive about us. Why are you so offended that he's asking about it? Because would you go to EVS and you go, hey, his biggest problem tonight? Yeah, you should do that. We're not the TV guide. Everyone should to EVS and you go, hey, who's biggest problem tonight? Yeah, you should do that. We're not the TV guide. Everyone should ask EVS.

Ask EVS if he's doing Trashcast tonight. Every night. Yeah, that's a good point. Because I love EVS. I love EVS, but then half the time I read the comments and they go, oh, I can't watch it live because I got to watch Trashcast. You don't got to tell me. Just go watch Trashcast.

I get it. Why are you so offended by that? Because I get it. People have lives and preferences. I know. You don't have to tell. Do you tell someone, let's say I make you a cake and you're like, well, yeah, that's fine, but I'm going to eat pie because I like pie better, you know?

Yeah. It's like, no, we're putting on a show. I don't owe you something because you gave me something. I love, we love EVS. I'm just fucking around. Don't say we. I only said positive things only. I don't know when his show, why would I know if he's

doing a show tonight? So the answer is no. You don't. We should coordinate. I should know if he's doing a show. I should know. He doesn't have a set schedule though, right? He just does it if there's news. Why would he? You coordinate around the sun. The sun does not coordinate with you or

around you. We gotta get I forget how many subscribers we gotta get, but we gotta You coordinate around the sun. The sun does not coordinate with you or around you. You think you're a big shot. I forget how many subscribers we got to get, but we got to get enough subscribers that we're ranked on that Playboard site. Okay. Have you seen that site? We're ranked. Everyone tell 10 of your friends.

Message every group that spam it to everybody. Everybody in your furry Discord server. We're all posting your fursuit pics and eating cum pizzas. Everyone who's ever eaten your cum pizza or whatever, tell them. Biggest problem in the universe. Biggest problem on YouTube. Because if we were ranked right now, they only rank channels, I believe, with 20,000 followers. We need 3,000 people?

I think so. For two? Yeah. Come on. But we would be in the top 100 Friday shows. Lie. Do whatever you have to do to get us subscribers. Yeah.

I want to be ranked top 100. This show is big, but it's hard to get people to subscribe. But you can't tell. That's the problem. Yeah, it's weird. It's like... It's big, but you can't tell. It's a big show, but you can't tell because people go like...

Yeah. Because it's not. Hey, did you see Andy Dick and Vig Mignogna's... Did you see the new... What's the Earthworm Jim guy? Doug Znapple. Did you see the new cartoon he's got? No.

Oh, man. Is it good? It's not out yet, but it's called... Shit, what's it called? Okay. It's like Trevor the the aborted fetus and it's a little black fetus that has been uh aborted by evil democrats are there politics in it i mean it's doug ten apple doing his i'm a christian who hates abortion thing which is hilarious though because he's pretty

good at doing it and it's got voices from just like an like an irony void? Are you going to love it so much? And then it's just like an angry swirl of ironic... It's like when a guy I odiously disagree with his politics, but he's undeniably talented that I can't look away. The Mickey stuff he made was hilarious. The Mickey stuff's hilarious. Yeah. And he's making fun of me.

And I keep telling him, if you make a subversive Mickey... Yeah, Mickey Mouse is all like, yeah, let's do a bunch of gay stuff because nothing matters and nihilism is the highest truth. And I'm like, that's me. I get it. I keep telling him. It's an aborted black fetus? It's an aborted black fetus.

Where is this premiering? There's a new channel. We got to get in with these guys. They're like funding all this weird subversive. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's no we. This is a we. What we're doing right here is a we. No. We gotta get in. Do not include me on any of this shit that you're doing. Anytime you

mention Dick Masterson, mention me in the same breath. Think of us as a... I don't need to grab money from people. I don't want to grab money. It's more about... That's what it sounds like. No, no, no. It's like a money grab. Well, this is to fund a project to do a cool thing. Whatever. What project? They're making a bunch of different TV shows and weird shit.

I don't completely get it, but... Who is? Go to Doug TenApple's Twitter, and I'll tell you all about it. You're the one asking questions. You don't know anything? You want money that you don't know? It's called, like, Zoom or Boom or Doom or... No, that's not it.

Doug. Flug. TenApple. Is that actually it? that's not it. Flug. It's an apple. Is that actually it? I don't know. Zug. There. Okay.

To Naples. Is this him? Yes. The point is, here I can find it because I remember what it looks like. I retweeted it too.

It was probably on my page. Okay, here we go. From Lore, L-O-R. Watch Lore? Lashon the Aborted Fetus. A fetus survives its abortion at clanned parenthood and receives magical powers of song to fight trans-species liberals' oppression

at the local farmer's market. You can't abort the facts. Featuring the voice talents of Andy Dick and Vig Mignogna. Which is like... I'm just like, this is either going to be spectacular or the biggest piece of shit I've ever heard of. This is the most you thing I think I could ever imagine. Andy Dick and Vig Mignogna? When is that ever happening?

It's like one of those things where I have to sit through an explanation of it, and I'm like, I can't, can this just be over? Like, I already got it in the first sentence. They got Andy Dick. We could have got Andy Dick. Exactly. Oh, I know. And it continues.

It's like, yeah, but it's like this. I'm like, Andy Dick? Vic Mignogna. Andy Dick fucking sucks. Edward Elric know. And it continues. It's like, yeah, but it's like this. I'm like, handy dick. Vic Mignogna. Handy dick. Edward Elric. Fucking sucks. Broly is going to. I don't know anything about Vic Mignogna other than the lawsuit.

He's the Dragon Ball Z guy. He's going to. Yeah, but I've never seen Dragon Ball Z. He might be the voice of the fetus. I don't know who's doing the fetus. I'm sure it will be funny. I'm excited. And I said I was excited.

And then the lore Twitter said, we're excited, too. And then I posted. Lore is the thing that's paying for it And then I posted a screenshot of Andy Dick's Sex registration Whatever You should have him host a dating show And I said I think we're going to stick the cartoon through right now Fund what Hollywood wouldn't

A new streaming service unfiltered by Hollywood What do you call it It's the parallel economy. Can you believe it? But maybe it'll be fun. This is better than Daily Wire from the first glance. I'm at least like, hey, alright.

I want to see it. You're letting Degton Apple just complain about abortion in an insane fucking cartoon? Let's do it. It's probably gonna fail. I don't know.'s do it. It's probably going to fail. I don't know. It sounds great. It's great.

I love it. Let's see. Riley and friends for five. I once helped my friend and his dad clean out a dead woman's house. She had hoarded a bunch of PS1 games. Maybe her grandson's. I made out well. There was some guy who made a YouTube video where he cleaned out a hoarder's house

and made a ton of money on all the video games. Everyone was mad at him. Yeah, it's a hoarder's nightmare. Yeah. He's like, oh, hey, cool, a sealed Metroid Prime. I can sell that for 500 bucks. Everyone's like, oh, you're an asshole. Johnny Rocket for fives says, I think Super Killer will be good.

You can do it, Vito. The old man from Squid Game is the... Okay, well, I'm not spoiling Squid Game. The old man from Squid Game is the villain, and the actor was me too'd for horsing around Asian Broadway. Oh. Horsing around. Well, he's fucking women. The old man from Squid Games is the villain?

The guy that it follows? I'm not telling you. Figure it out. I'm just going to Google it. Okay, Google it. I don't care. I don't want to watch shows. I hate watching.

It's a misdirect. I'm lying. It could be anyone's the villain. What the fuck? I can search to watch shows. I hate the mystery. Somehow you've activated my Google. Alexa, call the police.

Alexa is not on the phone. Siri, what do you have? I'm not telling you. Hey, Google. I'm just going to Google it, I said. Stop, stop, stop. I'm just going to Google it. Call the police.

I'm just going to Google it. Call 911. Stop, stop, stop. I'm just going to Google it. Call the police. I'm just going to Google it. Call 911. Alexa, knock the phone. Hey, Google, lock the phone. Lock the phone. Hey, Google. Don't tell my fucking phone to call the police. Hey, Google, I'm being attacked.

Jesus Christ. Riley Edwards for two Canadian. Friendly reminder, you weigh more than Lizzo. Is that true? I don't think that's true. Yeah, it is. And she quit. She quit?

Not being fat. She quit the calzones. Meta S for 10. I feel like Vito is just friends with Boogie because they're both fat content creators. Boogie's the alternate version of me where I'm pathetic and have cancer. K. Chris for 205. In this universe, I'm just pathetic. K. Chris, 205 for five.

Herder, you sure don't like comedy for someone who has it in your name. Okay. Soodpoodle for five. Vito, your red boy here. I can't wait for you to get done with Super Killer so you can move me in like we planned. You made my dreams come true. Sounds nice. I'm very excited.

Shawnee for five. Australian Blackrock owns over 10% of Hasbro, the parent company of Wizards of the Coast. No involvement, though, right? What do you not understand about it? I understand it perfectly. That's the problem. Okay. What do you understand about it?

I understand that you guys are making a mountain out of a molehill. So why is there that holy cow shit made by women? Because the people who work there are dumb. Dumb how? They're bad writers. Why are they bad? Why did a company hire writers who are bad? Because they just hired their weird liberal friends.

Who's they? Why would they have... Mark Rosewater and whoever else is in charge of hiring. Because they just hired their weird liberal friends. Who's they? Why would they have? Mark Rosewater and whoever else is in charge of hiring. They're all a bunch of, you know, Biden voting, Trump hating. I mean, like, you didn't exist in, like, the same nerd space as I've been in where everybody. You're the pro, right? I've seen? I've met these people. I've engaged with these people, okay?

And they're all a bunch of liberal F-slurs who like... And they hire whom? Other liberal F-slurs. And then they hire consulting companies or not? Sure. And the consulting company's role is to do what? To probably do more liberal F-slur

bullshit. Okay. And then they get money from... No. Who? See, that's to probably do more liberal F-slur bullshit. Okay. Yeah. And then they get money from... No. Who? See, that's where it gets... You're saying... And then BlackRock invests in them because of that. How do you fund a big game?

How do you get money to make a big game? You don't know, do you? I do know. You can get funding. You get cash. How? You can get it from the bank. You can get it from investors.

Which investors? BlackRock. Well, which ones? List them. You could go to the bank and go, hey, we want to make a game. We want to take out a loan or whatever. You could go to a- Or whatever.

How much? You find a group of investors and say, hey, we need this much money to make the game, and you get this many back-end points or whatever the fuck else. Who are these banks? There's investing groups. There's what? There's what? Angel?

Not an angel investor, but what would you call an investment group? Definitely not an angel investor. What would you call a group of investors? Anything you want. Could be a bank. Could be a hedge fund. Hedge fund. Could be investment groups.

Hedge fund would be a good one. Could be BlackRock, like Vanguard. Okay. Are they going to have any kind of stipulations on the money? Quite possibly. What might they be? You got to put a bunch of gay shit in there. Well, what might they be?

They might be we want to make sure your company has a diverse range of people working there. What's that going to do? What kind of effect will that have on the company? It'll lead to the company hiring more women and blacks and minorities and whatever else. Okay. So you do know how it works, but you're still telling people they're crazy for saying that this is how it works? Because you could hire women. You could hire black people.

You just don't have to hire the gayest most liberal versions of those groups but if the money is tied to liberalness how could you not it's not necessarily tied to liberalness okay here's the problem is that say jump what do you say well sure let's jump how high high? How high, right? A person jumping the high. Well, you could not jump that high. Well, the bank said jump. I don't want to risk jumping not high enough.

The point is that we need to make it very clear that the problem is not hiring black people and women and gays. Hiring women is 100% the problem. Let me be clear. You can't not hire women. We did for thousands of years. I know. And it was amazing. We just have to find a place where they-

Now boats are crashing into bridges. Don't do that. Planes are falling out of the sky. That happened before women. Okay, planes have always been falling out of the sky. People get me too. Derek Shalai's losing his comic book company. Second, we had a woman astronaut.

What happens? They all burn up. Lost a bag of tools. Lost a bag of tools. Blows up. The point is, if you really want to change the culture, right, you have to be very- And you know because you've already changed it toward evil. No, I've changed it towards good.

I went to Netflix and I saved comedy forever. And I convinced the head of Netflix to ignore all those protesters and keep letting Dave Chappelle do whatever he wants. Amazing. Yeah. Okay. Is we need to establish to the culture. Who's we? Anyone who cares about

where culture is at and thinks that it is degraded in quality and that the writers they're hiring are too political and not funny and whatever else. Who's who's that outlier those people are outliers who believe that yeah okay then yeah okay well that's something i would believe yeah okay that's an outlier sure i don't know what do we have to do? You keep interrupting me every two seconds. It's impossible to say anything on the show. Our purpose is to prove to the market that there exists a market for the type of media that we enjoy.

So if you're worried that all the video games have too much gay shit in them, just demonstrate to the market that you don't like the gay shit and don't buy it. So don't buy stuff that diversity consultants have worked on. If you have looked at the game and you think that whatever it contains is too politically odious for you to want to engage in it,

don't buy it. If a diversity consultant worked on it, it's got something that I don't like. Okay. So don't buy it, right? That's your choice in the free market. You agree with that. If a diversity consultant has worked on the game,

it's going to have diversity more than it would have otherwise, so I shouldn't buy it. I don't know. Okay. They're not diversity consultants in the way that you're making it out to be. What are they? Okay, but you're trying to say that they come in and they go, here's our

plot. Tell us who we can make black. Right? Among other things, yeah. Let's black it up. Black, black, black. Black, gay, Jew, black, black. Don't bring Jew in because you know that that's the touch of death.

You can't be critical of Jews at all or else you're done. Well, maybe they'd be really good Jews and they're very good at what they do. They all are. Sure. Good. I'm saying that the belief that there is like this super coordinated network of secret agencies. That's secret. No one says they're secret.

People are saying, oh, they won't even say what they've done because they know it's too insidious how they poison these games. They won't. That's true. They've said things that they've done. They haven't said everything. They've said specifically what they worked on. Well, that's what this whole thing started over.

This guy listed all the things they worked on, and they all tried to get his account killed. Remember that? One guy tried to get his account killed. Remember that? One guy tried to get his account killed. What was all the different articles written about it for then? They didn't say, hey, you gotta ban this group. They didn't say it was hate speech and it's a hate group

and it's a harassment mob? Maybe a couple people said that. All the game journalists didn't say that? We're just gonna litigate this forever. Look. Yeah. Okay. The point is... Because people deserve it. Your approach to trying to change the culture

is to make... I don't want to change the culture. What do you want? Okay, your point in trying to... These people want to change the culture, let's assume. More black, more gay. No, no, no. I would say that the people against that also want to change it back the other way, right? No.

They want less gay shit. You just have to get them out of there. Well, that's a change. That's what they want. Sure. Stop hiring these people. Yeah, stop hiring these people. So just change it within the marketplace.

Trying to come up with... So don't buy games that Sweet Baby Inc. and Black Girl Gaming... If you think that'll have an impact, sure. But I think that's a misplaced... There you go. I think that's a misplaced. What's your plan to get this shit out of games? I'm gonna buy Alan Wake 2 and play it. So your

plan is to get more of it in? Yeah. This is the problem that people don't understand with this middle-of-the-line liberal. That you're still pushing the agenda. You have to prove to me that it's bad. No one's done that. Nope. It's not bad, though. That's the problem. You're trying to tell me it's bad.

Load up that holy cow shit again. Tell me how that got though. That's the problem. You're trying to tell me it's bad. Load up that Holy Cow shit again. That's bad. Tell me how that got there. How'd that get there? How's Alan Wake too bad? Everyone says it's good. I haven't played it. I want to play it now.

Because it might have a black lesbian in it? No, just because the more I read about the plot and they're like, oh, it's kind of like a Stephen. I mean, I was always kind of interested in it, that it was kind of playing through a Stephen King novel. And I'm like, Holy Cow! Where'd that come from? Okay, but that's not diversity.

I mean, it's diversity in hiring, which I've said, that's a different issue than diversity in games. Than diversity in consulting that are pushing diversity in hiring. It's an interlocking web, and it's more complicated than people are making it out to be. And I guess that's the biggest problem. You misunderstand their arguments is the problem. No, it's that you guys are being completely reductive where you go, ah, the big problem. I've only ever heard people who are trying to lie say the word reductive.

That's your interpretation. You're assuming of a lie. Only people who are trying to bullshit me have said reductive. In the same way that, like, movies can be bad. Okay, let's put it this way. Everyone's woke. Why do you think the Suicide Squad game's bad? Mostly because of the online thing, like the having to pay for it.

Okay, so that game was going to fail regardless. So when you hold it up... Not necessarily, but... The odds of it failing were incredibly high. But the hallmarks of it being bad through the storytelling are highlighted by the woke shit. I don't think there's highlighted by the woke shit. I don't think there's a lot of woke shit in it. I saw Batman get killed by Harley Quinn.

That was woke as fuck. I saw that all of the writing in it was bad. That's woke. I don't think Batman getting killed by Harley Quinn is woke. It was an evil Batman. You finish your stand-up routine. Like, oh, man, really? I think they planned to bring Batman back in DLC,

which is not going to get made because the game failed so hard. Well, you've deflected again. I'm not deflecting. It's just, look, when you say crazy things... Just say last word. Will you let me finish one sentence ever? Just say last word.

When you say crazy things, like, the reason Suicide Squad failed was because of diversity. It's a very reductive point you're making, though. They're making that point. They said that. Some people are saying that. The reason Holy Cow is in there is because DEI shit. Okay. I think that's reductive.

I think there's more at play than just that. That's what you guys always want. There's always more. You're forgetting something. You're not looking at the big picture. We're so stupid. Thanks for educating us on all the complexities of this. So just endlessly complain about it, and it'll be just like the original Gamergate where nothing changed at all.

Trump got elected. Well, you're going to get that again if you keep at it. I don't think so, actually. I think they're going to float in too many illegal immigrants to get him in. Well, I've already signed up for my mule application and hopefully they approve it. I think you will vote for Biden again, even though you promised that you'd

vote for Trump. Get the show over 10,000 and I will vote for Trump. No, you said that at 5,000. Well, things change. Yeah. Fucking lie. I'll say this. Fucking lie. No, no, no. I'll say this Fucking lie, again No, no, no I'll say it right now Get the show above 10k

Get the show under 5,000 So that Vito has to make the same deal at 5,000 No, I'm not doing that Alright Let's see Can we not talk about game rate? I will argue about it forever Riley and friends for two.

Vito, what's the parrot's name again? Go kill yourself. Project Sunparley for five. Would you ever sell your notes on ice? Weren't they all digital? Yeah, they're just out there. People are buying weird... I mean, we're talking about Eric Gillespie selling totems now.

People are buying all sorts of things. It's a text file. Gun Ranger for five USD. The BP with the A-bombs bombs the sympathy people have for the japanese what they did in china was worse than the germans by both numbers and methods yeah but uh i think also we assume they were ignorant unlike like the germans are expected to be more intelligent because they were than the japanese yeah the japanese were a bunch of religious zealot crazoids. Well, they're not white.

Is that why you think that? No, because they literally believed the emperor was the descendant of the sun. There's a great, after the war ended, they made two different films for people who were stationed abroad to help with the reconstruction of those countries. And the one about Germany was just kind of like, you know, these Germans might seem nice guys,

but, you know, a lot of them were Nazis, you know, really be on your toes. And the one about Japan went, these people are fucking nuts. They're fucking crazy, okay? They thought that guy was God. Don't trust any of these slant-eyed bastards. Like, just stay on your toes the whole time.

That sounds like shit they would say, though. That's, like, retarded. No, dude, like, that was the whole thing, that they were like, why don't we just invade them? And it's like, because they will fight. Remember they found that Japanese guy on an island who thought it was still World War II 30 years later? One crank? Yeah, there's tons of those cranks in the U.S. There's tons of them in the U.S.

Sure, sure. I'm just saying. This is government propaganda bullshit. No, no. They really believe that the guy's a god We have to bomb him What other country What other country said

Hey we gotta attack These naval ships How about we sacrifice Ourselves to the emperor And slam into them You mean suicide bombers? Yeah kamikaze Every D-Day was all suicides

Who? The entire western fleet Well that was not The entire allied fleet was on suicide. Oh, they didn't know. Okay. I think they might have had some idea. The guys in charge had some idea.

Yeah, the guys on the ground were like... The first guy who stepped on the beach did not think he was making it through that. I think once he got in the situation, you're like, no, this is not going to work the way I hoped it would. Every stupid infantry guy thinks that they're worshiping a god. All I know is Japan, you know, their people

were very brainwashed in a weird way. The Nazis also, you know, there was a lot of that. You gotta go die for Israel. We were totally different. We gotta stop this. What's happening in Germany? No, I don't give a fuck what's happening in Germany I'm over here you know

Point is And then we bombed them And everything's better if anything We made Japan great They rebuilt that country quick Bad snaps shit Brian David for two Vito 316 says,

Superkiller just whipped your ass. Dean Shock for 10. Thanks for the laugh, boys. Who likes NDAs more, Crowder or July? We need to get those two together. I agree. Aklovich for five. From Boogie Still Breathing to Vito Forgetting Cuties Before Leaving.

Alex for five. Love you, Vito. Big wave for SK. That video essay was disappointing, though. Media ochre as fuck. You shouldn't use your I don't give a fuck voice in the VO. I don't know what voice I'm supposed to do. David Gomez for two.

I've got Mexican frizz. How do I control it? Dick? You can't. You can't. You wouldn't ask that if you were a real Mexican, either. You're probably faking. Shave it all off.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's a bunch of these here. Super Chits. There's a bunch of these. Jesus Christ. There's a bunch of these Super Chits. Okay, let's see. Trio Doug

for $25 says do it. Are you doing one page per show? For $ bucks. Well, there's two right in a row. Hold on, there's three in a row. Look, I take the super chats as I get them, alright?

Stick spit. How many super chats are you going to fucking read in a row? Okay. Here's the first one. Here's the first page Here's the first page Of the Isom art book If I had it Let me see

I might have retweeted it Did you? I don't remember I know you sent it to me Hold on I did send it to you Did you send it to me on Twitter? No I sent it to you on text

Cause I'm an idiot Fuck Okay Go to my Twitter I think it's on on text because I'm an idiot. Fuck. Okay. Go to my Twitter. I think it's on there. I think someone posted it in Discord. Hi, someone post the I saw him book on Discord, please. Now.

Please, please, please. This is one of these things where it's like, I guess I just have a soul. Oh. Okay. I was going to say something racist, but maybe I won't do that. But just. What were you going to say? Well, I was going to say, like, is it normal in the black community to charge an insane amount of money for something this stupid?

You know, this was like, I think this was a hundred bucks. Was it a hundred bucks? For an art book. This is like a celebration of Eric's July, though. It's an art book. Do you know how many pages the art book is? How many? About eight. A hundred dollars.

So I've bought art books for like established series and video games That I think are cool Like 50 pages with doodles Sometimes 100 pages And I'll pay maybe 20-25 bucks Get them on sale, they're a great deal Nice hardcover even

This is a softbound pamphlet Essentially It's like the pamphlet you would get at like a You know, cruise vacation seminar Yeah What you would get it like a uh you know cruise vacation seminar yeah like a what do you call it a timeshare program yeah and uh for this people paid a hundred dollars to see the original official and original you didn't need to say official and original the official isom concept this is the origins the official and original concept art. What you are about to see is the twisted mind of Eric July. From Ron Sepsion.

Narration. Eric July narrates his own art book. With Marco Rios as concept artist. Eric's weird Mexican friend who drew some doodles for him that have spawned wildly out of control. And, of course, Eric Weathers to letter me. All right, this is page one. Okay. I noticed that Marcos Rios does not like drawing feet, as you can see from the...

Okay, wait. Well, that was the first page we showed. Well, this is the first page. No, we showed the cover. The cover's not a page. What are you talking about? I said $25 for one page. You are nickel and dime.

This is worse than- Give me two pages of art, please. Look at his head says. This is what Eric July level of grift right now. My God. This is one of your pages. All right. This is Avery Sillman, a.k.a.

Isom. As you can see, from the very first conception of the character, his red-collar shirt was an important aspect that made its way all the way through into the final draft. Who has a red-collar shirt like that? I don't know. It looks bad. Red and blue with the – you don't wear that with blue shorts. He's running like he's T-Man.

Is that a cross? What is this question mark here? I wish we could zoom in a little. It's a little hard to see everything. Oh, the question mark was he might have had a mask at one point. Oh, wow. Considering a mask. That's amazing.

All of this looks better than what was in the comic because it's like actually drawn. Punching a bag. Here's the original Isom comic. Yeah. Again, that's not what, I don't know what's up with the feet there. That's one of those calling it in kind of shortcuts there. All right. Let's do, we got to read it.

Yeah, let's read it. You want me to read it? We got to read it. Yeah, let's read it. You want me to read it? Open a new tab. Now, what you'll find about Eric July is that he's a writer, all right. He definitely writes words.

Whether those words are well written. They're not. Well, that's up to the consumer to decide. Okay, I made it too big. As I've mentioned before, people went, well, how do you know why something's going to be bad before you even read it? And I go, well, because I read other stuff Eric wrote about it, and that was bad. Is that on the screen? Little tinier, little tinier. How did you do it that one time where it was like the same size?

There we go. Because you can scale that window. How do you do that here stop stop oh okay isom was the first character that i created for rip reverse comics i went in with the intention of creating someone that i had the utmost confidence in because... Shouldn't there be a comma there? I went in with the intention of creating someone that I had the utmost confidence in. In because this is the character that would be the primary focus

when the company launched. That's why I created... I went in with the character I had the utmost confidence in because this is the character that would be the primary focus when the company launched. I had the intention of creating someone I had the utmost confidence in. That's cool. Okay.

Okay. I mean, so what he's trying to express is this was a character whose concept I was very confident about, and that's why I made him the lead for starting off my comic. Because it's got electrolytes. But he says it in the most insane way that doesn't make sense. The first thing I did was type out how... Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

The first thing I did was type out how I envisioned Isam as well as his background. Bro, are you fucking retarded, Eric? Oh, wow, how'd you come up with the character? Well, the first thing I did was I thought about if he had a background and how way he look. The way he look to other people. Dick, I have a different process from a lot of other writers. See, what I'll do with a character is I'll type out things about the character. Oh, wow, how?

So you don't write it with like a pen and paper? No, I'll type it out. Type it out. I type out the background. Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, it's... The way he thinks is like weird. ADIQ.

This is the method... This was a method. This was a method I followed with most of the characters. He typed most of the characters out. You're kidding me! Most of the characters you typed out? How you envisioned them, and as well as their background?

Eric, you fucking re- Nerdotic! Nerdotic! All you guys! All you guys! Nerdotic! Uh, uh, DJ Cobra, whatever. You guys are all fucking retards supporting this guy. He's so fucking obviously stupid, and you have him around

as your black friend. It's fucking pathetic that you're supporting this shit. You guys are all fucking dumb by extension. It's like, it's so weird. But the new thing about Isom was I drew a sketch of his face and suit before I sent it to Marcos. Why was that not in the art book? I even colored the suit on a tablet. Cool, man.

Total retard. Eric July, total retard. Should I put this in my art book? You know what, guys? Not only did I sketch it out, Super Killer. I sketched it out on my tablet. And I colored it, too. Do you believe it? I have a real wet raggin'.

The truth is I wanted Marcus to have as many reference points as possible, even though my sketch was terrible. He did a fantastic job of bringing it to life. You don't see a lot of heroes with this color scheme. Yellow and black? Yeah, I've never seen that before. Colors, man. Hold on.

Yellow and black. I can think of another hero. You don't see any heroes with yellow and black, do you? Very, very excited. And that's a big reason why I went with it. You got black, that's really rare. In comics. It's a rare color scheme. Rare. Alright.

As soon as Marcus sent back the concept... Hey, honey, Eric, how's your comic book drawing over there? Pretty good. I got the yellow. I got a real amazing color scheme picked out. This really does read like a 12-year-old wrote it. As soon as he sent back the concept art, it really set in stone our relationship because of how good it was. Bro.

It was obvious. As soon as Marcos sent back the concept art, it really set in stone our relationship because of how good it was. It's really weird, man. He's like, I don't know who talks like this. It's insane. You're used to dealing with people with an IQ between... I'm used to people who are like, you know, if you're going to be a comic writer, and especially if you're going to dream up your whole universe,

you would very easily be able to use your vernacular and say, well, the thing about Marcos is he's a very talented individual. Even though I sent him a very bare-bones idea of what I wanted, he was able to extrapolate that out and deliver something truly unique. And what he brings with his creative vision of the Reproverse is truly incredible.

I look forward to working with him for many years to come. Eric says, as soon as Marcos sent the content, that stoned our relationship because of how good it was. Because of how good it was. It was very good. And I liked how good it was. It was obvious that he gets it.

I hope to have him on our team for many years. I can't wait for the world to- He also used the quotes fucked up. It's obvious that he gets it, not gets it. It's gets it is the phrase Eric you fucking retard Also fuck this up I can't wait for the world to read his origin story Well you're talking about Marcos in the previous subject So now you're saying you can't wait for the world to read Marcos' origin story

We again strikes again That was incorrect I hope to have him on our team for many years Right Marcos I can't I saw him I can't wait for the world To read his origin story

I'm still waiting on Mar's origin story, Eric. I feel it's something very special. Can't you just have an editor going and fix it? Just get an editor. You have an editor. No, you change the subject to Marco's. This is not necessary. So now you're saying you can't wait for the world to read Marco's origin story.

You have to change the subject back to I saw him. You can't just willy-nilly. I feel it's something very special. Yes. Isom was the first character we worked on, but not the first thing pertaining to Ripiverse. We created concept art for? I first conceptualized the city of Floorspark, Texas,

and other locations of interest, such as Isom's ranch. So he's saying, before I drew Isom, I drew a picture of a city and a ranch, which I also gave him a sketch of. First conceptualized the city of Floorspark, Texas, and other locations of interest. Wait, wait, wait. Basically, he's saying he came up. Let me read Eric's. You're breezing through Eric's, but the savoring his. You're just like plowing through his...

The more I get lost in his words. So then don't read it. I first conceptualized the city of Floorspark, Texas and other locations of interest, such as Isom's Ranch, which I provided Marcos a terrible sketch of. So he drew a ranch? I think what he's saying is he probably came up with this Texas secession idea. I'm going

to assume was the launching point for the Ripiverse. What if Texas was its own country and also full of bad superheroes? And when he sent it back, it was good, and that really set our relationship in stone. And he got that with these hands.

Yeah, I like that he sent back this sketch, and he went, hey, can you draw the feet? Because right now he's like an amputee. I mean, and also, why are his arms different lengths? That's a little weird. I guess the way he's got the other one out to the side a little bit. He's got the cross right here. Yeah. And look, his suit makes a little eye, He's got the cross right here. Yeah.

And look, his suit makes a little eye, except not really. It's kind of like... It's a cross. Looks like a transformer face, actually. One cross here and then super cross here. All right. I think we should not do more because we will get struck. We got to space it out. Maybe we can space it in the next episode.

Yeah, we got to space it out. Okay. That was the first page of... We did the cover and we did the one page. Yeah, you guys are good for it, though. Everybody else, don't worry, you guys are owed it. Yeah. Well, I learned a lot today about the...

Or should we look at another one? Let's look at one more. Let's do one more. One more. One more. One more. Let's see. It's on Twitter.

It doesn't feel like a segment. Yeah, we're just looking at someone's tweets. It's on Twitter. Oh, hon. We got to learn about Altona. Altona. Hey, it's Altona. Hey.

We got a couple skin swatches there. She's singing. No, I think she's listening to music on her phone. Okay. Second thing. Whatever. Okay, I'm really confused about why we're supposed to care about Isom's sister. This seems like such a pointless...

This is like giving me a whole page about Aunt May. Like, oh, I came up with Aunt May. I thought, you know, she likes cookies, but not cakes. And it's like, I don't... I'm more interested in Spider-Man. How do you make it the right size? Here, I'll do it. We need to tear him with this.

Go. Oh, God, I might have fucked it up. Your keyboard is weird. I think we're going to have to shrink it down. Shrink it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's just a picture.

We are looking at the beautiful... This is terrible. Ah, you're fucking it all up. It's because I keep clicking on the thing to get back into it. That's probably good, right? Yeah. Okay. Nope.

Almost. Almost. Almost. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Just a little more. Just a little more. Just a little... Okay, I think we got it. Okay, that's more. Just a little. Okay, I think we got it. Okay, that's fine. I got it. Oh, he's going to tell us why support characters are important. No, no, no, no. You don't read. You go way too fast. Altona Silman.

You're steering the ship, Captain. Support characters are arguably. He's giving us writing advice. Support characters. Yeah. Now, does he know he fucked that up, or is that a typo? Does he think they're called support characters?

I think, I think he can. To fuck up, right? Well, what are you going to call them? Ancillary characters? Supporting characters. Supporting characters. Supporting characters. Nobody would ever say support characters. Support characters are arguably just as important to develop as the main ones.

Not the protagonists. The main ones. The main characters. The main characters. Right. The main ones. The main ones. Okay. Supporting characters is not arguable. I'm getting... Well, no, no. This is good. The main characters. Right. The main ones. The main ones. Okay. Supporting characters

is not arguable. I'm glad I'm getting Well, no, no, this is good writing advice, guys. Don't forget, you do have to develop your supporting characters. Why do you say arguably? Supporting characters. Yeah, I don't know why arguably. He always says, like, he throws arguably in anywhere. Yeah, it's not really an argument.

Lunch is arguably more important as snacks. Yeah snacks What? Creating ISOM marked the creation of my Universe Bible In which I document everything for Continuity purposes Wait, creating ISOM marked the creation of your You used create twice

Creating ISOM marked the creation of my Universe Bible Say ISOM was the foundation of Creating my Universal Bible or whateverom was the foundation of creating my universal bible or whatever creating is marked the creating of my creating an isom marked the creating of another thing in which i document everything for continuity purposes oh it's all about continuity what is the universe bible he documents everything continuity purposes we can't remember what was in the back isom too so people go hey what about this purposes, but he can't remember what was in the back ISM2.

So people go, hey, what about this Yara page? He goes, I don't know where that came from. Or if he flies. Did you not document that? I came up with a brief family tree. Very important. And quick background for Avery and his family. Okay.

This is when I figured out that his sister, Altona, would be introduced in the first book and have an important role. Very cool. Very cool. She needed an interesting backstory of her own. Yeah. What is it? I don't think, yeah, we haven't gotten that.

What's her interesting backstory? I tied her to the biotech company, Projexis. It sounds like he's just copying off of someone, like, minutes before class when the assignment's due, doesn't it? It sounds like Chris Chan explained to us how he came up with the Sonichumadon. It's just like a level of autism that is not necessary to sell to people. Remember, you're paying $100 for this kind of brilliant storytelling insight into the ISOM universe. storytelling insight into the ISOM universe. I tied her to the biotech company

Projectis because that could create some interesting storylines going into the future. Okay, hold on. For no reason. Here's another thing. Okay, Eric, if you're if everyone, if, let's imagine Stan Lee was doing this. Stan Lee would sell me

on Altona. He'd we'd go well she's working for projexis an amazing hero and we've got a lot of exciting stories to tell there and who knows what could be happening at projexis i said you said that could create some interesting storylines could i could i'm not sure i probably won't i don't actually which tells me that you don't have a plan for an interesting storyline with her because you're telling me you don't know. Oh, God. Which you shouldn't do as a salesman. You should tell me I have great plans for her.

In a world with super beings, the people without powers are more challenging to create. And you really must focus on their development. Why? Dude, it's like a fucking child. That's a statement that requires explanation. Why is it more challenging to create normal people? In a world with super beings. And again, that's something where you said

it's very easy to get carried away coming up with exciting powers for your characters, but having to narrow in on the normal people in this universe and understand how they operate in that space is a unique challenge but you have to tell me why you know like what is what what is different about writing give me one example yeah uh i modeled altona slightly after my cousin okay so it's just another lady that you knew in your life i modeled it after my great grandma my cousin and then marcos did a final concept art are every one of these gonna say and then marcos did So it's just another lady that you knew in your fucking life? I modeled it after my great-grandma. My cousin. And then Marcos did a final concept art.

Are every one of these going to say, and then Marcos did the final concept art? Because on the front of the book, it says, all art by Marcos Rios. So every paragraph, you don't have to say, I typed it out, and then Marcos drew it. We got that already. He's so fucking stupid. One of the most important things to come from Altona's creation is her daughter Vassie. Is that little girl's name? That's how you're wrapping up the Altona paragraph. It's not a real kid, Eric.

One of the most important thing of my relationship is my daughter. The most important thing to come out of Altona's creation is this other fake daughter. I know this seems nitpicky to some people, but it's just like it is unfathomable to just read this and go, why did people give this man so much money? Because he's black. What I do with the characters is

I type them out. I actually did that with all the characters. And then Marcos draws them. And then I type out a different character and then Marcos draws that character. What a fucking idiot. Okay. Well, we'll do more pages unless we get struck, which we probably will. We probably will.

So if this show gets deleted, it's Eric Gilles' fault for making us read his art book. Fascinating. Fascinating stuff. And we're going to thank Trio Doug, Luca Deez Nuts, and JJ. JJ, thank you. That is a combined four pages that were purchased. You're going to thank Trio Doug, Luca Deez Nuts, and JJ. JJ, thank you. That is a combined four pages that were purchased. You're going to say we went through three of them? Two max.

Dead Cat for five. Biggest problem is getting other people's worth of shit delivered to your house. I'm leaving this on the porch until it degrades in the rain. Bro, just bring it inside. What are you doing? No, fuck them. Not my opinion for five. Vito, Eon Flux, or Battle Angel Alita?

I'm a big Eon Flux fan, but I got to give it to Battle Angel Alita, which is a far more expansive story. Judd Bronson for two Canadian. What flesh light would fit best in the Beck doll? I think they make a slimline one. You're going to have to get a tiny one. Very good. G-Dash for 10.

If Dick sneaks you onto Ethan Shelley, he did to Nick with the split screen. I will buy Super Killer. Martin O'Keefe for two euros. Dollar amount for Vita Sigma grind set motivation speech. What is that where I tell you to make your dreams happen? Yeah.

Do whatever you want. Go eat a bunch of shrimp. Spook Horse for five. Well, they didn't give me a lot of money. Spook Horse for five. How about you just finish the comics instead of tracing garbage trading cards? You're a procrastinating nerd. Geeks for five. R-School Vito. Graphic designer Vito.

Glad you dropped the to be clear tick. You had no in earlier episodes. LJ Clobberino for two. Worst sexual experience. Worst sexual experience. Yeah. Justin Brodak for two. Did you eat meat this Good Friday? It tastes better.

Is that what you're supposed to do on Groove Friday? Am I supposed to eat fish? I think you're supposed to not eat meat. I had a pork chop, so fuck that. Dead Catz for five. Bedbugs can survive extreme temperatures and live over two years without sustenance. I'll take a look for bedbugs. World-renowned Geohound for five.

Much love to the Seinfeld of live shows. That's us. It's as if Michael Bay directed a Larry David screenplay. Can you make fun of my Danish trans friend, Mai? No. Yeah, what are you... No. Are you insane?

Mai, you're doing great, and you deserve everything in the world. Whichever one you want. Yeah. You look better than the normal kind. Benjamin for 10. Random, but it's Easter weekend. I watched Passion of the Christ, and it's the 20th anniversary of the film. Any thoughts on this Mel Gibson classic?

I should watch it. I've never watched that movie. You should watch it. Yeah. I mean, it is just, it's funny. It's funny? Oh, you're going to laugh real hard. Yeah.

When you're like, Mel. He's like, hey, look, it's the, is it the Pharisees or whatever? It's like the. Jews. Yeah, the Jews. Yeah, okay. The Jews, whatever, Mel. And he's like, hey, look, it's the Pharisees or whatever. It's like the Jews. Yeah, the Jews. They're like, what should we do to Jesus? And they're like. So they were pissed at him before. Yeah, dude.

It's like, it's real bad. You're like, Jesus Christ, Mel. You could have made them a less comically evil. Oh, they're taking away Jesus. I don't know what they do to him. Bag of Schmidt for five. Hey, shout outs to Pineapple Man. Even though he's a homosexual, he's a great friend.

Just kidding. He's straight to start. Why are you going to ruin the joke to say he's gay? Johnny Rico for five. Biggest problem is losing your multi-tool and other small tools. Yeah, that's true. That was almost my problem this week. Losing your multi-tool?

Just losing a tool of any sort. But I thought I'd have two fix-it problems in a row. I know some women move them, but I'm not married, so who knows how many girlfriends ago it was. I also have to find my charger for my electric drill. Necro C for five. Merry Christmas, Mr. Abstruse. Get a job, Krim. Fun fact, did you know I'm circumcised? No. Geeks for five. Merry Christmas, Mr. Abstruse. Get a job, Krim. Fun fact, did you know I'm circumcised?

No. Geeks for five. When's the live action five-minute super trailer going to come out? Will he have an actual Slavic accent? Talk to Tony from Hack the Movies. He has the script. He'd make a good one. Oh, he will make a good one, according to Tony from Hack the Movies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. So nail that motherfucker to the wall if you want to see it happen. I already told him I'll pay for a costume. If he commits to make it, yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. So nail that motherfucker to the wall if you want to see it happen. I already told him I'll pay for a costume. If he commits to make it, I will pay. What about that guy that already made a costume? Yeah, I mean, if he wants to borrow that guy's costume. But I would also pay

for the actor or whatever, you know, to get him a nice superhero suit. Great guy, Gabe. 7, Canadian. I remember when I worked in a catering business in high school, the owner's son, 35, would hold and hug a fellow employee, 15. It is. Pretty creepy, TBF.

Riley and Friends for five. Biggest problem is people can't use a computer without four monitors or they freak out. Shout out to Alex. You are special. I'm a two-monitor man. Maybe I should get a third. Pigeon for five. Retake the Creek.

Shredder for two. Love the show, guys. Keep it up. Thank you. LJ Claberino. Biggest problem is when a good thub video cuts the man shredder for two love the show guys keep it up thank you lj clobberino biggest problem is when a good thub video cuts the man's balls for way too long it makes me sus good time to remind people that means i don't know what a thub video i assume it's some sort of pornography uh don't forget guys uh grab yourself a membership here on youtube you can

join in the fun with all our emojis. We have unlocked more emojis. Please, if you have any emoji suggestions, send them to me. Email me. DM me. Ruffhausen by Proxy for five. That's a funny name. Guys, the voice isn't AI. It's a vocoder. Oh, okay. What is a vocoder? Like changing your voice.

That's what I thought. Riley and Friends for two. Spider-Man is best Marvel character. No contest. I like the black one. Gun Ranger for two. Four Lions is a great terrorist comedy. Check it out. Maybe I won't.

Benjamin for five. Can you guys get Sven Stoffels on? He's a comic book writer and a funny guy. Vito would like him. He's a funny guy. I have notes for him. I don't know who that is. Should I know who that is?

He made a comic. Butch Killigan. Oh, yeah. Everyone's talking about that. Where's he based out of? Amsterdam, maybe? Oh, really? Yeah, hech Killigan. Oh, yeah. Everyone's talking about that. Where's he based out of? Amsterdam, maybe? Oh, really? Yeah, he's somewhere weird. Vito's cat for five is a super killer, also similar

to the Deadpool comic, Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe. Yeah, I know. Everything I do is... I mean, not... Yeah, not at this level, though. Like, I see guys saying, like, actually, it was in Marvel... Yeah, but this is a big blockbuster movie, and they said specifically, it kills the universe. No, no, no, no, no, it was in Marvel. Yeah, but this is a big blockbuster movie, and they said specifically kills the universe.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not the same as Deadpool kills the Marvel universe. It's not at all. It's going to be great. That's great. Geeks for two, pay attention to when Vito uses the term gentleman. David Gomez for two, Ashley Babbitt noises, gun explosion, dynamite, dynamite, explosion.

Max Attack, did you see when I made Destiny laugh with my Ashley Babbitt bit? That's like one of my top ten moments. I only go on kick or keep to try and get Destiny to cry. He's not smiling enough. He's too sad, Destiny. Max Attack for ten New Zealand's. Vito on Twitter, you said you work on... He should be happy his wife left.

Right? Well, she's taking all his money, I assume. Well, he can make more money. you can make more money he can make still famous uh max tech for 10 veto on twitter you said you work on video games but then said it was for marketing what level are we talking making posters or something more involved trailers i made mostly uh trailers and a lot of that involves playing uh what do you call it beta versions of the games and if i ran into bugs and shit, I'd tell the dev team, hey, by the way, while I was capturing footage on level five,

a bunch of naked children popped up on screen. Oh, wait, no, that's just my folder. Never mind, you're fine. Justin Broderick for two. Vito, why do you think Sweet Baby exists? To make money. To make money for themselves. And to make plots better with great writing teams.

Do you think that or do you think it's the first one? I think that there's probably some good writers there. At Sweet Baby? Yeah. How much would you bet? I think a bunch of writers

who work on video games got together and said, hey, we should make a consulting firm. Because they're good writers? I think that's part of it. Do you think there's any good writers at Eric July's warehouse?

No. Why's warehouse? No. Why's that? Because he didn't hire Sweet Baby. That's amazing. He should hire Sweet Baby. It'd probably be better. You just think that they are good writers with no proof. Well, the proof is that they've worked on multiple games that were good.

Were they good? Yeah. Which one? Alan Wake. Two? Yeah. Why do you games that were good. Were they good? Yeah. Which one? Alan Wake. Two? Yeah. Why do you think that's good? Did you play it?

I'm going to play it. If it's bad, I'll change my opinion. But you can't. I can't change my opinion. Yeah. You already said it's good. It looks good. Okay.

What other good games? Same situation with Isom Where I said well based on what I've seen it looks bad But I'll give it a fair shake So it looks bad No no no Isom looks bad Alan Wake 2 looks good It's the reverse situation God of War 2 looks okay

Although I didn't like God of War 1 I don't think you should be hanging out with a little kid anyway Seems kind of pedophilic. And, uh, I want to play the Suicide Squad game. Now that's good. The writing in that's good, right? I might be good.

I'm not that, the only thing I disagree with the writing is killing Batman, I think, is wrong. But other than that, it looks like standard. Other than murdering Batman. Murdering Batman, I think, is wrong. But other than that, it looks like standard. Other than murdering Batman. Murdering Batman, I think, was a mistake. Yeah. Otherwise.

The whole story does not hinge on killing Batman. It's not the only thing in the plot. Have you ever heard of the Bible? Yeah. What does that hinge on? No. It hinges on a guy getting on a boat with a bunch of animals. Jacob,

about for 20. Vito, your video essay arc is over. I think you should go back to man on street videos. Less editing, less market saturation. Instead of streaming a buffet, make a 10-minute comedy video or buy a child ride of your choice. Okay, here's the deal. I need money. None of that stuff made me any money at all.

Okay? Half the man on the street shit was demonetized because it had people beating each other up at protests and whatever else. Oh, really? That sucks. Yeah, no ads on any of it. I didn't make a fucking time. The only way I can make videos, and the only way I will

make videos is if I get, like, a Patreon support because I can't monetize it. It doesn't make me anything. And I'm making more money making comics and doing podcasts. Look, I got't monetize it. It doesn't make me anything. And I'm making more money making comics and doing podcasts. Look, I got two loves in life. I love this show. I love Super Killer.

I have room for one other love. And that love is money. Whatever gets me that money, I will do it. Okay. I like making comedy. I love it. It's a ton of fun, but I can't do it if it's going to bankrupt me. Well, man on the street stuff is fun. I would do that for this show because I think it could grow this show's audience, and that's a way to make money.

So maybe I can find some room to do that. Wonder Cons this weekend. You want to go to Wonder Con? Not really. Neither do I. But what if we went around and we asked all the cosplayers, what's the biggest problem in X-Men? Yeah.

We should think about it. Is that worth watching? No. None of this shit is. Well, there you go. It's like, I don't do shit that you don't even think is any good. I mean, we would have to think about what we would do and what we would ask. Okay, so if you're thinking something.

We could ask, maybe there's some Isom-related thing. Okay. Maybe. We should have brought Mint Salad and dressed her up as Yaira. Then we're just selling Mint Salad's tits. That's not comedy. Something's kind of funny.

I don't know, man. I gotta make a dollar. Summer Swan, Winter Raven. I don't want to live in a tiny hoarder apartment for the rest of my life. Just stop buying toys! The problem is not the toys! The problem is the tiny little shithole I don't want to live in a tiny whore-in-a-ro apartment for the rest of my life. Just stop buying toys. With two cats. The problem is not the toys.

The problem is the tiny little shithole I live in. Okay? And I'm trying to level up my life. You got to get stuff out faster, man. It's coming out. You got to get it out faster. I will pick up the speed. SummerSwanWinterRave for five. I'll become a member since Dick unblocked me

Thanks Dick, hey Vito, go be great Lol, Eric July reference OnTheJohn for five Well thanks for coming back SummerSwan OnTheJohn for five, hey best pal Vito You left cuties behind so now I eat ass Dick Will surely attempt to trick you onto the scale Don't let him

That's from our good friend the niggler JohnnyRico for five, V video explaining how a company gets money to fund an expansive project is like the Seinfeld bit where Kramer explains write-offs to Jerry. Well, they know, Jerry. They're the ones writing it off. That's also how you guys...

Whatever. Johnny Rocket for 2. Remember the most famous female pilot got lost? Yep. Brian David 5 says Alan Wake 2 was a 10 out of 10. There you go. There I go what? I don't know. People like it. I don't know.

I want to play it. What does that mean? It means that some people enjoy this stuff that is supposedly being destroyed by these diversity consultants. Are you like... Do you think it's either... It's binary? Like if you hire diversity consultants, everything is destroyed?

You would need to show me that more bad is being traded than good. We don't need to show you anything. We just mock you. Okay. Because you can't tell that you're getting pissed on. We're mocking the person who's getting pissed on and thinks it's raining. Hey, guys. How am I getting pissed off?

Will you explain to me that this is piss? In what way? No, we're just going to mock you for getting pissed on and loving it. We don't give a fuck. Okay, so I'm getting pissed on by the magic card people, sure. You figure it out. We know. All of us know who's pissing on you.

I don't care. If Sweet Baby came up with the holy cow card, I'll give you a million dollars. A woman did. A woman did. Vito's cat for two says Alan Wake 2 hasn't made its budget back. I don't know. Euthanasia enthusiast for seven Canadian. Veto your team screws up everything, especially culture.

Hunter Wadley for fives says look at Monastery Swiftspear now compared to Monastery Swiftspear then. It's a magic card that has the first one had an Asian lady on it. Okay. Now what is it, a black lady? Oh. Whatever. They reprinted the Asian one pretty recently.

It's not the worst. Oh, really? Sam Coyne for two. Hey, guys, what beer are you drinking? Well, I'm just having a Diet Coke. Dick has a Juice Force IPA. Ah, thank God. How's that taste?

Terrible. It's the worst beer I've ever had. X-A-Moon for two. Canadian. Bat-T is gayer than F-Strews. I want to get my money back from this beer. It tastes so fucking bad. Matt M for five.

Dick, can you please do a crossover show with Carl for the Maddox video? Yes, sure. Let me get in on that. It'll be fun. Did some of the Maddox video get taken down? Yes. Because you listed everybody's name? Probably.

I don't know why, though, Vito. I don't know anything about the internet. Or videos being taken down. I'm so glad. That's all I know about is plundering booty and having it. Can someone send Dick a different character to do during this bit? Matt Salad sent me another character to have. Why don't you get that cop outfit? Why don't you be

the booty cop? I might still have that cop outfit. I would rather deal with cop dick than pirate dick for an episode. Why don't you deal with this card that might be the real thing that you tore in half? I ripped up a real guy's cradle. You should make a TikTok video

where you say, look at this guy. Ripped up a card and then react like that was a real card and then freak out. That's the kind of video that would be good on TikTok. I don't want to make fake reactions. You don't want to make anything good. You're always crying about money, but you don't want to make anything that people want to see. I don't know. It's just bullshit.

Plumbo for five. Bullshit. Dick made fun of my punctuation, but my drunk punctuation was not as bad as Eric Jelan's. Oh, Eric Jelan is a little bit soft in the head. I wouldn't let him steer a dinghy. I wouldn't let him write anything. Dead Cat for five. Am I supposed to recommend this show to my friends with all this stupid ISOM deep lore shit they want?

What do you understand? Just make them subscribe, you fucking idiot. It's not complicated. I don't care if they watch it. Subscribe so we get the numbers. Just say there's a black guy with a comic book who tried to sue them so they make fun of his comic book. That's all the lawyer you need. Yeah, and he molested a witch at work.

And he molested a witch. He molested an intersectional witch feminist. Titanic Pineapple for five says, this is my son, projects us. Sam Coyne, one for five. What beer yet again? Also, this guy, Eric Geliath, such a smart guy, man. I can't send this because you sued censorship. Had to change it eight times. I don't know what's going on there.

Voodoo Ranger, Juice Force IPA. It's terrible. It's the worst beer ever. Don't drink anything by Voodoo Ranger because they put this shit out. I'll never drink their shit again. Vito's cat for two. Can we pay for a Deep State Derek rant? Yeah, but you'd have to really pick a topic. DEI and video games.

Deep State Derek could talk about that. Devo for five. Dick and Vito, why is it that great comic, cartoon, and movie ideas get overlooked by soulless grifts like Ice on Prevail? Because lonely, young white men are desperate to have a black friend, a cool black friend. And when they give him money, they get to point at the amount of money he has and go, look at how much money we raised together. It's true. Okay.

And it's sick. Nobody else could do it because they have too much shame. Yeah. Nerdotic. Even Yellow Flash. Do you see Yellow Flash and Quartering are talking about how they're going to church together? And then the next day,

after calling a housewife a dog fucker, Yellow Flash and Quartering are talking about how they're going to fucking church and calling each other brother. Why don't they just suck each other's cocks? Cornering and Yellow Flash, two of the most anti-Christian gossiping fucking savoring failure.

How many videos about Brie Larson before you're going straight to hell? One is the answer. Craven and crass. Absolutely disgusting. Man, I really need to go to church. My judgment is wailing. I've got to go to church so I can judge other people harder. Do you think Yellow Flash goes to confessional and he goes, uh, forgive me father for this week. I

told my 250,000 teenagers that follow me to download lolly pornography. Do you think so? Sorry about that. How many Hail Marys do I get for that? Do you think the quartering goes in? It goes, Father, I'm trying to steal the audience of a young woman because she's better at hating women than me.

Yeah. And it's really affecting me, and I'm on Rumble, and I'm trying to, I sold them the idea that I could build their platform up, and then they hired a rapist and a wife abuser, but for some reason I'm still defending them, even though it's extremely unchristian. What is going on? He has a deal with them, right?

He has some sort of deal? Yeah, what's going on is a million bucks, probably, that he's getting from them. What is that Rumble stock at now? Hopefully it's lower than— It's got to be zero. Hopefully it's under five. What's it at? It million bucks, probably, that he's getting from them. What is that rumble stock at now? Hopefully, it's lower than... Hopefully, it's under five. What's it at? It's got to be pretty low.

Let's look up on your computer machine. I remember we were talking about shorting it, and we're like, well, it can't go that low. It's too expensive. Oh, it's eight. Eight is high for what I considered. When did they come up? Wow. They were at 10. They were at 10.

Then they had a big dip, but now they're fighting their way back. So I don't know what happened. That's shocking. That is shocking. They should be at $2 a share. Well, what do we know? Well, you all know what time it is. Yeah, well, Ryan Feeney for 50 says we need some booty.

What's the game? Are we spitting something at toys? Smash all the toys. Of a man who tweets about little boys. What's in the box? You know you want it. So get on the scale or I smash it to shit. Vito's booty.

Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. What's it going to be? I need 10 minutes of drum roll. Wait, we're doing this already? You don't want me to finish the super chats?

Then we do it after the super chats. No, they're not. We need them forever. That was Ryan Feeney for 50. He says we need some booty. Leshev for two says, what does Vito smell like? And David Gomez for two says, how much does Vito spend on toys a month? How much do you spend on toys a month?

Lately, I've been getting some good deals. All right. Deadcat for five says, your podcast overlay and clip should include the episode number so people can go back and watch the full episode. Not a bad idea. Okay. SamCoin1 for two says, sorry for all the beer stuff. Lol.

LeChevreBig15 says, did Dick's face get rounder? Yes. There you go. I get a rounding filter on it. He's eating all those puzzle sandwiches. And the Geek Getaway for five. Frogman. Pirate Dick and Team Guy Vito are the best duo on YouTube.

Captain Frogman. What's it going to be, Vito? Just give me my Cuties DVD again. You want the Cuties DVD? If you want the Cuties DVD, you're going to have to get on the scale there, Vito. Here's the thing, is I know your brain. Should I say what I predict? Predict it.

I think you're going to fake me out with the Cuties DVD. Okay. So let's see if I'm right. You're going to get on the Cuties DVD. Okay. So let's see if I'm right. You're going to get on the scale. Yeah. Okay. Hold on. Let me get it out.

Let me get my phone out. Okay. See, if I was you, here's the worst part about Vito's Booties. I can't make suggestions. Yeah. Because I would have hung the Cuties DVD by a string. Right. On a pulley system. Yeah, I was going to do that. And by a string on a pulley system.

Yeah, I was going to do that. And then just have it drop into frame. I was going to do that, but I was too tired. I think I would have been hard to hide. I think I would have looked up and said, hey, why is there a Cuties DVD? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here you go. Here he goes Taking his clothes off for no reason

Even though it's only like two pounds We all know how much it weighs Oh! 292.5 Yeah You lost a lot of weight 292.5 Yeah You lost a lot of weight Good thing you took the shirt off Okay here's your cuties DVD

I mean is it? It's not very heavy I'll tell you that Well fire it up Get it open I guess I should do it on camera here Well, fire it up. Get it open. I guess I should do it on camera here. Oh, hey, it is a... It's a little girl. It's a model of a 14-year-old little girl that you have.

She might be 16. No, she's 14. It says on the box. It doesn't say it on the box. It says on the box. It's an Asuka... Asuka. Super hot 14 year old

figure. You're way too happy for it. Well, hold on. I'm checking to make sure. Okay, she doesn't have the eyepatch, so this is acceptable. What do you mean? If anyone sends any Asuka eyepatch merchandise, I will burn it myself. What does that mean? Why? Well, because

technically there's two evangelion universes because they kind of made an evangelion multiverse and one of them the original one you know oscar's great in the the bad universe she loses her eye and she has an eye patch and so she's younger when she doesn't have the eye patch yeah i think she is younger 14 yeah because in this one there's like a time skip. So they have the curse of Evangelion where even though they look 14, they're actually, I believe, in their 30s. Do you even take that out of the box? I'll take it out. I mean, does it come out of the box?

Oh, it comes in all sorts of ways. Okay, so you don't care about the box of this? I mean, yeah, I'll keep the box. I'm just trying to open it oh i have a knife just wondering about like mint in box and stuff i mean this is like a cheap uh sega ufo catcher prize these are probably 20 bucks on ebay oh i thought it was a big, expensive prize. I'm pretty sure. Let's see.

Let's see. Sega Plaza. Okay. So this would, yeah, I think this would come out of an arcade machine in Japan. So it's like you'd play a crane game. Pretty good. And you put it in a jar or something. Yeah, put it in a jar.

Let's see it. Let's take a look. Let's see the 14-year-old. Wait a second. There's nothing weird in there That would be tampering All this build up That would be tampering I was gonna say I don't think

That would be tampering I don't think you re-taped this Oh wow It's like a triangle Wow This triangle's The strongest shape For child pornography

It's not child pornography Nice little I'll put it on my little Evangelion shelf that I have there. Let's see here. There you go. No Cuties DVD in there, thankfully. I still have that, though. I know you still have that. I'm very aware.

Okay. Now, I don't necessarily understand the impulse to have her uniform ripping off. I think you do. I mean, I understand it for some people. Wait a minute. What do you mean her uniform's ripping off? I mean, it's a little much. It's a little much.

It's a little much. It's a little much. It's a little much. Why is it ripping off? I assume she's gone through some sort of trauma here. The front? Yeah, let's see the front. Oh! Like, I've... Oh, no!

Oh, no! Well, if it is Evangelion 3.0, she is technically... I've uh Oh no Oh no Well if it is Evangelion 3.0 She is technically What 30 years old so What do you mean technically Well cause again The Evangelion the LCL fluid Stops the aging process

So she is trapped in the body of a I don't know 14 year old girl Oh no no no I didn't send the figure in. The body of a 14-year-old girl, but she's 30 in her brain? Yeah. Oh, no. This is disgusting.

Well, that's why I don't watch the new movies. Oh, don't point it at me. No, the butt. I don't care about the head. Look at that ass. Oh, no. Look at that. 14 years old. I should make my Evangelion video essay care about the head. Look at that ass. Oh, no. Look at that. 14 years old.

I should make my Evangelion video essay talking about the- Now is when I would lower the Cuties DVD behind you. That would be good timing. Yeah. This 14-year-old. I figured you would spot it. It is a little much, I'm going to say. Wow, the breasts, the cloth over the breasts is its own unique modeled thing there.

So you can just touch those. Well, are you satisfied with this? Is this the best prize you've got? Very cool. I'm very excited. At least she doesn't have the eye patch. That would have been too much. Otherwise, the sexualized 14-year-old

is okay. But if she was missing an eye, I don't want any of that. This is fine, though. This is fine. Does it have the name on the box? Oh, Asuka Langley. So they changed her name for the other movies. All right.

A little Evangelion lore for you. Guys, don't forget. Let me see all our top supporters. Check out our Final Fantasy bonus episode at patreon.com slash biggest problem. We'll have a new bonus episode hopefully next week. If you've got any great ideas for it, let us know in the comments. We love doing bonus episodes. Real quick, let me see if we've got any last-minute super chats here.

But we love you guys. Don't forget to sign up at what what do you call it, Whatnot? Vito Comedy on Whatnot. I will be selling my video games and magic cards there. And check out my new Ghostbusters video at youtube.com slash Vito. Dick, puzzle champion, will be reappearing on the Puzzling Network very soon. Yeah. And I love you all.

Bye.