The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 136

Episode Date: April 13, 2024

Stopped fucking recording. Great. Amazing. The big reveal was my dad owns the waterbed store. How you jump around on a waterbed store? That's the, well that's the thing is it's not like very easy to jump from waterbed to waterbed. See, it's like injury waiting to happen. Yeah, you roll your ankle and snap your leg.

I think I remember being a kid and being on the waterbed and going like, ah, ah, ah, ah. Like, cause it would move in that hypnotic way. That's how I felt. Which became twerking, so now it's, I hate it, but. But that kid grew up in a waterbed store, so I'm gonna accept that maybe he has mastered the ability of maneuvering around a waterbed better than the average person.

And now you want, do you want a store or a bed? You go in splitsies with me. On a waterbed? Yeah, we could drop ship. Waterbed shit all around the country. I was trying to figure out like why were people. Fuck Casper. Why were people buying waterbed? Yeah, we could drop ship. Waterbed shit all around the country. Well, I was trying to figure out like why were people- Fuck Casper. Why were people buying waterbeds? And there's really no reason.

They're exotic. Yeah, well that's- they sold them- Tidulating. The marketing was literally like, there's two things you do on a waterbed. Sleep and a thing we're not allowed to talk about. That's how they marketed them? Yeah, they're basically like- The idea of a waterbed was supposed to be like a sexy experience

It is is it I was having my sex with a lot of sex when I owned one at 12 years old I have sex with myself. Yeah. Well that seems like you can have some fun actually It's really annoying too because you can't get going Rhythm and then all of a sudden like what if your rhythm changes and you're going That's why Jackgolf so erratically like the guys on Dune. You know how they can't walk on a pattern like Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, The steady pulse is like, chk-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k I'm wondering if people still get them. I guess there's a select number of people who still get waterbeds. Let's get them. I don't know. Let's make our own. Let's make our own.

Take some contractor bags, we'll fill them up. I mean, that was the first waterbed. It was a guy, a design student, he was just like, here, I filled a big plastic bag with water. Is there gonna be a movie about that soon? I think so. We're gonna get it. After the Blackberry movie.

Honestly, you know what? Waterbed the movie. If they said they're making a waterbed movie, I would probably wanna see it more than like half these stupid vials. Blackberry? Yeah the movie if they said they're making a waterbed movie I would probably want to see it more than like half these stupid by very yeah the Nike movie rise and fall This is when we got Michael Jordan signed to Nike. We gave him a bunch of money Yeah, that's it and then his mom asked for more money and we gave it to him. That's amazing, dude What an inspiring story? I didn't see the end of Blackberry Blackberry seems like I kind of want to watch the rest of it.

I didn't see that shit. Too much improv. It just feels like improv. I look at it and I go, there's improv happening here. I don't like it. Yeah, I get down because you know me I'm a former improv guy. So they bring me in like a tracker. Like a Comanche tracker, right? I go hold up and then I get down and I I'm like let me look at this trailer and I pick up some bits I'm like there was improv here. A rare skill a rare skill. It's not a skill it's it's a sickness. You can spot them from a mile away you go hmm that's one of them. They're like where did they go? They'd murder as an improver. This would be good. Come in. This would be a good cop movie. Yeah you know who's And you're across the street and you're like, get down, get down. That's crazy Steve. He's great with props.

Not so quick on his feet, but you put a plastic flamingo in his hands and he'll turn it into a Tommy gun in an instant. And then he's holding a gun, he's going like this, like he's innocent because the real criminal would hold the improv gun like this They're like, how do you know that what an f slur? Dumb to even sail in a stupid fake movie idea the improv the improv murders. I'd watch that All right, it's better than those puppet murders. Let's do it Shit, we're live. I think so. Benjamin says being a former improv guys the cringiest part of dicks past And that's coming from a guy who's a pedophile Wow, why would you come into the comments and say that?

Benjamin that's that's nuts man. Good luck with your urges. Here we go. I Think improv has you. Where's your biggest thing? Biggest problem. Value like communism? In the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. Not the biggest problem on the internet, Bo Blacks, you fucking dick. The show where we rank everything, every problem in the universe from paralyzing, no, from soapy cums to best friend bums. Not that. Porco Romanocco. I'm your host, Dick Masterson.

Joining me is always Vito Giswaldi. Hi, Dick. Or Keemstar's dermal thickness to Vito's buffet sickness. What do you think about that one? I think that's pretty good. Keemstar really taking it on the non-existent chin last week. Whatever his beard is covering up. He was taking it on they're fucking up over a little cam you think Yeah, it's just a bad. It's everyone agrees. It's bad and not funny and

Boring everyone was in their comments saying it and our comments saying it's a bad show. It's boring There's nothing that can be done to save it. And especially Boogie's boring. But especially Keemstar ruins how boring Boogie even is, they were saying. You gotta know how radio works, right? It's an audio-based format. People want everybody to have a good time, have some fun. Okay. And there's nothing fun about Keemstar being... Nobody wants a radio program where there's a guy who's like,

I'm the coolest guy ever and no one's allowed to call him an F-sler. It's called the Cool Dad Show. Because he might fire them. Yeah. Welcome to Cool Dads Live. I'm the coolest dad in the world. We got a caller. Oh, hey, you fa- okay, another joke caller. Keem, if you're not there to be goofed on and ridiculed and made fun of, then just get off the show and let them do it.

We got another caller. Hey, Cool dad. You're a huge piece of shit I would you want you can't okay? Fuck is this cool dad yeah long time listener. I'm a cool dad too. Yeah, everybody if what's the hardest You know the hardest part is what's the hard part your dad? You're a pedophile you fuck Get out of here if you want to say the lol cow podcast in every comment section You need to go and say keemem's a fucking idiot, Keem's the worst, Man, Boogie's so much cooler and more manly than Keemstar. Like, Keemstar has to understand that if he's gonna be on that show, he has to be one of the LOL Cows.

He is. And he is, you know, he is one. He had a big hug session after he fired that guy. Yeah, but he needs to stop crying. I had to fire fire the teenage editor because he made fun of me on the internet He sent in one of his women employees to defend him and she came you know how women are all sassy on Twitter It's like you didn't think you could hate women more But then they gave him Twitter and you're like God you're so fucking annoying when you're out of reach grabbing reach She's like you can't talk to your boss like that, I've been working for Keepsake for bled-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead old Connors but he's a young guy for going out there doing more than what he's asked to do.

Yeah. And then he gets fired for doing what the whole point of the show is is to create drama and interesting situations. Right. But you can't call Keem an F-slur even though he clearly is. You ready? You ready for this? You ready for last week's It Was Keem Stars, Thin Skin. Yeah. That won last week. Everyone go to the comments of that show and just be like the shows pretty good except for keem He's fucking lows keem's gay surprised He could wipe get all the goat come out of his beard before the show because it fucking sucks every comment Well, that was Connor Connor gets a notch as a win for the week. I get to go! Win! Big win.

Good work, Connor. Okay, then... Paralysis of choice. I won't pass on that. I'll take second. Probably because you brought it in two weeks in a row. No. Probably had practice with your... It's not the same. It's a different problem.

...buffet anxiety choice thing. The buffet problem is... My buffet problem was not choosing what to eat. That was one of many possible things. What's your, what's this, is it opportunity cost? Is that your problem this week? Opportunity cost. You know what, I'm actually sad that I, Nash's theorem, is that your problem this week?

I shouldn't have wasted, you know, it's such a good problem I brought in last week that I'm saying, and I'm like, man, I really should not have wasted it on that show. Excuse me? I barely got to get into it. Oh I think that's a I was really making Carl's Batali was making fun of your stats readings and wait where oh in private Yeah, my private put it on the show. What do you mean my stats reading? Everyone likes stats stats are great I read them. I don't just like what's he doing just reading stats like it's so boring

It's two seconds on the stats spurn and conversation. What did you want to get into more in your problem? Just all the different ways in which the consumer is confronted with too many options. You're like Mike Bogus lousky I think there's a lot of a lot of interesting things there Third place was who? Fans oh what I I got all the way last third place with friends family discounts And a dead last was dick with his stupid soap eject problem that he spent no motherfuckers are washing your hands. That's why You so busy jacking off you gotta wash your hands every once in a while. Well, what can you do? What the fuck doesn't that ever happen to you? You're so busy jacking off, you gotta wash your hands every once in a while. Well, what can you do?

What the fuck? Doesn't that ever happen to you? Where the soap gets all crusted on the... No, I posted a picture of my soap and everyone ripped on me. Vito! What? That wasn't ripping, that was an interventioning. Bro!

Bro! What? There's nothing wrong with this. What is this? That's my soap with this. What is this? That's my soap. No, this is a cry for help. This is just soap. It's just normal soap. I don't know what the problem is. I don't know why everybody freaked out about this. I don't know why it's not coming up on my thing here. It'd be really... Well, there you go. It doesn't even want you to see it. Add source at top. Resetring. It doesn't even want you to see it Add source atop

research it It's this see it says I told you I guys you can see it. Oh, just try adding it again Hit the plus button There it is. Well, how did that why did that happen? I don't fucking know. Look at this Vito Bro, just normal dove soap, bro It's just normal. Why is everybody freaking out? What is the problem? Well the age of the bottle is a problem. They discontinued this bottle shape in the early teens. No they didn't. I don't know if you knew that. This is a Dove

logo from 1983. That's not true. Dating the... That's not true. You wash your... Is this your only form of soap? Is this your only form of identification? That's my body this that's not you wash your is this your only form of soap is this your only form of identification That's my body wash. It's body wash. What do you want for whose body for my body corpses? Just normal Dove soap what else do you use? Shampoo okay, you see this like This is a problem. No, it's an orange soap so the orange stuff gets between the cap and it like crusts up. Whatever. You don't want to describe your soap as crusty.

I don't use that part. Well, the... You're touching it. I use the stuff that's in the bottle. So this leads me to believe that you've been sitting on this soap for some time. Are you rationing it out? no I just have a more than one bottle It's just this is the bottle that how many bottles you have in the shower this are you like jacking them off two at a Time it's perfectly normal soap. It's very normal

No, this is if you went to an Airbnb and saw this yeah, you should call the police There's so many problems with this why Why is the string like jauntily thrown over the soap bottle? Why do you have curtains in your shower? I don't know. I didn't design the shower. It just came that way. But you designed this picture and this didn't trouble you? Why do you have like a, what looks like hemorrhoid medicine over here? That's a toothpaste. No, that's a what do you call it? That's a hair dye developer for my beard.

Keep it a nice even color. Could you find a more disgusting place to put it than this? Does that's a little crap? A dating window sill window sill hole where all my garbage. Can you see children through this window slit right here? No, there's no children out there sadly? And then people thought I had mold that's not mold. It's just the the paint It's where it's much worse the paint's flaking away because why did they well?

That's the waterproofing over the wood. Yeah, we did a bad job of you know you could you could let somebody know or you could do It you could probably I probably should do something about that, because I think the wall's just filling up with water now. You think? From the shower, so there's probably a shit ton of mold in that crevice. Why don't you have a shower caddy? I have one! Why isn't there soap in it? I don't know, because sometimes, because I can't...

You have your little figure, your anime figures sitting in the shower caddy to feed off? I'll take a bath, and I sit in the bath, and I can't reach, you know, the shower caddy, because...? I'll take a bath and I sit in the bath and I can't reach the shower caddy. So this is, how high is this windowsill? I mean, I gotta reach up to get to it, but I can reach it. In the shower or in the bath? I can reach it from the bath. How high is this windowsill? Give me a hip, nipples, knees?

That's like chest height. So you're showering in with this goo and people are walking by and they can stare right at your tits. Yes. I did not design the bathroom man. What do you want? All right, it just came that way All right, but I keep the windows only open a crack so they'd really have to like needs to be shut and welded shut forever the crack is too if they walk by they can see my nipples. That's it. There was a crack in the Titanic. This is a chasm of shame. Well, they did raise my rent,

so I might go to my landlord and go, okay, if you're gonna raise my rent, you gotta fix this, this, and this. Fix the bathroom. Yeah, well. Take this soap, throw it in the bottom of the ocean. It's not that wrong with the soap. The soap's fine.

Bro, you need a mint-style soap. Why a mint? Because it's refreshing. You don't wanna rub your- I don't like the taste of mint. You're you need a mint style soap. Why a mint? Because it's refreshing. You don't want to rub your- I don't like the taste of mint. You're not supposed to be eating soap. Well, then I'm doing everything wrong. The second I said I don't like the taste of mint, I went, man, I just set up dick for a really good joke

How would you say that? I don't think about eating when I'm it's the smell that's refreshing you shithead I'm saying I don't like the sensation of mint The mouthfeel It makes me feel sick when I smell mint when I smell mint It makes you feel sick okay It makes me feel sick So you got honey and-

I don't like the taste of it. Well, you gotta eat the fucking soap you eat. You have a glowing mango, and do you mix it up or do you always go with the mango and almond butters? I don't know, man. It just seems like mango would be a nice little- Do you have a brush?

Do you have a long brush? I have a brush, yeah. I need to see a picture of that. It's hanging, can you see it in that picture? I guess not. It might be that thing, whatever that thing. This thing you watch your back this thing. I don't know what that is well, this is a Disaster it's just that I don't own your shower should be condemned. I don't own the apartment I'm not gonna like fix up the shower in it

What is this some sort of silly putty that's stuck to the side of the shower? I think that might be poster putty What's it what's it? Do you have a pee-poo hole into the into the neighbors? No Into the neighbors kitchen? Some old lady cooking up some wok some fried rice And you're in there beating off looking through the thing like porkies. Oh, yeah, put it some more put it some more shrimp Put it some mint. Oh no mint. Oh no, ew. I think I had some poster putty I was playing with it I left it in the shower

What you were playing with your putty in the shower? That's not that's supposed to be a euphemism Supposed to be your penis anyway everybody thought it ba-ba-ba. That's supposed to be a euphemism. It's supposed to be your penis. Anyway, everybody thought that there's mold, though. There's no mold. I mean, this is just... That's just flaking paint. This is...

What is under here? It's just darkness. It's a bunch of... Well, cause yeah, like, cause the window, I have to keep that window open to let all the steam out. Or else what? Or else the steam gets into my house. No.

There's no door in that bathroom. So there's no way to keep the steam from getting out. You have a doorless bathroom? I have a doorless bathroom. I have a- You shit with the door open all the time? I have a curtain instead of a door. Cause when I got the place, there was a door.

Like a belly dancer? What do you mean? I have a shower curtain for a door to get into the bathroom because when I got the place whoever designed it had the door open inwards into the bathroom which meant and that's right where the toilet is right and I'm a wide shitter okay if I'm gonna shit I gotta go wide I can leave my legs going out and I can't do that if the doors opening inward because in my legs banging against the door and

Because I don't know how to rehang a door to swing out the other way. I just took the whole thing You did it well I Bathroom yeah, cuz I needed to shit properly don't you feel weird like vulnerable is that why you're so amped up in there But somebody could bust in your house door and then you're just in there shitting like Vincent Vega with a why would two anime figures? Someone could bust into my door. That's not a common thing I have to deal with. But what if they did? What if they got the wrong apartment?

Look I just I have a curtain up alright and I pull the curtain and I do my business whatever a lot of places. Do you peek through it? Do your cats come in? My cats come in. Well that's actually kind of fun. That way the cats, if I'm taking a shower, they can run in, they can say hi, whatever else. You know?

And also, their litter box is in there too. So that way they can always get to the litter box. It's all steamy and cat shit in there? Yep, steamed cat shit. I guess that's, now what are you gonna do? The bathroom's for shitting. The cat shit cat shit. I guess that's... Now what are you gonna do? The bathroom's for shedding, the cat shit, I shit. It's not a big deal.

Okay, but everyone did think it was a big deal. You know, one of the best things about living alone is you can do whatever you want. I remember, don't remind me. And I don't, if I didn't post pictures of it, none of you would ever know. I only post pictures of it because I don't care anymore. Nothing matters I'm just having fun. Okay. Well use an old soap if you have some Vito's and that he's not gonna eat adopting a wide shitting stance

Because that's the American way. If you two have a curtain in your bathroom. Yeah Well, it's not great. Have you wash the curtain ever? Yeah, I washed the curtain Really? Yeah when I do laundry I sun the curtain. You take your bathroom curtain down? Yeah Hmm. I'm gonna have to see a picture of that too. Send a picture of what? You putting it in the washing machine. Taking the curtain off. It comes off easy. It's like a shower curtain. It's actually two shower curtains Okay Let's see It comes off easy. It's like a shower curtain. It's actually two shower curtains Okay Let's see Red man says it annoys me irrational and when veto uses the word neg in the place of insult

Now sometimes you latch onto a word Plalmer says how has veto never expanded on the dominoes lore that shit is hilarious says how has Vito never expanded on the Domino's lore? That shit is hilarious. For the love of God Vito grunts rule says we need more autistic fast food videos. You explaining how Subway destroyed the fast food industry was incredibly fascinating. Yeah, I guess I didn't realize that this is not common knowledge. I guess it's common knowledge in the fast food restaurant industry. Community? Yeah. Yeah. Because I lived through it. Again, my dad was running all these Dominic's pizza He's going five dollar footlong is gonna destroy this country

Like I think we'll be okay and he's like you don't understand you haven't seen what I've seen Are you gonna do it? I might do it I would write it and I would do the voiceover and someone else has got to step in and put all the you Guaranteed somebody's gonna bother you about wanting to edit it. Like someone listening. Well, I got one guy who's a potential editor, but if there's somebody, somebody else actually took a, made a clip from the show and I got to post it.

But I wanted to see if I could get the sources from him. Cause he, I want it. You got to do that thing where you put the captions on. If you put up a short and a guy doesn't have captions, nobody watches it. I'm not gonna do it. Alexander Dulinoff says, Man, you think Vito is cringe.

Then he busts into a fever dream Domino's story. I would watch all day about his food autism. I wanted to write a show about pizza delivery and you and Randy made fun of me. Well, you pitched like, you pitched the most, you pitched like the most condescending show for the audience

that possible It's like a you tell someone to make your story they make like what they it's like an alien making something that it thinks people want the show would be about a bunch of pizza delivery drivers and every episode is basically encountering insane customers Like what? Like when I delivered to like a black frat house and they wouldn't let me leave until I smoked all their weed And that was kind of fun. Okay HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA That's just a fat white kid. I don't know what it is. It's like, somehow turning it into a sitcom turns it into shit.

Well, sitcom, because everybody has an idea of what a sitcom is. You have to do it like a Always Sunny, where it's like not obvious scripted bullshit. Always Sunny was funny like 15 years ago, though. Always Sunny, I think, would still be funny now if it came out. The last seasons were just like woke trash. I have not watched the last seasons. Well, the reason they're bad now is again,

well, it's a problem with all comedy. You can't get away with what you used to get away with 10 years ago, that's why I keep saying it. You also pitched it as a liberal moves back home with his brother and they have a pizza shop together. Yeah. A liberal. Like the original odd couple.

Because it would be, you know, in my head, I'm like, OK, I'm the shitty liberal who has to move back home with my maga loving brother Dick Masterson because our father has died. This is what I mean about the condescending to the audience. Yeah. Well, yeah, but we would get whatever. And then the crazy taxi pizzas. That's the funny part. Crazy taxi of pizzas. Yes. Yeah

Well, you can't do that every episode you gotta have some sort of drama It's like the bear is that the name of that show if you see that thing But you're aware that people are watching that right retards. It's like one of those popular shows right now So is the office so it'd be the The Bear, Meats is Always Sunny, Meats Pizza. Look, man, obviously I'm an expert at pitching television shows. Just do the $5 foot long thing. I'll do it.

All right. Kicks Mechanics says this show is way better than the Lul Cal podcast. You interact with your audience and are actually funny. Yeah, that's true. Speaking of interacting with the audience, guys, don't forget memberships are now available. Is this the chat?

No. I fucked up. You're looking at the channel. Okay. Well, don't forget that memberships are now available. What are you doing? I'm trying to gift some memberships on this stupid channel. How?

You gotta go to the, it's a very convoluted bullshit. I have to go to the actual- And now you're playing us over as people are gonna get confused. Oh, you have to go through the front? Yeah, you have to go here and then I have to go to membership gifting and gift five memberships! Wow! We're just giving it away! I told you we should have waited until the end to do this. Well, no, now people know the memberships exist now five

More people have memberships and are able oh randomly the malware got one. I like that guy sir Kekington got one okay, and now they have access to all our new. We have new emojis. We've seen the new emojis There's mother's milk. Did you see that that Peppa the pig Vito emoji that guy made did you put that in? I didn't put that one in, no. It looks cool though. Why don't we make something that like rip on dick? Yeah, put me in like a drunk. Why don't you guys come up with some dick emojis?

Like a fat, like a piece of poop with my hair on it. Yeah. Mr. Long Wiener or whatever that character was. Cody versus the internet. Oh, R.A.P. Carr is the other one. That's pretty good. That's a good one. I have bad news too. Vito saw the Ves booty this week, and he was snooping around upstairs Is it that way it's not going to be an exciting vetoes boo was that vetoes booty for this week? What do you stop snooping around you left it on the kitchen table?

But you walk in with like your eyes like a cartoon eyes out of your head crawling all over my shit The box is just sitting there on the table. I thought I had time because you walked in with a bag of food. I'm like, he's gonna be all over that food. I came in 30 minutes before showtime, you had plenty of time to hide Vito's booty. 30 minutes? 30 minutes! I'm like a- I'm a 15 minute guy. And we're late anyway.

Uh, Cody vs the internet. Vito, communism is good because of youth baseball, because no families could meet once a week to play baseball. You got another example? Vito, I gave an example. The idea is just to give people a social safety net, mostly so they take care of themselves and their own families. How's that working?

Well, we haven't done it yet. How do you explain that? True UBI has not been tried. How are some people eating? All those people that don't have jobs that I'm talking about. Well. Where's all the money going then? That's a different problem, you know?

What problem is that? I don't know. There's a lot of problems. I got in trouble on Twitter. I'm getting in trouble on Twitter all week. Because the Oakland jewelry store tweet, or is that one on the home page? No, no, I don't have that.

I just been playing the theme song. What was about Oakland jewelry store? Got a jewelry store got robbed in Oakland. Shocker. Wow. Well, that's the thing. What was about Oakland jewelry store? Got a jewelry store got robbed in Oakland, you know? Shocker, wow. Well, that's the thing. It was the end wokeness, which is a big Twitter account that follows me. And I think I know who runs it, but I won't say who.

They posted a video of a Asian couple owns a jewelry store in Oakland, thankfully scared off some robbers with a shotgun. But my take was why the fuck would you own a jewelry store in Oakland? People were like, classic. What are you gonna say? So because of what she was wearing she deserved to get raped? And I'm like, well, not deserved to, but I wouldn't have walked down that alleyway. So you shouldn't have a jewelry store in all of Oakland?

No one should live in Oakland who has a brain in their head. No one should have a business. I live, okay, I'm allowed to say that cuz I lived in Oakland. I lived there Yeah, I know what it's like right right right no one should live there living There was the worst thing that ever the worst place. I've ever lived in my life, okay Why because what's the top three problems? What's the top three problems? Well, if I say that might get on a list but my car got broken into all the time and then eventually just by how right stolen Oh, I can't tell you who you know, they do it in the middle of the night

I can only imagine what sort of spirited you stole my car. Okay The cops are non-existent there. Well, that's good, but that's good I'm gonna Good if you want to commit crimes, you know, right? It's your eye. It's your ideal city No, no, no. Oh, what I'll say this the best thing about oak The only good thing about Oakland right was the flea market was banging. It's all stolen. Yeah, dude You would go to the Oakland flea market at the fucking next to the high school or whatever and you're just like, oh my god, all this shit is like brand new and half price.

You get an Xbox, a brand new Xbox for like a hundred bucks. Oh man, my dad loved buying stolen shit. He loved buying stolen shit so much that he would just buy crap because they made it look like it was stolen. Yeah, right. He'd be like, I bought these three leather jackets. He's like, leather jackets. They look like why'd you buy who needs three leather jackets? Look, they got tags all over them and shit. Yeah, you'd also go cheap cuz they fell off the truck I'm like, are you sure that it's not just like Naga hide from The best part of the Oakland flea market is the guys who you go

You just grabbed whatever you could get off the shelf hunks. They'd have like mayonnaise jars and like you're like who's buying flea market mayonnaise man? That's a little much Soap toothbrushes basically anything they grab off the shelves. Oh yes to stock their booth How long does it take you to go through one of those? Things of soap can you write a date on it? I had a date on it when you crack it open and then tell me when you throw that date away. I've had them for like three months. I use a little squirt. It takes a while to go through. Okay, so no jewelry stores in...

Oakland? No one should be in Oakland. Well how are they gonna get to UBI then without the jewelry store? Dude, Oakland is the worst. It's so bad. And then every time I had like a buddy, he's like, oh man, my band is like visiting Oakland. And then he did a show and he's like,

oh, they broke into my car and they stole everything. And I'm like, yeah, why'd you do a show in Oakland? No one should do shows there. No one should have businesses there. The fact that a Pixar is there. And then the worst part. Pixar's in Oakland? That's the worst part of Oakland.

It's right next to Emeryville. Emeryville is basically just Oakland. They're directly next to each other. Okay. Is all these white people are like, there's just like so much culture here. They say that about Oakland? Yes!

They're like, oh, it's like so, it's like real. It's like living in a real city. And you're like, it's like living in a crime-infested hellhole. That's where Berkeley was. That's why I went to that Pepsi riot fucking thing. Oh yeah. living in a real city and you're like, it's like living in a crime-infested hell hole. That's where Berkeley was. That's why I went to that Pepsi riot fucking thing. Cause it's all Berkeley, Berkeley and Oakland are frankly extremely, so you have a bunch of hippie

F-slur kids studying gender neutral arts or whatever. And then you go a couple blocks south and people shoot at you. My favorite Oakland story. My favorite Oakland story is there was a guy who was painting a peace mural on a bridge. You know? The nicest thing you could do, a mural for peace.

Everybody loves peace. And a guy rolled up and shot him to death and stole his paints. And I went, that's Oakland! That's it! That's the entire city summarized in one incident. Is, we can all come together every brother every Guy that who's painting it who's painting it. I think it might have been a black guy. I'm hoping that's better

That's right. There was some like No, it's a nice new says they're white black artists getting things done Someone rolled up killed him for his paints and shit. They sell the paints? And I was like these brushes seem used and there's a lot of red paint all over them. Don't worry about that. Just buy them Yeah, Oakland's the worst Anytime God it drives me nuts cuz again, I hung out with all those like hippie, weirdo video game kids. There's a weird little indie video game scene there. And again, they'd all be like, Oh my God, I just love the culture of Oakland and Emeryville. And I'm like, yeah, because you don't leave, you don't leave this area part of it. Right. And then I would hang out with Tim Rogers who bought a cop car at one point. He had a crowned Vic that he bought

it in auction. And we'd be like, hey, let's go get tacos. And we'd go outside and go, oh, they stole my car again. They stole his car pretty much every two months. Because they would see a Crown Vic, and the kids would go, oh, cool, I can hot wire that. We'll drive it around, crash it into a wall. Then we'd just get it back like two months later and be like, hey, my Crown Vic's back.

What could we do to stop to fix it? What do you think we should do? Nuk it from orbit. Nuk it. There's no fixing. I mean, I guess you could vote out all the Democrats. What could we do to stop to fix it? What do you think we should do get from orbit nuke it? There's no fixing. I mean, I guess you could vote out all the Democrats. Um Let's see Stu pendis says hey, did you see Eric July's gay award? He got it from a rinky-dink community college in my town The Dow High School has a bigger campus I wish I knew he was gonna be there and PS if you know this town

It looks like a looks like a diversity ward written all over it so the town's very I'm confused about you see this award that Is this not a legit award is this like a fake? College kind of situation all awards are fake, but what is this is Northwood college the black Businessman of the Is a young businessman or something who dressed Eric's wearing his Dapperist gay out outfit he's wearing a 70 year old gay man's leisure Suit it was interesting to see without a baseball cap a shirt on. Why does he need a baseball cap at all? Does he ever not appear with... Is he bald? I don't know. He won the entrepreneur of the of the year award

named after the guy who invented Avon. Young entrepreneur? What is the cutoff for young entrepreneur? Because he's like 33, 34. I thought young entrepreneur would be like in your 20s or something. He is, how about that? You haven't won any awards for your comic. I won a South by Southwest Tabletop Game of the Year 2014. So for Star Wars. Liberty and business for all.

This is the Richard Devoes, young entrepreneur, guy that invented Avon. One of the biggest scams in history. Did they ask him for a picture of himself and he sent the cartoon picture? Did they agree on that? Yeah, he loves those cartoons. Yeah. But what university is this?

Community college, I imagine. Is it a community college? Why would he accept a community college award? Because it's part of business, Vito. You don't understand when you're doing business. But did he go to this college? What is his connection to this college? I think they just offered him a random college goes. Hey, you didn't go here. He must have went here entrepreneur

Who else is one? Yeah, who else has won this Ripper verse founder? Oh my god He put a press release on its own website about winning a stupid award. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on Eric do you know how Eric July is always saying, don't worry about your peers, the customer is the only thing that matters? He's always saying like, oh, all these industry awards are bullshit, and like all these pros are winning IZER awards

and none of it matters. But now he's bragging about winning the dumbest award a college Young businessman's award, and he put a press release on his own website about it Why I'm up in this fancy pimp suit. Why's he got a flower? He probably thought it was a problem his brooch It's a different look I'll say that It's a different look, I'll say that. It's a good look. Is that a bolo tie?

Wait, is that a gem? I think that's a bolo tie. Oh, it's a bolo tie, yeah. He's doing a bolo. Is this a real flower or is it a fake flower that he's got on there? Well, maybe this is a Texas look. We're not Texas guys. Oh, yeah.

That's where they came up with that thing. So the white suit, the southern gentleman kind of look here Yeah, only where when our weird come from Texas. I've heard it when I was coming up with the rip-a-verse I reckon okay, oh and wait Nobody's writing press releases for you. How come mr.. Girl can Why? I don't want anyone to write press releases for me. He had the Soska Sisters write a press release for him? Shouldn't they be writing comics?

Wait, that's so weird. How did that conversation even happen? Hey guys, I just won a stupid award. Why don't you crank out a press release for me? Can you crank out? Pay anyone else to do that. Don't tell your comic I'm beyond thankful for this Retarded award okay top 20 on Northwood University

Top 20 under 40 so were there 19 other people who won this yeah It was a part of their outstanding business leaders, okay. Tell me what Northwood University is is this a real Click click the link click the link Standing Business Leaders Award. Okay, tell me what Northwood University is. Is this a real university or not? I don't know. What do you mean? Click the link. I'm sure it has a website. Look, it's America's Free Enterprise. Liberty and Business for All.

So it's a business school, okay? No, it's a Liberty and Business School. What is a Liberty and Business School? Free Enterprise Leaders. Liberty and the Front, Business in the Back. Oh, look at all these nice white people and Asian people taking these classes. Someone's got to tell me in the comments if this is a real college.

There are many young, is this what he said? Oh yeah. Diploma firms. Being able to interact with both the students and the accomplished alumni was nothing short of inspiring. Just say inspiring. Well, it was nothing short of inspiring. It was nothing short of one of the most, it was nothing short of one of the most

beyond inspiring things. I walk away from this event being incredibly optimistic about the future. Just say optimistic, stop. Oh, let him extrapolate. There are many young people out there with a good head on their shoulders striving for absolute greatness.

This guy me insane. Thank you to Northwood U for welcoming me like family. What the fuck? What is? I thought this was a business. Does it explain anything? This is originating, okay. And then it's just about his company again,

and it's a bunch of fucking, okay, so this is- That's a presence. This is more, hey, investors, look at this kind of shit. This year's honorees also include the Senior Vice President of Automotive Sales of Honda. That seems way more impressive, but what do I know? Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn hosted the honorees in an awards gala on April 6th.

Eric T. Jalai attended to accept his award and share his sentiments about receiving this prestigious honor. Are we getting a documentary from the son? I guarantee he must have filmed his speech for release at some point. Why is he standing there with a little table with his cartoon on it and his little suit? Look man. His little important man suit. If you're in the area at a little... Look at my brooch. Look, I'm'm gonna say Eric can get awards. That's fine No, it's not a word suck don't get the sasca's to write a press release about it and just just go yeah

I went to a thing. It was like a fun little thing. He always makes a big deal out of all this shit though You know yeah Pretend business like again. I've won awards for like stupid design shit. I don't know talk about it I haven't won any awards ever. Yeah, I'm jealous Well, all right, you wanna know last place for this for last episode. Thanks a lot. Congrats on that my problem dick Is gonna be one well, which one do I start with here? I'll tell you what, go to my Twitter real quick.

Shocker. Shut up. This is my way, instead of sending you links, I can just tweet the links and then you have it. I saw this came across my feed recently. Okay. Here, I'll go to it. Let's see here.

This is from a guy, who the hell is Mike Hoffman? Building a tribe of passive preneurs Generating passive income 10 passive passive income. That's a great hearing about it I want to murder somebody everyone who has it. Yeah Well, I was a secret of the secret of life is passive income. Oh the secret of life is getting money for nothing Wow Really? Well, this man.

Did you learn that at business school? This beautiful passive entrepreneur who had 70,000 followers decided to tweet out this tweet thread here, actually. How do I bring this up? Do I hit that browser? Okay, here's from Mike Hoffman. He says, I found a guy who goes around the US asking

70 to 100 year olds, why don't you say elderly people, their biggest regrets, biggest lessons, and advice for their younger self. Oddly enough, most of their answers are the same. As you can see, this thread has 321. Are they still doing the knockout game? Where you go out behind people and knock them out? They gotta do that to old people only.

They're starting to do it to women. I'm like guys And not even fat women regular women like that's not cool knock out these people. Yeah, get rid of these motherfuckers Hey, I got a question. What do you think kids could do to? Be successful or those sprinting too much money on These videos but like Everyone go, yeah the black people! Yeah! Healing the divide! I want to hit these people with the fire hose

after they answer these questions Alright? So here's You know what? I'll just go straight to the one Let's see, it was number 7 All these videos are basically the same, it's old people telling young people what to really focus on what's important in life. Right, right.

Now let's hear here. What is something you thought was really important when you were younger, but as you got older you realized it wasn't that important? Material, goods, and more money than one really needs. As a younger person, I think, you know, we tend to want to make a lot of money and acquire a lot of material. Really? Build a big house, grow a car, all those things, and, you know, I realize that's not what life is about. Life's about your relationships. Okay, okay. Life's not all about money. Interesting. Love?

Being able to know what abundance really is and what enough means and having enough. It's peaceful. I love being peaceful. What does abundance mean to you? Paying the bills when they come in the mail. Wanting what we have so that we don't want more. Okay. You already lost everybody there, you jackass. You fucking shiz-yiel, you boomer fuck. Total piece of shit.

Hold on, he's gonna tell us. Life's simple. It's not complicated at all, dick. Listen. The more peace you lose, right? I mean, simplify it. That's where we're at. I got a beautiful wife, I got a great family. I've got my health. Your wife's a dumb bitch. I've got enough money that I don't have to worry about things.

I've got enough money that I don't have to worry about things, Dick. I hate boomers so much. I hate them in a way that makes me want to turn inside out. Every time I hear them talk, I can hear their smug fucking tone through a concrete wall, a three foot concrete thick wall. I can hear them smirking at me. Well, you know, all you had to do was live through a cycle of a boom and bust interest rates like I did.

I mean, I sold my sperm and bought three houses and I rent them to you. So my problem is boomers saying money isn't everything when they live through a period of incredible, yes, wealth generation. They lived through the beginning of a Ponzi scheme. You guys remember that? That whole thread. You guys remember when you had more of you paying into Social Security than there was of you?

Yeah, we don't fucking have that anymore, bro. No. And you're sitting in your Tommy Bahamas doing interviews and then running home and banging your wife with your erectile dysfunction medicine. I was so mad to see this thread being like retweeted to everybody, everyone going, you know, that's really wise.

Money isn't everything. Material possessions aren't that good. And they're talking to these people, and they're like, well, you know, we just decided to simplify. So we sold everything, and now we live on a boat that we bought. Sold half our houses. Yeah, we sold.

We bought a boat. And now we just live on the boat with all our money. And we have, we don't have to work and we're retired and we have money in the bank and you're like, okay, so this advice is useless. Yeah. It's very easy to say, well, money's not the most important thing when you have a giant supply of money that most of us do not have. We just wanted to acquire wealth. We were not looking to acquire wealth, bro. We're trying to keep our money from evaporating. They're like, so boost your house value.

Once I bought my fifth car, I realized, you know, do I really need five cars? Like, bitch, I have a 2,000... They're so fucking smug. Seven Honda Element, and if it dies, I'm going to cry because I'm going to have to pay for another car I can't fucking afford. You can tell they're bad because of how happy they are You can tell they're bad. They're bad guys because of how happy like when I was a kid I was like, oh, maybe you just kind of get older and get happy and I get

angrier and meaner Every year as the suffering compounds. Yeah, I know It's because they just lived on fucking easy street all the way up. You bought a house for $50,000. You put whatever money you made off your pension and fucking the... College cost you two grand. Health insurance cost you $20. Yeah, when he says I got my... And there wasn't some fat Filipino nurse not giving you Vicodin when you needed it. They would give you steroids for fucking fun, bro. You could just walk around smoking weed with both hands. You didn't need it to be legal.

Why? Because you just wouldn't get arrested. 90% of the country was white. Everybody going, you know, there's a lot of wisdom to be gained here. And it's like, yeah, when you have a bunch of money, you have different priorities. And when you don't have a lot of money, you have to scramble to acquire it to fucking survive. This guy's talking about I got my health. It's again, you probably have a cushy fucking health care plan that you've been grandfathered into or whatever. How about the STAB game? Or you're just getting it from social security. That's an amazing interview. Thanks man. The SHANK game. So what advice would you give to young people? Oh that's crazy man crazy man shank Thanks for all that great advice

boomer and this fucking guts spilling out like Jurassic Park all these people are going oh my god You know I really learned a lot and I really need to learn to value the people around me or whatever And I'm like I need to acquire capital now. I don't die in a gutter when I'm 60 okay like that's it You lose 50 pounds. Yeah, well 60 buddy Come on. I'm not that unhealthy Motherfuckers are dying at 65 who is Motherfuckers are didn't you hear me? All right? I'll work on it. What is the average? What lifespan at your weight? I don't know. What's the actuarial tables at?

Have you looked no take you think it is? I hope it's not, I hope it's 70. Lifespan by weight in America. Do they have that? Have you heard of life insurance? Yes, they have it. Ah, 77. A BMI of over 30.

What do you think your BMI is? Probably like 33, I don't know. Can we calculate it right now? Go calculate it. My scale has it. No, just go BMI calculator. Okay. Can we calculate it right now go calculate my skill has it no just hit go be on my calculator, okay? Calculating your body mass index Six feet six feet tall two ninety pounds

295 to 90 to 90 fucking no way are you to 90? 40 it's not good So what do I gotta get it down to That's the one You gotta get it down to 30 Figure out what the BMI of that is It's probably I say 50 pounds? 240, 240. No, that's gonna be too high.

Bro, if you lost 50 pounds, you're still over that death BMI. Yeah, I know. It's awful. No, if I lost 40 pounds, I'm still over the death BMI. Let's get you down to 220. 220 is probably what I gotta be at. 220 would be just under. Then you're at the death B okay, what's the well let's it's because it's let's see life Expectancy

Morbid no offense morbidly. This is a scientific term I know but I don't want you getting upset like I'm typing in it as a joke Oh, if you're sorry, this is really a spy and estimated five to twenty years. Okay, twenty years Well, twenty years off. I told you 57 I gotta I got time I'm gonna I got I got time who cares I'm not gonna have any money anyway it's like what am I gonna do it's probably better if I live less time I don't got to worry about saving that's true fucking investing that's true Christ the stock market just crashed just going to war with Iran now oh yeah these guys don't gotta worry about saving that's fucking investing. That's true Christ the stock market just crashed cuz going to war with Iran now. Oh, yeah, these guys don't care They get to live on a boat. They'd love for you know what makes him hard once you get to your third house

You really got to realize this is enough. You know my fourth house was excessive. Yeah, yeah So I just sit on my and again. This is coming from the passive investment guy Yeah, so I just sit on my and again, this is coming from the passive investment guy Whose whole thing is like and you know the real way to happiness is to you know Become a landlord and exploit other people will never be able to afford their own home You know and just yeah, hold them into the ground forever. Are you starting to see why I was so pro-covid? I was also God gave us this beautiful disease pro-COVID. I was also pro-COVID. God gave us this beautiful disease.

Yeah. Well, it wiped out at least half boomers. It didn't wipe out enough boomers. Because people were taking all these stupid measures. Yeah, you're right. We should have definitely slow rolled that back. We should have been cranking up the ventilators. Should have been going door to door, knock, knock, knock.

I get a little ventilator for you. Ah! I should have worked to increase the curve. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about just like, what if I just got some COVID and I just went to like old folks home, just rubbed it on shit. Yeah. Yeah. You know, every nice house in the area, put a bunch of COVID on all everything. Okay. So what's the rest of this? Well, the rest of this is just basically, I mean, look, it's just this guy, they're all talking about how fucking inspiring these people are. Yeah.

And uh... 93. What's your secret for looking so great in 93? What's your secret for looking so great? Is it the guy who cries because his wife's dead, because that's all they get to think about now? Good. Fuck her. I'm tired of paying your bitch wife social security, fuck you. Uh...

Join her. Think about her. Where's the couple? Wear that heart out. Where's this couple? Oh, wait, is it this one? Second? No.

Nope. ...important when you were younger, but as you got older you realized wasn't that important. Who is this pencil to? Material things. Material things. Now we live on a boat, and we sold pretty much everything. We thought we would miss it, regret it, whatever. You know, we sold our extra houses

You know we spent our youth trying to get bigger and bigger houses Which means that you had bigger and bigger houses. It's not you didn't try to get them You had them like you had all this wealth You're in no position to tell her you know in my in my youth I can't believe it I spent all this time getting bigger and bigger houses. There's such pieces of shit. I don't have one house! I would take a little one! I would be happy with that. You could get a little house if you stopped buying toys.

I could get a little one right now, but I don't want to get one in... It's just like a canned... like they heard this shit from somebody on TV. Or church or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't like material. We sold our material things. Well, that's not giving them up. It's just changing them into money. Who'd you give them to?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yourself. Oh, he sold them. At the peak of, at the Pico top of the market. Yeah, that's the funny thing is they're going, you know, we just had to let go of material things and convert them into cash for our larger vacations. Yeah, I gave them to my money, my broker.

Come on, what do you mean? We got rid of our material things, just like Jesus. They just didn't buy bonds, dude. This is advice for us, the younger generation. Nicer cars and all this kind of stuff. Right. Multiple cars. A lot of that stuff now is meaningless.

A lot of that stuff now is meaningless, not all of it. I still like my first house and I still like the Ferrari I kept, but most of that stuff. Most of that's crap. Once I got the Ferrari, I realized the Porsche was no longer a necessary. So what is meaningful in life?

What's meaningful in life? Relationship, health. Friends, being social, love every moment, live every day. What is a- Yeah, and all your friends have a bunch of money. None of them have to work, so you have plenty of time to hang out and figure out where to invest, you know? Talk to all my insider trading pals. I can't hang out with my friends. Why?

Because they're working all the time! I can't have meaningful relationships! Not to buy bigger houses! Oh, really work on your relationships. I can't afford a woman and all her fucking needs and shit, and she's gotta work and I gotta work. You guys grew up on easy Street You're in no position to give any advice to anyone if I ever say shit like that what's important life like relationships and friends Just shoot me. It's important life is a giant pile of money that you sit on

Yeah, maybe passively and generate more of it That's it and then you don't have to do anything else Yeah, guys. I got a hot tip for you passive income so I dropship so I don't have to do anything else yeah guys. I got a hot tip for you passive income So I don't have to be up till 4 a.m. Designing trading cards. No one's going to care about other than that's a you thing All you had to do is make the comic get the comic out the door sell another comic You should be on super killer three or four by now. You should be lapping isom True, I think we might. I think, uh... How are we gonna lap ISOM at this point? I got a plan.

I think... What is the plan? Well, he's slow rolling ISOM 3. It hasn't even happened yet. You are slow rolling Superkiller! He is... Look, I don't have four different books. I don't want to have four different books.

I'm not slow-running superkiller What do you mean? You could crank out a new superkiller every couple of months. I'm working on that You're gonna you're gonna feel stupid what's the pizza tracker at you're gonna feel stupid in like a year when it's all In a year is way too long. It's got to be three months time here. We're gonna have ten issues now What's how many pages you this week? We're gonna have ten issues out. How many pages you this week? Stop with this look we have a plan we have a schedule All I know is the pogs are at the printers

Every time you post about like pogs and lunchboxes everyone's Says rude things. Well, they say where's the comic comic? And I go, well, I got to make the other stuff. I promise people tchotchkes. Look, here's the thing that people don't realize is making the tchotchkes creates design elements I can use later for other aspects of the Super Killer Universe. Oh. It's like you've sunk the cost, and it's

well, if I make things are valuable, you already sunk the money into it. But it's not right. It's not bad. It things are valuable you already sunk the money into it, but it's not It's not bad can be extrapolated out. I can use those graphics for various Other projects other pogs well yeah exactly place mats when I need to make the next series They'll already be ready to go mugs you could make the pogs are gonna be cool. I wish they were cheaper to produce though a Sheet of pogs cost two bucks. I told you this stuff is gonna kill you well What do you call it? It's only with the lunch box you get the Pogs. I just wish I could make more you know Cuz Pogs are cool. What do you mean you wish you could make more like I wish if they were like a buck a sheet

I'd order like a thousand of them, but since you know why I give them out of conventions or something Okay, are you gonna go to conventions and sign your book? I'm any I'll sign it. I'll do whatever you have to have two issues of superkiller out a year. I Agree, I think we do three or four Just do two. I'll try to do two. Yeah, I think I do one and then do two. Well, I got to uh, here's the Yeah, we got it. You know what? I'm feeling I got like how many scripts have you written? one Why well I have the other two in like I have two and three no, no, no

They're in like rock got a lot of Christmas presents in brain for issue two and issue three are in a draft Issue three is actually a lot easier to write issue two is the one I'm hung up on you. We should talk about issue two No, it's gotta get I'm not talking on. We should talk about issue two after the show. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH No, it's gotta get- I'm not talking about it. I just want to run the plot by you. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Are you done?

I'm done. Wrongful convictions is my problem. Okay. You know, uh, O.Jful convictions is my problem. Okay. You know, OJ died recently. Right. Who was almost wrongfully convicted. If he was white, he probably would have died in prison.

You're saying he was wrongfully convicted for stealing back his sports memorabilia. Murdering the murder of his wife, which he obviously did not do. No, no, no. And was obviously framed by the LAPD God he got away with it or off whatever Thank God he got away with it is not normally what you describe a imagine that you're innocent man

You're in minding your own business Somebody kills your wife, probably your son. You rush over to see what's going on. And then all of a sudden the whole LAPDs... I love that part. ...trying to frame you. Yeah. Probably was his son.

All of a sudden, all the LAPDs trying to frame you for murder, they get off on this shit. That racist cop who admitted to using the N word. They're all racist Wow all the cops. Yeah a racist and they but thankfully they planted gloves that were too small That was their one slip up. They planted blood on his socks too. They planted blood on his socks Yeah, they did a ton of they did a ton of bad shit Where were the socks in his house? In the middle of his room and then they they had no blood and then they all of a sudden They had blood on them later. What room and then they had no blood and then all of a sudden they had blood on them later. What do you mean they had no blood?

They had no blood on them in the room and then the guy's walking around with blood and spilled a bunch of it all over the socks. Did they have a picture of it with no blood? Look, I'm not gonna- Yeah. I'm being dead serious. He was framed by the LAPD. Did he do it?

I don't think so, but he was definitely framed. Well, I guess it gets complicated where maybe he did it, but they added extra evidence. Isn't that a thing? Yeah, that's called framing. Yeah, I know. That's called wrongful conviction. Yeah, I didn't follow all the OJs, which is weird because I think I watched both the OJ Simpson documentaries that came out.

Wasn't it great? They didn't talk about the socks ever in either of those documentaries. Because they all have an angle, you know? Even now they're saying like black people love it because they killed white people. It's like, well, I mean, not really. Like the LAPD was really going to town on black people. Oh man, it was real bad. The LAPD is basically responsible for Obama getting elected.

The LAPD is responsible for all all this basically everything where it's like well They were just beating the shit out of every black guy. They saw yeah, they love it especially the black ones The black Hobbs Rodney King was a big problem 3,000 exonerations since 1990 and the National Registry of Exonerations. I didn't find very good stats for this. Oh, okay.

Because everything I looked up, it was like all just how black people are more wrongly incarcerated. Well. It's like black people are three times. Like, well, what's the number there? I think any, yeah, that's always the problem with looking up crime stats. You go, and this most affects black people, black people.

This most affects black people. I can't believe it kill that poor woman studies estimate that between four to six percent of people incarcerated in Prisons are actually innocent. I believe that Yeah, well well Innocent like 100% innocent. That's interesting. I mean, I don't it's probably a bullshit study though. Yeah, who knows a lot of bull Well, how do you know? Yeah, you can't really know if I know I know If I walk into any situation and about 5% of things are fucked up

I would say that's pretty not too bad, right? You guys did a good job, but isn't that wouldn't that step be the ultimate guesser? Did you like you talked about you really go? Well, all of them say they're innocent, so let's say 5% of them are correct. They don't all say they're innocent. All the criminals I know are pretty proud of themselves. Because they think they figured out like a cheat. They think they figured out like a life hack.

I thought that's a crime. That's a life hack. Everyone knows about that life hack. I thought I had a life hack, but then this week they- Everyone know you can change the digits on a check and it's a smart smartest man in the world I Thought I had a life hack going but now they said targets got new facial Recognition stuff to make sure you scan everything in your car when you go through the self checkout Oh, you still have them what the cell check out. Yeah, there's like a couple there's like they ripped

They've completely, well, they've went from 15 self check, no, from 12 self checkouts down to four. Yeah. So now there's always a big line to use them and they're almost pointless. Yeah. And the whole time now there's a lady watching you like a hawk going like, you gotta scan that.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They finally figured out that it was just a free money glitch. It's awesome, man. It was awesome. Literally for the last 10 years, it'd be like, all right, you get like a free money glitch. It's awesome, man. It was awesome. Literally, for the last 10 years, it'd be like, all right, you get a free thing at lunch for me.

You get a free. And word finally got out. Well, everybody figured. Because, OK, they did a bunch of stuff to like, they really thought they could psychologically trick people into thinking that people were watching this. And you're like, you know how they have that thing at the front and it's like a video feed of you scanning your own shit?

Yeah. And you're like, who's that that fooling what someone's watching this somewhere like it doesn't matter Recording it says recording in progress. They're like trying to psychologically make you think somebody's watching that. Yeah, what's gonna happen? If I steal something they go hey you stole that you go. Oh fuck. I guess I scanned it wrong Yeah, guess you better call the cops like yeah, it's a $20 item. What are you gonna do something to jail? Yeah, guess you better call the cops like yeah, it's a $20 item. What are you gonna do something to jail? Anyway, that's over with there's two million people in prison in jails It's a 500% how many for us all check out fraud. I wonder probably a lot probably a lot Um can't go to I guess I just don't Well people get off right?

So people probably get on to get off, right? So, people probably get on too. Get off on crimes. Like if they're fucking up the guilty guys, you gotta be fucking up the innocent guys. Of course. I'm sure a lot of, I'm sure they all did it, but... But then you have, uh, you know... Well, everyone's sure OJ did it. He obviously didn't. Or, you know, she had, you know, it was okay. He stole that sports memorabilia though, and that was his biggest crime.

You remember that one, right? In Vegas? Yeah, and that was shit that wasia though, and that was his biggest crime remember that one right in Vegas Yeah, and that was shit that was so of his that was sold Yeah, when he was in prison or when he was in whatever he wanted it back cuz it was worth money I wouldn't have done that but you know whatever it was a bad move Maybe thought he'd out you know do his old football moves get away with I always wanted to do a video You want to make a YouTube video? I know you don't. Of what? I'll talk about it so you can get the dope of me. You lived in California though. I've never

actually been there. There was a chain of chicken restaurants, fried chicken restaurants for which OJ Simpson was the spokesperson. I forget the name. Was it churches? Was it Popeyes? No, it was like, look it up. It was like, it was a popular California chain, but now they're down to about two locations. And I always wanted to make a video where I just go, you looked up OJ Chicken, and it's all just bringing you orange chicken results. That's pretty funny.

OJ, Simpson. Yeah, OJ, oranges. spokesman. Pioneer chicken. Pioneer chicken. There's like two locations left, and I always wanted to make a video that was let's eat OJ Simpson's chicken and we go

and then I'm like. Yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah, and I'm like, oh man. See, this is a food channel. You gotta do food channel. Oh man, I got so many comments for you. Do you wanna go to the OJ Simpson's chicken restaurant and go, all right, well before we eat this chicken,

I don't wanna get my hands greasy so I gotta put on my gloves. And then I start, I can't get my chicken gloves and then we get a blonde lady to come and go Nicole can you cut this chicken for me? Where are we gonna get a lady? I know but we just have to come up with some stupid OJ related things hold on I want to watch OJ's commercial. Here's, I wanna watch OJ's commercial. Here's how you know that OJ didn't do it, is like, look at this guy.

He had every- You're watching YouTube videos on the show now? You sure enjoy that golden pioneer chicken. Oh yeah, I love it. As much as I love Pioneer's new country spicy chicken. The golden pioneer chicken has a crispy, crunchy taste. Sure, but country spicy's a whole new way to love chicken. I wanna try country spicy.

At least you both agree on Pioneer's new buttermilk biscuits who wouldn't debate fresh? You watch this and you go well he must have been innocent I I think people like this stuff people like look they got a whole bunch of these pioneer do like anyway if you want to look you just said people like food content and I play an OJ Simpson shit fried chicken they want you to they don't want to watch YouTube videos with you look I will make food videos But I need someone to make them with me. Innocent black people Are eight times more likely than white people to be falsely convicted of rape Fascinating. Man, could you imagine that? You're a black guy falsely confused with rape?

Oh man, I'm just going to jail. Yeah, there's nothing I can do here. Oh boy The black guy though goes listen guys Here's what I mean a prisoner serving time for sexual assault is more than three times likely to be innocent if he's black He's white well, then what's the actual num like what's the total number? I think there's a black guy accused of rape and he said He showed the court how small his penis is and they said no Black men would admit to having a small penis clearly this man cannot be a rapist. The court I think the jury felt bad for him they're like, oh my god, I don't know why he's small for a black guy

Oh, even if he did rape, you know what? He deserves a little something. The guy, the brother was like, oh man As-salamu alaikum. They got an old black jury to go, oh that just ain't right, boy. Whatever you did, it ain't as bad as what God did to you. And all the black guys in the jury are like, my dick's way bigger than this. Y'all, I just wanna make a statement.

All the guys, we wanna make a statement. I'd like to make a statement for the court. The former of the jury would like to say, we all have much larger dicks than the defense. And the women in the jury say that their husbands dicks are even bigger than the men here. Which I don't think is right, your honor, but women don't know nothing about it. And that guy's just going, why did my lawyer convince me to tell them all I have a tiny penis is the worst?

Here's an interesting stat, 44% of the 95 conviction integrity units in the US have recorded exonerations I don't even know what that means I think that means half of these Courts are not even recording people getting off. Is that parole? You should have done you gotta talk about parole. I've seen when people get out Of prison for like 20 years they get like oh you got like 8 million bucks. Yeah, that's pretty great No, it needs to be like billion. I know they own them there should not be a living so just spend whatever you want, man I mean do whatever you want. It should be like infinite money. You should get like an infinite government's, you know, yeah Pension the only you can't do from now on is murder and rape right do pretty much anything you want pirate MLB games

Shoplift wherever. You got a credit card. You got an infinite credit with Uncle Sam. Can you imagine? It's unreasonable. The problem is though, you know, sometimes you let these people, you saw that guy who went on Joe Rogan. He was like a prison reform advocate and then he cut a lady's, cut a lady's head off or whatever and you're like. Guilty. Well, some of them did do it. Some of them are bad guys. I think's the bit the part of the problem but not OJ not a good dad take the rap dad take the rap for his son yeah you get a good sense of humor about the whole thing cuz he didn't do it cuz he didn't do it

even even try to imagine you didn't your ex-wife got killed and you didn't do it how happy you would be oh man my ex-wife got brutally stabbed Fucking some gigolo and then I tried to write a and I didn't do it Fucking you know what I will yeah, I'll go to trial sure it was out on the golf course looking for the murderer You know looking at every hole no way he did it. No way. No way. I'll be damned if I'll let a Man with his murdering. I mean I was thinking about how interesting it is that like We're all very morally outraged by certain crimes, but then like X lives now certain points. Yeah, well, that's okay Oh, yeah, you can kill a lady. Don't marry him then yeah, don't it's not really on

We didn't make a system to protect you from being that dark. It's pretty fucking crazy We didn't make a system to protect you from being that stupid. It's pretty fucking crazy. The best set of Pogs I ever had were the OJ trial Pogs. I remember the slammer. I remember seeing the slammer at a, again, a thrift market or whatever. I went, Dad, I want the OJ slammer. It was, on one side it said OJ innocent. And it was OJ going like, hey! On the other side it was OJ guilty. It was OJ behind bars. And it was an embossed coin.

I still want to get that. No, no buying. You're done buying this week. You seen him in Naked Gun? Yes. No, you can tell when an actor- It's too goofy and fun. It's too silly and fun.

Well, you just watched the Popeye? The principal from- Do I gotta play the chick commercial again? No, no more commercials. The principal from Ferris Bueller, you could tell he was a pedophile. Because he was a bad guy. He was a bad- the way he was looking at Ferris Bueller, could tell he was a pedophile because he was a bad guy bad The way he was looking at Ferris Bueller. Are you gonna rape him? What about the dad from seventh heaven did you see that one coming total rapist

Oh, yeah, I mean, but you saw it from a mile away. I did. Yeah, I told you I told you I have that ability Yes to seek out pedophiles not to seek them out No, just to spot. If they've been convicted I can tell you if they... That's gotta be the word. Well, actually though, it's on brand though, right? Because wasn't he a pastor? It's kind of like he was playing too hard into the role. He's guilty conscience. What would make you become a pastor? What would make you become a TV pastor? And I got to tell you guys about how much I'm talking to God. Alright, that seems a bit odd.

I saw they did a seventh heaven reunion. I'm like, how do you do a reunion of a show where the dead convicted pedophile? Like he obviously wasn't there. It's like Beetlejuice 2. How do they do that? Yeah. Apparently they have to do some thing. They're doing like some stop motion animation to explain that the pedophile get eaten by a shark in Beetlejuice 2. I hate it. I think at that point just don't. What do you think is going to be worse worse Joker 2 or Beetlejuice 2?

I think Joker 2 might be good I might kill you. I like music. Yeah, but Lady Gaga. You can't I can't say what is that? I'm principle. What is the problem with Lady Gaga fat? She's fat. She's not that fat Lady Gaga is just you in female form. She's a theater kid. I hate myself. Who realized that if you could... Here's the problem with you is that the successful theater kids are ones who learn to commit to the bit 100%. Oh yeah? Is that true? Yeah, look at... What's Dylan Mulvaney or whatever? He's like, ah look, I'm a girl all the time! Woo! I love Dylan Mulvaney though. Alright, well now you're committing to a bit. That's not a bit. I love it

I wish I could get up every day and make hundreds of thousand dollars to say I fucking hate women I'm just like you Look, I'm retarded But that was Lady Gaga that's a lot of these like music people is they're just like it's a character If you do people love character, I don't want to see Lady Gaga in a Joker movie. It was fine the way it was. It wasn't really a Joker movie to begin with.

It's not really Joker. It's just it was called Joker. It's just a guy who's crazy and kills people. It's any movie. No, it was about Batman's nemesis. Batman's not even in it. Joker. He is in it.

There's no Batman. Before he becomes becomes Batman when his parents are still alive. You're assuming he becomes Batman We don't know that he's gonna become Batman in this universe. I don't want to see him become Batman. I Hate Harley Quinn so much. I don't hate Harley Quinn. It's such a I hate what Harley Quinn character No, it's not hate what Harley Quinn character. It's not that bad. It's fun No, it's not. I like Harley Quinn You haven't watched it's just like chicks getting it's it's like your your your friend gets a girlfriend Then there's all these chicks all over fucking gabbing about every and then poison I and now it's next thing You know Harvey, it's Harley Quinn and poison ivy, and they're having a lesbian relationship, and there's no Batman at all Okay, well they did screw that up for the curtain which you have not watched. I watched it

Did you watch the first season? I watched everything that they had on max. It's good It's bad when Harley and Poison Ivy become lesbians. I think that it goes off the rails there. Yeah, cuz then it just kind of becomes It's like at first it didn't feel like oh it's like a woman power or whatever show like it was kind of mocking those I guess it kind of still is I don't know It's one of those shows that isn't mixed identity like when Bojack Horseman started doing all that Todd's a women ruin that too Todd's an asexual arc and I like so what are you doing? Stop this? Yeah, it's about BoJack. Don't try to chisel him out. This is a show about men.

Yeah. Don't stop trying to force women stuff in. Oh, the Princess Caroline shit was terrible. Oh my God. Princess Caroline's abusive relationship with her subordinate, who's like a perfect man. What about her relationship with her mom and whether she achieved what she wanted to

as a professional career woman? I don't know, I guess they had to go in some direction. All the Bojack stuff was good. Dick, is my turn? Are you going to see Joker 2? Yeah. I'll see Joker 2. You're the first Joker I was just making jokes about theaters getting shot up. Now you want to. This time I'm. Stop, stop. Don't say it on YouTube. Save that for a different time. Now I hope the theaters are filled with the sound of joy from all the music. Are there any filled with the rat tatat of people tapping their toes to the music? Yeah. I hope it explodes at the box office. Don't be gun shy. Go check out Joker 2! Don't! You'll blow your head off at all the entertaining dancing!

This is why we don't do this is because then if something happens it goes, comedians three months prior to the premiere of Joker Every time there's a manifesto, I go control life take show, take master sin, men and women and then I go, ah fuck you You do kind of hope, you do kind of hope

I want to think PewDiePie when the Christ Church mad at us and grabbed him and he went, that's kind of cool the guy said my name. He probably was horrified. He's probably like, oh God. Probably, because he's all. This is real bad. He's all happy.

Still, it's like, yeah, I'm a part of history. Like a mass murderer did a thing and I'm a meme being, you know what I mean? That's what we, that's how's you do the time machine go back to baby Hitler and go like Oh, it's a stupid name. Call it Super killers lunch box We don't know why Hitler called it that why does super killer carry a lunchbox will never know well actually you will find out in issue two Wrongful convictions if you know if you think OJ either didn't do it or you're glad he did it and got away with it voted up

Wrongful conviction absolutely Stephen Avery prison because he's white. Dick, the Arizona Supreme Court, one of our favorite Supreme Courts. Well, they ruled Tuesday that this state must adhere to a law made before statehood, before they even became a state back when they were a territory.

This is a law that bans all abortions, except those necessary to save a pregnant person's life. Oh, yeah. You must be real happy about this. The law, which is enforceable because Roe vs. Wade was overturned, is broader than the state's 2022 ban on abortions after 15 weeks of pregnancy and carries a prison sentence of two to five years for abortion providers. Right now, Republican lawmakers, including Donald Trump, are scrambling as they realize they've lost the female vote forever. Thanks a lot, guys.

Thanks for locking it up for Biden there. It's like, enjoy your babies. Enjoy those babies. Those babies. I hope those babies come to life and choke you in your sleep, Arizona. You nailed it. Biden's just gonna breeze in on this one.

I hope you're just driving through traffic on babies, like an avalanche of babies, like the snow drift all over the place. You fucking morons. Well, this may be a problem for you and people who vote like- It's like trans shit. Abortion is like trans shit. Abortion is for us what trans shit is for you. It is.

Except for abortion is probably much more- Everybody's affected by abortion, only trans, you know. No. They're the same. They same maybe what percentage of people do you think are doing trans shit and abortion probably about the same I think the trans population is only like half a percent how many is it affect and they like a million a year two million a year I don't know well I know is that there's a lot of people out there and these people are a problem this is a problem

women yeah voting is a big problem for what you're describing. No, no, no. The problem is baby lovers, Dick. These sick, weird, kind of pedophilic weirdos are all about saving all these fucking babies for some reason, because they're so obsessed with fucking babies, okay? When we, the human race, have defied God's law,

we've found a way to deny the natural, horrific cycle of childbirth and just cut it off right at the tip. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to the human race, is that we said, hey, we can- This is what they hate, by the way. I don't care, because it's true. OK? I know.

Is that we said, you know what the worst thing about... They fall for it every time. You know what the worst thing is about being human? It's like you just kind of want to hang out. You want to like fuck your girl or whatever. But then like babies show up, and it's a huge pain in the ass. You just say that because you're not fucking one Well when I was fucking one I was always best thing about life When I was in a committed relationship

I was deadly afraid of accidentally impregnating the woman and I'm gonna raise a child and whatever else and We figured it out. We have a kid learn how to draw it and easy early age into your comic. Yeah, well, I could have done that. That would have been smart. I'm just saying that I'm seeing right now the abortion debate is going full bore. A lot of conservatives are going, well, you can't kill a baby. It's the worst thing in the world. And I go, well, why is it so bad? Really?

What's so bad about it? Especially- It's murder. That? What's so bad about it? Especially- It's murder, that's what's so bad about it. What do you mean what's so bad about it? You know what they think is- why are you pretending you don't know what their argument is? I get their- but their argument is bad though, because it assumes that killing a baby is bad. Which you also just can't prove to me.

So edgy, Vito. I'm not being edgy. Oh wow. Okay. But you were being edgy. Oh, wow. OK. But you were like locked down for COVID, right? Because life is so precious. If you kill someone else's baby. COVID, locked down, yes or no?

No, I didn't want locked down. What did you want? I wanted the mask shit to go away. I wanted to just be able to do whatever I want. You wanted people to die, OK. Well, I wanted boomers to die. I mean, honestly, I was hoping the spread would pick up but I was worried for myself So I did stay inside. Okay, I was a corpulent individual. Okay. Look

Okay on a certain level I get it. We've constructed this like moral fantasy that life is precious Right. Oh my god a human life. Can you believe it? There haven't been like trillions of those already. And he can't just- Why do you want UBI then? Cause I think that like the people who are here and we're stuck here, you know, like we're stuck on this planet. Your position makes no sense.

How can you be arguing about feeding poor people but you don't care about fetuses? Because suffering is bad. And suffering can only happen. How about you get your head chopped off? Well, that's why I'm pro-suicide. If you are suffering and you want to kill yourself, go nuts.

But in the meantime, you should be able to seek comfort, and we should all be helping each other achieve comfort. We should put a string, and if the fetus yanks on the string, isn't it... Sure. ...then it's okay? Fine. Alright.

Okay, it's just, look, it would be... You can just make more babies if you want. It's not like you can't just make it. It's not like there's a finite number of babies, you know? It annoys me that what you're doing is gonna piss, piss like radicalizes people. That's fine. You know, I love it. You love it.

You guys just say this retarded shit, this like, edgelord, like nihilistic edgelord shit. Well, it is kind of nihilistic. I mean, I think you have to be kind of nihilistic when you look at like the reality of what, look, if you believe in God and a purpose for everything, then yes, I get it, every life is precious, okay? Except for the black non-Americans

that are starving to death. You're not doing anything about those. They don't like them. No. Well, that's part of what I wanted to bring in was, first of all, everybody's always like, oh my God, America, so many abortions in America. Guys, we're not even in the top hundred for abortions.

Frankly, I'm kind of disappointed. Oh God. I'm a little disappointed that there are only 900,000 abortions a year in the US. I feel like I'm on the old show right now. We are ranked number 108, which is a lucky number. What? Who's number one? India? China? Well, gotta be China. I'll tell you who's number one. Do you want number one in terms of per capita or per number of people? Come on, what do I look like? Did I have breakfast this morning or what?

Look, I got some great stats here, okay? In terms of per capita, the country that a woman is most likely to have an abortion, it's actually Vietnam. That makes sense. Does it? Well, I mean, it's an Asian. I mean, it's a poor Asian country.

It makes sense. And there's a lot of sex tourism, I was going to say. Well, there's probably also a lot of reporting. Like China, I don't think they're keeping tabs on this stuff. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't trust your stats really. For every 1,000 women, this is actually very high. For every 1,000 women, 64 of them will have an abortion.

That's pretty crazy. I will say, you know what's interesting? I said America is like rank low, but Cuba, technically America, number four for per capita abortions. You know, you want to hear something funny? I want anything but what you're reading right now. This is interesting. This is good information.

Now, in terms of total abortions, you guessed China would be the most? Yeah, but I don't think they reported, so I would guess India. India is correct. India is reported as the most abortions with 16 million a year. Gotta get those numbers up, guys. America's making numbers. Get the numbers up until you stop, until there's no more shitting in the street.

And that's when you stop until there's no more shitting in the street. 900,000 from America. India, 16 million. And I mean, okay, let's think about it rationally. Everybody's saying every child's life is important, sure. But like, do you ever go like, man, I wish there was 16 million more Indian people every single year. It's the edgelord shit. It's not edgelord, okay?

It's like, though they already got like a lot. There's a lot of people already. Okay, no one's saying like, oh, Maybe Null was right. Shut up, China, nine million abortions a year. Do you look at China and you go, you know the worst thing about China is there's not enough fucking Chinese people?

Like, come on. So what are we talking? Are you gonna do this for every country that you're racist again to Mexico let's hear Mexico's the same let's hear the same joke one million Mexicans here do you want an extra one million Mexicans because we can get them for you yeah you're bringing them in I know to vote well you say you don't want them and then you're telling me you want them what do you want look this is not edgelord shit. This is real. It's very edgelord.

We have a lot of- we have a lot of people. We're not desperate for more of them. The idea that they're gonna, what, live like- Is that what you- is that what you think it is? Population size? It's just- what is it? They think it's life. And they also hate women.

But why is life so important to them? I don't get it. Like, look, again- It's a unique- This is just a- no, it's a unique collision of religion. Women making mistakes and women doing- women making stupid decisions has basically destroyed the whole world in Western civilization and it hits this one inflection point where they can point to it and say this you fucked this up And we will not let you we will not keep letting you fuck this up And then we're gonna turn the tide like in the Patriot when Mel Gibson's running with the flag

Yeah, we're gonna unfuck up all your other fuck-ups But they're not gonna do it like once a baby is Formed and has like a nervous system and can recognize pain, I understand it. Because then you're creating suffering. We shouldn't create suffering. Why? Well, just on a basic level of do onto others.

As in, I don't want someone to cut me into pieces on an operating table. So I'm going to cut them into pieces first. I'm going to cut them into pieces before they even have all their pieces yet. OK, so you have a you have a morality but it's defined as instead of life and death it's suffering? It's defined as the people who make it into existence short treat them very well but the ones who- Why? Because just why not? What is-

Well I don't want to like cut people's fucking heads off and shit. You see this weird this weird like What is what is the word? What is that word with this? It's like a CD. It's do the least amount of harm possible No, it's cognitive dissonance. I don't think it is cognitive dissonance. You want to be pro-abortion But you all of your politics is pro-giving, deadbeats money. And you're trying to rectify these with this arbitrary, well suffering is bad, so we gotta alleviate suffering, but we also have to be pro-death. Yes. Don't you see how strange that is?

No, I don't think it is strange. It's very strange. It's not strange because, again, we're getting to it. Okay I think that I'm not gonna say it. I think that pro-death it should be pro-death across the board. I think let's put it this way again like saying I'm pro-suicide okay how is that square is that not squared away with the rest of my beliefs? No pro- suicide that's fine you can anyone can check it. I mean what? Pro-death. But you're saying that would be for you saying for saying for me though, it's a big contradiction.

Because I want to provide for people who want to be provided for, but those who want to die, I want them to also be able to die if they want. Well, the fetus is not choosing to die. I got bad news for you. Yeah, well, we're getting to the point before we can even make decisions. Look, it's not losing out on anything. It was gonna die anyway, okay? So we're all the poor people. Right! They've- they're basically suiciding themselves by not showing up to job interviews. How is it different than suicide? I'm saying as long as they can be-

They can be a little nudge. Well, if we wanna push poor people in a direction that says, hey, if you're not having a good time, you wanna whatever, I don't know. No, I just don't wanna give them any of my money. I don't want you to give them my money. We don't have to give them money. We can just do do the problem. I mean look we should be able to jail I think we are at a point in society where we can figure out how to give people housing and food

Which is who are not we are we just not we're not we are None of you fuckers can do that. That's the problem. There's a lot of barriers in the way, but we have a lot of- Your guys' figuring things out is the barrier. You guys cannot figure out how to build poor people houses without stealing all the money. And the poor people cannot figure out to live in the free houses without doing fentanyl all day Well, then they can do fentanyl all day I got no problem with that as long as they don't steal the copper piping out of there

They will I know they will and then they'll just start raping each other Well, if we give them you and they'll start smoking each other if we give me bi Hopefully they won't rip the copper pipes out of the wall. They will Because then everything will cost exactly what you'll be I is. Well, we got it. That's I just think it's I think it's I think You do have a bit of of cognitive dissonance there Look, I also think I think society problem. We got to get away from this idea that childbirth is a miracle It's clearly not it's like the absolute In your family. Yeah, I got like a niece or whatever. You need to think about that.

Yeah, I mean, it's great for them. They're happy, you know? Like, their family is happy. OK. Cool. OK. But if they said, hey, we got an abortion, I'd also go, yeah, all right.

Well, OK. That's fine. So life in general is not good because you'd be supportive either way? Life is whatever you want to do. If you want whatever is going to make you happy. Right, right, right. But ultimately, if what's going to make you happy is getting that kid out of there,

eating that, eating that fetus, like that's your choice. It's your, you made the fucking thing. You can make more of them if people are so fucking upset about them. I thought you were going to do a baby lovers problem. Well that is the problem. If you start getting into how much you like to kill babies. I'm like, oh god, all right. I just don't feel that bad about an aborted baby.

What did they miss out on? 80 years of dicking around? But then you feel bad about all the other shit. Just because I don't want people to suffer pain. If anything, getting yeeted early is great. You don't got to deal with any other shit. You don't know what the horrors you're missing out on and the fucking insufferable stupidity you gotta deal with. And let's be real, okay?

Everybody always goes like, oh, a human life is the most valuable thing ever. And then you read about how many animals we just murder for food every year. And it's like- They're animals. See, that's what I don't get why why do we not feel anything for animals cuz they are less sophisticated than us so if I kill your dog who cares no if you smudge my couch I want to kill you my things are infinitely more important

than other people's dogs your thing yes it's my property? Yes, it's my property. Right. My dog. That's the only reason you have any emotional attachment to it. It's a living thing with a personality. Yeah, exactly. Dog of animals in general. And I don't want it to suffer. I don't want a living thing to suffer. What the fuck is a fetus then?

I'm saying if you can get it look if you can quietly get it look quietly Quietly and efficiently just end it okay, okay? Okay, we kill you for that going March the homeless to a Some sort of a is them for me concentrated Center 130 million pigs are slaughtered in the u.s. Every year 130 You have a pig sad on an abortion problem? Because! Why are we okay with that? Why is that fine? Because they're delicious Maybe children are delicious, I don't fucking know because I don't eat them

Okay, we're definitely delicious to some other animal Okay, the amount of death that takes place on this planet every day is on an unfathomable scale. No, it's fathomable. It's not finite. It's finite. It's numbered. Okay, sure. When you look at like a factory farm where we just load living creatures into pens and

slaughter them for meat, and you go, yeah, that's cool. That's fine. And you go, okay, I don't want to raise this kid. You are the last fucking person who should be lecturing anybody about factory farming. I agree. Are you vegan? I'm part of the sickness. I wish I was vegan.

Part? Yeah, I wish that there were- You're head of the class. I'm head of the class. Meat's very tasty and it makes me upset how much I like it. I wish I didn't. Okay? What?

Then you would stop? Why is a human life so much more valuable than an animal's life? Why? Because... Put it into terms of points. Out of a hundred points, a human... Familiarity is important to us. A human being's life, let's assume, is the highest possible amount of useful points.

A hundred points. You should never kill a human. How many points is a dog? Just a random dog? Yeah, just a random dog on the street. Like, how many people? The trolley problem? What fraction of a person is it?

How many dogs can I kill to make it worse than killing one human? You mean legally or just like in your mind? In your mind. Like let's say you had the trolley problem, you had a dog. How many dogs for one person? Yeah. You had a dog. How many dogs for one person? Yeah. Oh man. House dogs? Are they somebody's pets? Are they gonna go home to the owners? Let's say that they don't have any attachment to humans that they have in a pack. Random dog? Wild

dogs but they're all. Oh, infinity then. Infinity wild dogs. Yeah. Okay. No, cuz the person has human relationships. So an animal only acquires usefulness in relation to what it provides the humans. Yes, what are you, tarted? What are you talking about? I don't know, I just. So what I do. How do you not know this?

Does that also go for aliens? Like an alien shows up and it's perfectly sentient. They're gonna kill us. If aliens show up, I'm shooting first. They're coming to kill us. They have families. Or at least take our money. Maybe they're not. I'm sure they have bums in fucking Zepton. Yeah. And they ran out of money. They overprinted it So they're looking for ours. They come down. They propose compound interest

You know, they have all sorts of crazy ideas about forming their own state and we somehow integrate them into society. You talking about Israel? I... that was the bit. Anyway, I just... I think that when you live in a society where it's just like, listen, we kill fucking animals all the fucking time. They're living creatures. They have families. They think in real. Are you doing a fucking bit?

They don't have families. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. They're aware of like, this is my pack or whatever. That's not a family. You ever see like a video of like a mother cat? They change packs, they don't start crying and making movies about it. They take, well, okay, they might not have like complete cognitive awareness of whatever,

but like- They don't have families. They grieve for their dead and whatever else. Kind of. No, not kind of, like that genuinely happens. They get sad Yeah, dude you ever see like a like a video like a mother dog loses her puppies or whatever You know is that the same to you? Do you think they experience an emotion? I think animals experience. Yeah all sorts of

At the same level of ours what do you probably on a deeper level because oh god probably cuz it's not connected to like insane fucking hierarchies of thought that we've organized in our head where it's like, oh well if my dad died it was for this reason related to this fucking thing it's just like, this thing that I love is gone. I'm saying just let me kill, not even kill, it's a quiet retirement for these fetuses. Why did you bring in a stat on killing pigs for an abortion problem? Because I think that the the morality argument that people make that a human life is so The not even like a human life that already exists the potential for a human life. It's like such a beautiful miracle Oh my god, he might grow up to be the president

Yeah, or he might grow up to just be another shitty homeless guy smoking fentanyl stealing copper wires out of the fucking wall You don't know and the odds are Definitely in the odds that it's gonna be that most it's gonna be a fentanyl addicted homeless person No, that is not the odds They're not just they're gonna be exactly like you. Yeah, well they might just be normal. Same income bracket, same everything. Okay, so if they're just like me, you really want more of me walking around? Who cares? Yes, it gives people the sense that they're living forever.

Yes, they love it. So it's all an illusion. Very important to them. Who cares? What people do! We found a cheat code, okay, and the cheat code is that this biological nightmare we've been shackled to that was not crafted by a divine entity. You don't have kids!

Why do you care? I care because I just want people, especially women, who get pregnant. To fuck you. No! You're doing this to appeal to women. I get it now. I get it. Everything goes back to that. I think if you have a child growing inside you, you have the right to say, I'm not going to be able to take care of this child and I don't want to do this is he deserved to say no yeah sure he should be able to get it out of there, too

It should be an internet. He's here. Just deserve to say no. No you don't Growing inside his fucking body, but it's his thing if we can get a womb properly And the men can carry the babies to term then we can do that we can transfer it over to him And he can run and as soon as he comes Out I got to give him money. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I guess so yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying look It's not and I thought I hated the pro-life people until this conversation now. I remember who the real enemy is It's not a miracle guys. You can make as money as you want. Go make one right now It's a one in 64 and then a gay guy pays a lady to make one, everybody freaks out about it.

I don't even get it. Do you like them or not? Do you like what or not? A gay guy gets like a surrogate and they make a baby and everyone's like, oh this is the worst thing that ever happened. It's like, what do you matter? What do you care how it's made? What do you care who's making it? Cause it's getting taken away from it's mom. Why does that matter? Cause it's supposed to have a mom.

Why is it supposed to have a mom why is it supposed to have a mom because it came out of the pussy. That's why Cuz Jerry to not it sucks to not have a mom yeah a lot of things suck It's not the only thing that sucks cuz they're doing it just for like Personal satisfaction no, and it's not the personal. What do you mean? No? What do you mean just for personal satisfaction? What does that mean? Well? Why are they why I have a kid personal satisfaction a kid they want to yeah But they don't have a fucking way to raise a child So they're renting one but so does no man man ever want a child only women want children You can't gin one up like if I can't put pipes

Over this big in my house because it's a waste of water or whatever or I can't have or Having the wrong cryptocurrency is a fucking illegal Security you cannot rent wombs that is so far below renting a womb What is this prostitute you're paying a thousand dollars? If I can't get a handjob You can't rent a fucking womb bro. We gave Ruben should be they should all that stuff should be legal Okay, but it's not so then the womb renting is an illegal to have as many abortions as you want whatever you want

Well, it's gonna be don't worry about it. If you have a kid It's gonna be hard to signal two years into it you find out the kids retarded. Maybe we let you you know Kill it you saying? You couldn't do it though. I couldn't do what pull the plug the kid I killed a two-year-old kid I would make it a I would make it like a respectable ceremony YouTube video it'd be like I'd be like like soylent green you know you put them in a room and you play some music Yeah, I just flood the gas

How did you think this would go I don don't care anymore, I don't care! I'm so tired! You should care! Why? I don't feel anything! Okay? We kill all the time! And all the- it's always like all this talk about

Oh my god, a human life is like so important And you're like, ah cool, well like, should we like give this guy enough like a place to live and some food? No! He should die! What about this prisoner? We should cut his head off! So then it's the hypocrisy It's not like this like yeah, fuck human life. Look at all these pigs we kill. I

Think it's just I accept that Sure, I guess it is the hypocrisy. Look I'll say this in an ideal world with infinite resources Yes, every child should be taken to term Infinite resources. Yes, every child should be taking a term, placed in a perfect robot household or whatever else, or given to an adoptive couple. Yeah. But we don't have infinite resources.

And ultimately, this, I think- Then why are you giving them to fucking bums? Why are you trying to give her limited resources? Who do you wanna give them to? Keep them, everybody keep them. Everybody keep them. Let the keep the bum star fuck. Okay, but what if it? What about a young mother doesn't have a lot of money and she goes if I have this kid it's gonna cost a lot of money I don't have time to take care of it. I'd rather just shoot the woman. Yeah Sure, that's our new abortion strategy. Let's just kill them with the

Give a problem with that Yes, why I don't want to kill people Just non people look a fetus is a non person. That's it. Really? There's nothing there All right, I can't I Can't with this problem anymore. My problem is at least I'm admitting to it, right? But you know, I don't think so most Most liberals will not say, oh I want to kill babies. Every single liberal will. And you're not really admitting it. You're making a joke. I'm not making a joke. I think it's fine to kill a baby as long as it hasn't popped out yet.

Yeah, I mean it's like all the same clump of cell shit. Like you guys been saying this for you know, 40 years or whatever. Sure. You done? I think I more understand that it has the potential to be human life. I get it. I understand why it upsets people. But ultimately, yeah, there is a bunch of hypocrisy. We don't value human life. We don't value animal life. It's just like everybody keeps flip-flopping on like, oh my God, life.

Life is such an incredible, you know, perfect thing. I hope that guy smoking fentanyl fucking dies. And it's like, well, I don't get it. What do you care about them? Which life is valuable? Why is it neither of them? Why is a baby's life have more value than a gross homeless fentanyl addict? Because he might not be a gross homeless fentanyl addict. The same reason women are hotter with their clothes on. Because you don't know what's under there. It's the mystery. As soon as they take them so babies are the ice 80 babies are the eyes some of yes, I guess it's all about what? We might have yeah, it's very important to realize that

Killed all these cancer cures no he did who knows that that kid might do same as I some anything could happen And that's why it's good now. You're getting it. Yeah exactly okay, and for the same reason I don't like I some storytelling where I'm like, well, I don't know what's gonna happen So I'd rather just not read it. You're all over the place on this one. I don't think I am I think I'm very intellectually consistent here I Just don't I don't ascribe a lot of value to your own life the unknown but could be But pogs what if that kid throw what if you imagine a blank set of pogs? Could be anything on the hogging on the part. I said I'm gonna burn this set of

Pogs before that we print on it. Don't you want to see what was printed on it? I'm just thinking about okay think about how many babies are born that it doesn't benefit you in any way. Can you just keep it in pogs so it's like a comedy show? I don't wanna do a comedy show. Yeah, exactly. You want to lecture everyone on it? It's not a lecture. I'm just telling you who cares. It doesn't matter. That's literally a lecture. Hahahaha!

Just give up. Alright, my problem is realizing that something wasn't charging. That's literally a lecture Just give up all right Realizing that something wasn't charging. How's that? There you go? That's the show everyone. I Let's do voicemail I was charging the whole time and it was happening all the time And I find out that somebody unplugged it or it was a little bit on my USB problem I keep running this thing where all the USB cords stop working, or they'll work one day,

and then I don't know if it's a charger, or if it's the cord. It's a nightmare. When you come back, I gotta go. Oh, no! Life has no meaning! And then you figure it out, and then you find out your little baby ripped it out of the wall, and you go, I should have aborted that kid

Wouldn't have ran in this situation. Why don't you just go pro-death? What's wrong with that? Because I'm not pro-death I think that the people who are on this planet have every right to seek happiness and comfort. Huh? Unless you're a baby in which case You're out of there You think that's kind of odd? No, I don't think it- look! Homeless crack addict? Can I just go shoot him?

Here's the deal, when it comes to- Can I shoot him or not? Homeless crack addict? Yeah, yes. Okay, so you're not pro-life. When it comes down to it, there is no possible way to have a logical, consistent moral code because- I mean, there is. Okay, well the only logical, consistent moral code is true apathy right where just goes none of this matters do

whatever you want no you could be pro everybody too why there's no reason to be pro everybody and nobody is pro everybody maybe you feel good about it pro everybody Christians some of them every once in a while they all murder animals all the time animals are not the same as humans. Yes they are! No they're not! Why not? Because they're not as sophisticated as us! What is so sophisticated about this? We're basically just fucking retarded as well. We're just retarded in a different way. I was gonna say we don't eat our own shit, but then that mayor just... Gay mayor just got fired. Gay mayor just ate his own shit.

We can't even decide. You know humans are not animals. Are you fucking animals? No, I'm not fucking animals. Why? Because I don't want a fucking animal. Oh, because you don't want to. So if some guy came up to you and said, hey Vito, what's up? I'm a big fan of super killer. I fuck animals. Okay. You wouldn't think anything weird of that because they're just people? I would think weird of it, but- Why? Then I would get- well, because they're not on the same plane. Of what? People I would think weird of it, but why then I would get well because they're not on the same plane of what Intelligent okay, but they are different different planes of intelligence, but neither one is more or lesser than the other Are you retarded world we live in is just different from the world animal lives in whatever there They're happy their intelligence is based on...

Bro, they get killed all the time. I can't catch a wombat or... What if a shark was just picking off people all day, every day? That's the world animals live in. Sounds like a good movie. What the fuck are you talking about? That's the world animals live in, sure. But why does that make it okay?

So you're saying it's okay because they kill each other anyway? We used to kill each other all the time. Why'd we stop? We didn't. We didn't, not really. Okay, let's do some voicemails and then we'll read that. Can you stop crunching that up? It's getting distracting.

I can hear it now. Oh, and I had some notes I have to... What? I can save it for after Superchats what is it so somebody has a go fund me that we should highlight a spot listener of the show do you want to say that for now or later we're plugging go fund me's I was begged to just mention it why the what is it a guy got hit by a car check check out GoFundMe, search for a serious car accident at the worst time,

or go to GoFundMe.com slash F. Just a listener of your show, listener of our show. So he's a listener of my show and sent it to me and I ignored it and he sent it to you. This will get on the show if I send it to Vito. I'm just letting people know that if, this is the way healthcare works now, you get in an accident, you know, you have aflac Don't I don't know what he had look check out the go fund me at gofundme.com slash F

So, you know, it's a search for serious car accident at the worst time. I'll put it. I'll put a link in the description How's that? What did we do? Is this a charity? Don't send don't do not send us your your fucking sob stories and go fund me I guess mentioning it It takes two seconds to go find me. What is it look here? Search for it. I mean it looks like you're Here I'll find it serious, okay, no no no no no no I got it I got it serious car accident at the worst time I saw a lot of people who donated were listeners of the show clearly This is somebody in our community who people I tried to get more of the story, but I people you know

I saw the people donating to him or this guy made a ton on crypto Did he yeah, he was bragging to me in DMS that he's not being dead serious He was bragging about me in DMs that he- I'm not being dead serious. He was bragging to me about- He was bragging to DMs about how much he made on crypto? Yeah, he made on crypto. Well, he probably lost it all and now- Nine grand? He wants nine grand for a fact-surgery? He put it up on the screen. Is it up on the screen?

What the fuck is this shit? Look, I don't know if it's a grift. You guys can read the details and find out. I just fell on makeup. Look at this. You can buy one of these head things on Amazon This is not real. This is a PlayStation 4 that he's got stapled to the wall. Look I have a big heart I care about people not babies, but people and You know people in the community said hey, you know reach out. I know this guy. I met him. Oh cuz you know him He's total scam artist. I met him at a scam artist convention

Alright, well I was speaking at scam artists I don't know him but the point is I think we care I care about this community that we've built and If people want to throw him a couple bucks who cares he was he got t-boned in a car He was drunk driving. He was aiming for people whose trunk spun out Yeah, and he had he had a he had a 12 year old girl in the car with him and people still don't know why. Don't say stuff to me. What? Why are you allowed to?

Because my stuff's like funny and cheeky. Your stuff's like. I didn't say what he was going to do with her. I just said she was in the car. So where's her go? You call people things all the time. Why am I? Yeah, but he's a fan of the show.

You're calling him a pedophile. You said he's a scam artist That's just fine I didn't call him a pedophile He's not a pedophile It's not cool to be a pedophile You don't have to read this whole thing to get money do you? No you don't have to read it

Nobody has to read it I'm just there it is Alright He's unable to He can't work he was in a car accident He needs a little money Oh it was his job He's an abortion doctor He's probably to... He can't work, he was in a car accident, he's a little money. Oh, it was his job. He was an abortion doctor. He was probably an abortion doctor.

Okay, look, you can read the thing. I hope God blesses you for reading this, he says. Serious car accident at the worst time. At the worst time. Worst possible time. What's the worst time? No, the worst time to be in a car accident is when you're in a car accident. Breathing every breath is taxing, a sneeze sent me back to the ER. Now that's a lot. The worst time to be in a car accident

is you're getting raped. Sure. Or getting an abortion. Nah, that would be, you know, I'd have to pay the bill. Then they get the baby out quicker if you stop the car short, it just shoots right out. Man, we gotta get into your-

You tie a rope around the baby and then you drive real fast. You got a woman in the back of a car, you tie a rope around the baby's leg, and you just have the car drive forward. Yanks it right out. No, I got it. OK.

Derek. It's a classic Casey Kasem situation. You got to come from a going to an up-tempo record off of Guys in the Hospital. That's a one-time thing. We're not doing any more GoFundMe's for people's cats or anything like that. Well, if something serious happens,

we can use our platform and our voice to raise every. It's not a. OK. I think the biggest problem in the universe is companies going after fan-made free mods. I don't know how much you guys follow the modding community for video games, but there's a Friday the 13th video game that had a mod that was going to come out that was basically just going to revamp the basic game that is no longer listed anymore, no longer active

with a very large audience. And this was going to be a free mod, But we can't have it anymore because the intellectual property owners of Jason for he's in private teams shut it down So basically we're not getting a free additional feature to a product that we've already purchased because I Guess whoever owns the IP for Jason or for Friday the 13th doesn't like the idea of I guess whoever owns the IP for Jason or for Friday the 13th doesn't like the idea of their IP. What the fuck is he saying? He's saying that he wants to commit intellectual property

for that after he doesn't understand why companies would have a problem with that. Guys, stop. What do you want? Just make your own fucking video game. They're not gonna let you just take their Friday the 13th license and go, oh, we wanna put Jason in a hat and all this. No, they're not gonna let you just take their Friday the 13th license and go Oh, we want to put Jason in a hat and all this no, they're not gonna let you do it. Oh, yeah

You don't like that. I just think it's stupid to like expect anything else. What do you mean? It's my the intellectual property is I my attachment to Jason and I can put Jason wherever I want Yeah, cuz you it's basically like the fans own it right? Yeah. Here the solution don't play the Friday the 13th video game. That's it Yeah, I agree with you there, but I gotta make a follow-up video I made a YouTube video one time cuz you know how they always say oh, we made this Pokemon fan game It's like our own Pokemon and Pikachu. You know runs around he pisses on people he has a machine gun cool Yeah, I can't believe Nintendo took down our Pokemon fan game. That's bullshit.

And like three years ago, I said, you guys are retarded. Stop making fan games. Why? I'll tell you why. Because it's a complete fucking waste of your time and everyone else's. Because they'll take it down? They'll take it down. You don't own it.

So why not? Because it's fun. Shut the fuck up. Here was my idea. Okay. Here was my crazy idea. I said, let's say you really like Pokemon. Yeah. Right? And you want to make your own Pokemon game. Just call it something else.

Power World. And design your own monsters. And make your own crazy unique universe. Rip off the monsters. Yeah, absolutely. absolutely rip off as much You came up with power world is what you say everyone came up with power world It's the most simple thing the world everybody likes Pokemon and an entire generation of autistic Morons were like I love Pokemon so much Pokemon is my whole thing

I'm gonna take my love for Pokemon and make Pokemon and you went and make Pokemon and you went are you fucking retarded okay take your love for Pokemon and make a new fucking thing it's fun to make stuff that has characters on it why because you know them already it's like your friends that's lazy and retarded just invent your own Pikachu

and name him jerkachu and make him green I don't want to play with jerkachu it's better because it's yours cuz you made it No, no, no, okay Would you rather be playing Pikachu or would you rather have the billion dollars the power world guys made with a team of like? 15 guys Me yeah, but I rather have a well, I mean the way you phrased it. I rather have a billion dollars Okay, well you can just do that. No, it's more fun to have like a Pikachu mystery thing.

Oh, all right, it's Pikachu, that's cool. You know that Undertale game you ever play, you see that game kids are obsessed with? Yeah, I've seen that one. Yeah, that got started because the kid just loved Earthbound and he started making like Earthbound fan games. You know what he said at one point?

He said, you know, I like making Earthbound fan games, what if I just take this engine and like that kind of art and I just make my own thing? And it's a global fucking success on every platform. Why? Because even though that kid is like a weird autistic psychopath, he at least had the forethought to go, well, I can just like make it my own universe.

I don't have to put nests in it. That's not the most important thing. What's important is the feeling and the characters and the art and whatever else. Yeah. Yeah, but if you're like looking up like anime pornography, you're not like, let me just find any old thing. Like I need to see some Mrs. Pac-Man today.

I've never, I'm fine with anime porn featuring completely new and exciting characters. You're totally lying. Except for Chun-Li, I like Chun Li. I just left P. Diddy's house. Oh, it's a bit. I gotta catch my breath. The biggest problem.

Alright, you got 12 seconds. Yeah, you got 12 seconds. All these rich guys, with these poor fucking dungeons dungeons where they keep people like us their sex slaves We're just gonna be able to come and look at and gawk at and rub my nipples These guys have so much money, but they keep us in these horrible conditions. Just like that awful broad This was really funny It was really funny in your head, I bet. Diddy did it. Diddy did it.

Diddy did it. You don't have to be, I think you're gonna pass out. Yeah. Breathing so hard. You gotta do like a Blair Witch. That was a sex slave who escaped from Diddy's dungeon. Diddy's dungeon is a good name for a video game. You should make your own dungeon.

It could be, you know. It could be anyone's. Donald's dungeon. Donald's dungeon. That's just as good, right? According to you. We're talking about satire and comedy now. That's different from Pokemon. Is it? Yeah, cause-

What's Detective Pikachu? No, I'm- you can have comedy within your own universe, but I'm saying it's not- Detective Pikachu is not a satire of Pikachu. It just is Pikachu. Ha! Detective Pikachu is not a satire of Pikachu. No. How do you figure? Because Pikachu is a Pokemon type. Is he a detective? He can be, he can be anything. He surfs in the first game. Way to surfing Pikachu. If Pikachu can surf, I'm sure he can detect. That's what they, they always said that about me. You wouldn't know satire if you If it was right in front of you, right?

Okay Problem the universe this week is after I heard about those boogie text man So you're saying that if boogie was on the biggest problem, he would have killed himself by now I'm sorry, you know, but I think that would have been way more worth it You know all you crying all this like fucked up shit fucking super killer but Boogie like killing himself that'd be way funnier I'm sorry that's just way funnier. It's a one-time bet this you get hours of comedy well I guess that's true. Would you rather have a fetus or any random fetus or Boogie? I heard they were trying to get you on LOLCAL podcast at some point. That's not happening.

Boogie said no. Oh, I said no first. No. Boogie said no? I don't know. Well, I already said no. So it's irrelevant what Boogie said about it. I already declined.

I wonder if I can, I want to go back on LOLCAL and I want to teach them how to make a good show. Callen I want to teach them how to make a good show Do you think any random fetus deserves to or boogie deserves to live more? What why what I think everyone should be boogie has the right to seek happiness good for him and I'll live He is right. Who would you prefer to live a pig one of your pigs and your stats or boogie? They're equal in value Look I'm not saying look if there's a personally value a human life more than a pig life boogie But you know if it was like ten pigs. I'd be like well. You know boogie worth ten pigs Is he it's a trolley problem, you know?

You need a bigger trolley? Is that what you, the trolley's not big enough? It was a mom pig and like her four pig kids and the pig uncle. You think they recognize each other later in life? I don't wanna kill a whole pig family, you know? So you can't answer that one? They're as smart as dogs, pigs, dick.

Dogs aren't that smart. I know. Okay. My cats't that smart. I know. OK. My cats are very smart. I'll say that. It's like some surprise. Is that why I ran away? Yeah.

No, he wasn't smart enough to find his way back. I'll say that. OK. Here's one that you might remember. Let me just go ahead and bump the volume down before I play it. Hell, if you know who. it's my favorite guy okay dick look at the wrong time of this two minutes 24 seconds yeah you got until a minute to make this funny niggler

game of gait 2 more like game of gait you had 30 seconds I got it niggler I got it so I decided to phone in to defend my best buddy, Vee-ho! First of all, everyone knows conspiracy theories aren't real stupid! That's why they're called conspiracies! They don't exist! You gotta workshop the sniggler. And second of all... What is this?

So what if Reno's a team guy? People love teams! Yeah, that's true. You got your basketball teams, baseball teams, team Edward, team Jacob, team Stars. All right, Niggler, wow, what a great call. Come on with this. He's working up to his point about gamer games. What's the point? What a great car come on with this up to his point about game

Blow my brains I know he's on my side technically, but I don't feel like it. And my best, best, he's my, I just love my boy so much. My best pal, oh buddy oh my, you're a friend of me. No, we're not friends, Niggler, I hate you. Thank you, thank you. Thanks for workshopping. Thanks for making a good tight bit and a good tight. Vito, this message is for you. Thank you. Thanks for workshopping. Thanks for making a good tight bit and a good tight. You know, this message is for you. Okay. I feel like we need to clarify something. Us as the fans really get off on the idea of you wanting to kill yourself, but let's be,

let's be clear. We don't want you to actually kill yourself because then the show would go away. True. We need you to just exist in a permanent state of wanting to kill yourself. How about I put myself in a vegetative state and I do this show? I'll shoot off half my head with a shotgun. When did you start doing that? A couple years ago.

If somebody came to you and said, right now you got to pick, boogie or any random fetus? I don't want to kill boogie. I'm not gonna kill him. You don't have to kill him. They just won't continue to live anymore. You get to pick one to continue living. I want more of the boogie saga.

I want to see where it goes. There's still so many. There's nothing about his saga. He's total trash. Yeah, but what if he kills himself or some people? He never will. He'll just get old and become a bigger drain on, he'll become a bigger parasite and fatter. That's it. And he'll produce less and less interesting content. Anything could happen. Maybe he's gonna turn it all around. The Lowel Cal podcast could be. Remember when he did that boxing match?

Everyone pretended it was the, his big comeback. He didn't even get any money for that. Keem totally fucked him over. Now he's making Keem more money. Isn't that pathetic pathetic boogie got fucked I don't know why a bunch of money for getting his brains beat in By wings and that for and keem got all the money and now he's on another thing just making keemstar money I did a bunch of free design work for keem and that was stupid that was stupid Yeah Anything can happen when you're like 20 and 30 when you're boogie's age nothing's happening

Yeah, your next the next exciting thing that happens to you is your death Anything could happen you might have a hard to look out podcast will be really popular You might have one good heart attack what people give a shit next one They're not gonna care cuz you know you just you didn't change anything about your life Maybe maybe keem will will bully Boogie again. That's good content. Alright, last one. Vito, I'd much rather you make some sort of video about either food or video games than make a comic.

Give up on that comic shit. Okay, thank you. Make a food video. And make a comic give up on that comic shit, okay? Thank you Can't make money off of food video. I was gonna make that I should make food you gotta do something now I'm making a comic I make this show every week Why does everybody acting like I don't make anything you looked up some abortion stats? Oh, I mean, that's not that much work But I come in and I do it and I update this the show update the thumbnails I mean, I don't know it just seems like you could be I want to mention real quick guys

At the end of this month, and I should have announced this sooner the month's almost over super killer That's it You haven't told the end of April to get in on the Indiegogo and then I'm shutting it off So then you can't buy it anymore. You can't buy it anymore Ever you'll be able to buy it anymore? And you can't buy it anymore. Ever? You'll be able to buy it when it's printed, but it'll be different.

And you can't get the campaign exclusive stuff. Like what? The blocks and stuff? The cover. Well, one of the covers is like the mass print cover. Like, shut, don't laugh. I'm laughing at the amount of stuff there, man I'm just explaining it and you're laughing at it. It sounds like a scam. It's not a scam.

What is this? What do you mean do? It sold it- it sold it for 80,000 dollars. It's a huge success. Okay, so let me promote it and you don't gotta call it a fucking scam! You need to make it! It's getting made! You need to make it! There's no more promoting it! I fucking hate you so much. You quit it! You don't sell past the sale! I'm not quitting! I'm not selling past the sale. I'm just saying if anyone

has not gotten it or if you want to... Bro, everyone's gotten it from who's listening. We're all on the edge of our seats fucking our dicks are bursting Ready to read this comic that we paid for Okay I'm just Fuck

You know like you know like other guys they got a radio show like the two hosts will go like What's going on with you? Well, I think- Not the good ones. No good show is like what you're saying. What do you have to, oh, well, you know, I'm doing these tour dates and I wanted to let people know that we are selling out on the website, so if you'd like to get in before it's over,

the other host doesn't go, oh, that's a scam. I mean, it's like multiple, it's multiple fucking times every show, you gotta buy Superkiller. What do you got? Everybody buys, I'm not constantly looking to cash in on the audience. It's not fucking times every show. You gotta buy Superkiller. What do you got? What do you got? Everybody buys- I'm not constantly looking to cash in on the audience. It's not every show. I normally- You're trying to get people to give money to somebody you don't know.

I don't even talk about it. Every show- I don't promote it on the show. I don't tell people to go to the Indiegogo. I haven't mentioned go to the Indiegogo in months. Months? You mentioned it last week. No, I did not mention it last week. You might not have. I have no idea. I specifically forgot to. Okay, look. I'm just upset that you can't pick a beautiful young baby over Boogie, who's old and busted. Sure, kill Boogie and say beautiful young baby.

Beautiful. I don't think of babies in those terms. Look, do whatever you want, make as many babies as you want. A building can be beautiful, doesn't mean I don't want to fuck it. Make as many babies as you want. If you want Superkiller, you can go to superkiller.org, it will redirect you to the Indiegogo. At the end of the month, I'm cutting it off.

There are certain campaign items that will be no longer available. I doubt that. You will no longer, the trading cards are only gonna go to people getting in on the Indiegogo, so if you want those. You don't need any extra ones? I'll have some extra stuff at conventions.

So if you see me at a comic convention, you go, hey Vito, I didn't get one of those trading card packs, I go, yeah, here's one, I'll have some extra stuff at conventions. So if you see me at a comic convention, you go, hey, Vito, I didn't get one of those trading card packs. I go, yeah, here's one. You know, I'll hook you up. But I'm not going to sell them on the website. You're not going to be able to get them online. You're going to have to go to like a comic convention to get them. Which ones are you going to go to? I'll probably go to, if I can get into, it depends on what the booth prices are, if it makes economic sense. But I'd like to go to Los Angeles Comic Con. I'd like to go to Los Angeles Comic Con. I'd like to go to WonderCon.

I definitely don't think I could afford a booth at San Diego Comic Con unless I split it with a bunch of people, but maybe. Hit Maddox up. I could hit up Maddox. Well, Maddox did the same thing. He split it with, who did he split it with? Fathead or something. Fathead?

I think he gave it up. Famous internet commentator, Fathead. Fathead, you know, hang up on the wall for sports stuff Yeah, fathead sports the stickers. Yeah feature Maddox. Wait was he actually sharing a booth? Yeah, that's not a joke No, it's not a joke. How does he know the guys at fathead? How was he sharing a booth with fathead? I don't know all right well I reviewed his you know how his video got taken down. Yeah, so I watched Another chapter from his video on my bonus episode last night and

Get this his whole video is about how I'm a scumbag for Locking up all of his all of this hot gossip a paywall. Yeah now the only place you can go to watch his video is my patreon hot goss and a paywall. Yeah. Now the only place you can go to watch his video is my Patreon. That's the only place to get it now. His five year opus that he made calling me a stalker. Is down. Is down and the whole point of it was he's a scumbag because he monetizes this drama. Yeah, he monetizes it now no one else can take it down.

Now the only place you can watch his take down of me is on my Patreon. It's still my back up No, did someone like threaten to sue him or something? I don't know Something happened. I don't know I know is I lost my channel over a bunch of shirtless fat guys and he's done way worse than that You can figure out which chapter did it cuz the other chap some of the chapters are still up, right? I Don't know Yeah, some of them are it looks like a patchwork Some of the chapters are still up, right? I don't know.

Some of them are. It looks like a patchwork. So you can probably figure out which chapter contained the incriminating information. Well, the one I watched did. Very good information. Okay, let's go. Comic Con. You wanna get a booth at a con?

No, fuck no. I've been to Comic Con. It's fucking horrible. Yeah, I don't know. Fun. Go to a little one. Go to little. Yeah, I don't know. I had fun. Go to a little one. Go to little ones. But I don't like buying stuff though. I think we gotta do a...

People that go there, they love watching shitty, like shit comic book movies and buying this shit. Did we watch that video? We watched that video where I went to Comic-Con and the guy had Maddox toys, right? Oh, he did? The robot, the Maddox robot. Did I not play that on the show? You might have, yeah. Yeah, and I'm like, do you think Maddox could make a comeback? And he goes, I think Maddox could make a comeback.

And I was like, all right. And that was pretty funny. All right, guys, well, don't forget, get in your Super Chats. I wanted to say, if people are gifting memberships, I don't know how to see it. So let me, I don't know. Do you need me to zoom in? Can you read that? No, I got't know how to see it. So let me, I don't know.

Do you want me to zoom in? Can you read that? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Okay. I gotta scroll back down. Cause I know you have the ability to give memberships, but I can't like monitor the chat the whole time to see if that happens.

So thank you if you did give memberships to people, though we appreciate it. David N for $50. The only way to top last week's Captain Dick, two fog machines. Oh! Fire! For $50 the only way to top last week's Captain Dick Seem to enjoy your fog of war this fog And I guess from last year I don't know if we missed this super chat last week for 20 vetoes never looked better as I'm blanketed by a wall of fog So okay. Oh, we missed a bunch of super chats from last week. Oh well

hog so okay oh we missed a bunch of superchats oh well has man for two thank you for not killing yourselves Kuf is twink has man for five good turn it the fuck off why you gotta warm it up secretly you go you forgot to charge it you're supposed to charge it in but I forgot to turn it on has man for five a vast veto you swine. You didn't get much love from your dear old mother as a kid. Bless your soul. No wonder you like men in dresses. Arrgh.

Hazman just fell in the super chats here for another two. Soy veto y soy un gran puta. Puta. Influence history for five, I rewatched some of the old live shows you do with Maddox. What the fuck was that? It was so awkward, and Maddox kept calling you your dead name for some reason.

Will you guys agree to that? Yeah, cause he's a bitch. We didn't agree. He said, oh yeah, so I think your YouTube said that your names like kind of, your whole brand is kind of like offensive. So I think we should just go with your real name. I said, yo, YouTube said that?

He goes, yeah. Yeah. Like that's crazy. Did said yo YouTube said that he goes yeah That's crazy did they put it that's odd that they they didn't put it in an email or something It's like no. They just like mentioned it That's crazy cuz everything's going through email And it seems like we're just kind of dealing with like production people and not like anyone who cares about cares about that shit Yeah, I know. It's just kind of like I think it would kind of hurt the brand like alright, man It's so weird the's a period of time when YouTube would you know help people make content and now they're like we don't make any

money from this. Because some moron convinced them to buy a big production studio. They still have that thing huh? I don't know. I've always thought about going there. I think I get access to it because I have so many subscribers, but maybe film something there It's terrible. Yeah, they have a bunch of porno stuff. During when they did that comedy festival And they had Norm MacDonald host the whole thing. She was ripping on everybody who came up. Yeah, that was great. And I went why did you stop? Just having Norm rip on all these youtubers is the best thing that ever happened anybody because the people running YouTube hate norm hate norm This is now your cosplay is complete from mint salad. Oh, it's just for you as in yeah

Do you know what it is can you see I think I can see is that a nice I think I know what that is. It's a it's a nice little It's green. I can tell you that it's a nice jacket. It a nice jacket did you get your size does she know your size I don't know probably did you ask your size no maybe she asked maybe she asked someone else What size do you think I am Shit oh shit, why is it coming out that side? Fuck up the old electronics and shit Great It doesn't even fit. What doesn't fit?

Oh, this new character, this character we have here. This grizzled Vietnam veteran who is about to show up from the homeless shelter. This shit smells terrible. You are so complainy. Your abortion thing put you in a real bad mood. I'm not in a bad mood. I'm not in a bad mood I'm I'm in a very good mood Let's see here. I can't even read the super chance anymore

Destroyed the reveal by covering it up in a blanket of fog I have to look through the fog in my mind. You can see my dad won an award. Your dad won an award, Ricky? My dad won an award. Blackest man in Northwoods University. No, that's not the award he won. Only black man in Northwoods University would do awards. Only black guy in the hand man. Only black man in Northwood University would do that. Only black guy in the hand there. Only black man in Northwood University.

Well, Ricky. Wait a minute. I gotta zip this all the way up. It's been a while since I've seen you on the show. Yeah, it's been a while. What have you been up to, buddy? Just working on my comic book. Okay.

It's gonna be out in a couple years. Okay. Thank you, Ricky. There we go. There we go. There you go. You know, we still, Ricky, at one point we started going through the ISOM art book. We were learning a lot about different characters. I think there is a page for you.

You went to paint in Bollywood? Oh, did they pay for me? There's a page, I think, for you and I. Like the coloring book page? Yeah. The color one? What do you mean? It has the, I'm going to say it has the production quality of your typical coloring book. Yeah. That I could color on? What do you mean? It has the, I'm gonna say it has the

production quality of your typical coloring book, yeah. It's much more expensive. Oh yeah, it looks pretty good. Well you learn a lot about the characters and their motivations, you know, what kind of things. What do you learn about them? Well you learn about your dad. You learn about traffic, like look both ways, that kind of thing. Your dad focused mostly on explaining how he thinks about characters and then pays a different guy to draw them well you got to think about the character that's what people don't know you're wearing a helmet that puts her the helmet to protect them to purple is side to protect the ideas from coming in step one think about the character yeah step two come up with there the character to come from you're gonna come up with their colors very important

You get your pencil right the pencil write it down. You know why they get you know why the pencil got eraser Make a mistake So God did with you Ricky You would have boughtorted me. You would have aborted me, but you cry over a bunch of pigs. No, I wouldn't have aborted you. You eat a chicken sandwich. You eat a McMuffin, Egg McMuffin sandwich. I cry.

And you're crying like a fucking bitch. Making no sense. I'm retarded. I know that makes no sense. I'm not saying it's perfectly equal, but it is still a lot of mass. I'm not trying to avoid me. It is slaughter on a massive scale.

I wrestled away from him. You the way the power take it away from him Yeah, Julie lost a little bit of the left a little bit of brain behind in there You got more brain than you fat boy. What are you talking about? What'd you think about when uh, did you know I saw him is a yellow and black because that's not a common color scheme for a Hero, what'd you think about that name? Name another character that's yellow and black. Well, there's a Wolverine would be one No, he's blue there's Batman name and Batman easy Name another one name another one

Everyone know Batman? Name another one. Name another one. Is Booster Gold blue? Yeah, another blue. You've got colorblind. You're color retarded. That's what we call you. Well, the Wasp, I was going to say, but that's a little too obvious. Women, no. Women are no superheroes. Come on.

What are you talking about? No women are superheroes. Well, actually, I think the Wasp originally was red. But then when Hank Pym became the Wasp. Oh yeah. Yellow jacket, I think he called himself. Yellow jacket, okay, name another one. I don't know a lot of comic superheroes,

but it seems like there's- Yeah, you're writing a comic. Isn't that crazy? Seems like there's a- What about Liberty Man? He black and yellow, he's red, white and blue. Ha ha ha ha! Fair enough enough Ricky.

What do you think of my cool jacket? It's very cool. Look pretty good. Thank you. Maybe I'll wear this jacket normally. Got any pockets? It does have pockets. Of course it had pockets.

What do you think it'd do? It's a comfortable looking jacket. Is that a woman's jeans? No. Maybe I'll wear this jacket normally says Ricky. I got a secret pocket up here. You can put anything in there. I could put cocaine up here. I mean I could put... Wait Ricky, Ricky, come on. Where do you think the tart strength comes from?

Well I just wanted to say that my dad won an award. Pretty cool. Your dad didn't win no fucking award. Maybe worth Domino's Pizza ever to exist. No he didn't win that award. No he didn't. No. Pretty cool. You see him in his

jacket. He's got a little bit of a beard. That's not, he didn't win that one. No, he did earn it. No. Pretty cool. You see him in his hat and his brooch, wearing the brooch for a man. Oh, you're talking about your father. Yeah.

Yeah, he's got very cool. Hobnobbing. Not a brooch, it's more of a. It is a brooch actually, like a bro. It was a Bolo tie and a nice hat he wore. Hobnobbing with other industrialists. Young entrepreneurs like himself. Ooh yeah.

How about those Toska sisters? They wrote an entire press release for him. I'd love to... Do you think both of them wrote it? I'd love to knock those twin towers over. Hey Ricky, come on, you can't be saying that. Those are women of God, we've been told. Oh God, God really fucks. I got a problem with God, actually.

Oh God, you really fuck me over. Oh God. Well, you can't say that, I mean, aren't you uh... What are you running out of chromatums up there? Come on, God. No, no, Ricky, you're good. You're a man of God, like, ISOM is. ISOM, of course, has a cross on his... Yeah, I have the retarded God, God. No, no, Ricky, you're a good- you're a man of God, like, Isom is. Isom, of course, has a cross on his-

Yeah, I have the retarded God, though. Yeah? He's a different God. He's a different God? He's retarded, too. I haven't heard this lore before. You haven't heard this? Is he related to normal God?

Related, like, he's his- Like, brother and cousin? Yeah, he's his, uh, he's his, uh, uh, like, incest brother. God a like incest brother God has an incest brother. Yeah, God fucked himself. I feel like this is your backstory that you've mixed up with I didn't, I wrote it down. You never heard of retarded God before? No, I haven't heard of retarded God. Oh man. Is this well-known hate the boy. He hates abortion too. He has abortion too Yeah, different reason he would he would he I would think he was especially for rape

Well, Rick I'm so glad that the alpha core community home is let you remote do Give me the remote Me all right a toy All right, Ricky. Well. Thanks for coming by Goddamnit Ricky Ricky retardo everybody has a oh Dick you're back Ricky was here, and he filled the fucking studio with fog. Why is the smoke so? Retarded upsetting for you. You would be terrible in war. I'd be great. It doesn't bother me at all

I think the most I think the most modern thing you can say is I would have been great in war will be I will be Well, it's coming. I'm gonna go to Iran. We're all going to Iran. Take this, Iran. Random guy for ten. Soon may the Masterson come to bring us Funkos and memes and rum. Oh, do you know that song? One day. Soon may the Masterson come to bring us Funkos and memes and rum. One day when the weighing is done, Vito's will take cuties and go. No, what is that? It's this great pirate song that's popular on TikTok.

Oh. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised.

I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm-tok. Oh, I'm surprised you haven't played it yet on this show Soon may I forget I forget the actual name of the song For has man for two coof is dead. He got too pregnant. Well, Jacob sir

for three Japanese young 300. Everyone check out the internet reactions podcast. Dude, Jacob's a great guy check that out. Milo Stinkopoulos for two pounds free Palestine. What the fuck is that? Sure. On the John for 10 Canadian I ratioed Vito on Twitter today. Oh are you so happy you ratioed me on Twitter? Nailed you bro. You nailed you. He had a tag that was clearly born from jealousy about hot ones and I had to do it to him. If he passes me in likes by the time you read this, I'm already dead.

What do you think about Hot Ones? What's that Hot Ones? Like Hotlinks? No, it's that show where they make celebrities eat chicken wings and ask them questions. I don't like shows with celebrities, any of them. There you go. Random Guy for five, Canadian. Ha-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubb My penis is leaning in the opposite direction though. We'll see where that goes Ryan Harville for 28 American

Sorry dick boogie's cancer is not gonna kill him. I've had polycemia vera for nearly 30 years It's real easy to live with It's not a death sentence seeing him act like a weak little bitch about it really irks me that fucker. I knew it I knew it was a fake cancer kind of that tub of shit Well boogie's the kind of guy where if you tell him what a fucking liar He's been lying for sympathy for like why are you surprised? Those teeth are gonna kill him that

Fucking plexiglass or whatever the PVC at this teeth are made. I was gonna leak into his brain look boogie is a guy Maybe it's maybe it's worse for him because he weighs like 500 pounds I don't know so they his cancer is nothing then I think the way it's not a cancer weight is the problem more than the cancer but he's always saying I have can't oh I have cancer and he doesn't have cancer well he has cancer but it's like there's fun cancer and then there's cancer cancer and he has fun cancer but he's making it sound like he's like almost raped he's like oh I have cancer everyone but he has fake Boogie has fake not cancer that guy has it and he put it in quotes why

are you acting surprised like I'm not when Boogie said he had cancer that my first thought was yeah but there is a God that's was my first reaction was yeah but not really cuz obviously well I thought he's just so Sick and fat that he got cancer. Yeah, but like when he said, you know, he didn't say Look if somebody says that you have cancer and you go what kind of cancer do you have? And blood if they don't say lung brain Or uh, I don't fucking know. What are the other bad cancers skin? Or, uh, I don't fucking know. What are the other bad cancers? Skin.

Skin cancer, you can... Pancreas. Pancreas cancer, sure. Every fucking cancer is bad. What are you talking about? No, but there's like ones where it's like, if they don't name anything... Girlfriend cancer, that's a good one. If it's a cancer you haven't heard of, chances are it's like, ehh...

I thought blood would be the horrible. Skin cancer is pretty treatable, depending on how severe it is, right? I don't know. That could be crazy. But like, I think like colon cancer now there's a lot of treatments for it. I might be wrong. I might be thinking of something else. Say go in the locale live and say boogie's faking his cancer. Well, and Dick has Dick was right. Dick has proof. Dick was right. Has been for two. Show is late cuz it's veto. No, it's not. Shit lips for ten. Hello ass sl Hello. I was

Cuz the microphones weren't working. No, why was it an hour late? Oh, I was tired. Oh So I slept an extra hour What? Do you want me to have less energy? That's not possible. No, this is a rare I didn't sleep last I couldn't sleep last night for some reason. She's so busy thinking about super killer I was thinking about Superkiller. I was working on Superkiller. I was working on the trading cards. And then I lost a bunch of money in the stock market.

That's not why I couldn't sleep. But that was just like, there's a lot going on all at once. What'd you lose it on? No, it's just like everything's down. Cryptos, did you see crypto dipped like crazy? I don't like it all. Sold all my dog coins. Yeah, good.

Cause that one's a joke. Yeah. But chain link dropped like crazy. And I was like, ah, come on. Should be the year of chain link. Lawrence for five, can picture of a little puppy whose life is just as important of that as a baby human. Pineapple Man for two, shout out to Bag of Schmidt.

Wow, yippee, up top. Sarah Gardner for five, there once was a man named Captain Dick. He had a mate who was too darn thick. He'd yell and eat whale, but everyone knew old Vito was doomed to fail. Dog Friday, five for 10. Vito, pig to fail. Dog Friday 5 or 10, Vito pig faced always lives late. With every excuse sealing his fate. He's snouted in the air, oblivious to time's beat.

A portrait of laziness with no grace to me. I'll save the pirate chance for you. How's that? Vito is late. Why don't you guys put a little, before you do a super chat, put like a little pirate or something. Yeah. And then we'll know who's supposed to read it.

Pirates and songs. Random guy for five. Thank you for that hour of silence and honor of OJ before the show. That's why we started. Yes, an hour of silence. Very respectful. And an hour of celebrating for his murders. We should celebrate with pioneer fried chicken.

Yeah. OJ's chicken of choice. Dumb username for two, I just noticed. Invincible season two, part two dropped. Yeah, that's been out for like a month now. Dump username for five, biggest problem in the universe is porn stars drop in character when the sex starts. If you're playing Velma, then you

should be screaming Jinkies. True. Very true. Those porn parodies are all terrible. She drops the lowest from Family Guy voice. I'm like, well, now I can't even get off. And she's like, no, Peter. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, say that. And then she goes, Peter, yes, Peter voice, I'm like, well now I can't even get off. And she's like, no, Peter! And I'm like, yeah, yeah, say that.

And then she goes, Peter, yes, Peter. And I'm like, no, no, you gotta go back to the fucking Nantucket housewife. They're such shitty actors. Oh, your dick's so big. Why? You think that's big. You think that's big, Lois. And then I'm about to rail you from behind.

And then it cuts to Quagmire Peter watching like that space shuttle There should be more Family Guy porn that's just fun strategy for time imagine Chuck Dixon my ass Chuck Dixon my ass inhaling Blinding pirate fog that would only be better Nobody wants that better if you inhaled it sooner. Nobody wants that, Vito and Dick. Imagine you're inhaling some fog and it's just gay semen. Nobody wants that.

I guess it's just funny to me that Chuck Dixon, for the longest time, I go, oh yeah, that legendary Batman writer. And I never thought that I would do a show that broadcast live to 1,500 people where a guy as Chuck Dixon, or Chuck Dixon is actually on the show talking about how no one wants to see a bunch of homoerotic shit

The show horseman show is really good quite far No, I think it's gonna be great. I don't think I don't think any of this you know getting that shit's gonna be good What is left to do with superheroes? It's like what what can you do that was not done by Marvel and DC over the last 50 years? It's not woke. No, no, their shit was not that woke to begin with either. So it's just like throwback to like basic bitch 80s superhero comics. Where it's like, well, the thing about horseman is he finds bad guys and he beats them up. And they're like, oh, cool.

And the most of the edges they're gonna push is like, and he also beats up liberal pedophiles and you go, yeah, okay, well at least he got a twist. Honestly, if he did that- Has he killed the kids too? I'd be happier. Before they become liberal pedophiles? Sure, why not? But no, that would be a good comic.

Like, that's a good twist. Like, Batman, you saved all those kids from the liberal- Yeah, and now- And I killed the kids too so they didn't become liberal. Like, Batman, that's fucked up. Stats man instead of Batman. He goes, well, it turns out that the kids who are molested at a young age, 60% of them will become child molesters themselves.

So me, stats man, I had to kill those molested kids because odds were they were gonna become pedophiles it's a good character oh yeah that's man yeah just the black guys and the white guy he didn't have a dad stats are a say his entire his entire fucking hero thing is just like, yeah, but you shot him, shoot that lady. It's like, well, statistics say he didn't do it. And statistics say that guy did it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a hero for our time. The hero for our time is Statsman. My horse man, a gay bouncer, Larry Shug Knight with a gay BDSM horse mask. I think Statsman and the Niggler should go to should go to town on each other. See if only you wrote all these things then you'd be a powerhouse. I think Statsman could appear. I think I might file that one away. James Gartner for 20. I had a friend in a water bread. I think his parents were perverts. He nodded off with a cigarette end of that. He died? He died in the

waterbed? He died of a cigarette? I don't understand. He fell off with a cigarette, end of that. He died? He died in the water bed? He died of a cigarette? Yeah, I don't understand. He fell asleep with a homosexual? What are you saying? I hate suicide, like story baiting. Yeah. Oh, you know, he didn't make it.

He nodded off with a cigarette. He killed himself, he hung himself, what? I don't care. Just tell me what happened, because it annoys me that I don't know. Yeah. Why'd you bring it up then? Why'd you bring up that he's these? I don't feel bad for you

I feel enraged that you didn't give me the specifics of the suicide well or the death whatever it was No, maybe he'll follow it up Crimson for five. Well guys is it I'm checking out. I just can't take it anymore I'm booking my trip to Greenland and never looking back Have fun Crimson coach cake for five crim is faking it for attention shut the fuck up Have fun Crimson coach cake for five crim is faking it for attention shut the fuck up Sean show for two skinny Dom DeLuis verse fat Russell brand good. That's us Johnny Rico for 50 No, okay hard args in the I gotta do the pirate There wasn't enough time to pass

Hard I'm just saying like you can clearly tell it's a pirate yeah but he said this before you made that bet put that on over the Jacket you can be hot Take the jacket. I guess I better crank the air up Conditioning damn it. It was just clearing up in here I'm gonna break that fog machine. I'll buy another one one more show I'll hide them everywhere in here You get one more show with the fog machine, and then I'm throwing that thing off a fucking cliff I already bought another one and hit it thinking you would break it this sucks. I hate this Baby eyes that can't take the smoke. No, this is awful. It's like affecting my sinuses or something. I

Think it's mixing with my soap and causing a chemical reaction. I'm getting a burn It's mixing with my soap and causing a chemical reaction getting a burn Johnny Rico says hard args in this and the chat mate ease get on the scale Peggy Cypherson sucked us for five Crimson's a good guy eggs a moon is a big problem dick. Please read the eggs a moon email in a funny voice I don't know I Gotta go through my emails. I know somebody sent us music to play on the show. We'll get it sent it to me again Oh, yeah Kindle and hide sent one in okay. Well can we remember to do that? Yeah, Cyphers and suck this for 50

This isn't for vetoes booty. This is to keep the pirate on for the rest of the show. Okay, you're getting a pirate The pirate is on I know actually Okay, but it's a slayer for five I didn't learn from dick example and got suspended from Twitter's for telling you someone to eat a bag of cement to harden the fuck Up you fucked up monster Slayer. You can't be that clever. That's pretty good Eat a bag of cement that's not telling you to kill yourself You could live through that little wordy coach cake for five one time. I would lift are getting raped to

Coach cake for five one time. I went toat Come Town and everyone there knew Keemstar. Oh, Keemstar is a frequent visitor at Goat Come Down. G-dash for ten US dollars. Suspito, did you have fun on Trashcast? I take credit for your appearance. My 50 dollars got EVS to send the link. You should apply to go on financial audit with Caleb Hammer. I wanted to see him yell at you for food.

You should go on that audit with Caleb hammer. I wanted to see him yell at you for food You should go on that show with Caleb hammer. I don't want I don't want people to go through my finances They'll go right because they'll go how much you just went on door dash I got don't worry about it. How much did you spend on fucking magic card bullshit? You don't need I'm not in like financial trouble though. It's for guys who are in like financial trouble, right? We all saw your soap. We know you're in financial trouble. I'm fine. I'm really fine. You're in financial crisis. Anyway G-dash, thank you for donating $50 to Ethan to get me on Trashcast.

I don't understand why you come here and you donate $10 to gloat about it. You could have donated another $50 to us. Yeah. But I did go on Trashcast with Ethan Van Schyver. How'd you do? I read a lot of complaints. Did you? Yeah, actually we're saying it wasn't very good. Shut up. Who said that? No one said that Such an asshole They did say that I saw people say it was good. What do you mean? I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know

I'm reading different stuff look, it is a it is a You want to treat it when you go on there like hey I'm just hanging out with a buddy but normally when you hang out with a buddy there's not 2,500 fucking people watching you you know it's weird same with this show it's surprising that I luckily we're comfortable with each other but like if I was a guest on this show I'd be nervous really yeah you know because the audience hasn't learned whether they like me or hate me yet now

the audience already knows that they hate me So it's like I can do anything. I can talk about killing babies, and it doesn't matter man That was like 40 minutes of that shit joke free. It's an important time joke free zone So you think all the jokes were joke free the jokes were pirated away Doesn't have to be jokes, and it was an interesting discussion. It was a retarded discussion Well, there are no such things as interesting discussions It doesn't have to be jokes, and it was an interesting discussion. It was a retarded discussion. There are no such things as interesting discussions. I think there was comedy.

They're either funny or they're trash. I think there was comedy within it. Maybe a meta kind of comedy. Why don't you just hit the fog machine again, since you're the master of comedy. Because now I legit lost the remote. Actually, when I mentioned it, I'm like, I got to take that thing away. Thank you, G-Dash. Geeks for two. St stats are a huge source of comedy. I agree kicks mechanic for five Fuck a little cow podcast all my home

Fuck the little cow podcast as they should worst podcast on the internet. They gotta fix it most boring It's very boring Chuck E Cheese for fifty thousand Vindaloo's Biggest problem is security harassing everyone over nothing. But when my motorcycle is stolen from the front of their business, they're nowhere to be found. Security guards, man. Hasmend for two. My name's Crimsoll.

I'm gay and I want attention. LJCloborino for two. When can I get the super killer skin on Fortnite? When indeed. MartinPietro for five. UBI, ESG, SteamGuy, Vito, Dedic, bring back the intro music with the purple neon grid it bumps Maybe I will we got to keep up we should rotate intros somebody else sending an intro video with your music

Everybody keep making intros everybody keep making music coach cake for two Vito you live like this Yes, damn bitch you live like this goofy. I like that comic. And Roxanne Originally that uh original that's a mashup that was not the original image So the original image the original image was just max and Roxanne hanging out and somebody put them in a shitty apartment had Max go Damn bitch you live like this Roxanne looks all like cute. She's like what are you gonna do? Roxanne now that's Dog you would fuck. Is that why you think animals and humans are the same?

Because I watch Goofy movie too many times? Yeah. I identify with the furry community. I get it. James Gartner for 50. Wow. That's a big one. That's a big thank you James.

God. The soap problem is up to tits in normal everyday problems. I'm willing to agree with Mr. Masterson, but Vito, stop taking bathroom pics, buddy. I took one. That was one too many. I also took a picture of me in the bath. Sometimes I take pictures of me in the bath. Don't do that.

Verse for 20, Vito, your shower looks like you're squatting in your own home. Clean your shower. You're looking like Boogie unable to mow his own lawn. But you got a curtain in there, man. I would have to, look, I would have to take a day. I would have to look I would have to take a day I would have to go buy some what waterproof. What do I get to get? Well weather

waterproof Lacquer is some shit What I'm gonna have to sand that fucking windowsill cuz all the pants put contact paper on it Get a roll of contact paper a target and just unroll it. How long is that gonna last? You got a whole roll just keep putting it on every time it wears off It would be better if I just shave it down and repaint it Now you'll fuck that up. I'm gonna fuck everything up. I'm gonna make my landlord do it. I don't have heating in that apartment. You don't have heat? No. How do you what do you do when it's cold?

I mean I have to have an electric heater because my heater's broken and my landlord's never fixed it. Oh, man. And you know what? There's a lot going on. Remember I had that couch in there I was going to get rid of? The bedbugs one?

No, the one I got rid of to get the bedbugs one. OK, yeah. And then I sent a message to my landlord being like, hey, I got to figure out a, I can't figure out how to get them to do heavy Item pick up or whatever like do you have the account number or whatever? Yeah, and I figured out I could just you know cut up the couch with the song throw it in the People were mad at me because I said what did I say I said jigsaw I meant to say hand. What's the?

Circular saw not a certain It's got the little thing hanging down. A thing hang... It's like a hand saw, but it's not a circle. It's just a blade that goes up and down. I have no idea what that is. Man, I don't remember either. I'm not a tool guy.

A sawzall? Well, a jigsaw is... Sawzall's all straight, like a sword. No, a jigsaw is like straight like a sword. No a jigsaw is like a I only know rapiers And the rapiers are better. I was thinking a jigsaw is like in a shop, right? A jigsaw goes all Waaawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw I guess! Are you trying to prove that you do know what tools are to random internet people? Who gives a shit? Just look it up. You obviously don't use tools every day. Who cares? I mean, it is true. I don't use this. At least I have tools.

You know, that feels like something. To cut your couch up like a serial killer? I cut up my couch, and I made my- You need to use those tools to find- I built Mega Shelf. You ever see a picture of Mega Shelf? No. It's my giant- I have a full wall of a shelf of just all my video games. It's very cool. Throw it all away.

No, no. Burn it. I love it. Trash it with a sledge- how much to take a sledgehammer to all of your toys and video games? $300,000. That's it? Yeah. Is that how much it's worth?

It's probably worth about that. Oh We gotta get mr. Beast to come in and Smash all of your I don't think mr. Beast does that No, he's a toy smash. He made a bunch of water wells in Africa like anyone gives a fuck about that I see him always promoting that hey guys, we went to Africa and made a thousand wells so people could drink mr Beast no one gives a fuck about fresh water in Africa. It's all his like, ooh, he's like, he's helping people, you know? By handing them suitcases of money. I don't know.

Look, that I care about. I want to see a guy like me getting money. I don't want to see a bunch of people that a guy got nothing to do with getting water. I tried to remember what I was saying. Oh, anyway, so after I text them and I say, can you help me with this thing? And then they text me back like three days later and they're like, yeah, I can get that set up. And I'm like, well, I've already figured it out because you took too long to get back to me. That week I get a letter saying my rent's going up

and I'm going, oh, did they raise my rent? Cause they forgot I exist and me contacting them reminded me they have a tenant they haven't raised rent on. And now I'm like, God fucking, I think that's what happened I think they went oh fuck when's the last time we raised that guy's right cuz now he's asking us for stuff so now we have you know an excuse to go in and raise fucking rent yeah I think I cost myself 1200 bucks a year by asking if I could remove a couch I'll never financially recover from this I mean I won't financially

recover with this sucks I hate paying more money clips over to it She's you're basically just pooping in your living room There's this curtain so I wasn't sucked this for five. You know, it's okay. I live horribly, too I would never show anyone yar Friday five or two how long your litter box baths usually how can you fucking bathe in a in a? Sweltering litter box because the whole bathrooms a litter box. There's cat litter all over the whole bathroom. I don't guarantee I think it everywhere Yeah, there's there's the I think it's on the it gets on the floor There's no point even having a box just pour the kitty litter. I scoop it all the time

There's not poop but not the once the last time you vacuumed your bathroom. I'll go in with like a couple months ago I'll go in I'll go in with like a couple months ago. I'll go in, I'll... Gotta do it every day. Well, I'm not doing it every day. You can't use a vacuum on tile. Not effectively. What? It's the most effective. On tile?

Yeah. Seems more effective on carpet. Okay. Tile can't make a suction because it's got those little bumps. Flicks the things. It's not like those little bumps. Flicks the things. It's not like, sinking. Flicks the thing.

You gotta lower it to tile setting. Yeah, I know that. Shhh. Mop it. My, uh, my, I should get a new vacuum. My vacuum sucks. McWisnows for five. Biggest problem is driving eight hours to see the eclipse and getting clouds for the

totality. At least he got to drink, gamble, and got engaged. Ah, I'm glad, oh man, I'm glad that your eclipse was ruined because fuck everyone who saw the eclipse but my condolences on the engagement. Did you try to see the eclipse? No fuck no. I slept through it I forgot it was happening and at first I was like oh man I missed a once-in-a-lifetime whatever and I looked at like pictures of it I'm like oh that's stupid. Stupid it looked amazing. Did it? With the sun all blacked out. I don't everything I saw just was kind of like

Gray look like an album cover But it didn't like dark in the whole world right yes Everything was dark Yeah Dark what did you look for I just saw like people's videos of it I'm like I thought it in prison if you look at? I just saw like people's videos of it. I'm like, yeah, it's not an impressive if you look at it It's like done When you it's done like a black circle black hole Sun

Right in the middle. All right. Well people have to tell I haven't heard anyone say like always other clips was so cool It was so cool. I can't believe it Have you ever needed vice on your marriage look to oj? If you ever need advice on your marriage, look to OJ. McQuiznos. And if you have a baby, do whatever you want with it cause it's yours. Pineapple man for two, does Vito have toxoplasmosis? Yes.

Cyphers and Suck this for two, did you know toxoplasmosis doesn't do anything? I hope so. Adhashara, you know, toxoplasmosis. Makes you crazy. Women have it, yeah. I have it probably. Adhashara for 10, first time catching a live show, live rather than watching the Vodafor. Makes you crazy. Women have it. Yeah. I have it probably.

Adashara for 10, first time catching a live show live rather than watching the VOD after. Thank you for the countless hours of laughs I get from this content. Dick needs to stop being a retard. I agree. Amazing. Great super chat. Yolanda, thank you for too. Says jokes are funny. We agree. Eric Winberg for two. Reboot in search of from Vito's bathroom. Coach Cake for two, Vito about, how about you suck my membership.

The membership's just supposed to be fun. I don't understand how it's turned into fuck you. Ed, you're tired for 20, biggest problem is women riding in the passenger seat of your car, tapping on the inside of the goddamn windows when they point at shit, leaving fingerprints. They have to touch everything do women that point of things Yeah, they love it. I know they can't make their words no good. Yeah, LJ

clobberino says LMA Jewish star and a rat Okay, I'm gonna hope those are unconnected Cybers and suck this for five mentioning memberships annoying super chats have a chance to be funny fuck members. Fuck members Totally, but Vito wants every single fucking dollar rung out of you Okay, crazy. He wants to encourage this membership shit. Hold on crazy cat for ten says hey Vito yellow belly Flash is calling you a pedo on midnight's edges stream today He said he wouldn't do a promo fight event with you, but he'll be at LA comic-con if you want to pull up

Okay, okay. Let's go pull up. How do we do it? How do we make it happen? I just find him. Press pass Okay, yeah, when when is that and then we just got a fight in a hallway Yeah, we're boxing gloves like butter bean. I will I'll be I'll dress like a referee Okay We're gonna talk about this after the show. Yeah remind you send me a message You're not coming to LA yellow flash you got the wrong fucking idea about that fat boy You can have a raw you have a real fun time at LA Comic Con. We'll see who's the pedophile. Yeah We'll see who's the pedophile. We're gonna have a real good time. The battle for the boy lover is on at LA Comic Con

between Vito the Cheeto and Yellow Flash Nothing, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen. We're not gonna be at LA Comic Con. Don't worry about it. Danny excellent for ten pounds We're going LA Comic Con. No, no, no. 100% We definitely will not be there. There's no way. Why are you even saying no? I don't know. I just I can't imagine sarcasm doesn't work. We're definitely going if he's going will be there Trying to sneak up on this no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I just know how conventions work. Okay? How does conventions work? Conventions work is that they will just ban you. You gotta leave the convention at some point. You can't ban me from LA. I live here. I'm not gonna do anything in LA Comic Con. Nothing will happen in LA Comic Con and that's the bottom line. Okay? What are you doing? You're breaking my brain with this!

You need to trust me on this, okay? Why? Because Ethan Van Skyberg just got banned from a fucking comic convention, okay? And all his buddies. Oh, you're worried about actually getting banned for your fucking comic? Ugh. It's fucking Super Killer. Holy shit.

It's not that, okay? It's obviously that. Stop it. We'll figure it it out it's gonna be great I'm very excited I'm glad that yellow flash has picked a venue fucking neck maybe maybe we'll figure it out this fucking comic man it's gonna be great daddy just turned into like a shut up about it it's not a thing all right oh nothing's gonna happen cuz I have to go in to the comic and sell my comic book That's not what I'm excited anime whole rapist for five

You don't get on the epic mealtime podcast with Harley you have plenty of calorie tips and tricks They'd appreciate also Lysol fun for bathroom mold. I don't have mold Daniel Patrick for ten dick Mike Redbar said you're dangerously close You're getting put on fool's notice Mike Redbar is gay everyone who listens to Redbar is gay Fuck that gay stupid show. It's so stupid. Do you watch it? No! How do you know it's gay? Because all the people, all this like Redbar shit of like, Redbar's putting you on notice. Mike Redbar is gonna talk shit. We knew that though. Yeah, but like, for what reason? I don't know anything about Redbar!

I don't know anything about Mike Redbar! At least they're not like playing like they're not gonna go to a convention cuz there's Cuz they don't have risk like selling their comic book at a convention That's not what he's calling people out directly calling yourself for what we don't know anything about Mike Redbar Just being friends with Josh Denny Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm nice to Josh Danny Mike Redbar. Why are you sorry? I don't know cuz I don't understand what the drama is Your friends with a guy. I don't like fuck you. That's the that's it so gay. That's stupid. I don't care So you're not no one's gonna fight yellow flash then

No, I'm gonna fight yellow flash just not just not Comic Con, probably. Not at the convention. At all. Oh my god. This is the most nutless... It's not nutless, you are bad at optics. You are an optics disaster. You are constantly talking about defending fucking pedophiles. No I am not! You reported Alex Jones to YouTube and you think I'm bad at optics?

You reported him to get their channel destroyed. You think I'm bad at optics my optics are great Why don't you tell us what airs July should have done? Through another pedophile shit should have done another yeah anyway I'm glad we're on red bars notice. I'm glad that he has found something to make his show Mike Mike Mike to extend whatever stupid Mike I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I like Josh, you know. I'm gonna promote his comedy. I like him. Sorry, I don't want to be on Fool's Notice.

Mike, I don't want to be on Fool's Notice. I think Mike Redbar is gay and sucks dick. And his show sucks and his fans are retarded. That's it. And anybody who listens to Redbar is dumb. I disagree. I disavow this. And anybody who listens to Redbar is dumb. I disagree. I disavow this. It is the worst.

And you should definitely feud with this show because it would be good content. He says regarding your problem with cars. But Mike, I think we could team up and take Lolcow live down. Yeah, well if we work together against Lolcow. After we take Vito down, we could take Lolcow live down. Alright, if you team up against Lolcow, I'll take it all back. LJCloborino for two says I'm a niche and I am all, I can't say that. Michael winning for two, why the hell can't Vito say sixth?

There you go. Dogfrightify for five. Even after living in the liberal hellhole of Oakland, Team Guy Vito still supports Democrats. What would it take for him to not be a liberal anymore? The only thing that would have to happen for Vito to stop being a Democrat is if there was a political party that had a better shot of taking money from people who have more money than him. That's all you, that's all Democrats care about is somebody can come in and take something

that they don't have from other people. If Yellow Flash is still running his mouth on these shows just go in the chat and go Why don't you just fight him at like a boxing club or like a gym or something the streets of LA the most or? The streets of LA skid row we can find a pedo we can find an alleyway Skid row we can find an alleyway. Yeah. OK, and we can throw down. And we can know what the date is. We can know when it's going to happen. What are we going to?

The redo of Healer, the feeler and redo of Healer. You can wear whatever gay anime mask you want to wear to protect your fucking identity, your gay, fat identity. And I'll even allow you to use three of your most powerful anime moves on me. You can use your Sherrigan eye. You can use your Sharigan Eye, you can contact the Bato-Sai, whatever fucking gay anime fruitcake shit you want to do,

and then I'm gonna punch you in your dick and you're gonna cry. And that's my plan. YellowFlash enjoys, he said it was a 12 out of 10, an anime where little kids are getting raped. Yes. And he said it was one of the best anime of all time. He told a bunch of kids. He called a bunch of children. That they should watch it.

That they should also watch it. And read it. Of a bunch of little kids getting raped. I've never done that. No. But Yellow Flash did do that. He said everyone should watch and read this, these illustrations of children getting raped.

I love it. And I said yellow flash I disagree, and I would like to fight with you about it because you have challenged me to a fight and I Called you a pedophile you can't issue a feel about he's a little kids getting raped. It's fucking weird I'm not a fan I'm no I saw that redo of healer and I went so what happens he just rapes a bunch of kids Something it's too much. I'd rather read anything else. I'm more of like a quantum leap kind of guy

I didn't go. Oh, this is so cool MacGyver I gotta tell everyone how cool it is that all these little kids get raped in my favorite comic anime You just want them aborted before they're just one of them aborted. I don't even want to see him. I'm dead already Anyway, I don't get it, why does Yellow Flash say he wants to fight me and then I go, okay, and he goes, he bitched out. Oh, see, that's what it, oh, I'm not gonna fight him. Because he's a pedophile.

Okay, so you're a pussy, why'd you say you wanted to fight me then? If a pedophile wanted to fight me, I would kick the shit out of him, anytime, any place. You said you wanted to fight me, if you don't want to fight me, just say, nevermind. I'm an idiot, I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to fight him. I'm afraid of Vito, I don't want to fight him, just say, never mind. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to fight him.

I'm afraid of Vito. I don't want to fight him. I'm worried I'm going to get hurt. He's a bigger guy than me. He's a bigger guy than me. And that's fine to say. You can say, I think he outweighs me. I'm worried he's going to hurt me physically.

And it was stupid. I'll be thinking about kids getting raped. Right. I just want to watch my lolly rape anime in peace. And I should not have picked this fight. And I'm yellow flashing. This is how I talk. And I'm yellow flashing yellow flashes is how I talk and I'm yellow flashes I talk and I'm a lolly pedophile loser and that's yellow flash saying that and that's fine

Yeah, just say that just say that neither of us like Lolli I don't understand why he thinks he's in a position to go on these shows and go yeah Well, you know, I'm not gonna fight him, but you know, like I will be I will I mean, you know, maybe I will maybe I will Well, then let's just do it cocksucker. Let's do it. Let's make it real. Why is he so into defending Eric July? Cuz I've never defended a man except for maybe Trump but not even that much cuz he's brain poisoned These guys are like fucking probably thinks about his how big his cock is all the time. I Think a lot of these guys have never Talked to a black guy for 20 minutes.

And now they're like, I got a black friend. He's kind of cool. He's almost like a rapper, the way he carries himself. It's like I'm friends with a rapper. He won an award. He won an award. For being a black guy. My black friend won an award.

Being black in a non-black area is pretty cool. And he's going to help me make my gay comic book even gayer and worse than his. Isn't that exciting? And also, how much, how many, do you think, what's, what's Yellow Flash's comic's name? Uh... Power Rangers? Yeah, it's like Power Rangers. What is it? World War II Power Rangers?

Do you think there's gonna be any illustrations of little children getting raped? I think he's gonna try and put them in there and hope I sneak it in stops him It's probably well probably behind some of the walls They're probably gonna go to world war two like the age of consent back then was a completely different thing of course isn't that a problem I? Just don't understand. I don't know man if I'm watching a movie or reading something and they start raping kids I'm like I'm out. That's enough It's enough for me. I'm start. I don't read voraciously read it and then start posting about it on Twitter telling kids to read it. I just don't know how you come back from challenging someone to a fight and then pussing out as hard as he has.

Calling someone a pedophile? How does anyone have any respect for that guy at that point? Where you go, well you challenge him to fight and then you say- Pathetic. No. It's very weird all right, but that's why you don't that's why you don't issue Challenges to fight well welcome to LA Come to LA Comic Con. I'm looking forward to it and I'm gonna be there selling popsicles out of a cooler with my Mexican brothers. I'm gonna be there wearing my hajime no Ipoh with my Mexican brothers. I'm gonna be there wearing my Hajime no Ippo

cosplay, famous Japanese boxing manga. You're gonna be disguised as a cosplay. I'm gonna be disguised as a Mexican selling cherry bags, Ziploc bags of fruit juice, of freshly squeezed fruit juice. And those little corn rings or whatever. With the bacon and sombrero, yeah, yeah, yeah. Single bags, single sodas and waters.

Yeah, y'all press, if you're stopping to get a bacon-wrapped hot dog on the side of the street, make sure that you pay close attention to who's vending those things. You got something too. Somebody sent this in. I was just gonna be my cosplay costume for LA Comic Con. I don't know if it's for you. I think it's for you. I don't know who it's for. Well, let's see. This is a...

Yeah. Some sort of a hat. I feel like we're supposed to have a bunch of envelopes for this. Oh yeah, we don't though. We don't. Maybe next time. Somebody do a Carmack bit. What would be our Carmack? This is not gonna fit.

This is like child's size. It's something that kids... children run from. Children run from children run Yellow, why don't you put it on to the feathers in front? That's not how a turban looks take now you gotta yeah, there you go Hello This feels terrible Can I get some mystic fog?

No, I don't know what it made sense to save it for this. All right I'm looking for that young Clippers here for 20 I hope to finally meet the almost no longer young business award winner of the decade at the upcoming Denver fan Expo Drinks on me if any local dickheads come out. We need some mystic. I mean We're not we're not doing a bit just don't it's not important somebody send it what is it how does this bit even go he says three things right he goes no he says a thing and it goes like the Federal Reserve you know it's like the answer right okay and you open it

and he opens the envelope you think it's like the questions in the envelope and it's like where would you like to fuck your mother you know and it's like the questions in the envelope and it's like where would you like to fuck your mother? You know and it's like a twist Yeah, or like this this is fucking things things veto Things hate veto hates all right a boy turning the age of consent. Yeah, yeah Yeah, that's good Fender pinwheeler for five there's a tick toller crew who asked boomers how much their house costs Yeah, right. That's the bet. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Terrible. Fender, Pinwheeler for five.

There's a TikToliker who asks boomers how much their house costs. They immediately clam up and understand they're about to be harshly judged. That, but shanking. Yeah. Hitting them and stabbing them. Hitting them based on how much.

Tritergy for five. Dicks, you say Veets can buy a little house if he stops buying toys, but what if he also bought a toy house that is a house and a toy? You could build a house out of toy houses. You should do that. That'd be pretty cool. Dumb username for two. Where do we send our art portfolios Vito? These nuts calm Yeah, you can find my contact info strategy for two. I hate that. Hey, where do I email this put tick-masters an email on Google, man?

Yeah, come on video. Just all the email. It's not that hard. We have a contact form on the website How do I email what do you want for the subject? How does everybody else get it? You know how I talk about Twitter all the time? You know you could like message people on Twitter and just try that. Don't do that. I like that. Adventure Tim for five. Vito, you have to say please when you ask someone to do something for you.

Dick is right. Also R.I.P. Juice. Well, I was asking someone to do something for Josh Denny. Still have to say please. No matter what, if you ask somebody to do anything, you have to say please. I don't think I do. I think it's understood. You could die on that.

Cyphers and Sucked is five. I like how Vito stops Dick from getting too close to the line but immediately dances on the line himself. What do you want to have happen at the theaters? Nothing. Diamond G for 222, Vito likes B babies, yeah. Johnny Rico for two, Shark Jump Vito, Edge Lord Vito, Dead Baby Joke Vitobabies, yeah. Johnny Rico for two, shark jump, Veto, edgelord, Veto, dead baby joke, Veto.

Yeah, totally. See, it's not edgelordy if I just believe it, though. But I don't think you do. Because you also want to protect pigs and shit. I think that the logic follows. You think a fetus is- I don't want to protect unborn pigs. If a pig's pregnant and you want to abort all the pigs inside that- So what trimester you want to have abortions at? Where do you draw the line?

One two or three? Up until the point of birth. AHAHAHAHAHA! Psychotic! AHHHH! Keep saying that! But then when they come out you want me to give them money You want to take my money as soon as they pop out of the pussy You want to pay other guys to put a gun to my head and make me give them my money. Yes. Yeah Totally fucking psychotic. Well, that's just how it is refund super killer

Refunded only available till the end of April get in now Refunded only available till the end of April get in now Dean chock five. Thanks for the live voice veto make the food show you love to eat what could be simpler easy Okay, swindle for five. Can I use your uh, I want to do a cooking thing. Can't use my house Well, there you go. So now it's not gonna happen and it's dick's fault. Yeah, I can't I use your kitchen I see your bathroom. I'm not gonna fuck up your kitchen. I see your bathroom what it looks like Mm-hmm. I'll cook you a cook you a meal you can do that at your house or somewhere else then you could bring it to me What if I cook? All right. Well, okay swindle for like a shoot studio, but it could be no

I don't want that could rent it out. Mm-hmm Price of zero. I think it benefits the show if I'm making content. How do you fuck if it benefits? All right. Nah, I'm doing my kitchen. Kswindle for five, fetuses develop central nervous systems at some point before birth veto.

If you cut my head off, do I not bleed? Look, you can debate which trimester, but it should be as late as possible. Electra Bolt for five, I recently went to public transportation to Japan due to being overweight and they charged me an extra fee called a tubby and then he says fair.

That's a good joke. Bazooka for two. How can Vito be edgy when he's completely round? Namamae for two. I hope your gay comic fails. Cyphers and Suck this for two. I'm no longer a Vito-phile. Love life sir, please. Cyphers and Suckdiss for two, I'm no longer a veto file. Love life sir, please. Cyphers and Suckdiss for five. People respect me because I'm pro-death. They can't

take your shit of like, bitch should live. Fair enough. Cyphers and Suckdiss for five, team guy veto always with the nonsense takes. If there's no pirate right now, I'm going to disappoint Coof. Buster Rhymes for two, big based brown baby boarding butter ball. Jason Revens for five, my name is Vito oink oink, it's been a schweissendung a oink. I have no idea. Iverson Suck this for five, I understand exactly what Dick meant that Vito radicalizing people. Also drunk, super chance is a big problem, voted up, love life. Gaz for two, parents is the dad against his babies am not, you know what, pay $5 if you want to make a complete sentence.

Chad Dragon for five, Vito is upset he wasn't aborted because he's too scared to go to Greenland himself. That's true. That's not true. That's a good point. I don't want to be dead. Are you afraid to kill yourself? No, I don't want to die.

I'm not want to die. I'm not looking to die. Why? I enjoy being alive. In what way? There's stuff to do. It's fun. I make jokes, meet people.

How bizarre. I've found enjoyment in life. About as much enjoyment as a family of pigs living life peacefully on the farm well Chad he's got you there you go this is hot Cyphersons I told you why are you in two jackets because I didn't I forgot I was wearing one well I told you to take it off and you didn't I gotta turn the air up it's not the air I Bet is so childish that uh

To remotes so no he mixed them up childish very good the guy that wrote Boys are girls suck boys are great Cyphers and sucked is for five animals grieving is rare. There's lots of Anthropomorphizing and documentaries and studies. I'm extra not a veto file Yeah, there's no the whole gods for five atheist veto fedora bro veto always with the hottest fedora tips Buster rhymes for two while these equality types sure are blood there are Justin Brodyk for two says what do you both think of the toxic Avenger God I haven't seen it in a million years I remember enjoying it but they're bringing it back I think Jad Dragon for five what about a mother who loses her job and money when the baby is two can she unalive it then no two you

can it would suffer. Clap trap to destroyer for five, Vito, you clearly need to learn how to attack Richard the same way he does to you. You can't. I think the show- Clap to destroyer, you're fucking retarded. I think the show works.

Cybers and Suck this for five, Vito, I'm a radical Christian now, thank you for showing me the light. Exactly. That's fine. My job is to tell it like it is, not to win fans. Geeks for five domestic cats have driven 63 species to extinction so far and threaten hundreds more. 30% of

the meat industry's environmental impact is pet food. Oh, that's interesting. That's a problem. We got to get to lab-grown meat. Saffers and Sucktis for two. Pick brought me back to earth with the Pogs. L-M-A-O. Gut for two. Vito's problem killed the show and he won't drop it. Yep. Doug Frederified for five. Remember, however much you dislike Vito, it's never enough. Pied up in there for five. Vito, if you could push a button to end all existence, would you do it? Last super chat, I'm yapping. No, I don't want to end existence. You wouldn't want to end all existence with

a button push? No. Why? Why. Why? Why would I? Why would that be good? This is for your laughs. How am I going to laugh? Existence is over. The moment of pressing it would be the greatest feeling

possible. What do you mean? Why come? Why go through all that work to blow your load? I say doing a mass shooting would be like the best day of your life, and everybody says I'm crazy. Yeah, but you gotta go, you can't get everybody in one shooting.

You can get everybody with one button. I don't think the point of the shooting is to get everybody. It's to get, you know. Oh, you really don't understand. To send a message. Geeks for two, murder isn't really an applicable term to animals. I think it is. Jad Dragon for ten animals are the same as humans. What's wrong with having sex with a dog?

No difference. Yeah. Cybersynsuckness for five Vito is the main character. He's Shinji. You're supposed to hate him, but you have to hope for him. I like the pirate. Vito makes the show. Black Crimson for 15. Vito is the biggest problem. The Univr veto is the biggest problem the universe stick is the winner Oglivich for two new vid beat veto plugs go fund me Shazmortion drives Cyphers and suck this five amazing of veto proves me wrong instantly I pray for the accident guy, but all the money is on the show in Shala

Truett Doug for five not going to that go fund me because human life has no work I didn't say that two soaks calzini for five a guys videos a point how good human suffer They don't exist believe it or not. I don't kill blood bugs nor step on plants. They are alive You got plants rights y'all about plants rights. Well, you want them to suffer plants can't feel pain cyphers and suck this for five You know, we love you the real we I'm commanding an army in shell. Ah, thank you JJ for 10 dick you can donate videos cut off this super chat to the fundraiser for that Thank you. JJ for 10 tick. You can donate.

Vito's cut off this super chat to the fundraiser for that trunk driving accident. What's a trunk driving accident? You don't have to do that. Clap traffic to the destroyer for five. Praise Vito. Mashallah. Captain Cheese for five. How much money do you abort that GoFundMe guy since Vito's all about avoiding suffering.

G Money Pants for five. Vito's right. People and animals are the same because clearly he is a pig. I'm surprised it took people that long to pick up on that. Well, you're just reading to the part where you were talking about that. Well, I'm saying you know of all the veto is a pig jokes then I start being sympathetic towards pigs. I was expected more at super chats like well, he's just talking about. You're better than them. You're faster. Scar for five. Yo Richard, please play Oh Man I Sent You.

I don't know if you know what that is I don't know what that is JGar for two I've either of you seen Smiling Friends on Max I haven't But uh I've seen the first season You ever watch the first season of Smiling Friends? Uh uh Uh you gotta watch it If enough people see something and say it's good I just don't watch it

I can't It's not just that it's good but that um It's like a bunch of YouTube guys made it So it's good, but that it's like a bunch of YouTube guys made it. So it's like one of those rare pathways from YouTube to actual mainstream comedy stuff. Yeah, the thing I said, I just can't expo- I get it because you don't want to feel like- I'm not going to like it. I just feel like-

I watched the first episode. I watched that Hasbin Hotel though. Finally. I like it It's great. It's really good. It's really well made Christians should watch make that well Christians aren't gonna make that They're just gonna complain about it endlessly. They should look at it and think oh, yeah, this is what it's got a message about like redemption and overcoming your no smiling friends looks great, but I'll say this the first episode Mike, are you an RLM guy? Mike Stacalaza? Is he on it?

He does a voice in the first episode. And it's kind of worth just watching to see Mike do a cartoon voice. It looks great. He nails that episode. I'm like, bring him back. Make him a voice actor all the time. Bob McGumper for two, help GoFundMe guy put noses all over a 14 year old. Oh my God.

Jorby Jimson for 10, my faith was shaken after finding out a bunch of pro-life charities or grifts earlier this week. Vito's argument is so bad that my faith has been renewed. God truly works in mysterious ways. Thanks Vito. Because you really have this like blood lust for defenseless things and this also insane virtue signaling need to make other people pay for bums and degenerates.

It's so bizarre. You could make other people pay for the unborn too, but you just want to kill them. What can we do with the bums, the degenerates? Let them die. Let them suffer and die. We already do that on some level. Um, yes, but in doing that we take my money. Look. And pretend that we're helping them.

If a bum shows up and he goes, hey, I'm gonna starve to death if you don't give me a sandwich. What am I doing? What do you mean? Someone's gonna give him a sandwich. What am I doing? Someone's gonna give me a sandwich. Wait, what? So you just want like private charity? I'm just saying that the tendency of humanity is even if someone's a big lazy piece of shit, we're still gonna like find a way to keep them alive.

We're not gonna just let them starve and die. You, don't say we. You are gonna do that. If a guy personally came to you and said, I'm dying of thirst, can I get a drink of water? What am I doing? You're giving him a bottle of water that you paid for no What am I doing when he comes up to me you're playing your favorite Nintendo? Video game and he's knocking at my door. Yeah, I'm not opening the door, okay What if your windows open?

Yeah, the window cracks the window cracked so you can feel the air. A guy comes to my house and knocks on the door? You're in your car at a grocery store. I'm not opening the fucking door. I'm totally stonewalling him and gray rocking him and driving away. I do this all the time. I'd give him a bottle of water. I think most people probably would.

But the problem is you don't have enough water to give everybody, so you need my water. That's the problem. Okay. What do you mean okay? I was just saying, so you just don water. That's the problem. Okay. What do you mean okay? I'm just saying, so you just don't wanna be taxed. Yeah. Okay, I get that. No.

How many conversations can we have about that? All of them. All of them. All of them. All right. Well, you know what? You're in America. Most of us wanna give water bottles to homeless people.

And some of us also wanna go a little too far. You don't have any water, you wanna pay for it though. Well, we wanna give them water. How much water water bottles to homeless people. And some of us also want to go a little too far. You don't have any water, you don't have to pay for it though. Well, we want to give them water and then we want to give them food. How much water do you give homeless people? I don't know, whatever comes out of my fucking taxes. But you don't actually do it? The society does it for me. I pay into the system. The system provides for people. I don't endlessly kvetch and bitch about it

cause I go, well, you know, everybody's got a basic amount of sympathy for these people. And I get it. I have a sympathy for them. You want me to not have sympathy for these people, basically. I want you to not think that what you're doing is helping anyone.

I don't think it's doing great amount of help, but it's keeping them alive on some level. They would, a lot of these people would be dead if you didn't have some amount of welfare or whatever help. No, a lot of them would be living in Utah or something. I don't know. Possibly expensive to live here. But a lot of these guys, they're, they can't just move.

They're not like, uh, someone would have to get them to Utah. So you care about the people. Do you want, do you want like a government program that moves homeless people to Utah? As long as Utah is the bottom of the trash, yeah. Okay, well then your taxes are paying for that, so... But you care about those people? Yes.

But not fetuses? No. How does that make sense? I care about the fetus insofar as like... Christians say they care about the fetus, but they don't care about living people. I'm ambivalent towards the fetus. It's like if it lives, if it lives, it's great. And if it dies, it's not a big deal. What about the homeless guy?

I feel a little bit, you know, well, again, it's the same as the Christians. No, it's not. Cause again, if the homeless guy dies, I would go, well, it's not like the biggest fucking deal. But I also think that it would take the smallest amount of effort to like you know give him what he needs to be comfortable oh yeah and I'm okay with that okay you should go help more maybe I will you should go volunteer to soup kitchen well

I've always wanted to open an animal shelter because animals are the same as people so helping animals is the same as helping people. I'd love to have a cat rescue. I think I'd be very good at that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take care of these cats. Big fundraiser for that one. Well, cats are more, you know, honestly animals are,

I feel worse for animals than human beings. Because you look at them as yourself. No, because they're, they're, They don't have traits of a person so you can project yourself into them completely. It's that they are so much more prone to being victimized because like a human being, you're right, that homeless guy should be self-sufficient. He should figure out how to get himself help, how to find food.

Cats or a cat or a dog or whatever else is like, this world has been built for humans and it's not built for dogs and cats and whatever else. These animals have been removed from habitats where they normally could just be self-sufficient. They're stuck in urban centers and it kind of does fall on us to take care of them because we've taken away their, you know, territory. You gotta finish your homework. Not thinking about homeless and cat rescue and stuff. I'm not doing it now. I'm not doing it now.

I think if I ever retired, you know, and I was like, what am I gonna do with my time? I'd have like a little cat rescue or something. You gotta have money to retire. I'd at least have like 20 cats. I want 20 cats. I saw a video and it was two gay guys who just live in a house with like 20, 20, 30 cats.

Yeah. And I went, that's the life. That's the way to be but we all like well you know we all get something different living in hell we all get something different out of living in cat I like animals I really like animals excrement smell well that would be the worst part is whenever they do those documentaries about cat shelters the yes 20 litter boxes set up in a row and you're like oh I thought it was the gay sex you know it's the worst

part about being in a gay Relationship running a cat rescue is getting fucked up the ass a lot of people think you don't have to do that part You don't have to do that Anyway, Cypher's the suckest for five so I think the show works because it's two waves of autism that exists in everyone I'm very sober and straight by the way fuck Exxon moon I'm glad I've reinforced everyone's faith in Christ because now they learn that true demons walk among us. Vito, who cares more about cats than human beings.

But not really. No, pretty much, well, you know. I think I care more about animals than most people. Not more than like a farmer. But you don't do anything with the caring. Like that's the that's kind of the problem. I'm trying to well yeah because I'm trying to get to I'm not a say it because I'm not a man of like incredible means.

I'm trying to make something of my life and if I got to the point where I was like you know financially if I had boomer money I'm going to retire and live on a boat. Okay. You're going to live in cat shit. I'm going to live in cat shit. Okay. I'm going to help, uh, give my, give my home. Yulam Ovato for 50. So shave that beard. Uh, and whatever, that's just me. Not everybody has to care about animals as much as me. You don't have to care about animals equally to me. I just personally care more about animals. But that means nothing. Oh yeah, it doesn't. I mean, none of it is matter. None of it is like a like a hard and fast rule. Yeah. You know, I guess I'm just saying from my point, you can care more about babies than I care about babies. I just think you guys care like way

too much about babies. Because again, like I'm not losing sleep. Like if a bunch of cats die, I'm like that sucks, but I'm not losing sleep over it. If a bunch of babies die, who cares? It's like what are you? It's really weird to hear you compare babies with cats and pigs. I just, I don't know, man.

Like it's all life. It's life. I think all life has. You don't think that it's very disturbing to people to hear you compare humans to cats and pigs? No, because I mean I'm saying that I think that all life is like valid. I'm look again if a human being dies I genuinely like feel like I would feel more about like a human being dying than an animal, right?

Uh-huh. Okay, cuz there's a lot more there and they have a lot more family and more connections and whatever else. Uh-huh. I'm just saying that like, I don't completely discount animal life to the point where like, when you kill. But you eat it. Hundreds of thousands of animals a year

and then you go like, that's totally fine and is meaningless, but killing even one baby is the worst fucking thing that could ever happen. I go, well, I can't square that away. That doesn't make any sense to me. Vito, you're eating animals. What are you fucking talking about?

When you see a dog in a cage in those Chinese market videos, don't you go like, oh my god, that's horrible. Yeah, it sucks. That's really, that's horrifying. It really sucks. You just want to be a dog. You just want to run around and a bunch of Chinese guys are going to cut you into pieces and eat you

That sucks Yeah, okay. Well to me that's worse than an abortion Yeah, I mean clearly whatever fucking weird I don't think it's that weird really yeah It's kind of some kind of weird human hatred It's not a human hatred cuz I like humans who have popped out and are fully formed. I'm not that worried about one that's like this fucking small and isn't aware what a thought is and doesn't know what it is. I mean, I'm done. I don't care about it anymore. It's not funny.

It's bringing the show down. Well, that's part of the show. Ulim for 50 says shave that beard. PSI Chris for two is his earthbound mentioned Chud Bronson for ten rolls in mud veto eats garbage veto Okay, that's a lot. Chad Dragon for crying veto pig veto eats sandrum and poo for 5k smelly V You're not reading super chats now oink oink veto. You can read that one there. You read it. You refreshed it though You got it. You got it all you get the whole thing skipping super chats

Unbelievable just like a little Dragon for two as veto. Okay. Do you want to read it there? What I am going to do this You know sad veto no cat veto failure veto. Thank you Chad dragon to veto beast Glenn Lentz for ten You guys see the Soska Sisters made a sequel to Night of the Living Dead with some of these shitty actors from the Yaira trailer. Looks just as piss-drinkingly bad. Also great show tonight, guys.

Thank you. I was surprised at how bad the Yaira, I thought the Soska Sisters would be more talented than they were. That was genuinely surprising to me. Oh yeah. Baloyk for two, Superkiller is the star citizen of comics. They just filmed themselves drinking piss

and making out, didn't they? They didn't make that though. That other guy made that. They were just in it. So they have less experience than... They made some horror films. They went to one called Dead Hooker in a Drunk or something. That was one of these stupid...

Did it look any good? But the thing about horror movies is that they're supposed to be low budget and look like shit. Yeah. So the second you try to apply those sensibilities to making a flashy CG superhero thing, you're like, oh, so you guys aren't actually talented filmmakers. You just were good at making Grindhouse schlock that,

yeah, pretty much any kid with a copy of Premier can make. I could make a horror movie, OK? It's like, oh, the camera's all shaky, and all the footage looks like shit, and it's underexposed, and whatever else, because that's, you know, okay? It's like, oh, the camera's all shaky and all the footage looks like shit and it's underexposed and whatever else, because that's, you know, whatever, that's the style. Like horror movies can look like shit. A superhero movie has to be like particularly shot

and run you, whatever else. Cyphers and Suck this too, I love Eximoon, I love Boulder, love all his arts. Doug, Fredda545, Vito, I understand if you never release Superkiller, it's just a dumb comic anyway, who cares? I'll just go see Deadpool 3 on July 26th instead. All right, on the John for five, I take it back. After that disaster of an abortion problem, we can't be friends, says the niggler. Is anybody even still watching after that? Oh my god. We got people watching, look. So bad. How many people? We got way less than there was. We got 1,300.

Way less than there was. Everyone's having fun. Michael Winning for two. Dot says, Cowboy Butts drove him nuts. Cypher Dysuxus for five says, Dot is my legal name. Don't dox me. They do drive me seething mad. Kenny for 10 says, Fat.

Kenny for another 10 says, Still fat. Cypher Dysuxus for five says, Ex moon. Doesn't have the money to complain about my love. He cites the filters, blocking the F slur. Very convenient, very sober thoughts. Press S for 10. Please tell us hot crypto tips. I need more money for your Patreon. There you go.

Sell everything that's not Bitcoin. Ruff housing by proxy for five. Dick the Jackets a good look. Thank you. Kara Fro for five. Throws up the horns. Toothless Ninja for 10. Pulling outlaw set right now.

Pulled a Lotus ring and TBF to Wizards of the Coast no amount of crap they throw on these sets is worth it oh it's too bad Joe Schmo for five hit the game winning free throw in my b-ball rec league tonight so here's five dollars in celebration of W's oh booty time good job Joe Schmo first for two Vito swallow cement wookiee Z for two Vito needs his own fog machine in a treasure chest. That would be funny. Dogfretify for two, you were terrible on trash cast. Awesome.

Joe Schmo for two, trash cast has no Vito's booty, so no wonder it sucked. Diamond G for two, left inside jacket pocket for smoke machine. We figured out where it is. Cybersonsuckdisc for five we all wanna fuck Roseanne Also the goofy mooney movie is Keno Goofy movie is great Tesso for five if Marvel offers a free mod to a stagnant IP and calls a Deadpool and Wolverine

will veto Sue to block it just make your own super killer Drunken Atheist Studio for five says plugs Culturescape but make it seem like you're bringing it up organically don't read this Guys if you want a nice interview with myself Check out culturescape on YouTube. I sat down for a two and a half three hour interview. We covered a lot of topics including French foreign films yellow flash being an epsilon and

Eric July Great stuff check it out Culturescape over on YouTube edited by the great Drunken Atheist Studio. Doug Fredda, five for five. The eclipse was awesome. I would go to Greenland immediately if I didn't see you in person. Yes, good.

Drunken Atheist Studio for five says, I was setting alarm to wake up and see the eclipse, but I went outside and fell asleep in my car. I woke up an hour after everything looked cool. Good job. I'll watch a video of it. Mullet Kid for five. Why don't these comics people ever tell you to read Harvey Picard?

American Splendor is a great guide for comic weirdos to learn about real life. I saw the movie I don't think I actually read his comics though. Dog front of five five Can I use my three wishes to delay the super killer release date further and further? Yes granted Texas for 250 and euros Texas for 250 and euros A lot of blue for five alive one dog friend of five five in the neighborhood That's the pirate flag in the neighborhood Vito's a sight to load it mess can't get it right each time a quake his size I send the walking buffet without the grid no yo ho

walking buffet without the grin Okay, Molly kid for five very habit hear that Vito will give this five bucks to my brother someday, so I don't have to. You're welcome. Justin Brodyk for five. The reason Smiling Friends is so good is because it's like early adult swim, but now ignoring Tim and Eric's contributions.

Just watch it. Oh, he's saying in spite of Tim and Eric's contributions, you should watch it. Oh, do they work on it, Tim and Eric? I don't think so. Maybe they were in an episode I mean there at some point I was just like I'm kind of over this like adult shit like I I know adult swim stuff like I just need a break From it, but maybe I'm coming back around. There's some good guys on that show guys you would like

Real quick Hold on, hold on. Is it real quick? Dog fried a five five. Is it real quick or is it real dead? Thank you for making more radical what my pro life believes. Cappuccinos for two instead of skipping super chats try skipping meals. Joe Schmo for five. Vito what do you think of feeding the homeless leftover human abortion meat to give them nutrition and stem cells. And Val for two. Vito has no argument. Pro life doesn't equal hating cats. Here we go. Are you ready kids?

Pro life does not respect animal. Are you ready? It's funny that you guys are just the opposite side of the same thing. They pretend to care about some things and you guys pretend to care about it on the other side. Oh! What's the game where we smash all the toys?

Yes, we do! A man who tweets about little boys! VEETO'S BOOTY! What's in the box? You know you want it! VEETO'S BOOTY! So get on the scale or I smash it to shit! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY!

VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! Vito's booty, Vito's booty! Did you see anything in here Vito? Are you looking- I mean did you swap it or something? Are you trying to see what's in there? I saw something upstairs but it wasn't good. Wow.

I don't want to smash anything, I don't feel like smashing anything. Then you better get on the scale. I don't want to smash anything. I don't feel like smashing anything. Then you better get on the scale. I don't know. You got- you got five drum rolls to tell us. You don't even have to do it. Just- we'll just- just wait. You're just gonna do it. Who cares, he says. Here we go.

Uh. Maybe I lost a wave. Maybe you did. That'd be cool. Maybe I lost weight. Maybe you did! That'd be cool. Maybe, uh, maybe a million dollars will fall out of the sky. Maybe OJ will come back to life and find the real killers. Your scale and mine are like four pounds off. Your scale is broken well, when do you weigh yourself? What do you mean all the time

Okay, well you're 293.5 and that's like the same as last week It's one pound lighter than wow thrilling this bit gets better and better And now maybe there's a bad toy in there There you go. Maybe it's a good one. Here you go. It's heavy now though. Why is it so heavy? I don't know It's like a brick in here. It's probably a brick you better just smash it. Oh It's like a brick in here. It's probably a brick. You better just smash it. Hahahaha Oh

Look at- oh my god. Some sort of pedophile book. It's a pedophile compendium here. All the- Is that good? All the- how are you gonna smash books? I was gonna burn them. Hahahaha Okay

I got the complete- you should read this. You're not gonna read this, huh? I don't give a shit about any of that crap. No, this is good! This is the Evangelion manga. Is it good? This is the part of the show where I get to talk about Evangelion, cause that's my favorite part of the show. No, the show is over. Hold on, put up the list of our top supporters.

Is there a Ken Doll and Hyde song we should listen to? No, it's over. The show is the abortion thing to basically ruin the show. I don't think it ruined the show! It was so bad. What are you talking about? It's just terrible. People hate that shit. Well...

It's gotta be funny. It was kind of funny. No, no, no, no, no. The joke is that- I feel like I'm talking to Eric Jalai now. Absolutely no, no. The joke is that. I feel like I'm talking to Eric July now. Absolutely no taking criticism. Well, I'm gonna say great show. I learned a lot.

We gotta do a bonus episode. I don't think anybody suggested a bonus episode topic last week. Yeah. So please in the comments, let us know what you want for a bonus episode. Don't forget to go to superkiller.org. We are closing the campaign.

Get in now. Vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. And of course, we'll have a new bonus episode. We should record it this week. That'll be at patreon.com slash biggest problem. And if you're a member now, we'll announce, we'll try to do it live so people can watch us record the bonus episode, cause that's fun.

Yes, great. And maybe we'll get OJ Simpson's chicken. Yeah, that would be great. And maybe we'll get OJ Chimpsons Chicken. Yeah, that would be great. And maybe we'll, uh, I'll use your kitchen to make some fun food videos. That's not happening. I think it would be cool, you know, you just, just let me cook up there. You got a burner, you got a little kitchen island, I could set up a camera. Yeah I know, it'd be perfect for you.

You're not using my kitchen to shoot videos Why do you not want me to shoot something in your kitchen? Cause it's a waste of my time You don't have to be there That's an even worse proposition for me Why would I not be in my own house? I'll cut you in on the uh, I'll cut you in on the I'll put it on our channel, it could be the biggest problem cooking segment

I don't care And I'll cook you a meal. No. You want some pie roast? No. You want some pasta? No. You don't want me to cook you anything?

No. See, I would be a good segment. I think everybody right now listening is going, I wish Vito could cook in Dick's kitchen and make some great cooking videos. Yeah, yeah. Let me just use your stuff for my video. It's a stove. You have a stove?

You use it all the time. You got a stove? Yeah, but I just don't have a... I have a very narrow kitchen. It's not set up for filming, you know? Well, you're gonna have to work, do, make do. Well, everybody wants the food videos. The reason you're not getting them is because Dick will not let me film in his kitchen.

Yeah, definitely, yes. If anyone else in LA has a kitchen I could use, let me know. Maybe that could happen. Okay, have fun! Okay. Alright. Bye bye! Goodbye!

Stop and stop.